#dedicated to bee pick up lines

[tteokdoroki]

— thirst tweets + katsuki bakugou.

hey so your husband bakugou does buzzfeeds thirst tweet interview and uncovers something hilarious from your old fan account. kinda crack? mostly fluff and a little suggestive !! hence MDNI 18+.

like say he’s on some promotional tour abroad, he’s bee invited to some fashion week or something and they decide to invite him on since fans have been hounding for katsuki do it it for years— so he finally agrees to do it.

it’s early morning when they film, the earliest they could get him in to shoot the video before whatever other promos he has to do on his schedule so katsuki is only half awake and dressed as comfortably as can be. his hair sticks to his forehead, grey hoodie pulled over his head and a coffee in one hand even though he hates the taste but he wants some fucking energy for hell his fans want him to endure.

“let’s get this fuckin’ thing over with shall we?” bakugou grunts as the camera starts rolling, taking a long exaggerated sip of his drink as if to mentally prepare. “the name’s katsuki bakugou ‘n i’m reading your thirst tweets. whores— do i get fuckin’ therapy after this?”

the tweets mostly start off tame, a few comments about how cute bakugou is when he laughs, how his admirers would give up their whole lives for him. the typical stuff in which the pro hero only responds with. “lame. where’s the good shit, i wanna see how nasty you lot can be.” he laughs, ruby eyes drifting over more of the screenshots production had lined him up with. “pro heroes don’t deserve to be sexualised but i want you all to know i’d let pro hero dynamight with a mullet tear my shit up.” he reads the next one with a smirk, pulling back his hood to toy with his growing blonde locks. “should i be growin’ my shit back?”

from here, things start to get progressively worse— bakugou putting the phone down from time to time so he can through his head back in deep laughter, mumbling things like ‘this is so fucked up!’ ‘nah, these guys are fuckin’ nasty.’ ‘can somebody get this on a t-shirt?’ and he’s absolutely having the time of his life filming and reading out his fans’ dirty tweets.

“i’d like to thank whatever god let me be alive at the same time as katsuki bakugou,” he repeats the next tweet out loud, spreading his thighs to sit back in his seat. “i’m your god. ya should be thankin’ me.” the next tweet makes his brows furrow. “i would plaster my bussy on the sidewalk for dynamight— what’s a bussy?”

a few more roll by and the video is almost over but katsuki bakugou damn near loses his mind at the grande finale. “‘if i ever get the chance, i’m gonna make sure that katsuki bakugou, pro hero, aged twenty three, gets the most toe curling, life threatening heart stopping head and then I’ll let him sit on my face with that fat ass of his until i can no longer breathe.” bakugou’s face turns bright red, a snort tearing though his throat as he reads the handle ‘bakugouscumdumpster01’ and then the name of the handler too. “holy fuckin’ shit…where did you guys find this? do you know who this is? this is my wife’s account.”

he would recognise your name anywhere, the way you type and text is still the same as it was five years ago before he met you and gave you the bakugou name. the tweets on the rest of your account are funny, lusting after other pro heroes but most are dedicated to your husband katsuki. the blonde knows the editors will have to cut all of this footage out later but he can’t help but scroll through your tweets and replies under his old tweets from earlier on in his hero career— mentions of how proud you are of him, how much you love him.

and five years later nothing has really changed. you still adore him all the same.

“‘m gonna call her, just you wait. this’ll make good fuckin’ television.” katsuki wonders how much of his cursing they’ll have to censor out when it comes down to editing as he taps your number, smiling when your face flashes up during the dial tone until you pick up.

“hi baby, aren’t you shooting right now?”

your voice fills his heart with joy, beating loud in his chest he’s afraid the cameras might pick up the sound. “i am baby, missed ya though.” there’s a smile on that heart, big and proud when you giggle through the phone and tell him you missed him too— asking him what he needs, if he’s okay, caring about him tenderly in your special way. he hates to ruin it— by reading out the most dirty, disgusting thing you’ve ever said. katsuki repeats your tweet word for word, listening to how you go silent the more he talks. “so does this coupon expire…or?”

you whine, and bakugou knows if you were you would be slapping his chest right now even though you both know he can’t feel it through his big tits (you’ve also tweeted this). “kats! t-that was before i met you!” you squeal, voice trembling with embarrassment— sending his heart into overdrive. you’re so sweet you could give him a toothache. “ohmygod, it’s gonna be in the video. i’m gonna scream, i’m gonna—“

“you sure you’ll be able to do that while yer givin’ me life threatenin’ head, baby?” dynamight rasps, angling the phone at the camera. they might have to cut this too, but he doesn’t care, still being able to fluster his wife is his favourite thing. “c’mon sweets, for the camera?”

you’re quiet for a moment, probably still sulking that your old thirsts for your husband are being uncovered for his amusement. “i’ll give you more than just life-threatening head, kats. just wait until you get home.” you purr through the speaker, voice dropping an octave and katsuki can practically see the way you would look up at him, through your lashes, lips between your teeth. god, he could die. “love you honey.”

and with that, you end the call— the tone ringing out through the set, leaving a flustered bakugou in your wake in front of bright lights and rolling cameras. “i think that’s a wrap?” one of the producers says, snapping dynamight from his thirsty, thirsty thoughts.

“uh…yeah, ‘m katsuki bakugou ‘n this has been reading your thirst tweets.” bakugou grunts bashfully, with a soft smirk on his face, only imagining what nasty acts you’re going to do when he’s done with promotions.

[milligramspoison]

So now the portion of the tour for 2022 is over, l'd like to share my (and fan!) favorite (and iconic) moments from it :)

Sorry in advance for the long ass post :P

Europe:

Live debut of Foundations (Eden night 1)

Disappear for the first time since 2010!

Live debut of Surrender the Night <3 (my first MCR song ever so I FLIPPED when this happened)

Live debut of Boy Division!

Gerard crawling on the floor

Frank moaning in Destroya for the first time in years

FINALLY being able to hear Mikey's line in Vampire $$$

Cemetery Drive for the first time since 2012 (Eden night 2)

Only Hope for Me for the first time since 2012

Tour debut of House of Wolves

Ghost of You for the first time since 2011

Tour debut of S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Headfirst for Halos for the first time since 2009

Live debut of Mastas

The first two shows having Gerard in normal dad clothes then the third show has the bloody mess we all know as Meta Man (MK night 1)

Deathwish for the first time since 2007

Saying moan instead of actually moaning during Destroya

Bulletproof Heart for the time since 2011 <3 (MK night 2)

Ray and Gerard kissing after Destroya

“How'd you get that off my closet door”

Rat attack documentary played before the show (MK night 3)

Mikey dedicating Helena to Rowan and Kennedy <3

Cancer for the first time since 2012

Rowan dancing on stage before MCR goes on with the crowd cheering for her <3

Piss and vinegar

Tomorrow’s Money live debut (Dublin night 1)

The “fuck the queen” chant

Frank's moans during Destroya

Frank telling a fan to listen to Gerard

Frank picking up a (fake) rat

Piss on stairs (Dublin night 2)

“These are my best friends”

Fuck the queen chant round 2

Ponytail Ray

The birthday balloons for Bandit's 13th birthday (Warrington)

Gerard dedicating Teenagers to Bandit for her 13th birthday

“My little bee keeper”

Gerard cardboard cut out

Save Yourself for the first time since 2011 (Cardiff)

“I'm just giving myself an ass pat, sorry”

Frank attempting to toss a hat onto his head

Oil Gerard (Glasgow)

Na Na Na being dedicated to Grant Morrison

Sleep being dedicated to Kristan Morrison

“It's time to drink my piss”

Grant getting the drum head from the Glasgow show

Frank completely shredding it

Mikey Mouse shirt (Paris)

MERCI POUR LE VENIN

Gerard taking a leap of faith

Joke about drinking Frank’s piss

Video of the band making pancakes (Rotterdam)

Ray playing guitar with his wine glass

Fans recreating this

Mikey wearing a happy birthday Kennedy shirt for Kennedy's 3rd birthday <3 (Bologna)

The crowd singing happy birthday to Kennedy for her 3rd birthday <3

Gerard stating that they hope it won’t be a long time before they come back :)

SHORTS GATE (Munich)

Discussion of Twilight

The Da Vinki twins went to the show in Budapest

Slow clap moment

“How many of you are MCR Veterans..Trademark”

Na Na Na played a second time in Warsaw but faster

Engagement during Teenagers!!

Gerard taking down Stuart

Heaven Help Us played for the first time since 2008 (Prague)

Another mention of wanting to return

Clown Gerard (Berlin)

Story time about playing in Berlin for the first time

Hearing Frank laugh when he’s nowhere near the mic

“THEY ARE GONNA HAVE TO BURY ME IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING FILTHY CLOWN SUIT! I AM NEVER TAKING THIS OFF”

The interesting drum

Poncho Gerard (Stockholm)

“I went a little hard the other night with filth clown”

Pointing a rainbow out to Gerard

Mikey’s crooked heart <3

Pink shirt Gerard (two nights in a row in Bonn)

Admitting to googling their own lyrics (Bonn night 1)

Ray's hair being half up half down

Coughing during Destroya instead of moaning

Gerard talking about Hayley Williams

Frank watching Gerard perform Cancer (Bonn night 2)

Llama on stage (a toy but a real one would’ve been cool too)

Closing off the European portion of the tour with Cancer </3

North America:

Clown Gerard 2.0 (Oklahoma City)

Gerard laughing with sparkling water in their mouth

BURY ME IN BLACK FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2003

BEST DAY EVER FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2005

Sleep with an alternate outro

The shirt incident

“Lighten the fuck up, buttercup!”

Ray breaking his wine glass against his guitar

HANG ‘EM HIGH FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2011 (San Antonio)

Sleep with an alternate intro and different outro

Second unintentional Frerard moment

Besties moment from Ray and Mikey <3

Iero on the floor

Debut of the Sunshine intro leading into Sorrows

CHEERLEADER GERARD CHEERLEADERGATE (Nashville)

Summertime being dedicated to Kristin, Rowan, and Kennedy <3

Kristin livestreaming the show!!

Everyone (except Gerard) wearing Mikey Fuckin Way shirts!

The World Is Ugly for the first time since 2008; live debut of the studio version

Gerard almost drinking their microphone

Gerard twirling around and Ray cheering <3

Rowan and Kennedy’s drawings make their debut <3

Mikey doing a livestream prior to the show!!

Gerard singing on the floor (Cincinnati)

Frank stealing Mikey’s line in Vampire Money

SHORTS GATE 2.0 (Raleigh)

Gerard's story time about Bandit trying to make advil m&ms

Everybody Hates The Eagles live debut (kinda)

LIVE DEBUT OF BURN BRIGHT

Gerard in a bloody eyepatch

Gerard shushing the crowd (jokingly) so they can take advil

Sleep with an extended outro (Elmont)

Shorts for the second night in a row

Everybody Hates The Eagles for the second night in a row

Weird ass mask debut

Two fans wearing Petekey shirts

And someone else had the Petekey arm notes written on them

Anddddd two other people had matching Frerard shirts

Shorts for the third night in a row (Philadelphia)

Vampires for the first time since 2012!!

Pool Boy at the Vampire Mansion <3

Gerard calling Mikey Lil Mikey

Debut of the mystery shirts

Sunshine intro leading into FLW (Albany)

Shorts for the fourth night in a row

Mikey watching Waterparks perform

Priest/bloody eyes Gerard (Uncasville)

Eagles returns to the setlist

Ray and Mikey brushing their teeth before the show

Sunshine intro but with S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Skeleton Gerard (Toronto night 1)

CAUSE IM HER KIND OF GIRL AND SHES MY KIND OF BOY

Mikey wearing the happy birthday Goose shirt (Goose is what he calls his mother in law)

CAT GERARD (Toronto night 2)

Frank attempting to kick Mikey (jokingly)

Black Swan Gerard (Boston night 1)

Wholesome picture of Ray and Christa <3

Ray and Gerard colliding then hugging

Best Day Ever being dedicated to Thursday (Boston night 2)

Mikey blowing a kiss to Kristin <3

Frank wearing a headpiece

Ray rocking out with his sons <3

Crowd singing happy birthday to Mikey!! (NYC night 1)

Mikey dedicating Helena to Rowan and Kennedy again <3

Everyone except Gerard wearing Mikey Fuckin Way shirts for Mikey's birthday!

Drum is a Mikey shrine for Mikey's birthday

“How ‘bout you birthday boy?”

Fans wearing party hats for Mikey’s birthday

Gerard wearing the outfit he wore when he witnessed 9/11 (just a special moment honestly; NYC night 2)

DESERT SONG FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2008

Lily pointing Mikey out to Rowan <3

Frank crossing himself during Sorrows

Bathroom photoshoot

Gerard’s story time about running into one of the openers while with Bandit

Frank posting a picture of his ass and getting a ass tattoo (Detroit)

NURSE GERARD

Hey Chris in Detroit

“Lucky for him…I had other plans.”

Crossing out Cancer for Helena (not a favorite or iconic, just offensive lol this is a joke dw)

Hawaiian shirt Way Brothers (St. Paul)

Teenagers being dedicated to Gerard's mailman

Bullet hole makeup

Jackie O Gerard at Riot Fest

Wholesome Jamia moment from the LS Dunes set <3

Wholesome family moment from Frank during Weezer's set <3

Hey Chris at Riot Fest

Frank wearing a bandana around his neck

Frank facetiming his dad just before his set with LS Dunes <3

Mikey watching TBS (Taking Back Sunday) perform

CROP TOP GERARD (Alpharetta)

Teenagers was dedicated to the band's crew

MIKEY WORE EYELINER

First of the hometown shows and Gerard performed with Thursday!! (NJ night 1)

BAT GERARD

I NEVER TOLD YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2008

Best Day Ever with Geoff of Thursday

DEMOLITION LOVERS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2004

Frank Sinatra Gerard (NJ night 2)

PLANETARY GO FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2012

Teenagers was dedicated to Midtown

Cover of Frank Sinatra's My Way

Cherry taking a pic/recording Mikey :)

Miles getting excited when Frank said “trust me” <3

Gerard performing with Thursday

Gabe being one of the reasons why FOB8 is Pete’s villain origin story (iykyk)

BLOUSE GERARD!! (Firefly)

The entire band signs a mannequin leg

“You'll get this at the end of class”

Ghost Gerard!! (Sunrise)

Gerard took the trans flag during WTTBP <3

Frank going out on stage with HGP

Mikey going out on stage with Midtown

Gerard being unable to pronounce Florida

Ended off the east coast portion of the tour with Cancer </3

Dress in Houston!!

“I thought about wearing a dress in Texas before...but that's a story for another time”

Ray posting a peanut with a penis after the show

Mikey going out on stage with Midtown (again)

The return of dad clothes in Dallas

Teenagers was dedicated to the opening acts

“Get fucked at an airport bar”

Mikey wearing a Midtown shirt

Dad clothes again in Denver

Frank interacting with his kiddos <3

Teenagers was dedicated to Sydney

Adam of Taking Back Sunday said opening for MCR was the only way to get Mikey to return his calls

Ray moaning during Planetary Go

“Just sit back, daddy’s gonna take you where you need to go” Adam Lazzara, 2022 (Portland)

Gerard dedicating Teenagers to Taking Back Sunday

Gerard grabbing their phone to look at something

Tomato soup…hm

“Your turn!”

Meta Man cardboard cut out (Tacoma)

Sign for Gerard’s two cats, Mitch and Lotion

Frank going on stage with Kimya

Meredith and Andy went to the show!!!

“Cause if you think Mikey fuckin Way is coming out here to a cold audience, you’re mistaken”

VACUUM GUY AT THE VAMPIRE MANSION

RAY IN A PONYTAIL AGAIN

Teenagers was dedicated to Panda (Kimya’s daughter)

Gerard simping for Robert Pattinson in Batman

Gerard wearing a Twilight shirt

One of Frank’s kiddos giving a fan a paper set list

Smiley face drumhead! (Oakland)

Cum sign

Idk why someone did this but yeah

“Ray and I’s home state. We’ve lived here for...14 years?”

“I see a lot more flesh than usual. It’s fleshy out there”

Mikey and Frank almost bumping into each other before Skylines

Gerard chasing the tech off stage

Singing happy birthday to Worm

Mikey petting Worm’s beard

Gerard in an all black outfit with a rose (Vegas)

Ray rocking out with his sons <3

Ray patting his son’s head <3

Gerard dedicating Teenagers to Bandit again <3

KRISTIN WENT LIVE AGAIN

The drum was for Bandit <3

Engagement during Helena!!

Mikey having a random book signing (Aftershock)

Crowd surfing a…a sex doll during the LS Dunes set

Frank attempting to do a bottle flip at the end of the LS Dunes set

Ray, Jamia, and Frank’s kiddos watching Frank from side stage <3

Gerard’s shirt saying scabs

Gerard gagging on the microphone

The drum saying choke me which goes perfectly with the point above

A deer running around during WTTBP

THEY SOUNDCHECKED DESOLATION ROW (LA night 1)

GERARD WITH A FLAMETHROWER

CHEERLEADER DRESS IS BACK

“This song is about my favorite fucking human” spotlight proceeds to go onto Frank

Gerard got a haircut

THE SHOW WAS FILMED

Teenagers being dedicated to Quentin Tarantino

DESOLATION ROW FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2011

Mikey with his family during I’m Not Okay <3

GERARD COSPLAYING PRINCESS DIANA (LA night 2)

I Never Told You being dedicated to glow in the dark skeleton man

“DO YOU HAVE THE KEYS TO THE LAMBORGHINI BECAUSE IM GONNA DRIVE THAT MOTHERFUCKER INTO A TARGET”

Dedicating Teenagers to a fan

Frank singing Teenagers to Lily <3

Frank hugging one of the twins prior to encore <3

Frank waving to his kids prior to Foundations <3

THEY SOUNDCHECKED ALL THE ANGELS (LA night 3)

THEY SOUNDCHECKED I DON’T LOVE YOU

THE SHOW IS BEING FILMED AGAIN

Foundations being dedicated to Doug </3

I DON’T LOVE YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2019

Teenagers dedicated to a random fan again

KILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2008

WTTBP being dedicated to Doug’s wife and kids </3

ALL THE ANGELS LIVE DEBUT

THEY SOUNDCHECKED SING (LA night 4)

GERARD IS DRESSED AS DRACULA

Teenagers being dedicated to Bandit for the third time as well as dedicating it to her friends <3

Bandit attending the show with her friends

RAY SLAPPING GERARD’S ASS AGAIN

Ghost of You in the encore!!

Mikey bringing Rowan on stage for Kids <3

Rowan making heart hands at the crowd <3

THEY SOUNDCHECKED SISTER TO SLEEP TWICE (LA night 5)

VACUUM GUY COSPLAYING GERARD

SISTER TO SLEEP FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2003

SING FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2012

Teenagers dedicated to the crew

Dinosaur in the pit

GERARD HAS WRITING ON THEIR ARM

FRANK POSSIBLY WROTE ON GERARD’S ARM

LIVE DEBUT OF FAKE YOUR DEATH

Gabe’s son having to be “evicted” during Midtown’s opening set

Ray rocking out with his son during Kids <3

Gerard throwing fake insects to the fans

The final bow </3

Luigi cosplayer comforting emos at the first day of WWWY (cause it was canceled)

Katy Perry welcoming the orphans/emo kids to her Vegas residency show due to the first day of WWWY being canceled

Katy bringing an emo kid on stage with her and starting a mosh

THEYRE ALL IN THEIR REVENGE OUTFITS (WWWY night 2)

FACIAL PROSTHETICS

Opened with I’m Not Okay!

BAT BUCKLE

MIKEY HAS BLOOD ON HIS FACE

FRANK WENT BALD

CONFETTI WAS LITERAL VAMPIRE MONEY

Secretary of Salmonella

Gerard misaddressing the crowd as Utah

First time Foundations isn’t on the setlist since it was released (not a favorite or iconic, just really strange cause we’re all so used to it every night lol)

Frank walking onto the stage like an actual old man

Gerard flipping the crowd off before the show even started

Hayley (from Paramore) mentioning and thanking MCR <3

Person who did their prosthetics last weekend is back! (WWWY night 3)

Adam from TBS sitting on a whole ass person (ik it’s not MCR but it’s too funny to not include)

Foundations returned to the setlist!

Gerard dressed as an army general

GERARD WORE LIPSTICK

OPERA MUSIC BETWEEN SONGS

Mikey wearing the Kristin Fuckin Way shirt <3

GERARD GOT A MEDAL

GERARD BROKE THE MIC STAND AT THE END

Closing off their final US show with Kids </3

Jamia, Kristin, and Christa taking a photo with each other <3

MCR’s first time in Mexico since 2008!

Another sex doll for some reason

“You look good today baby boy” Anthony to Frank during LS Dunes’ set

GERARD IS JOAN OF ARC

Gerard spelt fuego wrong

GERARD SPOKE SPANISH

“WATCH ALL THE SHIT YOU DO”

Mikey winked and smirked at the camera

Gerard playing a telephone sound

FILMING NOTICE BEFORE MAMA

Gerard shouting out Frank and the rest of Dunes <3

NEW INTRO BEFORE FLW

Gerard got an axolotl plushie <3

Ending the North American tour and the final show of 2022 with Kids </3

If you’ve made it this far, first of all, hi! Secondly, ty for looking through this haha.

I’ll probably do this again when they’re in Australia, New Zealand, and Japan next year, so stay tuned! :)

[dokyccis]

busy II | h. renjun

it’s been a while !! // part one here.

“sometimes i wonder when are you gonna stop humiliating yourself because of renjun.” yunjin says in a serious, but ironic tone.

it’s been 2 weeks since renjun left you all alone in your apartment. the way your boyfriend left coldly still gives you goosebumps and you feel like crying with the thought of him not loving you anymore.

you’re insecure about all that, you don’t wanna believe your thoughts but you feel like you need to. you need to face reality and accept the truth.

“i don’t humiliate myself.” yunjin chuckles sarcastically when you finally answer. “do i?” you genuinely ask.

“do we really have to answer?” it’s karina’s turn to say something. “that’s obvious, honey. you just need to open your eyes and see what’s going on.” she’s realistic.

maybe they’re right, you think to yourself.

those were 2 weeks of pure silence between you and renjun, he didn’t message you or call you to ask how you’ve been or just to say hi.

you feel like the feeling that used to be like fire burning in yours and renjun’s heart is now dying little by little, and you don’t want that. does renjun want that? you wonder.

you still remember the sweet thoughts you shared with renjun in silent and calm nights at your place, the atmosphere matching the way you two looked at each other and talked to each other so lovingly.

you believed that renjun was the one & only for you and would always be, but destiny stabbed you with it’s tricks.

“y/n, come on! you need to move on, y’know?” yunjin encourages you.

“it’s not like we broke up, yunjin. he just left and…” you pause. “god, i sincerely don’t know what’s going on with renjun.” you sigh deeply and hide your face in your hands.

“he’s just an ass.” karina says, making yunjin laugh and being contaminated by the red haired girl.

you laugh along with your friends, trying to shrug the pain off. it’s like you lost a significant part of you, like your heart has a big hole that’s just filled up with renjun’s presence.

you’re afraid renjun just played with you all this time, but you also can’t believe that. his sweet words, delicate touch and innocent gaze leads you to think the otherwise.

you can’t imagine your life without renjun, your mind and heart refuses to even think of the possibility. you gave your whole self to renjun, dedicating each special part of you to him.

“he may be an asshole, but i still miss him.” you reveal.

“we know that, hun’.” yunjin says, ceasing her laugh. “it’s kind of normal to miss him, though. look what you’ve created within these past 3 years, you had a pretty admirable relationship with renjun, you two were like bee and honey.” she mocks, karina nods her head in agreement.

“it’s okay to miss him, babe, we’re not judging you for that. remember that we’re your best friends, we’re here to help you recover and stay safe over all of this.” karina smiles genuinely, and you can’t be happier to have friends like yours.

“thank you so much, you two.” you smile back, pulling your two best friends into a warm, comforting and loving hug.

a little bit wild, a little bit tamed

it’s the final line, isn’t it?

a little bit lost, a little bit saved

ain’t we all just a little bit hypocrite?

you sing along to your favorite song’s lyrics. all alone at home, you’re totally distracted by the song’s rhythm and melody, like nothing or anyone else could reach you in that moment.

the thin sound of your apartment’s bell leads you out of your own thoughts and immersion, echoing in your head until it gives you a minimum headache.

you get up from the couch, making your way to the front door to open it.

“who the fuck is bothering me this late?” you ask yourself, picking up the key standing in the little desk nearby the door. you open the door.

“hey, how can i help yo-” your body froze when you looked at the person standing in front of you.

it’s like you haven’t looked at renjun for a while, like you two spent 2 years without talking to each other. he looks devastated, and you feel sick with his presence.

you try to shut your door, but renjun doesn’t let you. “please, let’s talk.” he says in a calm and low tone.

your mind doesn’t wanna let him in, but your heart is weak for renjun and everything he does. if he wants something, then you’re giving it to him.

you sigh deeply, letting renjun in before shutting your door and following him to your couch.

you two sat there in silence. renjun was looking at his fingers, maybe thinking of what he could say to you. in the other side, you felt totally restless. your hands were sweating, your heart was beating fast and your vision started getting blurry.

renjun cleared his throat, gaining your attention. you look at him.

“i know i was very immature.” he assumed. “i’m sorry for that.” he looked at you, your gaze meeting.

you immediately look away, not handling keep eye contact with him. “that’s it?” you say without even thinking, the two words swimming out of your mouth.

renjun was taken aback by your response, you could sense the way atmosphere in the room got more tense than it already was.

“what… what do you mean?” he tilts his head towards you in confusion.

every word said by renjun made you feel more and more nervous, like your heart could explode at any moment. “i mean, you ghosted me for 2 weeks, you never explained me why you were acting like that…” you gain courage to look him in the eyes.

“i cannot accept your apology if you can’t explain me what’s happening.” you’re clear. renjun keeps looking at you, looking for answers in your eyes.

“i told you everything’s oka-” you cut him.

“it’s not okay, renjun!” you yell, getting up from the couch with an impulse. “you always say it’s okay, when it’s evidently not okay.” you burst, emphasizing the “not” in the phrase.

“y/n, calm do-” you cut him again.

“how can i calm down?! tell me, renjun! how the heck can i calm down? you didn’t contact me for 2 weeks, i cried everyday because i thought you didn’t love me,” you pause, sighing deeply before continuing. “and you want me to calm down?”

“look, if you came here just to bother the shit out of me, then leave.” your tone is heavy and serious. “i’m already too stressed and i really don’t wanna hear your stupid excuses anymo-” it’s renjun’s turn to cut you off.

“can you please hear me?” he speaks a little louder. “god, listen to me for once in your life!” he exclaims and you cross your arms, signing for him to continue.

“i’m sorry for ghosting you, i’m sorry for everything i did to you all this time.” he gets up from the couch, facing you. “i love you so much, y/n. you don’t even imagine how much it hurts to know that i made you feel like that.” he steps closer.

you feel your shoulders tense, your hands sweat again and your breath stop with him getting closer.

“y/n.” he takes you by the arm, hugging you tightly. “please, forgive me.” his voice is weak.

you feel the tears form in your eyes, threatening to fall and stain your whole face. renjun tightens up the hug even more when he noticed you didn’t answer him, wanting a minimum reaction from you.

“please, y/n.” he begs. “i know i messed up, i know i made stupid excuses, i know i should pay more attention to you.” renjun said, feeling the tears fall all over his face. “but please, stay.” he begs one more time.

you can’t control yourself, hugging renjun back and crying like a newborn baby in renjun’s arms. his whispered-apologies could still be heard by you, followed by his hands going to your hair and a kiss being deposited in your forehead.

“please, i’m so sorry. please forgive me, y/n.” he begs for the third time.

your heart melted over renjun’s broken tone. you couldn’t handle one more week away from him, so you didn’t think twice before saying:

“i forgive you, jun.”

renjun looked at you with wide eyes, a smiling growing in his face and lightening up his dark eyes. “a-are you serious?” he stuttered. you nod in agreement.

the boy hugs you again, but this time the embrace is filled with happiness and relief. you smile, your arms still wrapped around his body.

“thank you so much, y/n.” renjun thanks you. “i swear i’ll never do that again, i swear to god.” he says without letting go, making you feel safe in his arms after a long time feeling empty when hugging him.

you spend minutes hugging renjun, hearing him apologize to you more than he should and hearing him trying his best to convince you he would never do that again.

the love, affection and admiration that used to be like fire burning in your heart now feels like it again. your love battery with renjun is finally charging itself up after so much time.

you felt like you just returned home and you really don’t wanna ever leave again.

“renjun, we spent about 10 minutes hugging,” you point out. “i think we can pull away, can’t we?”

“let’s stay like this for a little longer, please.” he asks, burrying his face in your neck. you giggle with your boyfriend’s attitude, whispering sweet things and melting in the pleasure sensation that genuine touch gave you.

[the-solarpunk-activist]

Here's how my grandma and I try to live a low waste lifestyle in the city

First thing is we reuse everything. We have a portion of our shelves dedicated to holding plastic food containers we have washed and are waiting to be used to hold leftovers, dried foods, as seed starting pots, etc. We also save any and all jars to hold dried herbs and food products.

Actually reuse is a big thing for us. We shop at places that use paper bags, which I then cut up to use as scrap paper for grocery lists, etc and then compost after that. We also have a small container with rubber bands from products, bread ties, etc.

If you can afford the start up costs and have the space, preserving your own food is excellent. We have a really small garden that produces a lot of food every year. My favorites are dehydrating (using a dehydrator that is at least 30 years old from back when my grandpa was into making jerky), freezing, and canning.

Also, use every bit of food. Right now in the freezer I have bags of apple cores and peeling, pear cores and peeling, and peach peels along with bags of bones and veggie scraps for broths. The fruit scraps will go towards making big batches of jelly when canning season is over. I'll probably use the pulp leftover to dehydrate and powder to add to baked goods following a success with crabapple jelly pulp. I've also made spaghetti sauce out of tomato peels. Anything rotting or absolutely unusable gets tossed in the compost.

Reusables!! Obviously in today's world you can't avoid plastic but you can reduce how much you use. We use reusable produce bags that I made out of scrap Tulle, reusable grocery bags, water bottles, ziploc bags, etc.

If you have a yard or space, composting is a big one! My grandma says she never realized how much food we tossed until we started one. You don't even have to spend money on it! I know people who use totes they drilled holes into, just toss it In a hole in their garden, etc. The one I use is an old hose winder (one of those cube ones( that broke and my work was going to toss. All I did was cut out the hose winding part and paint it pretty and it's held up for 2 years and counting so far.

Hang dry clothes. In summertime we almost exclusively dry our clothes on a line or on a clothes drying rack I found at a yard sale.

Keep your heat or ac a few degrees higher or lower depending on the season. This helps save energy being used to heat or cool your house.

Wash clothes in cool or cold water. I've been doing this for years and haven't noticed a difference.

Repair. You don't have to be a sewing genius to quickly repair a small tear, especially if it's just for household wear. A great winter time hobby to pick up when gardening season is over.

Trade! This can be as simple as hosting a clothing swap all the way up until trading items u grew/made for items they did! I barter with my coworkers all the time, just talk to them! I never would have known my coworker kept bees if she didn't really like my jellies and proposed a trade. I also trade any of my soft produce I don't have time to do anything with to my coworker with rabbits in exchange for poop for the garden.

Try to be in season from local sources such as garden stands, or just a local grocery store. One of our local farms grew bell peppers and was selling then 2 for a dollar! So we stocked up and dehydratedand froze lots of peppers for winter stews

Blended pumpkin guts makes an excellent pumpkin puree, even if you're just adding little bits of it to your dog's food :)

You can freeze a lot of stuff! Leftover spaghetti sauce, pumpkin puree, etc can all be frozen in a muffin pan and then put in bags for future use!

Forage! I personally mostly forage for greens and a few mushrooms I am confident in my ability in but that still bulks up your food supply as well as medicine supply! I made a salve using bartered beeswax and spring purple dead nettle and summer plantain (and some tea tree EO) for cuts and scrapes and it works miracles! My coworkers love it as well as friends and family

We really try to live by the waste not, want not and use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without phrases. Just figure out what works best for the life you live! Be creative!

[vashsmunch]

Nico NSFW

Wolfwood x GN! Reader (MINORS DNI!)

Synopsis: uhh shapeshifting Spanish wolfman grrr woof woof

Tags: 7.3k words, sort of hurt/comfort(?), slight electrical play, orgasm denial (not really), mention of blood, praise kink, oral, fingering, voyeurism (not really), emotional sex, PORN

A/N: okay, so this is the LONGEST thing i've ever written. like ever LMAO :') i've also never written ww before so please lemme know if i need to change the characterization! and yes he speaks spanish, he's a dog that suddenly speaks spanish don't question it

dedicated to bee, jackson and alexa

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───  

"Mi tesero... please..."

You froze in the front doorway as the words rang throughout the house. More like a plea? Your mind spun with a million thoughts, and none of them could have explained that sound just then.

The day had been pretty mundane, at least until you heard that noise just then. You had left your new puppy alone in his crate so you could go out to run errands, just picking up groceries, a couple of treats, and other things. Anxiety bubbled in your stomach as your thoughts ran to the worst, and you couldn't help but curse yourself for being careless. God, what if he had hurt himself?

When you first adopted him, he was very apprehensive, snapping and snarling at you every time you got close. Hostile might be a better word, considering how he had almost bitten off your hands more than once. He wouldn't sleep around you either, and it was only when you were out did he collapsed from exhaustion. 

Honestly, this behavior wasn't shocking considering the place he came from. When you stepped foot into the shelter, the first thing you noticed was the smell. The place was musty in every sense of the word, and you couldn't help but wrinkle your nose when you saw the owner. He was unshaven, unkempt, and looked as if vacuum dust had been personified into a man. 

As he took you to the back where all the animals were held, your heart broke into tiny pieces. Lining the walls were dozens of cramped and dirty crates, each of them housing a different dog. One thing they all had in common was their appearance: matted fur, sunken faces, and dull eyes. You had to avert your eyes from their tired gazes, fearing that you might break down entirely if you looked too closely. The owner's words flew in and out of your ear as you kept your eyes trained on the floor, walking until you felt something ground you to your spot. You looked up and to your right to see a huge puppy, an insanely large one at that. He had long black fur and a piercing stare, it was intimidating, to say the least. Upon closer inspection, you saw that he had scars branding the length of his body, and they looked like crucifixes. 

What kind of religious Catholic fucks…

You took a step closer and he immediately tensed up, growling loudly. His eyes were filled with pure hatred, and you couldn't tell if it was towards you, the owner, or both of you. You were kind of glad metal bars were keeping the two of you divided, the chances of him lunging forward and attacking you were high. 

The owner's eyes glanced over to you transfixed, and he let out a heavy and somewhat irritated sigh. "Ah, him. Don't bother, he's a lost cause. The last owners gave him in pretty bad shape, and he don't trust anyone now."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes as he said this, knowing that the conditions the poor puppy was in weren't helping. Anything would be miserable in a dump like that. 

As the rather pessimistic tour resumed, you couldn't help but let your thoughts wander back to that dog. Were the odds of him mutilating you to the bone high? Yes. But were you also ready to take that chance? The answer was clear. You stopped the owner in his tracks, pointing back at the puppy's cage.

"I want him." 

He gave you a rather incredulous look, then shrugged as if he could give less of a damn. "Your funeral, buddy."

It had taken weeks to carefully break down his walls piece by piece, and slowly he grew to understand you weren't a threat. The way he'd lay next to you on the couch and nuzzle your hand to get you to pet him, made your heart thrum and ache all at the same time. Who had hurt him so badly? Your hand would run through his soft black fur, caressing his ears and a soft laugh left your lips as his tail thumped onto the sofa pillows. Sometimes, he'd wait for you by the door when you stepped out for just a moment, either to talk to neighbors or grab the mail. When you came back, his black eyes lit up with a brightness that you had only prayed for when you first took him home. It was that day you made a promise to yourself; No matter what the case was, you'd never do the same to him. 

With that in mind, you raced through the house, almost slipping on the steps in the stairwell in your hurry. "Wolfwood? Baby?" As you got closer to your bedroom, you heard a sound that turned your feelings from anxiety to confusion, then to complete and utter ruin. 

There were moans. There was moaning coming from inside the room. Heavy panting, sounds of your bed frame creaking, and little whimpers of your name. 

“God... fuck... FUCK."

You jumped as a yell rang out past the door, the voice sounding desperate and needy. It was followed by a broken whine, and it was only then that you realized what the voice sounded like.

It couldn't be. Could it..?

To soothe your curiosity, and out of pure worry for your beloved pet, you cracked the door open to look inside. You couldn't help the way your eyes bugged out as you were greeted with a scene that you weren't expecting in the slightest. A dark-haired tanned man was sitting on the edge of your bed, hunched over as he fisted his cock with a piece of fabric. The cries and curses that spilled from his lips had your knees weak, and this would've been all fine and dandy if it weren't for the fact that a MAN was in your bedroom. Realization came to you as you stumbled back a bit, as you finally understood the gravity of the situation. There was a stranger (a handsome stranger) in your bedroom, leaving no indication as to how he got into your house, and even less as to why he was jerking off. In your ROOM. 

You stood there flabbergasted as the grunts continued, each one making you grow even more aroused to your dismay. Was this some kind of sick fantasy you didn't realize you had until now? Whatever. Composing yourself, you took some steps closer to press your face against the crack of the door again, determined to take a closer look at him. For whatever you knew, this could be some sick maniac freak hellbent on killing you. That would explain how he had gotten into your apartment without triggering the alarm system. As your eyes glanced around the room, you noticed the little details you hadn't before. The bed sheets were absolutely trashed, messed up with rips all over them, and your dresser drawers were opened, looking like they had been rummaged through. There was a suspicious-looking puddle of white liquid on the floor, and you didn't even want to think about the possibilities of what that could be. Your eyes flickered back to the man, and you felt your heart stop. Was that…

There's no way.

That was YOUR underwear. That was your fucking underwear he was jerking himself off with. 

Before you could let out an earth-shattering shriek because of the pure terror the scene had let wash over your body, you took a closer look at his chest. It was then that you froze. There were two crucifix scars branded onto the skin, almost like they had been seared on with a fiery iron. Each one ran down the length of his torso and stomach starting from his nipple, and the pale flesh was a stark contrast to the melanin he possessed. As you stared some more, it occurred to you that they seemed familiar. Almost too familiar. And that's when it hit you: that was Wolfwood. You weren't sure how, and you couldn't even begin to rationalize it in your brain, but that was him. You could just feel it. That was your puppy, turned into a fully grown adult man, and that man was fucking himself with your underwear. 

Suddenly, you slipped through the door, and you lost your balance. You fell to the floor, and you kept your gaze fixed on the ground as complete horror struck your body again. There was pin-drop silence in the room, and you couldn't even bring yourself to look up at him. No matter what the case, you had been spying on him masturbating. The thought in itself sounded so unlike you, but that's how it was. And now you couldn't help the sweat that beaded on the edge of your forehead, completely dreading what happened next.

Out of the corner of your view, there was a flash of black before your back hit the floor with a dull thud. You blinked your eyes open to see dark brown irises staring into your very soul, as a tight pressure formed on your wrists. It took you a few seconds to register that the man had you pinned on the ground, his body hovering over yours. His very NAKED body, hovering over yours. Before you even got the chance to become embarrassed, a low growl left his lips.

"Dulce pecadora... You were gone for way too fucking long." Wolfwood started nipping and licking at your neck, each long stroke of his tongue sending full-body shivers down your spine. He tugged at your head to give him more access to your skin as he started to roam his hands down the length of your body before his hands settled on your hips. 

You hissed softly, getting lost in the feeling of him touching you before you pushed him away, panting. "Wait... Wolfwood, wait." 

He let out an impatient huff as he sat back on his heels, and it was only then that you noticed his tail wagging back and forth. You hadn't realized the fact that he still had his tail and ears, as well as his abnormally long claws. They dug into the flesh of his thigh as he stared at you annoyed, his throbbing cock slapping against his navel. It was freakishly big (just like the rest of him) and you pulled your eyes away to meet his gaze. "Explain."

"What is there to explain?" Wolfwood rolled his eyes, seeming to get more irritated by the second, and you didn't even know why. 

“I don't know, maybe the fact that I had a dog, and now a grown-ass man is masturbating in my bed? You know I almost called the police on you right?"

His eyes darkened at the mention of the police, and you couldn't help but feel there was something deeper there that needed to be discussed. However, you pushed it aside and rested your body on your forearms, looking up at him. "What exactly are you?"

"I'm a man. Clearly."

“What are you really?"

"Ay Dios mío," A deep sigh left his lungs as he looked at you intensely. There was a mixture of emotions that you couldn't decipher, but there was one that you recognized without a doubt. Lust. You'd unpack that later. "I didn't stutter, I'm a man. There are uncertainties ‘round  it that I'm not even sure ‘bout, but the fact is I'm human now and that's it."

You glanced around him to stare at his tail, then back at him.

"For the most part, anyways."

Sitting up, you rubbed your temples becoming keenly aware of the situation you just landed yourself into. Your presumed dog was now an actual person and said person had started calling you pet names whilst kissing and licking at your neck. "Okay, so what is..." You waved your hand at the mess that had become your room. Now that you looked closer, it turns out that mysterious liquid on the floor was cum. Great. "...This?"

"Rut."

You stared at him incredulously, completely lost. Did he just say rut? You knew very little about animal biology (did he even count as an animal anymore?), and at no point had you ever been interested in whatever could make one come a literal puddle onto the hardwood you had just cleaned the other night. But the way he was looking at you, and the way his cock started to swell and grow impossibly bigger, you could get a general idea. "What, like some kind of sex craze thing?"

"More or less. 'M gonna be honest, I didn't even know this shit was a thing until..." Wolfwood looked up and down your body with a gaze so impossibly hungry, that you thought you'd melt on the spot. "You. This whole thing is ‘cause of you. And now... I need you to take responsibility." 

There was a blink. A second one. Then suddenly your whole body was flooded with heat as you looked at him, eyes blown wide open again just like when you first looked into the room. You could see the faintest of deep red blooming at the base of his neck, and it somewhat comforted you that he also understood the ludicrousy of what he just said. "Excuse me?"

Wolfwood let out a string of Spanish words that you could only assume to be curses as he stood up. Your eyes immediately flickered down to his pulsing cock; his tip was already beading with precum, and you couldn't help but wonder how many rounds he had done before you came in. You hurried to your feet as he started to come closer, and soon he had you pinned against the door, closing it shut. His breath was hot and heavy with exasperation against your face, and he trailed a long nail up the skin of your arm and shoulder before it rested underneath your chin. Your mind spun with a thousand thoughts as he tilted his head at you, raising your chin to meet his gaze. "You can deny all you want, but if you were truly against it, you wouldn't have been watchin’ me, mi picante." He smirked at you, running a tongue over his bottom lip as he watched you squirm. 

Then, his face got rather serious as he pressed his forehead against yours. He was burning up, his skin impossibly hot as he shut his eyes, seeming to relish the feeling of you being so near. "Look. I know this is... weird. Hell, if there's anyone confused, it's me. But I need you. Like I haven't needed anything else before. Will you help me? Like you did before?"

You felt a part of you melt at his words, knowing he was referring to the shelter. It hadn't occurred to you that as much as you need someone to be near, he was probably craving that too. Whatever happened in his past, it made him cold and calloused and it was clear that you were the only one he trusted in that moment. And with that in mind, who were you to deny?

A soft sigh escaped you as you stepped forward to press a kiss against his cheek. "So, so needy, aren't you, Nico?" 

He froze in his place, notably getting even hotter as his tail started wagging. You couldn't help but smile, he really was just a puppy at heart. Nicholas D. Wolfwood, that was his full name. Rather long, but it just felt right when you first got him. You didn't pull out that nickname unless it was for special occasions, and you felt like this qualified as one. A hand trailed up his cheek to scratch behind the ears on his head, and he let out a broken whine. Slowly, you pressed him backward to lay on the bed, throwing the ruined bedsheets to the side. You couldn't help but note the way his legs trembled at your touch, and you filed that away in a separate compartment in your brain. You'd be using that later.

His body writhed underneath you as you continued your ministrations, kissing up and down his neck. You let your hands roam the dips and curves of his body, paying special attention to his scars. He tensed up and you eased your touch, coming up to his face to kiss him gently on the lips. "Hey, hey... it's okay. It's me, remember? I won't hurt you, I promise."

God, how you wished he would believe you. More than anything you wanted to find those assholes who had broken him to the core and make sure they didn't live to see another day. Wolfwood, as strong as he was, was just another being. Despite whatever happened, now he was human. JUST a human. Someone capable of any and all emotions. He could feel joy, suffer from sorrow, and even this. Even this "rut" he was going through. And while it had been off-putting at first, all of this amounted to the fact that none of it would change how you felt. You cared about him like you had never cared about anyone else before. Just like he needed you, you needed him. Ever since he came into your life, there was something to actually look forward to. The days that had once been bleak and dark were now filled with life, and it was all because of him. He with all his gruffness, sarcasm, and sassiness, even as a puppy, was your reason for living. And you'd be damned if you let anyone else treat him as anything less. 

You felt Wolfwood caress your cheek with his large and calloused hand, and his thumb brushed at the skin. "You're crying." It wasn't a question as to why, more of a remark. 

“Yeah... I guess I am." You let out a soft laugh as more tears flooded your vision and streamed down your cheeks. How utterly unsexy of you, but you couldn't give a damn. All this time, it had never really occurred to you just how much you cared about him. It had only been a matter of time before the feelings spilled out. And here they were, crashing over your body like a tidal wave as you shook violently. You held him close and sobbed into his shoulder, saying nonsensical words that neither you nor him could decipher. There were whispers of apologies, utters of praise and then some more.He said nothing and just held you; at that moment, everything seemed to fall into place. He was the gift you never knew you needed, and you couldn't help but internally scoff at the nickname they had given him back at the shelter. The Punisher. 

If he was such, then maybe masochism really was something you were into. 

Eventually, he broke the silence with a quiet gruff. "You're crushin' my dick, ya know."

You let out a loud laugh as you moved off of him, kissing his forehead as an apology. 

"Sorry, sorry," You wiped the tears off your face and sat on the bed next to him, absentmindedly tracing patterns onto the flesh of his thigh. "Can you explain more to me about what you need right now? Yes, you're in... rut. But how can I help?"

He exhaled shakily as he felt your touch on him again, and he leaned back against the headboard, trying to ground himself from the pleasure that was overtaking his senses. "Long story short, I need to fuck you," He looked back at your shocked expression and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But that's what needs to happen to fix this shit," His eyes seemed to undress you with every glance, and he couldn't help but relish in the way your cheeks heated up. Even so, his hand moved down to take yours, gripping it slightly. "However... I ain’t gonna pressure ya into anything you don't want. We can deal with this no matter what happens, and fucking doesn't gotta be one of them." Wolfwood's other hand came to take your chin, prompting you to look into his eyes as if trying to convince you of the same promise you made him: that he would never do anything to harm you. 

You nuzzled into his palm, finding comfort in the roughness of the skin. It was a story of his life, hard on the exterior to match the man they belonged to. But he held you like you were the only thing keeping him together, his one steady rock in the turbulent life that he had led before meeting you. It was with a gentleness you had never experienced before, and you couldn't help but beam. "I trust you. If you wanted to hurt me, you would've done it by now. Let me help you."

As you said this, he bore a shit-eating grin and smashed his lips against yours. A whimper left your lips as his hands fondled at every patch of skin they could find, as if trying to solidify the fact that you were here, with him. It was heated and hungry, leaving your mind foggy as he pulled back, not only for air but to tug at your clothes. He looked up at you again, and you tilted your head at him. "What are you waiting for? Be a good boy." 

An uncharacteristic whimper left his lips and he murmured under his breath as he tugged at your bottoms. "Lift your hips for me, media naranja," 

You let out a tiny hum, doing as he asked without another word uttered. As the fabric slipped off your body, his face flushed an even darker red, staring at your lower half. "Like what you see?"

“You're gonna be the death of me, ya know that?" he groaned, tucking his face into the inside of your thigh to presumably hide his embarrassment. 

Your giggles turned into a string of broken moans as he started to mark your skin with nips and bites. His teeth were noticeably sharper than the average human's, but that only spurred you on. You sat up on your forearms to look at him with need. "You're going easy."

He looked up at you with hooded eyes, his expression glazed with desire. "For your sake, mi corozón." He looked so utterly fucked out just from tasting the skin of your leg, you couldn't even begin to imagine how he'd be once he was actually inside of you. Despite all of this, you could tell he was holding back. 

You held out a hand to caress his jaw and you slowly opened his mouth. A finger grazed his pointy canines, admiring the sharpness. Suddenly, you were pressing against it, hard enough to draw blood and enough to get Wolfwood's flowing as well. "I'm stronger than you think," you bit your bottom lip as you tucked your bleeding thumb into his mouth, prompting him to suck it dry. He eagerly lapped up the ruby droplets, and his pupils dilated to the edges of his irises. Sitting up, you took his face in your hands to tug him up to yours. A smile graced your face as you sweetly whispered into his ear, "Don't stop. Even if I beg you to."

Wolfwood gaped at you, absolutely dumbstruck, before his eyes narrowed. In a flash, he flipped you around, and your back hit the mattress with an unceremonious thump. His body was pinning you against the bed, as he panted hard against the skin of your neck. "I don't think... you understand what this is gonna be like. I’m gonna ruin you. I'll fuck you so hard that you won't want ever anyone else's cock inside of you by the time I'm done. I'm giving you one last chance to back out."

There was a long pause as he pulled back to stare intensely, and you matched his gaze with the same amount. He was giving you the option to leave, and you weren't interested whatsoever. A smirk crept onto his face as he confirmed your determination, and leaned down to the dip between your nipples, kissing your sternum. He teased you, trailing his lips and fangs all the way down your torso, leaving you a sweaty mess from the tension alone.

"W-Wolfwood... fuck..."

"Nico." He looked up at you from between your legs, and you let out a tiny breathless whimper from the feeling of his tongue lapping and tracing patterns into your pelvis. "Please."

"Nico." 

His eyes softened, his lips letting out a soft howl of approval as he finally graced your heat with a kiss. Strong hands came to grip your legs as your hips thrusted up into the air, white-hot pleasure flashing from behind your eyelids. Nico folded your body in half, having your knees practically touch your shoulders as he pulled you closer to his mouth. He devoured you like a man left starving for days, encouraging every roll of your hips as you tried to match his fervor. It wasn't enough, it wasn't enough. He was so close yet so far, feasting on everything you were willing to give him.

He took everything with no complaints, complete and utter devotion in his eyes as he forced you to look at him. Forcing you to look at how ruined he was making you. Your body was an offering he could never bear to refuse, and it was then that he felt that maybe the brandings on his chest were alluding to something hidden within him. If he was purposed for holy reasons, this couldn't be anything but sacrilege. How delicious the taste of sin was. 

With a cry, your orgasm washes over your body, so gentle and intense all at the same time. Just like the man who kept you in place even as your legs shook, continuing to coax you through your high. As he finally came up for air, your wetness was smeared all over his mouth, his tongue poking out from between his lips to lap it all clean. He gave you a pathetic little face as he unhurriedly thrust his cock against the mattress, looking for some kind of relief. "Wanna... inside.."

Your lips curled into a smile as you cooed sweetly at him, your hand coming to cup his cheek. "You gotta speak up for me, Nico. Otherwise I won't know what you want."

He whined, looking torn as he debated saving his pride versus finally getting to feel you. "Please... lemme feel inside… baby please…" The big bad dog who'd supposedly had you by the throat was now in the palm of your hand, waiting for your next words. And you couldn't be more pleased. 

Placing a kiss on his forehead, you whispered against his skin. "Not yet. You can be a good boy for me, right? You're so good." Ignoring his protests, you got out of bed, your legs shaking a bit as you gripped onto the bed frame to steady yourself. The absolute distraught look on his face as you left the room was priceless, and it only encouraged what you were about to do.

You grabbed a small blanket and wrapped it around yourself as you made your way downstairs again, trying not to flash any neighbors who happened to be looking in your first floor windows. As you got to the kitchen, you grabbed the bags you had carried in earlier and open them up, smiling as you took what you were looking for out. 

Before you had come home, a friend had asked you to come over to their apartment. She handed you her gift, saying it was only for precaution and hopefully you’d never have to use it. Having a notoriously aggressive dog does require some after all. You hadn't given it a second thought, pushing it to the bottom of your bag, because you weren’t a fan of hurting your puppy like that. But as you pulled the shock collar out and gave it a once over, you couldn't help but think this was all some divine intervention.

Making your way back upstairs, you first grabbed the leash you used for walks and attached it to the collar, tugging to make sure it was secure, then made your way to the bathroom. You hadn't had sex in a long time, so you were taking no chances. After spending a long time cleaning yourself up to acceptable standards, you entered your bedroom again and saw Nico kneeling on the mattress, back straight and mouth slightly parted. He looked at you with impatient yet forgiving eyes, as if he was trying to impress you with his obedience. You smiled as you came closer to the bed, and rested your hand on his neck, letting him ease up. 

His eyes drifted to the collar in your hand, then back up to you. You couldn't gauge the expression on his face, so you decided to explain gently. “I want to try something,” you gave him the collar, and watched as he turned it over, looking at it blankly. “This is a shock collar. It’s not made for humans, so I’ll turn the voltage all the way down. I think you’d feel really good with it on, but only if you’re comfortable with it.”

You used your thumb to tilt his chin up to meet your expression so he could see how serious you were. “I would never hurt you. Just like you’d never hurt me. Do you trust me?”

He was silent for a few moments before he looked into your eyes, nodding. “I do.”

You beamed at him, and planted a gentle kiss on his nose, watching his tail wag in excitement. “That's a good boy,” Taking the collar from him, you carefully wrapped it around his neck before clicking it together. A perfect fit. You had him lay back against the headboard and you reached over to your nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, noting the way his eyes brightened. Clicking the cap open, you helped him drizzle some onto his cock, which you were only now realizing the sheer size of. From a quick glance, you knew he was freakishly big, but up close, he was absolutely massive. It was throbbing, his mushroom tip leaking with big drops of precum, with what seemed to be a large sphere at the base of it. As your hand grazed over his length, he twitched violently, and it seemed to swell even more.

Is this even going to fit?

Deciding to go a bit easy on yourself, you tugged him closer by the leash, brushing your lips against his own. “We’re gonna start slowly, okay? I want you to feel everything,” 

He reluctantly nodded and let out a shuddering gasp as you started to play with the head, his hips coming up to thrust against your fingers. “S-sensitive…”

You tutted softly and grabbed the remote that controlled his collar from the nightstand. You pressed a button and he jolted with a yelp, not expecting the light zap that hit his neck. “I told you to be good. Don't disobey me now.” 

His eyes brimmed with unshed tears as you continued to touch him, eventually wrapping your entire hand around his cock. It was so big that your fingers barely touched together, but you gave him a tiny pump to gauge his reaction. Nico’s eyes rolled back as he clenched his fists, trying his hardest not to move an inch or disobey you. “Hah… ngh…”

“Hmm… so pretty. And all for me. You’re just so eager to fuck me, aren't you? So, so eager~”

Nico threw his head against the headboard, letting out a tiny constrained mix of a growl and a plea as you sat up on your knees to shuffle his cock between your thighs. His eyes were squeezed tight before he opened them to look at you, silently begging. He didn't want to risk the collar again, but he was getting desperate and you knew this. You gave him a light tap on the cheek before nodding. He jumped on this opportunity, taking your hips to squeeze your thighs together against his dick as he humped your legs. A long drawn out moan of relief left his lips as he pulled you down to him, kissing you fervently. Even the slightest bit of touch, he was so grateful for. You, he was so grateful for.

You played nice, letting him pull moans and coos of praises out of you, telling him how good he was, how about beautiful he looked fucking your thighs. Falling apart just from the slightest bit of touch, not even inside you yet. “Feels so good, doesn't it?”

“Yes!” he panted out, started to go faster as he tightly gripped the flesh of your hips, surely to leave a bruise later. “So, so good, Jesus God- please…”

Your eyes softened as you whispered, your words almost lost amongst the sound of slapping skin and creaking wood. “I want you to hold out for me a little longer, okay? You’re doing so perfect, you feel sooo right~”

Nico looked at you with teary eyes, sniffing as a wet droplet dribbled down his cheek. His lips were flushed and bleeding red from how he bit down on them, and as you moved him to kiss them bare, he whimpered. “Mi vida, please. Estoy desesperado… I need to… to-!” He howled as finished, his cum splattering all over your thighs and lower back as he slammed against you one last time. Sobs of relief spill from his mouth as he clutches you tightly, his cock still hard and twitching between your legs. 

You tucked your face into the crook of his neck, placing apologetic kisses to try and soothe him. Even thought he didn’t last, he was trying so hard to, and that’s what mattered. As long as he felt good, then everything else could wait. “Are you okay, Nico?” 

He let out a few shuddering breaths before nodding softly. “Yeah… ‘m just tired,” His dick twitched again as you shifted your weight on your legs, and he let out an exhausted chuckle. “That part of me isn’t, I guess,” Pulling back, he regarded you with a quiet expression. “Well, before we go any further, I gotta tell you something.”

You tilted your head, looking back with a quizzical expression. “You painted a bodily fluid mosaic on my back and now you want to say more? 'Tis a bit late for that, is it not?” 

Caught off guard by your question, he laughed loudly, pressing your lips together as his body shook in amusement. “Such is the curse of being attracted to you, estrella,” he gingerly pulls you off of him, his dick still rock hard despite the sheer intensity of his previous orgasm. “It’s got more to do with what…” he motions to the base of his cock, where that mysterious sphere was. “That is.” 

Sitting back on your heels, you stared at it. It most likely had something to do with his animal… thing, but you weren’t sure what the hell it was supposed to even be. Or do, for that matter. It took you a few seconds for it to hit you, and you looked up at him shocked. “That’s gonna go in me?”

“Yeah… Trust me, I’d rather it not. I get that I’m already…” he quirked an eyebrow at you and a glimpse of a smile graced his face. “...well endowed, but this shit’s not gonna end unless that happens. I gotta be honest, I’m more worried about what comes after it’s inside.” (heh no pun intended)

You gaped at him incredulously. “What the hell do you me after?”

He reached over to flick your forehead gently, slightly exasperated. “Lemme explain, will ya? It acts somewhat like a seal, so when I finish, none of it escapes,” he took note of the flushed expression you wore, and he went on to clarify. “If you got a condom, then that’s that taken care of. But if not, then it stays inside until the swelling goes down and I’m able to pull out. And I’m not sure how long that takes.” 

Your eye twitched as he finished explaining, and you couldn’t help but sigh. “If you mess up my mattress like you did with my bedsheets when you pull out, I’m gonna kill you.”

Nico chuckled and pulled you in for another kiss, his hands tangling with the hair on the nape of your neck. “No promises, darlin'.”

Any tension and irritation you had faded as he pressed his tongue inside your mouth while he tugged you back into his proximity. Except the tiniest amount that still resided, which had you bring your hands up his chest to tug and twist as his pebbled nipples. He hissed softly, grinning against your lips as he matched your teasing ministrations. "Ah... Santa Madre... Eres el deseo que nunca puedo resistir." His thumb traced your jaw, tipping your face to the side so he could have easy access to your neck. The sounds he made while marking you as his couldn't be described as anything but scandalous. Muttering filth and debauchery as he bit into the skin, pulling blood and then licking it clean as an apology. 

You stuttered and tripped over your words, your vision going dark with pleasure. "N-ni..." Words were becoming hard to articulate, and you didn't know if you could take the teasing any longer. 

He tutted, sucking harshly on your collarbone before looking up at you through his eyelashes. "Look at you... can't even say my name properly," He took you by the back of your head and pulled you closer, whispering. "Forgotten our manners, hm? You're feeling a little too good, aren't you..." A soft kiss was left on your nose, gentle and affectionate. "Quiero hacerte sentir el paraíso, cariño. I'll take good care of you, don't worry."

Nico laid you in front of him again, and through the fog of your desire, you could vaguely make out him reaching for the bottle of lube again, taking your hand and lathering your fingers. He leaned over you, breathing heavily as he moved both of yours down your body to your puckered little hole. His sharp nail gently trailed the circumference of it, making you whine desperately. 

"I don't wanna hurt ya... Once you've prepped yourself, I'll give you everything you need. Okay, darlin'?" 

You nod slowly, pressing into your swollen flesh and making your back arch with tension. It didn't feel as good as you imagined Nico's would have, and this only spurred you on more. You looked at him, trying to be convincing and alluring as you went knuckles deep, weeping with lust. Without another second wasted, you started to thrust in and out, your eyes heavy-lidded. Your hips were raised towards him so you could angle deeper into yourself, letting yourself get lost in the feeling and adding even more fingers. With every calculated move, you were testing him, BEGGING him to fuck you; and you weren't gonna stop until he finally gave in.

He let out a deep groan as he pulled you by the hips towards him, reaching down to brush the hair out of your eyes. "You're that desperate for me, huh? You wanna go dumb from me driving my cock into you?" Nico gripped your wrist, gently pulling you out from your sex, and starting to grind his cock against you. Even after all of that, he was still trying to give you time to adjust and back out, he was on the... larger side after all. But truthfully, you were getting really damn tired of the courtesy. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him down to meet your gaze. "If you leave me aching for your dick for one more second, I'll neuter your ass."

He grinned and gave you one last peck on the lips. "Just making sure." Suddenly, he thrust into you, filling you all the way to the base of his knot. Your mouth dropped open and before you could even register the pain, he let out a deep, resounding snarl and started pounding into you hard like a man gone mad. 

There were screams and wails ripped from your lungs as you scratched at his back, but he wasn't deterred. If anything, he relished in the pain. Every clench of your puffy walls around his cock was a testament to how good he was making you feel. That he was the one who was turning you into a babbling mess, a wreck that couldn't stop their legs from shaking and trembling. 

In that moment, as ludicrous as it was, he knew that he loved you. He loved you so much, with every inch of his cold, scarred heart. You were the one who brought him into your home, asking for nothing in return even as he growled and snapped at you. You treated him with a kindness that he had never experienced, and the only thing he could offer in return was the promise that he would make you feel this good all the time. No matter when you wanted it, no matter how you wanted it, he would be that person for you. And even then, he would try. He would try so fucking hard to be the man you deserved because he knew that he couldn't let anyone be with you ever again. 

Nico buried himself in the crook of your neck, kissing every area that he could even process was there, absolutely drunk in the feeling of you around him. God, you felt so good. You were so, so good in every way. He would take care of you, and make sure you never felt lonely ever again. Every bite and mark he left was a testament to how much how cherished you, and how you were his. You were his, as much as he was yours, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He pulled back, pressing your foreheads together as his hips continued to slap against yours, creating a lewd symphony of noises. 

"Eres mi todo."

Your eyes brimmed with tears and you smiled, pressing your lips together in a sloppy kiss. "Never leave me. Please."

"I won't. I promise."

Both of your moans got louder and you felt your stomach twist, that familiar explosive feeling building up. The stickiness of your skin melding together, the warm feeling that washed all over you, this is the closest you were ever going to get to heaven. He ruthlessly reached into the deepest parts of your body, absolutely ruining sex with anyone else for you. You couldn't stop the salty streams from flowing down your cheeks as you tried to speak, your words coming out broken and hoarse. "I love you, God, I love you!" 

Nico hushed you with another kiss, understanding every unspoken word that you were trying to say. "You feel so perfect... like you were made for me. You're so beautiful, mi alma gemela." His thrusts got faster until he finally slammed his entire cock into you, knot and all. You screamed out in rapture, finally coming and violently shaking from underneath him. Your orgasm ripped through your entire body, leaving you absolutely breathless while stars exploded from behind your eyes. It was the most intense thing you've ever experienced, and you could barely register the feeling of Nico's hips stuttering to a pause, a loud moan dripping from his lips as he spilled himself deep into the crevices of your heat. 

You dug your nails into the skin of his back as he filled you to the brim, feeling that maybe this was where you were meant to be all your life. With him, in the most intimate way possible. God, you loved him.

Eventually, the two of you came down from your shared climaxes, and you relaxed into the bed, while he rested on his forearms above you, panting hard. You were absolutely spent, and you couldn't help but cheekily smile up at him, your eyes heavy with exhaustion. "So... I'll take it as you enjoyed that?"

He let out a loud, tired laugh as his hands came to cup your face, nuzzling against your cheek. "Eres un pequeño liante, ¿sabes?"

You hummed in response, relishing in the feeling of him on your skin. “Also, you wanna explain how you just suddenly know Spanish?”

“Call it a quirk.”

[hearts401]

MY THOUGHTS ON HELLUVA BOSS AS A WHOLE

I have sooo many things to say so I’m putting it here! Unfortunately, I’m not put together enough to compile this neatly. But meh. If there’s a character that’s not here, it means either I have nothing notable to say about them, or anything I had to say has already been said in another character’s portion.

Also I’m not discussing design the only design I REALLY hate is Bee’s because it's cluttered and boring okay? Okay.

I have beef with other designs but not enough to mention

I'm mostly talking about specific characters and relationships, and other things will be talked about in those! :3

Blitzo:

Starting with Blitzo because he’s clearly Viv’s favorite.

Blitzo is actually really well written in my opinion. He’s the flawed character type Viv should apply to ALL her characters. He’s not babied by the narrative half as much as any other character, and his issues are addressed multiple times and left to fester rather than being fixed immediately.

HOWEVER

I think the whole fire being a complete accident dumbed him down a lot. For all the buildup of him being selfish, it ended up thrown out the window because he genuinely had no malicious intent. Why is Barb so aggressive with him if it wasn’t his fault? Why did Fizz attribute it to being his fault with no actual basis. For all he knew, Blitzo could’ve been dead! 

His relationships with his friends, however, are much more interesting. He’s nosy and rude and frustrating to be around, but despite that they stick around. They care about him, but they also understand that he has many issues he refuses to address.

I have more thoughts but they focus on specific characters so I’ll save them for later. I like this guy a lot and I have too much to say about him.

Moxxie:

Moxxie is a great character! I think his backstory lined up nicely with how he actually acts (especially the “sir” bit. I thought that was clever, that he refers to men older than him, even his friends and people he dislikes, as “sir”)

I also understand his insecurities come from his father’s abuse and neglect.

HOWEVERRRR

I think his insecurities are too repetitive. He has THREE episodes where his insecurities need to be acknowledged and every time he goes back to the same shit. Unhappy campers was the first time Millie actually snapped at him over it and the first time it was addressed as hurting his friends (specifically his wife) just as much as it hurts him. He’s constantly needing to be picked up and reassured. Blitzo and him had a talk about his insecurities and yet. Unhappy Campers. And Harvest Moon festival hardly acknowledged his insecurities, however it did show some development at the end where he stood up to people he’d been scared to disappoint. But even then, he falls right back into it. Not only that, but he ended up getting hurt in the games because he insisted on proving himself to Millie. Millie’s never given him a reason to doubt she loves him. She’s so dedicated to him and yet they keep having this conversation.

I also don’t like how often his skills are underestimated by the narrative itself in favor of making Millie “tough” (and I’ll explain why I hate that in better detail when I get to her) and we only really get to see his skills a few times. On top of this, it undermines his role as the weapon guy. I like that he typically has a disadvantage in close combat, but even that’s not consistent! (He kills all those guys at the gas station without any real weapons) It’d be fine if him working on his close-range was actually addressed (instead of his insecurities being done for the 50th time) but it wasn’t, so it’s just. whatever.

I do like that he’s the most sympathetic out of all of them. It’s shown in the pilot first, where he’s visibly upset about hurting an innocent child (ofc he kills him later, but that's when he knows the kid clearly did something. Also he was rude to him.) Murder Family then shows it again, where he feels sympathy until given a reason not to (and even then, he still felt bad about it in the end) and it’s even shown when he was a child, sad to hurt someone he’d never even seen clearly before.

Also the fat shaming jokes aren’t funny especially when we’re supposed to treat it seriously when it happens to Fizz. Like, okay. Ur not funny.

His relationship with Blitzo is very fun as well, and I think it's funny that him being somewhat secretive about his personal life is a constant thing (He didn’t tell Millie about his family, and he doesn’t like Blitzo prying.)

Millie:

Buckle up it’s a woman so I have LOTS to say.

Viv has become kiiiinda infamous for how she treats her female characters, and unfortunately Millie is one of the worst examples.

She has very little depth. Everything I have thought out about her is inferred. I like that she doesn’t have a tragic backstory, but I think it’s weird that she seems to have several conflicts with her family that aren’t addressed.

So, I’m starting with the Inferences I’ve made.

She probably didn’t get a lot of spotlight because she has several siblings (Inferred from Unhappy campers, where she says she likes being in the spotlight for once)

Her parents, while they do love her, are very judgemental and strict based on the ending of Harvest Moon Festival, where her mother scolds her for getting hurt and Moxxie snaps at her.

And She’s competitive, based on her being banned from the games.

All of these things could’ve been easily put in if they’d focused on her instead of Moxxie’s jealousy in Harvest Moon. (Which ended up being unnecessary? It just showed us how whiny he can be tbh… And set up a rivalry against Striker that is brought up once after)

Her whole personality revolves around Moxxie. The Episode about her family revolved around Moxxie. The episode about Moxxie’s family revolved around Moxxie. Every episode about her revolves around her relationship with Moxxie. The one time she goes on a mission separate from him, it’s because he’s tied up and the episode hardly focuses on her even then, because it’s all about Blitzo and Moxxie.

This ends up affecting Moxxie’s character as well. He gets his character undermined by her being the “tough wife” because that’s her only notable trait. And it ends up affecting both of them and making it annoying to watch.

Also she has. Like. Zero genuine interactions with Blitzo. Which is a more personal nitpick but it’s still annoying. I think the only one is the one in Truth Seekers.

Also, it’s very easy to forget that Millie dated Chaz too, because we never find out why she dated him at all, or why she broke up with him. He clearly made her incredibly angry to hold a grudge for this long, but it’s all thrown out because then she suddenly only hates him because he betrayed Moxxie.

When she… Already hated him???? It’s lazy writing and pathetic.

I do like Unhappy Campers, though, and I hope the development in that episode sticks.

Loona:

GOD IM GONNA SOUND LIKE A BLITZO ASS KISSER BUT SHE PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH.

First things first, I don’t like that HER backstory was treated like a traumatic memory for BLITZO. That was dumb. Fuck off. And then it was turned into Stolitz fuel which. God.

Loona is another basic tough girl but she’s also a MEAN GIRL!!! YAAAAY…

She’s horrible. For someone who seems to “secretly care” about Blitzo, she sure does make his life kind of suck.

I could see not liking him. He DID walk into her life and place himself as her father. He’s overbearing and babies her, I GET THAT!

But she’s ridiculous. She has a whole conversation with Via about how she should forgive her dad because he does care about her and then goes and is a bitch to Blitzo again. For no reason. And then she does that stupid fucking side smile like “awww she loves that he was worried about her” i dont care actually. Its not funny and it’s dumb as hell. 

Also Blitzo’s self-loathing is an issue Loona knows about better than anyone. She goes home with him and sees him cross himself out of photos. She knows he sleeps on the couch instead of taking the only room. She knows he loves her, and hates himself, and yet she doesn’t make any effort to be kind to him. The most she does is take him home when he’s drunk. But only after getting defensive when Bee asked her to maybe help him out. She made that situation about HER. Like Bee was attacking HER. WHEN ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO HELP BLITZO???

We know very little about Loona and it’s hard to sympathize with her when all we see is her being horrible to Blitzo who is flawed but trying his best.

Her aggression could be great if it was handled well, (like at the party! I liked how she was with people, it showed off who she is) but with Blitzo it feels like she has soft moments just to have them, while having very little proof she actually cares about him.

It makes her just an add-on to Blitzo and a joke. She has potential.

I’m hoping the show will clean her up a bit later on. I don’t think I’ll ever really like her, but she has potential and I DID enjoy the Queen Bee episode.

Stolas (and his family, in a way. But Stella will get her own part when I critique a few of the villains):

Technically not a main character but eh I have things to say about him.

His writing is very lazy and very. All over the place.

It’s clear they don’t want him to be hated, but in preventing that, they remove any nuance in his relationships

Stella is just an evil bitch with 0 depth to her at all and Stolas is the poor sad husband who was forced to marry her. So cheating is okay.

I actually do think he’s at least a little justified in cheating on Stella in the context the show gave us. I just think that context is lazy and he shouldn’t be justified because it removes depth from both him and his relationships.

Also, he hardly ever starts fights with Stella and it’s always Stella throwing shit around but Via acts like HE’S the shitty one? The line “Why does he hate her more than he loves me” could’ve been GREAT if we say ANY EXAMPLES OF THAT. He doesn’t scream at Stella like Octavia said he does. And she also says him cheating ruined their family but??? It’s implied Stella’s been abusive this whole time!?!??! LIKE WHAT R U ON ABOUT???

His relationship with Blitzo is nice actually. I enjoy the one-sided love and whatnot. However (and this is an issue more so with the fandom? But I feel the need to put it here)

We don’t talk enough about how Stolas abuses his power to be with Blitzo. Using the book as a way to get Blitzo to sleep with him WAS SHITTY but people don’t acknowledge that. Instead, it’s like Blitzo’s the bad guy for… Not being ready to reciprocate Stolas’s feelings????

I just. I think Stolitz is waaay too complicated for how the fandom treats it and if they just. Get together next episode I’ll be pissed.

Stella:

Not a whole lot to say. She just has very little depth. And it’s not just that (bc, all in all, characters like Crimson and Mammon also have very little depth) she’s just made to be unlikeable???

Like she’s meant to be an annoying whiny bitch… Without anything about her you can really like. Which is bad writing.

(GOD VIV MADE VALENTINO MORE LIKABLE THAN STELLA FFS)

She has zero character outside of Stolas despite being a villain. Compared to Mammon (who so far has only been in one episode and is still more likable) and Crimson (Whos character doesn’t revolve around Moxxie) she’s boring.

Crimson has a lot more going on. He has his wife, he has a whole mafia, ect. He’s got a lot going on that people (me) are excited to explore.  He’s very greedy (He’s in the greed ring, after all) and he’s very persistent.

Mammon is made out to be as likable to the characters IN UNIVERSE as possible, while making comments clearly meant to be a dig at very real, greedy people. He’s portrayed as a nice guy who’s not actually nice. But not in a “he’s secretly mean” way but in a “he's very clearly mean he just says it with a good attitude”

Remember that these two have had two and one episodes respectively since being introduced. Stella’s been here since the PILOT and she has zero extra traits aside from spoiled brat and abusive wife. We know nothing about her. How did she grow up? How did she feel about getting married to Stolas? How is she with Via? (Since Via’s NEVER TALKED ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOTHER)

Also I hate her stupid brother. He literally exists to take any interesting villain traits away from her. I hate him so much.

Now I want to talk about relationships yaaaay

Millie and Moxxie I’ve already talked about thoroughly, and I’ve talked about Stolitz, so I want to discuss Blitzo with Verosika and Barb, as well as Fizz and Ozzie. (I’ve already said all I have to say about Blitzo and Fizz, that being that I think the circus situation being an accident is dumb)

I don’t think there’s much more to talk about aside from those? I dunno.

Blitzo and Verosika:

another example of shitty female writing but it’s not the WRITING exactly, it’s the presentation.

We meet Verosika and she’s IMMEDIATELY made out to be a massive bitch. Despite the fact that Blitzo fucked her over and admitted to it (and had no argument against her that ever proved she sucked in that relationship??) but she’s still presented as being terrible.

I mean, one of the first things she does is assault Moxxie which really wasn’t a necessary scene. I hate it so much. (Add it to the pile of things not taken seriously just because it’s Moxxie bc in Hazbin we’re meant to take that seriously but okay)

She’s made to be as unlikeable as possible despite how often we’re told she’s been wronged by Blitzo.

Blitzo and Barb:

Blitzo and Barb is. Complicated. I think both are in the wrong as much as everyone makes it out to be one or the other. I think it’s because we were presented with it in a weird way.

Again, this would have more impact if the fire wasn’t 100% an accident, but oh well.

I think Barb is justified in not wanting to see her brother. He is a part of her trauma, and she doesn’t want to be reminded of it. Him hunting her down was pretty shitty imo but it doesn’t make him a horrible person. Just ignorant and insensitive. But all we see is Barb yelling at him over something we later learned WASN’T HIS FAULT. It makes it hard to discuss because did she know it was an accident? Where’s their dad? How’s she been? Things that will probably be answered later, but I felt like talking about it anyways.

Fizz and Ozzie:

I have a few complaints about these two that I wanna talk about but they are, aside from Chaggie, my favorite canon hellaverse ship. Also I have a few things to say about the fandom that irritate me.

I like the pipeline of “love is stupid and you should be after lust” to “wow maybe I’m in love” but we didn’t really get to see that? I mean it felt like they were already in love in Ozzie’s so it has less impact. Also we don’t hear a whole lot actually ABOUT the idea of Asmodeous being in love from the POV of others. We see ONE newspaper headline and Blitzo calls them hypocrites and then we’ve got Mammon saying that revealing his secret was a mistake but we have nothing to make us feel like that’s true.

Also, I don’t think Fizz is infantalized the way people say he is. Like. He’s just smaller than Ozzie. And the whole like “C’mon big daddy, pwease” thing was ironic guys cmon. They were meant to look like a lovey-dovey couple because they can’t be lovey-dovey in public, that’s the point. It was to show us how little their relationship actually revolved around lust.

Also I’m a sucker for the big and tiny ship dynamic it’s funny to me <3

I do think it’s stupid that Ozzie builds the dolls despite knowing how uncomfortable Fizz is with them, although I suppose it could’ve been Fizz who insisted it was fine. But still, they don’t expand on that at all. If you don’t like it, why’d you do it? It’s not like Ozzie needs to do what Mammon tells him. He’s a sin, just like him!

And a lot of ppl keep misinterpreting the scene where Ozzie tells Fizz he doesn’t have to leave. I saw some people saying “oh fizz looks upset! Hes upset Ozzie said that!” he was upset because he felt bad for worrying him. He looks sad before apologizing. That’s the point. And we know from the special that what Ozzie said didn’t even hold up! “Oh he asked Blitzo to guard him!” that’s not why he called Blitzo we literally KNOW that was an excuse. Blitzo just happens to also be good at guarding him.

I DO think Ozzie can be overbearing, but tbh if you write a relationship (especially between a deadly sin and his famous imp bf) there’s gonna be issues. It’s not gonna be perfect. You can tell they disagree on things (“I know you’re not big on the whole Mammon thing”) and that’s how relationships are.

I also think the Fizz stuff got shoved on us way too fast. I mean, before all we knew about him was that he had possibly known Blitzo and that he was famous. And he was in a relationship(?) of sorts with Ozzie.

And then suddenly we get his backstory and then we get his whole thing with Mammon within two episodes. I just wish there’d been more buildup? Hell, we know more about these two than we do about LOONA. Which is so annoying.

AAAANYWAYS There’s probably more I could talk about, but this is what I really cared about so. Eh. Thanks for reading!!!!!!!

[on-a-lucky-tide]

("Bees", a small dedication to the wonderful @quia-nominor--leo, who I only get to see in passing because they're busy saving animals and being awesome. Lambert & Ciri, hints of past Eskel/Geralt. Mention of teenage girl crushes that Lambert teases her about.)

“Hold the rod with your casting hand around the base of the reel—no, other hand, it’s your dominant hand, stop fucking around, yeah, there you go—“ Lambert curled Ciri’s fingers into place, bracketing her narrow shoulders as he adjusted the fishing pole, “put your index finger in front of the reel and wrap your others behind it.” There was about twelve inches of line, and Lambert had pain-fucking-stakingly shown her how to bind the bait in place. The princess was a quick study and he only had to walk her through it twice before she had the hang of it.

Ciri jutted her lower lip in concentration. “Like this?”

“Yeah, like that. Now here’s where it all comes together,” Lambert said, glancing over his shoulder. “Check behind you for obstacles. Once hooked a man’s trews clean off on the frontward swing.”

She chuckled. “No, that’s terrible.”

“Yeah, cock swingin’ everywhere, bad day for him to go native, right—“ Lambert slipped a foot back after tapping her heel lightly, urging her to follow, “point your rod where you want your line to go, swing the rod back—“ his voice hitched as he tugged the pole and made her arms lift, “behind your shoulder and then bring it forward in one fluid motion, and when we do—“ he held her fast as she tried to follow his words, “you’ll release your finger from the line at the peak of the swing, an’ off it’ll go into the briny deep.”

“Lakes are freshwater, Lambert.”

“Keep back-talkin’ me and the fishes will have something a whole lot nicer than mouse to eat, here we go, and—”

They moved together in one fluid motion, Lambert nudging Ciri’s index finger away just in time for the line to unspool. The whir of the reel ended with a satisfying plop as the baited hook hit the surface of the water. A respectable distance, not that Lambert would tell Ciri that. “Passable,” he sniffed, dropping into the creaky old chair he had dragged down from Kaer Morhen for their lesson.

“Now what?”

“Now, we wait. Don’t scare the fish off with your bellyaching.”

Ciri threw her hands up and flopped onto the folded blanket next to the chair. To her credit, she sat in silence for a good while. Lambert even managed to crack open one of the beers he had brought to pass the time, but soon the pointed sighing began, and the shuffling, and the—shit, well, Lambert knew what it was like to be a—how old was Ciri anyway? Nine, twelve? Difficult to tell. The mutagens made you age in a weird way. One minute you were baby-smooth, barely a hair on your jaw, next you looked like a crinkled ball sack. “Something on your mind, princess?”

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that,” she said haughtily, “I’m… I’m going to be a witcher.”

“A witcher, you think?”

“That’s what you’re training me for!”

“Yeah, about that,” Lambert took a swig from the ale and leaned forward, forearms sloping over his thighs, “the training’s all well and good, we’ll see you right, help you swing a sword like the best of ‘em, but being a witcher? That’s not a path you have to walk. Shit, you could go marry some mouth-breather in the north and have some crotch goblins of your own—”

“Urgh, no,” Ciri pulled a face, “I don’t think I even like men. Grandmama picked out one she thought was good, and he was fat, and ugly, and he smelled so bad.”

“Oh yeah, all men smell bad.”

“And they’re hairy.”

“So hairy,” Lambert conceded.

“And, and… sometimes not even in the right places? Like, their head.” She slid him a sly glance and he kicked her on the leg. “But I guess you think they’re smarter than girls?”

“Naw. I just say that to wind up Merigold,” Lambert took another swig of ale, “most people are dumb fucks.”

“Even Geralt?”

“Geralt is the dumbest of all fucks, never forget that.”

She looked a little deflated at that and Lambert knew he had stepped wrong. When they were training, she was resilient. She took his waspish corrections and bellowed commands in her stride, but in quieter moments she was vulnerable. Without the blood thundering in her ears, she had the time to listen to the voices of doubt and fear telling her to give up. Too difficult. Too dangerous. And while he never liked to miss an opportunity to take a punt at Geralt, he wasn’t quite settled with the idea of doing it at Ciri’s expense. So, he baited the hook.

“I can think of a few that might beat Geralt.”

Her ears perked at the prospect of a story. “Yeah?” Fish hooked.

“Oh yeah. I had a contract in Aedirn once. There was this peasant who’d dreamt that a swarm of bees had swarmed up his arsehole and given him a vision.”

“A swarm of bees?”

“A swarm of bees. Anal bees.”

“Anal bees.”

“Right, so,” Lambert continued, his smirk mirroring Ciri’s. “He says these bees—these bees have given him a vision concerning the iniquities of the local clergy.” He paused, letting her work the word over in her head rather than assume her ignorance. The poncy court education seemed to be good for something, because her eyebrows soon raised, imploring him to continue. “Local clergy claim he’s hexed. And what do you do when there’s hex fuckery afoot?”

“You call in a hedgewitch, or a witcher.”

“Correct. Yours truly happens to be in the area. I apply my not inconsiderable genius and I work it out.” He left a dramatic pause while he took another draw from the bottle. Almost out.

“Well?”

“Well,” he imitated her shrill intonation back, and her nose wrinkled at him. “Well, Cirilla, the local clergy had been partaking in the whorehouse three towns over. Not really a titanic-fucking-issue, hypocrisy of institutionalised religion isn’t something I really bother with most times, but they had upped their groundrent to subsidise their habit.”

“Ploughin’ bastards.”

“Language.”

Her mouth clicked shut.

“So, I tell the council that the visions were true. Bring a few of the girls over to point out their johns, and the priests are stripped of all their privileges. And I got to spend a night in a warm bed ‘cause Bum-Bee’s wife was ever so fuckin’ grateful to have him home.”

Lambert was pretty sure there was meant to be a moral to the story somewhere. Maybe something about not all dumb fucks being equal, or to not judge a dumb fuck book by its dumb fuck cover, or—

Well, fuck if he knew. This was Eskel’s department. You know, the whole educational story thing. Lambert was more… practical skills. Fishing, sword drills, alchemy. Those were his areas of expertise. He slid her a sideways glance to make sure she had been placated by the Anal Bees story, but sensed that there was still something bothering her. He weighed up ignoring it, putting it off until he could nudge her towards Eskel or Pretty Boy, but he had to ask, because she had that burdened look that tugged at something in his godsdamned chest. “There somethin’ else?”

“I lied,” she said.

“About?”

“I do like men,” she sighed, “I quite fancied Coën when I arrived. And—“

“Right, so what’s the problem then?” Coën was a good looking bloke, and Ciri hadn’t been the only one looking. Lambert had looked. He'd looked a lot and was batting around the idea of asking whether he could do more than look.

Ciri went red to the very tips of her ears and glared down at her hands.

“You don’t have to tell me, kid. But Merigold’ll notice if you go back lookin’ like you’ve chewed on a wasp and I could really do without that ballache, so—“

“I-think-I-like-girls-too.”

Somewhere in the vast space of lake and woodland before them, a fat toad jumped from a rock into the water, and the resounding plop filled the anxious silence. Ciri stared at Lambert with wide eyes, her lower lip between her teeth. Lambert nodded slowly. "Merigold?"

Ciri flushed an even deeper shade of red.

Lambert smirked. Oh, little cub had a crush on the pretty yet diabolical sorceress. Too funny. "Huh, Ciri and Merigold sitting in a tree—"

"Lambert!" Ciri squawked, shoving him hard in the shoulder. She had clearly been expecting this to go differently.

"What?"

"You can't tell anybody."

"Not even Eskel?"

"No! Or Coën, or—"

"Geralt?"

"Especially not Geralt!"

"You know, Geralt and Eskel used to dick about all the time. Like, literal dicks, you know—" Lambert pushed his tongue into his cheek and shook his fist next to it. Ciri's eyes nearly crossed.

"They—uh, I mean Geralt…"

"He was the Keep bicycle, he—"

"Lambert!"

"Yeah, alright, sorry, forgot you were a—"

"Girl?" She narrowed her eyes, accusing.

"I was gonna say princess, but, if the shoe fits."

She folded her arms, lower lip jutted in a pout. "You never take anything seriously."

Lambert looked at her sideways, taking a pause to swig another mouthful of beer. He got the sense he should have made a big thing out of it, maybe put his arm around her and told her it was all gonna be okay, like she had some kinda grave illness they should work through together. Lambert couldn't do that. It just wasn't in him to make promises he knew he could never keep. The best he could do was show that others had survived before her.

He drew in a deep breath, and puffed it out through pursed lips. "First man I liked was about two years out on the Path. About three or four summers older than me, broad, sandy hair, missing teeth, cauliflower ear, but he was the first person to show me kindness in… a long time."

She looked up quickly. "What did he do?"

"He gave me something to eat, sewed up my face," Lambert gestured vaguely at his eye, "then one thing led to another. Lasted a few years."

"What happened?"

"Smallpox."

"Oh." She frowned. "Lambert, I'm… I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I didn't—"

"People die, Ciri," he said. "Life's shit like that. The least we can do is find the decent bits that happen in between. They're… well, they're worth the bullshit, you know? And it doesn't matter who the fuck it's with. Man, woman. As long as they're old enough, and willing. And no hooves, horns… unless that's…"

She shoved him again, the chuckle spilling over a small smile, and he smirked back. They sat in silence for a bit, staring at the fishing lure bobbing on the wind-rippled surface of the lake. When she spoke again, it was with a wistful sigh. "Maybe I'll find someone when I leave for the Path. I think I'd want them to have all their teeth though."

"So shallow, princess."

Before she could respond, the fishing lure dipped and the reel began to whir. Lambert fell forward and grabbed up the rod in both hands, steadying it before passing it across.

"Easy now, tug, and wind, tug, wind, that's it! C'mon, Ciri, focus, don't get too enthusiastic, patience. Patience."

They landed an impressive looking fish, with glistening silver scales and sharp, blue fins. As the sun set, Lambert rustled up a small fire and cooked it in his mess tin, white flesh seasoned with a handful of herbs and a slab of butter. They talked through mouthfuls of food and dried tac, and then Ciri, like any young cub with a full belly, went and fell asleep on him.

With an irritable sniff, Lambert scooped her up as gently as he could and carried her up the slopes to the keep. She didn't even wake as Merigold put on her nightshirt, or as Lambert came back in to tuck the threadbare blankets around her bony frame.

"It suits you, you know," Merigold said softly as they closed the door behind them.

"What does?" Lambert asked, lips tilted down. You never knew what you were gonna get with witches.

"Your heart." And with that, she turned and floated down the dimly lit hall in a cloud of auburn curls and self-importance.

Lambert rolled his eyes and stalked off in the opposite direction.

Heart, pfft. Kaer Morhen had beaten the last of that out of him years ago.

[magpies-gold]

Character Age Meme - Henry/Heinrich I saw @painted-bees do this on her Tumblr for characters from her story, Hi-Note, and I wanted to take a shot at it with some of my main characters from Alpha Base: Heinrich, Errick, Elliot, and Paul. These are all going to be a challenge, but they're also good for figuring out what makes each character unique-looking. So first up is Henry/Heinrich. He had a rocky start to life and not an especially happy childhood. He was orphaned pretty early on, although no one in the base is entirely sure when or how. There's no record of him being born, nothing to trace him back to his parents, and no record of his being adopted, either. Even he doesn't actually know when his real birthday is. Nonetheless, he was taken in (off the record, it seems) by the Burdette family when he was very, very small, and named Henry. Whether their intentions were initially noble or not, without going into details, he ultimately wasn't treated very well. At all. When he was fourteen there was a rather dramatic series of incidents that resulted in him being orphaned again. Officially, there was a fire in his home, and he was the only survivor. He was then, rather surprisingly, taken under the wing of the base's commander, Christoph Rider, and placed with a new family, the Ricard family, but with a close eye kept on him by base command. To anyone on the outside, it seemed decidedly suspicious and pretty obvious that there was a lot more to the story than what was on record. Henry had been no one before that. Less than no one. Now he was Command's pet project. Henry wasn't in the best mental state after everything that had happened and his relationship with the Ricards was tense. They were a little afraid of him, he didn't have any desire to connect with them, and it just never really took. On the other hand, he'd since become close friends with Errick Rider, Christoph's son, and he started spending more and more time at Headquarters rather than home. He was introduced to the Archive - a massive library of every scrap of information, media, and documentation that had ever come through the base, both physical and digital - and there he found something to be passionate about. He picked up a love for reading, for learning, and exploring anything that had to do with the universe outside and their long lost homeworld of Earth. By age eighteen, he'd amicably parted ways with the Ricard family and was adopted by the Riders in every way but officially. He and Errick had become best friends, more or less brothers, and Henry was given the opportunity to join the command class and spend even more time at Headquarters maintaining the Archive. It was at eighteen that he decided he wanted to draw a line in the sand regarding his past and changed his name. He chose Heinrich. At twenty-two he became part of a team dedicated to creating further redundancies in the Archive after a storage failure resulted in the loss of great swaths of irreplaceable data. When Heinrich was twenty-three, he was involved with putting down a rebel uprising threatening the continued existence of the base, and sparked by the discovery of some very controversial top secret data among the Archives' records. Some of that information was stolen, and at least one of the rebel leaders vanished into the dangerous outskirts of the base. Heinrich spent the next almost twenty years hunting the rebels down, trying to recover the lost data and end the threat. He also met Elliot as a result of the rebellion. She was three, the daughter of two of the rebels, and someone who reminded Heinrich of himself when he was small. He didn't want her to have the same garbage upbringing he did as a result of being orphaned, and he developed a bit of a soft spot for her. When he's forty-two, the book itself begins.

[copperdaisy]

Yu-Gi-Oh! OC Week Day 6 - Full Circle [Substitute Prompt]

Full Disclosure: Duel Monsters era is the only YGO series I'm familiar with. By the time GX and the other series rolled around I was too busy with work to keep up with TV. I don't know the first thing about VRAINS. So, since the rules say that we don't have to do every prompt, I'm substituting "full circle" for Day 6's prompt.

This one takes place... long, long after every other piece I've done so far in this challenge. It glosses over a lot of plot details so I will gladly explain things if there are any questions.

(@ygoc-week)

Day 6 - Full Circle [Substitute Prompt] Word Count: 1,450 Characters: Sanura, Mahaad, Minkah Rating: G

The gardens surrounding the archives were Sanura's favorite hideaway. Tucked away in the roots of the giant fig tree that shaded the southern corner she was guaranteed privacy from all but the most observant visitors. She had been sat there for the last while watching a bee buzz from one vibrant pink flower to the next. A tightly bound scroll rested in her lap, untouched. She had brought it with the intention of adding to it but the task felt too monumental to tackle. Her fingers toyed with the gold tassel that tied it close. A voice whispered in the back of her head that perhaps it was best to leave the scroll as it was. She shared its contents with no one and she took no joy in updating it. So why continue to do it?

Because someone had to, she reasoned.

The bee finished its wandering through the flower patch and darted off for parts unknown. Sanura tracked it for as long as she could then sighed. If it could remain dedicated to its job then so could she. Plucking a goose quill pen from behind her ear she undid the sash of the scroll and unfurled it. A single line was all she added. A tally mark; nearly every inch of the papyrus was covered in them. There had to be thousands. She had started the scroll as a means to keep track of the days. Judging from the number of slashes she had been doing it for a long time. Somehow, she never seemed to run out of room on the parchment for one more mark.

Maybe the voice in her head was right. Maybe it was time to end the count. It did not fit in with the rest of her life here. It was a distraction, however slight, from all of the happiness and joy she had found here. Everywhere she looked there were loved ones: her parents and siblings, her beloved sons that she had left too soon. Their wives and children that she had never gotten to meet. The friends that had arrived after she did, some tragically early and others at more expected intervals.

And yet there were still missing pieces that no one knew how to find. They could only wait and have faith that those pieces would someday find themselves.

When the newest ink dried she carefully rolled the scroll up and retied the sash. She would keep adding to the count. It was as much her duty as making honey was for the bee. If nothing else it gave her a momentary outlet for an ache she could not put into words.

Rising to her feet Sanura paused to stretch and breathe in the sweet perfume of the flowers. If she dallied for much longer she risked running late for her lunch plans with Isis. Still she lingered for a few minutes longer to get her head together. Isis was the sharpest woman she knew and would pick up on her doubts if she didn't. A second deep breath and she finally moved from her spot under the tree. She was cutting things a bit close but the scroll needed to be returned to its slot on the shelf for her own peace of mind. The idea of having to start a new one was more demoralizing than keeping up with the current one.

Luck was on her side when she exited the archives through the main gate. There was a boat already at the dock waiting for passengers. The ferryman who manned it was different than the one who had brought her earlier in the day but just as pleasant. His chuckle when she requested he bring her quickly to Akhenamkhanen's palace made her wonder if she had ridden with him before. He waved for her to take her seat and promised to get her there as fast as she pleased. While he did not quite match that speed he still made the trip in the shortest time she had ever seen. She thanked him profusely and promised to send him something from the bakery for his expert service as she leaped from boat to pier with practiced ease. He shouted after her retreating form that no payment was necessary but she made note to do it just the same.

After her lunch with Isis, of course.

The path from the docks to the palace went through the heart of the city. The fastest route was burned into her memory but navigating through a busy market or three slowed her down. She sprinted through alleyways and side streets, dodging carts and startled citizens. The noise of the crowd swallowed both the insults thrown at her and the apologies she shouted back. By the time she saw the outer walls looming above the rooftops she had given up on apologizing. The guards at the gates let her pass without comment, though she swore she saw one of them roll his eyes. She couldn't even blame him for the response. It was not the first time she had been late for a meeting, and it would not be the last.

One day. One day, she would get better at managing her time. It had never been an issue before she came here but it was hard to keep a schedule when minutes could easily be as long as hours and the other way around.

She slowed to a brisk walk once she was inside. Combing her fingers through her hair she did her best to tame it. There was a better than good chance that she would be a disheveled mess when she met Isis no matter what she did. A visit to her quarters was out of the question. If she wasn't interrupted between the entry hall and the smallest courtyard she would be on time. She could make it. She would make it.

She was so caught up in the thought that she failed to hear voices coming from the side corridor ahead.

“Mother will be so happy to see you.”

Upon reaching the intersection Sanura turned right –

– immediately plowed into something solid and sharp. She bounced off of it with a surprised squeak and would have fallen if not for the two pairs of hands that grabbed her arms. One set belonged to Minkah. Looking up at him reminded her again of how tall he had grown as an adult. He quickly released her when he saw she was steady, his expression equal amounts startled and cautious as he glanced to the side. She followed his gaze to see the owner of the hands still holding her and – oh!

Those eyes. She would know those eyes anywhere. The headdress and armor were new, and there was more gold than she remembered in the accessories, but those eyes.

She raised a trembling hand. She reached out. Reached, but could not bring herself to touch. She did not trust her eyes. It had been so long, so long. Her chest swelled with a hope so feral it threatened to tear her to shreds. It couldn't be. It had to be. She had been so patient. What if she had gone mad?

Mahaad leaned his head into her palm and pressed a kiss to her wrist and she came undone. A sound not unlike that of a wounded animal slipped past her lips and she crumpled forward. Mahaad caught her, held her to his chest, murmured reassurances. All she could do was cling to him.

“You're here. You're really here,” she choked out.

“I am.” He brushed her hair away from her face and rubbed her back in soothing circles.

“It's been – ” She could not bring herself to say it.

“I know.” He hushed.

The shock gradually wore off and she found her footing again. Excitement replaced numbness and she greeted him as she had always envisioned she would: with a kiss that contained every bit of love, pain, faith and doubt she had held since their separation. Minkah awkwardly excused himself and drifted off to escape the raw display of emotion between his parents. When the two of them could finally stand to part and go in search of familiar faces they found a hastily put together welcome party being thrown in the main hall. Sanura could not help the way her eyes teared at the sight of Atem being swept up by his own family.

At long last the missing pieces had come home. Now, the Afterlife felt whole.

[flowersdaggersviolasandblood]

Flower Girl

Name: Pero Ophiin (She/Her)

Race: Wood Half-Elf

Class: Druid (Circle of the Land)

Background: Outlander

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!

Picking up where we left off, leaving Emerald Grove, we saved a Halfling being attacked by Goblins who are looking for a weapon. We then meet Edowin, Andrik, and Brynna.

Pero would learn a thing about the True Souls, but once revealed, and not reading the room and oblivious to the whole Absolute stuff (she didn't encounter Sazza in the prison); Pero claims herself not a True Soul. Which began combat between Andrik and Brynna. This would be, roleplay wise, Pero's wake up call as I like to think that she was given a pep talk about being discreet lol. Once again, Pero is honest, but her honesty could get her in trouble if spoken to the wrong person.

Pero was also able to resist the the urge to obtain the parasite inside of the dead Edowin. Because I wanted to get Karlach early, I made a bee line over to where she can be found. On th way there, Pero interacted with a Owlbear in a cave and discovered the hidden cache dedicated to Selune.

We also picked up scratch, and because Pero is a Druid with access to Speak with Animals, she had a brief conversation with the poor mutt, learning that his master died due to nearby Gnolls in the area (another thing to perhaps deal with). While traveling, Gale needed to consume a magic item because he was in need of one. Back in EA, this item had to be one of considerable power, not just any magic item. Now, in the full release, this could be any item that happens to have a cantrip/spell/or magical effect! So I gave up my amulet of Guidance since I have two characters (Shadowheart & Pero) who can easily cast this cantrip.

We finally got to Karlach and it was a no-brainer that Pero would vouch for Karlach to be spared. This, of course, led up to meeting Mizora and Wyll getting his transformation phase

I decided to recruit Karlach into the group (I'll be alternating between she and Shadowheart from time to time) and I THOUGHT I was tough shit to handle Anders and the "Paladins of Tyr," but then I discovered that they were lvl 5 lmao! So we're gonna get back to them later. I also got the Astarion bite scene with Pero, which she willingly allowed him to drink her blood (nearly killed her tho).

So we gotta gride for a bit so that we may handle those Paladins after Karlach. Let's see where that takes us :D!

[maryyyy8]

You are Summer. You are the Sun, The crashing waves on the shore of a beach, The lush, green leaves on the trees that line the street, As I walk past, And feel the warmth of the Sun seep through the gaps in the leaves.

You are Autumn. You are the leaves, rich in hue, The misty fog, The comforting decay. Jumping in leaf piles, wrapping my scarf tighter as the cold seeps in.

You are Winter. You are the deep night sky, The twinkling snow, The cosy, rainy days. Sat by the windowsill, listening to the tap tap tap of the rain, with a million stories to tell.

You are Spring. You are the brightly coloured flowers, The buzzing bees, The blue sky. A small seed planted in the middle of the yard, starting to sprout.

You breathe life into all I know, You bring colour to a canvas otherwise bland. You pick up the half-finished sketch, you dust it off, and you paint it into something new. Something better. You bring me to life.

Seasonal. A little piece of writing dedicated to all of my friends. I love you weirdos.

[chorusfm]

MORGXN – “BEACON”

Leading up to the release of his latest offering of music, called BEACON, MORGXN felt a burst of creativity. With over 100 songs written, this talented pop artist began pairing them down, to the ten most powerful and meaningful songs found here, with the help of producer Marshall Altman. MORGXN explained, “This album is a journey, and a reminder that we’re always on that journey. Where I’m at might be the end, but it’s actually the beginning.” This Nashville-based artist has transcended genre lines and has toured with noteworthy bands like X Ambassadors, Skylar Grey, and Smallpools, all of which he’s learned something along the way that he can put back into his own music. BEACON is a remarkable achievement of creativity that showcases MORGXN’s dedication to his craft. MORGXN takes the “journey” to heart on the title track that opens the LP, as he opens with “Where do we begin?” before exploding into a chorus meant for a bigger purpose, as he sings, “Sometimes we’re the boat, sometimes we’re the beacon.” “Backbone (It’s Not Over)” follows the lofty opener with a synth-driven beat and reminds me of the pop flair of Adam Lambert paired with the songwriting sensibilities of The Fray. What this artist does particularly well on songs like this is to make each note count, picks his spots for when to go into his higher vocal register, and paces himself appropriately in the delivery. ”Young & In Love” is a piano-laced mid-tempo track about the bliss of falling in and out of love, while still keeping the true heading of where to take his music next. “What We Could Be” is a tender ballad that features some backing vocals from a female singer who harmonizes gorgeously with MORGXN over the instruments. ”Modern Man” features a disco-type beat and mix that initially reminded me of The Bee Gees paired with The Killers. MORGXN switches from a croon to a falsetto with veteran ease as he commands the track from start to finish. “My Revival” features some gospel-esque moments to the song, and ended up being one of my favorite moments in the set. Whereas, lead single “To Be Human” paces itself brilliantly in the verses before leading to the meaningful chorus of, “It’s so hard to be human / Solo on a tightrope hanging / On a high note / Even somebody who’s got everything knows that / Falling apart is just part of the dream / So don’t wake me up until all of the winners are losing it’s / So hard to be human.” It’s a remarkable achievement in pop music to put your whole heart into a song and it ends up paying off big time. The final three songs never lose the early momentum gained, with “Fading” using the backing orchestra to tell his story, “Getting Older in a Modern Time” explaining his current state of mind as the world around us crumbles, and “Where I’m From” closing out this gorgeous chapter in MORGXN’s musical journey with a steady beat and a sensitive side to the lyrics to make him as relatable as anyone else. BEACON marks an important next step in the right direction for this MORGXN’s development, and he truly is on the cusp of making himself a much more popular artist with this album, and he completely deserves it. --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/reviews/morgxn-beacon/

[callmegkiddo]

GUESS WHO HAS A HUGE TEST THATLL TAKE ALL SAY TODAY! ME

where is my skeleton cuddles and cheesy pick up lines! i am out here perfect house husband material and IM IN SCHOOL! the outrage around here /lh

-bee

Idk which sans this is

But hes admiring your dedication and beauty

[fitzells]

okay so, i can explain!! it’s 1 am and i completely read this incorrectly, so it’s about the reader finding a picture of herself in his wallet because i’m an idiot! i was going to scrap it but i am just proud of myself for actually completing a blurb without giving up

so, i will be writing the actual request tomorrow because it’s so cute and adorable and makes a lot more sense than this and i can’t WAIT write it because 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 so fluffy man 🫶 but until then, enjoy this piece of work i am writing while very woozy on strong pain meds that ultimately makes zero sense! (posting this on mobile too because my dedication the craft is not enough for me to look for my laptop charger soz queens xxx)

“Have you seen my purse anywhere, Roos?” Your eyes dart around the living room, trying to retrace your steps.

“No, why d’you need it?” He shakes his head, glancing over at you from where he had collapsed on the couch.

“Uh, I need to go to the grocery store. I think a 6”1, 200 pound Navy fighter pilot raided my refrigerator.” You quip, smiling snarkily at the man in question. He grins as his eyes scan over your form, letting out a little appreciative hum.

You’re wearing that pretty little sun dress that drives him crazy, and he can’t say he doesn’t enjoy the way it accentuates the curve of your ass as you get on all fours on the floor, leaning down to check for your purse under the couch. You wouldn’t be surprised where it ended up, Bradley had an annoying tendency to just kick things on the floor out of his path; especially if he had been making a bee line for the couch, then he definitely wouldn’t pause to pick it up.

“What are you humming at, perv?” You question as you stand back up, rounding the couch so you were standing behind it, eyes once again scanning the room for the missing purse as you let out an aggravated scoff.

He laughs vehemently, his head tilting back against the back of the couch until he’s peering up at you from where you stand behind him. “Oh, just my breathtakingly beautiful wife.”

You scoff, a manicured hand coming down to absentmindedly play with his mess of curls as you tried to track down your purse. This will bug her all day, Rooster thought to himself, as he watched you scan the entire room over and over again.

“Wife?” You grinned. “Did I miss the wedding?”

He laughs again, your witticisms humouring him greatly, grabbing the hand knotted into his hair and bringing it down to his lips, pressing a kiss to the soft skin just below where your pretty engagement ring lay on your finger.

“Formalities, honey.” He tuts, and another hum slips from his lips as you bend down to press a soft kiss to his rosy lips. His mustache tickles your chin, your kiss slightly awkward, seeing as your face was leaning over his slightly uncomfortably.

His arm reaches up, hand knotting into your hair to keep you close to him as his soft lips work against your even softer ones. Your nose brushes against his chin as you reluctantly pull away, the ache in your lower back growing more and more every second you keep yourself in the awkward position.

You wipe at your mouth, giggling as you bring your thumb down to wipe at his chin. “You got a little gloss…. everywhere, Roos.”

He chuckles, wiping at his skin. “You can bring my credit card, if you want. I think it’s in my jacket pocket. I’ll look for your purse when you’re gone.”

You hum, annoyed at the fact your purse was still missing, but thankful for your fiancés generous nature. You squeeze at his muscular shoulder, before you’re walking into the hall to grab the wallet out of his coat pocket. “Thanks, baby; you’re a godsend. I’ll transfer you the money later.”

He sends you an incredulous look once you come back into the living room. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Pretty sure it’s my turn to go grocery shopping anyway, you need to stop doing my share of the chores for me.”

You chuckle, gasping dramatically before you open up his worn, leather wallet to grab his card. “What? And have my big strong fighter pilot fiancé be burdened with tedious household tasks that should be for civilians only? I would never!”

He shakes his head, having grown accustomed to your sarcastic remarks throughout your relationship, and anyway, you both know that he’s undoubtedly going to be the one making dinner and doing the dishes tonight.

“By the way, I feel like we should address the fact you’re totally sugar daddying me right now? I know it’s only groceries, but it’s still kind of hot.” You chide.

He mumbles something about how you have serious issues, and you're about to shoot him a quippy remark in response, until your breath gets stuck in your throat. Stowed away in the transparent pocket on the left hand side of his wallet, are two small pictures. One of his mum and dad, smiling happily at the camera; and another one of you.

You didn’t even know he’d taken the picture; you were on the beach, in the middle of laughing, probably at something he’d said, eyes looking over the camera, filled with nothing but love; so you were definitely staring at him. The picture had been folded at the edges so it would fit snugly into the pocket. Your heart melts, looking up from the wallet to stare at your fiancé.

He could feel your eyes on him, but his eyes didn’t move from the television; not thinking much of your gaze. “If you found the picture of me and my second family, I can explain.”

You don’t even laugh at his joke. You just clamber onto the sofa, your legs either side of his lap as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in tight to you. Ultimately, you don’t really know why you’re so touched by the picture. You’re engaged, it’s not overly unique to have a picture of your fiancée in your wallet. However, when you saw the photo, you just couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling of being totally completely adored and cherished by the love of your life. You felt so much love for the man, while you also felt incredibly loved by the man. “Hey, what’s all this about; you okay, baby?”

You nod, cupping his face into your hands as you shoot him one of the prettiest smiles he’s ever seen. “I love you. So much. You know that, right?”

He nods, a bemused grin painting his face as he laughs. He is completely lost, unsure of where this all came from, but he graciously accepts it anyway. “I know, honey. I love you too.”

[look-at-the-soul]

The Photoshoot (Part 15)

Cillian Murphy x OC

Previous parts here

♥️ It’s super late but I didn’t want to go to sleep without posting this part… you wanted them to solve this? I listened 🤗🥰 I will leave the smut to your imagination this time, because next part is 🔥🔥🔥

Yael made a big effort to not run into his arms, she was surprised to see him there.

“Just listen to what he has to say alright?” Lee-Anne asked Yael before getting up. “And don’t make a decision based on anyone else, the only thing that really matters is what you feel, what makes you happy.” She then turned to Cillian. “If you need help locking her up, just let me know.”

“I have been thinking about it.” Cillian began to explain. “I am going to be there for the baby, forever.” His words rushed, trying to make her understand. “But I can’t give up on you, on us.”

Lee-Anne motioned Vass and Dean to follow her to the kitchen.

“But I want to hear what they say.” Vass complained.

Dean popped his head behind the wall. “Me too.”

“You don’t have a pregnant ex-girlfriend, right?” Vass couldn’t stop the question.

Dean shook his head. “All clean.”

“Shh I can’t hear anything.” Lee-Anne tried to crack the door open.

Yael tried to wipe her eyes, she was a crying mess. She was surprised she could care so much about it to the point of being this broken.

“If you tell me you’re doing this because suddenly you don’t love me, I would let you go, any other reason isn’t valid.” When he got closer, she didn’t move back this time. “You’re always telling me the eyes are door to the soul, and right now all I see is you are willing to do the biggest sacrifice of love for a baby you don’t even know, and to me, that’s the worst thing you could ever do, but also the kindest and selfless.”

She gasped. He wasn’t letting this go, and neither the three spectators poking out their heads from the kitchen.

“I’m not going back with her no matter what you do or say, a child won’t solve our problems, I will make sure the baby has everything, I’m taking full responsibility for it, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be together, I just need to know if you are willing to do this, it’s all I ask… and I know it’s a lot.”

His words soothing her, clearing all of her doubts and worries, she understood a child was a responsibility for the rest of his life, and she had seen firsthand how dedicated Cillian was to his work, it wasn’t the same but it surely was a reflect of who he was a person, of the man behind the character. And those last days without his love, without his smile had been the worst of her life.

Cillian pulled her down to sit on the couch, he seated on the corner of the table at the center, in front of her.

“I don’t want you to feel guilty over this, that relationship was never meant to work for the long run, getting back together just for the baby would be the worst idea, it would never work so forget about it… I’ve talked to my lawyer, said she is willing to make things easy for everybody, and they are taking care of everything.”

She was finding it so hard to form words, everything around her was so blurry. The only two things that she was sure of were; first she loved him more than anything in the world, and second she couldn’t imagine a life without him.

He could feel the beat of his heart in his ears, this would define their situation and he was running out of time. Looking at her, he raised his eyebrows.

“And you really have two choices here; you can either walk back home with me, or I’m picking you up on my shoulders all the way back and you will have to pay for the bill at the doctor and probably a lawsuit from the BBC because I have a contract and I shouldn’t be doing anything ‘risky’.”

He raised his eyebrow again and his hands moved as he spoke, letting out the breath he had been holding. His words hypnotizing her, Yael felt like she could follow him in a bee-line anywhere.

“I’m not trying to sound selfish, I’m sorry to put you into this I know I shouldn’t do it but I can’t help it, would do anything for you to be there with me. You have given me the best days of my life, I admire the love you have for your work more than anything, the way you find beauty in everything… but… but… it will tear me apart if you choose to end our relationship, yes this is far from the ideal and things won’t be easy…” he wasn’t ready to let her go. “All I’m asking is if you want, we can make this work, I don’t have it all figured out, but I know it will be better if we are together. I love you with all I have, and I need you in my life… it’s just I don’t want to lose y-” his voice broke down.

Looking at the floor his heart was beating so fast, he was embarrassed of his nonsense rambling, but he meant every word he said.

He felt right in the middle, between the woman he loved and an unborn love he still had yet to discover.

His fingers were intertwined above his knees as in a silent prayer he didn’t know he was doing.

He poured his heart to her just like he had been doing the last couple of weeks. Opening to her was so easy.

He had been waiting by the phone when he got his first role in an independent film, this waiting felt like that, but at the same time it was different, this was a major turning point in his life. If Yael decided she didn’t want to be part of his life anymore, he would have to pick up the pieces from the floor and leave her apartment as soon as possible…

He closed his eyes tightly.

All of her fears, gone. Yael felt all kind of emotions running through her at the same time. She didn’t know how it would work, but she just knew it would.

They were all right, if she didn’t took this opportunity to be happy, it might never show up again. Just the thought of not seeing Cillian broke her, how would she be able to go on without him?

Her soft hand landed on top of his and her thumb caressed his knuckles. Maybe he was just daydreaming, hoping she was actually doing it, perhaps he wanted her touch so bad that even now his mind was playing games with him.

Opening his eyes, he found her hand on his, it was really happening. Moving slowly his eyes up, Cillian found Yael looking at him, there were tears in her eyes and a small smile decorating her face.

“I came here with a speech and thousand questions and now, all I can think of is how lucky that boy or girl will be to have you as a father. And how I don’t have money enough to deal with a lawsuit, so unless you want to visit me in prison, I choos-”

But he didn’t let her finish. Cillian already picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist and his lips immediately found hers.

They both found their way back home. He could taste her tears on her lips.

Cillian pulled away a little just to check he heard her right. Her eyes shining.

“I’m going to be with you every step of the way.” Yael whispered caressing his face, leaning in for one more kiss. His arms tight around her, holding her in place. Both of them couldn’t help the big smile that spread on their lips.

Vassilis, Dean and Lee-Anne came out of the kitchen cheering.

“Finally, you made her come to her senses.” Vass declared.

Lee-Anne leaned against Dean. “I was planning locking the front door.”

Once Yael was on her feet one more time, but Cillian wouldn’t let go of her. She could only think of this situation making their relationship stronger, how they would grow together.

She knew she wanted this to work more than anything in the world, and she would do everything in her power to make him happy, to help him.

****

Cillian was turning in bed, unable to settle, he didn’t feel like sleeping. Had so many things going on his mind.

Changing his position, he stared at the ceiling, his arm up in the pillow on top of his head.

“Can’t sleep?” Her sweet voice asked.

Rotating his head to his right, he found Yael, looking straight at him. She looked so beautiful with the moonlight accentuating her features.

Cillian smiled at her, his index finger tugging her nose.

“No.” He beckoned his hand at her. “Come here.” Yael approached him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Neither can I.”

Sighting, Yael thought of the important decision she made, and the impact it would have in their lives. This wasn’t a pair of broken shoes you get rid of at some point, it was a baby, a compromise for the rest of their lives. And she would always see that child not as a step son or daughter, Cillian’s baby would be more a like bonus child for her. That baby would be half of the man she loved.

“My mind is going crazy with so many things happening.” He lifted the sheets to cover her shoulder, then his hand rested on the curve of her waist.

“Don’t worry, things will find a way.”

After a few minutes in silence, he finally admitted: “I was so fucking scared of losing you.”

Yael touched his chin, applying some pressure to make him look at her. “But you didn’t, so scratch that from your list.”

Cillian kissed her forehead, grateful she was there, next to him.

“What would I do without you?”

Yael smiled and held his gaze, he was constantly frowning, so worried. She wanted to see him smile. “You would be bored and lonely. Making bad decisions.”

“I thought one was enough?” He chuckled.

“What else?”

“This is not the way I had in mind about having kids.” His eyes returned to the ceiling.

“But it is the way it’s happening and there’s nothing you can do now.” Her tone was soft, like she always talked to him. “So, scratch that too, it’s too late.”

“Don’t know how I will manage the situation without being married.”

“One word: lawyers.” She patted his chest. “Get some kind of arrangement in paper. Next.”

She was right, he had been thinking about it, some kind of prenup without the nuptial part.

“What about education? Values? Family time, vacations, Christmas…”

“The baby is still cooking in the oven, don’t worry about that now.”

“I’m scared.” He swallowed hard.

Lifting up on her elbow to look at him she found it in his eyes, there it was the fear.

Everything was so easy with her; the uncomfortable talks, the deep thoughts, expressing his biggest fears, he was able to be totally open and transparent with her.

“Cill no, these things happen all the time, it might seem like right now everything is at it worse, but it won’t be like this forever.” She made him sit on the bed. “You will be a great father…”

“I don’t know how to be a dad.” His thumb caressed her hand in an attempt to calm his nerves.

The way she saw things in a practical way and tried to find a solution to all of his problems made him think how fucking lucky he was that she chose to stay by his side.

“It’s not the same, but almost… look at Scout.” He covered the hand she had on his chest. “This is your training, you have to entertain him, look after him, feed the little monster, take him to the dogtor*, pick up the things from the floor so he won’t eat it… the only difference is a dog bark and a kid cries, but you just learned the basics.” She winked. “Your level one training is complete.”

That made him smile. She was right somehow.

“But don’t tell anyone that I compared your baby to our dog because you are going to have to bury me.”

He couldn’t help the laugh, his chest felt lighter.

“Speaking of dogs… where’s Scout?” Yael pointed behind her legs, curled as a little fluffy ball against the back of her tights, his breathing calm. Scout went crazy when he saw her enter the apartment, jumping excitedly, tail wagging like a helicopter.

“Now I’m hungry and I can’t sleep, so come to the kitchen with me and warm me some milk to have a slice of cake?” They didn’t eat and as soon as they made it back to her apartment, went straight for desert, so they skipped dinner as well.

Getting up, they went to the kitchen, got the milk warm while she cut a slice of the pastries Vass brought, there was a lemon tart, and a traditional bread, with Milky Way icing, it had little pieces of chocolate with cream cheese.

“This isn’t milk.”

“It’s almond milk, vegetal.”

“Since when they milk an almond?”

Her laugh filled the room, his heart.

It was almost two in the morning and Yael was doing her usual happy dance while eating some cake, a messy bun at the top of her head and a smile on her lips.

He wanted, no, more like needed that image in his life every night.

He would be forever grateful with her for this. For supporting him when he needed it the most, for making the choice of being by his side.

Yael looked at him, taking a bite with his fork, encouraging her to eat it, with her mouth full, she crashed her lips against his, just a little peck, her legs around his waist holding Cillian close. Knowing she made the right choice.

Love or a relationship it’s not always about the sex, it’s about the support you need when your world is falling apart, it’s about someone who can make you laugh when your mind is full of problems. Love It’s someone who is willing to take your hand when you have doubts and show you the way.

It’s someone who won’t have the answers all the time, but will happily wait with you lying on the floor until the storm passes, or in the kitchen bar eating a slice of cake at two in the morning.

[on-a-lucky-tide]

For the WIP game, can I ask about these three?

- Gaetans origins

- Bees

- Hillfolk

I will get to my WIPs when on my laptop this evening ❤️

The other two have been asked by others, so you get Bees, dear Tricky. This will be an eventual dedication to the lovely @quia-nominor--leo, who regularly sends me the best book snapshots (one of which was the foundation to this snippet) and wolf photos. This is Uncle Lambert with Ciri.

“Hold the rod with your casting hand around the base of the reel—no, other hand, it’s your dominant hand, stop fucking around, yeah, there you go—“ Lambert curled Ciri’s fingers into place, bracketing her narrow shoulders as he adjusted the fishing pole, “put your index finger in front of the reel and wrap your others behind it.” There was about twelve inches of line, and Lambert had pain-fucking-stakingly shown her how to bind the bait in place. The princess was a quick study and he only had to walk her through it twice before she had the hang of it.

Ciri jutted her lower lip in concentration. “Like this?”

“Yeah, like that. Now here’s where it all comes together,” Lambert said, glancing over his shoulder. “Check behind you for obstacles. Once hooked a man’s trews clean off on the frontward swing.”

She chuckled. “No, that’s terrible.”

“Yeah, cock swingin’ everywhere, bad day for him to go native, right—“ Lambert slipped a foot back after tapping her heel lightly, urging her to follow, “point your rod where you want your line to go, swing the rod back—“ his voice hitched as he tugged the pole and made her arms lift, “behind your shoulder and then bring it forward in one fluid motion, and when we do—“ he held her fast as she tried to follow his words, “you’ll release your finger from the line at the peak of the swing, an’ off it’ll go into the briny deep.”

“Lakes are freshwater, Lambert," she said primly.

“Keep back-talkin’ me and the fishes will have something a whole lot nicer than mouse to eat, here we go, and—”

They moved together in one fluid motion, Lambert nudging Ciri’s index finger away just in time for the line to unspool. The whir of the reel ended with a satisfying plop as the baited hook hit the surface of the water. A respectable distance, not that Lambert would tell Ciri that. “Passable,” he sniffed, dropping into the creaky old chair he had dragged down from Kaer Morhen for their lesson.

“Now what?"

“Now, we wait. Don’t scare the fish off with your bellyaching.”

Ciri threw her hands up and flopped onto the folded blanket next to the chair. To her credit, she sat in silence for a good while. Lambert even managed to crack open one of the beers he had brought to pass the time, but soon the pointed sighing began, and the shuffling, and the—shit, well, Lambert knew what it was like to be a—how old was Ciri anyway? Nine, twelve? Difficult to tell. The mutagens made witchers age in a weird way. One minute you were baby-smooth, barely a hair on your jaw, next you looked like a crinkled ball sack like Vesemir. “Something on your mind, princess?”

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that,” she said haughtily, “I’m… I’m going to be a witcher.”

“A witcher, you think?”

“That’s what you’re training me for!”

“Yeah, about that,” Lambert took a swig from the ale and leaned forward, forearms sloping over his thighs, “the training’s all well and good, we’ll see you right, help you swing a sword like the best of ‘em, but being a witcher? That’s not a path you have to walk. Shit, you could go marry some mouth-breather in the north and have some crotch goblins of your own—”

“Urgh, no,” Ciri pulled a face, “I don’t think I even like men. Grandmama picked out one she thought was good, and he was fat, and ugly, and he smelled so bad.”

“Oh yeah, all men smell bad.”

“And they’re hairy.”

“So hairy,” Lambert conceded.

“And, and… sometimes not even in the right places? Like, their head.” She slid him a sly glance and he kicked her on the leg. “But I guess you think they’re smarter than girls?”

“Naw. I just say that to wind up Merigold,” Lambert took another swig of ale, “most people are dumb fucks."

“Even Geralt?”

“Geralt is the dumbest of all fucks, never forget that.”

She looked a little deflated at that and Lambert knew he had stepped wrong. When they were training, she was resilient. She took his waspish corrections and bellowed commands in her stride, but in quieter moments she was vulnerable. Without the blood thundering in her ears, she had the time to listen to the voices of doubt and fear telling her to give up. Too difficult. Too dangerous. And while he never liked to miss an opportunity to take a punt at Geralt, he wasn’t quite settled with the idea of doing it at Ciri’s expense. So, he baited the hook.

“I can think of a few that might beat Geralt.”

Her ears perked at the prospect of a story. “Yeah?” Fish hooked.

“Oh yeah. I had a contract in Aedirn once. There was this peasant who’d dreamt that a swarm of bees had swarmed up his arsehole and given him a vision.”

“A swarm of bees?”

“A swarm of bees. Anal bees.”

“Anal bees," she whispered in awe.