#deathswaywardson

[perotovar]

PEDRO PASCAL in “Hope” for Style Magazine | Part 1 for @deathswaywardson

[perotovar]

thank you @nicolethered for tagging me! <3

my 7 comfort movies are:

lord of the rings/the hobbit (literally any one of them)

the unbearable weight of massive talent

the breakfast club

heathers

prospect

scream

beetlejuice

no pressure tags: @kedsandtubesocks @swiftispunk @djo @userparamore @iamskyereads @heroeddiemunson @deathswaywardson

7 Comfort Films + 7 tags

Thank you for the tag @uselsshuman

Movies is all I am. Gonna love this💚💚💚

Here are my top 7 comfort films + 7 tags

Wall-E

Princess and the frog

Jurassic Park

Crooklyn

Pride and prejudice

Alien vs Predator

The Joy Club

No pressure tags: @idungoofed @mamajankyy @vibralumy @xblackreader @writeforfandoms @boliv-jenta @chicagosfinest2021

[wigglebox]

deathswaywardson replied to your post: right okay so i’m not going to put a spoiler...

Hey, just wanted to say thank you for posting these warnings. I’m really not looking forward to this ep for these very reasons. So, yeah. Thanks. :)

No problem. There is no buck to the bucklemming part so lemming just went off the deep end of torture here. it’s very frustrating. there are some good bits so far but the first five minutes were tought to watch (i’m afraid of drowning and small spaces!) 

[cuddlemonsterdean]

dwelling on mold || 13x05 coda. please check AO3 link for additional tags!

A couple miles down the road, Dean cranks up the heat. Sam shoots him a look. It's May; they don't need heating. Except, when you die, and you get send back, the cold lingers for a while. Dean's body knows he's been dead, like he's been dead a gazillion times over.

Some alpha male asshole with an overpriced Jeep is crowding too close to Baby. Dean signals, switches lanes, lets him pass. He's not driving slow exactly, but—ain't like there's anything to get back to.

His chest throbs.

Dean swallowed a painkiller dry before getting into the car, plus a little something extra to keep him awake. Sam is asleep already. At some point, Dean may hallucinate sheep again, but who the fuck cares. Sleep doesn't help. It's more cruel than anything, because it's never long enough, never deep enough, and the things he sees—and then he's got to get up again and it's just more of the same. Do the job, take care of Sam. Resist his stupid maternal urge that says take care of Jack too, while everything else in Dean screams no, not again. I can't. Stop pushing me.

AO3

[losthavenmine]

The Lost Boys (1987) - for @deathswaywardson

[jensensgotyoudean]

Happy Birthday!! Hope it's filled with all the Dean goodness! ❤️❤️❤️😊

Thank you! It is VERY full of Dean goodness today :D xo

[ghisborne]

Lucas, who is he?

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXXVIII

It was a love story from the very beginning

I Love You and Goodbye

(15x18)

Hi my friends! We are finally in episode 15x18 "Despair" or "The Truth". The episode in which Destiel went canon.

So, let's grab our napkins and let's start with this.

Remember this meta is a summary from my metas from season 15 with some new additions now that the show ended.

You can find my metas from 15x18 following these links: X, X and X.

The last Destiel mirrors

I want to start this meta summary with the last two destiel mirrors from episode 15x18. Both of them were foreshadowing the big lover separation at the end.

Charlie always mirrored Dean, so it's very interesting to hear her talking about how her relationship with Stevie started.

She mentioned she didn't want to try that love thing again, it's a parallel of Dean's past with Cassie earlier in the show. It started as a game could be also related to Dean first attempts of flirting with Castiel in season 4 and 5.

I'll go with you...

One of the most iconic Destiel quotes has to be recalled in this episode too. Loyalty, love and abnegation from Castiel to Dean.

Because I Love You (Romantically)

This whole description from the scene it had been taken from my meta, I want to transcript the whole analysis here just because the moment I wrote this I was still hoping Dea would rescue Castieo, and I was crying and laughing hysterically, so... I wanna share that to all of you:

This love confession was beautiful, and Castiel made it clear he was talking about ROMANTIC LOVE, because the whole prelude in his wordings were perfectly clear. There's not doubt he was confessing his romantic love for Dean. He even mention THE ONLY THING I CAN'T HAVE is the thing that will make him happy.

It's canon he was asking himself what happiness could be!!! It means CAS THOUGHT ABOUT HOW COULD IT BE TO HAVE DEAN NOT JUST AS A FRIEND!!!!

He says too FROM THE MOMENT HE TOOK THAT BURDEN! FROM THE MOMENT HE RESCUED DEAN FROM HELL!!!!!! 'It has always been you', Dean!'

I'm gonna stop here just a little to point out why the quote "IT HAS ALWAYS BENN YOU" said by Billie takes a huge significance in here. Because Dean is not just the centric problem of a Cosmic entity, like Death, but the centric topic in Castiel's confession.

The love confession from 15x18 was a recalling of the first Destiel scene in the barn. In which Castiel saw a broken soul, a man that thought he didn't deserved to be saved, and immediately he took that challenge in his arms. The challenge was to make Dean BELIEVE HE WAS WORTHY. That he deserved to be saved AND LOVED. That's why from this moment on, Dean will change the way he sees himself.

When Castiel says he understood HAPPINESS IS NOT ABOUT TO HAVE IT, BUT IT'S ABOUT TO SAY IT (FEEL IT) immediately after saying he couldn't have that thing (Dean) is marking to all the audience that knowing HE CAN'T HAVE DEAN, HE IS HAPPY JUST FEELING THAT LOVE FOR HIM. LOVONG HIM AS HE DOES IS WHAT MAKES CAS HAPPY, AND CONFESSING THAT LOVE TO DEAN, RELEASE HIM.

Because Death gave a speech that became a summary of all the villains through this show, Castiel is the one purifying each mean word by transforming them into Dean's virtues.

While naming Dean's sacrifices and protective behavior, and showing him HE DID IT FOR LOVE, Castiel is trying to make Dean to see himself as CAS sees him.

Love yourself, because you are precious, because I LOVE YOU. You are not a monster, you are all this good things I see on you.

Gif set credit @mugiwara-lucy

Castiel crying, loving Dean with all of his self, and Dean in shock (or silenced by the network and the writers).

All the foreshadows of Dean gagging, vomiting, swallowing, eating... all of that was for this moment here. Dean's silence. Dean eating his words, Dean being silenced.

We could try to find other explanation, or live forever inside Jackie's magnificent acting options (giving us that swallow and mouth shut, as if he was trying to speak... as if he was trying to reply to his angel...) but truth is... C*W and the writers silenced him.

And then Castiel was swallowed by black goo, again. And that was Misha's last apparition. The ultimate sacrifice for love. Again.

Castiel Love's confession word by word

I'm gonna talk about specifically of the Destiel scene. Word by word, as I wrote in the third meta on the top of this volumen, with some new additions.

“I always wondered, ever since I took that that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what...what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want...it's something I know I can't have."

It's canon now that Castiel was wondering what would it be to have Dean not just as a friend, but as a lover, and I'm.... Okay. (Internally screaming).

Pointed by @weird-dorky-little-d, the parallel here with Pamela (Dean's fem mirror in Rocky's Bar) in which she said DEAN ALWAYS WANTED WHAT HE COULDN'T HAVE. It means, both dumbasses in love thought their love were unrequited (in the worst scenario) but maybe to Castiel was the Sacred Oath? Perhaps...

"But I think i know...I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it.”

This is such a deep thought and it talks about Castiel's maturity of character. He understood once for all, that loving Dean Winchester, feeling what he feels for him, and expressing that to Dean, is his true happiness. Because...

METATRON: "(...) You draped yourself in the flag of Heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human. Right?"

Dean: "What are you talking about, man?

This question coming from Dean shows the audience Dean didn't know what Castiel was trying to say. So this could be a clue about Dean thinking his love is unrequited.

Cas: “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken. You're...you're 'Daddy's Blunt Instrument.' And you think hate and anger, that's...that's what drives you. That's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it.

Cas: You know, ever since I met you, ever since I pulled you out from Hell...

I was hoping Dean to give us our angel back, but well. It was Jack. Hehehee.

Gif set credit @spnsmile

I recommend to go to the third link on the top of this meta and read @mrsaquaman187 amazing body language reading of this scene!

But now, about what Castiel is saying...

If you are still alive, i just want to point how romantic is this, because he is saying that Dean changed him for good. And he is naming all their family, Sam, Jack, and humanity, the world. Dean. So practically, Cas is saying, Dean showed Cas how to take care of others. Damn...

This is a call back to Castiel's talk with Ishim in 12x10:

ISHIM: The way you let those simians talk to you... Castiel, when did you get so gooey? You know why we're meant to stay away from them humans? Hmm? It's not because we're a danger to them. They're a danger to us. Case in point.

CAS: Well, my friendship with Sam and Dean has made me stronger.

Castiel rewording again, because he knows what Dean did on him, Dean changed him for good.

DEAN (quiet, resigned) Why does this sound like a goodbye?

CASTIEL: Because it is. I love you. (he smiles)

DEAN: Don't do this, Cas.

Dean's last words to Castiel... don't do this, don't confess your love for me and then die again.

It's painfully beautiful. Castiel was the light that touched Dean's life changing him for ever. He was loved and cared by this angel, and at the same time, Dean learned how to love Castiel in silence.

To Conclude:

The most beautiful love story ever told could've ended differently, happily, the way Dean and Cas deserved. But it ended up as a tragedy.

And we are here to fix it.

Destiel is canon and Destiel is forever.

Hope you like this meta. See you in the next one that will be the last one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season, here you have the links:

Volume CXXI, CXXII, CXXIII, CXXIV, CXXV, CXXVI, CXXVII.

Buenos Aires, August 28 th 2021 9:03 PM

[lost-shoe]

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to know better. I was tagged by the very lovely and talented @rainbow-motors, thank you! :)

Relationship Status: Lucky to be married to my best friend and perfect partner in life

Favorite Color: Green

Three Favorite Foods: Sushi (particularly salmon sashimi), steak and chips, marzipan

Song Stuck In My Head: Jingle Bells. It’s my son’s favourite song and he requires that I sing it with him at least twice a week, all year round lol

Last Song I Listened To: Prophet by King Princess

Last Thing I Googled: piano-related stuff, nothing exciting

Time: 4pm

Dream Trip: seeing the Northern Lights in Iceland

Anything I Really Want: more pets!

I’m tagging: @deathswaywardson, @xersei, @lostsoulincssea, @spn-idjits-guide-to-hunting, @littlefreya, @killians-fair-maiden, @clarrrkent, @thisiscloisforever, @warrenhmuck, @superrouth

[sensitivehandsomeactionman]

I was tagged by lovely @fierydeans and @stormsbringers -- thank you!

honey and lemon or milk and sugar // musicals or plays // lemonade or iced tea // strawberries or raspberries // winter or summer // beaches or forests // diners or cafés // unicorns or dragons // gemstones or crystals // hummingbirds or owls // fireworks or sparklers // brunch or happy hour // sweet or sour // Rome or Amsterdam // classic or modern art // sushi or ramen // sun or moon // polka dots or stripes // macarons or croissants // glitter or matte // degas or seurat // aquariums or planetariums // road trip or camping trip // colouring books or water colour // fairy lights or candles

I tag: @deanjackles, @alastairdean, @acklest, @deathswaywardson, @jarpadandjensens, @aborddelimpala

[destielfanficseason16]

To Tag

Here is a list of everyone who asked to be tagged. If you just want to keep an eye on this project and watch it hopefully come to fruition you can follow this blog, the @destielwritersroom where the big group will be hanging out, or ask to be added to the tag list below.

If I’ve added you here by accident please let me know :D

Thank you for your interest! Fingers crossed!

@clemessi @naudtsk @twdoverload @anarchiana @penelopemiles @stopmakingfaces @cherubim85 @stedlouie @certifiedtrashxx @dammitsammy @trickster-archangel @destiel-221b-sabriel @thedemonicpsychoticotaku @castielmorningstar087 @beyond-the-nights-world @contemplativepancakes @knottybodyworker @deathswaywardson @friedlieb-ferdinand-runge @gabsisnotamazing @all-is-lost-hope-remains @randomnikkiebabbles @alackleholics @bryceismynewname @satans-bae-and-queen @poppyville

[perotovar]

k.d. lang — "Constant Craving" | requested by @deathswaywardson

[cuddlemonsterdean]

balulalow || post 13x03. 6k. please check ao3 link for tags!

It's when he walks away after—has to walk away, before the floodgates open, before he breaks down the rest of the way, because if there's one thing San can handle less than an emotional Dean it's a crying Dean, and Dean can't handle him not handling it. This is his kid brother that he raised, but somewhere along the way Dean must have done something wrong if Sam can't see what's going on here. If he thinks that volunteering Dean to take responsibility for this kid that ain't actually a kid is A okay. Or maybe not. Maybe this one thing out of a billion things that are his fault is not on him.

He rounds a corner on his way to his room, head down, heart hammering away and stumbling in his chest, and his left knee gives a painful twinge. Dean almost falters, then pushes past it—so he got knocked around some and then spend thirty plus hours in the car. He just needs his room, his bed, his headphones. Needs away from that kid he can't look at and from Sam, who won't look at Dean.

He throws his bag down at the foot of his bed, locks his door. He's going to need a shower at some point, but just—not now. Not while it's not safe to come out.

Dean shrugs out of his jacket, then sits down heavily on his bed to unlace his boots, and it happens again. This time the twinge in his knee is sharp enough to make him gasp, and he carefully straightens his leg and rides out the pain until it's died down to a dull throbbing. He rubs over his kneecap and grimaces when that doesn't help. It doesn't make sense; he can't remember taking a hit there. He remembers the last time he did though, and why it should be healed, and—no, no. Not thinking about that.

AO3

[losthavenmine]

Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

For @deathswaywardson

[lost-shoe]

I'm so touched you thought of me, thank you ❤️ needless to say this goes right back at you @capitainrogers :)

And I wanna send some love out to @musette22 , @buvky , @jensenandtheboys , @deathswaywardson , @sgt-seabass , @meisterdani , @blanket-burrito-bucky , which I know isn't 5 and I know there are many more folks I adore but basically if I follow you I luffs you ❤️

tag game

tag your 5 favorite mutuals and then they will have to tag 5 more people.

heya anon!

okay so this is obviously hard but ya lets go

@kaikaisa💕 (first and foremost) @the-poet-who-bleed-her-agony 🥺 @frostedcupcakes07 @kahintohogiwoh @andthentheylived @mydemonisinthemirror @stardustofhers 💘 @coldstarlightmentality @varnit @kashslayy (mom dad ko toh ofc) @desiblr-older-sister (tujhe kaise bhool sakte hai)

i’m tagging more peeps cuz why not

[ghisborne]

I owe you nothing! Four years you kept me in solitary; four years of torture! Days of beatings and then weeks alone so that I’d crave the beatings just so I’d know someone else was there!