#definitely rb if u want i would appreciate it !!

[boyfhee]

ㅤ ꣑୧ㅤㅤ:ㅤCANDLELITㅤㅤ𝒻t.ㅤㅤ성혼

﹙10097﹚ SYNOPSIS . . . the dating scene sucks, especially when the only person you want to be with is your roommate.

꣑୧ GENRE . . . roommate au, 'i hate them but they're hot' kind of energy

꣑୧ WARNINGS . . . profanities, drinking i mean lots of drinking we need alcohol shortage here, sunghoon smokes, mentions of one night stands, one very suggestive make out scene in the fourth section, undertones of cheating but not from sunghoon or reader, implications of sex although it's very light

꣑୧ NOTES . . . hi ( _ _; ) drowning in nervousness as i'm posting this. it's my first long fic after months ... i think the last one was in may or june 23 ... so please be nice >< don't know why but this didn't turn out how i wanted it to and it's definitely not one of my proudest works, but i hope u guys like it nonetheless huhu TT happy reading and please rb and drop feedback, it's highly appreciated ^_^

001. WHERE THERE’S HEAVEN THERE’S HELL

sunghoon is spiralling again. 

a part of it is because of the endless assignments from classes, but that’s no news. he knows it’s his fault for procrastinating and waiting till two days before the due date to even think about working on them— unlike jake who somehow attends classes probably four times a week and is seen in the football fields instead, and still manages to be the first one to submit his essays. it’s admirable, annoying at most. when he sat down to do his sports science project three days before it was due, sunghoon realised why his professor gave them two months to finish it. 

but realising your mistakes and working on them to be a better version of yourself are two different things.

for one, sunghoon believes those assignments are useless. no one cares about the impact of sports on society, maybe except heeseung and jake but again, in sunghoon’s mind, those two are never important. second, he’s too perfect to be working on himself. sunghoon is the best version of himself. he was born the day his uncle died, and his dad inherited the entire chain of restaurants his family owns across the country. he’s too amazing to be worrying about getting a degree he can buy— he thinks the university should be honoured he’s choosing to study— but that’s simply because his mother doesn’t want him to turn out like his sister. 

back to the matter at hand— as he puts the beer can on the table and sits back on the couch, his eyes travel to the door yet again. seventh time in just a minute, he’s keeping a record of how you make him wait. 

if there’s one thing he hates is being irresponsible ( coming from the great king of irresponsibility himself. ) you said you’d be back by twelve, and it’s half past one in night and not a soul knows your whereabouts. thirteen texts, seven missed calls, his phone is at forty-one percent and sunghoon is at his limit. if it wasn’t for your mom he wouldn’t give two flying fucks about where you are and how you’ve been.

sunghoon is actually surprisingly obedient and well-mannered, as opposed to the popular belief. he gave you and your mother the whole tour of the apartment the day you moved in. even made some coffee which isn’t much but your mother had loved him. he could see it in the way she looked at him with those sweet eyes, holding his hands as if he was her own son, and asking him to look after you. 

‘please take care of my daughter,’ sunghoon thought he was getting married. instead of a wedding bell there were warning sirens going off. to this day he doesn’t know why she asked him that, minutes after she saw a dead cactus in the balcony that he killed by overwatering. he couldn’t even say no to her and just nodded, looking over at you briefly and noticing how you look like you were a bit embarrassed. sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s so serious about ‘taking care’ of you. he thought it would be easy, but you had to be devil’s favourite spawn and sunghoon happens to be your target.

however, he can’t take this anymore. he has a morning class and waiting till two am while drinking beer has done more damage to sunghoon than it should. he gets up from the couch with a sigh, leaving the empty cans unattended for a night as he makes a mental note to clean tomorrow. it isn’t until a click from the door stops him in his tracks. 

“i’m back,” your voice is quiet, a yawn following immediately after your words as you look down while taking off your shoes. you’ve been drinking again, sunghoon can tell it from a mile away. 

“you’re late,” he speaks over the silence, hands on his torso as he’s giving you those squinted eyes and doubtful looks. if sunghoon didn’t know any better, he would assume you fucked someone at the club with how messy you look at the moment.

“yeah well, we had to take gigi to the hospital,” your lazy voice isn’t much louder than a whisper. you stumble towards your room, a hiccup followed soon after by the same quiet and slurred tone. “she ate something weird,”

he huffs at your words, knowing it would very well be just another excuse. “you could’ve at least texted,”

“my phone died,”

“i’m sure your friends would be happy to lend you their phone,” he pauses when he feels himself getting a bit annoyed. a soft sigh falls off his lips as he looks down at the tiled floor before looking up and speaking in a much calmer voice. “i’m just saying it’s not exactly safe to be out alone on the streets this late at night,”

“i wasn’t alone,” that piques his interest. “jay drove me back,”

and sunghoon felt his whole world stop. “jay?”

“yeah, jay, park jongseong,” your voice is surprisingly sweet when you take his name and it bothers sunghoon for some reason. his face scrunches up when you bite back a smile, hoping it’s the alcohol not because of what he thinks it is. “he’s nicer than i thought,”

sunghoon is not unfamiliar with the name park jongseong.

he hears it every day on and off the campus, more often than he likes. first things first, he’s just as popular as jake, for being american, which brings sunghoon to the question— why in the world would he leave america to study in korea when jay could have attended one of the ivy leagues with his face and money?

and the second and more important question, why in the world is park jongseong dropping you home at two in the night?

sunghoon only watches you in disbelief and astonishment as you stumble to your room, mumbling something incoherently. your words ring in his ear like sirens. ‘he is better than you’ jay is better than sunghoon. he scoffs almost offensively in your direction. that has to be the biggest lie of the twenty-first century.

he follows you to your room, reaching out to grab your arms when you almost trip but you manage to balance yourself. he opens the door and turns on the lights for you. “why were you with him to begin with?”

“oh, you don’t know?” and you turn around with eyes wide open as he shakes his head like a deer in the headlight. “he asked me out,” 

sunghoon didn’t get a single ounce of sleep last night. 

it’s your fault, clearly. had you been back earlier on the time, nothing would’ve happened. and jay— sunghoon sights at the thought of him, eyes narrowing as he grits on his pen as if he’s going to break it into two. 

“dude, are you hungry?” jake pokes sunghoon by his shoulder, dragging the latter out of his trail of thoughts. 

“what?” sunghoon shoots a blank look, one that makes his friend sigh in concern. afterall, it’s not everyday he sees sunghoon chewing on a pen. “i’m not,”

“you’ve been out of it since the morning,”

and sunghoon has been out of it since jay’s name fell from your lips. 

he’s not your friend, definitely not the first guy you’ve called by his name after sunghoon. but something doesn’t sit right. even after tossing and turning in bed for the whole night, he can’t figure out what bothers him more— the fact you said jay is better than him, or the fact that he asked you out on a date.

it’s the first one, he convinces himself. who you date is none of his business, he can’t be arsed enough to care about your love life or relationship status. ( although, he does care a little because he’s nosy. ) what bothers him more is that jay is, to put it in simple words, a player. all that face and no empathy for emotions is a waste, and to think you don’t know this— or maybe you do and yet still chose to go out with him, is beyond sunghoon’s comprehension. 

“what do you think about jay?” he asks abruptly, catching jake’s attention, looking at him a little too intently for an answer. 

“he’s a nice guy,” a casual reply before he gets back to his assignment before jake looks back at sunghoon with newly found interest. “he turned in my spanish essay last week, oh and drove me back from the bar a few days ago after you ditched me. why?”

sunghoon simply shakes his head, getting back to his books even though his focus is nowhere near studies. at this point, he doesn’t know if it’s jay distracting him or you. even your words keep playing over and over again in the back of his head. jay and nice in the same sentence doesn’t seem fit. sure, he helps his friends and drops his girl back home, but that’s only three days before there’s a new girl in his arms. 

002. RUNNING OUT OF SANITY

sunghoon doesn’t hear the door click open when you come back from your classes, too busy in the balcony while humming a tune that you recognise immediately. you take off your shoes, noticing how he taps his foot along with the melody, and it’s quiet in the apartment, apart from the sound of traffic and wind rustling through the trees around.

“i don’t like people who smoke,” smoking is not on your list of likes, but you find yourself next to sunghoon whenever he’s with a cigarette. just like now, when you return from yet another one of your dates— or meet-ups as you prefer to call it right now— with jay. it wasn’t really planned. you bumped into him after classes and he was on his way back home, so you asked him for a coffee. 

he almost jumps at your sudden voice but manages to compose himself, scowing at the distaste in your expression before scoffing, the cigarette still dancing between his lips. “good think, i’m not looking forward to be liked by you,”

he studies the frown on your face, glares as if your eyes are shooting daggers in his direction. it’s amusing to him how easy it is to get on your nerves. he leans against the metal railings, hair falling over his forehead. his eyes stay on your for a few seconds before he holds the cigarette between his index and middle finger, putting it away from his mouth and blowing out the smoke in your directions. he laughs mockingly when you step back, fanning out the smoke with your hands, cursing under your breath.

“are you crazy?!” you exclaim in annoyance, coughing slightly at his poor attempt at entertainment. your frown deepens when he mumbles a quiet apology although not meaning it, from the looks of it, and lifts the cigarette back to his lips. 

“you’re back early,” he states casually, tapping the cigarette butt and watching the ash fall down from the balcony before a taunting chortle falls off his lips. “did jay dump your ass or something?”

your nose scrunches up at his actions, although mostly at the tobacco you can still smell in your air. you look down at the road, watching a mercedes passing by. “no, he had to go somewhere so he left early,”

“i knew it! he’s good for nothing,” and he drops the cigarette to the floor, crushing it with his foot even though at the back of his mind, he knows you’re going to yell at him for cleaning that up. “what kind of guy can’t even spend time with his girlfriend?”

“we’re not dating,”

“that’s worse!” he emphasises, and a pause follows as he looks at you with a confused expression. “wait— didn’t you say he asked you out?”

“he did, but he said he wants to wait until exams are over,” there’s a hint of displeasure in your voice. his eyes travel down to your fingers, especially the ring you’re fiddling with before they’re back on your face when you speak again. “we just decided to hang out,”

he practically scoffs at your words, quite literally in disbelief. a knowing sigh comes out of his mouth as he stands straight, this time standing with his back against the railing, feeling the cold metal though his thin white t-shirt. a part of him wants to laugh at your stupidity and point at how naive you are, while another part of him wants to find jay and beat him to pulp. he doesn’t know why there’s anger pooling in his stomach at the mere thought of jay just messing around with you. 

“what a sick bastard,” he huffs with a tincture of annoyance in his tone. “how much do you want to bet he’s playing with you?”

“you’re the one who’s sick,” and even though it clicks with him that you’re referring to a few minutes earlier when he smoked all in your face, sunghoon still frowns when you call him sick. “he’s just prioritising his studies, there’s nothing wrong with that. at least he doesn’t smoke while being all up my face,”

you two just bask in silence after that.

he doesn’t have much to say— actually he does, but he doesn’t know how to put it in a decent, coherent way. of course, your reaction won’t be the most pleasant if he told you he wants to punch jay’s good for nothing handsome face. he wonders what you’re thinking when he looks over at you. you seem happy whenever you talk about your supposed ‘future boyfriend,’ yet it’s evident that you’re upset. he likes to think you’re having your doubts too. it's reassuring to him for some reason— because that’s good for you, of course. if you’re upset, you have your doubts, and if you have your doubts you might not fall victim to whatever sick game jay is playing. 

“oh, actually, he doesn’t smoke,” but then you speak in a matter-of-fact way, as if comparing him to jay before giving him a mocking smile. “he’s better than you,”

those words ring in his mind for a good while. 

you go back inside and he hears you shut the door to your room as an annoyed sigh falls off his lips. hearing that jay is nice from jake was another thing, but hearing to say he’s better than him leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. and he doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, these little changes in how he usually is, it’s new. it’s frustrating him out. 

it isn’t until his phone vibrates that he’s dragged out of his ocean of thoughts. his brows furrow when he notices the time, having realised that he basically wasted the entire noon even though he didn’t attend classes after giving heeseung an excuse that he’s sick. his eyes squint at the sender, and then a groan escaping his lips when he opens to read it. 

noh chaeun  4:15pm hoon! my last two classes have been cancelled are you up for some coffee?

sunghoon doesn’t reply, rather leaving his classmate’s messages on seen, too bothered by his inner turmoil to spend time with her. it’s not like him to be this way, to be so bothered over something that doesn’t concern him. you’re definitely not someone so significant and jay is definitely not the first guy you’re with. in fact, he has seen you kiss that guy from one of your classes— as much as he hates to recall that incident now— and had sneaked up to tell your mother about it over the phone when she had called you.

you’ve never had a serious relationship, not after meeting him. in his head, you always came back to him and he’d be lying if he hadn’t joked about it with his friends during the initial few weeks after you had moved in. when he had mentioned to jake that you’re pretty and his friend had teased him a few days later, saying his ‘crush’ was with this other guy, sunghoon, did in fact, say he doesn’t care because you always come back to him; or rather his apartment, actually, but whatever fits the joke. 

that day, he had a good laugh out of it and the joke died back then itself, more so after he started complaining about you to his friends. your habits, your actions, the things you say that tick him off, your quirky and quick remarks— everything. perhaps, even about your habit of arriving late on weekends from parties and ruining his sleep because you forget the key most of the time, so he has to wake up and open the door for you, but not guys, never guys. 

it hurts his head to even try and figure it out, to find the reasoning behind the pang in his chest every time you mention jay. he likes to think it’s just harmless competition although for no reason, even though both of them have done plenty of things to piss each other off just for the fun of it. sunghoon thinks he can live with it and walks back inside to the living room, until he sees you walking out of your room on phone with someone, the name of he who shall be mentioned rolling off your tongue again, and he finally pulls out his phone with a frustrated sigh. 

sunghoon  4:21pm sure, i’ll pick you up in ten

“actually, my mom wants to invite your family over for dinner this weekend,” the girl in front of him speaks with a smile after muttering a quiet thank you to the waiter after he gets their order. “she’s very grateful  for the donation your dad made for our art gallery and wants to thank properly,”

“talk to my parents, then,” it’s a simple reply, too bland and forced for her liking.

sunghoon hasn’t spared her a single look in the past ten minutes that they’ve been sitting together at the table. firstly, he doesn’t know why he drove to a restaurant when she asked for a coffee. it’s not even close to dinner time, and the awkward yet sweet smile on her face didn’t make it better for him, so he ordered starters and drinks to drag their little impromptu dinner out. 

“sunghoon, to be honest,” chaeun tries to strike up a conversation again, despite the constant lack of effort from his side. “i want you—”

“hey, isn’t that jongseong?” and he cuts her off immediately, finger pointing outside the glass panes beside them as he stares in the direction behind her with brows knit together in shock. “who’s that with her?”

“jongseong?” she repeats the name before turning her head, forming an ‘o’ when she spots a familiar figure through the multitude on the streets. “ah, that’s myung jihye. she has been pursuing him for a while. i guess he finally agreed,”

“they’re dating?!” his voice is full of surprise and disbelief unlike hers, so seemed to be happy for the girl instead. he stares outside with a heavy silence as the couple disappears between the crowd before looking at the girl in front of him.

“oh, i wouldn’t say that…i don’t know but it’s possible they are.” it doesn’t miss her attention how sunghoon’s fingers tighten around the fork. “everybody in our major knows jihye has crush on him and they’re probably a thing by now,”

and he wishes you were here with him right now so that he could show you the true colours of the dear guy you’ve been going out with, the one who’s supposedly ‘better’ than him. he wants you to realise that his words weren’t false and he isn’t sick, after all, and if you’d cry, he would be down to tell you it’s not the end of the world. that there are a hundred other guys better than jay, ones who won’t even breathe in front of another woman, who’d treat you better— hell, i can treat you better if you ever give me a chance— and then a pause in his train of thoughts.

he looks at chaeun, who’s looking back at him with a perplexed look and her own set of questions. his mind replays those words yet again, and he screams internally.

what the heck?!

surprisingly enough, sunghoon has been thinking about jay for the whole evening now, obviously not in a good way. his eyes keep travelling to the knife stand on the kitchen island occasionally and every single time, he has to convince himself that murder is not the right answer to anything. 

for some reason, he can’t stop imagining your smiles while on date with jay. not that he has ever seen those— wish i could— as he slaps himself out of his state of mind yet again. not only that man is playing with you but on jihye who’s apparently his girlfriend? he lets out the ugliest scoff known to mankind, because in sunghoon’s head, jay is a sick joke made by biology.

he waits for you to return from your shopping spree for about an hour, having beer as a company. he tries to stay awake although his eyes get droopy, and then every ounce of sleep leaves his body when he hears the door unlock. 

“yn,” he practically jumps out of the couch, it almost scares you. he accidentally bumps into the living room table on the way, knocking an empty can of beer to the floor but too busy to bother picking it up. “i have to tell—” his eyes go down to the eleven shopping bags in your hands, as he counts them. “— wait, what did you shop so much for?” 

“oh, i have to attend a family wedding next month,” his chest feels warm when he sees you smiling and looking so excited, and it’s making him go crazy on the inside because he doesn’t know what is happening to him. for some reason, he starts imagining you in a gown, like the one you wore for the fresher’s party, but then he forces his mind to get back to the point. “i’m thinking of asking jay to be my date,”

and his heart drops down to his stomach.

this has to be a fucking joke, and he tells himself. for a split second, he thinks he didn’t hear you properly. maybe you said jake because, well, jake did tweet a ‘date for rent’ form five months ago when he needed money to buy tickets for a post malone concert that cost more than his gentle monster glasses ( not that he got any money but at least they got a good laugh out of it. ) 

you remove your shoes and put the shopping bags on the couch before sitting down as well, letting out a heavy sigh. “you look like you saw a ghost,”

“a ghost would’ve been better,” he catches you looking at him when he mumbles under his breath, sort of grateful you didn’t hear him before sunghoon would rather not have another argument with you over how jay is not only a bad choice, he’s the worst choice. 

he looks over at you when you pull out your phone, fingers fluttering over the screen as you text someone with a giddy smile. he considers telling you what he had seen earlier, but god, he loved to see you smile like that. the way you press your lips together to suppress a grin, looking ever so happy as if you have won a lottery. he doesn’t think you’ve ever smiled like that at him, and it aggravates him even more when he realises that you probably smile like that every time you see jay. 

jay is getting everything he isn’t deserving of, and it pisses sunghoon off down to his bones. 

but again, he can’t bring himself to tell you the truth. you look too happy for your own good, it pains him physically to even imagine your reaction when you’ll come to know the truth. and then he pulls himself together, telling himself that it is your fault in the first place to trust someone like jay and ignore the warning signs he was giving you. 

in the end, he leaves without having any further conversations with you, going to bed two hours earlier than usual even though he knows he isn’t going to get any sleep. sunghoon is convinced he’s losing his mind, faster than a day ago actually. he lets out a frustrated groan and covers himself with his blanket, hoping to catch some sleep. 

it’s going to be yet another long day tomorrow.

003. A CHANGE OF STANCE

sunghoon thinks you’re hot.

what the fuck?

“i asked something,” you remind, pulling him out of his trail of thoughts and he flinches slightly, making your brows furrow in confusion. “how do i look?”

“huh— what? oh,” he takes in your appearance again. hair down, make up done— you’re wearing your favourite lip tint? and the best dress he has seen you in so far, looking so mind blowing it actually blows his mind and short circuits his brain. 

even your favourite lip tint … sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s looking at your lips in the first place but little does he know he’s fucked. 

absolutely. completely. fucked.

nonetheless, he manages to compose himself, clearing his throat and sitting up ever so elegantly on the couch, legs crossed, the magazine still in his hands. “you look…t-terrific,” 

you can’t help but get even more confused at his words, wondering if it was a bad idea to even ask him for his opinion, even though you play along. “like in a good way or a bad way?”

“in a terrific way,” he blurts out, eyes wide open as panic settles in slowly inside his stomach, and he’s stuttering, shocked, surprised, fucked, again. “you look terrific in a terrific way…so terrifically terrific in the most terrific way possible,” 

“are you high?” 

well, he would say he is! never in the two years that he has known you did sunghoon think he’d find himself floored, figuratively, and speechless, literally, at the sight of you. and he’s not saying you look bad on other days. you look good, in fact. good as in plain and presentable, but never in a good good way and definitely not in a hot way, of course. 

“anyway, i’m going out. receive my parcel for me if it arrives,” you move to put on your shoes, taking a few seconds to pick between the two you think would suit your outfit. for a moment, you consider asking him to help you choose— as you look at him up and down peripherally, and he looks terrified. and you shrug it off, grabbing one of your loafers.

“where are you going?” he asks after a good minute of silence, sounding calmer than earlier as he gets off the couch and walks up to you. his nose scrunches up in disapproval as your hands move to one of your jimmy choos for a brief second, before you decide to go back to your initial pick.

“date,” he takes a moment to register your words, despite this happening many times.

a date. he scoffs softly, looking away, arms crossed. 

a date, again. sunghoon doesn’t give a fuck. 

“with jay,” you continue, this time with a sweet smile on your face that makes his heart flutter for some reason. maybe, he does give a fuck. 

now, sunghoon should feel bad for his fellow friend of a friend because he’s on a date with you, but instead he wants to snap his neck in two. the name is starting to give him an ick— jay this, jay that. you’re hanging out with jay, having coffee with jay, going on a date with jay, shopping with jay, next would be going to bed with jay— he pauses immediately, shaking his head. he doesn’t really like the sound of that.

“whatever,” he tells himself when you walk out of that door, looking all pretty and excited. he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up over a date, that too with someone who— according to sunghoon and chaeun— is dating someone else. he would pay to see you back home all miserable and he would point fingers at you and laugh, saying he told you already while you had your conscience and rationality clogged up with the possibility of getting dicked down. 

but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re on a date with jay fucking park. and you’re looking hot. 

he sighs, slouching back on the couch, looking outside at the bright blue skies and then sighs again. he needs to be lobotomized.

it’s three in the noon and sunghoon is drowning himself in misery and pity. and soju.

a glass after another and then another, along with two empty bottles already on the table. even the owners are giving him a weird look and heeseung can only let him ruin his reputation so much.

“there, there,” the senior takes the half empty bottle of soju from his hand and puts it aside, sighing pitifully at sunghoon. “that’s enough for today. you need to stop drinking,”

“heeseung,” sunghoon looks up at the guy in front of him, looking horribly pitiful, eyes a bit unfocused from the alcohol settling in his system. “do you know yn?”

and heeseung pauses for a few moments, not knowing what prompted him to ask this question. more so when you and heeseung went to the same highschool and even were in the music club. he nods slightly in doubt, raising his glass to his lips. “of course,”

“do you think he’s pretty?”

“of course,”

“do you think she’s hot?”

“of course,” it takes heeseung quite a few seconds to respond and sunghoon sort of wants to punch him in the face for agreeing because he feels a certain way when others find you hot— but he would claim it’s soju giving him heartburns. “why are you even asking this suddenly?”

“she went on a date with jay,” he responds in the most miserable and sullen voice known to mankind. his shoulders practically slouching at the mention of he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, finger tracing the rim of the glass in front of him with incoherent whines falling off his lips.

“so what?” jake interjects, beckoning the owner for yet another bottle for soju. it was necessary, as heeseung had warned earlier while arriving at the restaurant, considering sunghoon’s impromptu text about wanting to meet up. 

“jake, did you hear what i said? she’s on a date with jay. park. jong. seong,” the youngest spells out every syllable, sitting up straight as he gets defensive. “she thinks he’s madly in love with her or something but she’s wrong! the day i went out with chaeun, i saw him with jihye and guess what? chaeun said everyone knows they’re a thing but apparently, yn doesn’t know this. i’ve told her so many times that he is not worth it but she won’t understand she’s fucking dumb oh my god,”

and…silence.

absolute fucking maddening silence that made sunghoon go even more insane before jake finally decides to speak, albeit in disbelief. 

“that monologue was unnecessary,” the foreigner pours in another glass for the three of them, filling them up completely, knowing this is going in a new direction yet a one that has been anticipated by both him and heeseung. “besides, since when do you care about her?”

“she’s my roommate,”

“you like her,” heeseung exclaims, and silence follows again for a few seconds before sunghoon gasps scandalously, slamming his glass down on the table which turns a few heads in their direction as jake mutters an embarrassed apology for it.

“i don’t,” sunghoon speaks in a voice much calmer than his previous tone, even leaning in towards the table to put emphasis on his words. jake pours himself another glass, scoff at his words while shaking his head mockingly which only pisses him off more.

“i knew this would happen,” heeseung continues, stating it as a matter of fact while nudging jake to pour him a glass as well. “saw this coming from a mile away when you cried over her going on a blind date the last time you got drunk,”

he can’t point out when that must’ve happened, but he doesn’t refute his words, simply letting his eyes travel across the room for a few moments. the frown on his lips deepens when he meets jake’s knowing gaze as he gets defensive once again. “i’m telling you, i don’t like her,”

“you said that about hello kitty but she’s everywhere in your room now,” he turns his phone with the screen up when he feels jake’s eyes on it, or particularly on the hello kitty sticker on his phone cover as the boy nudges him for another glass. “go on, you’ll need it.”

and sunghoon does, drinking more than he usually does thanks to jake filling his glass again and again for the sake of his sob story. the cab drops him in front of his apartment and he stumbles his way to the elevator. the silence sobers him out for some reason as he leans against the walls of the elevator and thinks about you.

perhaps you’re still with jay, sharing smiles and stories, kisses if you’re brave enough. he likes to think you are not, that you would chicken out— it makes him feel better about himself. he imagines you holding hands with him and then shrugs that thought off his mind just as quickly, huffing at the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth as he walks out of the elevator once it reaches his floor.

sunghoon planned to take a shower and sleep, but every thought water downs to nothing when he spots you crouching next to the door with knees pressed up to your chest. he can’t see your face, but he knows you’re sad, and it makes him stop in front of you, his heart accelerating when you look up at him with glistening eyes.

you look miserable.

and sunghoon has no reaction. he’s frozen, hands on his side as he stares at you. he was supposed to laugh at you for your stupidity. but you look so utterly sad and heart broken, god, he wants to punch jay in his throat. yet again, every single thought leaves his mind when his eyes fall back on your face, his hands instinctively opening out to you as he speaks in a voice as soft as a feather.

“let’s go inside,”

004. CANDLELIT 

“he said it was a bet,” you speak over the silence, fiddling with your fingers. you look up at sunghoon— who’s sitting with legs crossed in front of you while you’re curled up in one corner of the couch. “and that he never meant to drag it out for so long but he didn’t know how to tell me,”

“a bet?” he scoffs bitterly, looking away for a fraction of a second before his eyes are back on you. “what an asshole,” 

it’s not the first time sunghoon has said that. in fact, asshole is all and the only word he uses to define jay. you still think it was a stretch, for jay isn’t that bad. sure, he lied to you and played with your feelings— which you will never accept that you had feelings for him because you don’t want to look pathetic— but he wasn’t rude. well, at least he paid for all the three dates you two went on with the locations being some high end restaurants or bakeries. 

on the other hand, sunghoon stares at you in silence. his eyes trace over your sullen face, and then to your fingers. for a second, he considers holding your hands…roommates can do that at least, right? to comfort one another, but then he catches you looking up at him and he averts his gaze to a distant corner. “don’t start crying now!”

“i’m not! i didn’t even like him that much…” and he can’t help but suppress his smile at the pout on your face as you refuse to look at him. it’s adorable, he never thought he would ever say that, but it’s true. your mannerisms are cute, you’re cute, and it’s eating his brain cells.

“is that so? you talked about him like you two were in love or something,”

“stop it!”

he stares at you quietly for a few seconds again. even though you’re being defensive out of embarrassment right now, trying to prove to him that you’re not heartbroken, sunghoon knows you’ll be crying the moment you’re behind the closed doors of your room. on other days, he wouldn’t care so much. not more than giving a few pats on a back and telling you to suck it up despite the concern in his voice. today, however, he feels differently.

you got played. it’s your heart that’s broken. you feel like a fool, and yet sunghoon is sitting in front of you, trying to find words amidst awkwardness and hesitation. his heart feels heavy for you. it’s unfathomable on his part.

he suddenly remembers the day you mentioned that jay is better than him. he almost scoffs at that, again. well, you might harbour feelings for the american guy but at least sunghoon never had you holding back your tears. and he swears it would never come to that, if you ever have feelings for him because sunghoon would be a better boyfriend— and then he comes back to his senses as soon as those words register inside his brain, cheeks heating up at the sudden thought before he clears his throat. 

“do you want ramen?” he manages to change the topic ever so swiftly, getting up from the couch and already walking to the kitchen without waiting for your response. apparently, getting away from you would ease his heartbeat, although hearing your voice has just as much effect on him as your presence or a mere thought of you.

“are you cooking?”

he lets out a breathy laugh at your words, getting two packs of ramen from the shelf. “of course, do you think i’d ask you to cook when you look like you went through a divorce and lost the custodies of all your three kids?” 

you frown at his words, although ending up laughing at them just a second later. it’s hard to not laugh at how silly he is sometimes, if you ignore his annoying tendencies. sunghoon puts the water to boil, fighting back a smile at the sound of your laughter. it’s better than seeing you all sad over a guy who doesn’t deserve you.

you get off the couch as well, making your way to the kitchen, wanting to help him since he listened to your sob story. it’s quiet, and you hear slight rumbling outside as you take a quick look at the weather outside through the windows and then within a few seconds, thunder pierces through the silence hanging in the room. 

sunghoon flinches visibly, freezing in his stance before the sound of heavy rain fills the kitchen. he turns on the electric stove and it blows out. all the lights in the apartment go out, darkness settling in and disturbed just as quickly as the room fills with bright flashes of light, illuminating your face for a short second before it’s dark again.

“wait, i’ll get my phone— oh,” you reach out for the back pocket of your trousers, quickly get your phone and turn it on for the flash light before it powers off. “out of battery,”

he takes a blind step into the darkness when it thunders again and he notices you standing with your arms around yourself when the light surges in the room for a moment again. he hopes you won’t push him away if he puts his arm around you, but then you two bump into each other. a quiet apology finds its way out of your lips, and he can tell you’re flustered. 

“where are the candles?” he asks to distract you from the fact that he’s holding your hand and pulling you aside gently, so you don’t crash into each other again. your hands feel oddly warm in this cold weather, and it only flutters his heart even more.

“second shelf from the right i think,” your voice is interrupted by thunder again and your hands instinctively tighten around his fingers. and then a loud thud follows, causing you to gasp slightly. “are you okay?”

“i can’t fucking see,” his voice is strained, oozing off pain as he lets go off your hands. you open your mouth to speak before he bumps into something again. something falls off the counter, perhaps the spoon by the sound of it and he apologises shortly after. it’s harder to navigate around his own apartment, more than he had imagined.

sunghoon manages to find the candles, setting them on the counter with pure intuition before lighting one of it up with the lighter he always carries around in his pocket. he turns around, almost bumping into you and before he could say anything, he sees you pressed up against one of the counters, face illuminated by the dim candle light. 

you’re close, too close, he’s afraid you can hear his heart going crazy at the proximity. his mind is telling him to step aside but he’s too lost looking in your eyes, ( as you are too ) with you looking so impossibly beautiful under the faint golden glow. 

“is this okay?” he whispers softly and you simply nod, not a word coming out of your mouth as you find yourself entranced by his face. sunghoon has always been aphrodite’s son, as his admirers would call him, and now that you’re seeing him so closely, you’re realising he’s something much more beautiful.

it doesn’t slip your attention how his gaze settles on your lips for a quick second, your body tensing up at the sudden movement. your breath hitches as he leans closer, dipping his head down. your heart is racing while he feels like his heart has stopped— it’s timeless, as he finds himself just a few centimetres away from your lips, not wanting to stop even though he gives you a chance to pull back, whispering softly, “can i?”

you nod. and sunghoon doesn’t waste another second, capturing your lips with his. 

it’s still at first, with your lips only pressed up together for a few seconds. it’s only a few seconds after he pulls back ever so slightly, and then tilts his head to the other side and goes in for another kiss, this time moving his lips slowly against yours. he feels you tense up for a brief while and then melting as you kiss him back, your fingers lacing around his tenderly. you flinch when it thunders again, breaking the kiss, but feeling shivers down your spine as you feel his breath on your lips. 

he takes a few seconds, fingers ghosting up your hands to rest on your waist, tugging you closer as he brushes his lips against yours. “focus on my lips,”

and he kisses you again, this time a bit more firmly, albeit it’s slow and gentle at first, his lips moving against yours in a way that's both comforting and exciting. but as the moments pass, he presses in deeper, more insistently. he lets his body press more firmly against yours, his chest touching yours as his tongue gently teases at the seam of your lips. it was working, the way his lips move against yours, it calms your nerves from the thunder but lights them up again when he nibbles gently on your lower lip, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he continues to kiss you so fervently. 

it takes a passing second for you to realise what you’re doing. it surprises you, however not enough to pull back, or maybe the way his tongue feels against yours stops you from doing so. you’d be lying if you say you hadn’t thought of kissing him before— as early as two days after moving in. and now that you’re actually kissing him, everything feels like a fever dream.

he tucks your chin up with his fingers, pulling you in closer to deepen the kiss. he is a good kisser, sunghoon uses that to boast about himself, he has always been good at this— kissing, bragging, making your knees weak, and all you could do was melt into him wet and sloppy kisses that he plants on your skin. 

he dips his head down to your neck, pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, pulling your blouse aside to get a better access to your collarbones and shoulders. it felt like his body has a mind of its own, and he’s only following right behind. when a soft gasp leaves your lips, he moves back to your lips again, wanting to swallow every little sound you make that makes his mind haywire. 

your breaths are heavy, hands around his neck with fingers grazing the skin of his nape. a movement that makes him moan softly in the kiss as he presses you against the counter, holding you between his arms. his hand that's resting on your hip moves up, tracing the curve of your waist and then sliding under your shirt to rest on your bare skin, lips curling up in a subtle smirk as he hears you gasp yet again. 

“sunghoon—” you pull back, getting a quick glance at his half-lidded eyes when the lightning from the thunderstorm fills the room. he can still feel your laboured breathing on his lips and it does nothing but pull him in even more. after all, sunghoon would be lying if he said he didn’t imagine doing this with you.

“we’ll stop,” he pecks your lips, then trailing his lips down your jawline and to your neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along your skin. “when the candle goes out,” 

005. WHERE THE LINE FADES

when sunghoon wakes up the next morning, he’s met with cold empty sheets on the side and the memories from last night start flooding his mind. his heartbeat accelerates at the mere thought of you, especially how you were last night and every time his name fell off your lips in bliss and pleasure— he would’ve preferred waking up to you rather than emptiness. 

he lays idly for a few minutes and stares at the ceiling, looking for where it all had started. was it the day you told him jay asked you out? maybe not, he doesn’t like to think of himself as a jealous person. it must’ve been when you asked for his opinion on your outfit, he tells himself, you looked too good to be true that day. a few seconds more and he sits up with a soft groan, seemingly unable to find answers to any of his questions.

the weather seems to have improved as he notices the cosy sunlight outside. he slips on this shirt before walking down to the shared bathroom, rubbing his eyes softly and brushing his fingers through his hair with a sigh. he puts his hand on the door knob and looking up in surprise when it opens on the other side.

“oh,” the slight hint of shyness on your face doesn’t escape his gaze, just like how enchanting you look this early in the morning with hair wet from the shower. you bite slightly on your lower lip before the awkwardness in the air is disturbed by your voice. “morning,”

actually, it must’ve all started the day you moved in.

“morning,” he replies back, rubbing his nape and looking away. the weight of questions lingering around makes it hard for him to look in your eyes. “would you like to have breakfast?”

you nod and follow him into the kitchen after making a short trip to your room. 

you steal a few glances at him while eating your breakfast, feeling your palms sweat at the thought of bringing it up to him. you avoid it for a few minutes, tossing the question around in your head while trying to make small talks about the ketchup, as bad as it could get. it feels a bit suffocating until you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. “so about last night—” 

“it was a mistake,” he cuts you off immediately, a heavy pause following shortly after. he looks up in your eyes for the first time since the morning. “let’s just forget it,”

and his words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. it could’ve been just another one night stand for you had it not been with sunghoon— your roommate, the person you see everyday, the person who managed to give you butterflies the day you moved in. your fingers tighten around the spoon and you consider arguing back for a moment before you push that idea further back in your head.

it could be just another thing added to the lists of things that have been buried, like the time you and sunghoon almost kissed in the elevator last year.

“right,” you nod quietly, convincing yourself that it’s not a big deal. that he’s just another guy in your life like jay. actually, you don’t feel like wanting to compare them anymore. you don’t know where the line marking the difference fades. “of course, yeah,”

you don’t even like the sound of that.

“yeah,”

you don’t wait another minute before leaving your unfinished breakfast on the table and going to your room. his eyes follow your movements, conscience nudging him to chase after you. he contemplates it for a while, and then you walk out with your bag. “i’ll see you after classes,”

and then sunghoon doesn’t see you for the rest of the morning.

or the day, in fact. usually, you two end up bumping into each other at least once, but sunghoon doesn’t see you around for the whole day. he skips spanish, deciding to go back to his apartment earlier than usual. he turns on the tv, deciding to watch a football watch with beer on the side while waiting for you. an hour passes, then another, and another.

there’s no sign of you.

it isn’t until he rings up a few of your friends that he hears that you’re staying over at giselle’s for the night. he wouldn’t blame you, couldn’t, not after everything that went down a night ago. you needed some space and so did he, but somewhere inside he wondered if he should’ve been honest with you when you brought up that topic during breakfast instead of saying the first thing that came to his mind and dismissing it.

but, he dismisses it again, letting you be on your own for as long as you need, knowing you’d come back soon.

which you do, the very next day, much to his surprise. he had expected you to avoid him for at least a week. he notices the way you look when you return early in the morning, tired and exhausted as if you hadn’t got a single ounce of sleep. there’s silence engulfing him but you walk to your room before he could even open his mouth to speak. and then you ignore him for the rest of the day.

he starts feeling annoyed at some point, trying to come up with a reason for your actions. he tries striking up conversations with you and you give short responses, or just nod. when you walk away without answering him when he asked about your day, sunghoon wanted to grab your wrist and pull you back for a second, but he dismisses that idea just as soon as it pops up in his head. he doesn’t even realise how quickly time passes in silence, not until he returns from heeseung’s apartment after spending two nights and one day with him and jake and checks his phone, realising it’s already close to being a week till you’re gone radio silent. he notices a few texts, mostly his study group that have been planning meet-ups to study, one that he rarely attends. his eyes especially squint in confusion at the texts from your mother, saying she had been trying to get in touch with you but getting no response. 

he was on his way to his room when he heard the door unlock. a pause, the click of the doorknob strikes through the silence, followed by your footsteps. he takes a few seconds to sort out his thoughts before speaking. “your mom texted me since you weren’t picking up her phone,”

“my phone died,” you give a simple response, almost too quickly for his liking. he lets his eyes follow your movements as you take off your shoes and jacket, putting it on the couch. 

it takes him back to the day you told him about jay asking you out. 

it was exactly the same— you arrived late, your phone had died. he was asking the same questions, albeit laced with annoyance. today, it’s hesitation, maybe slight doubt. sunghoon can’t stop you from seeing jay, but the idea of you being with him bothers him more than expected. so, he follows up with yet another question. 

“where have you been?” he asks, wanting to maintain a casual demeanour even though his heart is pounding in his chest just from being near you. he isn’t expecting any response, actually, however he’s met with surprise when you actually reply. 

“with jay,” the words fall from your mouth as if you’re used to them, used to saying his name. there’s an awkward pause before you clarify. “we had dinner together. he wanted to apologise properly,”

“that’s— that’s great,” he manages to squeeze out, but sunghoon thinks jay could’ve left you alone instead of meeting you if he wanted to apologise so bad.

you definitely had feelings for jay, even though they didn’t go as deep for you to come home sobbing your eyes out the day you learnt the truth. to sunghoon, that is enough of a reason to hate him even more. just the mere thought of your heart sinking whenever you’d even think of jay made him fist his hands, nails almost digging in the palm of his hands. 

sunghoon doesn’t have much experience with girls. in fact, none at all. flings are one thing, and girlfriends another. he has had both— none too serious. the first time someone asked him out was in highschool, although he’s surprised it didn’t happen much earlier. that time, just agreed to go out with her because his friends were in relationships too and he didn’t want to fall behind. it wasn’t soon before it turned into a competition after he got into university. not his best self, it isn’t something he’s proud of now that he thinks about it. 

and sunghoon isn’t half better than jay in that aspect, although obviously not as bad as to bet on going on a date with another girl while he already has a girlfriend. however, if you had feelings for him— as he thinks while watching you walk to your room— he wouldn’t let a single tear fall from your lips. 

“about that night,” he follows you into your room, practically hearing his heartbeat echo through his ears. he gulps nervously when he notices you looking at him with a sliver of hope in your eyes. “it wasn’t a mistake,”

“oh,” and you stop in your tracks, having no idea how to respond. an awkward pause follows as you bite your lower lip habitually before speaking, feigning a casual tone. “well, we can still put it behind—”

“i don’t want to,” he blurts out, cutting you off mid sentence. you notice how his voice is quiet as always, yet there’s panic and anxiousness behind those eyes. “i mean, i tried to, but it’s difficult. you’re always on my mind,”

there’s a silver of determination behind his voice. it’s surprising and equally anticipated. sometimes, he feels like he thinks of you every minute no matter what he’s doing. it was never this bad, these days even the regular banters between you two give him butterflies. and sunghoon understand that he might be far from your type in men. perhaps, you actually prefer someone like jay, who treat you to a fancy dinner to apologise, or maybe that guy from a few months ago who can’t remember the name of. 

you and sunghoon can be polar opposites and he would still be standing here, fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his denim jacket, looking so uncharacteristically out of place. he would choose to have this talk again, as much as he hates confronting, because it never about who your type is and always about the fact that you’re sunghoon’s type— as he realises this when you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, looking at him with lips pressed together. you look cute, more so when you’re awkward, and he can’t believe he’s coming to terms with this but god, he is falling for you. 

he is falling hard, and falling deep. it’s nothing like him, you make him nervous, almost as if knocking him out of air whenever your eyes meet, and he would gladly suffocate to death. it was quiet with too many questions hanging above his head, and he noticed the way you fiddle with your fingers with the cutest expression known to mankind and sunghoon knew he was screwed. 

“i’ve got it so bad for you, yn, really,” —he speaks as if he’s out of breath due to the nervousness— “really bad. i tried to keep you out of here,” he said, pointing at his chest, cheeks flushing red as the words fell off his lips. “but you won’t go, you just won’t.”

and sunghoon has never been so…out of place, for the lack of better words. it’s amusing, even to you, the way he is right now. the sunghoon from three weeks ago wouldn’t even care but he, now, is pouring out all of himself, as if stripping him naked of his emotions and letting him see what lies behind the suave smiles and prideful words. as if showing you how easily you have him going crazy, right out of his mind and how he can’t help but just stare blankly as his eyes travel down to your lips occasionally— as they do now— and it leaves you in a frenzy when you notice it. 

“i can’t stop thinking about that night— not in a weird way, just…” and you’re just standing in front of him, trying not to laugh at his antics. he’s cute, a pause, what the fuck. and then you just go along with it, knowing there’s no point denying it anymore now that you two are having this conversation.

you notice his little mannerisms, like how he can’t look in your eyes for the life in him, how he keeps shifting his weight from one leg to the other. it’s adorable, especially the way he can have all the attention in the room with just his mere presence. that’s sunghoon for you, with a presence so heavy it’s loud even when he’s silent. it’s so loud you can practically hear his mind, of all the words you know he wants to say but can’t. there’s a hitch in his breath, his eyes meet yours for the first time in the past few minutes— i like you— they say, and the next thing sunghoon knows is that you’re kissing him. 

“i like you too,” you whisper against his lips after pulling back, your lips brushing against his. sunghoon feels like every single nerve in his body has been sparked, giving him goosebumps when you slowly intertwine your fingers with his.

of course, you know how he feels even before he could say it out loud. maybe, he just made it obvious for you to guess, otherwise sunghoon likes to think of himself as someone who can hide his feelings well. he lets go of your hands as soon as he feels you lace your fingers with his and instead, cups your cheeks ever so tenderly and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling in the kiss. “i love you,”

˃ᗜ˂ : if you made it till here, i'm sending each one of u kisses >< thank u for reading, i hope u liked it. ps i had to put my heart aside and write jay's name ... never again will i put my man thru this huhu TT he's too good to do these things

[stunies]

EVIE’S NOTE! welcome to my very first event! this is an open fandom, minecraft centered event that is open to anyone 18+ (anons, strangers, non-followers & non-mutuals are more than welcome to join in!! i would love to create a little selfship / match up post for you)!

if small text is hard on your eyes, see here for this exact post in large text & auto caps. otherwise, details & how to join are written below!

INPUT (SEND THIS BLOG AN ASK)… first: your pseud / name (if anon, u can name yourself … anon A? sparkling anon? or just anon). second: if off anon, send me a picrew of yourself! any picrew is fine, but there’s one if u can’t pick. if on anon, describe yourself in detail please! for skin tones, i think i would cry if i got the wrong one, so please give me your fenty beauty foundation shade as a little reference ^^; then send either your preferred fandom or your f/o’s full name!!

AVAILABLE FANDOMS : blue lock, genshin impact, haikyuu, honkai star rail, kaiju no. 8, my hero academia, one piece, tokyo revengers, and wind breaker. you’re more than welcome to send in fandoms that aren’t listed! just know that i am unfamiliar with the character but will do my best (: so i guess any fandom goes

RECAP : send pseud / name + your description or picrew as an ask. if you have an established selfship, send name of f/o. if you would like a matchup, send your preferred fandom instead.

EXAMPLE 1 (MATCHUP) : “evie, kind of wavy black hair, light blue eyes, skin tone : fenty beauty 150 - neutral). please match up with someone from wind breaker! *insert info about my personality that would help me find your match*” + any characters that i definitely do not want to be paired with!!

EXAMPLE 2 (SELFSHIP) : “evie + moze, here is my picrew !! *optional: insert some cool info about my selfship that would help me set u two up on a date”

OUTPUT (WHAT I MAKE)….. here’s the link to an example!! i make a post on @z3vie, and i will tag you if you’re not on anon. if you’re on anon— then u gotta scroll!! it’s there somewhere beloved!!

i’ll make you and your f/o a minecraft skin- to the best of my abilities. features will be vaguely represented since i’m not very good bahhaha. i’ll set you up on a minecraft date!! who’s fighting mobs and who’s picking flowers ? >:o we will see. there’s a limited number of date ideas, so repeats will happen. thennn finally, i’ll make you a little moodboard and blurb to go along with it.

OTHER INFO THAT MIGHT BE RELEVANT… i won’t post your ask. i’ll delete the ask when im done & mark yours as complete in my queue! my queue is below, so you can see which ones i’m working on. also, it’s a very chill event! you’re welcome to send me no selfship info, or pages of selfship info. don’t even stress about it ^ ^ !!! (tho u should send me selfship lore because i am nosy) u could send me the minimum and i’d make it work. PROMISE so pls join pleaseee plsplspls ALSO rbs to boost are very appreciated and i will give u a big smooch for it !!

oh shoot also stunies is severely understaffed (there is only one evie here and no twice in existence to duplicate myself) so please be patient > < i will do my very best !! trust :>

ONE MORE THING MY DEAREST FRIENDS! this selfship event is in collaboration with @mlkbwunnies’s 2024 yume creators market !! meaningggg a bunch of others are hosting selfship events right now too!! free free to check out ying’s masterlist here :> HAVE AN AWESOME SELFSHIP WEEK YAYY

evie-specific booth info: OPEN from nov 11 - end of nov 15 (PST). though it’s not a hard deadline. bahaha. anyone 18+ is welcome to join! ^ ^ there’s no slot limit / max !

CURRENT QUEUE! if searching for your completed post, see @z3vie !! also, if your name isn’t listed here- that means your ask did not go through (i didn’t receive it). my ask box has been problematic for the last month or so, so just send it in again > < !! (note — the animal group names have no relevance, they are just cute hehe)

POSTED / COMPLETED

deer group — ( grey / letta / kiki / yue )

polar bear group — ( min / rye / ying / nick )

cat group — ( awea / aegis / sua / gray )

hamster group — ( kendall / lauren / kruin / rara)

UPDATE — these 4 just need blurbs … soon

IN PROGRESS — making skins tmr!

rabbit group — (rae, lena, marlyn, and aspen)

lion group — (aliyah, hea, quinn, and bibi)

NEXT UP — divided into groups of four:

koala group — (sylvester, kayla, lexi, and jess)

tiger group — (venus, em, nyx, and meirin)

axolotl group — (jiae, romy, luvie, and candy)

panda group — (kai, ai, cy, and aims)

fox group — (jay, liv, amor, and sam)

bumblebee group — (bee, flora, zebra, and atlas)

unicorn group — (ophelia, fuji, venus, and mari)

hummingbird group — (esther, risu, mitzi, lotus)

sea otter group — (

[lelengerine]

Hi! If your drabble event is still open, could I please request Jisung + college au + fluff/comfort? Jisung always looks so college boyfriend coded and he is kinda sensitive irl so I think he would fit perfectly as a thoughtful sweet boyfriend 😔❤️‍🩹 Thank you for your hard work!

https://x.com/502spidey/status/1641690274211459072?s=46&t=Tq9aSdZbZ4voR3kbqgerrw

warm, cozy, you

pairing | bf!jisung x reader

genre | sickening (somewhat literally) college au fluff, lots n lots of kisses, nicknames are used for jisung and y/n (jiji and bun respectively)

wc | 0.5k

notes | this is my first work with jisung here! thank u anon for sending in the req it was so cute i loved making this (hopefully its what ure looking for) as always, likes, rbs, and feedback are highly appreciated

this is part of my drabble req event here!

m.list

“jiii, could you not go to class just this once?” your groggy murmur tries luring your boyfriend away from his morning schedule, arms engulfing him in a comfortable bear hug. “it’s so cold, i don’t want you to leave.”

“bun, if i’m not going then who’s taking the class for the both of us today, hm? i’m attending just to make you notes. i know you get grumpy when you don’t understand things from the lecture.” a deep chuckle rises out of his chest as he brings a hand up to touch your forehead, “i don’t want to leave you while you’re sick either—” he states, now using the same hand to pat your head, “—but i’ll come back just as quickly as you could say… um… park jisung!”

“park jisung.” you frankly blurt out in response, as if trying to challenge his words from the get go, leaving the boy utterly flustered. “that’s- that’s not exactly what i meant…”

“i know, i’m just teasing you.” a soft smile makes it way up your face, and jisung softly presses his lips against yours.

the bashful display of affection has you feeling all warm inside, making you forget the fact you were feeling chilly just moments ago. though, it also made you forget about another thing— “jiji, you could get sick from that!” you yelp in place, pushing him away ever so slightly, leaving your boyfriend hanging on the abrupt kiss.

“i’ll just drop by the pharmacy for some more of your meds after class then.” he whines at the lost of contact with a sulky pout, lowering back down shortly after to pepper your skin with more dainty kisses, leaving you with no space to protest against his words.

“there, that should keep you warm for the time being, don’t you think?” he pulls away, marveling at the sight of the flushed trance you were in because of him. “maybe…”

“hm? a simple maybe won’t do though?” jisung tilts his head, pondering for a brief moment before going into your shared bedroom to get something. “here, let me help you put it on.” he states, a familiar grey hoodie in the palm of his hand — it was the ragged one he would usually gravitate to when he was rushing to class. you once offered to replace it with a new one when you felt a small hole through the fabric that definitely wasn’t there before, yet he declined saying he just liked it that way.

his answer was simple, yet made you like the worn-down hoodie all the more like a little trinket.

with you busy with your thoughts, jisung easily slips the warm fabric onto your figure. it’s all warm, cozy, and even smells just like him — the feeling being enough to make you all drowsy again.

jisung cups your cheek as your head starts drooping a little, “you should go back to sleep now, i’ll really be back soon.”

“okay… promise?” you look up at him with pleading eyes and a faint smile, still holding onto the hope that he might just give in and stay in with you.

“don’t give me that look, bun. i promise i’ll come home quick.” he answers back playfully, returning the smile before watching you walk back into the bedroom before picking up his backpack for class and locking the front door after himself.

he should really come home as soon as he’s done with his errands, he reminds himself. after all, how could he leave your sickly self all alone without him acting as your teddy bear?

[kavalyera]

How would the marquis react to being kidnapped for information by a female reader? I feel like he’s be kinda annoying the whole time, lol.

his ass is NOT quiet thats for sure

lil bro yip yapping and shit like that

ʚ♡ɞ

Kidnapping a High Table agent?

Probably happened like multiple hundred times before

Considering it’s quite the office, you know?

You and your group’s been eyeing this guy for a while(in a non-romantic way)

The Marquis de Gramont

An agent for the High Table

Sent to enforce the rules governing the criminal underbelly of the world

Even though he looks like he’d run away from a fight rather than partake in it but you digress either way

It’s not gonna be hard trying to get him though

You need information, some insider shit

The High Table has important things behind their walls of representatives and agents

But your team manages to snag his ass though so there’s not really anymore anxiety

So there you are, on a chair above his sleeping beauty ass

Vincent, seriously

Who sleeps this heavily?

It’s been five hours of you looking over at him and he has not woken up

He definitely has no intention of waking up now-

You kick his shoulder

The Marquis is on the floor, wrists tied together with some thick, rope with thorns

And he wakes up, obviously confused at first

You shine a flashlight at his face and he instinctively falls back to the floor

Putting his hands up in front of his face because shit, he just woke up

“Rise and shine, eggs and bacon” you say to him while playing with the flashlight

You expect some sort of plea, a sob, maybe even a question

“Who even eats bacon nowadays?”

Now technically, you did get your question

Not that kind of question though

You remove your flashlight away from him in disbelief, scoffing

Vincent looks up at you, eyes still trying to adjust to the light

“Who the hell are you?” He asks you

You look at the Marquis

“A person”

“With your face?”

That was so uncalled for

“Excuse me?” You say

“I’m on the floor” Vincent retorts back with

“Yeah, ‘cause you deserve that”

One more hour and he won’t shut up about art

“You know I kidnapped you for information about the Table?”

“Woah, really?”

Annoying and sarcastic? What the hell?

“So unless you want your Armani pants to be stained with your blood, I suggest you answer me truthfully”

Vincent scoffs

“These are Tom Ford”

You kick him in the shoulder again

“Stop that!”

“You’re gonna tell me who the hell’s working for that Alighieri guy”

“I don’t know, I’m an agent”

That’s what they all say when they don’t want to tell you things

You want information and you’re gonna pry it out of him even if it gets blood on your hands

You pull out your glock and jam the barrel against his squishable cheek

Vincent looks at it, presses his lips together, and looks back up at you

“I don’t know”

It comes more softer than earlier

“Why can’t you kidnap someone like the Adjudicator?”

You roll your eyes at that remark, god, the Marquis is such a bitch about it too

“Well, they’re smarter than you-”

“Excuse me, connasse?”

“You’re excused, now tell me things I need to know”

Two more hours and the only information you’ve got is a lecture on the Renaissance of art and-

And office gossip…

Well atleast you know some of the men working under the guy you’ve got a hit on

hiii!! this was so funny lol love this prompt thank you ;3c also there’s a reference to an ao3 fanfic here, think u can spot it? :D rbs appreciated sweethearts

[saetoru]

hi! im so incredibly sorry to bother you but i think you may have blocked one of my other blogs and i was wondering if i could ask why?

please don’t feel pressured to answer whatsoever and definitely feel free to ignore this, i really don’t want to trouble you in any way. i just wanted to know if i did anything wrong or something to offend you?

i really try my hardest to stay neutral and friendly as well as respecting and following everyone else’s blog rules so i’d really appreciate any feedback or insight if you’re happy to give it. whatever i did, once again, im so incredibly sorry to bother you, i don’t mean any harm at all, ever. if i did something to offend you, it was never intentional, all i really try to do on tumblr is rb pictures of cats most of the time anyways.

please don’t take this the wrong way, it just makes me super anxious that i might’ve done something to someone that may have hurt them or made them uncomfortable. i really loved your writing and your blog and i can’t apologise enough if i messed up or anything. of course, i totally understand that sometimes people just choose to block people for their own reasons and i respect that no matter what. i’m incredibly sorry if i encroached on your boundaries in any way, i just really held your writing close to my heart and it saddens me that i can’t view it anymore. but that isn’t your fault whatsoever. i respect you so much as a writer and a person and i just wanted to say that i’m really sorry if i did anything. i’m sorry tee.

okay bestie i can’t rly tell unless u share ur url tho 😭 but honestly sometimes ppl leave comments or tags that make me feel weird / annoy me — i’m human and sometimes i block over petty reasons (i’m working on it fjsjfj) but overall i like to think i block with decent cause so unless ur ageless, you’ve probably said something to slightly (or perhaps highly) irritate me or you may have spam liked ?? idrk unless i see ur url tbh. i mean if u send me ur url i won’t post it and if i can’t recall why ur blocked i might as well unblock (as long as ur age is present)

anyway if i block u i’m not saying everyone should come swarm me with “can i ask why” bc that would be annoying but sometimes writers are human and sometimes we block for dumb reasons and if you think perhaps you haven’t rly done anything worth blocking besides maybe me taking out a bad mood on a slightly accidentally annoying thing u did, i might just unblock if ur url doesn’t ring a bell in my mind for something memorably obnoxious. especially if u think it’s bc u didn’t have an age in ur bio before—some of u don’t know to do that till after and i get that !!—im happy to unblock if you’ve since then added an age. but again this isn’t an open invitation for all blocked blogs (id assume ur lurking if ur blocked and reading this LMAO) to come ask me why or for an unblock but sometimes if u rly believe you’ve been blocked by mistake or for a petty reason i’m willing to check is all i’ll say

anyway yeah if u see this send ur url—be mindful of any comments or tags u leave, sometimes u might be unintentionally a bit rude and that could be a big reason why !! also don’t spam like i rly rly hate that

edit: i appreciate the kind comments about my writing NFJSJF i thought i’d add that in bc ofc sharing writing is the main reason im here and hearing u enjoy it and such is nice to know. thank u for reading and thinking highly of it that’s rly sweet <3

[z3vie]

EVIE’S NOTE! Welcome to my very first event! This is an open fandom, Minecraft centered event that is open to anyone 18+ (anons, strangers, non-followers & non-mutuals are more than welcome to join in!! I would love to create a little selfship / match up post for you)!

INPUT (SEND ME)… Firstly: your pseud / name. Second: if off anon, send me a picrew of yourself! Any picrew is fine, but there’s one if u can’t pick. If on anon, describe yourself in detail please! For skin tones, I would cry if I got the wrong one, so please send me a Fenty Beauty foundation shade as a reference ^^; then send either your preferred fandom or your f/o’s full name!!

AVAILABLE FANDOMS : Blue Lock, Genshin Impact, Haikyuu, Honkai Star Rail, Kaiju No. 8, My Hero Academia, One Piece, Tokyo Revengers, and Wind Breaker. You’re welcome to send in fandoms that aren’t listed! Just know that I am unfamiliar with the character but will do my best (: so I guess any fandom goes !!

RECAP : Send pseud / name + your description or picrew as an ask. If you have an established selfship, send name of f/o. If you would like a matchup, send your preferred fandom instead.

EXAMPLE 1 (MATCHUP) : “Evie, black hair, light blue eyes, skin tone : fenty beauty 150 - neutral). Please match up with someone from Wind Breaker! *Insert info about my personality that would help me find your match*” + any characters that i definitely do not want to be paired with!!

EXAMPLE 2 (SELFSHIP) : “Evie + Moze, and here is my picrew !! *Optional: insert some cool info about my selfship that would help me set you two up on a date”

OUTPUT (WHAT I MAKE)….. here’s the link to an example!! I will post it on @z3vie, and I will tag you if you’re not on anon. If you’re on anon— then you will have to scroll!! It’s there somewhere my beloved . /// .

I’ll make you and your f/o a Minecraft skin- to the best of my abilities. Features will be vaguely represented since I’m not very good bahhaha. I’ll set you up on a Minecraft date!! Who’s fighting mobs and who’s picking flowers ? >:o We will see. There’s a limited number of date ideas, so repeats will happen. Thennn finally, I’ll make you a little moodboard and blurb to go along with it.

OTHER INFO THAT MIGHT BE RELEVANT… I won’t post your ask. I’ll delete the ask when I’m done & mark yours as complete in my queue! My queue is below, so you can see which ones I’m working on. Also, it’s a very chill event! You’re welcome to send me no selfship info, or pages of selfship info. Don’t even stress about it ^ ^ !!! You could send me the minimum and I’d make it work. PROMISE so pls join pleaseee plsplspls ALSO rbs to boost are very appreciated and I will give u a big smooch for it !!

Oh shoot also: Stunies is severely understaffed (there is only one Evie here and no Twice in existence to duplicate myself) so please be patient > < I will do my very best !! Trust :>

ONE MORE THING MY DEAREST FRIENDS! This selfship event is in collaboration with @/mlkbwunnies’s 2024 yume creators market !! Meaningggg a bunch of others are hosting selfship events right now too!! Feel free to check out Ying’s masterlist here :> HAVE AN AWESOME SELFSHIP WEEK YAYY

Evie-specific booth info: open from Nov 11 - end of Nov 15 (PST). anyone 18+ is welcome to join! ^ ^

CURRENT QUEUE! if searching for yours, see @/z3vie

Completed & posted: see my original post with the small text for updates

Sent in an ask: see my original post with the small text for updates

[penvisions]

Hello Dev 💛🥹

How are you doing? I hope honestly that you’re doing good because you deserve it. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

So I’ve made it my mission to spread some of my love and appreciation to all my favorite writers (which you are one of clearly) for the work u put in creating stories that make me very happy. I literally have a list full of names, that sounds crazy, but I promise it’s nothing weird I’m just trying to keep track 🫠😅

Before I get into my mission, I have to say something else. I think it’s really fucking terrible of people to steal writers work and then go around and trying to manipulate the writer to believe they actually stole first like the audacity to gaslight wtf. I’ve seen one too many times that an incredible writer gets their hard work just copied and there’s so little you can do about that and then the people who steal are so fucking mean. I get it writing is hard and sometimes you look at other peoples stuff to see how they write to get creative juices flowing but you don’t just straight up copy it I mean, I would ask for writing advice or idk, anything but plagiarism….there’s so many people who love that writers work and they will notice when that writing shows up somewhere else and then you have a lot of people on your ass rightfully so for stealing. And now that I’ve actually started to write something myself, I feel like I can understand it a little more because if I just try to imagine that somebody would take this story and try to sell it as their own when it is literally my story like actually my story, this is my life experience written in a story and you’re trying to sell that as your own, I would go ballistic I would, I would be very mad. Let’s just say that. 💀

Dev I’m truly so sorry that happened to you 💛

Well, enough of that let’s get into the good stuff 😚😚

I am pretty sure I found my way here because somebody else (I don’t remember who anymore🫣) rb your story “by the grit of Sandpaper” and it absolutely peaked my interest. I mean basically anything with Joel Miller peaks my interest, but you know. 😉💛 Sadly though I did not get around to reading it yet. I’ve kind of also been putting it off because I want to read it and then immediately let u know what I think. If the memory is still fresh, then my thoughts are much better articulated if that makes sense. Here’s the thing I’m trying to write my own first story and simultaneously i have a lot on my other list of stuff that I really want to read or reread and it’s a little overwhelming, but I’m trying to work my way through that and let me tell you when I get to your stories you will definitely see me scream in a very loving way for sure. 😅💛

I think you’ll probably see me scream even before that because one of my other mission is to engage more and be more mindful of the fact that there are people writing the stuff that I love, so please know that you should never feel pressured or forced to get a chapter or story out as quick as possible. I will wait however much time it takes because in the end, it’s absolutely worth it.

Ok one last thing (this is already so long I’m sorry 🥺) I know everyone on here is literally a person like me and everyone is just writing their silly little stories but I look up to so many and it feels like interacting with a celebrity, I hope that doesn’t sound weird. I might also feel like that because I’m a very secluded person like I talk to 2 people in my day-to-day life, I definitely talk more to my plants than anyone else 😅 🫣🥴

Dev u made my morning with making us mutuals I squealed like a little girl seeing the notification, does that make us friends (?). I mean the love for Pedro already connects us🥹

I would love to know, since ur a cat mom, what kind of cats u have and how many 😍

And since u like to bake I’m interested to know what’s ur favorite thing to bake 👩‍🍳🧁🥯🎂🍰🍪🍩

I hope u have fantastic day and take care of yourself Dev 💛🫶🏻

i love that you've made it a personal mission to brighten everyone's days with your lovely self!! only a truly good person would even think to do it and i love you for that. the discourse has been insane this year and trying to combat it is an admirable notion, thank you for your kind words on the really shitty instance of my fics getting stolen not once but twice, really ♡

take your time working through your TBR, bb, i know mine is about a mile long lol. fics seem to call on us when we're ready and in a good place to accept them, so i trust in the waiting process c: i

i hope youre writing is going well and that the words are flowing, you got this!! i can't wait to read what you have to share with us

of course we're friends, bb, we always were even if we just didn't know it yet ♡♡

i've got four fur babies! two tabby brothers, a flully void, and a fluffy tortie, they are my world even if they don't let me sleep much these days as they get used to their new home

and my absolute faaaavorite thing to bake is cookies! they're so versatile and there's so many choices for fillings from chocolate chips to macadamia nuts c:

hope the days are good to you, ily ♡

[piggybonez]

How did you get into the scene/decora subculture?? :>>

hi!! i think i discovered decora fashion by watching the YouTuber cybr grl, (check them out if u dont know them they are amazing and so informative about jfashion in general and also just a really sweet and fun YouTuber all around. ive learned a lot from their videos and they make me really happy to watch bc they’re a super kind and positive person ^.^) but i have a hard time pinning down exactly where or how it started? before i knew it i was just trying to hunt down as many pictures i could of people wearing this fashion and i began cultivating a style of my own around it as well. before getting into decora/scene i was definitely an emo/punk and i wore basically all black all the time. (band tees and ripped jeans mostly like an incredibly basic broke bitch style if u will) most of my wardrobe is still black right now so im trying to get more color into it. it’s funny how my style and interest in fashion took a complete 360 that way.

what i love about fashion is that it is completely your own to play with, and i like to challenge myself to take inspiration from all my fashion interests and put them together as my own unique style. (im a big fan of trad goth as well shout out to the goth subculture) as far as scene fashion goes i still haven’t gotten the chance to build a very scene style wardrobe but i do my best with what i have. scene/decora in particular are really fun and interesting and exciting to me because i feel like my middle school self would have appreciated it the most and would’ve wanted to dress that way then but it’s not until i got older that i ever had access to that knowledge or the ability to pursue a style of my own. i feel like when ur plus size and poor and even disabled it can be really hard to dress in a way that you like. fatphobia makes it really inaccessible and difficult to elevate ur style not to mention how much clothes cost EVEN AT THE THRIFT STORE‼️

but anyways, i just really love the 2000s scene/emo era and i know for a fact if i had the ability i would’ve been one of Those Kids. i hung out with those kids and i definitely didn’t look normal bc i was an undiagnosed autistic “girl” with a mohawk and i looked punk as fuck but i only ever wore what was given to me so i never had a sense of style or a sense of self until after i got away from my parents. now i just love to use my tumblr blog and also my pinterest as a way to appreciate these styles and indulge in the interests and passions i didn’t have the opportunity to appreciate before. i feel like growing up with trauma makes it really hard for u to develop ur own personality outside of survival, but that’s why my tumblr is my safe space and every rb of a weirdo with teased hair and accessories all over heals my inner child. im sure this is a much longer post than u were expecting but i love talking about these things so thank u for asking this question!!!!

also didn’t mention this before but another reason why i love decora is because it’s so incredibly unique to each person, NO ONE does decora like me because i use the materials around me to create my style! i love that decora can be casual or over the top (ott), and i also love that i can prioritize my comfort while wearing it. (baggy shirts, comfortable jeans, crocs, tennis shoes, whatever) sometimes it can be majorly uncomfortable to wear especially bc summer is so hot and because i get overstimulated super easily by all the accessories (for example wearing kandi is not easy for me sometimes) but i suffer through and i make do and i cant wait to be a fashion icon one day :p

[corninthegob]

Wasn't tagged but IM GONNA DO IT ANYWAY B-) if u see this feel free to rb even if i didnt tag u

3 SHIPS

i will restrain myself from making all 3 of these OFMD i swear on my life i can think of a different show i can do it ((sweating and shaking and crying))

Gentlebeard (Our Flag Means Death). i cannot add extra details like with the others or i will combust. I love them so much.

um

uhhhhhjh

nick and stu WWDITS 2014 honestly it doesnt even have to be romantic at all like that isnt really in the film i just want more of them interacting together and i happen to have a gay agenda where i want people to be gay in my medias

Venom and Eddie look i swear im not a monster fucker like that may be a little bit the reason but also i love how their relationship evolved over the 2 films and also My Gay Agenda

BONUS SHIP!!! Spirk ive literally never watched the original star trek but ive seen like 10 clips of the way they interact and Holy Shit. Oh My Fucking God. plus they invented half the goddamn fandom tropes in existance i cant NOT love them

speaking of star trek, we need more Tuvok appreciation. Voyager was the first series i watched and he is by far my favourite character. i love him. He's the best.

FIRST SHIP

Im pretty sure it would be Discord x Celestia from MLP:FIM or some pairing from youtuber Aphmau's old Minecraft fantasy roleplay series

LAST SONG

Meltdown by Iroha

LAST MOVIE

either JoJo Rabbit, The Wilderpeople, or WWDITS (2014). i literally never watch movies this is all from like the earlier half of this year.

CURRENTLY READING

Slow crawl, but I've been reading "No Longer Human" by Osamu Dazai. It's really good but it has some REALLY fucked up content in it so please only read it if you're able to handle that stuff (i say ignoring my own advice)

Another one I've been slowly going through since the end of last year is "Shiver," Junji Ito's collection of some of his shorter stories. It's all horror manga and contains a lot of disturbing imagery and themes.

Part of the reason I'm taking so long to read both these books, despite them both not being that long, is because of all the goddamn OFMD fics ive been reading ever since the first season ended 😭😭😭 i may be slightly (extremely) obsessed with this show ok after all the years of queerbaiting and my pessimism towards us ever getting mainstream queer love stories and representation i was FINALLY PROVEN WRONG and it means so much to me.

also it means i get to savour those other 2 books longer and get more of my money's worth so it's a win-win

CURRENTLY WATCHING

Not anything really, but i did just recently finish rewatching Over The Garden Wall after probably 5 years.

CURRENTLY CONSUMING

medicine for my Illness, for I am a Sickly Young Man who is being very brave about it and definitely isnt very mad that it's been sick for a WHOLE BLOODY WEEK

also some baked sweet potato yummu yumby yump

CURRENTLY CRAVING

to not be sick so that i can draw again and finish my gay little OFMD fanart that i started

BBQ Pork Buns i love them i love them i love them

TAGGING: @where-am-i-nblwnblm @kerflouie @vendettart @my-good-friend-cosmo And anyone else who wants to do this!!!

Tag 9 people you want to know better

I was tagged by @life-jim-but-not-as-we-know-it :) thanks for the tag!

3 ships: Huh, well, I don’t tend to write a lot of ships myself but they’re certainly fun to read! I’d say Thrawn/Pellaeon (Star Wars) is a favorite, then maybe Sherlock/Watson (ACD Holmes specifically), and Thrawn/Car’das. Honorary mention goes to Thrawn/Nuso Esva!

1st ever ship: Well, it would have to be Steve/Tony (Marvel); that’s the fic I first started reading and that was my friend who recommended all that fic’s favorite, so that’s what I read! It was fun - back in the Avengers-Found-Family days, when I could still stand the movies.

Last song: had one of my somewhat random character playlists on while working this afternoon, so it’s Tell God and the Devil by Solas.

Last movie: Knives Out, which I finally got around to watching while home over Thanksgiving. It was a good one!

Currently reading: Just finished 1491 and 1493 by Charles Mann - nonfiction about Native Americans before and after Columbus. I’m hoping to pick up Star Wars: Rogue Planet - I finally found someone who’s read it and they enjoyed it, so I don’t have to worry it’s going to be unreadably terrible and I can finally get the lore I’m using for D&D from the source instead of Wookiepedia!

Currently watching: Whatever episode of Rebels I think will get me through my writer’s block on this one fic. Ezra’s serious voice is so hard to capture!

Currently consuming: a nice herbal tea

Currently craving: nothing at the moment, but I’ve been off and on craving pizza for a few weeks and haven’t gotten around to fulfilling it. Yet.

I love these, they’re super fun! I never know who to tag though… let’s go with: @ele-millennial-weirdo, @handbaskethell, @evarinaandlat, @jedihlaalu, @emp-roar, @nekobakaz, @jewelliffer, @loud-shimo-screes, @grand-admiral-lawn. Only if you want to! But if you want to, go for it, whether I’ve tagged you or not :)

[doctorwhoisadhd]

okay. i just saw someone being like "WHOA STEVEN MOFFAT SAID A NICE THING???" about that thing where he said that using someone’s preferred pronouns is just common decency, and y'all?? we need to stop this

steven moffat is not a villain, he's not a bad writer, he didn't ruin doctor who or whatever, he is a PERSON which means he has the ability to learn and change and grow. and YES, he made some Mistakes during the matt smith era of the show. but like?? we all contain multitudes, no media and no creator is going to be perfect

steven moffat made it canon that the doctor has ADHD (check the link in my bio or hit me up for sources!!!). he wrote BOTH of the twelfth doctor’s companions as explicitly queer women, in particular bill, who was a black lesbian and from her very first episode was shown to have romantic feelings for another woman!

he was also literally the person who put time lords regenerating from a male incarnation to a female one in the show for the first time ever. both missy and the general (who in hell bent also confirmed that usually her incarnations were female. iirc she was the first cross-racial regeneration shown on tv as well, though i could be wrong?)

so, really. anyone who thinks him Not being a transphobe is, like, out of the ordinary at all? yeah. you have not been paying attention

[ohmykazuha]

♡ i’m a dad, boogie woogie woogie

♡ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: itto, childe, zhongli, xiao, diluc, kaeya, albedo x gn!reader

♡ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff fluff fluff!

♡ 𝐚/𝐧: genshin men as dads! i loved writing this, it was so cute~| like/rb if you liked this please! consider giving me a follow if you liked it as well ^u^

ITTO is definitely the fun dad. the one that takes his kids on piggyback rides, running around the backyard until you call them inside because itto, they're going to catch a chill if they stay out any longer. itto is generally such a cute dad, to be honest! he definitely has multiple photo albums on his phone dedicated to his children and rest assured, he shows them to his gang members at every opportunity.

CHILDE is a dad that loves his family very, very much. he showers his children in gifts, but not to the point where they become spoiled. he loves to cuddle them on his lap and tuck them into bed, reading them storybooks as they gaze their little childlike-wonder filled eyes up at him. all his kids adore him and jump on him after he comes back from a "business trip"!

ZHONGLI takes it day by day. most of the time, his children end up running in circles around him and he definitely can't keep up but that's okay! he's that father who quietly cuddles his children to sleep, running his fingers through their hair as they softly breathe. he loves every one of his children equally and is quick to reassure them that they are loved and appreciated, etc.

XIAO is that father of a few words. he is there, but does not necessarily engage in conversation with his children – not because he doesn't want to, but because he doesn't know how. xiao tries his best though. over time, he warms up to his own flesh and blood – taking them everywhere, when he's free. he even makes time for them, and that's what makes your heart melt, honestly.

DILUC tries his best. having lost his father at a young age, i can imagine that parenting could be hard for him – not having anyone to ask questions to. however, he does try his best. i think diluc would be that father who shows up to pick his kids every day! that..... rich dad...... everyone stares at him whenever he's there because he's quite literally a walking bank. very cute to see him carry his children though.

KAEYA is that one dad who likes to lightly embarrass his kid. he brings baby pictures wherever he goes... despite his child being 10 or 11. he affectionately embarrasses them, if you get what i mean. XD. kaeya definitely is that one ‘risk-taker’ dad, constantly pushing his child higher on the swings until you shriek at them to calm down. XD

ALBEDO is a gentle father, constantly teaching his children about the world around them. he takes them sweet flowers and mint plants and lets them experiment, smelling the flowers and grinding them for ingredients. he brings them out on little excursions, showing them slimes and hilichurls from a safe distance. it’s very cute, really!

ahhhh i miss writing this kind of thing TuT this was so so cute. please leave a like and reblog and consider commenting and giving me a follow! ^u^

taglist: @bookuya, @mikachuchu, @starglitterz, @cherubbic, @noirkkat, @the-gayest-sky-kid, @ajaxeology, @icecappa, @almondoufu, @gnyuvile, @yeetmeoffjueyunkarst. @simplyxsinned, @heaven-dissolution, @xiaoyksa, @yua1106, @cruxdou, @mayple, @rim0na, @kamitoge, @abyssheart, @hushyouu, @thaliastea, @chichikoi, @cxlrose, @xiaos-tofuu, @yuezhong, @whsprd-lullaby, @myluvkeiji, @melkxsh, @datu-tadhana, @kxllmelia, @irethepotato, @alonelysimp, @keiq0, @ez-simping, @kazewhara, @albedoeuvre, @aweebstuff, @hqrbinger, @favonius-captain, @lotterymology, @cloudisyelling

[th9ma]

GENSHIN BOYS AS YOUR EX THAT STILL HAS FEELINGS

feat. zhongli, kaeya, diluc, childe, albedo, xiao

contains: gender neutral, modern au, fluff, (mildly) suggestive, small possessiveness, mentions of violence once, these are not to be taken seriously thank you <3 (rbs are appreciated)

note: resposting this bc tumblr fucked up my shit (if u saw this 40 mins ago no u didnt)

childe: the ‘gimme one more chance’ ex that fucking ruins your life — dating life, to be exact. he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he wants you back, it’s just painfully obvious. it’s difficult trying to date after — mostly because people refer to you and know you as ‘childe’s s/o’ despite being broken up. but he loves to make it known that you two used to date, he’s so proud about it too come get this man. always one of the first people to comment when you post on instagram and swipes up on your stories to complement you. it’s a little embarrassing sometimes but you can’t stay mad at him, it’s his way of looking out for you — you just wish he’d do it in a more subtle fashion. when you start talking to him again as friends, you tell him about dates and people you’re going out with. and what a coincidence that he also happens to show up? not in a creepy way though, he comes to check up on you with some friends! if it seems to be going well, he’ll swallow his pride and get the hell out. but when you get stood up at this restaurant he’s already swooping in to save the day, swiftly pressing a soft kiss to your temple and muttering a quick apology before taking a seat. he swears he can die the happiest man alive seeing the smile on your face — mission accomplished!

diluc: the 'awkward/formal' ex — it's not that he has a grudge against you, he just doesn't know how to act! you're on pretty good terms, saying hellos to one another and asking about your day. your breakup is pretty painful — you're on the market and talking to other people and he can't help thinking 'that used to be me'. but even despite all of this, he keeps his distance because 'he's a gentleman, and you're no longer together'. truthfully, he uses that as an excuse to stop himself from knocking out the person asking if you're free for a date sometime soon. the temptation is there, but it's not like he would actually do it. you have your boundaries, and diluc respects them more than anyone! that being said, he's so used to your relationship that he feels a bit lost without you, so he subtly checks up on you whenever he can. of course, he's so awkward to do this, so instead he sends the next best thing — kaeya! kaeya's quick with cozying up to you, asking how you are and what you've been up to, who you're talking to and the main topic — about diluc. it definitely comes as a shock to him to hear kaeya say that you missed him. what did you mean by that? yes, diluc can be formal, but when he wants something? he goes full speed ahead. it's like he's a new person, meeting you and saying that he can take you out to the amusement park you told kaeya about before actually realizing his words — and when he does, he starts cutely stammering out apologies. but it must be his lucky day, because you're already wrapping yourself around his arm with a dopey smile, saying a quick "mkay!".

kaeya: the emotionally confusing ex. he’ll randomly come back into your life with a short and simple ‘i miss you’ text that has you overthinking for the rest of the day. sure, you’ve seen him around in public or through mutual friends like civil people, but it’s been forever since you’ve talked one on one. if you’re able to push aside the butterflies pooling in your stomach and reply, he’ll take that as his chance to slide back in. teases and flirts with you the same way he used to when you first got together but then completely acts as if nothing happened when you react; it’s so confusing! does he want you or not? you can barely function when he asks you to hook up with him one more time — and with the way that he’s been buttering you up and reminding you of your shared moments, how can you refuse? of course, one hook up turns into another, and another, until you’re full on fuck buddies/a little more than friends with benefits — thats when everyone knows that you’re off the dating market. accidentally lets an “i love you’ slip out mid hook up between the two of you. but leave it to kaeya to take your breath away by laughing right after, saying “wasn’t it obvious?”.

zhongli: the ex that you’re always running into. it’s not like he plans your ‘random’ meetups (although it would make sense if you thought so), he just doesn’t know what else to do. when you used to date, your days spent together were so predictable that they basically became a routine. and now, that routine is a habit! sometimes when you do muster up the courage to talk to him, he finds himself thinking about he shared memories you had at said locations. truth be told, it only makes him fall more in love. okay, at first, your run ins were purely coincidental. but after seeing your eyes light up after noticing a familiar face? his appearances are more frequent. he almost subconsciously finds himself wandering into your favourite hole in the wall bookshop — stopping at the aisle full of your favourite genre of books, skimming through spines to see which ones you’d like the most. and if you’re not a fan of bookstores? clothes, records & games are on the list too! he buys you all of it, because he thinks it’s what you’d like (it usually is). and when you storm into the local cafe for your favourite drink after having a shit day, there he is waiting with multiple bags in hand. you’re not sure if his broken sense of money management is a blessing or curse, because he’s brought you mountains of gifts, but the tab for the suggested date is for sure on you.

xiao: the ex that acts like you don’t exist. you see him in public and make eye contact? walks past you like nothing had ever happened. he’s so unbothered that it’s scary — even when you two broke up, he was up and out as if it wasn’t even his business. he doesn’t go out of his way to block you, so it’s natural to assume that he just doesn’t care; it’s not like you’re his concern anyway. always asks “who?” when your name is brought up, ouch! but little do you know that you’re literally running laps in his mind all day everyday; this is just his response because he’s never dealt with this. ever. to say the least, it’s a big shock when he pulls up to your door nearly drenched from the rain outside with one of your missing pieces of clothing in hand because he ‘randomly found it lying around his place’ — not true! he’s spent all this time debating what to do with it because he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away! he expects that you’d take it from his hands and leave him outside — silly xiao! you’re definitely not going to leave him to catch a horrid cold. instead you open the door further and invite him in, telling him to take a shower while you make some tofu for him. he definitely doesn’t miss how you ask if he still knows his way around — like he’d ever forget.

albedo: the half-ex. you see, you’re broken up — but his family adores you. especially little klee, she’s always looked up to you. and it came as a shock that she was more hurt about your breakup than albedo despite being told that you were still on civil/good terms. truthfully? he misses you; misses the smile on his face whenever you’d agree to be the subject for his paintings that now hung proudly in the halls that you once danced along — it was heaven. of course, he’d never admit this to you, but he would to his little sister. it’s not like she’d understand anyway. he falters when you show up at his doorstep wearing that sweet smile; too bad it’s for the little munchkin running past him and into your open arms. she asks you to play and hang out with her, but really she can’t stand seeing her brother in peril, so she takes it upon herself to fix it. albedo can’t take his eyes off you awhile you play dolls with klee. he swears she’s smarter than she seems when she takes her two dolls in wedding apparel and says it’s you and ‘bedo because “(name) and albedo should be married but they’re both acting like dummies!” and with that, she runs out of the room and leaves you two to talk. god bless klee.

[rinstars]

「 CRY FOR ME 」 ♡ ACT II : PLAYING WITH FIRE.

PAIRING : Suna Rintarō x Reader. Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader.

GENRE : Angst.

TAGS/WARNINGS : NSFW. Fake Dating. Unrequited Love. Profanity. Enemies (not really) to Lovers. Not very canon compliant.

SYNOPSIS : You have been in love with your best friend Sakusa Kiyoomi for as long as you can remember. The problem? He is in love with somebody else. And for you to snag even the tiniest bit of his affections, it seems like you would willingly go through drastic measures.. Even if it means teaming up with his lifelong rival, Suna Rintarō

NOTE : I obviously didn't proofread theres 5.9k words in this one heh so yeah I hope u guys enjoy <3 I tried my hardest to have it out today. Tell me what u think!! I love hearing what u guys think and reading ur reactions/tags. Likes & RBs appreciated!

TAGLIST : OPEN

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Determined.

If there was only one word to describe you, it would be determined. The embarrassment that flowed through your whole body as soon as you realized just how wrong your previous statement sounded isn't nearly enough to keep you from maintaining a straight face. You said it with such clarity—not an ounce of uncertainty in your voice while you looked at the man in front of you straight in the eyes.

Your lips are curled in a smirk, fingers drumming on the table with your chin resting on your palms. Suddenly, it felt like there was no one else in the room. The voices fading in the background as you wait in anticipation for what Suna has to say. It's like a tunnel vision when you look at him—the rest of the scene a blur that didn't matter.

He stares at you like you’ve grown two heads—like he’s waiting for you to say that you were only kidding and there’s no way in hell you are actually suggesting the both of you fake dates. When it dawns to him that you are, in fact, completely serious about this whole ordeal, his eyes narrow at you.

"I must have expected a bit too much from you," he glares, blinking lazily while he turns his drink around the cup. "The rumors about you always seemed to be nothing but respectable."

"I would hope so," you lean closer to him with a small smile.

He ignores your advances and statement, crossing his arms on top of the table before continuing, "But hearing you propose a little scheme like that," a pause that comes in the form of an unamused chuckle, "What a way to prove me wrong."

You scoff at him, leaning back on the chair and away from him to find comfort while you take in what he just said. You know it's a ridiculous suggestion but both of you were single—nothing to do, no one to touch. If one were to genuinely look at the situation, it doesn't really seem that bad—especially if you both end up benefiting from it. Or maybe that's just what you tell yourself.

Either way, the uninterested look he’s giving you makes you want nothing more than to punch his pretty face. He darts a tongue out to wet his lips—an attractive action, you note. He's such a good-looking man. Definitely up there with the most attractive faces you've ever seen in your life and the more you look at him, the more you see features you didn't notice the first time. It's a pity, though, that he acts like this. Then again, it's not like you’re any better.

“It’s a win-win situation, Suna. You like her and I like the guy she’s dating," you trail off, carefully watching the changes in his expression—if there would even be one to begin one.

"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow, taunting you with a laugh.  "What's in it for me then, YN? Pray tell."

"Oh, come on," you roll your eyes at him, legs crossing beneath the table. Why is he asking you the obvious? "Seeing you with a different woman might just wake something within her and she suddenly sees you in a different light!”

“I don’t recall confirming your hypothesis about me liking her.”

“Please,” you snort with a laugh, head throwing back and accidentally catching a glimpse of the bright ceilings that made you snap your head right back. "You stare at her like she holds all the light in the world.”

He sighs at that—the first reaction you've seen in the entire conversation so far. His eyes are clouded, hesitation clear in his voice when he speaks again, "I have a career and a name to protect.”

“A little dating scandal is not gonna get you kicked out of the team," you laugh at what he's suggesting—your own throat turning dry and craving for a drink as the seconds keep passing by without him giving you a response. You're running out of things to say. "Aren't you practically the best they have around?"

He stays silent for a good few minutes more—ignoring you and staring blankly into nothing as you basically watch the cogs turn in his head. You don’t know why he’s so against the idea. It’s not like you’re expecting to take it as far as getting married. In fact, you don’t even have to kiss; just put on a cute little show when they’re both around and that would be it.

The silence is starting to make you feel uneasy, fingers fidgeting on the wooden top of the table while you wait for the response that never seems to come. Just as you were about to brush off the idea and tell him to just forget it, grabbing your phone and uncrossing your legs, Suna beats you to it—your mouth automatically closing to listen in on whatever he has to say that took five minutes to construct.

"One of the former coaches of Inarizaki is throwing a party inviting every single team in the 1st Division, along with a few people from the teams we used to play against," he swallows thickly, not even blinking once while he holds eye contact with you. "You could guess I'm expected—being an Inarizaki graduate."

Perplexed at the information he's throwing at you, you cross your arms in question. Lips pursed at how he's holding you back and speaking in code. Is he trying to make small talk?

"That's great. Now, what is the point of me knowing this?" You push the topic—aware that there must be something he's waiting to tell you if he's making you listen. Suna Rintarō is not one for trivial conversations, you know that much about him.

He casts a side-glance, eyeing the unfamiliar surroundings before meeting your eyes in an intense stare, "Stop looking for new boys to fuck every night," he stops momentarily, hesitation in his golden-green eyes. "Instead, be my date where everyone will see—Sakusa included. Stay by my side, in my arms, with everyone's eyes on you. Stop increasing your body count on men he can't even see."

Your eyes light up at his words, ignoring the small jabs at your pride with a smile finding its way to your crimson painted lips—almost like a child offered with candies, you beam, "Does that mean—"

"If you're going to drag me into this.." he trails off, cringing inwardly at the idea but going through with it nonetheless, "..ridiculous situation, then we are going to do it my way."

Listening to him lay out the plans for both of you to follow, you are left to wonder if Suna Rintarō has always been this way—composed and reasonable. Being a friend of the twins, there seems to be an automatic idea on your head on what kind of person he is. Surely, he was never stupid. It's not like he failed his classes back then. As a matter of fact, he actually had decent grades. But hearing him speak like this, as he reads through both yours and his situation, maybe the image of Suna you've always had on the back of your head is not as true as you believe.

Time seems to have done him well.

Wise and even more handsome than you ever remembered him to be.

"So, what you're saying is," you drag out your words, smile teasing and wide as you wait for his confirmation.

He narrows his eyes at you, shrugging as a sigh leaves his parted lips, “Stop getting the wrong ideas. It’s only because you fucking keep bothering me."

“Drop the act, pretty boy,” you slightly kick him from below the table, your own eyes narrowing at his futile attempts of denying the obvious while a smirk ghosts your lips. With amusement, you make a promise—something that you believed would rid his handsome face of the expression painting it, "I'll be a good girlfriend so don't worry. You'll get your end of the deal."

He looks mildly bothered by your statement, the contemplation on whether this really was a good idea or not finally catching up to him, but he quickly hid it with a small nod, setting the plastic cup of his iced coffee down as he further briefs you on the details of what you're both getting into, "Party's on Saturday, 8 in the evening."

"That early?"

"What do you mean that early? It's not that kind of party, YN."

"By that, you mean—"

"Possible sponsors and investors for the National team would be attending. Of course, it's not gonna be some stupid frat party," he explains to you like it's supposed to be the most obvious thing in the world. You should've known it's something a lot more formal than the ones you're used to. After all, what would he need a date for in parties where everyone is nothing but high and wasted?

"Ah," you hum in realization, a thought suddenly passing through your hazy mind, one that almost makes you grimace as some type of discomfort spreads through your chest. "That means Omi will be with a date too, then."

"Yeah. With her," he looks away from you at that, eyes trained on the glass walls of the café like it's suddenly the most interesting thing in the world—blank and without an emotion you could recognize. "Killing two birds with one stone for us."

Perhaps you underestimated the feelings Suna harbors for this woman, because even as he tries not to show an expression on his face, you can tell. Maybe it's because you're in the exact same position as him and he mirrors the things you also feel. To anybody else, he is nothing more than uninterested about the whole situation but with you, you know it's anything but that. Even the way he swallowed tells you all you needed to know. Then again, Suna Rintarō is good at this game. He's been playing this look far longer than you have and that's why it looks and comes off so natural to him—not to mention that he's originally a person who never wears his heart on his sleeve.

"Dress up to the nines. Color doesn’t matter," he breaks your trance and returns his gaze, the traces of whatever it was plaguing him earlier long gone—like it didn't even exist. "I'll pick you up."

That was the last thing he said before standing up, pushing his chair backward and grabbing his phone on the table. He doesn't even turn back again to bid you goodbye—feet carrying him to the doors without another word. You expected that. This is nothing but business between you and him, after all. Coincidence leading to both of you scheming against a happy couple.

You're a terrible best friend.

On the way home, a familiar face greets you as he jogs around the park with a mask up his face. Kiyoomi is dressed in his training attire, arms bare on the sleeveless shirt he’s wearing and beads of sweat trailing down his temples. When he catches your eye, a light smile and recognition makes its way to his half-hidden face—quickly jogging closer to yo

“Omi," you greet him with a little smile, halting your walk as you wait for him to approach you. Seeing him like this, everything almost feels in place. The scene reminding you of the number of times you've had to watch him run around lap after lap, reaching his water bottle out and towel out to him every single time he takes a break.

"You always happen to be around when I need help the most," he comments, breathing ragged and shallow.

Raising an eyebrow, you reach to wipe his sweat with the grey towel on his shoulder—patting the damp skin dry, "Hmm? What can I do for you this time Mr. Sakusa?" You smile up at him after wiping his jaw, eyes connecting with his onyx ones.

He sighs in gratitude at you, fingers peeling the mask from his face and giving you a sight of the slight upturn of the corner of his lips, "Have somewhere to be on Saturday," he begins.

"Do you now?"

"Yeah and I can't choose a suit," he furrows his brows at you, making you laugh at his troubles of finding which one he looks better in. What he doesn't realize is that he looks good whatever he chooses. You think maybe it's more the tradition of helping him out rather than him actually needing your help. You used to get ready for everything together.

Nodding more to yourself than him, it seems that Suna was right. Kiyoomi will be there. Internally, you pat yourself in the back for deciding to entrust the plan to Suna—seeing as he was able to take advantage of such a great opportunity.

“Is tomorrow a good time to come over?” You ask him, arms falling back to your sides as you let him handle the rest of the wiping—eyes drawn to the way the shirt clings to his body from the sweat, outlines of his hard stomach visible.

“No no, I’ll come over,” he shakes his head. “It’s been a long time since I've been to yours.” A thought passes over him and he continues with a smirk—teasing and mischievous. "Tidy up a little, would you? Don't wanna see your panties all over the floor again."

You feign shock, lightly hitting his chest while he simply chuckles at you, "Now why would I do that?"

"To seduce me."

It was a joke. And it was supposed to be harmless. Yet you couldn't help the warmth that suddenly rose to your cheeks. He must've thought it was only due to embarrassment and not the fact that he's hitting the nail in the head—not the part about your underwear, but the fact that you are trying to seduce him.

You can almost picture Suna looking at you with the same look he always gives you—filled with so much pity. It's funny coming from him, considering the fact that he's pining for a woman who's in a relationship with the one you are going for. Still, you hear his voice on the back of your head, telling you Kiyoomi will never love you back and that you are wasting your time. Ignoring the thoughts, you laugh at Kiyoomi—your own tongue betraying you as you fail to come up with a response.

"I'll see you soon then," you pat his jaw with a small laugh, brushing the wet strands of hair over his cheeks before ushering him to keep running—bidding a quick goodbye as you walk home from the park.

Suna is annoying. More because he sees through you better than you see through him rather than the fact that your relationship with each other has never been particularly good—especially as Sakusa's best friend. It was second nature to avoid and ignore him.

This time, however, you find it hard to do so.

Knowing that he's right in everything he has ever told you.

You slid the silver Rolex on his left wrist, fastening the clasp and unconsciously making your fingers linger for a little while—his skin warm in contrast to your cold ones. It's the nerves for what's about to go down tonight, you guess. Suna comes in a few hours, your anxiety spiking higher than it has ever been even while in the presence of your best friend.

Helping Kiyoomi get ready has always been an opportunity for you—the combined efforts of leaning down just a little bit further than usual to give him a good view of your chest and looking up with as much seduction as you can in your eyes all unnoticed even way before he got in a relationship. You don't even bother anymore, certain that Kiyoomi is way too preoccupied with thoughts of how his girlfriend will look tonight rather than the failed attempts of his best friend at seduction.

Surely, if it was anyone other than Sakusa Kiyoomi, you would’ve been in bed by now—shirt discarded on the floor and hickeys all over your bare skin. Too bad he has never seen you more than his best friend. The light you desperately wish he would start seeing you in nothing more than a fleeting dream. Is it because there was never anyone who dared threaten his place in your life like his girlfriend is doing now?

Teaming up with Suna is wishful thinking. A plan with no assurance of a great result. Nevertheless, you try. What other choice do you have? If you were about to lose him anyway, you wanted to at least try.

"Omi?" you whisper, watching him from the bed as he fixes the cuffs of his suit.

"Hmm?" he turns to look at you, walking over to where you are with a mildly humored expression. Once close enough, he lifts his arms towards you—an invitation for a hug which you rushed to accept.

"I miss you," you breathe on his shoulder, eyes automatically closing as you savor the feeling of his arms around you.

His lips touch the crown of your head, inhaling your scent in before pressing a small kiss, "Me too, YN. I miss you too.”

You don’t do any more than that, pulling away and giving him a small smile which he naturally returned. It was just a hug and a kiss to your hair, but it was enough. Anyway, you're not about to try something with a taken man. After weeks of only having small talks, being with him like this feels like a new step forward—like you are slowly going back to how it was before his girlfriend came along. At times like this, you can't help but curse yourself for wanting more and not being contented with your place in his life.

Pathetic.

He smoothes out his navy blue suit, adjusting his tie to the center before turning to you with a quirked brow, “Guess I’ll be stealing the show tonight again.”

He’s beautiful—no, he’s perfect. The styling wax you combed through one side of his hair earlier keeps his hair away from his face perfectly. The new and crisp suit hugs his athletic build perfectly and his sharp facial features going along with the look of elegance he's sporting right now. His expensive perfume fills your senses. The air in your room flowing with the scent you know you won't be able to get rid of for at least a few days.

"It's kinda weird how I'm the only one dressed up," he sighs, leaning back on the bed with his elbows. "We used to get ready for everything together."

A pang of hurt catches up to you before you could even process what he was saying. But that's just the reality, isn’t it? You’re no longer his date.

Walking over to your bed, you sit down beside him with crossed legs, propping your elbows on top of it as you look at him sideways with a sly smile, “Is that so? Don’t worry," he looks at you, confused. "You might be surprised to still see me there, after all.”

The slight widening of his eyes made you giggle, watching as he pushes himself up from the mattress so he can look at you properly, “What? Do you have a secret date I don’t know about?” He stares at you for a good while before his face flashes with suspicion. “Are you going out with Miya?"

“I didn't tell you because it was supposed to be a surprise," you snicker at him, standing up to offer your head as you catch a look at the time on your bedside table. “And no, it’s not 'Tsumu. He's just a friend, Omi."

“You must have a secret boyfriend I don’t know about, then," He lets out a breath, taking your hand so he's standing and towering over you.

Bending your head down, you try to hide the smirk that paints your lips—an action Sakusa failed to catch, “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

A message pops from your phone a few minutes after Kiyoomi departs from your house. Thankfully, he got ready way earlier than he should so you can still have time for yourself. The device on your table blinks at the notifications coming from Suna.

8 pm sharp

don't make me wait.

Glancing at the clock, you still have around an hour left as it reads 7:05. Hurrying to your closet, you pick the dress you bought from the mall a few days ago and laid it down on your mattress—silky, blood-red cocktail dress with golden heels to match. It's what people would call a rather eye-catching and scandalous dress. In movies, it's the color of revenge. To others, it's a cheesy way of trying to get attention. Well, they can call it whatever they want—it won't matter when all of their eyes are on you.

The time seems to go by in a breeze. By the time you finished styling your hair and putting on makeup equally as bold as your dress, the clock blinks to eight. Suddenly you feel cold, palms clammy as you run simulations of whatever could go down later in your head.

As if on cue to disrupt your raging thoughts, the doorbell rings–echoing through the house and amplifying your nerves. Descending down the stairs with your clutch and phone in hand, you make a small mental preparation before reaching for the door and unlocking it. Only when you see the vision on the other side did you realize that nothing could have ever prepared you for the sight you are about to see.

The words drowned in your throat as you took him in—not a strand of his dark hair out of place, not a wrinkle in his pitch-black suit, not a look of uncertainty in his golden-green eyes while a cool scent of cologne whiffs through your nose.

Suddenly, you felt like retracting your previous statement on Kiyoomi being the star of the night, especially when Suna Rintarō stands before you—whole being exuding confidence with the way he carries himself.

You don't even realize the number of seconds that passed. The first words coming out of your mouth as soon as you get back to reality being a low whisper of holy shit.

Naturally, he ignores you. Paying no mind and giving no response. If you didn't know any better, you would think he's completely uninterested in your presence before him. But as he takes you in, eyes shamelessly looking at you from head to toe while lingering a bit longer on the low cut of your neckline—you know he's not as Invincible as he tries to make it seem.

"Red," He nods to himself in approval, tongue darting out to wet his lips before finally meeting your eye. “Very sexy. I like it," he smirks at you with an amused glint in his eyes

The praise makes your stomach flutter. The comment holding a much higher degree of importance to you as he's not someone who easily hands praises out or says it without much thought. He may be a fake boyfriend tonight but it sure does wonders being praised by someone like him.

“You’re not so bad yourself," you teased in return—vague and nothing much even if he deserves much higher praise than that with how.. godly he looks paired with a cocky look on his face. You made a mental note that this night you won't be so easy. Not when he's already agreed to your plans.

“Well, should we go?” he offers you his arm, natural and easy like he's so used to being around girls and knowing how to handle them. Without hesitation, you took it and linked your arms with his, letting him lead the way to his car which was parked on the driveway.

His car is exactly how you expected it to be—sleek, shiny, and black with heavily tinted windows. You were waiting for him to open the door on your side but when you looked up, he’s already getting around his side of the car. Huffing to yourself, you went ahead and did it on your own, sinking down in the cool leather of the seats.

Sure he's not actually your boyfriend and you doubt he bothers opening the door for every woman he's ever been with but it wouldn’t hurt for him to at least act like he’s playing the part now, would it? However, it's the least of your problems right now—heart hammering on your chest as he brings the car to life and starts driving on the way to the venue.

The ride to the venue was filled with comfortable silence, a soft tune humming in the background and blending in with your breathing. It would have stayed that way until you reached your destination. That is, if only you weren’t so curious with finding out more about what really ties him to Kiyoomi's girlfriend.

“So, Omi's girl, huh?” you begin, leaning over the center console to watch him. "His girl out of all people? You should have known better than that.”

His expression doesn't give anything away. One hand on the wheel while the other rests on his gear as he gives you a glance from the side of his eyes. Truthfully, you stopped waiting for the response the moment you land your eyes on him—thinking he wouldn't bother giving in to your persistent prying.

“It’s not as shallow as you think it is,' He sighs, his voice suddenly making you jump as you watch him grip the steering wheel a bit tighter.

“I figured," you look at the tinted windows, streetlights painted into a shade much darker than how it really was. “Then let me rephrase, what sort of history do you have with her?”

“I don’t even think history is a way to call it," he lightly shakes his head. "We were.. acquaintances—for the lack of better term—but it was something that was cut short.”

“Because of Kiyoomi," you realize with the slight widening of your eyes, tapping your chin with a knowing nod. Turns out, this is a lot more serious than you previously believed it to be. "Interesting. She left you for him and that's why your rift with Kiyoomi is now running much deeper than just your plain old court rivalry."

He doesn’t respond to this. Not a flinch nor a look or affirmation either. Something tells you he's accepted his circumstances long ago. Truthfully, he probably even gave up on trying to steal her back until you showed up to propose a stupid plan.

“Did she know?” you press on the topic, taking advantage of the way he’s actually trying to communicate with you—probably for the sake of your scheming.

“What?”

“That you liked her?”

He met your eyes for a second, not once faltering or cowering from your watching gaze that has been staring at him since the beginning., “No. Not when it's always been him.”

He is firm. He’s just as he usually is—stoic and hard to read. If you didn't try to understand him a bit better, you would miss the sadness painted behind his gaze. Not to mention the fact that if he’s agreeing along with your plan, he definitely isn't as over about it as he tries to make it seem.

You don’t speak for the remainder of the car ride, not wanting to push his buttons even more than you already did. God knows he’ll probably leave you on the side of the road if you start pissing him off.

You arrive at the venue a few minutes later, several cars already parked in the allotted space. The former coach just came back from France where he supposedly runs a successful business. Hence, the fancy venue chosen for the party.

Suna glances at you, smirk on his face as he turns the key to shut the engine off, “Showtime.”

Rolling your eyes, you try to hide the fact that you are not as elated about this as he is. After all, unlike him, the person of interest is your best friend—someone you regularly talk to and get along with.

“So if absolutely anybody asks I just say I'm the girlfriend?” you ask nervously.

“Isn’t that what you wanted to do?”

“Well, yes, but—" you breathe out, leaning back on the headrest. “I wonder if this will make Kiyoomi hate me.”

“Your years of friendship ruined by a single man. How shallow must your whole relationship be," He scoffs at your worries, mirroring your position and leaning back on his own seat.

“Perhaps," you not at him tightly before continuing, bitter tone laced in your words. “But it wouldn’t be worth it in this case. It’s not like we’re actually in a relationship. You don't love me as much as I don't love you. Besides, are we forgetting the fact that you literally hate each other's guts?"

He stares at you, unmoving before nodding with a hard gaze. “Perhaps. But I have no control over what happens to your friendship with him after this. I will not be responsible for the consequences of your plans."

Left with no more arguments to make, you simply frown at the implications of his statements—possibilities running through your head without stop as you anticipate Kiyoomi's reaction.

Suna pisses you off. He’s smart with his words and he knows exactly how to press your buttons. Maybe this is the price you have to pay for dragging him into this—the fact that you're forced to realize the flaws and shortcomings of your relationship with Kiyoomi.

“You piss the hell out of me," you run a hand through your hair, exasperated sigh going through your parted red lips. “If we were in an actual relationship we would probably be having the sexiest angry make-out session on the backseat right now.”

He startles you when he laughs at that—the first genuine amused sound you've ever heard from him since the first time you met in the park two weeks ago.

What you didn’t expect even more though is what happened next.

He leans over the center console, placing his left hand flat on top of the leather seat by your right side while his right-hand ghosts over your exposed collarbone. Placing his face closer and closer to your neck, you start getting goosebumps at the feeling of his warm breath fanning your cold skin. His nose ghosts over your jaw, a sharp inhale sounding across the space as he takes in your scent.

“Do you think I’m that easy?” He asks you teasingly, smirk evident on the tone despite the fact that you couldn't see him from his position on your side. Your stomach churns with desire—sucking in a sharp breath as he inches even closer. “That I wouldn’t make you work for it?”

His lips finally connect to the spot connecting your shoulders and neck. Lips dropping in a wet kiss—tongue running over it for a second before grazing the skin with his teeth ever so lightly. “Beg for it?”

A whimper makes its way past your lips—making you press your thighs together in need. Reaching for the back of his neck, you try pulling him even closer to you—angling your neck better so he would have more access.

Catching your wrist with his fingers, he pulls your hold away from him. Body leaning back slightly away from you so he could look at you straight in the eyes instead.

Gaze dropping to your lips, a smirk stretches over his face—teeth lightly nibbling the insides of his bottom lip before leaning in, "I could kiss you so easily."

“Then why don’t you?” You pant against him. Just a little movement from either of you and your lips would have been touching. You probably look and sound desperate right now, but you didn't really care. The only thing in your mind being the pull that attracts you to him—craving his touch and taste as he pushes you over the edge like this.

He looks at you with amusement dancing in his eyes, fingers reaching to your face and to your hair, tucking it behind your ears with a small chuckle. “Because I don’t want to mess up your lipstick.”

Just like that, he completely pulls away from you—the breath you didn't realize you had been holding forcing its way out of your lungs as you pant, head hung low with a hand pressed to your forehead. Not even at the party yet and you could already feel a headache building.

The next thing you know, Suna's opening the car door to your side—palms opened and offered to you. You take it with a sigh, eyelids shutting as you try and steady yourself on his fingers once you're out of the car.

“This always looks so romantic in movies," you comment without much thought.

“It kind of is, don’t you think?”

His hand leads you to the glass doors, tightening his hold on yours a bit tighter–as if he can sense your pulse beating beneath his fingers. You’re nervous as hell, to say the least, but you’re not about to quit right now—not when you’ve already entered the doors with the sound of chatter greeting you from every direction.

The place was beautiful. Golden chandeliers with accents of white and silver, shiny marble floors which reflected the glimmer on everyone’s dazzling gowns, and a huge assortment of long tables where different kinds of cuisine were placed.

The moment you enter, you recognize familiar faces immediately. Some friends, some acquaintances—they notice you too. Eyes drawn to your hand which intertwines with someone else like a couple.

You guess that’s where the initial shock came from. The fact that you’re attending a party you’re not personally invited in with a guy who they could only assume is someone they know—considering that this is a party where only the invited players can come. But when they realize whose hand you were holding, the shock becomes even more evident— a certain blonde man jogging over just to stop right in front of you.

“Suna?!” he exclaims with a loud voice—attracting a few more number of people to look in your direction, making you uncomfortable. Cowering away from the amount of eyes on you, you end up unknowingly took a step closer to Suna—his hands leaving your hand to wrap around your waist instead, pulling you closer to his side.

You looked up to see him just smirking at Atsumu, eyes bright at the stunned expression of his friend, "Yeah? What are you so shocked for, dumbass?”

Suna Rintarō plays his own games and he plays them well. The expression painted on his face right now along with the stunt he pulled on you in the car earlier made it all pretty clear for you. Like you, he too can play the games you do. He can tease you, seduce you, and attract you—be it when you're alone together or in front of other people.

You can only pray you don’t end up being on the losing side—even as you feel like playing with fire every time you're with him.

🏷 : @nozomiasl @lilith412426 @coconois @effmigentlywithachainsaw @savantsoulfinder @my-reality-is-in-my-head @shawkneecaps @satorinnie @fail-big @slxttygoddess @cuddlesslut @stffychn @sugusshi @rintarovibes @jiminslajibolala @rinsangel @atzuums @sunarinsbubs @iwaprotector @exologys @g0thbunnyy @oikawa-bubs @starylust @call-me-lulu @ouraniaastraea @milkteeboba @criesinpisces @tendo-sxtori @plusultra2dwhore @p1nk-p0ison @witcherydotcom @yoitsseulgi @fulltimesunafanpage @trshex @heizenka @maitenight @victoriasee @whoisalexa @asaitashi @evilox @mysticstrawberryballoon @suyasgf @pleasespikeaballatmyface @kyoomisprincess @babyworld @4k0taro @starfireaurora @suzuyamitsuki @novelnekomata @luna-vitae-suae @hortensiyas @omi-kunslysol (if ur url is crossed out, please change ur settings bc i cant tag u <3)

[dearviper]

OH MY GOD, HELLO, I was gonna go to sleep early but I read the first chapter of Certain Dark Things and by the time I had finished it I couldn't stop, so I read all of it and I am so sorry for rambling but looking at the date of publication for chapter 21 has left me OVERJOYED, I am SO HAPPY that you are still writing for eddie (cos most of tumblr seems to be fawning over eddie munson now lmao), THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR WRITING SO WELL AND SO BEAUTIFULLY AND I HOPE YOU NEVER STOP WRITING. I love the way you have recurring mentions to the reader being treated like a dog (like of course being called a bitch and a stupid dog, but the collar??? degradingly being told to BARK???? you are making me LOSE MY MIND this work of art is like music 2 me because it is making me LoSE CONTROL), and the way you have intertwined the canon plot with your story is brilliant and extraordinarily well done and I cannot believe I get to keep up with your writing in real time, i adore your work and i LOVE the bible references and i am dying to see what you're planning next. are you okay with spam liking/rbing? i would love to rb every chapter but wanna check with you first. thank you you are so cool and one of my favorite writers now, i am so sorry and sad i didn't find you sooner. im really sorry if this is illegible (im a bit sleep deprived (but couldn't be happier!!! u are ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT) and a lil lightheaded) but I hope you know that i appreciate you and the talent and work you put into your writing, i love your formatting and pacing and the stylistic choices you make (THE IPECAC REVEAL?????? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) and i love the way you write every character from eddie to the reader to the side characters like tyler (im so sorry if i got that name wrong i couldnt help inhaling your fic it is just TOO good) and marisol and i think the texting gifs are SO COOL and i am amazed at your skill not only with writing but with editing stuff like that and i love how you surprise me with new dark stuff in almost every chapter (because before this i thought i knew every dark!fic /yandere/whatever plot, tropes, and characterization there was, but you have surprised me over and over again, it is so delightful and fantastic and you write so well and i know it's a little strange to be so happy about a fic with dark content bur your writing is just so good that i cant help it. i love how realistically you write and omg just ... . Everything. thank you. <3 i hope this wasnt too weird or overstepping or too out of the blue, i just felt overwhelmed with the happiness ur writing gave me and wanted to thank you. Thank You!!!! <333 i hope you have a wonderful year and i (selfishly) hope you never stop writing!!!!

Baby you better marry me rn I swear to god 😩 I genuinely teared up while reading this. I can't even put into words how sweet and flattering this message is.

Eddie Munson is also my baby, but Eddie Nashton is my lil meow meow 🥺

I'm so glad you appreciated all of the dog references! I wanted to make it very clear that he views women (even the one he "loves") as subhuman. I'm also happy you appreciated the bible references because as someone who was raised Catholic I LIVE for that shit!!

I am absolutely more than okay with spam likes/reblogs! Especially the latter since that gives me more exposure to other readers.

It makes me SO happy that you loved the ipecac reveal. That was one of those parts where I was typing and was like "oh this would have GAGGED me if I was reading this fic" (not to toot my own horn).

Thank you for mentioning the texting gifs because those things took like 1-2 hours to make. Definitely a labor of love, but labor still!

This is not weird/overstepping/too out of the blew, this is genuinely the best ask I've ever received and I will always remember it. Thank you so so SO much for your kind words, and I really hope you still around for my other fics! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[bucksbisexual]

well, well, well. it’s the end of 2020.

kinda weird, isn’t it? the year has flown by and it’s already the end of the last month. it’s been..... strange to say the least, but this year i’ve found a place, and most specifically, people who have made this year a little bit better and brighter with either their presence or their content, and for that, i want to send some love to all of you who have made an impact on me this year with our interactions or your content on my dashboard 💖💖

i feel like i should start with everyone who has added me in their follow forevers (i still can’t believe i was even part of a single one??? i- 🥺) so let me do just that hehe

@yihwas​ soph!! we haven’t interacted much but every time we did u have been nothing but the sweetest and kindest person ever and that made such a great impact on me, thank u for being so amazing 🥰💛

@planthusbands​ cass!!! even though our age gap is 10 whole years you have been nothing but welcoming and lovely to me and u truly feel like an older sister to me 🥺💚 the cover u did for our secret santa hugs me tightly whenever i feel down 💖

@petekaos​ rahul!!!! (or should i say rhaul kjsjfhsfj my fingers h*te u for no reason i swear) u are such a lovely person and i’m so glad to be able to have gotten to know u better this year. you’re so amazing and u already know from before we even interacted that i Love ur fics so please never let anything stop u from writing!! 💙

@wjmild​ kylie!!! we have been talking more lately because of both of us (well, now only me) watching guardian and it’s so much fun!! i love hearing ur thoughts and opinions on things even if they differ from mine because i find u really interesting!!! also u’ve probably heard this from everyone from the gc but i love ur voice jhfkjsf love u lotsss 🧡

@toptaps​ zey!! we haven’t interacted much and have barely spoken on dms but u’re so lovely and kind 💛 ur love for things makes me want to love them as well (see: guardian) and i would love to get to know u better this year that’s just around the corner 🥰

okay and now.. to everyone else!!

@brightwin​ jelly!!! i miss u tons :-( but thank u for being so lovely whenever we interacted, you’re so nice to everyone and so so so talented when it comes to giffing, you’re pretty much the person who made me want to start giffing so thank u for creating such masterpieces 💛

@gunatps​ vee!!! are u feeling better love? i hope you’re recovering well <3 i loved getting to know u this year and loved all the weird conversations in the gc when it was alexa, u and me or sometimes just u and me, i miss bicis but hopefully bicis can come back as soon as u recover. ur korn apologist agenda was strong but u ended up being right... truly The Monarch skjfhsj love u lots 🧡 (i will join ur next chanonpom breakdown on vc okay? just tell me when and i’ll be there <3)

@kimmonv​ violet!!! we haven’t talked much but u seem like such an interesting and funny person, i would love to talk more with u this next year 🥰 i loved being ur secret santa (even if i sucked at it) and i felt rlly happy when u said u liked it!! i hope 2021 treats u well 💚

@lee-thanat​ ke!!! i loved getting to know u a little this year and i definitely loved trying to read ur nonsensical messages that were supposed to mean something KHSFJSHF i also loved playing with u on among us that one time even if i killed u once (sorry about that btw... ily), i hope everything’s going well and that we can talk more next year 💜

@soulmatelines​ jo!!! my twin sjkfjksfh i loooved getting to know u this year!! you’re so funny and so smart even if ur artistic skills are... Not The Best skfjhjfhks (neither are mine so it’s okay, no need to feel bad) i loved being on vc with u and just talking with u on discord whenever u were online, i hope we can continue doing that next year!!! love u lots 💛

@pvrrish​ eleni!! we’ve talked so little this year that i can barely remember if there was any conversation at all :-(( but i would love to get to know u better this next year!! u seem like such an interesting person and u and angel are friends so i’m sure u’re amazing!! hope 2021 treats u well 💚

@class2clown​ angel!!! it’s been such a pleasure to get to know u this year and i can’t believe that it’s already been months since we first spoke :’)) all of ur creations are soooo good and i love all of them!!! i hope nothing ever stops u from creating more because they’re all so amazing!!! 🧡

@floralbfs​ augs!!!! god it’s been a while since we started talking but u’ve always been so lovely and have always been there to share ur ideas for the thousand unwritten/posted pangwave and khaithird fics on our dms... i’m so glad that u rbed one of my tgg posts asking for the drama’s name because otherwise i wouldn’t have gotten to know someone as amazing as u 🥰 i hope 2021 is easier for u, sending u lots of love 💛

@vihokratanas​ mel!!! we haven’t spoken much but i’ve noticed that we share our love for a few dramas so i’d love to get to know u better this next year!!! u and violet’s almost daily spam on the bops channel is dearly missed but i know u guys are busy so hopefully this 2021 will be a bit more relaxed 🧡

@doctorbahnjit​ alexa my love!!!!! what can i even tell u.... you’ve been nothing but kind since day 1 that we started talking on the gc and to get to know u this 2020 was such a delight. thank u for being who u are and thank u for watching dramas with me on vc even if u can’t (or i can’t) hear shit, i appreciate it sososososo much and i just love spending hours upon hours (well, until ur grandma ass has to go to sleep) chatting and watching debatably good dramas with u and dawn <3 i hope 2021 treats u better and that u still stay being as awesome as u are 🥰💖

@pangwave​ dawnnie my baby!!!!! hi bb how’s everything going?? i hope u’re okay, i miss u a lot :-(( getting to know u this year has been one of the best things that have come out of this hellhole of a year. thank u for making most of my nights so entertaining with both ur thoughts and ur dumb fights with alexa, they’ve been the highlight of my days from these past 2 months :’) the endless vc calls with u and alexa (and ur shitty internet cutting every single one of ur sentences)  have made my year so much better and i can’t thank u enough for that. u and ur crabsticks and ur opinions and ur incredibly good gifsets are truly some of the best things that have come out of this year. thank u sosososo much for being how u are, i love u so much dawnnie 🥰💖

here’s some other people who have been on my dash for a while and that i appreciate their content as well: @scoupslipgloss (i mostly rb u with my sideblog but i love ur acc!!!) @vocalunits @chaoticbiwuxian @drwcn @bimingjue​ (i wouldn’t be a gifmaker if it wasn’t for u sending me the ps download link so i owe u my Life) @aanau (i rb a lot of what u post and i’m sorry if i have ever spammed u skjfhjsf i just love ur blog even if we don’t really share any fandoms aaaa) @emisfritish @leoyunxi @1akorn @gunsatthaphan @asianmelodrama @fushiguroo @khaotungthanawat @mymycorrhizae @jaehwany​ and @coldties amongst the many blogs that i’ve seen all year on my dash!!!! everyone’s content and posts have gotten me through 2020 so thank u all so much for staying on tumblr 💗

i feel like i’ve forgotten people but please know that if u are not in this but we’ve interacted in any way then you’ve most definitely made some kind of impact to me!! these are just the people i talk with the most 💖

thank u all for being soooo amazing and i hope 2021 is good to everyone here and to everyone who reads this. happy holidays and happy new year to everyone 🥰💖✨

[artanogon]

Hi, um. I have a question. I was drawn to your blog by an ADHD Checklist you made a while ago. And, well. 50 of them matched. Probably something I should look into, right? I was wondering if you had any tips on breaching that discussion with mental health adverse guardians? I understand if you don’t really focus on ADHD, but If you do have any tips and feel comfortable sharing them, they would be greatly appreciated.

Yeah, cool. Thanks for making that post, it helped me figure out a lot of stuff. :)

hi trust!! (is that a cool nickname?) it wasn’t my checklist specifically, but i do have adhd and i’ll be happy to help!  first of all: definitely look into it. at the very least, being able to understand your mental health better and alter your habits from there will make a huge difference in getting through everyday life. i can provide some resources if you like! 

concerning the telling parents thing: i can give you this much. for me, things are kinda fucky. my mother doesn’t believe most mental illnesses are real, just a product of the drug industry, and she’s very ableist with trying to “cure” autism and such. it’s awful. i won’t even touch on my father. i wouldn’t tell him anything anyways. so yeah, i get where you’re coming from. it can be a really difficult thing to do!  the best thing i can offer is this: lay out your evidence, keep your cool. it can be super duper scary! you can try “this is adhd, i think i have it, i’ve done a lot of research into it from many sources (so they can’t argue that you don’t know what you’re talking about!) and i think i have signs [x, y, z]” (if they want more info/proof). if needs be, cater to what they want to hear! the important thing is getting them to listen. 

and one thing to remember: it might not go well. and it’s a sucky possibility. but it is one. but you have to remember that your family does not ultimately define who you are, and they can be extremely wrong! as long as you find people who accept and respect you, family or not, then you’ll be all good! or even just learned to understand and love yourself!! your family’s approval is not the end-all be-all. 

some everyday tips for dealing with adhd, at least in my case: 

-stim if it makes u happy!! stimming, within a context that isn’t harmful to yourself, is so good!!

-establish a routine, find whatever way to write it out or remind yourself or make it fun so that you can commit to it! it takes a long time, sometimes you can forget, but you can’t hate yourself for that. establishing a routine with certain timeframes has helped me so much!

-executive dysfunction and rsd can get really overwhelming!! sensory meltdowns happen!! don’t beat yourself up for them!! u are VALID!!!

-sometimes little charts with everyday reminders help!! give urself a gold star for getting tasks done— making ur bed, brushing ur teeth, each of them deserve a gold star! that can be really helpful!!

-don’t let other people call you lazy or get you down when they don’t understand!! they can Shut The Fuck Up and if they won’t, i’ll come and kneecap them for u! 

there’s probably more but it is Very late here god bless

i might rb with more tips/ideas in the morning! fellow people with adhd, feel free to rb with more advice as well, it’d be really helpful to hear from you guys as well!! and trust, remember that you will always be safe and welcome here!! no matter what!!

we love you 💚💚

— 

ableists and neurotypicals, do NOT fucking clown on this post. nt people can rb and boost, but this is NOT for u to start “discourse” on. ableists just dni. don’t jump in with your opinions. i don’t want them. thank you for your time ❤️