#dear god i am writing so many spoilers in this app

[medusas-graveyard]

Rumors has it...

Regardless of what one may believe, Phantom's fate has been written in the stars long before he had even existed. It's a simple matter; to keep the time stream and fate of the entirety of life in place. It doesn't matter weather or not the young boy had died by the age of 14, one way or another he will die, and he will become a Halfa.

And as such, his main purpose of existence is to serve the Infinite Realms. He may be young and inexperienced but it's alright, those who've died from so long ago will help and navigate him; much like Time himself and the boundless keeper. One might think of him as a doll in the hands of time, and one would be correct; the doll served as a peace keeper between chaos and hope.

Rumors fly around that the ancients were the ones in control behind of the crowned prince. The rumors are not...true, so to say, but it is close. Every action made by the prince is not driven by the old ghosts, but it is influenced.

...very heavily influenced.

So this is where it landed to at the present. Bruce Batman watched as his son Phantom pause the moment shadows and silhouettes of figures he was unfamiliar with whisper to his ear. Each of them look frantic, and Phantom's eyes are unseeing as the figures seemingly argue with each other in the presence of the Justice League.

This was no longer his son or the Charon;

This was the crowned prince of the Infinite Realms.

[topsytervy]

Good Books, Bad Movies ~ Rafe Cameron, JJ Maybank

Blurb: After reading the first two Percy Jackson books, JJ discovers that there are movies.

Word Count: 988

Warnings: swearing, grammar/spelling mistakes, no big spoilers just brief plot description, I think that's it.

This was based on a random little shit post I made a while back and I decided it's been a while since I've completed ANY of my writings that I'd whip up something short and new. This is definitely not the best but it's here and it exists.

also, don't mind me dropping off the face of the earth for months at a time and never posting anything, just interacting and reading things. Between work and my brain finally grasping at the fact that I don't need to have every little thing I write to be at least a thousand words, I've got barely anything to post.

~~~~~~~~~

You sighed as both of the boys got situated, Rafe and JJ making themselves comfortable with their heads on your chest.

Just a couple of minutes ago, they were playing some video game as you sat on Rafe's bed, a book you've read countless times before in your hand.

"Seriously, Y/N/N. What book is more interesting than us?" JJ whined as he paused the game, looking back at you as you raised your eyebrows and looked at him over your book.

"A 13-year-old boy killing monsters."

Rafe and JJ shot each other a look before setting down their controllers. "What?"

"Percy, the kid, is a demigod and he has to head out on this quest and a lot of shit goes down in the process. Good series. I've read it at least five times all the way through." You explained, shuffling into a more comfortable position.

Rafe glanced at JJ before returning his gaze to you. "Would you read it to us?"

Your eyes flickered between the two boys before nodding. "Sure."

And now here you were, looking like a mother about to read her two sons to sleep, the game forgotten about as you flipped to the beginning of the book.

"Chapter one, I accidentally vaporize my pre-algebra teacher." You began, earning a smile from each of them.

By the time you reached chapter four, you grabbed your bookmark, assuming both the boys had fallen asleep on you but Rafe lifted his head.

"Why are you stopping?"

You stared at the older boy as you shut the book. "Well, I thought that'd be a good place to stop for now."

"No. One more chapter. Come on." Rafe whined like a child.

You felt JJ nod his head against you and you sighed once again. "Fine. One more chapter."

You didn't end up going to bed until 1 AM, making a good dent in the book before you told the two that there was no way you could make it through another chapter. Over the next few days, every time you were with JJ and Rafe, you three got comfortable somewhere and read The Lightening Thief.

It didn't take long for your little trio to be on the third book, you reading and sipping a tea or hot chocolate as one of the boys played with your hair and the other drew mindless shapes on your legs that you had draped over his lap.

It was early morning when JJ burst into Rafe's house with a bag in hand, looking as if he won the jackpot.

"Rafe, Y/N's been holding out on us." He said as he dropped the bag on the counter, making his way towards the pantry and pulling out the popcorn.

Rafe and you both raised an eyebrow at the blonde pogue as he walked towards the microwave, put the popcorn in, and set the time before hitting start.

"Did you know that they made the first and second Percy Jackson books into movies?"

Rafe's eyes lit up as you groaned, placing your head on your arms that were resting on the island. "JJ, please tell me you did not spend money on those movies."

Rafe walked over and placed his hands on the younger boy’s shoulders. "JJ, please tell me you did."

JJ grinned. "Oh, I did, my dear friends. I did."

Rafe clasped his hands together and closed his eyes, a smile on his face as you groaned again.

"J, no." You drew out, as you slowly shook your head, not moving from your position.

Rafe and JJ both shot you a look. "What are you whining about? You love these books, rightfully so, and now we have the movies to watch." JJ pulled them out of the bag.

"That's why I'm whining. I love these books and the movies...oh my god." You raised your head as you looked at them. "I already watched the movies and, on their own, they're good but they don't do the books any justice. Like, the writers fucked it up to the point where Rick Riordan was like 'uhm people aren't going to like this'."

Rafe and JJ both blinked at you before Rafe spoke up.

"I'll go grab the beers."

"Yeah. Grab some blankets too. We gotta be comfy for this."

***

You shot the two boys a look that screamed 'i told you so' as they made a face as the credits of the second movie rolled.

The two had spent the majority of both movies pointing out the differences between the films in the books. Rafe even opened up his notes app and began writing all the flaws, claiming he'll need this for reference later when he writes a review.

"I cannot believe the writers would do Uncle Rick dirty like that," JJ muttered, shaking his head as he tipped back his beer.

You stood up and crossed your arms. "Maybe next time you'll listen to me."

The boys shot you a look before turning back to each other. "I wasted money on this." JJ sighed.

You walked over and placed yourselves between them, leaning your head on Rafe's shoulder as your hand-rubbed JJ's back.

"Time to start a podcast called 'books vs. their movies: which ones were good and which were disappointments'." You closed your eyes as you remembered all the books you read and then watched the movies just to feel the regret of watching them.

"Had your heart broken one too many times?" Rafe asked, smiling down at you.

You nodded. "The only reason why I watch the movies at this point is for the actors."

Rafe patted your thigh. "Well, how about we grab The Titans Curse and continuing reading that to take our minds off of this?"

"Alright." You agreed before you all stood up and made your way back upstairs to Rafe's room, the boys stomping up ahead of you, skipping steps as they did.

~~~~~

[mimir-anoshe]

💧&🔥

Just a bit of Cursed/Nimulot analysis… Cause I’m bored. And I might have found some interesting parallels/imagery watching it through for the 7 billionth time that I would love to share. If anyone enjoys writing meta… Which I mean I know some of y’all need your fix… Feel free to use anything/expand upon it. I would, but I’m a new fur-mumma and she’s taking up all my waking hours, so this little shit-post about this new hell hole of a ship I’ve dove headfirst into will have to do. The images are from a video and show produced by Netflix, I own nothing, so pls don’t be a bitch about it Tumblr.

***SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW!!! WATCH IT AND COME BACK!! OR DON’T? ANYHOO YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!*** ⚠️  

- beware Tumblr app users, it may be your doom -

Where to begin, with the teaser? Or with…

THE SHOW! Here be just a wee few times the writers/director(s) through the writing/cinematography have mirrored these two ‘protect the kid - warriors till the end’ idiots. I’m sure others have picked up on them… Not in any particular order, here ya go anyway.

1x02 - 1x10

*Insert spiderman pointing at spiderman meme*

One scar made by an actual dark god tricking her when she was a child, the others by a very human evil tricking him when he was a child and the consequences for both lasting into adulthood.

1x02 - 1x10

Look at the years of trauma Anakin, look at it! They even use the same damn word! The phonetic tones of disgust! The outcast syndrome! Oof. (And it’s not like Nimue being called demon has to do with a general racial-slur from a human, that is a fey calling her that from her own village!) They both grew up viewing themselves as “demons”, the “abominations”. Even their expressions are the same, fear and sorrow and self-hatred. All they both want is to be accepted! (By their fathers especially). To be loved.

The two who are “cursed.”

1x02 - 1x01

*says nothing*

1x04 - 1x01

“Where to begin? With water or with fire?”

Where to begin? WHERE TO BEGIN??? *dies*

Water ☯ Fire

Sword up  ☯ Sword down

Light/Day  ☯  Dark/Shadow

Life & Death (Life around her, death in the water) ☯ Death & Life (forest fires make way for new growth)

Long bit: Both characters are associated to the elements of water and fire individually through the environment/cinematography/colour pallet/colour symbolism, and then water and fire is mirrored between them. She is overall water, he is overall fire; but they also have a bit of the other in each other.

For Nimue this symbolism is often done through her environment, showing her connection to nature as the fey queen and that she does not hide who she is if she can help it. She does not hide externally, so her elemental symbolism becomes EXTERNAL.

Whilst for Lancelot though he is often surrounded by fire, the idea of water/tears is either symbolised through the fairy tale style of the artwork or referenced for him through his name as “the weeping monk.” Hinted at in his characterisation of guilt and self-loathing, the way other characters respond to him (”the one who cries”/”you see it all through those weeping eyes”). His main conflict is an Internal fight between who he is and who he needs to become, so a lot of his main symbolism surrounding water (and even fire as pertaining to magic - ashfolk - and not killing fey) is INTERNALISED, hidden, cut off from the Hidden themselves. Symbolic of him hiding his connection to the fey and that other side of himself, the “human” (morally speaking) side, and therefore hiding who he truly is… Lancelot.

For Nimue, fire means life. Being chosen and her magic saving people. For Lancelot fire means Death, his deeds, “the fires of hell” and the destruction of the “ash” folk and his heritage. He believes hell fire is his fate, going by the “even if I am damned.”

For Nimue, water means death. In the water she takes revenge, where that Paladin almost drowned her. Into the water she falls, where they think her shot dead by arrows. The water is her fate as the Lady of the Lake. For Lancelot, water means life. Tears, emotions, taking responsibility, feeling the weight of his guilt and mourning for the things he has done/lost. For him, water - not ash -means a second chance to be better. To put out the fires and heal.

Though in the end, for both of them, water & fire most of all represent death and rebirth.

1x03

^If you don’t understand I can’t help you. ☯

1x01 - 1x07

Now this one I found quite interesting. Remember that even if Nimue directed the second one, it is still the Power/will of the Hidden at play. (Or should I say the will of the Writers/director) Chosen? Mirrors? Night and Day? Fire… Embers to Ashes? We shall see, but I think it was definitely on purpose.

^I’ll just leave that here, the fuckers kept missing each other for an entire season (WHICH WAS ON PURPOSE THE WRITERS DID THAT ON PURPOSE just as an fyi). The fact that there is this much sexual tension, anticipation, mirroring, fate, destiny and chemistry between two characters who have never even mET should be ILLEGAL! They affect each other immeasurably without ever even meeting, so imagine what will happen when they do...? *pterodactyl screech*

Whelp there ye go. Under the next gif I also did a bit on the Teaser trailer, as that just fucked me up a bit I have to tell you! Up to you whether you want to continue digesting my mad ramblings or not. *Shrug* Thanks for coming to my TED talk guys– 😂 Somebody fucking smite me down like the eldritch horror of writing I am dear god think of the children…

THE OFFICIAL TEASER TRAILER:

Arthur running for the Sword of Power, because you know, King Arthur.

“The Legend says…” The Legend of King Arthur and his Sword Excalibur/Caliburnus? The line is very meta, a reference to the in world legend that this story will create, but it’s also expecting the audience to be savvy of the actual legend of King Arthur and his knights. Both these ideas intertwined into one. Aka, the trailer expects us to have pre-decided expectations for the story we’re now being told, because we’ve already been told it before; this fairy tale of celtic myth/history. All the “spoilers” about Arthur, his lineage, Morgana, Guinevere, the Knights, even the lady of the Lake herself come with that knowledge. However…

Surprise surprise, the Weeping Monk (killer of fae)/ Lancelot (eventually Arthur’s most trusted KNIGHT) instead picks up the fae sword from it being embedded in the ground, subverting our expectation, it definitely fucking subverted mine, but not in a GOT way, in a ~good~ way. I was like, “Whosoever be this fine hooded fellow hath stole away both sword and my good sense!!! 👀”

Also harkening back to the legend of the sword in the stone (another expectation), which the action itself signifies that person be - as Merlin so eloquently puts - “The one true king.”

Ok… Symbolic wink wink nudge nudge towards his true nature (inside and out), saving Percival, potentially becoming the greatest warrior and protector of his people and eventually a Knight of the Round Table; and perhaps King of our Hearts??? Ok, sure thing “concept” trailer. I’ll bite.

Ok… *deep breath*

WHOMSt the fUCK decided to frame (fae “ashman”) ?Lancelot? with the ~SWORD OF KINGS~ (also of fae origin) A N D the line…‘the one true king’ ALL IN ONE… instead of Arthur?

‘BELONGS to the one true King?’ Belongs, hmm interesting word choice… This done in a worms eye view shot meant to make the viewer feel like the character is above/superior/basically we’re kneeling before them? (Which I mean sure? but…) Hmm??? HMMM??? I don’t understand CONCEPT Trailer what is the CONCEPT you’re trying to get across? One hand on his paladin sword and the other on “fae hope” Excalibur I get, he has to make an important decision, one that will either save his humanity (and his people) or destroy it (them), yeah yeah sure that’s F I N E…

…but what about the “KING” SHIT HMMM?? Is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class? *sips tea whilst staring straight into the camera*

it may mean nothing don’t quote me

…Anwaaaay… We all know in a fight Lancelot can kick Arthur’s ass so that’s not whats going on here. Arthur is P I S S E D. They’re not just bog standard enemies here. I mean WPM kicking him in the ribs was pretty “fuck you” and they were just enemies there. In this instance the sword is in play, Weeping Monk has taken something from Arthur that he feels “BELONGS” to him - in this case symbolised by WPM taking “his” sword - and that’s making it personal.

“You stole my sword ya bitch!” And what is the sword linked to? Power? Sure. The right of being a King? Yep. And also a certain Queen…  No no no, this is the Concept of rivalry. It shows that whatever relationship Arthur and his “Knight” will have in the future after all the “die die die” starts to sizzle down will - in its genesis - be a rivalry. Probably mirroring Gawain and Arthur when they first met to an extent. A rivalry for power? For something else? Who Knows!

*whistles innocently*

And down down down he goes. He’s FALLING. There are many metaphorical concepts associated to FALLING… Falling from “grace” (in the eyes of the Church)… Falling because he has a sky full of guilt crashing down upon him… falling for h… falling in Lo… into the Water!!!! Until he is completely submerged. Water, the idea of cleansing, of washing away who you once were/trauma/sins of the past so you may be reborn a better version of yourself. His old ideals are defeated, he submits to his true heritage and allows it to wash around him so he may begin to heal.

Though if we’re talking metaphors, water is - for obvious reasons - always associated with the LADY OF THE LAKE… Nimue. He has fallen into her world. (pss he’s gonna fall for the Chick in the Lake - I think - there ye go). Water is associated to memory/reflections and mirrors. And he is CRASHING through this mirror… This idea of reflections/mirror images is even more ironic when you’ve watched the show.  

And as he falls beneath the water with the sword of a King, she rises out of it, with the sword of a Queen… Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s in the biggest shipping hell of them all? Either these two are going to be really good at relay, or there’s some conceptual significance here. The specifics? No fecking clue, will need to wait for a season 2! There is also some interesting use of Z~oo~m in this last bit, but I’m sure it’s pretty obvious to you all. Summary: just visually in a concept “teaser” trailer, the zoom in on them both, the reverse mirroring, the literal and symbolic visual of water and the Sword (of rulers) connecting them frames these two characters together, that’s just in the concept trailer. Links their legend together. TBH IT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE LANCELOT FELL INTO THE WATER AND TURNED INTO NIMUE  WHAT IS THIS GREEK SOULMATE SHIT I’M–

*calms down* This trailer and the show also definitely said to the original Arthurian Legend “RIP but I’m different.” I mean, Nimue is definitely not Lancelot’s mother figure in this one, that’s all I’m saying.

I think this legend might be a wee bit different 😉*cackles*

[discyours]

I finished watching the latest season of Shameless and it’s reaffirmed to me how terrible this show is at LGBT representation so I’m gonna complain about it. Spoiler warning, obviously. 

Okay so first of all, Ian and Mickey were one of the best parts of this show. I’m not a gay man so my opinion on this is not that valuable, but as far as I know it was very well received by the gay community. Their relationship was as raw and as realistic as everything else that’s good about this show. How uncommon is it, even now, for media to show that guys like Mickey can be gay? How uncommon is it for them to show a genuine connection between growing up being shaped by an environment like Mickey’s and the way he deals with his sexuality, rather than just creating a character that never took on any part of their upbringing because they were simply too camp to fit in. The way Mickey and Ian both felt about their sexuality very much shaped their relationship at the start of it, but it grew from there. The writers didn’t make the mistake of making the relationship about the fact that it was gay. Neither character was killed off, the relationship was very on-and-off but wasn’t intentionally cut short, and they didn’t shy away from showing on-screen affection while also (in my opinion) not coming off as fetishistic either. Mickey and Ian was everything that is usually done wrong done right, and unfortunately the only real example of that on this show. 

The Kash storyline actually came before Mickey, but I wanted to start this post off with a positive example so I didn’t sound too salty. I have mixed feelings about how realistic this one was, and since I’m not a gay man I really don’t think it’s my place to state whether it was or not. But one thing is for sure; it wasn’t positive. I mean, it’s an affair between a seriously underage Ian (I think he was around 15 in the first season?) and his significantly older, married with children employer. Kash is also middle-eastern so this story fed into both homophobic and racist stereotypes. 

In season 2 Ian sleeps with yet another married man: Ned/Lloyd (Jimmysteve’s father). Lloyd is even older than Kash (likely 50s/60s) while Ian is still underage. Lloyd describes his sexuality as “anything that walks” meaning this isn’t actually bad gay representation, but terrible bi representation. 

Jumping ahead to season 6 (after Ian has been working in a gay club and had many hookups, but no real relationships aside from Mickey so nothing worth mentioning), Ian started dating Caleb, a black firefighter. Caleb turns out to be HIV positive but the show (in my opinion) handles it extremely well, making it a point that it’s possible to manage it with medication to the point where you can’t transmit it to anyone. It was a genuinely great, healthy relationship, until they decided to make Caleb cheat with a woman. Again, terrible bi representation, and once they’ve broken up the experience leads to Ian attempting to have straight sex too. It’s something a lot of gay men go through so I don’t think it was necessarily bad to add it to the show, but I do take issue with that even being needed as a plot device to show that Ian is truly gay, as that’s the way a lot of society views homosexuality too. 

Shortly after this, Trevor is introduced. Like I said, I’m not a gay man so my opinion on all of the former was of limited value, but I am a trans man and dear fucking god I hated Trevor’s story. Trevor is the embodiment of a character whose only defining trait is that they are LGBT. He’s overly sensitive to anyone not being immediately understanding about trans issues, and his relationship with Ian infuriated me. Trevor was offended that Ian lost interest upon finding out that he was trans, and the show made it seem like he was in the right for it. Ian apologised and they end up dating. They end up fucking. All this right after having shown that Ian tried to sleep with the opposite sex and absolutely hated it. Pure virtue signaling and my personal annoyance that every trans person in Trevor’s friend group was shown to be an “SJW snowflake” who had to introduce themselves with their pronouns is worthless next to the genuine harm that was done by showing that gay men can and totally should sleep with the opposite sex as long as they’re trans. 

I don’t even want to move on from that because of how genuinely terrible it is, but let’s do so anyway because there’s more. Further building on the pattern of terrible bi representation, there was the minor season 1/2 character Jasmine. She’s married but unfaithful, and her showing interest in women is seen as a part of her being so “free spirited”, if you can call it that. 

The “throuple” between Kev, Vee and Svetlana is another example. This post is getting long but I mean, for god’s sake can this show have a single bi character that isn’t super promiscuous if not a fucking unicorn? Every bi woman who’s ever used dating apps deserves to be mad at this storyline. 

Now for the thing that actually got me to write this post; the lesbian representation in this show. The first lesbian we see is Bob/Roberta, in season 1 and 2. She’s a literal stereotype as an extremely butch truck driver, dating a woman who is generally presumed to be straight. She and Monica try to take Liam away on the basis that he’s black and needs a black parent. Just like with Kash, this is doubly negative representation. She’s a minor character and all she does is “turn” a character by being so butch, and try to steal a fucking baby. 

In early season 9 this stereotyping stunt is repeated. Debbie meets Alex, another black woman so butch that she’s introduced as someone who’s passing as a man. Alex makes Debbie question her sexuality (though Debbie is later revealed to be bi, she wasn’t at this point so this was still falling into the “straight woman is ‘turned’ by an ultra-butch lesbian” trope) and they move in together right away. When they have lunch together after an argument, Alex spends hours talking about all of her exes, eventually reaching a point where Debbie can’t take it anymore and leaves. 

Also introduced in season 9 is Carl’s girlfriend, Kelly. When this character was introduced it was immediately obvious to me that she was coded to seem like a lesbian. She's the daughter of an army officer and plays softball, and just about everything about the way she looks and acts seemed gay. I initially thought that they made this character date Carl to kill any suspicions of her being a lesbian before they could begin, but then they actually turned “queer baiting” (not my term) into a plotline. They made her character flirt with Debbie, made Debbie try to “steal” her from Carl (again, a bi character not respecting established relationships), and very much hinted at a relationship happening. The preview for season 9 episode 13 showed them kissing, and they still ended that story with her being straight and apologising for accidentally leading Debbie on. 

I’ll throw in an honorable mention to Lea Delaria’s very brief appearance as a character so minor I can’t even remember what it was called; Lip’s potential AA sponsor; another ultra-butch stereotype, and an asshole. Oh and there was the whole gentrification plotline, where a bunch of rich lesbian couples (you guessed it, stereotypes!) moved into the southside. And Ford’s exes that Fiona met when she went bowling, which were barely actual characters and more of a joke about how gay they looked and how Ford clearly had a type. With Kelly being revealed as straight, the closest this show has ever gotten to a lesbian character that took actual part in the plot beyond being a stereotype was the lesbian couple in Fiona’s apartment building, and they still had one of them sleep with a man (off-screen, luckily) as a Totally Necessary Measure to get pregnant. 

Shameless was genuinely one of my favourite shows and it wasn’t too hard to look past most of this at first, considering so many characters are terrible people anyway. But I can’t ignore the flaws at this point. This goes beyond comedy and I’m almost angry that Shameless has ruined itself for me just by being homophobic.

[brimbrimbrimbrim]

Since I'm supposed to be such a gamer, I'm really intrigued by this extensive list of video games you like. Like... after Lucas Baker, I really wanna know what else (and who else?!) is out there that I'm missing out on. Feel free to give as much detail as you like, also take your time because it's not like I'm gonna be finished with RE7 and Outlast anytime soon. Thanks!

 Thank you for asking, Waffle. I’m going to list some unconventional interests, as far as male villains and such go, and then I’ll add some of my favorites horror games for you at the end since some of them are just too damn good even without something dubious to obsesses over. Possible spoilers, but I’ll try to limit them to minor things.

Outlast’s Eddie Gluskin: Probably, my favorite villain from Outlast, after The Twins. His obsessive desire to make himself a wife is as sympathetic as it is batshit insane. He’s a real family man, has a great haircut and bow tie. If it weren’t for the blood and gender mutilation he’d be a real catch. You’ll meet him soon…

Outlast’s Twins: I’m not sure if they have another name or not, but these two really want to eat you and hang major dong throughout the whole game. The swinging dick is enough to either put the player off… or pique their interest. My interest was piqued. There’s no fandom for these guys, which sucks. Maybe I’ll write something awful for them one day.

RE7′s Lucas Baker: This fucker needs no introduction. Genius mastermind, sociopathic tendencies, probably a virgin and has an accent close enough to my boyfriend’s that I get weird feelings daily. Plus, he loves birthdays! I bet he’d be great at parties.

Silent Hill 2′s Pyramid Head: I wondered if I should include him or not because it goes without saying most of the people that will see this are already familiar with the manifestation of sexual deviancies and repression. He rapes Mannequins, has a long tentacle tongue that smacks the shit out of you and wears an apron of human flesh. Gotta love the dedication.

Fallout 3′s Charon: Not for the faint of heart, ‘cause of the whole zombie-face thing (he might not even have a dick if you think about the fact that he doesn’t have ears or a nose anymore) but he’s six and a half feet tall of ghoulish bodyguard. He’s available to both good and bad karma players because he’s loyal to anyone who holds his contract. The dude pretty much communicates in grunts and questionable insults thrown at enemies. He’s awesome.

Fallout 4′s Hancock: He’s a drug addict, a ghoul without all the insecurities and the Mayor of an anarchist town. The dude stabs a guy just for trying to extort caps off you the first time you walk into his town. First impressions am I right? His romance veers into sticky romance a bit too heavy for in at times, but he’s still a fucking badass and that radiation-torn voice is fucking hot.

Fallout 2′s Myron: It’s not creepy since I was a teenager when I played this game. This little shithead genius created the ultra addictive wasteland drug Jet, pretty much solely so he could barter for prostitutes. He’s a horny, greasy asshole and my favorite companion in Fallout 2. I sorta wanted to strap him to the Highwayman and put him in his place.

Gears of War’s Locust: They come in many forms/races but the grunts were always my favorite. When a town would get decimated it was usually these beasts that got sent in first, kidnapping people in spades. I always wanted to read something devious about these guys but never could find anything. 

F.E.A.R.’s Paxton Fettel: I fucking loved this guy to the point of trying to write my own messy fic about it, but I couldn’t figure out how to make the sex work with him. Maybe I’ll pick it back up someday. He’s a mama’s boy, bloodthirsty and look at that face! He’s a monstrous and methodical human in the first game and, even after surpassing that in the second game, manages to still be just as menacing. Any more and I’d spoil the game, but it’s a great FPS with solid horror elements.

Dragonage 2′s Arishok: Yeah, his design in the game is a bit different than the CGI trailer, but he’s no less menacing. The Qunari in DA is an interesting race. Though they are very hard to write for considering they don’t have sex outside of procreation unless they’re Tal-Vashoth, which are essentially deserters of the Qunari way of life. This bad boy is the head of their military and his horns… dear god. 

Skyrim’s Borkul the Beast: I’ve had a thing for Orc’s and Orc-like races since Lord of the Rings… and Borkul is probably my favorite. He’s a self-appointed guard in the Cidhna Mines with skull face paint and he’s fucking massive. Your character is stuck in a prison mine, weaponless and part of the quest to escape is get this fucker to let you in to talk to the head prisoner. How, oh how can you convince him to let you through? Better break out the knee pads…

The Darkness’ Jackie Estacado: The nephew of a crime boss and ex-assassin. He gets possessed by The Darkness on his 21st birthday and everything after that is just one big cluster fuck of blood and angst for poor Jackie. He’s a tragic character, good with a gun and has monsters that come out of his back to devour gang members, so… he’d be an interesting lay, to say the least. It’s also a great game, same with the sequel.

The Evil Within’s Ruvik/Rubin: He’s a bit edgelordy at times but he’s got the hood, scars, and disposition of a madman. Also a genius in his own way, if not very sociopathic to the point of keeping a brain alive to submit it to needle pokes of torture, stimulating the different lobes to give the disembodied brain the purest kind of dread. But he’s also obsessed with his sister (not sure if it’s incestuous or what) so he’s got some emotions left at least. It wasn’t the game it was cracked up to be in my opinion, but it was still a fun playthrough.

The Evil Within’s Safe Head: A diet Pyramid Head, but he’d no less brutal. No rape from what I could see, but he’d got a meat hammer and he has the added advantage of being able to snap his own neck in order to manifest himself in any place where there’s another safe just laying around. He’s tenacious and at certain points, there’s more than one of him. He made me feel things other than fear a few times.

Dead Space’s Isaac Clarke: First of all, I wish they’d never unmasked him. Secondly, his whole course of action is to find out what happened to his wife on one of the mining ships. He’s not a fighter, although you wouldn’t know from looking at him, he’s an engineer and his gun is a laser cutter. If you like survival horror and sci-fi, this is the game to play. Say what you will about the third game, but I enjoyed all of them.

Aaaand, that’s about it. I’ve got a soft spot for Bioshock’s Splicers, Alice: Madness Returns’ Carpenter, Metro: Last Light’s Pavel Morozov, and Silent Hill 3′s Valtiel.

If you run out of stuff to play, let me know. I have other horror (and horror-like) games to recommend that don’t necessarily contain drool-worthy villains. Thanks again for the ask, this was a challenge and a blast to put together. Hopefully, this post doesn’t crash people's browsers/apps. It wasn’t short.