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illdowhatiwantthanks · 10 months ago

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The Avocado & The Turnip (The Surprise, Part 8)

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: established relationship, pregnancy times, fluffy fluff, kind of hurt/comfort (?), mentions of some pretty horrific crimes (duh), gunshot wound, some explicit language Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: A series of hard cases puts a strain on your relationship with Emily. Anxieties run high on both sides, and the reality of Emily's job–and the risks the come with it–feel even more real than usual now that there's going to be a child in the picture.

Week 16: The Avocado

“I just don’t know what to say to him,” Emily exclaimed, resting her chin on your stomach, a worried look on her face.

Your plans for an adorable evening of talking to the baby had backfired. For unknown reasons, Emily had come home in a bad mood, anxious and on edge. Somehow, the news that the baby could likely hear you now had only made her more anxious.

“You can say anything, Em. She’s the size of an avocado. She’s not gonna remember what we say; she’s gonna remember our voices.”

You ran your fingers through Emily’s hair, trying your best to alleviate some of her stress. You’d meant for this to be good news, to be a fun, cute little moment she could have with you and the baby after a brutal day at work.

“Tell her about your day,” you suggested.

Emily glared at you, and you felt yourself shrink. “I can’t tell him about my day!” she yelled, her voice angry. “What am I supposed to say? Hey, little man! I have to leave you tomorrow to go find a guy who’s murdering teenage boys by ripping their throats out with his teeth and then eating them. But don’t worry, I’ve only had to deal with, oh, ten or so cannibals over the years. The chances of you being cannibalized are slim. Never zero though!”

In your head, you knew that Emily’s outburst had nothing to do with you, nothing to do with the baby, and everything to do with the horrendous things she saw at work. She tried very hard not to bring work home with her, not to carry the weight of the horrors she saw every day into your house. But sometimes they stuck to her. Sometimes they dragged her down, and she couldn’t quite shake them. But it wasn’t often that she was mean. She hardly ever raised her voice at you. She knew it scared you.

You sat up and placed a hand protectively over your stomach, trying to keep your face set, impassive, but flinching a little as Emily moved toward you.

She was instantly full of regret. Her face fell as she noticed that your posture had changed from open to defensive, noticed the way your eyes had glazed over–a remnant of trauma.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” she breathed, cupping your cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

You softened when you saw that she was close to crying–a rarity for Emily–and pulled her head to your chest, pressing kisses to the top of her head.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she mumbled against you. “It was just a hard day.”

“Tell me about it.”

“What?” she asked, lifting her head a bit.

“Tell me,” you insisted. “I can handle it. You’re my wife. You had a bad day. I want to hear about it.”

Emily shook her head, her voice so quiet you almost couldn’t hear. “No, you don’t.”

“Hey,” you said, tilting her chin so she was looking in your eyes. “I can decide what’s too much for me, okay?” You rubbed your thumb back and forth along her cheek. “If I say I can handle it, I need you to believe me.”

Emily sighed, exhaling shakily. “You remember after we started dating?” she explained, her voice low. “And I had a really hard time at work because every victim who was a woman made me think of you?”

“I remember,” you answered. And you did. If there had ever been a time in your relationship when you would’ve broken up with Emily, that would have been it. She’d been angry, on edge, paranoid, and even more obsessive about work than usual. It had eventually gotten so bad that you’d given her an ultimatum–start going to therapy or this isn’t going to work. Nearly six years later, Emily still had a biweekly standing appointment with her therapist–unless, of course, she was in the field.

She played with your fingers, quiet for a moment. “It feels like that all over again, but with kids. Child victims are hard anyway, but… every tiny body I see, I just think of him and–” Her voice broke, and you held her a little tighter. “It scares the shit out of me.”

“Of course it does,” you assured her. “That just means you love her, baby. It means you’re gonna be a great mom. It makes sense that those cases hit closer to home right now.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to take it out on you. Or him.”

You exhaled slowly, kissing the top of her head again. “When was your last appointment with Angie?”

Emily sat up, stretching, and shrugged, looking guilty. “Last month, maybe? I just–I’ve been out on cases and…”

“I know, baby,” you said, taking her hands in yours before she could start biting her nails. “It’s okay. But, maybe you should call her and see if she can get you in. Even tonight, you know? Before you leave tomorrow. She does telehealth, doesn’t she?”

Emily nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

She still looked guilty and nervous. It broke your heart.

“Come here,” you said, tugging her onto your lap. She wrapped her arms and legs around you and hugged you like you were the only thing keeping her tethered to this world. And for your part–you held on like you’d never, ever let her go–and you never, ever would.

Week 17: The Turnip

“She what!?” you yelled into the phone, launching yourself off the couch and scrounging around in the junk drawer for your keys.

“Calm down, mama,” Derek soothed through the phone. “It’s just a surface wound. The bullet grazed her shoulder, that’s all.”

“That’s all!? My wife gets shot, and you’re telling me that’s all!?”

You heard a scuffle on the other end of the phone, a distant, sharp Give me the phone! and then there was Emily’s voice, flooding you with relief.

“Honey, I’m fine, I promise,” she said, and she certainly didn’t sound like she was dying.

“You got shot!”

“Just a little bit…” Her voice was sheepish.

You threw up your hands in frustration. “Emily Elizabeth Prentiss! You have a child coming. You can’t be getting shot!”

“I know, I know.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “What hospital are you at?”

“No, baby, you don’t need to come,” she protested.

“Don’t need to come, my ass,” you grumbled. “Where are you?”

Another scuffle and Derek had the phone back. “Y/N. Hey. We’re just in Baltimore, alright? She’ll probably be discharged here in a few minutes, and I’ll bring her home.”

You were still a little suspicious. “Straight home?”

“You have my word.”

It was the longest hour and a half of your life, sitting on the couch, watching the Find My dot of Emily inch its way home. You frowned when you saw her stop at El Rinconcito. That little shit. She was trying to buy you off with pupusas. Well, it wasn’t going to work. Your stomach rumbled. Well, it might work a little bit.

A half hour later, you heard the door unlock. Derek held it open for a very guilty looking Emily, who walked through the threshold with her arm bandaged and wrapped in a sling.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, your hands fluttering all over her, gingerly touching the bandage and turning her face this way and that to check for more damage.

“I’m fine, honey,” she said, pressing her good hand to your face and kissing you.

“Mmhm,” you mumbled, unconvinced. “Tell that to your unborn child.”

Emily crouched down and pressed a kiss to your stomach. “Mommy’s just fine, little guy, don’t you worry.”

It was so cute, you couldn’t even be that mad.

“Alright, lovebirds,” Derek said, gesturing to the couch. “Get comfortable and let Uncle Derek take care of you.”

You grimaced, thinking of straight people things. “Eew.”

He rolled his eyes at you. “Not like that. Sit down and eat your pupusas, woman.”

You and Emily giggled, plopping yourselves on the couch, one on either side.

Derek threw blankets at you, and you got yourselves situated, your legs tangled in the middle. Derek plated the takeout and brought it to you.

“I could get used to this,” Emily said, taking a bite and running her foot up and down your leg.

“You better fucking not,” you mumbled through a bite of pupusa. “I don’t want you getting shot every time you want a lazy day.”

Derek brought you both glasses of water and set a bottle of pain meds on the side table next to Emily.

“Anything else I can do for you, ladies?” he asked. “Foot rub? Serenade? Grocery run?”

You smiled at him. He was so good to you. Both of you. “You’re gonna make some straight woman very happy.”

He bent down to ruffle your hair and to squeeze Emily’s good hand. “I’ll settle for my favorite lesbians for now. You need anything else before I go?”

Emily shook her head. “No, I think we’ll be okay. Thanks, Morgan.”

“Anytime, Prentiss,” he replied, giving her a small salute as he walked out the door. "Call me if you need anything."

The moment he left, you shot a glare at Emily.

“What?” she said, trying and failing to shrug, thanks to her injured shoulder.

You couldn’t help the worried expression that took over your face.

“Please tell me you’re careful,” you pleaded, brushing a few unexpected tears from under your eyes.

“Y/N.” She sat up, alarmed, and reached for your hand. “I’m careful. I swear.”

“I just… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“And you’ll never have to find out,” she reassured, rubbing her thumb across the back of your hand.

“We need you, Em,” you whispered, placing your other hand over your baby bump.

She winced a little as she moved forward, pulling your face toward her so she could stroke your cheek. “I’m never reckless, honey. I do everything I can to stay safe. I promise. I will always come home to you.”

You were quiet as she pressed her forehead to yours, breathing in the smell of her, the warmth. You both knew it was a promise she couldn't make, not with her job. But you needed Emily to understand that it wasn't just her she was staying safe for anymore. It was you and the little one, who deserved to grow up with both of her moms.

“Sometimes it scares me how much I love you,” you said, so quiet she almost didn’t hear.

Emily kissed your forehead, then pressed her lips to yours, soft and gentle. “Me too.”

She pecked you on the lips again, then brushed her thumb over your bottom lip. “But you don’t need to be scared today, okay?”

She smiled a little, and you nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Now, eat your pupusas,” she grinned, pinching your cheek.

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x fem!reader #emily prentiss fanfic #emily prentiss fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic

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worldofstoriesanddreams · 23 days ago

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The Timeless Appeal of YA Fiction: Why We Never Outgrow It.

Ever picked up a YA book “just for nostalgia” and found yourself completely hooked—like, staying-up-past-midnight kind of hooked? Yeah, me too. There’s something magical about YA fiction that pulls readers in, no matter their age. It’s more than just teenage drama and coming-of-age stories—it’s about adventure, identity, and emotions so raw they practically jump off the page.

But what is it about YA books that make them so impossible to outgrow? Let’s talk about it.

1. YA Fiction is About Growth—And We Never Stop Growing

YA novels are built around self-discovery, identity, and transformation—things that don’t just stop when we hit adulthood. Whether it’s figuring out who we are, making life-altering decisions, or dealing with relationships, those themes hit home no matter how old we are.

Think about Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games or Harry Potter facing his destiny—these stories aren’t just about being young. They’re about courage, choices, and standing up for what’s right. Even in my novel The Quest for Immortality, the characters grapple with the fear of change and the pursuit of something bigger than themselves—something that resonates with all of us.

2. The Emotions Are Real and Raw

YA books don’t sugarcoat emotions. They capture first loves, heartbreaks, friendships that feel like lifelines, and losses that shake you to the core. The stakes always feel high because, when you’re young, every moment feels like the most important one of your life.

Honestly, sometimes adult fiction gets too caught up in being “literary” and forgets to make us feel something. But YA? It throws you right into the deep end. If you’ve ever told yourself, “Just one more chapter,” and suddenly it’s 3 a.m., you know exactly what I mean.

3. YA Books Are Addictive (In the Best Way)

You know how some adult books take forever to get going? YA fiction doesn’t play that game. It grabs you from page one and doesn’t let go.

That’s something I aimed for in The Quest for Immortality—fast-paced storytelling that keeps you flipping pages, mixed with mystery, adventure, and deep emotional stakes. Readers want excitement, and YA delivers.

4. Nostalgia Hits Hard

For adult readers, YA is like a time machine. It brings back the intensity of youth—the thrill of possibility, the way friendships could mean everything, the sheer excitement of not knowing what’s next.

It’s not just about reliving our younger years—it’s about remembering the emotions that made them unforgettable. And let’s be real, sometimes it’s just fun to escape into a world where you don’t have to worry about taxes.

5. YA Fiction is Always Evolving

One of the coolest things about YA is that it never gets stale. It’s constantly pushing boundaries, exploring new voices, and tackling real-world issues—mental health, identity, diversity—while still delivering page-turning adventures.

Whether it’s fantasy, sci-fi, contemporary, or dystopian, YA always brings fresh perspectives. It grows with its readers, which means there’s always something new to discover.

So, Are You Ever Too Old for YA?

Absolutely not. The idea that YA books are only for teenagers is so outdated. The best stories transcend age, and YA fiction has a way of pulling us in—whether we’re 16 or 60.

So next time someone asks why you’re still reading YA, just smile and hand them your favorite book. Who knows? They might rediscover the magic for themselves.

What’s a YA book that’s stayed with you over the years? Let’s chat in the comments!

#ya fiction #young adult #fiction #books

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sebstanaddict · 2 years ago

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Love Song

Sebastian Stan x Reader Story

Chapter 16 - When Love and Hate Collide

Summary : A romantic comedy story between Sebastian Stan and female reader where we witness their journey after they said I do.

The secrets they have been trying so hard to cover up finally blew up in their faces. How will they deal with it? Will their love triumph or will they succumb to their distrust with each other and break their love?

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters : 16/21 (might add more)

Chapter List>

Warning : angst, verbal fights, infidelity mentions

Word count : 6.5k

This is a sequel to my first Sebastian fic Always You. If you want to understand more about Sebastian's and reader's relationship, please read it first. But it's not necessary to understand this story. Check it out here.

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I don't wanna fight no more

I don't know what we're fighting for

When we treat each other, baby

Like an act of war

I could tell a million lies

And it would come as no surprise

When the truth is like a stranger

Hits you right between the eyes

There's a time and a place and a reason

And I know I got a love to believe in

All I know

Got to win this time

Without you, one night alone

Is like a year without you, baby

Do you have a heart of stone?

Without you

Can't stop the hurt inside

When love and hate collide

When Love and Hate Collide - Def Leppard

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Gym and Fitness Center, Shangri-La Hotel, Paris, May 22nd 2023 - 11 pm

Bam.. bam.. bam..

The sound of boxing gloves making contact with a hanging punching bag in the deserted gym echoed around the room. No matter how many times and how long Sebastian had punched the bag, the anger in his heart still wouldn't go away.

How could she? He thought she was always honest with him. He never thought she was capable of lying to him and for so long too.

Zac! Why was he always in the picture? Standing between him and her even after he married her!

Bam!

His fist hit the punching bag hard, sending it flying across the room and it went flying back at him, making him jumped back to avoid it. He caught the punching bag with both hands and steadied it. He rested his forehead on the bag as he took several deep breaths.

His mind wandered back to what happened earlier at the hotel suite. He remembered the crushing feeling in his chest as he saw the footage of her at Zac's concert, and the pictures of her with Zac in front of the hotel in Amsterdam. Betrayed, he never felt so betrayed in his life.

Then something worse happened. Somehow a picture of him and Stephanie and the hooker in Cannes got out. The feeling of guilt crept to his heart, mixed with the hurt and the realization that something was very wrong in their marriage.

He didn't know how long they stared at each other in disbelief after the entertainment channel finished broadcasting their story. He could see tears fell from her eyes and for the first time in his life he didn't want to wipe it away. Hurt, his heart hurt and he was glad she was feeling it too.

He watched as she stood up and put her clothes on. He sighed and put his clothes on too. Then they stood across from each other. Speechless.. wordless.. as their eyes tried to communicate how disappointed they were with each other.

Finally she said the first words.

"Who was she? The brunette?" She asked, her voice trembled as she looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed and bottom lip quivered.

"No one. Just a stupid hooker that tried to seduce me. I swear I didn't do anything with her! I left as soon as she put her hand on my thigh." He explained.

She stared at him, her eyes still showed doubt.

"Y/n.. I would never cheat on you. You know that. You're the love of my life.." He said and his heart bled as he said it to her. He felt like she might not feel the same way. What.. with her going behind his back and meeting Zac while he was away.

Tears fell from her eyes as she heard him.

"But maybe you would.. huh?" He said coldly.

"What?! No! Seb, nothing happened between me and Zac! I swear!" She pleaded as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"It didn't look like nothing happened. How could you, Y/n?! Going behind my back and seeing him like that?!" He yelled as he started to pace the room.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, Seb for not letting you know about it. You were so jealous of Zac that I thought it would just hurt you if I tell you." She said.

"D**n right it hurt me, Y/n! I mean.. why? What did I do to deserve this?" He asked as he stopped pacing and stared at her from across the room.

"Well maybe if you weren't so busy with your f*****g job and paid more attention to me I wouldn't have gone out and see Zac!" She yelled.

"What?!" He stared at her in disbelief. All this time he thought she understood him and his love of his work. But she was just like any other woman wasn't she? Thirsty for attention.

"We're on our honeymoon and all you do is work!" She protested.

"Y/n.. you know d**n well that's not true!" He argued.

"It is! All I wanted was just for you to focus on me and Starlene for two weeks but what did you do?! You went across the country from us, leaving me and a sick baby alone!" She yelled.

"I thought you were okay with it, Y/n! And besides, me leaving you doesn't give you permission to go and see your godd**n ex! Oh... wait.. now I know why you were so understanding of me leaving. You had him to entertain you while I was away, didn't you?! In fact, you probably couldn't wait for me to be gone so you could run to him, huh?" He sneered.

"Seb! That's not true! I didn't meet him on purpose!" She argued, disbelief colored her voice.

"Oh.. you didn't? It just so happened that you went to a concert he was playing at without knowing that he was going to play there? Is that it?" He snickered.

"Seb.. I.. " she sighed as she looked at him and walked closer to him.

"He invited me to come see him at the concert. I was having fun having some me time but I haven't seen a concert in a while and I thought why not, you know? I should have told you that I went.. but I know how much you're so jealous of Zac. So I decided not to tell you. I'm sorry." She said, looking up at him with guilt in her eyes.

"Did you see him again after the concert?" He asked slowly.

"I did.. but it was accidental. I was having lunch with Starlene and Zac just happened to be there. I swear I didn't meet up with him on purpose." She said, her eyes pleading.

"What's with the kiss?" He asked, his heart bled again as he remembered seeing the picture of Zac seemingly kissing her cheek.

"Seb.. it was just a good bye peck on the cheek. Nothing more." She explained. For a split second he could see conflict in her eyes but then she looked down and walked away from him. She sat on the sofa, closed her eyes and put her fingers on the bridge of her nose, pinching it.

Her explanation made sense. But it still didn't ease the hurt in his heart. The fact that she even thought of Zac to have some fun during their honeymoon hurt him. Apparently he was still doing a bad job as a husband.

"Your turn now." She said after a while.

"What?" He blinked, not understanding what she meant as his mind was still reeling with the information she just gave him.

"Stephanie.. what were you doing with her?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed, anger in her eyes.

"Oh.." He completely forgot about Stephanie, so focused was he in her betrayal that he forgot he had some explanation to do himself.

He walked closer to her and sat on the sofa across from her then took a deep breath.

"I met her accidentally in Cannes. She was there with a director as his.. umm.. escort." He said slowly.

Her eyes widened as she listened to him.

"Stephanie is an escort?" She asked.

"Yeah.. and a stripper." He continued.

"What?!" Her jaw dropped.

"Umm.. yeah." He said.

He finally told her how he had met her accidentally too at his Bachelor's party and then told her all about Stephanie's unfortunate condition. But he of course omitted the fact that Stephanie kissed him in her apartment. She didn't need to know, it would just hurt her and it was irrelevant anyway. The most important thing was that he did not cheat on her with Stephanie. He thought as he tried to convince himself.

He continued to tell her what happened after the initial meeting with Stephanie at that bar in Cannes and how she showed up at his hotel room, bruised and battered.

"I.. I couldn't stay in the room with her too long. She was being nostalgic and talking about our past. I didn't want anything to happen between us. So I left my room and went out to have some drinks and that's when I met the hooker. I got away from the hooker only to get robbed and beaten up." He chuckled dryly.

"You could have sent her away, Seb." She said.

"But she didn't have anywhere else to go, Y/n. She needed a place to stay. I couldn't just.. not help her.. you know." He argued.

"That's your problem. Always wanting to please and help other people, but at your own expense." She said and for a second he could see her eyes softened as she looked at him but then it showed disappointment.

"Why didn't you tell me this before, Seb?" She asked.

"I'm sorry Y/n.. I guess I didn't want to hurt you." He sighed.

"Well, you hurt me by not trusting me with this information. Were you planning on not telling me at all?" She asked, her voice raised a little.

"Well.. look who's talking. I could ask the same thing to you." He said and the moment he said it he regretted it.

She stared at him with a mixture of guilt and anger in her eyes. He was making things worse. He knew it. But he couldn't help himself. Her seeing Zac behind his back still hurt him, and it was different. She purposely met Zac the first time around. While he never sought out to meet Stephanie on purpose.

"I'm sorry, Seb. I guess I didn't want to hurt you either." She said slowly as she looked down at her lap and tears started to fall down from her eyes.

He thought he would want to wipe those tears away from her cheek. But no, he still couldn't bring himself to do it. She was suffering and he was glad if she suffered as much as he suffered.

In the twenty two years that he knew her he couldn't believe he would ever feel this way about her. Hate. He thought he would only feel love for her. But now love and hate collided in his heart, leaving him bleeding, bruised and battered inside as both feelings fought for dominance in his heart. Unfortunately for now hate seemed to have won. He couldn't look at her without feeling the hate so he stood up and left as he looked for something to help erase the hate in his heart.

She didn't stop him. She didn't even ask where he was going. She just let him go and that hurt him even more.

He felt tears rolling down his cheek as he thought of that fact. She didn't care, did she? In fact she probably was on the phone with Zac laughing about how stupid he was.

Bam!

He hit the punching bag again as the negative thought invaded his mind. He knew it was just a stupid thought. She couldn't be that heartless.

Several minutes gone by and slowly he felt his anger dissipated. Now that he thought about it, he was also guilty for not letting her know about Stephanie. He didn't want to hurt her so he didn't tell her. Hence, he could definitely understand why she didn't tell him about Zac. But he still couldn't understand and couldn't accept that she needed to go to Zac's concert in the first place to have some fun. Of all the activities she could have done, why did she choose something relating to Zac? Does she still love Zac? He couldn't help but wonder and with that thought in mind he felt his heart bleed again.

Bam.. bam.. bam..

He continued to punch the punching bag, imagining Zac's face on it as he tried to let off some steam and stop the bleeding in his heart.

---

La Suite Shangri-La, Shangri-La Hotel, Paris, May 22nd 2023 - 10 pm

She looked up and saw him stood up and walked away from her. Her heart ached tremendously as she watched his retreating back slipped out of the suite and into the dark hallway outside. He didn't say a single word and just left, breaking her heart even more. She remembered seeing the hate in his eyes and that broke her.

She didn't know what else to do and thought it would be best for them to stay away from each other for a while. Despite feeling all the guilt and heartbreak in her heart, she was also angry at him for not telling her about Stephanie. She couldn't believe that while she was so busy trying to keep a secret from him for the past couple of days that he had done the same thing to her! And even longer than she had! He first met her at his Bachelor's party for God's sake! Why didn't he let her know about it before they were married? Was he hiding something from her? She couldn't help but ponder.

She sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes. She stood up and went into the bedroom. She glanced at Starlene's crib and was for a moment feeling a little peace as she looked at her daughter's peaceful sleeping face. She then went to the bed and laid herself down, looking up at the ceiling and wondering where he went and whether she should look for him.

No, just stay away from him for now. It would be best for you to get some space away from each other. Let him think and you should think yourself about all this. She could hear herself talk in her mind.

This was it, she thought as she picked up the heart shaped pendant he gave her from the necklace on her neck and twirled it around in her fingers. This was something she had dreaded since the day he confessed his love to her. She wasn't sure she could keep up with his life style. She wasn't sure she could deal with being away from him so long and not fretting about whether he would cheat with his co-stars during shooting. She thought she was doing well in not letting those thoughts bother her because he seemed to be so in love with her that she believed he would always be honest with her. But the fact that he didn't tell her the truth about what happened in Cannes and at his Bachelor's party confirmed to her that he could easily lie to her if he wanted. Which meant he could easily cheat on her if he wanted to.

Tears welled up in her eyes again as the realization hit her. She wondered if anything happened between him and Stephanie. She couldn't help but feel a nagging feeling in her chest that he wasn't being entirely honest with her. Well, she wasn't either. She still kept the information that Zac kissed her from him because.. well, he was already so angry at her now. She couldn't imagine how angry he would be knowing Zac kissed her. If something happened between him and Stephanie and he didn't let her know about it, she could somehow understand it. He most likely didn't want to hurt her either, just like she didn't want to hurt him. Which was f****d up really. That was not how a couple should be with each other in a marriage. They should be able to tell to each other about everything. She thought in frustration.

She realized she needed to completely come clean to him about Zac having kissed her, then maybe he would come clean to her too if and that's if anything happened at all between him and Stephanie. There was also the possibility that nothing really happened between them, just like he said and she would be fretting over nothing.

She sighed. Well, as much as she wanted to talk to him again, he wasn't there now. And she wasn't in the mood to go look for him. She was still angry at him and he obviously was too at her. It was for the best that they stayed away from each other for a while and blow off some steam before they talk to each other again. She finally concluded.

She dropped the heart shaped pendant from her fingers and decided to check out her cellphone. She wondered if the story of their scandal had reached Emma.

She found her cellphone in her handbag and as soon as she checked it her heart plummeted into her stomach. Emma had apparently called her multiple times and left her a message. She opened the message and sighed as she read it.

"Hi Y/n. I'm sorry to bring you bad news but things have escalated. There are apparently pictures of Seb at Cannes with two different women. You should probably open your Instagram. They're all over Instagram and other social media. We couldn't contain this one. And well, could you ask Seb about them and get back to me ASAP. We need clarification immediately. Thanks." - Emma.

With a heavy heart she opened Instagram and the first picture on her feed that popped up was a collection of images of Sebastian with the brunette woman and Stephanie. A Sebastian fan account had posted them. She checked the comments and her chest tightened as she read them. His fans were mostly confused about the pictures but a lot of them were defending him and blaming her for making him behave like that. They were all making theories about what happened between them and it hurt reading them.

"They were married for barely two weeks and she was already seeing her ex. No wonder he ended up with other women in Cannes."

"I thought they were so in love with each other. What hope do we have now if a couple like them are cheating with each other. Hollywood really is fake through and through."

"Sebastian better leave her. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this. He shouldn't be forced to go and hire a hooker to have some good time. Where was she when he needed her? Oh right, with her ex!"

The comments were like shots of bullets directed at her heart, leaving her bleeding and hurt beyond belief.

She closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure and after a while she took a deep breath, opened her eyes and continued to scroll down her feed.

Suddenly a reel of what seemed to be a gossip podcast caught her attention. There was a big caption on the reel.

"Sebastian Stan's marriage is crumbling"

Her heart seemed to stop as she looked at the caption. She stopped scrolling and continued to watch the reel.

The podcast hosts talked about them and showed the damaging pictures from both of their sides. Then they continued to talk and gave opinions and theories about what was actually going on between them. Of course they assumed both of them were cheating on each other and that made her so angry. She was so frustrated at how people could come to a wrong conclusion based on just a second of an event.

She then read the comments and it hurt her to see that most of the comments agreed they were cheating on each other. Well, they weren't, the most important thing was that they really weren't. At least she knew she wasn't. But had Seb told her the whole truth yet? She questioned again and couldn't help but feel the nagging feeling in her heart.

She stopped watching the reel and checked her notification. Indeed, as she had expected, many people were talking badly about her. With each comment and message her heart broke into more and more pieces. She couldn't deal with it anymore. So she decided to deactivate her Instagram and uninstall the app from her cellphone. Then she started to type a message to Emma.

"Hi Emma, sorry for not getting back to you earlier. I saw the pictures. We watched an entertainment channel broadcasted them for the world to see earlier today. Seb told me he didn't cheat on me with those women. The blonde one is his ex and she was at that bar in Cannes with a man. They were just talking so he didn't cheat on me with her. The brunette woman was apparently a hooker who tried to seduce him for whatever reason but he denied to get any service from her and left her as soon as she put her hand on his thigh. So yeah, those were just pictures that meant nothing really. The public have jumped to the wrong conclusion." - Y/n

Moments later Emma called her and she reluctantly picked it up.

"Hi Y/n, thank you for getting back to me and I'm so glad that the pictures meant nothing. Could I talk to Seb? I need to ask him about how we can mitigate this and save his image. Because, as you clearly have seen, the public perception are not good for him and for you." Emma said.

She sighed. Well, the public weren't entirely wrong. Things weren't good between them. At least not yet. She thought sadly.

"I'm sorry Emma, Seb is out at the moment. We both kind of need some time alone now. This whole thing had shocked me and him and we need some time to process things." She said.

"Oh okay, of course, take all the time that you need. We'll just clarify this as much as we can and we'll come up with something. Please tell him to contact me as soon as he is ready." Emma said.

"I will. Thanks Emma. Oh, by the way, I decided to deactivate my Instagram. Reading all the messages and comments are just too much for me to deal with at the moment." She said.

"Oh, okay. Honestly Y/n, deactivating your Instagram might seem like you're showing you're guilty at what the public had thought of you. I think it's better that you reactivate it again and we can use it to mitigate this situation. But.. I can't dictate what you should and shouldn't do, I'm just giving some advice here." Emma said.

"Emma, thank you for your advice but I cannot deal with it right now. So for now I'll continue to deactivate it and I don't care what people would think about that. The most important thing is we are not cheating on each other." She said but she could feel in her heart that she didn't entirely buy it. She still needed to talk to Sebastian and clarify everything.

"Okay, Y/n. I'm sorry." Emma said.

"It's okay, Emma." She sighed.

"Okay, talk to you later then, Y/n." Emma said.

"Yeah, later Emma. Thanks." She said and they finally hung up.

She put her cellphone down on the night stand next to the bed and laid back down on the bed.

She hated being in the spotlight. It was one thing to be in the spotlight when she was seen as someone that was positive to Sebastian. But it felt entirely different now that the public perception of her was so negative. She wished she could just crawl into a hole and die. She couldn't deal with the embarrassment, the slander and all the bad comments coming her way.

She felt it again, the uncomfortable feeling like they weren't meant to be. Feelings that she felt right before their wedding, when she realized that all throughout their relationship there had been problem after problem. And now this. The fact that he kept choosing his work over her, even during their honeymoon really bothered her. Then the fact that he could keep something from her for so long and straight up lied to her face about what happened in Cannes bothered her even more. She also couldn't deal with being under the microscope and having people who knew nothing about her pick her apart and saying all these hurtful things about her.

People say love is enough. But apparently love isn't enough to sustain a marriage.

The thought broke her and she finally cried again as she wept over the possibility that their love might not last forever like she originally thought.

---

Sebastian opened the door to his hotel suite and expected to see Y/n still sitting on the sofa where he had left her but she was gone.

It was 1 am when he finally had enough punching the punching bag. His body was full of sweat, his hands and arms hurt but the hurt was nothing compared to the hurt in his heart. Which thankfully had lessened so much after he worked off some steam.

The movements from punching and at times kicking the punching bag helped his mind get into a more tranquil state. The raging emotions he felt replaced by a quietness and stillness, making him able to see and think more clearly.

He had laughed a little at how stupid they were both. They both didn't want to hurt each other and that was the reason they were in this predicament in the first place. If only they had prioritized at being honest at each other instead of guarding each other's feelings, things wouldn't have gotten this far.

Communicate better. He remembered his mother's advice before he finally decided to propose to her. They both should learn to communicate better. And so he came back to her that night, hoping to talk to her again and hopefully mend their relationship.

He realized he was being an ass to her sometimes.. well.. most of the time.. by prioritizing his career over her during this honeymoon. He realized if the roles were reversed that he would probably be as pissed off as she was. He remembered hearing Renate saying to him that she would probably throw a tantrum at him if she was left alone during their honeymoon with a sick baby. Renate's comment made him realize that Y/n was the most patient woman he ever knew. And he was wasting her away by focusing more on his job when he was supposed to focus on her.

He also understood why she needed some me time. It wasn't easy to take care of a baby 24/7. But he still couldn't understand why she had to go to Zac to have some me time. He needed to ask her about it. He needed to know if she still had feelings for Zac. Deep down he knew she didn't. He remembered all those times she stared at him with eyes full of love and he could feel it. Her love for him. So he was sure that she didn't still have feelings for Zac. He just had to confirm it.

He closed the door behind him and walked into the living room. He looked around and didn't see her so he went to the bedroom.

He found her lying on the bed sideways, her back to him. He tiptoed closer to her, thinking that she was already asleep but when he got in front of her he saw her eyes were opened. They were bloodshot and swollen. Her face was slightly red and she looked devastated. Obviously she had been crying hard and he couldn't help but feel his heart broke seeing her like that.

She looked up at him and said "Seb.. you're back."

"Yeah, I am." He said as he sat on the bed next to her.

"Where were you?" She asked.

"The gym. Punching a punching bag. I.. uh.. needed to let off some steam."

"Oh.. okay." She said and she sat up slowly and leaned back on the bed rest.

"Are you.. okay?" He asked gently.

"No. Are you?" She asked, her eyes searched his.

"I'm.. well.. I feel so much better after doing all those punching." He chuckled.

"And imagining my face on it?" She snickered.

"Oh God, no! I would never! I was imagining Zac's face!"

"Oh.. right." She said, realization dawned in her eyes.

"Speaking of Zac. I.. have to ask you Y/n. Do you.. do you still have feelings for him?" He asked, his heart pounded hard in his chest.

Her eyes widened at his question and she immediately shook her head.

"Oh God! No, Seb. He's just a friend."

"Okay, it's just.. I don't get why you decided to visit him at his concert during your me time. You know. I mean.. of all the activities you could have done, why did you choose the one relating to Zac?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

She sighed and took a deep breath.

"I was.. frustrated at how this honeymoon turned out, you know. And I was angry at you for prioritizing your work and angry at Starlene for being sick and making me have to stay in Amsterdam instead of coming with you to Cannes. I was.. I'm sorry to say this.. but.. taking care of Starlene by myself all those times you were away shooting Cap 4 just exhausted me.. you know. Zac kind of.." she paused for a moment and he could feel she was unsure about sharing this part. So he reached out his hand to hers and squeezed it gently, urging her to continue.

"Zac kind of symbolized the times when I was still.. well.. not a mom. And.. I know I was being really stupid but I wanted to feel the freedom I felt before Starlene came along. I haven't seen a concert in such a long time. And I thought it would be good to be there and just show support for an old friend. You know." She finally continued, her eyes looked up at him full of hope that he would understand.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry if I contributed in making this honeymoon a bad experience for you. And I'm sorry that I left you so long for Cap 4. But, I'm sure you know what you were getting into when you got into a relationship with me. You know the long hours of my work and the fact that at times I would have to be away from you for months." He said.

"I know. I'm sorry too. Like I said, I was being stupid." She sighed.

"No you're not, honey. Your feelings are valid." He said as he squeezed her hand again.

"Perhaps I can try to lessen the work I accept in a year. And maybe I can take you whenever I need to go away for a shoot longer than a month. And you know, if you feel you need help in taking care of Starlene we could always hire a nanny." He suggested.

"Yeah.. maybe.." she said and she looked down. Clearly she was still feeling bad.

"Sweetheart.. what's wrong?" He asked.

She didn't answer immediately but picked up her cellphone and showed him the message from Emma.

"Oh. Well, it's late, I'll call her in the morning." He said after reading the message and returning the cellphone to her.

"Don't you want to know what people are saying about us?" She asked.

"No, it will bring nothing good for us. I don't need to know." He shook his head, knowing first hand how people on the internet could be so cruel, judgmental and hateful to another person even though they don't know the whole story.

"They're saying we're cheating on each other." She said, ignoring him completely.

"I bet they are. The pictures can make people think that. But, the most important thing is that we're not. Right?" He asked, his heart pounded hard again in his chest as he waited expectantly for her answer.

"I don't know about you but I wasn't cheating on you." She said. Her statement made him feel relief but at the same time he was surprised by how she worded it.

"What do you mean by 'I don't know about you'?" He asked, his voice raised a little.

"Well.. did something happen between you and Stephanie?" She asked, her eyebrows raised.

His heart caught in his throat as he tried to decide whether he should tell her about the kiss or not. But seeing how she looked so devastated now convinced him that it was a bad idea to tell her about the kiss. It would just make things worse. It could break her and he didn't want that.

"Nothing happened between me and Stephanie, Y/n." He finally answered and looked at her straight in her eyes, hoping she would buy the lie. It hurt to have to lie to her again, but it was for her own good, he thought, trying to convince himself.

"Okay." She said and he could see relief filled her eyes as well.

He squeezed her hand tight then put both hands on the sides of her face.

"Y/n.. sweetheart.. I'm sorry for being such an ass all this time, prioritizing my work over you. I'm sorry I made this honeymoon a living hell for you. And I'm sorry I lied to you about Stephanie and about what happened in Cannes." He said as he gazed at her eyes, pleading for her forgiveness.

"I promise I will prioritize you and Starlene from now on. And I promise I will never lie to you again." He continued as he stroked her cheek gently with his thumb. He expected her to smile at him but she didn't, which bothered him a little.

"I'm sorry too, Iubirea mea for not telling you about Zac." She finally said.

"And I'm sorry for going behind your back and telling Emma that you had consented to a clarification statement that you haven't even seen." She stated in shame.

"You did what, sweetheart?!" He asked in disbelief and dropped his hands from her face.

"Well.." she trailed.

She finally told him how she had lied to Emma about having told him about Zac after the tabloid article came out. And how she lied to Emma that she had shown him the statement even though she hadn't.

"There was a tabloid article?" He asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Yes, it was the reason why I insisted we stayed at the hotel instead of going out. I was so afraid you would see it on a newsstand somewhere. And it was why I couldn't enjoy it when we did the city tour and why.. why I threw up at Nicole. I was so anxious that you would find out." She explained, her face beet red.

"Oh sweetheart.." he said, feeling a little angry at her but also sorry for her.

"You should have told me earlier and avoid all that anxiety."

"Well, seeing how you also kept a secret from me even longer than I have I'm sure you would understand why I didn't tell you earlier." She snickered.

He felt like she had shot him at the heart with her statement. He didn't answer her immediately and just stared at her for a moment, not sure how to respond.

"I guess we still have a lot of work to do huh? In the trust department." He finally responded.

"I guess." She sighed and looked down again.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything." He said, encouraging her to open up to him.

She took a deep breath and finally said. "I'm sorry, Seb. Maybe it's just the negativity in my mind, but the fact that you kept a secret from me and was able to lie to my face about what happened in Cannes made me think that it would be easy for you to cheat on me if you wanted to. And.. I know you said you didn't. But we don't know what will happen in the future. I mean, who knows.. you could be paired up with a young and beautiful actress one day and.. you might fall in love with her and.. since you're a good actor and liar you could just lie to me about it. You have no idea how freaked out I am about that. Wondering and questioning whether you're still loyal to me or not whenever you're away shooting. I.. I don't know if I can deal with that."

He felt his heart constricted again in his chest as he listened to her. He couldn't believe how badly she could think about him. But then again, he thought the exact same thing about her. He wondered if she would cheat on him given the chance. He would be away for work for months at a time. It was easy for her to hide the fact she had met Zac and went to his concert. What if something like that happened again in the future but maybe with another ex of hers or with someone new entirely. Now that he thought about it, he also didn't know if he could deal with that.

"Are you saying you don't trust me, Y/n?" He asked slowly.

"I.. it's not that Seb. I.. I really don't know how to say this but.. I just don't know yet how to deal with this." She said in frustration.

"To be honest it crossed my mind too, Y/n. How easy it was for you to lie to me about Zac. Don't think that it didn't bother me. It did. It still does." He said, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm sorry, Seb." She said, her bottom lip trembled.

"I'm sorry too Y/n that you don't trust me yet and I'm sorry too about not trusting you yet either." He said in regret.

He saw a tear dropped from her eyes and this time he wiped it away. Despite feeling angry at her for not trusting him yet, he couldn't stop loving her.

His gesture seemed to break her guard that he had felt she had put up ever since he came into the bedroom earlier. She sobbed hard and he reached out and hugged her tight. He rubbed her back gently as she continued to cry on his shoulder.

He was reminded so much of their past. How she usually cried on his shoulder after breaking up with a guy and how sometimes it was him crying on her shoulder after a girl hurt him. He couldn't believe that this time it was him that made her cry and it was her that hurt him.

Love was really complicated. He finally concluded as he continued to feel the hurt in his heart.

As much as he hated it, at that moment he felt things were never going to be same between them.

And it broke him.

Taglist

@sebsgirl71479 @dhoruwolfie

Chapter 17 >

#sebastian stan #sebastianstan #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x female reader

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namenotyetunlocked · 10 months ago

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Little backstory on me, I am now a pagan practicing folk magic. I used to be a Christian, for a long long long time. I left the church when I was about 19 and became a pagan shortly after. I was raised in what can best be described as a cult. Very controlling, manipulative, and judgemental, all in the name of God. And I was deep in it, I mean deep. I was going to school to be a missionary, I was at every church event, praying, reading my Bible, tithing, being about as devout as one could be, and I was blessed. By blessed I mean blessed.

My family has a joke about me that if you wanted something just have me pray for it, and it would come true. And it was true. Everything I ever dreamed wanted or desired seemed to come true in some way or another. People would always say god was close to me and I was close to god. I was blessed and favored in his eyes.

When I was about 14 we had a prophet come and pray at my church. When he got to me, he broke down in tears because he said god had such big plans for me. Because I was highly anointed and would do great things for the kingdom. When I was 16 a very similar thing happened and for many of my teenage years I felt as though I was close to god, I was the expected outcome of my faith, I had a close relationship to him, I prayed, volunteered, planned for.missionary work, the whole shebang.

But really, I was severely depressed, suicidal, and dealing with extreme pressure and guilt. Unrealistic expectations, rules that seemed to change every day, irregular standards and expectations, all mixed with extreme cptsd and emotional abuse from my family. When I moved out it got worse. I felt guilty for just living, surviving , existing as a human being. The depression got worse, suicidal thoughts returned after years. I hated my very being and felt as though I was the poster child for a Christian failure.

So I gave up on religion. I stopped praying, I stopped reading my Bible, stopped worshipping. I still claimed to be a Christian, religion was literally killing me. I did this for a year, and I found a freedom I had never known, and a trust in myself I thought impossible. I had a better hold on things I had struggled with for over a decade! I was still depressed but I was also diagnosed with (literally) three chronic illnesses.

And then I met Iduna. If you are not pagan or spiritual you probably think I am crazy but I know what I saw, I know what I felt, what I heard, what I experienced. I was extremely in over my head, dealing with so many changes over a very short time. Suicidal thoughts were steadily creeping back in and I was in desperate need of some kind of support and help.

I remember this so vividly. I was laying down crying after a very hard day. I wasn't tired or sleeping. All of a sudden my vision, for lack of a better term split. My spirit ventured out of my body. I was seeing both my room and my bed, and also at the same time, the most amazing grove, filled with trees and flowers. A blond woman with the kindest smile had my hand, and was gently leading me. She was singing softly, almost like a lullaby. I heard a deeper voice singing off in the distance with her, but we walked away from it and towards a small patch of wildflowers. I sat down in the flowers and she sat in a rocking chair, a basket of thread and some kind of fabric craft in her lap. And she just asked me if I was ok.

She didn't tell me her name, she didn't say where we were, nothing. My vision was flickering back and forth from the grove to my home and I was in shock. I had no idea who she was or where I was, but her presence was familiar, it was gentle, loving, sweet and kind.

And she didn't want anything. She sat with me, in silence while a million questions ran through my mind. And in time she answered them. I learned later that it was Idun, or Iduna and I had been given a rare gift in her presence.

After this my questions about religion and God were replaced with a deep yearning to know more, more about this world I had been dragged into (willingly lol) for the first time I understood, other gods were real, they were out there, and I felt such a deep draw to them. My spirit was pulling me towards them as though it had been waiting all this time.

My path has changed a lot since then. I actually don't do much work with Iduna lol, but I do still keep in touch with her. I have a matron now, Frigg, goddess of motherhood and foresight. And I have discovered a great many new things about myself too beyond just this change in religions. And I am happy.

I just realized this is like the opposite of a testimonial lol whoops. Anyway. Ty if you read all that, I know it's a lot lmao.

#journal #religion #christianity #paganism #life lessons #life journey #growth #change #deconstructing christianity #magic #witchcraft

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againstme · 1 year ago

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THANK YOU CHASE so so so much for sharing all these songs, I thoroughly enjoyed every single one and feel very emotional after listening to all of them. Also I’m so sorry for how long my breakdowns of each song are, please don’t feel like you have to read all of them! Also I apologise as the further down it goes the longer the reviews get, I was getting really fuckin into it and by the final song I was really just in the zone.

I’m going to give your Spotify a follow now too and a lot of these songs are being added to my regular playlist so thank you <3

spring break 1899

- amazing vocals, love the tune and lyrics. It’s so full of emotion and I feel like I’m watching everything happen in slow motion like in a fight scene from a movie? If that makes sense? It’s so haunting and beautiful. I’m currently reading no country for old men and a lot of the lyrics feel so applicable to the book. Really amazing song I feel changed after listening to it, thank you so much for sharing this one

Cheer up Charlie

- I really enjoyed this song!! The lyrics were so emotional and there was so much hurt in the words and in their voice, like they’re carrying a lot of sadness and grief for the person being written about about. I also loved the guitar in this song, amazing riffs <3

Hungry ghost

- Off the bat the vocals are beautiful, I knew I’d enjoy this song which I did! Very relatable lyrics and such a beautiful way of expressing things I struggled with voicing in the past. A song that makes me feel less alone and brings comfort to a younger self

Voice

- That fact about the pre-recorded lyric he can no longer sing made me appreciate this song so much more, it feels really special to be able to listen to something that feels so personal. Both of little stars songs have been a beautiful experience so thank you for sharing it with me

Like green Jheri curl

- Fuck this song was so sad to listen to. “Did I do something wrong?” Is such a gut punch. Knowing there’s so many kids out there who were so alienated and made to feel like they weren’t being themselves the right way is so upsetting and conveyed so well in this song. ALSO the drumming in the last few seconds was just really enjoyable and a solid ending to an amazing track

WTF is sleep

- The lyrics “it’s too easy to be hard on yourself” and “finding comfort in feeling like hell” just really hit deep down, and I absolutely understand why those are some of the lines you also mentioned as they are something very relatable. Also the lyric “set no alarm cause I am totally guaranteed to wake to my chest beating miles ahead of me” is something I deal with on the regular with my anxiety and I’ve never had someone describe it in such an accurate way before. Fantastic song I really loved this one

When

- dodie has always been such an amazing artist and shaped so much of my teenage years. This song has always been such an emotional one and filled with relevant lyrics. I’ve always loved “I’ll take what I can get, cause I’m too damp for a spark”, because a lot of my first relationships definitely felt like I was just happy to be liked by someone despite how uninteresting I am. That’s changed a lot now but it still is something my 16 year old self can connect to

Institutionalized

- LOVED this song holy fuck. Another song that I really get. The entire verse about his mum and the drug accusations were really something I connect with and something I’m still coming to terms with and still hold resentment over as I had a lot of instances while living at home where conversations similar to this happened frequently. Really good song and the anger in his voice and the buildup before the chorus each time just really scratched an itch in my brain. Also from reading your comment under the song, I hope you’re doing okay in the residential and getting the support you need <3

People li: the reckoning

- The feeling this song evoked in me bro. like someone singing about these experiences is so amazing and the way it’s sung is just. so incredibly good. the lyrics “everything is real but it’s also just as fake. From your daughters birthday party to your grandmothers wake” is something that I deal with every single day with depersonalisation, and even experiencing my own grandmas funeral while suffering from depersonalisation just made it feel very personal and just the whole song was just a really good one to listen to and so well written

I spent the winter writing songs about getting better

- God man this one was a lot. “Making me in your image with the parts that people hate” was a big fucking YEA you get it. And “who the fuck am I to tell you it gets better” was a really emotional one. After years and years of being told by people that it will get better and feeling like I couldn’t be sad around them after that because they had pretty much told me to not be depressed anymore because one day I won’t be depressed, and resenting people for it, it’s really comforting to hear someone say the opposite. The final lyrics “Even if there’s a grand scheme and these moments don’t mean anything I want to collect them to remind myself that life still can still grab me I want to remember that there are moments where I’m capable of being so fucking happy” made me tear up a lil I can’t lie lmao. This song was really something and I enjoyed every minute of it

im SOOOOOOOOO glad you enjoyed the songs holy shit!! thank u for your review, i loved reading all of your thoughts on these songs. it is such a fun thing for me when i share music with people and get to be able to hear their thoughts about it, especially when i make a playlist for someone or just one for me or that season or that year that i end up sharing with my friends that we end up talking about.

i'm working on my 2024 chasecore playlist now, a liiiitle late into the year but better now than never, right? i think i'll add most if not all of these songs to the beginning of the playlist and branch off from there.

thank you for sharing so much !!! to me, this is what music is about. music to me is about connection and sharing and community. i love sharing music, i love playing music with people, regardless of what level they're at at guitar, i'll just mess around with them, because what's fun about it is just that connection. and having that creative energy shared between people.

i'm glad that i've been able to share that creative energy with you.

as a little treat, :3, here's some songs that've just been swirling in my brain to listen to today. i haven't done it yet but i will tonight.

love this song and the metaphor it's tellng. also it's suuuuuch a winter album to me. gonna do another song from this album too

love this one a lot too. i love listening to la dispute lyrics and just pulling up genius while listening to them to get the whole perspective on the storyline of the song, album, and the callbacks that it has to the previous album.

they're not everyone's vibe, but i like their kind of sing/scream/spoken word vocals a lot. it's unique, and the combo with the instrumentals (specifically the guitars) doing elaborate things in the background is so nice to be able to focus on.

i was gonna keep digging thru my spotify but i'd be here typing for an eternity. i hope u enjoy these little songy songs! and thank u for sharing your thoughts.

we could make a little chain of this if you want, where i send u stuff for you to review and you do vice versa, i think that'd be fun if you're interested in that :3 if not it's ok tho!

ok i done now byeeee

#c.txt #answered #tunes #figwhine

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charmixpower · 2 years ago

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Been thinking more about the Bloom's parents are evil au, bc admittedly main characters being princesses is absolutely not my thing. Unless it's a political drama about fighting another member of the royal family, those are sick

Domino's first meeting with Bloom is when Tecna and Stella sets up projector screens and Musa projects her voice, after they've all been saved, so Bloom can address as many people as possible

Bloom has never done public speaking and practically everyone falls in love with this adorable girlie

Marion and Oritel are the first people from Domino she probably meets, the actual first people who ever so slightly mob her into a group hug

They're a couple who are the main Guardian faries for Domino, because Daphne was considered the Guardian of all of Magix

Marion immediately starts cooing over Bloom because she's been nearly murdered since she was 16 and Marion's motherly instincts are taking over

Marion and Oritel essentially are Bloom's first contact with what Domino is really like, and after this they're part of the ambassador team for Domino. So the Winx, and mostly importantly Bloom, keep seeing them

Marion and Oritel worked closely as Guardians with Daphne, so they have a LOT of stories about her

Marion and Oritel we're already low key parental to Daphne, who was really struggling under the pressure of gaining Nymphix and fighting the ancestral witches (they need a new cooler name—)

Marion and Oritel get phones and whenever Bloom has a question about Domino or what's currently going on with acclimating to new society she texts them because they're willing to deal with her chaotic tendencies and constant rambling

And they kinda adore her. She's so adorable, and they desperately want kids (but the political and social situation makes that hard) so they're low key playing aunt and uncle

Bloom's parents are near the back, no where near Bloom, and they only saw the address because of the screens and amplification magic

The first time they meet they're ecstatic to see her, but they're pushy. Incredibly pushy

They keep making small remarks about Bloom's adoptive parents not being her real parents, they keep calling her their name for her instead of Bloom (even when Bloom tells them not to), they expect her to move in with them, they expect her to immediately uproot her life to be the princess of Domino and Bloom doesn't want to. Bloom has low self esteem, hates being the center of attention, and is just plain fucking weird; so she kinda pulls back

They're a lot of small arguments because Bloom's parents are very traditional and Bloom is very not and Bloom as already shown she's really uncomfortable with most of the stuff expected of her and they're relationship is tenuous at best. She feels more a prop for good pr instead of their daughter

They also don't have any funny or cool stories about Daphne. They mostly talk about her in a very stiff way and it makes Bloom sad lol

I think it's rlly weird that the magix dimension is so advanced but still has monarchies? So there really aren't any absolute power monarchies around any more, the Eraklyon empire and it's royal family just fell last year and it was the last big absolute power monarchy. There's other smaller ones, on fringe smaller planets, but Domino is a outlier now

Like most absolute monarchies, there was a revolution brewing, but with the whole dimension being attacked thing going on Marion and Oritel put the whole "murder the shit king a queen" on the back burner

And then Daphne happened and they felt so bad for the girl and all she's going through, so put it more on the back burner

They're very happy that Bloom seems distant from her parents, it means she will be hurt less when they get rid of the king and queen

(they don't get arrested for this because the magic council ruled they're not a proper part of the magical dimension yet, they still finger wag at the couple tho. The period of destabilization is undercut by the entire magical dimension pitching in to bring Domino into the new age. So it's pretty quickly re-stabilized)

Bloom is part horrified, part happy that Domino doesn't have an absolute monarch anymore, part more scared and sad that her parents are in jail/gone, part relived that she doesn't have to deal with any more ect ect this back in forth in her head goes on and on

Technically the monarchy isn't gone because Bloom, and they ask her to step down to free Domino of the choke hold it's always been in from the magically powerful royal family

Bloom does so, and Marion and Oritel are very happy about this

(Sky is having a host of emotions, and a big part of him wants to burst out laughing that both he and Bloom ended up in the same situation)

Unsurprisingly this strains their relationship but they warm back up to eachother once they explain why Bloom's parents really really needed to be out of that chair right then. Bloom gets it, I can't imagine Bloom being pro monarchy outside of the initial "omg fairy princess 🥺" and she realizes that it's actually a political system

They eventually repair their relationship, and Marion and Oritel end up calling themselves Bloom's aunt and uncle and their child is Bloom's cousin by that logic lol, Bloom loves the little spark

Bloom is still beloved by the public and takes the official role of the Guardian fairy of Domino once the political system is re-set up

The other girls help her get use to being a proper Guardian Fairy as a part of a system and Marion and Oritel do everything to make her as comfortable as possible

Marion probably is elected leader, so she handles all this for Bloom

Mike and Vanessa can move to Domino whenever the fuck they want and live off of Bloom's considerable magical dimension salary (that doesn't work on the not integrated Earth) they go back and forth on it but if they did they'd become parent friends with Marion and Oritel

Daphne in this world is more elegant, close off, and proper compared to my normal fire cracker characterization to match with her new status as the good one from the royal family

Bloom has a small break down about how she could of turned out at least once, it's fine tho

You think there's like?? Events for Guardian Faries? Bloom has always been invited because of her role in protecting the dimension but it's always been awkward because she doesn't have a planet, and now she does and that's cool

There is a small (read: large) media circus around these events and Bloom fucking hated how she was constantly hounded

Stella and Aisha handle it for her and if push comes to shove Tecna and Musa chase them off with a stick

I think that's all my thoughts for now about this au/idea but I really like it rjejsje

#this show. loz. alta. Yona of the dawn. for someone who doesn't like royalty main characters i sure do #this is why i constantly obess over aus where their not royalty. my yona is just some girl au is near and dear to my heart #don't even ask me why. i literally don't know #every time I write a character that has a tangential ''princess'' like roll they end up ditching it to go galavanting off into the distance #OR it's a political drama #i HAVE a type and I don't know why #rus chatters #teleporters better planets because of the ocean portals existed before phones me thinks. no one on domino has seen Tecnomagic before #winx au #winx bloom #winx domino #winx marion #winx oritel #winx club

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iluvcvnnie · 3 years ago

Text

cheerleader!misa

warnings: very nsfw towards the end, cursing, eating out

pairing: misa amane x fem!reader

dni if under 16

wc: 1k+

It was a casual boring monday afternoon for you in school. Your chin rested on your left hand as you listened to your teacher give some boring lecture on who knows what. You constantly stare at the clock while the minute hand moves as slow as ever. You take a deep breath and sigh very loudly causing your teacher to turn around and face you. “Shit” you mutter under your breath. Luckily the bell rings just in time for the class to be excused.Your teacher looked pretty tired so they didn’t even bother asking you to stay after class.

You quickly grab your backpack then dash out of the door. The hallways are always crowded with students which always irritates you since you don't like being this close to so many people. Plus the constant shoving you have to deal with when people run in the hall to meet up with their friends.

You continue to walk at a fast pace which gets you closer and closer to the exit. A grin plasters on your face once you see the sun shining outside that door. You’re so close to exiting the place you hate the most until you feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket. Since your locker is near the exit of your school you walk to it and pull your phone out. The brightness on your phone illuminates your face, making you lower it since it hurts your eyes. Who the hell turned my brightness up this high. Then you remembered that it was your girlfriend who did it since she always complains about how low it is.

Once you lowered your brightness you scrolled down to read the notification you got. It’s a text message from your girlfriend.

m: guess who has practice afterschoooool

y/n: practice?

m:...

m: y/n you seriously forgot

y/n: babe i’m kidding you know that i could never forget that you made the cheer team :)

m: i knowwww

m: anyways since it is my first day, you wanna stop by and come visit me afterwards???

m: i know you find the football team and the cheerleaders annoying buuuut

y/n: well i don’t find ALL of the cheerleaders annoying

m: really?! Who do you like

y/n: you, just you lol

y/n: but of course i’ll come and support you <3

m: aaaand you’ll get to see me in my uniform.

m: i know how much you likeeee it

You bite your lip remembering the times misa had sent you seductive photos of her in the cheer uniform. Taking photos of her thighs while in her mini skirt texting you: “wish you were here.” Or the selfies in the crop shirt positioning the phone at her breast. Fuck I can’t be thinking about this right now.

m: babe?

y/n: um yeah i’ll be there!

You quickly turn the opposite way from the exit and walk towards the football field. Your school is a decent size but it’s your senior here so you pretty much know your way around the whole place. You pushed multiple doors and walked down multiple staircases until you finally reached the bleachers.

The sun began burning your forehead which made you instantly regret coming to this practice. But it’s for misa so of course you’re showing up. She’s had the most positive impact on you ever since you moved to this school. Before you two got into a relationship you two were close friends, basically best friends. Always there for each other. You told each other everything and both comforted each other.

Your feelings began to grow stronger for her everyday. It wasn’t until she had confessed her feelings first that gave you courage to ask her out. So here you are 1 year later and still together. Now you're sitting on a steaming hot bleacher bench getting ready to watch your girlfriend at cheerleader practice.

You turned around to scan your surroundings. All you saw were a bunch of guys who you assumed were on the football team supporting their girlfriends. You began hoping that this practice ends soon so then one of the guys doesn’t try to start a conversation with you.

Finally you spot a group of cheerleaders run out onto the bright green football field. You quickly spotted misa and her bright smile as she conversed with the other girls. The sun shines on her golden locks as you watch her begin to stretch. The sun is like misa’s spotlight causing her skin to shine bright.

Your eyes scan all over her body as she stands up to continue stretching. Her eyes swiftly find yours. She smirks once she notices you checking her out. She decides to tease you, curious on what your reaction will be.

She steadily turns around then begins to bend over. She starts to reach down to touch her toes. She does this flawlessly while looking incredibly sexy while doing so. Misa is super flexible so all the stretches come easy to her.

Her pink laced underwear starts to show, making you clench your thighs together. She notices how flustered you are, causing her to smirk. “Oh fuck you” you mouth. She chuckles then brings herself back up standing straight. Luckily none of the guys were on the bleachers anymore since they had to go to practice.

You grin then shake your head. After a few more stretches they began to start their routine. It has been a few hours since you’ve been sitting on the bleachers. Honestly the time went by fast. After misa did that last jump in the air and landed it perfectly. The coach blew the whistle which meant that practice was over.

Misa jogged over to you while her high ponytail swayed left and right. Before you could say anything, Misa cups your face then places a delicate kiss on your lips. The kiss lasts for a good ten seconds. Until it sadly breaks apart. Your favorite taste of misa’s lip gloss lingers on your lips. You and misa both grab your backpacks then you wrap your arm around her waists as you both walk into the parking lot.

“Soooo how was practice?” Misa turns her head at you with a blank facial expression. “Uhhh you were there.” “You know what I mean, was it fun?” “Honestly, no.” “No?!” “It was ok but not fun.” “Oh.” “It would have been fun if my girlfriend stopped eye fucking me on the bleachers and just fucked me on the field.” “In front of everyone.” You whisper in her ear. Her breath hitches “Yeah…”

“How about I fuck you right now?” “In the car?” “Yeah” You both quickly enter the car while the tension is rising.

Misa quickly straddles you then begins to place soft sloppy kisses all over your neck. Your breath starts to hitch as you already feel your core heat up. Your hands begin to roam all over her body. Your hands move under her skirt and start to fondle her ass while her body rocks back and forth on your thighs. Misa begins to slowly unbutton your top, revealing your bra. Once you help her unclasp it she begins to plant kisses all over your exposed breasts. Her lips quickly latch on to your nipple which makes you bite your lip.

You feel her warm tongue swirl onto your erect bud. While she sucks on your right nipple her left hand fondles your left tit. She squeezes it a bit too hard causing you to let out a moan. You mumble multiple profanities aloud while Misa is still sucking your tits. After she sucks on your breast. She gets off of you and lowers herself to the floor. Her head is between your knees while she goes in to start kissing your inner thighs. You then feel her warm tongue slide up and down your clothed area. “Such a pretty girl for me.” You feel her voice vibrate all throughout your core.

“Gonna eat you out so good huh?” You feel her fingers remove your underwear as she begins to slowly suck on your clit. She places her face deeper in between your thighs as you feel misa lick up all of your juices. Once she gives one last lick a load of cum shoots out onto her face. “Sorry…” You both laugh a little bit as she wipes it off then licks it with her fingers. Misa gets back up and straddles you again.

You figure it’s time to please her since she worked so hard today. Your hand goes under her mini skirt as you feel the wetness between her legs. “Fuck, baby your soaked.” Misa unlatches her mouth from your nipple as her hips begin to rock faster once you insert a digit inside of her. Your finger begins to pump faster and faster and she lets out elicit moans.

Your eyes are both half lidded while misa tits bounce up and down. The cheer uniform shirt makes her tits almost fall out at times. This is one of those times. She doesn’t even take the shirt off, they just fall out. “Fuck your tits are so pretty babe.” “You're so beautiful you know that right?” Misa just nodds her head while you finger fuck her. You mutter praises after praises until Misa cums all over your hand.

Her head falls onto your shoulder as you place delicate kisses on her forehead. “I love you so much baby.” Misa, being too tired to speak, mumbles an “I love you more” while placing a kiss on your shoulder. You both fall asleep in the parking lot while Misa is still straddling on top of you with your arms wrapped around her waist.

#misa amane smut #misa amane x fem reader #misa amane x reader #misa amane x female reader #death note x reader #death note smut #misa smut

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daddyjackfrost · 4 years ago

Note

hii! from your prompt list can i request 16 with sakusa?

hi!! yes ofc! y’all do be requesting a lot of angst tho. don’t hate me when your heart hurts😛🥰

prompt 16: “we’re not together.”

sakusa x f!reader

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort (post -timeskip)

Dating a high end volleyball player was hard.

No one told you of the sacrifices you would make and the turbulence of emotions you would feel. Still, you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

You hadn’t been with Sakusa long. You had known him for a few years but you two were just mutual friends. It was only when you moved to his town did you and Sakusa start getting close.

Your relationship was relatively new.

Sakusa had officially asked you on a date two months ago, and you two became official a week later. Although your status had changed, things with Sakusa were calm and hadn’t really changed.

There was a solid base of trust and respect that held your relationship together, and you knew that you and Sakusa were meant to be.

You were confident in your relationship. And you knew that Sakusa was a relatively private person, so when he asked to keep the relationship on the low until he was comfortable, you immediately agreed. You didn’t need the world to know you were dating him. You knew, and that was enough.

However, it did hurt when you couldn’t go to games with him, or leave with him. Due to his own, and his teams fan base, Sakusa was always surrounded, and he knew that if you were seen with him, the questions and press would be endless.

You understood where he was coming from, and respect his decision. But you told him that you wanted to at least where his jersey, which he reluctantly agreed too.

So, here you were. Sitting in your boyfriend’s jersey in the middle of the bleachers as fans cheered their loudest.

This game had been particularly long. Both teams unwilling to lose. You glanced down at your watch and frowned. You had taken the bus to get here and the last bus left ten minutes ago. You shrugged, I’ll tell Omi to take me.

One hour and a mere three points later, MBSY Black Jackals were celebrating their hard earned win. You smiled brightly, cheering with the crowd.

People rushed down the the floor, trying to get close to the players. You stayed back, letting the fans have their fill of sweat and one-sided adoration.

After the coach yelled for the gym to clear out, and once it did, you waited for Sakusa to take a shower. You smiled at Bokuto and Hinata, who both grinned at you, waving.

You felt eyes on your back but you shook them off. You needed to talk to Sakusa and tell him you needed a ride home, or to his place.

After about twenty minutes, Sakusa exited the locker room. He wore black sweatpants and a MBSY hoodie. His hair was went and his curls were on full display.

You stared at him with a slightly gape smile. Sakusa was the most beautiful man you had ever had the pleasure of seeing, and he was all yours.

You smiled at him when you caught his eye. “Omi, you did so well!”

Sakusa smiled at you, his eyes crinkling. It was a rare sight, but with you smiling at him and praising him, Sakusa couldn’t help it. He walked towards you, but you could see his eyes darting behind you and around you.

He was scared someone would see.

Sakusa and you walked out of the gym, hand in hand. It had been almost an hour since the game ended, and as you both walked and engaged in small talk, the idea of people still being around was not on your mind.

“Hey, Omi,” Sakusa turned his head slightly to look at you, “can I ride with you? The bus isn’t coming at this hour.”

Sakusa nodded, squeezing your hand. “Of course.”

He hated seeing you get on the bus after games when he would much rather have you seated beside him, but he wasn’t ready for the questions or the media that would come with a public relationship. Sakusa hated attention, and he knew that he had dedicated fans. The last thing he wanted was to make himself or you uncomfortable.

When the automatic doors opened, Sakusa immediately dropped your hand.

People hadn’t left. Fans surrounded the doors and your eyes widened. Curious and heated eyes eyed you and Sakusa, and your now unlinked hands.

Sakusa took a step away from you and your heart twisted. With his mask covering most of his face, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling or thinking.

Questions came blaring at Sakusa about you.

“Are you guys dating?”

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“You’re dating that?”

“Are you guys together?”

You licked your lips at the looks you received. Some were filled with disgust, others with hatred. You now realized why Sakusa had wanted to keep your relationship private, but there was no point in hiding it now.

They had seen you holding hands, and you were waiting for Sakusa to say something.

And he did.

Just not what you were expecting.

“No, we’re not together.”

Your heart dropped into to your stomach and you slowly turned to face him. With wide eyes and a frown, you stared at Sakusa’s blank eyes.

Yes, you hadn’t been together long, but for him to blatantly disregard your relationship made you feel like he was embarrassed of you.

And maybe he was.

Fans turned their heads to look at you for your reaction. You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried your best to smile. You understood where Sakusa was coming from, but he has no right to embarrass you or ignore your relationship.

You were worth more than that.

You pulled your sweater tighter around you. “Yes,” you said. You looked at Sakusa in the eyes and then said, “We’re not together.”

You pushed past the crowd and began walking down the street. You could hear the crowd firing questions at Sakusa but their voices fell flat on your ears. It wasn’t fair to Sakusa pick and choose when he wanted to ‘be’ in a relationship. Instead of flat out saying that you weren’t together, he could have chosen not to answered.

You scoffed, tired of his games. Now you were waking alone at night, all because Sakusa was too afraid to deal with the outcome of a public relationship.

The air was chilling and you were afraid. Walking home in the dark was dangerous, and you knew that. But there was no other way to get home.

Or so you thought.

A silver car pulled up beside you and you almost started crying until you saw a familiar silver-haired man poke his head out. Bokuto stared at you with disbelief. “Y/n? What are you doing walking at this house?”

You blinked a few times before chuckling. Of course Bokuto would be your knight in shining armour.

You shrugged, spreading your arms. “Just walking home after my boyfriend told everyone we’re not together.”

Bokuto frowned. He parked the car and nodded at you. “Come, I’ll give you a lift home.”

You smiled at Bokuto and nodded, walking to the passenger side and slipping in. You sighed in content. His car was warm.

“Bo, you played really well today.” Bokuto grinned at you, drumming his hands on the steering wheel.

“Thanks, y/n! Did you see my receive at the end? Wasn’t it amazing?”

You laughed, telling him it was. Sitting with Bokuto and talking like friends took your mind off Sakusa, who was sitting in his own car, frowning.

When you got home, you thanked and said goodbye to Bokuto, immediately making your way to your bed. Your phone rang and you ignored it, knowing who it was.

You slipped under your covers and shut your eyes, too tired to change or do anything. Your heart still hurt from Sakusa’s words and you told yourself you’d shower and change your bed sheets when you wake up.

Three hours later, your eyes fluttered open at the sound of your doorbell and loud knocking.

You groaned and got out of bed, fixing your shirt. You opened the door as you yawned, and your eyes fell on Sakusa. He stood rigidly outside your door. His eyes wide with concern and his fist raised to knock.

You blinked a few times before shutting the door on his face.

“Y/n!” Sakusa quietly shouted. “Open the door.”

You shook your head, and then realized he couldn’t see you. “No. Go away, Kiyoomi. I’m tired.”

Sakusa sighed, slightly leaning against your door. When he drove down the street you had walked on, only to find you gone, he panicked. He had driven down the road twice and around the block to look for you but he couldn’t find you. Sakusa had never felt so guilty in his life.

When he tried calling you, he got no answer. It wasn’t until Bokuto had texted him that he accidentally had his knee pads and had dropped you off that his heart had settled a little.

The knowledge of you being in a car alone with Bokuto made Sakusa slightly angry. But then he realized you wouldn’t have been with him if he hadn’t been such a coward and a terrible boyfriend.

“Please, y/n,” you heard Sakusa’s strained voice come through the door. “I need to see you.”

You sighed and opened the door, walking to your sofa so Sakusa could let himself in. You sat crossed legged on the sofa, hugging a pillow.

Sakusa silently walked in, gently shutting the door behind him. You stared at him through tired and slightly annoyed eyes.

Sakusa walked up to you, scratching the back of his neck. You gently shut your eyes, tired.

“I tried calling you.”

You scoffed, opening your right eye to stare at Sakusa’s awkward stance.

“Congratulations.”

Sakusa let out a sigh, and then awkwardly shuffled towards the couch, sitting beside you, but not close to you.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I shouldn’t have said that we weren’t together.”

You sighed, opening up both your eyes and laying the pillow on your lap. You turned your head to face Sakusa and your eyes slightly widened. Sakusa was slightly hunched, and his lips were pulled into a frown, his eyes a cloud of emotions you couldn’t decipher.

“What would you have said, Kiyoomi?”

Sakusa turned his head, meeting your eyes. “What do you mean?”

You cleared your throat. “You said you shouldn’t have said we weren’t together. What would you have said instead, then?”

Sakusa was silent. He knew that you were tired of him brushing you off when it came to your relationship in public and he felt terrible. But Sakusa wasn’t ready for the media and attention he knew that he would get.

“I... don’t—”

You sat up straighter, cutting Sakusa off.

“Kiyoomi, I know that you’re not comfortable with a public relationship, and I totally understand that, but you completely shut us down tonight. I had to walk home alone, and who knows what would have happened if Bokuto hadn’t come.”

Sakusa’s frowned deepened.

“I just... I don’t know. I guess I want to be treated like your equal and not someone you can just brush off when it’s convenient for you.”

Sakusa’s eyes widened and he sharply turned his head to face you. “You are my equal, y/n.”

You let out a small laugh. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

Silence washed over you both, and you stared at your feet. You were in stalemate. You couldn’t tell Sakusa that you wanted him to reveal your relationship. You would never do that. But you didn’t want him to completely shut you down in public either.

Sakusa cleared his throat, and when you lifted your head, your eyes slightly widened. He was much closer than he was before.

With a hesitant pause, Sakusa gently put his thin pale hand on your knee. You watched through careful eyes.

Sakusa rarely ever ignited touch with you.

“I’m genuinely really sorry, y/n. I was only thinking for myself, only considering how I would feel.”

You slightly nodded, confirming his words.

“Come with me to the game tomorrow.”

You lifted your eyes to meet his, surprised with his words. When you really looked at him, past the gentleness in his eyes, you saw promise.

There was no sign of nervousness. No indication of uncomfortableness.

“I am coming to the game tomorrow.”

Sakusa shook his head, gently rubbing your clothed knee unconsciously. “No, I mean,” Sakusa licked his lips, suddenly self-conscious. “Come with me tomorrow.”

You raised an eyebrow. Confused at what he was insinuating.

“As my girlfriend.”

You stared at Sakusa, waiting for him to take back his words.

“Kiyoomi... I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

Sakusa shook his head, a small gentle smile on his lips. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You stared at him, a look of shock on your face.

Sakusa pulled back, his lips pulling into a slightly wider grin. Your own lips lifted into a smile and you both stared at each other with goofy smiles and gentle eyes filled future promises.

“If you ever embarrass me like that in public though,” you narrowed your eyes at him. “I’ll tell the world you only eat blue teddy bear gummies.”

“Consider me threatened.”

hehe. angst refund @elektrosonix ? even though this is angst BUT there’s comfort at the end!

taglist: @h-grangerstudies @elektrosonix @snoozless @ackerpotato @asterroidd @rinrinniesstuff @bokuatsubro @literaleftist @howcanyoubreathewithnozaire @addicedtoeverythinganime @felixsamour @megumeee @aghashiii @fail-big

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x you #sakusa kiyoomi #hq sakusa #sakusa angst #sakusa drabble #msby sakusa #sakusa x reader #hq prompt #haikyuu sakusa #hana.writes!

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annemagus · 4 years ago

Text

natural love potion; h.p.

Pairing: harry potter x fem!Gryffindor!reader Timeline: HBP / 6th year Warning(s): cussing, mentions of dying and blood, submission, reader pining Word Count: 5k

A/N: Hey there! This is my first ever post. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Harry and Y/N are friends. Just friends. Much like Harry and Hermione, there is nothing out of it that is going on between them. Not until that day in potions.

—

“Are you done with my potion?“

“You mean, will Professor Slughorn call you by your name? Then yes, Wallenby.“

It was the first week of another year at Hogwarts. New faces, new prefects and even new professors are introduced, as usual. Professor Slughorn is the newest addition to the faculty and to have a good first impression with the students, he's given the 6th years Amortentia, the love potion, as their first Potions homework.

They were supposed to put it in their selected food or drink and it had to be unnoticeable. Why would the Potions Teacher assign this kind of homework to the students? No one knows. But this certainly gave him a good first impression to a large number of students.

“Blimey Harry, we've been rotten at Potions ever since. Now look at you, it's as if you've taken private lessons with Snape the whole summer. You’re the bloody Potions Master in our year now!“

The two Gryffindors are making their way out of their dorm room towards the Common Room with Harry holding a small basket of cookies to bring it in the dungeons where the potions classroom is at. Y/N is patiently waiting for them near the Portrait as several students greet her along the way.

"G'morning."

“Where’s ‘Mione?“ Ron exclaimed without even acknowledging the girl’s presence.

“Uhm, shouldn't you know that, Mr Prefect?"

The male prefect then realized the time and his supposed agenda to escort first years to the Great Hall. Harry scolded him of how much he and others would kill to be in his position and yet he’s never given it any importance.

“Godric, have mercy on me. Hermione’s gonna kill me!” the redhead exclaimed after getting a playful slap behind his head from the Chosen One before rushing away from the two.

“Much worse than that, she’s gonna make him expelled,“ she jokes with a mouthful of cookie from the small basket Harry was holding. "Mhm, you have no idea how badly I've been craving cookies since last week! This is good, Har. Where’d ya buy it?“

Harry, before realizing what happens, freezes. He was too busy lecturing his best friend that he didn't notice a hand sneaking into his potion, the cookie. His hand slowly snakes its way to the contents of the basket that has supposedly four cookies but now has only three. “Y/N!“

"What?" she chuckles dreamily.

"We need to get you to the Hospital Wing."

“What for? You put poison in it, didn't you?“ Y/N continues to chuckle dreamily.

Harry stares at his friend as if she was some peculiar experiment. “How are you feeling, Y/N?“

“I feel like . . .“ she sighs dramatically as she gazes far away, mesmerized. The effects are plainly obvious. “I feel like falling.“

“Falling?“ Harry's stomach twisted. This is what makes Potions classes bothersome, the uncertainty of knowing whether the potion you brew is right or wrong. You can only know it if you’re a professional or by testing the potion done, which in Harry’s case, Y/N would do for him.

"I'm falling in love, Harry. I'm falling in love with you."

And boy was he really the Potions Master.

The raven-haired boy's cheeks got warm the second those words escaped his friend's lips. The two are only friends and have never acted more than that. Seeing this new side of Y/N for Harry is too foreign for him.

Sure, Harry has seen her date two boys from different houses, but being the recipient of her romantic antics has never crossed his path. His last romantical relationship, if you can call it that, was last year with the senior Ravenclaw Cho Chang. Even that didn't go well. He went on a single date with her just to make her believe he's in love with both Hermione and Y/N. Ever since then, he never thought about committing to any romantic relationship.

"Harry . . ." Y/N's hand reached out for his arm, grazing down slowly towards his hand with too much delicacy. Their hands are now intertwined. The both of them have never reached this close proximity, having learned now that one of his best friend's palms are soft but slightly calloused in the fingertips from playing muggle instruments and Harry fears that when Ron finds out about this act, he will tease them nonstop which isn't fair for Y/N. ". . . I know this may sound all too sudden, but, I have loved you ever since."

He didn't respond. He tries to block all of this sudden affection out of his mind knowing these are all artificial.

"Don't you love me back?"

"Of course I do. You're my best frie-"

If his cheeks were warm, now, his ears as well are on fire. Y/N has thrown herself to the flustered boy, locking his neck and face in her arms, squealing in happiness like a kid. Holding hands is a new thing for The Boy Who Lived but hugging him as if to let the world know he's someone's is another thing.

Very few people have ever hugged him in all the history of his 16 years of existence, knowing the story of his parents and the lack thereof. His godfather, Mrs Weasley and Hermione are the only ones — as far as he knows — written in a tiny piece of parchment of the list of people who have hugged him. Yet none of them could compare to this hug as those mentioned acted parental towards him.

Students are now starting to pass them out of the Common Room towards the Great Hall. One of those shouted, "get a room!" They're still standing just beside the Portrait Hole where Ron has left them both to deal with his own romance.

"Uhm, Y/N, why don't we go get ourselves some breakfast first, yes?"

"Yes! Let's tell 'Mione and Ron that we're finally together!"

—

Breakfast was agonizingly slow, to Harry's opinion. Y/N can't stop giggling beside him and feeding him like an infant earning them attention from the others.

"Oi, Potter! Didn't know that you two are . . ."" Seamus makes a kissing face earning a few cackles and sniggers from their other friends at the table.

The boy just ignored them with an eye roll, amusing the two friends in front of him.

"Leave them be, Harry. Besides, when was the time Y/N acted on you this way, huh?" They all diverted their gaze to the dazed girl. Eyebrows knitted in concentration as she feeds him but at the same time doing her best to get as close to Harry as the universe could possibly give her the opportunity to. They've never seen her this in love and affectionate. And the two thought that Harry just deserves it even just for a while. "Never, right? You better make it worthwhile."

"Thanks, Ron. Really helpful." He answered with his famous eye-roll.

"Always here for you, mate "

"I just don't get why we couldn't tell Professor Slughorn immediately. I mean, I'm sure he has something for Y/N. Or Madam Pomfrey-"

"Yeah? In which I'm sure is also your easiest ticket to detention."

The boy grunts some incoherent words of profanities under his breath. Not only was he getting embarrassed by the fact that one of his close friends is acting like his girlfriend but dragging Y/N along with his catastrophic life is just too unfair on her side. She didn't ask for this. Plus, detention in the second week of a new school year doesn't sound good.

The Brightest Witch reminded them not to take Potions lightly. It may sound like not the most helpful subject in a wizarding war, but can get you expelled once meddled with students. In short, what happened to Y/N is very illegal. You should not use or test your Potions project with another student. Plus, Filch will go nuts if he gets the news that a student gave another student a love potion.

“Well, at least, now we know that your Potion worked well.”

"Come on, we're going to be late for DADA."

On their way towards Snape's classroom — a fact Harry still can't accept — Y/N's fingers are interlaced with Harry's as they walk. She's given him her bag as that's what boyfriend and girlfriends do. In the classroom, Y/N didn't sit in her usual spot but literally kicked Ron out of his chair to sit beside Harry, the boy just mouths a sorry.

Her usual focus from the class was now inclined to Harry himself alone the whole class. Out of all their major subjects, Harry is known to have the Defence Against the Dark Arts class on top of it all. Y/N knows it, having been a member of Dumbledore's Army. Everybody knows it. But with Snape being the teacher and Y/N constantly caressing his left cheek every time Snape's back faces them, the said subject is somehow kicked out of its place on top.

"Y/N, do you mind?" He tried but obviously failed to ask her to stop in the nicest way he can utter. "I mean, it'll be really hard for us to pass DADA, and eventually NEWTs, if we're both distracted." His voice is hoarse and soft, one way or another. Afraid to hurt the girl beside him and cause a scene. Letting his former Potions Professor know his mischief doing is the least of his priorities for the day. Merlin, at least, let this day finish without anyone knowing.

"Harry, my love, it's not my fault your eyes are distracting. They're the most beautiful green not even the most beautiful forest in the world could compare to."

Once again, his cheeks and ears are on fire for the 37th time this morning. Most of the reasons are from the nonstop compliments he's receiving from the girl. It didn't take much energy from him to not believe all of it. He grew up with the Dursleys, they didn't fail to engrave in his mind his place and worth.

"Care to share in class what you're chattering about, Mr Potter?" The elder snarled in the middle of his discussion, letters extending out of his tongue as per usual. He finally notices, as always, Harry making another noise across the room.

"Nothing, Professor."

The said Professor narrowed his eyes to the duo. He knows, of course, he knows, he was a bloody Potions Professor ever since he accepted the job offered to him at Hogwarts.

"I'm saying this once and only once," he positioned himself in front of the two, now leaning to the Gryffindor boy to let just the two hear what he'll say. "Fix this, or you will face more vile punishment than getting expelled."

The class was dismissed with 50 points taken from Gryffindor. Harry is used to it, even his other fellow Gryffindors weren't surprised anymore. As a matter of fact, as long as he is breathing, infinite points will be deducted from their house.

As they were heading out of the classroom, Hermione gently peels the zonked out Y/N away from her grasp on the poor boy. "Harry, you can't let the other teachers know about this."

"Well, what do you suggest then?"

The next words that came out of her lips are like caffeine to the sleepy heads of Harry and Ron. They could not believe she could say such things. Even Y/N would have been gobsmacked if she just wasn't in a daze.

"Don't go to classes?" Her tone was laced with uncertainty. But she couldn't think of any other option, she'd rather let them take a day off classes than have Harry nor Y/N expelled.

"Can I come with them?"

—

Harry Potter's Monday was bizarrely different from his usual ones. He has spent the whole day with Y/N trailing behind him like a baby duck. His hand used to be sweaty the whole time with her's but now, it felt more comforting than awkward interlocked with his.

The castle was quiet, with all the students in class, it gave him privacy and away from the prying eyes of malicious gossipers. They couldn’t get inside the Common Room as some 7th years are hanging there knowing they have fewer classes and more time for reviewing for their NEWTs, library; some teachers roam around there, Hagrid’s Hut; knowing Hagrid, as much as they love the guy, couldn’t keep his mouth shut from secrets.

As much as he dreads going to class all the time, it was strange to see the castle this quiet without Ron’s company.

He was throwing pebbles by the lake to pass time as Y/N sat on the ground behind him, making them their Charms essay homework.

The boy studies her features. Y/N wasn’t so bad. Her hair’s tidier than Hermione’s. She was actually beautiful. He would’ve taken her to the Yule Ball when Ravenclaw Cho Chang declined his invitation and if it wasn’t for that Slytherin bloke asking her out instantly - her first ex-boyfriend who Y/N dated a few months back. Her hair tucked in her ear as she focuses on what to write next in her essay. Harry feels bad for making her write his homework but the girl insisted. Guess you’d do anything for the people you love.

He looks back on the lake. Thinking of the people who have loved him did everything they could to protect him, even dying. First, his parents, then Sirius even Jesus, what did he do to deserve this fate. What good will it be if the people he loves are gone?

Two arms wrapped around his chest from behind startled him.

“You’re tense.” Y/N’s hand unwrapped his bloodied hand. He didn’t even notice he was gripping the stone tightly, his scarlet blood staining the object.

“It’s nothing.“ He cranes his neck to stare at the girl on his right shoulder. Her eyes are full of concern and love. Love that he created out of a goddamn potion for a goddamn homework. A love that could never be compared to the love of his parents and Sirius. A goddamn false love. His brows knitted before jumping out of Y/N’s embrace with panic.

“I think we can go inside now.“

The rest of the day consists of Harry, trying to ignore all of Y/N’s pining over him. He tries to remember that all of these are not her fault, there’s nothing to get mad at her about. Running away from her is also impossible as she committed herself to cling to Harry’s arm as if her life depends on it.

Finally, classes are over and dinner is approaching. The two are reunited with Hermione and Ron in a secluded area of a random hallway, as Harry was hoping to get less attention from other students as they got earlier at breakfast.

“How are the love birds?“ Ron teases, seeing their hands locked still.

“Oh, it was majestic, Ron! Harry took me to the Black Lake even though today was a school day. I feel a little rebellious, to be honest.“

“Good hiding spot.“ Hermione commented.

“I’m not going to the Great Hall for dinner. So you two can bring Y/N instead.“

“No! I’m coming with you!“

“Y/N aren’t you tired of my company yet?“

“I could never! I love you.“

Ron snickered pretty loudly in front of them, even Hermione couldn’t suppress a smile.

“Aren't you two just adorable?” the redhead continues to tease.

“Don’t worry Harry, Ron and I will bring you supper instead.“

The day has finally ended and the effects of the Amortentia, as what the favourite book of Harry says, wears off after 24 hours. It was past Y/N’s get up time but fortunately for them, she took her time sleeping exactly until the effects wore off.

She moans with pain as she tries to sit up from her bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"'Mione?"

"It's me."

"I feel like a full construction site is inside my head . . . and I feel awful. Like, waking up on the wrong side of the wrong bed."

"Do you feel anything . . . unusual? Like, something or particularly someone you want to obsess about?"

The girl looks at her strangely and then at the time. "Bloody heck Hermione, aren't we late for breakfast?"

Clearly, Y/N remembers none from the incident.

Meanwhile, at the Great Hall, Harry is tapping his leg out of anxiousness. If his Amortentia was too strong and didn’t ease away, he might as well pack his belongings and leave Hogwarts voluntarily. His precious book from the Half-Blood Prince has mentioned the cure for a love potion but the ingredients are only held by the Potions Teacher. The horrors there will be once he mentions this to a teacher is unimaginable, he’d rather spend the day with a dazed Y/N than get lectures from a teacher.

“Don’t worry about your girlfriend, mate,“ Ron’s words are muffled from a chicken leg in between his teeth from across him. “They’re here.“

Across the Hall, the two girls are striding towards their place.

“Why are you at my seat?”

“Uhhh . . .” stammering, Ron glances at Harry for help. They were normally sitting beside each other but after the incident yesterday, they thought Y/N would love to sit next to the Golden Boy. “I-I don’t know either,“ just sliding to his side to make room for the two.

“How are you feeling, Y/N?“ Harry asks the dishevelled looking girl in front of him. Both Hermione and Ron - who are sitting side by side - are listening to the exchange intently.

“Honestly, I feel bad. Like, subconsciously, I know this day would be so bad,” Y/N sighs depressingly. “Why, are you alright?“

“Yeah,” deep inside the boy, a strong wave of relief passed him. His body was cold from the nerves, but knowing his Amortentia had finally worn off, those nerves were showered off of him with a warm relieving feeling. “Actually, I’ve never been better.”

“Well, at least one of us has woken up on the right side of the bed.“ she chuckles half-heartedly. Harry felt guilty hastily after hearing those words. It’s all your fault dipshit.

As Y/N is back to sitting beside Hermione, she is also back to her normal self. Talking to her alone about their Charms homework that she never remembers making and some other random stuff that the boys could not give a care about. She was back to not paying any attention to the Golden Boy at the front who she absentmindedly know is staring at her.

Morning supper was finished and the quartet is now in Snape’s classroom. Y/N was back to sitting beside the cute Hufflepuff guy she's been crushing on and Harry is back stuck with his blabbering best friend.

As Snape discusses some more non-verbal spells and the techniques, he takes time to stop rounding the class in front of Y/N who was again, back to her normal self, her focus never leaving the Teacher. He stares at her, looking past her eyes and seeing that his student’s consciousness is back before trudging towards Harry and Ron.

“10 points from Gryffindor,” he grunted under his breath, which actually is the first compliment Harry has ever received from the elder man.

Classes ended and dinner came, Harry finds himself staring at the girl in front of him. She was talking to Seamus, one of their good friends, chatting and laughing with him as if he'd said the funniest joke ever told. The food on his plate has long been forgotten.

"Quit staring, you creep."

Harry looks back at his best friend beside him with a mixture of confusion. "Don't tell me you think I wouldn't notice."

What the boy was talking about, he has no idea.

"When will you tell Y/N?" Again, he replied with a look. "About the incident, of course."

Harry wasn't planning on ending his friendship with Y/N because of his carelessness. He could've just sealed the cookies in a jar or box so no one could see it, but no. He had to display it for the world to see. Hermione disagrees with his plan, of course.

The three of them found the perfect time to be alone in the common room, students are still chatting and scampering about their day anywhere but their dorms. So they decided then, to tell Y/N what happened.

"So that's why I felt bad. Isn't that the after-effects of Amortentia?"

Three heads nodded in front of her, studying her features.

"Well, I'm glad it was you, Harry. Could you imagine if it was Ron?" Y/N visibly grimacing at the thought. "But to be honest, it was all my fault. I should've asked you first before eating it. Thank you for being honest with me, Harry."

It wasn’t really what the boy was expecting as a response. He was anticipating more anger or embarrassment from the girl.

Their usual cycle is back. Y/N was completely Y/N Y/L/N again it's as if nothing happened. The four of them never mentioned the incident again and Harry catches himself being disturbed with that. It made him feel some things like shouldn’t Y/N be shy around me? Or shouldn’t Ron tease us still about what happened? Or shouldn’t Hermione lecture us and watch over us more to not repeat the incident again? These thoughts run through his head as every day passes.

He also catches himself getting extra angrier at the Hufflepuff boy, Y/N’s crushing about, every time they have a Quidditch tournament. Especially that time when she barges in the Common Room pretty loudly yelling at everyone that she got a date with the cute Hufflepuff.

“Y/N can you help me find a good present for Mrs Weasley’s birthday on our next Hogsmeade trip?” He tried, one Friday morning, to get in between them.

“Of course, Harry! But, can we do it after my date?“

“Right . . . you have a date.” Sounding a tad bit more disappointed than he really is.

“But,” Y/N responded with the syllable dragging along “I could tell him to go on the next visit instead and spend the day with my best friend?”

“Oh no, I don’t want you to cancel your date because of me.”

“Harry, I could even cancel my Charms class, Godric knows how much I love that class but, that’s beside the point. What I’m saying is that I’m here for you. Also, we’ve barely hung out anymore ever since you’ve been the, what does Ron call it, ah, the Potions master!”

“Not you too!” he playfully grunted all too loudly earning a laugh from the girl.

"Seriously, I would love to come with you.”

He never thought he'd say this but he misses Y/N. His Y/N, who cannot keep her hands to herself but Harry’s.

And before he could stop himself from getting deeper into his thoughts, he was left astounded. To his knowledge, all feelings he has for his best friend are only platonic but here he is, couldn't stop himself from the thoughts of Y/N. The way she used to have her focus engraved to the boy alone and him alone. It gives him so much angst every time Y/N hasn't given him enough attention for the day.

If this stupid Amortentia incident leads him into any feelings he'd be in deep shit.

Because Harry should not be bothered to get distracted. Quidditch season is starting, he's got new people relying upon his captainship. Besides Y/N has her eyes on someone else and he cannot risk losing their friendship knowing his feelings aren't being reciprocated.

Well there it is, he's already in deep shit.

So when their first game arrived playing against Slytherin, he is rather surprised to see Ron winning them a high rank.

He knows he deserved the glory that's why as the captain of the team, he let them have the post quidditch game party in their common room. The parties were usually lead by the twins, but knowing they're already gone, he didn't know that his fellow housemates apprehended their festivities.

"Weasley! Weasley!"

They watch as Ron finally gets recognition for his own efforts alone. Y/N was nowhere to be found, probably with her new boyfriend, and Hermione was shattered when Lavender Brown smothered Ron with kisses.

The two are in a random staircase trying to comfort one another. He doesn't know who needs more comforting, Hermione or him. Knowing he already lost someone who's never his also shattered his heart.

"How does it feel, Harry? When you see Y/N with another guy?"

To say that he's dumbfounded was an understatement. He couldn't be that careless with his so-called feelings now, is he?

"I know. I see the way you look at her. You two are my best friend."

He dreaded this conversation happening. The Golden Boy has never intended on developing feelings toward his friend. Unlike Hermione and Ron, the two have been having this romantical tension ever since their first year. His feelings toward Y/N is purely conjured by an incident they never dared to speak about. The boy believes that these stupid feelings of him will only break their friendship and Harry's not risking that.

"Why don't you try something?" Hermione is always the one they go to whenever they need help and whenever they're clueless about the next step. But this, this advice of hers is definitely one Harry's scared to listen to. "Hufflepuff boy is still not making any moves yet. You know, you're valid to think about yourself too. You've always thought about the others, you always prioritize us before yourself. You deserve to live too, Harry."

So Harry did listen.

In the Great Hall, he confided himself to sit beside Y/N all the time. Hermione doesn't mind the changes in their seating arrangement as she gets to sit with Ron anyway, so candidly speaking, it is a win-win situation for everybody.

He starts small, playfully feeding her (the way she used to), talking and listening to her talk about life in general. When they were walking towards their class, he would always offer to carry her bag, in which he never really waits for her response. Intermittently inviting her to do homework by the lake alone together. And every time they have Hogsmeade visits, he would buy her sweets at Honeydukes.

And Y/N notices. It didn't really take her long before she sees. She has convinced Hermione one night to tell her of her doings that day she was under Amortentia. Harry's new behaviour towards her has perfectly mirrored the story Hermione has told her.

Little did Harry know, the feelings eventually have been mutuals.

So when the Golden Boy was informed of this Christmas Party Professor Slughorn has assembled, he didn't hesitate to ask Y/N in an instant, too afraid that Yule Ball night might happen again. He was, for once, too grateful to be part of the Slug Club as Hufflepuff Boy was not part of it. Now that just minimizes his crush problem.

He has seen her in a ball gown back in their fourth year for their Yule Ball. But he never got the chance to be the one standing beside her throughout the night but now, tonight, he feels like the luckiest man.

Standing on the top of the stairway from the girls' dorm room was his best friend he never had feelings before until this year. She wasn't wearing the grandest of gown there is but this simple dress enhanced her features. She was walking down the stairs with a smile that gave a huge impact on how she looks. She was literally glowing.

"Hi."

"Y/N," he breathed, completely in awe of what feelings do to people.

He always sees Y/N every day, talks to her and laughs with her. She sees her perfectly like what normal best friends do. But after developing feelings for her, his mind is persuaded that she was the most beautiful person that walked on the planet.

Harry is infatuated. He felt as if he was under some spell. Is this how Y/N sees him, all those times she was under the love potion?

But Harry was sure, a hundred per cent, that this is not artificial feelings. He really likes her.

So after a very successful Christmas date, with Hermione being their third wheel, the two were back from being hip to hip. Harry was glad his Y/N is back. He's been wearing the pride of not having to use a love potion to get her back beside him. Because this time, Harry did not create an artificial love to make the girl he likes, like him back. This time, he did it right. He just needed to wait for the right time and place to ask her.

Christmas has passed and Harry's time is also running fast. Of course, his special assignment with Dumbledore has never left his mind. He would do the subtle talks with Professor Slughorn here and there. He felt as if he's running out of ideas to get what he needed and to make things worse, the Potions Master is already growing annoyed with him.

"Still no luck with Slughorn, then, I take it?"

"Luck . . . That's it. All I need's a bit of luck."

That evening, Harry was away the whole time. He missed dinner but Y/N waited on him in the common room. She knows that the Felix Felicis potion has no limits. Whatever the user's deepest desires, it will help give it to them. Y/N knows that at this very moment, Harry succeeded. She makes sure that there will be someone waiting on him to celebrate it with him.

Harry came back from the Headmaster's office bearing a report about Slughorn's memory with Tom Riddle. There, in the Gryffindor Common Room, he sees her sleeping in one of the tables far back. It was not hard to see her, with the time obviously past bedtime, she was all alone.

With the liquid luck still pumping in his veins, he rushed to her. Kneeling in front of her, the Golden Boy then gently wakes the girl up.

"Harry?"

"Y/N . . . I think I'm falling"

"Falling? What falling? Are you experiencing vertigo right now? Anxiety?"

"Worse than those."

And Y/N, moving on from her sleeping state, was now fully aware of where the conversation was going. She holds his inviting hand. "What is it, Harry?"

"Love . . . I'm falling in love."

Y/N smiles at how adorable the boy is looking right now. His hair is ever so dishevelled and his lips as red as cherry. He was the most oblivious boy she knows. Has only dated one yet here he is, kneeling in front of her. Confessing.

She knows that Felix is helping him with some luck because knowing the sober Harry, he would never be bold enough to say such things. Little did Harry know, he need not some luck as she was all too blessed to have him in her life. Because to Y/N's honest opinion, in this room, she was the luckiest.

"I'm falling in love with you, Y/N."

—

(Shamefully) tagging these amazing ppl: @harryjamespotterxreader @harrypotterxx @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

659 notes · View notes

heyheyloki · 4 years ago

Text

U&I

Summary: The reader begins to realize his feelings for Saiki.

Saiki x M!Reader

Word Count: 8711

1. The Best Friends

Being friends with a psychic definitely had its ups and downs. At first, you didn’t notice a thing out of the ordinary with Saiki, well, granted you were kids when the both of you met so naturally you just wanted to be friends and thought nothing more. However, he noticed something odd with you the moment you two met.

He couldn’t read your mind.

Actually forget being about to read your mind, none of his psychic abilities worked on you. He couldn’t see through you and when he touched you without his super thin transparent gloves on nothing happened. You were basically immune to him.

At first, he thought something was wrong with you, or that maybe you had some psychic powers as well. That wasn’t the case at all. In reality, you were a normal human without any powers or tricks. That stumped Saiki even more, but it also became the soul reason he wanted to be your friend as well.

For one, he didn’t have to deal with your thoughts. Two, his image of you wasn’t ruined because he can’t see under your skin. Three, your calmer personality made him relax. And of course all those other things like your kindness and stuff, but those were irrelevant the moment he knew he couldn’t read your mind.

It’s been years since he met you in the park during recess, and now here you guys were, 16 years later and still friends. Oh, there was one thing that bothered him about you.

“What to hang out today?” You asked as you slung your bag over your shoulder.

“Sure.” Saiki said. Yep. That’s right, since he can’t get in your mind, he actually has to move his mouth when he talks to you.

It was a bit weird to others that he never did it with anyone else other than you, but he didn’t care.

On the way home he couldn’t help but notice you eyeing his antennas, the things that keep his powers stable. He turned his head towards you and gave you a curiosity look.

“Do those things poke at your head at all?” You asked, moving you hand up to poke at the top of the pink ball. “Like, does it make your head ichy?”

Saiki shook his head. He knew he had to talk to you at some points, but times like these he didn’t. He enjoyed that about you too, that you don’t force him to talk all the time. You knew it was a bit weird for him to talk, he explained it to you when he told you all about his powers.

“Hm,” you hummed out. Your hands going back at your side and into your pant pockets. “It would for me, if I was you. They just look painful, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do if you don’t wanna blow up the world.”

Saiki nodded his head, his eyes continuing to linger on you. It was one days like these when he saw you thinking so hard about something that he wished he could just take a peak. At some points, he loved the silence, especially when the both of you were watching movies, but right now, especially in this moment, he’d give anything to know. It was mostly prominent when he’d stare at you during class and you’d have this far out look in your orbs, you drew him in, and perhaps that’s why he fell for you.

Though, there were other factors that won his favor. Mostly the fact that, unlike everyone else, he can’t stare right through you and just see your raw muscles and pumping organs. Instead, he was able to focus on your handsome face and not get side tracked about your racing thoughts. You were the only person in the world that make him feel somewhat normal. That was a love-hate relationship at times.

“Think I could sleep over tonight?” You suddenly asked, “we don’t have school tomorrow.”

Saiki stared at you for a moment just to relish in that fact that nothing worked on you. No telekinesis, mind control, no nothing. He was going to have to win your favor just like everyone else. To him, it wasn’t normal, but looking at you, he didn’t seem to mind the extra work.

“Sure,” Saiki said. He still had trouble talking aloud, hell, sometimes he will actually use telekinesis and wait for your response only to have pure silence. “My parents are leaving for a wedding, so the house should be free for a while.”

When the two of you got to Saiki’s house, it was a bit peaceful until his parents had to head out. You liked his mom and dad a lot, they were like your second family, so you wanted to wish them a good time. It was for one Saiki’s dad’s coworkers.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us?” Saiki’s dad asked his son. “You’ve met Kirishima before, and you can bring [Name] as your plus one date.”

You knew Saiki wasn’t going to be interested in a wedding. He always told you normal happy events for others is misery for him since he can hear the jealousy and pity that the crowd is thinking. You felt sorry that he couldn’t turn it off, but you were glad that you were the only person he could catch a break with. However, when you looking over at Saiki, he seemed to entertain the thought.

It was a new side to Saiki, one that made you confused. It was always either you or no one. You could tell the way he wanted to get away from many of the people in his class that seemed to have declared themselves his friends from a small interaction. Sure, you felt their interest, but it was just a bit sad to you that Saiki could never actually enjoy friends unless they were pure. Otherwise, he could hear all the backstabbing thoughts or otherwise stupid comments that go around in their brain that was thought to be private to them.

“I’m going to have to pass,” you commented. “I don’t have a suit, besides, you two should enjoy the night. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you both go out alone.”

Saiki’s mom smiled widely at you. Her eyes clouding over with a wet film before wrapping her arms around you for a tight hug. “Ah, thank you, [Name]! What would we do without you?”

You chuckled softy at the comment before saying, “Who knows, I rather not think about that.”

When she finally let you go, you and Saiki waved the both of them off as they left. Honestly, you weren’t sure if they’d even make it back at a reasonable time. It was a wedding, after all. Oh well, as long as they make it back drunk and safe rather than drunk and not safe, you didn’t mind. You were sleeping over anyway, so right now, you just wanted to hang out with your childhood best friend.

“What do you wanna do?” You asked with a calming tone.

Saiki turned his head to you. “TV?”

“Sure,” you smiled. However, as soon as you turned to the living room, you noticed the absolute mess his parents left behind. So, out of the goodness of your heart, you said, “How about you find something and all clean up this in the meantime. Sound good?”

Saiki nodded once more. He truly thought your actions were kind, but he rather have you watching TV with him than picking up his dad’s dirty clothes. He knew his father tended to be sloppy, but this was just a mess.

As you were about to pick up a pair of jeans, all the clothes that were strewn about the floor suddenly started to float in the air and shoot into the open washing machine. The trash floated itself into the garage while everything else was moved around to make it look clean until otherwise.

You pressed your lips together as your brows furrowed in annoyance. Once you turned to Saiki and saw his innocence face, you knew you couldn’t be angry but you had to ask, “Do you really want me to watch TV with you that bad?”

“Yes,” Saiki stated.

You sighed, your lips parting as you left the oxygen leave your lungs. “Fine, but let’s both clean up a bit before than. It’ll be a nice surprise and a way to thank your parents for letting me stay the night.”

Saiki nodded. “Okay.”

It took a bit of convincing on your end to let him let you help out. You may not have powers, but you didn’t want to take advantage of his. You knew it was effortless and he made it seem like it didn’t affect him whatsoever, but you knew every time he does something it takes a toll. His powers aren’t perfect.

You both ended up cleaning the living room, Saiki’s room, and now you were in the kitchen sorting the trash. Saiki was using his powers to sort while you whipped down the countertops.

“Good grief,” Saiki said aloud, his voice drawing your eyes to him. He was crouched down with two bags in front of him and the garage floating upside down, it’s contents was either going in the first or second bag.

“What?” You asked curiosity. It wasn’t all the time that he speaks from his mouth without you talking first.

“How could anyone have let it get this dirty in here?” He asked aloud. “I mean, really it’s a wonder we don’t have bugs.”

You were going to respond. That was until he suddenly shut his mouth, a chest deep grunt leaving him as you notice him stare at something on the furniture next to him.

It was a cockroach.

Mind you, the moment you realized what it was you weren’t the least bit surprised when he suddenly teleported. Saiki hates bugs. He could read the minds of humans, as well as animals, but he couldn’t with bugs. He thought they were small minded icky things. Hell, he couldn’t even let his powers touch the thing.

You counted down the seconds before he came back. It was around ten, maybe fifteen. He also teleported right behind you.

“Welcome back,” you greeted and watched as his eyes dart towards the floor.

“Sorry, I may have overreacted.” He muttered. “I just hate them.”

“I know,” you hummed out before looking around and grabbing a cup and piece of paper. Saiki watched you as you let the roach crawl on the piece of paper before placing the cup over it so it didn’t run away. You were quick to put it outside and close the window after so Saiki didn’t worry about it coming back in.

“All gone,” you cheered with a smile. “Now, let’s watch TV, ya?”

2. Saiki’s Pushy Friends

PK Academy was a school were many different personalities and people collided. It was always fun to meet new people in this school, yet on the other side of the coin, sometimes they were more than a little odd. Not like you can speak, your best friend was a psychic. Though, he wasn’t delusional like this one guy in your class that declared himself Saiki’s friend. His name was Kaido. He thinks he has powers and has an evil organization following him around.

Then, you have Nendou. Basically, he’s stupid. Not that you minded, but sometimes being stupid isn’t the best thing in the world, especially now.

It was the sports festival at PK and Saiki and you had to participate in it. You both were on the same team since all the teams were decided by class. This also gave you a good idea of the friends Saiki has made. It was safe to say that Kaido was growing on you. You felt a little bad for the guy, what can you say.

Let’s not forget about Hairo as well. You knew him a bit more from hearsay than the others, plus he was class rep. Though, you had to say, he was a little too overly enthusiastic.

It was kind of a surprise to see Teruhashi, the most popular girl in school, try and interact with Saiki. Though, it was a bit amusing since to him, she’s nothing more than walking muscle. However, you did think he would swoon over her like all the other guys in your school if she was like you. However, you knew Saiki had no interest in romance so you don’t care either way.

Finally, Nendou. You were originally going to say that you didn’t mind the guy that much and thought maybe he would be a good thing for Saiki. However, after just watching him take out one of the antennas from Saiki’s head, you started to wonder how much of a danger his stupidity is to Saiki.

You watched that pink haired friend of yours collapse to the ground with a hard thud as soon as Nendou pull the thing out of his head. You were quick to rush over to him and sit by his side. When you flipped him over, since he fell face forward, worry grew about your body and infected your bloodstream.

You heard protests about turning him over, but at this point all the worried voices drowned before they were even audible to you. His lips were parted as drool leaked from his mouth and went down his chin, his eyes dead and without life as darkness surrounded them. It didn’t take you long to recover and swipe the antenna Nendou was holding and pop it back in its rightful place in his pink locks.

You didn’t know how long it would take for him to wake up, or if he’d wake up at all. All you knew was to sit and wait for him to wake up. To your surprise, he woke up rather quickly. Maybe a mere minute or so after you fixed him up. When his eyes opened, you felt yourself suddenly get surrounded as Saiki’s friends crowed over him to ask how he was.

You noticed him using telepathy to talk to everyone when Hairo said, “You passed out after Nendou took that think out of your head, lucky for you, [Name] put it back right away!”

“Yeah, he saved your life!” Kaido spit out next, their hands placing on my shoulder out of respect and gratitude.

Saiki’s eye then direct to you, his voice never leaving his lips for a moment before you noticed him flinch.

‘Ah,’ you thought. ‘He tried to use telepathy with me again.’

When he noticed, Saiki just nodded in your direction. You knew he was thanking you, he didn’t need to word it out to you. The look in his eyes was enough.

Lunch came immediately after Saiki ended up waking up, and it was understatement to say he didn’t want to be bother with anyone else besides you. He was quick to drag you to the roof of the school to eat.

The both of you sat against the railing, lunch in your laps. You wanted I just forget about the scare that Saiki gave you, but the after effects he was having wasn’t making that easy. He was having trouble, and it was easy to see when his hands were shaking so much that he couldn’t even pick up his food without it falling back in the box.

You side eyed him, his expression one of concentration as he tried to pick up his food again. Though, he dropped it again.

He sighed quickly after that, only looking down at his food as you saw his mind wonder off.

Once you finished chewing whatever food you had in your mouth, you placed your food to the side and moved so that you weren’t side to side, but rather across from Saiki’s body now. He didn’t register your movements until he saw a hand come into his view and pick up an item of food with his chopsticks.

When he turned to you, you had the chopsticks in your dominant hand and your other under the food so it didn’t drop to the filthy ground.

“C’mon, lemme help,” you said. It was easy for Saiki to pick up the worry in your tone, however he knew not to address it or else you’ll just either deny it or baby him. “Open up.”

He obeyed your command after a moment, opening his mouth wide enough for you to place his food in his mouth. The hand that was meant to catch the food if it fell made sure Saiki closed his mouth, his fingers placed a bit of pressure under his chin to shut his jaws before slowly trailing away. The food wasn’t nearly as satisfying as the chill that ran down his spine at your lingering touch that crawled on his skin.

“I could hurt you.” He suddenly spit out. It was pained. “Having my antenna taken out messed up my powers.”

You leaned your head to the side, your eyes never falling from his. “Yeah, I kinda figured.”

“You should go.” He stated.

“Why?”

“I just told you.”

You smiled. “Saiki, you could never hurt me.”

He looked at you like you had something stuck in your teeth. “You don’t know that, I may not be able to read your mind, but I don’t know how my other powers react to you.”

You remained quiet for a moment before shuffling your body side by side again, your head falling to rest of Saiki’s shoulder. You felt him flinch at the contact, his muscles even began to tighten just out of fear.

“Yanno,” you started out saying, your hand coming up to play the antenna that you could reach. “It’s odd to me how these things are the only thing keeping you stable.”

“Is it?”

You chuckled and nodded. “Small things like these verses your powers. The thing that gets me is that these things actually win in that fight. Though, I suppose it does complete the look you have.”

“And what look is that?” Saiki asked as he gazed down at you to see your eyes already on him. He could feel his fingers twitch as he watched you say shamelessly, “The cute, mysterious loner type.”

Saiki’s lips parted as he gazed at you. He quickly recomposed himself when he noticed you waiting patiently for him to respond. He sighed before asking, “Mysterious loner? Where’d you get that?”

You laughed before sarcastically questioning, “yep, I wonder where.”

3. Your friends are my friends

You don’t know how you got wrapped into this, but perhaps it’ll allow you to know Saiki’s friends better.

Currently, you were walking with Kaido, Nendou, and Saiki to a good ramen shop Nendou suggested. You were dragged along when Nendou remembered you from the Sports Festival and as Saiki’s friend. They never really got the chance to speak to you since you’re usually out the door as soon as the bell rings, but today they finally caught you.

At some point Teruhashi joined the group, though you feel like she kinda took over since now the boys, except for Saiki and you, were fawning over her. Saiki and you took it upon yourselves to give them all room to talk to her, so you both sorts trailed behind.

It was silent for a while, the only noise was Nendou or Kaido talking to Teruhashi. However, you caught the, “what does that even mean,” that Saiki mumbled under his breath.

“Hm?” You hummed. “What does what mean?”

It was obvious to you he didn’t realize he said that aloud. But he just seemed to be glad that only you heard that.

“Teruhashi wants me to go ‘oh wow’ or something to her.” Saiki revealed. “I don’t even know what that means.”

You kept your gaze on Saiki for a moment. “So, she likes you?”

“I guess,” he muttered. “I think it’s more that I’m the only guy that isn’t kissing her feet.”

You watched Teruhashi interact with Nendou and Kaido. You know that, normally, she wouldn’t take time to hang out with these guys. However, because of her crush on Saiki, she bares with them. In all honesty, she seems a bit perfect. Being able to deal with them just for the person she adores. It’s easy for anyone to do, and not a lot of people would even bother.

“She seems like a good fit for you.” You suddenly uttered out.

When Saiki heard that, he felt his hands twitch. He didn’t like that, not one bit. What irked him the most was that it seemed natural, like you actually meant it. And, of course, he had no way of knowing if those words were genuine or actually forced.

“No way,” Saiki stated coldly. “Never in a million years.”

“Damn, that’s cold, Saiki.” He heard you say, a teasing tone wedged in your voice.

“Why do you keep calling me Saiki, anyway? We aren’t acquaintances.”

“Hm?” You questioned. “I thought you don’t like me calling you by your first name in public?”

Saiki sighed. “Well now I’m telling you I don’t care.”

Saiki knew this way of showing that you were closer to him than anyone would ever be may have been childish on his part, but when he heard his first name come from your lips in front of his other ‘friends’, he felt more than satisfied.

4. Friendship Can Bring Romance

Being able to rest during class was one of your guilty pleasures. Even if you got called out by your teacher, you didn’t mind. It was better when it was raining outside, the patter of rain when it hit the window made you want to nap.

“Hey,” a voice called out to you. You didn’t listen though, it wasn’t important.

“Hey, [Name],” it called out again. Okay, maybe you should wake up. Then again, sleep. You could always sleep later though.

You fluttered your eyes open as you felt your body being pushed around. When your sight became focused, the blurry figure in front of you showed a blue hair kid. You knew him, but from where?

“Saiki asked me to wake you up, sorry,” he confessed.

Oh, right. That’s Kaido, Saiki’s friend.

“Hm? Where is Kusuo?” You asked in a groggy voice, your hand coming up to wipe your eyes.

“Oh, he went home.” Kaido informed you. “Something just came up, I guess.”

“Alright,” you hummed before the end of your lips pulled upward. “Thank you, Kaido.”

It wasn’t easy for Kaido to wake up the quiet kid. Kaido only met the guy once or twice, and when he was hanging with him, you only stayed close to Saiki. It was kinda odd, but Kaido understood your attachment to the pink haired man. Saiki was Kaido’s first friend, after all, so he knew how awesome the guy was.

Though, he’s never got the chance to speak to you. He knows Saiki never really goes anywhere with you, and somehow you always end up by his side. He just always seemed to miss you when it came to getting the chance to introduce himself so Kaido was pretty glad when you came along the trip to that ramen place, even if it was a dumb and he got distracted by Teruhashi.

Kaido knew you were the closest person to Saiki. He’s pretty sure that not even Nendou is as close to Saiki as you are. And those two are best friends. Kaido didn’t know the extend of how long you two have been friends, but he does know from watching that Saiki has respect for you. So, it was critical that he makes a great impression with you so that he can become closer to Saiki and maybe you as well.

“S-Sure, no problem!” He stuttered, his bandaged hand retracting from your shoulder and holding them up in the air in a surrendered notion.

“Do you live around here at all? I’ll walk you home as a thank you.” You said as you stood from your seat and began to search for your bag.

“What? You don’t have to do that, really, it isn’t necessary!” Kaido spit out quickly, his words jumping all over the place.

“It’s really no trouble at all,” you stated as you put your bag over your shoulder. “C’mon, let’s get going before the rain gets worse.”

The rain eventually stopped when both teens got closer to your house. Kaido’s was further ahead, so he thought it would be better if he just walked you home instead so you didn’t have to walk more than you have to already.

“So, you’ve been friends with Saiki since he was little, huh?” Kaido asked as you explained why Saiki trusts you so much. “That’s pretty awesome! What was he like back then?”

“Pretty much the same.” You answered. “Though he did get more handsome throughout the years, and he used to be kinda sweet. Now, not so much.”

“I see, so you guys have been through it all together.” Kaido replied.

“Basically, though, he did start to worry me a bit since I was his only friend for a really long time,” you confessed. You paused as you looked up at Kaido and gave him a smile, “But I’m glad he finally made a friend like you.”

Kaido could feel his heart beat a million miles an hour just at the words you strung together. He never heard kinder words than those, and he was even more thrilled that he succeeded in making a good impression on Saiki’s childhood friend!

“It’s, uh, n-no problem, really!” Kaido muttered out as his whole face began to fluster, his hands going everywhere.

“Oh,” you hummed out.

“Hm?” Kaido questioned. His nerves going down. “What is it?”

“Did you know you were dragging your scarf the whole time?” You asked curiosity as your hands started to real in the extra fabric.

“What?” He asked out of pure shock. Though, realizing that he doesn’t make a fool out of himself he said, “O-Of course I did! It’s a fashion choice.”

“Not the best one,” you stated as you stepped closer to the blue haired male.

Kaido’s eyes widened as he stated directly into your colored orbs, watching them dance solely for him. It was like getting attention from a loved one, but this attention make him nervous to the point where he thought his face was going to explode with red. Kaido’s lips slowly started to disappear as the scarf started to build up around his shoulders and neck.

“There you go,” you said, “much better. Now your scarf doesn’t get more dirty and you look even better.”

‘Even better? What’s that supposed to mean? Does it.. does it mean he thought I looked good before?!’ Kaido thought.

Kaido let out an awkward laugh as he played with the end of the scarf. “O-Oh, haha, thank you.”

“Sure,” you hummed. “Now let’s get going.”

5. Blessing Turned On Jealousy

What’s that saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend? Yeah, that’s it. See, that could apply to this yet at the same time it would go a little different.

More like, the enemy of my best friend is my friend. At least for your situation. You see, walking home with Saiki has now turned into walking home with Saiki, Nendou, and Kaido. Not that you mind, but sometimes you really do wish it was back to when Saiki and you got to spend time alone together. However, being friends with Saiki and then having his friends automatically become your friends may have some perks.

Like now. Bumping into Kaido’s mom was totally accidental. But, in the end it payed off. Why?

Because coffee jelly.

“I know it’s not easy being friends with my son because he’s so shy, but please be patient.” Kaido’s mom announced as she placed the coffee jelly down in front of Saiki and you.

“Please don’t say that mama—I mean—mother.” Kaido pleased, his voice cracking as it got higher with embarrassment.

Overall, the beginning was a very nice. Hell, it was damn near perfect. Although, you just had to snoop around. Well, it was more like exploring Kaido’s room.

Your fingertips brushed along the spines of the many books Kaido had stacked up in his bookcase. It was seriously amazing how many books he had, he even had some original copies of some famous old books.

“This is pretty awesome,” you muttered to yourself before your eyes spotted something that didn’t quite match with the others. In all honesty, you were simply curious. However, curiosity did kill the cat. In your case, more like awakened the Saiki K.

“Hey, Kaido, what is the Jet Black Wings?” You asked aloud as the group sat down eating whatever snacks were about. You would always hear either chewing or at least some conversation, but after that question left your mouth it was dead silent. You felt like you killed something, but when you looked over you noticed Kaido’s face beat red. Seriously, his entire face was as red as a blood moon.

“P-Put that back!” He stuttered out, the blue haired boy suddenly running up to you to snatch the book from your hand.

As he reached for it, you held it higher. Even if he was about the same height or maybe a inch or so taller, you just needed to make him miss his hand from grabbing it.

“Don’t be embarrassed, I’m just curious.” You calmly said. “Is it bad or something?”

“N-No! It’s nothing, uh, bad! Just give me it back!” Kaido begged this time around, his hands trying desperately to grab it from you. Okay, maybe you were being a little mean at this point, but it was kinda fun to tease him.

You began to back up as Kaido trying to nab the book in your hand. “Just explain it!”

“No! Never!” He shouted.

You couldn’t help but laugh a little, though, that was your fatal mistake. Having yourself distracted by your own humor, your mind didn’t take into account the pile of prep books scattered about until it was too late. You quickly lost your voice, as well as your balance before slamming your head hard against the wood floors.

“Woah! You guys okay?” Nendou asked out of genuine concern.

As much as you would have liked to answer him, you were too concerned with the pain pounding into your skull like a jackhammer. Seriously, this is gonna give you one massive headache.

You scrunched your nose as your finally gave effort to open your eyes, though, they permanently remained open when you noticed a face staring down at you, a body on top of yours. You guessed that during the fall Kaido tried to save you, but only got dragged along instead.

“H-Hey, um, are you okay?” He asked under his shaky breath.

You only nodded before trying to avoid his gaze in any possible way. The position you were in didn’t help whatsoever in that department. Instead, you hoped that Kaido would take the hint and get off. That plan wasn’t looking too good cause all that was running through his mind was how you looked under him. Let’s say, the thoughts he had left a distaste in Saiki’s mouth.

Originally, he was just gonna let you handle it, but after hearing Kaido’s perverted thoughts about you, that plan blew up.

Saiki stood up, leaving his coffee jelly half eaten before grabbing Kaido by the back of his shirt and yanking him off of you. Saiki gave some strength into that but not enough to launch him into the bookshelf like he wanted too. He knelt down to come to your level and help you up, your massive headache being noticeable when you held onto the back of your head.

“Damnit, that really hurt,” you muttered to yourself but Saiki heard it clear as day.

It wasn’t long after that he took you home as well as the left over coffee jelly. Saiki advised you to stay home a day just to let the pain die down a bit before going back to school, so, the pink haired boy was all alone today. And all alone to everyone else meant to bother him more than usual.

Teruhashi, Nendou, Hairo. All of them. Though, it was a bit weird that Kaido wasn’t bothering with him today. Not that he was complaining, but he couldn’t pinpoint the answer until he heard Kaido’s thoughts, ‘I need to ask Saiki for permission. They’re best friends, it would be rude if I didn’t ask permission to ask out [Name].’

Never mind. He didn’t need to know that.

It was around lunch time that Kaido walked up to Saiki for the first one, the blush that littered his cheeks made Saiki want to gag for a moment.

“So, uh, Saiki, I have to ask you something.” Kaido uttered out lowly. Clearly, this was nerve wracking for him.

“What is it?” Saiki asked telepathically.

“Well, it’s about [Name], yanno, our [Name]?”

‘What other person has that name?’ Saiki thought. ‘And don’t say our, it’s creepy.’

“You see, I, well, I think I like him and I’d like your blessing to ask him out!” Kaido shouted, his body bowing at an almost 90 degree angle.

Normally, Saiki would just say to do whatever since he could read [Name]’s thoughts and see that he doesn’t like Kaido in that way. However, the one person in the world that Saiki actually wants is immune to his powers. He knew he needed to shut this down fast.

‘No way.’ Saiki responded.

“Thank you so much, Saiki, you won’t—wait—why not?” Kaido asked aloud, his voice getting higher the more he freaked out. He thought this would be easy, he means, it was Saiki. The most chill guy ever actually gave him a hard ‘no’ to asking out his best friend. Kaido shouldn’t be surprised, even though he is.

‘Because I said so,’ Saiki strictly put. He knew it was wrong to say this, who was he to say no to something that isn’t his business. Though, the feeling of relief that he still had a chance was more satisfying in the end.

By the time Saiki got to your house it was basically as soon as school ended. He used teleportation to get here as fast as he could, as well as just appear in your room. He wasn’t expecting you to still be asleep, though, he supposed this wasn’t too bad.

The pink haired male carefully walking up to the bedside of his best friend. It was odd to see your hair going in one direction instead of all over the place like normal, and don’t even get him started on the soft snores that came from your nose. Snoring isn’t usually the most attractive thing in the world, but this light snores from you made him think of the habit as cute.

Now, he would normally wake you up. But, just allowing himself to look at you for a moment longer without any consequences never hurt anybody. Saiki sat himself down on your floor, his eyes keeping to your closed ones as they slowly began to travel down to your lips. He doesn’t know what came over him, but it seriously began to freak him out when he started think about Kaido touching his lips with yours. After the freak out, jealousy was spiraling around in the psychic. He never knew that Kaido, of all people, would actually develop romantic feelings for you. If he did, he would have never allowed the both of you to interact the way you did at his house the other day.

Saiki let out a sigh before standing up once more, his hand came up to your shoulder slowly and began to shake it. It wasn’t long after that your eyes fluttered open and gave him that soft smile that caused his heart to skip a beat.

6. School Trip

The school trip was always the most looked forward to activity in high school. This year it was a three day trip to Okinawa. While you were excited to spend some time at a gorgeous place like Okinawa, Saiki was definitely less excited.

As kids talked with their friends in a group or just at their desks, you were currently sitting on top of Saiki’s desk with the pink haired boy sitting in the chair. This wasn’t something you always do, especially since at times Saiki has pushed you off out of retaliation, but after a moment or two of still being there, you knew he didn’t mind today.

“You excited?” You asked him.

“No. I don’t get the appeal.” He spit out, his eyes closing as he moved his head down. “I could get to Okinawa in three minutes.”

“Kusuo, not everyone is like you.” You explained. “So don’t go getting moody on this trip, I’m not letting you ruin it for me.”

“I won’t, I’m just saying a fact.” He replied.

You were about to continue with things you’re excited to do during the trip before Hairo came around to the both of you with a clip board in hand. He was responsible for dividing rooms.

“Saiki, [Name], did you guys decide on your group for the class trip?” He asked politely. “You should have three boys and three girls in your group.”

Saiki didn’t say anything, instead he just rested his head against your forearm. Perhaps he wanted Hairo to think he fell asleep and leave it to you, or maybe he was actually saying that he didn’t care as long as he was with you. Either way, you smiled at the contact and said to Hairo, “Kusuo and I will be rooming, it doesn’t matter who else is in our group.”

“Okay, great!” Hairo exclaimed as he wrote it down. “Kaido and Nendou are still available so I’ll just place Kaido with your group, and then randomly place you guys with a girls group.”

“Thanks, Hairo,” you hummed out as he walked away to probably inform Kaido about the rooming.

You never minded contact with Saiki, in fact, you sort of enjoyed it. However, seeing him still like this, even with Hario now gone, you worried.

“Hey, Kusuo,” you called out.

No answer.

“Kusuo?” You asked this time. And when he didn’t answer again you unconsciously moved your hand up to his head and moved it back to where you could look him in the eyes. Saiki’s face was still without expression, though, those eyes worried you. He seemed, almost, upset.

“Kusuo?” You asked. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, signaling that nothing was wrong. You knew he was lying.

You tilted your head, some of your hair moving with gravity to expose part of your forehead. “Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not.” He said, his voice was steady and yet, that look in his eyes still bothered you.

You knew he wasn’t going to budge but still, just because you’re going to let it go now doesn’t mean that you weren’t about to keep an eye on him.

Throughout the beginning and the first day of the trip, you kept an eye on Saiki. He seemed way more tired than usual, but that didn’t startle you. Instead, it was how he was by your side more often now when Kaido was around. You weren’t an idiot, it was pretty obvious. You didn’t mind Saiki’s attention, but you didn’t want him to think just because you were friends with Kaido that he’d be put second.

“Kusuo, can we talk?” You asked him as the two of you had the room to yourselves. The others were out and about, but the two of you decided on an early night.

“About what?” He asked as he set up his sleeping area.

“Today.” You started out. “You’ve been acting weird around Kaido. Did something happen?”

You watched Saiki carefully, so carefully that you noticed his fingers lightly curl around the blanket. You didn’t want to push him, so instead of pushing him to speak, you allowed yourself to be silent and let him take his time. You don’t remember how many minutes pasted, but you swear it felt like decades.

“Nothing happened.” He informed you. “His thoughts just aren’t for my taste at the moment.”

“His thoughts?” You questioned as you slowly approached Saiki on his blanket until you were right in front of him. “Okay, then, what’s got you all bothered? Let me guess, he’s thinking dirty things, right?”

“Sort of.” He replied.

“I bet it’s about Teruhashi,” you theorized. “Is that why you don’t like it?”

“No, it’s not about Teruhashi.”

“Really? Then who?”

Saiki went quiet once more.

You sighed. Your head moving down to get a glimpse at his face. It wasn’t until you moved your hand over by his, your finger tips brushing with his accidentally to get more stability as you leaned in did you hear him finally confess.

“It was about you.”

To say that you needed a minute to take that in was an understatement. Kaido was a good guy and all, but it was kinda startling to realize he liked guys, as well as girls, since you didn’t suspect that even for a minute with him.

“Seriously?” You asked once more.

Saiki nodded. “He asked me if he could ask you out.”

“And what did you say?”

“No.”

You couldn’t help a smile crawl upon your face with that one. You knew it was a bit hard to read Saiki, especially when it came to you, but you were just beyond happy to hear that.

“Good,” you suddenly shot out. Saiki’s head moving back up in an instant to see your happy features. “I don’t like Kaido like that anyway, saves me from breaking his heart.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope.” You hummed out. You knew this may backfire on you in more ways than one, but right now, you didn’t care. The happiness you felt told you to take a chance and throw out the bait. “I know you can’t read my mind, but I actually do have someone I like.”

Saiki aimlessly stared at you for a moment and took in the words you confessed to him. It was an odd feeling, the rapid beating of his heart, but perhaps this was finally the start of things going his way for once.

On the second day of the trip, everyone went to Emerald Beach. It was one of the many places were people could stare at others and no one would think anything of it. A perverts dream. Though, for Saiki, he just wanted to hang out with you.

“Where’s [Name]?” Kaido asked Nendou as Saiki stood behind the two.

“He said he had to go buy a swimsuit. The one he brought apparently went missing.” Nendou told the blue haired boy.

Now, that want a mistake. Sure, it may have been a dirty trick but Saiki rather die than see you in the swimsuit you brought. After all, you bought a shirt with it. He knew you didn’t take off your shirt often, even at the beach, but he was determined to see you with just a pair of shorts.

Much like how all the guys that crowded around the girls changing house waited patiently to see Teruhashi in a two piece swim suit.

It was a while after Teruhashi came out, and when everyone was in the water that you made your appearance. You had your hands wedged into your swim shirt pockets as you allowed your feet to take in the hot sand that felt magical between your toes. You gazed around for a moment before noticing pink hair sitting under an umbrella.

A devilish smirk crawled on your features as you began to slowly approach the male. This may give Saiki a heart attack, but it was worth it. As you stood over him from behind, you attacked. Your body shot down as your arms wrapped aruund his neck and pushed your chest into his bare back.

“Hey, what’s a cute guy like you doing all alone at a place like this?” You teased, allowing your voice to go on for some time so that he realized it was just you.

Saiki immediately flinched at the contact before noticing it was just you. However, when he noticed the touch of your skin against his, he could feel his entire body heat up. The sensation was new, he’s felt his face go hot before, but his entire body was a new one.

“What took you so long?” Saiki tried to play off.

You just sighed and got a tighter grip on the male, your chest pushing more into his back. “Someone stole my swimsuit. Sadly, I didn’t have enough money to replace the whole thing, so I had to go by some swim shorts.”

“Hm, as least you’re here.” Saiki stated, making sure not to comment on the ‘stolen swimsuit’.

“Yeah,” you uttered as you released Saiki from your grasp and sat down next to him. You gazed out at the beautiful ocean that was filled with laughing people with this loving look in your eyes, all the while not realizing Saiki’s held that same gaze as he stared at you.

When you did turn to him, he completely lost himself in his mind as his eyes wondered about your figure. You weren’t the most fit guy in the world, but you did have these subtle yet enchanting muscle lines along your upper body that made Saiki lose himself.

“I saw that.” You suddenly said. Saiki’s eyes now darting back to yours. “You just checked me out.”

Saiki saw no way out of this one. So, he just confessed it. “So what if I was?”

In all honesty, he just expected you to laugh and tell him that it’s only fair if he does the same. However, the twist was unexpected and, well, definitely appreciated. He watched as you gazed down, this bashful look in your eyes as you did everything to avoid his gaze. Your body language wasn’t helping either. Your fingers were tapping against the towel and the heel of your foot was moving back and forth.

Maybe this trip wasn’t totally for nothing.

7. All That Was A Secret

Spring break. It was one of those weeks that Saiki went to go visit his grandparents all the way in the middle fo nowhere. So, for the most of this break, you were home alone.

It was kind of boring. This break was definitely not one that you looked forward to, more now then before, especially after the beach during the class trip. Those words always ended up repeating in your mind, way too much then you thought they would. Then again, you shouldn’t be surprised. All those days that you’d try to subtly touch him, tease him, it was just a way to relieve yourself of the pent up emotions you’ve had for him for a few years now.

Currently, you were in your room upon your bed, hugging one of your pillows close to your chest. You never tried to dwell on if Saiki felt the same or not, but recently, it’s been clawing at you more and more. It wasn’t like you didn’t think you had a chance, but more if Saiki was more comfortable just staying friends. You would understand, even if it would hurt, you’d do it for him. You’d do anything for that guy.

You sighed before slowly lifting your body off the bed. Today wasn’t a good day for being sad, it was summer break, after all. You knew you had to get your mind off Saiki, and him being away made it a bit easier. So, you grabbed some clothes from your closet and laid them on the bed. You weren’t sure what you were going to do, but you were determined to fine something to take your mind off him.

You let your pants drop to the ground before taking the ones on your bed and letting your legs slip through each of the pant legs. Next, you stripped your shirt off and took in a deep breath. You paused for a moment before dropping the dirty shirt on the ground and grabbing the new one. In all honestly, you never really pay attention to your surroundings when changing. But, does anyone? It wasn’t until your head went through the hole on the top of the shirt did you realize that the bed in front of you was now missing and the wall you were staring at was not the wall of your bed room. When you turned your head, you locked eyes with Saiki in an unfamiliar room.

“Huh?” You uttered under your breath before your eyes widened, your face felling hotter than usual before frantically pulling your shirt all the way down. Once down, you opened your mouth and said, “You can’t do that without me knowing! What if I was in the middle of a shower or something and not just changing?”

“I would have given you some of my clothes.” He replied nonchalantly.

You bit the inside of your cheek before crossing your arms over your chest. “Why did you teleport me anyway?”

“I can’t stand it here.” Saiki confessed. Of course, you knew he didn’t exactly enjoying visiting his grandparents but he has never done this before. “Just hang out with me. I’ll send you back after.”

You sighed. You can’t exactly say no after that, so, with that Saiki and you began to watch a movie. It wasn’t one you two watched before so it was easy to get lost in it. Though, it was also easy to focus on Saiki when he suddenly placed his hand on top of yours as you guys watched. You weren’t too sure if he thought you wouldn’t notice, but there was no way you were going to pull away. After all, it’s not like he placed his fingers between yours, if he did that, you don’t know if you could handle it.

After a half an hour into the movie you finally got the plot of it, and you weren’t amused at all. It was a best friends to lovers troupe. More specifically, childhood friends that drifted apart only to be brought back together by work and now slowly are developing feelings for one another. Let’s just say now, you were a little more than nervous.

Thank god Saiki couldn’t read your mind, because now, you feel like you’d give him a headache. You couldn’t help but ask yourself if he knows and is only doing this to taunt you, or maybe this was all just a big coincident. Yeah, one massive coincident. In reality though, Saiki was just teasing you. He had no idea of your feelings but he wanted to watch the movie with you to implant the idea in his mind of the possibility.

Well, his plan was working. Maybe a little too much. Though, as you were about to spit something out, your eyes suddenly shot down to the floor in embarrassment. Yep, a make out scene. Of course, Saiki had no idea about that, but it was better than just the sappy stuff cause now it was really ingrained in your head.

Once it was over and you had somewhat of your cool back you couldn’t help it. You needed to ask. If it blew up in flames, then so be it.

“Hey, Saiki,” you uttered out lowly. Saiki caught it immediately and turned his gaze on you. “I have a.. question.”

“What?” He asked.

“Well,” your voice trailed off as you moved your eyes down to where both of your hands connected. “We’ve been best friends for a long time now but, have you ever, um, thought about doing...that?

Saiki remained quiet for a moment, his thoughts going everywhere before thinking to himself, ‘All the time, actually.’

As much as he wish he could have said that telepathically, he could never try to say that vocally. So, he just opted for a nod and watched your body flinch. The hand he touched growing warm.

“You’re hot.” Saiki suddenly spit out. This time, you brought your hand back to your body so he couldn’t tell anymore.

“S-So what?” You stuttered out.

To say that Saiki didn’t like this side of you was an understatement. He’s never never seen you so flustered before, and it was really adorable to look at.

“It’s cute.” Saiki commented, his body leaning in just to see your face closer.

You turned your head to the side, eyes darting to the tv just to look away for a moment to compose yourself. You knew that there wasn’t gonna be another perfect moment like this so, you slowly reached over to place your hand on the back of Saiki’s neck. It was warm. When he noticed what you wanted as you started to lean back and gently pull him with you, he complied quickly until he gazed at you from above. Suddenly, he was jealous at the fact that Kaido got to see this view before him.

He stared at you for a moment before watching you bite down on your bottom lip, his mind doing backflips at the want to read your mind, but also at how good you looked under him.

“Kiss me.” You whispered under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear.

“If I do,” Saiki uttered lowly. “I might not be able to stop.”

“That’s okay.”

#male reader #saiki k #kusou saiki #the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #saiki k x reader #saiki k x male reader #saiki x reader #saiki x male reader #the disastrous life of saiki k.#the disastrous life of Saiki k x reader #x reader #saiki k headcanons

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gingersnappish · 4 years ago

Text

KYLUX RECS 2020-2021

My Kylux Recs in the last year (Aug, 20 2020 - Aug 20 2021)

SO. MUCH. GOOD. FIC!!! We are really lucky in this fandom to have so much good stuff to read!

Fic is part of the lifeblood of fandom, in my opinion-it shares new ideas and AUs and fleshes out the characters and most of all it inspires and entertains us all and engenders all sorts of feels for the characters-it’s part of what keeps us shipping! So a big ‘thank you’ to all the fic authors out there who work so hard at their craft and are generous enough to share it with all of us!

The following list is by no means comprehensive-there are LOTS and lots more very good fics that have been published in the last year that I haven’t read. I just wanted to offer up a few recs from what I know I enjoyed so far! (I also have more than fits on one list to rec-I’ll try and do another list soon!) As always, I rec based on personal taste, and I highly encourage reading all the tags/warnings on any given work to make sure it’ll be to your taste! -

The Flirtation Of Flowers

DaisyChainz

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29771553

Words: 5,917

Rating: Teen

Summary:Kylo runs his farm's stall at the Farmer's Market every weekend. He has a new customer, a gorgeous redhead that is curious about the meanings of his bouquets. Kylo doesn't know anything about that, so he makes stuff up to keep the man coming back every week.

My thoughts on the rec: This is the cutest slice of a modern AU kylux-it really nails Kylo’s personality as a (slightly awkward) flirt who is trying his best and just really likes the redhead who keeps coming to buy flowers. Just a sweet little fic all ‘round!

all i have to do is dream

kyluxtrashcompactor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709426/chapters/44373613

Words: 11,456

Rating: Teen

Summary:Armitage Hux has been going to the same bar every Thursday for the last year, nursing a crush on the gorgeous, unobtainable bartender, Kylo Ren. He finally gets up the courage to ask him out, only to find out he has some unusual competition: the memory of a red-haired boy from Kylo's past, who Kylo swears is the soulmate that got away from him.A fill for this SoftKyluxKinks prompt:Anonymous asked: Benarmie with young Ben (around 11 years old) having a huge crush on Armitage (16). Hux finds it adorable but mostly ignores him because he's a kid. Flash forward a few years when Ben is all grown up and Hux is the one with a huge crush.

My thoughts on the rec: This is another really cute young modern AU! I like the idea that Ren has liked Hux forever, but this deals nicely with the age gap and that Hux really wouldn’t notice Ren back until they are both appropriately older. And they make such a cute couple-it’s a great progression from just ‘he’s hot’-like, there is a lot more to them than that in the end!

Homecoming

sigo

(really, read anything by sigo, it’s all my favorite)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150808

Words: 13,450

Rating: Explicit

Summary:“We’re off the next two weeks, you know.”“Yes, I know.” There was emergency construction scheduled to fix cracking asphalt too near a pipe in the center of campus. The buses couldn’t run, and that phenomenon was the only thing that ever cancelled classes. Halloween was dead center in the unplanned time off school, and every bar within a fifteen mile radius would be untenable as the students celebrated. Hux was planning on staying home, catching up on grading. He was rather looking forward to an opportunity to reread his favorite novels. They were already stacked by the couch in preparation.“My family always throws a Halloween party and they got word that I could come this year,” Kylo said, shuffling his feet. He looked almost bashful.“Ren, it’s midnight,” Hux sighed at his infuriating coworker. “Get to it.”“I may have informed my entire family previously that we were dating.”

My thoughts on the rec: One of my all-around fav fics from the last year’s worth of my reading material! It’s got the modern AU vibes down pat without losing their personalities or making them too OOC, it’s got the fake-dating trope done REALLY well, it’s got a wonderful creepy vibe strung delicately throughout for the Halloween haunted setting, it’s got plot and make-outs (and more). Can’t recommend highly enough!

Thaw

thesevioletdelights

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28557180/chapters/69982587

Words: 14,316

Rating: Explicit

Summary:They have managed cooperation - efficient cooperation, even - in these past months, which is more than enough. And already nothing short of a miracle for both of them.Still. Ren was a fool to think he could simply run off and keep Hux in the dark.-----When Ren goes missing on a mysterious planet, Hux sets out to find him. He doesn't yet know that he just might find himself.

My thoughts on the rec: This, like all of violet’s fic, is HOT! Like, scorching vibes between them! It’ll draw you in and not let you go ‘til after the boys are ‘done’! And, like all of violet’s fics, the character voices and personalities are also impeccable!

Rocks Break Gifts

elderbwrry

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840237/chapters/62777839

Words: 16,706

Rating: Mature

Summary:The Rebellion has been crushed, a coup affected, and Supreme Leader Ren and his Grand Marshall Hux have settled into a domestic routine as the joint rulers of the Galaxy. Kylo wants nothing more, now, than to make his relationship with Hux official, but he can't seem to rise to Hux's challenge of a satisfactory proposal.Or, the five times Kylo proposes, and the one time Hux says yes.

My thoughts on the rec: Ahhhhh, the premise in this one is great! Like, I don’t wanna spoil the plot reveal at the end, so I can’t say too much, but there is a really good reason throughout the thing that this is a Five Times type fic and it works! It works so well and while we spend the fic ‘with’ Kylo, when we find out what Hux’s deal is, it is so satisfying! I Paint My Dreams

Marlon

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685907/chapters/65090566

Words: 26,122

Rating: General Audiences

Summary:Kylo Ren is struggling to make a name for himself in the art world but as the grandson of the great Anakin Skywalker, a legendary pop artist of the 1950s and 60s, the weight of his famous family and his own expectations is a lot to bear.After he’s rejected from a prestigious exhibition because his installations “don’t fit the theme”, Kylo heads to the pub to drink away his disappointment. Later that night as he stumbles home, he’s set upon by some would-be thieves but before they can take what’s left of his money, he’s saved by a strange man with unbelievable Medusa-like powers. The ethereally beautiful man, Armitage Hux, is a visitor from Oweynagat and he has a simple proposition for Kylo - room and board in exchange for making all Kylo’s artistic dreams come true.Sounds easy - what could possibly go wrong?

My thoughts on the rec: Oh goodness, where to start? The Irish Mythology and Fae aspect of this fic is superbly woven throughout the whole thing and the author makes it work really well! Like, this is such a unique and original take on the kylux pair, I love them, especially Fae!Hux in this! And the plot is solid and you get invested really heavily in how they are gonna wind up-at least I did! There’s some beautiful language in this-descriptions and dialogue! And I have a soft spot for Artist!Kylo!

Dating a Monster

mysticmilks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703904/chapters/65139415

Words: 30,401

Rating: Explicit

Summary:Ben Solo was raised to be a demon hunter, as everyone in his family has been before him. He wanted nothing more than to prove that he was worthy to his family. He lied to them and went on an unauthorized mission to catch and kill an elusive incubus. His search led him to Arkanis University, one of the most prestigious schools in the country.He was sure the mission was going to be easy, before he met the cute freshman Armitage Hux. This meeting would change the fate of both of them.

My thoughts on the rec: Add another really good one to the slightly-creepy-kylux subgenre filled with demons and dark powers! This is a great depiction of Kylo as a very determined demon hunter and Hux as a very unique quarry! I love the tension in parts of this too-well crafted! The Green Ribbon

xzombiexkittenx, Lilander (art)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630845/chapters/70176921

Words: 39,679

Rating: Explicit

Summary:When Ben was fifteen he left the Jedi temple and took extreme measures to prevent the shadowy creature that infiltrated his thoughts from dragging him to the dark side. What he did left him with a great deal of chronic pain and removed his most valuable weapon, but Ben got his stubbornness from every side of the family, even the adopted ones, and he was determined to find and kill the creature.Now Senator Amidala of Naboo, Ben uses his position to make the galaxy a less awful place when he can, but being senator also gave him very useful contacts in his search for the creature. When he met Major Hux of the First Order, Ben thought he could get game-changing information out of him, one way or another, but things rarely go Ben's way and it got complicated much faster than Ben had prepared for. It's never a good idea to mix sex and politics, but Ben takes his fun where he can get it.

My thoughts on the rec: I feel like this is a very original take on ‘Senator Amidala’ Ben, at least from the stuff I’ve read-many props to the author for such a fleshed out universe, filled with likeable, believable OCs, a wonderful plot, great character motivations and voices, and a take on our main man Ben that pulled me in from the get-go! He’s sorta magnetic (in universe and to the reader)! And the sexual tension and sexy bits are very well done! I’m rooting for Ben and Hux in this, on opposites sides though they may be! Comfort Zone

LydiaBSlade

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783797/chapters/65338117

Words: 66,766

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hux is running away. He meets a tall, dark, and somewhat annoying stranger at the airport.

My thoughts on the rec: Travel writing at its best; also kylux fic at it��s best! Young, modern them trying to find their places in the world and finding each other in the process is so cute and almost tenderly done in this! This is a gentle, friendly version of modern Kylo that I fell in love with, right along with Hux! And by the way, I’m not kidding when I say travel writing-the southeast asian setting is vivid and enchanting in it’s rich detail! Outnumbered, Outgunned, Outmanuevered, and Winning

Coriesocks, Ellalba (art)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217253/chapters/69144672

Words: 80,372

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hux’s plans for ridding the First Order of Kylo Ren are ruined when Ren discovers his deception. With no choice but to flee, Hux ends up in the hands of the Resistance. It’s not ideal, but at least he gets a break from Ren. Until he doesn’t.When Ren starts appearing in Hux’s dreams, Hux wonders if the stress of being a spy has taken more of a toll on his sanity than he’d previously thought. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he has to deal with constant pestering from Poe and a mildly inconvenient kidnapping. Of course, it’s Ren who saves him in the end. There’s clearly no getting away from him.

My thoughts on the rec: A really interesting take on something that is both a alternate rewrite of what could have happened instead of TROS and a TROS-fix-it of sorts! Hux is stellar in this, we really get a good look in his head and Coriesocks handles it masterfully! I really liked how their relationship develops gradually in this, it’s Enemies To Lovers at its best! Bloodlines and Brandy

EmperorsVornskr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989934/chapters/54963601

Words: 130,785

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Sebastian Hux is a native of the Deep South who loathes his origins, and seeks to pull himself from the stifling quagmire, but his bloodlines call him back to the property that has blessed- and plagued- his family for centuries.Unspoken secrets fill his inheritance, skeletons fill every closet, and a monster lurks in the shadows, tied to two bloodlines joined by fate, greed and hatred that has spanned across generations.As Hux learns about his family’s tainted legacy that has now become his burden, he discovers there is more involved than just having to be the curator of property that the locals shun with hushed whispers, that he has inherited more than an estate- he also has a terrible and loathsome horror tied to his very blood.When curious young locals come calling, and Hux’s past tormentors come out of the woodwork to simper and scrabble for a piece of the newly rich, the body count begins to rise, the smell of blood in the old slaughterhouse is getting harder to hide, and Hux realises that he will need to find a better way to pacify the hulking shadow that perches on his roof every night before his hometown’s tiny population is completely decimated.

My thoughts on the rec: This one is EPIC! Like, in length (which it needs every word of for the story that is going on here) and in the great portrayal of Kylo and Hux and their relationship! It’s super original too-not just the plot but the depiction of Kylo as something ‘other’ and the Southern Gothic vibes, and Hux-this is a wonderful take on Hux! He loses none of his edge, in my opinion and yet the reader is ‘with’ him all the way through, rooting for him! The descriptions are killer too-EmperorsVornskr has a felicity of expression that kept me reading (albeit in more than one sitting). Also worth noting that this is a wonderful and carefully handled depiction of trans!Hux, in my admittedly cis opinion. The theme of finding your tribe/your people/and your special someone in this, albeit in sometimes unexpected places is warming! I enjoyed every moment of this fic! Gravity Well

kyluxtrashcompactor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062495/chapters/29879001

Words: 176,421

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Snoke is gone, but his death has solved nothing between Hux and Kylo Ren. The First Order's trust in their leaders wanes as they vie for power over one another, and if they cannot learn to work together, they may both lose everything they've worked for.Forging that alliance after years at each other's throats will not be as easy as letting the past die, however—they will face subterfuge, enemies in the shadows, treachery, and being stranded on a hostile planet with creatures out of nightmare, barely escaping constant danger with their lives while having only one another to rely on.And that is just the beginning.

My thoughts on the rec: I realize this one is very well known by now, but I’ll rec it again for good reason! It’s quality long-fic! I love how competent Hux is in this surival-style fic, even without the Force to save him! And Kylo is a badass! kyluxtrashcompactor is a master of the slow burn here and we’re even lucky enough to be getting a sequel (although Gravity Well will also stand perfectly on its own). The writing in this will draw you in and not let you go!

----

That’s all for now! I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I did!

#kylux recs #kylux #fic recs #kylux recs 2021 #i enjoyed these fics

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creatingnikki · 4 years ago

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What 2020 has taught me

1. Those things that seem like content for sci fi or pure fiction are actually things that can happen. To the entire world. Like a pandemic. And to you. Like a seizure.

2. Everyone is sad. Everyone is struggling. In different ways and in different measures. Makes no one special. But you still get to feel sad for yourself and be compassionate towards others. But it's also okay to draw boundaries because you're everyone too. Remember, not special? You're sad and trying to deal with it too.

3. Every job you have will not add value to your life. It will not teach you new things or give you people you'll want to stay in touch with. Sometimes some jobs will only be a season of your life. Even if the season lasts for over a year. It's okay.

4. You know how you thought picking a college and picking a major and picking your first job and picking a specific industry were all the career decisions you had to make? Yeah, no. It's never a one time thing. You could have a job as a marketing strategist for two years and then want nothing to do with it. And then you'll have to make another decision and work towards it. So I'd like to call it moves. It's like chess. You always have to make a move. And it always has to be strategic, yes. But the truth is in your 20s it probably won't. Even if you try. And as long as you're trying, you'll be fine.

5. You may have different sorts of friends like the one you only talk to about kdrama with or the one you met when you went book shopping alone and the friendship is all about books really. That's normal. But irrespective of why and how you became friends with them, if you consider them a friend then there has to be this basic sense of care, respect and empathy for each other. I don't care what people want to say. If you're faced with the worst trauma of your life, the least your friends can do is check up on you regularly. On text. And if they don't even do that then guess what? They aren't friends. They are acquaintances. Social media and quick promises make everyone seem like your friend. But they are not. They are just nice people who will be nice to you for specific periods and then wander away like you are a speck of dust floating in their journey.

6. You speak a lot and write and you express yourself and you’re emotionally mature but oh my god. You still hold in so much. You’ve known that at a subconscious level and over the last year people - experts - have told you that. You have also realized that you make your pain and sadness about pettier things because dealing with them, admitting about them, sharing that with your friends, is easier. You do that so that you don’t have to deal with the real stuff. Because it’s so damn painful. And you don’t know how to do it. Yet. Acknowledging is the first step anyway right? I know you’re confused about how exactly to let go of all this pain and sadness and feel lighter, and you know that talking to people really isn’t the solution, but I also know you’re smart enough to figure it out.

7. Talking about being smart...you know you’re different than others. Better. Special. Smarter. None of these are the right words. And you never voiced this out until this year because you knew it would make you come across as narcissistic. Some would say it’s because you’re an INFJ. But my mother once said that this may be the first time we are consciously living life but our souls are old and so our instinct and the things we know but can’t explain are because this isn’t the first time for our souls. The connections we feel with certain people, the reason we are so different from our siblings who grew up in the exact same environment with the exact same opportunities, our sense of right and wrong...it’s all because our souls learn and grow with each time and that’s why we are who we are. I think that’s probably how I can explain what I have always felt. That I am living in a different universe than everybody but I have to pretend to be in this one and dumb my emotions and thoughts down. Maybe that’s because my soul has lived through thousands of years while most around me are living their 100th life. Or maybe I’m just narcissistic, who knows?

8. You shift between talking in first person and second person but that’s because that’s how you think in your head and talk to yourself and live your life. You ask yourself things and you accuse yourself of things and you apologize to yourself and you comfort yourself. I think that seeps into your writing and the changing of the voices.

9. You always genuinely thought that you’d not be afraid of dying. And then what happened this October proved you shockingly wrong. I know it’s not so much being afraid of dying but the unbearable pain of knowing what that would mean to your family. So you have to be more prudent and less reckless with your life and the choices you make.

10. Regret is not something that plagued you but this year the realisation and pain of giving away your favourite books from your own personal collection to people you care about as a show of affection and them turning out to be ass holes or losers has hit you so hard. So, yes. No more of that shit. I really fucking want my copy of The Perks Of Being A Wallflower back. UGH. With the childhood picture of me inside it!

11. Sleeping at 5 am in the morning stops being fun or romanticised when you realise just how much harm it does to your body and mind. Literally every single disease and disorder can be traced back to a shitty fucking sleep schedule. It’s not just the hours you sleep but also the quality of sleep and the time you sleep at. So yes sleeping for 8 hours is healthy but not if that 8 hours is from 5 am to 12 pm. ‘Not a morning person’ is just another construct of capitalism and you don’t realise how many industries profit from having you believe that and staying up late or all night. Entertainment. Food. Alcohol. Pharma. Biologically and naturally you are a bloody morning person. And you don’t need 3 cups of coffee to begin your day or your phone notifications to get you to open your eyes and brain to wake up.

12. Sometimes you really have to stop taking people so seriously. I know the idea of treating people as casual friends or entertainment makes you want to fight that concept but you know what? Some people like Pineapple are ever only going to be good for that. No matter how much they ‘grow and change’. So keep them in the background for whenever you want some entertainment or drama. But please don’t clear up your busy schedule to meet them or send them gifts on their birthday.

13. If you don’t have the fruit juice or green juice within half an hour of making it then you are losing out on its most optimum health benefits. Or when you remove the white stringy stuff from oranges. That’s where all the actual nutrients are.

14. I am privileged and so are most of the people I interact with. The global pandemic has been hell for a lot of people around the world. Health wise. Financially. Losing people they care about. But I was blessed enough to be safe at home and have a job that I could smoothly do from home and not have a pay cut or 4-hour long Zoom meetings. So honestly when my friends tell me 2020 has been bad I have to stop and ask them why? Yes, the crippling uncertainty and anxiety is not something that can be undermined. But most people I know had very great positive life-changing milestones this year like moving away to another country for college or taking their first solo trip or getting married. So I have to ask them. Because I am not going to agree that everybody’s 2020 and pandemic narrative is the same.

15. Money gets spent really quickly. When I left my job earlier this year because of personal issues, I thought I had enough savings to last me a year. Full disclosure - I mean to last my personal expenses because I live with my parents. But it didn’t even last me 3 months. And so to use money wisely and buy things that provide utility than instant gratification is something to follow. Also buying one pair of really expensive but quality shoes is better than buying 5 pairs of affordable but low quality shoes that will have a very short life and force you to buy more. I know that higher price doesn’t always mean better quality but sometimes it does. And as an adult now I want to do the whole quality > quantity thing even with things and not just people.

16. Everyone in their 20s went through a crisis of what they should do with their lives and their careers and it’s not unique to the 21st century and the challenges of today. Whether it was Vincent Van Gogh in the 19th century or Sylvia Plath in the 20th, every single person, as brilliant as them went through the torture of making these decisions and living with their consequences. You may think I picked wrong examples for they both killed themselves but you know what? They were the people who really want to live more than anyone. They knew what life meant. And maybe if mental health help was more accessible back then their lives would be longer and more peaceful.

17. Telling people everything is overrated. You don’t have to talk about every single thing that’s on your mind or that’s going on in your life. The good and the bad and the mediocre. You have to be mindful about how much of yourself you’re giving away.

18. Re-watch Suits when people at work feel intimidating because the confidence + negotiation tactics that they show can actually work irl cos at the end of the day no matter in what position you’re dealing with people who have emotions and fears and insecurities and desires. You understand how to leverage that nobody can get the better of you.

19. You belong to yourself. No matter how much you love someone or how much they have done for you or how much you owe them - you belong to yourself. You can’t live your life for someone else. Everyone belongs to themselves first. No relationship, no promise, no circumstance should make you feel like you have to give up your life and make it all about them. If and when the time comes to die for them, go ahead. Take a bullet. Donate that kidney. Write them in your will. But live your life for yourself. And let them live theirs.

20. Twenty three was a challenging year. When it started you claimed the age 23 sounds boring and insignificant. Guess it proved you wrong. It hurt so much now. But that only means you’ll look back on it later and see how it added so much wisdom and resilience to your being. It doesn’t mean that it makes all the bad things that happened to you okay. Or that you should be grateful to them. Fuck no. It means that you should be kinder to yourself because at the end of the day, your mind and body find it in themselves to deal with whatever is thrown their way. They have your back. It’s time you learn to sit straight.

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johnsamericano · 4 years ago

Text

𝓓𝓪𝔂 16:

ℓєє נєиσ

23 days of NCT masterlist.

taglist: @notbeforelong @whathamelon @mrcarbonatedmilk @curieouscapt @unknown5tar @gjheaaa @ajhdr @silent-potato

warnings: oral (male receiving), jealous Jeno, mentions of drunk sex, Jeno in those tight pants skaters wear 😭

“Watcha looking at?”

Jeno jolted, his eyes abandoning the pair of skaters practicing in the ice-rink. Just as he stopped watching, he heard a loud thud. You were laying down on your back, your partner sprinting towards your giggly figure.

“Are you alright?” He helped you up, his hand holding your waist naturally. “Stop laughing, you could’ve gotten yourself hurt.”

“I’ve fallen so many times that it doesn’t even hurt anymore, Jaems.” Jeno’s blood boiled at the name. You wouldn’t even call him by his name, while your partner had the privilege of having his very own nickname. “Let’s practice the death spiral.”

Jeno’s partner looked at him with curiosity, she’d never seen that look in his face before.

“Don’t tell me you’re planning on switching partners.” Jeno shook his head, tearing his gaze off You to finish tying his skates.

“Never, I was just studying our competition.” Right after finishing his task, he extended his hand towards his friend. “We need to practice hard, we’re only a few days away from the competition.”

You didn’t even spare him a glance as they entered the rink, too focused on finding the perfect way to hold Jaemin’s hand.

“Okay, we’ve got this.” You high fived him, getting in position to start your routine all over again. “Hey, Lee! Quit staring at us.” Apparently, you had taken notice of his gaze.

“I wasn’t!” The slight blush in his cheeks said otherwise. “Ignore them, Irene.”

As much as Jeno considered training with you in the same rink a blessing, you seemed to despise him. Maybe it was because of that time he called you untalented when he was a teen, or maybe it was because of that time he left the morning after having drunk sex with you, but who knows.

Nationals were held a couple of days later. Thankfully, you didn’t have to travel anywhere this year.

You cheerfully greeted all of the people you’d met during the past competitions, wishing them luck as Jaemin called you out to get ready.

You dressed in the beautiful black dress with small diamonds around your sleeves, Jaemin wearing a matching outfit, the tight shirt making his chest and shoulders look broader. You were both provided with a thick coat to cover you from the ice rink’s cold.

“You ready?” You went out of the dressing rooms, holding his hand tightly.

“We’re gonna do amazing.”

As you waited for another pair to finish their routine, a handsome Lee Jeno approached you.

“Ready to lose?” You scoffed, looking at him in disbelief. “What? There’s no way you’re gonna win against us.”

“May I remind you who won a golden medal last year?” Now it was his turn to scoff, both of your partners looking at the scene unfolding with curiosity.

“Wanna bet?” His face inched closer to your own, breath fanning against your slightly flushed cheeks.

“Deal. If I win, you’ll have to treat me and Jaems dinner.” That damn nickname again.

“Fine, but if I win, you’ll call me Jeno from now on.” It wasn't the deal he'd originally thought of, but the sudden mention of your partner made his blood boil with resentment.

You stared at him, squinting your eyes.

“Fine.” You finally replied as your name was being called through the speakers. “Break a leg.”

You threw your coat at him before entering the ice with Jaemin holding your hand, the crowd cheering loudly for the country's favorite pair. You skated around, warming up your legs as you waited for your music to get started. You stopped at the middle of the rink, placing your hand behind the nape of Jaemin’s neck to start your routine.

The melancholic sound of violins filled the place, your legs moving backward as you started your well-practiced routine.

Jeno watched everything from outside as Jaemin lifted you between his arms, holding your waist tightly as you looked at each other with passion, almost as if thousands of people weren't surrounding you, as if you were the only ones in the room.

Jaemin threw you in the air, your body rotating a few times before you landed in his arms again.

Your routine was filled with emotions, each movement expertly performed, the crowd bursting into cheers as the end of your song approached. You both nailed a triple axel, perfectly synchronized. Jaemin grabbed a hold of your hand, your back slowly bending as he spun your body around, forming the infamous death spiral. Adrenaline pumped through your veins as Jaemin carried you once again, arm between your thighs as he gave a final spin to end your performance. You smiled at each other, proud of your nearly excellent performance.

You skated out of the rink, grabbing a few flowers the crowd had thrown at you. Your trainers waited for you, seating in a bench where you'd receive your final score.

Jeno’s piercing gaze could easily be disguised as a normal competitor's jealousy, but deep down, he knew that wasn't it. He wanted to be the one by your side, he wanted to hold your hand just like Jaemin did. He wanted you to smile at him the way you did with your partner.

As expected, Jeno lost the bet. He was frustrated, to say the least, not only because he didn't get the highest score, but because every single reporter that interviewed the golden medal winners would ask about their relationship.

‘They’re not together.’ Jeno wanted to tell them, but he knew you could handle the situation yourself, telling the reporters you were only friends.

“Just ask her out already.” Irene sat down on a bench beside him, the silver medal hanging from her neck.

“What?”

“Jeno, everyone knows you're head over heels for her. You're not exactly discreet.”

“I really don't want to think about that now.” Irene hummed, staring at Jeno while he closed his eyes, attempting to ease his turbulent mind.

It wasn't until he heard the sound of steps coming his way that he opened them again, his orbs going wide at the sight of you.

“You did amazing today.” Well, that was unexpected.

“Are you mocking me?”

“What? No!” You were suddenly regretted trying to lift his spirits. “Your routine was amazing, Jeno.”

You called him by his name. A small laugh couldn't be helped as his face turned bright red.

“Come, I have a consolation prize for you.” You extended your hand his way, your pretty fingers making a ‘come here’ motion.

“Why are you suddenly being nice to me?” He hesitantly took your hand, letting you drag him all the way to the dressing rooms, away from the curious eyes of reporters.

You didn't answer his question, instead, locking the door behind you. He gave you a puzzled look, his thick eyebrows joining in a small frown.

“I heard you talking to Irene.” You shyly confessed, playing with the hem of your black skirt. “How old are you? 10? Why didn't you just tell me instead of acting like an ass?”

“Okay, first, I acted like an ass once, and I was twelve, what were you even expecting?” He took a step closer to you, hands almost over your waist. “And second, I thought you hated me, why would I confess to someone who clearly doesn't like me?”

“Why would you assume I hate you?”

“You don't?”

“I mean, I don't even know you that well. We've trained together for years but we've barely spoken, except for that time we slept together after drinking.” The distance between your bodies was now null, chests pressing against each other. “But I would've definitely accepted if you’d asked me out. I kinda like that bad boy vibe you give.”

A smile creeped up his lips, hands settling right above the curve of your ass.

“You said you had a consolation prize for me.” You cocked an eyebrow, noticing how the atmosphere had changed in less than a second.

“Oh, really?” Your hands teased the back of his thighs, slightly tugging at the flexible material of his pants.

“Lately I’ve been having trouble remembering that night we shared a year ago, mind helping me freshen up my memory?”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t left the morning after, you wouldn’t have to be reminded, cause it would be a daily thing.” There was a pinch of resentment in your voice as you pulled his pants down, sinking into your knees to caress his growing bulge.

“Don’t tease.” He warned, grabbing a hold of your hair and slightly pulling it back. “I was scared...” he resumed your previous conversation. “Irene and I don’t have the best chemistry, unlike you and that friend of yours, so I feared not being able to skate with her anymore, I didn’t want to lose that small spark that makes us worthy of a medal, even if it’s just silver.”

“But still, you didn’t have to leave me hungover and confused in a hotel room. That was mean.” Jeno chuckled, breath hitching as you pulled out his length from the black boxers.

“I promise to make it up to you...shit.” He groaned as you flattened your tongue against his tip, the pressure driving him insane.

“You better.” You fitted as much as you could inside your mouth, massaging the rest of it with your hands as you bobbed your head.

Jeno could feel himself growing harder inside your wet cavern, length twitching at the feeling of your tongue swirling around it.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Slowly, his hips started moving back and forth, matching the pace of your head which was now controlled by his hand. “That’s it, I’m close.” His low grunts and moans had your core aching, clenching around nothing in an attempt to relive it. “Just a couple more hours and I’ll take you back to my apartment. I can’t wait to have that pretty cunt around me.” You whimpered, sending vibrations down his cock and causing his cum to spill inside your mouth. The salty liquid painted the back of your throat, involuntarily making you swallow it. “Come on, the reporters must be waiting for you.” With both hands below your elbows, he helped you up, pulling his pants back up before leaving the room with you following closely.

“There You are!” Jaemin spotted you, Jeno immediately running away to avoid rising any suspicions. “What were you doing in that dressing room with our enemy?” He dramatically gasped. “Am I being replaced? Hold me, I might faint.”

“Stop it, you drama queen. We were just...talking.”

“Mhm.” He grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers and shooting a glance at Jeno. His deep frown made Jaemin smile. “Oh, and y/n?” You looked at him. “Wipe that drool off your chin, darling.”

#nct smut #nct angst #nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct x reader #nct #nct 127 #nct scenarios

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thechangeling · 4 years ago

Text

But you like her better: Part 2

Sorry it's been a minute! I hope you like it.

Cw: Some brief ableism, mentions of internalized biphobia, and self injurious stimming.

2013

It was raining when 16 year old María Machado Sotomayor first met Kit Herondale.

Marí had always loved the sound of the rain. It was peaceful and rhythmic, creating a nice tingly feeling in her skull running straight down her spine. It also good for the plants. Which meant that Marí arrived (on time for once) at her favorite class in a pretty good mood.

Marine biology was their one of their three special interests, the other two being lacrosse and Base guitar. So Bio was usually pretty fun for them. However this time was different.

Her mood was instantly dampened when she walked into class and saw someone new sitting in her usually seat. A blond, short and white kid who looked far too pretty for his own good. A new kid most likely.

A new kid who didn't realize that Marí always sat by the window every single day. It was their spot. Still Marí was determined not to overreact. They marched over to the new kid and approached him with their best masking smile.

Remember eye contact. She told herself. Keep your tone light and breezy but not too lifeless. Smile. Appear friendly and non threatening. Try not to sweat. Try not to scream.

"Hi excuse me," Marí began in a sickly sweet tone. "That's actually my seat! Sorry!"

The boy instantly looked embarrassed and apologetic. "Oh I'm sorry!" He blushed. "I didn't realize there was assigned seating." He had an American accent, California maybe?

Wonderful. A white American boy. Just what they needed.

Marí chewed their lip and fought the urge to rock or tap. "There isn't actually," they admitted. "I just usually sit there. So can you please move?"

Now the new kid looked a little offended. A cold look settled over his face. "Well why should I?" He bristled. "This seat isn't really yours. It's not like it has your name on it."

Marí rolled her eyes in frustration. "I tried that already but then I got in trouble."

He stared at them curiously for a moment. Marí took the opportunity to break eye contact finally and scuff their heel against the floor. They were wearing the new black suede chunky heels with the gem stones that Marí had gotten when they went thrifting with their friends.

"María!" The harsh voice of her teacher snapped her back into reality. Everyone had arrived and taken their seats while she was arguing with the American and now everyone was staring at her. "Could you please explain why you are not seated young lady?" She snapped in her extra pretentious sounding posh English accent.

The one that said, "I'm better than you."

Marí tried not to growl at being called a young lady. They weren't feeling particularly female today. Not that Marí was going to bother explaining that to some old British hag.

"He won't get out of my seat!" Marí protested. Instantly laughter broke out around the classroom. Cruel mocking laughter that made Marí feel like her skin was crawling.

"It's ok!" The new kid cried out, practically jumping out of Marí's seat. "I'll move! I'll go sit over here." He grabbed his bag and moved to the back of the room as quickly as possible.

Marí smiled in spite of themself. His random act of kindness was surprising, but they were grateful. They took their seat near the window and sighed in relief.

Marí would always look back on that day with fondness no matter what. It may not have seemed like much to him, but it meant the world to her. After Bio class she had asked Kit to come eat with her and her friends. They had made their introductions and the rest was history.

They became close friends very quickly, bonding over movies and music. They sent each other playlists of their favorite songs and songs that reminded them of each other. Marí made Kit a queer playlist with songs by queer artists and told Kit that they were bisexual and a demigirl. They hadn't even told their friends that last part yet at that point.

Marí also told Kit that they liked to use she/they pronouns, but so far was only using them online. Kit asked Marí a lot of questions then confessed to Marí that he was also bisexual but he was still kinda getting used to it.

"I grew up in a shitty situation," Kit had told them. "I guess I still have a lot of shame."

Marí didn't hold it against him. She bought him queer literature and resources for queer history including "Bisexuality and Queer Theory" and her printed copy of the article published in the 90s called "The Bisexual Manifesto." She gave him advice on websites and people to follow online.

They also just talked. Talked about life and their experiences. Their feelings and their relationships with their sexualities. Bonding with another queer person was always special but spending time with Kit always made Marí feel so...light.

Despite how close they were getting, Marí didn't always want to touch him. They were touch averse in most cases unless they were very comfortable with someone. Sometimes it just depended on the day. On the days where Marí found they could not hug Kit they had invented their own way to show affection.

They would place a hand over their hearts and tap it, as if to say "I care about you" or "I love you." Sometimes Kit would say "tap my heart" as a substitute for actually doing it.

He introduced her to his close friend Janessa, the wayward vampire who was incredibly hot and kind of made Marí all nervous and tounge twisty at first. But as they got to know her, Marí realized that she was also incredibly kind, passionate and clearly cared at great deal about Kit. Janessa was a gamer who had named herself after a video game character. She drank cups of warm blood in novelty mugs with giant swirly sparkly straws and was pretty good at making people laugh.

Janessa, or Nessie as Kit had affectionately nicknamed her, was flirtatious and charismatic, but also brutal and deadly in a fight. She was full of surprises. And maybe, just maybe Marì was a little bit into that.

However as much as Marí didn't want to admit it, they were also were starting to realize that they were way more into someone else. Someone with perfect golden curls that Marí wanted to curl their fingers into.

Eventually Kit came out to Marí as genderfluid and requested that she use alternating he/they pronouns for them. They both made the decision to collectively tell their friends their pronouns. Marí, Kit and Nessie sat around her gorgeous leather couch and talked for hours about gender, identity and transness. Kit pointed put that they may never be able to fully explain their gender to the other two, just like Kit might have a hard time fully understanding Janessa's relationship with gender, or Marí's because everyone was different.

"It's personal Nessie," he had said. "Everyone has their own unique perspective on gender and every trans person has their own complicated feelings about gender and what their own gender identity means to them, and those feelings might not completely match up with another trans person's. But that's ok. You don't have to understand the other person but you do have to respect them."

Janessa's understanding of gender came from being a trans women. It was about a strict binary with clear lines and rules. Rules that Kit was starting to make a habit of fingerpainting all over and Marí could tell that it was stressing her out.

And Marí had no idea where the hell they fit in these rules. They had stopped playing the game.

But those two loved each other more than anything, and Marí knew they could work anything out. And sure enough approximately seven hours and four margaritas later (only two for Marí,) they had come to an understanding.

2014

She kissed Kit for the first time a month into the new year.

They had been trying on clothes in Marí's room and Kit was wearing one of their old dresses that Marí thought they looked amazing in, but Kit wanted to give it away. It was dark navy blue and sparkly with spaghetti straps, coming to about mid thigh. There were cut outs on the sides, filled in with black sheer fabric, and it had a low v cut at the neckline which was also filled in with black sheer.

Kit had been infodumping about one of the Marvel movies again, Marí couldn't remember which one, and she had kept getting distracted by his tan smooth skin peaking through the sheer fabric and fullness of Kit's moving lips. He smiled excitedly and Marí had stepped forward and kissed him.

Their first thought was that Kit tasted like chocolate. Their second was that they should have done this months ago.

Kit had melted into the kiss, smiling slightly against her mouth and pulling her closer. They kissed her feverishly, sliding their tounge inside Marí's mouth and moaning when she deepened the kiss eagerly. They moved against each other with almost lazy, comfortable precision, kissing each other for what could have been hours or days or maybe only seconds.

Marí couldn't have said.

When Kit finally broke the kiss and pulled away from Marí, his eyes were practically gleaming with joy and love. And that was when they knew.

I love him.

2015

I love him.

Ty's words ran in her ears. Repeating over and over again, maddenly bouncing around inside of her skull until she was forced to utter out loud,

"I love him".

They whispered it under their breath but Marí could tell that both Alyssa and Ty had heard them. It was so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop.

But of course. Of course he does. It was obvious. This whole time Marí had noticed there was something wrong with Ty. Just like there was something wrong with Kit. The way they stared after each other when they thought the other one wasn't looking. The loving and worshipful glances mixed with the bitter glares.

Marí had already known that Kit was in love with Ty of course. But the way they had told the story made it seem like they were positive that Ty couldn't be in love with them.

But then again maybe that made sense. Given Kit's history and who he was. But then Marí couldn't help but think of Ty and how confused he must have been. God it was a giant mess.

Speaking of...

The room was still silent. Marí found that she couldn't read Ty's expression as he stared back at her flatly. But his body was shaking, his fingers fluttered at his sides. She wanted to soothe him.

They stepped forward carefully. "I'm not mad at you," Marí assured him. "I was hoping we could talk?"

Ty's left eye twitched. "We are talking," he pointed out. Alyssa snorted.

"Ty, they mean about the proverbial bomb you just dropped a few seconds ago," Alyssa said with a laugh. Marí smirked to themself slightly.

It wasn't really a bomb. More like a flare.

She really needed to talk to Ty. The only problem was Alyssa had an annoying tendency to never leave his side. It wasn't like she had a problem with the girl. Of course not. But her presence meant that Marí hadn't had the opportunity to talk to Ty one on one.

They cleared their throat. "Alyssa could you please give Ty and I some space to talk?" They asked. Marí hoped they didn't sound too rude. Alyssa looked to Ty and he nodded slightly, signaling that he was ok with her leaving.

That was so strange to Marí. Their relationship. The way Alyssa, a werewolf who hated shadowhunters even more then Marí did, essentially took orders from him and clearly trusted him more than anyone else. But perhaps she wasn't one to judge.

After all, she loved Kit.

Alyssa left the room with a pat on Ty's back and a quick, "call if you need me." Marí shifted their weight back and forth as they rocked slightly from side to side as they waited for Ty to speak.

He stared back at her silently, most likely doing the same. Marí blew out a loud breath and forced herself to stay still, crossing her arms.

"Are you going to say something or should I?" Ty asked expectantly. Marí bit their lip and shrugged.

"I'm still thinking of what I wanna say," she admitted.

Ty smiled at her softly. "So am I."

There we go. Cracks in the armour.

"I'm sorry," Ty whispered suddenly. "I never meant to-"

"You don't have to apologize!" Marí blurted out. Whoops they had interrupted him. "Oh shit sorry you were still talking!" They reached for their hair nervously and realized that they were wearing that Morticia wig for their costume.

Great. Marí moved on to chewing on her knuckles.

"It's ok," Ty reassured her. "I don't really know where I was going with that sentence. And you shouldn't do that." He pointed to her hand.

Marí scoffed, "yeah well you shouldn't dig your nails into your palms." He glared at them and they laughed.

"Not so fun playing a game of Mirror Image is it?" They teased. Ty didn't respond, just stared at Marí solemnly.

"You know I really admire you," he said, aiming his gaze close enough to hers to create the illusion of eye contact. "I always have. I never wanted to hurt or upset you."

Marí wished for a brief moment that they could touch him and then shrugged the impulse off. "I know love," they cooed. "Me too."

Without really understanding why, she pressed her hand to her chest directly above her heart and tapped, just like how she did with Kit. Ty studied Marí for a moment and then followed suite.

Marí in spite of themself, actually felt bad for him. They could clearly see the toll the last three years had taken on him, specifically the last few weeks. Maybe his family couldn't see it, and they definitely knew that Kit couldn't, but Marí could.

Marí of all people could see past the mask because they knew what masking looked like. It wasn't just about appearing normal, whatever that word meant. It was about hiding your feelings. Taking that heart you wore on your sleeve and locking it up tight. But everytime Marí looked at Ty, they could see it. And it was bleeding.

Ripped and bloody and broken, just like her own and yet they both still had the sheer audacity to keep breathing. Marí was proud of them both.

"You need to talk to him," Marí prompted. "You both need to be honest with each other."

Ty furrowed his brow. "Honest? About what? He doesn't feel the same way." He had gone back to flicking his fingers as he stared at her, looking puzzled.

Bloody hell between the two of them, Kit and Ty were giving Marí the mother of all headaches.

They took a deep breath. "Yes they do Ty," Marí tried not to sound exasperated. "Kit is in love with you, believe me. They told me."

It hurt Marí's heart to have to say it, but it was true and Ty deserved to know the truth. And they knew deep down that Kit wouldn't really be happy, he wouldn't be Kit until he had Ty. And Marí had to make their peace with that.

Ty looked understandably confused. He ran a frantic hand through his hair. "But why are you telling me this? Why are you helping me?" He asked. "Don't you love them?"

She fought the urge to cry as tears gathered in her eyes. She found herself digging her nails into her palms despite chastising Ty for doing it a few minutes ago.

"I'm telling you all of this because I love them" she cried desperately. "Because Kit cries out your name in his sleep Ty! Because everytime he sees you, he stares at you like you are the moon the sun and the stars! Because everytime you speak they hang onto absolutely every word, and when you laugh-" Marí cut herself off.

They squeezed their eyes shut and took deep long breaths. Ty said nothing. Marí opened their eyes to see Ty staring at them in dismay. He looked like he was trying to think of what to say to help.

Marí shook their head. "I know Kit loves me. And they probably always will. We were close friends even before we started dating." Marí groaned and shook out their entire body this time, jumping up and down a few times as well to get rid of the tension. If Ty thought this was weird he didn't comment on it.

Marí wiped her eyes carefully trying not to smudge her mascara. "But you Ty?" His eyes refocused on her again at the sound of his name. Marí chuckled humourlessly. "Fucking hell, he is in love with you. And right now he is thinking that you hate him and I know it's tearing him up inside."

Ty stared at Marí hopelessly, looking overwhelmed and exhausted. "So what do I do then? What am I supposed to say?"

Marí shrugged. "I can't help you with that I'm sorry. It has to come from you." Ty looked even more panicked.

They gave him what they hoped was an encouraging smile. "Don't be scared Ty," they murmered. "It's Kit remember. They're not scary. You have nothing to worry about."

Ty didn't answer her. He had wrapped his arms around his body, squeezing tightly. "Marí do you remember those dead moon jellyfish we buried on the beach?" He asked.

She was a little confused as to why he was bringing this up now. "Yeah? Why?"

"That's what I feel like right now," Ty admitted. "Like I've washed up on the beach and now I'm just waiting for someone to come along and step on me."

Marí's heart sank. "Oh Ty," they breathed. "I promise that won't happen with Kit. I can't make any promises for anyone else, but I do know that Kit has absolutely no intention of hurting you again love."

Ty looked pensive. Marí could only hope that Ty would make the decision to trust them.

With a sudden jolt Marí remembered the party.

"Hey we still have the Halloween party to go to," she said, shaking Ty out of his stupor. "Do you still wanna go?"

To their surprise, Ty nodded. "Sure. I think Alyssa might kill me if I back out now."

Marí snorted. Alyssa Reyes could be pretty terrifying at times.

With surprise Marí found that their spirts were lighter having cleared the air with Ty and with the prospect of a party being renewed.

She smiled. "All right then let's head out!" Marí smoothed down the long black wig over her shoulders and quickly smoothed out the long skirt of her black slinky dress before turning and exiting the training room.

She knew that she would have to talk to Kit at some point and that conversation would be brutal. But at least they could have one last night together.

It's better this way. Marí told themself as they walked back towards the main living room where everyone was gathered. At least now Kit can be happy.

It's for the best.

It has to be.

So I'm actually planning on writing a part 3 from Kit's pov because the drama isn't over yet! 😏

Tag list: lmk if you wanna be added/removed.

@playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan @hardlymatters @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @tired-vin @phoenix-and-dragon @the-blackdale @adoravel-fenomeno @the-wckd-powers

#tsc #twp #kit x ty #marí the werewolf #the wicked powers #maría machado sotomayor #we stan autistic bonding #we stan queer bonding

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