#decided that this was in fact my business even when they told me otherwise and they didn't take too kindly to that

[fractangle]

i wear a wrist brace and do this too! one of my favorite lies to answer this with is "oh, i don't have a wrist. if i didn't wear this brace, my hand would fall off"

if you spend your life bitching and complaining about the fact people are 'expected' to engage in the dreaded pointless banal '''small talk''' instead of learning to trade pleasantries with the people around you, you will never know the true and heady joy of doing a dumb bit with a complete stranger and as a result your soul will remain small

[berryz-writes]

I'll try harder

11) Ends up in the infirmary a lot, Madam Pomfrey thinks he's a "troubled yet entertaining student"

Theo x reader

"Where is my boyfriend?" I asked Draco, my annoyance increasing with his obvious distractions so he didn't have to answer my question.

He gave me a once over, his cool gaze unaffected by my anger "Your boyfriend is currently busy. I'm sure you'll see him tomorrow...or in a few days depending on the situation"

I was going to pull my hair out if I didn't get a direct answer soon "Draco Malfoy if you don't tell me right now I will drag Pansy here and tell her you like her"

His blank expression didn't change except the flicker of annoyance in his grey eyes "And where did you receive that false information from?"

I smiled at him "Just because it's false doesn't mean people aren't going to believe it. Did you know all it takes is one little whisper for a rumour to be spread across the whole of Hogwarts?"

Draco smirked, crossing his arms "Blackmailing me, y/l/n? Looks like Nott does benefit you in some way."

"Tell me"

"He's in the hospital wing and before you run away to mother him, if I hear a single word about me liking that awful witch-"

"Your threats don't matter to me right now, Malfoy. But thanks anyway" I rushed off to where he had said Theo was, trying to rid my thoughts of everything that I imagined had happened to him. He was fine walking off the quidditch pitch and there were no serious injuries while he played so why was he there?

I knocked on the door, making sure it was loud enough for someone to hear. If the door didn't open I would barge in myself. Before I could do just that Madam Pomfrey opened the door giving me a sympathetic smile "Here to see Theodore?"

I nodded my head trying to see behind her to no avail. All I could see were a few drawn curtains and another few beds unoccupied.

"Go on in then, he's the third one." I rushed past her muttering a quick thank you. She was probably fed up of having me to see me at her door every other day.

I approached the third bed and pushed the curtains to the side. I didn't know what I expected but it wasn't Theo sat up reading a book with his head wrapped in white gauze. Otherwise he looked completely fine.

"Hey" I left a small kiss on his cheek and sat on the edge of his bed, waiting for him to answer the questions I was too afraid to ask.

He let out a sigh and placed his book near his pillow, shifting further to the left so I had more space on the bed.

"Who told you I was here?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in annoyance and confusion "That's not important. What's important is what are you doing here? Don't tell me you got into another fight"

He gave me a slight smile, his expression showing discomfort.

"Theo. Why? Why are you always fighting?"

"For the record I won the fight, sweetheart."

I scoffed "Well clearly not if you've got that on your head and your opponent isn't even in the hospital wing right now"

He grinned as if he found something funny "He's having a meeting with Snape that's why."

He wasn't getting the point. He just didn't seem to care that what he was doing was wrong and it affected others as well.

"What happened? I want the truth"

His smile dropped, becoming suddenly serious to when I asked for the truth.

"Well, the guy who asked you out the other day and you rejected him. He was talking shit about you so I decided to fuck him up a bit. You know, so he'd know that he didn't have the right to talk about you like that...no one does"

I sighed. The fact that he was fighting because of something said about me was nice of him but I didn't want him hurt because of that.

"Theo he said something about me. Not you. I don't want you hurt every time someone says a single thing against me"

He sat up suddenly, anger evident on his face "And why the fuck not? If he's going to talk about my girlfriend like that do you think I'm just gonna stand there and not do shit all?"

"But Theo your hurt because of it! I don't want that for you"

He slumped back down and didn't bother looking at me "I don't fucking care about being hurt. If I hear a single word against you-"

"Just ignore it!" I was getting annoyed now. Why was he so desperate to be hurt because of something I didn't even care that much about?

"Ignore it? Your fucking crazy if you think I'll ignore something like that"

I stood up ready to do something. Ready to shout at him, to push him off the bed, to do anything but sit there and tell him time and time again that I didn't want him hurt because of something so irrelevant. Tears welled up in my eyes, I tried blinking them away but instead a few fell down making their way down my cheeks.

"Well your good at ignoring one thing! Our fucking date that your missing because of your detention. Is that what you wanted?" I wiped the remaining tears from my face, anger coursing through my veins. Theo finally deigned to look at me after having raised my voice, something I rarely did.

His eyes widened in shock "I didn't realise. Fuck. I'm sorry Y/n, I didn't even realise and- I didn't mean for you to cry. I'm so fucking sorry"

"It's a little late for that isn't it. What does it matter when you've missed the second date this month because of some stupid fighting you can't control"

He leant toward me, reaching for my hand the warmth of his hand seeping into me. "I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry, sweetheart. What do you want me to do? I swear I won't fight again...unless the person deserves it"

I sat back down, the anger vanishing from me, Theo's comforting hand grounding me.

"Lay down with me. Please." He asked quietly, eyes full of sorrow.

I turned so I could lay down next to him his arm coming around my waist to pull me closer to him. He dropped a kiss to the top of my head "I really am sorry Y/n. I don't want you to be upset over something I've done"

I shook my head "I'm not upset. I just don't want my boyfriend to be in the hospital wing for half the year"

"I'll try harder" He whispered.

"Just try harder on the fighting aspect. Otherwise your perfect"

I smiled at him and the one he gave back made my heart melt. I loved him.

[daenysx]

I can't stop thinking about modern!aemond with his pregnant wife or with the baby, like him caressing her little bump, or massaging her when she feels tired

i wrote a little drabble for this, i hope it's okay <33

modern!aemond targaryen x pregnant fem!reader , fluff

you wrap your fingers around the cup of herbal tea aemond made for you minutes ago.

he's not sitting here with you, because he needs to make calls and work in his room. you told him it's okay, never liked keeping him away from his job. working is something he needs to do to keep his mind occupied, otherwise you think he'll be worried for you or the baby. it happened before.

your other hand draws absent-minded shapes on your belly. it's grown huge, to the point where you can't see your feet when you're standing up. it feels unbelievable sometimes, the fact that you'll be able to see your baby girl in such a short time. you will hold her in your arms, feed her and kiss her. it's gonna feel like a miracle, you're not familiar with miracles.

you are curious about the details, of course. not the giving birth part, you try to keep your mind away from it these days. but what will she look like? doctors are saying she's healthy and everything's okay. will she have aemond's hair? maybe your eyes? will she read lots of books when she's grown like her dad, or will she like obsessing over fictional characters from tv shows just like you did years ago? she'll be perfect, you know that much. a mix of aemond and you. perfect.

you can't wait to meet her for many reasons but it would also be nice to stop being pregnant and get rid of the aches in your body. it's not easy to carry a baby, no matter how excited you are, physical aspects cannot be ignored for too long. you feel swollen everywhere, it's hard to leave the bed or couch by yourself, and sometimes even your face doesn't feel like your own. you think it's normal to feel that way most times, but- not always. not today.

the couch beneath you is usually comfy, not now, though. it feels like something's digging up your spine, you tilt your head back to the pillows with a low groan. baby girl moves, she's a bit restless today. you want to move your legs, maybe walk a little to relieve the numbness in them. well, you can't leave the couch by yourself. tough luck.

your hero steps in, and you manage to take a nice breath. aemond comes to you, his face is unreadable. he tries not to let work bother him, especially when he needs to be okay for the three of you now, but you sense him feeling stressed over it. it looks like today will be a small disaster for each member of his little targaryen family.

"what's wrong?" aemond asks, the moment he sees your discomfort. "are you hurting anywhere?"

you hand him the tea cup, only took a few sips from it before. "can you help me up, please?"

"of course, my love." he softens immediately. it's time to be a good husband, he's not gonna sulk over business deals just now. "here, let me hold you." he says, supporting your body to lift you up.

it's nice to feel your legs again. you hold aemond's hand, his other arm supports your waist to give you something to lean back. you look up to him to get a kiss. it's needed desperately, and he's quick to give you what you want. your belly gets in the way a bit, but aemond is tall enough to still tower over you, your lips meet just right.

"do you wanna walk with me?" aemond asks. "let's go to kitchen and find something to eat for you."

"a walk would be nice." you say, accepting his lead. "she's moving too much today. it's feels like she's angry at me or something."

"she's just impatient." he defends his girl. "she'll be here soon."

"yes." you say happily, stepping into the kitchen. "we still need to decide a name, though."

you lean against the kitchen counter as aemond takes out some fruits from the fridge. he starts preparing a whole plate of them, pineapples and strawberries. just what you like.

"i mean, at least we have options." he says. "we just decide what feels right when we get to see her."

"mm, okay." you say, not having enough energy to discuss the name thing over again. it's hard to pick it, even harder to stop yourself from thinking another option and trying to decide which will be better.

aemond is done with the fruits, he washes his hands and gets a towel to dry them before reaching for you. "you look like you need to get some sleep." he says with a little smile on his face. he cups your cheeks to kiss your chin.

"but you just made me snacks." you tell him. snacks are important.

"they'll be here when you wake up." aemond reminds you. "i'm done with work today. we can go to bed and wake up at dinner time if you want."

normally it's a shock to hear these words from your husband, he doesn't like spending hours on sleeping during the day. after you started getting more tired though, he tries to stay with you as much as he can. you like having him in bed even when you can't cuddle properly, it's the way he makes you feel safe. also, quality time for your tiny family.

you nod, holding his hand again to go to bed. walking seems a bit harder now, you wrap your free hand around your belly. you're thankful for having aemond's clothes on you, nothing feels restraining at least. you sit on bed and try to find a nice position to lay down.

you don't like having covers on you but aemond still pulls the thin blanket on your legs. he lays down after, keeping his body as close to yours as he can. his hand finds its usual spot on your belly. he's gentle with the way he rubs your skin. you close your eyes, your poor muscles give up.

"why is my girl so restless today, hmm?" he asks softly, leaning to your baby as he talks to her. "you need to give your mommy a break, little love, i don't like seeing her so exhausted."

aemond kisses where your baby's head must be and you feel a sudden comfort spreading all over your body. "keep talking to her, please." you say. you love how he manages to calm both you and your baby.

"you'll be here soon." he says, his fingers meet with her as she moves. "we'll get to choose you a name, and you'll wear your tiny clothes. we need to pick up a teddy bear for you, and decide your favorite color to get you nice dresses. you need to be here to do all that, okay?"

you reach for aemond's hand when you feel sleep taking over you. he keeps talking to your baby, and she finally settles down. he doesn't sleep, he doesn't need to. he can only watch you and stay with you just in case you need anything when you wake up. he gives both of you occasional kisses to remind you of his presence.

[mieluscious]

little nerd. satoguru

ෆ pairings : gojo x female reader x geto

ෆ genre : smut, pwp

ෆ word count : 2k8

ෆ miel's note : part 2

ෆ warnings : mdni. meandom!gojo, nerd!reader, brat tamer!geto, voyeurism, public sex, exhibitionism, hate sex (between you and geto), oral (f. received), reader is a brat for geto, squirting, slight degradation, slight dumbification, cockwarming, hair pulling, pussy slapping, face grabbing, spit play, geto secretly loves the fact that you hate him, they're both bullies, gojo uses a lot of cute petnames (princess, baby, pretty), they love to hear you moan . . . ໑ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

"w-wait toru. they could see us-" you didn't even have time to finish your sentence when gojo lifted your skirt, pulled your panties on one side and pushed his cock into your greedy pussy making you threw your head back against his shoulder. you had spent your day studying at the library before your boyfriend decided to join you. at first he had come to ask you if you wanted to eat with him and when you told him to wait because you couldn't stop studying at the moment he sat down next to you until he decided to grab you by the hips and sit you on his dick. 

"princess." he grabbed tightly both of your thighs and tugged at your stockings to slap them on your soft skin, making you arch your back against his muscular torso. his lips was against the back of your neck, kissing and biting it slowly. "i wanted to eat and you dare kept me waiting. now you have to keep me busy until you finish, otherwise i might fall asleep, do you understand?" he placed one hand on your stomach and the other on your hip to lift you up with him and sit more comfortably in the seat beneath the two of you, when he sat back down a moan immediately came out from between your lips as you felt his cock hit right against your g-spot. you grabbed his hand, which was still on your stomach, and moved your hips slightly against his cock, wanting to feel it a little more against your sensitive spot. you heard him groan against your ear, he slapped the inside of your thighs near your pussy. "behave." he grabbed your face tightly making you gasp. "you know i won't be ashamed to fuck you in front of all these people so don't test me. be pretty and sit nicely on my dick. don't you dare to move y/n." you nodded and apologised while you tried to get back to work.

it's been a few minutes now and gojo was on his phone probably texting fucking geto (you hated him) you felt a bit of jealousy but decided to ignore it. gojo was finally letting you study and you didn't want to waste your time but his fat cock was still inside of you and you were really needy to move your hips so it was difficult for you to think straight sometimes. you were trying to solve a math problem when gojo started laughing because of something he saw on his phone, his laugh made his whole body vibrate and bounce you gently on his cock you dropped your pen and leaned back on the table, your mouth opened to let out a silent moan. you looked up to see that some people were getting up to leave the library, leaving just the two of you and 3 other people. 

you turned your bust slightly towards gojo and gently grabbed the jacket of his uniform. you needed to hold on to him because of the delicious feeling of his cock deep inside of you could make you fall off the chair at any moment. "toru we should stop i can't study like this and people are there fuck-" he looked into your eyes without any emotion and slowly began to move his hips against yours, making his cock rub between your walls. you tightened your grip on his jacket, a small mewl escaped your lips and you tilted your head to the side without taking your eyes off him. 

"it's cute when you think you are in charge in this relationship" he put his phone on the desk and grabbed your hair, arching your back against his chest. "my little princess deserves a punishment" he slipped his free hand under your shirt, touching your bra with his fingertips. the warmth of his hands made you unconsciously press your pussy against his cock, he caught the skin of your shoulder between his teeth to muffle his sudden moan. you gasped and sighed an apology but it wasn't enough for gojo who slapped your pussy roughly. you brought your hand up to your mouth and bit down on your fist to keep yourself from screaming across the library. "i warned you." he withdrew his hand from under your top and reached for his phone, he quickly typed something and threw it back on the desk before grabbing your hips and started slow movements with his hips making you bounce on his cock slightly but enough for you to mewl loudly and arch your back against his chest, firmly grasping the arms of the chair beneath you. you tried to meet his thrusts, fucking him back. 

your head jerked back against his shoulder as you felt gojo grab the underside of your thigh opening you up a little more. you could now hear the erotic sounds of your lovemaking, making you blush, you squealed when you heard him laugh deeply against your ear. "cute" he pulled his cock out of your pussy and pushed it brutally back into your hole, touching your g-spot. this time you moaned loud enough to meet the gaze of a girl studying right in front of you, a pretty girl with almond eyes and golden hair. "mhmh princess..i felt your pussy tighten, do you like this girl's eyes on you?" you caught your lip between your teeth when you felt your tits being grabbed by gojo's big hands "let's give her a show then". gojo's expert hands pinched your nipples and played with them, making them hard. your mouth was half opened letting out little moans that startled the girl who still had her beautiful eyes on you, you noticed that she was swallowing with difficulty when her gaze dropped on gojo's hands kneading your breasts. she squeezed her thighs and you noticed her buds hardening under her little lace top, gojo noticed this too, as he let out a mocking laugh. "you're so pretty. look. even girls want to have a taste." gojo's laugh made the girl blush with embarrassment as she gathered her things and ran out of the library, leaving just the two of you and a few other people who still hadn't noticed you. 

"wow satoru you made her leave. you're so mean." you tensed at the sound of his voice, you turned your head slowly behind you and discovered geto walking nonchalantly towards you and gojo who’s smiling mischievously as he saw your face distorted by anger and incomprehension. geto looked at you and smiled in the same way as gojo, his head tilted to one side. “what’s wrong y/n? you’re not happy to see me?” 

“you know she hates you suguru.” gojo wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed the back of your neck, hugging you from behind. “she’s a jealous little baby” he rolled your hips against him making you moan again, geto lowered his gaze to your breasts, which jiggled as you arched your back against gojo's chest. 

“y/n you’re so mean to me” you couldn't take your eyes off him and geto could see in your eyes that you didn't like him and that you didn't want him here at all when you were literally sitting on your boyfriend's dick. geto, who was behind gojo, walked until he was in front of you, resting his lower back against the desk. “you have such a pretty girlfriend satoru, im jealous” you could feel gojo chuckling as he bit the back of your neck. 

“right? i wanted you to see how cute she is when she’s full of my cock” and you realized that geto was there simply because gojo had sent him a message when you were in a weak position earlier. you grabbed the arms of the chair firmly and glared at geto, who was getting more and more annoying by the nonchalant way he was looking down at you, and although you loved your boyfriend you couldn't help being angry at him for calling his best friend, the one you hated the most in this fucking school. your mouth opened in a perfect O as you felt gojo move you over his cock a lil bit faster until you were bouncing up and down on it making you almost fall on the desk before geto caught you to push you with two fingers against gojo's chest. you drew your knee up to your chest, trying to steady your foot on the chair under the calculating gaze of geto, who couldn't take his eyes off your skirt, which rose with each thrust of gojo's hips, revealing your cotton panties with a little bow on it. cute.

“d-don’t look” you whispered, and geto's eyes looked back into yours. your chest rose and fell rapidly, making your tits jiggle. geto slowly approached you and placed his hand right next to yours on the arm of the chair, the sudden closeness made you sink deeper against gojo's torso who started liking the inside of your ear making you moan and close one eye in surprise. the way you arched your back in pleasure against gojo and the brutality of his hip thrusts made you brush the tips of your tits against geto's chest, who smiled wider and wider at the effect it had on you. he caught your chin with his free hand and brushed his lips against yours. his eyes never leaving yours.

“why do you hate me so much little nerd?” he pressed his thumb against your chin, tilting your head back slightly. “answer me, i want you to say it.” 

“i h-hate you because toru always talk about you, it’s always about you” gojo slowed the rhythm of his hips, he chuckled and pressed his face against your neck, watching geto out of the corner of his eye. he slid his hands down your inner thighs, grasping them firmly. “i fucking hate you, you and your fucking annoying face” geto let go of your chin and put his hand on the other arm of the chair, imprisoning you with his body. his face didn't move, looking down at you coldly. 

“open your mouth.” gojo's fingers pinched the soft skin of your thighs, silently ordering you to listen to geto, you gasped as you placed a hand on gojo's thigh. you brought your attention back to geto, with eyes filled with hatred you whispered a silent "fuck you" before opening your mouth. an evil smile stretched geto's lips.

“what a good girl.” he formed a glob of spit in his mouth before spitting it right between your lips. you swallowed without taking your eyes off him, doing your best not to show him that you liked it, but when you heard gojo chuckling behind you, you already knew your efforts were wasted. fuck him.

“what was that baby? i felt your pussy clenching around me so tight i thought you were going to rip it off” gojo grabbed your hair firmly and pulled your head back making you squeal with pain. he pressed his lips against your ear so only you could hear him. “you hate him but deep down you'd like him to fuck you in front of me, right?” he inserts two fingers into your mouth, turning your face back to geto, who doesn't miss a beat with a smirk on his lips. 

you moaned louder and louder as you felt gojo bounce you wildly on his cock. now you were sure everyone in the library had noticed what you were doing behind them, with you bouncing on gojo's lap and geto standing between your legs. it was clear you were fucking in the back of the library. at this thought you felt your cheeks flush you could feel other people's eyes on you but knowing that geto and gojo didn't give a damn about manhandling you in front of everyone excited you even more against your will. you turned your attention back to geto who couldn't take his eyes off your breasts which were jiggling in all directions because of gojo who was fucking you with inhuman speed, you arched your back moaning louder when you saw his finger going for one of the buttons on your shirt. he unbuttoned the first one and brought his eyes up to yours, you wanted to squeeze your thighs under his burning, dark gaze, trying to put pressure on your clit, when he caught your knee in mid-air with his other hand, brutally spreading your thighs to reveal your pussy being bullied brutally by gojo's cock. your skirt was now pulled up over your hips and geto couldn't help but find you adorable at this moment. your half-opened eyes never left his, your face was all red with embarrassment and the way the moans came out almost shyly from between your luscious pink lips made his cock even harder. he brought his face even closer to yours, your nose pressing against his.

“satoru tell your girl to stop looking at me like that” he unbuttoned another button of your shirt, revealing your pretty breasts in your lace bra. he smiled as you panted against his lips. “i'll end up thinking she wants me to teach her how to love me” you caught your lip between your teeth under his burning gaze. so pretty.

“you should teach her then. do it.” gojo grabbed each side of your shirt and tugged, popping the last buttons and revealing your half-naked chest to geto, who grabbed your hips and helped you bounce on gojo's cock making him moan against your ear behind you. geto moved his hands up to your breasts, pressing his two thumbs against each of your hard buds under your bras, making you grab the sleeve of geto's jacket with one hand and squeal with pleasure.

“s-suguru-” they both froze for a moment, it was the first time you'd ever called geto by his first name, usually you just said geto in a cold way and this was the first time they'd ever heard you call him suguru. especially this time when you were moaning so erotically and seeing you moan his first name like that drove him fucking crazy. he grabbed the back of the chair behind gojo and presses his forehead to yours as his hand slides quickly between your legs, catching your clit between his fingers and making you cry out in surprise. his dark eyes pierced yours, which were now filled with tiny tears. “say it again.” you tried to say his name again, but the way gojo ferociously pushed his cock against your g-spot at each thrusts almost made you roll your eyes back in your head. geto shook your clit between his two fingers quickly, he grabbed your jaw with his other hand and pressed your cheeks firmly, making you open your mouth even wider. he took the opportunity to spit 3 times in your mouth, making gojo grunt against the back of your neck at the sensation of your pussy tightening around him. “are you enjoying your lesson y/n? are you learning anything?. fuck she’s so fucking pretty satoru” you arched your back immediatly as you felt gojo grab your hips to lift his knee and rest his foot on the chair fucking you even more deeply like an animal, you bounced so hard on his cock that you wondered how the chair didn't break.

“s-suguru-y-yess..ahh-” you tried to catch your breath but it was almost impossible to speak when you had two men sandwiching you and manhandling you in front of other students. “t-toru..i-im gonna-..im gonna cum-”.

“yeah? my princess wants to cum? fuck. then cum on suguru’s face baby.” geto grabbed your throat and knelt down to suck your clit between his pretty lips and it was when you felt gojo grab your panties to rip them that you closed your eyes and squirted all over geto's face, screaming their names until your throat broke. gojo moaned loudly while he finally squirted in your pussy, which was now dripping with both your seeds. 

you opened your eyes again to see geto's soaked face with a broad smile on it. he straightened up and rested both of his hands on the arms of the chair. you turned around and wrapped your arms around gojo’s neck hugging him and smelling his hair. “ i still fucking hate him.” he smiled at geto and tenderly stroked your head while geto pinched your bare ass.

“i’ll teach you, pretty, don’t worry.”

© 𝒎𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 ! mdni — do not steal, modify or repost my work pls don't make me mad im a human just like you. ☆⌒(>。<)

[forest-hashira]

Naked in Osaka

hi friends! this is my submission for @pixelcafe-network's "challenge friday" that they do every other week! the prompt this week was a random song selected by shuffle, and my assigned song was "Naked In Manhattan" by Chappell Roan, and after a bit of debate (& some help from friends), i decided to go with shoko for this fic. it's a quick thing, but it was fun! i hope to write more for female characters in the future, and this was a good jumping off point 💜

read on ao3 | wc: ~2.6k | cw: gender neutral reader (no pronouns used, but implied fem reader based on song lyrics), alcohol consumption, making out, implied smut at the end (kinda?), implied first sapphic experience (thus the pride divider), shoko calls reader "cute", minor background stsg

“Please leave your message after the tone.” Beep.

“Hey Sho, I know you just landed, and I know you're probably busy, but I would love to see you, so call me when you can.” 

You sighed softly to yourself as you ended the call, tucking your cellphone into your pocket. It wasn’t exactly a surprise that you’d gotten Shoko’s voicemail – she’d been out of the country on a trip and had only just gotten back – but it was still a bit of a disappointment. You hadn’t been able to see her much since you’d graduated from Jujutsu High together, since you’d moved to Osaka just a few weeks later. She was good about returning your calls and texts, so you tried not to think about it too much.

Despite how infrequently you got to see your friend in person, she never really left your thoughts. In fact, you probably thought about her more than was normal. The two of you had been pretty close in school, spending a lot of your time together, especially when Gojo and Geto were off on missions or otherwise wrapped up in each other. You’d been friends with the boys too, of course, but your one on one time with Shoko was where you formed all your best memories of your school years. Around third year was when you realized your fondness for the other girl may have been more than just platonic, but you never allowed yourself to dwell on it or bring it up to Shoko, telling yourself it was no different than the way the boys felt or acted around each other, so there couldn’t be anything weird about it.

Then again, the boys had gone on to start dating after graduation, and last you’d heard they’d gotten engaged, so… Maybe it was worth revisiting those feelings again.

The sound of your phone ringing pulled you out of your thoughts, and when you saw Shoko’s contact picture – a slightly blurry selfie she’d sent you nearly a year ago while she was out getting drinks with her friends in Tokyo, her cheeks a little flushed and a soft smile tugging at her lips – on the screen, you felt your cheeks begin to burn, as if you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing tonight?” Shoko asked, and you couldn’t help but smile. Your conversations with her never really seemed to stop or start; instead, it was more like you’d been having one long conversation with her from the day you’d met.

“Nothing,” you told her, idly beginning to pace your room. “What’s up?”

“Figured I’d come see you if you were free. That okay?”

You bit your lip for a moment, suddenly feeling very flustered. “I-I, uh… Yeah! Yeah, that’s fine. That sounds great, actually.” It was obvious even to you that you were stumbling over your words, and you cringed slightly at how weird you sounded.

Shoko only chuckled quietly at you. “Careful,” she teased, “if you act too excited you might give me a bigger head than Gojo.”

That made you laugh. “As if that could ever happen.”

“You’re right,” she agreed, her words airy with laughter. “Does that udon place down the street from you still do carryout?”

“Yeah, as far as I know.”

“Cool. I’ll cover dinner if you’ll cover drinks.”

“Wine or sake?”

“Surprise me.”

She hung up without saying goodbye, though that wasn’t unusual. You glanced at the time, and though you knew you had a few hours before she’d be there even if she’d already been on the train when she called you, you already felt like you were running out of time for all the things you needed to do before she arrived. 

After a few moments of internal scrambling, you figured out a rough order of operations: popping into the liquor store to grab Shoko’s favorite wine, then a mad dash to make your apartment presentable, then finally a shower before she arrived. The trip to the store didn’t take very long, and you tucked the two bottles of wine you’d grabbed into your freezer to chill while you cleaned and got ready. 

Thankfully, your apartment wasn’t as much of a mess as you’d convinced yourself it was, so cleaning it didn’t take long at all, and you were able to hop in the shower within an hour of getting off the phone. The last thing you wanted was to smell when you saw your friend for the first time in over a year, and you knew you were sweating from nerves. It was ridiculous to be nervous about seeing her, you knew that, but this time felt different, somehow. Maybe it was because you’d been wondering earlier that day if you really did have feelings for Shoko.

Whatever the reason was, you were desperate not to smell like nervous sweats.

After thoroughly scrubbing yourself with your best-smelling body wash, you hurried to your bedroom to get dressed. Overwhelmed with options, you threw on some underwear and paced your room, feeling like a nervous teenager.

It’s just Shoko, you reminded yourself, sitting down on your rug. She’s not gonna care what you’re wearing as long as you’re wearing something. A soft groan escaped you then, and you flopped onto your back and covered your face with your hands.

Your pity party came to an abrupt end when your phone chimed. Pushing yourself up just enough to grab it from your bed, you saw a text from Shoko, letting you know her train was about to arrive, and that she’d be at your apartment in half an hour at most. 

The message made your heart flip in your chest. How long have I been laying here? How long was I in the shower?? Instead of letting her in on your internal panic, you shot back a simple “see you soon!” text, then leapt up from the floor, scrambling to find clothes that were comfortable but also somewhat presentable. Eventually you settled on a pair of pajama shorts and a loose t-shirt, then stepped into the bathroom to make sure your hair wasn’t a complete disaster.

You’d only just finished putting your hair out of your face in a way you were satisfied with when you heard a knock at the door. Heart skipping a beat again, you took a deep breath to steady yourself, then hurried to answer the door.

Shoko stood there with a small smile on her face, an overnight bag slung over her shoulder and the takeout in her other hand. “Long time no see,” she greeted, stepping inside as you moved aside. “Is it cool if I go change real quick?” She set the takeout on your table as she spoke, then turned to you and arched a brow slightly.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get the drinks out and everything while you do that.”

Her smile widened the tiniest bit. “Perfect.”

She made her way to your bathroom with her overnight bag, and as she shut the door, you pulled a bottle of wine from the freezer and two glasses from the cabinet. They weren’t fancy, and they didn’t match, but you told yourself it was better than drinking out of plastic cups.

Once the glasses were out, you opened the bottle, pouring a fair amount into each of the glasses, though one had a bit more; Shoko’s tolerance had always been a bit higher than yours, so you were sure she would want to drink more than you did to make sure you had the same buzz. 

You had just started pulling the takeout from the bag when Shoko came back from getting changed, and your heart fluttered a bit when you saw her. She wore a tank top with a big picture of Gudetama in the middle and a pair of yellow shorts to match. It reminded you of the pajama sets Gojo had gotten everyone when you were in high school – Cinnamoroll for himself, Kuromi for Geto, Badtz-Maru for Shoko, and Keroppi for you – though you knew it wasn’t the same set from back then, since she wore a different character now. 

“You’re staring,” Shoko teased, bumping you lightly with her hip once she was standing beside you. “Do I really look that hot in my pajamas?”

Though her words left you feeling more than a little flustered, you just scoffed at her and rolled your eyes. “They remind me of the ones Gojo got us when we were in school, that’s all.” 

“He got me these ones, too,” she said with a small chuckle. “They were for my birthday last year.”

“Why’d he pick a different character than the one he picked when we were in school?”

“He said the penguin reminds him too much of Megumi now,” she said with a shrug, and you both laughed. You could see the resemblance too, though; both had the spiky black hair and the deadpan expression, and imagining Gojo telling the boy that nearly made you die laughing all over again, but you kept it to yourself for the moment.

Just as comfortable in your home as she was in her own, Shoko opened a few of your kitchen drawers, grabbing soup spoons and chopsticks for the both of you. “We should watch a movie while we eat.”

“What do you want to watch?” you asked curiously, carrying the takeout to your living room and setting it on your coffee table.

“What was that American movie we watched all the time in school?” she asked, following after you with the utensils and wine. “It was about those high school girls who wore pink.”

“Mean Girls?”

“Yeah, Mean Girls!” she grinned, setting everything down before sitting on the floor, gesturing for you to join her. “God, I don’t know how we never got sick of that movie.”

“Because Regina George was hot,” you replied without thinking about it.

The words drew a laugh from her, and she bumped you with her shoulder. “Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

A small, relieved chuckle left you at her teasing words. “I’m sure we could stream it somewhere if you wanna watch it again.”

“Please, I could use a good throwback.” She took a long sip from her glass, then opened the lid on her bowl of udon.

With a nod, you grabbed the remote for your TV, sipping from your own glass as you flipped through various streaming services looking for the movie. Eventually you found it, not even caring that you had to pay to watch it; it was worth it to have a night in with your friend, especially when you knew it would make her laugh and smile more.

Once the movie had started, you finally got into your own food. You smiled when you saw that Shoko had gotten your order perfect without even asking. She’d memorized it in school, but it made butterflies flutter in your stomach a bit to know that she’d never forgotten it, even after so much time apart.

For the most part it was quiet as you watched the movie, only the soft sounds of occasional slurping and the faint clinging noise of glass on glass when Shoko topped up your wine glasses. Every once in a while, one of you would make a small comment or joke, or you’d quote the lines along with the movie before bursting out laughing. It felt like being back in school, huddled in one of your dorm beds, sharing drinks from a flask shoko had managed to sneak on campus.

At some point, you set your glass down after finishing the contents. It had been your second glass – or maybe your second? Shoko had topped you up enough times that it was hard to be sure – and was enough to have everything feeling a little fuzzy around the edges. Leaning back against your couch, you turned your head towards the other woman, smiling to yourself as you watched her, rather than the movie.

She’s so pretty… even prettier than when we were in school. When did she get so pretty?

“I’ve always been this pretty.”

Shoko’s words startled you a bit, and though it took your brain a moment to catch up, you realized she was responding to your thoughts. Only… you must have said all of them out loud, rather than just in your head. The realization had your face burning with embarrassment. “Oh my god, Sho, I—”

“It’s okay,” she assured you with a smile. She settled into the same position as you, turning to face you a bit. “‘M glad you think I’m pretty. Always thought you were cute, too.”

The whole world came to a screeching halt around you. “…You did?”

“Yeah,” she said easily, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Her words weren’t slurred, but you could see that her movements were loosened a bit from the wine. “Thought you knew that.”

“No, I… How would I have known? You never said anything.”

“I saw the way you looked at me. Thought you’d only look at me like that if you knew.”

You blinked, confused, and more than a little worried. “…How did I look at you?”

Her expression softened at that. “The same way I caught Gojo staring at Geto when Geto wasn’t looking, before they got together.”

The words sent a mixture of shame and hope swirling around your tipsy mind, and before you could really contemplate your next move, you heard yourself asking, “Can I kiss you?”

Shoko’s cheeks flushed a bit, and she nodded, shifting closer and wrapping her arm around your waist. Your eyes widened as she came into your space, and when you felt her breath on your lips, your own finally started cooperating with you again.

“I’ve never kissed a girl before.”

“I’ll teach you,” was Shoko’s only response before she kissed you. She was surprisingly warm, and it only took a second for your eyes to slip shut and for you to melt into her, returning her kiss eagerly. As she kissed you, everything else in the world faded away, the only sensation you were aware of was the feeling of her lips on yours.

It didn’t take long for her to press in closer, tilting her head a bit to deepen the kiss. Stumbling and a bit inexperienced, you did your best to move with her. She held you closer with the arm around your waist, her free hand coming up to cup your cheek, guiding your movements the tiniest bit. Time slowed and stretched out, the moment between you endless in the best possible way. You weren’t entirely sure when her tongue came into the mix, but next thing you knew you were parting your lips to let her in. 

A small sound escaped you as she deepened the kiss further, turning slightly to press you both into the couch a bit more. Still struggling to keep up because of the alcohol in your bloodstream, the movement threw you off a bit. Reluctantly, you pulled away for a moment, needing desperately to catch your breath. 

Shoko smiled down at you as you panted, faces only inches apart. “How was that for your first kiss with a girl?”

“I really wanna kiss you again.”

She laughed softly. “Is kissing all you wanna do tonight?” She arched a brow curiously, her thumb tracing your bottom lip lightly. 

“I don’t know how to do anything else,” you breathed, “but I'd love to learn.”

“Looks like I've got some teaching to do, then. Lesson one: kissing with tongue.” She leaned in again, capturing your lips in another passionate kiss. You were more than willing to let her take the lead, though; there was no one else you’d rather have teach you everything, anyways.

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for playing music in my shared apartment?

🎵🎧 so I can find it

I live in a shared apartment with two other girls (L and S). It is a student apartment because we are all university students, but it's not provided by the school. Just an apartment complex that markets to students.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and he comes over on weekends sometimes and we hang out or go to dinner, do homework, and yes, have sex. I have tried to be the ideal roommate. I never use my speakers to play music, only headphones. I have shushed my boyfriend when he laughs super loud during TV shows. Meanwhile, both of my roommates have a habit of playing loud music, burning candles and incense, having half a dozen people over and doing karaoke super loud and late at night with the only warning "having some friends over later."

Last weekend, my roommate L allowed her friend over to work on their small business stuff in the common area (L was not at the apartment, she let the friend in and then went to work). The friend had the TV playing in the living room, and my boyfriend and I keep pretty quiet when we're having sex. I guess we were louder than we thought, because I got a text later from L basically reading me the riot act for making her friend uncomfortable and being inconsiderate. The friend seems nice, I didn't intend to make him uncomfortable. L also said that there have been several times that she or S have heard my boyfriend and I, and that it's "fucking nasty" and I need to be more considerate of the fact that we share a living space. I thought this was pretty hypocritical given that I am almost always super quiet because the walls are thin, and neither of them bothers to keep the noise down.

But I'm not trying to start a fight, so I told her I didn't realize we could be heard and I would make an effort to prevent it in the future.

So. Last night was Valentine's. (Wrote this when the ask box was closed lol) My boyfriend and I went out to dinner, spent some time playing a board game in my room, and then I turned on some music on my speakers, turned it up loud enough that it would have masked normal conversation volume, and we had sex. The music was loud enough that, unless we spoke directly into one another's ears or raised our voices, my boyfriend and I couldn't hear each other.

I got a furious text this morning because I only played music when it was obvious that we were banging, so that made it gross to L, like I was broadcasting what I was doing to the rest of the apartment. I told her that she should do what I did and buy some headphones, and otherwise she could decide whether she preferred to hear my music or to hear me getting laid.

She said I'm disgusting and to grow up.

On the one hand, it WAS obvious that I was playing the music to mask the sounds. I don't like music during sex, but I was trying to be considerate (even if I was pissed). I don't think that I should have to stop having sex in my own home that I pay for, especially when I am already making efforts to keep it pretty quiet. L seems to think that I shouldn't do it at all while someone is home, but S is almost ALWAYS home, and tbh, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to have some intimacy with my boyfriend in my own home, especially on Valentine's Day. But I'll admit, part of me felt pretty spiteful & vindicated when I started the music, so AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Darkness Lust | IDW Helex x f!robot reader | NSFW 18+

Word count: 2300+

Warnings: Cnc, Smut, ( oral, rough interfacing and semi-public ) and size difference. NSFW 18+.

Notes: Order up! So, this took a completely different turn. Unsure if it got weird along the way, but here it is, and I have no regrets. Wanted to move into darker themes with my writing so hope this turned out. Added cnc into the warnings just to be safe. Another thing, know the request states for them to almost get caught but I had to let them get caught. Hope you all enjoy.🥰

Cnc - Consensual non consent

☕ Coffee

Helex saved you, at least this is what you keep telling yourself over again, and you felt you owed him for this. Your escape pod from a ship had crashed onto an unknown planet, and it was by chance that he found you, injured from the crash but alive. You're brought back with him and when you are online again you find yourself in an unknown place and your wounds are patched.

When you first meet Helex he terrifies you. His enormous form is at least three times bigger than your smaller figure, multiple arms latched on his frame, and a cavernous torso where you can feel his internal heating elements boiling even from a distance, his own personal smelting pool.

You knew who he was but only from horrifying stories. A member of the Decepticon Justice Division, a group of torturers employed by Megatron to hunt down and deal with traitors.

You're an autobot though, they were only interested in decepticon traitors, right? You don't want to find out the answer you decided. All you can do is thank him politely and ask for a safe return back home. His answer is what seals your fate.

"You're home."

Helex wouldn't let you leave and the one time you did try to escape you don't get far, and it's his enormous figure, intense gaze, and the threatening glow from his torso that reminds you to not anger him, otherwise things won't end well for you at all. So for now, you stay put, much to your misery.

Now, here you are, trapped in a place you wanted to be far away from. You weren't threatened, you weren't hurt, in fact you were provided with average care, Helex never let you starve and made sure you were comfortable, at least as best as you can be in such a place.

As the days went by they continue to drag out, and you lost track of how long you've been there. A lot of the time you get bored and try to keep yourself busy however you can, but it's a struggle, mentally.

Often you would hear the echoed screams, and that's when you needed to truly escape. You didn't want to hear them, and the only place the screams can be blocked out is in the medic bay. Nickel allows you to clean the bay often, showing some pity you think, and it also keeps you distracted from everything else.

Now, in the medic bay again, you do your best to find even the smallest of things to tidy or clean up. You honestly don't know how long you've been at it, but you feel the thundering quacks slowly increase, and glancing up towards the door you see Helex entering. Nickel must've told him where you are.

He's silent, as you are too, no greetings offered from either of you. You never know what to say to him, and you've unsure what he is thinking either. He moves towards you, causing you to grow nervous as he gets closer before stopping beside you, your optics focused on the bench in front of you where you had just cleaned.

"Are you afraid of me?" His sudden voice cuts through the air.

"Sometimes." You answer through a shaken whisper before meeting his fierce gaze. "Do you want me to be afraid of you?"

"I'm not sure." He sounds confused, and his answer doesn't really help calm you. "You're intriguing."

You're unsure what to say to that, and so you turn your gaze back to the bench just to avoid his piercing gaze. Yeah, you're scared of him, but he hasn't hurt you, not yet at least, and you're fully aware what he was capable of which is why you don't push him.

Helex continues to stare before he moves again, this time moving his large servo towards your face and using the back of his broad digit to caress against your cheek plating. The contact causes your venting to hitch, followed by a soft whimper out of fear. The affection is new and you're unsure how to react.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"What do you want?" You can't help the tremble in your vocals.

"I want you."

You turn your helm at him and he's suddenly on you, firm broad lips latching onto your own fiercely causing you to let out a startled whimper, muffled by his lips as he lifts you up onto the bench and pins you down onto the surface. Your hands push up against his chassis, giving weak attempts to get him off you, but it's pointless. His size and strength prove that, and you feel vulnerable and helpless as he forcefully kisses you.

His second pair of arms suddenly tug your legs apart, giving him the opportunity to press against you more and deepen the kiss. You feel his glossa push between your lips and coil around your own. His glossa isn't like others, much longer and hotter, a magna bitterness lingering as he fills your mouth and explores, causing you to let out a choked wince. Is that energon you taste? Did he just consume energon? Something told you that you don't want to know the answer. He shows no intention of stopping, and in fact he seems to be liking it as he lets out a low moan against your lips, his strong servos pinning you still as his second pair roam across your thighs and waist areas.

Your fighting attempts cease and you're left with no option but to let him, and much to your confusion your entire frame starts warming up from his intense actions. This shouldn't be happening, you shouldn't be enjoying this, yet you find yourself moaning lowly, your mouth full of his extended glossa.

Helex removes himself from the kiss, followed by his glossa that descends out from your mouth covered in saliva. You let out a forced vent and stare at him with wide optics, a bit stunned by his action, and he is only getting started.

He lifts your bottom half up making you gasp out loudly, leaving you to hang upside down just about from the berth you sat upon and you grip your servos across the edges. You feel his hot vents against your legs and panel, servos holding you tightly, right before feeling his snake glossa sliding against your covered valve.

"W-what are you doing?!" You're scared, feeling the hot texture against your closed panel and inner thighs, and much to your shock you're slowly growing more warm, whimpering in pleasure as he holds you hanging there, right before you automatically feel your panel retract on its own due to your growing desire.

He likes that, and takes his chance to latch onto your valve and devour you, thick glossa already sliding in deeply as he lets out a lingering moan tasting your fluid sweetness.

Another startled mewl erupts from you as you feel his glossa reach far deep through your channel, further than any spike before you've had. This shouldn't be real, yet it's happening, and reality sinks in as he starts to frag you with his glossa, sliding back and forth through your depths.

Your body responds through shivers of growing arousal, your valve building with fluids as you can't help but clench around his sliding glossa, letting out lingering soft moans as you crumble under him. Helex enjoys your taste and your reactions, letting out a vibrating satisfied groan against your valve that rocks through your frame.

The angle is strange, being lifted half off the berth leaving your shoulders and helm to barely rest against it while he holds you up by your spread legs and waist to hold you against him.

Constant weak mewls erupt from you over again as his glossa plunges through your channel, thighs spasming violently while you servos grab hold onto the edges as you feel yourself start to roll your hips against his glossa. You can't help yourself, it feels amazing!

This leaves though when you feel him pull away, glossa leaving your valve causing you to whimper in protest lightly. His hold is still tight as he lowers you back down, only for you to realise than that his panel had retracted, revealing his ridiculously large pulsing spike, tapping directly onto your valve, and this is when your fear quickly boils up again.

"W-wait, wait, you're too big-!" You're bluntly cut off when he ignores you and presses his spike against your valve firmly, the fat tip slowly breaching and invading your channel, thickness stretching you widely while he continues to press forward.

Your servos grip at his broad ones firmly latched against your hips while his second pair hold your legs apart, holding you in place, leaving you with nothing but to accept his spike that slowly fills. Letting out a choked sob you feel the burning pleasure build at your valve, every pulsing ridge rubbing forward and creating a bulge that slowly expands against your valve and lower soft armour.

Taking so much of him surprises you, you didn’t think your smaller frame could take so much.

His heated vents hit you, almost a burning sensation, as he firmly presses himself against your valve fully, able to stretch you fully while letting out a deep groan release from his chassis. Your optics shutter close while letting out soft winces followed by moans of desire rushing through you. You feel his entire length pulsing rapidly through your channel, expanding through the bulge created before you manage to online your optics to look at him.

He's staring right back, scorching gaze piercing through your small figure. He's so powerful, dangerous. There's no love or care in his face, only hunger and the growing arousal through him. This is only for pleasure, whether he intended for you to enjoy it you don't know, but you still enjoy it.

Helex gives a blunt thrust, shaking you against the berth as another choked sob leaves you, surprised by his sudden action as you grip your servos into his own even more, digits digging into his soft armour that will leave dents. He does it again, and again, slowly, feeling that broad spike moving through your channel thoroughly, before you feel his movements pick up as he tugs you by your waist against his movements, shaking the berth and yourself while you let out repeated gasps and moans.

Your sensitive node is stimulated against his rough armour while you continue to let out outbursts of desire rocking through your frame, clenching around his thrusting spike and feeling him buried deep within you. Despite your position, who it was, you don't care. You love the pleasure boiling through every inch of you and the tight hold he possessed, claiming and using you for his pleasure which you find oddly arousing.

His movements increase, forcing out stuttered vents from you over again, legs spread wide by his secondary arms and the heat radiating from him clouding your trembling frame. You feel his spike pump into you fully over again, twitching violently, vocal sounds growing louder, and you know he's about to overload, and it's no surprise to you that you feel yourself growing close to crashing through your own.

Moving your servo you rub at your node as you're unsure if he would care if you overload or not. Doing this causes your back to arch and accept every rough thrust against you, mewling loudly as you feel your overload coming crashing through you while clenching around his thickness. Helex lets out a deep groan that erupts from his chassis, feeling you clenching hard, giving a couple more jerky thrusts before spilling his thick trans fluids deep in you.

You feel the warm sticky fluids filling you to the brim, filling your chambers, channel and expanding up with his spike against your lower half. Some leak out with nowhere else to go while you hear it drip onto the floor, only low whimpers as the afterburst of pleasure continues to linger.

Helex keeps himself within as he admires and savours every moment, rubbing his primary servos across the bulge against you. He drew out a lot of your energy, and you silently admit it was a pretty good frag, your overload was quite marvellous. You're both lost the moment you don't hear someone entering the room.

Nickel clears her vocals to get their attention, making you both snap your gazes on her as she tads her peda against the flood with crossed arms, not impressed by the scene.

"Seriously? You two have your own private room to fool around in. I don't understand why you insisted on letting it happen in my medic bay."

All you can do is gasp and look away, feeling horribly embarrassed that you've been caught in such a way. You wince a little as you shift, still feeling him buried deep in you.

"Sorry, Nickel." Helex says softly. Despite her size, she somehow put the other members of DJD in their place, and learned to respect her.

"Well, chop chop, get cleaning. I don't want to be stepping in either of your fluids. Place better be spotless when I return." She turns on her pedas and heads out.

Letting out a low groan you feel his spike start to leave you, and flop out leaving your valve gaping and leaking your mixed fluids. Your optics are fuzzy but you feel his hot frame leaning across and sharing a surprisingly tender kiss with you. He tucks himself away, sharing one more glance with you, before turning and leaving the room.

You're left alone, sitting up against the berth as you give yourself a moment to gather your thoughts. It seems you're left to clean up, of course. Venting out deeply you do your best to clean yourself, close your panels, and start to wipe down the berth and floor.

Helex confused you, but you shouldn't expect too much from the large mech. You don't know what to expect anymore, or if you were ever going to escape. A part of you doesn't want to though, just so you can keep Helex's spike all to yourself.

[kikyoupdates]

Heartbreaker ⭑˚💔⭑ 𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑢𝑝

bnha x f!reader

reverse harem, isekai, my hero academia x fem!reader, slowburn

You awaken one day with virtually no memories. The only thing guiding you is some strange system that likes to dictate your every move, and for some reason, it insists that you make certain people fall in love with you. Desperate for answers, you decide to go along with its demands. After all, how hard can it be?

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Compared to Katsuki, Izuku was much easier to get along with.  

He struck you as rather timid, but despite the fact that you’d only just met, something told you that he was a good person. You weren't sure why, but you could just tell. And at the very least, you were off to a good start since you’d helped him out.  

“Are you okay now?” you asked.  

Izuku nodded hastily. “Y-Yeah. It’s no big deal. Kacchan’s always getting angry at me for one reason or another. But I appreciate you cutting in. Most people wouldn’t. Actually, it’s the first time anyone ever has.”  

Kacchan? 

You supposed it was Katsuki’s nickname or something. While you didn’t know the exact nature of their relationship, the hateful glare Katsuki had given you when you’d intervened—plus the way Izuku had basically cowered from him—was enough to tell you that they didn’t get along.  

In that case, how the hell were you supposed to win both of them over? Katsuki had lost his shit when you’d helped Izuku out. The whole thing was giving you a massive headache.  

But again, you remembered that you had no choice. There was no way around it but to follow the system’s orders.  

Anything was better than being tormented for eternity.  

“Anyways, I’m really sorry for bothering you,” Izuku blushed. “You’re probably busy. I didn’t mean to keep you for too long.”  

“I’m not busy,” you insisted. It was technically true. You’d been in the middle of completing your 5-kilometer run as part of your daily task, but otherwise, you had all the time in the world. Besides, one of your targets was right in front of you. You needed to take advantage of this opportunity and get to know him as much as possible.  

And if the system was actually telling the truth... the more people you got to fall in love with you, the more of your memories would return, right?  

That was a hard if, though.  

“Do you want to hang out for a bit?” you blurted. You hoped you weren’t coming across as too forward, but you couldn’t risk him leaving right now. You had no idea when you would meet again.  

Izuku’s face was only getting redder. “H-Hang out? You mean... with me?”  

“Of course. There’s no one else here, is there?”  

For reasons you couldn’t quite explain, he seemed in utter disbelief that you wanted to spend time with him. It didn’t really make sense. He seemed like a perfectly nice person, unlike his hotheaded counterpart.  

Eventually though, Izuku swallowed and nodded his head.  

“If you’re sure you don’t mind, then yes,” he said, smiling shyly. “I would like that.”  

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮.]

[+𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

Yes!  

This was going a lot better than you’d expected, and you had Izuku’s kind nature to thank for that. You weren’t sure exactly what happened when you maxed out your love points, but for now, you seemed to be on the right track.  

You grinned. “Okay, well, what do you want to do? I’m not super familiar with the area, if I’m being honest. Is there anywhere we can sit down for a little while and chat?”  

“Ah, there’s a park nearby. Would that be alright?”  

“Sure! Lead the way.”  

You walked side-by-side, and you quickly came to realize that Izuku wasn’t the best at striking up a conversation. His shyness made him more likely to shrink on himself, but despite the silence that settled over the two of you, it wasn’t unpleasant. Even just being next to him had a way of lifting your spirits. 

You caught him stealing glances at you every so often, and his blush had yet to desist.  

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲.]

[+𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

Now it was your turn to blush. Jeez, these updates were useful as far as knowing how your actions were affecting the people you wanted to get close to, but it was a bit weird being so aware of their thoughts. You felt guilty about it, to a certain degree, even though it was completely out of your control. 

“It’s just over there,” Izuku eventually perked up. “There are benches where we can sit down. How does that sound?”  

“Sounds perfect,” you beamed.  

Izuku returned your smile with one of his own, and he looked more confident doing so this time. You had to admit that he was pretty cute. He had a way of coming across as endearing. It was nice that he was one of the people the system wanted you to win over, because you imagined you would probably grow to love his company.  

Before long, you’d taken a seat on a park bench. Izuku was wary of keeping a bit of distance between the two of you. Most likely not because he didn’t want to be near you, but because he was too embarrassed to get close.  

“So,” you began. “Since we still don’t know each other very well... maybe you could start by telling me what kind of things you’re into?” 

Izuku paused for a few moments, lacing his hands together, then gave you a cautious look. “Um. I-I like heroes. I think they’re super cool.”  

You were officially lost.  

Heroes? What does he mean by that?  

As if predicting your thoughts, the system decided to chime in.  

[“𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤𝐬? 𝐂𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜. 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬. 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐛. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐬.”]

Interesting. You supposed it made sense. There were bound to be people that exploited their powers, but also those that kept them in check.  

Based on Izuku’s expression, he seemed quite eager to get into this topic, even though he was trying to suppress his excitement. He probably idolized heroes, and for good reason. It sounded like they were actively risking their lives to help others. It was an admirable job.

“Heroes are awesome,” you seconded. You obviously meant what you said, despite having no memories to guide you.  

Izuku’s lips split into a grin. “Which hero is your favorite?”  

“Uh.”  

Balls. You were perfectly content to pile onto his enthusiasm, but you didn’t actually know any heroes by name. If you didn’t give him a convincing response though, he would realize you were just talking out your ass.  

Mercifully, the system came to your rescue.  

[“𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐇𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦.”]

“A-All Might is really cool,” you stammered. “He’s just, um... awesome. I like him a lot.” 

It turned out that was the right answer, because Izuku’s grin widened tenfold. 

“I know, right!” he gushed. “He’s the most amazing hero out there! I’ve watched pretty much all the content there is on him, and I’ve got tons of his collectibles too! He really is incredible. The way he saves people with a smile, no matter what. He’s honestly my idol. I want to be just like him when I grow up! And—”  

Izuku stopped mid-sentence, a violent flush spreading across his freckled cheeks.  

“S-Sorry,” he said shamefully, looking away from you. “Sometimes I get a bit too excited when I talk about heroes, especially if it’s All Might. I bored you, didn’t I?”

You smiled encouragingly. “It wasn’t boring at all. I think it’s good to be passionate about things. Heroes do amazing work by keeping people safe, so why wouldn’t you be excited to talk about them?”  

“Oh. I guess that’s true. It’s just that most people can’t be bothered to listen.”  

Izuku’s smile slowly returned, and you heard a familiar ping.  

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧.]

[+𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

Wow. This is going really well.  

You tried not to feel too guilty. The system aside, you were enjoying your time with him. The things you were saying weren’t shallow or purely motivated by personal interest. You didn’t have any memories, and you were terribly alone and afraid. You would be elated to have a friend to stand by you amidst all of this.  

“If I’m being honest,” Izuku continued, looking a bit more hesitant now, “I really want to become a hero myself. It’s an ambitious goal, though. I know it won’t be easy. I'm worried it might not even be possible, actually.”  

You frowned. “Why is that?”  

“Because, I... I don’t have a Quirk.”  

Once he uttered the words, he looked over at you fearfully, as if he was worried that you might react with complete disgust. Naturally, you had no intention of doing that, and technically speaking, you didn’t have a Quirk either. The system’s powers were apparently completely different from the rest. In that sense, you and Izuku were alike.  

The system had told you that heroes used their Quirks to protect the public, but that didn’t mean that you needed a Quirk in order to save others. The definition of a hero, from what you knew, was someone who was admired for their bravery and self-sacrifice. You didn’t necessarily need outlandish powers to be worthy of that admiration.  

“A person doesn’t need a Quirk to be a hero,” you said, and you fully believed those words. “I think it has more to do with what kind of person you are. How much you care for others and want to help them. If becoming a hero is something you really want, and it means enough to you that you’ll work hard to achieve it, then there’s no reason you can’t be one. That’s my take on it, at least.”

You worried that you’d come across as a bit insensitive. It sounded like most people had Quirks, so Izuku had probably felt like an outsider for a very long time. But you still held true to your words. Your gut was telling you that he had what it took to become a hero. Perhaps it was a bit baseless, but you felt very sure of this fact.  

Izuku had been silent for a while, but out of nowhere, tears welled up in his eyes. 

Shit! 

“Don’t cry!” you spluttered. “I’m sorry, uh... I wasn’t trying to upset you! I shouldn’t have spoken like I knew everything about you when we’ve only just met—” 

“No,” Izuku sniffled, wiping his tears away. “Please don’t apologize. I was just happy. No one’s ever said that to me before. Not even my own mom told me I could become a hero after I found out I was Quirkless. I was just overwhelmed by emotion. I-I've been told I cry a lot, so don’t worry. Your words made me incredibly happy. Thank you so much, [Name].”  

He proceeded to smile through his tears, and it was so genuine that your heart throbbed in your chest.  

[𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐨 ��𝐨𝐮.]

[+𝟒𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

[𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬: 𝟏𝟎𝟎/𝟏𝟎𝟎]

Holy cow! That was a lot of points. And I just maxed them out. Did I do it? There’s no way it was that easy, right?  

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:  

[𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐮𝐩! 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 “𝐚𝐜𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞” 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 “𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝”. 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝.] 

[𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬: 𝟎/𝟐𝟎𝟎]

Ah. That made sense. The system said the end goal was for your targets to fall in love with you, but that obviously couldn’t just happen in the blink of an eye. You would have to gradually develop your relationships and advance bit by bit. It was still a relatively fast progression, though. You imagined this was only the case because Izuku was such a nice person. Getting someone like Katsuki to become your friend would be infinitely more challenging.  

You decided to test that the system’s analysis was actually correct and leaned closer to Izuku, smiling gently.  

“There’s no need to thank me. I just said what I was honestly thinking. Anyways, this might seem a bit forward, but... would you like to be my friend? We could maybe exchange numbers and keep in touch. Only if you want to, of course.”  

Izuku was as red as ever, but nodded eagerly. “Yeah! I’d love that! Um, I-I mean... yes, please,” he chuckled sheepishly.  

It seemed like the system was pretty spot on. You supposed for the most part, you could trust that its status updates were accurate. There was another problem, though.  

You didn’t actually have a phone.  

[“𝐈 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐩 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭. 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫.”]

Izuku was waiting patiently with his phone in hand, so you felt pretty silly pulling out a pencil and piece of paper, but for now, it would have to do. 

“My phone broke recently,” you decided on. “I’ll just write down your number and add you once I get a new one.”  

“Okay!”  

Just like that, you’d officially gotten your first phone number since waking up without any memories. You had a friend now. Even though there was next to nothing you knew about yourself, this small fact comforted you a great deal.  

You carefully tucked the paper with Izuku’s number on it back into your wallet, making a mental note to buy a phone as soon as possible.

You and Izuku stayed a while longer to chat. He gushed more about different heroes he liked, and apparently, he was so dedicated about his dream of becoming a hero that he kept various notebooks with detailed notes on hero analysis. He promised to show you the next time you met up, to which you nodded eagerly.  

You were having so much fun that time passed faster than you realized. Ultimately, your stomach grumbling was what brought you back to reality. You hadn’t had a bite to eat in nearly a full day, and you were starting to get lightheaded.  

“I have a few things to finish doing, so I should probably leave now,” you said, even though you honestly would’ve liked to stick around longer.  

Izuku looked a bit dejected too, but he realized this wasn’t the last time the two of you would meet. “Thank you for staying with me,” he smiled. “I had a lot of fun. I-I hope it was fun for you too.”  

“It was! I feel really at ease around you,” you grinned. “I can tell we’re going to be great friends.”  

Izuku blushed again. “T-Thank you for saying that. I feel the same way. Um... make sure to message me once you get your new phone so that I can add you to my contacts, okay?”  

“Of course. You’ll be the very first person I add to my list.”  

He seemed pleased with your response, and you eventually waved each other off. Despite Katsuki getting mad at you earlier, all in all, the day was going really well.  

Now, then. It was time to finish up your run and get some damn food, otherwise you were seriously going to collapse.  

[𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝! 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐲 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰.]

“A pillow, huh?” you sighed. You supposed you shouldn’t have expected much, considering how simple the task was. Oh, well. It was better than nothing. At least you had something to rest your head on while you slept on your futon.  

After finishing your daily task, you gorged yourself on some fast food. You didn’t have the patience to sit down at a restaurant and wait for a full meal, but it did a good job of filling you up. You felt a lot better now. 

You had a lot of errands to attend to, so you would have to hit up the mall soon. You definitely needed new clothes alongside a phone, since you only had the one outfit you’d woken up in. You took a shower and threw your clothes in the washing machine once you got back home, and it was tedious, to say the least. Especially since you were now completely naked apart from the covers of the futon you were curled up in while you waited for your clothes to be ready.  

There wasn’t anything for you to really do in your painfully empty house, so you just laid down and stared up at the ceiling.

[“𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬. 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.”]

[𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭.]

You scratched your head. “What’s a skill point?”  

[“𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.”] 

“Why would I need to fight?”  

[“𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞, 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞. 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐛𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬, 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧. 𝐎𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐚 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭, 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.”]

Once again, you had plenty of questions, but no concrete answers. Oh, well. Becoming stronger wasn’t a bad thing by any means. Especially if there were villains with powerful Quirks looking to cause trouble. There was certainly no harm in being able to protect yourself.  

Based on what the screen displayed, the options you could choose from were strength, agility, and vitality. They all seemed pretty self-explanatory, and you figured you would benefit the most from having a bit more power.  

[𝐀𝐝𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝟏) 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡?]

>>[𝐘𝐄𝐒]

Once you confirmed your selection, a strange light surrounded your body. It was just for an instant, but you felt different somehow. You really did get stronger, even if only a little. 

“Cool,” you said, bringing the covers closer to your chest. “It’s nice to know that I can get stronger over time. Right now though, I just really want some clothes. It isn’t fun just laying around while naked. I’m starting to freeze my butt off. Also... you can see me, can’t you?”

[“𝐈’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐮𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭. 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬.”] 

“Why are you making me sound like I’m some kind of nudist? Jeez.”  

You let your head rest on the pillow you’d just gotten. It definitely was comfy, you had to give credit where it was due.  

All in all, a lot had happened today, but you were slowly making strides. Now that Izuku was your friend, you weren’t completely alone anymore. And hopefully soon, your memories would return. You wanted to remember.  

Even if you didn’t like what you saw.

[𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]’𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞:  

>> 

Power: 2/6 D  

Speed: 1/6 E  

Technique: 1/6 E  

Intelligence: 3/6 C  

Cooperativeness: 5/6 A  

Confusion: 100/6 S+  

>>  

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒:  

𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 (𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝): 𝟎/𝟐𝟎𝟎 

𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 (𝐚𝐜𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞):

(Additional entries in progress...)  

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[autistichalsin]

I'm writing this letter to my parents and posting it here because I'm never going to send it to them. And I want to post it somewhere.

Dear mom and dad:

For so long I've told myself, with most of what you did (minus mom actively abusing me for years when she was drinking) that you did your best. And honestly, I do still think that was true. But I also deserve the right to say: your best wasn't fucking good enough. Not by a mile.

Mom, you physically, emotionally, and otherwise abused us for years. You used everything as an excuse. Drinking. Trauma. Me reminding you of dad who you were pissed at for starting an emotional affair. But I guess me undergoing trauma through you was never an 'excuse' to talk about it since you always screamed at me for talking about it with anyone outside the house since that was 'private family business'. Bullshit, you just didn't want anyone to know what a bad parent you were. Dad, you let this happen. I know she was abusing you even worse than me. How many fucking times did I watch her hit you? But you know what? You still had a responsibility to protect us from her and you never fucking did. Not once. The best I ever got was you giving me permission to leave the house all day when she was hungover and screaming at me. Fucking thanks a LOT, dad. If you couldn't stand up to her when she was doing that shit to us/me, you could have at least had the decency to divorce her. "But I'm scared if I divorce her she'll drink herself to death" well great, thanks for deciding for me that I can and should endure abuse to save her from her own choices. That definitely didn't create any kind of complex in me or give me severe problems asserting boundaries because I then started to feel like if anything happened after I cut an abusive person out of my life, it would be my fault. Nope. No issues with that. Thanks a fucking lot.

Thanks, mom, for never teaching me (and my siblings) ANY life skills, not cooking, not doing laundry, not driving, because you "wanted me to need you so I would never leave" and thanks a fucking lot, dad, for not stepping in, saying "no that's fucked" and teaching us anyway. Really great parenting. Instead of disagreeing with your partner's shitty parenting decisions, just cosign them and go "well she's my wife". Do you feel no shame at all at the fact that none of your kids learned how to cook until they moved out (and the one still left with you is in his mid 20s and doesn't know how)? How does that not fucking mortify you? Your kids didn't know how to do more than nuke a burrito and that fucking means nothing to you?

Thanks a lot, mom, for repeatedly accusing me and dad of incest when you were drinking, because I was closer to him than you. And then, years after getting sober, hitting me with "I'm sorry, I never had a dad growing up so I didn't know how to deal with you having a good relationship with him" LITERALLY FUCK OFF SO HARD are you literally fucking telling me you had kids and anticipated we would only have a relationship with you and not him? Actually don't answer that, I know for a fact you did because guess what, grandma fucking told me you were jealous of dad doting on me as a literal fucking baby because you felt like it was a sign he loved me more. YEAH MOM, he is going to love the new baby more than you, actually! That is what parents are supposed to do when they think the universe doesn't fucking revolve around them! Also, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH for screaming at me every time I did literally anything with him that didn't involve you, guilt tripping me about "loving him more than you". First of all, that wasn't how it worked back then, but second of all, YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR made it so that yeah, I fucking do love him more than you now. You know why, mom? Because he never said that he wished he could kill me. Or how about the time you got mad that one year we had money around my birthday and he got me Elton John tickets, and you screamed at him for not getting them for your birthday next month instead (even though you'd already been) and decided the best fucking reaction to that was to HIT HIM while I watched? Not only fucking abusing your husband in front of your kids, but making your kid, you know, internalize a message that they should try to be as invisible as possible at all times but especially on their birthday so that people they loved wouldn't get abused for it, seeing as that was the SECOND TIME you abused that man over his birthday present for me? But no, it's fucking all about you feeling like he loved his kids more (WHICH HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO) so fuck me, I guess. Fuck you.

And you know what, mom? While you were wailing that you were so victimized by him and I being close, you sure went out of your way to show favoritism to my fucking sister. Never missing a single one of her music performances but stopping going to mine after she quit. Missing EVERY SINGLE ONE OF my track meets. Yeah, I finished in last place in all of them, but I fucking loved doing it and wanted to fucking share it with you. Big fucking mistake. You got her a cello and private lessons with money we didn't have. You got the entire family to pitch in and help send her on a school trip, then the next year when I was old enough, you told them all I only played to be like her so that they wouldn't help so I wouldn't get to go on the trip. When I said I was hurt you missed my meets, you expressed bafflement that "I've heard of people in their 40s getting mad at their parents for that, but I never heard of anyone complaining while they were still young." When I told you about your fucking golden child sexually assaulting me, AFTER sexually assaulting my younger brother, telling you how she LICKED MY FUCKING NECK, you laughed and said "to be fair, I fantasized about your neck too." What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Do you actually think sexual abuse is funny when your golden child does it, or did you just want ME to think it was a joke so she wouldn't face any consequences for it? How about the fact that when the fact that she fucking RAPED my little brother, the son you were SUPPOSED to be able to pretend to give a shit about, you said that it didn't happen and I put lies in his head so his therapist would diagnose him with PTSD, implying I traumatized my OWN BROTHER just to get revenge on your golden child? How about the fact that you screamed at me for getting other family members to bring him to the police (where he was then laughed out of the station, which you obviously cared not at all about) but not doing the same when your BIL assaulted you, screaming at me that it was my fault that charges weren't pressed against him, when you were a GROWN WOMAN who could have filed the charges yourself, making me feel like it was MY FAULT that happened to you, and then trying to walk it back? Playing like you were some fucking paragon of responsibility and kindness for LATER coming back to me and saying it wasn't my fault? Too fucking late, mom. Thanks, though, for the decade of self loathing.

How about the fact that both of you decided you were "done" parenting when I was 15? My little brother was fucking 11 and he still needed you. Do you not feel even the tiniest bit bad that three of your four kids dropped out of high school? And the only one who finished- ME- still had to repeat a year? And that you promised me that if I finished this online program, because you were SO DESPERATE to see one of your four kids get a diploma (and had already written off my little brother instead of getting him fucking help, fucking fantastic job on that one) that we would go to the graduation ceremony on the other side of the state, then didn't because you blew all the money we had on cigarettes, alcohol for mom, and scratchy lotteries for dad? Remember how after that, you still tried to talk me into putting on my cap and gown and taking pictures at the park so that you would have pictures? (To your credit, you didn't push it when I said HELL FUCKING NO. Granted, I also didn't tell you the full truth that it was sheerly out of spite, because if I didn't get a graduation, no way in hell did you deserve pictures of an event that didn't happen.)

Hey, how about that one??? How about the fact that you fucking normalized addiction for me all my life, so that after watching you guys blow all our money on that shit, to the point we LOST OUR FUCKING HOUSE (yeah, real convenient to blame the 2008 recession when the foreclosure happened in 2010!) and after so many nights once I turned 18 when mom would drink and dad would bring me to the casino for a fucking break, how about the fact that I started struggling with it too? And then after I once lost my entire paycheck gambling, I came to you saying I'd realized I struggled with it too and entered GA and talked to my counselor about it so it would never happen again (and in fact while I have relapsed on gambling I have never blown more than $30 in a gambling binge since that day), and then you proceeded to FORGET it, and when I came home to visit you REPEATEDLY suggested going to casinos? I don't even use COOKING WINE when I visit because I care so much about mom's sobriety, but you can't fucking REMEMBER that I struggle with gambling long enough to not do that? I CALLED YOU AFTER THE SUPER BOWL saying that I was buying myself an imported plushie from Japan as my reward to myself for not relapsing, and you still can't be bothered to remember? But you sure as fuck remember my sister doesn't drink!

Oh, and speaking of you guys always fucking forgetting that I am hurt-able just as much as you are and am in fact my own person and NOT your fucking fixer! How about the fact that you repeatedly act surprised EVERY TIME I tell you I have anxiety? "YOU have anxiety?" YES! AND YOU ARE THE REASON I FUCKING HAVE IT! How can you be surprised I have anxiety when I literally spent a week in the hospital as a teen because I was suicidal. Literally how can any of this be a surprise. Did you think it just fucking went away? No, all that happened is that I stopped talking to you about any of it. Especially the fucking self-harm, on account of my sister starting to drink and do meth, and then starting to join you, mom, on terrorizing me. Did you forget the night she poured her beer on me, screamed at me that I was a 'faker' because she couldn't see me self-harm scars, and threw bits of meat at me because she wanted to upset me as a vegetarian? And the fact that you still let her stay with us after that? You must have been fucking thrilled to have a partner to fucking torment me with, mom. And then you both had the fucking nerve to mock me because I hid in my room all day and only come out for meals or for my classes at the community college. I was hiding FROM YOU, actually!!!

Speaking of addiction, how about you fucking smoking in the car constantly growing up, even despite me and my little brother being asthmatic. While constantly whining that the world is so hostile to smokers because we don't want to inhale your fucking poison. Thanks for the elevated risks of cancer from your secondhand smoke, really appreciate it.

Also, mom, fucking joke's on you! Remember those nights you'd fucking scream at me for not being girly enough? "Why don't you act like a real girl for once?" when I wouldn't start shaving my legs when I was going to take a swim class? "How can you be a girl if you don't do girly things, is it your long hair that makes you a girl?" Well fuck you, I'm not a girl. Eat my ass. I'm never telling you I'm not though. Even if I trusted you to be normal about trans people, I still remember how you fucking used my coming out as a lesbian to earn yourself brownie points online years after the fact. "My daughter told me she was gay, and I told her I already knew, and then she started to cry happy tears!" Bitch, I never once cried happy tears for you for any reason. What actually happened was that you and dad had a "cool, what do you want for dinner?" reaction, which I appreciated- BUT YOU FUCKING RUINED IT by trying to exaggerated it and then use it to get praise. So fuck you.

Also, hey, remember those times mom would throw me out of the house, often in the cold with no coat, and you, dad, would just let it happen? Fucking great times. Remember the times she threw things at me and you just said "leave the house as long as you can, I'll calm her down later"? Fucking wonderful. Thanks for the fucking support, dad, really.

Remember the times I'd take on your abuse, mom, to protect my younger brother? Remember the times I'd warn him to go hide and you'd scream at me for "interfering with your parenting"? And then you got mad when he started to see me more as a mom than you, and every time he had a discipline issue you'd yell at me to go deal with it because "you want to be his mom so bad, go be his mom" Remember the time I protected him, you screamed at me to leave, and then called up my grandma, told her I was attacking YOU and to call the cops (which she thankfully didn't do), kept the phone on while we were fighting so it would sound like I was the aggressor, pulled my hair, and fought so hard with me that it pulled my shirt off? This leading to my grandma labeling me a psychopath, threatening to say "what kind of person I really was" to the rest of the family, and leading me not to speak to her for years?

Remember when you, mom, heard me talking to my aunt making plans to move in with the in another state, and you wailing so hard that you were so sorry and you'd do better, only to stop the instant those plans were off the table?

Remember that time you, mom, walked in on me crying to my dad about shit you had pulled, and then glaring at me and saying "you're crying because I, what? Beat you?" before leaving?

Remember that time I had a UTI that wouldn't go away, requiring dad to bring me to urgent care twice in two weeks, and you, mom, screamed at me for "taking advantage of him"? Which led to me refusing to go to the doctor unless I absolutely had to because I was so afraid of people getting mad at me? And now you yell at me for never going to the doctor because while that shit rewired my entire brain chemistry, for you it was a fucking Tuesday?

Remember that time I was both really hungry and really tired after classes one day, so I asked my little brother to make me a sandwich, and then you, mom, screamed at me for acting like a "spoiled princess", making me feel like I am never allowed to ask anyone for anything no matter how small?

Remember when you both told us we could stay at home as long as we were either in college or working, and then when I announced my intentions to start working, you, mom, threatened to kick me out if I didn't do school, and then when I protested that I didn't want loan debt, snapped "everyone gets loan debt, suck it up" and then, after I started, laughed that you were never going to kick me out but you just wanted me to "get my life together"? Then later before I graduated with my two year degree tried to say it was because of you this was happening because you gave me that push? And then two days before graduation you had a crying fit in the kitchen because you were so devastated it wasn't my sister graduating?

Remember that time you, dad, were understandably upset and depressed after being abused by mom, but instead of getting therapy or divorcing her or literally anything, you decided to cry to me and then end the conversation by saying to ME, your CHILD, "if you had enough, you could kill yourself, but I'm stuck with her, you guys need me, I have no way out"?

Remember that time, mom, your best friend literally threatened to stop speaking to you if you kept treating me how you did, and rather than being a serious reality check for you, your takeaway was that I was "interfering with your friendships" and threatening that if I ever did that again, you'd find my best friend and tell her some of the bad things you think I had done?

Remember that time, mom, when I came to you upset about what my sister did to abuse my little brother, and you just snapped "you hurt him too!" and when I asked wtf you were on about, you said "you don't ever hug him!" when I was in fact refusing all physical contact from everyone but my toddler niece at that time due to the immense amounts of trauma you and everyone else in the family put me through? And rather than give me space to start feeling okay with it again, you encouraged my little brother to force me to hug him by blocking off the door to my room until I hugged him?

Remember how, mom, you admitted outright to trying to buy my sister's love? Remember how you arranged to have her meet some rescue guinea pigs in case she wanted one for her birthday, then when she got a snake instead, tried to cancel the meeting even though my birthday was very soon after, and it ended up being dad who said it was only fair I should be able to get one? Like could you make it any more obvious you'd fucking sell a kidney for her and would never do the same for me unless I had done something for you first? Could you make it any clearer that you just straight up can NOT stand to see me being any attention for two minutes of my life, even for birthdays or when I've achieved something huge, like, say, graduating with a Masters degree? But thanks for giving me lifelong issues with feeling selfish for asking even the tiniest bit, to the point that my therapist repeatedly had to tell me I wasn't selfish for wanting my family to fly out to see me graduate?

Speaking about graduations again, how about the fact that when I got my Bachelors degree, you, mom, yelled at me for wanting you there because flying would be too scary for you and my dad couldn't take enough time off of work to drive, and then when we realized COVID wasn't getting much better a year later and they were going to livestream the graduation, you yelled at me for saying that one of the few good things about COVID was that I could have you watching anyway, accusing me of "celebrating people dying so you could see it?"

How about the fact that you, mom lied about what happened, claiming that I flew my little brother out but never bothered to offer for you, when in fact I cried, begged, and offered to pay for the whole thing if that's what it took?

How about the fact that when I was presenting at an undergraduate research symposium for my major, you both said you weren't interested- not the issue, only some families watched the livestream anyway- but instead, you, mom, got mad when I later said I'd had my grandma watching, and denied you'd ever been invited? Because you only ever get mad when I include others in things you don't attend, either because you know it makes you look bad, or because you can't stand the thought that I could still enjoy celebrations without you?

How about the fact that you, mom, made me feel so guilty for trying to get you to come to my Masters degree graduation that I not only gave up entirely, but decided not to go myself? At least you, dad, had the decency to WANT to come and not make me out to be defective for thinking you should be there, even if you ultimately didn't fucking try hard enough to be there.

Remember the time, mom, right after I started college when you forced me to, when you demanded I use my student aid money to get you a bag of chips, and I said I couldn't because I didn't know how much books would cost yet, and then you yelled at me, and then I walked to the store and came back with the chips, and then you screamed at me that it wasn't about "the fucking Doritos" and then threw the bag at me and wouldn't touch them?

Remember that time, mom, when I introduced you via phone call to a girl I was seeing, and you immediately made the whole conversation about my sister, about how she was such a good person and you could tell this girl would really like her when they met? To the point that this girl finally texted me "I'M DATING YOU, NOT SAMMY'S SISTER! Why am I hearing all about your sister and not one thing about you, even an embarrassing story about you as a baby?" and left the phone call? And how you, dad, let it all happen, never once trying to stop her or redirect the conversation?

Remember, mom, when you needed dental surgery but couldn't afford it, so I took out a loan for you to get the surgery, and said my only ask was that you and dad pay it back on your own, and then you and dad only made TWO payments, I had to make the rest, and then when I stopped being able to afford it, you STILL didn't pay it, until the account got closed, my credit score took a hundred-point ding, and I got barred from ever having that line of credit again, meaning I can't use it for myself if I ever need a medical loan?

Remember ALL the fucking times all of you fucking used me as a therapist, and then when it was me, it was "YOU have anxiety?!" in the most shocked voice imaginable? I will say, it was nice of you to send a care package during that time my panic attacks were so bad I was having literally two a day for two months and I lost ten pounds, but you maybe... I don't know... could have like. Tried. To understand me as a person well enough to understand it was NO FUCKING SURPRISE I had anxiety, and "you're always the most put together of us all" is because THAT IS WHAT I HAD TO DO TO GET YOU THROUGH THIS FUCKING SHIT ALIVE, and I hid my emotions from all of you because they were only ever used to fucking hurt me! And even after that time things went right back to normal, as evidenced by your constant 'forgetting' what I told you about struggling with gambling.

I don't even know how to end this, to be honest. I'm fucking tired and well past the point of realizing that if I wasn't your kid, I wouldn't like you. In fact, if you were the parents of one of my friends instead and you treated them the way you treated me, I'd probably despise you and would do anything I could to help that friend leave. There's a reason my life got so much better when I left you guys and moved to the other side of the country. I still visit you a lot because, in spite of everything, I do fucking love you, and I know you're getting older and won't be around forever. But honestly, if it wasn't for me feeling so responsible for you, me feeling like your wellbeing was my responsibility... If it wasn't for all the issues I got growing up with you two where I felt, still feel, like my happiness is the least important thing and like anything bad that happens to this family is my fault by default, and like I'm a 'bad person' who 'mistreats' you any time I have boundaries and like I have some kind of duty to prove to you that I am better than drunk-mom thought I was by always taking care of the family issues to my own detriment... I would have cut contact years ago and never looked back. I barely talk to my older siblings. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to entirely cut out everyone but my little brother. Or at least brave enough to tell you guys you've been fucking awful family to me, and often bad people too.

Mom, you fucking loved to read the Giving Tree to us when we were little. I used to think it was a really sweet story about the sacrifices of love. And then I got older and realized... huh. Why is it only the tree who ever does anything for the boy? Why doesn't the boy ever water her or plant other trees by her to keep her company? Why does it only ever go one way? Why does the tree only have duties to the boy just like I only have things I owe to you and not the other way around? And shouldn't it worry you/me/us that the story ends with the tree reduced to a stump that will probably die in a few years? And then it started making even more sense why you still love the damn book and read it to your grandkids when they visit, and I'm fucking horrified at it. The longer time goes on the more I see "but we're a family" ONLY ever goes one way. It's never "but we're a family" when I need you. It's only "but we're a family" when you need me to give up more and more for you all.

I'm fucking tired. And I really was willing to keep on going like the stupid fucking tree when I thought you were changing for the better. When you, mom, gave up drinking, and when you, dad, stopped enabling her shit. We worked so fucking hard to restore the trust. And that was the first time you started like... letting me have boundaries and you guys apologized to me and admitted none of that was okay. You got into counseling and started working on yourselves. And then you stopped. And it's really starting to fucking show. For now, it's just mom starting all the same old shit again... but I know how this story ends and I know that sooner or later it's going to be you, dad, enabling mom again at my expense. And I feel like the biggest idiot for ever thinking things would be okay as long as mom stayed away from alcohol. There's a reason folks in recovery talk about "dry drunks" and other equivalents. Because drinking didn't make you, mom, a bad person, you already were and it just removed the inhibitions that made you pretend. And you can remove those inhibitions just as well without it. You won't tell me you wish me dead without a drink, no, but you'll use and abuse me just as much, you'll scapegoat me just as much, you'll favor my sister just as much.

I messaged my little brother during one of my visits last year that I was so put off by how I felt loved, how I felt shocked that I could ask for favors or whatever else and not be yelled at for it and actually have it done to boot... and just that quick you slid back into what you used to be.

I'm really tired of asking you for just... the littlest things, okay? Dad, you at least... will see me and care about me. Like... you fucked up before, but at least I can still say without hesitation that you love me, no matter how bad you did fuck up. You actually care when I tell you about my struggles with job hunting, and I actually believe you when you say you're proud of my accomplishments. But when mom acts actively maliciously, you just don't care, and never have cared enough to stop her. You let her do all those things to me before and after. And it will never be any different.

Isn't it ironic? Because for all mom fucking abused me all my life for her suspicion that you and I, dad, loved each other more than we loved her, you and I both know that's never been true. You fought for her, but neither of you ever would for me. You were okay with me moving across the country to escape, but you would never leave her to keep us- me- safe. Not that it would have been okay for her to treat me the way she did even if I was the one you loved more, but it was never true. You'd never let me treat her the way she treated me. Ever.

So what the fuck do I do now? I hate that fucking Giving Tree book but there are times where I just feel like I'm too tired to stop any of this. Why should I have to be the bad guy and be the one to say this is the end? Maybe that's why the tree ended up as a stump in that stupid fucking book. Maybe the tree was just too tired to tell that stupid fucking brat, no, you can buy some fucking apples at the grocery store like everybody else. And maybe the tree was fully aware that no one cared about it unless it had something to give the stupid fucking brat, too, so what was the point of leaving anything for itself if either way it was never going to be fucking appreciated?

... Whatever.

I guess you're okay with how things are, anyway, because you always have been, even when things were 100 times worse. And I mean, let's be honest, I was always the only one who wasn't okay with it, for obvious reasons. And that in turn led to me being scapegoated worse and hurt worse. Everyone else was willing to play happy family, and I wasn't because I was being hurt the worst, but that meant everyone else kept lashing out at me worse because I was the one making a fuss and trying to tell family secrets outside the family and shit like that. So what does it matter anyway? It's always the same whether any of you are drinking or not. I'm the only one who sees a problem, always, so that means I'm the real problem.

Whatever. If you guys are happy with broken things, even when you started fixing them and saw how good things could be, I guess I can go back to pretending to be okay with broken shit too. I at least have a best friend, who is more my sister than the one who shares my DNA, who sees that I deserve more than broken shit, and maybe if I'm lucky one day I'll have a partner or someone who sees it too. And maybe if I keep doing things to fix my broken things, like therapy, maybe you guys will decide you want to start fixing things again too. Because despite everything you've done, I think you deserve better than broken shit too. I think you deserve better than just being passive aggressive with each other when you have problems, which inevitably grows into you yelling at each other. I think you deserve a happier and more stable marriage than that. I think you deserve to have hobbies and friends and things that get you to leave the house sometimes for things besides work and grocery shopping. Dad, I know you used to be a social butterfly and loved doing your sports leagues until mom forbade you from leaving her. You're a little too old for a lot of sports anymore, but maybe you could still find something to do. There's senior centers around you could maybe do stuff at. I think you deserve better than what you do to yourselves just as much as I deserve better than what you've done to me too. But I also know as well as you do that fixing things takes energy and sometimes it's easier to live with the broken things than it is to fix them. So I get it, too.

But I wish you would go back to how it was the last few years where I didn't get broke worse by talking to you. I miss the things you'd tell me you learned from your therapists. I miss hearing you catching yourselves when you'd do something like violate a boundary. I miss you realizing that some of the stuff you put me and my siblings through wasn't okay. I miss the Twitter posts you used to make, mom, about how you know it's kind of too late to not perpetrate the cycle that you went through with your stepdad, but that you're still going to try to fix it. I miss that side of you. The side of you that at least tried to be better than what you were when you were drinking. Now I think you've given up, I guess because of the health issues making you too tired to fight anymore, I don't know.

I'll be here as long as I can, I guess. Maybe you'll figure it out or maybe you won't or maybe things will go right back to how they were when I first moved out, with mom calling me every night to scream at me and dad just giving a milquetoast "I'd better go make sure she doesn't hurt herself, have a good night, love you sweetie." I guess that's up to you. But I can't promise you I'll be able to sit here forever. I was a teenager then, but now I'm an adult with a graduate degree, and I think I'm ready to start looking for a partner and maybe start a family one day, and I won't always have the energy or time to do the stuff I do for you now. Or who knows, maybe I'll be the fucking stump tree at the end of that stupid fucking Giving Tree book because I'm too tired and too scared to ever properly stand up to you. I guess that part is up to me, just like the rest is up to you.

I'm tired. I miss what we had the last few years. Please don't give up on that. I miss feeling like I actually have two parents who love me.

[evita-shelby]

The Ghost of New Year's Past

Or Polly decided to pop in and now its about Tommy & Diane(oc child) & ghost!Polly who has unfinished business.

Cw: Tommy’s canon depression and guilt over Polly’s death and baby's first contact with the dead(applies to both Tom and Diane)

Could be read as witch!Reader being Tommy’s wife or Eva since no name is mentioned.

He can’t bring himself to drink anymore.

He died that night on the field because in his heart he knew Polly had died because of him.

He sees her and hears her amongst his family as they celebrate the new year and Tommy leaves before it becomes too much.

Tommy has no idea where he is going when he passes by the children’s rooms and hears his eldest daughter, Diane, whispering to someone.

The children had been allowed to stay as late as they wanted but most had already been put to bed by now. In fact he’d personally tucked his little witch into her pink bed and kissed her goodnight hours ago.

“Can I tell daddy you’re here?” the little girl asks as her excitement has her talking just loud enough for him to hear her as he stops at her door.

Tommy cannot guess who would be here with Di, but none of them would be a good idea even if they were harmless little girls. Allie Solomons, Bianca Sabini, Janey Dogs, the little Gold girl who hates him for Aberama’s death, that friend of hers from school, the list goes on as Diane is ---unfortunately--- everyone’s friend.

“Di, sweetheart, I thought you said you were tired.” He comes in to find her sitting on her little table alone with biscuits and cake that she’d somehow gotten downstairs. He knew it was a bad idea to let her learn ballet, now the little witch moved as silently as she got up to mischief.

A trait she inherited from both him and his wife.

There is flash of light ivory satin on the bed in the corner of his eye, perhaps a dress or shawl Diane had taken out to play, but the room is otherwise empty.

“I was, but Aunt Polly came in and I asked her to stay.” The little girl with blue and brown eyes smiles widely and looks at the bed and he follows her line of sight. “She says she can’t have cake and biscuits because ghosts don’t need food like we do.”

“Hello, Thomas, did you miss me?” the ghost of his aunt sits there on the pink bed in the French dress his grandma stole, smoking a cigarette as if nothing had changed.

As if he hadn’t killed her and Barney and Aberama a year ago today.

“How?” he asks doing his best not to panic but feeling every hair on the back of neck rise in fear.

“Hmm, even with a witch for a wife you still do not believe we have magic in our blood.” Polly smiles and gestures him to sit on the bed.

“See I told you he wouldn’t believe it even if he saw me.” She turned to his daughter who tries to calm him with her small doll like hand in his.

“It’s okay, daddy, it’s just Aunt Polly.”

He can’t speak, his tongue feels heavy in his mouth and his head spins. Tommy has never fainted in his life and now he tries to hold into something as he feels light-headed.

“And your dear old mummy thought none of you inherited her gifts.” The ghost woman chuckled but refused to touch him.

“How?” he asks again as he shut his eyes and hears Diane leave him alone here with whatever Polly is now.

“Our magical blood allows me to visit those with our gifts and sweet little Di is the most magical of all.” His aunt, his second closest confidant explained. “and I cannot ascend as I have unfinished business, dear nephew of mine.”

“What do you need to pass on?” he asks thinking perhaps if he helps her pass over to the other side he will have peace.

“I need you to swear you won’t kill my son. Even if my Michael believes you killed me, I need you to show him mercy and kill the fucking people who did.”

But that includes me, Pol, he wants to say.

“That is the guilt speaking, Tom. You didn’t kill us, or me least of all. Swing just knows how to get under your skin.” She reads minds now, but Polly always knew him better than he knew himself. “So, Thomas Shelby, do I have your word?”

“Will you never come back if he says yes?” Diane asked with a quivering lip from the door, she’d not left as he thought she did.

“No, sweetheart, I can’t leave until the bad people are gone. And when I go to heaven I will come every All Soul's Day.” The ghost answered softly and the girl calmed down long enough to rejoin them on her bed.

“So, Thomas Shelby, do you promise to do as I asked?” she turned to him again, a bit sterner somewhat impatient as they hear Arthur and John coming up with John’s children.

“Yes, Pol, you have my word.”

[broken-glowsticks]

What Once Was Mine

Chapter 12 - Missing you

Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series.

Not all chapters will be proofread!!

Warnings: 18+, mdni, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed.

Previous • Main • Next

It took hours before you fell into a fitful sleep only for the overly eager sun to wake you up way too soon for your liking. You had debated over calling in sick from work, but what would be the point? Felix had classes, and you knew damn well how busy Chan, Changbin, and Jisung were. You even, for a fleeting moment, thought about reaching out to Hyunjin but had ultimately decided against it. You truly couldn't bring yourself to bother anyone it seemed and thus dragged yourself from bed, resigning to your pitiful fate and jumping into a tolerably cold shower before dressing for what you knew was going to be a shitty day. And shitty it was. 

The moment you started your lunch break, you had escaped to your car, needing desperately to be out of that brick and mortar prison. It was only when you had managed to relax a bit that you pulled out your phone and noticed Changbin had sent you a few texts throughout the morning. 

❤️✨️My Dwaekki🐇🐽: Good morning, my pretty princess. I'm so sorry for not texting you until now. 

❤️✨️My Dwaekki🐇🐽: I wished you were next to me when I woke up. I miss you, Bunny. I hate not getting to see you.

❤️✨️My Dwaekki🐇🐽: I guess you're at work. Otherwise, you would have answered me? I asked Han, but he didn't know for sure. I guess neither of us has really had the time to see you, huh? I'm really sorry about that, Bunny.

❤️✨️My Dwaekki🐇🐽: Let me know the next time you're free. Let's go on a date. I left my princess alone when I said I'd spoil her, I swear I'll make it up. Any day, just say when.

You stared intently at his string of messages, trying not to let yourself get overly emotional. You had been so lonely these past few days, the only respite being those few genuinely platonic moments between you and Hyunjin right up until the almost-kiss and the day before with Felix. You didn't want to bother your swamped boyfriend with your melancholy feelings, doing your best to put on a smile for him, but yet here he was saying how he has been missing you too. Maybe he's been missing you just as much as you've been missing him, if not more. 

You stopped yourself before you made yourself any more sad and quickly pulled up your work schedule. Fuck it. It was Tuesday today, so you had decided you would ride out today and tomorrow and call in sick for the rest of the week. You missed your boyfriend, and he missed you, so you were going to see him - whatever it took. 

○●☆♡☆●○

My girl: Thursday to Sunday, I'm all yours. I'll take whatever you can give. I miss you, Binnie 💋

Changbin sat in his studio chair, eyes fixed on your text. It was the only reply you had sent, and yet it held so much weight. 

Thursday to Sunday. Four days, four full days that he knew you had set aside just for him. He knew your work hours well enough to know you must have made some kind of arrangements to get Thursday and Friday off, and you never worked weekends. 

Fuck, Changbin meant it when he told you to just say the word and he'd be there. He would do whatever it took to see you again, but the fact that you set aside four whole days just to “take whatever he can give” simultaneously almost broke his heart and made him fall even deeper into his still massive crush on you. 

“Has Y/N replied to you yet?” Jisung asked from his desk chair, his eyes still trained on the computer in front of him.

“Yeah, she did.”

“And…?” Chan asked from the couch on the other side of the small room, his gaze lifting from the screen of his laptop.

“How do you guys feel about me inviting her to the studio on Thursday?” 

“I'm amazed you didn't think of it before,” Han said with a slight chuckle.

“Of course she can come, just don't make out right in front of us,” Chan teased with a sincere smile, causing Changbin to laugh.

“No promises, boss.”

○●☆♡☆●○

You could feel your heart pounding as you waited in the lobby of a large building,  twiddling with the straps of your large bag. 3racha may own the studio space, but it still resided on only one floor of a massive mixed-use building. A building where you couldn't just freely enter without clearance. Which led to you waiting nervously in the lobby as the receptionist for the entire building phoned for one of the boys, needing confirmation that you were indeed an expected guest before she could give you a day pass. 

“Miss Y/N? I have confirmation, I just need your signature to validate your day pass.” 

“Yes, of course,” you replied, swiftly making your way to the front desk and scrawlling your signature onto the provided document before the receptionist led you behind her desk and up against a blue square so a photo could be taken and added to your day pass. You didn't look unkempt, but you were definitely feeling underdressed in your light sweater and shorts when you walked into the building's main lobby, and that feeling only doubled once your picture was taken. 

“Here you are, ma'am, the office you're looking for will be on floor three. Have a nice day.” 

With a small nod to the receptionist, you made your way to the closest elevator. You could feel yourself starting to get jittery with excitement as the elevator took you to the third floor. You didn't think you would get to see Changbin again so soon, not only that you were also going to see Jisung and Chan, too. You felt bad Felix couldn't join. It had been way too long since all of you were able to spend time together. 

The elevator stopped with a ding, causing you to jolt slightly. Quickly, you scrambled out of the metal box, expecting to instantly come across the boys' studio. Unfortunately for you, their studio wasn't the only room on this floor, and, for some god forsaken reason, none of the doors were marked with any kind of name plate. Who the hell designed this? Checking your phone, you noticed you had spotty cell signal at best and absolutely nothing at worst. Great, how were you supposed to find these guys? Go from door to door? The idea did not appeal to you.

You paced the hallway a few times before gently pressing your ear to each of the doors in hopes of hearing something - anything. Music, a familiar voice, hell even an unmistakably unfamiliar voice to help whittle down your choices and increase your chances of knocking on the right door. 

You groaned, now standing on the other end of the hall, right next to the elevator where you initially started, arms crossed and foot impatiently tapping on the carpeted floor. You really didn't want to do this, but your pride was wearing thin the longer you floundered around the building corridor. Bouncing your gaze about for a moment you finally chose a door to knock on, however as soon as you took a step towards your chosen door, the one on the complete opposite side of the hall opened and out came Changbin. 

“Bunny, there you are!” 

“Oh my god, Binnie!” You cried out, relieved you didn't have to sacrifice your dignity and excited to finally get to lay eyes on your boyfriend who you haven't gotten to see in some time. 

Before you knew it, you had run, full force, towards your boyfriend's growing smile, propelling yourself into his open arms. Changbins’ hold on you was tight as he spun you around, taking in your scent and your giggles as he set you down but didn't let you go. God had he missed you. Now that you were here, Changbin didn't want to go back into the studio. He just wanted to take you home and bury himself into his blankets with you pressed against him. He guessed just getting to hold you as tightly as he could in this quiet hallway would have to do.

“What took you so long? I was getting worried,” Changbin murmured into your hair.

“There are no name plates on these stupid doors,” you complained, pulling away to pout up at him. 

“Ah, you're right. I'm sorry, baby, I should have told you. It slipped my mind,” Changbin said gently, taking your face in one of his hands and stroking your jutted lip with his thumb. 

“You owe me a better apology than that, I almost went knocking from door to door to look for you,” you said, taking in Changbins’ messy curly hair, his round and wire framed glasses, and his comfy, sleeveless black shirt. He looked so adorable and completely irresistible. 

“Oh, really?” He chuckled in response, dipping down to bump his nose against yours, “I hope this is enough then, my princess.” Changbins lips were soft, and kissing him again felt like finally getting to breathe again. You didn't care that you were in an open hallway and that anybody could walk out at any moment and see you. Being without Changbin felt agonizing, and you were going to savor every second you could get. 

“Am I forgiven yet?” He asked against your lips and gave a breathy laugh that made your knees go weak when you refused him.

“More,” you demanded, arms wrapped around his neck and your fingers toying with the curls at the nape of his neck. 

“As you wish,” Changbin replied with a silly grin, a hand sliding down to rest on your ass. “Chan said I'm not allowed to make out with you in front of him, so I guess I'm just going to have to do it now before we go in. We might be out here a while.”

“They can wait. Right now, you're mine.” 

“Only yours,” Changbin replied before catching your lips in another kiss. 

○●☆♡☆●○

“Oh there you two are, I thought we were going to have to send out Search and Rescue to find you two,” Han quipped the moment you and Changbin walked into the studio. “They'd probably find you two smashing or something,” he added under his breath as he swiveled back to his computer. 

“And I thought it would be nice if I brought you guys snacks, but I guess my stupid roommate isn't gonna get any now after that last quip that I totally heard.” 

“Wait, no, wait, I take that back. I want snacks,” Jisung said hastily, whirling around and reaching for your bag, which he presumed had the aforementioned snacks. 

“Say sorry first, you twerp!” You said, yanking the bag away from Jisungs hands. 

“NO!” Hisung cried, and before you knew it, he had lunged on you from his seat, causing you to falter, lose balance, and land on a black couch you didn't notice behind you. All you could register was the cackling laughter of Chan and Changbin as Jisung wrestled and tickled you for your bag of snacks. You weren't just taking it, though, twisting and jerking your body every which way you could to keep Jisung from getting your bag. 

“Are either of you going to help?!” You shouted but were only met with more laughter. 

The two of you struggled for a few more minutes before Changbin decided to finally give you some aid. Wrapping his arms around Jisung, who had effectively crawled on top of your hunched figure, Changbin lifted his friends in the air and carried him back to his chair. 

“Alright, Han, leave my girlfriend alone.” 

“Hey, no fair, you were my friend first.”

“Boyfriend trumps friend when that friend is about to crush everyone's snacks,” Changbin said with a grin. Meanwhile, behind him, you had unfurled to stick your tongue out at Jisung, causing him to frown. 

“Fine, Traitor. I gotta get back to this beat anyway,” Jisung pouted, sliding a pair of headphones over his ears. 

“Aish, he's not gonna forgive me for taking your side,” Changbin said lightheartedly, settling next to you and slinging an arm over your shoulders. “Can I convince you to forgive him and give him some snacks?” 

You mulled the idea over for a moment before nodding, handing the bag to Changbin. 

“You give it to him,” you whispered, “pretend you swiped them from me. He loves stealing my food.”

“Okay,” he whispered back with a chuckle, pressing a quick kiss to your temple as he took the bag and rummaged through it to pick out one he thought Han would like the most. 

He waited a bit, waiting until you went and talked to Chan to sell the charade before he threw a snack at Hans head. Han swiveled his chair around, initially ready to fight whoever threw something at his head, only for his mouth to seal itself tightly and his eyes to widen when he saw Changbin with the bag. 

“Look down,” Changbin mouthed, pointing at the candy that lay on the floor behind Han and flashing a cute pose. 

Han smiled, his eyes darting to you before quickly snatching up the candy and mouthing a thank you to his friend. Just like that, all was forgiven between the two, and you tried your best not to let on that you and Chan were subtly watching by giggling. 

The day passed surprisingly quickly, filled with silly squabbles that were remedied as soon as they were sparked, jokes and razzing, Changbin acting cute, snacks being eaten, bouts of quiet as the boys busied themselves with work only for a stray groan to break the silence and start up short conversations again. It felt like a breath of fresh air, all of you being together again. The only thing missing was Felix. Maybe he could come over later after his classes? It doesn't seem like he would be in the way. After all, it's not as if any clients have come in all day. Why was that?

“We like to set aside days to work on personal projects or just hammer out details for ongoing projects with clients,” Chan explained, not once looking up from his laptop. "Also, some of our clients hired us to actually write the music as well as produce it, so that takes a lot of time as well.”

“Wow, no wonder you guys have been so busy. With all of that, you really have a lot on your plate.”

“Uhg, tell me about it,” Jisung groaned, slipping off his headphones and sliding down his seat. “I miss having free time.”

“I miss having you guys around,” you admit, tucking your legs into the oversized jacket Changbin lent you earlier 

Another silence settled between the four of you, and you regretted opening your mouth. However, the boys all felt sympathetically. They missed the group hanging out. It didn't feel right for three of the five of you to be constantly working, leaving the other two in the dust. While this uptick in business is great for 3racha's career, it’s not so great for their personal lives. 

The silence was abruptly broken by someone’s stomach growling. 

“I guess snacks aren't a good replacement for a good meal,” you chuckled, grabbing your bag and pulling out your wallet. “I'll go get us some food.” 

“Changbin, go with her,” Jisung said as soon as you had grabbed your wallet, surprising you both. 

“Don't you need him?”

“Oh god, don't start, just get out of here. I need a break from you two eye fucking each other from across the room,” Jisung said with feign annoyance, but when his eyes met Changbins’, Jisung gave him a wink and a thumbs up. Even after the official start of you two dating, Han was still by his friends side doing everything he could for you two. 

“Don't have to tell me twice,” Changbin grinned, snagging his wallet and yanking on the shoes he discarded about an hour or two after you arrived. 

“Everyone fine with pizza?” You asked, taking Changbins hand into yours and making your way to the door. 

“Bring Korean corn dogs too!” Chan called out before the door closed. You chuckled. Normally, you would complain about having to drive to two different places for food, but right now, that meant more alone time with your Binnie, and you were not going to say no to that. 

“You want me to put in the order for everything now?” Changbin asked as the elevator returned you to the lobby. You shook your head. 

“Let's wait until we get to the pizza place, I want as much time with you as possible,” 

Changbin simply replied with a giggle and a press of his lips to yours. You had a feeling you were going to get a lot of kisses before you made it back to the studio and, boy, how right you were. At every opportunity Changbin had himself wrapped around you, his lips trailing over every available glimpse of your skin, his hands running over everywhere else. The only time he wasn't all over you was when he stole your keys and drove you to his favorite pizza place, which, surprisingly, wasn't that far from the studio. 

Once he had paid for parking, the two of you made your way inside, and Changbin hugged you from behind, his arms wrapping comfortably around your middle as you decided on what pizza to get for everyone 

“Maybe a meat lovers’?” He suggested, placing his chin on your shoulder and swaying your bodies side to side, causing you to giggle.

“What about a Supreme? I think that has a little bit of something for everyone.” 

“Sure, just no olives,” Changbin murmured in reply, his nose nuzzling into your neck, tickling the skin. 

“Stop,” you giggled, trying to shrug away.

“No,” you promptly refused, walking the two of you up to the counter to order. Changbin only toned down the affection long enough for you to order once someone came to take your order. The second the worker made their way back to begin your order, Changbin immediately started up his assault on your skin, kissing and nipping at the skin. It tickled, but also you could feel your body heat rising in temperature, and you worried that at any moment someone would come out and see. 

“Binnie, stop, someone's gonna see.”

“Nobody's gonna see. This place only ever has a few workers. They won't come out until the pizza's done,” he said in attempts to reassure you, but you still weren't satisfied. “Fine,” he grumbled, his lips pressed right behind your ear. 

You assumed he was relenting that he was going to at least wait until the two of you were alone again. That's not what he was doing. Instead, he tightened his grip around your middle and lifted you to a row of seats that were lined up against a nearby wall. You couldn’t help but notice they were placed right next to a section of the wall that jutted out, creating an alcove where even if a worker were to walk out, they wouldn't be able to see anything but your legs from their vantage point. What a sneaky mother fucker your boyfriend was, especially considering that when he set you down he placed you directly next to the protruding section of the wall. 

“Think you're being sneaky?” You asked in a coy tone, your lip catching between your teeth as Changbin leaned forward, putting his hand on the protruding wall right next to your head. 

“I like to think I can be pretty sneaky when I want to be,” he teased back, his hooded eyes taking in the building color in your cheeks. “Still think someone's gonna see?” 

You said nothing, all your focus being pulled towards your boyfriend. 

Changbin chuckled, his free hand coming up to draw over your head the hood of his jacket that you were still wearing. You looked so cute in it. He might have to let you have it.

“What about now?” He breathed, slowly leaning in but not closing the gap. You didn't realize when your breathing had sped up, but you did realize the moment you suddenly didn't care if anyone saw. All you cared about was feeling Changbins' lips on yours.

Closing your eyes, you leaned in, slotting your lips over his. Changbin sighed into the kiss, he had been stealing kissing you since you had left the studio, but getting to sit down and properly take in the softness of your plush lips, the lingering sweetness of candy on your breath, the warmth of your skin. If only you weren't in public, he would have you in his arms, on his lap, his hands under your shirt. 

You seemed to have read his mind and liked the latter idea because slyly you hand rooted your hands into the hair at the nape of his neck, fisting his raven locks before one hand slid down the back of his neck and slipped under the fabric of his shirt. You were just as lost in him as he was with you. With one hand releasing your hood to caress your cheek, the other hand against the wall by your head, his body beginning to lean over her, all at once you were surrounded in everything that was Changbin. 

You were so lost that you didn't notice the bell of the front door ring as someone walked in. 

○●☆♡☆●○

Hyunjin sighed in relief as he carded a hand through his newly cropped hair. It had been quite a while since he allowed himself a change in his cut and color. He smiled at himself as he took in his reflection in a nearby window, his hair now short and a dark shade of burgundy. He was hesitant over the short length but was glad he went for it overall. It allowed a proper view of his new brow piercing he had gotten only a couple of days prior. Something about the new look made him feel like he matched the art he had been creating. 

With a rumbling tummy, Hyunjin had just one more stop to hit up before going home. Some time during his hair appointment, he had felt the sensation of hunger settling in and had placed an order for pizza from this spot he knew was nestled nearby. 

Opening the door, Hyunjin leisurely strolled in, initially missing the couple making out in the chairs nearby as he waved down a worker and told them he had ordered ahead. However, the second he noticed them, he very much wished he hadn't. 

‘Gross… Just because the staff can't see you doesn't mean I can't,’ he thought but soon had to check himself, he knew he would be doing the exact same thing with you were he in their place. 

The thought of you pulled Hyunjins mood down a bit. Particularly the thought of him kissing you. He had been doing everything in his power to not think of you in that way, especially since the almost-kiss that happened at his place only four days ago. But something about that night had brought every intimate and stolen moment to the forefront of his mind, and, suddenly, he was seeing you everywhere. 

Even now, Hyunjin was seeing you in the girl being kissed, hiding in what he presumed to be her boyfriend's hoodie. It was stupid, but Hyunjin wished for a moment that the girl really was you and that he was in the place of the curly haired guy. He wanted to be able to hide away with you one more time, to steal just a few more kisses and to hear more of your shy giggles. If only that guy could be him.

Damn. Was he really getting jealous of strangers right now? Wow, was he getting pathetic. It really didn't help that the girl's legs looked just like yours. 

The girl giggled again, and Hyunjin had to physically turn away. Now she was sounding like you, too. Where the hell was his pizza?

Before he could wave down a worker again, Hyunjins eyes darted over to the couple again entirely on their own. Why, he didn't know, all he knew was that when his eyes landed on the “random” couple, his heart cracked. It was you. You and the stupid boyfriend. Hyunjin wondered if you had even noticed that your hood had slipped off your head while you were… having fun. God of all the places, of all the pizza joints, why were you here? 

“Y/N?” Hyunjins wavering voice called out to you before he could stop himself, causing you to jolt away from Changbin in surprise.

You didn’t have to look. You knew it was Hyunjin. You knew his voice, having memorized every intonation of it over the years. You couldn't even look at him if you had wanted to. You were too embarrassed. Instead, you squirreled your face away into the crook of Changbins’ neck for protection.

“H-hi Hyunjin,” you squeaked out from your hiding spot. You felt silly hiding from Hyunjin. It's not as if you haven't done worse with him in public places. But at the same time, you also felt like jumping into the pizza oven to be burnt to a crisp. That way, you could avoid the inevitable awkward conversation that was about to come. What was he doing here? Why did he have to catch you kissing Changbin like this? Why did it matter to you so much if you and Hyunjin were just friends now?

“Hwang,” Changbin cut in with a nod of his head, partially in acknowledgment, partially to pull Hyunjins' attention from you. 

“Ah, yeah. Hi,” Hyunjin replied stiffly, returning Changbins nod with a curt one of his own but unable to meet the boyfriends eyes. He actually couldn't even bring himself to look at the guy at all. 

An awkward silence settled between the three of you, one only broken by a worker pulling Hyunjins attention. It was when you heard Hyunjin speaking to the restaurant worker about how long his food took and being given something extra as compensation that you were able to calm yourself enough to pull your face from Changbins’ neck. 

“Still flustered, bunny?” Changbin chuckled, resting back into his chair and pulling you against him with his strong arm. You had only managed to nod as you leaned against Changbins’ strong body, attempting to relax against him as your eyes finally landed on Hyunjin who was only a few feet away from you but felt so much further.

“You changed your hair,” you timidly spoke when Hyunjin finally had his food in hand, “when did that happen?” 

Hyunjin paused to look at you and your beet red face, and you couldn't help but notice the red rim to his glassy eyes. Maybe the pain was why he couldn't bring himself to answer you right away. How was he supposed to just talk to you with his heart still aching from watching you kiss someone else? Especially when you looked so comfortable snuggled against The Boyfriends’ side, wearing his hoodie? However, the more he stared at you with that unmistakably hurt gaze, the more unsettled you felt.

“Yo-you also pierced your eyebrow. It looks good on you,” you attempted again, a strained smile pulling at your features. Hyunjins face remained stoic as he continued to stare at you, the air growing stale between you. 

This time, it was the sound of Changbin clearing his throat that broke the silence, effectively pulling Hyunjin from his daze. Hyunjin blinked a few moments as if he were refocusing on what was in front of him before turning his gaze away, a hand coming up to scratch at his scalp.

“I just came from the salon, actually. The piercing was the day before yesterday. I was waiting until this weekend to show you. I was hoping I could steal some time to surprise you,” Hyunjin admitted in a hurry, as if trying to make up for the silence he instigated moments earlier. 

“Oh, uhm, I'm sorry the surprise got ruined,” you said a little lamely, reaching for Changbins hand as discreetly as possible and squeezing it tightly. Unfortunately, Hyunjin caught this action out of his peripheral vision.

“It's ok, not your fault. Uhm, I gotta go. I don't want my food to get cold,” he said curtly, dashing from the lobby before you could even say goodbye. 

“Wait, Hyunjin!” You cried, standing to chase after him but being stopped by the call of your name. The pizza was done, and Hyunjin was long gone. 

“Are you okay, Bunny?” Changbin asked as he came up beside you, food in one hand, the other resting comfortingly on your back. You tore your eyes from the door Hyunjin just left through to look at your boyfriend, unsure of how to respond to him.

---------------------------------------

So I tried taking a page out of Miyazaki and writing the more quiet moments, but that's hard to balance! They can easily come off as boring, especially in a strictly written medium. Personally, I think it's easier in a visual medium where you can see the characters being in the moment. I hope I could somewhat convey the concept of "ma" at least a little in this chapter.

Now, onto the story, Solars, come and get yo juice! Lmao, also I'm worried I made Hyunjin come off as a little bit of a twerp when that's not what intended. If that's the case, I'll roll with it, but idk, what do you guys think?

Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon @luvyblossom @doggezz@kayleefriedchicken @hyunjinhoexxx @zadkielr @bincxtesworld

[theprettynosferatu]

When I was a little girl, not even six years of age, my wet nurse would tell me stories. They were stern warnings in the form of tales, in which naughty girls were taken by the Fair Folk and replaced by a strange copy so their parents wouldn’t notice; they were about strange beings with large eyes and bloody teeth who bit the bellies of sleeping girls; they were about foul witches who turned into cats and bats and watched their victims from shadowed corners. 

Once my mother learned of this, the poor wet nurse got a proper talking-to. The stories ceased, but the monsters never left me, and so I asked for a gas lamp to be left outside my door so I wouldn’t sleep in the dark. No matter how much my mother insisted that the creatures were not real, I would not budge on the matter of the light, much to her dismay. Soon after that, she was gone. I was told it was the result of a difficult pregnancy, and that my unborn sister had gone to heaven with my dear mother, but part of me never stopped thinking about those creatures with huge eyes. I Imagined them feeding on my mother’s big belly until there was no more to feed on, and so the gas lamp stayed well after I understood that monsters were not real.

My father was left with a business empire to run and a young daughter to raise. He was much more adept at one than the other, and so a succession of governesses and tutors made sure to raise me as a proper lady. Before he noticed it, I was nineteen and unwed, which he would not abide. He started throwing big balls and parties at our estate, and not once failed to remind me of the twin facts that they were both expensive and for my benefit. I understood the need to secure an advantageous marriage, of course. It was most unfortunate, however, that the sons of nobility and business consistently failed to provoke the slightest reaction in me besides a slight amusement at their attempts at seduction.

I confess I was quite adept at the secret arts of coquettishness and playfulness, and could swim gracefully through the social waters into which my father had thrown me. I quickly learned to keep suitors both interested and at an arm’s length, alternatively offering coldness and hints of warmth, silence and smiles. A most effective delaying tactic, I found, was to put two or more gentlemen in competition with one another. Their attempts to overshadow the others often took time and occasionally took the form of lavish gifts I was not able to refuse, such was their insistence.

Still, this dance could not last forever. My father was not a patient man, and even if he were, time made fools of us all, and spinsters of women who stretched their playfulness too far. I wasn’t such a romantic that I expected my world to explode in a million colors at the sight of a man, but I required to feel at least… something. Anything, really. It wasn’t too high of a demand for marriage, I felt. Father felt otherwise. His growing impatience was reflected in both the expense of his parties and his tolerance for my increasingly scandalous dresses: there was a beautiful mathematics in how I could measure his despair by how low my neckline got. I entertained myself in this manner to escape the inevitable, and to elude the question that plagued my nights: why, when so many others had found suitable husbands, did men bore me so much? 

Father, one beautiful afternoon, decided to put an end to my hesitation. He spoke to me not as a daughter, but as a business partner. He explained the importance of securing good relations with certain families, the benefits of this candidate and that one, their impeccable pedigrees and their families’ prodigious economic ventures. I assented, since he spoke with impeccable logic and common sense, while I couldn’t put into words the malaise, the deep ennui that overcame me whenever I pondered matters of marriage. One final party, we agreed. There, I would have to choose.

Seeing as it would be my final foray into the dance of seduction, I had a seamstress make me a special dress, just to show Father that I was not pleased by his insistence. It was blood red, and something I imagined would make a seventeenth Century french aristocrat blush. Their decadence paled before my annoyance, and in any other setting I’d be taken by the constabulary for wearing such a revealing outfit. However, it was the event of my symbolic execution, so I felt I deserved some indulgences. Besides, what better way for my future husband to show his devotion than having to withstand a miniscule scandal to conquer my heart? 

The scandal was perhaps larger than I intended, although I confessed the shocked gasps and mutters of the guests were quite musical to my ears. Father’s none too kind entreaties to put on a proper attire eventually wore me out, and I gave in to his mosquito-like buzzing. Still, I chose to walk by the estate’s grounds one last time as a free woman before changing.

“Boring party, is it not?”

I didn’t hear her coming, and as soon as I saw her my heart skipped a beat. I’m not sure how long I stared at her, at the way the moonlight reflected on her perfect, dark skin, that seemed masterfully sculpted in wood; her hair done up with exquisite ability, her long ballerina’s neck. My body almost trembled with alarm: not because I felt I was in danger, but because there existed the chance that this dark-eyed woman would not like me. I can’t tell why, but I wanted her to like me. I wanted to make her laugh. It was a feverish madness, one I could only half-recognize from my poetry readings. What was wrong with me? I managed to gather my thoughts somehow to reply.

“As always”, I said, trying to seem aloof and disinterested.

The woman sighed with deep, weary pity.

“As always indeed. The kraken feeds”

“The kraken?”

“My apologies. It’s just my name for it, for something that has no name and yet… The… dance of power they’re all subject to. The set of rules and ideas and norms of propriety that pulls on them like a puppeteer’s strings… except there is no singular puppetmaster. Tentacles wrap around us all… are you familiar with fractals? Endlessly repeating on every level. Inside us, the dance between desire and duty, the calculations of status and the wail of the tedious taskmaster we hold inside ourselves. Out there, everyone measuring their place, their role, knowing how to act and how not to act, following an unspoken choreography. Up there, business and bureaucracy and church pushing and pulling in their own waltz of control. And in the grand stage of nations carefully worded treaties, the threat of force, the unspoken deals set the tempo for the same dance. No puppeteer, yet all puppets. All clocks, their machinery working without a clockmaker in sight”

“What if a piece doesn’t fit?”, I asked before even realizing I was speaking.

“Oh, darling. There have always been pieces that don’t fit. A few we call poets and geniuses. Oracles, perhaps, once upon a time. However, most of them you can find in the streets, the prisons, the insane asylums”

“Now isn’t that a cheery thought. I’m sorry, I have to… try to fit in, somehow”

I was loath to leave her, which was exactly why I tried to leave quickly. I had no idea what was happening to me, but it was new and terrifying, and a cowardly part of me wanted to crawl back to the comfortable gilded cage of the familiar.

“What if you didn’t?”

Those words stopped me in my tracks.

“Excuse me?”

She walked towards me, her eyes pinning me in place.

“What if you refused the dance? What if you looked the world in the eye and simply said… no?”

It wasn't a concept I had ever even considered. There was a simple, unspoken command: one had a role, and one was expected to fulfill it; failure to do so would incur in punishment most severe, both unofficial and official, depending on the nature of the refusal.

“It’s not that easy”

“I never said it was easy. But then again, wouldn’t it be worthwhile? And in fact, you’ve already begun the most difficult part of the whole affair. You’re imagining yourself outside that place, aren’t you? The fundamental refusal to be what they demand you to be is already inside you, and growing. That word is there, even if you haven’t verbalized it”

“Saying the words is easy. Following them up is the difficult and painful part”

“And yet you are not saying the words”

“What would be the point? Words without power are but empty air”

“I’m sure you can find excuses to remain silent until you’re withered and bent, and if that’s your wish, I’ll leave you alone. Or you can speak up, even if it would only be a symbol, even if only for yourself”

She was right. I was making excuses, and my chest burned with the realization that something, some unseen jailor inside myself, was keeping me from even saying what I desired, making the words die in my throat. Was it that immoral to… want something else? To long for something different? It hurt and my mind battled itself with excuses for spears and bursts of courage for swords.

“No”

She smiled and I felt… brave. Powerful.

“No. I refuse. I refuse to do it. I refuse to go back in. I refuse to play the game. I refuse to be… anything other than what I want to be! I. Refuse!”

The world became a blur as gardens and flowerbeds flew past me, my feet off the ground, a rush of air roaring in my ears. By the time I could process how firmly she held me, how safe I felt in her arms, we were standing in an open field, painted silver by the moonlight. Her eyes seemed to shine with a light of their own.

“What… are you?”

She smiled.

“Does it matter? I am a way out. I am that ‘no’ made flesh. And I am also ‘yes’. Yes to freedom. Yes to being who you really are, to truly embody who you really feel inside, beneath layers and layers of fear and acceptance and meek malleability. I am power. The power to look the world in the eye and stand tall, without compromise. The power of pride, and the strength to let it be more than a word” 

“And you would share this with me?”

“It’s not sharing. You already have that inside you. All you need to do is open your eyes”

It wasn’t my own eyes that concerned me. It was hers. They seemed to have a galaxy within them, swirling, drawing me deeper and deeper into them… an endless ocean punctuated with the glittering of a million stars, beckoning, imprinting inside me the truth, the irrefutable nature of her words. At that moment she seemed to me more beautiful than any sunrise, more compelling than the most exquisitely articulated discourse. 

Suddenly a whole part of the world made sense like never before, a whole side to existence I had only glimpsed from a distance, in poems, in novels, in songs and the words of my friends. Not one of the endless parade of suitors had made me feel anything but amused derision. But this woman… whatever she was, whoever she was, had busted the dull gray clouds open and moonlight burst through to illuminate us in our play for two, our stage in the middle of the field.

I’m not sure when she embraced me. All I knew was that those eyes, those mesmerizing eyes put me at ease, made me desire her touch, her will, her words. I knew I could no more resist her than I could resist gravity. I wanted whatever she wanted. That was all I needed. Her lips on mine sent an electrical shock through every inch of my skin. I felt so alive, so sensitive, as if I was for the first time truly awake. I think a little moan escaped my lips. Her slender fingers brushed against my back and I shuddered, enraptured by the simple contact, the bond skin on skin forged. It was like discovering a whole new sense, a new side to the world. I couldn’t speak. I wanted her to take me, in whatever way she desired.

Soon her kisses moved down to my neck, her hand softly caressing my thigh. I had explored my body on occasion, always with the heavy blanket of shame weighing over me, but this was different. My body was free to feel, free to turn into an object of shameless, care-free pleasure, and it responded. I thought I would drown in the warmth between my legs, in the tidal wave of sensation and panting glory this creature had awakened in me. I was enslaved by her and free like never before, and I knew I’d do whatever she told me to, and I’d love every second of it. When she lowered my dress slightly and released my breast to the night air, I felt silly that I had ever hidden them in the first place. They were made to be seen, to be squeezed and fondled, to be sucked. And suck she did, with a skill that drained me of any thought or resistance, that made me weak, made me love my weakness.

I was on the ground. I couldn’t remember when I laid down. I was slipping in and out of coherence, overwhelmed by my own submission. I felt her tongue between my legs, her lips, her fingers. The world dissolved around me, and she was all that existed, all that mattered. I drifted on a warm ocean, letting wave after wave of pleasure take over me, happy to be led wherever this goddess willed…

“You are dying”

The words came as if from a great distance. They had no emotional resonance within me. I just accepted them. I was dying. I didn’t care. I just wanted to let go, to let myself be pulled by the currents of this new pleasure.

“You have lost a lot of blood. I… have taken a lot of blood. Tell me, do you want to die?”

Did I? No. Not anymore. Maybe before, but now… my only fear was to lose this new world I was just starting to explore, this freedom, this enslavement. I realized I had been dying for a long, long time, and now I was finally alive.

“No… I don’t want to die…”

“Then don’t. Refuse death itself. Refuse the light and join me in a world you’ve never imagined before”

It should have scared me, when she bit her own wrist. It didn’t. Anything would be better than the endless puppet show that had been my life. When she put her wrist near my mouth, I took her inside me, inside my veins, inside my soul. I sucked with the abandon of a nursing child, with the eagerness of a drowning sailor gasping for air in a black, merciless sea. 

And so I died.

When I was a little girl, not even six years of age, my wet nurse would tell me stories. They were stern warnings in the form of tales, in which naughty girls were taken by the Fair Folk and replaced by a strange copy so their parents wouldn’t notice; they were about strange beings with large eyes and bloody teeth who bit the bellies of sleeping girls; they were about foul witches who turned into cats and bats and watched their victims from shadowed corners. Now those stories have faded from the world, as children are raised by phones and tablets. 

Perhaps they shouldn’t have. Monsters do exist, and we do watch from dark corners. However, as monstrous as we may be, we’ll never be as inhuman as the endless dance of politeness, of what you should be, of the grind that pushes you down day after day. So don’t fear us. Know that if we come for you, we might just set you free.

Did you enjoy this story? You can support my work at patreon.com/prettynosferatu !!

[justagamerandaweeb]

Loss. - Tanjiro x (Y/N) (Platonic) Modern AU!

Synopsis: Tanjiro tries to make you crack and let it out.

Scene: you both are in a car driving after arguing with the Hashira group (specifically Sanemi).

Tw: loss of a friend, suicide mention, mentions of wrist cutting.

Tanjiro looks to his right to see (Y/N)'s hands gripped on the wheel, where their knuckles are turning white, showing clear signs of non-verbal anger. He touched their shoulder, and they rolled their shoulder, making Tanjiro's hand slide off. "C'mon, (Y/N), I'm sure Sanemi didn't mean—"

"Mean what? Say that my friend was right to end themselves in order to leave my ass? Because he said that with no hesitation. Not a single thought went up in his head for him to not say that." (Y/N) interrupted Tanjiro, showing clear signs of abhorrence in their voice. "Like, how fucking disconnected with society do you have to be to straight up tell someone that to their face?"

"I know you're angry, but, I'm sure he'll apologize. He has to otherwise the others will hate him for it." Tanjiro spoke out, trying to give Sanemi the benefit of the doubt as he was in the moment arguing with them. "I have every fucking right to be angry! I've known them for fucking years, and he doesn't know jack shit about what we went through together!" (Y/N) said, with their voice breaking little by little.

Tanjiro puts his hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder again, but this time, they didn't roll their shoulder. Tanjiro took this a s an opportunity for him to talk as he says, "(Y/N), what happened to (F/N) isn't your fault. Not you, not Sanemi, not Inosuke, not even the delinquents at our university. You're not the only one who's dealing losing someone. I mean, my dad..."

"Yes, your dad died from an illness that gave him a slow and painful death! The only difference is that your Dad encouraged you to be a better person and treat others with respect! Meanwhile, I never knew my dad, and my mom is dying from a fucking genetic disease that has no cure! It doesn't make it any better at the fact that my friend killed themselves because people pushed them too far!"

"I... So, who do you want to blame?"

"Myself, if that wasn't fucking obvious!" (Y/N) said as tears started to streak down their face. Tanjiro was shocked at this, because he could understand if they'd blame the loss of their friend on the people that antagonized them, but they blame themselves? Over something they had no control over?

"You blame yourself? Really?"

"Yes, I do. I decided to be a stubborn dickhead about my friend's mental health, even though they had cuts on their wrists, and they told me not to worry about it. All because they had therapy, and was "getting better"."

Tanjiro was shocked at the fact (Y/N) said that to him. Even when they had cuts, they told them not to worry about it. They took that into consideration, and rolled with it, until it was too late.

"My friend's Mom actually blames herself. She's a single parent who had a lot of shit on her plate trying to live in a stable environment for them, and her younger children. She was so busy with everything that she couldn't find the time to check on her own child. Sometimes, I blame myself for that."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, Tanjiro, I do. Do you know what it's like to see a text that was sent at two in the morning that reads, "I'll miss you." after waking up three hours later? Do you know what's it like feeling someone's parent hugging you at a funeral and repeating, "I'm sorry." to you like it's their fault? Do you?"

Tanjiro started to get a little bit teary-eyed at those questions, as in a honesty, no, he hasn't. Outside of his dad, he's never lost anyone important to him, and it didn't feel fair to him, he's been blessed with the life that was given to him while (Y/N) was living the exact opposite.

"Their birthday was fucking yesterday. No one else but me, their mom, and their siblings came to visit their grave. Some fucking friends I have that won't there to comfort us." (Y/N) said as they wiped their face and eyes, and sniffled.

His hand from (Y/N)' shoulder, to their back, as he caresses them and says, "No, I don't know what it's like to go through all that. But I can imagine how much pain you're going through. I understand the pain you're dealing with if I went through it through your perspective, but—"

"You see? It's always that kind of bullshit that people say! "I know what you're going through. I understand your pain. I can see it through your perspective." How about you shut your fucking mouth when you say dumb shit like that? Because no, you don't understand what I'm going through. If you did, you wouldn't be saying the most basic shit just to sympathize with me!" (Y/N) bellowed as they were about to hammer fist the steering wheel, but let out a sigh of sadness as they lowered their hand down.

(Y/N) decided to park at some sort of supermarket as they turned the car off, and laid their head down on the steering wheel. They started to elicit sounds of soft crying as their forearms were crossed together, dangling. "Why couldn't it have been me?" They whimpered out as their breath started to hiccup.

Tanjiro wiped his eyes as he spoke up to (Y/N), "Now, I know you don't mean that. Would you have been happy if you were to take your own life, and left them alone?"

"If it meant my friend still being on this planet, yes. I have nothing else in this world. As everyone I have cared for has either forgotten about me, or straight up left me. So that already tells me that I'm not good enough to be anyone's friend. But they knew what it was like, and the bond that we created was so genuine, it was like I had a real friend. And now they're gone..."

"But you're still here. You still have a life ahead of you. You still have time to make new friends and make good memories. It's what they would want you to do. Move on, honor their memory, make them proud." (Y/N) looked at him with red puffed eyes and sniffed the snot in their nose. "Let me drive. The least I can do is give yourself some rest as we drive back to campus." (Y/N) continued to stare at him for a couple of seconds before they unbuckled their seatbelt and opened the door.

Tanjiro took off his seat belt hopped in the driver's seat and turned the car on as he put on the seatbelt. (Y/N) opens the passenger door and sits down as they close the door and buckle up. They laid their head against the window as Tanjiro put his hand on their shoulder and said, "It's gonna be alright, I promise." He puts the car out of park, and left the parking lot as he went back on the road, and drove.

A couple minutes after the argument, they both arrived at the residential hall of the campus. Tanjiro puts the car in park, and took the keys out of the ignition as he looked to his left to see (Y/N) asleep. He softly shook them and they woke up. Their eyes were still red, with little bags under their eyes as they asked, "We're here?"

Tanjiro nods as (Y/N) lets out a sigh of disappointment as they unbuckle their belt, and got out of the car. Tanjiro followed suit as he followed (Y/N) and walked up the mini-stairs of the building's main door. (Y/N) grabbed the knob and struggled to open the door as it was looked. Tanjiro tapped their shoulder as they turned back to see Tanjiro with the keys in his hand.

They grabbed it, picked out the key for the main door, and unlocked it. "Thanks." "Anytime." Tanjiro responded with a soft smile on his face. (Y/N) extended their hand out to him for a handshake, but he politely declined as he decided to go for a hug instead. (Y/N) was a little stunned at this, but still accepted it as they wrapped their arms around him too.

They both stayed like that for the last 15 seconds, before Tanjiro disconnected himself from them. He softly puts his hand on his shoulder as he says, "You'll get through this, alright? You're stronger than you think you are. And hey, if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone, don't be afraid to call any of us. Me, Tomioka-san, Rengoku-san, any one of us, we'll be there, okay?"

They softly nodded as they huskily said, "Okay." Tanjiro softly smiles as he pats their shoulder and says, "Take care of yourself, alright?" And walks off. He looks back and waves goodbye at them, as (Y/N) follows suit before going inside. Hang in there, (Y/N). We'll make sure we make you feel special.

My first angst, and it's something I relate to on a personal level. Never thought I would be making angst, considering my account, but, here we are. Don't ask for a part two, by the way, I'm not going to.

[sugaldean]

People say Aziraphale and Crowley are Taylor Swift coded.

Babe wake up they are ABBA. Every song fit them.

Okay so I planned to put 3 or 5 songs but I fell down a deep hole of Abba/Good Omens so yeah have this.

Spoilers for the season 2, even tho not every song is about it

SOS? Every lyrics is them

Angel eyes? I mean come on the title only and it's nothing compared to the chorus

Lay all your love on me? Crowley is the one who told them to write that, he needed a song to express what it felt (re)meeting Aziraphale in the garden

Waterloo? Crowley is a drama queen, they sing this from the bottom of their lungs

The name of the game? Aziraphale. Oblivious lovely Aziraphale (and you make me talk, and you make me feel, and you make me show what I'm trying to conceal?? Yeah my boy wrote that one)

WINNER TAKES FUCKING IT ALL??? Don't talk to me

Knowing me knowing you is the long version of "Nothing lasts forever" and I'm not okay

One of us? You know the scene in mamma mia? Yeah it happened. One hundred percent. Two dramatic bitches crying about how they are the one who's abandonned

Take a chance on me? Both of them. Oblivious Aziraphale and flirty Crowley

Mamma Mia? Both of them. Every one or two century or decade (here I go again, how can I resist you Bla Bla Bla)

Dancing Queen? Is about Aziraphale. It is him

I've been waiting for you? Aziraphale for Crowley. (you thrill me, you delight me, you please me, you excite me, you're something inde been pleading for. I love you, I adore you. I LAY MY LIFE BEFORE YOU Aziraphale literally would declare his love with this exact words)

As good as new? I know this one isn't as known but for season 3 it's Aziraphale.

(I'll never know why I had to go

...

And know look at me standing here again cause I found out that my life is here

Gotta have you here.

As good as new my love for you)

Voulez vous ? About the fact that they keep meeting and fell in love and they do it all again everytime. Meaning all the good but also the misunderstanding?

I HAVE A DREAM?? Aziraphale. "You can take the future even if you fail? I believe in angels??"

If it wasn't for the nights? Change nights with when we see each other (which is basically what the nights are in the song) and it's just them screaming that they live for when they see each other and thank god they are busy otherwise they would turn so mad to not see each other more

Chiquitita? Crowley helping Aziraphale after a bad day. (I've seen you've broken a feather, Chiquitita you and I know how the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving. Yeah Crowley sing to your boyfriend how hard days and works can be and how it pills up to hurt you)

Kisses of fire? No comment on this one. But yeah (not sexual pure emotion). (Touch my lips, close your eyes and see with your fingertips... Hmm yeah sure yep yep no hard feeling with this hand of Aziraphale begging to give in THIS scene)

Gimme gimme gimme? Rare exception here. Crowley is not the one tired of them turning around each other. It's Aziraphale who decide to put on a show.

Money money money? Sugar daddies

My love my life? Oh my heart is just shattered on the ground.

The mirror of your eyes: Crowley's glasses.

My love my life are the words I try to find: Aziraphale stuttering to find his word

But I know I don't possess you, so go away god bless you, you are still my love and my life. Bawling my eyes out, ripping my ribcage open

Super trouper? Just Aziraphale so happy to do his magic show. But only if Crowley is here to watch him. Otherwise why put on a show? No matter who is looking no eyes are dearer than their.

Our last summer? Funny funny. We took our chance like we were dancing our last dance, yeah no idea what chance or dance that could refer to in the last happy moments they gad together hmm?

Me and I is about the duality of feelings in Aziraphale, the fight between what he loves about heaven and what he loves about humanity and goodness + makes me think of him and Crowley being stringer together but we leave the meaning of the song (We're like the sun and rainy weather sometimes we are a hit together)

Elaine is Crowley singing about how Heaven know Aziraphale too well and they will tie him up so he does its will. I'm not kidding. (You curse, you try to scare, but you can never teach them, it's a dead end street, they tied your hands and tied your feet... You come, you stay, you go, it really doesn't matter, you've done it all before, by know they know the pattern)

I do, I do, I do? Crowley stop begging, I'm already crying. (Love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me I love you. I do, I do, I do...)

Hey hey Helen? Crowley is being petty. "So you're free at last and beginning to forget the past, does it make you sad when you think about the life you had?" (tbf I always felt uncomfortable about that song but it weirdly fits

Tropical loveland? To Crowley it's Alpha Centauri, to Aziraphale it's heaven. (Just take my hand, I'll show you everything. The secrets that my paradise can bring. I wanna share it with you)

I wonder? Aziraphale stop trying to convince yourself. DON'T GO

I'm a marionnette ? Okay I know you think it's about Aziraphale. But no. It's about Crowley. Because yes he has free will. At least more than Aziraphale. But up until this scene, he always did what Aziraphale wanted. Never refused him anything. (also this song gives me anxiety)

Honey honey? Well. I really like them as aroace. But I'll give it to you Aziraphale might have thought this.

[my-own-au-my-way]

Sukuna-mechanic part 10

The atmosphere suddenly felt Ice cold, Sukuna with a coffee In hand stares Lucas down. The only sounds were the few silent whispers of the people around them. When Lucas pulled away from Y/n the relief was all but temporary, watching as he was now sizing up Sukuna. Suddenly Lucas spoke up, sounding rather offended."Tsk who might you be?, what I do Is none of your business."

Sukuna raises a brow, a mocking smirk tugging at the corner of his lips."So what you are saying Is, what you are doing Is none of my business-." Sukuna stepped closer almost towering over Lucas,"Then since we are In a public space here In a coffee shop, Its none of these customers business?."

Backing down, Lucas grabbed Y/n's arm rather tight. The packet with Sukunas hoodie dropped, snapping her out of this daze she was In.

Standing firm not wanting to leave with Lucas, the look he gave her glancing over his shoulder. It sent a chill down her spine, not In a good way either. Forgetting her wrist been gripped to the point his finger nails almost digging into her skin, his look flooding her mind with past memories.

His cold voice snapping her out of her thoughts,"I go abroad for a few years and you attract a mans attention that Is not me?. If you come with me, I might decide to let this Incident slide."

Those words brought back memories she suppressed for a few years, how he became possessive of her. The way Jessica back then helped her find him a girl that could keep him busy In her place. The way he tears up other girls confession letters, It should have showed how cold he could be.

Another hard pull forced her thoughts back to earth again, almost tripping over herself until someone grabbed Lucas by the arm hard enough that Lucas releases Y/n.

Stepping back and hurriedly picks up the hoodie still In the packet, hugging it tightly while trying to calm her breathing. All the gazes on this scene making her feel like running off and hiding In her room, suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around her. A warm embrace from behind, feeling someones warmth from behind decides to look up. Y/n was stunned, It was Sukuna and his cold gaze still on Lucas. Following his gaze, Lucas looked Infuriated to the point he was gritting his teeth and his fists clenched at his sides.

Sukunas then chuckled, sounding rather amused."So you try picking on someones girl when you have a girlfriend?. You have the balls to make a scene here In front of others without even thinking that maybe your girl was here watching?. Maybe try turning around and facing her, or could It be you were just playing with her?."

Lucas then seemed to suddenly turn pale and his sudden confident demeanor deflated, turning to see the girlfriend of his that had taken the promise ring off her finger and dropped It on the floor. Once she started walking off, he ran off In seconds forgetting Y/n.

At that moment Sukuna leads Y/n out of the cafe, knowing she was freezing up from all the stares.

The fact he even saved Y/n made her think, was he just protective?. Yet somehow his mumbling that she managed to catch told her otherwise.

@gojos-version

(apologies almost tagging on a seperate blog of mine. Here you go!.)

[smosh-fessions]

To the person who said that they thought that Damien had a bit of a 'superiority complex' re being vocal about not liking it when friends cheat in relationships, and then commented (they said it was their confession) on one of the most recent confessions about it saying that they just 'don't think it's their business' whether or not people cheat:

If your friend admits to you that they're cheating/have cheated on someone, 1. It *BECOMES* 'your business' *when they TELL YOU about it*!! *You* are now privy to sensitive information that you otherwise wouldn't have been *because of this person*, and it's a lot of pressure to put on the person being told - they often now have to decide whether to tell the person being cheated on about it or not, making it *now their business*!. 2. Unless for some weird reason you deliberately *want* shitty friends, it is usually the BARE MINIMUM ASK of a friend, to not want them (as blog admin said) to be a "lying, betraying asshole"!! (If that's what they're like in a relationship, who's to say what they'll ssy or do to you, as their friend?!)

As a concerned friend, Damien was well within his rights to express his disappointment/opinions there. It's not having a superiority complex to *not want others to get hurt*, and it's been proven time and time again that CHEATING HURTS PEOPLE.

(Also if you're the person I think you are: Please shut up and leave blog admin alone, you're continuing to harass them *despite them asking you to not interact with these posts anymore and blocking you*. And yes, if you *keep trying to interact with someone when they've explicitly asked you not to and even blocked you* - News flash: IT IS HARASSMENT!!)

SO sorry admin, usually I don't bother/try not to engage with discourse-y type posts and asks, but this whole situation (both the opinion expressed and the fact that I think it's the person who's been repeatedly harassing you??) has been REALLY pissing me off, even just as a follower witnessing it. You don't deserve the shit you've been getting!

I appreciate this a lot. The idea that you should also never hold a friend accountable for willingly hurting people makes my brain actually hurt. I 100% expect my friends to call me out on shitty behavior because that's what friends are supposed to do. A good friend won't just sit there and let you sabotage people's lives and trust. They will tell you you're being awful and that you need to fix whatever the heck it is that's making you act this way, and if you refuse to they are well in their rights to cut you off. It's absolutely normal on every level to not want someone in your life who is perfectly content with causing people emotional turmoil.

Reserving judgement on people is supposed to be for stuff like not judging them for the weird hobby they have or their eccentric fashion sense. It's not for letting someone cause others pain because cheating is a very, very deliberate act that you know will hurt someone, sometimes for life.

Declaring that it's not our place to judge while they're judging Damien for his response is also one hell of a stance to have.