#decorating trends 2021

[nmotypdfsfg]

[buckymorelikefuckme]

and baby makes three

(the reboot)

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 11.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** friends to lovers, pining, smut, oral (f receiving), breeding kink, pregnancy kink, cockwarming (kind of??), trigger warning for having troubles with getting pregnant. it's still super fuckin soft despite all of that though, i swear.

a/n: okay so it's currently 6am as i'm typing this and i haven't been to sleep yet bc i decided to just heavily edit this instead of rewrite it bc i'm lazy i guess idk. this was posted originally back in 2021 i believe and it's still on ao3 it's just orphaned rip. i promise i'll be writing and posting new stuff soon ok pls have faith in me and cheer me on bc it's hard and scary and i don't wanna disappoint anybody :( ANYWAY, as usual, any and all mistakes are my own. if i've missed anything important pls let me know so i can correct it. feedback is encouraged (pls) and appreciated (i am begging...)

The idea of you having a child one day always seemed foreign and very unlikely. Sure, you liked kids well enough, but having one of your own…

It’s a thought that’s sat in a corner deep in your mind, buried beneath a million other impossible concepts; a thought that you’ve only ever glanced over and never gave your full attention, having ruled it out ages ago as something you just couldn’t—or wouldn’t—do.

And then, on a day like any other, it pushes its way to the forefront of your mind, making itself known and unwilling to leave.

You’re going into the clothing store to find a new cardigan after your most favorite one got eaten by the dryer. Usually you’re a single-minded shopper, walking into a store with tunnel vision and on a mission to get what you need and that’s it.

Today, however, you make the mistake of letting your eyes wander on your way to the sweater section. Your gaze just so happens to land on the baby clothes… and your steps falter. It’s there that you see it, a tiny, pink onesie with a sleeping teddy bear printed on the front, displayed on an even tinier hanger. There’s matching pants with teddy bears all over them and ruffles on the butt and all your brain can muster up is cutecutecutecutecute.

Your feet carry you closer and before you realize what you’re doing you pick up the outfit, letting out a coo when you realize the teddy bear is fuzzy, softly rubbing your thumb across it. Somehow, you walk out of the store, not with a new cardigan, but with the cute baby outfit and a bow you thought looked adorable with it.

It’s not until you get home that it hits you, that you bought baby clothes for a baby you don’t even have.

The feeling that rushes through you is hard to describe. Shame? Embarrassment?

...Yearning?

No. Definitely not. Nope.

There’s absolutely no yearning going on here, not for a baby. You’ve never even had that desire before and you certainly don’t see yourself having it now. You shake your head to clear it, telling yourself you’ll take it back tomorrow.

Except you don’t take it back. You conveniently “forget” and it stays shoved on the top shelf in your hall closet. You pretend you don’t pause in front of said closet throughout the following days—weeks—chewing on the inside of your cheek and staring at the door like you can see through the wood at the evidence of your impulsive purchase.

It gets harder to ignore, though, when you start getting ads for baby clothing brands. And baby toys, bottles, handy little gadgets for new parents, nursery decor… It’s endless.

Then, as if it wasn’t already bad enough, all of your childhood friends start popping out babies like it’s a brand new trend. You don't think you've seen your social media this flooded with pregnancy announcements and baby arrivals, ever. Your emotions are mixed; happy for them, and for their excitement, but there’s also a weird discomfort settled in your stomach.

You hesitate to be that person who thinks the universe is trying to tell you something, but you do wonder. Why else would you suddenly have these feelings? Why else would there be baby stuff everywhere you look now?

It brings on other thoughts, as well. In this day and age, it’s not too unusual for women to have babies without being married, or without a significant other at all. There is the pressure, still, to at least be in a relationship, but considering you’ve been practically in love with one of your closest friends for the last two years, it’s safe to say that you’re tragically single, so having a baby with someone is out of the question.

And god, do you even want a baby?

As soon as the thought crosses your mind, with a sudden clarity that hits you like a ton of bricks, you realize you do. It feels like a freight train has slammed into you. Your mind’s eye supplies you with images of a swollen belly and wide smile, a precious baby wrapped in a soft blanket, cradled in your arms, a gummy grin and happy giggle.

Emotion consumes you then, longing like you’ve never felt in your life, chest aching with how badly you want that.

It’s not as if you’re too young. You’re plenty old enough and you’ve got a secure job. You don’t subscribe to that whole biological clock nonsense, but you do feel that if you are going to potentially have a baby, it might be better to do it now while you’re still in relatively good health.

You groan, dropping your face into your open palms, the movie you'd been watching to try and distract yourself long forgotten as it continues to play on the television.

This is a lot to think about, you ponder to yourself. Taking a deep breath in and releasing it slowly, you decide the mature thing to do is give yourself more time to ruminate on it. Having a baby is no small decision. You need to be absolutely certain it’s what you want. It’s going to change your entire life, everything, and you’d be responsible for a new life. So, you’ll have to give yourself a few months to decide and then you can go from there.

***

You’re scrolling through yet another article on your laptop, engrossed in every detail of the process of artificial insemination and the symptoms and side effects that come with it. So engrossed, in fact, that you don’t hear the key turning in the lock, the door opening and closing, and the heavy footfalls that follow.

It’s only when Bucky asks, “Whatcha reading?” that you are even aware of his presence.

You startle so hard that your knee slams into the underside of your table. Ignoring the throbbing pain in your knee and your wildly beating heart, you close your laptop with a snap and turn to Bucky.

“You could knock,” you grouse.

“Why give me a key, then?” he retorts, unapologetic.

You roll your eyes and grumble under your breath, “Clearly, it was a mistake.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

Brows furrowed, you ask, “What?”

He gestures to your laptop. “What were you reading? Your nose was nearly smushed against the screen.”

You blink, trying to think of a reasonable excuse and coming up empty.

“Nothing,” is all your brilliant mind can supply.

Bucky’s eyes narrow for a few seconds, and you pray to every higher power and all that is holy and good that he won’t press further. You remain frozen under Bucky’s suspicious stare, hearing that Old West shootout music playing in your mind.

Thankfully, it seems the deities are feeling indulgent, as Bucky chooses let it go.

He holds up the bags he carried in. “I brought lunch.”

You perk up instantly. “Did you go to that one place—?”

“With the fried rice you like so much, yes,” he finishes for you, smiling.

“You’re the best,” you sigh, stomach rumbling eagerly.

“I know,” he replies, solemn and dramatic like the idiot he is.

He begins taking out the styrofoam boxes and chattering on about something dumb Steve did the other day, and you mean to listen, you really do. It’s just. That article is still lingering in your brain. There’s so many steps and hassles. Plus, it’s not cheap. It would be a hefty investment.

You’d only researched it because, after months of contemplating the pros and cons of having a baby, you determined the pros far outweigh the cons. But then the problem was: how to even make it happen.

Your first thought was that you didn’t think you’d let just any man come inside you, for many obvious reasons. You’d shuddered to think of it. Then there was surrogacy, which is admirable and wonderful, but you’d quickly dismissed that idea as you realized you wanted to actually carry the baby yourself. So that led you to artificial insemination. You weren’t sure how you felt about it yet. There was something a little too clinical about choosing a random man’s sperm to have injected into your uterus.

Bucky’s still speaking as he grabs plates and forks, unaware of your inner monologue. “And then he got Sam involved,” he’s saying, scooping out food onto the plates, “which, as you know, I always think is a dumb thing to do.”

“I want to have a baby,” you blurt, eyes widening at your outburst.

Bucky fumbles with the spoon, sending fried rice flying, muttering curses as he tries to catch it with no luck as it lands with a dull clunk on the table. The silence that follows is loud. It feels like your heart is in your throat as you wait for him to just say something, anything.

“This is… quite a mess I’ve made,” Bucky finally observes. His voice is a bit higher than usual. “Where’s your vacuum? Actually, do you have one of those mini ones? Or would Clorox wipes be better? You know what, I’ll do both.”

He nods decisively then turns an expectant look towards you. His eyes look a bit wild, but you wisely keep that to yourself.

Wordlessly, you direct him to your hall closet. You realize your error a second too late when he opens the closet and reaches for the vacuum on the top shelf, where the purchase you’d made months ago also rests. His fingers get caught in the plastic bag when he grabs the handheld vacuum and its contents spill out. He goes to catch them right away, but once it registers what they are, he lets go of them like they’re on fire and nearly drops the vacuum on his foot.

Heat has been steadily creeping up your neck, but now your whole body feels aflame with embarrassment. The two of you stare at the baby clothes lying unassumingly on the floor for a long moment, until Bucky quietly walks back to the table with the vacuum clutched tightly in his fist. He flicks the switch on and it whirs to life, sucking up the bits of rice scattered around the table.

There’s another lengthy silence after he turns the vacuum off and you're unable to find the right thing to say to break it. Bucky does it for you.

“So… You’re serious.”

You meet his eyes and sigh heavily. “Yeah.”

He blinks a few times before clearing his throat, schooling his expression carefully. “I didn’t realize you were seeing someone.”

You cough lightly and start picking the peas out of your fried rice. “Well, that would be because I’m not.”

“I don’t think I follow,” he admits slowly.

You sigh again, lowering your gaze to your lap. “Look, I’ve thought about this a lot, okay? I’ve given myself months to really make sure it’s what I want. I’m in a good place in my life to have one, Bucky, and I don’t want to feel pressured to wait until I might get married.” You lift your gaze to his. “I want to have a baby,” you repeat firmly. “And I don’t need a partner to have one.”

You’re not sure why you feel the need to defend yourself. It’s not up to Bucky what you decide to do. You don’t need his approval, or anyone else’s. Maybe it’s because, even though you know it's not true, it feels like you're making too hasty of a decision.

After a beat, Bucky amends, “Well, I mean… You do…”

“Oh my god, shut up, you know what I mean,” you groan as you smack his arm, glad that he's not calling you crazy or trying to talk you out of it.

He doesn’t even flinch, the jerk.

“Wait, so what were you reading when I got here?” he suddenly questions, brows furrowed.

“Nothing,” you say too quickly, guiltily.

“Let me see your laptop then,” he counters as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You flounder for a second, scoffing. “What? No!”

“It can’t be that embarrassing, just show me,” he wheedles.

“Absolutely not.”

“Let me see!”

“It’s private!”

“Don’t be a chicken.”

Your eye twitches. “I’m not a chicken.” Bucky smirks and before he can even open his mouth you interject with a finger pointed accusingly at his face, “Do not start clucking at me, Bucky. I’ll kick your ass,” you threaten, though it's weak and you're not the only one who knows it.

You glare when his smirk only widens. Slowly, he moves his arms like he’s gonna flap them like chicken wings.

“Ugh! God, fine! You wanna know what I was reading?” You open your laptop and slide it over to him, turning it to where he can read it. “There.”

Bucky scans the page, then scans it again, eyes flicking all over like it’s in a different language. His cheeks grow redder and redder as he reads and you get a small sense of satisfaction at the sight.

“Wow,” he mutters finally. “You’re turkey baster serious.”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“What?” he asks innocently.

When you make eye contact with him, you purse your lips to keep the laughter threatening to bubble out at bay, but the ever growing smile on Bucky’s face is hard to resist and you find yourself snorting a laugh that leads to uncontrollable giggles. Bucky’s laughing with you, his eyes crinkling on the sides. The tension you hadn’t realized you held in your shoulders loosens and you nudge his knee with yours in silent thanks.

“So,” he says after you've both calmed down.

“So,” you repeat, dragging it out, drumming your fingers on the tabletop. “I’ve been doing research, checking out all of my options, and while artificial insemination seems like the best choice… I don’t know, there’s just something too clinical about it,” you reply, voicing your concerns, “It doesn’t feel right. I know I said I don’t need a partner, and I don’t, but… Having absolutely no connection is weird.”

You shrug, waving a hand as if to say oh well, putting an end to the conversation, and pick up your plate to carry it over to the microwave. You reheat Bucky’s food while you’re up, and then you both start eating in comfortable silence. He gets halfway through his meal before speaking up.

“Have you… I mean, did you think about… I’ve heard that, uh. Some people ask another person…”

He trails off, clearly frustrated that he can’t just spit out what he’s trying to say. You think you understand what he means, though.

“I read up on surrogacy,” you say, biting your lip. “But I don’t think I’d want someone else to carry my baby.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean—I wasn’t suggesting, uh, that. Not that there’s anything wrong with it!” he rushes to say.

You tilt your head. “What did you mean then?”

“Well,” Bucky starts, stilted, licking his lips. “For the artificial insemination, have you considered… you know. Asking someone you’re close with?”

You frown, not following.

“For—for the sperm,” he clarifies, shifting in his seat.

“Oh,” you breathe, blinking rapidly, surprised as you think of how to reply. “Um. No? I wouldn’t even know who I could ask, to be honest. That’s quite the request, you know? Who would—“

“Me,” he interrupts, determined and cheeks flushed, “I would.”

Your own face heats. “Oh,” you say again, quieter.

You can say, with full confidence, that not once did it cross your mind to ask anyone to help you, but you especially would have never given thought to asking Bucky.

For a list of reasons, really, with “it’s Bucky” being right at the very top. Like—sure, yes, you’re in love with him, but after two years of no signs of reciprocation you’ve learned to stop dreaming, to stop hoping. If the attraction was mutual he would have shown it by now, right? And on top of that, his friendship means the world to you and you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it. You'd never forgive yourself if you ever managed to fuck up the one good, constant thing going for you.

“Bucky,” you start, slow and careful, “this… This isn't something you can just jump into. It’s something you should think about for a while.”

He contemplates that for a second. “You’re right,” he concedes with a nod. “But…” He purses his lips, glancing away for a minute before turning back to you, leaning forward. “Okay listen, this is important for you. It’s going to change your whole life. You said it yourself, not having a connection to the sperm donor feels wrong. You’re my best friend, alright? I—care about you. You should pick someone you can trust.”

He clenches his jaw after he finishes speaking. You sort of hate the way your heart both flutters and plummets at his words. It’s nice to know you matter to him, just not in the way you’ve wanted for too long.

And if you’re really honest with yourself, Bucky would be a great choice as a donor. He’s in great health, has strong features that would look wonderful on any gender. But would you be able to handle the repercussions of having his child? Would you be able to look at your baby and see those features without it sending a pang through your chest every single time? You can’t say for certain.

Yet, the chance to have that type of connection with him, selfishly, sounds too good to pass up.

“At least think about it for a few days,” you murmur reluctantly.

It’s the most acceptance he’ll get and he knows it. A smile blooms across his face and you have to swallow down the warring emotions rising within you.

***

With the amount of research you do on the subject now, it doesn’t take long for you to find out that there are at-home kits for artificial insemination that are much easier (and cheaper). It’s easy to settle on that, clicking on the info to order your kit with butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

You read through the instructions online and it all sounds simple enough, until you get to the part where it says that having an orgasm after injection helps increase your chances of conception.

Blinking, heat crawling up your neck, you read that step several times, hoping you read it wrong, but it doesn’t change.

You… You can’t masturbate with Bucky’s sperm inside you. That’s a line you refuse to cross.

And besides, he’s a healthy man in his thirties who exercises regularly and eats fairly healthy food! You probably—definitely—won’t need to take that step. It’ll be fine. Probably.

Once the kit arrives, you call Bucky and ask him to come over so you can explain the process to him. Since he’s only across the hall of your apartment building, he’s there a moment later, letting himself in with his key.

“Let’s make a baby,” is how he greets you.

“Hold your horses,” you reply, fighting back a laugh. “I gotta walk you through everything first.”

He plops himself down next to you on your couch. “Fine, fine. Go ahead.”

Squaring your shoulders, you begin telling him how it all works, and what parts he is key for. You speak through your awkwardness, avoiding eye contact, when you explain that he’ll need to masturbate into a clean, sterile cup. You leave out how it’s suggested for you to also masturbate, deciding it’s not pertinent information for him to know.

“When do we start?” he asks once you’re done.

“I have to take an ovulation test first to find out the best days for me to conceive, but once I do that we’ll be able to, um.” You gesture vaguely. “I’ll be able to do the injections.”

He nods. “Alright.” He looks at you then, taking your hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll be here every step of the way, okay?”

“I know,” you say, smiling. “Thank you, Bucky.”

“You’re welcome,” he returns softly.

“No, really, thank you,” you assert. “This is a lot to take on and I can never fully repay you.”

Bucky shakes his head. “I want you to be happy, and I can see that having this baby is going to do that. I’ll do whatever I need to do to ensure it happens.”

You pull him into a hug, willing yourself to not cry. You’re not sure he’ll ever understand what this means for you, personally, or that you’d ever find a way to express it. He’s giving you so much more than just a baby.

***

The first injection time comes and you find yourself fidgeting where you sit as you wait for Bucky to bring over the, uh… sample. You do your best to not think about what he’s doing in his apartment, to not think about exactly how he’s collecting his sperm.

Now is not the time, you mentally scold yourself. Get it together.

A timid knock at your door alerts you to his presence. The fact he’s knocking says a lot about his own level of embarrassment about the situation.

His cheeks are pink when you open the door. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi,” you return.

He clears his throat and lifts the small cup in his hand. “Here’s… well, you know.”

You gingerly take it from him, not knowing what else to say, but when he smiles somewhat crookedly and turns to leave, you find yourself asking, “Will you stay?”

Bucky’s steps pause. “Huh?”

“Will you—I mean… Would you mind staying?” You shift on your feet. “This is a big moment for me. I-I don’t want to do it alone.”

“Are you asking me to…?” He trails off awkwardly.

“Oh! God, no, I wouldn’t—no,” you assure, huffing a laugh, “I’m doing the injection, I just need a little moral support. That’s all.”

Bucky smiles. “Sure, I’ll stay.”

Relief floods through you. You step aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. He follows you to your bedroom and just before entering you stop in your tracks, nearly causing Bucky to bump into you.

“Um,” you mutter, turning to him. “You’ll have to, ah, sit out here,” you explain. “I have to be lying down…”

Understanding dawns on him. “Oh! Right, right, of course. Sorry.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m done,” you promise.

He nods and watches you close the door. You walk over to your bed and sit down, glancing at the syringe you’ll be using and biting the inside of your cheek.

This is it. There’s really no going back after this. Sure, you may not get pregnant the first time, but Bucky’s already said he’d help you for as long as it takes. It’s just… very real now. You don’t feel any doubts, though. You want this.

Inhaling a large breath and slowly letting it out, hands shaking, you take the lid off the cup and pick up the syringe. You remember the instructions, making sure there’s as little air sucked in as possible when you draw out the semen, and getting rid of the few air bubbles that you see. You grab your pillows and lie down, propping them beneath you to lift your hips.

“Here I go,” you mumble to yourself, taking another deep breath and releasing it.

A couple minutes later, the syringe is empty and you’ve got your legs pulled up to your chest. You cover yourself with your blanket and call out Bucky’s name.

“You okay?” you hear through the door.

“Will you come here, please?” you ask.

He walks in cautiously, making sure you’re decently covered before entering fully, wisely not commenting on your position. “Well?”

“I did it,” you whisper.

He stays quiet, letting you parse through your thoughts. You blink when you feel tears threatening to gather in your eyes. He’s beside you in an instant, crawling in the bed and lying down, taking your hand in his.

“Congratulations,” he says softly.

“Don’t congratulate me yet,” you reply, sniffing and wiping at your eyes.

“Still,” he presses. “You’re one step closer now.”

He pulls your hand up and kisses the back of it. You give him a watery smile. The two of you lay there in silence for a moment before Bucky breaks it.

“This isn’t how I pictured myself making a baby.”

It startles a laugh out of you and Bucky grins, pleased to have helped ease the tense atmosphere. He distracts you with idle conversation after that, talking about his plans for the upcoming weekend, asking about yours, tells you about the newest stupid thing Sam did; he talks and talks and talks, until your anxiety is gone, and then he stays to cook dinner for you.

Your hug when he gets ready to head back to his apartment lasts a couple minutes longer than usual. Bucky quietly allows it, dropping a kiss on your forehead when you pull away.

“Same time next week?” he jokes, making you crack a smile.

“Goodbye, Bucky,” you reply exasperatedly as you close your door.

“Bye, sweetheart,” he returns over his shoulder.

***

Weeks pass. More injections. Pregnancy tests taken.

But nothing happens.

All of your tests come back negative.

When reading up on artificial insemination, and pregnancy in general, you’d understood that there was a chance it wouldn’t happen right away. You thought you were fine with that, that you’d be alright with the waiting and all. Looking at your growing collection of negative tests, however, has a sense of dread building within you. You do your best to quell it, telling yourself there’s no need to stress over it. Yet.

Besides, your mind supplies in an overly cheerful manner, there’s still one more method to try!

***

The next time Bucky brings over his sample, he lets himself in, like always, and passes along the cup with an encouraging smile. You try to smile back, but it feels more like a grimace. He either doesn’t notice or he at least pretends not to, thankfully.

But when he goes to make himself comfortable to wait, you’re reminded that you haven’t told him about the, uh… change in procedure, so to speak.

You clear your throat delicately. “I don’t think you’ll need to stick around this time.”

Bucky frowns. “Why not?”

“Because…” You trail off, cheeks pinking, yet not finishing the sentence, because how do you explain this?

“I promised you I’d be here every step of the way,” he recalls. “I intend to keep that promise.”

You wince. “I really appreciate where your heart is, Bucky, I really do, but I literally cannot let you be here for this injection.”

“Why not?”

You look heavenward for mercy. “I have to…”

When you don’t finish your sentence again, Bucky raises a single brow, gesturing for you to go on. “You have to… what?”

You huff, throwing your arms out. “I have to orgasm, okay?”

His eyes go a little bit wide, but you can tell he tries to control his reaction. He swallows, shifting where he sits on the couch.

“Oh,” he mumbles. “Have… have you had to do that before?”

“No. Well, I mean, it was suggested, but I never…”

His eyebrows furrow. “Does it help or something?”

You absently scratch your neck. “They say it increases the chances of conception.”

“But you haven’t been doing… that.”

“I didn’t think I’d need to.”

Bucky inhales like he’s going to say something, but then doesn’t.

“Yeah, so, I don’t think you should be here,” you utter, quickly adding, “No offense.”

“No, yeah, that’s fair, um. I’ll just—I’ll head back to my apartment,” he states as he stands. “You can—I mean, if you still want me to—I can come back over? After you… uh…”

“I’ll let you know,” you reply, voice tight and high.

He nods, looking lost and like he wants to say more but thinks better of it. Finally, he mutters a soft bye and is out the door.

Alone now, your stomach feels like it’s tying itself in knots and your heart is doing its damnedest to beat out of your chest. You try to tell yourself that it’s just another injection, that this is the same as any other time you've done this, but you know it’s not. It's really, really not.

Laying down on your bed, syringe in hand, is much more nerve wracking than before. On your left lies a new addition to your routine. You don’t know why you’re acting like such a prude all the sudden. It’s not like you’ve never masturbated before. Though, you suppose the major difference is that you didn’t have Bucky’s sperm hangin’ out in your vagina all those other times while you did it.

“Quit being such a goober about this,” you tell yourself.

This has to be done for a reason. If you want to have a baby—and you do, very badly—then you’re gonna have to deal with the process.

Once you’ve injected the sperm, you reach for your bullet vibrator next to your left hand. The instructions say not to insert anything, only to stimulate your clit. You try to clear your head, think of it as a chore or something, yet it’s hard not to think of a certain someone.

The vibrator buzzes with the press of a button. You adjust your hips, making sure they’re tilted, then bring the vibrator to your clit. The first touch makes your stomach tense and thighs spasm.

You close your eyes, running the toy along your slit. You really don’t want to drag this out, would prefer to get it over with as quickly as possible, but your mind begins running away with images.

Bucky, settled between your spread thighs, one hand resting on one of them, the other controlling the vibrator. You imagine he’d tease you, slowly trail it along the crease of your thighs, over your hips; everywhere but where you wanted it.

Bucky would probably give in once you whine and beg enough, once your desperation bled into your voice, and hold the vibrator directly to your clit, drink in your cries of pleasure like they’re the finest whisky.

He’d mutter soft but firm encouragement, tell you how good you’re doing, how good you sound. He’d start circling the vibrator, going from quick to lazy swirls, then he’d change the setting to a higher one just to hear you whimper. His free hand would run up your torso to pinch at your nipples for added stimulation.

When you imagine him leaning down to add his tongue into the mix, your mind blanks as your climax hits you, a ragged moan forcing its way out of your throat. You’re quick to turn the vibrator off and toss it to the floor, deciding you’ll worry about cleaning it later, chest heaving as you pant for breath after an intense orgasm.

Shame and embarrassment consume you, mock you for using Bucky to rub one out. You’d given in to the fantasy so easily.

Truthfully, it’s not the first time you’ve thought of him while pleasuring yourself, but the context this time is completely different, and you feel immediately guilty. Admittedly, it’s probably irrational.

That doesn’t stop you from cringing at your actions.

***

You’re sure you’ve bought out the entire pregnancy test section from the convenience store down the block. Currently, there are six different brands in front of you, all promising the most accurate results.

Bucky is sitting in your bedroom, quietly waiting for you to pee on all of them so you can both find out what they say. You chug the last bit of your third bottle of water even though your bladder is fit to burst at any moment. Turning the faucet on for modesty, you make quick work of the tests, then wash your hands.

And wait.

You call Bucky into the bathroom with you. The two of you quietly sit on the edge of your bathtub, counting down the minutes. Part of you wishes Bucky would say something dumb to break the tension, like he usually does, but you're also kind of glad he's just here, next to you, a silent comfort.

It seems like hours have passed when you’re finally sure you can check them.

The first one is negative, and so is the second. The third, however, reads positive. Your heart begins racing, clutching at the counter, but before your hopes get too carried away you read the rest. To your dismay, they are all negative. You stare down at them all, eyes falling on the loan positive test multiple times, knowing that it’s likely a false positive, yet stupidly hoping otherwise.

Your chin wobbles. Bucky hugs you from behind, resting his cheek on your shoulder.

“What do I do, Bucky?”

At your broken whisper, he sighs. “I don’t know, sweetheart.”

Neither of you know what to say or do after that. Bucky continues offering quiet support, his solid presence at your back, and you’re grateful. Eventually, he leads you out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, sitting you down at the table as he starts preparing dinner.

When you’re both eating the spaghetti he made, he breaks the silence.

“Do you think…” he starts, pausing to think of how to phrase his question before carefully carrying on. “Are you going to stop?”

“I don’t want to,” you answer, the implied but hanging heavy in the air.

Bucky sits his fork down. “I know you want this, very much.” He pushes his hair out of his face as he leans forward, elbows settling on the table. “But I hate seeing how sad you get when the tests come out negative. I feel so… powerless. Like I could be doing more or something.”

“You’re doing all you can, Bucky,” you assure.

“That’s the thing, though. I don’t think I am.”

You frown. “What do you mean?”

He licks his lips, locking his fingers together. “I think we should have sex.”

Your fork drops to your plate with a clang, eyes going wide.

“I apologize for how blunt that came out,” he states with a wince. “But, I mean, think about it. You’ve only been using my sperm from a syringe, and up until the last time, you hadn’t been, um, orgasming with it.” You look away, bashful. “I just wonder if maybe trying the old-fashioned way would give you better results.”

“Bucky,” you start, opening and closing your mouth a couple times before shaking your head. “It’s one thing for you to offer your sperm, which I’m thankful for, truly, but… Having sex?”

“I’ve already told you I’m willing to do whatever I need to do,” he retorts earnestly. “Your happiness means a lot to me, okay? I hate sitting around and watching your heart break every week. You’ve tried it your way, now I think we should try mine.”

“I-I don’t know,” you hesitate, chewing on the inside of your cheek, knee beginning to bounce under the table.

His hand slides onto your knee, stilling the movement as he ducks his head to meet your gaze. His eyes are impossibly sincere and your resolve crumbles in an instant.

“It won’t… It’s not going to change anything,” he assures. “I won’t allow it.”

You swallow roughly. He may not, but your heart is going to take its toughest beating yet. It’s going to be hopeless trying to overcome the inevitable emotions that come with sex.

Even so, somehow, your longing for a baby eclipses all of this. Now that you’ve imagined holding your child in your arms, raising them and loving them, you can’t go back. Not anymore.

“Okay,” you allow, softly.

Bucky’s shoulders relax, lips tipping up into a devastating smile.

You’re so fucked. (Pun intended.)

***

Two nights later, you’re pacing in your bedroom, impatiently waiting for Bucky to arrive. You’d been unsure whether or not you should dress up. You didn’t see the point, honestly. Still, a small part of you wondered what his reaction would be if he saw you all done up in lingerie. At the moment, you’re in an oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts.

It’s Bucky, you think, and this isn’t a normal situation, it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing.

You hear his key turning in the lock then and your heart begins hammering away. He calls your name as he enters.

“In here,” you reply, twisting your fingers nervously.

He walks into your room looking just as on edge as you are. He also seems to have had the same idea about his attire, comfortable in his white tee and sweatpants. His feet are bare and for whatever reason that feels way more intimate than it has any right to.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hi.”

You bite your lip, eyes flitting around your room and coming back to settle on Bucky. He huffs.

“This is ridiculous,” he declares, “It’s just us.”

“Right,” you nod, biting the inside of your cheek.

“It’s not gonna be weird.”

“Nope.”

His jaw ticks. You stare back at him. It only takes a moment for you to realize that somebody has to make the first move, so you steel yourself and turn on your heel, walking towards your bed.

“I’m keeping my shirt on,” you announce as you unceremoniously drop onto the mattress, grabbing your pillows to stuff them under you.

Bucky follows at a sedate pace, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. He pauses next to you, taking a second to roll his shoulders, then he climbs in and settles in front of your bent legs. He gingerly places his hands on your knees.

“May I?” he asks.

Mouth suddenly dry, you nod. He moves his hands to the waistband of your shorts and tugs. You lift your hips to help him slide them down and off, along with your underwear. Gently, he spreads your legs.

Your breathing has picked up considerably, eyes firmly trained on the ceiling. You know you’re already wet and are blessedly thankful he doesn’t mention it.

The first slide of his fingers has you inhaling sharply. He slowly gathers your slick and trails it up to your clit, lightly circling it. Your mind recalls your fantasy, but you quickly shove it back to the depths of your thoughts, lest you do something idiotic like tell him about it.

He spreads your legs more, adjusting his position between them. His fingers move down until he can sink one into you. You gasp, hands shooting out to grasp your sheets. He wastes no time and begins thrusting his finger inside you.

It becomes quickly apparent to you that it’s going to be very difficult to hold back any noise or reactions. Goddamnit, you will try, though!

When he decides it’s time to add another finger, you feel yourself clench around them, and his soft fuck does not go unnoticed, evident in the way your pussy traitorously clenches again.

“Can I…?” he asks, voice cracking, but doesn’t finish his thought, making you have to break your staring contest with the ceiling and look at him.

He’s not even looking back at you, he’s staring at his fingers, watching them pump in and out of you, half bent over with a slack jaw, like he wants to…

He meets your eyes then, licking his lips.

Oh.

Swallowing around the sudden lump in your throat, knowing you’re probably going to regret it, you nod.

He’s leaning over and sucking on your clit before you can even blink. You cry out, thighs trying to clamp around his head, but his free hand shoots out to hold you open. It makes you squirm, fisting the sheets even tighter. His fingers curl inside you as his tongue licks around them and you whine, high and needy, and then mouth is back on your clit, tongue swiping over it, sucking on it with loud, obscene noises.

His hand comes up to grab the hem of your shirt, shoves it upward until it’s bunched underneath your breasts. Those fingers ghost back down your torso, goosebumps erupting in their wake.

He speeds up his thrusts and your hand flies down to grip his hair. You don’t think you’re meant to hear the quiet grunt he lets out, but you do, and it has you panting even harder. Your orgasm is building, fast, and you pull on his hair in warning.

“Bucky,” you say on a gasp.

Using his arm to hold you down, his free hand joins, thumb swiping over your clit now as he dips his head to slide his tongue in alongside his fingers. It draws a yell out of you, the ever expanding pleasure within you bursting into the hardest orgasm you’ve experienced thus far in your adult life. You know you’re moaning, bucking into the sensations coursing through you, and you’d feel abashed if you didn’t feel so fucking good.

Before you can become too sensitive, Bucky withdraws his fingers and sits up. You can’t even really catch your breath, though, because in the next second he’s whipping his t-shirt off and shoving his sweatpants down far enough to free his cock.

Your thighs do clamp closed then, at the sight of how thick he is, and he tries and fails to keep his smirk hidden.

“Oh, shut up,” you wheeze.

“Didn’t say anything,” he counters.

He doesn’t let you argue, choosing that moment to shuffle closer and line up with your opening. Cautiously, he eases himself inside, inch by inch. Your mouth drops open, brows furrowing as he fills you, stretching you so perfectly. When he’s in as far as he can go, the breath wooshes out of him, his head falling back. You know he’s trying to be polite and let you adjust, but—

“Oh my god, move,” you demand, impatient.

He huffs a laugh, dropping his heavy lidded gaze to yours. “Bossy.”

“Did you really expect anything else—oh!”

The grin he aims your way after grinding into you is downright sinful. You mentally tell yourself to kick him for that later.

He grabs your hips and the pillows and settles you closer to his lap, changing the angle, then pulls out and glides back in, creating a painstakingly slow rhythm.

You have to close your eyes. You can’t look at him anymore. You knew he was probably a god in bed, but to now have firsthand experience? There was no way you’d be able to fuck anyone else without comparing them.

His grip on your hips tightens, the only warning you get before his thrusts turn sharp.

“Fuck,” you cry out, your hands reaching up to grip the pillow beneath your head.

The sound of your skin meeting his is harsh in the otherwise quiet room. Well, okay, you’re not exactly being quiet, but you can’t be blamed for that.

Bucky, however, is nearly silent. The only thing you hear from him is heavy breathing. You wonder if he’s holding back, the thought crossing your mind for a split second, and then you’re clenching around his cock, trying to see if you can gain a reaction. And boy, do you get one.

He grunts and sucks in a breath, lips parting as his eyes squeeze shut. His hips pick up their pace and hair falls into his face. You find yourself wishing he was closer so you could brush it out of the way.

Stop it, you scold yourself.

He pauses to grind into you again, your walls fluttering around his throbbing cock, and you both sigh. Bucky leans forward, hooking your legs into the crooks of his elbows, and resumes his brutal pace.

“O-Oh,” you whimper.

The new angle is heavenly, his cock dragging along a spot inside you that you thought nobody else could find. Unable to help yourself, you clutch at his arms, nails digging in.

“Shit,” he groans, thrusts faltering.

He lets go of one of your legs to slip his hand between you, rubbing at your clit and sending you that much closer to your second orgasm. He can tell you’re close, but you’re gonna need something to push you over the edge. He leans down even closer, breath fanning out against your cheek.

“C’mon,” he pants. “Let go.”

You shiver when his tongue flicks your earlobe and sucks it into his mouth, keening as the pressure builds. He thrusts harder, faster, and when you grasp his hair and pull, he growls and latches on to your shoulder, biting down. You gasp from the added pain and then you’re coming, shuddering and whining through your release. Bucky isn’t far behind, raising up and fucking into you savagely before pausing abruptly, groaning as he finally comes. He lazily thrusts a few more times to draw it out, then stops, stilling with his cock inside you.

Your hair is sticking to your forehead, as well as your shirt to your clammy back, breathing in lungfuls of air. Bucky is softly caressing your thighs, letting out shaky breaths as your pussy continues to flutter around him.

It takes several moments for you to gather your wits, for the rest of the world to come filtering back in. You are truly and completely fucked now, in every sense of the word.

“Well…” You trail off, voice scratchy.

“That was…”

“Mhm,” you mumble.

Bucky sighs heavily. “Let’s hope it worked this time.”

You hum. “Thank you for your service,” you reply with a lazy salute.

You yelp when he pinches your hip, kicking at him in retaliation. The jostling reminds you, with a gasping groan, that he’s still buried balls deep inside you.

“Um.” You cough lightly. “You wanna, you know… pull out?”

He looks down where you’re connected like it hadn’t even dawned on him. “Oh, uh. Well, I thought maybe it could, like. Help.”

His gaze stays locked, fingers flexing on your hips, and you feel like squirming again.

“I think it’s good,” you say quietly.

Bucky finally glances back up at your shy tone, cheeks pinking. He clears his throat.

“Right.”

Carefully, he eases his softening cock out of you, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from making a noise.

You can’t hold back yours, though, gasping once he’s gone. You feel unbearably empty, but refrain from voicing that incessant thought.

Bucky’s intense eyes stare at your pussy until you reach for the throw blanket next to you. He watches you throw it over your lap, drawing your legs up to your chest, and takes that as his cue, jolting into action.

“Okay, so.” He starts, then stops, climbs off your bed and pulls his sweatpants back up. “This was—I mean, if it doesn’t take this time, we can… try again.”

“Yeah,” you mutter. “Sounds good.”

He nods, bending to pick up his discarded t-shirt. “Great. I’ll just, um, see myself out, I guess.”

You nod, sending a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes in his direction. He seems to contemplate something for a second, then leans down to kiss your forehead before saying a quick goodbye and leaving.

As soon as you hear your apartment door shut, you let your tears fall.

***

It’s not really like you mean to avoid him after that.

Honest.

You simply become busy, that’s all. You definitely don’t go out of your way by taking the stairs in your apartment building to avoid possibly bumping into him in the elevator. No, you take the stairs because you could use the cardio. It’s important you stay healthy right now. And when he texts you to ask if you want to have dinner, you can’t help that you’ve got boatloads of work to catch up on—all five times he asks.

Okay, so, that’s a lie. You’re totally avoiding him. But what on earth are you supposed to say to him now? You don’t think you’d even be able to look him in the eye anymore, not after the fuck of your goddamn life.

That night confirmed what you already knew for the last two years: Bucky absolutely ruined you for anyone else.

More than anything, though, you were angry with yourself. He’d only offered because you weren’t getting your desired results the other way. You should have been able to separate your feelings and emotions from all of it. After all, none of this was about whatever you feel towards Bucky. This was about trying to conceive a baby.

You try telling yourself to get over it. He’s your best friend, you can’t just cut him off because you’re a spineless pansy.

I just need some time, you reason. You can give yourself a few days to wallow over what could have been and then you can reach out to him and pretend like everything is fine. Because it is.

***

Flash forward two weeks to you attempting to sneak into your apartment, only to jump out of your skin when you turn around and find Bucky sitting on your couch, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Oh, good, you’re still alive,” he drawls.

His tone suggests annoyance. You suppose you deserve that.

“Hey,” you say after a pause.

He stares at you for a moment longer before speaking again. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t let it get weird.”

You agreed, you almost say, thankfully biting it back. You drop your purse on the entryway table, sliding your shoes off and making your way over to sit next to him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. You tug your sweater sleeves down and tuck your feet beneath you. “I haven’t ever… I’ve never been intimate with a friend before. It was just… a lot.”

It’s a half truth, at least. You haven’t had sex with a friend before. Or, well, not one you had feelings for.

“You could’ve just told me,” he replies, reaching for your hand.

You nod. “I know, and I should have, I just. Things are all out of whack lately with the whole… trying to get pregnant thing.”

“If I overstepped in any way—” Bucky starts, but you’re quick to interrupt.

“You didn’t,” you promise. “You’ve been nothing but fantastic throughout this whole ordeal. Honestly, Bucky, you’ve done way more than anyone else would have in this situation. I just had a lot going on in my head and let it get the best of me. I’m fine, I swear.”

He searches your eyes and must find what he’s looking for.

“Don’t shut me out again,” he pleads.

Heart cracking in your chest, you can only nod, shuffling closer to pull him into a hug. He buries his face in your neck and holds on tight.

***

Another week passes.

Bucky is with you as you wait for the results of the latest pregnancy test. He’s reassured you that you’ll keep trying until it happens if it didn’t work this time.

When the timer on your phone goes off, you release the breath you’ve been holding. You take tentative steps over to the sink and gingerly pick up the test.

Positive.

Your stomach swoops. It’s positive. You check again, reading the digitized screen, but it stays the same. Positive. Holy shit.

“Okay, wait, no, I need to do more. I can’t get my hopes up again,” you mutter, rushing to open the cabinet under your sink to dig out several more varieties of tests.

You don’t even wait for Bucky to leave before you’re peeing on the other sticks. He’s seen it all at this point anyway, and he doesn’t seem to care, sitting on the edge of your tub with an anxious expression. The downside is that you have to wait another few minutes for these tests to finish and you can’t sit still, pacing back and forth in the small space of your bathroom.

The timer goes off again. You feel like you’re going to throw up when you finally work up the courage to look down.

Every single one of them… Positive.

A shocked, happy laugh escapes you. You cover your mouth, turning to Bucky with wide eyes.

He rises to his full height, coming closer and peering down at the tests, then back to your teary eyed expression.

“Did we…?”

Words failing you, you nod, giggling in astonishment. Bucky’s face breaks into the biggest, handsomest, most gut-wrenching smile. His happiness is palpable and you’re suddenly so overcome with emotion. Your hands are gripping his face and angling it to align your lips to his before you register what you’re doing. He freezes and you hurriedly pull away, taking a few steps back.

“I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know why—”

“Shut up,” he cuts you off, closing the gap between you in a single stride.

He kisses you like his life depends on it, pressing your bodies as close as possible, his hands cupping your cheeks. You clutch his shirt desperately, never wanting to let go. He steals the breath straight from your lungs when he swipes at the seam of your lips with his tongue, moaning happily when you allow him access. A feeble whine from you after he flicks his tongue against yours makes him break the kiss.

“I have a confession,” he breathes into the miniscule space between your mouths.

“What?” you question distractedly.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your gaze shoots up to his, astounded. He brushes stray hairs off your forehead, runs his thumbs softly under your eyes.

“I’ve been selfish this whole time,” he reveals. “I couldn’t let you choose some random stranger to be your sperm donor, to father your child, couldn’t bear the thought of you carrying their baby, because I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you. I wanted to be the one. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but I’m not sorry I did it.”

You’re hearing the words, yet your brain can’t seem to make sense of them. Surely you’re hearing him wrong. You can’t possibly have this too, right? You can't have Bucky and have his baby…

But he’s here, very real and solid beneath your hands, looking at you like you’re his entire world.

“Bucky…” You trail off, struggling to find the right words, at a complete loss. “I-I’ve loved you for so long now, I didn’t think you…” You shake your head, a giggle escaping you as you stare at him in wonder. “I couldn’t let myself hope.”

He grins, relieved, planting a few chaste kisses to your mouth. “I know this entire circumstance is totally backwards, but I want you, and I want this baby. I meant it when I said I’m not going anywhere.”

Fresh tears gather in the corners of your eyes. “Are you sure?” you still ask.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

You have to kiss him then, uncaring of the tears that trickle down your face. The only thing you are focused on is the way his hands trail down your back, pausing to squeeze your ass, then grip underneath to lift you. Your legs wrap around his waist, arms locked around his neck, as he heads for your bed. He makes a point of throwing your extra pillows on the floor before settling between your thighs and kissing the hell out of you.

He pulls away only to undress you and himself, but he’s always back as quickly as possible, lips pressing kisses wherever he can reach. You impatiently tug at him until his lips are attached to yours again. The way he fucks his tongue into your mouth is nothing short of indecent and it sends a rush of pure want all the way to your core.

When you bury your fingers in his hair, gripping it tight, he grunts, biting your lip. You whimper and he grins as he pulls away.

“You make the most beautiful sounds,” he praises, his hands beginning to sweep down and up, tickling under your breasts.

His thumb and forefinger pinch one of your nipples and you gasp, back arching off your mattress. He repeats it on the other side, just to hear the same noise.

“Bucky, please,” you beg.

“Please what?” he prods. His hands drift further to the creases of your thighs, spreading them open. “What do you need?”

You whine, canting your hips up. “You, I need you, please.”

“You have me, sweetheart.” He tilts his head and you make a noise of frustration. “Use your words, darlin’.”

“Fuck me, please,” you burst out, feeling your pussy clench around nothing.

Bucky smiles, slow and torturous. “Yeah? Want me to fuck you? Fuck this perfect pussy until you’re so full of my come that it drips down your beautiful thighs?”

“Oh god,” you mumble.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he teases.

His fingers slide down your slit, gathering your slick then thrusts two fingers in at once. You groan brokenly, shifting your hips to try and get more friction, but he holds them down with his metal arm. Agonizingly slow, he begins fucking you with his fingers. It’s good, it’s amazing, but it’s not enough. Not when you know what his cock feels like. He takes his precious time fingering you and you’re sure you’re going to lose your mind before the day is done.

“You have no idea how incredible you felt around my cock,” he tells you in a ridiculously conversational tone. “I was trying to think of any excuse I could come up with to have you at least one more time.”

He shifts until his mouth is directly above where you’re dripping for him, and he waits until you make eye contact with him.

“But now I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making you come apart on my cock any chance I get.”

You hardly have any functioning brain cells at the moment, but even if you could form a coherent sentence you wouldn’t have been able to say it aloud, because then he’s descending and all you can feel is the wet warmth of his mouth.

He definitely doesn’t hold back this time, that much is apparent in the way he devours you, lips and tongue drawing out noises you’ve never heard yourself make, pressing his face so far into your pussy that he has to come up for air. His mouth and chin shine when you chance a look down, and when you clench on his fingers his smile goes smug at the corners.

He plants kisses along your hips, the insides of your thighs, around where his fingers are buried within you. He curls them, in search of the spot he found last time. He knows he found it when you try to close your thighs around his head and cry out. Now that he's found it, he angles to brush it on every thrust of his fingers and attaches his mouth back on your clit.

You chant his name, nearly sobbing as you approach your climax, until finally you fly over the edge. Your vision blurs and you’re not sure if you’re making any noise now, unable to hear past the blood rushing in your ears. Bucky helps you ride it out until you’re shuddering from sensitivity.

He kisses your thighs again, trailing them up your stomach and between the valley of your breasts.

“So good, did so well,” he mutters.

Weakly, you lift your hands to trace them down his toned stomach and around his back, down further so you can cop a feel of your own, smiling at his grunt of surprise.

“That was great and all,” you say, arching your back so your chest presses against his, “but I do believe I asked you to fuck me.”

He arches an eyebrow. “Who said I was done with you?” It’s apparently a rhetorical question, as he continues before you get a chance to reply. “I’m gonna fuck you until you come, and then I’m gonna keep fucking you until you come again, and only then will I come so deep inside you there’ll be zero doubt I’ve put a baby there.”

Your legs are lifted and thrown over his shoulders in a blink, his cock pushing into your pussy, dragging out a high-pitched moan from you. There’s barely a pause and then he’s fucking you, just like you asked. The pace is brutal right from the start, a steady rhythm that has you mewling and writhing in pleasure. Bucky is watching his cock as he thrusts in and out of you, his mouth hanging open slightly as he pants. He hikes your hips up a little higher and you jolt through your startled moan. This angle is divine and the telltale signs of your second orgasm start tingling at the base of your spine.

“Can feel you,” Bucky says through panting breaths, “so close. C’mon, let me feel you.”

He pulls you down on his cock, grinding into you, his thumb reaching to rub tight circles over your clit. You sob through your release, shuddering against Bucky as you clench around him. He groans, still barely moving as you come down from your high.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “Come here.”

He helps you sit up, still seated on his cock, making you both hiss from your movement. Your arms automatically wrap around his shoulders and his around your waist. He kisses you so sweetly, a stark contradiction to the way he just fucked you. When you pull away, resting your foreheads together, he grins.

“Hi.”

You crack a smile. “Hi.”

“Ready for more?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You think you got it in you?” you tease as you play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

The light smack to your ass startles you and you let out a soft sound of surprise, hands tugging his hair harshly. Bucky’s eyes light up.

“Interesting,” he muses.

Another slap, a little harder than the first, and you’re whimpering, your walls clenching around his still hard cock.

“I’ll play with that later,” he promises, voice breathy.

You bury your face in his neck and start shifting your hips. He takes the hint, gathering you as close as he can and thrusts up into you. He can’t pull out as far this way, but the snap of his hips more than makes up for it. You mouth at his collarbone messily, kissing and licking your way up to his jaw, biting marks wherever you see fit. You make it up to his mouth and he kisses you, wet and filthy. You suck on his tongue and a ragged moan claws its way out of his throat. The need for air eventually has you pulling away.

“It’s a good thing you love me back,” you whisper in his ear. “Nobody else could ever compare to you.”

He growls, fisting your hair and yanking your head back to look him in the eye.

“Nobody will ever compare,” he corrects.

You moan. “Yes,” you agree, whining, “No one else could’ve given me a baby.”

Bucky thrusts harder and faster at your words. You’re picking up on a few hints and you can’t say it’s not doing it for you either.

“Filled me up so good, fucked me so well. Gonna be round with your baby soon.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he keens, hurrying to lay you flat on your back so he can fuck into you easier.

The sound of skin meeting skin fills the room, your cries of pleasure mixing in with Bucky’s grunts and curses. His grip on you tightens almost painfully as he chases both your and his orgasm. You’re sure to have bruises tomorrow and you already know you'll be poking at them to remember this moment.

“C’mon, baby, wanna feel you too,” you beg.

His thumb finds your swollen clit once more. It’s beyond sensitive now, feels like a shockwave coursing through you, and without any warning, you come. You spasm around Bucky and he swears under his breath, thrusts going sloppy. With a final groan, he comes inside you, his hips moving seemingly on their own as he draws out both your pleasures. Slowly, he comes to a stop, but he leaves his cock buried in you like he did last time.

You know you’re gonna feel too empty when he does pull out, so you don’t mind sitting like this for a while. Bucky softly runs his hands across every inch of your skin he can touch and you bask in the affection. You card your fingers through his sweaty hair, smiling when he hums happily. It takes only a minute for you to notice the way his hands migrate to your stomach, and when you do you kiss his shoulder.

“Maybe we should go again later,” you suggest faintly.

Bucky grins. “We can do it a hundred more times if you want.”

“Guess I better enjoy it while I can.”

His smile goes soft at the edges.

It’s not lost on you how incredibly crazy all of this is. There will undoubtedly be a conversation, a much needed one that isn’t going to be simple or easy, but it’s necessary.

For now, though, you bask in Bucky’s warmth and loving embrace.

***

Keys jingle as they unlock the door and you perk up where you’re sprawled on the couch. Bucky enters, arms laden with bags from the convenience store.

“They didn’t have the banana ice cream you asked for,” he announces, continuing before your pout fully forms, “but they did have the double chocolate brownie kind you love so much, so I got that, as well as the sour gummy worms, beef jerky, and fried pickles from the deli on your list of demands.”

“What about—”

“And your strawberry Fanta,” he adds with a fond, slightly exasperated smile.

You’re unable to stop your expression from going soft and dreamy.

Ever since you and Bucky figured out where to go with your relationship, he’s been even more attentive and accommodating (and that’s saying something).

You expressed your worry about the possibility of something going wrong, that one or both of you would get bored and leave, or there’d be a big fight that neither of you could forgive. He was quick to reassure you of his commitment, told you there was no way he would ever get bored of you, and that as long as you both promise to talk things out in a calm, mature way, then you’d be alright.

It all sounded so easy when it was put like that. The more you thought about it, though, the more you realized he was right. It wasn’t fair to either of you to already give up before you’d even started. So you’d taken a deep breath and leaped.

Now, you’re five and a half months in, your belly steadily growing and making everyday life increasingly uncomfortable. The changes to your body were physically and emotionally draining, to say the least. Moreso the emotional side. You’d hoped you wouldn’t be one of those pregnant women with strange cravings, and for the most part they were pretty tame, but you do like to dip your sour gummy worms in banana ice cream. Bucky didn’t attempt to hide his disgust over that.

“What did I do to deserve you?” you ask on a pleased sigh.

He places your small cornucopia of goods on the coffee table. You sit up, huffing for breath during the struggle. You go to reach for the ice cream first, but Bucky catches your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and kissing your knuckles as he kneels in front of you.

“You were yourself. Smart, kind, selfless, unbelievably sexy.” You snort at that, but he’s undeterred. “And you’re giving me the best gift I could ever dream of. A family.”

Instantly, you’re crying. He’s grown accustomed to the mood swings by now, taking it in stride as he wipes away the tears with gentle hands.

“Stop being so disgusting,” you blubber through your hiccuping cries. “You’re such an asshole.”

Bucky laughs. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

You sniffle, kissing him. “Love you,” you grumble.

He leans down and plants the softest of kisses to your belly. “And I love you, little lady.”

The idea of you having a child one day always seemed foreign and unlikely, but life has a way of turning out exactly how it’s supposed to… And you wouldn’t change a thing.

[yyh4ever]

Yoshihiro Togashi Handwritten Letter

Togashi sent a handwritten letter to the idol Yumiko Seki, answering 11 questions. The letter was read aloud in the Iwakura and Yoshizumi's Show, on TV Asahi, on November 14th and 21st, 2023.

There's already a translation of the Q&A by the hunter fandom (please read it), but I want to share my favorite parts and maybe some interesting info that was said during the TV program. You can watch the full version on bilibili. The whole film studio was decorated with Hunter x Hunter manuscripts and figures, and BGM from both versions of the anime was played during the broadcast.

The MCs of the show are two female comedians, Yoshizumi and Iwakura. The guests were Yumiko Seki (former Sakurazaka46); singer Toshiya Miyata (Kis-My-Ft2), a huge Hunter x Hunter fan; and the comedian Shintaro Morimoto (TONTSUKATAN) who read Togashi's letter and served as moderator.

At the beginning of the show, Seki-san revealed she met Togashi in a Sakurazaka46 live concert.

Everyone was shocked to learn she met him face-to-face!

Then, Seki-san showed an autographed shikishi Togashi-sensei gave her when she graduated from Sakurazaka46. (T/N: She announced her graduation on December 13, 2022, and graduated on April 30, 2023 at the Sakurazaka46 3rd TOUR 2023).

Killua: "Graduation is the starting line!!"

It's interesting to add that Killua is Seki's favorite character and orange & white were her penlight colors, also her favorite colors. That's why Togashi drew Killua holding a bouquet of orange and white flowers.

Miyata joked that he will make sure that everyone knows he loves Hunter x Hunter by the time he graduates from Kis-My-Ft2 boy band. Morimoto told him "don't graduate just to get a shikishi" (LOL).

By the way, Miyata loves Kurapika, so I hope Togashi gives him a Kurapika shikishi one day :P

Here's Togashi's huge letter!

Before reading sensei's answers, they anticipated the huge success of the show, and came up with the hashtag #冨樫先生からのお手紙 (letter from Togashi-sensei).

It was a success indeed, trending all over social media.

Then, Morimoto started to read the Q&A.

The second question was about the Hunter x Hunter character setting. Before reading the answer, they showed a Togashi's memo containing a detailed timeline of each character that he uses in order to develop the story without creating any contradictions. There's a timeline of the Chimera Ant Arc, and a table of the princes' entourage, allowing Togashi to distinguish them. He even drew characters that didn't appear.

Miyata left his seat and came closer to the monitor, so he could see the memo better. He's a crazy HxH stan just like us.

This material is actually from Jump Ryu's booklet (2016). You can also watch the Jump Ryu video with subs on YouTube, where Togashi explains better how this character table works.

Here's the part of the answer Togashi talks about Killua's inspirations. I am a huge fan of MDP Psycho!

The author of "Toy-y", Atsushi Kamijo, thanked Togashi on his Twitter. He also wrote that he loves Level-E.

When answering question 4, we found out Togashi-sensei watched Sakurazaka46 New Year's special feature in 2021, when Seki-san asked for the complete set of Hunter × Hunter.

But, because Togashi-sensei is such an introvert, he thought he would make her feel uncomfortable by actually sending it. It took him two years to finally decide to send it.

Miyata laughed so hard, saying: "Togashi-sensei is such an otaku!!" (LOL)

Seki-san confirmed Togashi really sent the Hunter × Hunter set to her ^^

The 5th question was about Togashi's favorite nen ability. Seki-san and Miyata also shared their favorite type of nen.

Seki-san loves Killua, thus she likes transmutation. She also likes Hisoka's analysis about nen, and thinks Killua fits his description about transmuters perfectly.

As for Miyata, he loves Kurapika, therefore he likes the conjurer type. He remembered that in order to conjurer chains, Kurapika had to imagine, touch, draw, and even licked real chains.

He was curious if Goreinu, a character that appears in Greed Island, had to do something similar and touch gorillas in order to be able to materialize them.

Miyata is a crazy HxH fan, he came up with many curious tidbits and did a deep analysis of the series. It's not confirmed in the manga or any databook if Goreinu is really a conjurer, but I really liked his point of view.

Question 7 about Meruem's final moments was really touching. After hearing Miyata's explanation about Meruem and Kogumi, Iwakura almost started crying.

Tears rolled down her cheeks when she saw the double spread of Meruem's final moments.

The funny thing is, at the beginning of the show, she told us she had only read the first chapter.

So, Morimoto joked: "Why did you have to stop at volume 1!!?" XD

Morimoto also revealed that Togashi-sensei's favorite scene is Meruem and Kogumi double spread.

Question 8, what does Togashi do on his days off? Morimoto asked Seki-san's opinion. She imagines Togashi having mandarin oranges on a kotatsu table, and talking to cats on the porch.

T/N: Eating oranges while sitting around a kotatsu table is a japanese tradition during the winter.

Togashi didn't mention anything like that in his answer, but there's an interview with Naoko Takeuchi (WITH magazine, May 2022) where she says, "We have been married for over 20 years. Although we have small fights sometimes, my husband is extremely kind and quiet, like a hermit (...) The house we have lived for 20 years is also a place of healing. Sometimes we have meals or tea in the garden". So, I can totally picture Togashi-sensei eating oranges in the winter and talking to cats.

Togashi-sensei stated he is the type of person who always has sound playing while he is working, just like Yoshizumi-san. She was happy she was acknowledged in his letter!

The question 9 was about manga that Togashi-sensei found interesting recently. Miyata remembered that Togashi had wrote a recommendation on the obi of Kimestu no Yaiba (Demon Slayer) volume 4, praising the series. I had completely forgotten Togashi loves Demon Slayer!

In his letter, Togashi-sensei wrote he couldn't give the name of the series he's currently into, since he would get criticized. But he left some clues. Yoshimizu said the crazy amount of ッッッ (small tsu) used in his answer was maybe a keyword, and that the fans would probably figure it out. She had no idea what manga he was talking about, though.

Togashi-sensei also wrote this manga is a true story published in 2023. So, many fans came up with the Autobiography of Keisuke Itagaki (author of Grappler Baki): an autobiographical manga depicting the harsh life experienced by Keisuke Itagaki in the "JGSDF 1st Airborne Brigade" that consumed his youth!

I started reading it, and the author really loves to use "ッッッ" at the end of the sentences. I don't think it's the kind of content I would recommend to an idol like Seki-san. Anyway, I don't know whether that's the correct answer or not, but it seems so.

The manga that Togashi-sensei ended up recommending was "Oi! Tombo". It has been serialized in Weekly Golf Digest since 2014. An anime is also scheduled to premiere in 2024. I was happy to see that the Golf Digest X Account mentioned his letter!

Seki-san was introduced to an unexpected golf manga, but she immediately became interested, saying, "I really want to read it'' and "I want to buy it right away.'' I guess we all felt that way. I'm definitely watching the anime!

The 10th question was about the ending! The reaction of the guests and MCs when Morimoto read there's an Ending D in case Togashi-sensei dies was priceless.

Before Morimoto could read the "Ending D", Miyata recalled he went to watch the Hunter × Hunter movie "Phantom Rouge", and received a copy of Volume 0. He grabbed it, and showed the Q&A with Togashi-sensei, highlighting Question 4: What will end up happening to Kurapika and the Phantom Troupe? A: "They will all die."

He was really looking forward to knowing the ending of Hunter × Hunter, but not this one (LOL). Morimoto and Miyata were too nervous, they took a sip to calm down before reading the "Ending D Pattern".

The final question was about the amount of text in volume 37. Miyata commenting that his answer also had an incredible amount of text made me laugh so hard. It was a huge answer indeed.

Togashi's last words were:

"Words are da best!" (Words rule/Nothing can beat words/Only words wins/ whatever sounds better in english).

Everyone laughed so hard, because this is actually a slang used by young people or fandom to say someone or something is the best. He wrote the letter in polite japanese, it was fun he ended it with a slang. By the way, Togashi-sensei loves slang, specially fandom unique vocabulary, as he usually uses it Hunter x Hunter. He's a fan of Keyakizaka46/Sakurazaka46 after all.

Miyata was excited to hear that Togashi-sensei himself is "bugged", which makes him want to continue reading HxH even more. One thing that caught Miyata's attention during this final question was the part Togashi-sensei mentioned he needs to settle many issues during the voyage of the Black Whale ship. Actually, the word "settlement" (解決) captured the attention of many fans, as they posted a lot about that on social media.

Miyata thought about people on board the ship whose fates needs a resolution. He wondered if this was about Kurapika and The Phantom Troupe since the conditions to what Togashi-sensei said in volume 0 (everyone's gonna die) are right there to happen soon.

He showed his Volume 0 again. LOL, I hope Togashi-sensei was just joking.

Of course, let's not forget that are many other unfinished business that needs a solution in this arc, we have a whole succession to the throne war in motion. But, Miyata was really hyped about Kurapika and volume 0.

The show ended with a big thanks and bow to Togashi-sensei!

Miyata said he has been reading HxH for more than 20 years, since he was in elementary school. No matter how old he is, he still gets excited about it! He loves Hunter × Hunter!

Morimoto asked Seki-san to say some final words to Togashi-sensei. Besides showing all her love for Hunter × Hunter, Seki-san was really cute and asked Togashi-sensei to take really good care of his health!

That's it, sorry for being like Togashi-sensei and writing too much. Although my posts are more about Yu Yu Haksuho, I feel I needed to address his letter too. I didn't take the Ending D too serious, since it was discarded. However, I think it was a cute closing to HxH. Like Miyata-said, everything went back to the beginning, The Whale Island where it all started.

I just want Togashi-sensei to live long and write his favorite ending!

There were other interesting parts, like Seki-san telling Togashi-sensei to make a DVD BOX of the TV show. In the end, everyone wanted to make one ^^ (me too). It is a really precious letter. I hope Seki-san frames it and make an altar :P

Thank you very much, Togashi-sensei!

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Thanks to Curieously for this wonderful Brooklyn, New York City 1910 Renaissance Revival limestone that underwent a top-to-bottom designer renovation and restoration in 2021. 7bds, 4.5ba, $8.9M. And, if you like blue, you'll love the decor. (No white & gray.)

The designer did, however, paint the original wood white. (I would've told her not to touch the mirror- a little contrast never hurt.) Notice that the newel post and railing are black. Painting original wood to brighten older homes is a trend that, if it goes out of style, will be a bitch to put back to the way it was.

The sitting room with rusty red accents. I like to analyze what designers do- they left all the originals, just painted over them. The floors look great with the inlaid patterns.

The dining room has a taste of the Orient with deep purplish toned wood and black & gold floral wallpaper.

The was renovated and renewed. At least it's light and bright.

The light fixture is glass, but they look like plastic squeeze bottles from a distance.

Attractive guest powder room.

The library has a door that opens to the garden.

Beautiful stained glass skylight in the stair well.

Pretty primary bedroom has a little seating area and a lovely fireplace.

And, there's also a small private balcony.

They made a closet/dressing room and a modern bath with a stylized take on a clawfoot tub.

Modern sauna. They made a radiator cover to match and left the stained glass window.

Rusty red family room with a pop of color.

Two of the smaller secondary bedrooms. The yellow one is very small, but cute and they did fit in a nice chair.

Brand new shower room.

In this room they constructed a lofted bed. Fun for a kid. Glad they kept the fireplace.

They don't show the garden, but they do feature the rooftop deck.

Lovely street in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn.

[iiichu]

the fact that my first contact with pjsk was either with a tiktok trend in 2021 (not sure) that was like "Tondemo-Wonderz but is just Tsukasa", or with the niigo Bitter Choco Decoration cover

i knew absolutely nothing about the characters or game and somehow my tiktok reccomended me videos with Toya angst or with wandasho

i started to know what was pjsk in around 2022/2023 and the first time I played definitely was in 2023, knowing somethings about the lore

my sister played once in my dads phone (because of the vocaloids) and in my moms phone (becaus it was appearing a lot for me), but on both we didnt even pass the downloading bc we werent at home and with poor internet

the first unit my sister chose on my dads phone was MMJ, because in our heads she looked like minori and when i played in my moms phone i chose WXS bc of the fame lolololol

on my actual account, that's also my first account, i chose Leo/Need bc i liked them in the epoch and now i am obssesed with them

and this was the start of my huge obssesion with a miku tap tap game yay

[camfire4]

The Impact of Floor Lamps on Home Aesthetics

Floor lamps are not just sources of illumination; they are also significant elements of home decor that can enhance the ambiance and style of any room. When selecting a floor lamp, it's crucial to consider its intended use, whether for reading, accent lighting, or simply as a decorative piece. A well-chosen floor lamp can create visit site here a warm and inviting atmosphere, while also serving a functional purpose. Let's delve into how to choose the perfect floor lamp for your space, considering factors such as brightness, style, and energy efficiency.

Choosing the Right Floor Lamp for Your Needs

Floor lamps come in various heights and styles, and they can serve multiple purposes in a home. They can be a primary light source, a reading aid, or a piece of decorative flair. When shopping for a floor lamp, it's essential to determine its primary function.

For Reading and Tasks

If the lamp is intended for reading or tasks that require bright light, the bulb should emit a strong, focused light. A reading floor lamp typically needs a bulb of at least 120 watts, but with advancements in lighting technology, LED bulbs can provide ample brightness with much lower wattage, saving energy and reducing electricity costs. Halogen bulbs, known for their bright white light, can also be an option, though they tend to be less energy-efficient than LEDs.

For Decoration

When a floor lamp is used for decorative purposes, the brightness is less critical. In this case, the lamp should offer a softer glow that complements the room's design without overpowering it. The lamp's height should align with eye level when seated, usually between 38 to 42 inches, to avoid direct glare.

Style and Size Considerations

The lampshade's width influences the light's spread; a broader shade will illuminate a larger area. The lamp's size should harmonize with the room's furniture and overall scale. For instance, a large sofa pairs well with a more substantial lamp. Floor lamps are available in styles ranging from modern and contemporary to traditional and country, with finishes like brass, bronze, brown, and gold tone.

Energy Efficiency and Cost

It's important to consider the bulb's wattage for both functionality and energy consumption. Higher wattage bulbs consume more power, leading to higher electricity bills. However, modern LED bulbs can provide the same level of brightness with much lower wattage, making them a cost-effective and environmentally friendly choice.

The price of floor lamps varies widely, from as low as $15 to upwards of $1000, with contemporary designs often carrying a higher price tag due to their unique aesthetics. Investing in a branded floor lamp is recommended for durability and quality assurance, as less reputable brands may offer cheaper options that lack longevity.

Finding the Best Deals

When budgeting for a floor lamp, look for discounts in newspapers, magazines, store catalogs, or online discount sites. Promo codes and sales can help you secure a high-quality lamp at a more affordable price.

Interesting Stats and Trends

According to a report by Grand View Research, the global lighting market size was valued at USD 118.33 billion in 2021 and is expected to grow at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 4.5% from 2022 to 2030. The increasing demand for energy-efficient lighting solutions is a significant factor driving this growth. LED lighting, in particular, is gaining popularity due to its longer lifespan and lower energy consumption compared to traditional incandescent bulbs (Grand View Research).

[goteambrooklyn]

Barbie: Big City, Big Dreams Gift Set (product code: GXF28)

"Inspire storytelling and friendship fun with this Barbie: Big City, Big Dreams™ gift set featuring three of Barbie® doll's besties! Teresa™, Daisy and Rafa dolls are ready to explore the city in stylish fashions inspired by their onscreen looks. Each friend comes with an on-trend accessory to complete their outfit: there's a record-inspired purse for Daisy doll, a tote bag with a musical theme for Teresa™ doll and cool aviator shades for Rafa doll. With three dolls inspired by Barbie: Big City, Big Dreams™, kids ages 3 years old and up can recreate their favorite moments or dream up their own big adventures! Doll cannot stand alone. Colors and decorations may vary. Features:

This Barbie Big City Big Dreams™ gift set inspires kids to join Barbie® doll's friends on their most exciting adventure yet!

These 3 dolls are ready to explore the city in fun fashion pieces, like a rockin' t-shirt dress for Daisy doll, a neon top and starry skirt for Teresa™ doll, and a t-shirt with distressed jeans for Rafa doll.

Stylish shoes complete each look, and on-trend accessories include music-themed purses for Teresa™ and Daisy dolls and cool aviator shades for Rafa doll.

With 3 dolls featuring their signature looks and accessories, 3- to 7-year-olds can play out all kinds of stories under the city lights or the spotlight!

Kids can collect more Barbie: Big City, Big Dreams™ dolls and playsets to recreate favorite moments or dream up their own big adventures."

[jingszo]

World’s UFO Hotspots?

The map can be found under the UAP Reporting Trends segment of the AARO's new website.

According to the map, Japan's Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the US' eastern and western coasts, and some areas across the Middle East are considered UFO sighting hotspots.

Another specific Japanese UFO hotspot is a tiny linomachi community within the Fukushima Prefecture. In fact, it has even earned the name "UFO Town," as it has been filled with decorations that have an extraterrestrial theme. It also houses the International UFO Lab, which is a research institute that launched in 2021 and that is directed by Takeharu Mikami, an alien enthusiast.

Just this year, the International UFO Lab unveiled six snaps of phenomena that are likely to be UFOs. These were captured in Fukushima and Kobe, among other areas.

Those who typically link UFO sightings with the US can be surprised by how a Middle Eastern region and Japan are part of the world's UFO hotspots.

[nmotypdfsfg]

[bizarrequazar]

GJ and ZZH Updates — February 19-25

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This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

02-19 → #WordOfHonor continued to trend on Twitter from the previous day.

→ Kangshifu posted a promotional video spoken by Gong Jun.

→ Kangshifu posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun posted six photos from his trip to Thailand. Caption: “Paid vacation 😎” He also posted them to his Instagram, caption: “Sawadika~ ☺️” and his Xiao Hong Shu, caption: “Pretending to be  On vacation~” Fan Observations:  -  Posting times were 17:02, 17:10, and 17:22 respectively, a kadian of the Word of Honor anniversary (02-22).  -  “Sawadika” is the feminine version of the Thai greeting, the masculine version should be sawadikap. In 2021, Zhang Zhehan used the feminine version in a pre-airing promotional video for Word of Honor.  -  The fact that two photos include very visible logos for the Kenzo clothing brand has people wondering if he has an upcoming endorsement with them.

02-20 → #GongJun and #WordOfHonor trended on Twitter.

→ Fresh posted a promotional video spoken by Gong Jun.

02-21 → #WordOfHonor, #2YearsWithWordofHonor, and #TheRealZhangZhehan trended on Twitter.

→ The Let’s Farm Weibo account posted two promotional images featuring Gong Jun.

→ The Madame Tussauds Weibo account posted six photos of Gong Jun, formally announcing their exhibition of a wax model of him. They also posted a WeChat article with a promotional video spoken by him.

→ The Instagram posted three photos of “Zhang Zhehan”.

→ Kangshifu posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun posted a photo of chili flavoured dried cuttlefish in his Supertopic. Caption: “Really delicious, not spicy 😭” Fan Observations:  -  The post was made at 21:46, a number which has popped up at least four times before between both Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan, though the exact meaning is not known.  -  The photo includes blue hydrangeas, a flower that has been associated with Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan since the latter’s 2020 mini concert. Fans used that to identify the location the photo was taken as an airport lounge area with only a single seat decorated with one such flower (which raises the question of why he was eating instant snack foods somewhere that serves food, but to each their own.)  -  Gong Jun has said in the past that he doesn’t like squid.

02-22 → 2nd anniversary of Word of Honor’s start-of-airing.

→ #WordOfHonor, #GongJun, and #ZhangZhehan trended on Twitter.

→ Gong Jun changed his Instagram pfp to the Thailand photo above. Fan Observations: Theories abound for why he chose that photo in particular. A popular one among CPFs is that it includes waves (浪 lang).

→ The Let’s Farm Weibo posted a clip from Gong Jun’s guest appearance.

02-23 → #WordOfHonor and #WenZhou trended on Twitter.

→ Gong Jun posted a clip of himself from Let’s Farm. Caption: “Shallowly make a big stew and reward everyone” This was reposted by the Let’s Farm Weibo. Fan Observations: He’s doing the “shallow” thing again; this is the third one this year, I didn’t notice the previous two (01-21 and 01-31). (Context: Between May and September of last year he kept using “shallow” (浅) in posts, making people wonder if he was doing a “nine shallow, one deep” joke, but nothing ever came of it. In total, he’s currently somewhere between 11 and 17 depending on what you consider to count.)

→ The Let’s Farm Weibo posted another clip featuring Gong Jun.

→ Deeyeo, a baby wipes brand, teased a silhouette of their new spokesperson (Gong Jun) on their Taobao.

→ The Madame Tussauds Weibo posted three more photos of Gong Jun announcing that tickets had gone on sale. Later they also posted the video that had been posted to their WeChat a few days earlier.

→ The Instagram posted five photos of “Zhang Zhehan” and “Xiao Yu’s” faces distorted by a water glass. Remember that joke a while back about how they would eventually post unedited photos of the body doubles and whalers still wouldn’t see anything wrong with them? Yeah.

→ A large number of marketing accounts on Weibo were muted or deactivated, including ones that participated heavily in 813 and ones associated with Yuehua. (Likely only a happy coincidence, but we can always hope.)

02-24 → Gong Jun’s guest appearance on Let’s Farm aired. [full episode (mtl eng subs)] [cut clips]

→ Gong Jun posted 19 photos from Thailand to his personal Weibo. Caption: “Straight from the official source!” He posted nine of them to Xiao Hong Shu, caption: “Accidental  Curly hair” and nine to his Instagram story (this doesn’t seem to have been saved.)

→ Madame Tussauds posted another two photos of Gong Jun.

02-25 → L’Oreal posted a promotional video spoken by Gong Jun.

→ The Instagram posted ten photos taken in a museum.

Additional Reading: → Flora’s daily fan news

<<< previous week || all posts  || following week >>>

[oyindamola-ajayi]

Canterbury's history as a market town dated to the medieval period. It's proximity to Canterbury Cathedral drew pilgrims, creating a demand for goods and services. Markets were held in areas like the High Street, where merchants traded items such as textiles, spices and foods . The city is layout and architecture were influenced by this bustling trade activities.

During the Tudor era, local craftsmanship thrived, Artisans created furniture, textiles and decorative items, contributing to the interior design of homes and public spaces.

The city's prosperity attracted wealthy patrons who commissioned intricate woodwork, tapestries, and stained glass for churches and residences (The Beany Information Guide 2023)

The 18th and 19th centuries marked significant changes in Interior design and retail. The Industrial Revolution led to innovations in manufacturing impacting the availability of mass- produced furniture, textiles and decorations. Local shops and workshops began offering a wider range of products. The growth of railways enhanced trade connections, allowing for the important of exotic materials and designs.

The late 19th century saw the emergency of department stores like Fenwick in Canterbury. These grand establishments offered a wide array of goods under one roof, becoming popular shopping destinations.

The Victorian era's design aesthetics, characterised by Ornate furnishings, wallpapers, and drapery, influenced Interior design trends in both homes and commercial spaces.

(machadoink.com 2021)

Throughout the centuries, St. Peter's Street remained a hub of activities, featuring markets, shops, and inns that catered to travellers and locals alike. The area's growth and development were influenced by Canterbury Vibrant retail scene. It's historical charm combined with it's convenient location near the city's landmarks,makes it a popular destination for tourists and locals seeking a glimpses of Canterbury past.

Today, St. Peter's Street stands as a testament to the city's history, offering a blend of old and new that captures the essence of Canterbury journey through time.

(Canterbury circa 1850(machadoink.com 2022).

[redhillconfetti]

Blog Post 31-12-22

A Year in Review 2022

As i sit here on the final day of 2022 to reflect on the past 12 months, i feel a little trepidation at the thought of starting a new challenge for myself in a year that was hard to get through.

When we came out of the pandemic there was a cautious hopefulness in a lot of small businesses about what 2022 may hold. We entered the marketplace again after two very tough years where many of our contemporaries were no longer there, whether succumbing to illness or the business not able to last multiple lockdowns, restrictions and even Brexit. Those of us still trading were thankful for every single customer and sale, for the support we received from friends, family and even strangers.

As the Winter months moved into Spring we started to see that the trend of wedding supply requests were slower than we’d traditionally seen, so we added more effort into a side enterprise we’d started in 2021; our Redhill Collectables vintage store.

We already had a brilliant network of house clearance businesses and thrift shops that would come to us with materials such as vintage papers which we’d use for wedding decor, but as disposal fees increased for them, we looked into taking more products off their hands, sorting, mending, and offering these items through our Redhill Collectables ebay store. This gave us the financial stability to continue to offer wedding supplies to those customers that were still looking to add a small sprinkle of magic to their special day.

In April i had been due to have an operation that would have changed my life and health for the better but was also major surgery, a procedure that took a lot of emotional and mental preparation. Just 24 hours before i was due to have surgery the operation was cancelled as the anaesthetists did not deem it safe for me to proceed with the operation.

When the warmer summer months encroached, the wedding season finally kicked off, with our home grown petal confetti being incredibly popular, as was our seed paper confetti. But with that I also had to deal with the mental aftermath of having my operation permanently cancelled. I took a step back from social media and it was with the help and support of my family that I worked through the feelings I was left with. One of the first ‘rules’ of business is to never let on if you’re struggling, but to be battling depression at the same time as trying to run a business and keep our heads above water financially was exhausting. When you’re self employed you don’t have the option to go and see HR, its you and just you, though i am forever thankful for the support those closest to me gave.

With the heat and chaos of summer giving way to the cooler Autumn months, the true toll of the Cost of Living Crisis took hold and became a firm realisation that the only way i was going to make it through the rest of the year is to increase my hours and to also make big changes. When i’d been sorting through some old boxes i’d stumbled upon a business projection plan i’d optimistically written in late 2019. The ‘goal’ was to increase turnover, slim down our product lines, and with careful planning and promotion get to the point where we could invest in a small electric vehicle to use for local deliveries and errands. The most shocking part of the projected numbers was as of October 2022 we were at that increased point financially, but every single ‘spare’ penny was now simply going towards household bills and groceries, and supplimenting any increases in courier costs as we started to have to work around the Royal Mail strike action.

By the end of November 2022 I was regularly putting in 70 hour weeks. This was obviously not sustainable whilst trying to be a parent, wife, and run a household too, and was the final deciding factor in the direction i wanted to head in for 2023. Now having had a couple of weeks to rest and recharge, i'm looking forward to how i plan to develop the products and services that Redhill Confetti offers, with more focus on weddings rather than generic crafts. Our vintage side of things will continue with Redhill Collectables, and for us to become fully focused on reducing waste and recycling.

Finally, the 'challenge' that i alluded to at the very start of this is my aim for 2023 to write a blog post weekly. This will hopefully be an insight into running a small business, the highs and lows, and a behind the scenes look.

Happy New Year!

Simone

X

[bane-of-technology]

I posted 17,812 times in 2022

That's 1,662 more posts than 2021!

54 posts created (0%)

17,758 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@he-needs-more-whiskey

@haberdashing

@iamjessemccartney

@burnmyself

@odalibuc

I tagged 3,389 of my posts in 2022

#dracula daily - 147 posts

#matthew swift - 92 posts

#disco elysium - 83 posts

#moon knight - 80 posts

#mp100 - 70 posts

#us politics - 61 posts

#everything everywhere all at once - 59 posts

#tma is an office comedy - 55 posts

#gnu terry pratchett - 52 posts

#discworld - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#the answer is bragging rights and so you can display your passports across your vest at the airport like a decorated veteran of bureaucracy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

silly post for mutuals breaks containment while you're at work moodboard

See the full post

70 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#4

OKAY tumblr I'll give you credit for this ad being more funny than obnoxious

96 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

#3

POV: he's taking you on the Tappan Zee to avoid the GWB toll

97 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

#2

Everything Everywhere All At Once spoilers out of context:

See the full post

568 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love this new trend of threatening to make a post get tons of notes.

The fear of going viral on this site is so at odds against the push to get your "15min of fame" on any other platform.

You don't want to be a household name on this site, you're sharing a podium with human pet guy for starters...

33,086 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fashionistagirlblogs2]

MARKETING UNIT 2

I decided to do my own research and look for images on pinterest that fit the theme for each era. I looked into finding images and colours that complement each other, this has helped my understanding of each era more.

THE VICTORIAN ERA

The fashion of the 19th century is renowned for its corsets, bonnets, top hats, bustles and petticoats. Women’s fashion during the Victorian period was largely dominated by full skirts, which gradually moved to the back of the silhouette. However, towards the end of the period, the less restrictive Aesthetic style began to emerge.

THE ROARING 20s

The fashion of the 20s The 1920s was a time for glamour, dresses were covered in beads and revealed more flesh than ever before To think 10 wears previously women dressed head to toe gowns with corsets.If you were in the night social ciass it was a time for partying and living life to the full. Society girls could be seen drinking, smoking and riding around in cars from party to party. La Garconne translates "the bachelor giri" or "the flapper*Cover of La Garconne (1922) by Victor Marquentte. The novel from which the fashionable look of the 1920s is belleved to have got its name. The illustration depicts the books scandalous heroine, Monique Lerbier, who cut her hair short wore men's shirts/ jackets and ties, and gave birth outside wedlock. In reality La Garconne at the time more of a derogatory term for women of loose morals newly liberated woman, freed from the ' Gibson girl' corsetry and S bend silhouettes of the Edwardian era, and the constraints on her lifestyle that such clothing, inflicted on her.Garconne look was evident primaniy in cut rather than fabric. The straight-cut the chemise dress was to become the dominant, line for day and evening wear. These fashionable young women from 1926 are wearing cloche hats and decorated drop waisted dresses with matching coats. The long string of pearts/beads was a must have. The Great Gatsby is a 1925 novel written by American author F.Scott Fitzgerald, the story primanly concerns the young and mysterious millionaire Jay Gatsby and his obsession for the beautifui Daisy Buchanan.The Great Gatsby explores themes of decadence, idealism, resistance to change, social upheaval, and excess, creating a portrait of the Roaring Twenties.(Roaring twenties influenced Ralph Lauren Gucci Maria garchvogel)

THE SWINGING 60s

The 60s are known as one of the most fashion conscious times in history. Styles that began in the decade have had a noticeable influence on the fashion today. Women’s fashion in the 1960s was full of change. Unlike the previous decades, the 60s were a time of emerging and diverse trends. From sophisticated and casual to bright colours and bold prints, the 60s embraced it all with stylish flair.

HARVARD REFERENCING

60s

Shrimpton J (1965) VOGUE WHERE THE ACTION IS [poster] available from All sizes | Vogue-June 1965 | Flickr - Photo Sharing! (Accessed: 28th November 2022)

Met S (March 1st 2022 photo from 1960s) 17 GROOVY HAIRSTYLES FROM THE 60S [POSTER] available from 17 groovy hairstyles from 1960s Teen magazine covers (metv.com) (Accessed: 28th November 2022)

White R (2019) 10 Gorgeous Ways to Jump on the 60s Beauty Bandwagon [poster] available from 10 Gorgeous Ways to Jump on the 60s Beauty Bandwagon (totalbeauty.com) (Accessed: 28th November 2022)

H&MUA T (2021) Women’s 1960s Makeup: An Overview [poster] available from Women's 1960s Makeup: An Overview - Hair & Makeup Artist Handbook (hair-and-makeup-artist.com) (Accessed 28th November 2022)

User P (N/A) WE HEART IT [poster] available from Discover vintage images on We Heart It (Accessed 28th November 2022)

Crisel H (2019) 16 Pictures That Prove Brigitte Bardot Is Still The Ultimate French Summer Style Icon [poster] available from Brigitte Bardot's Best Summer Style | British Vogue | British Vogue (accessed 28th November 2022)

THE VICTORIAN ERA

Charmaine Z (2013) Victorian fashion plate 37 [poster] available from Victorian Fashion Plate 37 | Charmaine Zoe's Marvelous Melange | Flickr (Accessed 28th November 2022)

Robert P (2021) London in 1901 - the End of the Victorian Era [poster] available from London in 1901 - the End of the Victorian Era - Hub Pages (Accessed 28th November 2022)

Centery R (2020) Women of The Victorian and Edwardian Era - Vintage Photography - 24-Trading Cards Set - NO Duplicates! Complete Set [poster] available from Women of the Victorian and Edwardian Era Vintage Photography - Etsy UK (Accessed 28th November 2022)

Alavezes N (2015) 23 Charming Photos That Prove The Victorian Era Had The Best Fashion [poster] 23 Charming Photos That Prove The Victorian Era Had The Best Fashion (Accessed 28th November)

THE ROARING 20S

(2015) womens street fashion of the 1920s [poster] Women’s Street Fashion of the 1920s ~ Vintage Everyday (Accessed 28th November 2022)

Hilary G P (2017) The Most Influential Fashion Trends, Decade by Decade [poster] Fashion by the Decades | Who What Wear UK (accessed 28th November 2022)

Women A (n/a) Womens accessory [poster] available from Women’s Accessories (wordpress.com) (accessed 28th November 2022)

Lombardi (2019) F. Scott Fitzgerald's Inspiration for 'The Great Gatsby' [poster] available from What Inspired 'The Great Gatsby'? (thoughtco.com) (accessed 28th november 2022)

[captainlongschlongsilversdong]

And just as an addon, I know nothing about fashion but I do know a bit about cherry picking, and I don't think just a selection of images frkm a few movies to talk about industry-wise trends is a great basis. I can think of plenty of one time examples of good costuming from the past 10 or so years.

There is the other, much higher budget Cinderella (2015) made just 6 years before the 2021 Cinderella, and that dress was stunning!

There was the netflix "the Crown" drama, (2016), which yes wasn't necessarily costume design in the same vein, but the amount of money they have spent to get their jewellery realistic must be eyewatering. I couldn't find numbers but just look at these babies!

I haven't seen many new movies since 2019, but if you want examples from 2020, there's "Emma" and "Ma Raineys Black Bottom". I think both did a great job with their costuming designs!

There are a ton of examples of good and bad costuming in the past 10 or so years, and that is also true for 20+ years into the past. Personally I like both the modern and the older costuming designs.

Capitalism has definitely ruined a lot, but without harder evidence (I can't find any sources for either "movies are being stingier on their clothing" or the opposite) I think theres too little to go off of, to say either way. Im tempted to go for the more reserved opinion that styles have just changed, frills and super intense decoration don't seem to be as popular anymore outside of lingerie, from what I can tell. I dunno though I've got zero knowledge in fashion.

the decrease in costuming quality over the last 20 years has been soooo precipitous & nauseating. i’m not even talking abt marvel’s cg supersuits or anything this time, look at the fabric quality, structure, layering, character, and craftsmanship of older costumes in 102 dalmations (2000) vs cruella (2021)

ever after (1998) vs cinderella (2021)

lord of the rings (2001-2003) vs the rings of power (2022)

this trend should upset you not just because it looks cheap, but because it suggests a strong anti-art and anti-labor movement in film and tv making. don’t forget costumers are unionized