#dear alice dialogue event
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MONIQUE!! LET’S CONTINUE THE BAD BOY!DEREK ERA
I'M LOST- him telling you he loves you for the first time (when you never expected him to even say it)
Derek wasn't sure if the happy smile on your face was because of him or because of the brown paper bag and ice cream cup in his hand but he was happy seeing it either way. When you'd called to cancel your dinner date because of your period you didn't know how he'd take it, which was silly to be fair because he'd been nothing but a perfect gentleman, taking every chance to remind you how grateful he was that you'd given him a chance. You were just grateful to see this side of him, you'd seen good behind that tough shell and it was so exciting seeing the good taking over.
"Baby," you crooned, making grabby hands in his direction, not doing much to ease his confusion but he quickened his pace still, didn't want to keep you waiting. "You came all the way here," you pouted and when you took his face in your hands instead of the ice cream his insides went wild. You kissed his lips quickly and when you took note of the Oreo McFlurry in his right hand you kissed the tip of his nose as well, tightening your hold around his cheeks. "And you brought me snacks too, you're the best."
"Hardly," he argued and he wouldn't dare be embarrassed by the way his cheeks tinted red and heated up right under your touch, stealing a kiss of his own before you let go of him, careful when he placed everything on the bed next to you, even more careful when you pulled him down to sit in front of you, eyes all dreamy to perfectly match yours. "I also put some pain meds in the bag, the lady at the drugstore said it works for periods but I got a backup just in case, called your friend Lydia and she told me what worked for her so I got that just to be safe," you were already two bites into your McFlurry so you couldn't reply immediately so you hoped reaching out to take his hand was enough to begin with.
"You didn't need to do all of that, Der, I just called so you wouldn't worry," his hand around yours felt like heaven, comfort you craved for more than you realized, you were torn between finishing the food he brought you and taking a nap in his arms- you wished there was a way to do both. "Thank you," you added, he was being so sweet, you wanted him to know how much it meant to you. "No one has ever done something like this to me."
"Well, that just means no one has loved you as much as I love you," he said it so casually, like a thought he'd had before had somehow made its way out, but he didn't even react to it, didn't even notice, just stole one of your fries and offered closed mouth smile while he brushed a cookie crumb from your chin.
"I think you're right," you admitted and offered him a spoon scooped high, and when you leaned forward to dip it into his mouth your heart soared. "In fact, I think that I love you just enough to share the rest of my cup with you," you hoped it sounded as casual from your lips as it did from his.
#got carried away bestie sorry#the idea of big bad derek hale stopping at the drug store with his helmet in hand asking for period pain meds is such a sight#derek hale#derek hale x reader#badboy!derek hale#teen wolf dialogues#monique's dialogue days#dear alice dialogue event
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fic rec time!
Who Remembers a God [Act 1]
Fandom: Rune Factory 5
Author: DarkAcey or @darkacey
Summary:
As Lucas tapped his pen on his chin, he looked out the window at the day’s dying light. He considered his words before he began: Today I have purchased this notebook at a steep discount to replace the one that was ruined by the waters of Lake Yumina (must not forget — repay Misasagi the remaining 1620 G at earliest convenience). I am currently residing in an abandoned house in the southern portion of a small town named Rigbarth. Tonight, I shall begin the monumental task of recounting all that has happened since I awoke in a chilly cavern.
If you’re like me and got obsessed with filling in the gaps in Lucas’ backstory, this fic is for you. Parts of the fic recycle canon dialogue, but mostly it expands what we were given and changes the order or details of some events.
Also, I couldn’t decide between Alice or Ares, so I said ‘why not both?’ and made them into a nonbinary person named Ari.
Poster's Note: okay so today is a dear friend's birthday (the aforementioned acey) and i wanted to take this opportunity to recommend their current project! while i've only played like, 2 hours? of rune factory 5, i CAN say that this fic not only captures the like, dungeons and dragons stardew valley vibe of the game but also tells its own interesting story with great characterization, emotional depth, funny jokes, and a cute romance at the core.
acey has quite a few other works that i would recommend as well, if you have the time and/or the drive. i started their botw fic not my namesake back when it was posting and i only lost touch with it when my own mental health went from trash can to trash can fire, and i would HIGHLY recommend it from the half i did read.
the point is: they're a great writer, they're my friend, and i love them dearly and admire their skills so if you want to help make their birthday great you could give them a read perhaps? <3
#fic recs#darkacey#rune factory#rune factory 5#lucas rune factory#player character rune factory#rf5#fic of friends
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Extended content on Balan Wonderworld
Okay, the Demo has been released for a long while now and I know there is high criticism for it and many folks would likely turn away from it. But to anyone who is still interested in play the game after experiencing the Demo or still curious about it, then I will leave this message is for you (as someone who followed this game series since its announcement trailer) you can have a better understanding of it.
BALAN WONDERWORLD is a wondrous action-platformer game themed around a mysterious musical theatre. The stars of the show will use special abilities from a multitude of characterful costumes as they adventure in the bizarre and imaginary land of Wonderworld. So think of it.... as you playing Alice who is actually traveling to Wonderland. The game is more or less a successor to Night in Dreams but is something different. It's related but it's likely doesn't reside in the same world (take what I said with a grain of salt.)
~Now to get to the more narrative aspect of the game....there isn't a straightforward story but rather a theme to it. Here memories and vistas from the real world mix with the things that people hold dear. There are Twelve different tales (or Chapters) in Wonderworld and each with its own unique quirks (or settings). They are mostly labyrinthine stages, using all tricks and gimmicks whether out in the open or hidden, the player needs to get through them in order to get to the heart of each touching story.
So long story short: It's basically you traveling to different worlds that reflect their hosts, find their "heart", discover what brought darkness within their hearts, and freeing them. Basically a rescue mission with a twist.
~Next we move onto the game mechanics (which I believe, is the biggest subject that needs explanation), the random characters like Tornado Wolf and Jumping Jack are actually embodiments of power-ups or costumes. There are like 80 or more in this game and each of them is a representation of the Host and their world. What they represent is basically up to you.
So far there are like 5-6 costumes each in 12 chapters and each one has a unique skill or quirk to them that can help you guide around the stage and solve puzzles. And since there are usually 2 Acts on each chapter stage so there are likely 3 or 4 costumes in them as well.
The little creatures are called Tims and are basically the Chao or Nightopians of Wonderworld. They live on the Isle of Tims (which is your Hub World) and they are born from the happiness felt by inhabitants of the real world. They all come in colors and personalities, and they’ll help you on your adventures. For example, The Pink Tims help you collect items you overlook or past while the Red Tims attack your enemies.
The Drops are like food that changes their colors and quirks while also making them bigger.
The Balan Bout is basically a quick-time event where you play as Balan. If you play with all excellent you get a Balan Statue.
The Statues are mostly scattered throughout the Chapters and you will need to collect enough of them to move to the next chapters. It's always good to collect as many of them as possible if you can.
~ Moving onto the main characters, there only 4 we are aware of.
Starting off with the title character, Balan himself is the magical maestro of the theater with eccentrics of his own. He's mostly your guide in Wonderworld and basically the one Genie from Aladdin of Wonderworld. He's charming to say the least and easily the most fun to watch.
Next, we have the player: Leo Craig A 15-year-old boy who always acts cool but is really lonesome. Several years ago he had a big argument with his best friend and has preferred being alone ever since which explains in his cutscene on why he is kinda rude.
Then we have another player: Emma Cole, also 15 who is has a bright smile yet often concerns herself with whatever one says around her which makes her very self-conscious and nervous.
Finally, we have Lance, the mysterious being within Wonderworld who controls the Negatis and traps visitors in Wonderworld with negative energy to create monsters out of them. Not much information from him other than he is the antagonistic force of Wonderworld.
So far, this is much information on the characters as we can collect thus far.
Finshing up with the discussion, I believe the game itself is mostly a passion project for Yuji Naka and I can tell he put a lot of work into this too. There are some things that needed more focus on like the context as well as dialogue but as I mentioned earlier, the core of the game is mostly about finding Balance within yourself and understanding what makes you happy in life. And since the setting resides in a magical theater...I think going to expect music, dancing and probably singing as well.
A/N: This isn't me defending the Demo as I am aware that it has issues that needed to be fixed but I am also willing to give the game series a chance since it's the kind of game that I honestly don't mind playing. This message is just me explaining the game in a better context from the information that I and the discord server had collected over the time since the announcement so please do not judge those who still love the game.
TLDR: My discussion is a thorough extended content of BALAN WONDERWORLD,
~An action platformer game with puzzle-solving and collectathon
~The story is more of a Theme that is a central topic, subject, or message within a narrative. And it takes place in a magical theater about 2 teenagers with issues helping 12 other people with issues with the power of friendship, theater, and furry outfits.
~There are over 80 costumes that help throughout the Chapters/Stages of the game.
~The Tims are your helper sidekicks
~And game has good visuals and content but the execution of the demo was not but still giving it a chance.
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Talking Books With @thereadingchallengechallenge!
[What is this and how can I participate?]
Hello again!
Today we talk with the queen extraordinaire of #LoveOZYA. Get ready, because this is a long interview: we discuss books she likes, accurate portrayals of disability, and reading under the radar.
Important note: I haven’t changed or edited any of the answers. I’ve only formatted the book titles so they were clearer, but nothing else. Because I’m incapable of shutting up, my comments are between brackets and in italics, so you can distinguish them clearly.
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[Image description: a square titled “Know the blogger”. Name & pronouns: Em, she/her; country: Australia; three adjectives to describe her: easy-going, verbose & curious /end of description]
1. What was the last reading challenge/bingo/readathon/etc you took part in?
Oh dear, I don't remember! I think it might've been the "Booklr Reads Australian" event I ran in 2019? I'm very much a mood reader so I find it difficult to stick to specific reading challenges. But I set my own little challenges for myself each year :)
2. Last book that made you laugh?
I've been listening to the audiobook of Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones before bed and I keep having to bury my face in my blankets so I don't laugh and wake anyone up 🤣 Howl is the walking disaster I'm looking for and I am thoroughly enjoying reacquainting myself with him and Sophie's antics.
[Everyone says they laughed with this book and I don’t remember laughing when I read it???? Like, it was fun, but not laughing-out-loud fun. Am I broken?]
3. Do you read graphic novels?
I try. I have my favourites - Heartstopper by Alice Oseman 😍 - but I'm visually impaired so if the font in the dialogue and text is too small, I literally can't read it. This has meant I've missed out on iconic stories like Nimona by Noelle Stevenson. I've tried to think of a way to bring attention to this issue but I haven't come up with anything yet.
[Oooof that’s hard, I’m sorry. I don’t really read graphic novels because I’m not usually interested, but not being able to read them because you can’t... Perhaps having transcriptions of the dialogue in a bigger font would help?]
4. What are some books related to a topic you care about?
My ultimate passion when it comes to books is finding accurate representations of disability. With roughly 1 in 5 people around the world having some kind of disability but only around 2% of media including disabled characters, there's a major issue with this. Especially when you consider the fact that a significant amount of disability representation is inaccurate at best and actively harmful at worst. Finding good disability rep has been an enlightening experience during my blogging journey and I've found some great books that represent disability authentically and sensitively.
On the Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis - a stunning sci-fi novel about an autistic girl in Amsterdam trying to make it to safety when a meteor endangers life on Earth. Corinne Duyvis is autistic herself and is also the creator of the #OwnVoices hashtag which is now used across the publishing industry.
History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera - I love a sad story and Adam Silvera writes them like no one else. I loved this story about a boy grieving his first boyfriend while trying to cope with OCD. Silvera writes about mental illness a lot, always with care and respect, and writes beautiful queer romances alongside it.
RUN by Kody Keplinger - I loved this book about two best friends, one of them visually impaired, running away from home to try and seek their fortunes away from their controlling families and tight-knit community. Disabled (and queer) herself, Kody Keplinger is a fantastic author who writes some of the most realistic teenagers I've ever come across. She writes about heavy topics like sex and abuse with such care and realism without it ever feeling sensationalised or over the top. I'd recommend any of her books but this has been my favourite so far.
Everything I've Never Said by Samantha Wheeler - A short, Australian novel, this follows 12-year-old Ava who is living with Rett Syndrome and desperate to find a way to communicate with her loving family. I found this book incredibly emotional to read because of how well Wheeler explained the difficulties disabled people (and their families) face while trying to seek even the most basic of aides and assistance. She didn't pull her punches in showing the ableism and abuse Ava faced in the community, from her doctors, from support workers, while also showing how empowering it is to connect with other disabled people and feel pride in that identity.
Unbroken: 13 Stories Starring Disabled Teens - edited by Marieke Nijkamp, a disabled writer I love to pieces, this YA anthology features a broad range of disabilities in characters whose identities range right across the board. If you want to learn a little about a lot of different disabilities, from authors who share those disabilities, this is a great book to pick up because it beautifully illustrates how disability intersects with other kinds of identities as well.
If you're looking for other books featuring disabled characters, check out Disability in Kidlit for in-depth #OwnVoices reviews or my "Disabled Characters" shelf on Goodreads.
5. Who do you share your passion or your reads with?
Mostly booklr. When I hang out with friends - remember doing that? - we usually catch up on what we've been reading or we visit a bookshop and I spit recommendations left, right and centre, but for the most part, I just share my reviews on tumblr and Goodreads. Which I enjoy - I love knowing that someone's gonna see my review and get a different perspective on the book than the blurb or how the publisher has marketed it.
I learned early on running my blog that books so often only tickle our fancy because of their blurb but when a blurb completely contradicts the actual story - like, say, The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater - we can miss out on books that we'd really love. So when I write reviews, I always try to present my reads a little differently than the official blurb has in the hopes that maybe someone will give that book another chance.
[I should write blurbs too, but I’m too lazy. I usually just copy the blurb off Goodreads when I review, and then just explain myself what’s going on if I think there’s something missing]
Free space to say/add/recommend anything!
In my search for accurate representations of disability, I have also discovered loads and loads of authors who fly under the radar around here. I love boosting these quiet voices of YA but I thought I'd share a few tips to help other people find these lesser-known books on their own.
Look for authors who aren't from America: I know, I know - the market is saturated by Americans, but it isn't too hard to find lists of books and authors from other countries if you know where to search. If you aren't already acquainted with Goodreads' lists feature, go check it out under their "Browse" tab. Search "UK YA" for books from Britain, search "#LoveOzYA" for books from Australia (and sometimes New Zealand). There are usually yearly lists and if not, there are definitely lists of popular books from other countries. It can be hard to buy these books from overseas but request them from your library, order them through your local independent bookstore - they are always happy to help you find books off the beaten path.
[Good moment to say that you should also read translations!!!! Not everything in this world is written in English, and there are very good books out there you all are missing out on because you don’t branch out!]
Use Goodreads "Readers also enjoyed" feature - carefully: If you use Goodreads on desktop, you've probably noticed the little slideshow in the top right corner of a book's info page with a stream of similar books. But did you know that it tends to group books from the same country together? If the book's American, it shows other American books. If it's Australian, it only suggests other Australian books. An excellent example of technological bias for anyone taking media courses but not too helpful for us bookworms searching for an obscure new read. The easiest way around this is to find one book from a different place and then just scroll through the other books, seeing what strikes your fancy. Go down the recommendations rabbit hole and see what magical land you end up in.
Look at the end of Goodreads lists, not the start: Back to those lists, you'll notice that they're sorted by votes, with all Goodreads members allowed to add books and vote for the ones they love or care about. So, naturally, the most popular books end up at the top - this is most evident looking at the "YA Releases by Month" lists. But if you go to the end of the list and work backwards, you're sure to find some interesting novels that only a few people have heard about before.
Sort your TBR by number of ratings: We've all done that thing where we hear about a book, add it to our TBR, and then promptly forget about it. Use this infinite bookworm problem to your advantage and sort your TBR by the number of ratings a book has, using the bold column titles on your shelf page. You may have to add the function by visiting your Want to Read shelf and selecting Settings > Visible Columns > activate "Num Ratings" > Save Current Settings.
Book shopping? Check the Bargain section: A lot of my early unknown YA discoveries came from looking in the bargain sections of websites and bookstores. Often cheaper, because the bookseller is trying to clear space, it can be really interesting to see what books you find in these sections of stores. You don't always have a lot to choose from but you can often be pleasantly surprised by what you'll find and you're almost guaranteed to come across authors you've never heard of before.
[This is actually a super neat trick, I’ll definitely try it next time!]
All sound a little overwhelming? No worries! I have several lists of "under the radar" recommendations available on my blog if you just want to pick out a few titles to get you pointed in the right direction 😊
You can follow her at @thereadingchallengechallenge and on Goodreads.
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Thank you, Em! This gave us lots of food for thought and your links are super handy.
Next interview: Wednesday, 23rd of September
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So I fell asleep last night before I could make the post, but I got P5 Scramble yesterday and I’m having a blast so far. ^_^
I’m probably going to go through it the same way I did my Royal playthrough, so if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t click through on these posts!
Before we start, I just want to mention that I don’t really know anything about the story. Somehow I’ve managed to avoid spoilers for an entire year except for a few small things.
I do know the identity of (who I assume is) Kyoto’s Jail Monarch. (Monarch is kind of a weird, formal word. I think I liked Jail King better. Or... Warden? Warden might have been the best choice.) ANYWAY, I think I know their identity, and by extension, I have a vague idea of why Shadow Joker exists. Other than that... You’re getting speculation and bullshit untainted by later plot revelations. XDDD
I did find it funny that when I booted the game up, I got a “No save data found, unable to start game” message. Like... no shit, PS4, it’s a brand new game. But the little starting tutorial fight was cool, and I liked the opening movie!
The police briefing was...interesting. It’s good to see them actually being somewhat logical? Like... considering everything that happened the year before, it makes sense that they’d assume this is the Thieves again. They have no way of knowing that there’s no way to access Palaces anymore. This isn’t really the Thieves MO, though. Except for the guy who confessed to document tampering. The author shredding his work for no reason and the guy streaking through the criminal justice headquarters don’t seem like they did anything wrong. Those seem more like psychotic breakdowns.
But... I guess we don’t know if the police ever knew anything about Black Mask, or if Shido was convicted on only real-world crimes and not the metaverse hits he ordered. I wonder if that’ll get elaborated on.
Zenkichi’s introduction was him laughing at the streaking guy in the middle of this Serious Police Meeting, so I think I’m gonna like him a lot. ^_^
Anyway, the “higher-ups” really want this case closed, according to “Commissioner Kaburagi”, who I already don’t like. If you’re the police commissioner, Makoto really would be a better choice, holy shit. She’s already prepared to go after Akira, who is the only Thief they know the identity of, so I guess that’s fair. But still. Has he not been falsely accused of enough for a lifetime?
Although... if you’re gonna look up all his life details, can you maybe... share some? Just a few things? Hometown? How are his parents? Anything?
*
Coming back to Leblanc was cute. Got some Trickster’s Maze vibes from the initial text conversation where they were talking about how people kept not responding to texts, but I think it’s all good. Love that the Sayuri is still on the wall, and that Morgana’s been home with Akira.
Naming the app “Emma” is never going to stop being hilarious to me, because reasons.
Y’know, Atlus, this would work a lot better if he could like...respond to their curiosity. At least these dialogue options seem to suggest that talking things out with his parents went well. Even “I missed you” isn’t inherently negative. He’d miss them either way.
.......so when my boyfriend gets back from his soul-searching vacation, he’ll be welcomed back with open arms, right, Ryuji? Right?
Meanwhile, for summer break plans, Yusuke wants to go to Kyoto for a month-long art tour. Unless...
Never change, dear. Never change.
Nice of Sojiro to water my plant and keep my room from drowning in dust, but he really couldn’t have replaced the bedframe with literally anything other than the plastic storage crates? XD The attic looks so empty and lonely without the shelves of trinkets and plushies, and the TV.
So my reaction to this next part was literally, “LAVENZA, IT’S BEEN LESS THAN 24 HOURS”. X’‘‘D Akira really can’t catch a break. But Lavenza’s dialogue sounded actually sad that he was being dragged into this again. And she’s promised repeatedly that she’s going to be there for him. It’s sweet, even though my room is still a prison and she’s still using torture equipment. Iron maidens, Lavenza, really??
I’m a little concerned that Igor’s not around, though. Lavenza did the dream/reality/mind/matter speech instead. Where is he? I know he’s never around for spinoffs but considering my headcanons I’m very curious now. And why didn’t he like... tell Morgana that Lavenza said ruin is coming again? Even if we don’t count thirdsem events, Morgana still knows that he’s Hope, and he still has a bond with the Velvet Room. Talk to your cat damn it.
Oh no, she’s cute and Alice-in-Wonderland themed. I’m doomed.
She called it her “EMMA keyword” and I immediately blurted “what? keyword??” and then everything went directly to Hell immediately. Keyword was the key word, I guess. X’‘‘‘DDD
And you can tell it’s been six months, considering that these nerds got caught almost immediately. And got their hands bound. And got dragged to the throne room and forced to kneel!
...I’m doomed.
Someone at Atlus looked directly at this fandom and all the fanart of the interrogation and said, “Yeah, they’d be into that.” XD Steppy steppy. At least she’s not a rapist like Kamoshida, but jeeze, we keep getting beaten up and thrown in the dungeon by royalty. All we need is a princess and we’ve got a whole royal family!
Although, I suppose the prince didn’t bother with a dungeon. XD
I think it’s interesting that apparently the guards tried to take our Desires and failed. I guess being a persona-user means your mental state is stable enough that something like that can’t manifest.
Oh no, she’s cute. I love her. Another for the collection of Joker’s baby siblings. This is number... 5? She kind of reminds me of Jose, a little. I’ll be interested to see what she is, since she’s got amnesia right now. She can’t be just a straight AI.
But if she’s Yald’s mom, I’m also going to be majorly weirded out.
I really like the gameplay? It’s so interesting to see how the characters move and fight when they’re not limited to turn-based attacks. And I like being able to jump to different points and use them to ambush enemies. I don’t fully understand all of it yet, and it’s hard for me to keep an eye on things like status ailments and my teammates because everything is so chaotic, but I’m sure I’ll get it.
I did die to a miniboss, and when I hit “return to checkpoint”, it gave me the prompt to select a language for the voice acting again. I dunno what was up with that. X’D And I’m baffled by the concept that you can just leave the metaverse and come back and it restores all your health and stuff. No penalty. Time doesn’t pass. You didn’t waste a day. Have the kids finally learned that we are capable of entering and exiting more than once on the same day? Hallelujah.
...this boy is angry that we have to deal with the Jails instead of having a BBQ feast. Never change, Yusuke.
If you go by the crepe shop in Shibuya, Morgana still doesn’t think you’re a crepe person. I’m so tired, Morgana. It’s also a bit weird and forced that Iwai and Takemi are both out of town. We couldn’t have seen at least one of them? I know we’re not gonna be able to use those shops when we’re on the road, but we could worry about that then.
(Disturbingly easy to return a gold bar that you apparently bought off the dark web. Omg. That was hilarious.)
AND THEN YOU GET UP THE NEXT DAY AND ZENKICHI IS JUST IN YOUR HOUSE? SITTING IN THAT CHAIR? That is not the “detective chair”, sir, that is my boyfriend’s chair, and you need to move. At least he likes the curry, but jesus fuck. Sir, I have unresolved trauma of adults coming into my house to snoop into my business. Get out of my house. X’D
You give me a detective sitting in my boyfriend’s chair and then immediately send me to a taping of the same show in the same studio where I first met him. God, P5S, you’re trying to kill me.
Alice clearly knows that giving out the keyword is doing something. She’s being very deliberate about this. But I don’t think she’s actually aware of the Jail. Love that she’s so arrogant that she can’t imagine that Akira just... didn’t use the keyword, and that’s why she can’t control him.
So I guess the Jail Monarchs are called such because they’re imprisoning other people’s shadows in their distortions. So these are people that want control over something to the point that it distorted their worldview. Part of me wants to go off on a ramble about how this relates to Mementos or Apathy Syndrome, but I’ll wait and do that when I have more information. I’ve got some more of the dungeon to do, and I cannot wait to see Alice’s boss fight.
I’m having so much fun. I really missed these kids; they’re grea--
.......I hate these children. X’‘‘‘‘DDDD
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elaborate on the albedo thing. i’m curious
Thank you! I shall.
This is not to say that nobody can like Albedo or that he's a shitty character, this is just my thoughts on him and why I personally don't like him. It's also just gonna be weird and biased and ranty so be warned. Also, be warned of spoilers of the last event quest.
TLDR- He's so shilled by the narrative and the fact that he's always right about everything makes him come across to me as shallow and annoying.
(Longer explanation under the cut)
I have two main problems with Albedo. Firstly (and relevant to my second problem later) is the sheer amount of character shilling and praise he receives.
There is little to no character who mentions him in a way that isn't "Oh isn't Albedo the Best" or "Albedo knows everything" or something like that. Even when PhonographAlice is talking about the characters she dragged to the island she specifically highlights how brilliant Albedo is for no real reason (I know the two are family but she could've just called him "My dear Albedo" or something more affectionate than just saying "The brilliant Albedo). It's annoying for one because his presence slows the story so Paimon or someone can gush about how great he is, and it's fundamentally not interesting. Since nobody has anything bad to say about him he comes across as incredibly shallow and boring.
Secondly, and most importantly- He's never allowed to be wrong.
The thing that pissed me off so much at the end of the island quest to make a vague post about him because I wanted to rant about him for a while and needed the right opportunity to do so. Is that after Alice finishes her amazing and heartfelt speech to Klee and the others about why she set up the island for them (Kudos to the people who figured this twist out beforehand btw). Albedo basically admits "Oh yea I knew this all along" with NO CONTEXT* as to what made him figure this out or any attempt to justify it (not even an "Oh I've seen Alice do something similar once) nor is the possibility he could've known used in any meaningful way. The narrative decided it wanted to suck his dick more than the rest of Mondstat already does and decided to just make him right about the twist of the whole event quests. He's never given the chance to be questioned in a meaningful capacity, to have anything besides a small setback. Even when he claims that he was wrong about the traveler being anything but a normal human in his sidequest the camera immediately pans back to him to show that- NOPE! He was right about that too! If he was allowed to be wrong, if he was allowed to do something that actually causes harm to someone (outside his vague "Oh I can destroy Mond but I won't actually explain how or why. Let him make an actual mistake) then maybe he could actually feel like a fleshed-out character, but since the game won't let him have any flaws he ends up incredibly shallow. If he were a major character in the story at large I would call him a borderline Gary-Stu. Everyone loves him despite the fact his personality is just kinda boring, and the portions of the narrative he is in all serve to make him look good. He's undeveloped, boring, and so praised by the narrative that it stops being interesting and just becomes boring at best and outright annoying at worst. He is my least favorite playable character, and I do not like him at all.
(*I will admit I didn't see any of his optional dialogue before the last quest so there is a possibility I missed something)
To contrast this I'll discuss another character who had a similar problem with being overshilled but was actually done well.- Keqing. Keqing's introduction is everyone in her organization and even the gods themselves praising her for being against the gods. Her first interactions with the player can come across as incredibly rude and insensitive and yet the traveller will praise them anyway. I did not like Keqing when I first saw her.
Keqing, however, is forced to question herself and her beliefs. Ganyu doesn't like her blatant dismissiveness of Rex Lapis, and when Rex Lapis does step down and she and the Liyue Government have to work in the world without him, Keqing actually learns to understand what he did for the world, she still supports ending the age of gods but she actually grows as a person from the experiences she undergoes. That growth is what made me like Keqing. Albedo needs an opportunity to be wrong. He needs to get character development, and I don't know if the game will actually give it to him.
Minor things- I don't know Albedo's backstory too well beyond the basics, so I don't have an opinion on that specifically. The fact that he's an artificial human is cool and if his vague "I could destroy Mondstat" thing was actually explored (I don't think it will) I think it could be a good way to actually give him some depth. His personality, again because he's so shallow, is just kinda "meh" to me. If you played up his aloofness to the point it actually pushed people away that could be cool, but the game doesn't seem to want to play it that way.
#genshin impact spoilers#random personal rant#lights plays genshin impact#rant#long post#people are free to explain why they like him or provide examples of him being wrong#just don't be an ass about it#ask#anonymous
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Grief (Pt. 1)
A/N #1: Finally wrote the first part of my “Rowan’s death” story. It’s around 5000 words long, so I divided it into two parts to make it easier to read. This is based on what went on in the game, with the original dialogue mostly intact, but I added stuff to fill in what went on between various part of the chapter and to better illustrate Alice’s reaction.
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"Avada Kedavra!"
As she heard those words, Alice couldn't help but stare at the green light that was coming out of Rakepick's wand. It felt like everything was in slow-motion, the light slowly making its way to Ben. As she was about to close her eyes, she saw a flash of blue and black pushing Ben aside, the green light hitting it instead.
"ROWAN!" she heard herself shout.
"No!" she heard Ben say as he stared in disbelief.
"Khanna..." she heard Merula whisper.
She looked from Rowan's body to where Rakepick was standing, feeling the rage growing in her body.
"We warned you that you owed 'R' a friend's life. Consider that debt collected," said Rakepick with her usual smug grin.
Alice felt herself getting up on her feet and lunging at her as she let out an animalistic growl. Before she could reach Rakepick, she disapparated, leaving Alice grasping at air. Realizing she was gone, her shoulders slumped as she turned her head to see her best friend's body, lifeless.
"No..." mumbled Ben as he approached the body with the others.
Alice, Merula, and Ben knelt next to Rowan, observing her, hoping, perhaps, that she was not...
"She's not breathing," said Merula, her eyes widening.
"No, no... There's got to be some spell... There has to be something we can do!" said Alice, shaking Rowan's body, hoping to wake her up. "This can't be the end... Rowan can't be... dead."
"The Killing Curse... There's no coming back..." replied Merula in a soft voice, still staring at Rowan's corpse.
"Rowan... She's gone," whimpered Ben.
They stared in disbelief at the young Ravenclaw's body. None of them had even considered this turn of event. None of them knew what Rowan had been doing in the forest. This couldn't be real...
"I'll go fetch a professor," said Merula, slowly getting up.
"We'll take her... I mean... We'll take Rowan to the edge of the forest. Just in case Dementors came back. Ok, Ben?" said Alice, looking at the Gryffindor boy.
Ben nodded. Alice took Rowan under her shoulders while Ben took her legs. Slowly, following Merula, they made their way out of the Forest. They laid Rowan down on the soft grass at the edge of the Forest as Merula began running toward the castle. Ben and Alice sat beside the body in silence, both of them still in shock. Alice wasn't yet fully realizing what had happened, while Ben slowly realized someone had died protecting him.
About 20 minutes later, they saw Merula running back, followed by the Heads of House, Hagrid, and Dumbledore. As they saw Rowan's body on the ground, they all let out a gasp, except for Hagrid, who let out a sob. While Flitwick and McGonagall were both making sure that Alice and Ben were uninjured, Merula explained what had happened to the other Professors. Hagrid gently took Rowan in his arms, cradling her body as he let out a few sobs. They all slowly made their way back to the castle.
When they entered the castles, Hagrid and the professors made their way to the infirmary with Madam Pomfrey, while the three students walked toward their respective Common Rooms. Merula went down to the gloomy dungeons, while Alice and Ben went up the silent staircase until they reached the fifth floor, where they separated without a word.
Alice answered the riddle before entering the empty Common Room where a fire was still burning in the fireplace. Even with the fire, Alice felt cold as she made her way to her dormitory. She was thankful both her roommates were asleep when she entered. She didn't feel like talking. She didn't feel like being asked where Rowan was.
The next morning, after a restless sleep, she was awoken by Tulip shaking her.
"Alice! Alice! Something is going on! We are supposed to go to the Great Hall for an announcement! Rumour is that someone died last night. I thought it might be you until I remembered seeing you when I woke up. Who do you think it is? By the way, where's Rowan?" asked Tulip as she looked at the empty bed next to Alice before looking back at her. Alice simply looked down. "Oh dear..." whispered Tulip.
Alice got out of bed and got dressed before following Tulip to the Great Hall. When she entered, she noticed the tables were gone and that the Hall was darker than usual, with only daylight and a few torches providing some light. As she made her way toward the front, she overheard Barnaby whispering: "Everyone is here... So it's true."
"I can't believe Rowan died last night," replied Ismelda.
"I heard that Alice, Merula, and Ben were there..." shared Liz.
When she finally reached the front with Tulip, she noticed everyone around her was either crying or looked sad. All except for Merula, Ben, and herself. Perhaps the sadness would come later for them, she thought. Perhaps they were still getting over the shock of what they had seen.
"This doesn't seem real... The idea that Rowan is gone..." she said in a soft voice.
"Gone forever," replied Ben, emotionless, Alice feeling a chill going down her spine as she heard those words.
"It only just happened. You're in shock. We all are," said Tulip as she approached the group of three.
"It's different for us. We watched it happen," pointed out Merula.
"I still don't understand how... Why Rowan was even there... It happened so fast..." said Alice, looking down.
"Actually... Alice, I think I may know why Rowan was in the forest last night," said Penny as she approached her friend.
"Dumbledore's here," whispered Andre before Alice could say anything.
Dumbledore made his way to the platform where the other teachers were standing and stood behind his lectern.
"Penny, what do you mean you know why Rowan was in the forest?" whispered Alice, hoping she could get an explanation before Dumbledore's speech.
"Let's talk later. In private," replied Penny, looking at Dumbledore.
Alice let out a sigh before looking up at the Headmaster.
"Last night, we suffered an unimaginable loss at the hands of unimaginable evil," started Dumbledore. "Rowan Khanna, a devoted student and friend, sacrificed her life to save another's."
As he said those words, Alice noticed Ben looking down. He seemed frustrated.
"There is no more noble deed," continued Dumbledore. "So today, we will not waste words on Rowan Khanna's killer, whom I assure you will be brought to justice."
"You can count on that," muttered Merula through gritted teeth, before Liz gave her a nudge with her elbow so that she would keep quiet.
"Today, we gather as one Hogwarts community to grieve, remember and honour Rowan and her final heroic act. Grief takes many forms. And it takes time," said Dumbledore, looking at all the students gathered in front of him. "Sadness... Fear... Anger... There are no wrong feelings. It is important in trying times that we be kind and patient with one another. And never forget that Rowan Khanna died a hero."
Hearing that Rowan was dead from the Headmaster, Alice felt a shiver down her spine. It was as if, until now, she was hoping it was perhaps just a horrible nightmare. Hearing some of her friends next to her sobbing made it all too real. Part of her just wanted to run out of the Great Hall...
"Some of you may know it was Rowan's ambition to teach ay Hogwarts one day. By constantly pursuing new knowledge and instilling a love of learning in ourselves and others, we can honour Rowan's dream. For now, I have temporarily suspended new lessons to give everyone time to grieve. But remember that if we let Rowan's noble goal be a guiding light in these dark times, then, just like this light," said the Headmaster as he raised his lighted up wand, "the memory of Rowan Khanna - a clever, brave, driven, and loyal companion - will shine on."
At the end of his speech, everyone slowly raised their wands, lightening them up in honour and in memory of Rowan.
After a moment, students started to walk out of the Great Hall, wondering what to do with themselves. Alice wanted to leave, but she knew Penny wanted to tell her something important, so she waited next to the door, looking at Penny, who was comforting her sister. As she stood there, lost in her thoughts, she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Charlie before he hugged her. She stood there, not reciprocating the hug, as she felt like she was out of breath, needing space. Charlie, realizing she was standing still, took a step back, looking worried.
"Alice... Are you ok?" asked Charlie.
"Not really..." softly replied Alice, as she looked at the floor, rubbing her arm.
"Of course... That was a stupid question to ask," said Charlie, rubbing the back of his neck.
"No... It was not. It shows concern," said Alice, looking up into Charlie's warm brown eyes.
"I am concerned. You just witnessed something terrible. I'm surprised you're not in the infirmary," replied Charlie.
"Rowan would want me to be strong. Even when I had a cold, she would drag me to our classes," said Alice, a strained smile appearing on her lips because of the memory.
"True... But still, I'm worried. I..." started Charlie before being interrupted by Penny.
"Alice? Can we talk?" asked Penny.
"Yeah... I'll talk to you later," said Alice to Charlie before walking away with Penny.
Charlie looked at his girlfriend walking away, wrinkling his brows as he pursed his lips.
When Alice and Penny finally found an empty corridor, the young Hufflepuff stopped and turned to her friend.
"Alice... I'm glad we can talk in private. How are you holding up?" asked Penny.
"Numb? It's like it hasn't completely sunk in yet that Rowan is gone... Even if Dumbledore said she was..." replied Alice, letting out a sigh. She would probably get that question from everyone she knew.
"I know. It's as if Rowan could walk by us right now, off to study," said Penny, her shoulders slumping.
"It happened so fast, Penny... Instant," replied Alice as she felt a tightness in her chest.
"I can't imagine what you've been through, Alice. Dumbledore said there are no wrong feelings," said Penny, trying to comfort her friend.
"No wrong feelings and so many questions..." said Alice, looking out the window toward the Forbidden Forest.
"Like, why was Rowan in the Forbidden Forest last night?" asked Penny, following her friend's gaze.
"Yes. You said you knew," said Alice, looking back at Penny.
"I think so. Do you remember that night Bill taught us the Sea Urchin Jinx?" asked Penny.
"Vaguely? Remind me," said Alice, scrunching her eyebrows, trying to figure out what that jinx had to do with Rowan's death.
"It was after Madam Pomfrey was petrified. Bill kept you, Ben, Merula, and Charlie to talk about the Cursed Vaults... And Rowan and I wanted to stay and help, too. But Bill wanted to keep it to just those of you who were in the Buried Vaults with Rakepick," said Penny.
"It was for your own safety, yours and Rowan's," explained Alice.
"I know. You told me about 'R' the day in the Courtyard when Ben cast Langlock on Charlie. So I understood. But Rowan didn't understand..." said Penny before looking away. "Oh Alice... I've done something terrible..."
"Penny, tell me. Please, tell me everything," said Alice, pleading, as she sat down on a bench.
"Well, you remember what you told us before Ben langlocked Charlie in the Courtyard? That the wizard that escaped on his way to Azkaban was part of 'R,' which is not a person but a dangerous secret organization of which Rakepick is a member, and that he was after you," said Penny, sitting down next to the young Curse-Breaker.
"Yeah..." said Alice, raising an eyebrow.
"I told Rowan what I knew about 'R' and Rakepick. I know you wanted to keep 'R' a secret from anyone who wasn't in the Buried Vault..." said Penny, looking down.
"For your protection. I doubt I'd have told you if you weren't with Charlie when I'd needed to tell him," pointed out Alice.
"I know. And I explained to Rowan that I was only talking about 'R' so she could understand what you're facing," said Penny, looking back at Alice.
"And did it help Rowan understand why I'd been so preoccupied?" asked Alice.
"Yes, but it also made her want to protect you the way you're always protecting us. So she had been secretly following you from a distance," explained Penny.
"Ever since you both left that classroom?" asked Alice.
"She told me that was her plan. It would explain why she was in the Forbidden Forest," replied Penny before letting out a sigh, her shoulders slumping.
"I was so focused on what we were doing, I had no idea Rowan was following me, watching over me..." said Alice, looking down as she shook her head.
"If I hadn't told Rowan about 'R,' then what happened wouldn't have happened," said Penny, sniffing.
"You can't blame yourself, Penny," said Alice, looking back at her friend as she rested her hand on hers.
"But who else is there to blame?" asked Penny.
Alice let out a sigh as she looked away. "Rakepick is the one who killed Rowan, but... I blame myself. If not for me, no one would know about 'R.' Rowan never would've been following me. Perhaps it would have been better if Rowan had never met me at all..."
"Don't say that. Rowan valued your friendship more than anything," said Penny as she took Alice's hand between hers, squeezing it lightly. "I hope it wasn't a mistake, telling you all of this."
"You've only told the truth. Now at least I know why Rowan was there last night. She was being the best she'd been to me from the start, looking out for me one last time..." said Alice, looking outside the window behind her as she took a deep breath.
"I don't mean to interrupt," said a voice behind Alice.
Alice turned around to see Tonks, who clearly seemed uncomfortable.
"I mean, I know I'm interrupting... You may have even heard already..." continued Tonks, rubbing the back of her neck as she looked away from the two girls.
"It's alright. What is it, Tonks?" asked Alice. Life didn't stop just because Rowan's life had...
"Everyone's to report to their Common Rooms for an important announcement," said Tonks.
"About Rowan?" asked Penny, surprised.
"I'm not sure," shrugged Tonks. "I'm not sure about anything anymore. Especially with you, Alice... Do we talk about it? Do you even want to talk about it?"
"Rowan is your friend, too, Tonks," said Alice. "I mean... Was your friend... Our friend..."
"Yes... But not in the same way that Rowan was your friend," pointed out Tonks.
"It's true. Everyone knows, it's always been you and Rowan, from our first day here..." remarked Penny.
"From my very first day at Hogwarts..." mumbled Alice, looking down once again as she recalled the first time she met Rowan in Diagon Alley.
Penny and Tonks didn't say a word as they looked at their friend. She clearly was struggling to cope with what had happened, but she seemed to bottle up all her emotions. She was still trying to be the strong one. She was still trying to be the protector. How could they tell her she could let go? That it was ok to grieve. That there was no shame in crying, in showing emotions. That they were there if she needed to talk. They just knew all too well that she would fake a smile, say everything would be fine, and walk away. The only person she ever seemed to confide in was Rowan...
"Well... I suppose we should go to our Common Rooms, hear this announcement..." finally said Tonks.
"Yes, let's go," said Alice as she stood up along with Penny.
They made their way together until they reached the staircases, the Hufflepuffs going down, and Alice continuing up on her own.
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A/N #2: Hope you enjoyed it! This story is partly inspired by the “Low Energy” prompt from @yantarnii 2018 Inktober challenge. Part 2 is here.
#year 6#hphm fanfic#hogwarts mystery fanfic#hphm#hogwarts mystery#hogwarts mystery mc#hphm mc#alice beaumont#charlie weasley#charlie weasley x mc#Charlie x Alice#charlie weasley x alice beaumont#penny haywood#nymphadora tonks#tulip karasu#rowan khanna#hagrid#albus dumbledore#merula snyde#ben copper#patricia rakepick#andre egwu#barnaby lee#liz tuttle#ismelda murk#fanfic
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A musketeers rewatch (that nobody asked for) 1x08
In which Richelieu almost gets his husband killed
We start with Labarge (spl?) being escorted through the streets of Paris by musketeers. He is played by that guy who always plays violent brutes with few if any lines of dialogue.
Red guards show up and demand that the prisoner is handed over to them. Then Labarge beats the crap out of them until the musketeers intervene. Not before a red guard is killed thou. By another red guard attempting to strike at Labarge.
The dead man is called Captain Trudeau. And the red guard who killed him blames the musketeers.
Now they’re fighting each other! Male egos...
Treville says Trudeau was given fair warning and it’s his own fault he’s dead. Kind of harsh. Richelieu retorts that Treville had no business arresting a regional intendant without coming to him first. I’m really struggling to see Labarge in the role of regional intendant, but I guess that’s the point. Treville shoots back that he’s a violent criminal who subjected Gascony to a reign of terror. And Richelieu says that the man exceeded his authority and he was in the process of calling him back before the musketeers intervened. I know I’m supposed to take the musketeers side here, but I really see no reason to doubt Richelieu.
Treville is mad and says any of his musketeers could defeat any of the red guards and Louis immediately makes a bet! So there we are, that’s the plot sorted out. I love their bickering thou xD
Richelieu looks so panicked, poor dear! He knows he doesn’t stand a chance but he can’t afford to back down.
Constance and D’artagnan are being cute and domestic!
D’artagnan apologizes for the rent being overdue. Nice reference to the books! But in the books he doesn’t apologize, he is quite insulted that some commoner would even dare to bother him with such trivialities. Much more realistic to a noble of the era, but I guess not something a modern audience would sympathise with.
Here Bonacieux actually tells him off thou and that’s too far in the other direction, kind of takes me out of the story.
Treville is so excited about this contest! Bless!
The entry fee is 30 livres and our boys haven’t got it. It’s time to go womanizing! In the church.
Aramis knows all the women there, of course.
“It’s a requiem mass not a party at Madame Angel’s” - and then they cross themselves lol.
Labarge has destroyed D’artagnan’s farm “as a warning to other local landowners” because Dart’s father was “greatly respected”. But Dart had done nothing to him and his father is long dead? I don’t get this.
Porthos can’t lie for shit and Alice helps him out cause she fancies him! That’s cute!
Alice has put on a colourful dress and her maid is judging her.
Porthos says it must be great for her to have all of her husband’s things to remember him by and I thought he was talking of his own lack of things to remember his mother by but Alice responded by giving him her husband’s solid gold candle snuffer! So was he fishing for that the whole time? It really comes across more like he wasn’t but then took the opportunity.
D’artagnan proclaims he is ready and Athos just smiles. And proceeds to provoke him with tales of Labarge being comfortable in the Bastille with his “every whim attended to”. But we had a scene before of Labarge being fed disgusting prison food and talked down to by a guard, so not true lol.
Doesn’t stop D’art from barging into Richelieu’s office screaming thou.
Richelieu offers him patronage and D’art turns it down. This episode almost feels like the book.
“As a citizen of France I demand my rights” - you are a subject of the King. Shut up.
Milady overheard the whole thing!
“Your fascination with these musketeers seems inexhaustible.” - lol Armand, look who’s talking!
Milady: “I do everything for you.” Richelieu: “Permit me to doubt that.” - but in the last episode you trusted her to manage the Ninon thing even in the event of your death?
“There was a time I found your independence of spirit arousing. I must warn you, Milady, that time is now past.” - this line is gross and unnecessary. But also, what did she do between last episode and this one to change his opinion like that? I guess the writers just needed him to discard her for plot reasons, but it could have been better written.
Red guards arrest a protesting Bonacieux! This really is the book episode!
Bonacieux: “You want me to spy on him [D’art]?” Richelieu: “I can see you are a man of quick intelligence.”
Why is his office so huge and empty thou, with one little desk in it?
D’artagnan... steals a red guard uniform. And breaks into the Bastille. Wow, okay, totally forgot about that bit.
And he does the whole “my name is D’artagnan of Lupiac in Gascony” thing again. And tries to force a confession out of Labarge.
And Labarge would have killed him if Athos had not shown up.
Athos: “What did I tell you about thinking before you act!” D’artagnan: “I can’t help it, I’m not like you!” Athos: “You are, more than you know.” - oh, you mean you also didn’t think before you strung up your wife from a tree? Yeah, i see that.
A milathos scene! Athos says he won’t attack a defenceless woman and Milady laughs as though at the idea that she is defenceless, but it breaks my heart cause dude, you very much did do just that.
“I have to make a living somehow, what better patron could I have?” Milady says of Richelieu and she is right!
“I’m a soldier, just like you.” - YES! SHE IS!
She tries to come on to him for casual sex and he rejects her. With difficulty, but still :((
She gives him “fair warning” to stay away from her.
Papa Treville looks so proud looking at Athos and D’art training!
Richelieu tells Labarge that he “overstepped his limits” and “ruled Gascony like a petty tyrant”. Lebarge says he just gave people the needed encouragement to pay their taxes and Richelieu replies: “Perhaps if more of the taxes you collected had reached the treasury, I’d be inclined to overlook your excesses.” LOL!
Constance sells her stuff to get D’art the money. And then Milady gives it to him before she can. And D’art doesn’t decline even thou all he knows of her is that she left him to take the the blame for her murder and lied about Ninon. He literally doesn’t give a fuck as long as he can enter this fight!
Milady looks so pretty in this scene thou!
Porthos and Alice are getting on very well!
So Milady gave D’art some pendant with a flower on it together with the money as a “token of friendship” and now Bonacieux has nicked it.
D’art: “I found a patron of my own.” Aramis: “Wealthy widow?” D’art: “Not as far as I know.” - so like, with Milady telling her that her lover tried to kill her and Athos’s dead wife coming back from the dead to kill him and Athos clearly recognising the woman at Ninon’s trial, D’art still hasn’t had the penny drop? Or he has and just doesn’t want to tell Athos that he’s taking his wife’s money?
Aramis is the best shot, Porthos is the best at hand to hand combat and D’art does pretty well with the sword, but we don’t see Athos try that.
And Richelieu has commissioned Labarge! xD
Who beats the crap out of his other men. That can’t be good for morale! Like for real, what must the red guards be thinking? Richelieu has made a criminal who killed their captain the new captain! And mocks them publicly for not being as good as him in a fight!
The pendant is also now in Richelieu’s hands.
Treville was spying on Richelieu!
Bonacieux bought Constance a bracelet to celebrate his good luck of getting a contract. See, I love when the antagonists are not complete monsters and get human moments like this!
“Becoming a musketeer was the best thing that ever happened to me... until I met you.” - Oh Porthos! That was smooth!
And Alice offers to support him if he leaves the musketeers.
D’art is looking for his pendant and doesn’t tell Constance about it when she asks if he’s lost something. He knows he’s doing wrong but the glory is beckoning so he can’t help it.
Constance runs after him to give him a goodbye kiss and Bonacieux sees them. That’s what you get for flaunting your affair in the open street. I mean, even if he hadn’t been there, these other people are all her neighbours, who would gossip.
Treville nominates himself and the musketeers are like “this is bullshit”. I don’t blame them. But Papa is just trying to protect them and he knows he’ll get their resentment as a reward! So sad!
“Was your life so bad, Constance? Was I ever cruel to you, did I beat you?” - this is good writing. It would have been so boring if they had made him into a physically abusive brute.
Threatening her with killing D’art isn’t cool thou!
Athos accuses Treville of having a midlife crisis and wanting “one last moment of glory”. And when he leaves, Treville just rubs his face and he looks so tired!
And Constance breaks up with D’art! Meaning he loses the fight and her on the same day, I do feel bad for him.
Constance is right to point out that she has a lot more to lose here thou!
Treville’s plain brown tunic looks really bad without the cape over it. But the tunic he’s looking at in preparation for the fight looks better at least.
There are only two little stands of courtiers, but it could be worse.
“You only needed 30 livre, not a wife” - Aramis, you gentleman.
Treville’s fighting outfit looks good, I was right. But he is getting his ass kicked. What must Richelieu be thinking! I don’t think he knew Treville would be the one to face Labarge.
I went back to check and we don’t get his reaction to Treville’s name. But when Labarge is announced he doesn’t look particularly happy.
He also looks very distracted when the King addresses him during the fight.
Treville stops to grin at the King while Labarge is getting his breath back and Labarge attacks when his guard is down. He’s done for!
D’art steps in and in 30 seconds flat it becomes an all out brawl between the musketeers and red guards.
Louis says that Labarge broke the rules and Treville may nominate a champion. So D’art gets his turn to shine. But what rules? Attacking when Treville was not looking? Stepping on Treville’s shoulder with his foot? I guess Louis can make up the rules as he goes along lol xD
I feel sorry for poor Treville, being utterly humiliated!
And Labarge shouts that he did burn D’art’s farm down right in the middle of the fight. A confession in front of the King. He’d be dead even if he won!
D’art kills him and Louis declares the musketeers the winners. And takes the prize money for himself because “rules were broken and we do need to collect our taxes somehow.”
“I admire loyalty, more than any other virtue” - that’s true I think? I think it holds up during the show, but I’m not a Louis expert lol.
At least he makes D’art a musketeer finally! And D’arts teary face and all the hugging is quite moving.
Milady in her pretty red dress gets told off by the cardinal. I love how he says “comtesse de la fere”, but he does ask an important question. Why did she give D’art money to compete? Because Richelieu threatened her at the beginning of the episode and she was looking for a new prospect? She tells him she wants to bring him over to “their side” but that doesn’t square with giving him money to win his musketeer commission lol. Well, Armand, that’s what you get for threatening your employees I guess.
And Alice and Porthos break up because she can’t handle that much excitement and he can’t give up soldiering.
Porthos and Aramis share a cute moment.
D’art moves out with some poisonous words for Constance. I can’t really blame him in the heath of the moment, but if memory serves he never really apologised while she did.
And Constance sees him with Milady! And closes the curtain before she can see him tuning her down! Poor Constance!
And poor Milady! Her position with the Cardinal depends on this and he doesn’t give a fuck now he’s a musketeer.
Overall this was a very good episode. Such a relief after last time. Next up, the stupid assassination attempt on the Queen. Oh joy!
Red guards killed: Captain Trudeau
Women killed: none! yay!
Best dressed: Milady and Richelieu! Look, they match!
#i wish i could get a clearer picture but this scene is moving all the time ughh#the musketeers#milady de winter#cardinal richelieu#trevilieu#captain treville#porthos#musketeers rewatch
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SNK 122 - Avalanche
Who would have thought when it happened that Eren kissing Historia’s hand would be THE moment of Shingeki no Kyojin. Imagine you’re picking up this lovely series for the first time. You see a fresh take on the survival-horror genre and think, “I could get into this.” A couple volumes in, you discover the zombie horde tale was a clever cover for a fleshy mecha gimmick. “Weird,” you think, “but ok.” Now it’s ten years and 130+ chapters later. We’re all reading a retelling of the Norse Myth of Creation wrapped in a cozy WWII disguise.
What do any of these words mean? Join me under the cut. It’s time for lore.
Thoughts on the chapter first. We finally get to see the life and times of Founder Ymir. Not surprisingly, she appears to be of vague Northern European origin in what appears to be the Middle Ages. The ancient Eldians were Vikings basically, but back then they weren’t even Eldian. They were human just like everyone else…until they weren’t.
Founder Ymir’s story eerily mirrors that of 104th Ymir. As a small child, she was nothing more than a scapegoat. Born a servant girl, she empathized with the group of pigs that had been captured. She released them, no doubt ruining someone’s feast in the process. A soldier asks who the offending party is and we see a great panel of Ymir surrounded by pointing fingers John Wick style.
Much like Mr. Wick, Ymir goes on the run only in a much different context. John Wick, in his universe, is the most prolific assassin alive. He’s on the run, but he’s not defenseless. Ymir is a child and is defenseless. The men (and I do emphasize the grown men) that chase after her never perceive her as a threat. They’re having a sporting time terrifying and slowly killing this innocent child. Running out of energy and time, Ymir happens across a humongous tree and decides an odd hiding spot is better than none at all. Entering the base of the tree, she falls down into an unseen hole – like Alice into the looking glass – and just as she’s about to lose consciousness, she comes in contact with what can only be described as…this.
A parasite? An alien lifeform? An ancient Eldridge manifestation? Maybe. Just like another old Myth there isn’t really a clear answer nor will there be. ‘Tis the Source of all Organic Matter and it was always there it was, lad.
We get several lessons here about how history can warp our perceptions of the individual players in both a positive and negative sense. Ymir never made a deal with the Devil to get her overwhelming power. She literally fell backwards into a divot and came out big as a mountain. On the other hand, the Founding Titan was not this ethereal being of divine beauty. The First Titan was grotesque to look at. It had no true face and its ribs were exposed, which I guess makes sense for a creature that large. Founder Ymir was a victim of circumstance and oppression. She has the power of nature and God at her fingertips but has only known servitude. That’s why there is no objection when she hears the following.
Not only is there CLEARLY no consent here, but I’m fairly sure Ymir is barely a teenager here so – Double Dose of Yikes!
Fittingly (or tragically, who can tell at this point), Ymir has three daughters: Maria, Rose and Sina. She raises her children while helping her nation conquer the lands around them with her unmatched power. However, thirteen years after her eldest child is born, a rogue soldier makes an attempt on the king’s life and Ymir leaps in front of the spear; one final act of indentured service.
Sort of. She is told correctly that she isn’t in danger. No doubt she has come back from far worse injuries than a spear to the collar. King Fritz tells her to get up and continue being a slave and Ymir says fuck you with her whole chest and gives up the ghost right there.
This shocking development leads to two things. First, we see the most graphic panel in a series full of gore and body horror as the children of Ymir are forced by Dear Old Dad to cannibalize their mother’s still-cooling corpse in order to obtain her power. Then, we see Ymir wake up in what we now know as the Paths dimension. Here she shall stay until a certain someone is able to receive and respond to her call for help.
That’s all for the backstory, now what about the source? It’s been documented well that Isayama loves myth and folklore especially of the Norse variety. Near the beginning of #122 we see Ymir fall into a tree that Momtaku and her co-host Luna succinctly describe as “both phallic and vulvic at the same time.” This seems like a clear reference to Yggdrasil, The World Tree. Yggdrasil is an interdimensional bridge with each branch connecting to a different realm, not unlike the branches we see in the PATHS dimension. Then we have the spine-like creature that latches on to Ymir like Symbiote under the tree. See if this looks familiar.
Nidhogg is a serpent that is known for eating away at the roots of the World Tree. It also has a famous rivalry with an unnamed eagle that sits atop Yggdrasil. A constant struggle between freedom and entrapment which is of course a central theme to this story. I’ve seen meta theorize that if the briny parasite represents the serpent of the Tree, that Eren Jaeger would represent the eagle the overlooks it and seeing how he’s spent most of this tale with wings on his back, that makes about as much sense as anything else.
It’s all a lead-up to Ragnarok: the End of the World.
Yup, that looks like the end to me.
When the First King lined up those Titans to form those walls, he couldn’t have known someone would find the one loophole to circumvent his failsafe. The reason the Coordinate Powers only fully activate for those of Royal Blood. It isn’t because of their genes alone. Ymir is a slave to the Royal Family, even centuries after her physical death. It isn’t until someone gives her a choice that she even thinks to take a different course of action.
What a charmer. This panel and the one that follows are both very important to me. Zeke, in his frenzy is a spitting image of King Fritz. Yes, the are directly related but also, I think there is something to be said of him taking on the form of Ymir’s greatest oppressor. After she hears Eren’s pitch to lend him her world-shattering power we see her eyes, full of tears, for the first time. Not an accident. It’s the first time in 2,000 years anyone has treated her like a person.
This is not an official theory or anything but it’s how I interpret this. The title of this chapter ‘From You, 2,000 Years Ago’ is of great significance outside of how it mirrors the title of the very first chapter. Ymir was sending a message and when we remember the Attack Titan’s special trait of moving (and looking) forward it’s clear who the messenger was. The question then becomes, was Eren the only one who was able to answer the call? Yes, just not for the reasons you would think.
Technically, any of the Attack Titans (or any of them, I guess) could have unlocked the PATHS with enough work. The problem is, the only knowledge of Ymir’s story and the history of the Eldian people was with the Coordinate which, historically, was possessed by the Royal Line. It wasn’t until that fateful night when Grisha stole the Coordinate away that a very specific set of conditions could be met.
Once a single person of their own free will got even a glimpse of the tortured history and fate of Founder Ymir it was enough to set an incredibly complex series of events into motion. This is why the Attack Titan, even during the Great Titan War, can never listen to reason. They know what the end game is, thanks to Eren sending them snaps of that scenery.
Eren was special after all. Just not in the way we first thought. Funny that.
Stray Thoughts
- Keep in mind that the final panel of Eren’s new Titan exploding out of his severed head happens the instant it lands in Zeke’s hand. How must Gabi be feeling right now? You think you’ve slain the Devil of the Earth and all you’ve done instead is give him immense power and an army of unstoppable giants. Someone get the Bart cake gif in the replys.
- The most impressive part of seeing Ymir’s backstory is that it was largely done with no dialogue. Almost felt like we were reading a scroll or ancient tome. Credit to the author for crafting such a deep, rich world to explore. Somehow, Shingeki no Kyojin isn’t the story he’s always wanted to tell but it will rightfully be the one he is best known for.
- Once again Zeke blows a 3-1 lead by being an entitled shithead. He and the rest of his family knew the story of Ymir and the fate she suffered and still saw fit to not only keep her imprisoned but to use her as a tool to subjugate their own people. No tears from me, muchacho.
#snk meta#shingeki no spoilers#snk 122#eren jaeger#zeke jaeger#founder ymir#king fritz#congrats btw to the king#you have usurped capt gross for biggest heel in snk
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sentence prompts! C 18, 49 & 44 with Mazlek & sick Rami? I'd love that, I'm on a hurt/comfort roll right now xD
Joe has always been considered a pretty clumsy guy, but Rami’s clumsiness? That’s legendary.
Joe had known about it for a decade, even before his parter had started being publicly mocked for constantly running into furnitures on set, tripping on red carpets and dropping objects or injuring himself in inexplicable ways during interviews.
He had discovered it on day one of getting to know Rami Malek, coincidentally being also day one of bootcamp as Marines for the HBO series ‘The Pacific’.
They had just been given their uniforms and assigned a tent and a ‘foxhole buddy’ when they’d been told they’d start with something ‘simple and easy’: being dropped in the middle of an Australian pluvial forest with nothing but an old map to orient themselves, with their full gears and WWII riffles (which, by the way, only shot blanks) and with two hours of time to find the path back to the camp.
They had been divided in pairs and sent out with a salute and a ‘good luck, Marines’ that sounded a bit ominous.
Not even twenty minutes into their attempt at finding their bearings and moving around the forest, after Joe had already quoted all of his own ‘Jurassic Park’ character’s most famous lines, in a few moments of distraction he lost Rami completely.
“Fuck!” he swore, looking around with a rising sense of panic: “Snafu!?” he called, remembering they’d been told to always refer to other members of the cast with their characters’ names.
Receiving no answer and unable to see the other actor in the thick vegetation of the forest, he called again a few more times until he heard a faint: “Sledge!” that sounded equally disoriented and panicked.
“I’m coming for you, don’t move!” he replied immediately, starting to move through the plants and trees in the vague direction toward Rami’s voice.
“I don’t know where I am.” said loudly the other, adding: “In a ditch or something…” in a lower but still audible voice.
Joe found him leaning against the side of a hole in the heavily rooted ground, covered in dirt and holding his left arm close to his chest with his right hand, his riffle slung over his back.
“Looking for Wonderland, dear Alice?” he tried to joke, looking down at Rami who just clicked his tongue looking disappointed in himself.
“I think I’ve fucked up my elbow or something…” he sighed.
“Let’s get you back to camp then, so we can have it checked.” proposed Joe, trying to sound calmer than how the whole situation had made him.He reached out to help Rami up and then tried his damn best to get them both safely back to civilization.
The camp doctor said Rami’s arm was fortunately only sprained and was going to be fine in a few days. He suggested complete rest and prescribed him anti-inflammatory pills saying he could also experience a slight fever rise in the next hours as a consequence of the trauma.
So when Rami started wobbling on his seat at dinner and trashing around in his cot, Joe figured out he had to intervene, worrying Rami might worsen his injury.
“You’re burning up.” he declared, feeling Rami’s temperature with a hand over his forehead like his mother always did to him when he was little.
Rami just grumbled, having been in a grumpy mood all evening, but accepted Joe’s help with taking his pills and making sure his arm was perfectly immobilised as he lay back down on the mattress.
“Such a Marine I’d have been.” mumbled Rami as Joe was still sitting on his cot right next to him, looking down at him with a smile that tried to be reassuring.
“Do you think they’ll recast me?” he asked after a while, sounding insecure.
“No, they won’t.” replied Joe, sure of it.Both Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg had been so charmed by Rami’s acting and interpretation of Snafu that they’d never recast him for a minor injury on the first day of a month long bootcamp.
Rami nodded and tried to smile back at him, despite still feeling down, frustrated by his own clumsiness.
After that first accident, Joe demonstrated countless of time how much he was almost the same breed of clumsy specimen.
Rami demonstrated how recasting was absolutely not necessary, recovering in just a few days and giving an excellent performance on set when production started.
And they both learnt how to care for each other when they, inevitably, did something that resulted in weird injuries.
(am I unable to write hurt/comfort fic? Maybe.)(btw hey these events never happened irl, I’m a liar! And most importantly I feel bad for having hurt poor fictional!Rami)
Written for the 200 Dialogue Prompts
#drabble#mazlek#rami malek#joe mazzello#warning: hurt/comfort#anon request#prompt fill#200 dialogue prompts
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I'M LOST- send me a character, an au and a scenario to write a dialogue for (for example: spencer reid having to question his old crush, rockstar!reader)
rahhhh i am brainrotting about twilight again, hi bestie
So, popstar!reader who’s obviously internationally famous and a global sensation. But also, she’s in a sort of relationship with Carlisle. And I’m thinking like... them trending across the internet and whatnot after being caught on those fancy dinner dates.
so reputation tbh
"It's not a big deal," you hummed into the phone, still clad in Carlisle's shirt from the night before, taking the tray of room service from a wide-eyed waiter, clearly not briefed on who he was going to see in the room let alone prepared to see you in this state. You mouthed a thank you and slipped him a tip before spinning around and using your foot to close the door. "It's not like we were trying all that hard to be discrete," your publicist was on the other end, clearly not nearly as calm as you were knowing you and Carlisle kissing in some foreign restaurant was plastered all over the internet, you could already imagine the tags.
She wasn't, she went into a whole ordeal about how you needed to be more careful, take more security, choose more secluded spots and you made sure to offer an encouraging murmur while you clicked about your laptop, putting the phone on speaker to be able to look at the posts and eat your waffles at the same time. Carlisle was in the other room, he'd been saying he was going to shower for about an hour, but family calls and hospital emails kept getting in the way.
The posts weren't all that bad, quite cute actually, you made a mental note to take a screenshot of one of the pictures for your own stash of pics, actually feeling a little giddy seeing Carlisle open the door for you, cover the doorframe with his hand while you get out and reaching in to take your hand, the one with him kissing your cheek and holding your clutch after dinner was extremely swoon-worthy.
"Are we trending?" Carlisle expected as much, a few flashes and whispers at the restaurant made him realize your private, intimate table and secluded area in town wasn't going to stay between the two of you. Carlisle was very accepting of what came with being your boyfriend, he didn't mind the very many paparazzi that would always find you or the excited fans tagging him in pictures or edits or theories- it also didn't hinder him from continuing to be just as lovely and romantic as he was in private.
"Of course, you've got the whole world swooning," you noted between bites of waffle and ice cream, a breakfast your doctor boyfriend would definitely question. He breathed a little hum, a soft kiss placed to the back of your head as you leaned back against him. When hearing Carlisle's voice, your publicist immediately started talking to him as well, your giggle not hindering her at all as Carlisle spun your chair around and slipped a hand around your waist to pick you up, kisses planted wherever he had the chance as you stole another glance at the pictures.
"And you, my love, do I have you swooning yet?" he teased and he did, definitely did, he didn't need to do much to do so and you nodded, eager to let him know. He was pleased with that, still he held on ever tightly as he carried you with him to take that shower.
#absolutely obsessed with this concept omg#like if you have any ideas for full blurbs please don't hesitate to send them to me#popstar!reader#carlisle cullen#twilight dialogues#carlisle cullen x reader#monique's dialogue days#dear alice dialogue event
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Skam Italia episode 9 reaction
shout out to the sheer number of snake emojis in the comments on any clip featuring or mentioning Martino
Episode 9
Clip 1 - Silvia spills the beans
Skam Italia being educational, kinda! I’m going to try out this headache technique.
According to the subs I found, Sana’s janitor told her about it? … her housekeeper? That’s probably closer to what it was but I just like the idea of Sana going around striking up conversations with janitors.
But another version of the subs didn’t have that part at all so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dear Lord, Silvia, chill the hell out. Someone sitting in someone else’s car doesn’t mean they’re dating. Although lmao, Eva and Noora could have stood to learn that in season 2.
Actually, I do get how Silvia would be upset? She’s really jumping the gun but Edoardo just treated her like crap in front of people. I would probably be a little hurt that my friend was maybe hanging out with someone who hurt me. The problem with Silvia is that her motivation is less, “Eva, how could you associate with someone who’s treated me like garbage?” and more, “Eva, what were you doing with my mans???”
Evaaaaa, why did you trade that completely obvious look with Eleonora??? Just make it seem the most suspicious you can. I mean, if you don’t want to spill the whole truth about Edoardo digging for info on Eleonora, you can literally say “I studied for my exam in the car and he asked me about it” and technically that’s not a lie.
The flashbacks with Eva and Laura were pretty cute. Aesthetic hair-braiding!
I do like Sana immediately being like “lol why would you trust Laura” and bringing up the water throwing incident as a sort of logical evidence why Laura isn’t the greatest, as opposed to Vilde/Silvia saying something dumb and Islamophobic and Sana having to mention the water incident as proof of her loyalty. Also Silvia looks humbled by Sana mentioning she was defending Silvia’s honor.
Sana asking Silvia whether she has to meet her mother was a nice way of calming the situation for Eva’s sake while getting Silvia to leave before the problem can escalate. It was thoughtful for Silvia, too, as it gave her a chance to escape instead of digging the hole deeper.
I'm glad that the Edoardo lift had more plot relevance than just ship teasing (multi-tasking is A+) and I think that it’s good to illustrate how much it would break Eva is to lose a friend again. Her offering to let Silvia listen to the message she left Martino as proof is rather heartbreaking in its desperation. On the other hand, I don’t know how I feel about the emotional impact of this scene having to be more about poor Eva weeping and having to beg Silvia for forgiveness over something that was ultimately trivial and meant nothing, and that we as the audience know meant nothing, rather than Eva dealing with the guilt that she’s been carrying around for months over destroying her relationship with her best friend. That is the Big Secret Eva has been hiding from both her new friends and the audience so it probably needs more focus (which to be fair, is elaborated on in the bathroom scene later).
I saw some talk of how people thought it was an improvement that Silvia didn’t call Eva a slut, and while of course it’s nice that she didn’t do so, I don’t get why it’s better for Silvia not to call Eva a slut in this version since Noora directly confronts Vilde about it in the moment, it’s not like it was this casual misogyny in the show that went unaddressed. That was the point, it was a teachable moment. It’s certainly not worse that the moment wasn’t there, I just think it’s more about how it’s handled than anything else. (Also, I mean … Vilde being a jerk was specifically a tip off that something was going on with her.)
Clip 2 - Eva talks to a friendly serpent
Martino knows all the school drama and social scene. It is pretty damn shady of him to be like oh yeah, they didn’t invite you because that girl whose boyfriend you kissed, her friend is organizing it, when he is responsible for the apparent non-invite in the first place, or so he would think. But he’s so casual about it. Not much guilt when he tells her that. Maaaaybe a little more when she starts to tell him about what she’s dealing with at school? IDK.
Eva sounds less angry or frustrated, more defeated.
I’m still wondering what her arc is going to be? Because there isn’t that pressing question of “who are you?” and her not having her own identity, it’s like … I guess she’s questioning whether she’s become a bad person? Sort of? She has Silvia making assumptions about her being a bad person, Laura thinks she is a bad person based on events that really happened, and Gio is questioning why she hangs around with bad people. That could be an area to explore in terms of her relationship with Laura but I’m not all that sure how it would play regarding her and Gio since Gio has made many of the same mistakes she has, he can’t exactly talk.
Martino trying to pull some reverse psychology is cute because he can’t quite keep a straight face.
Sucks that this friendship is about to go down the toilet!
Clip 3 - Eva and the older girls
Heh, this angsty song gets cut off as soon as we establish that Maria does not give a crap who Eva is.
I always enjoy this scene and this advice. It’s one of the most underrated parts of season 1. These girls didn’t seem as invested as giving Eva some friendly advice but again, love that they get interested in their own sexual exploits rather than Eva’s and she ends up just walking away.
It’s nice that there was a totally logical, boring reason they didn’t get invites though how were they planning to invite everyone else once they stopped on Facebook? Word of mouth?
Mmm, I don’t know if I totally buy that Alice’s BFF doesn’t give a shit at all who Eva is? Of course her maturity is nice, and I can certainly buy that she doesn’t care enough to keep Eva from being invited to the party, but Alice got in a physical fight with this girl because she was that upset. . Like who were those girls accompanying Alice in the fight if not her friends? (At first they seemed like they wanted to hold Alice back but by the end it seemed like they were fighting as well.)
I think I’d have preferred if Maria was like, “Just between you and me, Federico is a fuckboy and I’m glad Alice can see the truth now,” or “I don’t like that my best friend was hurt, but I’m not petty enough to keep you off the list” or “I love Alice but she overreacts to everything and makes a lot of drama.” Or just some explanation for her total lack of fucks. The older Norwegian girls weren’t like, Iben’s best friends, correct? They weren’t even in the same grade? Maria has her BFF involved.
Clip 4 - Hippogriff
Fede, teach me your ways of absorbing information just as Sana showed us how to get rid of headaches.
Sana having an uncharacteristically soft moment and trying to deny it. She’s been really blunt with Silvia but their relationship has been all about helping Silvia with no apparent gain for Sana, except friendship.
Also she’s very reluctant to spread rumors, like this Sana goes from hard to soft pretty fast.
Federico and Laura leaving the men’s bathroom together sure adds a layer to Edoardo’s comment about Silvia hanging around the boy’s bathroom! That is just a thing these characters do, hook up in bathrooms. In S3 Martino can just wander into any men’s bathroom and find a girl to pretend to like.
Clip 5 - Eva and Laura and Alice
Nice use of music with the tense beat going as Eva drags off Laura, then it cuts off abruptly as Eva is about to get real and vulnerable.
This is easily the best acting Italian Eva has done so far. There have been a few “emotional” scenes where I thought she seemed too theatrical and not natural for the material but this was very good. I almost wanted them to stretch it out longer, as in the original, so we could get more of this performance.
And I’m pretty sure Laura was crying too by the end, which is very touching. I do think it’s one of S1’s best aspects how the Ingrid/Laura is not the villain, is actually the wronged party, but that she and Eva are able to come to a peaceful resolution.
It’s pretty sad that Eva made that little attempt at a wave back in the first clip. She really missed Laura.
Ha, I didn’t care for that Alice intro, though! Seeing her come up in the hallway definitely distracted from this intense, emotional acting between Eva and Laura. Especially because the moving music keeps going as she’s spying on them, and only cuts off when she throws her books down. I think it would’ve been more effective to keep the Eva-Laura shots going and keep us really engrossed in their dialogue, and then when Laura mentions Fede, suddenly cut to Alice standing like right there in the doorway and cut off the music, for a true jolt and change in the scene’s energy.
Alice’s actress looks so defeated as she realizes what a piece of shit her boyfriend is. And it’s nice that she apologizes and asks how Eva is doing. You know, before she inadvertently reveals Eva has been betrayed by a good friend.
“He looks like he cares about you” does that mean Martino looked pained when he told Alice about Eva and Fede? Boyyyy, why did you do such a stupid thing? (I know why, it’s still stupid.)
General Comments:
This has been a solid remake and overall they’re handling Eva’s emotional turmoil well. The point I’m wondering about is what Eva’s ultimate conclusion/personal statement is going to be since they’ve left out a lot of the questioning of her identity and insinuations that she is a follower not making her own choices. Season one’s strength lay a lot in that finale so I hope they have something cohesive for her character.
I am not Italian so if I misunderstood something or missed context, feel free to correct me.
If you got this far, thank you for reading!
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Servant Alice Profile
Avenger Alice Almarias
Servant Details: True Name: Alice Almarias Servant Class: Avenger Region of Origin: Pennsylvania, USA Age: ??? Faceclaim: Aqua from Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep
Servant Parameters:
Strength : B+
Agility: A
Endurance: B+
Luck: D-
Mana: A-
Noble Phantasm: A++
Servant Skills:
Wrathful Dog Rank C
As a human forced into multiple life changing situations by a being above humanity, her body and mind slowly transformed even if she didn’t want them to. This skill acts similar to Mad Enhancement, increasing her strength as it also lowers her sanity in turn. However, it also transforms her body into a more monstrous form that she sees her own body as at times. This form is a mix of a werewolf, dragon, giant, and a demon. This form drains more prana from her Master the more transformed she becomes, and she can turn on her Master within a second if the transformation gets too far.
Disengagement Rank B-
The ability to withdraw from the battlefield in the midst of combat or reset the battle conditions. At this ranking, it has the bonus effect of returning battle conditions to what they were at the beginning of the match (1st turn) and restores the condition of this Skill to the initial value. As a unyielding warrior, she has learned when it is good to run away from a battle and when to continue to charge into combat as well. With this skill is at this rank, she is given a slight speed increase when she runs away from a battle.
Eye of the Mind (True) Rank A+
This skill is a heightened capacity for observation, refined through training, discipline and experience. A danger-avoidance ability that utilizes the intelligence collected up to the current time as the basis in order to predict the opponent’s activity and change the current situation. This is not a result of talent, but an overwhelming amount of combat experience. A weapon wielded by none other than a mortal, gained through tenacious training. So long there is even a 1% chance of a comeback, this ability greatly improves the chances of winning. At this rank, She is capable of calm analysis of the abilities of the opponent as well as the battle conditions even when in danger and deduce an appropriate course of action after considering all possibilities to escape from a predicament. Hundreds of thousands of fights of different kinds have given her the ability to understand how a fight will go and how a foe will act when they make movements of a combative nature.
Magic Resistance Rank D
While she was a normal human all of her lives, she gained plenty of knowledge on how magic works and how to protect herself from it. Though without the ability to call upon all of her years of skills and abilities, her protection from magic is less than what it normally would be if she was summoned at her peak.
Servant Noble Phantasm:
Castle Canem Diebus Fatalibus; A Castle of no Escape
A++ Rank, Anti-Unit
A large castle that reaches into the sky, where the outer walls are the least defensive of the entire castle. A courtyard with a single chair, a sleeping beast, and a woman covered in scars innumerable. The number of floors in this castle is hard to count, but they all are filled with corpses in many forms of decay. Some have barely decayed and only miss what they lost in life, while others have skin and muscle hanging onto the bone by a small amount of connective tissue. This is a Reality Marble based upon how she sees herself, how she wants to be even in life; locked away from anyone or anything that she could hurt by being around them. The person drawn into the Reality Marble ends up on the highest floor of the castle, unable to escape unless they make their way down to the Courtyard and kill the woman in the center.
Each floor of the castle is manned by a different Corpse that takes on a different classification that Servants can take on. Saber, Archer, Lancer, Assassin, Caster, Rider, and Berserker. To move down to the next floor, the Corpse with a Servant class must be killed, else they will never be allowed to escape as the corpse hunts them down to kill them.
The Castle, her visualization of it is based upon the Houska Castle, a place she once visited in life. A castle meant to defend the common man from the hole to Hell. A fitting place to keep the Dog from escaping and ruining the lives of those around her.
Servant Lines:
Summon
I am Avenger, though perhaps that is the best for a monster like me…
You can call me anything you want. So long as you fight for mankind, I’ll be by your side.
Level Up
I still like this feeling of getting stronger.
Ascension 1
Oh? This armor? It’s one of my favorite sets, Master.
Ascension 2
You… Still want me to be stronger? Are you sure?
Ascension 3
… I can’t tell… I can’t tell if you’re an idiot, or if you’re suicidal. Maybe both.
Ascension 4
I’ve lived for many years, Master. I’ve lost count of the years, seeing as each day was never the amount of time I wanted to deal with. But in the end, everything dies, even me. I wish… I really wish you were smart enough to not tempt Fate, but… Perhaps this is why I stand with you, Master. We’re both idiots who don’t listen to reason.
Battle Lines
Battle Start 1
Your Fate is sealed.
Battle Start 2
I hope you don’t hold back against me.
Skill 1
G-Grrraaagh!
Skill 2
Let’s see how you fight, eh?
Command Card 1
Oh?
Command Card 2
Very well.
Command Card 3
I know this will end it.
Noble Phantasm Card
Very well… Prepare yourself, monsters!
Attack 1
Haah!
Attack 2
Hrmph!
Attack 3
Huhn!
Extra Attack
You won’t survive this!
Noble Phantasm
Behold this castle. Behold the corpses. Behold your tomb. Rise up and assist me, my unending corpses! Castle Canem Diebus Fatalibus!!
Damage 1
Gah!
Damage 2
Damn, that hurts!
Incapacitated 1
D-Damn… Even now, I hate… Dying.
Incapacitated 2
T-thank… You...
Victory 1
I see. I still stand tall, against all odds.
Victory 2
Are you sure these foes were strong? They didn’t seem strong…
My Room Dialogue
Conversation 1
Are we going to be heading out soon, Master?
Conversation 2
I’m a Dog, Master. Eh? N-no of course I’m not actually a Dog! It’s a title!
Conversation 3
Even now, I can tell that the other Servants care for you. Am I really needed here then, with so many legends around you? I’m not even that well known, you know...
Conversation 4
Requires Hercules
I… You managed to summon him? Eh, do I know him? Of course I do! He’s my Sen- I mean he’s the first Dog of Fate to ever live. I look up to him, a warrior of whom I will never defeat.
Conversation 5
Requires Gilgamesh
You know, hearing of this man, I was expecting a bit more. The King of Heroes… He just throws weapons at people! I never throw swords! They need to be shoved right up your foe’s a- A-Ah! Forgive me Master. I got a bit too excited there, didn’t I?
Conversation 6
Requires any Servant with the Saberface attribute.
Um… Master? Why are there so many people with the same face? I mean… It gets kind of hard to tell who is who. Like… Is it normal for legends to share the same face? I’m not sure if that is normal.
Conversation 7
Requires Asagami Fujino
This girl… She’s very much like myself… She’s almost human, yet she’s a Servant. I… I wish she never had to suffer like I.
Conversation 8
Requires Merlin
… I met you once. I do not doubt you remember me. But… That tower… Can I go back there, someday? It was peaceful… Somewhere I felt safe… Please, just one more time.
Conversation 9
Requires Iskandar, Altria, Ozymandias, Cu, Leonardo, Cleopatra, Sherlock, Arjuna, Karma, Rama, Tesla, Drake
You know… Looking upon you… I know I’m at a disadvantage. I’ve killed gods, demons, angels and more. Yet… You stand as heroes of mankind. I… Even if I was a legend of my own, I still don’t stand a chance… God damn it…
Conversation 10
Requires EMIYA (not Alter)
Who are you? I swear I know who you are but… I keep drawing a blank. Pah, it doesn’t matter. We’re both fighting for our Master, for mankind. Besides, we both should work together, eh?
Conversation 11
Requires Aŋra Mainiiu
You… Even looking at you sickens me. All the World’s Evil… You certainly feel like that. If you try to kill a single human, I will not hesitate to turn you to a pile of blood and gore, you fucking abomination! Even if Master wants you here, I won’t hesitate!
Conversation 12
Requires Mash
Well, this is a surprise. I never see you around much, but you’re special. Don’t worry. If you ever want to relax and not fight, I’ll stand in your place. A hero needs to know when not to fight, after all.
Bond Level 1
Master, I hope you don’t mind if I made some effort to clean the room up. It was kind of a mess before.
Bond Level 2
Um, Master? Are you well? You seem to be tired. No? You’re fine? Alright then. Just… Try and slow down, kay?
Bond Level 3
I… I hope you know that you aren’t alone. I’ve felt alone many times, so I know what you may be feeling. So you should lean on them more than you lean on me at the moment, kay?
Bond Level 4
Why the hell are you getting close to me, Master? This is too much, alright!? Do you want the bastard to try and kill you!? Leave me alone, now! I’ll fight for you, but if you get any closer, I won’t stay here.
Bond Level 5
I… I can’t get you away from me. No matter what I tried, you just came back.
I, All my life I’ve had to deal with everything being taken from me by Fate. Everyone I was close to, everything I held dear, that bastard took it away from me. Yet… You stand there and tell me that you’ll keep me here.
Heh. You have to be a freaking idiot. But then again…
I’m just as big of an idiot as you, Master… No, (Your name here).
Likes
My likes? I do like peace, and I like food that isn’t stale.
Dislikes
Hate? Oh that’s simple. I hate Fate and anyone that thinks that life is ‘fated’ to happen such a way.
The Holy Grail
The Holy Grail eh? I would like to use it. But… It’s probably stupid, you know? I want to go back to the day I died… And wish my sister a happy birthday. I never got to do that, you know?
Event
Something’s going on, Master. I suggest you do what you feel is important and relax when you’re done.
Birthday
It’s… Your birthday? I… Oh dear god why the hell did you not tell me that it was coming up!? I need to get a cake and a card and so much shit for you! Next year you better warn me it’s coming up! I can’t have things happen just like my first life!
Servant Bond CE Text:
How many years has it been since I saw you last?
I don’t remember, really. I do remember your face, though.
You were so mad when I didn’t give you the chance to tell me what day it was.
You pouted so much. I kept interrupting you when you tried to tell me what was going on. You thought I was ignoring you…
I wasn’t.
I knew what day it was. I knew what you wanted to tell me. And I knew what I was doing. It was your birthday, little sister. And I was going to get your cake, your card, and the present that I ordered for you.
But I never got the chance. Because he took me away that day. He took me away because he wanted a Dog to use for his ‘experiments’. I never got the chance…
And now? Now I’ll never get that chance, ever again… Please Seras… Please forgive your dumb sister, who failed you on your thirteenth birthday. Please don’t hate me…
Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday dear Seras… Happy birthday to you...
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CHAPTER 3 - MAJOR EVENTS
This is basically The Chapter where things really begin revealing themselves as canon-divergent, so if you haven’t played Bendy and the Ink Machine’s Chapter 3, it’s probably a good time to do so in order for you to know what I mean by everything I’m going to say.
This is a post compiling all major event changes; each portion is sectioned out so that reading is a bit easier, although there are definitely some items that may not be part of threads, but this is more to understand what to expect if you’re coming to the studio during Chapter 3.
ALICE’S JUMPSCARE
Instead of the jumpscare, the door in the spotlit room will open, and Seraph will slowly walk in.
For a moment, her true face is shown, before her saddened mask will float in front of her face, concealing her warped features with the face of her previous self, Alice Angel. She’d sing “I’m Alice Angel…” before the lights flicker out.
“We see you there. A new fly in the endless web of our tragedies. Come along now – let’s see if you’re worthy to walk with angels.”
The room will be mostly in the same condition as it was before, but the door at the back of the spotlight room will have a large splatter of ink around the door, especially concealing the Hollywood star and “Alice Angel”.
THE TWO PATHS
For those unfamiliar with the two paths, they are the Angel and the Demon paths; in canon, the Angel path has a tape from when Susie Campbell is replaced by Alison Pendle, and the Demon path has a tape from Joey Drew.
Here, the paths have two main differences:
THE TAPES; the Demon has Edward’s tape, while the Angel has Susie’s sacrifice.
YOUR SECOND ESCORT; the Demon has SKYE, the Angel has AGNES. Regardless of escort, the angel will greet and join you and Boris on your adventure.
THE ELEVATOR DIALOGUE - PT. 1
When first reaching the elevator, Seraph speaks again.
“It’s so interesting, isn’t it? I can’t say I was a fan of how the show was handled…but never mind that. It looks like you’ve got a date with the angels…! Come to me now. Level Nine. Bring back what’s mine, and I will tell you more…”
Then, when exiting:
“Come on, step out of the cage. The world here is twisted, but surely you knew that, right…?”
LEVEL 9
When going through the room of corpses, they are all instead covered; these are all Miracle’s victims, whether clones from the Ink Machine or thralls turned into Borises in order to keep an eye on certain things in the studio.
“Look around. So many of them died, without reason…every single one of them was left, strewn around like litter…why, why did he do it? I’ve…I’ve asked myself this for years…”
Where canon Alice was torturing a Piper, Seraph is introduced with the angel from the opposing choice of path ( Agnes in Demon, Skye in Angel ), merely telling her that they have a guest, just before Henry steps in.
“Now we come to the question…why have you come here? Is it out of your own desire, or out of one of his traps to lure us all into Hell…?
As an angel…our decisions are nigh-unbearable. The good of many for the price of a few, saving one for the cost of many – it is awful, to even be forced into this role, but he has forced my hand many, many times.
Take a look at these angels. They didn’t deserve this – none of us did, and yet, he…sadistic, greedy, reckless, he took their lives, and turned them into this!
…but we’re so close now. The time is at hand. He will fall by the hands of those he raked over the coals for his own delight.
For now, I will need a few small favors from you. If you do those, then we shall talk about your ascension – your freedom.
Return to the lift, dear. We have work to do – and keep an eye on your new escort. She will be a great help to you on these errands.”
While leaving, Seraph adds these words:
“There are so few rules to our world now. So little truths. But there are three rules that we all know and respect down here.
Beware the Ink Demon. Do not trust the Liar. Do not search for what’s Missing.
Stay out in the open for too long, and the Ink Demon will find you. For if you see him – you’d better hide. If you don’t, well…your little escort will bring you back here so we can mourn for you properly.
Now, let us begin our work.”
THE ANGELS
Your second escort, unlike Boris, actively journeys with you throughout your fetch quests, each with a strength and a weakness.
SKYE ( DEMON ): She’s more familiar with the various areas, and will thus be able to help you find certain items; however, she RUNS in order to find the items, because she wants to see the Ink Demon, so you have to be careful in making sure she doesn’t draw Blight to you by mistake!
AGNES ( ANGEL ): She’s not very familiar with the area, so she’d stick close to you thanks to that; however, she will guide you to Miracle Stations if Blight is nearby, before distracting him when he’s arriving. It’d be a few moments of talking, before Blight’s sent on his way in another direction.
THE MISSIONS
Each errand has different dialogues, all of which are implying that they are either needed for the well-being of Level 9, or as a part of the ritual she’s preparing for “the studio’s final act”. The cutout mission hints that you’re blinding the Ink Demon, leaving him to “fumble about, unknowing of his end”.
The Projectionist’s mission, collecting the toon hearts, reveals several interesting details: Seraph had killed Norman by mistake, brought him back to life with the projector head, but eventually found that he wouldn’t let anyone else but her safely into Level 14.
WHAT ABOUT BORIS?
After all of the errands are completed, Seraph will have Henry return to her, thus taking back her angelic escort as well as speaking to him face-to-face again.
“We are nearing the absolute. I need only one last thing, and that is a lure to bring the Ink Demon into this area without causing trouble – and your Boris is a near-perfect match to the one that he will respond to, his dearest friend.
In order to defeat the Missing Miracle, I will have to permanently destroy the final bits of humanity from the Ink Demon. Don’t worry…Boris will be alive and ready to leave with you after I have guaranteed the ritual’s success.
Now…will you help an angel one more time?”
IF HENRY SAYS “YES”: Seraph sighs in relief and opens another door, telling the pair to rest up, as she double-checks everything she’s prepared.
IF HENRY SAYS “NO”: Seraph will allow Henry and Boris to go to the elevator, but will force it down — chiding him on being so selfish and stubborn. “Even with the promise of Boris being unharmed, you wish to leave and let all of us SUFFER? I thought you a better man than that, Henry.” She will then take Boris accordingly, although she will state again that she means him no harm -- she’d make sure of that.
In the end…well, that’s all a matter of whether things succeed, isn’t it?
#🐰 ▓ ❱ ❝ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ғᴏᴏʟs ( ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴄᴋ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ) ❞ « OOC Post#🌟 ▓ ❱ ❝ ᴡᴇ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ ɪɴ ғᴀᴄᴇ ❞ « Headcanon
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President D*nald J. Tr*mp The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20500
Dear Mr. President: As writers and artists, we join PEN America in calling on you to rescind your Executive Order of January 27, 2017, and refrain from introducing any alternative measure that similarly impairs freedom of movement and the global exchange of arts and ideas.
In barring people from seven predominantly Muslim countries from entering the United States for 90 days, barring all refugees from entering the country for 120 days, and blocking migration from Syria indefinitely, your January Executive Order caused the chaos and hardship of families divided, lives disrupted, and law-abiding faced with handcuffs, detention, and deportation. In so doing, the Executive Order also hindered the free flow of artists and thinkers — and did so at a time when vibrant, open intercultural dialogue is indispensable in the fight against terror and oppression. Its restriction is inconsistent with the values of the United States and the freedoms for which it stands.
The negative impact of the original Executive Order was felt immediately, creating stress and uncertainty for artists of global renown and disrupting major U.S. cultural events. Oscar-nominated director Asghar Farhadi, who is from Iran, expecting to be unable to travel to the Academy Awards ceremony in late February, announced that he will not attend. Syrian singer Omar Souleyman, who performed at the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize Concert in Oslo, Norway, may now be prevented from singing at Brooklyn’s World Music Institute in May 2017. The ability of Adonis, an 87-year-old globally celebrated poet who is a French national of Syrian extraction, to attend the May 2017 PEN World Voices Festival in New York remains in question.
Preventing international artists from contributing to American cultural life will not make America safer, and will damage its international prestige and influence. Not only will such a policy prevent great artists from performing, but it will constrict the interchange of important ideas, isolating the U.S. politically and culturally. Reciprocal actions against American citizens, such as those already taken by the governments of Iraq and Iran, will further limit the ability of American artists to move freely.
Arts and culture have the power to enable people to see beyond their differences. Creativity is an antidote to isolationism, paranoia, misunderstanding, and violent intolerance. In the countries most affected by the immigration ban, it is writers, artists, musicians, and filmmakers who are often at the vanguard in the fights against oppression and terror. Should it interrupt the ability of artists to travel, perform, and collaborate, such an Executive Order will aid those who would silence essential voices and exacerbate the hatreds that fuel global conflict.
We strongly believe that the immediate and long-term consequences of your original Executive Order are entirely at odds with the national interests of the United States. As you contemplate any potential new measures we respectfully urge you to tailor them narrowly to address only legitimate and substantiated threats and to avoid imposing broad bans that affect millions of people, including the writers, artists and thinkers whose voices and presence help foster international understanding.
Sincerely,
Anne Tyler Lev Grossman Jhumpa Lahiri Norman Rush Chang-rae Lee Jane Smiley Janet Malcolm John Green Mary Karr Claire Messud Daniel Handler (a.k.a. Lemony Snicket) Siri Hustvedt Paul Auster Francine Prose Paul Muldoon David Henry Hwang Jessica Hagedorn Martin Amis Sandra Cisneros Dave Eggers Stephen Sondheim Jonathan Lethem Philip Roth Andrew Solomon Tobias Wolff Robert Pinsky Jonathan Franzen Jay McInerney Margaret Atwood Azar Nafisi Alec Soth Nicole Krauss Colm Toibin Patrick Stewart Philip Gourevitch Robert Caro Rita Dove J.M. Coetzee Anish Kapoor Rosanne Cash Zadie Smith George Packer John Waters Art Spiegelman Susan Orlean Elizabeth Strout Kwame Anthony Appiah Teju Cole Alice Sebold Esmeralda Santiago Stacy Schiff Jeffrey Eugenides Khaled Hosseini Rick Moody Hanya Yanagihara Chimamanda Adichie John Lithgow Simon Schama Colum McCann Sally Mann Jules Feiffer Luc Tuymans Michael Chabon Ayelet Waldman Orhan Pamuk
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Desperate Housewives
Yes, because sometimes we all need the help of our friends. Yes, because sometimes neighbours become closer than family. Yes, because sometimes we need to learn that there’s more to life than appearances. And so on and so forth: these are just some made-up lines from Desperate Housewives because it’s too hot to bother checking for real quotations on the internet and it’s funnier to think of your own. Each episode in the eight-season run of this classic show drew to its conclusion with omniscient posthumous narrator, Mary Alice Young, saying “yes” in her slow calm voice before passing judgment on the goings on of Wisteria Lane. Cue a montage of shots featuring each family coming to terms with that episode’s action.
This week I’m delving into an iconic boxset from years ago, just because it’s sometimes nice to be nostalgic. Yes, because sometimes it’s nice to be nostalgic (oops, Mary Alice-ing again). In many ways, Desperate Housewives was soap operatic trash, but the clever narrative framing outlined in the previous paragraph gave it an original spin, elevating its suburban banality to high-end drama. Premiering in 2004, my nineteen-year-old self and all of my new-found nineteen-year-old college buddies at university instinctively knew that this was a big moment in TV. Any show that opens with the suicide of a lead character is bound to combine enough mystery with enough dark humour to reel in anyone looking for distraction. We were hooked.
The aesthetic offered great escapism. There were sunshine-drenched white picket fences, leaned over for the exchanging of gossip by glamorous ladies whose intertwined stories were brought to life in the richly imagined town of Fairview. Visiting a dear friend in Connecticut years later, I fulfilled a lifetime goal of beholding a place that looked just like Wisteria Lane, alarming locals with my coveting of their garden borders. The show’s leads ran households, kept down jobs, raised children, drank too much wine, all without a hair out of place. The perfection on the surface was so clichéd that you knew it would only take a small scratch on the surface to find dystopia beneath.
It was around these secrets that each series was structured. While some inconsistency abounded in the quality of each mystery, the pacing and cliffhangering kept us coming back for more. And these were the days before Sky Plus, so we would literally need to convene around someone’s actual television at the pre-ordained time as confirmed by the TV listings page in a newspaper. There was even a hairy moment during the holidays when everyone with a TV had returned to their regions of origin and those of us remaining behind were forced to use the college TV room in order to keep up with the action. This was a place best avoided, as it was dominated by chain-smoking communists (this is neither exaggeration nor embellishment) but after a very spirited democratic vote, we managed to enact a change to Channel 4. Sadly, my year abroad meant I missed the whole second series and have never caught up with it since, but, on reflection, my fluent German is some consolation to me for the fact I never found out who the Applewhite family were keeping in their basement.
But who are these wives, and what about the houses they live in? What makes them so desperate? Prepare yourself for a journey through each in turn, peppered with my subjective judgments.
Susan Mayer
Often cited as the lead, mostly because Teri Hatcher had the biggest star power on day one, Susan Mayer was dominated by her endless complicated relationship with Mike Delfino. At her best, she would be scurrying around her neighbours’ flower beds, mischievously spying, but she never really seemed malicious and was therefore easy to root for. Her kids were kind of tedious. I had forgotten about Julie Mayer’s total existence, and Mike Junior got brattier by the episode. Her rivalry with Edie Britt, however, generated some of the most barbed shade ever committed to dialogue.
Edie Britt
Despite not making it through all the series, let’s deal with this character ahead of the others. She owned her sexuality, was unashamed to get what she wanted and took advantage of others’ weakness, all while looking banging. What a hero. I think we could all learn a thing from Edie. The show was poorer without her.
Lynette Scavo
This housewife had balls. When she wasn’t dealing with cancer or suffering an unruly brood of ginger children, she was bossing things in the husband department. Tom Scavo defined flannel, combining various levels of infidelity with trying to open a stupid pizza restaurant. I remember she was also committed to recycling during some awkward product placement in series six, but I’ll forgive Felicity Huffman anything. Anything.
Gabrielle Solis
The bombshell with a lot of the best lines. Eva Longoria clearly had too much fun rolling around with the gardener, while later series saw her battling with two chubbily cute daughters giving her as much sassmouth as she deserved. Her partnership with Carlos was tested throughout the show’s lifetime, but his constantly exasperated expressions showed that nobody could resist Gabrielle’s charms.
Brie Van de Kamp
The ur-housewife. Named after a soft cheese, but with a heart of stone. Anyone who keeps a household so immaculate has got my respect. I can barely pick my underpants off the floor at the best of times. Her devious nature was a delight, yet seeing her terrible children torture her in return was even more gratifying.
Karen McCluskey
I admit that she was never one of the core housewives, mostly appearing to fulfil the recurring role of elderly neighbour. But this old battleaxe easily outsassed the others. Straight-talking, self-serving and snarly, she would occasionally melt into such kindness that her steady presence over all eight seasons has earned her a special mention here.
So… yes, because sometimes it’s important to dwell on the shows that shaped your life. I still have friendships now based on shared viewership of Desperate Housewives in my student days. Running all the way to 2012 (though ending up set in 2017 due to a five-year forwards leap that boldly refreshed the character and storyline arcs) the show also featured in my farcical media career, with various brands involved in bidding for its UK broadcast sponsorship back when I was always the last one standing at any free drinks event. Now I get anxiety if I’m not in bed by 10pm. Your real life might not necessarily include tornadoes, kidnaps, vengeance, murder or home-making, but Desperate Housewives offered exemplary entertainment and, for that, it must be saluted. Yes, because sometimes it’s- sorry, I’ll stop that now.
#desperate housewives#wisteria lane#marc cherry#tv show#television#boxset#brie van de kamp#felicity huffman#teri hatcher#susan mayer#edie britt#mike delfino#ensemble cast#eva longoria#jesse metcalfe
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