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yoditopascal · 1 month ago

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Like A Prayer (Part 5)

summary: best friends with wade you’re always being dragged into something even when he’s not trying to, what are you to do when you find the fate of your timeline in the hands of yourself, your chaotic merc and an angry wolverine who’s hellbent on drinking himself to death?

content warnings: romance, some angst, a little fluff, character deaths, canon-typical violence, smut, lots of cussing, mutual pining, found family, drug and alcohol use, reader insert but with no use of y/n cuz I hate that shit, deadpool being deadpool, mentions of poor mental health (depression anxiety and ptsd mostly), mentions of cannibalism this chapter, scent marking, the honda odyssey scene needs a warning all on its own MINORS DNI

tag list: sorry if you weren’t tagged I tried tagging everyone that asked but some usernames didn’t work! @allmyn1ghts @blooket-scares-me @amararosesblog @talanyra @spideybv28 @sadslasher13 @night-spectrum @eveieforeve02 @fudosl @melonmochi @shycollectionwolfstuff

Previous Chapter//Next Chapter

I Miss the Rage

Your head feels heavy as you start to come to. You lull it to the side to dull the throbbing pain and it rests against something hard and fleshy.

“Don’t get too comfortable there princess.” A deep voice chuckles as your eyes snap open, adjusting to the harsh light of the sun. In front of you, you find the man from before, the one that had combust into flames to fight those Mad Maxy guys.

Realizing you had been leaning on him you go to pull yourself away only to realize you were tied together almost chest to chest if you weren’t shorter than him.

“You have a good nap?” He teased in good nature. You ignore him as you look around yourself trying to remember what happened for you to be here chained up like this.

Oh yeah the big ass magnet.

“Where am I?” You finally ask as your eyes land on the Wolverine. He was to your left chained up to Wade who was mumbling something about Thor in his sleep. The man you were currently pressed up against went to open his mouth to speak again when he’s cut off by Wade jolting himself awake.

“How long was I asleep?” He asks groggily as he leans on Wolverine’s shoulder. The Wolverine harshly shrugged him off.

“Not all of you was asleep.” He grumbles looking down at the man with disgust and annoyance.

Ignoring Wolverine, Wade went to check for his weapons when he, like you, suddenly realized he too was tied up pretty tightly to the Wolverine no less.

“Don’t bother, they were very thorough.” The man says as he watched him squirm around attempting to see if they really took everything from him.

“You know where we are, start talking.” The Wolverine barks at him, having only known this mysterious man for a few minutes you didn’t think he was bad enough to warrant that kind of angry reaction from him. The man raises an eyebrow at Wolverine and smirks.

“You’re in The Void. Think of it as purgatory. Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard where anything useless goes before it gets annihilated forever, and where the TVA sends people that don’t play nice with the rest of the multiverse.”

“Like you?” The Wolverine said harshly, this guy seriously needed to watch his tone.

“And you.” The man said as a particularly hard bump in the road sent you stumbling further into him, he put his bound arms around your waist to steady you. He smelled heavily of smoke and his natural musk, but it wasn't unpleasant, you had thought. When you looked up to apologize to him you could see that he wasn’t even looking at you, instead choosing to hold his gaze with the Wolverine’s who looked like he had smelled something sour. You looked back and forth between the two men, one wore a smirk and the other stuck with his perpetual frown, tired of whatever dance the two were doing with each other you cut in.

“Who are you?” You ask.

“The names Johnny, Johnny Storm.” He says finally looked down at you.

“What does the annihilating?” The Wolverine cuts you off, this time Johnny’s smirk drops as he answers.

“Alioth.”

“From Loki season 1 episode 5?!” Wade gasps in shock and lowkey excitement.

“Everyone here is on the run from Alioth. Most don’t make it. There’s a resistance though. Other people like us that manage to survive, we’re hiding out in the border lands, trying to find a way the fuck outta here.” Johnny continues as he looks out into the desert as he thinks about if he’ll have a chance to see them again, his friends, his new found family.

You saw the somber look in his eyes and just as you were about to say something to comfort him the Wolverine interrupts you again, this time with a gruff “Then that’s where we go.”

Wade kicks a foot up excitedly and if his hands were free you were sure he’d be clapping.

“We? Us? A team? The answer is yes! Shake on it!” He goes to lean towards you and Johnny but just as he does so the telltale snikt of Wolverine’s claws extending is heard as he cuts through the skin of Wade’s thigh.

“Fuck! You nicked it! Got the tip with your little steak knives!”

The Wolverine rolls his eyes as he looks back to Johnny. “The others can help us get back to the TVA. They can fix things.” He said more to himself than anyone else.

Johnny chuckles as he lets his head lull forward bumping into yours lightly and the Wolverine growls at him as he tries to shuffle towards you two.

“Something funny, bub?” He down right snarls as Johnny lifts his head tilting it innocently at him as the smirk from before returns to his face.

“She might have something to say about that.”

“Who’s she?” You ask.

“In The Void, you’re either food for Alioth, or you work for her.” Johnny says as he begins to explain to y’all exactly who she was.

One lengthy car ride and a dramatic rant from Johnny later you all reach the decayed body of a giant, its gloved hands, acting as a gate, opening upon your arrival.

“Paul Rudd finally aged.” Wade jokes but you could tell he was starting to get nervous, as the cars rolled to a stop. Surrounded all around you were goons of all sorts of backgrounds, some seemed quite familiar to you while others you had never seen before a day in your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know the drill if shit goes south don’t you babes?” Wade leans over as best as he could from the Wolverine’s side.

“You go right, I go left.” You nod as Wolverine looks between you two with a cocked brow. In his world you were an exceptionally skilled fighter, an x-man, were you the same in this one? He wondered.

“Keep your voices down,” the greasy man from before said as he came around to unlock the cage you all had been thrown in. “She don’t like the chatter.”

One by one the man unhooks you from the cage and drags you out until you’re standing by Johnny on the other side of the compound. Just as he goes to pull away from you, the greasy man grabs your chin forcing you to look him in his eyes as he smirks down at you showing off his filthy teeth. From the corner of your eye you can see the Wolverine starting to come to your rescue until he’s stopped and held back by some of the others surrounding you, with a snarl you rip your face away from his grip glaring up at him as he laughs down at you.

“Oh she’s gonna love you.” He grins before turning his back to you as he walks away. Just as you go to retort you’re stopped as you hear the Wolverine speak up

“Is that Charles?”

Looking up in the direction he was looking you spot a figure in a wheelchair approaching you four.

“Hey, hey, Chuck, it’s us!” Wade pipes up swinging his restrained arms to try and wave the figure over as if he knew you but the closer they got the more you realized something about it wasn’t quite right. The head while still bald was smaller and overall the figure just appeared more dainty and almost feminine.

Clearing the smoke that was wafting through the compound the figure rose to their feet from the wheelchair revealing a bald smiling woman as she descended the stairs to approach you all.

“That’s definitely not Chuck.” The Wolverine warns as he scents the air, he couldn’t get a good whiff of her with all the others around but he could definitely pick up your scent of fear.

“A Wolverine,” her voice was soft and quaint with a bit of an accent, “I wondered when I’d get one of you here.”

“You’re one of Xavier’s.” She points out as she looks him up and down in his suit like a fresh piece of meat, making your skin crawl.

“You know him?” The Wolverine asks and he looks down at her from his nose.

“Oh, I knew him,” she ponders for a moment before twirling around on her heel to look at you and Johnny now, “We shared a womb, I tried to strangle the sly little fellow with my umbilical cord.”

“I’ve never liked roommates,” Wade decides to chime in from the Wolverine’s side, “Mine’s blind, except she can see cocaine for some reason.” He chuckles nervously before turning back to Wolverine who hadn’t torn his hard gaze away from the bald woman just yet.

“Who are you?” The Wolverine finally asks.

“Charles Xavier’s twin, Cassandra Nova.” She grinned as she turns back to them.

“Oh, shit.” “I was an anal birth.” Both men said at the same time at the revelation.

“Jesus Wade.” You shook your head as you watched your best friend flounder in embarrassment, you knew being tied up without his weapons at his side Wade was probably feeling vulnerable right about now, healing factor or not.

“You two are adorable.” She smiled smiled going to pat Wade on his masked cheek before pointing a long bony finger exaggeratedly in Johnny’s direction

“And you,” she says walking up to the two of you once again, “I’ve been trying to catch this little firefly for years, haven’t I, Johnny?”

“You picked the wrong time to make new friends.” She tsked as she held his gaze.

“Oh, Johnny told us all about you!” Wade shouts over to her causing her to turn her gaze back to him and the Wolverine.

“Wade don’t.” You started to say, worry lacing your voice as you knew exactly what was about to come out of his mouth. He had a bad habit of being a terrible gossip.

“Yeah, maybe don’t bub.” The Wolverine agreed with you, looking at Johnny, who’s face had lost all its color, but it was too late.

“Yeah, Johnny told us you’re a psychotic, megalomaniacal asshole, his words not mine.” Wade recited word for word. “Hell bent on domination and pain.”

“You said all that about me?” Cassandra said, sounding almost as if she were flattered by his words as she batted her lashes at Johnny.

“No, no! I didn’t say anything!”

“Sticks and stones, Johnny! Don’t let her intimidate you!” Wade continues to go on about how Johnny had called her a pixie slab of third-rate dime store nut milk before he kept going.

“I have never said any of those words in my entire life!” Johnny shot back nervously but Wade waved him off.

“Ah! The modesty!” Wade laughs throwing his head back with a hand on his chest, “And people think I’m a shit-topper, but this guy,” He chef kisses his fingers through his mask, “next level.”

“This, I-I don’t even know what half of that even means!” Johnny stuttered fearfully.

“My hat’s off to you sir, truly.”

“I didn’t- he’s-, that’s- I-I-I don’t-!”

The next thing you knew it was completely silent before you heard a wet pop as something thick and warm splashed up against you, covering you in it. Turning to look at Johnny to see what it was you’re met with a pair of eyes widely staring at you, Johnny’s muscles and organs all out on display before he crumbles to the ground in a wet heap of viscera and gore.

You fall to your ass as the chains supporting Johnny give way, scrambling to scoot away. You felt tears well up as bile rose to your throat at the sight in front of you. You couldn’t peel your eyes away from the mass that had been your acquaintance just moments ago.

Everyone around you sounds muffled like they’re underwater as you looked down to your trembling hands, they were stained red with blood, you were covered in it from head to toe. Pulling at your restraints you go to scrub the carnage from your face, the rattling of the chains drawing Cassandra’s attention to you. She smiles down at you as she approaches placing a delicate hand under your chin to draw your gaze back to her.

Wade and the Wolverine go to spring forward towards you but are held back by Cassandra’s men, causing her to stop and look between the three of you, her smile growing more wicked.

“What exactly did you three do to wind up here in my humble abode?” She asks as she caresses your face in her hand, watching as the Wolverine tenses.

“Big Yellow here is a backup Anchor Being, and I’m Marvel Jesus, MJ if you're nasty. Honey buns over there is just my ride or die, more emphasis on the ride part. She’s not really important.” Wade answers, trying to deflect, he was trying to diminish you, minimize your importance so she would leave you alone but she still refused to let you go.

“This may be hard to hear, but there’s another British villain and he gonna fuck our universe, if me and jelly bean over there don’t stop him.” He says trying to step forward towards you two again but he’s pulled back by another one of her goons. Cassandra looks back between you and Wade and throws her head back with a laugh.

“Oh, honey, you guys don’t really strike me as a world-saving type.” She says wiping the tears from your eyes as she finally decides to let you go, turning herself back to Wade as she walks up to him.

“Oh? Did I hit a nerve?” She asks as she circles him, Wade is eerily quiet for a moment as he looks you over, making sure Cassandra hadn’t done anything to you that he had missed.

“Listen I didn’t want it to come to this but either you help us, or my friend here is gonna sing the entirety of the Greatest Showman, with zero warm up.” Wade finally blinks away from you as he nods his head back to the Wolverine at his side.

“Where’d you get the chair?” The Wolverine asks, completely ignoring Wade as Cassandra approaches.

“Once in a while, I do get an Xavier through here.” She shrugs as if it were the most boring thing in the world to talk about. “He didn’t care to find me so I found him instead.”

The Wolverine goes to open his mouth again when he’s interrupted by Wade letting out a long drawn out groan. “Oh my goooood, gen Z and they’re trauma-bragging!”

“Can’t you just stuff it down, or turn it into accomplishments or cancer like the rest of us?” He whines dramatically.

“I’m not like the rest of you,” she tells Wade before moving back to stand in front of the Wolverine “Except maybe the Wolverine.”

“Now we could be truly terrifying together.” She said circling around him as she holds his gaze

“Yeah? You’re that scary, huh?” He asked her not breaking eye contact as she does so. His fingers twitching at his side waiting to unleash his claws.

“The TVA certainly thought so, that’s why they sent me here before I could walk.” she says coming to stand in front of him again, she looks off into the distance for a moment, lost in thought, before Turning her attention back to him. “It’s the best thing that ever happened to me, I love it here.”

“You live in a garbage dump.” Wade chimes in but she simply smirks up at him before turning away, walking back over to where you still sat shocked on the ground.

“The Void is a paradise, I can wield my power here without shame.” She says over her shoulder to the two men.

“Unfortunately, I had no Charles Xavier to teach me temperance.” She says raising your face with her chin. She goes to touch your forehead with a single finger, dragging it down until it sat in between your eyes. “I have to get my hands dirty.”

Slowly she began to push in causing you to cry out at the intrusion. The Wolverine breaks free of his capture’s hold and goes to lunge at Cassandra, claws drawn, before she holds up a hand stopping him mid-air.

“That’s not very nice now is it?” She says without looking away from your pain riddled face as she continues to finger you between the eyes. With a flick of her wrist she sends Wolverine pummeling down into the ground until he’s coughing up dirt, only his claws still visible, before flinging him far away, out of sight.

“Now then, if I can’t have myself a Wolverine, I’ll have to settle for the next best thing.” She said pushing in even further. “His little devil.”

You scream out in pain as a pressure builds behind your eyelids and in your sinuses. Flashes of images passed over you like your nightmares before. First you were strapped to a table as Ajax painfully tore into you and stitched you back up again. He never bothered to use anesthesia on you when he “operated”, always said it was a waste of time and resources, next you were in a tank filled with water as you banged on the glass trying to get out so you wouldn’t drown.

More memories flashed before your eyes flickering like a tv switching channels, memories of your childhood with your alcohol dad and getting diagnosed with cancer right out of high school, memories of you first meeting Wade and that time when your healing factor kicked in for the first time saving your life, all of it passed by in a blur as you continued to cry out, it felt like your head was being split in two.

“What’s this? You don’t even know about this yet do you?” Cassandra suddenly asks you as if she had found something with her digging, she dips another finger into you as she leans forward watched Wade struggle to get to you from the corner of her eye with a smirk. “Don’t worry darling, I can help you with that.”

Suddenly there’s a pulling sensation as the thumbing from before returns at full force. Your head feels like it’s being ripped apart and pulled back together at the same time.

“Relax, I got you.”

I got you.

It echoes over and over again with the pounding of your head until it all comes to a stop as you black out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wade stops struggling momentarily as he watches you fall limp. Cassandra stands to her feet flicking your brain juice from her fingers as she turns to her.

“Tie her up, I feel this is about to get real interesting.” Her men scramble away from Wade in a hurry to do as she asks before she could do the same to them. Cassandra raised a single nimble finger in the air as she approached Wade readying herself to enter his brain.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I don’t want the smoke!” He holds up his hands in surrender. Eyes still on your limp frame for a moment before he tears his gaze away to look at Cassandra pleadingly. “We don’t have any beef with you. I just want to get us home and save my friends.”

“Well, the thing is, I could get you home.” She said as if contemplating it. “But I don’t want to.” She turns her attention back to her men who were now surrounding you with ropes as they got ready to bind your unconscious body.

Reaching down to his boot with his now free hands Wade pulls out a small hunting knife, baby knife as you had so cutely dubbed it, and raises it, threatening her with it.

Cassandra smiles at him as she watches him with a cocked head.

“Trying to play hero?” She asks

“I don’t wanna have to do this to ya Calliou but you hurt my friend so now it’s baby knife’s turn to fuck you in the face.” Wade says, nodding down to his knife in hand. Suddenly Cassandra disappears from his line of vision and before he has a chance to register where she went he feels fingers starting to dig into his skull.

“What do you really want, Wade Wilson?” Cassandra asks from behind him as she starts to sink her fingers into his head, phasing through his mask and skin.

“Uh, your fingers are inside me, but not in a good way.” He groans as she starts to dive in deeper, watching as his memories ticked by.

“You’re so lost Mr. Wilson, let me help you.” She cooes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the ground where she had left you, you start to sink even deeper into your head as an unfamiliar pull in your stomach makes you roll at the new sensation.

I got you.

It keeps repeating over and over again like a mantra as your skin begins to prickle up in a cold sweat. You were laid out in a desert somewhere so the warmth was unavoidable but the heat you were starting to feel different it started from a coil in the pit of your belly and grew more and more unbearable as it spread. It was all over you, on your skin and even inside you and the thumping sound? God the thumping sound was getting louder and louder and so much more concentrated, it felt like your ears were about to bleed. It was all too much at once, it had to stop, you had to make it stop, you thought as you writhed on the ground.

You could feel your nails and teeth as if they were growing, becoming longer, more razor sharp and you could smell everything. There was the smell of the dirt and the earth beneath you followed by the smell of sweat and the stink of something sour. Then you caught a whiff of something sickly almost cancerous, it made your gut twist but it was vaguely familiar to you, then there was something musky and comforting followed by something more floral with just a hint of blood that made your skin crawl at the smell of it.

You could hear everything too. Clambering to cover your ears with your hands, you tried to shield out the thumping sounds that were driving you absolutely crazy, only they weren’t just random thumps anymore, some were more calm while others were more rapid, almost like the heartbeat of someone scared, it was giving you a migraine.

It was driving you to your wits end, you needed someone, anyone to make it stop. Just as it all seemed to be too much to bear there was an eerie calm that washed over you for just a moment before it all came crashing down all around you as you felt someone’s grimy hand brush up against your upper arm.

Snapping your eyes open you rose to your feet, grabbing at the first person you saw, the one grabbing your arm, holding him by his neck as you stood. The tighter you held him the man by his throat the weaker his sounds got for your sensitive ears, there was a resounding gurgle as your claws dug in sinking into his trachea before it all became quiet again. It was peaceful only for a second.

Another hand reached out, snatching you up by your hair, he screams something unintelligible in your face, probably about killing his friend, but you don’t hear him, you don’t care to as you reach up to pull him closer, sinking your teeth into his exposed neck and ripping out a chunk as you pull away. The foul taste of his blood fills your mouth making your stomach lurch.

Bullets start flying now as he hits the ground grasping at his bleeding throat. Spitting out the disgusting chuck of flesh that assaulted your taste buds you lunge at the next person closest to you, one of the ones who was firing. Bullets pierced through you but the wounds healed up almost instantly as you tore through the army of mutant goons, some tried to run and fight back but that only made you angry, more bloodthirsty as you worked your way through them.

Blood flowed through your clawed hands as you clumsily hacked and slashed your way through the throngs of men firing at you. Soon the bullets didn’t even penetrate your skin as they defected off of you leaving only minor bumps in their wake. Just as some of the men started to surround you trying their best to hold you down with whatever restraints they could find you let out an ear piercing shriek. Everyone around you clutched their hands to their ears, trying to stop the sound from bursting their ear drums, even the man dressed in all red you had smelled earlier was bent over in pain. Everyone except that bald chick, who simply watched you, eyes blown wide with excitement and awe as she smiled at you.

You made quick work of the goons that were left, the others having made their escape as you slaughtered their teammates. Slowly you stood from the body you had just dropped, blood dripped from your clawed hands as you turned your attention towards the only other person standing before you besides the red man who looked over you in shock and absolute horror. Awww dCassandra. Your foggy brain had told you, that's what she was called. You vaguely recognized her, remembered the pain she put you through, the fear. She had to pay.

Running at her on all fours you thrust your body into the air, lunging for her throat before you're caught and stopped mid-air by an invisible force.

“My aren’t you the little animal.”

You crawl and snarl as you foam at the mouth struggling at the invisible force holding you back from ripping her apart like you did all the others. Suddenly your body is situated up right, still floating above Cassandra’s head as she looks you over with another one of those sickeningly sweet smiles of hers.

“As much as I love your enthusiasm darling, I think we need to teach this rabid dog a little more about control, don’t you?”

With a twist of her wrist you feel a pressure, first it was slight then it intensified tenfold. It felt like an elephant had sat right on your chest as the force continued to build and build until you heard a snap. At first you didn’t know what it was, until you’re hit with a wall of pain that you realized as you cried out, she had broken your ribs. The pain was almost too much to comprehend as it snapped something back awake inside of you. Your teeth and nails start to turn back to their normal length as the thumping you were hearing earlier begins to dull, something shines inside of her eyes as she watches your body return to normal.

“Now that is interesting.” Cassandra all but giggles as she observes you.

Just as she opens her mouth to speak again, six adamantium blades shoot through her chest as the Wolverine, finally free from his dirt prison, stabs Cassandra from behind, forcing her to drop you from her hold.

She looks down in shock for a minute as blood trickles down her chin before she smiles back at the Wolverine, tapping her chest lightly forcing his claws to retract against his will with a snakt.

With a flick of her wrist she sends the Wolverine flying backwards again, this time not as far as she turns her attention back to you, who was slowly and cautiously being approached by Wade. A crack of thunder and a spark of lighting catches her attention as she looks up into the distance and grins at the approach of Alioth.

“Well, this has been fun, but the big guy needs to eat, and the rent is due.” She says turning on her heel as she begins to retreat further into her compound wiping the blood from her bottom lip, “By the way, you’re the rent.”

From the ground you shook your head, trying to free yourself from the brain fog as you tried to piece together what just happened. First you were tied up to Johnny then his skin evaporated and the next thing you knew Cassandra was finger fucking your brain in front of everyone and then….nothing.

Why did your body hurt so much and what the actual fuck had just happened to you?

Just as you were about to ask aloud what was going on, Wade’s red boots were in your line of vision as he scooped you up to your feet, tucking you up under his arm as he dragged you away from the death cloud that was steadily approaching the compound.

“Up we go little Miss Murder!” He says as you pick up the pace.

In front of you you spot the Wolverine as he kicks and claws at the scrapped sentinel leg that had knocked you unconscious earlier, forcing it to start up with a loud rumble.

“You guys coming or what?!” He yells over the roar of the boot’s rocket as it starts to lift him into the air, he holds out a hand for you to take but Wade beats you to it as he snatches it up, sandwiching you between him and the Wolverine as the leg takes off into the air.

#Spotify #logan howlett imagine #logan howlett x reader #wolverine imagine #wolverine x reader #logan howlett #wolverine #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool 3 #platonic deadpool x reader #deadpool x reader #like a prayer

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spencer-sweets · 4 months ago

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Marvel Fic Recs |James Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson

so like everyone with eyes - i found deadpool and wolverine wildly homoerotic. so, i have been keeping my eye out for some good fanfic of them. while i love the honda odyssey fics, this list is mainly longer narrative or character driven fics. I'll add more as they are completed and I read them.

Unwanted, Dead or Alive by fanficbug Explicit 29,666 “Logan,” Colossus chided. He turned his rage back on Colossus. “No. Fuck you, bolts for brains. No Deadpool? No. Fucking. Wolverine.” *** The X-Men of this universe want Logan to rejoin, but he's not interested unless they let Wade join too. Meanwhile, another threat makes itself known in the form of a skull-faced mercenary.

this one had a nice dose of action and pining and its just really great. i always like when these fanfictions feel like they are actually set in the world they are supposed to be in - with villains and danger just lurking about - and i always enjoy a good fight scene.

Newton's Third Law by capitalismwasamistake Explicit 30,385 “Come on, Wolfie, let’s not fight!” Wade sings as he evades the first swipe with an absurd dance move. “We’ll go dancing tomorrow night!” He retaliates with a kick to Logan’s jaw then both his katanas enter play. “Sorry, I know you wanted more of that song, but we don’t have the licensing budget. How about this instead? Stop!” “In the name of love–” “Before you break my heart–” *** Or, Logan is thrilled he can finally fight someone without holding back. Wade is horny and touch-starved. Oh, and there's The Problem.

this fic earned it's explicit rating. the dove is dead with this one folks. there is a lot of gore and fighting and a vivisection involved but it is a sweet story with a happy ending.

i’m just a human trying to avoid my certain doom (that is falling in love with you) by dazecorr Teen+ 44,493 He shifted in his seat, the leather sticking to his skin as he absorbed Wade's colourful description. Gun. Even a knife would do. "Trust me, DP." Dopinder’s voice was earnest, almost pleading. "You'll see, everything will play out fine." With a final eye roll, Wade ended the call and slipped the phone into his pocket. As he opened the passenger door and climbed back into the Odyssey, Logan caught the tail end of a begrudging sigh. "Alright, Dopinder's playing the role of our cross-country cupid, so I guess we're doing this." Wade said, his voice cutting through the tension with its playful edge. "But if I end up thrown out of this 'soccer mom special' in the middle of the desert, I'm haunting you first." "Haunt away, you’ll just get a fist-full of salt thrown at your face." Logan muttered, a smirk threatening to break the stern façade. "Keep your hands off the radio." OR WHERE dopinder's getting married, vanessa is the best wing-woman, ellie is a gossip and logan is a very homosexual train wreck OR a poolverine slow burn-ish road trip fic in an immortalised honda odyssey.

im not typically a fan of road trip fics but i really enjoyed this one. it was quiet and soft story between these two. it explores both of them and their characters without the action or violence of the d&p movie.

#deadpool and wolverine #marvel #deadpool #wade wilson #wolverine #james logan howlett #logan howlett #wade wilson/james logan howlett #wade wilson/logan howlett #poolverine #deadclaws #fic rec #ao3

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curiositysavesthecat · 4 months ago

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notakugelblitz · 4 months ago

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YOUR SONG • THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (season 1)

Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Five, Ben, Viktor

just imagine these songs being in the OST and playing during those “scenes” ;) you’re number 8 btw. english isn’t my first language so sorry if you spot any mistake. enjoy ☂️

LUTHER

/ your power : telepathy /

"I'm going to miss you..." "I'll miss you too..."

Against his broad chest, you held back your tears as his hand gently caressed your scalp.

"We'll talk every night, won't we?" "I promise..."

You pulled away and looked at him for a long time. He fixed his gaze on your lips, weighing the pros and cons of his intentions. Just as he was about to close the distance between you, your father burst into the room.

"It's time to go, Number 1. Clear out, Number 8, this isn't the time to distract him."

Luther finally planted a quick kiss on your cheek, leaving you breathless, a terrible frustration swelling within you.

Days, months, and years passed. Every night, you would retreat to the roof to gaze at the moon, talking to Luther thanks to your telepathy ability. You often fell asleep first, and Grace would come to cover you with a blanket when the nights grew a bit chilly. Luther loved to hum a song, Flares, as if to remind himself that you would always be there for him, sending him out flares.

DIEGO

/ your power : see the future /

A soft light filtered into the gymnasium's basement. A faint music coming from upstairs woke you up. You grumbled and stormed up the stairs. Wearing nothing but an old t-shirt belonging to your brother—and, incidentally, your boyfriend (no, thankfully, it’s not incest)—you flung the door open and saw Diego dancing with a mop in the ring. You burst out laughing, which made him jump.

"Am I dreaming, or are you laughing at me?"

You tried to respond, but tears were welling up in the corners of your eyes. Bent over with laughter, you suddenly felt warm droplets splash across your face: he had just splashed you with the mop. You stared at him for a long moment and jumped on the ring trying to catch him.

A wild fight ensued, in rhythm with the music, with the floor becoming extremely slippery due to the water. You delivered several kicks at him, which he blocked with the broomstick. It was a fight worthy of a Bruce Lee movie. Since both of you were very skilled in martial arts (and because you could anticipate each of his moves thanks to your power of visualizing the near future), you lowered your guard to let him win for once. Diego grabbed you by the waist, and you both tumbled near the entrance.

You ended up on top of each other, just like in all those wonderful clichés. Just as Number 2 was about to kiss you, the boss of the place stormed in. He flew into a rage and rushed toward the radio. Unfortunately, he slipped and crashed face-first onto the floor, making you both burst out laughing. Well... you had to clean up everything afterward, and in silence. Still, those moments of total hilarity were and still are the best ...

ALLISON

/ your power : water manipulation /

Having become a renowned actress, Allison traveled extensively. As for Patrick, he worked a lot. You were the perfect candidate to look after Claire. Having left the Umbrella Academy at the same time as your sister, you were inseparable, and whenever she returned from a shoot, you were so happy to spend time together.

Claire adored you, and you managed to calm her tantrums easily, greatly relieving Allison.

One evening, as your sister came home late, you put Claire to bed. She was having trouble falling asleep. So, you waved your finger over a glass, filling it with fresh water, and placed it on her nightstand. Then, with a soft and soothing voice, you hummed the lullaby Wendy sings to the Lost Boys in Peter Pan, her favorite cartoon. It was a routine that worked every time. Allison arrived in the middle of your performance and deliberately stayed behind the door to listen. Once Claire was asleep, you chuckled.

"I know you're there," you whispered. "I know you know." she giggles. "I heard a rumor that you stop spying on me." "You know I can’t help it. It’s adorable. Thanks for everything."

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. It didn’t bother you at all. You went downstairs and opened a bottle of wine to celebrate her return. Patrick left you two alone, and you silently thanked him because these moments with your sister were the best.

KLAUS

/ your power : animal metamorphosis /

It was an evening like any other. Or at least, that’s what you hoped. You were waiting for Klaus outside the nightclub he was in so you could take him home. You preferred to be the one who did so rather than letting him leave alone in a terrible state. As the agreed-upon time had passed, you sighed and stormed out of your car. You entered the club without any difficulty, as the bouncer recognized you immediately. It had its perks to be a member of the Umbrella Academy back then. You searched the entire club for Klaus and finally found him on the rooftop. He was shouting incomprehensible things while walking along the edge of the building. You rushed to join him.

"Klaus, get down. Right now," you ordered, pulling on his sleeve. "Oh Y/N, I’m so happy to see you!" he chirped, his persistent sniffles confirming to you that he had relapsed again. "It’s not funny, Klaus, you could..."

Before you could even finish your sentence, he slipped off the edge of the building and fell into the void. Immediately, you transformed into a falcon and dove toward the ground, but it was too late: he had already crashed. Blood was pouring from the back of his head, but that didn’t stop you from kneeling beside him and resting his head on your lap.

"Damn it, Klaus..." you cried, pressing your forehead against his. "You’re such an idiot..."

It was as if your world had just collapsed, all because of some damn white powder and a brother who was a little too dependent. Suddenly, he took a huge breath, coming back from the dead. You were completely shocked.

"Oh! I knew you’d catch me. You always catch me," he chuckled, pressing his temple against your chest like a little child.

And then he fell asleep. You were stunned and took him back to your car. He had been dead... and then alive. High but alive. You didn’t quite understand what had just happened, and you never talked to him about it until he discovered his ability to resurrect in 1963. That explained a lot …

FIVE

/ your power : healing /

Since Five disappeared, not a day had passed without you searching for a way to find him. You studied all sorts of science books, looking for theories on time travel or anything related. Then, you expanded your research to history books, wondering if he might have done something that left a mark on time. When you were too tired to read, you helped Viktor make peanut butter sandwiches just in case he reappeared.

After leaving the Umbrella Academy when you came of age, you continued your research, scouring every library. But what you didn’t know was that a certain organization known as The Temps Commission had taken an interest in you and was considering recruiting you. Whether it was for your relentless determination, your knowledge of time travel, or your healing abilities, you could only be an asset.

When The Handler found you in an aisle of the Dallas Central Library, you immediately accepted her offer. If anyone had information on Five, it would be them. But your disappointment was immense when you found no trace of him once you were there. That didn’t stop you from continuing your search for many years, so much so that, after a while, Herb secretly helped you through the Infinite Switchboard. And that’s how you found Five, in the middle of the apocalypse. Having no right to interfere with the timeline, you begged The Handler to recruit him as an agent, just like you.

"I’ll think about it," she had said, even though she had already been watching him for 30 years.

Then, one fine day, you were summoned to The Handler’s office. Five was there too.

"Five, I present to you your partner, Y/N Hargreeves. Well, you already know each other. I’ll leave you to it."

She left the room, leaving you two standing there, arms hanging by your sides.

"I found you," he let out.

"I found you," you replied. "I trusted the signs, so I made my way back to you somehow."

"Pathetic," he chuckled, though a smile tugged at his lips.

"I'm glad to see you too, Five," you sighed, smiling just as much.

BEN

/ your power : invisibility /

As Ben was reading, an upbeat music filled the house. The 11-year-old boy went to the living room and saw Grace and you dancing the Rock'N Roll while laughing. Mom was teaching you some steps, her eternal pristine smile fixed on her face.

"Oh, Ben, you’re here! Do you want to give it a try?"

You jumped at the sight of your brother and suddenly disappeared, your cheeks turning red.

"Y/N, show yourself…" Grace sighed, amused.

"Yeah, you were doing great!" exclaimed the young boy.

You reappeared, looking at him with hesitation.

"Really?"

"Cross my heart!"

"Alright, kids, let's continue! Take my hand and follow my steps!"

So you listened to him, dancing awkwardly on the living room carpet. Your siblings watched you from the walkway. At one point, Ben let go of Mom and made his tentacles appear. He began making sort of waves in rhythm, which made everyone laugh. Your father and Pogo were in the surveillance room. The chimpanzee glanced at his master: he was smiling discreetly. Eventually, all the other children came to join you, even Viktor, who had always felt excluded. These moments of joy and freedom were rare. Your gaze met Ben's, sparkling. So, this was happiness.

After Ben's death, whenever you felt sad, your radio would turn on by itself to play that eternal song, warming your heart. Much later, Klaus told you that Ben's ghost had been watching over you and, not wanting to scare you, this was the most discreet way to comfort you.

VIKTOR

On this September 6th, 1997, everyone felt relaxed because it was Saturday, and every first Saturday of the month was a day off for the Umbrella Academy. No training until Monday. Of course, the children were encouraged to study, but that was certainly not on your mind, nor on Viktor's. As you were watching TV, sitting on the floor, a news flash interrupted your documentary on Canadian otters. Lady Diana's funeral was being broadcast live from London.

"She was so beautiful," you sighed, resting your chin on your knees, which were encircled by your arms. "I'm sure it wasn't an accident," Viktor murmured conspiratorially, looking absent-minded.

His pale face suddenly lit up, and he immediately straightened.

"Look! It's Elton John!"

Immediately, you pressed your little noses against the screen to watch the singer enter the abbey. The presenter announced that he was going to sing a final tribute to his late best friend.

"Move away from the screen, you'll hurt your eyes," Grace gently instructed, holding a tray filled with cookies.

“Mom! Can you record this, please?" you exclaimed without even turning around. “Of course, Number 8," she replied. "Imagine if we could play this song ! You with the violin and me with the piano !" you giggled.

Viktor nodded with a large smile, still absorbed by the man's performance. Ever since, you've watched repeatedly the tape Grace made you, learning the partition thanks to your perfect pitch. You'd usually play along to distract your father who appreciated it. Oh he never said so but his silence was quite approving.

#Spotify #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy preferences #preferences #umbrella academy x reader #umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #y/n #five x y/n #headcanon #tua

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ladymaigrey · 5 months ago

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Deadpool/Wolverine: I cannot rant enough about this film!!

From the opening credit scene, which was a blood, guts, and 90s dance music comedy masterpiece, to the foul-mouthed epic cameo of the post-end-credit scene, this was a labour of Ryan Reynolds/Hugh Jackman love. The kind that requires a bucket of soap and water to clean up afterwards.

This is a movie that knows exactly what a hole MCU has climbed into. And it snapped on those rubber gloves, lubed up, reached in, while cracking every fourth-wall-breaking joke imaginable, and pulled the struggling franchise out by its testicles.

It is AUTHENTICALLY gloriously Marvel. Not just latest MCU, but all of the cinematic Marvel, with tongue firmly in the (butt)cheek.

Yet, it is not just irreverence, blasphemy, and dick and ass jokes (and dick-in-ass jokes). There is the level of heart in it that can only come from actors who have embodied these characters for decades. Who defined them for a generation.

The cameo cast is INSANE, but it is not a clunky ill-fitting mess that usually results when one shoehorns big names into movies for ratings (looking at you Dr Strange and the Dungheap of Plotholeness).

And, like all Deadpool movies, it is a happy film. It'll have you bopping in your seat, clapping and laughing till you cry, despite the amounts of red paint splatter that would get even Rob Zombie's respect.

Go see it. It's a dream.

Ryan Reynolds's HiFi HD wet dream.

#deadpool #wolverine #deadpool/wolverine #marvel

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flamekinz · 5 months ago

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Came across a post and had Thoughts.

And the post was this:

And my first thought was ‘does this have a point’?

Yes, and it was click/rage bait. But what if we had critical analysis skills?

What’s been eating me is that these two scenes are not comparable beyond ‘cringy dance sequence’. But because there’s one line of connection if you squint:

The thing here is the difference between entertainment and enticement.

I feel the She Hulk scene is enticement, it’s meant to pique an interest and keep a viewer hooked to keep watching the next episode. It’s a shock tactic and it’s rather incongruous with the show itself. It went from a client signing documents to a twerk session. For what it was trying to do it wasn’t bad, it was just not good. A celebratory dance that so happens to be provocative. ‘Ooo, that’s not something you see every day, we’re so quirky.’ Ugh.

Deadpool on the other hand, while just as jarring of an introduction, doesn’t feel out of place because Deadpool was already bringing an unserious energy to his situation, and for what it’s worth, his dancing is even completely separated from the opening fight scene, it’s its own cutaway gag. It’s meant to be entertaining because it knows it doesn’t have to beg to keep your attention for another 20 minutes. And it fits in with his 4th wall breaking shtick.

TLDR; She Hulk dances for a shock factor, Deadpool dances for an entertainment factor.

#deadpool #deadpool and wolverine #she hulk #marvel #mcu

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warnerswilsons · 5 months ago

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All my favorite things in Deadpool and Wolverine. Spoilers for the movie below, so read at your own risk.

Holy shit. I saw this movie yesterday and I loved it so much. I felt like the trailers were deceptive in a pretty clever way, showing what appears to be Wade having a great life post-Deadpool 2, and I thought that was a really smart move. Deadpool is not only my favorite marvel character, but also my favorite comic book character, and I was so happy to see that everything I loved about the character and how he’s written in the movies felt not only in tact but elevated. Anyway, here’s a list of some of my favorite parts of the film.

-The opening sequence with ‘Bye Bye Bye.’ I’m not even surprised that Wade would know the choreo. I love fights timed to music with dancing involved. It was so much fun!

-Wade calling Wolverine ‘peanut’ throughout. That was so funny! Also when he calls wolvie with his comic accurate height ‘short king.’ Of course he would.

-I honestly loved the dynamic between Wade and Logan as a whole. It’s been a while since I’ve seen any of the classic X-Men films but this really felt like Wolverine in his true form or something. There was just something about seeing him in costume, not bound by a PG-13 rating, and bantering and trading insults with Deadpool. I just really loved this take on him and his development throughout the story.

-Paradox and Cassandra were both very compelling villains. They were very entertaining and had some great moments throughout the film. Paradox’s intro especially stood out to me.

-Johnny. Storm. Have I seen those Fantastic Four movies? No. But I may go back and watch solely for Chris Evans’s Human Torch. I need to write a fic where he lives and he, Wade, and Logan end up in a trio because these specific versions of them would be such a chaotic team. I can see Wade and Johnny eventually hitting it off. I just want more of him.

-I wasn’t expecting Blade to be a favorite character, but he was fantastic. I’ve only seen Blade: Trinity, but I definitely plan on going back and watching the trilogy, because he was such a highlight for me this film.

-Logan and Laura’s dynamic! I haven’t seen Logan, but I loved seeing an older Laura interacting with an older version of her dad. There’s something bittersweet about it.

-The Deadpool Corps! I loved seeing all the different variants of Deadpool. The last thing I read with the corps was Deadpool Kills Deadpool, which wasn’t a huge deviation, but the scene and fight with them felt more fun and lighthearted (and most of them didn’t die!). Dogpool is absolutely adorable, and I loved seeing Ladypool at the front and center.

I’m going to be thinking about this movie for so long now and I’m so glad I got to see it so soon!

#deadpool and wolverine #wade wilson #james logan howlett #wolverine #Deadpool #Deadpool and Wolverine spoilers #deadpool spoilers #Cyd’s sentiments

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sapphire600 · 4 months ago

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Learning that Ryan wasn’t the doing dancing in the opening credits in Deadpool and Wolverine is like when Chris wasn’t actually barefoot in the chase scene of the First Avenger.

#deadpool 3 #deadpool and wolverine #ryan reynolds #chris evans #captain america #captain america first avenger #I randomly thought of this

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galactandro · 5 months ago

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Y’ALL.

I GOT TO WATCH DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE.

also EPIC spoilers about the movie so here’s your warning and yes i will be ranting on for a very very long time

starting off THAT OPENING SCENE LMAOOOO

WHEN HE STARTED KILLING THE TVA AGENTS WITH LOGANS SPINE AND HEAD 😭 AND THEN HE WAS DANCING I ACTUALLY DIED.

then we got sent back in time and we met HAPPY HOGAN. I WAS TOTALLY NOT EXPECTING TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED.

then we got all of those fourth wall jokes and the whole feige/cœcåinę jokes oml. then we got a whole tva thing (that was very inappropriate in more ways than one)

bros stapled hair falls out 😭 and we see a little fake hair stuck to his hair for the whole thing.

he wakes up in the tva and we meet Paradox (aka the worst person ever i absolutely hate him-)

ANYWAY he gives us the whole “matter and be something” spiel (AND WHY WAS THOR CRYING) but wade is like stfu imma go find another logan to be my anchor being

THEN WE GET A MONTAGE OF DIFFERENT LOGAN VARIENTS AND OMG HAHAHHAHAHAHA

first we get comic accurate wolverine BEING SO SHORT HE HAD TO JUMP OFF THE BAR CHAIR 😭

then i think we got the 80s afro wolverine (hilarious)

and then we got the wolverine hulk show down AND WADE GOT FLUNG I LAUGHED SO MUCH HAHA

and then AND THEN. WE GOT HENRY CAVILL WOLVERINE WHICH I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE IN MY LIFE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

then we’re finally met (i think) with our “worst logan in the multiverse” (which is total bs) but we see him wearing his outfit (which i’m pretty sure we’ve never seen hugh jackman wear)

then they get pruned and i was so dam confuzzled. cuz i was like hold up im sorry what

but then we see them appear in the void with 20 CENTURY FOX STATUE AHHAHAHAHAH. THE ANOUNT OF MARVEL, FOX, AND DISNEY JOKES WE GET IN THIS. like when deadpool says “welcome to disney, mr. pg-13 except for one movie” LMAOOOO

we get an epic deadpool vs wolverine fight and we get like a lot of those because they’re not trying to really kill each other and both of them heal super fats so it’s jsut comedy at this point

and now

WE SEE

CHRIS EVANS CAMEO. AND WE FOR SURE THINK THAT ITS A CAPTAIN AMERICA VARIANT. AND WE ALLGET READY FOR AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

and then

WE GET A FLAME ON

when my movie theatre watched this basically everyone was stunned. like we started absolutely going wild.

we see sabretooth, pyro (which i’m pretty sure is the same actor from X2), and toad like hello? i already thought this was crazy. anyway sabretooth gets his head sorta sliced off by wolverine (also why isn’t there a yellow font on tumblr?) anyway

we get a fight and they end up getting captured and get driven to CASSANDRA NOVA. LIKE WHAT. SINCE WHEN WAS CASSANDRA NOVA THE VILLAIN sorta OF THIS. BROIOOOOOOO

she brutally murders our beloved johnny storm after wade said he said a bunch of very odd things about her that was hilarious.

fast forward A LOT we were basically given a bunch of plot advancements and all of that stuff but i don’t want this to be super long so imma cut this short

we get four AWESOME CAMEOS.

ELEKTRA

BLADE

GAMBIT OMG GAMBIT WHOS CHANNING TATUM

AND X-23! LAURA YIPPEEEEEEEEEE

we get these awesome cameos and my movie theatre erupted into wild cheers bc we got the same actors from the original blade and x-23. WE GOT GAMBIT WHO IS LEGIT ONE OF MY FAV MUTANTS. WE GOT ELEKTRA LIKE BRO WHAT

AND WE GOT TBHS THING WITH GAMBIT SAYING ABSOLUTE NONSENSE AND DEADPOOL SAYS, “i’m sorry gorgeous, but i feel like we’re missing some critical exposition. who’s your dialect coach, the MINIONS?” AND I ABSOLUTELY LOST IT THAT WAS SO HILARIOUS AHJHAHHAHA

after this they make some plan about how to get logan and wade back to their (sorta) timeline and go ahead to carry it out. we get an epic “final boss” like fight and cassandra shows that she has a sling ring that seems to be from a dr strange variant with pieces of the reality and time stone (i think).

next we get this whole thing with the 100 or so deadpool’s with blake lively and ryan reynolds’ kids as different variants. and they also snuck in a little stan lee cameo there (miss the legend ❤️)

THEN WE SEE PETERPOOOOL WHO ABSOLUTELY SAVED DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE A THOUSAND PERCENT.

we have that whole thing with the time ripper and how if a person goes to stop it the anti matter and matter absolutely would rip them apart. we see deadpool make the hero play after stalling for a bit but he couldn’t reach the other side. THEN WOLVERINE STEPS IN AND DOES IT TOO OML (also i’ve noticed i haven’t talked that much about wolverine BUT I PROMISE I LOVE HIM 😭) we get shirtless hugh jackman and everybody in my movie theatre went wild… again. it was SO FUNNY 🤣. we get a whole ending with b-15 as the tva leader sorta. and paradox getting reprimanded as he should and we for sure thought that they’re dead.

NO THEY ARE NOT. they walk in like the queens they are and then that’s basically the ending.

EXCEPT FOR THE EXTRA CREDIT SCENE. then we see that all the things that deadpool accused johnny of saying before he basically got his skin ripped off WERE ACTUALLY TRUE. WE ALL COLLECTIVELY SAID LANGUAGE BECAUSE OML IVE NEVER SEEN CHRIS EVANS SO DIRTY MOUTHER (not me not understanding half the things that he said-)

ANYWAY I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS MOVIE. IT WAS WORTH IT. i noticed cute little easter eggs and the cameos omg the cameos

GO WATCH IT IF YOU HAVENT

bye 👋

*hehe we saw gambit (if you can’t tell i love his character)

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