#delayed lack of proof

[heehoonies]

messy

description: literally just a heejake pwp threesome

work count: 5k

warnings: dom!heeseung, switch!reader, sub!jake, member on member (heeseung and jake are boyfriends and act as such), pussy drunk jake, cock drunk jake and reader, subdrop, fluids (jake drools a LOT), dacryphilia, spitting, mean dom and soft dom heeseung, dp, cumming untouched, overstimulation, creampie, cum eating, squirting, multiple orgasms, orgasm delay, degradation, praise, breeding kink, pet names, puppy as a term of endearment, fluff. they're in love idk what to tell ya!

* only minimally proof read! excuse any mistakes bc im too damn tired to proof it all *

a/n: dedicated to my bff @sjyfave who gave me the pairing to work with. i'm popping my smut cherry with this one! i hope y'all enjoy, it's literally just pwp so i hope it suffices as my (semi) return to writing hehe

heeseung really shouldn't be enjoying this this much.

jake is acting like he always does, hanging off of heeseung’s tall frame as they stand beside the bed, waiting for you to pick a movie for the night. but as he watches jake’s eyes twinkle as he looks up at him, heeseung can't ignore the way he urges so desperately to see them flutter shut. heeseung imagines all the ways he could cause that, his cock twitching beneath his sweatpants at the imagery of jake lying, pliant and needy beneath him, shaking from the desperation of waiting ever so patiently to be touched.

you glance over at them from your spot on the bed, the lack of noises coming from your boyfriends strikes you as strange, with jake’s giggle being a commonly heard noise in your apartment. you see jake staring up at heeseung, eyes shining at the mere thought of simply being around him. the sight brings a smile to your face, seeing jake’s pure adoration for the faded cherry red haired man shining through his gaze.

jake and heeseung have always been this way. jake’s smiley, bouncy, puppy-like behavior increasing tenfold whenever he's around heeseung. jake loves heeseung, and heeseung loves jake. when heeseung discovered your love for jake that mirrored his own (feelings that he had only recently begun exploring as beyond platonic, once you expressed similar feelings for your shared best friend), it was a no brainer to ask jake to join your relationship.

and he made the perfect addition to your relationship. jake’s hyper personality works well with two partners, the two of you are thankfully able to keep up with his energy as a team. jake is the sunshine beaming through the blinds on a summer’s morning, brightening the lives of everyone around him. jake makes both you and heeseung happier than you’ve ever been, and in return you give him the love he deserves but has never received. and you can’t help but wish that you had infinite amounts of love to give him, it never feels like enough for your bright eyed, bushy tailed boy. you would give him the whole world if you could, and most days you wish you could, doing practically anything to keep the sparkle in his eye.

if you could read heeseung’s mind right now, you’d hear similar sentiments in his brain, wishing he could give jake whatever he desires, and hoping that he is enough for him.

heeseung can see jake’s clingy nature rapidly evolving into something he knows all to well - jake’s insatiable sex drive is kicking in and beginning to take over his entire body. jake holds him tighter, pulls him closer, practically trying to crawl into his skin (heeseung wouldn’t mind jake crawling into his skin, if he’s being honest.)

you hear a small whimper and glance back over at them from where your gaze had zoned out on the television.

“what is it, jakey?” you hear heeseung’s voice quietly ask, watching as jake just continues to stare.

okay, maybe he should be enjoying this. because heeseung always enjoys toying with his boyfriend, the way jake doesn’t even bother to hide his quickly reddening face or his growing hard on from him. heeseung knows jake like the back of his hand, and right now he needs attention.

jake doesn’t respond, prompting heeseung to hold the side of his face, thumb running gently across his cheek. “tell me what you need, puppy.”

jake’s entire body is buzzing with anticipation and pure want. wanting heeseung to touch him further, wanting be sandwiched between the two of you, needing so deeply to be shaking and sweating from the overstimulation you both constantly provide him with. he shivers at the thought, dick swelling further in his sweatpants, poking more into heeseung’s inner thigh. the closeness of their cocks makes heeseung’s twitch once more, overcome with the need to capture the two in his large hand. if only jake knew the restraint it took for heeseung to stand still like this, urging jake to make the first move.

jake opens his mouth to speak, nothing coming out but a small squeak as a small smirk envelops heeseung’s lips. he doesn’t move, watching as jake’s gaze drifts lower and ghosts a hand over his cock. heeseung nearly jumps at the sudden touch, grabbing jake’s larger hand and holding it up by the wrist, bringing it up between them, their gazes meeting on the limb held in the air before settling back on each other. “use your words, angel.”

you watch silently, shutting the TV off and tossing the remote onto the side table and shimmying yourself closer to them, perching yourself on the edge of the bed, legs hanging off the side. heeseung glances back at you, amusement twinkling in his eyes alongside a glimmer of discomfort from how painfully hard his dick sits in his basketball shorts. you reach your hand out, gripping jake’s hip lightly from behind him.

“tell heeseung what you need, baby boy.”

jake whimpers at the nickname, one that’s only used when you and heeseung both know he’s very needy. you feel your own wetness grow in your panties at the sound, waiting until you can pounce on the energetic boy standing in front of you. but you wait for heeseung’s lead first, knowing that you’d be in trouble for making the first move. heeseung loves playing this game, teasing jake within an inch of exploding, knowing how it makes both you and jake feel. he loves the way you take control with jake but still yield to him, and loves watching the two of you come undone simultaneously, the sight often times spurring him into his own orgasm shortly after. watching the sight of two pairs of eyes fluttering shut, rolling back, bodies shivering and shaking, fluids spilling everywhere; knowing how jake will watch with hooded eyes and a sleepy gaze after two orgasms as heeseung collects cum from all three of you just to force jake to suck it off his slender fingers.

jake knows if he doesn’t say anything, heeseung will drop his hand and leave all three of you unsatisfied, barring jake from touching himself at all.

“please kiss me,” jake pleads, “please, heeseung.”

heeseung smiles lightly before obliging, capturing jake’s oh so plump lips between his own. jake slots his lips against heeseung’s in return, hands unmoving even as heeseung drops his wrist in favor of gripping his free hip roughly. your lust begins to take over, needing to feel someone’s hands on you in the moment, and the noise that slips from your mouth causes heeseung to pull away preemptively, lingering close to jake’s face.

“you’re working our girl up over there so easily, pup.” heeseung watches jake glance back towards you, smiling as he can feel jake’s already impossibly hard dick get even harder at the sight of you with blown out eyes, watching in awe as your two boyfriends kiss. you didn’t mean to make a sound, wanting to watch a little longer and hold back your need to be touched if it meant being able to witness the two men you adore loving on each other. “bet she’s so wet for you, jakey.”

the tips of jake’s ears get redder than before, if possible, as he can’t take his eyes off your wide eyes and hard nipples poking through your (jake’s) thin t-shirt. “pants off. now.” the authority in heeseung’s voice leaves no room for argument and you can already feel that you’re absolutely soaked, panties sticking to your core as you try to tug them down.

“look at that,” heeseung taunts you, reaching down to sit eye level with your pussy before blowing on it. “baby’s soaked, jakey. look what you did to our girl.” he glances back at jake, watching as his hands shake slightly, holding himself back from pouncing on you instantly, waiting for heeseung’s instructions. jake tears his gaze from your dripping core, looking up at heeseung for permission. “clean up the mess you caused, jake.”

jake falls over himself, landing headfirst in your pussy. he sets an insatiable pace, licking a long stripe all the way up to your clit before sucking it harshly. your body reacts in tandem, back arching as you look down at the way he devours your pussy. he wastes no time, slurping up all your juices before dipping his tongue inside. the sensation has you fighting to close your legs, but a hand from your side holds one open. jake is rutting against the floor like a dog in heat, the friction from the carpet and his sweats doing little to help the untouched dick between his legs. the drool from his mouth is falling down past his chin, soaking you even further as it slides all around your dripping cunt and spills out onto the floor.

“is our jakey making you feel good, angel?” your heart stirs at the nickname, tearing your gaze from the man between your legs to look up at heeseung, a soft smile on his face. you nod earnestly, “yes, feels so good, hee.”

“be a good girl for me and keep your legs open.”

you nod again as heeseung captures your lips in a kiss, his lust beginning to take over as he bites on your plush bottom lip, hard but not hard enough to draw blood. the painful sensation shoots right between your legs and you moan into his mouth. jake moans beneath you, tongue still buried deep inside, and the vibrations make you whimper. heeseung dips his tongue into your mouth with fervor at the opportunity, his free hand reaching down to pinch your clit harshly between two fingers. jake pulls back and licks heeseung’s hand, the pressure on your sensitive clit doubling as you lurch forward, losing connection with heeseung’s lips. he chases and recaptures your lips in another kiss, his fingers getting harsher before moving to slide two fingers inside of you. he curls them just right, hitting your g-spot instantly. you moan against his tongue as jake follows his fingers, licking over heeseung’s hand as he drools all over them, dripping down past the back of his hand and over heeseung’s wrist. heeseung nearly chuckles at the action, knowing jake is a drooler, but continues his onslaught against your g-spot, prodding the spongy wall with his skillful fingers and rubbing your clit with his free thumb. the hand on your thigh grips harder, and the pain only further fuels your desire. your body tenses suddenly, an orgasm about to crash into you.

heeseung smirks as your lips stop moving against his, eyes fluttering open to watch you come undone on jake’s mouth and his fingers. “go ahead, princess.” at the sound of his permission your orgasm hits, body seizing as you stare at heeseung, eyes rolling back as cum gushes out of you, onto heeseung’s fingers. jake never ceases his actions, slurping and licking still as cum coats his face, still incessantly humping the floor. you reach down and attempt to push jake away, heeseung uses his hand that was on your thigh before to grab your wrist, halting your actions before bringing it to his own clothed, neglected cock. he removes his fingers from your pussy, reaching up and shoving them harshly past your slightly parted lips. you suck on them instantly, eyes fluttering open as your thighs shut around jake’s head. your tongue swirls around in tandem with jake’s, not halting his actions as your legs clamp his head in place, doing the exact opposite of what you need right now, eyes brimming with tears from the overstimulation.

“you can take it,” heeseung tells you, “take it, baby. let jakey make you feel good.”

more drool and cum dribble down jake’s face, surely making a stain in the floor that heeseung will clean in the morning. his dick is impossibly hard in his sweats, begging to be released, yet he continues licking and sucking and prodding into your already spent pussy.

heeseung smiles at the tears that are now streaming down your cheeks, removing his fingers from your mouth after you’ve sucked them clean of any fluid. he smacks your clit with the wet digits, your body jumping at the action. he chuckles at your reaction to the pain. heeseung thinks you look so beautiful like this, writhing and squirming under jake’s tongue, wetness sliding down your cheeks and landing on your t-shirt. he loves seeing you lose control under him and jake.

“jakey,” jake doesn’t respond, and heeseung moves his stare down to the boy between your legs. “jake.” he repeats, opting to grab a handful of his hair and yank him off of you, your back falling onto the bed once no hands are on you.

jake tries to lean back in, and heeseung is marveled once again by how absolutely pussy drunk jake is right now. heeseung knows jake would eat you out for hours if given the chance, never halting his actions even when you cry and beg for mercy. heeseung thinks jake would live with his head between your legs, if only you’d let him. little does he know if you could, you’d let him settle in there for all of eternity.

jake’s gaze moves up to heeseung, loving the pain in his scalp that comes with the harsh tug of his brown hair.

“you best remember who’s in charge here, puppy.”

his warning sends a shiver down jake’s spine, nodding incessantly in order to please heeseung, jake only ever wanting to be a good boy for him, and for you.

“get up on the bed,” heeseung lets go of jake’s hair, pulling away to take his own shirt off and toss it somewhere in the room. jake obeys instantly, sitting on his knees next to your lying down figure. jake leans down and plants a single kiss on your cheek, his plush lips soaking up a few tears still sitting on your skin. jake’s hands roam your body, grasping at your tits and fondling them in his large palms. heeseung watches intently, shedding himself of his basketball shorts and tugging upwards on his cock a few times. jake moves to straddle your waist, grinding down on your exposed cunt as he gropes at your boobs underneath the fabric of your shirt. he holds you up in order to take off your shirt quickly before returning his hold to your flesh, burying his head between them. you groan at the feeling as he begins to drool once more, rutting incessantly against your pussy, still fully clothed, sucking and licking and biting on your tits. he chases his own high, and heeseung can see how close he is. he holds back, watching as jake drools all over your upper body, loving the mess he makes before jake is stilling suddenly, cumming completely untouched inside his sweatpants. his head never once rises from your chest, slobbering everywhere and leaving no expanse of skin untouched by his tongue and full lips. you think he looks adorable, becoming drunk on loving you right after being pried up from between your legs, where he was pussy drunk not even moments before.

heeseung lets go of his hard dick, watching as jake never even feels an ounce of shame for cumming in his pants like a teenage boy, continuing to drool everywhere. you coo at him, holding his cheek in your hand before pulling him up into a sloppy, warm kiss. spit spills from the corner of his mouth as your capture his velvety lips in your own, slipping your hand beneath his pants and grasping at the base of his cock, stroking upward with a quick tug. jake whimpers, and you push further against his mouth, shoving your tongue past his lips as you continue to overstimulate him from two points.

“what a needy puppy we have here, y/n.”

you nod, pulling away from jake to stare into his blown out pupils, “such a needy boy, isn’t that right baby?”

jake nods intently, “so needy,” he whimpers, practically already fully hard again from your constant strokes of his overstimulated dick.

heeseung lowers himself onto the bed, lying back against the pillows perched against the headboard. “take off your pants and come here, jakey.” jake pulls away from you, tugging his pants and boxers off before coming to sit on heeseung’s thighs, staring down at his boyfriend casually resting against the pillows. you crawl over to sit beside the two of them, arousal growing between your legs once more at the thought of being able to watch again. “i’ll take care of you, puppy.”

heeseung surrounds both of their dicks in one hand, beginning to jerk the two of them off at once. you groan at the sight, reaching over to tug jake’s shirt up and over his head. you toss it aside, taking one of jake’s nipples between your fingers and pinching harshly.

“ah— y/n—” he gasps out between needy pants, never tearing his eyes from where heeseung holds both of them in his hand. “more— please more—”

you shake your hand, snaking your other hand down your body, drawing lazy counter clockwise circles against your clit. “you’ll take what i give you, baby boy. got it?”

he nods with earnest, moaning loudly and mumbling incomprehensible words.

you continue tweaking his nipple between your fingers, eyes returning to the show in front of you. you reach forward, licking from base to tip right where their cocks meet. heeseung moans loudly, stirring an equally as desperate moan to slip from jake’s bitten lips. you reach beneath them to grasp heeseung’s balls, squeezing them lightly and watching for his reaction, pleased when he groans and dips his head back, eyes fluttering shut.

“so sensitive, hmm, heeseung?”

“watch who you’re talking to.”

your pussy drips as you abuse it further, dipping your hand between your folds before smearing your arousal on both of their dicks. jake lurches forward at the sight, letting out a tiny “fuck—” that affects both you and heeseung. jake’s reaction stirs something in you, patience giving way, despite the enjoyment you derive from simply watching. you need to feel full, and you need to feel full now.

heeseung’s eyes flick over from his hand to your face, shaking his head, “god, you’re a fucking menace. you’re gonna get it, you know?”

you nod, knowing your punishment would arise soon enough, not caring enough as you whine out to no one in particular, “need you inside,” you grab heeseung’s hand to halt his movements. heeseung lets your interruption slide, letting go of his grasp on his and jake’s cocks before sitting up, tugging you with him. he pushes jake to lie down, “flip around,” he instructs, to which jake instantly obeys.

heeseung picks you up and manhandles you down onto jake’s rock hard length. you hiss at the pain mixing with the pleasure, loving when heeseung uses you and jake to make each other feel good. you love relinquishing control to him, and jake loves it doubly so, allowing the two of you to boss him around like a toy, knowing he’ll always get his release if he’s a good boy for you both. jake groans at the feeling of your walls suck him right in, “fuck- so fucking tight-” he pants, “oh my god—” he glances up at heeseung, tongue lolling out as his brain shortcircuits from the feeling of your pretty pussy that he loves oh so desperately fluttering around his length, drool slipping out of the corners of his mouth as he pants.

“god, just as tight as the day you met her, isn’t she, jake?” heeseung degrades you, shoving you down to lay against jake’s chest before inserting three fingers alongside jake’s dick, pumping in and out to prep you minimally as his other hand continues to yank you up and down along jake’s aching length. you fall further onto jake at the intrusion, “tight like a fucking virgin even after having two dicks to stretch her out, isn’t that right? our baby’s just a needy slut, jakey, taking all that we give her.”

you nod profusely, open mouth panting against jake’s chest as he squeezes his eyes shut. heeseung grips your hips, prodding his tip inside with a tight stretch that reverberates through your body. jake holds your hip gently trying to ground you before taking his second hand and shoving two fingers into your mouth. “greedy y/n,” he whispers between his own pants and gasps as heeseung pushes further, relishing in the feeling of your walls paired with his boyfriend’s cock sliding in alongside his own.

“too fucked out to even speak, hmm?” heeseung pulls all the way out, leaving just the tip in before sheathing himself in you to the hilt, the three of you all groaning at the action. your mind begins to feel fuzzy, unable to focus on anything as you continue to swirl your tongue around jake’s fingers as if it were his dick down your throat, shoving deeper and deeper until you gag and spit dribbles around them. heeseung can feel jake’s cock twitch at the sight, knowing your boyfriend loves it absolutely filthy and messy. “she can take it,” heeseung assures jake who continues his assault on your mouth as heeseung continues to rail into you, balls slapping against your ass as you squeeze tightly around he and jake’s lengths. heeseung reaches over you, shoving a thumb into jake’s mouth, who mimics your actions of sucking on the finger diligently. after getting it sufficiently wet enough, heeseung snakes down to reach your clit, beginning his relentless assault on the hard bud. you clench around him with his action, “fuck, your pussy is a dream. bet you’d love to be stuffed full twenty four-seven, never a moment without a cock inside one of your holes.”

“god, you’d love that so much��� i’d never leave you alone, between jake and i, we’d keep you plugged up all hours of the day.” heeseung rambles, more for his own desire than either of yours, knowing both of you are nearly gone. the thought of stuffing you full every hour of every day making his need grow further. “fuck, my perfect girl. this pussy was made to take us, wasn’t it? made to be a fucktoy for jake and i—” heeseung’s eyes flutter shut at a particularly tight drag of your walls and jake’s sticky dick against his own, “one cock will never be enough for you, pretty girl, will it? you’re absolutely insatiable.”

“eugh—” you mumble around jake’s fingers, mind going numb as heeseung fucks you out of your own brain. jake’s beginning to tumble into the same space, and heeseung smiles as he watches jake’s eyes cross from a pointedly sharp shove back into your pussy. jake can feel their tips touch inside, the realization wholly erotic to him and spurring him further into a liminal space where only you and him and heeseung exist, and nothing exists but the pleasure and pain that heeseung provides. “both of you take me so well, my sweetest angels, always needing heeseung to help you cum. so desperate for my cock, you’d do anything for it, wouldn’t you?” heeseung chuckles lowly, glancing between the two of you, fucked out of your minds and unable to even move on your own, the degradation mixed with praise barely registering in your mind. “two cock drunk little whores i’ve got here, hmm?” jake nods, not sure what he’s agreeing to, just hoping to please heeseung.

“‘m gonna c-cum—” jake sputters, looking to heeseung for permission. “almost there, pup, just a little more—” heeseung continues his assault, his thrusts slowly moving you higher up on jake’s chest until he tugs you back down, burying jake’s dick all the way to the hilt once more. “f-fuck— hee— i c-can’t—” jake stumbles out, the pressure building in his tummy as his orgasm threatens to spill.

“yes you can, and you will.” his tone leaves no room for disagreement. he notices the tells from your body, knowing you’re still gagging on jake’s fingers below, your hands grasping jake’s biceps as you brace yourself to cum. heeseung pinches your clit, and that breaks the dam, fluid rushing out of you all at once. heeseung watches as it gushes out of you, grabbing jake’s chin and tilting it up first and ordering him to open, before spitting inside the cavern of jake’s mouth. he closes jake’s jaw to make him swallow, which he does with a loud moan that heeseung feels vibrate against his hand. he directs jake’s head down now for him to watch, too. jake groans once more, long and drawn out at the sight of you squirting. “heeseung, please—” he whimpers.

“go ahead puppy,” jake cums, a long burst and heeseung thinks jake’s never cum this much in his whole life. heeseung persists with his thrusts, never once stopping even as you cry out from around jake’s fingers, on another plane of existence entirely but still able to feel the way your cunt begs for mercy. he watches as he pushes jake’s cum back inside of you, ramming deep into your cervix. tears leak out the sides of your eyes, the sounds escaping your mouth indicating the same. jake withstands the oversensitivity of his cockhead as heeseung makes a point to drag against it with every push and pull of his own dick. “god, and now you’re crying? pathetic. you’re getting what you wanted, dumb slut. take what i give you.”

“jake, turn her head towards me,” jake obeys, and the sight of your cheeks covered in wet tears and your mouth still stuffed full of two of jake’s huge fingers makes heeseung cum on the spot, shooting deep inside you. he doesn’t move until he’s fully spent, and even then he sits still within you. jake begins to pull out and heeseung allows him, seeing the boy about to slip fully into a subspace from the entire overwhelming experience.

heeseung thrusts a few times back into you for good measure, watching the combination of everyone’s fluids slipping out of your gaping hole, sliding down his base and onto his balls. he groans, slowly pulling out before taking his fingers and shoving it all back inside. “gonna keep you plugged full til you’re pregnant, angel. would look so good with our babies in you. swelled up belly and you’d still be able to take us both at once.” he presses kisses all over the expanse of your back slowly, the sweet action contrasting the next words to leave his mouth, “naughty angel disobeyed heeseung, so this is her punishment.”

you’re beginning to somewhat return to this realm, pulling off of jake’s completely spit covered fingers and looking back at heeseung, “‘m not naughty,” you pathetically whimper, pulling a smirk onto heeseung’s face in response. “yes you are angel, touching without permission, getting me all worked up when you know i was loving on our puppy and trying to make him feel good.” heeseung removes his fingers from where he has you plugged up, shoving the fingers into jake’s mouth. even when he’s subbed out, he sucks diligently, slurping up the mix of everyone’s fluids until heeseung’s fingers are clean. “you took your punishment well, my bratty girl. and you make our puppy and heeseung cum.”

without heeseung’s hands to hold you up, you fall down away from jake, leaving room for heeseung to lie in the middle. he steps into the bathroom and wets a cloth, returning with it to clean the two of you up. he wipes the drool from both you and jake, cleaning faces and stomachs and inner thighs and fingers and any other place jake, or you, had dribbled spit onto. he’s gentle when wiping you, and especially delicate when cleaning jake’s now soft dick. if he left that cum inside you any longer, the minute jake regained his senses he’d be diving in headfirst to suck the mixture right out of your abused hole.

“my two beautiful angels, you did so well my babies.” he places a kiss on each of your foreheads before tossing the cloth in the hamper in the corner of the room. heeseung takes his place between the two of you, and you curl in to cling onto him in your post orgasm haze. “‘m so tired,” you mumble, laying your head against his chest. jake has his back to the two of you, and heeseung wraps a hand around his waist, splaying his hand against his lower abdomen.

“hee—” jake calls as he’s slowly recovering from the subdrop. “yes, baby?”

“i love you,” jake mumbles, bringing heeseung’s hand up to his mouth to pepper it with kisses.

he replies honestly, without a second though, “i love you too, jakey,” he rubs against your shoulder, lulling you further into dreamland, “my well behaved boy, did so well for me puppy.”

the praise seems to settle into the nooks and crannies of his brain, saving the phrase among all the other memories of when heeseung has reassured him. that he loves him just as much as you, that him being added into you and heeseung’s relationship did not make him any less loved. and jake never hesitates to express the same sentiment to you, knowing how inside your own head you can get sometimes. heeseung turns his head towards you, who will knock out shortly after settling your head further against his pectoral.

“did well for me, pretty girl,” he presses a kiss to the side of your head, pulling you closer with the strong arm that’s wrapped around your shoulders. “such a good girl, i love you.”

it’s left unsaid, but you love heeseung, and you love jake. heeseung adores the pair of you, the two of you constantly keeping his hands full. and jake’s heart swells knowing that he has two people in this world that love him unconditionally.

[multicohn]

summary: while waiting for the outcome of qualifying, the cameras capture a precious moment between yuki and his girlfriend

warnings: none

pairing: fem! reader x yuki tsunoda

genre: drabble, fluff, short smau at the end

author note: i swear i have other drivers in my drafts but i just love yuki 😭😭

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

y/n didn’t attend many of yuki’s races because of her studies. he didn’t mind, but would get rather giddy upon having her with him. people suspected that yuki is in a relationship, but they lack proper proof. y/n didn’t really care if they went public, yuki would most likely go all keyboard warrior if someone disrespected her or their relationship ��� she feels bad for his manager who will have to face the consequences of yuki’s future actions.

“hey” yuki pressed a kiss to her cheeks as y/n typed away on her laptop

she had decided on staying in hospitality while yuki raced for three reasons: not to distract him, to do her course work, and worry in peace.

“you almost done?” qualifying has been delayed due to the rain, which frustrated y/n as the internet was absolutely trash

“just gotta some stuff, why?”

“wanna come down to the garage? i’m bored and the rain doesn’t look like it’ll clear up soon” y/n shrugged, she didn’t have any reason to deny his request

yuki smiled brightly and went to grab his jacket while y/n packed up. she softly laced her fingers with his together before they made their way back to the garage.

the vcarb crew members knew that y/n is someone important to their driver, but seeing them holding hands made everyone in his garage do a double take.

“where do you want to sit?” y/n looked around silently before plopping down onto the ground

“it’s cold!” she exclaimed immediately making yuki laugh

“of course it’s going to be cold” he playfully rolled his eyes before sitting down

y/n opened her laptop and started where she left off while yuki busied himself by talking with his race engineer.

“i’ll leave you two alone for a bit” yuki glanced over at his girlfriend who was laser-focused on her work

he let out a small hum before leaning onto her shoulder, y/n instantly rested her own on top of his without taking her eyes off the screen.

“hey, that reminds me of a song” he pointed to the strange word in her document

“what’s it called?”

“i’ll sing it to you” he lifted his shoulder off her head and y/n momentarily took her eyes off the screen

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[thecosmicangel]

Do you feel you’re struggling with manifesting? Well here’s a manifesting rant + my experience & advice.

Hope you find it useful and helps you out 💗✨

You may not notice or realize but are you forcing things to happen? If you are too focused on "forcing" something to happen in the physical reality/3d it will just bring in more resistance & "blockages or delays", instead of trying to force the 3d to change or make it happen, focus on shifting your perspective, because if you are trying to make something happen or force it to happen it most likely means you still don't believe you have your manifestation & you don't believe in your power to make things happen. I must admit that when I was beginning loa and using affirmations I would affirm for hours expecting myself to get instant results ( I was forcing myself to see & make things change in the 3d through affirmations). I was thinking that the affirmations were going to bring me the manifestation but then I would see no proof or movement show up for me which would make me think I didn't have my manifestation and that affirmations weren't working, but I realized affirmations aren't going to make anything happen if my mindset was still not changing. I would affirm for hours and then look for evidence or signs everywhere, which was me assuming I didn't have what I wanted. I was expecting instant results in the 3D when my mindset was the same & NOT changing yet. Affirmations are a helpful method to help you shift your mindset to believe in your assumptions & shift into desired reality. Its not that affirmations create your desired reality, it just helps reprogram your mind to change your perspective. If you catch yourself looking at the 3d to prove you right so you can then believe its possible or that it's already yours, you are not standing firm in your belief that you are the god of your reality and still giving the 3d more validation than yourself. If you truly believed in your manifestation being yours & that it is already done ,you would let go of the need to force a change in the 3d / validation from the 3D. Trust that eventually with repeating your affirmations you will get to the point where you believe what you are affirming, you will also understand that you are the operant power & the only change you need to focus on is your mind, your affirmations will become your dominant thoughts and will start to reflect back to the 3D= you experiencing your manifestation in the physical reality.

Now I don't mean to discourage anyone because we are experiencing the human experience and it's normal to experience sadness, anxiety, anger, or be impatient. Whenever you catch yourself thinking from lack, having negative thoughts, doubts, fears or looking outside of yourself for validation remember to take back your power and remind yourself of your power as the god of your reality. Affirm that everything you want is already yours. Be gentle and patient with yourself, even though things can happen instantly & overnight it is also normal for it to take some time to see the inner change manifest into the outer world. All you have to focus on is thinking in your favor and making sure your thoughts are in line with the new story & stop giving power/attention to the old story or thoughts that are not in line with what you want.

Time is simply an illusion because as humans we experience things in a logical sense or pattern, look at time as a way of measuring a set of pictures in motion. Think of it as if we didn’t experience time everything would be like watching a fast forward video on a loop and eventually you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from the beginning, middle or end it would all just become a loop of pictures playing at a very fast speed and eventually the picture wouldn’t even be visible. The subconscious mind doesn't experience time, it is able to experience everything now that is why we are able to use our imagination. Tapping into the quantum field where infinite realities is possible with imagination. Think about it, whatever you want to imagine you could do so in this instant. Now i want you to imagine that you are in planet mars and it's snowing pink snow and you see a purple elephant walking in front of you. Did you imagine it? well you experienced that instantly as soon as you read it right? Well that's exactly what we mean when we say if you want validation go to your imagination/4d because the scene I described exist in the moment you imagined it you experienced by seeing it in your inner eye, you would only have to saturate your mind to believe you are there now and eventually you would see it in the physical form. Now some may say " well that's impossible because there's no way a purple elephant is in mars and its snowing pink snow" well that's not going to be possible for you if you have all those limiting beliefs, but if you were able to imagine it its very possible & real. Now some people may say " well its hard for me to visualize" well stop assuming that its hard. Start practicing visualization, start with small things and eventually work your self up to be able to visualize & be in your imagination with more ease.

Now let’s talk about dreaming, we all have dreams when we sleep right? Some dreams we don’t remember but we do most of them. I personally believe that dreams are our subconscious mind traveling to different dimensions or parallel realities, some dreams are more based on our subconscious programming, that is why you may dream of things you have been watching or hearing because our subconscious mind picks up on everything & our dreams are just a recollection of everything stored in our subconscious minds. Nightmares are just subconscious fears. Our subconscious mind is always telling us a story through our dreams about our deep beliefs or simply giving us glimpses of many infinite realities. This is why some dreams could seem prophetic because we get to travel different dimensions/ realities in our dreams. Lucid dreaming is when you become aware that you are dreaming which allows you to take control of your dream. Which is the same as real life, once you realize you are the god of your reality you are able to take control of your life and manifest what you want ( you are no longer sleeping on the fact of your power & who you are). Lucid dreaming can also be used as a portal to be able to astral project which is were your astral body is able to leave your physical body and you are able to go anywhere in the astral realm. The astral realm I would compare to our imagination/ 4D, where you can encounter other entities, spirits and things not visible to our naked eye. Now you see how you’re able to dream, lucid & astral project where so many things happen & time wasn’t a concern. Another phenomenon you hear so many stories of is people who go into comas for years and they wake up and say they remember the day before so for them time didn’t happen they simply woke up the next day, or some of them wake up and say they had a whole life while they were in a coma and wake up shocked that it wasn’t “real”. People are amazed at how such thing is possible but it may all be due to their subconscious being impacted due to accident/ trauma that put them in a coma which shifted them into a different reality, when they wake up from the coma they shift back to the reality they were in before the coma. (Now I have gone into a rant about dreams and parallel realities etc, so you may be like what’s your point? My point is that time is AN ILLUSION & that parallel infinite realities exist and we are always experiencing & have direct access to the quantum field everyday in our sleep/ meditative state, so why do you not believe that you are able to shift into your desired reality? Or rely so much on logic? Or just having doubts that affirmations aren’t working or doubting the law? The power of the subconscious mind is so big some can’t even comprehend how powerful it is!)

Now back to manifesting; A tip I would suggest is to meditate or take some time to pay attention to your thoughts or what your current beliefs are when you are not affirming, pay attention to any limiting beliefs, fears or doubts and why you have them. Once you catch these thoughts, replace those thoughts with the opposite affirmation , so for example if your manifesting an SP and you catch yourself thinking " what if he's with someone else" , " he's too busy to text me" or " what if it doesn't work out" make the affirmation " he only has eyes for me, he only wants me" ,"he always makes time for me, I am his top priority" , “everything is always working out in my favor all the time and things are better than I could ever imagine”. Stop worrying about the what ifs instead change your perspective to “ what if everything works out exactly or even better than I can imagine. " or affirm that you do not have any doubts about whatever it’s is you want. Basically for any negative thought simply replace it with the opposing thoughts that aids your new story.

Now remember even though you don't see movement in the 3d, trust that things are moving in your favor. Affirmations are a helpful method to shift your mindset in your favor, and helping you remove all limiting beliefs. Something that helped me realize I had my manifestations all along was that we are not "trying to get" our manifestation, what we are doing is removing all the limiting programming. We already have everything we want but the limiting beliefs, fears and doubts are in the way, giving off the illusion of lack. Fear is simply (False Evidence Appearing Real). Limiting perspective/ beliefs are obstructing our awareness that we already have our desires. We are already experiencing the life we want but we haven’t caught up to that moment yet in the 3D.

As always remember the power is in you, what you give your power/ awareness to becomes the dominant thoughts, which become your reality. So if you are seeing things that you don't want remember you gave it the power to become so, or it's simply just old programming playing out. The 3d, ego and time are always the last to the party. When you begin to reprogram your mind it might seem like all of the sudden opposing thoughts, fears and doubts begin to fill your mind but this is simply the ego trying to hold on to the old story, the ego is always trying to protect itself because it is scared of "dying"/change so it will do anything to protect you. The ego is aware of the internal change, it knows that what it knew & was familiar with is dying out so it goes into panic mode & fights for its survival. Just reassure yourself everything is fine, there is no reason to be scared and simply continue to feed into the new story that you want.

⚡️work on regulating your nervous system, there is tons of videos on YouTube with nervous system regulation meditations, and breathing techniques. I usually do this every Sunday to reset & regulate my nervous system, but you can also do this as needed if you are dealing with lots of anxiety.

⚡️Worrying/ doubting is giving power to the things you don’t want. ( as long as they are not your dominant thoughts they won’t manifest)

⚡️before I was able to receive my manifestation in the 3D I told myself to look at it as a movie , my desire was the end of the movie and everything in between was the unfolding / current reality / present moment. Even though I watched the ending only ( my assumption/ affirmations) I didn’t know how the movie was going to unfold. Even if the movie showed no clues or did not point at all to how it would it end, I already knew the ending of the movie so I wasn’t going to question it because I already saw the ending and knew it would happen for a fact. (If you are not seeing any movement, it doesn’t mean things aren’t happening for you, you will eventually be hit in the face with all your manifestation in full force).

⚡️From my experience I realized I had manifested my breakup with my sp, I realized I started to think of the worst scenarios, what could go wrong due to past relationships, I also started assuming that my sp was going to become distant and end things with me and that ended up happening. The same power I had to create the breakup was also the same power I had to bring us back together. When we were apart I realized how I had manifested/ created him to act the way he did whether for good or bad, this realization was shortly after I found the law of assumption. Sometimes it’s helpful to analyze or reflect back on how you have manifested previous things whether people/ money/ situations/ literally anything. It helps you become aware of your thoughts / beliefs or if certain methods helped more than others . For me I realized day dreaming or ( visualization ) is a strong method for me.

⚡️limit your loa, manifesting content to a few couple people. Too much information can lead you to feel lost or feel like you aren’t doing enough.

⚡️stick to a method / routine that works for you, you don’t have to try every single challenge or method. This implies you feel what you are doing isn’t enough or isn’t working.

⚡️you create your rules, you don’t have to stick to anyone’s rules, you don’t even have to take my advice you decide what you want to believe in or what you believe to work for you.

⚡️be patient with yourself!!!! Things can change in your favor at any moment now! If you are having a “bad day” and catch yourself spiraling, feeling anxious or everything is the opposite of what you are manifesting, simply give yourself some time to breathe and collect your thoughts, when you have ease down your nerves remind yourself that even with what you are being shown you can still change things because you are the god of your reality, nothing is impossible.

⚡️stop looking at the 3D for progress or proof!! Always go within.

-xoxo, the cosmic angel ⭐️🪽

[unholyhelbig]

https://www.tumblr.com/unholyhelbig/748001277238181888/ive-reread-the-entirety-of-oversight-again-and

i’ve done this as well. i think u should 😌😏😉☺️🥰

Title: Rose Colored Glasses [An Oversight Oneshot]

Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Reader gets word that Natasha is hurt and rushes home to assess the situation.

Warnings(PLEASE READ): injury to nose & foot, slight blood, and shrimp

[a/n: Did someone request more oversight? Because I've got you covered. This is pure fluff, sorry for the lack of angst! It's short, and sweet, and not proof read because I don't have time :( ]

Check out the full Oversight universe

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

A quiet house was never a good sign. Growing up in the foster care system teeming with other wards of the state had taught you that. Often, you were three or four to a room. There were bunk beds with sheets slotted against the ceiling or stuffed under the mattress above your own, just for some type of barrier. It was an illusion of privacy, most of the time. Because houses like that were never quiet.

When you’d moved in across from Darcy after your 18th birthday, things weren’t quiet. Above you was a Latin-American couple that would wait until just past midnight to turn on a slow, rhythmic song and dance. Their steps were soft, and calculated. They carved out time for one another every single night between shifts. Just for the two of them. You often let the thumping base lull you to sleep.

The city was just outside your window. In the summer, you could prop it open with a brick and let the sounds of cars become a backdrop. There were sirens, and when the fire hydrant on the corner was loosened, the world welcomed a cold blast of water, sprinkling into the street. That was the opposite of quiet. That made your chest feel light, and warm.

After marrying Natasha Romanoff, you settled into the loudness of her home. Your home. Veronica was constantly running around the twists and turns of the bottom floor, Clint or Kate or Darcy galloping after her with a big smile on their face. They slowed themselves to make sure they didn’t break anything, but they wanted her to win, too.

Yelena often came with the muffled sounds of Russian techno bands coming from the headphones around her neck. It was a staple to find her in the kitchen with her head down, slicing into an apple from the backyard with precision unknown. Natasha would tug the headphones off to get her attention, or to send her into annoyance.

The night that Natasha got hurt was stifled with the sound of rain. It had soaked you to the bone, dripping onto the linoleum floor and then the carpet as you ascended the stairs two at a time. You’d been at the docks later than usual, the storm that had plagued the side of the harbor was relentless and delayed shipments.

The captain of the shipping boat your family had utilized for decades wanted to discuss something over whatever crap coffee you could beat out of the machine in your office. He spoke with a thick southern drawl, his mustache was encrusted with salt and sand. You had shed your coat and tried to warm yourself up by hugging your mug to your chest. Nothing seemed to work.

While you weren’t opposed to giving the man a raise, you were not the final say. Natasha was, and you figured he could use the company more than anything. The captain flicked through books that were on the shelf, taking two or three for his next journey out to sea. It was like clockwork with him, and you indulged his need for quiet companionship each time.

When your phone rang, you never looked at the caller ID. Those who were privileged enough to get your number knew to talk without any of the pleasantries that they were used to. Clint’s voice came through the receiver in a smooth, hushed tone that made you believe he wasn’t supposed to be calling you in the first place.

“Look, y/n, there’s been an… incident.”

“What kind of incident?”

He was meant to escort her to one of the many cocktail parties that Carlos LaMuerto was throwing at his mansion that bordered the same body of water that you resided on now. They were lovely get-togethers that you often attended with your wife. This, however, was the fourth one this month and your stomach was turning at the idea of another cocktail shrimp and lamb pate.

Clint had offered, seeing the desperation in your eyes. And while Natasha was reluctant, she ultimately agreed. No news of a bust had reached you yet, nor had a gun blazing argument. While the Captain licked his dry lips and scanned the books in front of him, you continued in hushed tones.

“Nat’s hurt. It’s not a big deal, you can finish up your business. She’s just being stubborn is all.”

An escaped sigh “I’ll be there.”

No shit, she was being stubborn. Your wife was bull-headed and wouldn’t admit to the smallest defeat. It eased your nerves slightly, and only slightly, that Clint said it wasn’t a big deal. No gunshot to the back, or knife to the throat. It wasn’t good enough, however.

Natasha would be upset that you tracked mud into the house and left your boots sloshing by the door. You were panting by the time you reached the double doors that led to your bedroom. They were, of course, blocked by Clint and Kate. Yelena was leaning lazily against the railing that was parallel. She regarded you with an uninterested stare.

“You did not have to come here.” She said, “We’ve got it handled.”

“She kicked all of you out, didn’t she?”

“What? She certainly did not!”

Yelena’s voice pitched with her lie. Kate’s cheeks turned an off-shade of pink and Clint just rthe hallway, that was a good sign. Still, neither of the two moved to let you into your own room.

“If you’re not going to get out of the way, can you at least tell me what happened?”

There was a muffled reply from behind the door. With the way that the voice flitted, you knew that she was trapped on the bed. Otherwise, she would have leveled you with a glare right here and now. The words were simple “Do it, you die.”

“Oh, come on,” You whispered harshly, turning your attention to Kate instead. She was the easiest to break. “Katie, what is the harm in letting me through? I’m going to catch my death if I stay in these clothes.”

“Catch your death?” Clint scoffed “What are you? A poet from the 1800’s?”

“I’m about to be breaking your fingers if you don’t-“

“You can’t even break wind,”

The two of your voices combined as you kept at it. You didn’t’ miss the wary look that Kate shot Yelena. One way or another, you’d get into your room. You refused to be banished to the couch again, especially in wet clothes. If you had to threaten ruining the rugs with your muddy footprints, so be it.

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” You held up both of your hands, silencing the chaos of the corridor. “Nat, you are my wife, you’re hurt. Whether you like it or not, I’m coming in. Does anyone have any objections?”

Kate went to raise her hand, but Yelena yanked it back down and shook her head no. You tore into Clint with a look that could drop him dead. He relented and stepped away from the door. While you had a moment of peace, you walked into the dark of the room. She’d turned out the lights, save for the half-moon that showed a pale pattern against the carpet.

When you reached for the light switch on the wall, Natasha let out a noise that was similar to a wounded animal. You halted, your actions and made out her form on the bed. She was folded in on herself, her silhouette rigid.

“Baby,” you cooed, closing the distance between you and the bed. She grunted again, this time in pain. She attempted to turn away from you. You lowered yourself onto the sliver of bed, approaching the situation softly. “Can I turn on a light?”

“No, I’m hideous.”

You chuckled softly “I highly doubt that, my love. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Natasha had never liked being vulnerable around you. It had taken a full weekend of you nursing her back to her feet after the incident on the pier for her to let herself cry. You held her for hours, her nose pressed against the small of your neck. She’d gripped onto you, as if you’d leave. But you never would.

Eventually, you saw her shadow nod. Before she could change her mind, you flicked on the lamp on the side table. It didn’t’ have a far reach, but the light was less harsh on the both of you. It was impossible not to notice the blood that had dried against Natasha’s nose, a split right down the middle.

You’d seen her with broken bones before, bruises that wrapped around her midsection. You’d put ace bandage around her ribs after drawing her a bath. This was nothing to be ashamed about. In fact, she often saw them as battle scars that would heal in a pink gash.

Her foot was wrapped up with a bag of peas and one of frozen carrots that Clint, or even Yelena had situated. There was bruising around her ankle, it looked painful and you internally winced at the coloring. She groaned into the small of her elbow.

“I want to die”

“Natty, it’s okay. This is nothing a cozy weekend inside can’t fix.”

She said something that was quiet and muffled by her arm. You didn’t understand her one bit, but she squeezed a single tear from her eye that you wiped away dutifully before it could reach the silk of sheets.

“What was that, baby?” You asked gently.

She threw both of her hands down and glared at the ceiling. Her fingers eventually found yours, squeezing your palm in reflex. Her words came out in a quick breath, “I tripped over a carpet at the stupid dinner party and hit my face on the catering table.”

You were effectively silenced. That was very un-Natasha. But lately, you and Clint had been pestering her about her eyesight, especially at night. It wasn’t something she wanted to hear. In fact, each time you brought up the idea of glasses, she would effectively silence you with a glare, or even a kick to the shin under the kitchen table if you had company.

You bit the inside of your cheek and ran your thumb over her hand. She clutched your hand tighter. Now was certainly not the time to laugh, and while you fought back the initial giggle, you were more concerned about your wife.

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“I bet you got right back up.” You said, pressing your palm against her cheek. “None of those fancy party types would dare question your influence on this city.”

“Shrimp went flying everywhere.” Natasha pouted.

“Everyone was tired of shrimp anyway, even the shrimp.”

She grasped at the collar of your jacket and pulled you closer to her, pressing her lips against your own. They were warm, the warmest thing that you’ve felt since getting caught in the passing storm. You were careful not to lean on her ribs, breathing in the rosewater scent of her.

Natasha pressed her forehead against yours, running a hand up your spine. She grimaced. “You’re all wet.”

“Well now I am,” You smirked against her jawline, leaving a little nip in your wake. “You need to get glasses.”

“Don’t change the subject. You’re getting the sheets all damp, and you smell like fish.”

“I smell like fish?” You giggled, pressing a kiss to the exposed part of her neck. You felt Natasha laugh too, using her hands to cover her face from the blush that was blooming against her cheeks. “We’re talking about me?”

She laughed harder, attempting to shove you off but you let your body go slack against her, not using your arms to hold yourself up anymore. “Yes! Go shower!”

“Mm, but you’re so warm.”

“You’re not going to be warm if I make you sleep on the couch.”

You gasped dramatically, pulling your head off her stomach and meeting her dark green stare. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me. After the day I’ve had, I refuse to sleep next to my wife when she smells like a marina.”

Even while she said it, her voice was gentle, her fingers working over your scalp to brush the wet hair from your eyes. You pulled yourself up to give her another peck on the lips, careful to avoid the split nose and busted ankle.

“Fine, but only because you need more aspirin.”

She grunted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Can’t believe I let you through my defenses.”

“Uh-huh. Get some rest. I’m going to go talk to your defenses about getting you an appointment with an optometrist.”

You turned to move towards the bathroom, already craving the warmth of a shower and some clean pajamas. Two steps from the doorway and you felt a plush throw pillow hit you directly on the back of the head. Natasha had amazing aim, always had, and always would.

You bent down and picked up the gold upholstered pillow, giving her a faux glare. “You’re not getting this back.”

“Oh, come on, baby.” She stuck out her lower lip “I have to prop up my foot.”

“You should have thought of that before you launched it at my head.”

 [Taglist🕷♡: @dumbasslesbi, @lostremind, @toouncreativeforausername @autorasexy @eringranola @mikookaaaaaao @marvelwoman-simp @pacmanmiles @mostlymarvelsstuff, @mrsrushman, @milfsandtittyenthusiast, @random-raccoon4, @ravenromanova, @mysticalmoonlight7, @ahintofchaos@cowboyboots236 @lissaaaa145, @natsxwife@a-spes, @kyleeservopoulos]

[starryhutcherson]

hii, hru?

i have an idea for another clapton davis one shot:)

what if the reader is an spanish girl and she help clapton with his spanish homework but one thing led to another and yk it ends in smut

- 🫧

━━ NO HABLO ESPAÑOL

'୧ ‧₊ pairing: clapton davis x spanish-speaking!reader warnings: 18+ sexual content! oral sex (m!recieving), come swallowing, mentions of p in v, swearing, google translated spanish word count: 3300+ ⋆ ✩‧₊

Clapton’s bedroom is drowned in the drowsiness of a late-afternoon heat; the sunshine bleeds against his scattered memorabilia, stretching beams across the floor and illuminating the entire space in a picturesque light. It’s hot, too hot — sweat settles on your starfished body as you lie sprawled atop his carpet, surrounded by stationery and permanently tainted with a subtle flush of rose. 

Initially, he’d intended for this to be no more than a harmless study session — he was god awful at spanish, and you were a fluent speaker. You just happened to be unfathomably drop-dead gorgeous. It was pure coincidence, of course it was. 

He’d erupted in an animated grin when you’d agreed to help him, teeth gleaming in a wide display of genuine gratitude – he wasn’t entirely sure of the appeal of helping your friendly-but-not-a-friend classmate with their spanish homework, especially due to his apparent lack of intelligence — but you agreed all the same. You had your reasons, even if he didn’t know them. 

What he does know is that he’s struggling. With the Spanish, sure, though that wasn’t much of a surprise — he’s also struggling not to seize hold of you, hands splayed against your skin, taking you right here on this fucking carpet. The eye contact you’re maintaining is dangerous; that damn cloying smile, those saccharine sentences – the impact it has on Clapton is enough to shatter bullet proof glass and he’s not sure he'll be able to rope his caveman brain out of the gutter. Your voice is so sweet he swears it’ll give him cavities. 

“Alright, translate this one. Tomé al autobús.”

His forehead creases with concentration, trying to focus on the meaning of your words, and not the simmering spike of dry heat that spirals in his throat and his crotch. He narrows his eyes, inhaling a breath as if about to answer, but after a delayed moment all that escapes is a dejected huff.

“I got nothing.”

You tut at him disappointedly. “C’mon. We just did this one.”

He tries to think back, but it’s hard to cast his mind to one single moment with you, because every minute seems to blur hopelessly into the next one. Concentration is impossible when you’re this close to him, when he can hear every breath of yours like they’re his own, when his head is full of filthy fabrications in which your velveteen voice screeches while he slams into your g-spot with lethal precision. 

Get a grip. He swallows around the presence of nothing and tries to hold the crumbling pieces of his facade together. 

It isn’t working. 

“Uh, no we didn’t,” he teases slyly, attempting to reach for your own sheet, which is already full with all the answers. You snatch it away from his desperate hand, swatting his palm for emphasis. The desultory touch shouldn’t mean as much as it does. 

“Yes. We did. C’mon. I’ll give you a hint— bus.”

He does light up with a fraction of recognition. “Oh, shit, yeah. I got it, it’s uh— I’m gonna take the bus?”

You let out another dissatisfied hum. “Not quite. It’s I took the bus. Past tense.”

He rolls over onto his back with a tediously drawn out groan. “That’s like, the exact same thing, c’mon.”

“Uh, no it isn't. If someone asked you how you got home, you’d say “I took the bus,” not, “I’m taking the bus.” You taunt, a mocking twinkle in your eye that renders his body weak with desire. 

“Uh, actually I wouldn’t say either, because I get home by car.”

With mild amusement you roll your eyes, and Clapton’s head wanders yet again, to venereal visions where that eye roll is taken far out of context — right now, spanish isn’t the only thing that’s hard.

“These entire sentences are too hard to translate. Just gimme some words.” 

You scoff at his swift abandon, but you do oblige, reaching across yourself to grab the standard textbook for the grade, idly flipping through a few pages before finding something you deem to be his level. 

It’s a basic configuration of nouns, English situated on one side of the page and Spanish on the other; the lists are out of order and the goal is to match up each pair with the correct translation. You figure with a bit of your help, it’ll be easy enough. 

“Here,” you say, handing him the textbook. He hauls himself back to his prior position on his stomach, snatching a pen, examining the page, and then staring back up at you blankly. 

“C’mon, what am I, a kindergartener?”

You snort, shuffling marginally closer to him so that your shoulders just barely collide. The contact is faint, sure, but it’s enough to make his mind warp. Maybe his desire for you isn’t so one-dimensional. 

“I know it looks easy, but it’s about the words, Clapton, not the activity.” 

“Well it’s dumb. I liked the other stuff better.”

“You asked for this. Start matching.” 

He glares at you through narrow eyes, a semblance of their hazel hue present through the gap in his lowered eyelids — the irritation doesn’t last long. Not when his gaze meets yours and he can feel the gentle wash of your breath against his lips, dainty and dangerous simultaneously. He’d swallow it if he could; preserve the very flavor of your exhales straight from your lips to his. 

An obvious spill of crimson fragments blossoms against the dermis of his cheeks, every moment he spends around you is like being bathed in incandescence, like being roasted from the inside out. He’s a moth and you are a painfully hot flame. 

His eyes stray downwards in a weak attempt to hide his blush, grumbling to himself before beginning the work. He makes it through one and a half questions before he inevitably gives up for the second time. 

“This is too hard,” he admits. 

"Thought it was for kindergartners." You chuckle, to which he mumbles a low, "Shut up."

A measly moment passes before he's hit with an idea. "Let me test you."

"Seriously? You know I'm fluent. That'd be like me testing you on English."

He chuckles to himself, the smug sound leeches to the atmosphere and sends a fresh swarm of butterflies to thrash amidst your stomach lining. He’s too tantalizing for his own good, he’s your forbidden fruit. You’d love a taste. 

“Pretty confident then, huh?” 

The delicate development of his smirk doesn’t go unnoticed by you; it’s hot, the way his bottom teeth are just partially visible by the action, the way his eyes glitter with the promise of a challenge and his demeanor is altered from defeated to determined in one brief snapshot of a moment. 

“Seeing as I’ve grown up speaking Spanish, uh, yeah. I’d say I’ve probably got this in the bag.” 

His grin flourishes exponentially. “We’ll see about that.”

✩‧₊˚

Four minutes later, Clapton’s master plan at veering the pair of you away from doing the work is proven to be pointless — his assumption in which he could find some big word to stump you was dismissed after witnessing your effortless answers. 

“Sun?” “Are you kidding? Sol.”

He glances up from the textbook, where all of the answers are, huffing a little and searching for something more difficult. 

“Gimme something harder.” He can think of something harder. 

“Okay, okay. Uh… dance?” 

“Bailar,” you say, rolling the ‘r’ with a tantalizing flick of your tongue and he’s sure that by now the tightness in his jeans is obnoxiously prominent. “Seriously, these are so easy.”

“Okay, full sentence: “I’m gonna buy a coffee.”

“Hmmm… let me think,” you say mockingly, and he almost believes he’s got you until you answer with a mirthless chuckle: “Voy a comprar un cafe.”

A dull ache burns in his pants, even the most mundane sentences sound sultry when you use that tone. That fucking tone. He’s still minutely annoyed that you answered his questions with ease, but what did he expect, really? This was your language. 

“These are the simplest questions ever. You really underestimate me.” 

He snorts at this. It was impossible to underestimate somebody like you. He knows that much. 

“I don’t. Trust me.”

A sideways glance, a furrowed brow. You seem to dismiss the comment – it looks that way to him, at least. He’s unaware of the internal screams that loop in your head, cacophonous to the drill of your pounding heartbeat. He really knows how to throw you off your game, after all. 

He clears his throat at the lack of response, endearing albeit the awkwardness. “What even are these words anyway? They don’t even sound anything like the Engish version. I mean— Patio-day-jaygoes?” He flicks his eyes over some of the words in the textbook; his over emphasized, americanized interpretation of the syllables makes you chuckle. 

“Patio de juegos. It means playground— and I already told you that ‘j’ in spanish is pronounced like ‘h’ in english. Y’know. Heart. Hat. Hole.” 

“Doesn’t make any fucking sense. Like, look at this– Zapaytoes?”

“Zapatos. Shoes.”

“Days-fil-e?”

“Desfile. Parade. You really do suck at this.” He scoffs, but you can see the humor buried beneath his irritated disposition. “I told you that like a thousand times. Bay-so?”

“Beso. Kiss.”

Shit. He can feel the color prick his cheeks before your words even truly compute with him. There shouldn’t be any meaning behind them; just a simple definition. No hidden feeling lurking beneath your shallow translation. 

Right? 

Wrong. 

He has an idea. He wants to be cocky. Every single splintered thought is you, you, you, and he feels like if an opportunity presents itself he’d be an idiot not to take it. He wasn’t going to be an idiot. Not today. Not with you. 

“Oh. So… just out of, y’know, curiosity… how would you say, ‘I want a kiss?’”

His ulterior motives soar above your head – you’re so ingrained in helping him that you fail to recognise his confident grin. 

“Puedo tener un beso.” You reply, eyes combing through the familiar words etched against the textbook pages, completely oblivious. A beat of silence falls, a second of hesitation, before he goes in for it.

“Si, si. Uh… si puedes. ” Yes you can. He grins, clearly a little proud of himself.

If you’re being honest, it’s pretty cheesy, what with his eager eyes and butchered pronunciation. At least he’s trying — scraping together his kindergarten-level dialogue to form a simple sentence, and it’s sort of sweet, you think. 

“Was that a sincere offer?”

No harm in asking, right?

“Was it a sincere question?” He fires back instantaneously. 

And oh, he knows it wasn’t. You were merely answering a question, following the sound of his voice and the way it rose and fell like pebbled leather – but his taunting is tantalizing. Your desire is hungry and he offers to feed it – and why would you refuse?

He tastes sweet. Barely a moment of brevity was able to pass before your lips cradled his, sucking and soaking the flavor of lingering soda straight off his teeth. His tongue is his weapon of choice, breathlessly exploring the cave of your mouth, trying to mold himself right into your gums. 

His hands roam, up and down your figure, eventually settling on either side of your waist and thumbing circles into your hip bones, it’s sexy. Just as he is. 

You crook your head to alter the angle and he moans, completely unabashed, the sound passes through his mouth and into yours, and you know his mind is following the same dirty pathway as yours.

You tear away from him, reveling in the way he pants like a wounded dog, the way he struggles to leave your lips as if he’s magnetized to them. 

“I think I know how to help your spanish…”

“Mmm?” He tries to sound like he’s in control but it’s a vain and vacuous attempt. It’s cute. 

You don’t offer a response, but your fingers traipse lower, beyond the region of his shirt’s hem and dipping beneath his waistband. You glance at him, eyes seeking consent. He nods, words failing him as your fingers find his buttons and begin to tug. 

When his denim restrictions pool around his ankles, you guide him to sit on the edge of his bed – his thighs are quivering in anticipation and a saturated spill has soaked his boxers, where the defined shape of his dick has begun to show. 

You grab the spanish textbook from beside you before spreading his legs with your hands. Your pace is agonizing. 

“C’mon, you’re killing me,” he croaks, eyes struggling to stay on you with the weight of this moment heavy on his shoulders. 

You have a spark in your eyes, one that’s ignited and waiting to devour – your thumb encircles his clothed tip and a shudder licks at the base of his spine. His twitching hands come to rest in your hair, interlacing with a grip that stings like rope burn – you’re not opposed to the pain. It’s proof of his lack of control over himself, and the thought itself is enough to make you, in turn, shudder as well. 

“You— fuck. You’re totally evil.” 

A few painful moments of you tracing him through the fabric and he’s getting a little bit frenzied – his jaw is uncomfortably taunt and his hold on your hair is only growing tighter. You decide to indulge his whispered pleas. 

Your hands shift from their position splayed on his thighs and delve into his boxers, making a show of drawing them down his legs until they join his jeans at his feet. His cock’s hard, weeping as he writhes with want. He thinks if you don’t do something, he’ll actually die. Just something. 

“Can you— ah– just do something?” His voice sounds scratchy, punctured by his longing. 

“Ask me in spanish.”

“What?” He’s maybe a little delirious, what with all the blood leaving his head. 

“I’m here to teach you, Clapton.” Your devious grin sends him reeling— his cock shivers with him as he scrambles to open the textbook, trying to find some stupid page that’ll give you what you want. 

He thinks it’s cruel, dangling yourself in front of him like this, mocking him every minute that those decadent lips aren’t wrapped around him. He wonders what Spanish would sound like when it’s muffled by his cock. 

Your hands, callous-free and creamy with the vestige of vanilla lotion, inch gradually upwards along his thighs, enjoying the way their feather-light touches cause tension to erupt across his nerves. He’s trembling in the mid-may heat. 

“Uh— fuck— por– por fay– por-far-vor pay-paydo tenarlo?” You can barely understand the massacred words, and when you do— por favor puedo tenerlo— you deem it to be a little vague. But at least he’s trying. He just needed some motivation. 

When you finally allow him solace in the comfort of your mouth, he goes a little dumb. His jaw slackens with an audible sound as his tongue falls from the roof of his mouth — he was previously rolling it around to try and find any remaining taste of you. He was unsuccessful, of course, but it didn’t matter anymore. 

Not when his cock was buried in the narrow channel of your throat, not when you’re groaning against him as his weight settles against your lapping tongue, not when your teeth graze along his shaft and his hips wildly buck off his bed. It’s so filthy, but it’s everything he needs. 

“Shit— shit, that’s good, yeah, just like that. Fuck that’s— ah!” 

His English is nearly as bad as his Spanish right now, and can you blame him? With every trembling buck forwards he’s thrown deeper into your mouth, your trachea, all accompanied by that greedy glint of lust in your eyes that’s damn near tangible. 

His eyes are rolling backwards, up into the depths of his skull so all you can see are the alabaster parts of his sclera. Your own eyes are misty; soaked with spills of tears that taste like a reward, a reminder of your efforts. He’s breaking and it’s all because of you. 

“Holy fuck,” he rasps, his hands still settled in the roots of your hair. This might not be his first blowjob, but it’s certainly his best one. 

His length prods deeper, bruising at the palate of your mouth, drooling pre-cum around your gums, sousing them in his salty scent. You fall into a rhythm and he falls into you, teetering on the brink of bliss with every prolonged suck that you give him. 

By the time his edge is impending, his cheeks are kissed with stains of vivid cherry red, hair is tousled and slick with sweat, and he’s managed to regain control of his rolling eyes, keeping them trained on your figure with a bout of concentration. Good. 

Your lips leave him, just for a moment, matching your previous pace with your hand and ignoring the desperate whine he emits from the action. 

“You gonna come?”

He looks almost ashamed, as if the prospect of it occurring so early is anything but what you wanted. 

“Well – yeah. Yeah– fuck— if you, if you keep going like that, then yeah.”

His voice cracks like distant thunder and his body bites back another pitchy whimper. 

“You gotta ask nicely.”

The words sound a little foreign as you spit them from your mouth, but you’re too stuck into the experience to care. Your hand chafes against him with the dry friction, and he yearns for your lips once more. In this sticky-sweet moment, he thinks he’d do anything for them back. 

“Please. Please– please, I gotta, you gotta just–”

You interrupt him with a tut. “In spanish.”

En español. 

He fumbles for the book, his hands sliding from your hair with a begrudging expression – he can’t stay infuriated for long though, not when you're subtly slinking your head back to nuzzle his tip. Fuck. 

“Por— por favor.” 

His docility is almost pathetic. 

“Por f– fuck, do I really gotta– ah– do this?”

When your hand threatens to leave his cock completely, the panic he exudes is nearly comical. He’s been wanting this for so long, he’s not losing it now.

“Okay, okay! Por favor, por— shit– por favor. P– yeah, that’s it, you’re so good, so hot, shit—”

His endeavor is ultimately scrambled when your mouth makes its return around him, and you know the moment his eyes begin to lose their focus that he’s gone. You let his consciousness leave, with every desperate thrust into your throat, with every dulcet whimper – your hands extend to fondle his balls and ultimately he’s nudged off into the void of blissful oblivion, by you and you alone. 

His wail is weak but encouraging as he comes, polluting your throat with opalescent ribbons, he tastes like seaside salt and everything you’ve been missing. Indulgent. His shattered voice is the most gratifying sound, incomprehensible praises clotting between his lips and washing over you, and you bask in it. 

You're battered and probably bruised, your jaw aches and your knees are raw, but it was all for a good cause. Seeing him like this, quaking with the pleasure that you carved into him— maybe it’s the orgasmic haze but Clapton swears you’re glistening in the afternoon sun. An angel on Earth. 

Un ángel en la tierra. 

You don’t end up leaving his house that night — instead you lie against the quiet ebb of his heartbeat, tangled in his sheets and woven into his arms where you rightfully belong. His homework still isn’t done, his room carries the scent of sex and sweat and all things filthy, but neither of you have the cognitive ability to worry about it. 

So, you sleep; rocked into exhaustion and sharing a pillow. Your flesh sears as his gentle hands stroke it, he can feel your smile as it forms against his chest. 

Aquí es donde usted pertenece.

reminder, my requests are always open

masterlist

✩‧₊

[yizuos]

I do too value my life but I refuse to sit up here and feel nihilistic about world going be even worse than ever when Palestinians also value their life wishing to escape this horrible genocide having to ask people share their campaign all because donations are coming in slow so instead of focusing on that negative why not turning it positive by sharing or donating to one Palestinian campaign?

@youseffamily

(https://gofund.me/fefe93ba)

Save the life of an innocent child

PLEASE look at this fundraiser. ( @youseffamily)Yousef's baby is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help him due to the lack of proper medical care. His son is unable to breathe normally and Yousef's fundraiser is nearly dead in the water, with only $3,158 raised out of a $20,000 goal. If 100 people reading this donated $10, Yousef could raise $1000 in a day. If you are able to donate, if you can do anything to help, please do not delay. Yousef's son's life depends on it.

@free-palestine-2023

Urgent Appeal: Support Our Humanitarian Mission in Gaza [https://gofund.me/85d6cc93] vetted by gazavetters, and my verification number is (#209). €276/ €70k

@fayezjadallah

Join Us in Our Struggle: Save Our Family from War in Gaza [https://gofund.me/33d78314] £5 585/£25k

Mohammed is in critical condition after being shot by Israeli drones. He has been taken to the operating and urgently needs treatment outside the Gaza Strip.

@najah-tamim2023

Urgent Help me meet my father and get out to safety [https://gofund.me/d4d8c6bc] €2,976/€20k vetted by 90-ghost and gazavetters (#113)

@shahdgazaa Save my little girl's life

[https://gofund.me/e5c8cd3a]

$2,101 raised of $20,000

PLEASE PLEASE I beg look at this campaign

Mohammed Abuawad's baby is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help her due to the lack of proper medical care. The daughter suffers from kidney failure and autism and Mohammed Abuawad's fundraiser is nearly dead in the water, with only $822 raised out of a $20,000 goal. If 100 people reading this donated $10, Mohammed Abuawad could raise $1000 in a day. If you are able to donate, if you can do anything to help, please do not delay. Mohammed Abuawad's daughter's life depends on it.

@familgazaamal1

Support the family of little Amal to get an urgent operation [https://gofund.me/27f2d7bb] $6,687/$30k

This campaign is vetted by the association. This campaign belongs to the family of @asmaamajed2's brother. (@asmaamajed2 campaign has been shared by 90-ghost, promoted by

@aliandhadeel-family7

Help me and my family escape to safety

[ https://gofund.me/e80367ff ]

Save the life of an innocent child

PLEASE look at this fundraiser. ( @aliandhadeel-family7) Hadeel's baby is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help him due to the lack of proper medical care. Her son is unable to breathe normally and Yasser's fundraiser is nearly dead in the water, with only €105 raised out of a €70,000 goal. You can help this family getting out this nightmare safely if you share or donate $10/$5/$20 donations are protected but please share their campaign to get them verified and also donations

@omarfamily61

Help Omar evacuate Gaza and help his family

[https://gofund.me/8796dd9f]

€2,126 raised of €25,000 9% donations are protected Vetted by 90-ghost

@asil60

Support Asil Fight for Life and Family in Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/00e17ca7]

$64,845/$100,000 65% vetted by 90-ghost and various others

@yasermohammad

Help my Uncel’s family , BE THE CHANGE

[https://gofund.me/b8705606]

€24,659 raised of €35,000 vetted

@abedhilles Help me save myself and my child Karam [ https://gofund.me/c6b702ba ]

$4,350 raised of $35,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

@hind3en Help reunite our family and rebuild our lives again [https://gofund.me/e207de41]

$1,561 raised of $40,000

Proof being vetted [ https://www.tumblr.com/rhq2744/760240324607164416/verified-by-rhq2744?source=share ]

@alimeq92 Help us survive 10 months of hunger, aya & ali [https://gofund.me/c7fcda11]

€2,161 raised of €70,000

Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #54 )

@aboyousef1973

Hamdi Ali Ayyad [https://gofund.me/1981e402]

€1,882 raised of €25,000

@mahmodsy1 Help Mahmoud and his family escape Gaza & continue education [https://gofund.me/c106d785] $5,390 raised of $25,000

Vetted gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #63 ) and beesandwatermelon list is #190

[sexydreamgirl]

I finally gave up on the void as a means of manifestation and wanted to share it somewhere. It's been 9 months since I discovered the void (I was introduced to it through reddit and joined tumblr because of it. I don't regret it as I came to learn states and found amazing loa blogs through it) and it's liberating to finally let it go. My journey was full of hoping, feeling lack and frustration and putting in lots of effort (through methods/routines/challenges) with nothing to show for it. Even when I didn't put the void on the pedestal, nothing worked.

I recently took a break from the void and sincerely put time and effort into understanding states and the law of assumption and it's been so freeing to truly know that I can have everything I want now. I'm having so much fun and I finally feel peace and fulfillment (in part because I no longer look to the 3D for validation, nothing there can trigger or upset me anymore because I know my imagination is the real reality and I already have the things that I want). I've had more success (yes including physical results though I'm no longer relying on that to define me, who I am in imagination will always be my source of reality) with states in this short amount of time than the whole time I was so fixated on succeeding in the void. I realised that the reason the void no longer resonates is because it's conditioning my desires (your post here is perfect btw! https://www.tumblr.com/sexydreamgirl/722421591825334272/what-exactly-is-conditioning-your-desires-or). It's perpetually delaying fulfillment and putting myself in a state of lack until the condition is met (entering the void) which honestly just feels awful and no wonder I used to be so triggered by the 3D, because the whole void obsession here is so 3D-centric with all the routines/methods/challenges/subliminals etc. I had even tried applying states before to be a void master (entering it easily/waking up in the void) but it didn't work nor does it really make sense because I didn't feel fulfilled in imagination by it.

It's not the condition being met that fulfills you but having your desires now that does. To all the people so determined to enter the void, I ask you, if you could have all your desires right now without the void, would you take it and never look back? I'm going to bet that the majority will wholeheartedly say yes right away because again, it's not the void that you want, it's the having of your desires now because that's what will bring you fulfillment (and yes whatever you want the void to manifest can be achieved through states/loa because everything is imagination). I actually remember reading your post & aphroditeapprenticee's about the void obsession a while back and scoffing at it because I didn't understand the law but now I do and you're right. After giving up on the void and learning & applying states, I've come way further than I would if I kept clinging onto it and now I have my own personal proof of my power in my imagination/consciousness and that gives me stronger confidence and faith than anything else. I don't need the void to have the things I want. I'm really happy with where I am at now and know there's no stopping me now. Thanks for reading! :)

I need all the void obsessed people to read this thoroughly and take notes. This is precisely what we've all been saying. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, my love ♡

[cursedomain]

Little Lies.

Your eyes speak, they give me answers your mouth and body will deny until the end. Maybe you knew that too, didn't you? Your body has been showing me different signs that your eyes have denied until the end. The love your mouth speaks of, the wanting that your body shows me, but the hatred your eyes reflect. You've been longing to be set free, like a stallion held captive in a pen.

I realized, if it's not you, it's okay too. So you don't have to keep delaying such a sad goodbye, it won't be the end of my world, just the end of what we call 'our' world.

No matter where you are, I promise I won't look for you, so run far or stay near. My heart won't long for you much longer, I promise. My body and eyes don't lie, nor does my mouth like yours did. So, take my words as is. I hope you find the life you're looking for. You were such a kind soul to me as you took care of my heart gently.

I wish I could ask how tired you are since you must've been trying to love me again as if it could be done. Should I ask if I was the problem knowing neither of us is at fault for the lack of love now?

Did you ask your self, 'When will it end', hoping I would notice the truth in your eyes sooner rather than later? I won't know I suppose, since I fell out first. You don't have to say you're leaving either, just go. Sometimes no words is better than the crushing sound of words said at the departing stage. Must I hear you will forever love me of some sort and wish me the best?

Yet again, If it's not you, that's ok. Please find your happiness in the way you wish, and I shall find mine.

My regrets stay hidden by saying "No problem," even if it is.

I will hide our past happiness deep inside my head, letting it rest and thanking it for the bliss I felt.

You don't have to endure waiting for the day you say 'Goodbye', so go, be free and find the life you've been looking for.

I love you always, and wish for your happiness.

(Sorry for spelling errors ;-; no proof read for this one or the other one (To the moon, My moon.) These are just random thoughts, this one comes from a inspiration of a singer I enjoy :)

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

The Palestinian Center of Human Rights is a respected organization by the human rights community. 

It is also insanely antisemitic.

The headline of a news release this week says, "Latest Israeli Displacement Orders Further Prove Their Genocidal Nature.

The very things the IDF does to avoid civilian casualties in order to get to Hamas targets hidden in civilian areas are being viewed as evidence of genocide!

The press release says this statement that no sane person could write: "The establishment of these so-called ‘humanitarian safe zones’ reveals a genocidal pattern designed to forcibly displace Palestinians to areas lacking essential services necessary for their survival. "

If the IDF wanted them dead, why spend the time and effort and resources to ask them (not force them) to leave?

That's not even the only example in this very press release of interpreting Israeli actions to save Gazan lives as genocidal.

Israel has been working hard with UNICEF and WHO to bring polio vaccines into Gaza, a complex undertaking to do safely. Over 1.2 million doses have been imported. The entire operation is complicated by the fact that thse vaccines must be kept cool, so appropriate cooling equipment must also be brought in and there must be assurance that they will work during power outages. The entire operation so far has been accomplished in only a couple of weeks.

Israel has also appointed a brigadier general whose only job is to coordinate with international organizations for aid delivery and distribution into Gaza. I'm pretty sure that no army in history has ever done so much to ensure aid to the enemy's side.

But here is how PCHR reports it:

The delay in the vaccination campaign due to Israel’s displacement orders highlights a trend of weaponizing previously eradicated, highly infectious diseases as a tool of genocide. This strategy deliberately uses such diseases to inflict permanent disability or death on Palestinian residents of Gaza.

This is simply a 21st  century update of the Black Death blood libel against Jews. 

It isn't coming from neo-Nazis but from a respected human rights organization - one that partners with Amnesty and HRW, among others, and whose reports are trusted by those organizations as well as the UN.

To PCHR and other "human rights" NGOs, the idea that Israeli Jews are immoral, homicidal maniacs is the first principle from which these organizations interpret everything else. Once the idea that Jews are the worst people is established, then any counter-evidence becomes, instead, evidence of the  truth of their antisemitic conspiracy theories.

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Alsoo!!

(Tic trigger warning!!)

I myself would like to be a bit more open about my own disabilities! For me, I'm neurodiverse, have chronic exhaustion and pains, and an unfortunate amount of mental illnesses, and some tasks that are difficult for me are:

Reading books:

The way books are held, cause severe discomfort in neck, shoulders, and back due to the way i must read and hold a book.

Information being processed is delayed for me, this causes me to have to reread the same pages again and again to register the information. (Often co-exists with lack of focus.)

Bad memory and dissociation makes retaining and remembering information nearly impossible.

Executive disfunction causes me to stop reading, be unable to pick the book back up—and I forget what previously happened due to bad memory. Also makes me lose motivation to read.

Words do like, this weird mixing thing in my head. Where I'll read the order of words backwards, read them as the wrong words, read letters in the wrong place like a typo, etc. And like it's annoying.

Anxiety makes 'suspense' stressful and not enjoyable, I tend to always look up the endings way before I'm done. If I don't, I get anxious /neg

Lack of focus can cause me to lose my place in the book, read without registering it (similar to my information processing issues)

aphantasia (basically I can't visualize stuff in my head) means I cannot visualize what's happening in the book, so it's just... words, which is cool i guess but not super fun

Exhausting. It's exhausting to read a lot, it's why I don't read fanfics longer than 2k words often. It takes a lot of mental energy to read.

Bad motion skills! My hands give out sometimes and I drop the book! And if I'm already exhausted/in pain, I don't wanna pick it up!

Tics! Same story, but my tics get painful, and are anxiety prone/triggered. So suspense, gives me anxiety, tics—Suddenly I can't focus on the book.

Sensory issues!! Some sounds/feelings book make, make me feel sick/make me shiver, icky!

Okay, so... I was gonna list off other disabilities I have, but... I didn't realize just how much that is by itself. I actually had to take a break writing this, because again, it takes a lot of mental energy.

It starts hurting my wrist to hold up my phone to type. I get bored, i have to fix all the typos and proof read, etc etc.

I didn't realize how much energy I put into reading. How it's not always enjoyable for me.

And yet I'm a fast reader, minus all that?

Looking at all these, I feel silly. It's a pretty basic task and yet I see it as a chore.

Itshxoxohxoipfjfpfupfjp sorry I'm being pathetic.

(Also depth perspective makes Mr hold thr book way too closely, which starts hurting my eyes. Reading too long gives me headachesss)

[number1wilburfan]

hi! i kinda asked someone else this same question but didn’t realize they were on break, so i come to you instead. i come from an ambivalent standpoint on the wilbur shelby situation, and after a previous run-in of mine with a wss person, i have some questions.

these questions come from a genuine stance of curiosity and wanting to know about both sides: why do you support wilbur? and do you have some proof of your claims?

again, not passive aggressive or hostile or even biased, i am just totally confused and curious. thank you for whatever you reply with! :3

Hello! I apologize for the delay in answering, I still couldn’t gather my thoughts to answer properly 😔

I support Wilbur because we have absolutely no evidence of abuse on his part. All we know for sure is that he bit (and as Shelby herself recently said, it was consensual), but the rest of Shelby's accusations are either unconfirmed or refuted (like the accusation that Wilbur locked her in the house, while he lived with his parents)

I also support him because mass harassment against him began, doxxing, fake nudes and, as I recently found out, the dissemination of intimate photos of his children (this is unconfirmed information, so I don’t want to focus attention here)

Another reason is Shelby's ableism, her words that depression is just an excuse, ignoring the suicides of some WSS, the lack of any help for victims of abuse.

She also gets confused about her story all the time. First she says that she did not consent to the bites, then she says that everything was by mutual consent.

The SSS also played a role. Most of them are just disgusting people making fun of Wilbur's appearance, who has lost a lot of weight, as well as the things I listed above.

There's plenty of proofs at least for my last claim, you can just go in Twitter and look through the "wilbur soot" tag, or check the comment section under WSS videos in tik tok. I also have a proof of Shelby confusing her story on my page, you can check it if you want to.

Thank you so much for being respectful and nice! ❁ Also, sorry if there's any mistakes in text, I'm using the translator to write this, haha

[hb-writes]

Harvard-Educated Imbecile

Summary: When the Specter family's autumn plans get sidetracked by terrible weather, they try to have a nice family movie marathon instead. Heavy emphasis on 'try.'

Prompt: "I swear to god if you scare me while watching any of these movies I'll shove my foot up your ass."

Characters: Harvey Specter, Marcus Specter, Charlie Specter & Marcus's kids (Haley & Lucas)

Warnings: some cursing, lack of proof reading. 🙃

Harvey lounged on the couch by himself, the smell of cookies wafting in from the kitchen where Charlie was with their niece and nephew, their laughter and chatter coming and going as they got the movie snacks together, a job Harvey had been quick to decline. Harvey had been quick to say he wanted nothing to do with the preparation.

He took a sip of his nearly empty coffee as he waited now. He could use a refill before the movie started, but he was comfortable there with his legs stretched out over the ottoman. And maybe needing a refill was a good excuse to keep in his pocket, a convenient reason to leave the room mid-movie if need be…

Harvey rubbed at his eyes after setting aside his mug. Barely 10 am and they were preparing for a movie marathon. Harvey wasn’t sure how exactly he had ended up here. 

Well, logistically, he knew how he'd ended up here. Charlie and Harvey had driven in for some quality time with Marcus and his family. They were supposed to be taking his niece and nephew to some farm to pick pumpkins, get lost in a corn maze, and fall into an apple cider donut-induced sugar high, but the weather was shit. And the decision to forgo their plans in light of the frigid downpour that would likely turn to snow if it continued was unanimous. It was for that reason that Harvey was sitting on his brother’s couch in loungewear readying himself for a movie marathon.

A scary movie marathon, nonetheless. 

Harvey hadn’t watched a scary movie in years, though Charlie begged him to join her often enough, usually trying to goad him into it by employing each and every technique she’d learned from Marcus—a whole lot of teasing and name-calling, mostly. Most of it barely scratched the surface. Just about as effective as her pleading. Harvey was half-immune to his sister's tactics by practice, but he always declined those particular requests out of principle.

Scary movies weren't his thing. He'd warned her as much over a decade before when she first decided that she rather liked them. There was precious little that Harvey denied his sister, but this was one of them. And as far as Harvey was concerned, he wasn't really denying her anything anyway. Charlie had plenty of people willing to watch with her—Mike and Donna, or her school friends, or Marcus…and Marcus’s kids, apparently. She had plenty of fellow deranged wackos in her company, no need for him to join in.

And it was easy enough for Harvey to shut out her teasing because he knew these movies scared the shit out of her, too. Charlie always tried to act like she wasn't terrified, but Harvey hadn't ever missed that she was always jumpy after watching one. Always delaying her sleep and keeping the lights on. Distracting herself with watching something lighter than whatever horrors she'd just subjected herself to.

Her incessant goading and teasing was all a bluff. The girl was just as chicken shit as Harvey was. She just refused to accept it. Almost as if she thought she had to like the scary movies to prove something. Harvey wasn't quite sure what Charlie thought she was proving, and to whom she was proving it, but she'd committed to scary movies as if liking them was a right of passage. 

Maybe it was because Marcus liked them. Genuinely enjoyed them. Or maybe it was because of witnessing the teasing that Harvey endured at Marcus's hands, as if Charlie didn't want to be on the receiving end of it...but Marcus would never tease Charlie like he teased Harvey.

He had a feeling the teasing wouldn't land quite the same either because even though they all picked at each other, there was something different about what passed between Harvey and Marcus. The goading that came Harvey's way from Marcus was different. It nudged at something deep inside of him, some ancient brotherly competitiveness that would likely always be there. It was different from whatever the boys had with Charlie.

Harvey glanced up as his brother dropped a pile of blankets on the couch cushion beside him, picking up and tossing Haley's soft princess blanket at Harvey.

“Want a blankie to shield your precious eyes?”

Harvey rolled his eyes and Charlie snorted as she came into the room, easing a tray filled with the coffee carafe and several snacks onto the coffee table. 

Harvey gave his sister a pointed look before shifting his gaze to Marcus. “Keep talking like that and you’ll need something to shield yourself with while I kick your ass up and down the block.” 

Marcus grinned at his brother, a suggestive eyebrow raised. His lips remained closed even though each of his features asked Wanna go?

It had been years since the two of them went at it like that, but Harvey and Marcus maintained eye contact as if it was a real prospect now, the mere suggestion of it coating the air just as the scent of cookies did, strong enough that Charlie cleared her throat after a second.

“And you stay out of it," Harvey said, shooting her another glance, "unless you wanna go up and down the block, too."  

“I didn’t even say anything,” Charlie answered even though her mouth had already been poised to say something if the throat clearing didn't do the trick, the idea forming in her mind long before Harvey called her out.

It was always like this when the three of them were together, like a verbal sparring match of sorts. An unspoken competition, like the three of them were a bunch of kids. Worse than the actual kids—at least that’s what Marcus's wife liked to say. She had only been half-joking when she warned her husband and his siblings to behave themselves as she headed out the door to go to the office this morning, keen on finishing up whatever it was that couldn’t wait until Monday. 

“You were going to,” Harvey answered. “I could sense the sass on your tongue all the way over here.” 

Charlie smirked. “I think that’s actually cookie dough residue.” 

Harvey rolled his eyes. He wondered how many cookies the kids had actually gotten out of the dough Marcus had mixed together for them. Considering Charlie had been supervising, he imagined they’d all done more sampling of the raw dough than they had baking it. And considering the timer had gone off a few minutes before Charlie came in, and the cookies—along with his niece and nephew—had yet to appear, Harvey assumed that sampling was still happening now. 

“I think that sass on her tongue is a permanent affliction, isn’t it, Harvey?” Marcus asked. A smirk passed between the boys and Charlie felt the sudden shift in the teasing, sensing her brothers quickly aligning against her.

Harvey sighed, shaking his head. “You're right, Marcus. That is what all the doctors said. She's got a chronic condition.”

“Right,” Marcus said, giving his sister a sad, pitying smile. “I remember them saying we were better off just doing an extraction rather than hoping for a cure.” 

“Hilarious.” Charlie rolled her eyes as she shoved the blankets aside and settled into the spot beside Harvey, pushing against him as she tried to gain some purchase on the ottoman he was hogging. “You two are imbeciles.” 

“Yeah." Marcus chuckled, letting out a barking laugh. "I think our doctors may have said that, too."

“Speak for yourself, Marcus."

Harvey snorted as the kids came into the room and Haley set down a sparse plate of cookies while Lucas delivered a container of oreos to the coffee table. 

“You know Harvey’s a special, Marcus,” Charlie said as she tugged on the edge of Harvey’s princess blanket, pulling it over herself. “He’s one of those incredibly rare Harvard-educated imbe—”

Charlie let out a shout as Harvey locked her head in his arm and pulled her against his chest, messing with her hair as she scrambled, shouting and pushing to get away from him. The attack lasted only a few seconds before Haley pounced on Harvey’s lap, the loyal little girl’s hands working to free her favorite—and only—aunt. Harvey let the struggle go on for a few minutes, making a grand production out of finally releasing his grip on Charlie, a production that had Haley giggling in his lap as Marcus and Lucas looked on from a cushion away. 

Charlie shoved at Harvey as she flipped her messy hair back over her head. “You’re a jerk, a Harvard-educated—”

“You really want to go for round two?” Harvey asked as he tried to pull Charlie back into his side. “Maybe we’ll go through with extracting that tongue after all.”

Charlie shoved him away, pulling her legs off the ottoman and shifting closer to Marcus. "That's like the forth threat you've made this morning, Harvey. Maybe have another cup of coffee or something so you stop being such an a—"

“Maybe we should just start the movie,” Marcus interrupted, conscious of the little ears in the room, well-aware of the fact that his sister was about to provide an insult more far more colorful than imbecile.

Without further prompting, Lucas and Haley suddenly got up and scurried across the room to the windows, pulling the curtains shut, the room descending into a quick darkness. Haley and Lucas came back to the couch, squeezing in between Charlie and their father, forcing a begrudging Charlie back to Harvey’s side.

As everyone settled, Marcus pressed play and Harvey tilted his head towards Charlie's ear. "I swear to god if you scare me while watching any of these movies I'll shove my foot up your ass," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Charlie shoved him away, her hand against his cheek for only a moment before Harvey twisted out of her grasp, leaning forward to meet Lucas and Haley’s gaze, their eyes bright with laughter from what they'd already overheard. “And that goes extra for you two.” 

Both kids squealed with laughter. 

“Nice job, Uncle Harvey. Threatening a couple of defenseless kids because you’re afraid…” Marcus raised an eyebrow. “You do realize it’s just a Disney movie, right?”

Charlie snorted and Harvey glanced at the screen, catching the tail-end of the franchise’s famous intro, that classic castle on a field of blue. 

Harvey shrugged. “Yeah, well, they made some weird stuff in the 90’s.” 

Charlie pulled away to look at him. “How would you know? Weren’t you too busy studying to become a...” Harvey raised an eyebrow and Charlie hesitated for a quick second before deciding that whatever Harvey’s retribution was to be, it was well worth it. Some part of her decided she quite liked the ring of this new moniker. She liked it almost as much as she liked Harvey's clear annoyance with it and Charlie had a feeling she wouldn't stop using it any time soon.

“A Harvard-educated imbecile?” Charlie finished, squealing as Harvey’s fingers immediately dug into her side beneath the blanket. 

Marcus sighed, pausing the movie and sharing a look with his kids as Charlie started screaming and giggling. “You know, you two didn’t need to create this elaborate scheme to put off watching the movie. If you’re too chicken…”

Charlie caught Harvey’s hand at the same moment he slowed his attack, both of them turning their attention to Marcus at the mere insinuation that this had all been a carefully concocted ruse. Harvey pulled his hand free, reaching across Charlie, Lucas, and Haley to grab for the remote in Marcus's hand. Charlie wasted no time in settling back against the couch beside him. And Harvey swiftly pressed the play button, both of their eyes trained on the screen. 

“Imbeciles," Marcus muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

“What’s an imbecile?” Haley whispered a moment later, her version of the gesture loud enough that they all heard it.

A chorus of laughter erupted, interspersed with accusations of ‘he is’ and ‘she is’ from the lips of her aunt, uncle, and father before Luke leaned over to snatch the remote from his uncle's grasp.

"I swear to god,” he started, looking at the adults in the room as he paused the movie, "if you don’t be quiet, I'll shove my—”

“Lucas,” Marcus warned, shaking his head at his son. "Don't even think about it."

“Why not? Uncle Harvey just said it.” Luke said, his arm flying out to gesture toward his uncle.

Charlie hid half of her face under the blanket to hide her smile as Harvey smirked outright, ignoring Marcus's glare as Harvey leaned forward to grab a cookie.

"Because you can't say it. Let's just start the movie, alright?"

Luke huffed, settling his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the couch. Haley leaned toward her brother as their father fumbled with the remote.

"Maybe you can't copy Uncle Harvey because he's a Harvard-educated imbecile," she whispered.

Charlie and Marcus made eye contact over Lucas and Haley's heads, both of them dissolving into silent bouts of laughter.

Harvey swallowed the last bite of cookie, eyes narrowing at his siblings as they worked to contain their laughter, both of them violently shaking as they tried to hold it in. 

"Alright," Harvey said, reaching across Charlie to grab for the remote and pressing play. "Let's just start the damn movie." 

Suits (Lines to Live By) Masterlist

[talibunny30]

Echoes of Resilience *SNEAK PEAK*

I realise that I have been absent from posting my story for more than a wee while now, but with a visit from my parents, a trip to Manchester and the ever-present and unending duties of adult life, time has gotten the best of me. And let's not even MENTION the bout of writer's block that had me in a literal chokehold...

Anywho, I have decided that even if I don't ever return to writing this brainchild, someone might be interested to see where I stopped?

So here is 468 words of Chapter Eight that might never have made it into the light otherwise.

Chapter Eight - Billowing Smoke

All through breakfast and the cleaning up that followed; rationing of the food - breakfast, lunch and dinner - all neatly portioned into meals just this side of sufficient; laying out and packing the bedrolls and blankets; sharpening the obscene amount of daggers, short swords, throwing knives - and arrows - accompanying them on this trip, Boudica remained mute.

Nesta refused to be the first to chase away the silence that had waltzed in, sat down and proceeded to make itself the third companion for the journey ahead. If stonewalling was an art form, Nesta would be considered a savant.

She busied herself with the trips to and from their horses, attaching all she could manage to the saddles, filling the water skeins, and rummaging through drawers and cabinets in Boudica’s home in the hopes of finding salves, tape and bandages, curating whatever was available for a makeshift healer’s satchel. It was foolish to be unprepared for whatever worst-case scenario awaited them.

Just as the first rays of sunlight stretched their fingers over the horizon, Nesta found that she had no other tasks to use as an excuse for her lack of conversation. She felt a wave of unease wash over her. This was it. She was about to take the first steps on an unplanned course leading to an unknown destination. Well, maybe the destination was not unknown, but what awaited her definitely was.

In theory, the tasks on Nesta’s itemised mental list were simple: travel to the wall, cross it, rescue Feyre, and get back to the mansion. Easy, right?

Nesta refused to mull over all the factors that may present themselves before, during, or after each of those key points. What was the worst that could happen anyway? It was not as if Nesta was a stranger to failure. Feyre was gone, wasn’t she? That alone was proof that Nesta was ill-equipped to ever be the eldest sister. Wasn’t she supposed to be the one to look after her sisters now that their mother was gone? Their father had always been unreliable. Nesta was sure that Duncan Archeron was born to heel at the satin slippers of whatever lioness he lucked out in marrying.

She shook her head to dislodge the grasshopper that was her thoughts. Given just a moment of free time, her mind would jump from one negative observation to the next, criticising her parents, her upbringing, but most frequently, herself. It was always this way; Nesta could never seem to quiet her mind no matter how hard she wished for peace. 

Boudica had just finished checking the shoes of both horses, deeming them in good enough condition to avoid delaying their leave, and finally chased away the unwanted third wheel to their party of two as she broke the silence. 

“Ready for the real world, toots?”

------------------------------------------------------

Echoes of Resilience taglist

@christeareads

@shadowsandlint

@achaotichuman

@c-starstuff-man0

@dawneternal

@jules-writes-stories

@the-darkestminds

@chunkypossum

@secret-third-thing

Let me know if you want on or off the taglist :))

[yizuos]

Genocide flattens every discussion. There are no new conversations to be had about the destruction, death and cruelty. After more than a year, there is nothing left to be said about various media houses, corporations and international bodies of law aiding and abetting all that has been happening in Gaza, either. It is the banality of evil, it is colonialism. However even in this atrociously banal circumstance, I do think what still is a continued point of hope for Gazans and what still pushes so many of them to reach out to the world, is the support people around the globe have shown and still continue to show. Which is why I am here on behalf campaigns Palestine blogs ask me to share or donate.

@youseffamily

(https://gofund.me/fefe93ba)

Save the life of an innocent child

PLEASE look at this fundraiser. ( @youseffamily)Yousef's baby is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help him due to the lack of proper medical care. His son is unable to breathe normally and Yousef's fundraiser is nearly dead in the water, with only $3,158 raised out of a $20,000 goal. If 100 people reading this donated $10, Yousef could raise $1000 in a day. If you are able to donate, if you can do anything to help, please do not delay. Yousef's son's life depends on it.

@aliandhadeel-family7

Help me and my family escape to safety

[ https://gofund.me/e80367ff ]

Save the life of an innocent child

PLEASE look at this fundraiser. ( @aliandhadeel-family7) Hadeel's baby is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help him due to the lack of proper medical care. Her son is unable to breathe normally and Yasser's fundraiser is nearly dead in the water, with only €105 raised out of a €70,000 goal. You can help this family getting out this nightmare safely if you share or donate $10/$5/$20 donations are protected but please share their campaign to get them verified and also donations

@mariam-gaza

Help my children to evacuat gaza

$1,216/$20,000 6% of their goal

[ https://gofund.me/b2e57341 ]

This campaign is vetted by association through @ayoosh-gaza (who is herself vetted by association through another vetted person here). Mariam, along with Huda (@huda-gaza) are Ayaa's sisters.

@noor509

Help Nour and his family survive the war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/003421a3 ] $33,039/$45,000 73% vetted by 90-ghost and association

@mohmoud-j & @jomana-ha Help Mahmoud’s Family Evacuate for Urgent Medical Care (https://gofund.me/363ae8ca)

$15,588 raised of $60,000

Verified by emperorpalpatittay and a-shade-of-blue

@anasgaza12 Donate to allow my family to survive (https://gofund.me/f6e9cad8)

€12,211 raised of €50,000

Vetted by gazavetters , their number verified on the list is ( #32 ) and various others

@omarmohammed14

Help Omar evacuate Gaza and help his family

[https://gofund.me/8796dd9f]

€1,299 raised of €25,000 5% donations are protected Vetted by 90-ghost

@asil60

Support Asil Fight for Life and Family in Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/00e17ca7] $64,845/$100,000 65% vetted by 90-ghost and various others

@mahmoudnassersblog

Help this family evacuate from gaza

[ https://gofund.me/bdae73b3 ] $17,933/$50,000 37% vetted by 90-ghost

@faroham Rebuilding After loss: Your Support Brings Us Back [ https://gofund.me/3ef81d29 ]

$3,591 raised of $35,000

gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #42)

@majedalgherbawi

Rebuilding Hope: A Gaza Family in Need of Your Help [ https://gofund.me/abbc2759 ]

$6,607 raised of $70,000 vetted by 90-ghost

@maysa-salman

Help Maysa and her family in Gaza to survive

[ https://gofund.me/6f130b30 ] €140/€50,000

@yasermohammad

Help my Uncel’s family , BE THE CHANGE

[ https://gofund.me/b8705606 ]

€24,659 raised of €35,000 vetted

@abedhilles Help me save myself and my child Karam [ https://gofund.me/c6b702ba ]

$4,350 raised of $35,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

@hind3en Help reunite our family and rebuild our lives again [ https://gofund.me/e207de41 ]

$1,561 raised of $40,000

Proof being vetted [ https://www.tumblr.com/rhq2744/760240324607164416/verified-by-rhq2744?source=share ]

@alimeq92 Help us survive 10 months of hunger, aya & ali [ https://gofund.me/c7fcda11 ]

€2,161 raised of €70,000

Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #54 )

@aboyousef1973

Hamdi Ali Ayyad (https://gofund.me/1981e402)

€1,882 raised of €25,000

@mahmoidsy Help Mahmoud and his family escape Gaza & continue education [ https://gofund.me/c106d785 ] $5,390 raised of $25,000

Vetted gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #63 ) and beesandwatermelon list is #190

@ayman-meq18

Aidez la famille MOKDAD a survivre au genocide israélite [ https://gofund.me/94edbc2b ]

€1,119 raised of €90,000

Vetted by @gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #94 )

@kawlafamily01

Support Khawla's Family in Gaza Crisis

$9,065/$20,000 45% donations has been made [ https://gofund.me/5050ded3 ]

She is a mother of three children, the elder Mohammed, 6 years old, who was infected with hepatitis C from water and malnutrition and needs special food and complementary treatment to support his weak immunity. Verified by @fidaa-family2 is her sister

@dina-my-family

Help me save my children from death in the Gaza war $12,245/$50,000 goal [ https://gofund.me/1bff15a6 ]

Dina's son is suffering from a bad fever and they need support to afford basic necessities like food, water, diapers, and clothes to keep warm during the upcoming winter. Please keep sharing, & donate to help the campaign!

@asmaayyad1

€25,460/€45,000 57% has been donated

Help me and my family escape the war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/466fa61a ]

Verified by 90-ghost various others

@rewaida97

Help Maher and his family escape Gaza, and build a future [ https://gofund.me/1ccd21c2 ] €2,151/€30,000 vetted by 90-ghost

@hebanaseif

Helping Heba Family : Escaping War to a New Life €62/€50,000 [ https://gofund.me/e6a27592 ]

0% of their goal donations are protected but lack of verification and sharing campaign not getting them more donations so please share or tag any accounts can help them get verified

@mahmoudayyads

Urgent aid ! Help to fight starvation for an extended family €6,770/€55,000 12% of their goal [ https://gofund.me/fe3cd6dc ]

Verified by 90-ghost

@hanangaza1

Save Hanan and her children to reach safety

[ https://gofund.me/269b7293 ]

$3,575/$100,000 4% of their goal

Verified by 90-ghost

@olagaza1

Ola's Family Call for your Support Amid Crisis

[ https://gofund.me/89e42c74 ]

$57,654/$85,000 68% of their goal

Verified by 90-ghost various others

@najahmeq2

Help us to survive

[ https://gofund.me/6faa91b4 ]

€3.781/€80.000 5% of their goal

Vetted by gazavetters number verified on the list is ( #49 )

@noorabd-1992

Help Nour and his family escape from the war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/cacc94dd ]

$23.245/$45.000 52% of their goal

Verified by 90-ghost

@ahmaad860

Help Ahmed’s family escape the war

[ https://gofund.me/aa7b3ff2 ]

€8,901/€50,000 18% of their goal

Verified by 90-ghost and gazavetters number verified on the list is ( #1 )

@ahmed-family-1

Help my family to live and go to a safe place

[ https://gofund.me/60c0d478 ]

£11,623/£81,000 14% of their goal

@manar4ram

Announcing a campaign to evacuate Ahlam for treatment abroad [ https://gofund.me/8398f4cc ] €1,716/€20,000 9% of their goal

Ahlam Ramadan suffers from kidney failure have 6 daughters and a son she URGENTLY needs to Evacuate is in critical condition and the doctors in Gaza are unable to help her due to the lack of proper medical care. PLEASE share or donate to help her family.

Vetted by gazavetters number verified on the list is ( #69 )

@mahmoud3hilles

Helping my family rebuild our home

[ https://gofund.me/7fa8e82c ]

€12,477/€50,000 25% of their goal

The campaign was documented by el-shab-hussein/ and nabulsi

@ahmad-syam2

Help Ahmed Jehad and his newborn survive!

[ https://gofund.me/028d6998 ]

$6,704 CAD/$40,000 16% of the goal

Vetted by gazavetters number verified on the list is ( #84 ) Verified by bees and watermelon, number 171 and northgazaupdates.

@eyadgaza

Help my family EVACUATE from Gaza.

[ https://gofund.me/9e599706 ]

€2,338/€40,000 5% Vetted by Nabulsi and Vetted by gazavetters #24 Iyad Alanqar @eyadgaza and his family are in grave danger. They have been living through a year of war without proper access to food, shelter, or medical care. Several children of the family have already been killed recently due to bombing.

Right now, missiles have been going off around the Alanqar family. Iyad fears that he may die tonight. He wants his family to survive, to not die unjustly in this genocide. However, he cannot do so alone. He needs your help to purchase basic necessities

@omar-gaze3

Help jody and her family evacuate from Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/60d9e2dd ]

£11,771/£20,000 59% has been donated

This campaign is vetted by association. Omar is the best friend of @mohiy-gaza

@yousefalyazjii1

Help Youssef and his family escape the occupation [ https://gofund.me/2e1c5dfb ]

kr9,556 SEK/kr200,000 5% has been donated

Vetted by number verified on the list is ( #87 )

@shamiamja

Help Jamal Shamia survive the war.

[ https://gofund.me/0409fb46 ]

kr67,488 SEK/kr250,000 27% has been donated

@emanfamily5

Help Eman and Her Children Escape Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/77751696 ]

$2,227/$20,000 11% of their goal

This campaign is vetted by the association through @eslamfamily3 . Eman is her sister.

Disclaimer: I am NOT an official vetter and I did NOT vet this. That was done by the aforementioned vetted Palestinian, I'm just the messenger. I personally believe this campaign is legitimate given the evidence and encourage you to share and donate if you feel comfortable.

@maria-gaza1

Urgent: Help Maria and her family survive the war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/a85bebee ]

$9,792 CAD/$30,000 33%

Vetted by 90-ghost

@rewaamir

Help Rewaa's family survive the hell of war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/e621f3ef ] 0% ther goal

$100 CAD/$55,000

Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #155 )

@randasalem75

Help My Family in Gaza Secure Food and Medicine Amid War [ https://gofund.me/8098c31e ]

$78 CAD/$50,000

Unvetted but reverse image are clear and donations are protected

@sfaamq10

Support Safaa's Quest To Get Her Family To Safety. [ https://gofund.me/9955bd5a ]

$21,316/$75,000 28% of their goal

Safaa is a 26 year old lawyer and mother to an 8 month old baby boy named Amir living in Gaza. She and her extended family have been dealing with extreme stress, loss, and health issues due to the destruction. She and her husband Mohammed have had to relocate, lost access to clean water, food and proper shelter, and have had their goals and dreams seemingly crushed. But there is still so much hope.

@bshaeromars-blog

Help my family escape Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/c0fb7b5f ] 61% of their goal

$24,552/$40,000

Vetted by; nabulsi el-shab-hussein

@fatma-family

Support Fatima's Family in Gaza After Heartbreaking Tragedy [ https://gofund.me/7d2bedab ]

€10,145/€20,000 51% their goal

Unvetted?? but reverse image are clear and donations are protected

@valentina-leonardi

Help Mahmoud's family survive the genocide!

[ https://gofund.me/b97a7d0b ] €6,280/€35,000 18%

Valentina is helping Mahmoud's family by making their campaign completely Vetted and safe to donate. It will all go to Mahmoud's family.

@ahmadmoneer €889/€30,000

Ahmed in the Heart of War:A Father's Struggle to Save family [ https://gofund.me/27142aea ]

Unvetted but reverse image are clear and donations are protected

@amany-raed

Help us to survive from this war

[ https://gofund.me/67de5ee7 ]

Vetted by gazavetters , number verified on the ( list #8 ) €1,671/€35,000

@abood-gaza4

Help Abood From the War

[ https://gofund.me/7a4d8d0a ]

$20,225/$40,000 51% of their goal

Vetted by dlxxv-vetted-donations abood account was unfortunately deleted that's why

@ayoosh-gaza1& @ahmad-gaza

Helping my family to evacuate from Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/87a0fa9f ]

$10,975/$35,000 31% of the goal

Vatted by gaza-evacuation-funds

@aiamaher

Help Aya's family survive the war.

[https://gofund.me/651401af]

€3,311/€55,000 6%

Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.

@haninfamily5

Support Hanin's Family in Rebuilding Life

( https://gofund.me/3c840d91 )

$4,180/$20,000 21%

Gerard is helping Hanin's family by making their campaign completely Vetted and safe to donate. It will all go to Hanin's family.

@saja2007

Help Salwaś family escape the war

[ https://gofund.me/f1e78c37 ]

€75/€40,000

Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #179 )

@kaw95thar

Kawthar family to evacuate from Gaza war

[ https://gofund.me/4089480c ]

€1,435/€50,000 3%

Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #145 ) vetted by 90-ghost

Vetted by gaza-evacuation-funds

@ezzaldeens-blog2

Rebuilding Hope: Help Ezzedine Escape the War in Gaza [https://gofund.me/f5bc0ff1]

€4,564/€10,000

vetted by 90-ghost a-shade-of-blue dlxxv-vetted-donations gaza-evacuation-funds and Gaza vetters number verified is #52

@osamanaseef

Help Dr. Osama's family survive death in Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/f05a632c ] €150/€70,000

Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.

@wafaaresh6

Support Wafa's Fight for Safety and Health

[ https://gofund.me/03e1abcd ]

$49,186/$50,000 98%

@odayfamily

Help Oday And Family Evacuate Gaza, Rebuild Lives [ https://gofund.me/c217b7f7 ]

€5,628/€50,000 11%

Vetted by el-shab-huseein nabulsi gaza-evacation-funds is the access number (261) on their spreadsheet.

@aboodalqedra-9

Your support encourages me to move forward. For my family [ https://gofund.me/95360334 ] €2,931/€25,000

campaign is verified by gaza-evacuation-funds

@nadagaza-3

Help me save my family from Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/d0a409eb ]

€1,328/€20,000

Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.

@yousef-falestinef

Help Palestine and Family Survive the Gaza Crisis [ https://gofund.me/77ca82d7 ]

$30,512/$40,000 76% of their goal

Vetted by 90-ghost

@ahmedashrafanqar

Support Ahmed's Family in Their Stand Against Aggression [ https://gofund.me/353a445c ] €65/€30,000

Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.

@aymanbasil2

From Rubble to Success: Helping Osama Rebuild His Dream [ https://gofund.me/100da7db ]

Verified by 90-ghost gazavetters #146 on this list €3,687/€15,000 25%

@mayarram

Announcing a campaign to evacuate Ahlam for treatment abroad [ https://gofund.me/8398f4cc ] €2,639/€20,000

Vetted by gazavetters 90-ghost

gaza-evacuation-funds

@2malakmaloka

Urgent Relief; Help my family evacuate

[ https://gofund.me/f259485b ]

€1,170/€40,000 verified by @/ibtisams

@jaberfamily5

Support a Family's Journey to Safety and Peace [ https://gofund.me/c1544f1a ] $756/$29,000 3% of goal

Vetted by 90-ghost and association

@ahmed-walid-sadeq94

[ https://gofund.me/07083b05] €405/€70,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

@save-family-mo

Help Salem Family From Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/9233fc30 ] €7,177/€10,000 75%

Vetted by 90-ghost

@eslam-gaza

Support for a Family in Need

[ https://gofund.me/8957280f ] €582/€50,000 1%

Vetted by Gaza vetters number is #181

@asma-jamal

Help Asmaa and her family in Gaza survive

[ https://gofund.me/bf3f2550 ] €85/€50,000

Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help.

@mahmoud-sd

Campaign for Raghad

[https://chuffed.org/project/114389-campaign-for-raghad ]

Doing a reverse image search has turned up nothing. Donate if you can and reblog. Sharing does help. Note: the link is different donations site than GoFundMe the campaign is legitimate as far I know please don't hesitate just because campaign isn't a GoFundMe one

@marymfamily

Help for a better life and to get out of Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/5d807fd8 ] €2,380/€50,000

Vetted by Gaza vetters number is #34

@malak3ayman

Family relief and survival from massacres

[ https://gofund.me/b95ef740 ] vetted by 90-ghost various others €2,940/€60,000 5% of their goal

@ahmed-family-1

Help my family to live and go to a safe place [ https://gofund.me/60c0d478 ] £13,250/£81,000 16% of their goal

Vetted by 90-ghost

@mohammedmashnifam

Help me and my little family evacuate Gaza and survive

[ https://gofund.me/5d94fc85 ]

€581/€45,000 vetted by 90-ghost

@tarnem-1

A Cry from Gaza: A Mother's Plea for Her Children's Survival [https://gofund.me/0190de90 ] €1,090/€60,000 1% of their goal

@asmmma-family

Help Asmaa Abed Find Safety

[ https://gofund.me/791dc07f ] $8,689/$20,000 43% of their goal @asma-family2 (same gfm link).

This campaign is vetted by association through @mohiy-gaza2 (vet). Asmaa is his sister.

@tahreer19

Help Tahrir Survive in Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/2119998c ] $12,405/$65,000 19% of their goal Raina Carter is helping Tahrir's family by making their campaign completely Vetted and safe to donate. It will all go to Tahrir's family.

@ghada-hassan

Help me and my child for treatment in Egypt [ https://gofund.me/05447279 ] vetted by @emperorpalpatittay €3,819/€20,000 19% of goal

@ibrahim-family

Help Ibrahim's family escape the Gaza war

[ https://gofund.me/566e9560 ] €2,449/€10,000

This fundraiser has been vetted by

gazavetters, as number 25 on their spreadsheet

@lanamohanad7

Save My Family:Support my fathers treatment and a dignified life

[https://chuffed.org/project/113891-help-lana-trough-these-dark-days-in-gaza ] €4,151/€25,000

Vetted by nabulsi el-shab-hussein

@abdalhadyhisham

Rebuilding Hope For My Family And Saving Them $6,560 CAD/$65,000

[ https://gofund.me/c5ae7561 ]

Vetted by gazavetters number #2 on the spreadsheet

@rozfamily

Urgent Appeal: Support a Family to Escape the War €10/€30,000

[ https://gofund.me/760b1962 ]

Vetted by gazavetters , number verified on the list is ( #215 ) this campaign is a URGENT one only donation came in was 29 minutes ago so this is fairly new camping

@hashem1979

Help Hashem's Family Escape Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/8cbb02e4 ] $4,498/$60,000

not vetted, donation protected

@hanan-alsalout

Donate to Save Hanan Al-Salout's Family in Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/b905b50e ] $2,689/$20,000 13% to goal

Vetted by gazavetters, number verified on the list is ( #152 )

@fattmawurd1234

Help me to support my family in Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/b5bbdf38 ] $8,884 CAD/$50,000 18% to goal

not vetted, donation protected

@linagaza0

Support Family escape from rafah to save place [ https://gofund.me/4f077ab2 ] €44,218/€60,000 74% to goal

This is Lina's new account. She is a friend of Mohiy's. Mohiy was vetted by 90-ghost

@yazanfamily2

Save My Family from the War Nightmare in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/f6d17b3e ] €16,753/€50,000 34%

vetted by 90-ghost and northgazaupdates2

@mohameed12

Urgent Call: Support for My Family in Gaza €4,868/€100,000 5% to goal [https://gofund.me/3ae3669e ]

not vetted, donation protected

@classydelusionbread

To survive and rebuild our life and home

€475/€40,000 1% to goal

[ https://gofund.me/eb1d4499 ]

not vetted, donation protected

@ibrahem-4

Help Ibrahim's family get out of Gaza

[ https://gofund.me/71b0875f ]

€62/€30,000 2% to goal

Vetted by gazavetters list at #12

Anonymous

Help Mohammed Rebuild His Home And Complete His Education $1,245/$25,000 5% to goal

[ https://gofund.me/dda53725 ]

campaign is vetted by association. They are (132 on the Bees and Watermelons verified fundraiser list, shared by 90-ghost, #255 on the verified fundraiser sheet vetted by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi)

@jawad331

Bring Hope to Fayrouz's Family in an active war

[ https://gofund.me/32a089cc ]

$3,274/$30,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

@aahedanqarfamily

Help Ahed and his family get through this war in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/b22186a7]

€3,828/€40,000

not vetted, donation protected

@nedaaabd

Donate to Help Abed Family servive Gaza Genocide [ https://chuffed.org/project/115275-donate-to-help-abed-family-servive-gaza-genocide]

€5/€50,000

Vetted by 90-ghost

@mohammedaldeeb

Help Us Escape the Ravages of War: Emergency Evacuation Fund [ https://gofund.me/8906146e ] €44,372/€55,000 82% to goal

Vetted by 90-ghost various others

@anas--ahmed and @anasbasilps

Help Anas & Ahmed rebuild their future in Gaza [ https://gofund.me/32e5e95e ]

Vetted by 90-ghost and gazavetters, official (list at #83) €3,777/€29,000

@eslamfamily4

Help Eslam Save Her Family

[ https://gofund.me/1ac71cbc ]

not vetted, donation protected $17,952/$50,000

@hazem-suhail

Help my family survive and start a new life

[ ht

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 8

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warnings: Language   Word Count: 5k Author Notes: okay, I feel like this is lowkey a filler chapter 😭. but I like it so idk lmao. so much has happened since I last updated. I quit my old job, got a new one (that's kicking my ass. pray for me) had my bday and saw Beyonce 3 times!! but yeah as always sorry for the delay, hope you like the chapter and feel free to lmk what you thought!!! I loooove feedback and y'alls commentary!!! makes my damn day!! have fuuuuuun~!

You come to the following morning from what is possibly the best sleep you’ve gotten in years. A yawn escapes you as you stretch your tender body.

The action has you aware of something not moving around you, and you glance down to see a heavy arm thrown over your waist. As if the owner of the limb can sense your attention, it constricts, pulling you closer to a heat behind you.

Startled, you tense up, not even daring to breathe as you carefully roll onto your back and then turn your head the rest of the way until you’re knocking your nose gently against Chanyeol’s.

He’s in a deep slumber. Gentle snores leave his slightly parted lips, and his features are relaxed. He looks so peaceful, so serene, so…content. It melts your heart. You can’t help but stare at him, noticing the way his silky tawny hair falls across his pillow and the stubble poking out of his chin that grew in from the night before.

The night before….

Your eyes widen at the reminder and you’re sitting straight up, causing Chanyeol’s arm to fall limply on your lap.

Oh, you’ve really done it now.

Chanyeol stirs, and you think you’ve woken him, but he just rolls onto his other side, revealing his naked back to you.

Harsh rows of red raised skin catch your attention–the proof of how good a lover he is. Even though you know to some men, Chanyeol included, the scratches are a badge of honor, you only feel remorse from causing him pain.

His lack of clothing has you aware of your current state of undress and you quickly pull the thin sheet over your chest. It’s a silly action. Chanyeol’s sleeping, but even if he was awake, he’s seen your breasts plenty of times, had them in his goddamn mouth last night for christ’s sake.

Still, you must at least try to preserve some dignity.

You dare another glance at the man beside you, as if he’s a figment of your imagination that will vanish once you’re in your right mind. He doesn’t go away, so you must be really out of it.

Groaning, you drop your head, hitting your forehead repeatedly with the palm of your hand.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Fucking your ex fiance was the last thing you had planned to do on this trip. Getting closure? Sure. Making peace? The least you could have done. Now? Things have become even more complicated. Which is pretty impressive given everything that has transpired over the last couple days. And Yerim…. God, Yerim. She hasn’t even been gone twenty-four hours and you��ve already jumped her man’s bones. Sure, he was yours first, but it’s the principle of the thing.

Shit, maybe you are the problem.

As if you aren’t already about to dive in a pool of panic, a memory from the night before decides to reveal itself. The knowledge has you gasping, staring unseeingly ahead of you in terror.

Did you tell Chanyeol you loved him?

Oh, god. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, you gotta get out of here.

Feeling nauseous, you stumble out of the bed, crumbling to the ground the minute you put weight on your legs. Your bambi legs are a byproduct of Chanyeol’s pleasurable menstrations, having you literally weak in the knees. You shake your head and push through the slight throbbing of your core, standing carefully on shaky legs. Chanyeol chooses this moment to toss back around so that he’s facing you again. The arm that was around you earlier flops forward to reclaim its position, but lands on egyptian cotton instead. His eyebrows scrunch together as his hand idly runs over the empty space–searching for you. Feeling bad, you pull down a pillow. His fingers find it and yank it towards him, curling into it like a toddler with his favorite teddy bear. Your name leaves his mouth in a content breath, and all the turmoil in you dissipates for a moment. Maybe you’re overreacting? Yerim won’t be too mad, right? And Chanyeol still wants you, right? Last night meant something to him?

Did it mean something to you?

You can’t even think about that right now. Truth is you have no idea where you stand, and are even more confused than before the wedding. You’ve blurred the lines and anything can mean anything.

What you do know is that you need to leave, and you need to do it before Chanyeol wakes up. You can’t face him right now, not before you understand your emotions and actions.

“Focus,” you order yourself. You scan the floor that is now a mess of discarded garments, and a shimmer of gold catches your eye. You snatch it up, only to find it’s Chanyeol’s tie. You stare at it, remembering the way he demanded you to undress him, and drop it like it shocked you, shivering from the memory. That is definitely not what you’re looking for. 

There. A little further you find your dress and underwear. You slide them on quickly, not bothering to zip up your dress. You’re only going a few doors down, so you only hold it against your chest.

Despite telling yourself to focus, you can’t stop thinking about your confession. Obviously it was the lust speaking, the nostalgia. Yeah, that’s all that was.

Chanyeol never said it back.

The epiphany straightens your back, and you startle as you lock eyes with yourself in the floor length mirror directly in front of you. The woman before you is tragic, her hair poofy and stiff, eyes rimmed black, face puffy and nose still red from crying. You look like the clown you are.

You shudder, truly haunted, and head out. You pause by the door to slip into your shoes and grab your purse. Your heels have a buckle, but you can’t risk wasting any more time, so you don’t bother securing them. 

You open the door and a choir of angels begin to sing.

Their joyous voices die with a record scratch at the sight of Byun Baekhyun standing on the opposite end, fist up as though he’s about to knock.

You can’t catch a break.

He takes you in, visibly shocked. He says your name in a dramatic loaded question and you wince at his volume, bouncing off the walls. Damn, this is not good.

“What are you doing here?” He asks accusingly.

You quickly peek over your shoulder, checking to see if your new visitor is loud enough to wake Chanyeol. He doesn’t stir, and you can’t fight the pride that blooms in you. You wore that man out!

Shaking the emotion off, you turn back to Mr. Loud Mouth in front of you.

“Hush,” you hiss, shoving him back with the arm not currently holding both your dress, and what little you have left of your sanity, together. You make sure the door closes with a gentle ‘click’ before grabbing Baekhyun’s arm, dragging him the couple doors down to your suite. He yelps and asks where you’re ‘kidnapping’ him. It’s easy to ignore his helpless cries with the obnoxious sound of your heels slapping against your feet. 

Once in front of your door, you dig through your purse for your key, forgetting you didn’t secure your dress. The top half flutters down, titties basking in the breeze.

You freeze, eyes closing tightly as you bite your bottom lip so hard you think you’re going to bite it off. Your only saving grace is that Baekhyun is behind you, obscuring his view of your private bits.

You hear him huff in annoyance before he’s brushing your hair out of the way, gathering your dress, zipping it up as far as it can go with your arms not in the sleeves.

“Thank you,” you whisper, face burning in shame. Dejectedly, you find the key and get you both in. You kick your clacky shoes off, not wanting to draw unwanted attention, and lead Baekhyun to your room. You rest your forehead against the door as you close it, giving yourself a moment to just breathe.

Once you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re good, you turn around and face your friend. He’s taken residence in your vanity chair, searching your frazzled figure with worry. You can only imagine what you must look like from his point of view.

Finally, he musters the courage to speak. “You look….”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Okay…. Would you care to explain why you were running out of Chanyeol’s room like you robbed him? In your wedding clothes, no less, first thing this morning?”

You rub your eyes. To be honest, no, you didn’t want to have this conversation. Especially with Baekhyun. No offense to the guy, you adore him, but he’s not really known for taking things seriously. Except… right now it does appear he’s taking this situation very seriously. Although there is a hint of playfulness in his tone, you can’t see any of it on his face, only genuine concern.

Defeated, you sigh and march to your bed, plopping down onto the edge to bury your face in your hands.

“We had sex.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” he answers sarcastically. You glare at him through your fingers. He grins in reply, but it’s soft, reassuring, letting you know that everything will be okay.

It slips from his face as a thought occurs to him. “You weren’t drunk, were you?”

You shake your head and he lets out a relieved breath.

“Quite the opposite. It was probably the most sober decision I’ve made this whole trip.”

“So, what went wrong?”

“I just….” You recall your confession and wince, stomach flipping with embarrassment. “We ended up running into each other in the elevator and went to his room. We were only supposed to talk. But, I don’t know. You know the wedding was a lot for us both. And this trip has been very stressful and tense and we haven’t been alone since we got here and maybe that was for good reason because obviously we couldn’t handle that if–”

“You’re rambling,” he interrupts.

You take a deep breath. 

“I told him I loved him,” you push out before you can regret admitting it. It sounds even worse spoken out loud.

“And?” He asks, skeptically.

You blink in surprise at his reply. “And he, well, he didn’t say it back.”

You avoid his gaze and bring your knees to your chest and nibble on your thumbnail anxiously, waiting for Baekhyun’s response to the new detail. You must have rendered him speechless, because he remains silent. Either that, or he’s trying to figure out the best way to let you down on Chanyeol’s behalf. That makes you stiffen your shoulders, bracing yourself for the cold dose of reality. It never comes, and his lack of response drags until you think you’re going to explode.

Finally, you whip your head up to him exasperatedly just to see him looking at you like you’re the dumbest bitch he’s ever seen.

“What?” You snap, hating how condescending his expression is.

He rolls his eyes at your tone and lets out a laugh coated in disbelief, rubbing his forehead. “I love you, but you’re stupid.”

“I know,” you sulk, pouting as you rest your chin on your knees. “I wasn’t thinking straight, obviously. I got too caught up in the moment. Being with him like that, it brought me back to the good ol’ days, when we were falling in love. But, we’re not in college anymore. We’re not the same people we were when we were together.”

You furrow your brows, really trying to untangle your thoughts. It’s a lot easier to do with someone to look at.

“That’s what it is. I mean, how can I still love a man I don’t know? I can still have lingering feelings for the man I used to know, though. Maybe having sex was a good thing? All that leftover tension between us can finally rest. Yeah, that’s what last night was–left over tension. Now that we’ve done the deed, we should be good now. Sure, we still need to have a talk, there’s still some things we need to address to fully move on, but I think the hardest part has passed.”

You search your friend’s face for the right answer. “Right?”

His lips thin and then he’s sighing. “Do you want to know what I think?”

You nod miserably, thoughts too chaotic to decipher any logic.

Baekhyun stands up and walks over to you, reaching out to rub your arms comfortingly. In a gentle murmur he says, “I think you need some breakfast.”

A surprised chuckle leaves you as you lean forward, resting your forehead against his stomach. “You’re probably right.”

You relax under his touch, and you both stay like that. His hands go from your shoulders to your back, rubbing soothing circles onto your skin. The repetitive trail makes you drowsy.

The door swings open.

“I thought I heard you co–OH MY GOD!”

Seulgi stands dumbfounded at the door, the hand not frozen on your door knob covers her hanging jaw. Shock coloring her face as she takes in the compromising sight before her.

Baekhyun stumbles quickly away from you, tripping over his feet in his haste.

“It's not what it looks like!” You defend. That’s literally the worst line you can possibly say to her.

“What the hell!” She squeaks. “What the fuck is happening right now!?”

“We were just about to get something to eat!” Baekhyun says, as if that explains anything.

“HUH?!” Seulgi starts fanning her reddening face. She turns to you, not even going to humor him. “Look, I know this weekend has been rough for you. I understand you wanting to distract yourself by getting underneath someone. But, to sleep with Baekhyun of all people–”

“Hey!” The man in question barks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Seulgi, please,” you beg. Crawling off the bed, you stumble over to her. “That’s not what happened at all!”

Your words go through one ear and out the other as she glares at Baekhyun, who’s shivering in his metaphorical boots under her judging stare. “I can’t believe you would do this! Chanyeol is your best friend! Do you not care how this will affect him when he finds out?”

“We didn’t do anything,” you plead.

“Then explain what I just walked into! Explain why you look a damn mess! And are those–are those hickeys?”

“I HAD SEX WITH CHANYEOL!” You yell in her face.

“I–wait, what?” You can see the internal conversation she’s having with herself as she tries to comprehend what you just confessed to her. When your words have meaning, a look of sheer horror contorts her lovely features.

“You didn’t.” Her voice is low, threateningly so.

You gnaw at your bottom lip, even more anxious than when Baekhyun was questioning you. 

Your silence is an admission and she yells your name accusingly.

“I know!” You agree. “Please, I know!”

“I don’t understand. How? Why? I thought you were over him, or at least trying to be. I–”

“Hey,” Baekhyun cuts her off, joining your little party. He rests a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s let her take a shower and get into some clothes that don’t have cum stains on them. Then we can get breakfast. She can explain everything then.”

“There’s no cum on my dress,” you mumble with a frown.

“I know Chanyeol’s kinks,” Baekhyun says. You huff in defeat.

Seulgi’s cat shaped eyes bounce back and forth between you both skeptically. You can see all the questions she has running through her pretty head.

“Alright,” she reluctantly agrees. “Hurry and get ready. I’m starving.”

You have a feeling it’s not food she’s hungry for.

Baekhyun leads her out of your room, throwing you an apologetic look, and you wonder how many more times he’s going to look at you like that.

Nearly an hour later, you find yourself in a little unassuming mom and pop restaurant. Baekhyun’s grandmother lives on the island, so he knows all the local hot spots. The ajumma serving you is absolutely thrilled to see him, promising to put a bit more love in your food, which you can definitely taste upon your first bite. It is exactly what you need after the active night you’ve had.

“Yerim made it home safely,” Seulgi informs, not glancing up from her plate as she does.

Your lips thin at the mention of her sister, knowing she’s bringing her up on purpose.

You didn’t need her reminder. Yerim has been on your mind all morning.

“Yeah?” You finally answer. “Glad to hear. I’m sure she’ll hate me for good once she finds out what I did right after she left.”

“She’ll get over it,” Baekhyun is quick to dismiss.

“She’ll forgive you,” Seulgi allows. “But she’ll never forget.”

Leaning back, she finally gives you a sharp look. “What happened last night anyway?”

Luckily, you just so happen to scoop some food into your mouth when she asks that, so you take advantage and slow down your chewing. Aiming to enjoy every last bit, because you know it’s going to be the last time you’ll be able to. You swallow it down with some water, for good measure, taking your time chugging it empty. 

Seulgi watches in amusement, knowing what game you’re playing.

“Well,” you start, scratching behind your ear. “As you both already know, Chanyeol and I hooked up last night.”

“Hooked up?” Seulgi clarifies incredulously. It’s an interesting choice of words to describe what the two of you did.

Beside her, Baekhyun shakes his head, but keeps his opinions to himself, allowing you the floor.

“Yeah. And I want to say, for the record, that it was spontaneous. We just so happened to bump into each other when I was on my way back to the room. He asked me if I wanted to go to his room instead and I said yes–innocently! We were planning on just talking. And I mean, we did talk a bit?”

“Did you talk about Yerim?” Seulgi asks.

“No….” You avoid her stare and sink into your chair.

“Did you talk about your breakup?”

“No….”

Her eyes narrow. “So, what did you talk about?”

“About the wedding,” you answer like it’s obvious.

“And now it all makes sense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You pout.

“The two of you have been tiptoeing around each other all weekend. I thought it was just the awkwardness of seeing an ex–in your case, an ex dating your friend. But I misread it. Now it’s pretty obvious that if it weren’t for Yerim, you would’ve probably slept with him sooner. It wasn’t awkwardness I felt, it was tension…the sexual kind.”

Your frown deepens. Were you seriously that weak? You thought you did a pretty damn good job resisting Chanyeol, but it only took three days to fall into his sheets. That wasn’t very strong of you at all. Seulgi is right. Yerim was the main reason for you keeping your distance, not your pride or your past. She had only been gone a few hours before you gave into him.

“Does that make me a terrible person?” You quietly ask.

“I don’t think so,” Baekhyun answers simply, shrugging when you lock eyes.

“It doesn’t,” Seulgi agrees, although she lets out a tired sigh right after. “But I still don’t understand why? It’s been years, girl, and you’ve never mentioned him once in that time. It’s been a while since you got laid, and even longer since it was with Chanyeol. Old habits die hard, and you didn’t get the closure you wanted, but sleeping with your ex seems so out of character for you.”

“He’s not just some ex, Seulgi,” Baekhyun intervenes. “He’s her ex fiance, and they didn’t break up on bad terms, necessarily. There’s still love there.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you interject, shifting in your seat uncomfortably. 

“So, it was just an old attraction? Old habits and all that?” Seulgi asks.

“I think so,” you say and she seems to melt in relief. “I think it was just left over sexual tension, and now that we’ve got it out of our system, we can be normal. We can move on.”

Baekhyun doesn’t seem convinced. “And you’re sure Chanyeol will agree with you?”

You shrug. “I don’t see why not. It was just sex.”

“It’s never ‘just sex’ with Chanyeol, and you know that. Especially when it comes to you.”

“You’d be surprised,” you mutter, mood dampening at the memory.

He doesn’t hear you. “And I know you’re lying. Didn’t you tell him you loved him last night?”

You glare at Baekhyun and he answers it with a smug smile, knowing he just set you up.

“You did what now?” Seulgi asks deadpan.

Internally you wince. “I might have told him I loved him while in the throes of passion.”

She says your name disapprovingly. 

“And you know what? He didn’t say it back. So, you see? It was nothing more than physical for him as well.”

Seulgi looks as though she has some words for you, but Baekhyun beats her to the punch.

“You both drive me insane,” he groans. “It’s obvious you both still care about each other, what’s the point of trying to talk yourself out of it? It’s never too late to try again, and trust me when I say Chanyeol wants to more than anything. He’s already asked you for a second chance. He wants this! He wants you!”

“He said all that when he was drunk off his mind, Baekhyun.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true!”

You groan and lean your head back against your chair, feeling the pressure of the world falling onto your shoulders. It hits you then, the weight of Chanyeol’s affection, and for a moment you’re back on that sidewalk, drowning in it. You remember why you left, remember the moment your love for him twisted into something dark. Chanyeol said you told him you hate him. Truth is, you had. With him back in your life, you forgot about that, forgot that there was another reason why you were trying to avoid him. Again, everything is even more confusing, and you find yourself at a total loss of what to do next.

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by that,” Seulgi reassures. She knows you way more than you give her credit far. “Everything is happening so fast. You don’t have to make a decision right now, and honestly, I don’t think it’s wise for you to.”

You lift your head back up and take in your concerned friends. With the way they’re both sitting on either side of each other before you, it’s almost like they’re the angel and devil on your shoulders. One speaks for your heart, while the other speaks for your mind. Holding onto each of your hands and yanking you back and forth like a rope in tug-o-war. 

“I don’t know the right answer,” you whisper, feeling your eyes water in frustration.

“Whatever’s going to make you happy,” Baekhyun answers simply.

You cough a laugh and a tear escapes, but you’re quick to wipe it away.

“I think,” Seulgi begins, reaching over and grabbing your hand. “You should give each other space, and wait until you’re back in Seoul. It’s only a couple days, and it’ll give both of you time to figure out what exactly it is you want from each other. Do you have an idea of what that is? Is it a relationship? Closure? Or just physical connection?”

“I’m not sure,” you admit.

She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows. You understand. She’s right.

“That’s probably the best idea,” you relent.

Baekhyun grunts in disgust. “Doesn’t Chanyeol deserve a say in this?”

“Of course he does,” you say.

“But that’s a conversation for later,” Seulgi intrudes. “Preferably with others around.”

You lift your hands up in defeat. 

Now that your problem has been solved for now, you all go back to eating in a comfortable silence. Everything still tastes amazing, thank fuck.

Suddenly, Baekhyun straightens and turns to Seulgi. “What did you mean earlier anyways? When you said me of all people?”

She scoffs. “Besides the fact that you’re a weirdo? You’re Chanyeol’s best friend. If you had slept together, it would be the deepest betrayal to him. But, if she had slept with any of you, my reaction would be the same. The only other person I could possibly see her with is Sehun, and even then….”

“Ew,” you both finish.

“I love all of you,” you say. “But not like that.”

“It’s the same for me too!” Baekhyun admits. “I would never do that to Chanyeol, because I would never do that, period. Don’t ever put that disgusting idea in anyone’s head again!”

“No problem!” Seulgi says, resolute.

You finish breakfast soon after that and leave for the hotel. Today is the first day of your little             reunion tour. Sehun figured that everyone would be too hungover to do anything that required movement, so you’re all just going to hang out at the beach and watch the sunset. Sounds like the perfect Sunday to you.

You all left your phones in the car, so the first thing you do once buckled up is check your notifications, reading the texts in the groupchat confirming some of the others were heading out to the beach and the location they chose. Baekhyun winces as he scans his device, catching your attention. When you lock eyes, he gives you that pitiful smile, almost like a warning, before turning his screen for you to read. It’s filled with texts and missed calls from Chanyeol.

“Oh boy,” is all you can muster, trying not to linger too much on the only message you can read: ‘please. I’m begging’.

“What’s up?” Seulgi asks from the backseat. Baekhyun proceeds to show her his phone and she shakes her head in dismay.

“Should I call him?” He asks.

“No,” you’re quick to reply. Avoiding his gaze, you settle into your seat, staring blindly out the windshield. You feel him watching you for a moment before sighing and starting the car, pulling out to drive you back to the hotel.

The elevator ride is long. You wonder if Chanyeol will be in the hallway when it opens. Baekhyun leans against the wall, rapidly firing off texts the whole way up. It takes everything in you not to ask him what he’s telling Chanyeol to calm him down. 

The doors open, and you’re both relieved and crushed to enter an empty hall. Baekhyun walks you both to your room, which is polite, but you all know is a front. His room isn’t on this floor, and you don’t need him to walk you back.

“Where are you going?” You can’t help but to ask.

He grins guiltily and nudges his head towards Chanyeol’s room. “I’m going to check on him. That’s why I came up here in the first place.”

“Right….”

He pats your shoulder. “Get ready and head down to the beach. I’m sure you got Jongdae’s text in the groupchat. Both him and Jongin are already setting up camp.”

“Don’t take too long,” Seulgi says in farewell before pulling you into the suite.

As soon as the door closes, she’s holding you by the shoulders, staring deep into your eyes. “You can’t go back on your word now.”

“I’m not,” you say, cringing as the way it sounds like a lie.

Her grip on you tightens. “It’s all going to work out. Don’t get all sulky.”

“I’m not.”

She smiles. “You’re such a terrible liar. It’s kind of cute.”

“Stop flirting with me,” you sigh, grabbing her hands to hold them instead. “I’m going to take your advice. We need space.”

“Space,” she repeats approvingly, rubbing your knuckles with her thumbs.

Banging on your door causes you both to jump.

“Yeol, stop it! I already told you they’re not there!”

“I need to know for sure.”

You swallow thickly at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice.

You hear Baekhyun sigh and then Chanyeol call your name, which jerks you closer to the door. Seulgi grips your hands harder, holding you back. You lock eyes. She shakes her head in warning.

“Are you in there?” He pauses briefly, waiting for you to reply. You hold your breath, afraid in the silence he can hear your heart’s rapid beating. “Please, open the door, Mel. I just… I just need to see you.”

His voice is calm, but alarmed, as if he’s trying not to sound as desperate as he feels. He knocks again, the reps urgent, giving away the worry he’s trying to disguise.

“I just need you to tell me everything’s okay.” Now his voice cracks.

Fuck it. You can’t avoid him forever. You go to open the door, but Seulgi’s hold is surprisingly strong and you can’t break it.

“Space, remember?” She whispers.

You didn’t know that started now. 

Reluctantly, you relax, leaning your head on Seulgi’s shoulder. She wraps her arms around you, rubbing your back as you wait for Baekhyun to do his job in getting Chanyeol away.

“I can’t do this again, man,” Chanyeol’s broken voice comes through the door. “I can’t lose her again. Not like this.”

“I know, Dude.” Baekhyun sounds just as helpless, and a wave of guilt washes over you from putting him in this position. “But, she’s not in there. Let’s go to my room so I can change. It won’t take long, so don’t even think of ditching me!”

A silence drags on for so long you’re sure they’ve left. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun urges.

“I–okay. Let’s go.”

You hear them retreat and let out a breath.

Seulgi whistles. “Quite the mess you’ve made.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “You can say that again.”

“Hey,” She rubs your arm. “He’s going to be fine. Let’s change. I’m sure you’re now very eager to get down there.”

You let her lead you to your room. The whole time you can’t get over the pain in Chanyeol’s voice, a pain that you caused.

series m.list | main m.list

previous chapter | next chapter

taglist @byunparklimchoi, @defloey @notyuji @hisungovenaocare

[anophelei]

at best there genuinely isn't a meaningful function that this "pedohunter" callout shit serves. you know full fucking well that all forms of abuse are ignored and brushed aside, child abuse being worse, and csa being the most severely unaddressed of all. even if you think such crimes are the exception to prison abolition or death sentences, you know that law enforcement is criminally negligent in handling them, if they even fucking bother. and if they do bother in cases of csem/csam and online exploitation, they explicitly DO NOT make it a public as any form of public acknowledgement is detrimental to collecting evidence and establishing a case; if you sound the alarm you're simply giving an opportunity for people to cut and run while burning as much evidence as possible on the way out. THIS is WHY the fbi doesn't acknowledge anonymous tips, it would only end up being an easy way to confirm if you're being investigated.

at most all you can hope for in making a callout post is some small amount of community awareness, maybe helping keep people away from abusers, but there are a lot of fucking consequences in doing so holy shit. first, it signals that it's time to ditch and set back up elsewhere; if someone online is looking into it then you can be sure as shit law enforcement is at least aware of the situation, ESPECIALLY when you explicitly make note of NOTIFYING THE FBI AND LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT ??? I'm sorry you didn't get a fucking medal for recording and cataloguing shit, but you most likely didn't even have to do that and doing so hinders investigations given how long that takes, you don't have the resources or jurisdiction so you've just delayed any investigation from people who do.

second, even IF you handle everything perfectly and with the delicacy something like this requires, you are further traumatising the victims and retraumatising survivors by blasting the very real abuse and exploitation they've suffered through into the public sphere, quite literally showcasing it with the goal of as many people as possible seeing it. you are not going to do that though, you're going to fuck it up in some way, and this whole situation is clear proof of that. the ways in which toonimal has been handled irresponsibly are too many to fucking count, and the sheer negligence and lack of care has resulted in victims' information being readily available. Even if no direct harm comes as a result of the spotlight you've placed on the victims and where and how to find them, being exposed as a victim before you've even come to terms with it yourself, not to mention the painful processes necessary to fully acknowledge what was done to you, and then to be ready to talk about it after, IS REALLY GOD DAMN FUCKING TRAUMATISING. you are forcing victims through years of pain and confusion and grief and loss without even the slightest consideration of what that might be like, and this isn't the type of thing where biting the bullet is necessary or at all helpful. in reality, pushing victims to reconcile with realisations that will haunt them for the rest of their lives is only likely to result in denial, you are directly hindering victims from recovery and pushing them CLOSER to their abusers, who WILL capitalise on their conflicted emotional state to isolate them further and draw them closer.

If it doesn't stop the abuse and it doesn't help victims, the only thing it could be doing is making you feel good about yourself for your catastrophically misguided attempt at sticking it to LITERAL CHILD ABUSERS, which is the most patently fucking pathetic shit you could ever hope to accomplish. what you care about is your own deluded notion of getting the bad guy, and this is only further evidenced in every single person who responds to and shares your pitiful self aggrandizement frothing at the mouth and chomping at the bit over how badly they want to kill these sick freaks, how righteous they are for that, and how far beneath them the degenerate monsters are.

yeah, child abusers are fucking bad people, you're not special for thinking so, and you're not accomplishing ANYTHING when you dehumanise them purely for the sake of posturing. you only manage to make it patently fucking obvious that you hold both yourself and the people who sexually abuse children to be more important than the victims could ever be.

you truly cannot comprehend the idea of even considering us, of acknowledging us as anything more than an abstract concept only significant in the fact that we have determined someone to be guilty. I'm an adult, I've been in mental health care for quite literally half my life, I can handle your callous disregard for what was done to me and the countless, immeasurable ways in which it affected me.

A child can't.

Maybe you should ask yourself why you've never once reacted with grief for the victims, have only ever considered crucifying sinners. Why you've never cared to – or even considered the possibility of – learning the ways to recognise when a child is being abused, the potential to help them recognise if something is being done to them, to realise it if so. It might actually help someone, and it's not like calling for heads on the fucking internet could ever hope to accomplish anything. Give up the pretentions of giving a single shit about us and maybe actually do it for once in your life.