#decency has left the chat

[swampstew]

Choke and die on my dick, kellyanne

[prettyboykatsuki]

your kind of like | h. suo

✮ tags ; fem!reader, tomboy / athlete!reader, friends to lovers, third-year suo but its not super important, mutual pining, silly shoujo tropes lol, i headcanon tsubaki using she/they pronouns

✮ wc ; 2k (??????)

✮ a/n ; based on violets request for suo + my tomboy reader delusions. reader is a himbo but a girl and i love her.

also sorry if i completely butchered this guy LOOOL

The first time Suo lays eyes on you, you're half-way up a tree - a few feet from the ground, trying to coax and old lady's cat to jump on you and come down safely.

He remembers it in great detail since it left a lasting impression. How you rolled your skirt up so it wouldn't get in your way, how your face and hands were covered in scratches - and most particularly, how you smiled the entire time. How you were loud as you clicked your tongue but soft to it once it jumped into your arms.

You had jumped onto the soles of your feet with great force but the kitty seemed calm in your arms after a while. Bright as the sun and twice as warm, you returned the cat to it's owner and then, met Suo for the first time.

You give him your name, your age, your birthday - and then ask him for the same. When he gives it to you, you clap a hand on his shoulder and tell him it's so good to meet him.

Suo does not believe in love at first sight. Koi no yokan—love at second sight, or the feeling when you meet someone that loving them is your destiny. If Suo could put a name to that feeling, it was probably that.

He was bound to love you from that very instance.

For the last two years, he's been going straight down that path with no resistance and insurmountable clarity.

It's natural for Suo to make comparatives. It's the type of person he is, the kind of fighter he sets himself up to be. Primarily a martial artists with a preference to keep calm requires strategizing.

Drawing connections comes to him as easy as breathing.

So, if he had to compare him to you, there's no end of things that make you incredibly different. Almost opposite in all ways except your decency. Compared to Suo, you are loud and brutish and strong. You're easy to read in a way that reminds him of Sakura, but denser. Your nature is tough and absurdly honest.

You don't often fight outside of your sport for one reason or another, but when you do - you prefer to tank hits instead of avoid them. Everything you feel always shows on your face.

He's never met a girl so earnest in his entire life.

He's never really met anyone like you in general.

After your first meeting, you began to get friendly with him and Bofurin in general. A student athlete in an all-girls school in the same town, you're often in the area doing odd jobs for money. You live with your brother who works in the city, and you're the youngest of your family. You're incapable of lying, even when it might benefit you and you like sweet things.

You're nice to everyone and like to chat up whoever's around, but you like Suo especially. You often ditch class to go to Furin and hang out with them and you're rarely intimidated by anyone. You're comfortable with his friends, though you seem especially fond of Nirei and Sugashita. Sakura too, though he has yet to know how to act around you even this many years later.

Your relationship is as normal as any other friendship, but maybe that's part of the problem. You treat Suo as thoughtful as you would any other friend - even when he refuses to tell you about himself. You're not hurt by the fact he's got walls up so high, and you don't hound him when he can't be straight with you.

You understand Suo as a friend and don't bother with any other details. You just.. get him. So effortlessly. And even when you don't, nothing changes.

The nature of Bofurin after all, leads Suo to fights that leave him in emotional tatters. Moments where anyone else would ask to open up, you remain steadfast. Your friendship is a lot like you, sturdy beyond his understanding

(Countless times, Suo has shown up at your door unannounced - often covered in bruises and battered. You worry and anger, but you always let him. Take care of his wounds, let him borrow your shower. Even going so far as sneaking him into your room when your brother was home, just so he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts.

He can't count how many times he's slept across from you in your bed. Dense. An honest idiot. A girl with no self-preservation who's letting a guy sleep alongside her with no care.

Suo always feels apologetic the next morning and you smile and go along like nothing happened. It might've been true in your case, but in his - he fell in love a little more each time.)

Because you're that way - Suo finds it hard to deal with his feelings. With the enormity of them, the intensity of them. You're not totally clueless - but when people talk about relationships or dating, it always seems like it has nothing to do with you.

If you were anyone else, he thinks it'd be easy to confess to you. If you had been another girl, or less of a friend.

But it's you. The bright, earnest, tough, you. He can't even bring himself to flirt with you or treat you idly despite how much he likes you. He knows better than anyone how good you are, and can't pretend to be anything less than honest about it. He adores you so utterly that it'd be pointless to even try to pretend to have the advantage.

He can be a tease. A flirt, if he wants to be. With anyone else it'd be easy. But with you, the love is so genuine it's impossible. He just wants to cherish you. Wants to shower you in affection, wants to spoil you and give you all of his time.

Friends is such a hard line in the sand. The minute Suo crosses it, there's never going to be anyway to go back to how you were before. He's been careful in being content with just friends, because he'd rather keep you in his life than not have you at all by scaring you away with his feelings.

He thinks it'll all be fine until Nirei tells him word on the block about a recent confession.

__

"A kouhai from a different team asked you out?"

Suo reaches out to wipe the grain of rice from the corner of your mouth as you eat onigiri. Your carelessness endears him but he's too distracted by the rumor to pay it any mind. You nod, swallowing with a sip of water.

"Uh-huh. Akira-kun. Dun' know his first name, but he's a good kid. Super tall for being younger, though."

Suo was sure he would never have to worry about this since you went to an all-girls school. To think you'd get a confession from a fellow student athlete, a boys member of an opposing team. He tries not to get irritated at the thought.

"Are you interested in him?"

You pause. Suo feels his heart race before you answer with a shrug and continue to eat your bento.

"Dunno the guy enough to like 'im. He seems nice. I told him as much but he said that was fine," You pick at the veggies in your bento, taking a bite out of one. "So he asked me on a date instead so we could get to know each other."

"Oh?" Suo forces himself to smile and keep his voice even. "Are you going to go?"

You nod and Suo feels his heart stop. Shit.

"Really? I'm surprised."

You hum. "Well, you know, I've never been on a date," You say, suddenly smiling. You look so genuinely happy Suo can't bring himself to be totally upset. "But, it sounds super fun! We're gonna go to a batting cage in another prefecture."

He looks at you in surprise. "A batting cage?"

"Well, he thought I'd like that more than other date ideas, but I'm not all that picky since I've never been."

"You already talked about it a lot then."

"Uh-huh. He laughed when I said I wanted to go eat meat after. Said that was just like me... somehow I don't get it, but I'm happy anyway. I hope it'll be fun."

Suo smiles his best business smile and tells himself beating the shit out of his friends kouhai for flirting with her is wrong. "Hm. Are you prepared to go on the date?"

"You sound like Tsubaki-chan," You lament. "She made me go get nice clothes and everything."

....

"She did, huh? That sounds just like her. Did Kotoha-san go too?"

"Mhm. They just picked it out for me since I'm not good with any of that. Tsubaki-chan is so beautiful so I trust her."

"Mm,"

"What's wrong?"

You're looking at him with such clear eyes it makes Suo guilty. He knows if he says nothing now, you'll drop it without question. That's just how you are. But for once he doesn't really want to drop it. It's too impulsive and entirely rash but he really...

"You know, if you wanted go on a date - I could've just taken you."

You pause then grin a little. "Dates are for people in like, you know."

Of course you would assume it was a joke. Suo pauses, suddenly looking serious.

"So, if I told you I liked you - would you consider going on a date with me?"

"Sure," You smile because you definitely still think he's joking. But it's a pretty, honest smile anyway. "But Suo-kun doesn't need to ask me for anything. We can always just go together."

He still himself as he scoots in closer to you where you sit, pushing your lunches out of the way and closing the distance to look at you closer. You blink in surprise but don't back away or flinch.

"I'm being serious you know?" He hums softly. It's less hard to say than he thought, but maybe it's because he's already been willing to put everything on the line for you from the start. "I really like you. In that way."

You blink. "...Huh?"

He can't help himself. He'll apologize later. Your breath is warm and soft when he leans in and presses his lips to yours for too long. You don't push him away, uncannily receptive to the touch. You taste salty. Suo kisses you for as long as you'll let him and pulls away only for breath.

He isn't sure what he's expecting, but the jump from pure shock to pure embarrassment surprises him. You put a hand on your shoulder, jaw open in disbelief.

"....So it was like that," You mumble, in shock. "It was... really like that?"

"For a long time, now"

"I also like Suo-kun, but how shocking."

Suo stares at you. "Are you sure your like and my like are the same? I get the feeling that -"

You press your lips to his as if to prove a point, pulling away and brushing it off just as quickly. He can feel the heat rise to his neck in immediate disbelief. You frown at him "Between us, I'm the one who's good at being honest so don't be like that,"

He just... stares. He's elated but completely confused. "Why didn't you confess earlier?"

You smile sheepishly. "Being your friend is also good, so I was okay with not changing it. It's hard to tell what you're thinking and I didn't think it was important."

He laughs in disbelief, dropping his head down to your shoulder. He didn't think he would be this happy. He didn't even think it was possible. "How could that not be important?"

"You're more important to me than that," You say easily, though he can hear your beating from where his head is. "I'm happy we like each other but I care the most about Suo-kun's feelings and being with you since you're important to me. I want to be with you for a long time."

Ah. In some regards, it seems like Suo is never going to be able to one-up you. He laughs in disbelief as his arms snake around your waist, crushing you more tightly in his arms than he can bear. You giggle so sweetly when he does he thinks he might really be done for. His usual demeanor comes in easy, calm and collected but absolutely estatic.

"It sounds like a proposal." He mumbles, almost lovesick.

"We could get married but you have to ask my brother first."

Suo laughs brightly against your neck. "Be less casual about something like that," And then a little softer. "But yes, we'll stay together as long as you want."

He holds you like that a little bit longer.

[cottonlemonade]

Plan B [part 2]

word count: 1490 || avg. reading time: 6 mins.

pairing: post-time skip Kuroo x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

part 1 for context

Of course your staff had immediately informed you about the display from the day before when you came in the following morning. The barista even showed you a few snapshots he had taken with his phone and as much as you hated to admit it, you would have loved to have been there to see it in person. Pictures didn’t really do him justice, you thought. “Should I send those to you, manager?”, the barista asked with a knowing smirk. When you didn’t say anything but just stoically walked past him into the kitchen, you were glad when your phone buzzed a few seconds later and a small flood of pictures appeared in your chat. You cleared your throat and got to work.

Despite his regular appearances the last couple of weeks, the guy didn’t show up again the next day. Or even the day after that.

“Maybe he actually finally gave up?”, the waitress suggested with a shrug. She was counting the receipts while the barista helped you clean the espresso maker.

“I hope not. What else are we gonna do for entertainment around here?”

“How about your job.”, you suggested.

The barista let out a theatrical groan, which earned him a dish towel to the face.

At this point, a week had passed since the last time you saw the guy and although you found your thoughts wandering to his handsome smile every so often, you decided it was most likely for the better.

It was late in the evening and the café was closed for the day. The sky was gray and obviously brewing up something unpleasant so you wanted to make sure to send your team home as quickly as possible.

Soon enough, after hugs and waves goodbye, you locked the glass door from the inside and went to the kitchen to prep food for the next day.

You had just started to mash up a bowl of overripe bananas when a soft knocking made you look up and glance through the serving hatch.

The wind outside brushed past the shops with a low whistle and you could make out a very familiar shape in the dim light of the streetlamps.

More excited than you’d like to admit you made your way to the door.

“Sorry, I’m late.”, the guy’s voice was muffled through the glass.

You pointed to the Closed sign with a raised eyebrow. He put his hands together in a silent plea.

With a very big eye roll you grabbed the keys from your apron pocket and opened the door a handwidth.

“Hi.”

“Hey there.”

“I need a cake.”

“Goodbye.”, you closed the door again.

“Please!”, he called.

You shook your head and gestured to your ear to signal you couldn’t hear him.

He thought for a moment, then took out his phone and began to type something. A few seconds later he held the screen up against the glass.

Forgot to get cake for friend’s birthday.

You pulled a notepad from your belt and wrote “unfortunate” in response.

Low rumbling of thunder made you both look to the horizon. A few moments passed in which he threw you puppy dog eyes. You sighed loudly and unlocked the door again.

Not a minute too soon. With the click of the lock the first heavy raindrop hit the windowfront.

“Thank you.”, he said with a grateful smile.

“Don’t mention it. But you will have to live with what’s left of the day. The ones for tomorrow still need to be decorated.”

He followed you to the counter, having the decency to look apologetic as you waved him to come along further to check out the cakes in the fridge.

He chose a white chocolate cake with strawberries and you carried it back to the front to pack it up.

“How has your last week been?”, he asked as you worked.

“Uhm, I made my best cinnamon rolls yet and finally found my TV remote. So pretty good, I’d say. How about you?”

“Not as good as yours apparently. Pretty busy. I had to do some traveling and give a bunch of presentations. Sorry I couldn’t come by to bring up that counter you keep on the blackboard.”

You closed your eyes and made an indefinable noise. You'd have to talk to your staff about the concept of discretion.

“Technically, that means I owe you at least one.”

“Oh, please don’t.”

He swaggered closer and, leaning on the counter, considered you for a moment.

You held his gaze, expecting the worst.

“Wait, I… actually forgot what I wanted to say."

You tried not to smile but were betrayed by your pursed lips.

"Gotta be honest, of all your flirting so far that has been the best one."

He gave you a half smile.

"How about you don't see it as flirting. See it as me just being extra friendly to someone extra beautiful."

You scoffed but couldn’t stop a short sort of giggle escaping your lips.

After a moment’s pause he added, now with genuine sweetness, "Go out with me. Just once. I promise it'll be fun. And really, what's the worst that can happen?"

"Where do I even start?"

"Okay. But besides that, the worst that can happen is that we realize we don't have anything in common."

You looked at him, your head slightly tilted in thought.

"Like, what are you doing tonight after work?", he suggested.

"Well, I’m meeting some friends."

"What will you be doing?”

“A museum has a science night we wanna check out.”

“Oh! Really?”, he asked excitedly, dropping his flirtatious manner completely. And sure enough this little piece of information carried you through the subject of scientific fun facts to books to hobbies and so on. The rain had lessened significantly but an hour later he was still there, sitting on a chair at the kitchen island, talking while you worked, peppering in little compliments here and there but keeping it mostly pleasantly fluffy.

When you eventually parted in front of the café, Kuroo hesitated, obviously thinking about how to say Goodbye. In the end you both settled for slightly awkward smiles and went your separate ways.

He had an extra spring in his step as he arrived at the restaurant, incredibly late but incredibly happy. His friend accepted the cake with a tipsy, somewhat off-key belt of “Happy birthday to me!” and pointed to a free seat next to Kenma.

"Someone's looking chipper.", his former setter commented and accepted a slice of birthday cake, “Why did you leave me here alone?”

“You’re hardly alone, Kenma-kun.”, the older one said vaguely, "I had to pick up the cake first. I only remembered when I was already at work."

"So… is it from that little café?"

Kuroo shrugged, but was unable to hide a grin.

His friend lifted a brow. Originally, Kuroo hadn’t meant to talk about it. About how he didn't expect you two to actually have so much in common, about how funny you were, how smart and how gorgeous you looked even after a long day at work. How you practically made him beg to get into the café at all and how easy it was to talk to you once the ice was broken. It took him a few minutes to finally stop gushing.

"Sounds like a very promising night.", Kenma said approvingly, hoping he’d finally be free of his friend’s whining about why you wouldn’t go out with him, "So you got her number, then."

Kuroo's dreamy expression fell at once. "Oh.”

The sun glistened on the streets still soaked from last night’s rain but the air smelled fresh and you hummed to yourself when you thought about the previous evening. As you unlocked the cafe’s front door you heard someone calling your name and turned around.

Your stomach dropped when you spotted Kuroo on the other side of the road, waiting to cross safely.

“Good morning.”, he said, a little out of breath but with a winning smile.

“Good morning. What brings you by so early?”

“I have a full day today so I wouldn’t be able to come by otherwise.”

You tried hard not to look too pleased.

“I was wondering, if - I mean, I forgot to - Could I have your number?”

Pretending to think about it, you opened the door.

“Do you want that on a to-go cup?”

“That would be easier to brag with.”, he said, nodding thoughtfully and stepping in behind you.

While you prepared his usual, Kuroo watched you closely and you weren’t sure if the pink in his cheeks was from his jog here or something else.

When you handed him his tea a few minutes later he stood there, looking you up and down with his cheeky grin.

You squinted in suspicion.

“You look even cuter than usual today.”

“Get out before I charge you double.”

He lifted the cup and winked. “Talk to you later.”

[abibliophobiaa]

Hi Luna! I hope you're feeling better! I hope you don't mind me asking, but I was wondering if you know what happened to Emmy's (upsidedownwithsteve)'s blog? I was away all day yesterday and when I went to read one of her fics last night, it asked me for a password? If you don't feel comfortable answering this, I totally understand. I would also be happy to come off anon to chat directly if that makes more sense. Anyway, can't wait for the final part of RWYLM and I hope you feel better soon! Xx

She actually just posted something over on AO3, for anyone who was looking and searching (I saw a few people asking yesterday alone). I posted it down below.

It’s unfortunate that people on here are just so nasty. And it’s honestly why you’re seeing the fandom continue to shrink. I don’t really understand what people’s goals are. Other than being mean for the sake of being mean.

You curate your own space, and when you run all the writers off this site, what fandom experience are you going to have left? Think about it.

It makes me not even want to be on this site anymore (I’ve already been limiting my time on, which I’m sure many have noticed). And I’m sure I’m not the only one on here feeling this way as well.

I’d just say check on your favorite authors, because it definitely hurts when one (like Emmy and many others at this point) that we all love gets quite literally run off the site. And I’m sure it also prompts some to reevaluate whether or not this is a safe or fun space anymore.

Especially when this is someone (Emmy) who has always been kind to those around her (myself included), and is running her own business and pregnant. She should be ENJOYING this season, and some people just have literally no sense of decorum or common decency.

Remember that WE ARE ALL HUMANS ON HERE.

KINDNESS is free.

Just some food for thought. 🤍

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch - LiTA (Sky/Prapai) 2/3

It took me much longer than expected to make it through the first two episodes of Sky x Prapai's arc in Love in the Air, but Prapai called Sky his boyfriend out of nowhere, so now I understand that he is Manifest Destiny-ing his way to love, and for the non-Americans, that's bad. Like real bad.

Let me be like Prapai and keep marching forward even though all the signs are telling me to stop.

In my first year of teaching, I was told I couldn't want the grade more the student did. I was reminded that some students don't want A's. Some students just want to pass the course, and that's fine. I need to take that approach with Prapai because he held Sky while he clung to him and cried for the nightmares to leave him in peace, yet in the morning, Prapai slings it back in Sky's face and makes it callously sexual. Clearly, Prapai doesn't want points for Slytherin. He does not want an A in decency. He does not want to pass "Go" on the board. Whatever he wants is between him and the demons he is fighting because obviously this ho does not want to be saved.

"Let me help you" - Look at that! As soon as you let men go, they wanna come back correct. Asking to help instead of forcibly inserting himself. Wow! So you are capable of not making everything aggressively sexual?

I'm watching you like a fucking hawk, Slytherin, which if you want to pass this course, you will note that hawks eat snakes, so basically I'm telling you I will devour you whole if you make another wrong move.

"That's all I ask," he says as he asks for EVERYTHING. "I will not restrain myself next time." "You cannot escape me." "Has he blocked this number?" Sky, babe, hon, bestie, rob this fucking man in his sleep. Take the watch off his wrist, the money from his wallet, and the audacity out of his mouth. These are the queer wrongs I'm trying to support this month.

"You should be spanked" - So 🙃 . . . IGNORING THAT! As a lifelong member and advisor of Greek life (fraternities and sororities are different for BIPOC), every time I see these university rituals, I always wonder what is the equivalent of a compliance officer in other countries because This. Is. Hazing.

And now Payu and Prapai are just hanging out at university activities like THEY DON'T GOT JOBS! Payu has a room in a garage, a room at his house with a toy car collection, and a terrified mechanic hiding under cars, so the man has got bills. Prapai has companies (plural) to run, and an overworked and rightfully annoyed (always in red) secretary holding down the fort, yet he is on a little vacay. Women in GLs - big bosses and screwing at work on company time. Men in BLs - FORGETTING THEY HAVE JOBS!

*Regina George has entered the chat* So you agree? You think you're a bad guy to Sky?

Every time Payu or Prapai mentions getting a reward (for not assaulting the boy they are chasing after especially when that boy is in a vulnerable position), I think of the conversation between Uea and King in episode five (part one) of Bed Friend when King asked for a reward and Uea said "The fuck you just say? Get outta here with that noise" then he left. Uea would eat these men alive.

The thinnest of ice, Prapai. I can see the freezing water rushing underneath. That's how thin the ice is that you are on, sir.

Because Prapai is confessing to sleeping with three other people since he began stalking Sky (no shame, as one slut to another, I'm actually very proud he admitted to it), can we get a STI test? We got condoms, so miracles can happen.

*squints* Is that a heart on your chest, Sky? No, I'm not angry. No, you're not in trouble. No, you're perfect. I'm just working through my own stuff, so I'm gonna need a minute to process this.

If you wanna live that chismosa life, you gotta be aware of your surroundings. Amateur.

Yeah yeah yeah, the wind needs the windmill or whatever dumb shit Dangerous Romance said. Now go make the lapel pin of it, and GET BACK TO WORK! This reeks of nepotism because there is no other way you would still have a job.

Prapai calls Sky by his name, no honorifics. Prapai sleeps on the floor. Prapai asks his mom for advice on how to care for someone. *squints* This is sus af.

And now he is swerving advances and doing his job. *squints even harder* Are you actually trying to pass this course now?

I, too, would be sad if rope was spewing out of my shirt like that.

Prapai just swindled a key to Sky's apartment without asking Sky for it. WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO FUCKING PASS THIS COURSE?! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR ASS AGAIN NEXT SEMESTER!

I play with my ears when I get tired, so now I feel even more connected to you Sky, and PRAPAI IS KISSING YOU?! NOOOOO! STOP!!!!! HE'S TIRED! LEAVE MY BOY ALONE!

"I can't guarantee your safety if I stay" - It was a fake out, and I have lost years off my life because of this show. YEARS!

The first step is admitting you have a problem are the problem. *growth*

I'm not going to question the aerodynamics of riding with that project on a bike, but I will state that Prapai is the prefect example of the MAME Extremes I wrote about in the previous post because when he is good, he is really fucking good, but when he is bad, he is The Worst™ so can't we just find an in-between?

Don't you go pointing your scrawny finger at my boy like that! You're lucky he even still speaks to you. Shut up, five! A ten is thinking!

Prapai spending all his money on Sky. Prapai deleting all the numbers from his phone. Prapai getting the lapel pin. Prapai cleaning Sky's apartment. Prapai being honest about wanting Sky without being aggressive or crass. *squints so hard my head hurts* This is how Joe must feel with Ming in My Stand-In because I want to trust your ass, but my God, do you make it so fucking hard. I'm begging you to not screw up after this. PLEASE!

I've seen this scene eighty different ways from my dash, but hearing Sky tell Prapai to get bored with him quickly so he can move on while internally begging for Prapai not to get bored knowing what I know about his ex . . . it is salt in the wounds, poison in the wells, and the phone call from within the house. It is painful, deadly, and terrifying.

Prapai listening tentatively as Sky finally tells him what he actually likes to eat. Prapai responding with little tidbits he has learned about Sky along the way. Prapai giving shoulder kisses. Prapai asking about the ex. To quote RuPaul, "don't fuck it up"

Sig is the realest of all these boys, and I would give him the softest ear bites, the best thigh kisses, and the most amazing blowjob because that's what he deserves!

Prapai - Claim me. Own me. Mark me!

Sky - Gross.

While all of Payu's after scenes only made him look worse as he embraced the Manipulate-Mansplain-Malewife way into Rain's heart, all of Prapai's scenes make him seem like the biggest simp, and I am, once again, pleading for balance!

So now on to the next episo - - -

Wait a minute . . . I know this scene

This is where Sky gets in his head and distances himself, so Prapai breaks in and reads the journal. Oh no. Oh no no no.

*lays face first in a field of lavender*

I need liquor, ice, and a blender. They are all needed for different reasons. No, I will not elaborate.

[choco-pudding]

The Vampire Dies in no Time, Chapter 215. Read text from right to left, do not repost.

(Translations by @lavoszero and myself. Edits and typesetting by myself)

Plain text below

Death 215: An Old Blood Gathering in the World of Eternal Night.

p. 39

Somewhere near Shin-Yokohama, Old Blood vampires gather.

Fwoooooo

Icy smile lord, Northdin Has a powerful charm ability that can captivate anyone. Can also manipulate the cold and freeze anything. A formidable old blood vampire.

Tap

p. 40

Northdin: "Good grief, am I the first to arrive? Draus called me over…"

Rise

Necro-Dealer, Elder Said he can easily create and manipulate a near endless army of ghouls. A formidable Old Blood vampire.

Slump

Elder: "Hey, Northdin, how have you been fairing?" Northdin: "! Elder…" Elder: "Have you grown tired of immortality yet? I'll spare no expense on acquiring your corpse if you have. " Northdin: "Quit it, your necromancy jokes are beyond tiresome." Northdin: "And you're having a ghoul act as your proxy, even at one of our gatherings? Lazy shut-in." Elder: "Oh, how rude of me."

p. 41

Snap Split

Elder: "It's simply too much of a hassle to travel on my own… I'll remain in this shell tonight, but know I'm here nonetheless." Ishikana: "Just what are you doing, are you aware of how grotesque that look?" "No matter the circumstance, you guys never change.

Sizzle Burn

The Immortal Flame, Ishikana Controls fire, bane of their kin, with ease. Sets ablaze to combatants and compatriots alike. A formidable Old Blood vampire

Ishikana: Ah, it seem the raven has arrived."

p. 42

Solar Eclipsing Raven, Ventrue Capable of transforming into an ominous six-winged raven. Can outpace the sun. A formidable Old Blood vampire.

Fwoosh

Elder: "Making a flashy entrance as usual I see~. show off." Ventrue: "Hmph, I do as I like. Now, why did Draus summon us to such a seedy place? Northdin: "It's his current fixation" Elder: "You're one to talk, by the way, how's that huntress fairing?" Ventrue: "I have nothing to say about that!" Draus: "Ah, Ventrue, it's been quite some time!"

Lean

Ventrue: "! Draus..."

p. 43

Draus?: "What a wonderful night too, such a beautiful full moon! It's dazzle rivals that of a woman's breasts~!" Ventrue: "Dra-Draus?" Draus: "Who says that!!!?" Dicknea: "Apologies, Apologies, I didn't mean to be rude, just having a bit of gentlemanly fun."

Shifting Shadow: Dick Can Effortlessly transform into all sorts of things, be it beasts, insects, plants, fog, or even the moon. A formidable Old Blood vampire.

[Most likely Draus]: "Is everyone here? I see Yo… That Yellow… he didn't show up."

That Yellow ← (Mr Lewd Talk)

Northdin: "He was invited!? If he shows up, I'll kill him." [Most likely Dicknea]: "I rather enjoy that vampire's company though [Most likely Draus]: …Well then, let's go inside.

And with that, "the Old Blood Meeting" has begun.

p. 44

But it's just a front for idle chit-chatting.

Draus: "Now, let us begin the council of ancient vampires!" Dicknea: "For tonight's topic, I propose "favorite breast shapes."

Conial, hemispherical, triangular.

[Most likely Draus]: "What kind of discussion topic is that!?" Draus: " This is a noble vampire gathering, the topic should mirror our awe!" Ishikana: "And we've had these gatherings for how long now? We've already exhausted all meaningful topics." [Unknown]: "We've mostly been lazing about since peace was achieved." Ishikana: "How about 'recent home appliances purchases." Draus: "That's… not awe inspiring… maybe… is it?" Dicknea: "A while back, I bought some silicone breasts that made for excellent pudding molds." [Most likely Draus]: "I thought I told you to hush!! That's not that even an appliance."

p. 45

Ventrue: "Hmph, centuries passed and you still lack even a shred of decency. As for me, I recently obtained a 'toaster oven.' Bread cooked in it is delicious, fresh or reheated."

Ding!!

[Unknown]: "What are you, an old lady?" [Unknown]: "An old lady with a daily cooking blog?" Ventrue: "I'm answering in accordance to tonight's topic, so don't talk smack!! If you despise it so much, then pick a different topic, Draus! Draus: "Oh, ah, um." Draus: "Fav… 'favorite dog breed." [Unknown]: "What are you, an old dog lady?" [Unknown]: "An old lady that visits a dog park two to three times a week." Draus: "WEH!" Northdin: "How about 'favorite duel against a hunter.' in regards to our conflicts with humans, I’m certain we have no shortage of stories to tell."Draus: "As expected of Northdin!" Elder: "Ah, like that story I heard not too long ago about how lil' Northy here was forced to wear a bikini by the Shin-Yoko hunters before they sent him flying." Northdin: "Octo-headed ghoul, I'll kill you! It was a corset and I was not 'sent flying!" Elder: "Aah, my deepest apologies, Icy Smile Lord." Northdin: "You're awfully chatty for a fossilized shut-in who only recently lost his cherry!" Elder: "There's a video on it floating about in Nūtube's huntersphere, you should subscribe to their channel." Northdin: "Which NūTuber, I’ll cut off their internet connection with a blizzard!"

Absolute ruckus

p. 46

Northdin: " Moreover, how does Elder know about that In the first place, Draus?" Draus: "N-no... comment..." Ishikana: "Anyway, has anyone neared death at the hands of a hunter recently? Or is that a rarity nowadays?" Ishikana: "You guys, have any of you nearly died recently?" Elder: "Oh, I suppose that's one interpretation of awe." Dicknea: "Only about 3.5 time surprisingly." Ventrue: "Just the other day I was nearly hit by an airplane!! The skies are too crowed now!!" [Unknown]: "Just because you can fly so high doesn't mean you should."[Unknown]: "You'd cause a major wreck if you get sucked into the plane's jets." Dicknea: "A few days ago, during a raging rainstorm, I thought I saw an erotic book at sea and nearly went in after it. [Unknown]: "Shut the hell up!" [Unknown]: "Don't die over something so pathetic!" Ishikana: "Sometimes I choke on the tapioca while mindlessly drinking bubble tea. It’s always when I least expect it, too." [Unknown]: "That sounds like an old lady problem." [Most likely Ventrue]: "Those kind of drinks are out of style, granny. Elder: "Speaking of style, I just remembered something." Draus: "Oh?"

p. 47

Elder: A young vampire, rather, my grandson, told me that black cloaks are 'lame' now. Is that true?"

Black cloak Black cloak Black cloak Black cloak Black cloak Black suit

Ventrue: "No, it's not, it just depends on who's wearing It." Northdin:"Hmm, whether or not it's lame all comes down to a vampire's personal taste." Draus: "It's traditional fashion, more people need to understand that."Ishikana: "The black cloak is an iconic symbol of vampirism. Dicknea: "That's just how young people are." Elder: "Well, mine's 'unique' as a robe so it doesn't apply to me regardless." [Unknown]: "Hey, you're the one who started this conversation!"[Unknown]: "That's like comparing an onigiri to a rice ball, there's barely a difference!" Northdin: I wear a long coat, so I suppose that makes me the most stylish one here." [Unknown]: "Sure you are, Mr. long-term middle school syndrome." [Unknown]: "Okay, Mr. Final Fantasy Reject." Northdin: "I'll freeze you all Into popsicles!"

p. 48

Draus: "I bought this trendy vest not long ago." [Unknown]: "How are you this much of an old man!!" [Unknown]: "That's something old men wear right when they hit 70 or 80 years old!" [Unknown]: "What do you need so many pockets for? House keys? Blood Bons?

*^ A sweet similar to bontan rice candies for vampires.

Draus: "Enough, back to formidable topics! More topics that match our vampiric awe!!" Ishikana: "How's this, 'humans have become far too conceited nowadays." [Most likely Draus]: "Yes, a worthy topic for us awe inspiring vampires!! Northdin: "On that note… The night's far too bright in these modern times. To invade our territory with those vulgar lights, it is absurd. It's also inconvenient when hunting prey." Ventrue: "Agreed, even the backlights in blood pack vending machines are obnoxiously bright, it ticks me off. Only us vampires need it, so they should reduce the amount of light it produces."

Shine

[Most likely Draus]: "I-isn't that a little off topic? Elder: "There's someone who always dislikes and leaves rude comments on my videos, I hope someone splits their ass in half and they die!" [Most likely Draus]: "That's completely off!! Go back to being awe inspiring!!" Elder: "Fine, I'll drop the vulgarity. I hope that foolish person dies with their legs split wide open." [Most likely Draus]: "That's still bad! And a bit, you know..."

p. 49

Dicknea: "Is it me or has censorship in erotic manga gotten unnecessarily stricter with each passing year? It's for adults after all" [Unknown]: Is everything you output lewd?"

Topic → Dicknea → Lewd

Dicknea: "Of course not. In fact, I support curating separate spaces, it allows for non-conformity and a more unique erotic world." Draus: "Stop it, I get it!! Let's discuss something cool, now!!!" Elder: "If we were to form a band, what would our band name be?[Unknown]: "What brought this up!?Elder: "Bands are cool, are they not?" Elder: "Draus you can be out lead vocalist. You're such a talented singer after all." Draus: "Huh… Me? Me, as the frontman? truly?" Elder: "For sure." Ishikana: "If Draus is the lead, then we should name it after him. We can be The Dora*mons." [Unknown]: That reference is so outdated, do you even known the interests of today's youth!!!? Ishikana: " I know they read Champion." Ishikana: "At seven we'd have the right amount of members, too…" Draus: "Huh?" Ishikana: "Ah." [Unknown]: "Right, there's only six of us. Since he (Mr. Lewd Talk: Hahaha) isn't here... No it's for the best that he isn't here."

p. 50

[Unknown]: "Yeah, he emits a horrendous air about him just by existing! We would have been stopped at the entrance!!" [Unknown]: "Agreed." [Unknown]: "Not that is matters now." [Unknown]: "Splitting it rounds it up to 18,334 yen per person, right?"[Northdin]: "That seems fair enough." [Unknown]: "Will you hand them back the bill, Northdin?"

Beam

[Northdin]: "Pantsuits have a deep sense of erotism."

."

Mr. Lewd Talk Wielder of a potent hypnosis that forces people to speak the language of lewd talk. A formidable Old Blood vampire.

Death 215: End

----

Translator's notes:

There's a lot this time.

畏怖, translated here mostly as "awe," is awe in the fearful sense.

Page 45 Northdin is literally saying he was forced to wear "bondage." However, in Japanese, "bondage" is more commonly used today in reference to fashion (i.e. clothing made of leather/ rubber) rather than a restraining tool. "Corset" was chosen because it's the closest thing to what he was wearing and let's him keep some dignity.

If you're not in the known, Elder is a NuTuber and I'm 75% sure he's alluding to his own channel.

As a reminder, Ishikana's gender is a self-admitted "secret." They're called both masculine and feminine terms in other chapters, so don't take them being called an "old lady/obachan" here too seriously.

Page 48

Original text is comparing onigiri to omusubi.

Page 49

Draus's name is phonetically "Dorasusu" in Japanese, hence Dora*mon. The Doraemons, a spin off of Doraemon, does in fact have a group of seven Doaemons in it.

[selunesdreams]

Chapter 10: Chosen One

Surprising himself more than anyone, Gale gripped him by the lapels and thrust him against the wall.

���Don’t speak about her that way.” He said through clenched teeth.

“What’s your deal, Dekarios?” He shoved Gale off and smoothed his clothes. “You jealous or something?”

By now, their spat had caught the attention of a few bystanders, and a disapproving look from a professor lingering in their classroom doorway.

“She just deserves better, that’s all. Have some decency.” Gale muttered, and stormed off in the direction of his room.

Summary: A brief glimpse into Gale’s past, he and Florence go on a walk at the Tiefling party, Haarlep strikes again, and Astarion has a Lae’zel problem.

Pairing: Gale x Named Tav/OFC

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, sexual themes relating to incubus, depiction of self harm, trauma.

Read on AO3

Wyll and the others returned to the Grove hours after Gale and Florence’s return, several unfamiliar faces in tow. Towering over everyone was the druid Halsin that Zevlor had mentioned. Thrown begrudgingly over his shoulder was an unconscious drow woman, Minthara, the leader Karlach was meant to dispatch.

“She’s a victim of the Absolute, just as much as us,” Karlach insisted. “She doesn’t deserve to die!”

“I think someone has a crush.” Shadowheart muttered in Florence’s ear.

“Just let it go. We’ve already been through this and she’s made up her mind.” Wyll tied Minthara’s wrists, binding her to a nearby tree. “Maybe we can get information about the cultists from her.”

As the sun set, the camp came alive with merriment and indulgence in a makeshift celebration hosted by the Tieflings. At some point, someone insistently thrust a goblet of wine into Gale’s hands as he dwelled near the edge of the camp, watching the party unfold. His fingertips grazed Mystra’s charm on his left ear absentmindedly, eyes fixed on Florence as she chatted with Karlach and Shadowheart near the fire.

Tadpoles aside, it had been an odd ten-day. Or longer - he’d lost track. Seeing Florence again was strange, but it revived a sense of nostalgia for his old life. Their relationship, if he could even call it that, never amounted to much, no matter how he had felt in his days at the Academy, but she was the last person he’d truly attempted to court before Mystra. The Lady of Mysteries had no interest in Gale’s romantic idealism, only service and reverence. And his talent, of course. Once, he was the best and brightest in any room he entered.

Now, he’d fallen, no longer Mystra’s Chosen, doomed to only be tolerated by his goddess at best, like an ox would tolerate a fly. The magic he once wielded like poetry felt like a foreign language on his tongue most days.

But Florence…time appeared to have been kinder to her.

She was far more independent than he remembered, if not guarded. At Blackstaff, she was exceptionally skilled in alchemy and evocation, but certainly not limited to the other schools of magic. Why she’d left behind her studies at all perplexed him. Perhaps she’d set aside her magical prowess in favor of a quiet life.

Her musical talent hadn’t gone wasted, at least. Gale was just as struck by her performance in that Fest Hall, of all places, as he was at the Academy. At Blackstaff, he would occasionally pause outside the doorway of a lounge where he’d discovered her practicing, his back pressed to the wall, casually pretending to check his pack for something, just for an excuse to linger and listen.

Her beauty hadn’t faded, either. Like a fine wine, the years had treated her features well. Healthier, her complexion had a faint flush to it, and her hair was longer, thicker, shinier. His eyes fell to the slit of her robes, splayed open on the side, exposing the curve of her upper thigh as she crossed her legs on a log, listening attentively to whatever Karlach was saying. The slight pouch of her stomach pressed into the robe’s tight fabric as she leaned forward, and Gale’s fingers ached to move his hands over the skin there, to press his fingertips into her flesh possessively, adoringly…

A rogue thought occurred to him in that moment, a shiver of longing and embarrassment burning through his nerves. But such a thought was fleeting, and he blinked rapidly to dismiss it, shame weighing on his conscience. What was wrong with him? Had the tadpole taken his decency too?

The orb pulsated along his collarbone, as if to admonish him, and he rubbed at it with a grimace, taking another sip of his wine.

Redirecting himself, he recalled the last time he’d seen her, being escorted from Blackstaff, the hollows of her cheeks having him questioning if she had eaten anything in a fortnight. Dark rings encircled her eyes, and her robes hung from her limbs, concealing every inch of her form as she clutched her books to her chest, a phantom of herself. Blackstaff Vajra Safahr, her mentor, followed closely, protectively behind her with the rest of her belongings. Gale’s eyes never left her as she slipped through the grand doors and out of sight.

“Florence Ashveil is leaving?” He asked in a low whisper, catching Pierson Wenzel by the sleeve as he passed by in the hall. He’d waited outside her door in the nights following the ball, cursing himself for ruining his chance with her. Concerned, he’d requested Vajra check on her, but didn’t have the slightest inclination that she was in such a state.

“You didn’t hear? Vajra found her naked, covered in burns, scrubbing her skin raw.”

Gale swallowed. “What happened?”

“Rumor is some kind of post-breakup meltdown. Estee said she heard moaning from her room a few weeks ago, and then it just stopped. Never saw the bloke - or lady - coming or going, but you know Ashveil, no surprise she gets around. Bummer she went mad. Shame I didn’t have time to give her a go-”

Surprising himself more than anyone, Gale gripped Pierson by the lapels and thrust him against the wall.

“Don’t speak about her that way.” He said through clenched teeth.

“What’s your deal, Dekarios?” Pierson shoved Gale off and smoothed his clothes. “You jealous or something?”

By now, their spat had caught the attention of a few bystanders, and a disapproving look from a professor lingering in their classroom doorway.

“She just deserves better, that’s all. Have some decency.” Gale muttered, and stormed off in the direction of his room.

When he returned, his door was ajar, the dress coat he’d left with Florence during the ball neatly folded on his bed. Gale picked it up, expecting to find a letter, a scrawled note, anything, but no scrap of paper or parchment came loose. He sniffed and wiped his nose, rummaging in the pockets before tossing it aside and collapsing on his mattress, defeated.

That night, when Mystra called on him, his heart didn’t hesitate to let her in, and as his reward, she showed him the secrets of the weave, the untold wonders beneath its surface.

“Chosen one.” She whispered and bared herself to him.

He left Blackstaff the next day.

⋅ . ⋆─⋅ . ⋆─⋅ . ⋆─⋆ . ⋅─ ✩ ─⋆ . ⋅─⋆ . ⋅─⋆ . ⋅─⋆ . ⋅

Florence watched as Gale stared off into the distance, seemingly lost in thought. His gaze drifted in her direction, and when they locked eyes, his expression darkened. Rolan approached him, drawing away his attention as he halfheartedly listened to the tiefling, eyes periodically returning to her with an undeniable gleam of interest.

“If you’re trying to be discreet, you’re doing a poor job.” Shadowheart said to Florence as she and Karlach bracketed her on a log. “You and Gale looked…cozy when he brought you back to camp this afternoon.”

Florence sat up straight. “I was injured! What was he supposed to do, dump me in my tent and wish me luck?”

“I mean, he didn’t have to hover so much while I healed you. Either he finds my methods insufficient, or he was deeply worried about you.”

“He’s a good egg,” Karlach interjected. “A little scholarly for my tastes, but I’m sure you could crack his spine like a book.”

“And what is your type, Karlach?” Florence asked, nodding towards where Minthara was tied against the tree where Wyll left her, spotting a nasty wound to the side of her head. Her gaze swept over the celebration, a scowl fitted on her features. “Homicidal drow women with shaky morals?”

“Don’t mind our friend here. She’s just bitter Orb Boy hasn’t made a move yet.” The rim of Shadowheart’s wine bottle clinked against Florence’s empty cup as she filled it to the brim.

“There, some liquid courage.” She said and nodded towards Gale. He was still stuck beside Rolan, somehow the least verbose person in conversation.

“This is all you, king, I don’t think our guy’s the first move type-” Karlach shoved Florence to her feet and propelled her forward with the heel of her boot, the mud she left behind on Florence’s robes making her wish she’d just used her hands and burned her instead, “Talk to him. If I can’t get any action, at least one of us should.”

“I don’t want-“ Florence began, looking back as she stumbled forward, only to be intercepted by Astarion.

“You know, I never thought of myself as a hero.” He snatched her wine from her hand as his eyes scanned the party. He took a swig and grimaced.

“It’s awful. I hate it.”

“My wine? Or being a hero?”

“Both, darling. But enough about me, you and Gale seem to be getting on quite well again.” He swirled the goblet, watching the fluid swish around. “I wonder if he uses magic in the bedroom. That could go very well, or very badly…”

“Is there something you wanted, Astarion?” Florence asked.

“Gods below, you’re a drip. Go on, I’ll make my own fun.” he promptly handed back her goblet without looking at her and wandered off.

Florence watched him go, perplexed, before she turned back to Gale. He was standing alone, goblet in hand, Rolan having finally departed to harass someone else. As Florence approached, he sipped his wine and straightened his posture.

“Good evening.” He offered a tentative smile. “I hope you’re finding…all this,” he motioned around, “enjoyable?”

“It’s…adequate.” she said, sipping her wine and looking at him from under the rim of her cup.

“Well, aren’t you hard to please?” his smile faltered, and he cleared his throat. “You just missed Rolan. He just couldn’t say enough about his apprenticeship with Lorroakan in Baldur’s Gate.”

“Lorroakan?” Florence raised an eyebrow. “I’ve heard that guy’s an ass.”

“Our tiefling friend will assuredly have his work cut out for him. You know, I think he’d have fared alright at Blackstaff, might have dropped out by the second semester but-”

Gale stopped himself as Florence pursed her lips, swallowing her wine.

“Apologies.” his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, “I didn’t mean-”

She shook her head. “It’s fine, really.”

Gale nodded and looked down at his boots with a wince and a bitter laugh. “Right. Well, If I haven’t shoved my foot too far down my own throat, could I persuade you to take a little walk with me?”

She gave him a tight-lipped smile and nodded, setting her goblet aside.

“Of course.”

They moved along the edge of camp towards the river, Gale’s hands shoved in his robe pockets as he stared ahead, intermittently stealing a glance at Florence from the corner of his eye. The moon, low in the sky, painted the water’s surface with a mesmerizing silver sheen.

A light mist drafted through the nearby woods, and the evening air seeped through the layers of Florence’s clothes. The air was thick with smoke and sulfur, the flames of the bonfire at the center of camp licking at the starry sky over the peaks of their companions’ tents. Chatter and the sounds of Alfira’s lute became quieter as they walked in silence.

“It’s beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” He asked.

Florence wrapped her arms around herself, cursing herself for forgoing trousers underneath.

“It is.”

As they came to a bend in the river, Gale removed his outer robe, draping it carefully around her shoulders. Underneath, he wore a pair of tight black trousers and a plain white shirt, the laces loosely done, revealing the orb’s mark peeking on his collar.

Florence’s gaze lingered for a moment before her eyes lifted to meet his.

“Thank you.” She mumbled, mind briefly flashing to the night of the Blackstaff ball. “For saving me today.”

As Gale’s smile faded, and he absentmindedly reached for the back of his neck.

“That Goblin Priestess had an unfair advantage.” he said. “Were you not restrained, I doubt you would have required any saving at all.” He leaned against a tree, and Florence joined him with a doubtful scoff, resting her back against the trunk with enough space to separate them.

“You think too highly of me.”

Gale leaned into her with a lopsided grin. “I think just highly enough.”

She nudged him with her elbow, leaning her head back against the bark of the tree and looking up at the sky.

“What a mess we’ve found ourselves in, Gale Dekarios.”

He huffed and mirrored her movements, their shoulders touching as they stood in the remote quiet. A toad croaked in the distance, and a stray firefly blinked along the river’s edge.

“What a mess, indeed.”

“When did you stop using your surname, by the way?” Florence turned her head to assess him. “You’ve been parading yourself about camp as Gale of Waterdeep for days now.”

“Well, Gale Dekarios cuts a poor figure next to the wizarding prowess of Gale of Waterdeep.”

“I don’t know…I always liked Gale Dekarios.”

A flicker of doubt crossed his features, tugging at his smile.

“Gale Dekarios liked you too. Still does. Very, very much.” the playfulness of his tone became softer, his voice growing rough. “Though, let’s keep his existence between us for now, if you don’t mind.”

Florence nodded and stared up at the stars.

“Do you, ah-“ Gale rubbed the sole of his boot in the sand, arms pinned behind his back. “Or rather, I thought we…”

As he searched for words, a phantom touch brushed over Florence’s midriff. Her body arched forward, and she gasped as her core flooded with desire.

No, no. Not now…

Gale shifted forward, his forehead wrinkling. “Are you alright?”

“Too much wine,” she blurted with a forced laugh. “You should get back to camp before the others get worried. Go on, I’ll be right behind you. I just…need a moment.”

He frowned, his eyes sweeping over her form.

“Are you sure? Perhaps I can fetch you some water-”

“I’m certain. Please, go on, Gale. don’t make a girl retch in front of you, it’s unbecoming.” She said with a contrived smile, waving him on as she doubled over.

He opened his mouth to protest, but relented with a sigh, placing his hand on her shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze before he departed. Florence shuddered at his touch, the incubus’ influence causing her stomach to flip at the contact. As soon as Gale was out of sight, she fell to her knees and let out a strangled gasp, her arms wrapping around her midsection as her head hung low between her knees.

Florence leapt over the brush and into the woods, racing towards nowhere in particular. Sweat beaded on her brow, dripping from her neck beneath her collar and down the valley of her breasts. With unsteady steps, she ran over roots and underbrush until her lungs burned and her legs ached, before she slammed into something solid and stumbled back.

“Well, well…a damsel in distress?”

Astarion.

“What are you doing here?”

The vampire regarded her with an amused smirk. “I could ask the same of you. Not that I don’t mind playing the gentleman, but might I ask what you’re doing running through the woods at night? You smell like fear and arousal…” he leaned in close enough that she could see the white of his fangs glint in the light.

“I like it.”

Florence reared back, tripping and falling on her ass in the mud.

“I was on a walk with Gale, okay?” she pulled her hands out of the muck and picked loose leaves and twigs from her robes. “I can’t go back to camp- the incubus is using my body again and I can’t have anyone seeing me like this.”

“And I thought sleeping with Lae’zel would be volatile.”

Astarion crouched down to her level with a feigned pitying sigh, resting his arms on his knees. He tilted his head, taking in the sight of her.

“Well, get cozy. I suppose we’ll wait it out here.”

He let out a resigned sigh and stood, leaning on one shoulder against a nearby tree, his eyes flicking between her and the distant glow of camp.

“What do you think brought this round on?”

“I smelled sulfur earlier.” She felt sick. “I chalked it up to the fire, but Raphael must be keeping tabs on us…mmmhgh..”

She steadied herself as another wave of pleasure hit her. When it passed, she braced her palms on her thighs as she caught her breath.

“What was that you said about sex with Lae’zel?” she asked, lifting her head.

“Jealous?” Astarion asked coyly.

“Try surprised. I thought sex repulsed you?”

He chuckled, leaning his head back and crossing his arms, thrumming his fingers on his bicep.

“I am. I’m out here because I’m avoiding her. She’s hells-bent on sleeping with me, but luckily, you’ll monopolize my time for now.”

“Why not just tell her no?”

He paused, fingers freezing their tapping. “I don’t know how.”

He pushed off the tree he was leaning on and stood over Florence. The incubus had gone silent. Now it was her mind’s turn to torment her. How many times would she scrub her skin tonight? What would make her feel clean enough to forget?

“Get up. We’re going back to camp.” Astarion seized her by the wrist, dragging her to her feet and through the brush. She stumbled after him, dazed.

Once in the clearing, the sound of voices grew loud again. The sudden light blinded her, and she threw an arm in front of her eyes, shielding them.

“There. Safe and sound.” Astarion said, releasing her wrist. “Do try to keep it together. Your wizard is watching.” His expression was indiscernible as he nodded toward camp, the shadows from the trees obscuring him in the dim light.

She glanced back towards the fire where Gale stood, pausing his conversation with Zevlor. His eyes drifted to the dirt on her hands and knees, the tangle of leaves in her hair, her flushed cheeks, before darting to Astarion’s figure as it vanished into the dark woods, leaving her alone at the treeline. He straightened, his jaw flexing as he approached.

“Gale, sorry, I just needed a moment back there-“

“With Astarion?” his eyes flicked towards the woods.

“No, he was-“

“You don’t need to explain yourself.” He interrupted, looking down at her. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright, that’s all.”

“Gale, it’s not-“

“Excuse me,” He said hastily. “I think I’ve had a bit too much wine this evening as well.”

He nodded stiffly and stepped away, clasping his hands behind his back.

“I’m going to head to bed. I suggest you do the same. Providing you don’t have other…business to attend to.” He gave a curt bow. “Goodnight.”

He turned on his heel before she could respond, and with stiff strides, he walked towards his tent, his shoulders tense under his shirt.

She watched as he departed, eyes stinging with hurt and shame. Haarlep had ruined everything.

She had ruined everything.

Again.

[stardewstardropthoughts]

Ilysm but unfortunately I have some angst, sorryyyyy. Would you do how the Bachelors would react to the farmer maybe ghosting them? It could have a happy ending, though. (I live to torture myself with angst 😳) Tyyyy

I love you too which is why I apologize in advance for this lmao cause it’s all hurt no comfort I’m sorry! I love angst so much, maybe I’ll do another version when I have more energy with a happy ending!

You ghost the bachelors

Elliott:

He doesn’t have many people who support him to begin with, so when you came around and spent so much time with him? He was thrilled

He often awaited for when you would step into his beach house for your daily visit, often carrying little gifts for him, once a bouquet

But now, he holds the wilted bouquet you had asked Leah to give to him for you, a note attached that simply says who it’s from. No reason attached

His heart is breaking as he closes his front door, an apologetic look from Leah the last thing he sees before he’s on the floor, back to the door sobbing into his hands

He had loved you so much, with such a raging passion and zero regard for anyone else, why had you suddenly decided he wasn’t enough?

Why didn’t you come and explain your reasonings yourself instead of sending someone else in your place?

He tried to find you, to talk to you but it was as if you were avoiding his every attempt, turning around and leaving if you saw him at the saloon, avoiding the beach unless absolutely necessary to see willy

He couldn’t fathom what he had done so wrong for you to treat him this way, needles to say he isn’t going to be jumping headfirst into any relationship any time soon

Shane:

How could you do this to my man, my love, my sweet sad chicken man?

He always thought it was to good to be true, that someone as beautiful and vibrant as you would waltz into his life and make his days infinitely better even when he tried to push you away in the beginning

You stayed by his side on some of his darkest days, he could hardly believe when you gave him a bouquet

Now it’s like the world is crashing down around him, the withered bouquet in his hands, you had taped it to his door, not even facing him in person to deliver the blow

He tried to convince himself that it wasn’t really happening, that you wouldn’t just ghost him like this

But then you were avoiding him around town, no longer stopping on his way to work to chat

You wouldn’t answer the door when he would go to the farm to see you, wouldn’t visit marnies shop if you knew he would be home

He had a mermaid pendent in his bedside drawer that he had intended on giving to you on your three year anniversary which had been just a few days later

Spends a lot of his nights sobbing in bed because you broke his heart

Good luck to anyone else who tries to build a relationship with him because now he’s more guarded then before

His days were finally full of color and laughter when you were around, but now it’s a dark grey sea and he feels like he’s drowning all over again

Alex:

He had been out talking to rusty when you had snuck into his house and left the wilted bouquet on his bed, a note attached that said who it was from

Found the wilted bouquet when he had gone in to get some lifting done for the day, he’s never experienced a panic attack prior but he certainly is now

The note has no explanation as to why you’ve decided to tear his heart to shreds like this, and not even with the decency to do it face to face

Goes straight to the farm to ask why you’ve done this, but you aren’t there. Robin who was building you a coop at the time said you were in the mines, but Alex can see the lights on in the farmhouse

You don’t answer the door when he knocks, he scribbles a little note down and slips it under the door, asking what he did and if he can fix it

He never gets an answer, spends the rest of his night to sad in bed to even think about weight lifting

Once again throws all his focus into becoming a professional gridby player, no time for friends or relationships, he needs the distraction so he doesn’t just sit around and cry about you all day

You were the first person he ever thought he could love romantically, after watching his parent’s relationship fall apart he hadn’t believed in love but you changed that

And now he doesn’t believe again

Sam:

Mans a whole golden retriever energy baby why would you do this

Everything was going great in the relationship with you, or so he thought

Because if it was actually going as well as he had thought, he wouldn’t be looking at the wilted bouquet sitting atop his guitar with nothing but your name scribbled on this little note

His eyes are filling with tears immediately, trying to think of anything he might have said or done to upset you recently

Trying to think about why you hadn’t done this in person, why hadn’t you given a reason

Writes you a letter asking why and what was happening, why hadn’t you said something sooner if you were unhappy

You never respond, it seems as if you’ve made yourself disappear all together to him

Your never home when he try’s to visit, you don’t go to the saloon on Friday nights anymore, his friends don’t know what happened either because you don’t talk about him to them

He’s so sad and he doesn’t know what he’s done, he just wanted to be the best he could be for you but now he can’t even do that

Sebastian:

He found the wilted bouquet on his motorcycle one evening when he was going to go for a drive to the cliffs that overlook zuzu city

He had wanted to bring you with him but from what he’s gathered from the evidence in front of him, your not going to be going

He doesn’t really blame you, he knows he’s probably not the best you can do but that doesn’t make it sting any less

Rides out to the cliffs where he can have a nice little breakdown in private

He does want answers though, so he spends almost two weeks trying to track you down, to no avail

It’s almost like your avoiding him on purpose, you never visit robins shop if you know he’s home, don’t visit sams when you know they have practice, you avoid him at all the festivals

He’s hurt, it took a lot of convincing for him to open up to you and now you’ve gone and closed yourself off from him

Lays awake a lot contemplating what could have gone wrong, but he never does get an answer about it

Harvey:

Man, stepping out of his office for a quick breather and having Maru hand him a box addressed from you was a surprise

You don’t often leave packages for him, he takes it back with him and is shocked and saddened to see it’s a wilted bouquet with no explanation as to why you’ve decided to do this

Underneath it is all the little gifts he’s given you over the course of your relationship together

His hands are shaking as he sets it down, he doesn’t understand what’s gone wrong

Closes his office for the rest of the day and sulks in his apartment, tries to call you but you don’t answer

You avoid your annual check up that you had scheduled for a few days later, calling Maru and telling her you’d be in grumpleton then so you’d just have the check up there

He can never seen to catch you when your out and about either to try and get an answer as to why you’ve broken his heart with such little regard for his feelings

He’s had a hard time opening up to people and small talk makes him quite nervous so it had taken so long to break down his walls and then you’ve just abandoned him?

He spends weeks trying to pick apart every interaction you’ve had, trying to figure out where it could have gone wrong, what he could have done to prevent this outcome

In the end he’s left with no answers and a hold in his heart where his love for you use to consume and keep him warm

[peaches2217]

if you're interested in talking more about it, I'd love to hear more headcannons/musings about mareach expecting/being parents!! everything you've posted has been extremely precious and adorable

I’m in the midst of formulating some second-time parent scenarios, so do look forward to that! But until I’m ready to bite the bullet, fight past my shame, and post those, have some more first-time parent floof: The Big Day edition~

✨ The closer and closer Peach gets to her due date, the less and less Mario sleeps, to the point where in the final week or two before their baby arrives he’s getting maybe thirty minutes to an hour of rest each night, and rarely all at once. Eventually Peach gives up on trying to talk him down herself and gets a bunch of their friends involved in an elaborate plot just so he can get some sleep (which I’ve discussed here 😌). The plot works, and he sleeps for like a solid twenty-six hours! And it ends up being very good timing, because she goes into labor the following day.

✨ Mario’s overseeing preparations for some upcoming festivity (Toads have at least one major holiday each month — party people, they are) when he catches sight of Toadette approaching him. And his stomach lurches into his throat before he can even see her face or she can even get close enough to say anything, because he knows. As her lady-in-waiting and one of her closest friends, Toadette hasn’t left Peach’s side in the past few weeks unless Mario’s been there, and why else would she do so now unless something major was happening? What ensues is exactly the sort of spectacle Toadette had been hoping to avoid: Mario barreling through the crowd, sending Toads flying like bowling pins, abandoning all decency and rationale in a bid to get to Peach as quickly as possible.

✨ As soon as he reaches her, he’s showering her in kisses and inquiring about her mental state and her pain levels and telling her that he loves her so much and he’s going to be right here with her no matter what. Considering she’s been in labor for an hour tops, Peach isn’t even too uncomfortable yet; honestly she’s a lot more collected than her husband at that moment. So she giggles and lets him get it out of his system because she’ll never turn down an opportunity to be lavished in love. Stars know she’ll need that support soon enough.

✨ “Your hero just about caused a national panic,” Toadette snarls twenty minutes later, returning to Peach’s room after joining forces with Toadsworth to calm the understandably alarmed crowds. Peach finds it significantly more amusing than she does.

✨ Daisy’s already there because she was part of Operation: Go the Fuck to Sleep, Mario (“We’re not calling it that,” Peach said. “I’m calling it that,” Daisy said back.), so she insists she may as well make herself useful — Peach could benefit from having a backup buddy in the room in the off-chance Mario completely flips out. And also she wants the bragging rights of being the first of this baby’s many aunts and uncles to meet them, because that’s something she can hold over everyone’s heads for like, ever.

✨ Little-known fact about Peach: she’s got a low pain threshold, and the longer it’s crossed, the more rapidly she loses any semblance of composure. She goes from chatting normally with everyone in the room to seeking out Mario's hand with every contraction to clinging to him like a koala and shaking and moaning in agony, all in the span of like thirty minutes. I can't over-emphasize how dramatic she gets. Which, yes, it's justified, because childbirth's near-universally considered the most painful mammalian experience, but dear God, it's almost comical how quickly she loses her cool.

✨ Mario, of course, doesn't find it comical in the slightest. Seeing her like this is heartbreaking and mentally exhausting. There's not really anything he can do to ease her suffering, and that kills him, but he can't let himself dwell on it because she needs him, and he's gotta be strong for her. So he holds her close and does his best to make her laugh or at least take her mind off of it.

✨ Once that stops working, he starts singing to her, quietly, stroking her hair and pressing little kisses to her cheeks. And that works wonders! Until he starts humming one song in particular. Peach recognizes it as a favorite of his; he sang it to her while she was curled up on the bathroom floor months ago, unknowingly suffering her first bout of morning sickness. It seems like so long ago, and they've come so far, and now here they are — the sentimentality paired with an intense contraction makes her burst into tears. Mario may as well have just been shot. Actually that would probably hurt less.

✨ Daisy tries getting him to take a break, maybe step outside and get some fresh air, because she's never seen him look so distressed and it's honestly starting to worry her. So she makes the suggestion, and she hasn’t seen him look so offended since she desecrated his mother’s sacred Pizza Margherita recipe with thick slices of pineapple. Being at Peach's side is about the only thing he can do for her right now. Leaving her, even for a fraction of a second, would be unforgivable. “Okay,” Daisy relents, “just keep torturing yourself, dude.” He's keeping Peach calm for now, but if that changes, she figures she can just drag him outside herself.

✨ Luckily it never comes to that. As Peach becomes less and less consolable, Mario gets more and more focused... to the point where he gets outright bossy for her sake. He pretty much takes over half of the nurses' jobs, ordering anyone and everyone to get her a glass of water, get him a cold rag so he can wipe away her sweat and cool her off, get her some more pillows so there's less pressure on her back and the base of her spine. Hey, makes their jobs easier.

✨ "You're a badass, Peach Pit!" Daisy says at one point very near the end of the ordeal. "She's right you know," Mario tells Peach. It gets a laugh out of her for the first time in several hours. They absolutely high-five in victory.

✨ Peach immediately goes from inconsolable to overjoyed once their baby's in her arms. "It's okay," she shushes, kissing her still-crying daughter's dark hair, "it's okay, mommy's here. I love you so much." In contrast, Mario completely freezes up. It still hasn't processed yet, the fact that this is their little girl, the same one he's talked and sang and read to for the past several months. In his mind, she's still just a faceless entity, an almost metaphorical representation of his and Peach's love and their hopes for the future, except she's real, and she's always been real, and now she's here, and — and that's a lot to process when you've had one solid night's sleep in the past month.

✨ It doesn't really sink in until a bit later, when Daisy's helping Peach shower and get into fresh clothes and Mario's holding the baby, all swaddled in blankets after passing her health check with flying colors. She looks a lot like him, from her dark hair to the shape of her jaw — she may as well be Mario with a smaller nose — but it's not until she blinks sleepily up at him that it finally hits him. Those are Peach's eyes looking back at him. "Oh," he says, calmly, and then he's crying so hard he can hardly breathe.

✨ That's how Peach finds him when Daisy helps her back into the room: kissing and snuggling their daughter with a big smile and fat tears rolling down his face, babbling "Ti voglio bene! Papà ti vuole tanto bene!" to her softly. She thought she already loved him as much as one person can love another, yet here she is, falling even harder.

✨ As soon as Peach is settled in bed, Daisy rushes to find all of their loved ones so she can gather them up and give them the big news: "I'm already her favorite aunt! So suck it!" (That is, in fact, how everyone finds out it's a girl.)

✨ Peach and Mario are given some privacy to bond with their baby girl and decide whether they want any visitors or whether it would be best to let Peach rest; she holds her new daughter close, and he in turn holds her, full of reverence and praises. Peach has never been so sore and exhausted, yet she's never felt so peaceful. Everything is perfect in her world.

✨ Well, almost everything. "I want to see Toadsworth," she requests, her voice so hoarse from all the bawling and screaming that even those few words make her throat burn. But Mario kisses her gently, lingering for a moment before calling a nurse over to pass on her request, and she relaxes further into his hold with a dreamy sigh. Her husband is with her, their daughter is asleep in her arms, and her father will be here any moment to meet his granddaughter. Now everything is perfect.

[mysticmindsartisticlives]

19 Days: Chapter 423

I feel like this chapter followed the slice-of-life theme from that official beach art. It was so fun and yet had SO many interactions happening at once! We'll start with Momo's invitation:

The elypses in his speech and the absence of any eye contact expressed Mo's uncertainty in his own suggestion. He was likely embarrassed and a little shy to present his vulnerable desire for companionship so plainly in front of his friends.

By their looks of astonishment, JianTianXi were caught way off guard lol Zheng Xi has the decency to call his mama and give her the 411 on his evening plans, while Tian and Yi immediately jump into nuisance mode.

Just look at the annoyed expression He Tian dons during this entire exchange. He really thought they’d continue where they left off that one night he gifted Lil Mo the earrings. Boy had some dirty deeds in mind, ya hear?

They head to the market for some fresh ingredients, and in true fashion, Jian Yi embraces gold-digging 101. Thankfully, Xixi scolds him - probably because he knows they can't just throw everything on He Tian's tab now. I love how Xixi keeps Yi in check. Sometimes, I feel that he just loves to see his big baby pout for him.

Meanwhile, we've got lost puppy Tian about to get sweet-talked into spending his rent money on a whole fish. Guan Shan can't take his eye off this one for a second.

They finally get their groceries and are heading back to the crib, when titties enter the chat. I mean...

Gah!! Damn!!! Daddy! 🥵 I'm with Mo on this one

I 100% believe Momo was still squinting at them milkshakes lol

Qiu titties aside, I was not expecting Papa Qiu in this chapter 🤗 Look how happy he made the babes! My heart is so full after this chapter 🥰🥰🥰

[inkymoonbunny]

OC Ask Game

Tagged by @roguishcat 💕❤️ thanks for thinking of me🥰

Answering questions for Flare(Tav) from Branded Blood.

What is their most precious childhood memory?

Flare doesn't remember much of her childhood before she was taken from her family. The only specific memory she has is playing in a sunny garden while her aunts kept an eye on her. She can't remember the women's faces but there were three chatting amongst each other and she knew she loved them.

What do they love most about their partner?

Astarion rescued her and found her a teacher to learn magic, so she feels indebted to him. She appreciates that he encourages her autonomy and helps her adjust to her newfound freedom. Kindness and decency aside, she loves his silly antics. She wouldn't tell him this, but he reminds her of one her favorite mouse friends that actively wrecked havoc in Gregore's mansion.

Are they a dog or a cat person? (or perhaps a tressym person?)

Flare hasn't been around many animals other than mice or birds. Recently she's befriended a fluffy white bat so she'd consider herself a bat person...

No pressure tags: @pinkberrytea @justabiteofspite @khywren @dabbles-in-drabbles @ladyduellist @kalmiaphlox @preciouslittlebhaalbae @bhaalsdeepbat @xxnashiraxx @half-poison-and-half-hope

My questions for your OC: (answer whichever/as many as you like!)

Where is your OC from?

Do they have a partner(s)/how did they meet?

What song represents them best?

If they could wildshape as anything, what would they be?

They've been left in charge of camp dinner tonight, what are they making?

[disaster-biraven]

The Lazarus Problem Chapter 2

Jasonette Ch1 Ch2(you are here) Ch3 Ch4 ~ Masterlist

Ao3 Dedicated to @girl-in-thechair

Ever since the world had witnessed the final battle between Hawkmoth and the Parisian heroes, Wonderwomen had been adamant that they needed to find and recruit Ladybug and Chat Noir. She had even made a presentation on what the miraculous was and why having them on the side of the Justice League was a need and not a want. So Batman had been tasked with finding them, and although he is the best detective, there had been no lead. Their magic did an amazing job of concealing any leads, and he was certain Ladybug had left Paris. Hippolyta, a former Ladybug holder had said it was likely the heroes moved on to the next big unbalance, but mentioned there was a chance they had retired the miraculouses.

Now there was an unknown Meta in Gotham, and the only thing that is known about her is her ability to turn invisible. After everyone had finished up at the docks, an irate Red Hood had debriefed the family on the unknown girl. Batman decided to delegate the task of finding her to Red Hood and Red Robin, as he thought he found a lead on who Chat Noir was. This led to a sleep-deprived Tim staring blankly at a file, while Jason used Barbara’s surveillance system to see if he could figure out any leads on the Meta’s location or identity. Tim closed the file and turned to Jason.

“Hey, did you check the list of people who recently moved here? There’s a chance she’s from somewhere else.” He sipped out of his coffee cup which came from seemingly nowhere. Jason didn’t question it, and the idea had more merit than staring at video footage.

“Ok, I’ll start at three weeks and go up from there,” Tim replaced his empty mug with another one. “Tim, what the hell.”

“If you tell Alfred, I’ll mention why you hung up all that artwork in your room.” Jason thought about all those bullet holes he hadn’t gotten around to fixing yet. “Deal. Asshole.”

The list of people finally loaded, and he started to rule out suspects based on height and other factors. While skimming the names and pictures, he felt the blood drain from his face. Tim noticed and shook his shoulder. His partner in crime from his time on the streets was staring back at him. Marinette, who for the last decade he thought was dead, had moved back to Gotham. A search revealed that soon after he had been taken in by Bruce, she had been adopted by a couple in France.

“Do you know her? She was a street kid from Gotham.” Tim still looked a little concerned but didn’t hold back from questioning Jason.

“Tim, not every street kid knew each other. But yeah, we were close. I thought she was dead, I never thought to look her up though.” Did she think he died too? Technically he did. Maybe she looked him up and found his obituary.

“She lived in France, maybe she could help in the Ladybug and Chat Noir case. Everyone but her and some guy got akumatized in her class.” Tim started looking closer at how she was related to past akumas while Jason was spiraling on how to reconnect with her. ~~

Marinette works at a fabric store part-time, and Jason wants nothing more than to run into her. But he has to case to solve and needs to focus. Tim has the decency to not mention her again, keeping the conversation from the others. But Jason knows Tim thinks he should go see her.

On top of continuous surveillance around the city, and going through a list of suspects, there isn’t much more to do than keep an eye peeled during patrol. The lack of any leads drives Jason insane, but it still seemed to go better than Batman’s investigation. The trail had gone cold on the possibility of finding Chat Noir’s identity, the magic was stronger than ever. Dick claims he once walked in on Bruce banging his head against the desk and slowly backed out of there.

Jason caught a break in the form of a brief sighting near the Wayne Tower and changed his patrol to overlap with that area. Tim wasn’t able to join him as he was still on bed rest from a surprise attack from Damian over the last slice of pie.

“Congratulations, Demon Spawn you just volunteered yourself as my patrol partner, seeing as you took out my first one.” Jason ignored his protests and finished suiting up. ~~

Shit shit shit. The Meta dodged his fist and kicked him in the face. Fuck.

“What is your motive here in Gotham, Villain?”

Robin’s question caused her to pause. She hesitantly put up her weapon? Flute?

“I am here in Gotham to help restore the balance, but if I say how you may not believe me.”

“Try me.” Jason really hoped her way of restoring the balance wasn’t to blow something up.

“I know both of you have been in the Lazarus pits. And I can help.”

Robin’s face twisted as he lunged toward, almost stabbing the Fox Meta.

“Were you sent by my mother? Who are you? Stop moving away from my sword!”

“Okay, Robin that’s enough. Let’s hear her out before we try and impale her.”

She seemed to appreciate that. ~~

Jason relayed what the Meta he now knew as Lyca told him to Tim. They were all hesitant to believe her, as she could have ulterior motives. She agreed to meet them in a few days with Batman so he could get a feel for the mysterious girl. Jason didn’t want to get his hopes up on the possibility of actually having a cure for the pit madness. If he were to reconnect with Marinette, it would be better if he wasn’t affected. She didn’t deserve to have to deal with his anger, especially since he looked into what she had to deal with in Paris. After dealing with an emotional terrorist she shouldn’t have to deal with an unbalanced vigilante. He’d have to get the nerve to go see her anyway, which looked unlikely. He hated feeling like a coward.

[opinated-user]

To some of who may doubt about the accounts. Think about this. Which is easier to explain.

Of all those 2000+ images over a five year period. Some elaborate troll just, at best, 40-50 images a day picking the worst artists and pics imaginable. With just the right material, it looks convincing enough to be Lily. All while waiting for the account to be discovered. Sure that sounds like a plan, but then why have no activity and then the activity resumes?

Or…

Lily doing what lily does. Uses names/aliases that fall into her pattern makes an account and slowly fills it with stuff she gets off on. And like a republic with their porn, denies any of the sexual material that is in it. Wait for the chatter to die down and finally when it’s safe go back and get her rocks off again. And to make matters very interesting it’s filled with stuff she so vocally against. Anime characters from Dragon Maid, incest, Nazis. Gee it’s almost like Lily is doing all that screaming so that it covers up what she’s really into

i still have yet to see a single reason as to why those accounts couldn't be LO. i heard some "i don't know if those are hers", but i haven't even found one person who was able to argue why it couldn't be? it's because it's disgusting? all the tara chat logs are disgusting. all of stockholm was disgusting. everything she writes is gross and makes me feel ill the more i think about it. violate is the most egregious example of that and that turned out to be LO taking the trauma of Courtney to make it into her own. why do we keep acting as if LO has any limits? any moral? any decency left? why do we keep assuming that she'd be a good enough person to not enjoy that content, when everything she has done show that she's not like that?

[redux-iterum]

Burning Hearts: Chapter Fifteen

(AO3 counterpart here.)

Greystripe and Ravenwing did not speak to each other for the next several days. Fireheart had to juggle his interactions with them, keeping Ravenwing company for half the night and then chatting with awkward, unstable cheeriness with Greystripe when he returned home. Fireheart worked valiantly under the (perhaps not entirely unfounded) paranoid worry that every single eye in ThunderClan was on him and his friends, watching with curiosity as Greystripe and Ravenwing gave each other a wide berth and slept on opposite ends of the warriors’ den. No one said anything, but their puzzlement was palpable.

It got to the point that one night, Bluestar called Fireheart into her den to speak privately. When they were alone, she said, “Your friends are troubled by something, it’s very obvious. What happened between them?”

Fireheart fought not to squirm as he tried to find a way to not rat Greystripe out while telling the truth. “Well, um, they had a big argument over… over RiverClan.”

Bluestar blinked, then narrowed her thoughtful eyes. “Ravenwing doesn’t agree with sending them prey, I assume.”

“He doesn’t.” Fireheart sighed and bowed his head. “The fight got really personal, so they’re just not talking.”

Bluestar’s voice, unusually gentle, made him look up again. “I know this is upsetting for you. Don’t blame yourself for it, and don’t try to fix it for them. They can talk when they’re ready. If it gets worse, I will speak to them. Don’t make this your task, no matter how close you are with them.”

Fireheart nodded as his mentor’s words pulled a bit of a stony weight off his back. He took a moment to properly absorb them, keep them in the back of his mind to remind him where his position was in this painful situation. He privately pleaded to StarClan for it to resolve itself before Bluestar stepped in.

It didn’t quite improve as the month went on. Greystripe at least had the decency to look guilty when Ravenwing hurried past him or avoided eye contact, but he made no effort to apologize or even greet him with a single word. Ravenwing’s anxiety kept him from saying anything himself. Fireheart supposed he ought to say something, but…

“Fireheart?”

He looked to his left as he stepped out of camp to see an uncharacteristically nervous Greystripe trotting towards him.

“Hey, there you are,” Greystripe said hurriedly, his attempt to sound casual as sturdy as a dead leaf. “I was going to ask, uh– do you want to hunt? Just ThunderClan prey tonight, RiverClan’s doing fine.”

Fireheart swiveled an ear to make sure they were alone before leaning his head forward and whispering, “Silverstream’s busy, isn’t she?”

“Wh– no, no—” Greystripe stood straight with a violent jerk upright. “I just– I can hunt with my friend, can’t I?”

Fireheart gave him a look.

Greystripe sighed. “She told me to stay away for a bit to let our scents fade.”

“Thank you for being honest.” Fireheart walked past him, tapping his chest with his tail. “Come on, it’s been a while. Tigerclaw said to hunt near the Sycamore for a bit.”

Greystripe stuttered out some gratitudes before following after him.

The Sycamore was rather close to camp—only a short walk in the opposite direction of the camp entrance. When they reached it, Fireheart gazed up as far back as he could tilt his head, marveling silently at its height. Most of its leaves had fallen off, leaving the pale branches to scratch at the sky with long, crooked claws. The very top of the tree reminded Fireheart of a human’s hand, its stretched toes straining to catch a star.

“If this place has the most sacred cats buried here,” he asked Greystripe, “does it feel a little weird to you to hunt prey around this tree?”

Greystripe snorted. “It’s not like the prey has the souls of these cats, Fireheart. If anything, they’d encourage us to catch them.”

“I hope so.” Fireheart looked around, sniffing.

Mouse. Somewhere close by. He lowered his body into a half-crouch and took a few steps to his right, testing the direction of the scent-trail.

“Uh—” Greystripe cleared his throat. “Actually, hold on a moment.”

Fireheart blinked and stood up straight. “What’s up?”

It was interesting, how much a stone-colored tower of stark stripes and long fur could emulate a tiny kit about to be scolded by his parents. His head turned back and forth anxiously as his front feet kneaded the ground like he wanted to run and was trying to sate his paws by stepping in place. Even his broad, hard-cheeked face was weirdly youthful, his eyes big and darting side-to-side, as if seeking an exit. Fireheart waited patiently until he spoke.

“Listen,” Greystripe started unsteadily. “About Silverstream, and Ravenwing—”

He stopped, like he was expecting an interruption. Fireheart didn’t give him one; he just stood and looked up at his friend, head slightly tilted.

Greystripe worked his jaw and then continued. “It’s messed up, I know. I should talk to Ravenwing.“

“You should apologize to him,” Fireheart said, faintly surprised by the edge in his voice.

“I know… but—”

Fireheart didn’t hesitate to cut him off this time, and he didn’t bother to hide his stern anger. “There is no ‘but’. You said some incredibly cruel things. You already know how sensitive he is, and you did it anyway just to get him to go away.”

Greystripe almost looked grateful for the chance to go on the defensive. “Hey, he was yelling at me for something I can’t help!” His voice muted a little. “You don’t know what Silverstream means to me. You’ve never been in this situation before, you wouldn’t get it.”

Fireheart’s chest suddenly blazed with frustration, and for once, he was having a hard time controlling it. He focused his eyes skyward, away from Greystripe, and inhaled a deep, calming breath, forcibly blowing the fire out. Unfortunately, that frustration had a few sparks left, and they latched onto his next words.

“Honestly, Greystripe?” he said, almost too conversationally for the heat coming out of his mouth. “I don’t know if I care.”

Greystripe stared at him, his expression between outraged and shocked.

 “Maybe I haven’t felt love like that, and maybe I never will…” Fireheart met his eyes and focused hard on not blinking. “But you know, I don’t think I’d let that change how I talk to my friends. To cats that are just looking out for me and making sure I don’t make a mistake.”

Greystripe bristled. “She is not a mistake!”

“You breaking the law is,” Fireheart said coolly.

“Since when did you care about the code?” Greystripe snapped. “You know how often you got in trouble as an apprentice? How you helped me with RiverClan before Bluestar allowed it?”

Fireheart blinked slowly, passive-aggressive in its friendliness. “At the very least, I would say my decisions led to cats being saved.”

“Ohhh, big savior, you,” Greystripe said sarcastically. “Well, my decisions have led to me being happy. I’m just hanging out with someone I care about. I’m not talking with stupid kittypets and refusing to fight to protect my Clan.”

Fireheart twitched his whiskers in grim amusement. “You know, when you immediately jump to being hurtful to get someone to leave you alone, that says something about the validity of your argument.”

Greystripe opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Fireheart cocked his head, a half-challenge that Greystripe didn’t meet. Instead, he just turned and stalked away, disappearing into the underbrush in a very similar fashion to Ravenwing, albeit much noisier.

Fireheart sighed deeply, trying to shoo all the tension and anger out of his body. It left him trembling a little. He waited until he was a bit steadier before walking back for camp, his hunting trip forgotten. The walk was longer, his feet slow and a little wobbly. He didn’t bother catching anything.

He re-entered camp, only for a squeal to make him jump. Before he could look, a weight barreled into him, making him stumble to the side. His alarm passed as soon as he got a look at his assailant: a fluffy dark golden-brown kitten with dark blue eyes that was frowning at him.

“You were s’posed to fall over,” the little tom said.

Fireheart purred. “I’m sorry. You can tackle me again, if you like.”

“You will do no such thing.” Frostfur approached and extended a graceful paw to pull the kitten back. “It’s rude to attack your Clanmates.”

Fireheart blinked, the brightened up considerably, standing straighter. “Oh! Are all your kits out now?”

“They are.” Frostfur swept with her long tail, gesturing to a cluster of various shades of gold and white wrestling in a pile. “I’m sure you’d like to meet them.”

“I would!” Fireheart beamed, then looked at Frostfur nervously. “They’re safe outside now, right?”

To his surprise, Frostfur’s eyes were bright with amusement. “Yes, they’re safe. This one is Thornkit.”

“H’lo,” Thornkit said, his thin tail wagging. He puffed out his white chest.

Fireheart dipped his head to the little tom. “Hello. I’m Fireheart.”

Thornkit blinked owlishly. He looked up at his much taller mother. “Can I go play?”

Frostfur lifted her long, feathery-furred leg. “Be nice to your Clanmates.”

Thornkit didn’t bother to respond, just waddle-ran at the now splitting pile of kittens. Fireheart could pick them out separately; one was a lighter golden-brown than Thornkit, but with white feet and a tail-tip, another was white all over, and the last was vibrantly patched with white and a gingery-gold.

“Who are the rest?” Fireheart asked Frostfur.

Frostfur pointed to each one separately. “The lighter tom is Brackenkit, the white one is Snowkit, and their sister is Brightkit.”

A trill escaped Fireheart’s throat. “They’re all adorable.”

“They better be,” Frostfur said, with a rare warmth. “That’s the only way they can get away with being little beasts when I’m trying to sleep.”

Fireheart chuffed. He didn’t comment aloud, but aside from color, Thornkit looked every bit like his father. Even Snowkit, who was smaller than the others, had Lionface’s mane already growing out.

That reminded him.

“So…” He looked up at Frostfur again. “Did Snowkit’s hearing come in?”

Frostfur sighed through her nose, her ears turning back. “No. I think he’s deaf for life.”

“Oh, no,” Fireheart said before he could think. He rushed to add, “I mean, not that– well– I just imagine it’ll be hard to talk to him, right?”

“Among other things,” Frostfur replied unhappily, paused, then quietly continued, “He hasn’t said a single word, and all of his siblings can talk easily. I’m… a little worried that he won’t even be able to leave camp without someone to watch him if he grows up.”

Fireheart nodded sympathetically.

Frostfur was silent for a moment before adding, even quieter than before, “There’s just too much out there that can hurt him, you know? He’d just have to not notice a fox, or turn his back on the road…”

Silence for a long moment between them as they watched the kits. Thornkit was doing his best to corral his exuberant siblings, who kept getting away from him. Brackenkit ran in circles to greet every cat he caught sight of, while Brightkit bit at Snowkit’s tail and tried swatting at him. Snowkit’s eyes, a paler blue than the rest of them, were wide with wonder and excitement as he turned in place, staring at everything around him, flopping onto his back haunches a few times. He didn’t even look like he noticed his sister’s antagonizing.

“Well…” Fireheart turned to Frostfur now. “I think he’ll be okay. He’s got a whole Clan to keep him safe, doesn’t he?”

Frostfur’s eyes slid over to him, somewhere between wary and hopeful. He gave her a firm, supportive nod and her body relaxed a little.

“I appreciate that,” she murmured. “Thank you.”

Fireheart blinked at her encouragingly before returning to watching her litter.

“Said ‘come back’!” Thornkit was shouting, running clumsily after Brightkit.

Brightkit stuck her tongue out at him and continued on her way, which was heading straight for the ferns by the meeting stump.

“We can’t go there!” Thornkit tried to put on the speed and just tripped over his front feet, rolling and tumbling. “Brightkit!”

Brightkit squeaked triumphantly just as Cinderpaw was pushing her way out of the fern patch. Fireheart didn’t have a chance to warn Cinderpaw before the patched kitten barreled into her.

Frostfur stood up in alarm, but Cinderpaw took the hit easily. She looked down at Brightkit, who was sitting up from the collision, before wriggling her haunches and tackling the kit back. The pair rolled around in a ball of fur and playful yowls.

“By a crow’s eye, fool girl!” Yellowfang rasped, hobbling after her. “You’re on seer business, not queen duty!”

“I’m allowed to play with my Clanmates!” Cinderpaw called back, pretending to be pinned by Brightkit. “It builds character!”

Yellowfang made a noise between a grumbling growl and a heavy sigh. She squinted one eye at Fireheart, gesturing with a paw at her apprentice with an air of ‘Can you believe this rot?’.

Fireheart didn’t bother hiding his amusement. “Let them play. It’s fine.”

“Ach, you’re useless.” Yellowfang shook her head, croaking at Cinderpaw, “And you acted like the world ends tomorrow just a moment ago. Does StarClan speak to you through that lump?”

Fireheart glanced at Frostfur, whose eyes narrowed.

“Fine, fine,” Cinderpaw sighed dramatically. “Let me up, Brighty.”

Brightkit obeyed immediately—perhaps, judging by the nervous look she gave Yellowfang, that was no surprise. Cinderpaw got up and licked the kitten's forehead before trotting back to her mentor, her own fur sticking out in all directions and covered in sand.

“Did she already meet Brightkit before I got here?” Fireheart asked Frostfur.

“Both of them did,” Frostfur replied. “They visited me after the kits were born to tell me their story.”

Fireheart tilted his head. “Sorry?”

“Oh! That’s a really cool thing!” Cinderpaw said suddenly, darting over to Fireheart just as she reached Yellowfang. “Yeah, when kits are born, seers visit and tell the mother what they see in the kits’ futures!”

Yellowfang rolled her bugged-out eyes and limped over. “Trade secret, you dolt. Now don’t you go telling him what we saw.”

“Sorry!” Cinderpaw bobbed her head at her mentor. “It’s just such a cool thing to do!”

“That is cool,” Fireheart agreed, eyes wide in amazement. No matter how many times he was told about it, seers being able to read the future still blew his mind. Such an incredible ability, given to cats like squat and grumpy Yellowfang, and overly-energetic Cinderpaw…

He realized something and asked Yellowfang, “Hey, maybe you can check on what happens to them now? At least maybe Snowkit?” His eyes darted to Frostfur, worried he’d upset her, but she looked interested in this idea too, leaning forward a little.

“It’ll have to wait, boy.” Yellowfang jerked her head her apprentice’s way. “The fuzzy idiot here wants to go back to the road.”

“Oh,” Fireheart said, deflating a little in worry. “Are you still having those dreams, Cinderpaw?”

“And that dumb feeling,” Cinderpaw grumbled. She looked back at the scattered kits before leaning in and whispering, “And we’ve both gotten new visions about something else!”

“Girl!” Yellowfang said sharply.

Cinderpaw waved her tail at her mentor. “He can hear about it.”

“Seer business isn’t warrior business,” Yellowfang growled. “Especially when we know not what we see.”

Frostfur opened her mouth, but then looked past them and stood up. “Brightkit! Stop that! Come here!” She looked at the other cats, adding, “I’ll leave you to it,” before loping off towards her kits, who were wrestling and squealing.

“Fireheart can keep a secret,” Cinderpaw insisted. “He already knows about the road thing.”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me,” Fireheart said quickly. “I mean, I am curious, but…”

Yellowfang scowled between him and Cinderpaw before scoffing and flicking a paw. “Go on.”

Cinderpaw immediately closed in on Fireheart’s personal space, whispering conspiratorially, “So we both saw it twice so far—there’s this puddle, and Bluestar’s reflection is in it, right? But it keeps rippling, like wind’s blowing on it or something, until you can’t even see her face really. And we both smelled the road at the same time before we woke up!”

An immediate feeling of something cold and gut-twisting hit Fireheart’s stomach without him understanding why. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Haven’t a proper clue yet,” Yellowfang muttered as she walked past him. “But never do I see a leader without something grave about to happen.”

Fireheart didn’t say anything. His throat clenched.

“We’re going to the road now to see for ourselves,” Cinderpaw added. “If something bad comes up, we can tell you later.”

Fireheart nodded, trying to ease himself back down to cheeriness. “Good luck out there.”

“Later!” Cinderpaw said, completely oblivious to whatever Yellowfang was squinting at Fireheart’s face for. She bounced past him and trotted out of camp, tail high.

Yellowfang was close enough to swat Fireheart with her tail. “Chin up. We’ll find something yet. This isn’t your problem.”

Fireheart nodded again. Yellowfang didn’t look satisfied, but she turned with a snorting sniff and hobbled out after her apprentice.

Fireheart sighed and turned back to watch the kits be scolded by their mother. The cold in his belly set there, just chilly enough to refuse to let him focus on anything else.

Why Bluestar’s reflection? Why ripples?

Whatever the answer was, Fireheart was sure he wasn’t going to like it.

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Band of Sisters, Band of Thieves (Medieval Powerwolf x Fem!Princess! Reader) - Part I

Summary: 5 daughters of the King find themselves falling for one of the members of a talented band of mercenaries. Their stories intertwine as they embark on a journey of self discovery and finding true love through every challenge they face.

WARNINGS: Mention of character death, slight descriptions of stabbing someone with a sword

Part II

My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!

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You sat with your hands folded neatly in your lap, posture as straight as you could possibly muster in the chair at your mother’s side. Your father chatted jovially with the leader of his most infamous band of mercenaries, The Wolfborne Company. You caught his gaze, a flirtatious smile passing over his lips as your eyes met his. "I'd be more than honored to escort the Princess to her meeting with the Duke. It's the least I could do after all the hospitality you've shown us, Your Grace." You aggressively stabbed into one of the vegetables that sat on your plate.

“(Y/N), what has gotten into you?” Your mother whispers harshly at your antics. You sucked in a deep breath as you struggled to regain your composure. He always managed to get under your skin, you loathed the fact he could get such a reaction out of you.

“Excuse me.” You loudly push your chair back from the table, hurrying out of the dining hall. You couldn’t keep the scowl off your face at the sound of him chuckling, undoubtedly at your disgusted appearance. It wasn’t that you had a particular disdain for the Wolfborne Company, it was just their commander. Attila Dorn was one of the most boorish, insolent brutes you had ever met. You huffed angrily, fussing with your skirts in an attempt to get them out of the way of your feet. "He is being absolutely ridiculous, I am the last person to need an escort." You spit out the word like it left a bitter taste in your mouth. You huff, collapsing onto the stone bench you had stumbled across in the garden.

"Sounds to me like it could be a pretty dangerous journey, Princess." Your scowl darkened at the sound of his voice. "Wouldn't want the King's eldest to get into trouble meeting a potential suitor, now would we?" You didn't even want to give him the satisfaction of glancing in his direction.

"I would be just fine going to visit the Duke on my own, thank you very much." You cross your arms over your chest. He chuckles, a sound that makes your blood boil. You reluctantly look up at him as he steps into your direct line of sight. "Surely one of your men has a greater sense of decency than you, I should be going with one of them at the very least." He breathes out a laugh, an unamused look on his face as he stares down at you.

"Just be ready to go by dawn, Your Majesty." It was impossible to ignore the mocking tone in his voice as he stated your title, giving you a pathetic bow before stomping off. Your eyes trailed after him as he left, only until your attention was caught by the sound of laughter deeper in the garden. You let out an amused sigh, playfully rolling your eyes as you recognized it was one of your sisters laughing. You stood, not wanting to interrupt whatever she could possibly be up to. Well, that was your intent at least. Before you had a chance to exit the gardens she stumbled into view, Matthew Greywolf of Attila's band of mercenaries in tow. The two had been seeing each other in secret for quite some time now. They both froze when they saw you, matching wide eyed stares adorned their features. You held a finger to your lips, letting her know you'd keep quiet about what you had seen. You turned and headed back towards the castle, you had a trip to prepare for. You sat in your chambers, struggling to make a selection on which gowns you would like to bring with you for your visit to the Duke.

"Is everything alright, Miss? You seem a bit down." One of your handmaid's asks, perching herself at your side.

"Yes Charlotte, I'm quite alright, they're both just so beautiful I don't know which one to pick." You feign a laugh to amuse her. She went back to assisting you in your choices, leaving you to sit and ponder. If you were being entirely honest, you felt a bit bored by the whole situation. The Duke should have been everything you could ever want; a man of status, someone who could easily take care of you, someone who would be there to assist you in taking over for your father once he had passed on. The Duke wasn't a terrible man by any means, either. He was kind, charming, and handsome. The perfect husband for the Princess. The only issue was the fact that your heart simply didn't belong to him. He was a smart match, you understood that better than anyone. It was your duty to uphold the values and expectations of a kingdom that would one day be yours. But you couldn't shake the memory of the wide eyed little girl sitting at your mother's vanity, her telling you stories of charming princes and adventures in far off lands. Stories about falling in love with a person made exactly for you. Marrying for love never seemed like a feasible option for you. You had been studying and training to become the head of the royal household for as long as you could remember, but you would be lying if you said it didn't hurt to let go of the dream you had as a little girl. Once your handmaids had finished loading up your trunk you dismissed them for the evening, wanting to turn in since you had to get an early start the next morning.

You groaned as one of your handmaids pushed open the curtains, the first light of day just beginning to break over the horizon. "Good morning Miss." She greets you with a smile. You return her greeting, stretching before dropping your feet to the cold wooden floor. She helped you dress, making sure every tie, clasp, and button was done up properly before you headed down to meet Sir Attila and your coachman.

"Good morning, Your Highness." Your coachman bows politely before offering you his hand to help you into the carriage. Attila was already seated inside. He offered you no greeting, just his usual bored expression.

"Sir Attila, good morning." You tried your best to sound cordial.

"I'm surprised, I thought you'd be throwing a tantrum in front of your father about me escorting you." He states with a smug grin. You roll your eyes, turning your attention out the window.

"A lady doesn't throw tantrums." You snip. "If my father believes you're the best man to get me to and from my visit with the Duke safely I have to trust his judgment." You fold your arms over your chest. The carriage lurched a bit as you set off, a tension hanging between the two of you as you sat in an uncomfortable silence. You watched the trees lazily roll by out the window, every so often getting caught up by the sight of birds dancing through the air.

"I apologize for addressing you so rudely, Princess." He mutters, never glancing in your direction. You had to stop the smile that attempted to creep across your lips.

"You're forgiven." You would be traveling for about three days. You were a bit shocked when the carriage stopped and Attila offered his hand to help you out. "Thank you." You say softly, your eyes locking with his as you carefully take the step down. You rested on a nearby rock as you watched him quickly set up camp. Being a mercenary definitely had its benefits in this situation, your tents were set up and a fire was going rather quickly. You kept to yourself, enjoying the stillness of the night air, the shrill chirps of crickets surrounding you. You jumped slightly at the feeling of someone nudging your shoulder.

"You should eat, we still have a lot of traveling ahead." He holds out a bowl of some type of porridge. "I know this is probably insufficient compared to your usual supper, but it'll keep your strength up." You take it from him, your fingers brushing over his gloved ones. He stood by your side for a moment, a silent presence you were grateful for. Ever since the process of finding a suitor had started you had felt more alone than ever. You had your four younger sisters, of course. But they could never understand the kind of pressure you were under. You heard Attila shift, signaling he was about to head back to the fire.

"Attila," he didn't respond, but the silence that followed told you he was listening. "Would you sit with me… just for a little while longer?"

"Of course, Your Highness." He sounded a bit shocked by your request. He sits with his back to yours, both of you quietly eating your meals. "I think it's really admirable how serious you are about being next in line for the throne."

You chuckle, "I'm sorry, did the great Commander Attila just give me a compliment?" You hear him return your laugh. You found yourself smiling, lazily stirring the porridge in your bowl. "Attila?" He grunts. "You can call me by my first name if you'd like." You mutter softly.

"I think it's best if we don't muddy the waters, Your Highness." You're cut off by the sound of your horses getting startled and running off. Attila sensing that something was wrong immediately went on guard. "Stay behind me." You stood, pressing yourself as close to him as possible. He was alerted by the sound of a snapping branch, "get down!" He grabs you, forcing you to duck down by shielding your body with his. An arrow whizzing by was heard overhead followed by the struggled gasp of your coachmen. Attila draws his broadsword, commanding you to sit behind the rock. "If you see anyone you scream. I will be here to protect you, I promise." Before your very eyes, gone was the bumbling brute you were used to seeing around the castle. Commander Dorn now stood before you, just as strong and focused as the stories you had heard of his triumphs on the battlefield. His eyes darted up before he rushed forward, the sound of metal clanging together not far behind you. Your hands shook, your tight corset only adding to your fear ridden anxious breathing, jumping at every potential darting shadow. Your eyes widened as you watched a man emerge from the brush, flail in hand and a malicious smirk on his face.

"Attila!" You cried out for him. Faster than you could comprehend he was in front of you, expertly deflecting the man's attack with a single blow. He grabbed the man by his chest plate, yanking him forward and sending his sword straight into his side. The man collapsed on the ground without a sound, Attila stood in the middle of the clearing breathing heavily. You both perked up at the sound of a much larger group closing in quickly.

He grabs your arm, hoisting you from the ground. "Run." He pulls you in the direction of the trees. You hurried to gather up your skirts, trying your hardest not to trip over the fabric or the roots jutting from the ground. Pure terror wracked through your body, the pure adrenaline the only thing keeping you moving. You were trying your best to listen, hoping you would have lost the group by now, but they were still trailing you through the forest. You almost collapsed as the realization crossed your mind, the sound was growing closer.

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[lunasilvis]

I'm sure it's the final consequence of things accumilating over this past year and that's understandable, because yes - I am realizing now I have asked too much of you, took up more space than I should, and I'm sorry for appearing selfish - I will take some time to think over how my actions led to your reaction and will try to learn from that. Thank you. But if I may have room to say anything for myself through here: I wish you had communicated this to me sooner. Instead of through an unexpected blow-up, then raising a wall straight after where now my hands are tied and I can't react. Sorry, I apparently failed to read between the lines at times. Clear communication about your total and unchangeable romantic disinterest would had helped me get over this faster and in a much more effective way, honestly. Thank you for telling me now, my heart already feels calmer now that I know.

It's less visible, but know I have put in work too, through the years to show repent and help build a safe friendship. To come forward and offer explanation, but never expecting or desiring to rekindle. That'd be up to you, and then it became a choice we both made. I'm sorry for coming over in march, probably shouldn't had written to you then after, and I realize now I shouldn't had and let it go. But I thought I could discuss it and the aftermath without judgement. Please don't dismiss me, reduce me to something terrible in your head now that I'm not, and have absolutely worked so fucking hard for to outgrow and heal. If I still am that to you and it has made only minimal or fickle progress, then yes, we cannot be friends, because that is both your but also my old wound reverberating.

I'm sorry if that is your experience, but claiming I perceive you as a voodoo doll - when I have been so busy working through my feelings, and succeeding for the major part (sadly not always in the desired lineair motion, but regardless most of that has been worked through) is cold. I must have mistaken an anonymous text I received a week ago for yours, that's what I meant when I said I mistook some signals. Someone claiming to be you, and calling me 'yours'. That threw me off in a way, and was why I texted you last week. I'm mature and have sufficient self-respect not to transform any grain of platonic interaction into some supposedly misinterpreted romantic interest. But these words are not light in my eyes and I believe they shouldn't be cheap words one just tosses around, so it wrongly struck me as suggestive.

I'm sorry, but will grant you any time and space now. I don't think I deserve being left like this after your word blitzkrieg when I thought it was important to process something, but against our history I'll understand. I won't take up your time or reach out to you, won't search for contact, I respect your decision and I will adhere to your wish to stay away. But if any day in the future you somehow feel enough time has passed – know I'm willing to have an open chat, no expectations, and perhaps be your friend again if that's what is or feels right.

Thank you for everything, the lengths we've gone to keep a beautifully odd friendship. The lengths you've gone through, I never demanded any of your labor deliberately, but will always appreciate and think of you with a calm heart and good thoughts (as your friend, I have no concealed interests whatsoever and have never had them. I hope you do know I have adult decency and respect). I let you call for 3 hours because I care about you as a friend, I let you ventilate your heart because I wanted you to know you have someone who truly cares. Not for my own gain.

All the best and healing your way, as I will have mine too. I hope till someday again, whether that's as friends or just to have the chance to have an equal conversation and to properly talk this out, whether in summer or again in a decade. Whenever you're ready, but it's okay if that day won't come. I'm determined then to make peace with that for myself. I have enough love, patience and respect for you to not cross any lines and to stay in your past if that's truly where our friendship seems to belong for you. But may you ever feel safe enough and ready again, know I'm here.