thewholecrew

[thewholecrew]

[thewholecrew]

VERONICA MARS | 1.20

[thewholecrew]

Hey you, are you okay now?

[thewholecrew]

@headstrongblake said: “you were never going to understand!” trinity & octavia, all american

"understand what?! that i was just a rebound?! that you were just waiting for him to come back so you could leave me?! no, you're right, i don't understand. after hearing about him? what he did to you, to all of your friends?! i don't understand why you could just ditch me like some toy you were done playing with and go right back to him!!" she yelled back as she gathered her things from octavia's home. this had been the last straw, after she constantly tried to reassure her that nothing was going on with her ex yet still missing out on every single plan they had made since he had returned just about, and if not being completely distracted and detached from her, trinity had enough.

"you know what? whatever, you two deserve each other!" she spouted as angry tears spilled down her cheeks. how could she have been so stupid? to think that octavia ever liked her even close to as much as she had fallen for her? she told her it was just fun, just lighthearted and while trinity had accepted that on the surface she didn't think she would end up competing for her again her ex. didn't think octavia would completely fall off the radar like that the moment he returned. so she was lashing out because she was hurt, angry and heartbroken. "don't call me," she then demanded as she yanked her coat from the hook and slammed the door behind her.

[thewholecrew]

@headstrongblake: grant & octavia. / verse: all american.

he bit back the rest of his apology at her demand, looking down at the tightening grip around her gun. he understood that his apology would mean nothing, that it was most likely just salt on the wound he had caused her and everyone around him. for her to accuse him of doing it again in the future, though it speared him through the heart he couldn't even fault her because how was she supposed to believe him? did he even believe himself? he didn't want to hurt her, but in the end if it came to saving her life and she hated him he would do it, he knew he would. grant slowly nodded in a defeated manner at that as he bit back an apology for doing just that.

when the gun dropped to her lap he looked up and over at her, guilt eating him alive as he watched the anguish and anger ripple across her expression despite as hard as he assumed she tried not to show him. he waited as she processed what he had told her before she seemed to twist what he said into it being he hadn't trusted her. "no," he interjected, "it wasn't you i didn't trust, octavia, it was him." he urged her to see his side, that he didn't feel as if there was anywhere that was safe enough to tell her what he wanted to do, what the plan was. "garrett, he had been in your dorm, he had been at the church, he followed us for months without me knowing --- who was to say he didn't bug every single room we would enter? our phones, everything. i had to play it through, octavia i had to," his voice matched her shakiness as desperation seeped into his tone.

his mouth felt dry, his throat aching as he tried to swallow the lump in it as she asked him how long. how long had he known? "octavia..." he almost begged, shaking his head in a slow manner as once again his eyes refused to meet hers. "yes..." he admitted shamefully, "i knew the moment he took nick..." there was nothing more he could say was there? everything from the moment nick was back in safe hands, grant had already put the plan in motion. he had a part to play and boy if he had been good at anything in his years growing up it was playing a part. for his family's good image, for his brother thomas, for garrett...

@thewholecrew: grant & octavia. / verse: all american.

i lied. grant's admission feels like her entire world shattered and snapped back into focus simultaneously, causing a hurricane of emotions to flourish inside. but she did her best to focus her emotions into her grip, tightening around her gun as she steeled herself against grant. all of it, what he says, makes sense, and none of it does as what she's known and tried to believe and what she felt rattle around inside of her while he admits to trying to protect her. protect nick and everyone. that he was doing this for them. her grip coiled tighter, jaw clenching despite the harsh scoff that escaped her as she watched him unable to even look at her while he spoke.

as grant's confession came to a halt, his voice cracking with his apology octavia shook her head, "don't. don't apologize..." she said, lifting her shoulders in a defeated shrug. after thinking she had known grant more than possibly anyone else, she hated coming to this place of acceptance that he hurts her. over and over again. he leaves. he lies. "don't apologize for what you know you'll do again. just don't." at that, she tore her gaze from him, shaking her head as she lowered her gun completely before staring out the front window. "you..." her head shook, venom strangling her words with his information.

"even if i could believe what you're saying right now..." somehow, this almost felt worse. suddenly, she felt the overwhelming need to escape this truck. get as far away from grant as possible before her emotions explode. why had she locked them in here? what the fuck had she expected out of this? everything he tells her simply brings new damming questions that whirl around inside of her and new hurt to look through. garrett's dead. great, that's all she needs to know. now she could get back to nathan and her night is what she tells herself. but for some ungodly unknown reason she remained beside grant as all his words began to sink in. "what you're saying is...you didn't trust me. you knew...you had this grand fucking plan and you didn't trust me enough to tell me?" her hardened gaze turned back to him, brows knitted together with outrage.

"no, so you left. you ran—" octavia bit her tongue, shaking her head once more as she fought to keep her composure. did he not understand what she could've done to keep nick away if she had known the truth? did he not understand the broken heart and endless torment he could have saved her if he had trusted her? "i can’t breathe," she muttered to herself, scooting herself back in the passenger seat as she held tightly to her weapon. "when did you know?" she asked sharply, hues shooting back to him, "did you know you were going to kill him when we caught up with you? hmm? what about when i called you...when..." her voice shook, unable to repeat any of the words she'd told him months ago about loving him. "how about when you came to my dorm and broke my fucking heart...did you know then?"

[thewholecrew]

But if somehow I had a second chance at that moment…

[thewholecrew]

emori: i’ve had it up to HERE with these two fighting

[thewholecrew]

[thewholecrew]

@headstrongblake: kassy & octavia. / verse: all american.

when octavia admitted she had only taken one and when it had said yes it was enough to freak her out kassy could understand, in her mind pregnancy was something so far from what she wanted that even if she thought she would take multiple tests herself if that were to happen, she wasn't truly sure what her first plan of action would be or if she would even manage to do a thing about it other than first having a complete mental breakdown. even thinking about being in octavia's position had her heart race with fear and she nodded vigorously in agreement to her best friends explanation, "no—no, you're right, that makes sense because shit..." taking in a deep breath she reached out to take octavia's hands in her own, squeezing them both for her own sake and for o's, "i'm here for you," she reassured, glad that octavia came to her but also feeling so far out of her comfort zone she almost felt guilty.

as her best friend rambled on kassy couldn't help but nod in agreement despite her best efforts. she knew octavia wasn't stupid, that things had been so hectic over the past couple of months and only now had it felt like everything was finally calming down but.. "dammit o," she couldn't help say with an attempted lighthearted sigh, she shook her head, hands squeezing hers once again. "i get it," kassy then added with an understanding look in her eyes, "accidents happen." as she spoke, kassy tried her best to calm her own racing heart, but what if octavia really was pregnant? what if she wanted to keep the baby? everything would change and kassy wasn't ready for that, selfishly she didn't want that. so how could octavia possibly be ready?

"i really wish i knew what to do to help you, do... do you think you're going to tell grant? do you think..." she trailed off as she released one of octavias hands to bite at her nails nervously. "i'm sorry o, this... this... i know this probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but bitch i'm freaking out too," she couldn't help but admit apologetically. "i think if anything you have to... to find out if you're 100% pregnant, tests can sometimes be inaccurate right? so... maybe that..."

@thewholecrew: kassy & octavia. | all american universe.

once kassy joined her on the bed, octavia swallowed thickly, listening to her question as she chewed on her bottom lip. she nodded along. yeah, she’s late, she’s moody, and lately, she’s been feeling sick all the time. but when kassy mentioned multiple tests, her stomach clenched tightly as she cursed herself internally, her face scrunching together with distress. "well…fuck, no,” she admitted. the second she’d seen the positive sign, intense fear took over. all thoughts of rationality left except the idea of becoming the only kind of mother she’s ever known. if it weren’t about a baby…her brother might’ve been the first person she’d run to, but instead, octavia rushed through traffic in desperate need of her best friend.

quietly, octavia sat up beside kassy, crossing her legs as she too reached for one of her best friend’s many pillows. “i don’t know kass, i took one, and it said yes…but then fuck, kassy i couldn’t think, or process, or understand or even breathe and then i wound up here cause i just really needed you.” she rushed out as her heart thumped rapidly in her chest, head shaking as she tried to comprehend the situation she possibly found herself in.

despite the shakiness she felt, even considering the idea that there was a chance she was pregnant right now, she forced herself to take a few deep breaths, bracing herself with kassy’s pillow as she listened. emerald hues cautiously peeked through pieces of her hair, heart sinking at how uncomfortable her best friend appeared to be. her intentions were never to upset her, but she nodded understandingly as kassy shared her discomfort with her. “no, you’re totally right,” she agreed. there were options out there if she were pregnant and were to decide she couldn’t be, but right now, she was barely comprehending the fact she might be pregnant, let alone what she would do if she was.

“this…was basically the last thing on my mind. i’ve never really given much thought to having kids…fuck, im so stupid kass, and irresponsible, my body’s been so out of whack since the surgery and getting clean and i just….” octavia exhaled exasperatedly, fear prickling up her spine again. “i guess i haven’t been the most careful but i swear i thought i was being careful with my birth control…”

[thewholecrew]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER | S5E12: Checkpoint

[thewholecrew]

Countdown || Blurred Edges (1.05)

[thewholecrew]

@headstrongblake: trinity & nick. / verse: hunter vs hunted.

there was a part of her that hoped nick would take her snappy answer and move on, give her time alone but no, that never really happened she knew that now. when he sat down beside her, she hugged her knees tighter to her chest, her shoulder length hair curtaining her face to hide it from him as she watched the three with a deep pang in her chest. when he finally spoke she had the urge to glare at him, to tell him to stop because nothing would be the same as this, but she couldn't even bring herself to speak. so, shifting her head slightly, she looked down at her hands fidgeting with a stray string from her pants and listened somewhat begrudgingly.

she knew nick had always seen the more realistic side of this mission, so what could he offer her that was positive? that wasn't just uplifting platitudes for her sake? but then he began speaking of his time in the military and with his daughter, and her expression softened a touch. she picked the skin around her nails, tugging at a dry hangnail as he explained how such experiences change a person. she knew that, she knew that octavia wouldn't be the same -- after seeing that recording of her torture, trinity couldn't even begin to piece together what might be left of the girl she knew in school.

and for nick to tell her that there had been times where he'd prefer the chaos and terror of a warzone? it broke her heart to think that octavia wanted to be anywhere else than with her brother, with trin. she chewed at her bottom lip, sad doe eyes shimmering as she shook her head. "it's not fair..." she replied in a quiet voice, "it's not fair that she has to... has to get used to feeling safe again. it makes me so angry... and... i just wish.." she trailed off, anger and the empathetic agony of what her girlfriend went through caused her brows to furrow and a grimace to mar her face. trin looked down at his hand on her knee, wondering what it felt like. she knew people touched one another like this to comfort and yet she only knew he touched her because she witnessed it.

"i wish there was more i could do..." and she wished that octavia would look at her like she used to. she knew it was a selfish want, that it was impossible to expect it yet her heart yearned for it so desperately. she was miserable, nearly as miserable as she had been looking for octavia. now she was here, she was safe, she was home but she was sitting with people trinity didn't know, trusting them more than her. than her own brother. it killed her. "i'm a bad person aren't i? for making this about me?" she asked in a quiet sniffled voice.

@thewholecrew: trinity & nick. / verse: hunter vs hunted

a gentle scoff left him as trinity fired back with her typical snark. though, he can't say he had actually expected it. this girl is all trinity's talked about for the better part of a year, and yet, they seemed just as distant. he waits for a moment, cocking his head to the side as his hand lifted to stroke his beard, catching a glance of alec and octavia huddle close to each other, talking while the man kassy went after lingered nearby. his brows furrowed, but eventually, he took a seat beside trinity, patiently waiting for her to come back at him with anything else. and when she does, sympathy leaked into the blue of his eyes as she made herself smaller on the couch. silently, nick nodded with understanding. of course everything was different. after what he'd seen on those tapes, nick nearly shuddered while watching trinity, digging somewhere deep inside to find something that might offer her some comfort.

"listen, i'm not gonna pretend it's the same or anythin' but when i was in the military with blake..." nick heaved a sigh as he sat forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looked past trinity for a single moment, taking in the image she saw of the other three. "when i'd deploy with my guys back when lilah was a baby, i dunno trin, there's something 'bout fighting for your life, knowing you're doing it with your team watching your back that alters something in ya and when i got back..." nick's tongue clicked against his teeth as he sat back, crystal hues taking in trinity's sad doe eyes.

"y'know sim was a new mom, trying to figure out how do that while i waltzed in and shit, i was safe, no one out there trying to hunt me down but there were a lot of times where i didn't know how to let her help me. times i didn't want her near me cause i didn't know how to be the person i was. there were days i'd wake up and wish i was back in that war zone because it became familiar to me. the chaos, the fear, the adrenaline, my squad...that became safe." though he didn't know if anything he said to try to relate was helpful, he tried because this sadness in trinity seems different now. "eventually y'know, i settled back in...i remembered where home was." nick reached out to rest his hand on the top of her knee in a comforting manner. "she will too."

[thewholecrew]

Iris + sitting on Barry's lap

[thewholecrew]

ONE TREE HILL MEMORABLE SCENES → 2.08 “Truth, Bitter Truth” (November 9, 2004, dir. Billy Dickson)

[thewholecrew]

@headstrongblake: grant & octavia. / verse: all american.

     his heart squeezed tightly in his chest as emotion wracked silently through him at her response, gaze sparkling as he looked up in the darkly lit room. an almost pained laugh escaped him at her teasing, thinking about how that really had happened for him, and for nick. swallowing thickly, he gave a soft bemused breath, still unable to comprehend that maybe he really had found a family here with them. how he wished they had all been able to meet buddy, he knew he would have loved octavia. "it's a better ending," he repeated, agreeing with her as he offered her a similar smile.

     as she shuddered, his arms once again tightened around her, trying not to crush her but to secure her, to hold her close while she suffered. grant wished he could do more, every time he'd hear her groan, he'd feel her shift in pain, he felt helpless. if staying here with her was the only thing he could do then he would. he would try to take on her pain, ride through it with her and make sure she didn't have to go through it alone. he looked down at her as she stuttered out what she wanted, what he wanted too. "we're all going to be okay," he promised despite feeling as though it was a lie. if that was what she needed to hear then he would force himself to believe it so she wouldn't have any chance to doubt.

     lightly, his hand smoothed along her back as she groaned in pain in any attempt to ease it, to relieve it or have a comforting touch compete with the withdrawal. as she clung tighter to him, grant gently pressed his forehead to her damp hair, another frail smile tugging at his lips as she asked for another story. another quiet, pained laugh left him, "i won't hold you to that," he reassured as she pressed herself against him as if to try to stave off the waves of pain. he didn't quite have another story, but he would make one up at her request.

     "i have another one for you," he half lied, putting it together in his head quickly. "this one is about a brave young girl.... this girl had always wanted to go out and adventure but her family always told her it wasn't safe, that she was to stay home and stay where nothing could hurt her.... but little did they know that by doing so was hurting her, she would watch her brothers train to fight monsters, go travelling and bring back presents from far away lands, places she wished she could go..." as he spoke, his hand continued its soothing motion before fingers played with the ends of her hair. "one day her brothers didn't come home when they should have, a day went by, and another and she hated waiting when they could be in trouble... then one night her best friend had helped create a diversion for her to take her horse and finally ride off to find them..."

@thewholecrew: grant & octavia || all american universe

"most definitely,” octavia countered to grant’s quiet maybe. in spite of the tragic world they found themselves living in, octavia believed in the good. finding no other comfort as strong as believing that even those who’d done wrong, and especially those who hadn’t deserved more than the sad lives they were born into. “in my head, buddy and the prince found a real family, kinda like nick and you, it’s a better ending anyways,” she teased gently, her half smile, however, falling short of the bright one octavia’s known to offer.

octavia shuddered against grant, silently nodding her head against him as he agreed to stay, promising she wouldn’t be alone. a swell of sad emotions welled in her heart at his promise because, despite his promise and all her friend’s efforts, she always felt lonely without her brother. nothing could come close to replacing the ache in her heart for bellamy. without him, her life goes off course, feeding that empty space in her soul where her big brother should be. it’s no wonder why she’d easily been wrapped up in an oxy embrace after she’d broken her collarbone in care. the blissful high. the euphoric feel. it sent all the loneliness and her fears away. & ever since her brother’s gone away, the call to use has steadily grown louder.

as the muscle aches began to intensify, octavia forced her eyes closed, trying desperately to hold onto grant’s story like she did him as she tried to visualize it in her mind. trying to force away the sad image of her brother suffering in prison without her. “t-tell me we’re all g-going to be okay,” she stuttered as her breaths grew deeper in an attempt to hold in her groans of pain. her lashes fluttered against her watery gaze, though she didn’t dare to glance up at grant this time, just stared into nothing while the cramps twisted her insides again and again. fuck, she needed more pills.

her teeth gritted together, unable to stifle her groans of suffering as her fingers coiled around grants shirt, bunching it as she tightly clenched her fist. “g-got anymore s-s-stories?” she asked pitifully for another tale to perhaps fall asleep to. “i’ll be a quiet listener this t-time.” octavia attempted another small tease, though she turned her face, pressing her forehead into grant while the aches spread.

[thewholecrew]

Casey Deidrick in Homesick (2019―)

[thewholecrew]

@headstrongblake: the whole crew & nick. / verse: all american.

     she's gonna be okay, the doc's are optimistic. "she fucking better be," was what nicklas was left with as the line went dead. better to throw the guilt he felt of not being there onto nick or whoever else was around than to let that crushing reality cause him to crumble. he needed to be there for octavia now, he needed to be strong for her. he could crumble another time.

     the firm hand that came down on his shoulder caused grant to flinch, having not noticed nick returning to them as he'd been far too distracted looking down at his hands. blinking to try and clear his head, he glanced over at nick, taking a moment to process what it was that had even been said. as nick explained that bellamy was on the way, grant swallowed, feeling as if his throat was coated with razor blades and he gave a slow nod. "i have to tell him..." he uttered, suppressing a shudder. grant had learned what bellamy was capable of the last time he had put his sister in danger, had ruined their business. a small part of him was looking forward to the pain that might be given to him, believing so deeply that he deserved it. this was his fault. had he not gone snooping, not confronted octavia about what he had found then perhaps she wouldn't've been there.

     once again he had folded into his own mind, nick's words falling on deaf ears as grant mindlessly gave another small nod, watching numbly as his brother headed over towards kassy at the front desk. he couldn't hear what she was saying but he could hear the distress in her voice, see it radiating off her. kassy pressed her lips harshly together as she gave a vigorous shake of her head, "no, no, no, you don't understand—" her voice broke, blinking back tears as she looked up to stave them off. that was when she felt nick at her side, easily leaning into his comforting touch as she watched him try his hand at getting any information from the nurse.

     however, the information she did eventually give was anything but good news and only had kassy's lips tremble, her heart pounding in her chest as she forced her jaw to clench. shaking her head, tears spilled down her cheeks as she then looked to nick when the nurse left them standing there. "nick..." she couldn't help whimper out, "wh-what happened to her?" they had all been finally enjoying the last bit of their summer, healing cracks in friendships, laughing and having fun then— she knew nick probably knew about as much as she did since he had been with them at the time of the shooting but he had gone with grant and o to the hospital. "h-how did she look when they took her in?" she asked despite ever ounce of her being not wanting to truly know. if her best friend was in critical condition then his answer was sure to reflect that.

@thewholecrew: the whole crew & nick. / verse: all american.

nick struggled to force out how badly hurt octavia was tonight, the admission alone seemingly holding too much weight. too much power. as if once he said it out loud, he’d have to confront that fog he’d been operating in while grant worked to keep his sister alive. his sister. his…christ, he’s been so fucking stupid these past few months. blaming her. leaving her. hating her. his eyes closed tightly again, forcing the darkness to cover him as bellamy’s devastated anger came loudly against his ear. "i don’t know what happened, but i will–” nick cut himself off, eyes opening to the hospital wall as he shook his head. how the fuck could he not know what happened? how? how could this have happened? it’s been peaceful.

blake sounded like he was rushing now and nick knew it was only a matter of time before the call ended, “her stomach,” nick grimaced against the image of blood pooling around grant’s hand as he tried frantically to stop her bleeding. “..she’s, she’s with nurses and doctors now, best place she can be. hey blake, she’s gonna be okay, doc’s are optimistic.” he lied through his damn teeth. it’s a bold and idiotic move, but he doesn’t have it in himself to face the reality of octavia’s situation. he can’t.

swallowing harshly, nick pocketed his phone once bellamy ended their call, no doubt racing toward the hospital at this very moment. his hand rose, raking down over his face as he tried to pull himself back together. to prepare for what comes next. his shaking hands balled into fists at his side before he shoved them into his jacket, returning back the way he came to find grant. but when he did, there were the rest of them. alec and rev standing with grant, looking like a devastated ghost. clearing his throat, nick stepped forward, pulling his hand from his pocket to glasp down on grant’s shoulder once he reached him again. “anything?” he asked. though, his brother’s hopeless gaze said more than he could. “blake is on the way…he’s gonna want to know what happened.” nick said more pointedly, looking between rev, alec and grant before squeezing his brother’s shoulder. however, before nick voiced his questions, he heard kassy’s worried voice, and his head instantly snapped toward her at the nurse’s station. brows furrowed together, drawing his attention back to alec and rev, “stay with grant here, i’m going to see if there’s an update with kass.”

“young lady, i’m afraid there isn’t much more information i can tell you. our staff is working to stop your friend’s bleeding and from there the doctor will choose the best course of action.” nick walked up beside kassy just as the nurse finished her vague speech about octavia’s condition. “hey sweetheart,” nick murmured in acknowledgement before turning his attention to the nurse. “listen that’s my sister, and we appreciate all you are doing, but we need to know something. you look like you’ve worked here a long time, know the odds and all that, can you just…should we be worried?” he asked, his hand lowering to kassy’s back for comfort as the nurse’s exhausted features softened, giving them a sympathetic look. “your sister’s condition is critical, it’ll do her a world of wonder that she was brought here as quickly as she was, but, if the doctors can control the bleeding…she’ll need surgeries, blood transfusions, it’s a long road tonight.” the nurse was just about to tell them that if she were them, she’d get comfy in the waiting room when a code blue came over pa system. instead she stopped short, giving the two an intentional glance before, “please go wait,” was said over her shoulder as hospital staff rushed toward the doors octavia had gone through.