#dean my hot bean

[shadyteacup]

oh beloved!!! i have some mountain <3

can you tell hes my favourite uwu

:0

Why is he so hot?? Damn?!!

[ultravioletrayz]

my mum and I went out yesterday (celebrating our respective sobriety and my upcoming birthday) and she insisted on buying me a supernatural calendar for 2025 💀💀

[eepy-pleepy]

Gay af for a man to wear hot dog pants tbh

Like what, relish some buns and wieners, do you?

[bigbigtruck]

It's getting chilly again so I'm gonna share a cheap hearty easy recipe I like to make in winter

1 tube-thingy hot & spicy sausage (my mom always used Jimmy Dean; I've used turkey sausage and spicy Impossible sausage, your pref)

2 russet potatoes, chopped into bite size pieces (you can use red or gold potatoes, but they aren't as cheap and take a little longer to cook)

1 can black beans, undrained

1 can kidney beans, undrained

1 16 oz can tomatoes, stewed, whole, diced, whatever (I like the fire roasted kind)

1 white onion, diced (yellow is fine too)

2 or 3 cloves garlic, diced

1 or 2 bay leaves

chicken broth or water (I combine them), enough to cover

salt, pepper, thyme and herbs to taste

Sweat the onions in a pan with a little oil or fat; add garlic, add sausage. Stir frequently til sausage is crumbly and brown and onions are caramelized. Throw EVERYTHING in a pot. Stovetop at medium heat or crock pot, whatever. Just dump it all in there. (stir it up of course) I prefer crock pot bc less supervision. Cook til potato chunks are soft. It's good out the pot but way better after 24 hours in the fridge, plus you can skim any excess fat off the top after it's been refrigerated.

Ideal if u live alone for bean reasons but also bc it runs me $7-10 to make 5~6 servings depending on where I shop (but we already have the herbs/bay leaf)

anyway it's good and SUPER fuckwithable if you need substitutions.

I hope nobody reblogged this before I remembered to add the canned tomatoes

[hawkstincan]

Get to know me tag game!

Tagged by @kitkatt0430 thanks for the tag <3<3<3

1. Do you make your bed?

Nope. I dropped making my bed as soon as my mom moved out. Maybe even before that. I sleep on two blankets and under a blanket. It’s just easier. And I toss a lot in my sleep and shits were always on the floor in the morning anyway. So I just stopped wasting my time and energy on making bed 

2. Favorite number?

I consider 666 and 13 lucky ones. And have a soft spot for 6 and 9

3. What’s your job?

Post office. Night shifts. Salary sucks but it’s like two steps from my apartment and I spend most of the shift alone there  

4. If you could go back to school would you?

Honestly? No. I’m too anxious to go back to learning. I dropped out the first time around. And I don’t really have passion for any subject to put myself through this kind of struggle. If I ever find something worth it maybe, but for now no      

5. Can you parallel park?

Nope, I’ve never learned how to drive

6. Do you think aliens are real?

I don’t have a strong opinion. But with the size of the Universe? I thinks that’s quite a possibility 

7. Can you drive a manual car?

Nope, I’ve never learned how to drive

8. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Hmm, Catwoman (2004) and other movies/shows I love but they are considered bad. And yeah, I know that catwoman is bad. But Halle Berry is so beautiful! And I have working eyes! (A Beginner's Guide to Endings on the other hand rated like 6 on imdb. I? I unironically think it’s a masterpiece) 

9. Tattoos?

Yep! I have four for now: snake biting its tail on my right ankle (it goes around the ankle like a bracelet);  flying crow on my right hand below the elbow; mass effect inspired geth crawling on my left shoulder and lightning and snowflakes (if you’re thinking it was inspired by ship you are right) all over my left hand below the elbow. Lightning goes on my palm and point finger. If I have more ‘spare’ money… I’ll get some more. I have ideas and places. 

10. Favorite color?

Purple since I fell in love with hawkeye. And it was black for the most of my life. I still love black. 

11. Favorite type of music?

Rock. Or metal? Or hard rock? I never thought too much about the types. So lets say rock. All the rock 

12. Do you like puzzles?

Kinda? I like them but they are usually very hard for me to solve. And I hate feeling stupid. I like idea but rarely try to really solve them

13. Any phobia?

Insectophobia. I can’t even go near some bugs. Just nope. I once almost jumped under the car to avoid a bug 

14. Favorite childhood sport?

Badminton. We never played by any rules. Just ‘do everything you can to keep the shuttlecock in the air’. And I was good at it. At school we once played with tennis rackets for almost two hours. Good times  

15. Do you talk to your self?

All the time xD Sometimes aloud. “You are a strong capable woman you CAN STOP READING AND FINISH THIS” can be heard every shift from me to me. Luckily I’m the only one hearing this xD 

16. What movies do you adore?

Wrath of Man and Pacific Rim and all Resident Evil movies (with Milla Jovovich) and 10 Things I Hate About You and Bring It On and MASH and From Dusk Till Dawn are my comfort movies/shows. I love the Critters trilogy. I love the new Star Trek trilogy. Nightmare on Elm Street (old ones). The Gentlemen. Old Guard. Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (I rewatched it like four times in a row). The Suicide Squad. The Boondock Saints. Ten Inch Hero. Drive Angry… Well. Like. I have weird taste in movies I guess? (I’ve mentioned only movies I saw more than 5 times)    

17. Coffee or tea?

Coffee. I can't find balance with tea. It’s either tasteless or makes me sick because it’s too strong. Coffee I can drink non stop. Hot and cold, instant and beans. I love the bitter taste of coffee.   

18. First thing you wanted to be growing up

Veterinarian, I think. I always loved animals and thought that being the one to heal them is the best career ever

Tagging (no pressure): @holycafe, @nixie-deangel, @luna-shimizu, @bedalk, @madsteacup, @mommalosthermind, @eaion, @thing2dani and whoever feels like participating :3

[lumosatnight]

Lani's Birthday Oneshots: 2023 Edition!

So, today is my birthday (SCREAMING!), and as a continuation of last year's tradition, I present a ONESHOT REC LIST to celebrate 🥳! Here are 15 oneshots, all under 10k words, one for each day in June leading up to my birthday. Lots of genres, lots of tropes, ordered by ship (kinda).

🌼 - fluff | 💔 - angst | 🔥 - smut | 👀 - mind the tags

—

1. Potter's Got a Tiny Dick (that I can't stop thinking about swallowing whole) by @vukovich [Draco/Harry, E, 4.1k] 🔥🤣 This is crack. Hilarious and filthy crack with bff Ginny, nasty car sex, and unhinged Draco wanting "Just a little nom of a cock."

2. Boy Wonder by @maesterchill [Draco/Harry/Ron, E, 6.1k] 🔥🎹 Established in love Rarry with Draco returned from abroad! Wonderful Ron characterization, witty snappy dialogue, and dacryphilia!!!

3. A Saving People Problem by @the-francakes [Draco/James, E, 5.9k] 🔥🏍️ Draco living at Grimmauld place, and James can't keep his eyes off of him. Oh heck yeah! Surprisingly sweet for such a hot cross-gen pairing. Also poor Harry lol.

4. Gray Eyes (Tell No Lies) by @danpuff-ao3 [Sirius/Draco, E, 3.7k] 🔥🍏 Draco with a lingerie kink! Sirius with a one-way magic mirror! So hot, so delectable. Throw in a praise kink too, and I'm drooling.

5. A Sight to Behold by @lumoslyra [Sirius/Luna, T, 2.5k] 🌼🥐 Luna and Sirius dancing around each other. Hermione watching it all and Harry is just confused. Super cute and sweet.

6. in rivulets, in waves by @dulosis [Bellatrix/Luna, M, 2.0k] 💔👀 Dark and deceptive. I couldn't put this fic down. What happens if Bellatrix survives the war? What if Luna takes her in?

7. Catch Me As I Fall by @this-world-of-beautiful-monsters [Bellatrix/Lily, T, 5.8k] 🌼💔 This fic is a wonderful AU of Lily befriending Bellatrix at Hogwarts. How she slowly changes, how she still is roped into the war. Just spectacular!

8. (give me) the first taste by @iamsiriuslyriddikulus [Narcissa/Lily, M, 4.4k] 💔🌿 Narcissa and Lily as hot moms smoking weed!!! Yes!! This Muggle AU is so well thought-out. The characters are so memorable. (Also I'm a sucker for flangst).

9. Love in a Hopeless Place by @dragonsandotters-dh [Remus/Narcissa, T, 4.6k] 💔🐺 So much hurt but also so much comfort. Draco gets bitten by Greyback. A heart-wrenching and hopeful look into the aftermath.

10. Male Bonding by musigneus [Remus/Severus, E, 9.8k] 🔥👀 This is angsty fuck-or-die to the max. Trapped in a cellar before the full moon. But it's SO GOOD and a somewhat hopeful ending.

11. Open a Vault For Me by Sevanna_OHera [Charity/Severus, M, 3.4k] 💔🧪 I found this pairing recently, and the angst level is off the charts. So much hope and longing in this fic and also a canon-compliant ending.

12. Table for One by @littlesixxwrites [Dean/Blaise, T, 3.2k] 🌼🎄 I LOVE THIS SHIP. Bean is the cutest. This fic has instantly smitten Blaise and equally enamored Dean. Lovely fluffy fic that made me squeal with happiness.

13. Maybe This Time (alternatively: once more, with feeling!) by @wanderingdonut [Regulus, G, 4.6k] 🤣👻 THIS FIC!! I died laughing from this fic, then I came back to life cackling and died all over again. Ghost Regulus is perfect. Snarky and entitled and wallowing in death lol.

14. toxicology by @batmansymbol [Hermione, G, 2.9k] 💔💌 A fascinating dive into the possible implication of Harry being a horcrux for so many years. I love how we view everything through Hermione's unreliable narration.

15. just a few sweaters by Prettything_uglylie [Molly, G, 2.4k] 🌼🧶 This story is a cup of hot cocoa in front of the fire. Warm and sweet and content. I adore it with my whole heart.

BONUS FIC (>10k): Tiny Dancer by @rainchance [Neville/Pansy, M, 12.4k] 🌼🩰 A super sweet Panville fic with ballet dancer Pansy and film student Neville. Wonderful background characters and mutual pining.

—

Want more fics to read?

Try my rec tag: #lumosinthelibrary

Bday Oneshots 2022, 22 Fic Recs 2022, WLW Library

[zmediaoutlet]

Do you ship... Soulless Sam/Dean? 😉

giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl --

on the one hand, duh

on the other hand, per the usual caveats, I'm not interested in actual non-con soulless/dean because that's too easy. like yeah he's naughty but he's not a doof

but ohhh there are so many weird and wonderful and nasty ways you can play it outside of noncon! It can be relieved first-time-in-a-year hookups with Dean so grateful to have his brother back that he doesn't quite look at how his brother isn't right, followed by the shocked betrayal of the soulless reveal -- it can be first time ever, with Dean or Sam finally acting on what they'd put aside for all those previous years, and ooooh what can be relished once the reveal happens -- it can be first time after the soulless reveal, which, !!!, although you'd have to massage Dean into a truly miserable place to get him to go for that -- etc etc. So many treats!!!

one of the things that makes the treats so fun is that s6 Dean is a desperate starving man. That year with Lisa was Fine but it wasn't at all sufficient -- like still being technically able to breathe, but your O2 saturation levels are dangerously low -- so when Sam comes back it's like his lungs finally expand all the way again. And then when it starts to go wrong -- that period where he's calling Bobby and is like that's not my brother (and he's right, kind of) -- he can't leave all the way -- and when Sam's problem is revealed, oh man. Dean's a cute bean but oh is he fun to torture. :)

then from Sam's POV -- he's not evil obviously but he's a shark. He wants to hunt and he wants to fuck and he wants to win, as he seduces all those wives away from their husbands and grins through sacrificing civilians to get the monster. You can load in whatever wincesty backstory you want and then the soullessness clarifies it to cold calculation: if it's a first time his souled self wanted, then he'll get it; if it's a first time Dean wants, he'll assess Dean as hot and available and, sure, he'll fuck him as a convenient option; if it's established relationship, he'll be glad to have reacquired a favorite hole, but god, if Dean keeps bitching about the soul thing then maybe he'll just go back to the chicks-- etc. ahaha it's so good.

and THEN, when real!Sam gets put back together, the guILT -- !!!

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (33)

*How the Tribute-Mentor first official meeting went*

Coryo: Hi, Birdy.

Lucy Gray: Hey, Snow White~.🥰 How’s it been? You still drunk?

Coryo: Not great, not terrible. Disappointingly sober.

Lucy Gray: Do you have food by any chance?

Coryo: Yeah. My super rich boyfriend brought me an extra sandwich earlier.

Lucy Gray: Can I have it?🥺

Coryo: Sure. I’m willing to trade it for a song.

Lucy Gray: Snow On The Beach?

Coryo: You know it, Bestie~.😌

Sejanus: Marcus~! Hey, Marcus! It’s me, Sejanus!😀

Marcus: *Still in denial* Who’s Marcus? I’m not Marcus.

Sejanus: Oh, c’mon! We literally met at the train station the other day!

Marcus: That wasn’t me.

Sejanus: I’m pretty sure it was you.

Marcus: Nope. Never met you before.

Sejanus: Stop lying, Marcus! I even introduced you to my gorgeous boyfriend!

Marcus: Nah, bro. That was a different Marcus, from a different District 2.

Sejanus: But- but there’s only one District 2?!😭

Festus: Yo, Carl! Carl from District 4, remember me?😀

Coral: Ugh! It’s Coral, stupid!

Festus: Well, whatever. Wanna go steal some food from the school kitchen?

Coral: Are we even allowed-

Festus: Never stopped me and my friends before. So you in?

Coral: Sure. Why not. Lead the way.

Persephone: What’s your favorite food?

Mizzen: Weird question, but fish, I guess? And you?

Persephone: Maid stew.

Mizzen: You mean meat stew, right?

Persephone: Sure! Maid stew is the best and cheapest meat in today’s market.

Mizzen: You mean meat stew, right?!

Persephone: *grins* If that’s what you want to hear.😈

Mizzen: Are you a canni-

Persephone: Wanna taste my homemade “beef” jerky?😀

Lysistrata: Hi, Jessup! It’s me! The Great Lizzie Vickers!

Jessup: Yo, Vitamin Girl, do you have more of those sugar pills you gave me the other day?

Lysistrata: Oh, those pills? That would be 4 cabbages and 2 cans of beans, please.🙂

Jessup: I thought you gave them to me for free?!

Lysistrata: Free? In this economy?!

Livia: If you haven’t heard of me before, I feel so sorry for you. So sorry.🙄💅

Facet: Slow down, girlie. We haven’t even introduced ourselves.

Livia: Fine. I’m Livia Cardew and my mama runs the biggest bank in Panem. And you?

Facet: I’m Facet the fantastic fashionista of District 1.

Livia: A fashionista?! What’s your favorite color?

Facet: Girl, hot pink is the only valid color in Panem.

Livia: Omg! I totally agree with you, bestie!

Facet: Do you like shopping?

Livia: Like?! I love shopping!

Facet: Heels or flats?😏

Livia: Heels forever!

Facet: Feathers or leather?

Livia: I live and breathe for both.

Facet: Girl, same.

Livia: You’re officially my new best friend. Let’s get out of here and go ✨shopping✨!

Facet: Lead the way, bestie!

Palmyra: Do you like tomato soup?

Velvereen: Yeah?

Palmyra: Do you want to try my homemade tomato soup?

Velvereen: Umm. . . Why does your “homemade” soup looks so weird?

Palmyra: It’s totally normal. I made it myself.

Velvereen: Girl, I’m gonna be honest with you.

Palmyra: Sure! I love honesty.😀

Velvereen: Your soup smells like rat poison.

Palmyra: It’s just for aesthetics.

Velvereen: I’m not sure-

Palmyra: Oh, don’t be scared! Do you want to try it or not?

Velvereen: *Sweats nervously* Is it fresh?

Palmyra: Define ✨fresh✨.

Felix: Hi, my name is-

Dill: Oh, please don’t tell me you’re a stupid Ravinstill!

Felix: Wha- Why?!

Dill: I would rather die than be mentored by one of President Ravinstill’s family members!

Felix: Oh.☹️

Dill: So are you?!😠

Felix: A Ravinstill?! Nope. Never. We’re not even related.

Dill: Prove it!

Felix: My name’s Philip Raven’s Bill and I’m just an ordinary law abiding citizen!

Dill: Raven’s Bill? That sounds fake-

Felix: I swear I’m Philip Raven’s Bill. Just ask the Dean.

Dill: Ok? *turns to Casca* Yo, Dean, is my mentor Philip Raven’s Bill?

Casca: Yeah! You got a problem with that?!

Dill: Oh, thank the heavens! My prayers have been answered!

Felix: So-

Dill: You’re now my new best friend, Philip!

Felix: *sweats nervously* Sure, Dill.

Clemensia: Hi. I’m your Mentor.

Reaper: *Glares* Are you normal?

Clemensia: Pretty much.

Reaper: Oh, thank Panem! Thank you, Panem! I got the normal one! The normal one! *starts happy dancing*

Clemensia: Sh*t. I got the weird one.

Florus: Sabyn, is it?

Sabyn: Yeah. And you?

Florus: Florus Friend, at your service-

Sabyn: Let me guess, your parents are a bunch of wealthy gardeners, who are secretly disappointed with you.

Florus: Dammit! How did you know?!

Sabyn: Honestly, just look at you.

Florus: Ughhh! I need to call my therapist!😩🔪

Sabyn: Sign me up too.

Io: Hi. My name is Io Jasper-

Circ: Are you smart?

Io: Yeah.

Circ: How smart?

Io: I can create a mini nuclear missile with a 2B pencil.😊

Circ: Marry me! Please, marry me!

Urban: *Bored AF* So Teslee, tell me, what’s your talent?

Teslee: Hacking.

Urban: You know how to hack?!😀 That’s quite amazing-

Teslee: Hacking your loser ass, you stupid ass nerd!😂

Urban: *flips the table* F*ck this!

Casca: *walks in* That’s another demerit for you, Mr. Turban!

Urban: It’s Urban! Dammit!🤬🔪

Dennis: Hey, Hy. I’m Dennis.

Hy: *coughs* Hi. I’m dying.

Dennis: You’re dying?! But we just met?!

Hy: Asthma is a b*tch.

Dennis: Asthma?! In this era?! I’m calling my doctor!

Hy: I think the Tributes are not allowed to-

Dennis: It’s fine! My doctor works at the Black Market.

Hy: Works where?!

Dennis: It’s totally legal, bro.😉

Iphigenia: Hi, Soul! I’m-

Sol: It’s Sol.

Iphigenia: Sal!😀

Sol: Sol.

Iphigenia: Ok.

Sol: I’m hungry.

Iphigenia: Ok.

Sol: Are you gonna feed me or what?

Iphigenia: Of course! I even bought a truck load of doughnuts just for you!

Sol: You what?!

Iphigenia: And here’s a basket of grapes and oranges-

Sol: Where the heck did you even harvest these?!

Iphigenia: And here’s a box of chicken nuggets and chocolates-

Sol: Slow down-

Iphigenia: And here’s a large bag of garlic fries and-

Sol: Are you the food fairy?!

Apollo: Hello, sunshine! I’m your-

Otto: Can I pet your hair?

Apollo: Sure!😀

Otto: It’s so smooth and fluffy.

Apollo: Thanks!☺️

Otto: What did you use to make it so soft?

Apollo: My dog’s shampoo!😊

Otto: Your dog’s what?!

Diana: Hello, moonshine! I’m Dia-

Ginnee: Where’s the booze?

Diana: I think I’m not allowed to-

Ginnee: Give me a bottle of posca and I’ll trade you a secret.

Diana: What kind of secret?😀

Ginnee: A spicy one.

Diana: About who?

Ginnee: About the Tributes.

Diana: Deal!

Vipsania: Hey.

Treech: Hi.

Vipsania: Cool hat, bro.

Treech: Thanks, bro.

Vipsania: You work out?

Treech: Yeah. And you?

Vipsania: Every single day, bro.

Treech: Cool. Me too.

Vipsania: Wanna skip this boring meeting and go to the gym, bro?

Treech: Sure. Lead the way, bro.

Pup: Hi. I’m your Mentor-

Lamina: *starts crying*

Pup: My name is Pliny.😀

Lamina: *is still crying*

Pup: But my friends call me Pup!

Lamina: Like a puppy?

Pup: Yes. That’s right!

Lamina: Can I have a puppy?🥺

Pup: I- I’m not sure if that’s allowed-

Lamina: *starts crying again* But I want to pet a cute puppy!😭

Pup: I told you that you’re not allowed-

Lamina: *is now wailing like a madman* Give me the cute puppy!!

Pup: *starts panicking* Apollo! Yo, Apollo Ring, help a brother out!

Apollo: what’s the problem, bro?

Pup: Let my Tribute pet you.

Apollo: Pet me? Oh, sure. No problem, bro!😊

Lamina: A puppy! I’m so happy! *starts petting Apollo’s head*

Pup: Yup. Problem solved.

Juno: Hello, peasant Bobby. I’m-

Bobbin: It’s Bobbin.

Juno: Whatever. I don’t care. I’m royalty.

Bobbin: Royalty?! Are you a Ravinstill?!

Juno: Better. I’m a Phipps!😎

Bobbin: A what?

Juno: A Phipps! The most ancient and noble family in all of Panem!

Bobbin: I still don’t get it.

Juno: Ughhh! I’m surrounded by stupid peasants.🙄💅

Hilarius: Hello, fellow human.

Wovey: What’s your name?

Hilarius: Umm. . . Don’t laugh. It’s Hilarius.

Wovey: Ok. I won’t laugh. So what is it?

Hilarius: I already told you.

Wovey: No, you didn’t.

Hilarius: Yes, I did. It’s Hilarius.

Wovey: What’s hilarious?

Hilarius: My name!

Wovey: Seriously, what’s your real name?

Hilarius: Hilarius!

Wovey: Are you joking right now?

Hilarius: Ughhh! Fine. You can call me Hilari.

Wovey: Hillary?! Now that’s hilarious!🤣

Gaius: Yo! You’re Pablo, right?😀

Panlo: It’s PAN. LO! P. A. N. L. O. Panlo!

Gaius: Like the bread?!

Panlo: Exactly!

Gaius: Can I call you “Bread Boy” instead?

Panlo: No.

Gaius: Pretty please?🥺

Panlo: No!

Gaius: Oh, c’mon, Pablo! Bread Boy is the perfect stage name.

Panlo: If you want me to die from embarrassment!

Gaius: But think about that sweet sweet money, Bread Boy.

Panlo: I do love money.

Gaius: And fame!

Panlo: Fine! But make sure I get more than half of the shares.

Gaius: No problem, Pablo-

Panlo: It’s Panlo.

Gaius: Whatever you say, Panini.

Androcles: Hi! My name is Andie. I’m a Kleptomaniac and I like to steal stuff.

Sheaf: You like to what?!

Androcles: Sh*t! That came out wrong. Can I try again?

Sheaf: Umm. . . Sure?

Androcles: Ok. Deep breath. Don’t be weird. She’s just a girl.

Sheaf: I’m ready when you are?

Androcles: *exhales* Hi! My name is Andie and I’m a proud delinquent- Sh*t! That came out wrong again!

Sheaf: It’s ok. Take all the time that you need. I’m just here to help.

Androcles: Ok. Let’s try again. Hi! My name is Andie and I stole the President’s dog once.😀

Sheaf: You stole a dog?! You monster!

Androcles: Ughhh! Why am I failing so bad?! What is wrong with me?!

Sheaf: Maybe you’re just nervous because I’m pretty?

Androcles: Nah, bro. Felix, Coryo, and Clemmie are prettier.

Sheaf: Well, it was worth a try. So take four?

Androcles: Yeah. I think I’m ready.

Sheaf: Ok. Go!

Androcles: Hi, Tribute! My name is Andie and my mom blackmails people for a living- Nevermind. I give up.

Sheaf: How about you let me introduce myself first?

Androcles: I’m cool with that.

Sheaf: Alright. Here we go. Hello, Andie! My name is Sheaf and I like to dance for money- Sh*t! That came out wrong.

Androcles: Yep. I think we’re doomed.

Domitia: Hello, Tanner. How’s the-

Tanner: You know my name?

Domitia: A little birdie told me.

Tanner: Brandy was right! I shouldn’t have trusted Lucy Gray!

Domitia: Lucy Gray didn’t snitch on you. Brandy did.

Tanner: What?! Why?!

Domitia: I gave her a big slice of my family’s premium ham.

Tanner: That little snitch! When I get my hands on that neck-

Domitia: Tanner, do you like cows?

Tanner: Yeah. I slaughter them from time to time. Why? You like cows?

Domitia: I’m a Whimsiwick! My whole family loves cows!

Tanner: A Whimsiwick?! You’re that famous but crazy Dairy Heiress?!

Domitia: Yup! That’s me!

Tanner: My whole District practically works for you! I work for you!

Domitia: That’s true!

Tanner: That’s great! You’re rich!

Domitia: Do you want to see my exclusive dairy cow collection?😀

Tanner: Are you single?

Arachne: I can’t believe that I have to introduce myself-

Brandy: Where’s my sandwich, little girl.

Arachne: You rude little sh*t! I’m still talking-

Brandy: Are you gonna cry home to mommy?

Arachne: Shut up, farmer!

Brandy: Oh, don’t be such a whiny loser, circus freak.

Arachne: How dare you call me that! You’re the loser, you District scum!

Brandy: Is that all you’ve got, you certified Capitol b*tch!

Arachne: Oh, you just crossed the line, you dirty animal!

Brandy: You pampered little banshee!

Arachne: You impoverish ugly creature from the sewers!

Brandy: You-

Casca: Oi! That’s enough insults for today. You’re embarrassing yourselves in front of Panem.

Arachne: She started it!

Brandy: Yes, I did.

Casca: And both of you may continue tomorrow.

Arachne: Fine!

Brandy: Whatever.🙄

Casca: Also, Brandy won this round.

Arachne: Dammit!

[shadyteacup]

why is my hair sexiest when its red

😩😩😩💋💋

The real question is:

Why are you so effortlessly sexy

[autumnbrambleagain]

if you insist on playing country music so loud i can hear it anywhere on my own yard can you make it like

at least actual music

country music today is apparently just a guy in a twangy voice saying signifiers with no context over a flat guitar backing

that was seriously two songs in a row whose lyrics were literally just

"A little bit of guitar, a little bit of truck A little bit of hound dog and a little bit of luck A little bit of bacon, a little bit of beans"

and

"From her cowboy boots to her down home roots She's country From the song she plays to the prayer she prays That's the way she was born and raised She ain't afraid to stay Country"

these aren't lyrics, these aren't song lyrics, these are just surface level signifiers being read out in a list holy shit

it's like if prog-rock had lyrics that were just

"Frodo and hobbits, elves and spaceships psychedelic drugs and alien dolphins Roger Dean's art and a kaleidoscope an elephant with really long legs and maybe we're riding a hot air balloon that talks"

it's like if death metal had lyrics that were just

"Death, killing, blood, darkness Scary things, angry things, growling, growling Blood and also dead bodies and people dying when you die you turn into a dead body and lose all your blood violently"

okay nevermind those are incredible lyrics for a death metal song what's that awful AI website that turns lyrics into songs i need to go load those in and see what it does with them

[bonniehooper]

COMMUNITY REWATCH, 1x14: “Interpretive Dance”

-I love the transition of Troy acting super masculine with the rap music playing in the background and then the minute he goes into the dance class it completely changes.

-They have a watch list for hot people among the students and faculty. What the hell, Dean?

-Troy, why are you threatening them? Like damn.

-Troy: "And I fell in love with it in a very straight way." Just because you like to dance doesn't mean anything Troy. Please, calm down.

-Troy: "I know it's tempting to sneak a peek but I'm going to need you to keep your eyes up here."

-Troy: "I am spending a lot of money on breakaway clothing." Why don't you just keep reusing the same clothes? Why are you buying new ones?

-Troy, not telling everyone about your dance class when Britta did was kind of shitty of you.

-Of course, Pierce is the one to spill the beans about Jeff and Professor Slaters relationship.

-Britta: "I'm so disappointed in you." Troy: "Hey you don't get to talk to me like that. You are not Shirley and Shirley is not my mom."

-Troy: "Girls are supposed to dance, that's why God made them parts that jiggle."

-Pierce, will you please shut up?!

-Pierce: "Culturally it's unacceptable, but theatrically it's dynamic." Pierce, WTF?!

-Random Abed dance number to end the episode.....sure.

[theyellowhue]

Between Us Ep. 1 random thoughts

Why is Phawin being such an ass?

Team is my new son. My littol smol bean, i must protect

The Alphabet gang are feral outside children while growing up, i just know it.

Pharm and Dean, idk them but they both look good and amazing on screen

I feel really bad for not watching UWMA before binging this.

My sweet smol bean is such a sweetie. Team can do no wrong and he deserves all the head pats from now on

Just because Phawin is hot doesnt mean he can be an ass towards Team 😭

Like the boy is injured Phawin, idk if suppressing your horney demon thoughts towards Team is the reason why youre being such an ass, please stop it the litol bean looks like he's about to cry

I might just be projecting but Team is just so sweet 🥺

Win, you absolute legend. Thank goodness that it wasnt a red plastic cup because i would have envisioned you in an American college fratboy party and that would have damaged my brain

Also, what do you mean that you never really owned something for yourself. YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRY

i dont think that jumping on Team that instant is the way to go Phawin, but it looks like its gonna work out for you so go ahead, my boy

Also i think there must have been time and exposition between the start of registration and the swim camp because i dont think Phawin is dumb enough to jump on Team while he is a stranger???

[honeyedlashton]

I was tagged by Mille (@brave-tomlinson) 🩵🤍💛 thank you bestie!! I hope this helps you get to know me 🥰🩷

Rule: tag 10 people you wanna know better (I think I might have done this before but it’s been long enough I don’t remember what I nor anyone else said so let’s go.

Relationship status: single babyyy

Favorite color: right now I like the color of the new leaves on the trees. Spring green? Idk but whatever it is I like it

Song stuck in my head right now: Slither by Velvet Revolver (cause I’m imagining a very specific edit of Dean Winchester you’d just have to be in my mind to understand)

Three favorite foods: rn it’s a crunch wrap supreme filled with black beans instead of meat and hot sauce, a chalupa with black beans, and nacho fries for the love of god give me Taco Bell…

Last thing I looked up on Google: “word that means worthless and stupid combined” (with little success)

Dream trip: I’ve always wanted to visit Singapore because every picture I see is like mind-blowingly cool and beautiful. Like I know I’d have fun in that airport for sure

I’m tagging anyone who wants to do it really, no pressure obvs. @lovelikealandslide @wannabemichaelsmaster @retromalum @hideitaway @vasattope @yellowjellobean @sofsversion @adorelashton @yes-kassiopeia @arishemmo 🩷🤍💛

[adamburt1984]

My Favourite American Things 🇺🇸

Superheroes/Comic Books Characters

(Like the Shield)

Spyro the dragons, Sparx the Dragonfly, and characters I like from Spyro the dragon games and Spyro the Dragons series (They’re invited/made in US)

Dr Pepper

Liberty Bell

Cloud Gate/Bean

Gateway Arch

Mothman Statue

Hot Dogs

KFC

Little Red Lighthouse (New York)

Empire State Building and Chrysler Building

Brookyln Bridge

One World Trade Center

Seattle Tower/Space Needle

Golden Gate Bridge

Peace Pagoda

Dragon Gate and Guardian Lion statues

Willis Tower

Delicate Arch

Mounment Valley

The Capitol Building

The Alamo

American Pizza

Burgers and fries

Wendys (lady/mascot)

Netflix

Star Wars (and characters and veichles I like)

Hot Wheels 

Sox (Disney/Pixar Lightyear)

Chatters Telephones

Alcatraz Island

Transamerica Pyramid

Conan O'Brien

Dean Cain

Donald Trump

Ronald Reagan

Abraham Lincoln

Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Slinky dog and Green Army Soldiers and RC car

[thinandbonesssss]

My favorite low cal foods *updated*

kraft microwaveable mac & cheese cup 220 cal/cup

bibigo mini chicken & veggie wontons 230 cal/13 pieces

alexia tater tots 150 cal/14 pieces

4 cheese hot pocket 280 cal/pocket

amy’s black bean & cheese burrito 340 cal/burrito

jimmy dean turkey sausage breakfast sandwich 270 cal/sandwich

uncrustables 210 cal/each

chick fil a nugget 250 cal/8 pieces

wendy’s spicy nugget 280 cal/6 pieces

store brand frozen spicy popcorn chicken 160 cal/3 oz.

magnum mini dark choc truffle ice cream bar 150 cal/bar

talenti straberry sorbet bars 50 cal/bar

talenti chocolate gelato bar 80 cal/bar

drizzilicious rice puffs (smores) 90 cal/21 puffs

madegood strawberry rice crispy 80 cal/each

bombay potatoes 270/pouch

i’m going to keep adding to this list over time so i can refer back to it and stop getting overwhelmed when i need to figure out what to eat for dinner. if you happen to come across this post & have any lowcal suggestions pls pls pls send them my way ♡

[howtocreateblogs]

I posted this article to my blog today.