#deathvisited: sebastian.

[thewholecrew]

@deathvisited said: [ KISS ]: sender pins receiver against the wall and kisses them passionately. / seb & trin

it was crazy for trinity to think about her life before sebastian had become her bodyguard. to think of the people she surrounded herself with -- mean girls she just thought she had to pretend to be friends with in order to have a life in the high society she was forced to live in. see that was the problem, she thought she had to live this way, to keep herself and her hobbies hidden because those around her wouldn't understand. would mock her, scoff at it and brush off her interests. why make something when you can just buy something better? they would probably ask.

she didn't have to worry about that anymore. after having sebastian by her side her life as she knew it had kind of blown up. she no longer wished to pretend to be friends with girls who didn't have her best interest at heart. mean girls. though she'd definitely been one growing up she didn't like it, had been trying to change for years. slowly she had been able to cultivate friends who shared similar interests, who were nice and fun and non-judgemental. sebastian had introduced her to some, here at the event they were at.

not only had he been protecting her, he had become a close friend (as well as fuck buddy? master?) she wasn't quite sure the right term but, he'd helped open her very small narrowminded world up to so much and she was grateful for that. the event they were at however was quite overwhelming for her. trinity wouldn't say she was a prude by any means but she had never experienced such sexual freedom and vulnerability. she, herself was dressed moderately but the men and woman around were quite a sight. she tried not to gawk as she held tightly to sebastians hand.

she was both nervous and excited, this just another check off her list, a new adventure and again, most of the people here seemed to be genuine, non-judgemental, fun and caring. a far cry from the rich snobs she had grown up with. she could never imagine anyone she knew in highschool coming to this, or even giving it a second thought. trin would have been shunned for sure. after exploring the dungeon, sebastian lead her down an empty hallway, checking in on her as he always did. it was hard for her heart not to flutter when he'd touch her cheek or tilt her chin up. offer her that beatific smile that felt like the sun beaming down on her, that had her practically blossom beneath it.

"i'm okay," she promised softly, dark doe eyes shining up at him. "just a lot to take in, but... your friends seem really nice." it was hard for her to concentrate though as his thumb brushed along her bottom lip, mouth parting as her cheeks grew rosy and her lashes fluttered. she had been tempted to close her lips around it before he drew her up as he met her in a kiss. it was always a coin toss to whether he would be soft with her or not and both were desired. his mouth started soft against hers before his hand slid from her chin to her throat as he backed her against the wall. she gave a gasp against his lips before a soft whimper escaped, her hands raising to grip tightly to his shirt.

somewhere in the back of her mind she knew they were in public and she had been beyond paranoid about it. she didn't wish for him to get fired since he was still her bodyguard but no one who knew her would know she was here with him. no one here would care. her face grew hot as his tongue slid between her lips and his hand teased her by petting along her throat. it had her dizzy as she gave herself to him with a quiet moan. she should be embarrassed, she thought, for falling apart so easily in public but of all places.. but then he pulled away to leave her in a daze, doe eyes swirling with desire as she panted softly. that devious grin he offered her had her shiver. they could leave now, she thought, she'd very much like to be alone with him to see just what wicked ideas he had in store.

[thewholecrew]

@deathvisited: nate, verity, kassy & sebastian. / verse: modern.

     nate's brows rose as sebastian explained the difference between high quality and poor quality items and how getting the cheaper option wasn't necessarily a good idea. he didn't want to risk hurting verity so maybe it wasn't so bad to try things out here. he had no clue how expensive anything was but he had a feeling it wasn't something he'd willingly want to spend money on, not unless verity really wanted it of course. he gave a mildly concerned look at sebastian's teasing but he scoffed laughed at that with a shrug,"i guess we'll find out." his lips pursed though at the thought of verity maybe wanting to put him in a cage, he doubted she'd want that, or well find that sexy? she'd probably do it just for fun and he'd obey just for fun too, so long as they didn't expect to just leave him in there. he wasn't too worried, either way he was sure he'd be able to break out of it, but that would be one thing he'd never thought he'd need to.

     he also agreed with what sebastian that it wasn't often they could go to a club and not get at least one or two handsy few trying to feel them up. those nights usually ended with him being escorted out or him having to carry his fiesty girl out over his shoulder so she didn't kill any one -- so this would be a nice change for that too. his grin grew at that the memories with a shake of his head. he gave sebastian a nod as he headed over towards where the ladies sat, gaze going back to where sebastian and their new booth was though so he could lead them to it.

     between conversation with verity, her eyes would occassionally stray to where her boys were on the dance floor, then to caleb and rykard and back. everyone here was usually on their best behaviour but they'd get the odd douchebag every once and a while. plus, her dark eyes sparkled with amusement and adoration watching callum and alec interact. as verity took her hand and squeezed, her attention returned to verity and a bright grin spread across her full lips. "gurl, of course!" she answered with a shake of her head, squeezing her hand back, her other going atop to pat verity's. "and you look fucking amazing, totally in theme and hot as fuck," she complimented before laughing as verity trailed off, "not quite what you expected?" she finished for her with a tilt of her head.

     "i promised you i wouldn't lead you astray," she said playfully as she offered ver a gentle shoulder nudge. "and listen, you got any questions, i'd love to answer. this place is a lot of fun but it could be a little overwhelming for people not accustom to this kind of scene," kassy offered with a grin. "you know what kinda dynamic y'all two want? or not even that? --- which is fine, i can show you some of my fav things, see if anything catches your eye," she winked before they both spotted nathan coming over to them. kassy's gaze went briefly to verity as she seemed to light up and bloom like a flower in the sun when she saw nate and kassy couldn't help the softer smile that grew on her face. "seems like it," she agreed.

     "you're not interrupting," kassy answered nate easily as he handed the two of them their drinks. she thanked him, dark eyes then glancing the direction he'd come from, looking for sebastian. "oh, good," she answered when nate told them sebastian had snagged them a booth, "you two head over, i'll let the boys know," she smiled as she rose, giving verity's hand one last squeeze before she let go. nate then held his hand out for verity before it slid around her waist protectively, perhaps not as necessary here like sebastian had said but an honest habit. plus, he liked having her close. "alright, we're just over there," he pointed for kassy before he began to head over there with verity. "so, ah, what do you think of this place?" he asked verity on their way. "uh, also... sebastian was asking questions about us, i figured i'd ask you if you're okay with me talking about it first before i start sharing our business," he also added, thumb lightly brushing along one of the straps of her outfit along her hip.

@thewholecrew -- modern verse / sebastian & nate

if verity were curious then he could see kassys innocent maneuvering having invited them here, it was a no pressure environment to expose the two of them. verity could very well decide she wasn't into anything and they go home happy, or she could be curious and explore that curiosity here --- safely and supervised by her friends. he chuckled softly to himself as he took another sip of his drink, almost wanting to cheers kassy for how well she'd made this all happen. "exactly, a lot of things when it comes to this hobby are expensive and rightfully so, at least if you want good quality things that don't break on you," he explained with an easy shrug, setting his glass down on the counter before grinning. "if you use shitty things they'll end up breaking or cutting into skin, and other nasty things," he shrugged it off.

he'd seen the scars that were left behind by shitty bindings and breaking paddles and it wasn't often pretty. using everyday objects was always fun, but could also be dangerous as they could cut off blood flow and cause serious damage later on. his blue eyes sparkled as he looked at nate with a slow smirk. "oh i won't force you into a cage, but your lady may have other ideas," he teased with a wicked grin as he looked over at the two of them. "mmm, you both should figure it out, either way it's a fun club to come to if you don't want to get accosted by annoying people." it was one of the reasons he liked coming here, he didn't even always participate in the back rooms, but he could always come have a good time and not be bothered if he didn't want to be.

"sounds good," he agreed, picking up his drink and heading towards the booth. he caught calebs attention and waved him over, watching the blonde boy grab rykards hand and tug him along. he settled in the booth to wait for the group to join him, thanking the bottle girl as she deposited a bucket with ice and a bottle of their preferred liquor in the center of the table. things would be good tonight, he was sure of it, even if he wasn't entirely sure what was in store for him and his boys he was excited to be meeting someone new that honestly seemed like a fun guy, which was rare. he usually didn't get along with your typical american male, and yet he had an open mind about this one.

verity had had an idea of what this place would be like, and she'd been entirely wrong.... which honestly if she hadn't thought she'd be wrong she wouldn't have shown up. she'd been reassured by the fact that kassy said she came here a lot, and knowing the girl she wouldn't be going to some seedy big bellied sex den where men and women were likely to grope you as look at you. now sitting along the dance floor with the music bumping and her eyes sparkling she was having fun.

looking over at the dark haired beauty she leaned in, her hand going to kassys and squeezing it. "thank you for inviting us!" she whisper yelled over the music, leaning back with shining blue eyes. "this place seems really cool, and well...." she was curious, she'd be lying if she wasn't. otherwise they wouldn't even be here, because god knew nate wasn't curious. she just..... had experienced the darker side of these things in her life and she wanted to see what it was like when it was actually consensual, when it was actually wanted. maybe she wanted to deal with the trauma of it a little bit, but there was a part inside of her that sprung forth whenever nate got a little handsy and...

she shivered looking up as she saw him coming through the crowd, her eyes and face lighting up as if the sun itself had come to shine on her. "oh here comes our drinks i think," she said to kassy, glancing at her with an excited wiggle. she had dressed the part and her outfit was made mostly of straps, but in comparison to what some of the people were wearing hers was downright tame.

[headstrongblake]

i thought you told me to leave. / @deathvisited​

      octavia puffs on the last of her joint, watching sebastian inside the apartment while she leaned against the rickety fire escape. but her brows furrow when it looks like he’s collecting his things, and jacket. “ hey, no, where are you going? ” octavia looks his way, a pout evident in her lips despite the way she tries to hide it. i thought you told me to leave.

    at some point, she couldn’t keep using jasper’s murder as an excuse to be a mess. she’s been one long before jasper’s shadow followed her everywhere. long before sebastian was ever released. it’s why there’s such a growing distance between her brother and her. octavia having not seen him in months, even today on a day like her birthday, neither of them call the other. 

     a heavy huff comes forth as she flicks the roach over the railing, “ i tell you to leave about a hundred times a week... ” she pointed out, climbing back through the window from the fire escape. it takes her a second for the world to right itself as the vodka moves through her blood stream, but eventually she does and she moves towards him. “ you’re not supposed to listen to me. ” her hand touches his jacket that still rests on the back of her couch, green eyes lifting up to him. “ stay... we’ll order food or something. ”

[tootiredtm]

" i ran you a nice hot bath. that should calm your nerves a little, yeah? "

✧   /    - ̗̀    RANDOM MEME    ̖́-    /   always accepting   /   @deathvisited : sebastian.

        her heart was still pounding and it took a concentrated effort not to hyperventilate while sebastian disappeared into the bathroom. it had taken a moment for him to pry her hands from his shirt and take comfort in alec’s presence. dark eyes were wide as they darted around her apartment, every shadow and dark corner had her momentarily visualizing that mans face. she was struggling to feel safe even if he was dead. curled in a ball on the bed, she made herself small enough to fit in alec’s arms, hands now grasping his shirt tightly as she tried her best to calm her breathing.          she was fine, sebastian had saved her, no one would hurt her again. she was safe in her apartment with those she cared about; sebastian, chromie, alec. in that moment, her cat hopped up on the bed and she nearly screamed, flinching with a gasp before realizing who it was, the sudden movement towards her giving her vivid flashbacks of her kidnapping. “ it’s okay, it’s just chromie she just wants to see you.. ” alec spoke softly, holding her in a way he’d never done before, never been allowed. it frightened him, the state she was in. it pained him to know what she’d been through. the bruises and cuts had been bandaged and treated well but knowing they were there broke his heart.           kassy shuddered after briefly brushing her fingers through chromie’s thick fur and she turned to hide her face against his chest, heart skipping a beat once again at the suddenness of sebastians voice as he immerged from the bathroom. it wasn’t sudden though, she knew he was here, she knew he had gone into the bathroom yet she still jumped when she felt the bed dip beside her. exhaling shakily she reluctantly sat up, nodding at his question before practically crawling into his lap. “ don’t leave me,” she whispered, arms wrapping around his neck as he rose from the bed, having no choice but to carry her to the bath.  he wouldn’t, she knew that, but she couldn’t help as fear controlled her. looking up at him with wide doe eyes, another small shudder ran through her as his thumb gently wiped the tears that stained her cheeks.

[portectorisms]

| @deathvisited asked: 👗 - a starter where my muse helps yours get ready for a fancy event [ eg. fixing their tie, zipping their dress ]

A sigh escapes as hazelnut gaze looks at the reflection staring back at him in the mirror. How he hated wearing anything that felt stuffy. Dress blues had been one thing at an event done by the military, but this? He hadn't cared much about a white tie affair or the things offered to him with an open hand. Pretty girls in pretty dresses. Pretty men in tuxedos. He could find those at any other place than a fancy schmancy party where he had to act and be just like them. Gaze darts to Sebastian then, teeth dragging bottom lip between them, chewing at it in mild annoyance as he moves from the mirror, forgetting how weird it was to walk in this outfit, over to the tatted man before him. "You've clearly never wore a tie, have you?" He laughs a little, reaching out to fix the piece of satin hanging around the other's neck, easily. "At least you got the shirt on right. You get a jacket to match?" Bellamy's tone shows off the joke in his words. He can't take any of this seriously in private but once out on the floor, that switch will be flipped and he'll pose as presentable, after all, he has a whole country on his shoulders. "I feel like I'm missing the hat for this, but I don't really want to find it. Fuck cleaning up well for a dumb party." Another pause and he steps back, admiring his own work with Sebastian's tie. "Why are we going to this again?"

[mechbeaut]

| @deathvisited asked: 🌪️ - a starter where our muses are trapped together during a storm.

Thunder rages on outside the apartment building as the flashes of lightning feel far too close than they should. The view was spectacular from the window. A beautiful display of nature's anger as the skies cried above her. It was daytime, nearly two in the afternoon but the darkness outside would have led someone to believe that was a lie. Surely it had to be at least seven pm. Rylan wraps her arms around her torso. This wasn't her apartment. She didn't live here but it had been her best friend's and she came here to get away. Addison was away on a business trip and Rylan needed a break from her mother. Max was gone for the weekend and she took advantage of that, slipping away to let the world forget she existed for at least a little while. A refresher. A way to recharge her batteries. She draws a breath and heads for the kitchen. Food and coffee both sounded magical as her stomach rumbled in time with the crashing of thunder above. She could feel the floor shake a little and she lets fear trickle down the back of her throat. It's just a storm. Nothing to worry about. Yet, when the power goes out, she let's a little bit of shriek escape between her lips. Darkness was never a friend of hers. The monsters lurked there and fear becomes palpable by it. She lunges for the closest door, afraid of the sounds that start in the silence of the room. The thunder is a welcome distraction to the growls her mind creates. She needs to escape. The door is in front of her, she sees it in the flash of lightning that lights up the living room area and she dashes for it, cussing sharply as her shin collides with the coffee table and she feels the blooming heat of blood trickle down her calf. She doesn't care, it's why she rips the door open quickly and dashes out into the hallway. Her chest rises and falls then, relief washing over her for a moment as realization settles. She's not alone here. In fact, the man across the hall was staring at her. Rylan reaches up, runs a hand through wavy locks of brunette hair and offers her best attempt at a fake smile. "Some storm, huh?" She ignores the fact that her voice is a little shaky still, hoping he doesn't ask questions. "Power out in your unit too? I was just getting ready to make some food and coffee. Haven't really ate anything all day."

[my100hiraeth]

[circellondon-blog]

❣

Send ❣ to kiss my muse at midnight,  💞for my muse to kiss yours || accepting

He’d invited her to the party and while she wasn’t entirely sure it had been a legitimate invitation- they both knew she was hardly a party person- she had decided to go. She liked spending time with Sebastian, and she didn’t think it would be the worst thing to meet his friends, meet people outside her own limited work circles… and part of her just wanted to be near him, wanted him near to her rather than away from her and partying with other people she didn’t know and couldn’t picture. 

It was a possessiveness she had no right to, she knew that. But that didn’t stop the creeping, suffocating feeling from inching up her throat until she found herself dressing nicer than she normally did, dressing worthy of a party, and making sure her face and hair were presentable as well before leaving and calling a car to take her to the address he’d given her. 

She followed the sounds of the party before she’d even needed to start looking at condo numbers, and the door was open, people having spilled out into the hall to leave room for movement in the home. She slipped through the crowd, looking for the man she’d come to see, but she couldn’t find him. He should be easy to find, his sheer height made him an easy target in a crowd, but she couldn’t spot him, and the noise and the crowds and the people and the bumping were making her anxiety spike and she felt her heart start to stutter. She needed to find Sebastian, she’d be alright if she could just find him, if she had his hand on her shoulder. But he was nowhere to be seen and she stumbled her way through the crowd to the open balcony door, gulping in the fresh air. It wasn’t uncrowded on the terrace, per say, but it was less crowded, and she could at least breath as she scanned what she could see of the indoor crowd for her Sebastian. 

Her eyes drifted closed, trying to calm her prickling skin and racing pulse, and before she’d even opened her eyes again, a blessedly familiar voice was in front of her, making her eyes fly open, relief etched across her features. 

Hey dollface. You came. He sounded surprised, and she felt a blush creep onto her cheeks, starting high on her cheekbones and crawling down her neck as green-blue eyes took her in. “I did, I hope that was alright.” Her voice was a little breathless, her body still recovering from the anxiety of not being able to find him, but her expression was relieved, nervous, content, all at once. 

He chuckled, stepping closer. I wouldn’t have invited you if I didn’t want you to come. He pointed out, worsening her blush as she nodded in agreement. “Oh, of course, I’m- sorry.” 

He reached out to wind a lock of hair around his finger for a split second before dropping it. Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you came. 

“I wanted to see you.” She said with a small shrug, a sweet smile, and that damnable blush, eyes up on him from under dark lashes. 

I always want to see you. He said softly, eyes running over her features. She rose up on her tiptoes, and he didn’t wait for a second invitation despite the crowd around them, and bent down to press his lips to hers, letting his hand brush back into her hair as her own skimmed over his chest. Happy New Years, Cers. He whispered when they pulled back, and she smiled cheekily. 

“I think we- what’s the phrase? Jumped the gun a bit, on that.” 

[weofthe100a]

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018) dir. Susan Johnson

[griimarch]

@deathvisited​ asked; 📜

Sebastian : Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment! Gemma: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

[thewholecrew]

@deathvisited said:  ❛  don’t look at them, why are you looking at them? look at me. they’re not going to help you.  ❜ --- seb to alex 

     large blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears as his jaw was gripped tightly and his head was turned away from the two tired out boys curled up in bed to look awkwardly up at sebastian who knelt behind him. rykard and caleb never seemed to recouperate quite as much nor as fast as alec did. at least not when they were all together. but it wasn’t often he was allowed to join their fun either, yet kassy had encouraged him to go if they all agreed and consented. this always had alec holding his breath to see if sebastian would approve. rykard and caleb had always welcomed him with open arms which surprised him immensely since they all seemed so tightly knit, yet it always filled alec with uncertainty when it came to sebastian. some days the man hated him, others he was completely indifferent and pretended he didn’t even exist and now, more recently he’d seemed to have extended a small olive branch of sorts ever since rykard and caleb had seemed to be a little more permanent in his life.

     a whimper drew out into a muffled moan as sebastians fingers slide from his jaw to his throat, a wheezed “sorry sir,” escaped as they squeezed. his lashes fluttered shut as a dizzy pleasure filled him and a shudder wracked his small frame. he hadn’t quite been looking at them for help as much as admiring the two sleeping boys but he didn’t argue, had no reason to, especially with sebastian. alec was far more similar to caleb than rykard in that sense, an good obedient pet rather than a brat that needed to be tamed and put in his place. both had their uses and tonight sebastian needed him the way he was, to be used and be grateful for it. 

     and alec was that. grateful. some would find their dynamic twisted but alec knew his boundaries, knew how much he was capable of taking. a few bruises and a very thorough and hard pounding was not something he couldn’t handle, couldn’t immensely enjoy even if it wasn’t his pleasure the session was focused on. another strangled moan escaped him before he gasped for air as sebastian gave him a moment to breathe. lashes fluttered once again, eyes closing in a moment of intense pleasure while his limbs trembling as they threatened to give out on him. ‘eyes open, and on me. only me. tonight you’re mine.’ he ordered as sebastians hand splayed across his chest to toy with and help support him up on his knees. alec gave another soft whimper but forced himself to look up to meet those icy sea green eyes. his own were cloudy and pleasure laden. he knew sebastian was just now truly starting and they had a long night ahead of them and it sent a thrilling chill down his delicately arched spine. a dazed smile blossomed across alecs lips, tears streaking down his cheeks as he murmured softly, “yes sir, i’m all yours.”

[thewholecrew]

@deathvisited: trinity & sebastian. / verse: lioness.

she couldn't go through this again, not the thought of her surviving another car crash for the person she was closest to in her life to die. it had been one of the main reasons she hadn't listened to the doctors and snuck out of bed. she was so beyond relieved when she could see him, touch him, hold him and he was awake, alive. but he was injured more severely than she was, his arm in a cast, his chest patched up, the cuts and brusing across his face and any of the skin she could see. tears streaked her cheeks both in relief and sorrow, especially when he began to cry too.

trinity never thought she would ever witness him like this, this vulnerable enough with her to cry but she didn't blame him. they'd been through something awful, something unexpected, something that unless he could see into the future he couldn't've prevented. her heart raced in her chest as she cradled him against her chest, pressing gentle kisses to his hair. as his arms wrapped around her, she nuzzled lightly against his head, a hand stroking his cheek, careful not to touch any of the cuts. it broke her heart to hear him beg her not to leave and she promised him, reassured him she wasn't going anywhere. that the nurses and doctors would have to come in here and pry her from him.

"i'm glad you're okay too," she replied, her own voice thick with emotion, shaky as she let out a soft breath. she hadn't even been able to see her best friend when she died. she also hadn't the balls to get up out of her bed to find her, something she had regretted even if she hadn't made it and it was something she refused to do again. she clung to him just about as tightly as he did her, the two inseparable in this moment. she felt him begin to cry harder and she didn't release her hold on him for one moment, eyes falling closed as tears pooled in her own eyes, feeling his pain whether she knew just why he was crying or not. she said nothing, just held him securely to her as she let him get it out.

when he seemed to settle her hand resumed it's tender caressing along his skin, biting her lip as she sniffled too. if she had to spend another moment in her own hospital room alone she perhaps would have broken down like him too and when he finally spoke she shook her head, his apology not needed but she said nothing as he continued. dark, doe eyes widened at his confession, heart squeezing tight in her chest as tears stung her eyes. it was so silly for her to feel so emotional all because he said he was worried about her but to think that was why he had been crying? she knew he cared about her but to this extent? to the fear of losing her and for all that would be different now because of it. "oh sebastian..." she whispered, "you won't lose me, i promise, no matter what happens next..." and if she thought about it, the thought of losing him too would honestly crush her.

her heart was racing in her chest as it urged her to confess to him, to tell him she loved him and that she would always love him. that whether he was injured or her bodyguard or not, she wanted him in her life. "you saved me," she told him instead. though not just because he had thrown himself to cover her when the crash happened, but just in general. her life had been miserable for years and he helped her slowly break away from it, grow her confidence, enjoy her hobbies, just live her life without feeling like a burden or that she's being harshly judged. to protect her from bad people who only wanted to hurt her or see others hurt.

"everything is going to be alright," she promised. leaning back a little, trinity carefully cupped his cheeks, doe eyes shimmering with tears as she leaned in to kiss him. still too afraid to tell him she loved him, she would instead show him. but not only with the kiss that was soft, tender, but she would show him by her loyalty, by not leaving him. she didn't want him to get fired, she didn't want people to know but she couldn't leave him.

@thewholecrew ---- lioness verse

he'd woken up in pain and confusion, fear and his fighting instinct in full force as he'd flailed and fought against the medical staff that were trying to help him. he'd been knocked out in the crash, apparently, and his first instinct was always to fight. they'd restrained him after he'd flung a doctor across the room before pumping him full of drugs to put him back to sleep while they assessed his injuries. broken ribs, fractured forearm, concussion, and more cuts and bruises than he could count. they hadn't let him off the drugs since he'd woken up because of the pain and every time he'd told them he didn't want them they'd ignored him. he'd asked after trinity when they were dosing him and they'd said she was fine and resting.

he was awake now and trying to fight against the drugs that always fucked with his head, they made him think of too many bad times in the hospital honestly. the time he'd been there when he'd been a kid and he'd ended up killing his dad after getting beaten against the wall by him, but at least his mom had survived. he'd been alone then too. the time he'd gotten hit by friendly fire when he'd been on a training exercise that turned to the real thing when he'd first joined up in the military. alone again then as well. there had been too many times over the years where he was alone in the hospital and stuck in place immobilized and unable to escape the clawing feeling that choked him.

the soft touch of a hand against his own, and her quiet voice had his eyes opening, a soft wonder filling his own eyes as he squeezed her hand gently. her beautiful face had cuts and scratches on it but she looked fine honestly. relief swept through him, he thought they'd been lying. she looked so scared and so he tried to smile, which was painful honestly. "m'okay," he whispered, because his throat was dry, his head was spinning and he was just so relieved to see her. he closed his eyes as tears gathered in them, feeling the dip of the bed as she climbed on beside him. it had been so long since he'd had anyone come visit him in the hospital, not even his team could usually come because it'd break his cover and for her to come here.....

he cuddled in against her, his arms wrapping around her waist as she hugged around his head, tears gathering in his lashes as he hid his face against her body. she still smelled like herself and it was reassuring and relieving to have a slice of normal when the entire world felt disjointed and off balance from the crash. it had all happened so fast and he could just remember shielding her as the car spun and then down was up and up was down.... "i'm so glad you're okay," he whispered the words against her, his throat choked as his arms tightened around her. tears trailed down from his eyes as he hugged her and shifted, trying to hide what was happening, it was just all so overwhelming. "please don't leave," he mumbled, arms tightening, he didn't want to be alone again.

he was always alone and with trinity he'd found someone he didn't have to be alone with... he didn't want to be alone again. his words didn't make the most amount of sense as he got her to promise not to leave, that she'd stay regardless of what happened. none of it was a fair request when he knew he was here under false pretenses but his mind wasn't working and all he felt was the despair and horror of being left again and again to his own devices when he was hurt and injured. "thank you, thank you," he was crying and if she'd asked him why he wouldn't have been able to explain it.

what he was doing was wrong, he was using her to get close to her father and she loved him, that was obvious, but he was crying because he didn't deserve for her to be here. if she knew the truth she'd have smacked him and spit on him, she'd have left him alone here in the hospital room, she'd have hoped he'd died in the crash and now.... he cried harder as he clung to her, all the grief he knew was coming and wouldn't allow himself to feel when the time came because he didn't ever let himself properly experience his emotions but with the drugs unlocking all his fears for the future and how fucking scared he'd been about her being hurt... it was a release and eventually his tears came to a slow halt and he was left cradled in her arms, his eyes red from crying, his heart aching, and the drugs buzzing through his system as he held her.

"i'm sorry," he mumbled the words quietly as he held onto her, his voice still rough. "i was just so worried about you, and everything that's gonna come from this....." less freedom, less trust, less ability for them to be alone and honestly he'd come to crave those times. the times of normality where they just were able to chill and watch tv and let their hands and minds wander wherever they chose. he loved those times with her and he knew he'd lose them sooner than later and that scared him. he didn't want to lose her. "i can't imagine losing you," he whispered, voice quiet and small because he knew it was inevitable at this point, it was just a matter of when.

[headstrongblake]

“  i know you’re mad at me right now,  but i’m the one who’s here.  let me be here.  let me help.  you can be angry later.  ” —— seb / @deathvisited

there have been a lot of tragedies octavia has witnessed in life. growing up. in her research. in her job. it's practically unavoidable, although some would argue octavia doesn't exactly try very hard to. but in the little neighbourhood she'd been housed on different occasions whilst, in this city, there had never been even a hint of wrongdoing. just hard working families. beautiful families octavia had taken photos of and spent time with. truly immersing herself with them as she stayed in a tiny flat above a little beading store. a little girl lived there with two brothers and her parents & being around them, made octavia miss her brother a little less. here, she'd always felt like somehow they were a little corner of the world untouched by all the horrors she saw at night. that was...until she came back a fifth time. staying within the military base while being stationed with sebastion's team.

octavia had gone back to the neighbourhood to visit, enjoying a warm and breezy day with crowds gathered at one of the popup markets. but too quickly chaos ensued. shots ringing out. homes being set ablaze. without rational thought, octavia was sent running in the opposite direction of safety. rushing through crowds, pushing through the majority of people who fled further into the city to get to the shop below her old flat. panic spread throughout her body as the sound of her heartbeat muffled the screams around her. she had to make it to them. had to find the family. but when she'd come to the beading store...it was entirely engulfed in flames.

fire and the smell of burning flesh were all octavia could really focus on when sebastian entered her quarters. instead of going to medical to look after the burn on her arm and hand like she'd been instructed to, octavia had retreated to her space, mind still back in the burning buildings. "i know you're mad at me right now, but i'm the one who's here." emerald hues blinked, teeth sinking into her bottom lip as he spoke. he's right. she's furious with him because maybe if he hadn't shown up in the neighbourhood with his team...maybe if he had left her be instead of pulling her out of the building fire she would've got to them. could have saved them instead of burning her hand on the mother's charred skin.

"let me be here. let me help you. you can be angry later." as he moved into the space, octavia didn't retreat from him or avoid his help, just sat there, shaking her head. "i'm fine," she insisted, the shock of this afternoon events keeping her from feeling the full effect of her burns. but the longer she stared at him, the louder those flames sounded in her mind. the louder the scream rang. "you shouldn't have done that...i was..." her head shook as she stood, moving a few steps towards him. "i was right there," she swore she could hear the family in the fire. alive still, despite what another member of his team had said. "you shouldn't have done that!" she snapped, hands pushing on his chest only to hiss, recoiling her burned palm to her chest. "go away sebastian..."

[tootiredtm]

“ there’s one option, where this all goes away. ”

✧   /    - ̗̀    RANDOM MEME    ̖́-    /   always accepting   /  @deathvisited : sebastian.

        kassy glared at sebastian, arms crossed in a sharp huff over her chest, “ and just what is that option, sebastian? hm? taking off your ring and hoping you burn up in the goddamn sun? ” her eyes were dark, anger hiding the deep hurt of his actions. he couldn’t really think that anyone would prefer if he just died, could he? that not only would grant be devastated but also kassy? that it would destroy her? that if he had, everything she had been doing had been for nothing? that she had wasted all her time trying to find a cure when she should have been spending every last second with him instead? she couldn’t look at him, and it was clear he couldn’t look at her either, tears blurred her vision as she tried to keep her breathing slow.          she didn’t want to be angry at him, she could only imagine the turmoil going on in his own head but she was confused, she thought things were slowly getting back to normal -- she wasn’t naïve enough to think they would ever go completely back to normal but that a new normal was forming, that he was controlling his thirst, that he had grant and while her and aiden worked hard to get and mix ingrediencies in order to make a cure. exhaling shakily, a hand raised to wipe away the pesky tears, “ that isn’t the only option, sebby... ” she answered now much softer, the anger trampled out like a light, nothing left but the intense sorrow she felt.         “ i didn’t realize you were in so much pain... ” she whispered, gazing over at him, wanting nothing more than to comfort him as she always had. “ i’m sorry, ” kassy added, because she was -- sorry that this had happened to him, that he had been turned against his will, that he thought he was an irredeemable monster who deserved to die more than he deserved to be saved. “ but i promise you, we will find this cure... all you have to do is hang in here a little longer... ” stepping closer hesitantly, not because she was afraid of him -- kassy could never be afraid of him, but because she wasn’t sure if he wanted her to. holding her hand out for him to take, dark eyes shined, glossy with unshed tears and smoldering hope, “ please. please, sebby i don’t want to lose you... ”

[my100hiraeth]

Random things for my OT3 1/?  ft. Grant Ward, Sebastian Morrow, and Circe London ( xx )

[circellondon-blog]

💞

Send ❣ to kiss my muse at midnight,  💞for my muse to kiss yours || accepting

She hadn’t wanted to invite him to her home, unsure he was comfortable enough with her to accept such an invitation, but she’d poked around to see if he’d had plans, and when he mentioned he didn’t, she’d asked if he wanted to join her. Louis had invited Verity to celebrate with him, and Circe had nudged the girl to join him- she for whatever reason genuinely liked the fighty, flirty redheaded boy, and he seemed taken with her. She would never demand her best friend not enjoy her night just to relax with Circe at home, as had been her plans before deciding to try to lure Sebastian to spend his celebration with her.

They ended up at her bakery, a small television on in the back so they could listen to the countdown as she brought out a cake she’d made the day before, decorated with the sugar pearls he’d admired, done in white and gold and black and with ‘2019′ in script across the top. She’d presented it to him with a grinning flourish, asking if he wanted to taste test it with her, and they’d both dug in, talking about everything and nothing and watching people be ridiculous and drunken on national television just for their 15 seconds of fame. 

Until finally it was the countdown. He’d grown more shy and unsure as the countdown drew closer to zero, and she wondered if he was nervous about the idea of the ‘new years kiss’ tradition. If perhaps he didn’t want to kiss her, or want her to kiss him. She wouldn’t press him, of course... but there was another possibility; that he wanted to kiss her, but wasn’t sure enough to make the move. She’d had the hint that he may like her a couple times when they spent time together, and as the countdown fell to zero, she tapped his shoulder to draw him down to her level, and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his cheek. “Happy New Years, Sebastian.” She whispered.