#dazai was so sassy

[emirrea]

Idk if it's just me, but I feel like today's bsd episode was probably the best episode in the series so far

[calmlb]

double black (small)

source: @/dazaiarchives

[kyouka-supremacy]

Again the sickness speaking but here's something that has been going through my mind since forever:

I feel like a good way to mitigate a lot of discontent with the doa arc ending and in general the whole Dazai-being-flawless issue bsd has going on is by comparing bsd to Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle. Please bear with me for two minutes.

When Sherlock Holmes was being published, people were intrigued and enamoured by Holmes' brilliant and charming, crimes-solving figure. People read the stories for the pure joy of being left gaping at his superhuman wits again and again; they didn't want to see him fail, they wanted to be shocked and amazed by his genius. When Holmes died and then came back, nobody lamented it being unrealistic, because realism was not what people were reading the books for! They were reading to be impressed, to cheer for the hero and then take satisfaction in seeing him turn out victorious. That's the author-reader deal that was made there: to impress and to enjoy being impressed.

As of recently I feel like we've been asking from bsd something it never promised us in the first place. Maybe it's just not that kind of series! Maybe it's more about surprising the reader with how the hero is going to make it and less about highlighting his flaws and insecurities. And like, that's okay! That's why Dazai getting away with it isn't it him getting away with it “again”, it's just how bsd is; in a way, it's what makes bsd bsd.

I think it really clicked with me like it never did before when I watched the last episode of season 5; because the arc ending felt so shocking and unpredictable, very deus-ex-machina trope, a little underwhelming in its lowering the stakes that were there the whole time, and yet so extremely on brand with bsd, I didn't even have it in me to be disappointed. It was so similar to the Guild's arc ending and even more to the Cannibalism arc ending, and maybe it really is just a pattern, maybe it really is what bsd aspires to be, and that's okay too.

Also, I can't stretch this enough: if it's not your cup of tea, that's fine. I can't say it's mine either. But I feel like criticizing bsd now for how it's always been falls quite short, because it really feels like demanding from it what it never promised to deliver in the first place. That's just as far as my current perception of the series goes, though, so feel free to disagree with me on this.

[chocsra]

✧ STORMBRINGER CHUUYA AS YOUR GUY BSF IS ....

✧ w/c: 588 ✧ content: drabbles & headcanons of cute things with stormbringer! chuuya

☆ a shocked yet distasteful groan pulling from his throat when you show him a picture of a celebrity you find cute, grumbling about how your taste in men sucks ass. you didn't think he was jealous, just shocked at the creature he was looking at. though sometimes, you barely graze the envy on his face when you actually interact with another boy; especially if he's your type, because chuuya knows. still, he brushes your friendly smile with stupidity—because the dude you're talking with 'isn't even all that.'

☆ like having an annoyed caretaker, always keeping an eye out for you, rebuking your recklessness. just appalled that you have this much carelessness for your life on a day to day basis. but even though he'd scold you gently for anything stupid or clumsy you pull, you'd always find a gloved hand reaching out to you, providing support. either when you've stumbled, or you're about to jump off a ledge from even the smallest of heights.

☆ falling face first into the ground whilst trying to fight off one of the port mafia's powerful enemies because your shoelaces were untied. humilated, you found yourself sitting on a bench as chuuya unashamedly scolds you for your rookie mistake. knelt down as he still ties your shoes. "do you double knot your laces?" he'll ask, if you already said yes, the boy would finish one shoe with a tight squeeze, before gently patting your ankle to lace the other one, "well you better start triple knottin' em!"

☆ late night calls about the silliest things. chuuya would have his camera on in his pajamas, either mindlessly fiddling with his guitar, doing some chores, or cooking simply out of boredom. he'd rant about his day, the jewel marketing circulation, this crazy fuck named 'dazai', how much he admires his superior—kouyou, and his friends which call themselves 'the flags'. in return, you can tell him all the school gossip you've picked up on, new music you caught onto, your rants in your notes app.

☆ exchanging knowing side glances at each other when someone's being annoying or a dumb fuck. it's the kind of look two sassy girls would stare at each other with a secret disdain for the person in front of them.

☆ chuuya keeping a hair tie on his wrist for you and him only. at first, it was extra incase he lost his own hair tie, but soon, if you ever needed one, he always keeps extra on his wrist so you wouldn't have messy hair flying everywhere.

☆ taking unwanted photos of chuuya while he chases after you to delete them. sometimes, it'd be mid sneeze or the boy yawning carelessly. he definitely cares once you've did a close up shot where he looks like the epitome of a ginger leprechaun. he'd (try to) snatch your phone and now gives you the stinkiest side eye when you even try to point your phone at him.

☆ unconsciously resting an arm behind your shoulders when you're both sitting side by side. for chuuya, it provides a comforting stretch for his arms, and it feels safer knowing that he can just manuver you if there was ever an unexpected attack. for you, the fact that he just does it so casually makes you a nervous wreck.

☆ believing wholeheartedly that he's human. afterall, you wouldn't feel this much adoration for a code of strings, no? you always internally chide him if he thinks otherwise, but as friends, you thought it's better to give him a comforting pat on the back.

✧ chocsra™

[luvfy0dor]

“I Can't Help But Pamper You ♡⁠˖” BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Osamu Dazai, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol

warnings; kisses, sassy Fyodor,

description; pampering BSD boys at home? I dunno how else to describe it jdskskkek

A/n; Happy birthday to Dazai and happy Juneteenth!!! I've been swamped with state testing and finals and studying for them, I got three more to go, 3/6 completed. I'm kinda excited for summer but I'll feel like I have nothin' to do. idea cred to @yaeeko and Nikolai scenario inspiration from @ilovechuuy4

Dazai Osamu ★

Dazai is almost never the first one up. Every morning, you take on the responsibilities of an alarm clock by shaking your boyfriend awake from his fifth 'just five more minutes' every morning. You were blessed with weekends off, though, and one Saturday morning when you inevitably woke up before Osamu, you decided to embrace your inner chef. Maybe you're not the best cook, but anyone is better than Dazai, so you did most of the food preparation. You never really made breakfast, though. Dazai usually just took an apple or two and you never had time to power up the stove and make pancake batter or anything of the sort, so this morning, you figured you would. You whipped out a couple pans, and some boxed pancake mix and eggs and got to work. You made sure Dazais eggs were cooked just right before playing them, a long with the less-than-perfect pancakes. Sure they were a little crispy, but Dazai wouldn't mind too much. All that was left to do was grab a fork and syrup and bring the meal back to him in your room. Pushing the door open with your foot, you walked in and set the plate on the nightstand, gently shaking him awake. His brows furrow and his nose scrunched up. "'Samu, wake up, I brought you breakfast." You say, running your fingers through his messy brown hair. He stretches his limbs before peeking open his eyes and smiling. "Did you now? How romantic of you!" He sits up and lets you hand him the plate. "This is so thoughtful of you! Come sit down." He pats the empty spot next to him. You crawl over him to get there and lean onto his shoulder once your fully situated. His nimble fingers grip the fork loosely as he cuts off a sliver of the pancake and holds it up to your lips. "Go on, try it." He encourages and you bite it off of the fork, humming at the taste. "Wow, I did pretty good, huh." You say, satisfied. He nods with a grin, continuing to munch on his breakfast. "Better than that time you burnt gravy." You roll your eyes but nod, leaning your head against his shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

Chuuya Nakahara ★

The second you offered a hot shower with Chuuya to unwind one evening, he was happily accepting. He wasted no time heading to the closet to grab a towel, slinging one over his shoulder for you along with his. He let you pull him in by his waist for a kiss while you leaned against the sink, and even though the shower wasn't turned on yet, the mirrors were already fogging up. Your hand creeps up to cup his face, running your thumb over his pronounced cheekbones as he sighs into your kisses. He pulls away, his face flustered and red. "C'mon, let's get into the shower before we end up distracted." He says playfully. He starts to undo his vest and meets you halfway in the middle without having realized that your fingers were fumbling with the buttons too. He chuckles quietly and lets you help him finish undressing before the both of you step into the steamy shower. He hums in contentment at the feeling of the hot water against his overworked muscles, his body immediately relaxing. Your instinct tells you to hug him from behind while the water cascades over the two of you, but you reason that it would be uncomfortably hot, so you opt to wash his body for him instead. He'd let a quiet but pleased sound out at the favor, mumbling thanks and closing his eyes, letting the relaxing water nearly consume him. Chuuya had never loved showers more than he did when he took one with you.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ★

Every night before you went to bed, you had a really quick skincare routine. All it really was was washing your face, putting on moisturizer, and using a lip scrub, but you enjoyed it and felt that it did what it was supposed to. Occasionally, Fyodor would stand by and watch, his interest piqued. Sometimes he'd ask questions or make comments on your routine, such as "that must be why your lips are so soft." Or "What exactly does it do for your face? I don't think it can really fix it." I'm a firm believer that Fyodor is actually kinda playful and teases his partner from time to time. "Its not supposed to 'fix it', dumdum. It makes the skin softer 'nd stuff." You'd reply with an eye roll. He'd fall silent for a second, watching as you apply the scrub to your lips. "Can I try it?" You put you finger on your chin and hummed pensively, turning to him and nodding. "I guess." You rummaged through the drawer in the sink for your recently discarded headband with floppy, worn out bunny ears on the top. He leaned against the sink and let you put it on him, pulling it over his head and then pushing it up again to keep his long bangs out of his face. He looked over his shoulder at himself in the mirror while you grabbed your moisturizer and scrub and grimaced. "I look much better with my bangs. This certainly isn't ideal." He'd tell you, turning back to face you, only to be spinned around once again.

"Just splash some water on your face." You say, turning the sink on for him. "Is that really necessary? My shirt is going to get all soaked-" "You can always change, go on, Fedya.' You say, your hand on his lower back as he reluctantly leans over the sink and gently uses his cupped hands to bring the water to his face a couple times. When he stood back up again, water dripped down his skin and from his eyelashes and his cheeks were very slightly flushed. "What now? I'm all cold and wet." He murmurs, standing stiffly as the droplets continue to roll down his face. You grab a small towel and pat his face dry for him, getting to his lips and stealing a quick peck. You then pump some of the moisturizer onto your hand and start rubbing it into his pale skin. The cream leaves a glossy effect afterwards and he runs his fingers over his cheek to feel the smooth texture. He watches you take out the lip scrub and gather some on your finger. "Open up." You say. He raises an eyebrow but parts his lips, slightly grimacing as you aggressively apply the product. "Okay, now rub your lips together." He does as directed and can't help but lick his lower one. "It tastes good, like artificial blueberry." He says and you nod in agreement. "My lips do feel softer, though." He says, continuously feeling them and taking in the softer texture. "Let me feel." You say, gently guiding his hand away from his mouth in order to lean in and kiss him, intertwining your fingers with his as you do so. "Yeah, I think it definetly worked." You mumble as you pull away. Maybe you should rope him into your routine more often.

Nikolai Gogol ★

"Dove, you ever see those people who put on face masks and then they do the whole 'cucumber over the eyes' thing? We should try that!" Your boyfriend calls out to you from the kitchen, searching for the cucumber you bought last week. He finally found it in one of the drawers and quickly grabbed a cutting board and knife. "Where'd that come from?" You ask with a raised eyebrow as you walk into the kitchen, standing at the counter next to him. "I dunno, it just came to mind. Seems fun though, doesnt it?" He chopped six slices off of the cucumber and wrapped it back up to be put back in the fridge. "Yeah, sure." You grab one of the slices and take a bite. "Let me go grab the face masks real quick. Do you want your robe? To enhance the experience?" He grins as he heads down the hallway to the bathroom. "Kolya it's like, a million degrees in here, it's summer and we have no ac, I'm surprised you're not already walking around naked and you wanna wear a robe? You're out your mind." You say, following the white haired man to find him in the bathroom closet, grabbing two charcoal masks. "I'll do as I please, and if that's wearing a fuzzy robe in the summer, then so be it. The cucumbers will cool me down."

You roll your eyes and pull the hair tie you keep on your wrist off to bunch up and hold Nikolais bangs out of his face. "Mm, much better! Let's go, I want to lay down." He says with an excited smile, dragging out along back to the couch. He plops down and sprawls out, half of one leg hanging off the edge. You follow suit but remain sitting up and rip the mask open by the tear strip. "Oops, we forgot the cucumbers in the kitchen." He says, opening his portal and sticking his arm through, pulling it out a couple seconds later with the cucumbers in hand. "Thank you." You say appreciatively. "Now close your eyes." You say, placing two of them on his eyes. "I feel much cooler already." He says, making you roll your eyes with a smile. You squeeze out the mask and spread it onto his face with your pointer finger until it covered most of the surface area except for his lips. "This is so relaxing! I'll have to do yours for you after I'm done with mine." He says, clearly having a great time. You gently massage his scalp while you let him marinate and can't help but be surprised that he hasn't eaten the cucumbers yet. Just as you the thought floats through your head, he reaches over and grabs one of the extra cucumbers on the plate, bringing it to his mouth and practically swallowing it whole. You laugh at him quietly. "I thought those were for me?" He hums to indicate that they weren't as he chews. "Not anymore." You smiled and lean down to peck his lips quickly, feeling your heart flutter with affection for him, just like it did the day you first met. "Alright, Kolya, whatever you say."

Sigma ★

Sigma was very fond of done-up nails, always admiring his customers when they had them painted with colors and sparkles, glossy or matte. One evening, he turned in from his manager job for the night and called out your name, just to find you sitting in bed, cross-legged, painting your nails. His eyes literally up and he walked closer, sitting down next to you. "That's a pretty color. Can you do mine too?" You looked up at him and smiled, shaking your hand to get the polish to dry faster. "Yeah, just give me a second.." you say, blowing your nails and continuously shaking them. It didn't take long for them to dry and you held out your hand for Sigmas. "Alright, let me see." He quickly put his hand in yours. You unscrewed the cap and scraped off the excess nail polish and started painting his left nails. His gaze was fixated on the brush as his nails went from a pale white to a glossy red. You made it to his ring finger before stopping. "Do you want an accent nail?" You ask him. His brows slightly furrowed before a look of realization appeared on his face. "That's when one of them is different, right?" You nod. "Yeah, what other colors are there?"

You reach over to a small, plastic bag on the nightstand and pull out three other polishes, one a shade of purple, a white one, and a black one. "Can I have purple?" You smiled and nodded, unscrewing the cap. "It almost matches your hair." You say, painting his ring finger and then alternating to the red one again for the pinky. "Wave your hand so it dries faster." He does as told. "I'm so happy, I see all these people with nails like this and I've wanted to do mine for a while. Did you know?" You shrugged with a smile, starting on his right hand. "Well, I always see you admire other people's nails, so I figured I'd do mine so you'd give me that attention too, but no, I didn't." You finish up his left hand and instruct him to wave it. "Ohhh...well that's even better because now we can match." He says. His cheeks are a little pinker than before and he takes your hand in his, examining your near perfect nails. "They're so pretty." He mumbles, looking back up at you with his big eyes. "Thank you." You appreciatively say, leaning in to peck his lips. He kisses you back happily and squeezes your hand. He felt so much joy every time he looked at his colored nails, and even more when he saw yours and his together.

A/n; I wasn't gonna put a 2nd a/n but it feels weird not being here, but I don't got nothing to say 🤷

[starlightshadowsworld]

If Atsushi gets sent to the Port Mafia after this good luck to them.

Honestly I don’t think anyone is equipped for this except maybe Kouyou because of Chuuya. And Hirotsu because he’s Hirotsu.

Everyone would be expecting the strong sassy weretiger that takes no shit and regularly fights one of their higher ups.

They’re gonna get a broken boy who wants just wants to go home. A shell of who he was because everything died with the Agency.

Mori pauses mid speech because Atsushi’s just looking at him with blank empty eyes that feel all too familiar. But even those eyes were cold, there was life in them.

Dazai walked those halls with purpose and an ill fitting coat. While Atsushi wanders like a lost soul.

Akutagawa stays firmly at his side. He doesn’t fight him even if he does try to stir up their old banter. He didn’t fight Atsushi the day the Headmaster died and he won’t now.

He just hopes Atsushi doesn’t become like the lost boy from the slums.

One of the rare times Atsushi speaks its to ask Akutagawa why wait 6 months? Akutagawa simply shakes his head saying he won’t go back on his word.

Which is true but also because he would gain nothing from fighting a man who wants to die. And maybe he doesn’t want to kill Atsushi after all.

Atsushi who takes whatever he’s given without a word. He hugs his old clothes like a plushi as he sleeps in the back of the linen closest. Because he refuses to use the room they provided him. It’s not his so he won’t act like it.

He fights on autopilot but he’s never put on a major job. Probably because they’re afraid of what he might do.

Q taunts him but Atsushi doesn’t bat an eye because there’s nothing Q can show him that’s worse than what he’s seen. All he can do is taunt Atsushi with things his mind already does.

The only hope Atsushi has that he clings onto is that he can save them.

No one in the Port Mafia will ever forget the day some dared to insult the Agency in Atsushi’s presence. No ons saw him move. No one saw him activate his ability. Everyone heard the scream and the sound of claws digging into flesh.

Even Akutagawa was taken aback. This made the Shibusawa fight look almost peaceful in comparison.

‘Talk about my friends again, and the next time I won’t miss.’ Hisses Atsushi coldly. He throws the person to the ground like rubbish and walks out the door.

His hands are shaking as blood trickles down his claws.

[nxathyx]

Bsd boys with a sassy reader

Chuuya Nakahara x gn!reader, Dazai Osamu x Gn!Reader, Nikolai Gogol x Gn!reader, Fyodor Dostoyevski x Gn!reader, Sigma x Gn!reader, Akutagawa Ryuunoske x gn!reader

More so with a reader who is good at insulting, back talking ect.

Trigger warnings: insults, cursing, a guy trying to hit on/harras reader but they pop and lock (girlboss besties), mentions of su!cide (on Dazais part, jealousy, mentions of alcohol and clubs/bars, slander, ooc, Let Me know if I missed anything

Chuuya Nakahara

°HE FUCKING ADORES HOW SASSY YOU ARE!!

°he wouldn't admit it but finds it so attractive and straight up admires you when you put someone in their place and or stand up for yourself

°would definitely praise you for it

°if he wasn't as prideful as he is mf would straight up be on his knees worshiping you and your words of degrading

°if y'all ever argued it'd just be you being your sassy ass self and him being like 🤨🙄😃😧😰 (progressively regretting his decisions)

Let's set the scene first shall we? You and Chuuya were currently in a club/bar. You were just engaging in a casual conversation with your boyfriend sipping on your alcoholic beverage of choice (or literally anything if you don't drink). You were having a swell time just enjoying that Chuuya finally had some free time from work, that is until this man came up to you, he wasn't necessarily bad looking, but he was very average and basic to say the least. Chuuya glanced at the male but not speaking anything of it.

"hey, cutie~ how about I show you a fun time, just you, and me alone in bed~

You didn't even spare him a glance, replying bluntly and shortly

"fuck off, im not interested"

The man looked at you with a smirk, totally ignoring Chuuyas presence. Nakahara felt disappointed, disgusted even by the mere nerve that guy had, but sighed and continued to sip on his wine

"a little bit of attitude I see, that's such a turn on baby.."

It was quite clear the individual was intoxicated, you finally glanced at him with a sigh

"shame your such a turn off, with that cheap ass target shirt" (I love target don't come for me😭😭

The male got rather angered by how you spoke to him and were barely even batting an eye at him. Chuuya was grinning just watching the interaction watching you insult this lowlife with no mercy

"aw, come on.. Don't be like that, let me give you a fun experience and a night to remember"

"a night to remember is when you'll fuck yourself on a chainsaw you pathetic lowlife, get your horny ass together, get a proper job, focus on yourself and be respectful that way you might actually get some bitches in your life"

To say the least, the man wasn't too happy, his hand snaking around your waist, your natural instinct of self defence kicking in as you kick him in the shin

"what was that for you bitch?!"

He asked, seeming pissed of at you, at this point Chuuya has had enough and stood up, standing between you and the guy

"can you piss off? They're not interested nor available, jackass"

The fucker simply ignored Chuuya and tried again

At that point Chuuya got fed up with him, slapping him and leaving the place. As soon as you two got home he was by your side making sure you're alright <3

Dazai Osamu

°he lives for your sassiness

°imagine if you both work at the detective agency and Kunikida is scolding him and then you just back talk, not even bothering to look at them

°motherfucker Was like awooga awooga let me rearrange your insides babygirl😻😻

°definetly finds that really fucking attractive

°will proudly stand right beside you like "yes. That's my s/o. Yes, they're a bitch, and I love them"

You and Osamu were currently in the agency office, you were filling in some papers, whilst Dazai was getting scolded by Kunikida like most days. You weren't paying much attention to why he was getting told off, but you assumed it was because of one of his daily shenanigans, like jumping into a river mid mission, or giving Kunikida fake facts and or advice causing pages from Kunikidas notebook being ripped or scratched out by the ink. After a few more scolding words from Kunikida, you're boyfriend went behind you, hiding behind your office chair, you hummed a little "Hm?" as Dazai proceeded to explain that Kunikidas scolding is pointless cause he hasn't done anything wrong, however most of it was muffled due to Kunikidas continued scolding over the desk, it was insufferable to hear as you turned to Kunikida

"can you respectfully shut up?"

Kunikida just looked at you completely surprised, Dazai on the other hand had a grin, falling on his knees in an almost comedic manner before you asking when it's his time to hear such degrading words from you

Nikolai Gogol

°does his silly goofy little grins

°pulls pranks on Decay members and uses you to do all the "explaining"

°annoys you as much as possible using his ability just to see you get all sassy

You were currently laying on the couch, in the living room, it was pretty early in the morning and you haven't ate breakfast yet. You were home alone, your partner doing god knows what, and you preferred to not know. You stood up from the couch to go make yourself some breakfast, you were in the mood for something sweet, so you decided on pancakes, grabbing butter to melt on the pan later, milk, flour, sugar, and.. You just looked at the content of the fridge, confused why it lacked the eggs, you could've sworn there was at least half a carton left yesterday, you sighed realising you either have to go to the store or just make something else, you sighed softly once more looking into the fridge, grabbing some jam, putting the flour and sugar back, before sliding a bit on your socks to put the milk and butter back in the fridge, just looking even more confused due to the eggs suddenly appearing, realising it was probably the jester playing tricks on you, grabbing the eggs quite quickly so they don't dissappear once more. You placed all the ingredients on the counter once more, beginning to make the batter, you were about to pour the batter on the pan, before noticing a small yellow portal, taking the pan in with a red gloved hand, sighing once more you said a little.

"I'll chop your dick off and dismember your head with that pan if you don't give it back"

Nikolai poked his head out a bit with a smug grin, holding the pan up, by the center but instead of the handle, causing him to burn his hand and getting a bit of the melted butter on his palm, dropping the pan onto the floor with a loud sound of metal hitting something. Although the sound wasn't pleasant at all you got to laugh at your boyfriend for being a little stupid fucking idiot

Fyodor Dostoyevski

°THIS FUCKER IS SO SMUG ABOUT IT

°if you ever Insult Dazai he'll give you like 5 countries

°if he truly loves you that is

°if not he'll Stil probably find it amusing, you might even get a little giggle out of him

°would definetly be sassy towards you as well

Fyodor was currently in his office (discord mod cave) , eyeing like 5 fucking monitors at the same time.

"Fedya, come out of your rat infested room already"

You said a bit irritated by the fact he's been there for like a week, not even bothering to come out for basic necessities, at this point you were even wondering where the hell he pisses— not important. It seems he has ignored you calling out for him. You opened the door, you wanted to ruffle his hair but just looked at that and almost gagged

"you look like an oiled up pan.. You better fucking wash that, I doubt even lice would want to be there"

And after saying that you left the room, leaving a confused Fyodor, who just sat there processing what the fuck you just said

Sigma

°okay Mr 3-4x bullcut would be nervous asf

°like he's scared you'll end up in a fight from the way you talk with others

°finds it humouring if you insult Gogol though

°would love hearing you insult everyone, in private

You were standing next to a machine in the casino, leaning your side against it until a fairly attractive female came up to you

"are you going to keep standing here and hogging the machine so no one can use it? Or will you move your damn self some where else?"

You were a bit stunned by the sudden hostility but slightly impressed and even amused

"i know damn Well your not talking to me with that 3$ wig your wearing right now, and don't even get me started on those earrings and necklace your wearing, like girl, did you grab those of a Christmas tree?"

The girl turned around on her heel, a few minutes later the number you had got called into the managers office. You walk in to notice Sigma trying to look stoic and not at all nervous, making you snicker a bit. Sigma turned to the woman and told her she's free to leave and he'll take it from here, the girl gave you a smirk as she left as if she just won millions, making you almost choke trying not to laugh

"dear.. Please stop being rude to my clients—"

"well your clients are bitches"

The discussion continued for a bit ending in you nuzzling your head against Sigmas neck as he continued to do his paperwork.

Akutagawa Ryuunoske

°this man is as sassy as you like oml

°don't say anything about Dazai, Gin or Chuuya though, or just people he generally respects

°feel free to talk as much shit as you want about Atsushi though

°if you ever tell Higuchi off he'll find it very amusing

°y'all definetly try to out sass each other

You and Aku were currently laying in bed, you were talking about someone at your work place that has been annoying you lately. You were insulting them freely, not bothered by the fact Akutagawa was trying to fall asleep, not until he told you to shut up, which ended in endless sassy comments going back and forth between the two of you as well as you a bit curled over in laughter and Akutagawa trying to hold back a snicker

I nnot proud of this but spent too much fucking time writing this and didn't even finish 💀💀

[cielokittyy]

Dazai x reader

Tw: Slightly suggestive comment, but I’m not sure 😭

Dazai being pathetic in the way that he constantly clings to you and pouting about the littlest of things. However, you shouldn’t mistake this behavior as love-pfft! As if! The thought of a man as cruel and despicable as him indulging into the pleasures of loving someone, was more than humorous.

Though, sometimes he wondered if holding someone as beautiful and ethereal as you, could somehow mend his scarce heart. He found this thought silly, but interesting enough to entertain. Him-a former mafia executive and a current scum-possibly learning how to be as pure and benevolent as you, would truly be a phenomenon. Or perhaps, instead of him mending to be as considerate as you, maybe his sinful presence would corrupt you into becoming more like him.

Either choice wasn’t very likely, but that didn’t stop Dazai from dazing off about this. It wouldn’t be until you tap his shoulder and give him that oh-so adorable frustrated look.

“Dazai! You’ve been dazing off for 30 minutes now! Kunikida is going to yell at you if you don’t finish some paperwork.”

You would say with that concerned tone in your voice. He was a bit selfish in the way he loved seeing his loved ones worry about his own being. Something about it was soothing to his soul. Dazai of course would respond with a cheeky answer.

“Oh but belladonna! I’ve been spending my time quite productively thinking about all the ways we could spend our time once we’re alone! You see, I had the perfect plan to-“

You cut him off by interrupting him with more scolding. Your relationship had gotten to the point where you could more easily tell what he would say next, much to his dismay.

Dazai didn’t listen to a word you said this time. Instead he sat there with a soft gaze, pondering on his earlier thoughts. You really were starting to become everything to him. Or maybe you were all along, and he’s just now noticing this. You eventually realized he wasn’t listening to you and decided to walk away with a sassy eye roll, causing Dazai to chuckle to himself. Perhaps love wasn’t so far from him than he thought, and instead it came in many different forms. It was obvious he couldn’t love normally like most humans, but it might not be an experience reserved for normal, healthy people.

Of course though, this certainly didn’t matter either way. He was a vile man with no hope and he warned you at the beginning of your relationship. Nothing could change his mind for he was nothing in this vast earth, unlike you. For now, he’ll have to settle with his own torturous mind before even considering “love”.

The end?

Honestly I started this off as a small rant and turned into more of a fanfic but ig it worked out lol

[mncxbe]

Chuuya, Dazai, Nikolai, Akutagawa and Sigma(no need for all of them just do whichever ones you want) with a reader who is incredibly sassy, like reader is borderline about to get harrased but is still so chill and sassy like "Respectfully fuck off, and fuck yourself on a chainsaw so you get massacred In half so no one has to see your disgraceful behaviour anymore"

Omg I love this so much girlboss reader supremacy. Also I had to use your line there it was just too good. Enjoy♡♡

// sidenote I'm working on all your requests so even if it takes a bit longer for me to post, just know I'll do it eventually. Love y'all♡

°☆○

8:37◇

𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒎𝒂, 𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff/ silly

𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒚𝒂

it's either the best or the worst combination

he absolutely adores how bold you are and how you always stand up for yourself

but he sometimes wishes you needed him a little bit more

Chuya loves drinking wine; that's something everyone is aware of. What many people didn't know however is that the redhead also attended almost every wine tasting in town, especially the ones held by you, his darling girlfriend.

He relished that hour spent listening to you presenting each wine on the menu with such grace and passion. Naturally, your boyfriend knew how hard you worked to become a sommelier and was truly proud of you; the wine tastings held by you were the best he ever attended.

The only aspect that sometimes ruined the serene atmosphere of the tasting was... well, other men. Oh how he hated the way they fawned over you, utterly unaware that your boyfriend was sitting right next to them. This wouldn't even be such a problem if they didn't make filthy comments about you; but some of them really went overboard.

That night an especially repulsive attendant kept making snarky comments about you. Chuya could barely contain his anger when the man slapped your ass as you bent over to pour him some wine; the only thing that kept him from killing that bastard was the promise he made to you: that he wouldn't interrupt your show no matter what.

He simply gripped the armrests of his chair as the man burst out laughing.

With a smug smile on your face, you took the glass you just poured and handed it to the man.

"If you ever do that again I'll break this glass and shove the shards up your penis. Understood?" you said in a sweet voice, causing the man to quiver. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and quickly straightened his back, uttering an apology.

Chuya's lips curled into a grin upon hearing your words. When he caught your gaze as you poured some wine to the man sitting opposite to him, he gave you a quick wink. Proud, he was so proud.

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

you're equally sassy and he loves that

the two of you bring the best and worst out of one another but it's always so much fun

lowkey gets turned on when you say daring stuff

"Bella" groaned Dazai as you pulled him off of his chair "I've danced enough for tonight. My feet hurt"

"Nonsense love. Come on you know I love this song."

You slowly pulled your boyfriend towards the centre of the room. The underground bar you were currently at allotted a few square meters to a dancing area and of course, after a few drinks you wanted to dance too. Naturally, Dazai obliged you but it was currently midnight and you still wanted to keep going.

Not that he minded it that much; after all, what better way to spend the evening than being able to touch every inch of your body while the two of you swayed peacefully to a slow song?

After a few more songs you agreed to go back to the table.

"Hold on dear I'll go to the bathroom real quick" said your boyfriend as he gave your hand a little squeeze.

Much to his surprise when he retured from the toilet you were resting against the wooden table with a man hunched over you. His right arm was slowly making its way to your waist but you seemed utterly unfazed. As he walked closer, Dazai could hear the man talk to you.

"Come on pretty I know you want this. You've been tempting me all night long with those moves of yours."

Dazai could feel his blood boiling when he heard the man's daring words. He quickly walked closer just as you pushed the man away.

"In the most direspectful way, fuck off and fuck yourself on a chainsaw so you get massacred in half so no one has to see your disgraceful behaviour anymore you pathetic excuse of a man." you said in an angry voice.

The man, vexed by your words, turned his back to you and walked away, putting his middle finger up.

"Well bella I didn't know you could talk like that." said Dazai as he walked by your side.

"That asshole deserved it. The nerve I cannot believe it." you stated as you rolled your eyes, seemingly annoyed by the events that just took place.

"He truly did but love, don't let that man spoil the mood tonight. Besides..." he said as he took your soft hand in his and gently kissed it without breaking the eye contact. "The night is still young. How about we go home so I can cleanse you of that man's touch?"

"That's actually a good idea Osamu" you giggled as you drank the last sip of your drink and made your way up the flight of stairs, towards the exit.

𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒎𝒂

your sass and fiery attitude perfectly match his calm and composed demeanour

you're like the sun to his moon fr

he loves you a lot but sometimes you're a bit too much for him to handle. please be gentle.

Sigma marched into the room, his heels clicking on the marble floor. It was quite common for him to be summoned in the gambling area whenever a player was caught cheating or when a conflict escalated into a fight; but he never expected a case of sexual harassment.

As he approached the group of people with a stern look on his face he caught a glimpse of your figure. You were leaning against a table, a look of obvious annoyance on your face.

"What's going on here?" he asked calmly.

Your head snapped in his direction. "Oh darling here you are. I was just asking this fine gentleman here to leave the premises of the casino."

"Oh shut it bitch. What reason do you have to kick me out?" spat a man from the crowd as he stepped forward. His tie was loose and the first two buttons of his shirt were undone; by the glassy tint of his eyes Sigma could tell that he was really drunk.

"I saw you touching multiple women tonight, me included. This type of behaviour is not tolerated in our casino." you replied in a flat voice.

The man only grew more furious; he took step towards you, shoving a fat finger in your face. The golden rings on his hand caught the light of the chandeliers.

"And since when are you entitled to tell me what to do, huh? Didn't know you were the manager."

His words only fueled your rage and before Sigma could say anything, you slapped the man's hand away.

"Listen to me old man. Either you get out of here now or you stay." A wild grin rose to your lips as you continued speaking "But I will cut off those dirty hands of yours. And don't worry about the manager, I'm sure he'll approve of my actions, right darling?"

The man turned his face in Sigma's direction only to see him nod in agreement.

"I do, darling. Just try not to stain the carpet."

The perpetrator froze for a moment before mumbling a string of curses under his breath. He quickly stumbled out of the room.

Left with no other form of entertainment the crowd dissipated, leaving you and Sigma alone.

Your boyfriend exhaled deeply, the stern austere mask he put on crumbling. "Please never make me say that again, love" he said in a hushed voice, gaining a low chuckle from you.

"I know I'm sorry honey. Promise I won't." You closed the distance between the two of you and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "But thank you for helping me out"

Snaking a hand around your waist, Sigma pulled you into a side hug. "Of course darling. I just don't want that man to make any complaints."

"Don't worry about that dear" you said with a sly smile on your face, your eyes glimmering with mischief. "After all, you're the manager."

[literatureloverx]

BSD MEN x DISNEY PRINCESSES

I'm not sure how many people were aware of it, but there was a trend on TikTok (I believe it was last year) where someone paired JJK characters with Disney princesses.

It got me thinking about pairing Disney princesses with BSD characters because…why not?

This is nothing serious, so please enjoy! ❤️

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Possible pairings: Aurora, Cinderella (live action), Belle.

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty 1959): She is introverted, dreamy, elegant, and beautiful. She embodies traditional femininity and dreams of true love. There's a serene and peaceful spirit within her that Fyodor would greatly appreciate.

Cinderella (live action, 2015): She is very polite, values kindness above all else, and sees the good in everyone. Her ability to forgive almost makes her appear ethereal and otherworldly. She is graceful, beautiful, intellectually stimulating, and well-educated.

Belle (Beauty and the Beast 1991): She is the most beautiful girl in her town, yet possesses an intellectual and romantic mind. Though fairly introverted, she can be outgoing in certain circumstances. Fyodor would find much common ground with her, bonding over their love for reading and discussing various topics.

Dazai Osamu

Possible pairings: Cinderella (live action), Belle, Elsa.

Cinderella (live action, 2015): She is compassionate, valuing kindness and generosity above all else. She would understand Dazai's struggles and help him become the best version of himself.

Belle (Beauty and the Beast 1991): Belle is intellectually stimulating for Dazai as well. She is able to fall for a beast because he shows that he can improve and has a good heart deep inside, which eventually comes to the surface. Once Dazai trusts her with his fragile heart, their bond would be unbreakable.

Elsa (Frozen 2013): She is calm, collected, and deeply values her close relationships. Dazai would help her become less stressed and anxious, while she could handle his daily antics. However, this relationship could be challenging because both of them are guarded around strangers.

Nakahara Chuuya

Possible pairings: Jasmin, Tiana, Mulan, Cinderella.

Jasmin (Aladdin 1992): Jasmine is sassy, knows what she wants, and is very intelligent. She is confident and elegant, embodying femininity in a strong and assertive way. Chuuya would admire her.

Tiana (The Princess and the Frog 2009): Tiana is hardworking and confident. Her struggles and the effort she puts into achieving her singular dream make her very human. She is inspirational and loving.

Mulan (Mulan 1998): Mulan makes sacrifices for her family. She is rational and not easily frightened, even when faced with significant challenges. Her struggles are relatable, and her character arc is both majestic and realistic. Chuuya would be very proud to call such a woman his.

Cinderella (Cinderella 1950): Cinderella is also hardworking, but in a more laid-back and dreamy way. She dreams of true love, happiness, and peace. She is more of a traditional woman, but by no means lacks character.

Nikolai Gogol

Possible pairings: Rapunzel, Ariel, Anna, Merida.

Rapunzel (Tangled 2010): Rapunzel is very bubbly and curious. She has many ideas and makes connections in a dreamy yet extroverted manner. She is hungry for knowledge about the world she doesn't know and longs to explore. Such a person with deep underlying passions would intrigue Nikolai.

Ariel (The little Mermaid 1989): Ariel is also eager to explore a world she's unfamiliar with. She yearns for personal freedom and the ability to make her own choices in life. She can be considered impulsive, feeling and living deeply, rashly, and quickly. She would be able to keep up with Nikolai's temperament. She is loving and entertaining.

Anna (Frozen 2013): Anna longs for connection with the outside world and wants to socialize as much as possible. Her perspective on life is almost childishly cute. She is entertaining and lovable, and Nikolai would appreciate her enthusiasm.

Merida (Brave 2013): Merida is brave, daring, and doesn't let anything deter her from following her own path. She knows she can surpass any expectations placed on her, and she courageously pursues her own way. This is a quality Nikolai would adore.

[soukokumychildren]

So let's just talk about this absolutely forgotten scene here. The memes are so strong with this one (it's Wan, it's to be expected) I love how one, Higuchi doesn't notice an EXECUTIVE in the room with her and her friends. Just Chuuya bein' over here like: Oh yeah. I'm here. Hi, whatcha need, howsit going? Love how she also asked: "What are you doing over there?" In the back of my mind I think: Well, firstly, he works there...secondly, judging from the appearance of the background, it looks like a lounge.... I WONDER... Then Higuchi mentioning how HE of all people can wander into the FEMALE bathhouse to change her weight (why are there...scales, in the bathhouses? Lol?) Man doesn't even hesitate. "You're one crazy broad (brood?)." Not flustered, nothing. He doesn't give a flying fuck (hey Chuuya, how many more obvious hints you wanna throw at us before you just wander into the screen one day and announce you're gay (for Dazai)? Any day is as good as any). And even after he haughtily turns around (god damnit, Chuuya. God damnit you're SO FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL. Literally nothing can compete with you that I've ever seen in anime history oh my god)! SO SASSY. Not even a moment later he brings up DAZAI. Of ALL people. And I've been reading so many posts about how both Dazai and Chuuya, for no reason whatsoever, randomly bring eachothers names out of their asses. And for what? But Chuuya (hear me out, yes this is just me joking) thinks about Dazai directly AFTER that comment; implying how he knows he wouldn't go into the womens bathroom because he's gay for Dazai--*Gets fucking shot*

*Recovers just as fast* Then we don't talk about how Higuchi openly is disrespectful to one of the highest beings in Yokohama with that shower cap. Jesus 💀

[buttonmillipede]

‼️RANT‼️

TW: porn, sa, rape, pedo, this is a commentary.

Im so tired of the Bsd fandom. Like i like it sometimes, i won’t deny that, but there is too much porn 😭😭.

I want family fond, fluff, anything! I want teen reader who acts too much like a bsd character when they were their age. I want a teen reader in the beast au whos dazai right hand like how dazai was moris right hand. I want dad/mom bsd parent. I want teen reader taking the place as the new demon prodigy, i want intelligent reader. I want child of chuuya or dazai meeting someone who is just like chuuya or dazai. (Idk how to explain well but here you go. Ex: Child of chuuya meets someone who acts just like dazai when chuuya met dazai, or child of dazai gets body slammed by someone who acts like chuuya). I want a sassy child reader. I WANT PLOT. PLEASE IM BEGGING, IM SO BORED OF JUST READING PORN AFTER PORN CAUSE THERES NOTHING ELSE. ITS SO DRY IN HERE. IF YOUR GONNA MAKE PORN, MAKE IT INTERESTING. I DON’T WANT TO SEE DADDY DAZAI, THAT MAN IS NOT A DADDY, HES A MANIPULATIVE TWINK. At this point its not even nice to read it. I can just hear my pussy shrivel up and die every time i stumble across smut or lemon or whatever people call it nowadays. Also side note non-con, pedo shit, etc is way to normalized in this fandom.

Edit: i just want to add im not against porn, do whatever you want i can’t control you. What im so upset about is the fact its only porn. I can’t find a x reader (Platonic or Romantic) without it being anime characters raw dogging it. I just want more variety.

Edit 2: I’m being overdramatic as a joke. I don’t like complaining without adding things that will make me laugh, sorry I didn’t make that clear. If you don’t agree with my opinion scroll away, this wasn’t made to start any fights. This is just mindless ranting about what bugged me at the moment. Please don’t give me solutions or try to treat me like a I’m stupid. I already know what solutions to take, and I’m already taking them. I also want to add again: I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PORN. DO NOT DEBATE WITH ME ABOUT IT.

Edit: Ya’ll are porn addicts. This is a commentary, its my opinion. Mindless rambling. But the way im seeing people get straight up attacked for saying it’s weird how much porn there is, especially since most of the topics are not okay. Im lucky to have only a few try to fight me. And I want to add, Im not talking about consenting adults. Im talking about yandere (Yandere is debatable, if it’s executed well), rape, sa, pedo. I find it disgusting. I understand if you’re using it as a tool for comfort but understand that is not healthy. My conclusion is, porn, no matter what form it is, is just as addictive, and If you find something you don’t like scroll, if you keep getting that something then block, if you see something not okay then report, block, then scroll.

[sadlynotthevoid]

Since I saw that post about og!Cale solving a murder crime in Alberu's noble meeting, I've been obsessed with detective!ogCale, who solves crimes on his free time because he's too fucking bored.

Hence: bungo stray dogs crossover AU where, while a transmigrated RokSoo and company go around doing the usual "let's mess with white star" stuff, og!Cale got basically adopted by a bunch of weird professional detectives.

I'm talking about an AU where bsd happens in the world of tboah/tcf. So, while a member of the agency was going through the county for reasons, they witness og!Cale stealthy dropping a hint about a mystery to a near knight. Then he leaves, pretending to be drunk all the way to his home.

What everyone else sees is the local drunkard ready to cause trouble at the minor inconvenience.

What the detective in question sees is a very bright teen, good at solving crimes, who has nothing to do but pretend to be drunk. Needless to say, they take Cale back with them.

(It could be anyone, but it's most likely to be Dazai if they just take Cale with them and don't tell anyone. Though, I think it would be funny if it was Kenji the one who did it. Double-way adoption ensues)

Og!Cale is puzzled at how he ended up at the Armed Detective Agency as a recruit, but he doesn't complain. He even likes his job and his coworkers, even if Dazai keeps trying to unalive himself.

Besides, he doesn't have to keep with his trash act here. Everyone here is smart enough to tell he's acting. They're detectives, damn it. It would be strange if they didn't notice.

So, freedom.

And the ADA people like him too. This quite quirky, smart, witty and creative teen fits just right with them.

At some point, Ranpo has to tell him that "no, you're not smart. You're really smart. Not as much as me, although" because og!Cale's hypercompetence is normalized for him and sometimes he doesn't realize that "everyone else hasn't reach to that conclusion yet" when talking with normal people.

Fukuzawa looks at this sassy child and is like "I guess I got yet another son". Because, why would the hella rich son of some noble be so happy to join a group of strangers and do all this hard job? You can say he obviously loves his family from the way he talks about them, but he also brights up at the minor genuine act of care. It's concerning. Not urgent, but still concerning. He's keeping him. He's eighteen, legally an adult, and came on his own will. So, It's not a kidnapping.

[night-dazai]

Warrior

Warning: panic /anxiety attack, trauma and tears, kind of comfort

(I was personally want Dazai to do this to me so here )

It hurts …

“fuck …” you mumbled under your breath holding your chest tightly tugging at the pink t-shirt. Sitting on the bedroom floor, everything hit that one dream …..that one dream.

Chest heaving but you sat down on the cold wood floor trying to even it out but it just hurt more. Lungs and windpipes burn, and shoulders and arms feel limp but also heavy like a huge weight was placed on them making it hard to move around too much. Legs mussy but stiff and you were not even sure if it was a cramp or not but it hurt.

Eyes wet but you sat doing your best pressing your limp tired hands on your mouth trying to make less noise as tears ran down your face ………that noise …………that tone ………that anger ……… and the fact it was man ……..

Shivering you sobbed heaving and trying to control your tears you just made things hurt more, your body was giving up …..limp and hot ready to go stiff and leave you dead … but something ………..held you ……..” but..it hurts “ you mumbled ……..you wanted to die but did not …..the pain…for you ….or for others?……you did not know ………always trying to be perfect you failed …………….but still tried?………no you did not …you did not try and you know its the truth.

Where is the strong, brave and sassy girl? who the fuck is this weak bitch crying cause some man shouted huh?

The sassy girl did not care a shit about others and who is this weak worm crying cause someone called her a fool?

Your thoughts knew the answer and it was painful but then suddenly you smiled …..that's all you could do …..

“well if results are what they want they get it ……yes they get it, “ you thought and smiled and soon you wanted to giggle but you firmly pressed your hands on your mouth “Ah….wow …………fuck it even, freedom comes with a price and that is power ……skill….and knowledge,” you thought and slowly got up from the cold floor and claimed onto the bed slowly trying not to wake Dazai.

His soft features rested peacefully while his soft hair was a mess but still pretty, you smiled and kissed his forehead “Thank you “ you mumbled and turned to push your back on his chest.

Long bandaged arms wrapped around your waist loosely “Good “ he mumbled pressing a kiss on your temple and pulling your back tightly to his chest “Good night my warrior “ he smiled opening his eyes fully while yours shut close to sleep” Face It all ….face all your fears ……”

[chocsra]

✧ more personal chuuya hcs !!

✧ appearence hcs:

has a small small face

long, naturally curled, luscious eyelashes

soft and silky ass hair

very smooth, soft looking ivory skin

repping mestiso community, described as beautiful and unique

he actually glows in like any good lighting, golden hour does him best

his beauty is like majestic but gets called pretty a lot

bones did him soo wrong, he has toned sleeper build guys trust

naturally low-lided, sleepy eyes

he has really pretty brown eyes

has russet hair, NOT a ginger, he's more of a reddish brunette

slim, large hands that are really attractive

SNATCHED waist

he has a few pretty freckles

old money aesthetic

90s hot.

my personal hc is that his appearence comes from some sort of european descent, be it french or spanish blood that made his features so unique

looks so unreal that he looks otherworldly or like a doll; alien beauty

his skin reminds you of porcelain; this man's skin is mad flawless

ties his hair up at home into either a manbun or ponytail

has an 8+ step skincare routine..

has a super raspy voice in the morning/night

always takes his gloves off in the cuntiest manner - either biting the fingertips off one by one or that one manga panel where he bites the wrist part

whines when he stretches and it always catches u off guard

✧ crack/general hcs:

dances like hyunjin from skz (knows how to and practices his moonwalk)

bro is a WHEEZER when he genuinely laughs, he also feels the need to say ur not funny to keep ur ego in check when he is in fact laughing his ass off

when yall are laughing ur ass off (drunk or not) just know yall will be collasping on the floor feeling the six pack coming in

rip chuuya - you would've loved making electric guitar thirst traps on tiktok

he LOVES rollarcoasters or anything with a kick to it tbh (fast car or motorcycle rides) bc he loves gravity dzuh, but yknow what he CANT take??

them seats in the movie theatre where they move according to the movie, he gets way too invested in movies and the seats moving like crazy fries his brain (IM SORRY IF U DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING AB, THEYRE CALLED DBOX)

he ofc has a weakness for dogs but if he ever tries to feed a stray cat and it runs away or hisses he gets a little sassy and hisses back

sleeps like a dying victorian child. you walked onto him sleeping once and contemplated on calling a priest

one of those people who have copies of the same clothing item, or they're like barely any different. you see his hat rack and he gets offended bc "all his hats are completely different"

he scoffs a lot

starts chasing you if you ever MENTION the times when he was 15 (has made cringy youtube diss tracks with dazai, lost the login, now that videos up forever..)

if you're short like him and tell a story complaining about how ppl call u short, he gets personally offended FOR you

likes reading books but they vary from sophisticated novels to books like "HOW TO STAND ON BUSINESS?!?!"

his spice tolerance is wild, even if he can't actually take it he still will to prove a point

since his voice is pretty guttural whenever he has a voice crack while speaking you both pause and look at each other in silence before you laugh and he just goes "shut up.. shut up.. 😒"

he likes to mock ppl (lovingly) w higher voices like higuchi (especially when shes talking ab aku) bc it's older brother vibes and their reactions are always priceless

✧ chocsra™

[luvfy0dor]

“In Love With All of These Vampires ♡⁠˖” Vampire!Fyodor x Gn!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; blood, blood sucking, kissing, grinding, suggestive, Dazai hate, slightly sassy fyodor

Description; on nights like tonight, you're sure to prepare yourself for a visit from your night-stalking and hungry boyfriend. About 1800 words, even though it doesn't look like it.

A/n; he lingers in my mind 25/8 I love him so much- for more vamp stuff here's a post about vampire chuuya, and then here's one of my mooties posts about vampire fyodor ;333 ALSO HERE IT IS @mariaace ANDDD THANK YOU TO MY BSF FOR THE IDEA @ilovechuuy4 :3333

In the dark of the night, a tall man lurked in the shadows, his raven colored hair dangling in his face as the subtle wind gently pushed against it. His chilling gaze sent shivers down the spines of those who met it, instilling such a strong feeling of uneasiness that such unlucky souls made quick work of picking up their pace and fleeing. His fangs poked out of the corner of his lips, reflecting a shiny glare underneath the streetlights. His shadow stretched far in front of his body as he passed them and his footsteps created a small tapping sound as he made his way down the pavement. He was moving rather quickly to your home, hoping to arrive fast enough to avoid the rainstorms predicted by the earlier forecast. He could only move so rapidly though, as he hadn't fed in awhile and wasn't usually used to very much physical activity. One of those problems, however, would soon be fixed.

By the time he reached the gate to your yard, a soft rain had started to fall from the dark clouds above, blocking out any and all light from the stars and moon. All that was left to guide Fyodor through the darkness was the incandescent glow that shone through your window. His hair and hands were slightly damp, and as he tried to climb up to your window, his grip kept slipping. After a few attempts, he finally made it onto the roof, huffing and puffing as he took a breather. Once he felt that his heart was steadily beating again, he crawled over to the clear panes and knocked. His eyes scanned your room through the glass that was made blurry by the rain, droplets falling down the window in thin rivulets. Your body quickly came into view as you did a little jog over to open the window up and let him in.

"You didn't get caught in the rain, did you?" Was the first thing you asked him. He stared blankly at you with a damp face, hair, and outfit. "No." He replied sarcastically, slinging his leg over the sill and entering your room. You laughed a little bit, steadying him by holding his shoulders before turning to exit your room. "I'll grab you a towel." He hummed and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. The knees of his pants were roughed up, a remaining indication of his struggle to get up onto your roof. When you returned with a towel for him, you noticed and commented on it. "It must have been difficult getting up there. There's always the front door, you know." You say, raising an eyebrow and draping the towel over his head, drying his hair up for him. To you, he seemed to have an odd affinity for climbing through windows and nearly fatiguing himself by doing such a thing, but he really just didn't want to encounter your roommate. What you didn't know was that the guy you lived with was his mortal enemy. Fyodor was simply petty enough to enter your home through the window rather than the door because he knew that the brunette man liked to hang in the living room with whichever woman he comes home with, if one at all, and that's where the door was.

"I can't do that." He'd tell you, his tongue tracing the point of his right fang. Your brows furrowed and you looked up at him through your eyelashes. "Why not? You literally wind yourself every time you climb up here." You say, drying his scalp underneath the top layer of his hair. "It's rude to ask a vampire that." He tells you, so seriously that you almost believe him. "And it's even ruder to comment on my physical abilities. I get up here just fine." You let out a skeptical hum and nod. "Okay, sure." You toss the towel at your laundry basket on the other side of the room and grin when you make it in. "Look at that, I'm a baller." You say, turning to him. "You should go pro, Myshka." He says, peeling the dampened coat off of his body and tossing it over the back of your desk chair. "Do you want some dry clothes? Your..." You gesture at his whole body. "Vampiric attire doesn't look the most comfortable for cuddling. And kissing. And etcetera." You offer, already making your way to your dresser before even hearing his answer.

"That would be nice, thank you." He says, already starting to remove his shirt. He took the clothes you had lended him and headed to the bathroom connected to your bedroom to change. When he emerged again, he looked much more comfortable and huggable. "Are they good?" You ask, looking him up and down and concluding that they fit him well enough. He nods and puts his wet clothes in the hamper with the previously discarded towel. "They fit me just fine, thank you." He says, approaching you and putting his hands on your waist. "Good, didn't want you to get my bed all damp with your wet butt." You tease, ghosting your fingertips over his spine with a grin. "Oh please, that bed has gotten wetter because of you on several occasions." He bluntly mutters, tracing your jawline and bringing your lips to his to give you a sweet and hungry kiss. You were still a bit stunned by his words, even after the two of you pulled apart. "Wowww, okay. I guess you're right, though. Tonight's probably gonna be one of those nights again, yeah?" You ask, twirling some of his long, black hair around your finger. "Hmm, maybe if you taste satisfactory enough." He says, brushing his thumb over the most recent puncture mark he had left in your neck to draw your blood.

"We both know I taste more than satisfactory." You respond. "I think it's just a matter of how hungry you are." You tilt your head to the side, awaiting the pinch of his bite. "Maybe." He responds in partial agreement, leaning down and finally sinking his fangs into your skin. After a moment of his sucking, the blood finally hit his tongue and he hummed, having missed the sweet feeling of his hunger being satisfied. It had been a week and a half since he last fed, and sure he could go for longer than that if he really needed to, but you just tasted so sweet- how could he not crave it? The crimson, wine-looking liquid that escaped his tongue trickled down your chest, but he scooped it up, making sure that his fingertip was facing the ceiling to keep the delicious substance in place for when he was ready to pull out of your neck and lick you clean. He usually hated messy food, but when it was your blood smeared on your chest and his hands, he thought of it almost as dessert.

Once he finally got his fix, he pulled away, licking his lips and teeth clean of your cherry colored fluids, wearing the dark color like a lip stain. He then sucked the excess blood off of his finger. "Mm, you taste magnificent, darling." He says, closing his eyes and catching his breath. He leaned in and kissed right below your ear, his bitten down fingernails touched your skin as he tightened his grip to pull you in further, making you furrow your brows at their rigid texture. "Are you sure? Maybe you should kiss me here so I can taste too.." you whisper, pressing your pointer against your lower lip. He smirks and sighs, leaning further into you, his lips hovering a solid inch away from yours. "I suppose, if you're so insistent on tasting yourself on my tongue."

He closed the gap and kissed you once more, his nose nudging your own as your lips moved together in a passionate pattern. His tongue ran acrossed your bottom lip, and you responded by opening your mouth to let him in. You could, infact, sense the metallic taste of yourself, quite easily, too. The taste of blood obviously wasn't one of your favorites, but Fyodor made it good. The only way your body could react to his lips and tongue on your own was by leading him over to your bed and continuing the kiss on his lap, your arms draped over his shoulders and your eyebrows knitted together desperately. Your hips moved against his ever so slightly, but it was enough to turn the both of you on. Fyodor grabbed you to hold you in place, pulling away from the kiss to speak. He was still hardly an inch away, and you could feel his breath against your skin.

"Stay still and be good, okay?" He muttered, his voice lower than usual. You gave a quiet 'mhm' and pushed his bangs out of his face. "We should take it slower. Wouldn't want to move to fast and get too excited. Your..less than appreciated roommate might hear and want to join..that freak." He mutters. You laugh at him under your breath. "You don't like him?" He shakes his head and chews on his lip. "He's a little bit promiscuous and shady for my liking. I do not." He affirms, his hands making their way to the small of your back. "So THAT'S why you won't go in through the front door and you prefer my window. You don't wanna see him! You're so petty, Fedya." You tease, poking his cheek gently. He swats your hand away and groans. "I never said that, but yes. Seeing that oaf is less than ideal, especially when I'm here to see you." You roll your eyes. "Dazai isn't even that bad. You must have caught him on a bad day whenever you formed this vendetta of sorts." Fyodor frowns and pinches you, giving you a rather exasperated look at the idea of his rival not being 'that bad.' "His only good quality is his intellect, which I see as a meet challenge. Other than that, he is undesirable to me. Enough about him, focus on me." He says.

"Oh, ofcourse." You grin, cupping his cheek and pulling him back into the kiss, running your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp soothingly. Soft moans were exchanged throughout the rest of the night, but the two of you generally decided that cuddling was more preferable in the moment than anything more intimate besides kisses, so that's how you ended the night- in the arms of your vampiric lover with the sound of his steady heartbeat right beneath your ear as the two of you chatted about anything and everything. The both of your voices were just above whispers, the soft lighting from the lamp on your nightstand added to the calming ambiance of your bedroom, allowing the two of you to peacefully fall asleep together, various types of hunger satisfied that evening.

A/n; YAYYYYYY I LOVE VAMP FYODOR HES SO FINEEEE BUT YEAH I hope this don't flop, if u can tell me what song the title lyric is from ill uh give u a cookie telepathically