#dean vs driving

[shallowseeker]

This was the true Dean driving crime:

SAM: Seriously, Dean? You know how many people die every year texting and driving? DEAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know. Look. [Dean looks away from Cas's text message and puts his phone away] Okay? Done. You're right. My bad.

15x16

[secondhandroad]

i just think dean would be soooo weird about it if sam dated/hooked up with men. women are transient in their world, they are victims/one-night-stands, they are barely people. but a man? their whole world is men. men are bobby and pastor jim and caleb. men are john, and dean himself. a man could be a stand in dean!! and that must be stopped!!!

[opheliasam]

he’s so grown and old and wise and strong and he will never ever ever be anything more than the role he occupies—>baby brother to dean (this is a Bad thing btw)

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

me googling what a triple red eye is. sam.

[mybrainproblems]

it's not that dean doesn't know how to drive a manual, it's that baby is a) his childhood home and b) he's a pillow princess

[dyed-red]

DOUBLE TIME TRAVEL FICS? we readers are truly getting spoiled.

Haha yeah. I've been chipping away at mine in the background here since probably like... Late 2019? Or early 2020. I sort of thought I'd just leave it as a "forever in the drafts folder" because it's uh, it's something, and tbh I've never been sure if others will like it at all or if it's one or those pieces that's really just for me.

buuuut I keep returning to it every few months for the last 3 years I guess, and it's grown both on the page and in my head so much and I have so many fresh pieces for it that I'm excited to draft, so I'm talking about it more. It's still self-indulgently "for me" in that it's a miserable plot-heavy slog with a deeply messed up and traumatized version of Sam and all sorts of messy interactions with his fam. And flashbacks. Because I'm a sucker for a flashback and love writing them (or otherwise interrupting the flow of linear time in a story).

But anyway!

Roni @applecrumbledore has also been an inspiration and has cheered me on a bit, which has helped :) it means I may get around to actually finishing this fic (it's over 50k words already but I'm expecting it to tap out over 80) and posting for the niche audience who might enjoy.

[incesthemes]

kripke era just makes me insane. season 1 is sam's conflict between his fate and his family (azazel vs dean). season 2 is dean's conflict between his fate and his family (duty vs sam). season 3 is about sam trying to fix dean's big, fucked-up mistake (selling his soul to revive sam). season 4 is about dean trying to fix sam's big, fucked-up mistake (drinking demon blood to [try to] revive dean). seasons 3 and 4 also prove that when they lose their family, they will inevitably drive themselves straight down the path of their destinies (dean becomes the righteous man and breaks the first seal; sam drinks demon blood to become powerful enough to kill lilith and break the final seal). and season 5 is their mutual confrontation of fate and family.

every single time, the main conflict creates a dichotomy where their fates, the paths they're meant to walk down, are diametrically opposed to their family, their brother. and every time the brother is threatened, they have no choice but to succumb to their fates—family is the only thing preventing them from destiny's warpath. they choose each other and that alone is the only thing that can save them. fate and family can't coexist because they were always meant to be enemies on opposite sides of the battlefield. it's a regular old romeo and juliet sort of tale, when you think about it, and it's only through the power of their love that they can oppose the lives carefully laid out for them—deny thy father and refuse thy name. it's a timeless tragedy. it's a toxic romance. god, what a show.

[holylulusworld]

How deep is your love? - Flufftober 2

Title: How deep is your love?

Summary: Dean is in love.

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: fluff, friends to lovers, love confessions, romance

Trope: Friends to lovers

Idea by the lovely @elle14-blog1

Square filled for @jacklesversebingo: Square 13: Free Space

Square filled for @eclipsingbingo (expired): Square 9: Walking home together

Square filled for @julybreakbingo (expired): Square 15: Free Space

Square filled for @spnfluffbingo (expired): Square 25: Best friends to lovers

Square filled for @anyfandomfluffbingo: Square 2: First date

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2024

“Wanted, dead or alive,” Dean sings along to the song you chose. He’s an awful singer, but you giggle and sing along. Because, let’s be honest, you’re a horrible singer yourself, and it’s fun. “I’m wanted…”

“Dead or alive,” you end Dean’s line. Sam groans in the back of the car. He’s pissed because he hates sitting in the back with his long legs. “That was an awesome jam session.”

Dean chuckles and looks at you like a lovesick puppy, making Sam roll his eyes. The only person not getting that Dean is head over heels in love with you seems to be you.

“How about some food?” Dean hopefully asks. “I could have some food. What about you, sweetheart?” He pats his tummy while looking at you. “Food, Y/N.”

“Food, alright,” you say while looking for a place to get Dean some food. If he needs food, he’ll get food. “What do you want? Burgers, pizza?”

He places his hand on your thigh, making you giggle as he leans closer to whisper in your ear. “Pie, sweetheart. Drive anywhere you want to as long there is pie for this man.”

“Pie. Got it,” you reply. “Navigate me in the right direction, Mr. Winchester. I’ll drive you to your pie.”

“Alright,” Dean grabs his phone to look for a diner nearby. “Hmm…the Sweden Cream?” Dean furrows his brows. “What kind of name for a diner is that?”

You snicker. “Sounds naughty. Let’s go there. Maybe they sell nice cream...”

“No—” Dean grunts and looks for another one. “Let’s see. Oh, that one sounds nice. The Cozy Inn Café.”

“Dean, we visited all of them already,” Sam huffs in the backseat. “Dude, did you forget we ate at that place not two months ago?”

“Shut up, bitch!” Dean snaps at his brother. “No one asked you.” He tries to hide that he wants to make you laugh about the diner's name.

You bob your head to the next song while listening to Dean fight with his brother. You giggle and snort when they start to call each other a bitch and jerk.

“Cozy Inn Café it is. I hope they have great pie,” you say to stop them from fighting even more. Poor Cas is sitting in the backseat too, and you don’t want the angel to get in between the fronts.

“I love me some pie,” Dean happily sighs and leans back in his seat. His hand is still on your thigh, but you don’t mind. You’ve always been very touchy when it came to your friend, and he was the same.

“I know, Deano!”

When you want to walk inside the diner, Dean opens the door for you, holding it open. Sam and Cas exchange a look before they decide to sit and wait if they finally realize what’s going on.

“Wait, let me pull the chair for you,” Dean hastily says. He pulls the chair for you, whispering your name. “What do you want, sweetheart? I pay.”

“Everything on the menu,” you tease, and shoot Dean with a finger gun. “If Dean Winchester pays, I’ll take everything.”

“You’re cruel,” he whines, but flashes you a smirk. “If you can eat it all, I’ll pay for it.” Dean challenges.

“Is that a challenge, Mr. Winchester?” You ask, grinning at Dean.

“Is that a yes?”

“Not today, Winchester,” you say, before you stick your tongue out. “Next time.”

“Alright,” he nods. “What do you want?”

“Surprise me!” You giggle when he pecks your cheek. “Dean, eek… You’re so scruffy.”

“You love it!” He walks toward the counter to order for you. Dean didn’t even ask what Sam or Cas wanted.

“You wish!”

“I know you love me!” He looks over his shoulder and grins. “I just know it.” He says a little quieter as he watches you bicker with his brother.

Dean returns to your table a few moments later. He sits next to you, thigh-brushing yours because he chose to sit as closely as possible to you.

While you place your hand on his bicep to squeeze it, making fun of his strength because he threw a ghoul through a wall last time, Dean longingly looks at you.

“Christ, get a room, you two!” Sam has enough. He throws his hands up and sighs. “It’s impossible to eat while you are all lovey-dovey.”

“What?” You quirk a brow while Dean stares at your lips.

“Shut up, bitch,” Dean grunts. “I’m not getting a room.” Your face falls at Dean’s words. You got your hopes high, and now you’re disappointed Dean doesn’t feel the same. “Y/N is not some random guy. I’ll ask her out on a first date before we even kiss!”

“OH—” Your cheeks heat up, and an odd noise leaves your lips. “My, oh my,” you stammer. “Dean…” Before Dean can say a thing, you cup his face and press a soft kiss to his lips.

His eyes widen, but he kisses you back. “Dean…”

“Sweetheart,” Dean purrs against your lips. “Uh—would you give me the honor and let me walk you home?” He grins because you moved your hand to his thigh.

“Guys, we are like two hours away from the bunker. You can’t walk home,” Sam points out, but Dean shushes his brother.

“Yes,” you peck his lips again. “We can walk home together.”

“Let me handle this,” Cas says. Before you and Dean can protest, he touches you and zaps you out of the diner. You end up in Dean’s bedroom, confused and a little dizzy. “You’re welcome. Sam and I will drive Baby home.”

...and then Cas is gone, and you and Dean are alone, in his bedroom.

“Well, technically we already had our first date at the diner,” you whisper against Dean’s lips. “How about we enjoy the fact that Sammy and Cas aren’t around?”

“Hmm… I didn’t get my pie. How about I eat something sweeter tonight?”

Tags in reblog.

[angelsdean]

Reading the script from 13x02 and it opens with Dean, Sam, and Jack in the Impala driving through the night and eventually stopping at a motel where Donatello catches up to them and reveals that yesterday he was "knocked off [his] feet by this weird wave of power" which was Jack's birth. We know Jack was born at night/early morning, and it's night/early morning again, which means it's literally been a mere 24 hrs at most since Cas died, and the drive that this episode opens with, yeah they're literally just leaving from burning Cas's body. Dean not being immediately warm and fuzzy toward Jack is so understandable, especially since they literally do not know anything about him, other than he's an incredibly powerful supernatural being that they spent all last season trying to stop from existing because of the potential threat his existence could cause on the world.

And the way s12 ends, Jack was positioned to be the next Big Bad from that cliffhanger.

(12x23 script)

Dean also believes Jack brainwashed Cas to get him on-side. He has no reason to trust Jack. And Sam is only really thinking about what Jack can do for him, aka get Mary back. So Sam immediately starts playing nice to get Jack on-side and willing to work with them. Sam also inserts himself into the situation, trying to force Dean and Jack to bond, and this happens again in 13x04 and both Dean and Jack express that they need time.

Dean might be harsh toward Jack and not have a Nice Tone when speaking to him in these early episodes, but he's being brutally honest about his feelings, instead of lying and pretending like Sam. Which Jack values Dean's honesty and is hurt by Sam's dishonesty when it comes to light.

The scripts also make a point to highlight how Jack is not a kid, he's in his twenties. And uses words like "demi-god" in later episodes to distinguish his status as an ultra-powerful supernatural being. Jack is naive and new to the world, sure, but he's not helpless and certainly not powerless. If we want to talk power imbalances than the true imbalance is not Mean Adult Dean not instantly loving Poor Baby Jack and it's not Mean Adult Dean shooting a gun at Literal Newborn Jack. This is a supernatural fantasy show, not a family drama. The genre is important. The true power imbalance here is mortal human man with zero powers vs supernatural being with immense powers. And moreso, a supernatural being with uncontrollable immense powers. They don't know what he could do! They have no way of stopping him if he decides to "go darkside" and just end the world! That's scary. And Sam even explains this to Jack, saying that Dean is scared of what Jack could do and it's their job to protect people, and that they may have to protect others "from you" (Jack). This scene is also another moment where Sam tries to convince Jack that he just needs to work on his powers and train to control them (and also so Sam can use Jack to get Mary back, his top priority).

Anyway, point is, Dean isn't wrong to be skeptical of Jack and on guard and keep him at a distance in those early days, and that's not even accounting for all the grief. It's literally been less than a day since Cas died and they lost Mary (and Crowley). He just burned Cas's body. So him talking about dealing with "the problem" and not immediately adopting Jack into the fold is a pretty normal response, given the context of everything.

I think often people also take the "widowers arc" John parallels too seriously. It's an interesting parallel but it's far from being a 1:1, the context are completely different. Yes, Dean just lost his love. Yes, Dean is now left with a "kid" in the wake of Cas's death. But Dean never claimed Jack as his own. Jack saying Cas is his "father" could be another manipulation tactic to ensure his survival for all Dean knows. Cas isn't there anymore to vouch for Jack, and even when he was there Dean was rightfully skeptical about Cas's sudden change of heart. A change of heart that suddenly had Cas believing in the possibility of "paradise" and "peace on earth" and fulfilling "destiny", all things that go against the core beliefs of Team Free Will who have been fighting for Freedom over Peace. So Dean has no connection to Jack and he doesn't trust Jack's alleged connection to Cas at this moment. He doesn't know Cas will come back. Cas's death felt permanent to Dean. He saw Cas's grace go out, saw his wings burn. He burned Cas's body. He prayed to Chuck and got no answer. There's no coming back in Dean's mind and he's dealing with all that intense grief while also having to contend with the potential threat of this supernatural being that has come into their lives and is literally a stranger to him.

Also Dean's "anger" and harshness, like I've said, is in part because he doesn't trust Jack and is putting up walls because he doesn't want to trust him and then get burned. Dean's always putting his heart into things, he always ends up caring, he can't help it. So in this case he's guarding his heart, he's leaning into his skepticism and suspicions. He's staying on the defensive. But also, anger is a normal and natural step in the grieving process. Yeah, Dean's immense grief over losing Cas, Mary, and even Crowley is not pretty. It's real though. And it's not an over-reaction. I think Dean is reacting the appropriate amount considering all they've lost. Sam under-reacting and dissociating and clinging to the hope of getting Mary back isn't the "baseline normal" emotional reaction. Sam is not coping well either. He's not coping at all, actually, and is instead refusing to really acknowledge these losses.

Anyway, I find many comparisons to John re: widower's arc leaving me cold these days, because they often disregard how completely different the contexts of the two situations are, and instead try to force-fit Dean and Jack into a John and his kids mold. Dean isn't becoming "the angry man of the house." He's grieving and he's skeptical of a near-stranger's intentions. Another way in which Dean and John differ greatly in their responses to grief is: John becomes consumed by revenge and springs into action (just like Sam when he lost Jess) but Dean? Dean shuts down. Dean loses hope. Dean ends up killing himself and wishing to stay dead. (Also, I know not everyone agrees with this interpretation, but: see Dean's response post-15x18. Jensen describes Dean's death as Dean being "tired" and letting go (sounds a whole lot like suicide to me). Dean always loses hope when Cas dies).

As the audience, we have the gift of omniscience and we are also able to look into the future now that the show is done. We know Jack doesn't become the second coming of Lucifer, but Dean doesn't know any of that at the time. Dean, in-world, is dealing with the very real possibility that Jack could become their next antagonist and all his actions in the early days following Jack's introduction are informed by that lingering threat.

[paxesoterica]

List of Personal Highlights from the Sulemio vs. Destiel Poll

Happy Suletta Sunday! In celebration of both the G-Witch victory last week in the Sulemio vs. Destiel poll and my upcoming birthday, I decided to organize a list of notable highlights (for me at least) from the event so that they can be revisited without having to scroll through 18K+ notes (also included are some posts separate from the poll but related to it).

Links are divided between memes (self-explanatory), art (fan art excluding memes, such as drawings, custom gunpla, and poetry), data (such as histories and statistics), and shameless self-promotion (anything I personally contributed, separated because I wanted to go into detail).

While I opted to include some bits of kayfabe/posturing/saber-rattling i.e. challenges made in an over-the-top/not-serious manner, I didn't link to any of the actual heated arguments that emerged during the poll, regardless of which side I agreed with. Unfortunately, this means there isn't any pro-Destiel propaganda in the list, since for whatever reason, arguments and casual insults were the only things offered. To pay respects to the vanquished then, I offer this:

https://archive.org/details/JenTitusOhDeathSupernaturalOSTFullSong - "O Death", sung by Jen Titus, was originally offered as a free download as a Season 5 promo on the official Supernatural website, and has now been preserved by your friend and mine, the Internet Archive. Good addition to a Halloween playlist.

And now, on with the list!

Memes

https://sapphicselene.tumblr.com/post/750334061001736192/this-is-it-boys-this-is-where-you-boys-grow-up - Statement advocating voting for Sulemio. A seamless looped gif of tank driving from Girls und Panzer.

https://lexingt0n.tumblr.com/post/750515914588438528 - MMORPG meme about Suletta winning tournaments. That little blocks knocking down large blocks chain of events meme featuring Suletta's promise not to lose duels leading to the events of the poll.

https://www.tumblr.com/rdmaaron/750826628142202880/whats-honestly-funnysurprising-to-me-is-that - Meme of Miorine urging people to invest in Sulemio stocks.

https://strawberry-starstruck.tumblr.com/post/750955995182825472/all-hail-our-new-space-lesbian-overlords-the - Destiel news meme interrupted by Aerial and Suletta (warning: some blood).

https://www.tumblr.com/alphajaye071/750567808166985728 - Meme featuring Utena Tenjou and her teacher as Sulemio and Destiel respectively.

https://www.tumblr.com/incoherent-orca/750650851349200896 - Multiple instances of the GUND stocks with Miorine meme to commemorate the poll reaching 69,420 votes.

https://www.tumblr.com/pisfool/750604772606918656/but-i-do-have-the-fact-that-i-am-the-original - Video promoting Suletta Sundays.

https://www.tumblr.com/the-eeveekins/750614460006367232/templates-for-both-versions - Sulemio news meme template.

https://anachronistrocketeer.tumblr.com/post/750504949128085504 - Parody of the Destiel news meme, with Suletta and Aerial responding in place of Dean.

https://www.tumblr.com/alphajaye071/750965871770468353/woohoo-happy-suletta-sunday-everyone - Meme featuring Anthy Himemiya vs. Nanami Kiryuu's friends as Sulemio and Destiel respectively (from a scene which, in turn, references an infamous scene from Mobile Suit Gundam '79).

https://lotus-3dart.tumblr.com/post/750963665459691520/the-girls-did-it - Meme video of Suletta hurling a giant energy sphere at Dean and Castiel (I believe it's a Dragon Ball Z reference, see below).

https://but-a-humble-goon.tumblr.com/post/750735354875805697 - Meme of a scene from Dragon Ball Z featuring Goku as Sulemio.

https://fireprincesslily.tumblr.com/post/750978007676682240/combining-my-love-for-wrestling-with-my-love-for - Meme featuring pro-wrestling with Sulemio vs. Destiel.

Art

https://hibiscus-ships.tumblr.com/post/750923769121554433/gundam-fans-grab-your-backlogs - Video of a wedding-themed custom Aerial gunpla. Photographs of Suletta gunpla dressed as Utena Tenjou from Revolutionary Girl Utena and a Chuchu-themed custom Demi Trainer. Videos on gunpla diorama construction.

https://incoherent-orca.tumblr.com/post/750501055681413120 - Sulemio art by the G-Witch staff.

https://incoherent-orca.tumblr.com/post/750341224176795648/did-they-even-hug-the-artbook-though - Anime scenes and G-Witch staff art of Miorine being clingy with Suletta.

https://elioherondale.tumblr.com/post/750419275455627264/the-traveler-yet-walks-onwards-towards-a-shining - Destiel-themed parody of Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem, "Ozymandias".

https://xxsiegeubsessedxx.tumblr.com/post/750615446013853696/you-arent-immune-to-lesbians - Parody art of an old U.S. army recruitment poster, with Suletta urging people to vote Sulemio.

https://knockknockitsnickels.tumblr.com/post/750861564977020928/suletta-miorine-redraws-of-iconic-char - Art of Suletta and Miorine re-enacting iconic Char Aznable scenes (which themselves frequently get memed).

https://bace-jeleren.tumblr.com/post/750587225223446529/i-couldnt-help-myself-i-had-to-make-some-art-to - Art of Suletta and Miorine dressed as Dean and Castiel respectively.

https://verraise.tumblr.com/post/751019430886178816/congratulations-to-my-ship-of-all-timeeeee - Sulemio/G-Witch merch collection and display.

https://kaban-bang.tumblr.com/post/750956121635880960 - Art redraw of an infamous scene from the comic Invincible, with Suletta in place of Mark Grayson (warning: lots of blood).

Data

https://www.tumblr.com/sodasa-was-taken/750973801504899072/also-of-note-is-that-by-round-3-sulemio-already - Poll statistics and commentary.

https://tamaotamamura.tumblr.com/post/750607299417096192/its-a-ghost-from-the-2010s-sleep-well-grandpa - Commentary on the poll by Korean and Japanese Sulemio fans.

https://www.tumblr.com/amalgamasreal/750665351494238208/bringing-this-back-for-the-people-who-want-to-talk - Photographs of a 2023 Pride parade in Warsaw, Poland, in which a large sign featuring Suletta Mercury was displayed.

https://gurrenprime.tumblr.com/post/750402869030797313/11-life-size-gundam-transforms - Brief overview of the history of Mobile Suit Gundam in general, and The Witch from Mercury in particular. Three examples of popular memes Gundam has inspired. Two videos showcasing lifesize animatronic Gundam statues.

https://www.tumblr.com/littlegaygirly/750420814002798592/my-space-lesbians - Analysis on Suletta's and Miorine's relationship.

https://incoherent-orca.tumblr.com/post/750415682315993088 - Linguistics lesson involving the Korean localization of The Witch from Mercury.

https://www.tumblr.com/osakanone/750482397445931008/update - Extensive notes on fandom history, the queerness (both textual and subtextual) of Gundam, and fanworks as lost media.

https://www.tumblr.com/matrixdragon/750803839916097536/it-had-no-right-to-be-as-fun-as-it-was-and-had - Data on previous poll numbers for Sulemio. Photographs of the Yokohama Gundam Factory closing ceremony. Descriptions of many other Gundam shows.

https://smoltron.tumblr.com/post/750709653103689728/1991s-getter-robo-go-manga-is-also-a-very-direct - Discussion of Gundam history in particular and mecha history in general, with mentions of Neon Genesis Evangelion and Getter Robo Go.

https://touchoffleece.tumblr.com/post/750932621568163841/for-others-who-might-want-to-see-the-actual - Brief overview of why Suletta and Miorine are significant to Gundam history. Video of the Yokohama Gundam Factory closing ceremony.

https://www.tumblr.com/thelastbigkat/750687982920581120/gundams-impact-can-be-felt-not-only-in-the-things - Discussion of media that influenced Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury, poll statistics, and mecha RPGs.

https://sharkbatez.tumblr.com/post/750917362328518656/now-for-some-psa-in-asia-marriage-equality-is - Memes about the match-up based on the first duel between Guel and Suletta. PSA concerning marriage equality in Asia.

Shameless Self-Promotion

https://paxesoterica.tumblr.com/post/750322033801510912/hail-destiel-fans-know-that-you-have-my

Some kayfabe I wrote toward the beginning; it's a micro-history of the G-Witch fandom, with a declaration of our will to win, written with my best impression of a hot-blooded super robot pilot who is also a pretentious Shakespearean nerd. Someone noted that I sound a yuri town crier, a compliment I appreciate.

https://paxesoterica.tumblr.com/post/750465124605870080/the-sulemio-japan-tour - Masterlist of all videos relating to the Sulemio Japan Tour skits (with bonus trips to the orbit of Mercury and New York City).

https://paxesoterica.tumblr.com/post/750561169104928768/hail-again-destiel-fans-our-duel-has-reached-its

Second and last bit of kayfabe I wrote (in the same voice as the previous piece); I offered examples of some over-the-top insults that both the show and fandom of G-Witch have received. This bit of writing was compared to both Mashymre Cello from Mobile Suit Gundam ZZ and Urianger Augurelt from Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn, and I honestly don't know either character well enough to know how I should feel about that. ?_?

https://paxesoterica.tumblr.com/post/750485058864005120/well-yeah - An example of my extremely dubious sense of humor.

https://paxesoterica.tumblr.com/post/750579878836011008/eh-you-want-some-soup-wellwere-enemies-right - Another example of my extremely dubious sense of humor, soup edition. I am in no way responsible for making the video.

https://paxesoterica.tumblr.com/post/750765994169040896 - Video of Suletta and Miorine dancing in a parody of Yakuza 0. Again, no responsibility for creating the video, but I think both the various 3d cgi and gunpla stop motion animated videos G-Witch fans have created are very impressive (and more people should check them out).

https://paxesoterica.tumblr.com/post/750956102760398848 - A set of screenshots with slightly modified dialogue from the first episode of the anime Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury, followed by a bit of fan animation that still makes me laugh everytime I see it. This post seems to have been well received, and I'm glad because it was a pain in the neck to make, and I considered giving up a couple times before I completed it.

I wanted to be ready with an appropriate tribute in the event that Sulemio won (which I did not take for granted until it was actually over), and knew that I wanted to include the Suletta emoting video as part of it.

All of the 'who are these girls' questions reminded me of Vim Jeturk's reaction in the first episode, so that was the basis for me including that particular scene.

Unfortunately, I only settled on these ideas a couple days before the poll's end, during which I had no access to my computer, and thus had to do everything, from taking screenshots, to adding in altered dialogue, to struggling to remember my password for the website since the app has a 10 image posting limit, to looking for the correct storage file for the images, on my phone. Quite the experience, but not a recommended one.

The shot with the feathers and light rays was included as an allusion to Castiel's angelic nature.

Hannigram and Ineffable Husbands were named because, like Destiel, they're live action mlm ships (albeit much more difficult opponents, much like the corresponding princes in the show).

I wasn't quite sure what lines would match Suletta's expressions, but then I remembered the oldtype Gundam fan saying, "It is always correct to take pot shots at Bandai", and things worked out from there.

The exact wording of Miorine's final line gave me a bit of trouble, but I'm happy with what I came up with.

Whew! Hope some folks out there find this list useful, and in any event, have a good rest of your weekend.

[pagannatural]

Season 1. Wincest Narrative

The way this story unfolds is so, so beautiful and I lose my mind a little when I think about it as a whole. When it opens, the brothers haven’t spoken in 3 or 4 years even though they've both desperately wanted to, and they both think the other doesn't want them. The first time they see each other after Sam walks out, they struggle in the dark and pin each other to the ground and then run away together.

Season character arcs

Sam begins the season ostensibly satisfied with his life at Stanford, with a career plan and a long-term relationship. Two things have to happen to disrupt that- Dean coming back into his life, and Jessica being killed. Kind of a switcheroo. 

Sam was going to marry his Dean-replacement girlfriend. He was never going to talk about his past even though he still thought about it all the time, still looked up cases and tried to follow along with what was happening in Dean’s life. He was going to box his past up and put it away forever and pretend to fit in because this is the life he chose, and because Dean didn't pick him. And then Dean literally breaks through Sam's careful barriers and all it takes is a gruff “yeah well I don’t want to [do this without you]", and Sam packs his bags. He doesn't even look back when Jessica asks where he’s going. He doesn’t kiss her goodbye. 

The way Dean appears to Sam as this dangerous, rough-around-the-edges, so familiar and so alive and so secret fork in the road is just delicious.

Dean starts the season believing that Sam has rejected and abandoned him. He wants his little brother back so badly, but he truly thinks Sam doesn’t want him. He finally has something to approach Sam with that maybe Sam will care about enough to come back to him- their dad, missing. I haven't seen this episode but I know later in the show Dean says he waited for hours outside before he broke in, agonizing over what Sam would say.

Over the course of the season Dean pursues Sam and shows him that he will protect him, keep him safe, choose him, respect him, and save him. The one thing he won't do is corrupt him, which is what he believes their feelings for each other would do. That's a conflict he'll bring into next season, but Sam decides to love him anyway. Sam tries so hard to hold onto the world outside of Dean but he ends up succumbing. By the end of the season, they’ve accepted that they're the most important things to each other.

John’s role is crucial to Sam and Dean’s relationship

Sam wants to belong and to be his own person. John is the force dictating his life before he leaves, so he has to get away from John. It’s not possible for Sam to grow up without breaking from his dad.

John gives bundled baby Sammy to Dean the night of the fire and that’s pretty much the way their relationships with each other form. John has handed Sam off to Dean. They hold conflicting positions in Sam’s life. 

John is a larger-than-life god-like figure to Dean. He’s distant and he has all the answers and all the power and his word is law, and Dean’s contract with him is to Take Care of Sam. So Dean serves this purpose under John’s rule until they reach a point at which Dean can’t take care of Sam without breaking from John and growing up. That rupture came to a head when Sam left for Stanford and Dean takes his first steps toward replacing John when John goes missing, by going to Sam. Dean makes the first move after years have passed to reconnect, something not even John would do.

Sam and Dean are fighting against getting close again for different reasons

Sam wishes he could have a normal life. A normal life is by necessity also a life distant from Dean. In the first episode, when Dean drops Sam off at Stanford and tells him they made a pretty good team, Sam looks conflicted and chokes out a “yeah” before watching Dean drive away. He knows they make a good team, that’s not the problem. Throughout this season, he is at war with wanting to be with Dean vs wanting to be normal.

From the very first episode and throughout the entire season, it’s obvious that they were very close before Sam left. They make each other angry and they make each other laugh and they communicate just by looking at each other- strategizing and seeking each other’s opinions and assessing each other’s needs in glances. They instantly fold back into each other’s lives, they save each other over and over. They gravitate toward each other and walk in sync and stand in each other’s spaces. There’s this sense that they know one another, not just better than anyone else, but better than anyone could ever possibly know them. It's clear to the viewer that they're matching puzzle pieces.

And I don’t think Sam’s conflict is actually about hunting versus normal at all. Sam rediscovers his love and aptitude for hunting right away. He feels fulfilled, admires Dean, and enjoys himself much of the time. In “It’s a Terrible Life” (s4) he still asks Dean to run away with him and be hunters together in an alternate universe. So his conflict centers on John and Dean. 

At this point Sam thinks Dean sided with John and abandoned him when he stopped hunting. But it’s more than feeling hurt and abandoned by Dean- Sam literally cannot have both Dean and a life. Dean is all-consuming. Sam could get the things he needs from Dean- belonging and respect- if it weren’t for two things: 1, Dean is still unwilling to break from John in a way that matters and 2, the way that they love each other is so abnormal it feels impossible.

Sam is unwilling to put Dean above everything else because it is in fact a dichotomy- Dean is bigger than just a brother, he can’t fit into Sam’s life as just another part of it. Sam knows that. 

Dean’s conflicts mirror Sam’s. Sometimes he resents hunting and wishes his life could’ve been normal. He faces the same dichotomy- once he becomes more independent from John, he can either have a family and home of his own or he can have Sam, and he hates himself partly because what he wants more is Sam. He knows that's not normal and thinks a part of Sam hates him for it. One reason their connection is so fraught with guilt and shame is because it's sexual/psychosexual, which is why I personally tag everything wincest. The way sexual and romantic relationships are so often a blatant point of conflict between them, the way their scenes are often shot like sex scenes, the jealousy and possessiveness, the way they touch each other, the fact that they see each other as desirable. It all points to a love complicated by sex. I have no problem with the idea of them as platonic soulmates, but I honestly think the text supports just straight-up wincest.

And actually they're not soulmates

They're twin flames. The idea that they're soulmates comes in later, but I think it's more precise and also more useful to the narrative to understand them as twin flames.

Twin flames are one soul split into two people, and their purpose is to cause one another to grow and be challenged by their connection. They're halves and also mirrors. That's why their dynamic is so often this push-pull, why their connection is so palpable, why they find each other in every universe and why they know each other so impossibly deeply. Narratively, one is often pursuing the other and they tend to push each other to the deepest depths of highs and lows. They separate, but they always come back to each other.

[reyolfx]

you know what just absolutely drives me fucking insane about cas's deal with the empty is that if he'd just told sam and dean they would have dealt with it. they've dealt with literally everything else that's ever been thrown at them, they've dealt with apocalypses and satan and the darkness, they've killed death, they beat god. they COULD HAVE gotten him outta his deal, the empty has actually shown itself to be pretty fuckin weak when it comes to what it wants vs what it "should" do so????

it just feels so POINTLESS. they could have figured a way out of the deal and cas coulda lived and he and dean coulda loved each other and they coulda been happy.

ugh. destiel depression has me by the throat right now

[shallowseeker]

Dean’s grief on speedrun

How long was Cas dead, anyway?

I think they reunited around day 18-24 days ish. The scripts give us some clues. (Based on this post)

==Dean is grieving hard==

He’s not in denial, like Sam seems to be -> “Is he really dead?” “You know he is.”

And because Dean now knows Chuck & Amara, he’s not getting stuck in bargaining stage (his usual MO). There is no door of hope to leave ajar after the cosmic consequences are rendered. (Not even the symbolic going-through-the-motions kind that he never intends to open again.)

No, this time, Dean’s in the throes of an incredibly frightening, paralyzing despair (images).

This is partially due to the fact that he saw it coming, and he fought so hard. He resolved to avoid the looming, cosmic consequences, to “not let Cas walk away, not again (script).” Dean made up his mind to act to protect the, “everything he’s ever wanted (script).”

And still, everything went so wrong.

///

The grief, then, is different. It’s a despair born of crushed hopes and dreams. Not to mention, forgiveness and acceptance—as Dean got onboard to help Cas, regardless of his own misgivings, because Cas “had faith in the kid.” This time, he stood behind Cas when he asked, and it still went rotten.

After everyone dies, Dean pleads with God/Chuck. Chuck is the one who brought Cas back before and the only one who seems able to rebuild angels. He doesn’t answer.

Even though Dean had a special connection to Amara, the one who resurrected his burned-up, supposed-to-stay-dead mother, she doesn’t answer either.

This time, he knows they’re out there, perhaps even listening. And they’re not answering because Dean’s run out of free passes and miracles.

This time, that knowledge crushes him where he stands.

///

DAY 1-2 (Lost and Found)

13x01 starts in the twilight hours after the big Lucifer fight.

Dean takes a shot at Jack, and Jack flees.

Heaven and Hell hunt them relentlessly.

They retrieve Jack from North Cove police station.

An angel stabs Jack in the chest with an angel blade, and he seems astonished to be “fine.”

Sam and Dean take time to grieve and scatter ashes.

The funeral occurs that evening, and they quickly get on the road.

///

DAY 3 ish (The Rising Son)

In 13x02, they're still driving home from the funeral towards the bunker, "12 hours till we get home," and Sam convinces Dean to stop at a motel.

Addition: When they eat, Jack remarks that he's 3 days old. "3 days, 17 hours, and 42 minutes."

Over the course of this episode, per the script, 2 days pass.

They eat dinner, go to a tattoo parlor, meet up with Donatello, and stay overnight in the motel.

Heaven and Hell continue to hunt them relentlessly.

Sam, Dean, and Donatello debate nature vs nurture, with Dean and Donatello leaning towards nature.

Sam psycho-analyzes Dean and delivers euphemisms to Jack about Dean “wanting to protect everyone and getting his wires crossed,” but ultimately, he isn’t forthcoming to Jack about the reality of the situation. (That is, it was Lucifer that killed Cas, and Lucifer who pulled Mary into another world--that Dean's grieving!) These important details might've helped Jack to understand his situation with a lot more clarity and grace. This will cause Jack to cool towards Sam when Dean reveals the truth during an argument.

Demons find them the next morning.

In fact, Dean nearly dies against a common demon, getting cornered on a hotel bed, but he is saved at the last minute by Sam’s interference.

Jack, tricked by Asmodeus, nearly releases the Shadim.

They drive home.

Later, Jack freaks out about being impervious to stabbing. In his new bunker room, he laments, “What the hell am I? I can’t control… whatever this is. I will hurt someone.”

Dean tells him he will be Jack's executioner if Jack loses control.

At most, it's been only 5 days since everyone died.

///

DAY 5 ish (Patience)

13x03 picks up mere hours after they get home, and it covers 5 days total. So, that brings us to a decently solid total of 10-ish days when this episode finishes.

Dean can't bear to be in the bunker with mission-mode Sam and Jack, so he takes off on a hunt.

Clearly in no shape to hunt, Dean dies at the hands of a wraith (and so does Jody). They are both saved by Patience’s interference.

Dean tells Patience there’s no joy in this life. Only pain and death.

Sam and Dean have a huge fight about Jack, during which Dean accidentally gives Jack context to the situation (re: Cas’s death, Mary’s plight). This causes Jack, already exhausted by Sam’s well-meaning training regimen, to cool towards Sam the next morning.

Cas appears to awaken in The Empty on day 9 or 10.

///

DAY 10-11 ish (The Big Empty)

13x04 SEEMS like the very next morning, because Dean AND Jack are both still chilly towards Sam. The air is described as arctic, with Dean giving Sam a, "don't even try it, motherfucker," face. Jack accuses Sam of wanting to use him as an interdimensional can opener and "being just like Asmodeus," and Sam comes clean about the truth.

Sam pushes them all to go on a case together. Jack says he doesn’t want to go at first. Sam wants Jack to go with them for the express purpose of forcing Dean to be around him and warm up to him, which isn’t fair to Dean or Jack…not really.

This storyline covers the family therapy scene (great analysis), wherein an interesting attempt at therapy is made under dishonest constraints.

Dean, still clearly in no shape to hunt, is easily overtaken by the shifter and nearly dies. He is saved by Jack’s interference.

According to the script, 13x04 occurs over 4 days. Commentary//

That means that Dean thawed to Jack, after our total of a mere 14 days. By the end of this episode, they're on shaky terms, and by the beginning of 13x06, calling out to each other in a friendly manner, "How was the case?"

Jack "puts a dent in Dean's armor," per the script, even before he saves them with his powers. Dean is doing everything he can not to like Jack, and it’s clear from the script that he’s failing.

At the end of the episode, Dean tells Sam to absorb the weight of the hunting burden, because he’s got no hope left.

Cas appears to awaken in a field on day 14. Presumably, his ashes are in the middle of nowhere, and he starts walking.

///

DAY 14-20 ish? (Advanced Thanatology)

Here’s where it gets foggier.

I can't tell exactly when 13x05 picks up with respect to the previous episode, but it seems like only a little bit of time has passed.

I would say a week at most has passed, but possibly as little as a day or two, and the case itself, per the script, covers another 4 days.

However, if Cas awoke in The Empty on day 10, and woke in the field around day 14, I think I favor a shorter timeline here with some of the “days” being overlapping back story from the case itself.

Anyway, Jack has been making his way through Sam's DVDs, "Red Sonja, Beast Master, Beast Master II." Commentary//

Sam does not intuit why Dean is up late at night/early twilight hours, making a PB & J (analysis).

Sam tries to remedy Dean’s overwhelming grief by pushing breakfast beer and strip clubs toward him. Alcohol to numb the pain + sexy stuff as a distraction. Now more than ever, Dean seems to perform those only for Sam’s benefit. (It seems Sam did not pay attention to Mia Vallens's therapy, except as a means to validate his own motives for trying to save Mary. Ouch! Poor Sam!)

Sam is not great with empathy here, bless my neurodivergent man-child. He’s dealing with a loss of his own, of course, and he’s been shown to be an impatient, mission-motivated griever (analysis).

Anyway, he’s completely at sea with Dean’s powerful grief, and he seems tragically unaware of Dean's close calls/being off his game over the course of the last few hunts.

Sam, perhaps understandably, wants Dean to be there for him n’ Jack, as caretaker and comrade, but Dean is too mentally wounded to bear the weight of that expectation. (Btw, I don’t think Sam really “gets” the Cas thing till 15x09 The Trap: Sam’s future is symbolized by Eileen-as-hope (analysis) and Sam realizes Dean’s future is built around Cas-as-foundation.) Dean dies...again//

Dean attempts suicide.

He tells Billie he doesn’t matter.

After he revives, Dean tells Sam, “No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay… And I would take the hit… And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know.”

This is an elegant parallel to season 7’s grieving Dean, about his not being able to “shake” what happened with Cas, and admitting, “he doesn’t know why.” (Cas is different. Cas has always been different.) In season 7, he also says, “I’ll do what I can,” in response to Sam telling him to get his head in the game and stay alive. Cas is a core wound in both scenarios.

///

==Death & resurrection==

So, that would bring our guesstimate to Cas reuniting with the boys around 20-24 days. So, at most a little over 3 weeks but possibly closer to 4, especially if the backstory timelines of actual “case days” overlap, like 13x05 potentially does.

I am reasonably certain Cas awakened in the field near day 14. I’d personally put the actual reunion at 18-20 ish days, and certainly not longer than a month. They reunite in early June, I think. Blackberries are a summer fruit, and there are wild blackberries in the field where Cas awakens.

Dean drives to Cas and meets up with him, "in the middle of nowhere," so it seems Cas's grave and subsequent walk to civilization was in quite a remote area.

///

Going back through this, I was pretty astounded how Dean kept dying or nearly dying in those days following Cas’s death. He was definitely in no state to be hunting.

(images from CSN, SPN wiki, fangirlism.com)

[idkiwasntsupposedtobebackhere]

rating all the beefs between rory’s love interests:

4. dean VS logan. they saw eachother one time and dean just decided to drive away and never see rory again instead of entering his third homoerotic love triangle situation. i guess they do learn. the narrative told us that rory is ready to date rich guys now. the narrative is NOT gonna make me feel bad for dean. pretty boring, nothing happened. 5/10

who did i root for? i was ready for dean to gtfo already but you’re not gonna catch me saying i rooted for logan in any situation. let’s go with nobody. if they actually would have interacted it would have been such a loser-off. i still think emily and lorelai respectively are the ones who actually wanted these men for rory.

3. dean VS tristan. the first one. will always be funny. I’LL CALL YOU WHEN I NEED MY TAXES DONE is one of dean’s maybe 2 contributions to the series. he made me chuckle once, okay. barely. these two morons fighting over season one rory who just wanted to read thick books at benches and didn’t gaf is so unserious. respect to my girl, though. this was the strong start of several similar situations. poor rory. 6/10

who did i root for? tristan is hotter, more charismatic and just, you know, not dean. but rory did want to be with dean (for some reason) and clearly didn’t want to be with tristan (who just couldn’t get the hint already). so i guess my answer here is nobody too. i don’t like to see dean winning, so i’m not gonna contribute to that

2. logan VS jess. jess ended team logan on a striking level. like woah. self-made, hot, unbothered, funny. logan was catching strays here, holy shit. it was incredible to watch. one of the best episodes of the show. who i rooted for is pretty clear. 9/10. this beef, however, will never top…

1. jess VS dean. 10/10. chef’s kiss. mwuah. the tension😭😭😭😭 the way they focused more on their feud with eachother than actually dating rory. the way they went out of their way to find the other around town to deliver a threatening message or just annoy the other. (also the way they made fun of the other’s shitty job while having a shitty job themselves. like whatever makes you feel better😭). the way jess bought that basket just because dean looked all tall and mad and it was funny😍 the way dean was bothered as hell by jess before jess even knew who he was😭😭😭😭😭 you just know they wrote angry diary entries about eachother. as you can see, dean is dominating this list and is in a situation such as this every thursday, but you just know this one hit different for him.

just kiss already. that’s what i rooted for.

[johannestevans]

god, the use of spice as a euphemism drives me up the wall.

something something "their filthy erotica vs. our beloved spice"

EXACTLY, like. It's that creation of a double standard, and the use of euphemism to create somehow like, more literary smut.

I used to really dislike the trend in the noughties of people referring to fanfic with erotica in as "sinful" or "dirty", or when people would be like "ohhh I'm going to HELL for reading this" and it would be like. Dean and Castiel having missionary sex on a shitty motel bed.

Because, you know, homophobia, and specifically a lot of that anti-sex attitude, and the use of words like "spice" and "heat level" and whatever else just feels similar - it's not as loaded as using words like "filth" or "sinful", don't get me wrong, but it's just that like.

Sidestepping around language, because as soon as you call it bluntly what it is, you somehow feel you're denigrating the work, because you just naturally think badly of it.

[soullessjack]

"tell me on anon what you wouldn’t off anon"

i think dean was straight up abusive towards jack and while there is room for redemption to be explored, in canon, the show did not give him any sort of redemption. in other words in my eyes "canon" dean winchester is an abuser (but canon is unimportant anyways so whatever)

im scared of saying this and getting stoned to death

no need to comment you can just post this without saying anything if you want

- 🏴‍☠️

no no you’re right and you should say it, however I disagree that Dean was completely abusive and that there was never any canon redemption.

firstly I think there’s a slight difference in someone being abusive vs being an abuser;

abuse (or abusive behavior/tendencies) can happen accidentally, unintentionally, especially if it’s resulted from trauma (like Dean’s). you can be completely unaware that something you’ve done or said is abusive, especially because being abusive can be as simple as yelling or hitting someone, or treating them unfairly (like jack). people who have abusive tendencies or behaviors are capable of regretting it and wanting/trying to change…whereas an abuser is wholly aware, intentional and remorseless about their actions. they know what they are doing, they know it’s immoral/inhumane and they just don’t care—either because they feel entitled or justified in some way, or even if they don’t.

Dean has repeatedly shown plenty of regret, guilt and blatant self hatred for his abusive tendencies and how they affect the people around him. It’s one of the most important parts of his character, being the crux of his self worth and why he can’t accept that people (Cas) genuinely care about him or consider him a good person. When he refers to himself as “daddy’s blunt instrument” or “poison,” it isn’t just about being a hunter whose life constantly risks other peoples inescapably, it’s also about the violent nature that’s instilled into Dean constantly by John and how both of those things either isolates him from getting close to anyone else, or drives away people who do get close. That’s why there’s no light at the end of the tunnel for Dean, why he’s so resigned to dying bloody. It’s all he thinks he can ever have or really deserve.

When Jack is dying in 14x07, Dean physically cannot stand to see it. He’s angry that Jack is dying so young and so out of nowhere; he thinks it’s unfair and wrong, point blank. But above all else, (as Sam says) Dean canonically has never forgotten or forgiven himself for how he had treated Jack, even though by this point in time they’ve already had a good relationship for the past two years. He’s angry and upset that Jack is dying, but he’s also upset because he still thinks, after all this time, that he’s never been able to fully make up for what he did, and now he’s lost any chance to with Jack’s limited time. That’s why Dean decides to take him on the road trip; that’s why he says “Who would’ve thought being around me (the person who treated you terribly at one point) would make you (the person who didn’t deserve it) sentimental?”

When Dean leaves Jack’s room for the last time and wounds up being absent for his death, he’s even more upset about it, and later brings it up to take a dig at Sam for thinking he didn’t do enough for Jack because, by Dean’s own admission, Sam had always been the one to do more. “At least you were there for him [because I wasn’t, and I see that as another failure on top of everything else I did to him before].” And then, after the three of them get hammered in Jack’s memory, Dean turns to Cas and asks, “we did everything we could, right?” There’s a lot more in 14x07 but I’ll leave it alone for now, and move onto the redemption part of what you said.

I know I said I disagreed, but really it’s only partially; instead I believe that the show simply didn’t give enough time for a complete redemption (save me spn revival wish fulfillments, spn revival wish fulfillments save me). The end of S14 is basically the destruction of the Team Free Will 2.0 found family unit, not just between Dean and Cas, but also between Dean and Sam, and Jack and the three of them. And I think the reason there’s so much more emphasis on Dean’s relationship with Jack (+ why the family unit falling apart is specifically centered on it) is specifically because of how they started; Dean was initially the only one to be distrustful of Jack and mistreat him as a result, whereas Sam and Cas were willing to see Jack with more humanity and goodness, and when Jack proved that he was good that was the crux of Dean’s guilt going forward; his distrust was wrong and misguided, and the abuse he put Jack through because of it was even more wrong and undeserved.

But then after Mary’s death, the three of them have no idea what to think. They’re more reluctant than Bobby is to admit that Jack could have simply had his evil bone activated after losing his soul/eating Michael’s grace, but they aren’t excluding the idea either. The question up in the air now is: “Was Dean right all along? Were we wrong for trusting Jack and thinking he was good? Is all of this our fault?” (and going back to 14x07, the basic ‘framework’ of Dean’s dynamic with Jack is basically ‘I was wrong about you being evil and now that I love you I want to be keep being wrong about you being evil’ and ‘I want you to be wrong about me being evil too, especially now that you love me and I love you’).

Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack are all presented with the worst case scenario that had always been hanging over Jack’s entire existence. None of them want to believe it after growing so close to him (and vice versa), but they’re not given much else to consider. Mary’s death was one thing, one horrible tragic wound reopening, but they knew it was an accident and they knew Jack had tried to fix it. It isn’t until Duma got her claws into Jack and ordered him to kill nonbelievers that TFW finally decides they have to do something final about Jack, and Dean resumes his militant Kill All Monsters behavior. He’s dissociating into the blunt instrument mindset to protect himself from the grief of losing his mother and potentially losing his son. He can’t even bear to consider Jack his son anymore, both because of Mary and the task of killing him, so Jack becomes “just another monster,” in his dissociative mind. His son wouldn’t have killed Mary or tortured Nick or murdered people randomly because his son was a good person, and his son does not deserve to die, but whatever identical monster has inexplicably replaced Jack would certainly do that and certainly does deserve to die.

Dean’s “poison” is rooted in the fact that his coping mechanisms are intertwined with abusive tendencies and behaviors. He pushes people away if he thinks he doesn’t deserve their respect or love, and he buries any emotional attachment to them because he knows it’s his greatest weakness. That’s why he couldn’t bring himself to shoot Jack, regardless of the grief he felt for Mary or how much he tried to see Jack as a monster that wasn’t really his son. When Jack knelt down, said “I understand. I know what I’ve done. And you were right all along. I am a monster,” and then waited for the gun to go off, that’s what snapped Dean out of it. That’s what got him to see that this was still his son—that and the road trip from 14x07 flashing before his eyes. The grief he feels for Mary’s death is still painful and will be for a long time, but he won’t let it cloud him from seeing that his son is still there and still a good person who deserves the chance to make it right and be forgiven.

That militant dissociation comes back again following Jack’s death and Chuck’s retaliation/reveal that they’ve been nothing but a bunch of lowbrow Truman Burbanks to an unfeeling deity their entire lives. The most recent Destivorce is because Dean has constantly been pushing Cas away and severing their ties to cope with the situation. It’s bad throughout all of S15, but it’s especially worse towards the end when Dean is rampant on Jack’s suicide bomb plan happening for a chance at freedom. I’ve seen a LOT of people say that Dean’s love is conditional because of this, but it really…isn’t.

If Dean never cared about Jack, he’d never take time out of his life to spend some final moments with him, or share a specific father/son memory with him to indirectly communicate that he does see Jack as a son, but ultimately doesn’t feel like he deserves to be a father. If he truly felt that Jack “wasn’t family,” he wouldn’t have shown any of the concern for Jack that he did after Jack detonated in the Empty (frantically demanding to know if he’s alive and to bring him back); he wouldn’t have tried to apologize to Jack for hearing it, and he wouldn’t have *checks transcript* reacted in mild horror at Jack agreeing with what he said (and personally, if I’m insulting someone, I would want them to feel the same way that I feel).

Additionally, If Dean’s love is conditional, particularly on the basis of how useful someone is to him, then he wouldn’t have been expecting Jack to come back home with them or considering buying him actual gifts (a flat screen TV and a recliner, specifically for his room in the Bunker I might add) for saving the world.

Out of all the problems S15 had, I think the pacing was the absolute worst. Too many plots and one-off characters and plot devices squeezed into a short amount of episodes; too much focus put into filler instead of plot progression, etc etc. But what it absolutely missed out on was granting any of the characters any proper closure. I think that’s why Dean’s conflict with Jack feels so unresolved and unredeemed. Dean gets mean -> Dean feels bad -> Dean gets nice again, but that’s about it. For now I tend to view his dynamic with Jack as them being two sides of the same coin: Dean feels like he doesn’t deserve to be a father figure to Jack after everything he did, and Jack feels like he doesn’t deserve to be a part of their family as a son after everything he did.