#definitely too young to guide myself when she didn't have anything helpful to give me

[jediknightjameslunagazer23]

An Spiritual Comfort

Kira gazed up at the unfamiliar presence, despite how scared she was due to suddenly being pulled out of her own paitent room bed into... whatever this weird place was, she suddenly felt a sense of... relief...?

And she could feel a similar feeling of being held by some sort of motherly affection, a feeling she did not have since... since then, could it be--?

"Wh-Who are you...? I-Is what I'm sick with so bad that heaven has sent you as a angel to guide me up where my original family is? A-A-Are you somehow... my mom!?"

The being blinked in surprise and wonderment at the young girl for a moment, then let out a small soothing sort of giggle, the kind of giggle when a mother thought her child was asking a silly question.

"Not quite young one, only that what you're sick with besides from that at present is the loneliness that you feel whenever your adoptive brother isn't with you at times, so I figured you could use some company in the form of comforting spirit of pain relief, which is connected to what your own gift is, though you don't need to understand it right now young Kira Lunagazer."

Now Kira was even more confused! Just what was this... spirit going on about? Gift? She hadn't exactly been given any kind of gift recently, not since being adopted into her brother's family at the least.

"Okay, I'm definitely having some sorta bad dream aren't I? I mean I haven't exactly done much to receive anything as of late, aside from gifting some of my own pranks on others!"

She said that with a hint of pride, as sometime ago, she got a certain blonde-haired nurse to fall for her puppy dog eyes trick when trying to dodge her usual IV injections, unfortunately it didn't work on her partner Doctor who was with her, but he made sure it didn’t hurt quite as much, so she couldn't really be mad about that.

The spirit then giggled again, and then ruffled Kira's hair, causing the young girl to be surprised but also laugh in response, feeling as if this spirit shared her sense of humor and was rewarding her for it.

"I can certainly tell you are very mischievous indeed, not like most I have seen over the many who have come to wield my gift of pain relief, but that's not why I summoned you here, I can sense you're afraid of the big surgery you're about to have in about two days time, am I correct?"

Kira blinked in surprise, amazed that this spirit was somehow able to sense her emotions, but then nodded yes in sadness, holding her arm and looking away as if to try and hide tears from the spirit, but suddenly the spirit embraced her and spoke comfortingly again.

"Do not worry, there is nothing to be afraid of, by the blessing of my husband and I of the stars, the young Asclepiad in charge of your treatment will safely remove your affliction, and you'll be as fit as a sunflower ready to spread joy to others who are suffering just like you are!"

The spirit then looked to Kira who seemed to have calmed down slightly, and now Kira looked a bit curious, given what this spirit seemed to know, she had to ask.

"You mean Big Bro Derek? Are you saying his star power is the same as yours? A-Are you telling me... I have his power too!? H-How can I use it!? Can I use it to cure myself? Is it able to help me seek the answers to those horrible math questions I have on homework!?"

Kira just went on and on with glee and excitement, her eyes shining with wonder at the possibilities, though this was beginning to overwhelm the spirit with how many she asked, she eventually had to put her hand on Kira's lips to get her to stop and slow down!

"I can understand your excitement young one, but unfortunately that isn't what your gift is for or even able to do, besides you can ask these questions when we do meet again properly on your own accord next time."

The young girl blushed a little in embrassment, though she didn't need to give any apologies, somehow she felt the spirit understood and had already forgiven her.

"Now, it seems our time here in the Astral plane is running short, so I'll have to leave soon, but never forget this, even if your brother and his family aren't always present physically, their love and support shall always be with you in spirit no matter how far apart you may become, however if you ever feel lost or alone, call out with your heart and I will heed your call, may the stars of the night light your dreams, Kira Lunagazer."

"W-W-Wait!! Miss uh...Grandma-friendly-spirit!? I don't know your name!!"

The spirit looked in surprise upon hearing how she was addressed, it was just so funny to her she snorted and laughed before composing herself and then smiled warmly at Kira before everything began to fade out, holding Kira one last time as if to let her know she was still there and would always support her.

"You may know me... as Epione."

And with that... everything faded and Kira closed her eyes, falling into a rather peaceful sleep that night.

Just a bit of a one-shot story I kinda came up with on the fly in relation to this art, but yeah kinda wanted to do a Kira meeting Epione as a paitent for the first time and somewhat learning about her powers, though she's probably not certain if it was for real or even a dream to begin with, so yeah she still won't be exactly aware of what her powers do until much later.

So yeah, not much else to say, other than this takes place for in-between period during Chapter 8 of the Trauma Center Fan Manga when Kira's first admitted as a paitent and has to be treated by Derek, I'd figure that even with the support of Derek, Kira would still be a little bit scared of getting operated on for the first time, and it seems it was powerful enough to warrant Epione intervening.

I'll probably cover a full story of how Kira gets sick the first time and the events surrounding that as well as how James takes it, but other than that just kinda also did this to see about getting back into the groove of fanfics.

[yupuffin]

So many mixed thoughts today. Some of me being salty about certain things in my life turning out the way they did, and some of me being glad other things happened, specifically that Shigure and Dimitri happened when they did because I really needed them.

Just gotta remember my favorite quote from Wild Adapter: There’s no meaning in regret, no point in thinking about things I could’ve done -- because there’s no guarantee that any decision is the right one.

When variations of that sentiment appear in other media it always draws me in, like in KADO: “We’ll never know what was right -- and what was the right answer -- for our whole lives.” (That was in the 0th episode and I knew then for sure that KADO was going to be a hit with me. x’D)

Dimitri says something like that, too: we must protect the present, for it is all we truly have. Even Chris Hackney echoed the thought this past week on the portion of his stream I was able to attend when he spoke about how life has good parts and bad parts, but they all combine and amount to where we are now.

And today’s me is definitely in a much better place than I thought I’d be even a year ago!

[fleet-admiral-hiba]

I'M JUST SO TIRED

A/n: was it hard to go on? Do you ever feel anything else? Was it worth it, in the end?

Time flied by, the events of the past just faint memories. But your mind was left in shambles, and although you tried to recover, to heal both your spirit and your body, you were...tired. Tired of the pain, tired of feeling like a burden, you were just so...drained.

Zeno saw how life had been affecting you, and if he could he would have taken your pain. If only he could. He tried his best, being by your side everytime he could. He didn't waste air in nonsensical words, action spoke louder. He cradled your frail body in his arms, holding you tight. And you broke down, the weight of the last few years becoming harder to bear. He didn't mind the tears soaking through his tunic, all he cared for was your wellbeing.

He waited it out with you, not once letting you go. When the worst passed, he started to rub circles into your back, uncoiling the knots that had formed from the stress you went through. Not a word was said, but you knew he had you. For better or worse. "Thanks", you rasped. Your voice strained after crying that much.

You breathed deeply, inhaling his soothing scent to calm your frayed nerves. After a moment, you started to push yourself off of him, sitting up just close enough. There was a lot that needed to be cleared. But you were too tired to do that, but you couldn't sleep. You sat there, silently enjoying the company, and for the first time you felt...okay. " I...feel better, but I don't want to talk to the doctors. I don't...I don't trust them anymore", you carefully said. You didn't want to give away too much of your suffering, or you knew what soon was going to happen. But you were saying the truth. The doctors that followed you weren't all that reliable, and you found out that quickly,when your sister called you and almost tear you a new one. She was a doctor as well, but she couldn't believe what they did to you. She almost came to kill them personally.

"I.. spoke with Leandra, and...she said...." You went quiet again, not trusting your voice to say those tragic words. Zeno, for his part, waited patiently for you to open up. He was growing furious with what he heard, but he couldn't let his bloodlust get the best of him. "She said...that what they did...only prolonged my sufferings. That , if they...had been honest with us... I would have...recovered earlier... without problems...", You said, after a long pause.

Now, you definitely felt his bloodlust rising and quickly engulfing the entire room, if not the house entirely. You quickly fell on him, trying to calm him down , if only to breath easier. It wasn't easy and your breath became more labored, but eventually you managed to bring the rage in check, not without consequences. "Ash, I apologize. I didn't mean to let my rage get the best of me", he said, slowly guiding you through some breathing exercises he knew. Although you were left exhausted, you calmed down.

" I will deal with them myself. I apologize again for trusting those fools with your health. I hope you can forgive me for that mistake" , and you couldn't help but kiss him gently on the lips. "It... wasn't your fault. We didn't know. But we can do little about it now. It's too late to do something now. I can only follow my medical regimen,and hope for the best", you concluded.

And the day ended like this, in comfortable silence. You were beaten, and you wanted to sleep it off.

Days went on after the little episode,and the house became exceptionally quiet. You knew something was up the moment you woke up. It was almost impossible to have the mansion so silent. Wearing your braces, you moved carefully to the door. And then you went through the entire mansion. Without rushing. By the time you arrived to the living room, you were feeling the effect of your little impromptu walk. Suddenly, a hand covered your eyes. Killua. " What are you doing, young man? Are you trying to kidnap me again?" You joked lightly with your grandson. It was this little moments that made you go on. He simply snickered, the little shit, "not at all grampa. We have a surprise for you, but you have to close your eyes and trust me". You shuddered playfully at his suggestion, "how dreadful". You both laughed,but you let yourself be guided by the future heir. Not like you had a choice

After what felt like ages, you arrived outside. Opening your eyes, what greeted you was a beautiful picnic laid near the pond. You felt an overwhelming sense of pride and joy, and you cried a little. They were all there, even Mike and Millia were there with them. Zeno spoke up, before leading you gently to your seat, "I thought a little change of scenery would do you good, my dear" and they all agreed, for once. They were all smiling and, it made your heart flutter. "Thank you so much, I don't know what to say". Ever the blunt Milluki managed to make everyone laugh with his answer, "then don't. Sit down with us and relax"

The day went on wonderfully, and for once you felt lighter than you had been. You were engulfed in the arms of the man you loved, surrounded by your family, enjoying a quiet day outside.

Bad days may have been the norm, as was pain, but it made you enjoy the little things even more.

[monochrome-in-madness]

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My Top 10 Favourite Horrors

Within this top 10 list, some will include the prequels, sequels and any other follow ups as 1 ranking number. Some may be considered thriller, sci-fi, suspence etc, however, I do regard these as horrors myself.

I have take many aspects into account, such as videography, actor quality, SFX makeup quality, soundtrack, directors, CGI etc.

Note : this is my personal opinion. You do not have to agree with it, though if you haven't seen these, I highly reccomend them.

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1. The Conjuring

(1 & 2)

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The Conjuring 1 :

The Perron family moves into a farmhouse where they experience paranormal phenomena. They consult demonologists, Ed and Lorraine Warren, to help them get rid of the evil entity haunting them.

The Conjuring Trailer :

The Conjuring 2 :

Peggy, a single mother of four children, seeks the help of occult investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren when she and her children witness strange, paranormal events in their house

The Conjuring 2 Trailer :

My Opinion :

The Conjuring was the start of an incredible series of horrors that beat any other horror to the ground. It is absolutely fantastic and I basically worship these films. James Wan is my favourite director and he never ceases to amaze me.

Paranormal horror is my favourite and as someone who actually believes in the paranormal and who has had paranormal experiences, I can confirm that The Conjuring is much more realistic than any other paranormal films, which just makes it extra spooky.

The actors, camera angles, music, sfx makeup and storyline is just - chefs kiss -. I've been waiting for the 3rd one for so long, but they keep extending the release date. (R. I. P)

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2. Annabelle

(all of them)

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Annabelle :

John and Mia Form are attacked by a Satan worshipping couple, who uses their doll as a conduit to make their life miserable. This unleashes a string of paranormal events in the Forms' residence.

Annabelle Trailer :

Annabelle Creation :

Samuel and Elle embed their daughter's spirit into a doll, only to realise it is a demon. Years later, they open their home to a nun and six orphan girls, one of whom finds the doll.

Annabelle Creation Trailer :

Annabelle Comes Home :

Judy and her babysitter are left alone in her house after her parents leave to investigate a case. However, an unexpected guest sets Annabelle free, unleashing demonic activity in the house.

Annabelle Comes Home Trailer :

My Opinion :

Another great film series that was birthed form The Conjuring. Definitely less realistic, with many more jumpscares and spooky characters, which is appreciated in the horror world. Many people find dolls far more creepy than ghosts, myself included, so that's another perfect aspect that adds to the suspense.

I prefer Annabelle 3 over the others, mainly because I found that one to be more scary overall, even though Daniela is an idiot and she makes me so frustrated 😂

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3. Saw

(all of them)

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For the totally unindoctrinated, the Saw movie franchise revolves around the Jigsaw Killer (a.k.a. John Kramer), who tortures victims he believes are complacent or guilty, in order to make them appreciate their time on Earth.

All Saw Trailers :

Obviously I'm not going to list every Saw movie, because there are 7 (Jigsaw aka number 8, does NOT count. It is a disgrace).

My Opinion :

A classic for horror and gore lovers of all kinds. Of course I need to list this as number 3. I simply adore these movies. I even have the DVD set, so I am definitely a long term fan haha.

The obstacles and creativity regarding Saw as a whole needed a lot of thought put into it, plus it has a happy little side note of "make sure you don't cause harm to others in life and don't take anything for granted" which some may have not even noticed while being overwhelmed by the amount of fake blood.

Yes, a lot of characters are annoying, but that just makes us enjoy seeing them tortured even more (shh it's not real). Some of the blood doesn't look very realistic, the sfx can lack attention, BUT... It's still great and I can overlook these few flaws to appreciate the movies to the max.

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4. Blair Witch

(2016)

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A young man and his friends venture into the Black Hills Forest in Maryland to uncover the mystery surrounding his missing sister. Many believe her disappearance 17 years earlier is connected to the legend of the Blair Witch.

At first the group is hopeful, especially when two locals act as guides through the dark and winding woods. As the night wears on, a visit from a menacing presence soon makes them realize that the legend is all too real, and more sinister than they could have ever imagined.

Blair Witch Trailer :

My Opinion :

I love the camerawork. Not because it's perfect, because it's the opposite. It's a documentary style and this makes it feel more realistic, as if you are within the film yourself. I enjoy how they skip to the action at just the right time after a mild buildup.

The visuals are great as well and there were definitely some parts where I was disgusted and claustrophobic, which is good to experience while enjoying these types of films.

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5. Under The Skin

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Disguising itself as a human female, an extraterrestrial drives around Scotland attempting to lure unsuspecting men into her van. Once there, she seduces and sends them into another dimension where they are nothing more than meat.

Under The Skin Trailer :

My Opinion :

I would classify this as horror, but many won't. Either way, this is an amazingly artistic film with beautiful imagery and silent awe. It definitely makes you feel the suspense in a calming manner and it has some really dark moments. Without reading the description, one might be confused as to what is going on, but how art is supposed to be interpretated is by the imagination of individuals.

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6. Veronica

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During a solar eclipse, young Verónica and her friends want to summon the spirit of Verónica's father using an Ouija board. However, during the session she loses consciousness and soon it becomes clear that evil demons have arrived.

Veronica Trailer :

My Opinion :

A Spanish masterpiece, to put it simply. It's hard to find proper horrors like this in English. I really enjoyed this one and I watched it subbed not dubbed, because I feel like voiceovers tend to ruin the art of the original film. The buildup is perfect and unlike many horrors, it barely shows you the face of the "monster". That leaves it to the imagination, which in general makes it far more scary.

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7. Underwater

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Disaster strikes more than six miles below the ocean surface when water crashes through the walls of a drilling station. Led by their captain, the survivors realize that their only hope is to walk across the sea floor to reach the main part of the facility. But they soon find themselves in a fight for their lives when they come under attack from mysterious and deadly creatures that no one has ever seen.

Underwater Trailer :

My Opinion :

This movie was released quite recently and I didn't know what to expect. I was definitely blown away by how good it was. Being trapped underwater gives most people a sense of anxiety. Add being trapped underwater and being hunted by creepy sea monsters and you've got yourself a good horror. Kristen Stewarts general anxious personality definitely suits this film well.

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8. Split

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Kevin, who is suffering from dissociative identity disorder and has 23 alter egos, kidnaps three teenagers. They must figure out his friendly personas before he unleashes his 24th personality.

Split Trailer :

https://youtu.be/84TouqfIsiI

My Opinion :

An incredible film with phenomenal acting on the part of James McAvoy. You can get lost within his character and almost feel as if you are the character itself. Suspense is built up slowly and the climax of the film is released rapidly. People I know who do not enjoy horror, love this film themselves, which is saying something. It's definitely one of the best modern films that draws you in from the start. 

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9. A Quiet Place

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A family struggles for survival in a world where most humans have been killed by blind but noise-sensitive creatures. They are forced to communicate in sign language to keep the creatures at bay.

A Quiet Place Trailer :

https://youtu.be/WR7cc5t7tv8

My Opinion :

As you can tell by now, I love anything alien related. This film has some of the most amazing looking aliens I've seen, I was honestly in awe by how great they looked. Another silent film, but in a different sense to the previous one. Instead of being the hunter, this family is being hunted and this adds more to the fear factor.

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10. Unfriended - Dark Web

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When a teen finds a laptop with a cache of hidden files, he and his friend discover that the previous owner has access to the dark web and is watching over them.

Unfriended - Dark Web Trailer :

https://youtu.be/XenTM_C9fxM

My Opinion :

A modern take on horror. Involving the actual dangers of the dark web and the use of technology and turning it into a horror was a magnificent idea. It definitely had me at the edge of my seat.

Due to another film type that is not often explored (thus being that most of the movie is equal to what it would be like to look at your computer and video chat), it makes it different and therefore more compelling than the usual videography styles.

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Thank you for reading, if you've made it this far! Feel free to share your top 10 in the comment section, I am definitely interested in your opinions and finding new movies to watch myself. Any questions are also welcome.

Until next time, take care and stay spooky!

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[stimmypaw]

stimmypaw reads the apprentice’s quest, a blog post

A big one, just a bunch of thoughts as I’m reading it, of course, lots of spoilers for the first book in the Warrior Cats series A Vision of Shadows. This will be covering just the first book tho, it’s all in the Read More, let’s gooooooo!!!!

Vision Of Shadows time

Lots of new cats!!! I don't remember these guys as kits or anything wrow!!! I like their names but itll take a while to get used to them

Also cant believe they printed stormcloud's dead name

Omg there's a cat named beepaw

I love these cats all of them so much im going 2 cry

All new names are perfect

I FORGOT HOW GORGEOUS THE CAT VIEW IN THE RECENT BOOKS WAS, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

I'm glad leafpool smokes weed

I love reading from Jayfeather's point of view, his grumpiness hasn't grown on me ever but thats just me, I still enjoy it lots he's great and its fun

Firestar and Leopardstar's characterizations are On Point i love it

OOF i feel so bad when jayfeather is mean to others, poor kestrelflight, I love those two

Lovely Jayfeather moments now its time for the first chapter

I like this duo! Also I didn't think I'd ever say this but shut up squirrelflight one can have fun AND learn with their mentors

Sparkkit sounds nice she makes jingling bell noises when she walks around

Alderkit is chadphobic /j

I can see Alderkit taking deep breaths to relax its rotating in my mind its beautiful

God this first chapter feels so good and comfortable, like eating noodles and chicken nuggets. I am so so deeply in love with it, its gorgeous!

Sparkkit is so perfect too, and Graystripe remembering Firestar aaaaaa

DUSTPELT SAID WHAT? PHDHAHAHHA OH NOOOO I don't remember their relationship much, must have been fun, I love young little creature squirrelflight I MISSED HER SO BAD WOW

I started reading the second chapter and died, I think ill take a break now 2 sleep heehhee

I love them describing twoleg stuff its always so fun and alien, like watching an animal planet show about funny sea creatures.

Also I have determined sparkpaw is my favorite, might be my favorite cat ever next to hollyleaf??? I really identify with her and also she's autistic i have decided that

Alderpaw baby noooo hhhh their mentor at least is trying to show its okay, he seems very emotionally distant so far and alderheart feels very emotionally needy, actually both of them do, did I mention I love Sparkpaw??? I might be imprinting myself 2 much on her

I love how like, its clear both of them are absolutely anxious and worried about others opinions on them, which is clearly something they got from being Firestar's grandkids, deputy kids and leader kids. And bramblestar too, I recall him being quite the anxious lad ahhah. Sparkpaw will be showing confidence and being loud but the second anyone isn't approving of her or she does something "wrong" she gets small and quiet, and she ended up setting a high bar for herself by being good at hunting and fighting so I'm curious to see how that will go. Also there's nothing wrong with being guided through a crowded place to meet others Sparkpaw!!! I bet the two of them would be stuck without not knowing how to talk to others had Needlepaw not shown up. I love them, my gf is mocking me saying I'm a Sparkpaw kinnie.

Apprentices will like learn about a thing and tell everyone about it all the time and assume its always true in every situation and thats valid I love kids like that. Also in my head Needlepaw kinda looks like a porcupine. Oh boo she's fatphobic >:(

I love apprentices they are so fun and silly, just making fun of the leaders like its nothing. The way they are clearly learning and absorving everything their warriors say and do like sponges its just ***chefs kiss***

Omg shadowclan is just full of 12 year olds help

And then the old person said "it sure is hard being old!" And everyone clapped

Shout-out to pretty Riverclan apprentice #481977 I love her

Leafpool: 👁👁

Alderpaw: I knew it im cursed and awful and terrible and I will never amount to anything

I wish the cats didn't seem to be giving up on him so easily though

Ah yes the classic thunderclan move "you suck, into the medicine hole you go"

The way sparkpaw changes the things she says and how she does when it isn't the status quo around her oooooooooooooyeaaaaaaa I love 1 autistic cat

Alderpaw considering your problems lesser than other cats won't help you deal with them better bro

I love Needlepaw's excitement about Alderpaw being a medicine cat apprentice, and her sarcasm, she feels like a preppy teenager

Ahhh this is so good, I am so thirsty for family moments like this, just Alderpaw bonding with grandma, I’ll definitely want to draw this one it’s so sweet.

Oh to be young and silly.

I really am enjoying like, Alderpaw’s struggles to seeing how he fits in the clan, how he fits in himself, how he wants to be seen and what he wants to be, it’s really good. I Am Engaged(tm) With This Plot.

SPARKPAW NOOOOOOO but also Yes I want her to be shown vulnerable and weak please 

POP, god watching this stuff always awful, the cats must have thought he broke her ahahah

Also, really great that they learned from Dovewing and now like leave choices and discussions about prophecies between adults

And plus Brambles seemed to take the time to explain stuff to him, seems he wont be going alone either the 1 thing is that he will be the only one knowing what the journey is really about, why though??? I didnt read Firestar's Quest or whatever why does Skyclan need to be secret??? Seems quite silly really!

YESSSS SANDSTORM GET HIS ASS FIGHT FIGHT LOVE THIS LOVE SANDSTORM

I could feel squirrelflight nearing explosion here, this was very fun, i wish they werent hiding this though!!!

The secret thing is showing to be a plot point so I am once again Very Engaged

Also, wonderful dialogue bit, someone asked Bramblestar why an Elder is going and:

Lovely perfect perfect

I miss you dovewing

SQUIRRELFLIGHT LOVE YOU

Oh boy this is it

Traveling book moment

Graystripe: Soooo you're excited to go on the journey to the old territories and Skyclan?

Sandstorm: Yes! It's been ages and-

Graystripe: I'm sure the tribe will love the visit too

Sandstorm, groaning: Oh noooo I forgot about how the tribe is in the way of every journeyyyyy noooooo they're such a racist caricature, please tell me you have a plan

Graystripe: Yes don't worry about it the writers forgot about the tribe in my comic book so you can just use the excuses i did to actively avoid it

Sandstorm: Oh thank Starclan

Sparkpaw's desperation to prove herself oof, her anxiety with understanding the prophecy, oh boy, and Alderpaw feeling too overwhelmed by the questions and not managing to talk!!!! I am so glad they are both autistic

Hoping "Being Leader" wont mean theyre putting nonsense responsibility on the apprentice again

Ah good Sandstorm is on the lead again, as she should, she should have been leader she would have been great

I can't believe Alderpaw thinks I look stupid and diseased :( /j

Everything about this twoleg scene was scandalous I loved it, Sparkpaw just toppled over a trash bag and they are eating from it, iconic, also did those twolegs throw out a whole turkey? Damn

Its not that Sparkpaw is freakishly good at hunting she is very hungry and constantly on the watch for things to eat

BRO Ive never been in a road where the drivers are this wild, throwing bottles out of the car????? Ive seen Fruit being thrown like once or twice, what the fuck!!! I'm glad they are going to wait until the morning to continue

Okay I was not expecting Needlepaw to show up this girl is chaotic I love her

ACTUALLY YEAH WHY DIDNT THEY TELL THE OTHER CLANS ABOUT THIS SINCE THE PROPHECY IS ABOUT ALL THE CLANS???

Needlepaw is like Rono from Bambi 2 if he wasnt a mean bully and thats very epic

Very curious character though, how come her mentor isnt teaching her the warrior code properly? Is that an issue with all apprentices?? Is the clan overwhelmed by 12 year olds and they won?

Having lots of fun trying to play the game "what animal are they describing this time" the erins made here, im glad they're in a farm. Worried about Sandstorm though :c

Fuck im worried about sandstorm a lot, her wound hurt on Me

Yeah water is good youre right sandstorm

Aw man I hope she's okay let her at least survive to meet skyclan please

NOOOOOOOO SANDSTORMA A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sandtteooonrjrbbbmmnnnnnnnnnn

I am so sad

Alderpaw denying it, Starclan shining upon their vigil, everything crushed me i cried

Alderpaw considers Nihilism

Haven't seen a cat thank starclan for prey in a while its

Oh look they time skipped a journey! They don't tend to do that thats nice

I'm so excited to be meeting The Skyclan that everyone in the fandom knows now

So far they seem kinda mean but thats most clans at first glance really

Okay somethings up

I uh have heard of Darktail pretty sure he's a bad guy so yeah something really bad happened to Skyclan

Am worried

Darktail sounds like an evil himbo* i may be enjoying him actually

*himbos are usually nice by default so he's just evil and stupid and strong

Does needletail know these cats already?????

Ah

Shit

Oh okay fuck

I've been quietly reading the rest because I am just concerned and I want them to be okay as quickly as possible

Waterfalls are a classic nice

Oh boy time for our unlikely duo of Alderpaw and Needlepaw to get out of a Mess!

I did not expect this to end up with the two of them journeying into parenthood, but I'm happy it did

Well actually I'm very unhappy theyre so lost and there's no sign of Skyclan I am very worried for everyone involved Sparkpaw must be feeling awful!

Twigkit is a great name

Yeah this ended terribly

Overall! Frigging loved it this book was GOOD and a great start for the series I am very excited to read the rest, SO WORRIED ABOUT SKYCLAN THO AAAA the characterizations were great the characters were great the pacing was fun and I didn't get bored once!

I think o only wish I had read this sooner really so I could look up others thoughts without getting heavily spoiled about the last books, I can watch a few videos already though thats a start ahhaha. But yeah it was great and it felt very good to read, haven't swallowed up a book so quickly in a very long time!!! Very happy I finally got my hands on this 💕💖💕💖💕💖 cant wait 2 start the next one

If you read all this, hope you had fun hahaha, ill be making more of these cus theyre fun and I like talking about warrior cats thats just my thing

Til next time

[punkscowardschampions]

Saint & Leilani

Saint: How's it going? 🙂 Leilani: it's going as expected Saint: I know how to answer questions without saying anything, remember Saint: you can't fool me Leilani: I was relying on the 😇 thing to do being you pretending you believed me Saint: You'd think so, but the issue lies in if that would require me to leave you in discomfort Saint: which would be nothing but the worst manners Saint: okay, what's one thing that's been okay and what's one thing that I could help make a bit better? Leilani: the kids are extremely adorable in their costumes, I'm in support of that Leilani: & how many of the grown ups decided to go in on this too Leilani: but maybe I was hoping you were that kind of big brother & your other sisters & brothers weren't as young as they are Saint: The majority love an event, that's true Saint: I don't know if it's a genetic thing or a cultural, but it's always been like this Saint: I'm sure the twins would have you know they're very mature for their age Saint: 🤔 how about I introduce you to Mattie? Saint: She's about your age Leilani: 😅 yeah I'm considering taking one of them with me since you already made the offer Leilani: she's Jay's sister, right? Saint: Correct Saint: she's similarly more chilled out too Saint: maybe less adorable than the kids but she shouldn't object to hanging out, kidnap might be a step too far tonight but Leilani: I don't know, it's a good costume, some people would still say adorable Saint: 😅 Saint: a good opener Leilani: thanks, I'll use it Saint: 👍 have fun Saint: let me know what you think, and if I need to get my wings into gear and do more Leilani: [pretend she's been chatting to her for ages because I feel like they'd get on, soz she don't go to your school hun] Leilani: I am now so I guess your wings won't be falling off Saint: [always the way, at least you will have an ally at these functions] Saint: 😁😁😁 Leilani: take a 🍭 Saint: 😏 More counterintuitive than the sticker ⭐ Saint: definitely finding you a new dream before you wreck the 🦷 of every kid in Dublin just to fix them again Saint: very 😈 of you Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: maybe I'll become a vet if Grace agrees to the 🐱 Saint: What about the 🩸? Saint: though you seem to cope with the fake Leilani: oh yeah.... Leilani: I was only thinking about the 😁 parts again Saint: I do hate to be the 🌧 on your parade... Saint: it's pretty adorable how 🌤 you are Leilani: but you do need to step in there before I fully commit & get genuinely 🩸 splattered Saint: I can promise that without feeling I'm giving you unfair expectations Leilani: it'd be awkward if you had to take that costume off on account of being 😈 Saint: it really would Saint: the feathers aren't leaving much to the imagination as is 😬 Saint: no one wants that Leilani: you're not 👶🏽 enough to be running around without clothes Saint: Ahh Saint: so tough being the oldest Saint: suppose I should leave some 🍭 🍬 🍫 for the kids too? Leilani: I can't promise to fix your 🦷 either way Saint: I'll make sure to brush well tonight when I'm defeathering in the privacy of my own room Saint: I like your ears, by the way Leilani: I'll resist the urge to come & watch over you since you're the one who can fly & I'll never be a qualified dentist Leilani: thanks, I keep forgetting they're there so for a moment that was an unusual compliment Saint: I'll send you a picture if you like Saint: for evidence Saint: I'm sure your real ears are lovely too 😂 Leilani: what am I supposed to send you a picture back of, in line with you wanting to work for the government? Leilani: like, I could salute but that's getting into a weird girl guide territory Leilani: & I've never been camping Saint: Oh dear Saint: the less pictures I have of underage girls the better, I think Saint: too young for the scandal yet but best to start as I mean to go on Saint: my family aren't big campers, if you can believe it Saint: but I've been with my grandma, and for this young leaders thing I did last year Leilani: I probably shouldn't fill my phone with pictures of older boy's dazzling teeth either, my mum is very overprotective Leilani: was, I mean Leilani: maybe she'd come back & haunt me Saint: Potentially Saint: though I can try to assure her and you my teeth are not at all predatory, this might not come across as sincere with my pearly whites 😁😬 Leilani: if your teeth are harmless, you might need a dentist sooner than I could become one Saint: 🧛 gotcha Saint: okay, so not harmless, but your neck is safe Leilani: why do they bite their victims somewhere literally everyone can see? Leilani: I'd be more secretive if my goal was to live undetected forever in some moody castle Saint: You can cross vampire off your list too, you're clearly overqualified Saint: I think it's about that sweet, sweet jugular vein but there's plenty of others that are less of a Saint: 'look what I did' Leilani: maybe whoever wrote the 1st 🧛📕 didn't want to commit to going under the clothes Leilani: it was racy stuff already Saint: also potential code for same-sex relationships? Saint: but what wasn't 😅 Leilani: is Dracula gay? Leilani: good for him Saint: I think so? Saint: Unless I'm confusing my classics Leilani: I haven't read it before & I feel like if I do now everyone will think I'm going goth Saint: Not an impression you want to make? Leilani: not really Leilani: 🌤  > 🌧 Saint: we'll keep it secret or off the reading list Leilani: first rule of our new book club? okay Saint: You can think of the 2nd Leilani: there has to be some kind of limit on length, War & Peace is too heavy in every way Saint: which brings us nicely to rule number three then Saint: no Russian literature Leilani: 😅 Saint: but I'll leave it with the rules for now, this is a party after-all Saint: would you like a drink? Leilani: what can you offer me that's 🧃? Saint: [so the pub, 'cos always the pub, probably doesn't have sassy mocktails 'cos not the vibe but he can go make her one] Saint: any major allergies or dislikes I need to know? Leilani: no Leilani: you've got total freedom Saint: I like the sound of that Leilani: what are you drinking? Saint: [probably red wine, you seem the type, not getting crunk] Saint: 🍷 Saint: 🧛 of me Leilani: if you're coming out to me atm you have my unconditional love & support Saint: 😅 Saint: Thank you Saint: unnecessary but appreciated Leilani: oh then you want to do the most with the teeth cleaning for the pics you're sending later Leilani: I'm not 😤 Saint: As much as the before and after would be impressive Saint: you might feel a bit 🤢 Leilani: I've set myself up as way too squeamish here, I don't like the sound of that Leilani: I'm not like 🥀 Saint: it's your story to tell Saint: though I wouldn't accuse you of being a wilting wallflower type, for the record Leilani: please don't accuse me of anything on the record 😅 I'm not a Lolita type either Leilani: I haven't even had a boyfriend yet Saint: I think painting myself as that unreliable of a narrator would really undermine my public persona and the trust I aim to inspire Saint: is that purely because of having a protective mum or did your own thoughts and feelings come into that too? Saint: plus, technically, Nabokov was Russian, I don't know if we can read it? 🤔 Leilani: the behaviour of many boys my age came into it too Leilani: but maybe they'll be different at this school, your sister did say we're uncultured at my old one Saint: I can see that Saint: When did she say that? Leilani: 💬📱 Saint: 😕 Oh Saint: she can be quite Saint: blunt Leilani: it's okay, I know Saint: She doesn't always think before she speaks, which is definitely a bad habit Saint: but I'm sure she didn't mean that to sound so...that Leilani: I'm sure she put more than enough thought into everything she said Saint: I'm sorry Saint: I would talk to her, see why you got off on the wrong foot but I'm not so out of touch to not realize that would potentially do more harm than good Saint: I think she's insecure, for context, she didn't get into the school she wanted to go to Leilani: I know why, but I'm not sure I would've been able to approach it differently, even if I should've Saint: Is it strictly girl's business? Leilani: what does that even mean, St? 🤔 Saint: Well Saint: code for none of my business perhaps Saint: in this instance, at least Leilani: it's not becos you're a boy, it's becos you're her brother Saint: Okay Saint: if it helps, I know how she can be, and it's not because of you, it's a her thing Leilani: it doesn't help but that's more becos you tried to tell me how she could be & I rose to it anyway Saint: I could've been clearer Saint: I didn't want to seem like I was insinuating you couldn't talk to her, or something like that Saint: and I don't want to talk badly about anyone, even if it is at times warranted, she's not, you know Saint: 👿 Leilani: I found out for myself, that's the fairest way Leilani: & I'm sure I overreacted once I was 😤 Saint: I know it would make this easier, if you were to get on Saint: but just know you're under no obligation to Saint: with any of us Saint: if nothing else, I can assure she'll give you a wide berth if she has nothing pleasant to say Leilani: maybe we will in the 2nd attempt Leilani: my moods are all over Saint: Now that is girl stuff, correct? 😏 Saint: it's very possible Leilani: that's getting into weird 🧛 territory Leilani: I meant becos I'm 💣💥 by grief not being a girl Saint: Joke in poor taste at the expense of your hormones Saint: 🤐 Leilani: becos I'm a girl is never an excuse for anything, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie I have read some of Saint: My sincerest apologies Saint: you'll have to educate me Leilani: thank god for book club Leilani: you're fine though, losing my mum isn't an excuse either according to your sister Saint: She really said that? Leilani: yeah but she's just the 1st, I don't think she'll be the only Saint: But that's just Saint: bullshit Leilani: she doesn't think so, she built an entire argument around it Saint: even if you were using it as an excuse, which I see no evidence of Saint: it's a pretty valid one Saint: and it's just so Saint: callous to even suggest that, never mind assert it Leilani: it's about her, I dared to say she shouldn't make fun of Grace & by extension treat all of you badly Saint: That is a sensitive topic for her Saint: but still Saint: THAT is no excuse to behave like that Leilani: she's been looking at me like she's got every reason to be 😤 Leilani: 🙏 we're not face to face 🗨 Saint: I'll distract her Leilani: 😇 Saint: [do so boy, soz to you lol, sure she's being a delight] Leilani: [do the salute you're not gonna send him a picture of lol] Saint: [casually meet eyes over this party moment] Leilani: [what a #mood] Saint: [honestly Venus can leave early anyway we all know why you're here and you probably have somewhere else to be hoeing it up] Leilani: [yeah exactly, as much as I hate that you're like this, we know it's real] Leilani: thanks Saint: no problem Saint: I learnt not to bite a long time ago 🎣 Saint: not that that's on you, but you know what I mean, diplomacy is my friend Leilani: does she know she's helping you in your career goals? Saint: I have to assume not Saint: unless she thinks I need a running mate 😨😅 Leilani: in that costume, it'd be a stretch to 💭 that Saint: Don't even get me started on that Leilani: if you don't want to drop your workout secrets that's your choice Saint: Oh no, I was talking about hers, sorry Saint: she's really gone with the Elle Woods thing...which is just a bit strange Saint: dad's a lawyer so Saint: yeah Leilani: oh... Leilani: an extra dimension has been added Leilani: I thought she was going with Regina George Saint: easy mistake to make Saint: sure she'd say as much if I said anything Leilani: she'd say worse about both of ours probably Saint: she got her 🎁 she should be in a good mood now Leilani: why is she getting 🎁 on your dad's birthday? Saint: Right, you're an only child Saint: when you're little, and you went to birthday parties, did you ever get mad that you weren't getting any gifts or attention? Saint: it's that Leilani: I can't relate Saint: What did you and your mum do for your birthdays as a kid? Leilani: she liked to throw me a party, on theme for whatever I was super into that year Leilani: smaller scale than this but all my friends would be there Saint: Sounds like a good time Leilani: it was Leilani: what did you do? Saint: My birthday is Christmas day Saint: 💔 Leilani: I'm sorry Saint: 😅 It's not really that bad Saint: it would be if you minded Saint: but I still get presents and to see all the family so Leilani: I still feel like I should buy you a 🎁 in the summer Saint: that's when I'd have parties with friends as a kid Leilani: you don't have those parties any more? Saint: Not really my scene now Saint: I'm alright with Vee claiming that kind of attention Saint: I usually get dinner with friends as close to my birthday as we can without all the office parties being out in full force Leilani: 🍷 Leilani: very you Saint: Is that my branding? Leilani: would you like a rebrand? Saint: I'm not 😤 Saint: just curious about your 💭 Leilani: it's very blood of christ 😇🙏 Leilani: so fitting Saint: That wine is very bad though Saint: 😝 Leilani: maybe they don't want to promote 🧛 Leilani: if you drank my blood it probably wouldn't taste nice Saint: Why not? Saint: Not admitting a desire to do so with that Leilani: I don't know becos it's 🩸? Saint: 😂 Saint: Fair point Saint: just wanted to see how you'd put me off yours specifically Leilani: we'd circle back to me being underage Saint: do you think vampires ask for identification first? Leilani: no, but in this case you know how old I am Saint: I'm not going to suck your blood Saint: you have my word Saint: and I invited your here, sort of Saint: you'd have to invite me in Leilani: ignoring that being what someone who was about to drain me would say, you must've been to Grace's house before Saint: Probably? Saint: not as if I'd have much call to be there though Leilani: I'm honoured that you're looking for an invite now Saint: I never said that Leilani: 🤔 Saint: I said you would have to invite me over if I were to go all 🧛 Saint: so you're perfectly safe here and now Leilani: [giving him a look like okay boy] Saint: [little lol like okay fair enough] Leilani: [a smile back, excuse us everyone] Saint: [i'm like who a nosy hoe here 'cos I'd be 👀] Leilani: [well Astrid would just say it and we know she's there LOL] Saint: [truuu but she is an innocent soul so she probably just thinks he's being more friendly than his face usually suggests lol] Leilani: [I like to think the twins know what's up, they're sassy] Saint: [be those cheeky children who embarrass you] Leilani: [definitely & Matilda is probably 👀 on this vibe] Saint: [is cute] Leilani: [love that you're being less serious rn sir] Saint: [it's out of character enough to be a Thing™ like he's not a dick but he doesn't have to go this hard for anyone in the fam like protection, caring mode obvs so it'd be like oh hey] Leilani: [enjoy that fam, I know some of you adults are nosy hoes] Saint: [lol the goss, god bless] Leilani: what did you put in this drink? Saint: What? Saint: Nothing? Leilani: no, I mean like ingredients Leilani: it's nice Saint: Oh Saint: [whatever sassy concoction we've made 'cos you'd have that knowledge even if you don't party that hard 'cos Ruster kid] Leilani: 😄 Saint: you like it? Leilani: it's delicious Saint: 😁👍 Saint: Do I get a sticker now? Leilani: yeah Leilani: & more 🍭🍬🍫 Saint: the kids are gonna hate me Saint: better share or get mobbed Leilani: I could just invite you over to eat what the trick or treaters didn't before we got here, you know Leilani: keep you 😇 Saint: You really want to secure my spot in heaven Saint: My acceptance would hugely depend on what 🍭🍬🍫 was on offer Leilani: [the list of everything Grace bought and we know she's extra so] Leilani: so you see, I'm thinking of my own 😁 Saint: Did she expect the whole of town to show up or? Saint: I better intervene before you look like a 👶/👵 depending on how you think about it Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: I think she's expecting me to eat my feelings Saint: Nice to have the option Saint: perhaps not at the detriment to your 🦷 or 🩸 sugar though Leilani: we'll pretend midnight snacks don't count Saint: No calories after midnight, everyone knows that Leilani: the later it gets, the less there are? Leilani: becos we'll definitely still be here later than that Saint: Might even get to breakfast Saint: what would you have then if calories didn't exist? Leilani: for breakfast? Saint: Yes Leilani: 🥞🍨🍓🍫🍒 Saint: Well that just sounds 😇😇🤤 Saint: Perhaps we can go make that happen when we finally leave Saint: or will Grace object, take on that protective role fully Leilani: taking advantage of her fear of overstepping isn't very 😇 but it is honest Leilani: & this isn't a date date Saint: Not my intention, though if you think that would be a direct impact then perhaps we shouldn't Leilani: it's okay, it's just breakfast Leilani: the calories don't even count so it can't hurt Saint: It is Saint: I wouldn't want anyone to think differently Leilani: start as you mean to go on, I recall it Saint: I mean Saint: that wouldn't be right, would it Leilani: if people think something else is happening to what is, it's easy enough to set them straight Saint: Why would they even think that Leilani: retro 💭 Leilani: you can't spend time with anyone of the opposite sex unless they're interested in the same or you're interested in them Saint: It's just ridiculous Leilani: yeah, but you are 😇 & the fittest so I can't blame people for thinking I would be Saint: I assume people would think that's the last thing on your mind Saint: but maybe I'm giving too much credit Saint: most conversations seem to end up back to when am I going to get another girlfriend Leilani: that joke you made about my girly hormones works for my age too Leilani: especially becos I haven't had a boyfriend Saint: 🙄 Saint: It isn't the be-all-end-all Saint: trust me Leilani: not a classics 📚 way of thinking Leilani: if this was Russian Lit you'd die for her Saint: that's why their particular brand of melodrama is banned Saint: and 'she' doesn't currently exist, as I said, unless you'd like me to pledge my undying, unwavering love to the idea of women in general Saint: I can knock up a speech now Leilani: sounds like fun Leilani: go ahead Saint: 😅 Leilani: not the answer you wanted? Leilani: if you offer me a speech, I'm gonna say yes Saint: I need some time to write it Saint: I also need to find a pen Leilani: [hands him a pen in a sassy manner because she would have a handbag with this outfit] Saint: [the ultimate cliche of lingering when you take something lol] Leilani: [when you can't keep the sass up cos you gotta smile at him again like...I love to think about everyone watching this] Saint: [obviously we're smiling back and being all bashful like gotta go find some paper] Leilani: [looking in that handbag for something he could write on but there's nothing because she's not that hoe carrying everything but the kitchen sink so a cute 🤷🏾 like soz] Saint: [go find a napkin to write this speech about love and womens on then find her and give it to her and hope no one else reads it 'cos that is pure flirtation if I ever saw it] Leilani: [we're keeping that napkin hens & soz Matty even though we BFFs you're not reading it luv] Leilani: okay, I'd vote for you 🗳 Saint: [not explaining that inside joke hun we have no time sorry] Saint: That's all I really wanted from you, naturally Saint: 😈 Leilani: I'm naturally powerless to do anything but swoon, we've gone full classics now Leilani: you got what you really wanted there Saint: Having you powerless to my every whim and will sounds like another genre than classic to me Saint: unless you'd like to state your case for 50 Shades Leilani: 😅 I need to read it 1st Leilani: so thanks if you're choosing it for book club Saint: Top of my reading list, I just needed the excuse 😏 Leilani: isn't there like a whole series? Leilani: you'd know Saint: I officially decline to add that to my brand, thank you Leilani: I get why, you're angry she wrote out the vampires, obviously Saint: Precisely Saint: What kind of discrimination... Leilani: [a lil irl lol like peeps aren't getting enough of a show with this] Saint: [😍] Leilani: [I hope you're re-reading that napkin or talking to your bff right then cos if you see them 😍 you'll die] Saint: Who's costume do you think would win? Leilani: your dad's Leilani: the birthday boy has to win Saint: just because it's his birthday or Leilani: yeah, Grace's is the best Leilani: I chose it for her Saint: 😅 If you do say so yourself then Leilani: if you're arguing it's becos you want me to hype up yours more Leilani: she looks amazing Saint: I'm simply saying on your 2nd go you and Vee should get on like a house on fire Leilani: 😧 Saint: It's not a bad thing Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: okay, who do you think should win? Saint: You have things in common, is the point Saint: I don't know, the kids are probably the most imaginative Leilani: what things? Saint: 💅💄👗 and thinking you're very good at them Leilani: I think I did a good job at picking her specific outfit tonight Leilani: you don't have to say it like it's a bad thing Saint: I didn't Saint: I specifically said it wasn't Leilani: sure Saint: I'm sorry if that's how you took it Leilani: I'm sorry if that's what I look like to you Saint: What, interested in how they present themselves? Saint: I don't see why you'd apologize for that Leilani: up themselves Saint: I didn't say that Leilani: I don't know how else you expect me to take thinking I'm very good at something Leilani: you didn't even say I was very good at it Saint: Does it matter what I think? Leilani: not if it's that I have an ego the size of your sister's Saint: I meant it as a good thing Saint: I don't know what else to tell you Leilani: I don't know what else to tell you other than that's not how I took it Saint: And I said sorry so that's that Leilani: yeah Saint: Don't think about it, it really didn't mean anything Leilani: I won't cause a big scene about it either way Saint: Just enjoy your evening, okay Leilani: I am Saint: Good 🙂 Saint: that's all anyone wants Leilani: I didn't mean to get all 💣💥 it just upset me, what she said Leilani: so you saying we're alike isn't something I want to hear atm Saint: I understand Saint: that's fine, it was the wrong thing to say Leilani: it isn't fine, she's the one who got to me, not you Leilani: I'm sorry Saint: I was insensitive Saint: I just don't like conflict Saint: but it can't always be straightened out so easily Leilani: I will have a 2nd go when I see her at school Leilani: maybe it'll get straightened out Saint: How are you feeling, about school? Leilani: stressed Saint: I bet Saint: it'd be weird if you weren't Saint: but you seem to be good at making friends so you'll be okay Leilani: but that was before, now I'm not gonna know if they feel sorry for me Leilani: or think they have to be nice to me Saint: Do people have to know? Saint: You need a story why you've moved school, but it doesn't strictly have to be the full truth, or the truth at all Leilani: Venus knows, I'm not having her catch me in a lie Leilani: anyway, it's what happened Leilani: I can't escape it by lying Saint: Fair enough Saint: it is the best policy, after-all Leilani: it wouldn't be fair to my mum to change the story, she can't Saint: That makes sense Saint: disrespectful Saint: well, I think, however unfortunately, that people's sympathy only extends so far Saint: you might lose some, but you will find out who your real friends are with time Leilani: there's that word again Leilani: time Saint: I think it's pretty unavoidable Saint: it sounds worse than usual Saint: but people you think are your friends can turn around and not me Saint: for any reasons, it isn't that this is happening, or going to happen just because of your mum Saint: you know? Saint: It doesn't sound comforting, it isn't Leilani: it is a little bit Saint: People are flaky Saint: you just notice when you could use some of them to not be Leilani: who hurt you? other than the girls you're unwilling to die for, I mean Saint: What? Saint: No, no one Leilani: your friends haven't? Saint: I'm fine 🙂 Leilani: I don't believe in 🙂 Leilani: give me a real one 😁 Saint: [IRL 🙂] Leilani: [IRL 😁] Saint: [looking awayayayay] Leilani: [getting him another 🍷 because you are soz you kicked off] Saint: [just like 'who served you?' 😏 bants 'cos he's not even old enough yet either] Leilani: [we just loling because this is a fam function and everyone knows it's for him but asking if she can try it, to which I say don't do it gal wine is gross] Saint: [offering it but warning her it's an acquired taste 'cos truly] Leilani: [taking a sip and her face would be ICONIC because ew, just don't spit it back into his glass babe] Saint: [loling and asking if she wants another mocktail instead] Leilani: [a hard yes because need that taste out of our mouth] Saint: [go get that boy] Leilani: you should've written a speech about why you like drinking 🍷 Saint: A toast would be more fitting Leilani: shorter & easier too Saint: and more warmly received Saint: especially by this crowd Leilani: 😅 Leilani: [gives him the pen back like there you go then] Saint: [swap that for her drink and get to 🤔] Leilani: [take a sip so he can see your happy face when you taste it compared to a second ago] Saint: How am I meant to argue with that? Leilani: I'm not doing your work for you, St Saint: 🥺😏 Leilani: maybe you could compare it to a girl, that was a very good speech Leilani: [re-reads it] Saint: Acidic...bitter...goes straight to your head and stays there 'til the next day Leilani: disgusting, leaves a horrible taste in your mouth Leilani: makes you say things you maybe don't mean Saint: might get half the room to raise their glasses Saint: if they're feeling brave Leilani: if they're feeling 💔 Saint: Yes, that too Leilani: there must be some reasons why you drink it, other than frustrated vampirism Saint: the 💔 obviously Leilani: you said you were 🙂 fine Saint: Philosophical 💔💭 Leilani: what does that mean? Saint: I'm just theorizing on it Saint: no personal experience worth noting Leilani: ... Saint: We don't need to bring the party down with my non-issues Leilani: no announcements, just me Saint: Alright Saint: but only because you don't want to be treated different, not because I think it's important or a big deal or anything at all Saint: I did have a girlfriend, 'til quite recently Saint: but no one here knows that she cheated on me, and that's why I ended things Saint: with one of my friends Leilani: how 🍷 of her Leilani: are they together now? Saint: I'm not sure Saint: Guess I'll see at School Leilani: how long were you with her? Saint: About 2 months shy of a year Leilani: that's horrible, that she didn't end it properly Saint: Yeah Saint: we were really alike Saint: I thought Leilani: we're both dreading school, I wish that was more comforting Saint: I don't want to complain, like it's anywhere near the same Leilani: it doesn't have to be the same to be something we can talk about Saint: I know Saint: it's just Saint: I already feel stupid without complaining to you Leilani: she did something stupid, you don't have to feel like that Saint: I do though, we're a close group Saint: they're both in all my classes pretty much Saint: then I think that the rest of them had to know Saint: so, what does that mean for all of those relationships too Leilani: you won't know what it means until you know whether they were keeping it from you or not Leilani: but you get to decide what happens next with those friendships either way Saint: People pick sides, and even if they already haven't Saint: it won't be the same Leilani: maybe it shouldn't Leilani: if they've picked his side or hers, you deserve different than that Saint: It's my last year Saint: bit late for all that anyway Leilani: if you go into it with that attitude, yeah Leilani: you wouldn't say it's too late for me Saint: You have time, and reason to make it work Leilani: you too Leilani: we haven't known each other long, claiming you need years is a stretch Saint: This is different Saint: I don't know how to explain it Leilani: join a club with me or something, we'll make new friends together Saint: 😅 What kind of club? Leilani: I don't know Leilani: obviously not the Russian Lit appreciation society Saint: Maybe they'll have an anti-appreciation society Leilani: 😅 it'd be popular & so would we Saint: You will be Leilani: there must be genuine clubs you are interested in 🤔💭 & I'll sign up too Saint: I have lots of extra-curriculars Saint: but there's probably a few left out there I haven't tried Leilani: great Saint: What do you want to do? Saint: Sports, music, etc... Leilani: my only demand is no swimming Saint: The chlorine? Leilani: the cap I'd have to wear Leilani: not cute Saint: 😂 Saint: [and IRL] Leilani: hey! I'm serious Saint: Okay, no swimming Saint: we have a pool anyway Leilani: oh, good idea, throwing a party would be a good way to meet people Leilani: 💅💄👙 instead Saint: Hold on, who said anything about a party Leilani: me Leilani: just then Saint: It's a bit Leilani: ... Saint: You do know my sister lives at my house too, right? Leilani: she told me she's back & forth to Paris, can't we do it when she's 🛫? Saint: Not as much as she wishes Saint: I mean, I suppose you could Saint: long as you don't post it all over socials and trash the place Leilani: we could Leilani: the point is, you're there too Saint: A pool party full of underage girls? Saint: I don't know if that's the right direction to be going in Leilani: the 2nd point is, they won't all be underage or girls Saint: Well as mentioned, I don't exactly have a lot of older boys to invite Leilani: that's why we join a club 1st Saint: How many steps does this plan have then? Leilani: I don't know Leilani: it depends how those go Saint: You're funny Saint: And I don't mean that in any way but the words I'm saying, for the record Leilani: I'll be proud becos your laughter is transformative Leilani: it makes you look & me feel really different Saint: Those are some pretty persuasive words Saint: maybe you should write the speeches Leilani: I'll add speech writer to my vision board when I get back Saint: You could do it for me Saint: if that wasn't such a 🥱 prospect Leilani: I think it could be fun Leilani: but what's my cut? Saint: Paying staff is part of a MPs fabled expenses Saint: we can make that wage up as we go along Saint: as long as people don't think I'm favouring you for any reason beyond your 🖋🗯 Leilani: [bats her eyelashes at him in an OTT manner like who would ever think that] Leilani: 😅😅 Saint: [😏] Saint: you'd get to live in London, if you wanted Leilani: who wouldn't want to live in London? Saint: It certainly has its charms Leilani: 🛍🌃💃 Saint: Those are some Leilani: add yours then Saint: 🏛 🛥 ���️🚇 🕌 🚖 🕍 🎭 ☕️ 🍷 🍽 Leilani: I was with you until 🍷 Leilani: still, you can show me around before I start work Saint: It's a deal Saint: maybe you'll like white, or rose Leilani: let's see Leilani: [goes off to get wine like] Saint: It takes time Saint: to acquire the taste Leilani: to kill your tastebuds Leilani: [imagine the scene of her with a glass of wine in each hand taking a sip from each and making different but as ICONIC faces of disgust, we're giving them to Matty, fill your boots gal] Saint: How many 👎s? Leilani: as many as poss Saint: 😅😅 Saint: Stick to juice Saint: apart from being bad for your 😁 and the possibility of a sugar high Saint: better option all 'round providing you brush Leilani: is this where you ask for photographic proof back? Saint: 🤔 Saint: I think I trust your dedication to pearly whites Leilani: thanks Saint: You seem...disappointed? Leilani: do I? Leilani: trust is nice, I'm not 😤 Saint: Good Saint: you can send me evidence if you want Saint: maybe your breakfast 'gram, if it lives up to the expectations Leilani: aren't you gonna be there? Saint: Didn't we decide that might not be a good idea right now Leilani: I've only had 3 sips of wine & I don't remember agreeing so Leilani: no? Saint: I don't want my eyes scratched out 💅 Saint: you did a good job on the 😱 factor on her Leilani: I don't have my 🐱 yet Leilani: you can be scared then Saint: You are a 🐱 Saint: so had I better come or else Leilani: if we share the 🥞 you'll be helping curb my chances of a sugar rush & cavities Saint: So that's the for argument Leilani: yeah & I'll keep being funny Saint: You're meant to do against now 😏 Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: the risk of your own sugar rush & cavities Saint: 😂 Saint: I would hate for you to think I'm scared of a little sugar Leilani: 🧄 & 🌤 right? Leilani: or maybe underage girls & unreliable narrators Saint: I'm the unreliable narrator underage girls are scared of Saint: except I'm not, obviously Saint: I'll take vampire rumours over that any day Leilani: at least that means you won't take some other girl for breakfast on the morning of my 16th birthday Saint: That would be very cinematic Saint: but also very rude Leilani: 💔😿 Saint: You'll have to tell me when it is so I can keep it free, avoid the 👿 Leilani: [her birthday whenever we decide that is] Saint: It's in the diary Leilani: 📱 or 📖? Saint: I have both Saint: but I'm not quite that nerdy that I've brought my paper one to a party Leilani: I was just 💔😿 that you borrowed a pen from someone else Saint: Okay, so that's pretty 🤓 Leilani: excuse you, it's not my fault I don't have 20:20 vision Leilani: 🕶🖤 Saint: You aren't that blind or I'd have noticed by now Leilani: I'm wearing contacts Saint: I mean 🕶 is a bit of an exaggeration Leilani: it's a cute emoji, I'm sorry Leilani: & 🤓 is not good teeth representation for me Saint: [actual lol] Saint: Okay, you can have it Leilani: [actual 😍] Leilani: thanks boss Saint: [try not to 😳] Leilani: [use your skin tone to save yourself boy] Saint: wait 'til the tour to decide if you accept Leilani: becos what happens on tour stays on tour or? Saint: depends how much evidence you collect 📸 Leilani: you're the 😇 Saint: Allegedly Leilani: it's your own promo Leilani: meaning you could also convince me you're 😈 Saint: I don't see the benefit in that Leilani: [a LOOK like] Saint: I'm not going to convince you of anything 😈 with just words Leilani: I definitely don't remember making it a words only rule Saint: 🤐🤔 Leilani: ... Saint: [miming both again but we're smiling] Leilani: would you like to dance? in classic 📚 it's totally scandalous Saint: As long as we leave appropriate room for God Leilani: I think if I was fully playing by my god's rules you'd have to be in the next room Leilani: & I'd be wearing 🧕🏾 instead of ears Saint: That would make your outfit very confusing Leilani: this outfit is too tight to be islam approved Saint: [show up to dance like lemme take a closer look] Leilani: [we're having a moment & all I can think about is Grace peeping] Saint: [peeping in a costume which just makes it more amusing some reason] Leilani: [it's happening but I am gonna cockblock this before it goes too hard by saying she starts crying because she can't wait to tell her mum about this & realises she can't #beentheregal] Saint: [oh baby] Leilani: [so then we embarrassed & have to go outside cos there's always peeps in the toilets at any party/fam function] Saint: [at least as Grace is peeping she can follow you and deal 'cos we're gonna assume that isn't what you want him to do] Leilani: [when you wanna go home because mortified especially since he hasn't followed so you think he's mortified but you also don't because you were and are having fun which is the whole reason we cried like #ohjoy thank god Venus is not here] Saint: [we're in actuality worried like oh we shouldn't have done that/any of this lowkey] Leilani: [lowkey outside for ages until Grace is probably freezing to death so we're back but NOT looking at him because dying] Saint: [the awks, go make yourself busy boy] Leilani: [when you're avoiding him but you don't want him to avoid you] Saint: [a mood, at least it is your dad's bday so you can make it look not blatant] Leilani: [maybe this is a good place to end the convo, like it's rude to them but legit] Saint: [agreed, like, can't really come back from this tonight, you will be going home soon gal and breakfast is not happening today] Leilani: [it'll be a hilarious awks but good starting point for the next convo we do like yeah soz I sobbed on you sir]

[ratwrites]

Lies In Paradise 2/2

Requests.

Masterlist.

Prompt/s: "I don't need a babysitter."

Summary: Sam stays with (Y/N) after the Jinn attack.

Warnings: Lil angst? Fluff

Pairing: Sam Winchester X Reader

Word Count: 3,987

A/N: Not gonna lie I totally lost interest in this ;-; So this is just a little quick happy ending thing. I'm working on some other things to get my creative juices flowing. Trying to write through my block

[[MORE]]

I carried her outside panic clenching hard on my heart while guilt tugged at my gut. This my was fault... I shouldn't have let her go alone. She was limp in my arms as I carried her to the impala. I glanced back spotting Dean close behind me. In one arm he held a young boy and in his other was a girl about her size. The boy was wide awake while the girl seemed a little out of it. I carefully opened the back door letting Dean slide his load in first. I didn't want to let go of her.

"Come on Sam, we've got to get them to the hospital," Dean growled. I convinced myself to let go setting her in the back seat. The other girl gently laid her across her lap. I gave her a nod of thanks before closing the door and getting into the passenger seat.

.

I sat in the hospital waiting room with Dean. My arms rested across my knees allowing my head to hang. My mind was racing. I shouldn't have let her go alone. I ran a hand through my hair the panic still holding onto my heart. I couldn't calm down. "Dylan?" My head shot up. Dean and I jumped out of or seats and headed toward the doctor.

"How is she? Is she alright?" I asked, nervously.

"And how are the kids?" Dean added.

"They're all doing fine. You found them just in time. If your friend or the girl would've lost anymore blood there would be nothing to help them," he explained, calmly. I let out a sigh of relief my heart relaxing a little.

"Their parents have been called. Thank you both," the doctor added, bowing his head.

"May we see her?" I questioned, running a hand through my hair again. The doctor nodded before walking away. We followed after him until he stopped outside her door.

"You check on her, I'm going to check on the kids," Dean said. I nodded and went into her room. To my surprise she was awake.

"Hey Sam," she rasped, turning her head toward me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, coming to her bedside. I stood only for a moment before pulling a chair over. She coughed, looking away for a moment.

"Little tired, but I've had worse," she chuckled, roughly. Her voice was weak and hoarse. I frowned slightly.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Don't start." She cut me off. I tilted my head in confusion.

"It isn't- your fault Sam," she said. I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off.

"I let my guard down when I saw the girl. That was my mistake," she explained.

"But I-"

"Sam, I went alone because I wanted to. It isn't your fault. I can see it in your eyes- you're blaming yourself... And you don't need to," she finished. I breathed in to speak again but silenced myself as her hand gently rested over mine. Without thinking I shifted intertwining our fingers.

The softest smile I'd ever seen crossed her perfect lips. The panic left me and was replaced with warmth. I stroked her thumb with mine taking a monent to scan my gaze over her face. She was paler than she normally was, but the color was slowly returning to her cheeks and face. Her eyes sparkled even through the dull color that currently occupied her eyes. Her smile held sending butterflies into my stomach. Only one person had ever made me experience such happiness in the roughest times. My heart sank slightly. She was another fine example of how people got hurt around me. I slowly released her hand looking away.

"It's funny... The Jinn showed me everything I've ever wanted.." She huffed, looking up at the ceiling. I turned my gaze back to her.

"What did it show you?" I asked, curiously. She let out a puff of laughter.

"I had my family.. I was married and I lived a normal life as an art teacher..." She sighed, sadness crossing her expression. I stayed silent.

"I had everyone.. My sister, my brothers, my dad, Dean..." She hesitated. "You."

I raised my brows in surprise. My curiosity continued to grow as did my hopes. I'd tried to bury the feelings I had for her, but everytime I thought I was in the clear she'd do something else to remind me of how perfect she was. I'd wanted to tell her for a long time, but I couldn't.

"We had a dog," she added, laughing again. My ears caught at we. We? What did she mean we? When she says married.. Did she mean us? I tried to clear my head. Her eyes met mine and I held it.

"I wanted to stay honestly.." She murmured, looking away her smile fading.

"I had everything I ever could've had..." The question pushed at me.

"Why didn't you?" She looked back at me catching my gaze again.

"I-" she looked away for a moment before catching me again.

"I saw a little boy... When- when I grabbed him I heard..." she hesitated.

"Heard what?" I encouraged.

"I heard you.. Yelling for me.." She continued. My heart stopped.

"I could hear you for a split second calling out to me..." I didn't know what to say so instead I waited.

"I couldn't leave you, which is ironic because you tried to stop me from going too," she huffed. I couldn't help myself as I reached forward taking her hand in mine once more. She squeezed my hand lightly. Her face was sad and it broke me.

"Plus, apparently Dean didn't give me my bracelet and I couldn't live without that damn thing," she giggled, trying to lighten the mood. The sadness on her face only faded a little.

"Damn right you couldn't. You never take it off for christ sake." Dean's voice startled me. I wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but I didn't really care. He came to stand next to me resting a hand on my shoulder. I didn't let go of her hand and she didn't pull away.

"How are ya kid?" Dean asked, calmly.

"I've been better," she said, coughing briefly. Dean chuckled.

"Both of the kids are going to be okay. The little boy is actually going to be discharged in the morning. The Jinn barely got anything out of him before we got there," Dean explained, looking back at the door.

"What about the girl I saw when I got there?" She questioned, sitting up a little more.

"She'll be released in a week or so, but we can get you released now if you want," Dean replied. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Get me the hell out of here. I hate hospitals," she pleaded. I frowned looking up at Dean.

"Maybe that isn't such a good idea. We've got a long drive ahead of us and you need to rest," I countered. She frowned playfully at me.

"I can sleep in the car, plus, isn't there an angel back at the bunker?" She corrected. She had a point. Cas could definitely get her back on her feet in a matter of seconds.

"I'll go get the discharge papers then," Dean said, before wandering out of the room. I turned my full attention back to her looking her over again.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You shouldn't really be up and about so soon." I was concerned about her. She rolled her eyes.

"Help me sit up, will you?" I stood from the chair pushing it aside. I gently reached behind her splaying my hand along her back as she began to sit up. My other hand was braced on her shoulder to steady her. She seemed to tense under my touch which was odd. She shifted with a grunt swinging her legs off of the bed. A nurse entered the room with Dean on her heels. The nurse frowned, but began to unhook her from the machines, silently. I stepped aside taking my place next to Dean.

"Are we sure about this?" I questioned, glancing at my brother.

"She said she wanted out so that is what we're doing. I agree Sam, she shouldn't be going anywhere, but I can remember being in her position and I didn't want to be stuck in a bed either," Dean replied, eyeing her.

"Your clothes are in the drawer miss, and the bathroom is just over there," the nurse instructed. She nodded in response digging out her clothes. Instinctively I moved to her side gently taking her arm and helping her toward the bathroom. Once inside I stood in the doorway.

"You gonna stand there or close the door?" She spoke, drawing me from my blank state. My cheeks flushed a light shade of pink as I backed up closing the door. I sighed and walked back over to Dean.

"I hate it," Dean said, suddenly. I glanced over at him giving him a confused look.

"She shouldn't of had to go through that. Coming out of a Jinn's trance is hard," he explained.

"She shouldn't have gone alone. You should've gone with her," Dean continued, blame evident in his voice. The guilt bit at my gut again causing me to look down at my feet. The bathroom door opened drawing my glance. She was wearing the same clothes that were dirty from the warehouse. Dean approached her offering her his arm.

"Shall we?" She hesitated casting a weary glance my way before reluctantly taking Dean's arm. He began to lead her and I followed behind at a sulking pace.

.

The drive back to the bunker was quiet. She'd fallen asleep about an hour in which gave Dean time to call Cas. I stared in the side mirror watching her sleep behind my seat with her head rested against the cool window. Her face held the same expression it did when we found her. I looked away watching the road ahead as we pulled into the bunker's gravel driveway.

Dean drove the impala into the garage parking it. I unbuckled and reached over the seat resting a hand on her knee. I shook it gently. I swiftly let go as she shot up from the window with a gasp.

"Whoa easy," Dean said, looking back at her. We got out of the car and I helped her. She leaned against me as we walked allowing me to guide her steps.

"You okay?" I asked, gently. She didn't answer only leaning harder against my side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder keeping her safely locked against me as we walked. I understood her silence. I'd learned the hard way not to push the matter if she didn't want to discuss it.

Cas met us at the entrance to the library taking her from my side and sitting her down in one of the wooden chairs.

"Can you heal her?" Dean questioned, knowing full well that Cas could. Castiel nodded.

"I'd like to look at the full extend of what the Jinn did to you if that's alright," Castiel began, placing his hand on her forehead. She nodded her approval closing her eyes. We watched in silence as a dim light glowed from his palm. I could make out the movement of her eyes under her eyelids. Cas was reading her. Her grip on the chair tightened suddenly before her eyes shot open with another gasp. Castiel pulled his hand back. I took a worried step forward, but paused. Their eyes met and a sympathic look crossed Castiel. Cas sent me the same glance for a moment rising more questions in me. What did he see? Why did he look at me? What scared her?

"Relax for me again," Castiel ordered. With a shaky breath she closed her eyes again. Castiel repeated the same movements except this time the color returned to her face and cheeks. He backed off again and her eyes opened. Their bright color had returned as well.

"You should get some rest. You may feel unwell for a day or two," Castiel suggested. She yawned clearly not going to argue.

"Cas, can I talk to you?" The angel looked toward Dean and nodded before following him out of the room. She stood from the chair swaying a little on her feet. I didn't ask as I took my place at her side again offering her my arm to help her walk. She took it without hesitation.

I walked her to her room and opened the door for her. I helped her to her bed sitting her down. I had to try.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, quietly. She shook her head before lying herself down. I took that as my cue.

"If you need anything I'm just down the hall," I offered. She didn't respond. I left her room closing the door behind me. Castiel met me outside my own room which was just down the hall from hers.

"Sam, it would be wise to give her some space," Castiel encouraged.

"After what she has gone through and what she has seen it would be unwise to push your presence on her," he added, almost as if he was threatening me. I let out a sigh.

"Can you tell me what she saw?" My mind replayed the things she had said in the hospital, but I still had unanswered questions bouncing in the back of my mind. He shook his head firmly before walking away. I went into my room closing the door. I was tired. I dropped stomach first onto my bed not bothering to make myself comfortable as I very quickly drifted off.

.

I jolted awake to a loud cry and a thud. I snatched my gun from under my pillow and ran from my room searching for the noise. My eyes were tired with sleep, but I forced them open alarm going through me. The cry sounded again signaling that it was from her room. I moved swiftly and quietly down the hall my gun drawn and ready. With one movement I opened her door. In the dark I could make out her form on the floor sitting with her legs drawn up to her chest.

I entered the room sitting my gun on her dresser. I dropped down in front of her and reached out for her. She jumped and scrambled back for a moment. I could make out the fear glazing her eyes. "Hey, hey, it's just me, you're-" I grunted as she lunged forward her arms sliding around my neck. Her face buried itself between her arm and my neck. I stayed on my knees wrapping one arm around her lower back and the other across her shoulder blades. Her body trembled against me. I pressed my face into her shoulder rubbing my thumb against her lower back.

I didn't speak as I held onto her taking in the moment. She'd never clung to me like this before and it was odd. After a few minutes she slowly began to let go. I didn't want to, but I followed her lead. I stood up helping her back onto her feet. She sat on the edge of the bed taking her face in her hands. I stood in front of her staring down at her.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Shock washed over me again as she reached out and gripped my shirt pulling me to stand between her parted legs. She wrapped her arms around my lower back burying her face into my shirt. I hesitated for a moment before letting my arms fall on her shoulders tucking her closer. She shook her head against me giving me an answer to my question. I rubbed circled into her left shoulder blade hoping to calm her down. She was still shaking against me.

"I keep seeing it..." she muttered, into my shirt. She pulled back letting go of me. I followed. Her eyes met mine.

"I keep- I keep seeing it everytime I close my eyes..." she repeated. I placed myself next to her on the bed positioning myself so that I was facing her.

"Seeing what?" I asked.

"All of it... The life, the people... the escape." A chill ran up her spine at the last words. I stayed silent showing her that she had my full attention. She gulped avoiding eye contact.

"Everytime I close my eyes I see my family, my dad and my sister.. And I keep seeing your mom and dad... Along with you and Dean," she began. I was surprised that John and Mary were in this, but I didn't say anything.

"I keep seeing my sister happily married to.." She paused the anticipation of her answer tugging at me.

"To Dean..." I raised a brow.

"I keep seeing..." she paused again looking in a different direction.

"It's alright," I encouraged, carefully taking her hand in my own. She squeezed my hand a little.

"Us.. I keep seeing us," she said, finally. I tilted my head. Her gaze suddenly met mine in an intense stare.

"We were married Sam," she blurted, tears stinging her eyes. My own eyes widened in surprise my grip on her hand loosening.

"Oh God..." She choked. She stood up pulling away from me.

"I tried so desperately not to... but after I saw that, I can't just forget," she continued, turning to face me. I didn't move from the bed still shocked by her words.

"We were so happy Sam... and I- and I gave it up," she sobbed, turning her back to me again. I slowly stood realization hitting me. She left because of me. She had the perfect life with everything, yet she left it to come back to me.

"You begged me not to go... But I couldn't. He wasn't Sam, he was just- just a dream." Her voice cracked causing my heart to clench.

"So I-" she paused again. I took a few steps toward her. Her hands came up to rest near her collar bone.

"So I slit my throat.." My heart dropped. Dean hadn't ever told me how he managed to wake up from the trance. I suppose when you die in a dream you wake up. She turned to face me once more her head hanging low and her shoulders trembling with each sob. I came forward until I was in front of her again. I reached out and pulled her close trapping her against my chest. Her hands stayed curled between our bodies as she cried.

The feelings I had buried were surging back tenfold. Her fingers tangled into the fabric of my shirt. I continued to rub circles into her back until she relaxed her sobbing calmed down.

"What's going on?" Dean's voice suddenly called. She pulled back from me looking at Dean who stood in her doorway.

"I- I had a nightmare, that's all," she muttered. Dean's cold stare met mine.

"You okay? I know it can be rough after something like that." Dean stayed at the doorway.

"I'm fine." she defended, taking a step back. Her body brushed against mine.

"Best thing to do is to go back to sleep. Yes, you'll probably have another nightmare, but the more you sleep the faster it wears off," Dean explained.

"I can stay with you if you'd like?" Dean suggested. She turned and walked away from the two of us sitting down on her bed. I turned my back to Dean watching her.

"I don't need a babysitter," she warned, looking away from us. I glanced back to Dean who was staring daggers into my back.

"Alright, if you need anything yell." Without another word Dean left. My heart ached for her. Dean was her best friend, yet she was pushing him away. The silence in the room was overwhelming. I had so many questions and so many things I wanted to say, but when I opened my mouth all of those words stayed trapped in my throat.

"Dean's right... I should just go back to sleep," she muttered, looking down at her feet.

"You need to rest anyway, Cas said you shouldn't be up and about for a few days," I agreed.

"I- I'll let you-"

"Please don't leave me," she whined, her head shooting up to look at me. I stared at her for a moment. She'd told Dean she didn't need someone to watch her, yet she was asking me to stay.

"Please." Her voice was so soft. My mind trailed back to what Cas had said to me. He'd warned me to stay away. Screw him. As I walked back to her bed she slid further onto it making herself comfortable on her side. We'd slept in the same bed pleanty of times, but this was different. I sat on the bed leaning my back against the headboard. She moved closer almost snuggling herself against my leg. After a moment I couldn't contain myself. I slid down onto my own side facing her. She flipped the covers over me trapping our bodies under them.

"You don't- have to do this... I understand if what I told you..." She paused.

"If what you told me...?"

"Makes you uncomfortable." She thought that I didn't care about her. She thought that the feelings she had were one sided.

"No, no it doesn't." I had to reassure her. I scooted closer pulling her to me. I draped one arm over her side locking her in.

"I'm glad you told me," I murmured, catching her weary gaze.

"I know with this job, this life, we are supposed to keep the ones we love far away. We can't afford attachments... But I can't keep you away. I can't keep pretending like these feelings... These feelings don't exist," I admitted. Her eyes widened.

"You aren't the only one who has been burying things.." I finished. The silence that fell between us was comforting. Our eyes never left each others.

"Sam I-" she hesitated. I opened my mouth to question, but was stunned to silence as she suddenly moved capturing my lips with hers. Butterflies exploded in my stomach causing me to kiss back. My eyes slid closed allowing myself to take in everything. I'd wanted this for a long time. She shifted her position keeping us together as she pushed my shoulder. I followed her silent comand and rolled onto my back taking her with me. Her upper body rested on mine her arm bracing herself on my chest.

Our kiss finally broke leaving both of us breathless. I opened my eyes to look up at her. Her hair hung down over her shoulders almost touching my face. I reached up brushing a section of it behind her ear. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead causing me to lean upward into it. She moved back shifting her position until her head rested over my heart. I let one arm slide further up her back holding her close against my side. One of her hands lightly gripped the fabric of my shirt while the other took my free hand intertwining our fingers. I could've sworn I was melting under her touch. She snuggled closer causing my heart rate to flutter. She giggled tiredly her ear resting directly over my heart. "Relax Sam, I don't bite," she yawned. My cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"You should try and sleep," I mumbled.

"I'm trying, but your voice is rumbling my entire head," she pouted. I couldn't help but chuckle. She raised her head for a moment giving me a playful glare before laying her head back down.

"Thank you for staying with me Sam.." She yawned, taking one last moment to cuddle against me.

"Anything for you," I replied, letting my own eyes slide closed.

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