#deity in the cafe m!a 9 asks

[thegodofhealth]

it is something and nothing and everything at once and it has always been and will never be!! it could or could not be butter!!! its better than the butter of Viscera in my opinion !! %)

-🌀🚪❔️🕳

" WHo'S MAKING BUTTER OF ORGANS-? "

[sourcherrybomb]

The SoKai Denny’s AU:

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Grand Slam

Synopsis: After a long and arduous day at work, Sora brings Kairi to the local Denny's to unwind and have a pleasant meal. But of course, things go to shit.

Sneak Peek: “Kairi… You’re not thinking straight…” I said as I slowly raised my hands towards my girlfriend. “Please, I just want to talk. Just put down the-”

But my words landed on deaf ears as she quickly rushed at me, a syrup-drenched butter knife in hand.

Tags: Romance, Denny's, F/M, Food

Words: 2.5k+

Fanart / Graphic by: @blissfulnightrain @the-secret-place

[OCTOBER 31, 2020 - 9:09PM]

Please just give us the details on the incident right before we arrived.

“Kairi… You’re not thinking straight…” I said as I slowly raised my hands towards my girlfriend. “Please, I just want to talk. Just put down the-”

But my words landed on deaf ears as she quickly rushed at me, a syrup-drenched butter knife in hand. Before I could even process which way she swung her weapon, I jumped backwards. Grabbing the butter knife that Kairi had previously knocked out of my hand from the ground, I blocked her attack.

In Kairi’s eyes, I saw the rage of a thousand beasts. Wild, untamed, and out for blood.

Around the two of us, as the cool autumn winds blew past us, an onlooking crowd gasped. Whether it be in fear or amazement, I’ll never know. However, what I did understand is the confusion that they all share and the one question everyone asked:

Why the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks are these two people having a knife fight in a Denny’s parking lot?

[OCTOBER 31, 2020 - 6:27PM]

Care to explain to details as to how she broke into this rage?

Of course.

Kairi headed out to her job at the cafe hours ago, being called into work due to the Halloween rush. She was hesitant at first since it was her day off, but she reluctantly left anyways because she knew the extra pay would help out with rent later in the month.

As for me, I didn’t have work today, so I was home for most of the day doing my usual routine. This is usually made up of playing video games, doing housework, and bothering my friend, Riku. But today I had decided to surprise Kairi by cooking dinner for her when she got home!

Great plan, yeah? I thought so too, right up until I realized I had ruined the spaghetti I made by burning the sauce... and somehow also the pasta? Like I didn’t even know that was possible, but somehow I did it?

I swear, the smell was bad enough to make a rat gag.

By the time I realized I had messed up, I knew it’d be too late. In the middle of my mad scramble to clean up the kitchen and get rid of any evidence, Kairi walked into our apartment.

Now I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid. I took one look at Kairi and could tell that she was not having any of it. Her work uniform was disheveled and covered in various stains and crumbs. Kairi’s thumbs were fidgeting with the hem of her work shirt. When I looked into her tired, glazed over eyes, I saw a seething flame within them.

It was like a ticking time bomb in the shape of my girlfriend.

“Sora…” Kairi said tiredly. “Were you trying to cook? Again?”

I laughed nervously, shamefully resting a sauce pan into the sink. “I knew you’d be tired from work, so I wanted to make sure you could at least eat something when you got home!” I dried my hands and signaled Kairi towards me. Following suit, she practically kicked the shoes off her feet as she walked towards me.

“Dude, I love you,” she said this as she slumped into my arms. “But please stop burning things in our kitchen.”

“Sorry…” Slumping further into my arms, it was like she was melting. I had to sort of prop her against our kitchen counter in order for me to keep on carrying her. “Listen, let me at least make it up to you.”

“How?” Kairi looked up at me, the fire in her tired eyes dying down a bit.

“I was thinking of bringing you out somewhere to eat while we let the apartment air out…”

“It does smell like a burnt down Pizza Hut in here.” Kairi sighs as she traded her flats for sneakers. “Where were you thinking of taking us?”

I opened up my phone and pulled up my bank account.

Available Balance: $365.13

“Let’s just say I’m looking for a place that’s budget-friendly”

“Oh thank god,” Kairi said. “I can wear sweatpants and not give a crap.”

“Exactly!” I let go of Kairi and started to dump the burnt mass of pasta into our trash bin. “You take a load off and dress into more comfy clothes while I get rid of… this.”

[OCTOBER 31, 2020 - 7:16PM]

You know, bad days at work don’t usually cause people to attempt a stabbing.

Trust me… If it was just the bad shift, I’d agree.

Normally when I bring my girlfriend to the local Denny��s, it’s surprisingly not a bad time. Our friend Olette works as the hostess there, so we can usually get our seats pretty quickly. I usually get a Grand Slam to get my fix on pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage. It’s a combo that always hits the spot when it’s 3AM, I’m hyper-aware of the world around me, and Riku is trying to find someone to take home on Sparklr. Kairi usually gets a Hammy & Cheese Omelette, mainly because she prefers the pancakes at IHOP. I always like to joke about giving her a Grand Slam once we get home.

Tonight was not the night to make those kinds of jokes. It was like the gods themselves had it out for my girl tonight.

7:45PM: Kairi and I arrived at Denny's and were told that Olette took the night off due to a cold. We were told that the wait would be close to half an hour.

8:02PM: Kairi’s left earbud died as the toddler next to us started bawling as she sang the ‘Baby Shark’ song. Mother of the child in question was too busy flirting with a busboy 20 years her junior to quiet her child.

8:07PM: Kairi dropped 27,000 Jewels in JHUX gacha trying to get a SN++ Illus. JH III Zola. All the medals obtained were ones that had been out of the meta for months.

8:17PM: Kairi and I were finally seated. Our table had sticky spots from syrup and crumbs on the seats. We asked our waitress, Asheleigh, if someone could come clean this up. The two of us were met with an unenthusiastic “Uhhh, sure?” as she called over a clearly stoned janitor. He sprayed the table once, wiped it once, and knocked the crumbs off the seats. Asheleigh took our orders with a sigh.

When I looked over at Kairi, I could tell the last half hour had done a number to her. An hour ago her anger was already near its boiling point, but now… It was like the seething fire within her eyes had evolved into a star about to burst into a supernova.

A beautiful sight indeed, but also one of pure destruction on a cosmic level.

“So Kai…” I nervously said. “Looking forward to the weekend?”

Her hands folded on the table, Kairi’s dead but fiery eyes staring out the window.

“...yes.”

C’mon man, think! I thought to myself. Anything to take her mind off this fustercluck of a situation!

“So I don’t know if you heard about this at work, but looks like JH: Master of Melodies is gonna have a preorder bonus!”

Silence.

“Y-Yeah, turns out if we get it over at Game Central Station, you get a couple bonus songs that would have been DLC! Isn’t that great?”

“...preorder exclusivity bonuses force game developers to split content amongst greedy retailers, alienating groups of consumers from experiencing the game at its 100% value.” Kairi says in a deadpan.

Crap, she’s being critical about video games... I thought to myself. Now I know I’m never gonna get through to her… Why can’t this food come any—

“Soooo I have your food.” Our waitress said, as she hastily put our plates on the table. “A Grand Slam for the spiky haired dude and a Hammy & Whatsits Omelette for his lady. Enjoy, or whatever.”

“Thank you…” I awkwardly said as I thanked whatever deity heard my prayers. “Well Kai, time to dig in!”

Silently, Kairi cut into her omelette and brought a piece over to her mouth. As if it were on cue, the food fell from the fork and onto her pants. She nonchalantly picked it off her pants and shoved it into her mouth, the look in her eyes somehow becoming even more dead.

I let out a deep exhale and started to stuff my pancakes in my face. I didn’t even notice that I held my breath in. I was honestly just quite relieved that Kairi didn’t explode then and there. We could finally just sit down, eat our food, and take a load off.

[OCTOBER 31, 2020 - 9:01PM]

Man, she really went through the ringer.

Honestly, I’m surprised she didn’t go feral sooner.

Luckily for the both of us, the incident with the fallen food was the only thing that got in the way of our meal. I was able to finish my Grand Slam and Kairi was able to scarf down her Hammy and Cheese Omelette. Looking at her face, I saw that some of the restrained rage in her eyes had been replaced with a much more tired aura.

“Hey Kai…” I softly put my hand on hers. “How ya doing?”

Sighing, she gently put my hand to her cheek. “I… I just want to get home, lie down, and forget today happened.”

After giving her a small peck on the cheek, I smiled. “That can be arranged! Now c’mon, let’s just hand this bill over and head out of here.”

But things are never simple as they seem to be.

Just as Kairi and I got out of our chairs, an ear-piercing “Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,” came rushing down the aisle. Out of nowhere, Baby Shark Toddler bumped into Kairi, spilling the milkshake in her tiny hands all over Kairi’s legs.

“Oh sonova- Hey you!” Just steps away from the child, her mother called to us. She talked and walked with the cadence of a woman ready to chew out a teen part-timer at their first job. “Just what do you think you’re going to do about this?”

“Excuse me?” I asked in obvious confusion. “I’m pretty sure your daughter was the one who bumped into my-”

“Wasn’t talking to you, Spiky!” she snapped. “Listen up, Red, I want some recompense for my kid’s spilled drink! You think that cheap manager is gonna give me another one for free?”

“Hey now, names are uncalled for!” I retorted. “And not like it’s our fault your daughter ran into my- Kairi?”

A quiet but powerful groan escaped Kairi’s mouth, cutting me off. Her formerly clenched hands had started to crookedly flex open and contort. The tiredness in her eyes died away, being left with the energy of the ticking time bomb.

One that was seconds away from levelling a building.

“A��pologize,” Kairi said in a shaky voice. “Riiiiight. Now.”

“Apologize?” The woman mockingly laughed in her face. “Why woul-”

Before I or any of the onlookers realized, Kairi had the mother pinned down to the ground, a butter knife held to her throat. “APOLOGIZE! APOLOGIZE YOU-”

“KAIRI HOLY MOTHER OF-” As soon as my brain caught up with my eyes, I ripped Kairi off the mother and made space between them. When I turned around, I saw the woman crawling away in a frenzy, trying to escape like a dog walking with its tail between their legs.

“AaAAAaaaaaRrhrrhhgg…” A nearly inhuman growl came out of Kairi’s mouth, the grip on her butter knife tightening. When I looked into her eyes, I understood.

In removing the rude mother from the equation, I had become the focus of Kairi’s blinding rage.

“Kairi…” I slowly raised my hands towards her. “I know you’ve been through a lot today. The car is right outside. I can take you back right now, all you need to do is calm-”

“AAAAaAAaAAaaa!” Lunging at me like a mad dog, Kairi let out a guttural yell.

This is because I told her to calm down, isn’t it? I asked myself mid-dodge. Before a second thought could even pop into mind, Kairi spun into another attack from her lunge. I rolled backwards to dodge the attack, and picked up a butter knife off the table to defend myself with. After all, it was the best I could do right now. With how fast and unpredictably Kairi was moving, my only options were to dodge fast enough, or block if I was too slow.

It was like I was defending myself against a dancing blender with a knife.

Before I knew it, Kairi’s vicious attacks and my continuous defense brought us back to the entrance of the Denny’s.

And into the parking lot.

[OCTOBER 31, 2020 - 9:32PM]

“And right before your girlfriend was able to stab you with the butter knife, we arrived-”

“And tased her, yes.” I respond. “Officer Lockheart, I understand you were doing it for my safety, but I’m honestly still super concerned for Kairi.”

“And that is completely understandable,” she responds. “I can assure you that the officer that took her in exercised the most caution as effectively possible when using the taser.”

“Thank you. Is it possible to see her now?”

“The shock seemed to bring her back to her senses, so her questioning seemed to go by smoothly.” Officer Lockheart taps a pen on her chin. “I suppose it would be fine.”

After signalling one of the other officers to open the door, the two of us walked out of the interview room. Down the hall, I see Kairi wrapped in a blanket, drinking from a cup of coffee. As soon as she notices me, she puts down the mug and rushes into a hug.

“Sora, oh my god I’m so sorry!” Kairi says as she nuzzles into my chest. “I-I just really lost myself and-”

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” I chuckle. “Honestly you’d give Riku a run for his money in a sparring match if you fought against him one-on-one!”

“I’ll let you two comfort each other for a bit,” Officer Lockheart tells us. “For now just stay here, I’ll see what the higher ups have to say about the situation.”

“Thanks, ma’am!” Kairi says back. Smiling and nodding, Officer Lockheart walks away.

For a while, the two of us sort of just sit in quiet. People who enter the room pay us no attention, but occasionally an officer would come up to us and ask if we needed anything. Other than that, it was just the two of us enjoying each other’s comfort.

“God, I really needed this,” Kairi tells me.

“Cuddling in a police station?” I question. “Or getting arrested for attacking people in a Denny’s”

“Jerk.” Kairi giggles as she flicks my forehead. “Nah, I mean just this! Me and you wrapped in a blanket.”

“Honestly I wish we could have done it back at the apartment. Luckily, by the time we get out of here, it should stop smelling like a I blew up a pizzeria.”

“That would have been nice in the moment, but when we get home I think I’d want something else.”

“Oh? What would that be?”

“Weeelll…” Kairi checks her surroundings, then leans towards my ear. “You never did make that Grand Slam joke of yours back at the Denny’s. Does that mean I won’t get one once we get back home?”

The whisper of her voice is enough to send a shiver down my back. I look into her eyes and instead of the rage or tiredness I saw before, I saw something much more… Carnal.

I give Kairi a peck on the lips and flash a mischievous smile.

Destiny Island Denny’s, we might never be allowed on your establishment ever again, which I understand.

But thank you for possibly the best Grand Slam of my life.

[thegodofhealth]

" .. UHM.. no..? I dunno you, sorry- "

“…”

“…’Kit? Is that you?”

— Scythe (@drifterduet)

" HAHA WHAT NO I DONT KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HOPE YIU CAN FIND HIM- THEM SOON HOWDOYOUKNOWWHOIAM "

they're scooted all the way to the other end of his chair..