#dazai shooting chuuya with the money gun

[juriyuki]

I know iwsynttr is in American Artist setting but I want to see Soukoku doing fansigns like kpop groups...

[xvxblahhhxvx]

What if skk got caught in a bank holdup

A random idea/fanfiction by me.

Inspired by: the shower (truly, it's a magical place)

Because like, imagine, will you, that Dazai goes to the bank on his day off after payday, possibly looking to get some new bandages, and who should he come across but Chuuya, who is there to take out some money from a totally legitimate Port Mafia account. They'd probably bicker for a minute, Dazai would find at least three ways to insult the mafioso, who would then shout back at him, only to have everyone else in the bank shoot them strange looks, so he then resorts to whisper shouting. Until suddenly, the doors burst open, and in rushes five men with guns blazing, their faces obscured by masks. "This is a hold up!" they declare. Three of them usher all the bankgoers to one wall, forcing them to sit down quietly. And of course, if any of them try to call the police, they'd really get it. The other two deal with the clerks, getting them to open the vault, and no one gets hurt.

Meanwhile, Dazai and Chuuya are watching this play out with mild amusement. After one of them sticks a gun in Dazai's face and tells them to move it, they share a shrug and walk to the wall, plopping down criss-cross applesauce. The patrons are shaking. Some of them are crying, some are praying. Dazai folds his arms behind his head and leans back against the wall, suppressing the urge to yawn. Chuuya takes the opportunity to munch on a granola bar and observe the robbery with vague interest.

With his eyes closed, Dazai asks... "so...are you going to stop them, or...?"

"Nah," Chuuya answers between bites. "I haven't eaten much all day, so..." He turns to Dazai. "What about you? Aren't you the detective here?"

"Yeah, but it's my day off now. I don't want to work."

"Yeah, yeah, definitely know the feeling."

"Hey, you two!" shouts one of the thieves watching the hostages. "Be quiet!"

"Sorry." Neither of them sound particularly apologetic. They sit for a few more minutes. Dazai yawns and stretches. Chuuya finishes his granola bar. Nothing changes.

"What's taking them so long?" Chuuya mutters. He's starting to get annoyed. "Some of us have things to do, you know."

"This is actually really pathetic," comments Dazai. "We could have gotten double the money and been halfway back to the base by now, gone before the police even knew there was a threat."

"And we'd never do it like this," agrees the mafioso. "This is too loud, and it's got no class."

"Right? It's like begging for the police to come. And besides, this whole hostage situation is thin as paper. If they really wanted to intimidate people, they should have shot someone by now, prove they're serious."

"Those guns probably aren't even loaded."

"Honestly, this whole set up is awful. Truly amateurish."

"This whole thing would be much smoother if we did it. Maybe we should help them, just so they can get their money and leave the rest of us alone."

"That-"

"Hey!" shouts the same guard again. He points at Dazai, then at Chuuya. "What did I say about talking?! If you don't shut up-"

"No, you're doing it wrong," Dazai informs him.

"I...what?"

"If you really wanted to intimidate us, you should have fired off a warning shot, at the very least. Even if you're too coward to actually shoot a person, at least don't make it so obvious the thing's not even loaded."

Beads of sweat drip down the thief's face. "Huh?"

"And could you tell your friends there to hurry up?" adds Chuuya. "They're going to be caught at this rate. Obviously, the clerks are stalling. They're probably sticking in the lowest bills they have to give the bags some weight. It would be way more efficient to have one guy guarding the clerks and two of you doing it yourself."

"Just figure out the accounts with the most in them and take from there," Dazai suggests, standing up. "You'll get more and faster like that."

Chuuya rises as well. Now, the other two thieves who were supposed to be guarding the hostages come to back up their friend, pointing their guns directly at their heads. Dazai frowns.

"Hold on a second, can I see that? Thanks." He reaches out and grabs the nearest thief's gun, and before he even has a chance to protest, he opens up the magazine and shakes it.

"See? Empty. Would it really have been so hard to even find one bullet to put in there?"

From behind their masks, the burglars begin to panic. The public, now aware they're being held up by nothing, stand up angrily.

"And look!" Chuuya strides over behind the counter, where the clerks are supposed to be filling up bags with money. He takes one out of a male's clerk's hand and dumps it out on the floor. "All 1,000 yen bills. If you had just paid more attention, you could have made off with much more. And, now the police are coming."

Indeed, the sound of wailing sirens gets louder and louder. The thieves glance at each other. With a single nod, they turn on their heels and run.

"Not so fast!" All of the former hostages block the door. The thieves freeze, turning to Dazai fearfully. He shrugs.

"That's what happens when you don't back-up your claims. This is due to your own stupidity."

The public manages to easily restrain the thieves until the police arrive to take them away. As they're being dragged out, Dazai and Chuuya merely watch with their arms folded, shaking their heads and muttering to themselves.

"Disgraceful."

"What a sloppy job."

"Embarrassment to all criminals, really."

"Can't believe I had my time wasted with this crud."

"Hopefully, they'll do better next time."

"Yeah. If you're going to hold up a bank, at least do it well."

After the thieves are taken away, the police ask Dazai and Chuuya about what happened, since everyone says that they're the ones who stopped them. They answer with vague statements that amount to nothing, and leave the bank before they have to get more involved.

Neither of them speak much, each caught up in his own memories from the past. Eventually, Dazai decides to head back to his apartment, though not without giving one good jarb on Chuuya's height. In the end of the day, he supposed he did stop them. Well, as long as it didn't have to count as work-

The next day, both Chuuya and Dazai were required to make a report on the matter.

End.

[iloveyanderes]

Based off a fic on Wattpad called everyone loves chuuya by krysing, you should go read it it's a complete 10/10.

The pull was very close, I'll try my absolute hardest to get done with part two, I promise you, anyway here is the fic:

Part one:

People were acting weird today, it's the first thing you noticed, by weird you mean everyone staring at you.

First it was your commanding officer, then your coworkers, and now people on the street's.

Getting some food your astonished when the waiter tells you it's free, did you do something in your last mission that was recorded and sent to the public?

Suddenly your phone rang, not your normal phone but your work phone, must be important.

Answering it you immediately say the basics of when your boss calls you, this serious tone you've managed to prefect ultimately failed you when you heard the news.

"name, your getting promoted to the hunting dogs" spitting out the coffee you had, you look around to discovering everyone yet again staring at you, though they had been doing that for at least 30 minutes.

Turning back to your phone you whisper into it, "please elaborate"

"today the commander himself decided that you were worthy enough to join the hunting dogs, all of the members agreed with this" your coworkers said.

In that moment the excitement you felt was nothing short of pure ecstasy, you had to stop yourself from screaming on the top of your lungs.

Slapping money on the table despite the fact that you were told it was free you rush back to headquarters and celebrate.

You run back, soon becoming aware of the person following you, keeping your smile to play dumb you wait for the attack.

In the distance mark twain had eyes one you, holding a tranquilizer gun he was preparing to shoot.

Counting down you wait for the shoot.

Three...

Get closer to a moveable metal

Two...

Don't see any.

One...

Stop sign!

Grabbing a stop sign you deflect the gun shot onto the ground, wait is that a tranquilizer? Hm he's not going for the kill.

Another dart came down and you just barely dodged it, they tip piercing your shoulder.

You need cover, and you need it right now.

Blocking one final bullet you duck into a subway and immediately exit mark twains view.

As you were making your grand escape mark was sighing over the fact that his boss was gonna get pissed over the fact he let you get away.

"why does he want this person again?.." he mumbled out loud, ow well he forgot, it's not like he doesn't share the feelings of his boss.

Once you were deep enough in the train station you finally allowed yourself to get a moment of calm.

You very briefly got a look at that guy since he was above you and shooting at you but you recognized him as some guy working for the guild in america.

What does the guild want with you?

Well you should get back to headquarters as fast as possible and report thi-

"hey guys!?! I'm lost!!!!" Yelled a voice, you looked up to some guy waving his hands up and down like a maniac.

'should I help him?' you thought, preparing to leave you were stopped when he made eye contact, he had short black hair and green eyes, wearing a hat and some weird detective gear.

"you!" He suddenly pointed at you, "you must come with me!" What???

What is he talking about, you didn't have a moment to register what was going on because he grabbed your hand and pulled you with him.

This guy had no idea where he was going because he pulled you to random places before finally getting to his destination.

'is this the armed detective agency? I've never been here before'

Your wrist began to hurt the moment he dragged you into the agency.

Wait a moment!? If this is a detective agency you could probably take shelter here!

The moment you and this random dude step In everyone is immediately on you.

"are you really name!"

"can I have your autograph!"

"your hair is amazing!!!"

"commit double suicide with me!"

"shut up dazai!" Screamed everyone on the room.

It was a bit more silent after that, you decided to speak up then.

"um.. who are you guys?.." simultaneously they all stopped to stare at you.

"I'm kenji" said a small blond.

"Atsushi!"

"I'm kunikida"

They all took turns introducing themselves until it got to the person who had dragged you here.

"I'm ranpo"

Ranpo...

"well it's really nice to meet you all, I remember your an agency right?"

"yeah!"

"do you mind if I stay with you guys for a bit? before I came here I think someone from the guild was hunting me down"

"you can stay forever" atsushi said before covering ranpo covered his mouth.

"what he means is that you can stay as long as you like" ranpo exclaimed, almost strangling atsushi,

you found this a bit odd, "well thank you!"

{time skip because I don't have the will to write this scene anymore}

the armed detective agency offered to let you stay in one of their rooms, but you declined because you didn't want to bother them, a bit of arguing had commenced before yasano finally let you sleep in the medic center, the bed was not the greatest but you've slept on far worse things before.

normally it be easy for you to sleep but fate had different plans today, around 1 am you heard sounds coming from another room, placing a knife in a secret pocket in your skirt you investigate.

the main room where everyone chilaxed was where the sound came from, rubbing your ears a bit the sound was coming from one of the couches.

the left one, where you saw dazai earlier, placing your ears against it, the sound of ticking became apparent.

oh shit.

three seconds was all you had before the bomb exploded, it was large enough that it damaged you seriously, hitting you left leg and upper body, your arms made it out okay, probably just some first degree burns.

the stinging pain was then accompanied the windows shattering, not because of the explosion but people breaking in.

'wait the port mafia is also following me!' oh crap, this is bad, you could fight that twain guy earlier because you were in tip top shape but now your legs are in agony and you have some serious burns.

one of the people who broke in was a small ginger with a fancy hat, he took one look at you, got angry and then yelled at the weird looking dude beside him.

"kajii! what did I say about hurting her, you said everything would be fine and look at her now!"

"how was I supposed to know that she'd go near my bombs!"

"make ones that don't have noises beforehand!"

wow, you are not prepared to deal with this bullshit, while those two idiots were arguing you prepared to run outside and warn the others.

only to be stopped by some edgy looking guy, "out of my way" you commanded, keeping your voice as strong as possible despite the disgusting pain.

"I can't let you leave" his voice was more firm then yours,more determined, hah! you'll show him determined.

now you have two options run or fight, you may be still able to fight but this guy is obviously an ability user, you'll have to be careful.

eventually you opt to run, bolting down the hallway ignoring the sting coming from your legs,to add onto the pain the knife you had placed on your thigh pocket fell out of it slightly and pierced your leg.

before you could yelp, weird black almost cloak like things grabbed your waist, arms, and legs pulling you backwards.

before you made it to the edgy guy dazai appeared out of nowhere and touched him, within a instant the weird black things vanished, and you bolted once again.

what the actual heck was going on!?

you couldn't think anymore only run, the port mafia was too busy fighting the armed detective agency to notice that you fled, you felt very bad about leaving the ada alone but something told you that they'll be okay.

though you might not be okay, you were slowing down, your vision going a black, and to add to all of it rain started to poor making you shiver.

when you reached a back alleyway your legs finally collapsed on you, the last thing you saw before you passed out was two boys.

one was a blond with an even weirder hat then the one you saw earlier with the ginger.

and the other....were those tentacles?

just as your sense's started to go to black you heard the blonde says something.

"woah is that the target! earlier mark was complaining about how hard she was to catch, she looks beat up, the boss is gonna be mad"

I knew I wasn't lucky enough to get a promotion and then nothing bad happen to me.

[twinksintrees]

bsd incorrect quotes but the quotes were taken from me and my friend’s dnd quote book

“I hope you go suck a squid “ - Lovecraft

“I’m addicted to bombs but other than that I’m a pretty well rounded person “ -Kaji

“I’m taller than you” - dazai “I’m older than you, I’ll always be older than you” - chuuya “not if you’re dead” - dazai

“Sorry I died” - atsushi

“The orphans need their alcohol” - pretty much the entire ada tbh

“Did you punch it? THEN YEAH IT HAS DENTS!” -kouyou @ chuuya

“If you’re gonna kill somebody at least do it quietly!” -Gin

“the love of my life *turns to woman* what’s your name?” - dazai

“why is everyone crying? what happened? Trick question, I happened “ - mori

“I’ve never been a children.” - akutagawa

“I’m not gonna play into cat stereotypes” -atsushi

“bold of them to assume Im not gonna eat the gag” -dazai

“I fought a dragon with badger” - chuuya

“Ah southern people!” -the guild

“*eagle noise*” - Fitzgerald

“Please don’t just live in a hole” - chuuya when he sees dazai’s shipping container

“Now I know how parents feel” - fukuzawa w ranpo and yosano

“I’m a teen boy I’m always hungry” - kenji

“Don’t hit the puppy with a hammer” -chuuya @ dazai (the puppy is akutagawa)

“It’s a pizza party everyday in the mafia” -the port mafia

“Money doesn’t grow on trees it gets birthed from holes” -Fitzgerald

“You know what’s hot? Eating fruit and taking showers” -kunikida

“There’s no romantic tension it’s meant to be threatening” -soukoku

“I didn’t try to stab Kenji, I tried to punch him” -Tecchou

“You’re having violence without me?” - Akutagawa

“I can’t believe you guys didn’t like my homeless orphan pick up line” - atsushi

Nikolai, staring Fyodor dead in the eyes: “concuss me baby”

“My head is a weapon” - ranpo

“Has Nikolai ever killed one of his lovers?” “We all make mistakes in the heat of passion” - Sigma and Fyodor

“I am in a threesome with writing and sleep” -Poe

“Small? No. I’m big boy” -ranpo

“I forgot I had a gun in my mouth and kissed my lover! Oh no!” -s5 soukoku

“Can his catch phrase be ‘time to bite the bullet’?” -soukoku when vampire chuuya

“Dazai I’m feeling less bad about shooting you” -‘vampire’ chuuya

“Me and the boys know all about religion” -Nathaniel Hawthorne (also fyodor)

*deep voice* “boom boom for the orphans” -when oda’s orphans died

“If I would turn into a horse would I be free” -Nikolai

“what are you doing, are you just eating ham and laughing!?” -kunikida @ ranpo

“do you have any idea how much your head is worth” -Akutagawa @ atsushi (i can hear this in his voice so clearly)

“If we weren’t homeless you’d be grounded” -when the ada were on the run in s4

“Who needs a gender when your in love with a boat” -Herman Melville

[ysabelmystic]

This is for you, not your cards.

Lovecraft & Steinbeck vs Vash & Wolfood

How would that fight go down? Who would win? Would they resolve things without fighting instead? (Idk why they are fighting I didn't think about it that far ahead I was just thinking of non human with enhanced human vs non human with enhanced human vibes. Maybe in this crossover the Guild sent them because they want the bounty on Vash maybe?)

Inquiring mind want to know 🙏

Okay so it's been a long-ass time since I've read the Trigun manga or watched the 98 anime so this is me going off of Stampede and wikipedia.

I'm not exactly sure why they're fighting, but sure, we'll go with the concept that Steinbeck and Lovecraft are after the bounty since both of them are mainly motivated by money.

I think Vash and Wolfwood would win hands-down in either world, but it'd be a near-instant win in No Man's Land since Steinbeck would only have his own grapevines at his disposal. That makes him a liability if anything in a full-on fight. Vash would be able to dodge and then destroy the branches via shootout with his superhuman senses fairly easily. So long as Steinbeck is prevented from accessing his seeds and his current branch is cut off/removed, he will no longer be a threat. During this time, Wolfwood would take on Lovecraft, who, after observing Wolfwood's superhuman state and massive fucking cross-gun, will likely have transformed into The Great Old One. With Lovecraft being able to regenerate, Wolfwood and/or Vash will have likely realized alternative methods to bullets are necessary. I can see Wolfwood being consumed Sandworm-style and shooting his way out. Vash can create black hole bullets apparently. Thus, together, they could probably achieve a similar effect as Dazai with his bomb and Chuuya with corruption.

If this battle takes place on earth, the Wolfwood vs Lovecraft battle probably doesn't change much. However, Vash would have greater difficulty with Steinbeck, who now has plants to graft onto with Grapes of Wrath. On the other hand, even if Vash is unable to dodge or destroy the branches, we do know that Vash has far more power (that he refuses to use) than Steinbeck does. It is very likely that he could conjure something to subdue him or allow himself and Wolfwood to escape.

Of course, it isnt a proper anime beef without an excess of dialogue. I don't think that happens as much for Wolfwood and Lovecraft. Lovecraft probably just complains about being tired (or the air being dry on No Man's Land) while Wolfwood makes corny undertaker/priest jokes about "laying him to rest". For Vash and Steinbeck though, it's gotta be a little weird. They're both going to be smiling the whole time and probably gushing about the people they care about most in the world. Steinbeck will explain his motivations, Vash will empathize and offer a solution, teaching Steinbeck about the technology on No Man's Land as he goes. However, Steinbeck will still choose to attempt a capture due to the bounty being so high, and annoyance toward Vash for being too emotional. One difficulty Vash might have in fighting Steinbeck is that Steinbeck won't underestimate him, even if he appears naive, since they both tend to appear chipper in some form regardless of what's happening around them.

[lillia-flower]

୨୧⁺˚⋆Partners In Crime

Content Warning: Teen!Dazai & Chuuya, Dazai x Chuuya/soukoku, playful jabs, Mori.

Headcanon: Mori makes Chuuya and Dazai sing Partners In Crime by Set It Off.

Mori picks the song Partners In Crime by Set It Off, he assigns the male role to Dazai and the female role to Chuuya and Mori puts the song into his music player and starts it.

Chuuya: I can't believe we are doing this, this is stupid. Chuuya rolls his eyes as he holds the makeshift microphone. Dazai: I think it's going to be fun, Chibi~ He teases Chuuya as he holds a different makeshift microphone.

The song is currently starting as they wait for the people in the song to start singing so they can sing at the same time. They both agreed to not saying the romantic parts of the song and Mori said they are allowed to.

Chuuya: You'll never takes us alive~ Chuuya starts singing the female parts of the song and Dazai follows. Dazai: We swore that death will do us part~ Dazai starts singing the male parts of the song.

Dazai: We'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners~ Chuuya gives Dazai a side eye with an expression that says "What?" Chuuya: Partners in crime. Chuuya seriously while singing and Dazai rolls his eyes. Dazai: Partners in crime~

Dazai: This, the tale of, reckless love~ Chuuya gives him a glare when he said the word love and Dazai just ignores him. Dazai: Living a life of crime on the run~ Dazai: I brush to a gun to paint these states..

Chuuya mumbles "You should use a gun to shoot yourself, bastard" Dazai: Green and Red~ Dazai mumbles "Mean Chibi, wanting me to die!" Chuuya looks at him with a confused expression. Chuuya: "Don't you want to die?"

Mori: Ahem. Dazai goes back to singing the lyrics. Dazai: Everybody freeze~ Chuuya: Nobody move~ Dazai: Put the money in the bag~ Dazai mumbles "Like how I put Chuuya's money in my wallet~" Chuuya: WHAT!?

Chuuya: Or we will shoot~ Chuuya mumbles "I want to shoot your brains out." Dazai: Chibi is being so mean!! Chuuya; Shut up, you waste of bandages! Mori looks at them fighting again and clears his throat to get their attention. Mori: Ahem.

Dazai rolls his eyes and goes back to singing. Dazai: Empty the vault~ Dazai: And me and my doll will be on our way~ Chuuya gives Dazai a glare for calling him doll.

Dazai: Left unaware that the lone store owner~ Won't go down without a fight! Dazai sings as he stares at Chuuya. Chuuya: Where we gonna go? Chuuya gives him a look that says "what?"  Dazai: He's got us pinned! Chuuya: Baby I'm a little scared Chuuya says baby in a mocking tone while looking at Dazai teasingly.

{[ I hope you enjoyed it, the idea is all original. ]}

{[ Word Count: 483.. ]}

☆! lillia-flower made this !☆

[alittlesimp]

'so, what the fuck is the circus au?' - a summary of last night's events

"Half of them are clowns anyway" -tumblr user alittlesimp, 2021

so it all started here. i joked about the circus au being tomorrow's brainrot au and people RAN with it.

this is a collab i guess? between quite a few blogs, i'll tag everyone i can find at the end of this post :) to be fair, most of the ideas came from jade so she's responsible for this hell too.

if you want to see the posts in the flesh, check the hashtag 'bsd circus au' and the additions in the notes of those posts!

want to add something? why. but yeah, you can. leave a comment or send me an ask and ill add it to this post and tag you in it :) but feel free to play around with this au yourself!

ill sort the ideas per character for clarity :) it's mostly copy-pasted because holy shit we went far with this 😭 but i also added some extra stuff :)

The Akutagawas

· Trapeze anon, thank you for your service

· This is a wholesome au where instead of joining a violent organization, they join the circus.

· They are trapeze artists!

· When they were in training, Rashoumon helped them keep safe when they fell

· Maybe Aku first discovered his ability when he or Gin almost made a life-threatening fall

· Rashoumon could also help with trapeze tricks!

Atsushi

· They bought him as a tiger but quickly discovered he was a person instead

· He jumps through flaming hoops in his tiger form and although he was super scared at first, he quickly got used to it

· Because he's friendly and, you know, actually a person, children are allowed to pet him during the break and after the show!

Chuuya

· We were divided on his actual job

· Options include:

· Aerialist because of his ability

· Contortionist because he is flexible

· Motorbike rider in globe of death because... motorbikes

· But you know what? Fuck it. He does everything.

· He's probably one of the most popular members of the circus!

Dazai

· Animal tamer!

· Shrimp remarked he would look really good in the outfit and you know what? Circus Dazai could get it.

· Constantly jokes about being eaten during training (which kind of offends Atsushi) / being fed to the animals if the circus doesn't make enough money

· His job interview went like this:

· "You do realize this is dangerous? You could die."

· "I COULD DIE?? 🥰"

· Has multiple scars, he says they're from training animals, but he is suspiciously quiet about his past...

· Anyway he is hot. That is the post.

Fukuzawa and Mori

· They have a whole fake rivalry going on

· Every show they have an epic swordfight which is one of the most exciting parts of the evening!

· They were probably circus veterans who decided to start their own show

· There are rumors they hate each other for real

· But they're actually best friends and go out for drinks together (sometimes with the other artists too) after a successful show!

Kajii

· Circus announcy ma- I mean ringleader.

· He has the personality for it!

· Dramatically blows himself up in the middle of the show, only to reappear in one piece at the end of it

· Traumatizing children in the process

· He hands out little lemon-shaped candies to kids at the end of the show

Kenji

· He is the dude who lifts a bench with 30 people on it

· But he is secretly obsessed with the animals

· Spends most of his time where they are kept

· I'm sure Dazai loves teaching him about them :)

Kunikida

· Sells balloons and tells kids stories

· I think he'd be in charge of the financial stuff too

· Sells tickets at the door and makes sure the circus is advertised well

· Most likely also their spokesperson!

Kyouka (and a bit of Kouyou)

· I don't think we had anything for her, but I imagine she'd be a knife thrower

· Or maybe like tricks?

· Demon Snow could help her with this!

· Maybe Kouyou was her mentor before retiring

· Kouyou is now more on the business side of things but sometimes still helps with making new routines for Kyouka

Mark

· Clown? No. Gun tricks.

· Would probably start his act by shooting a target on the stage from a hidden spot, scaring the shit out of everyone

Ranpo

· Fortune teller!

· But he's kind of mean about it 😭

The Tanizakis

· Tanizaki is an illusionist and Naomi is his assistant

· They have seemingly impossible tricks but it's actually just his ability!

Yosano

· Cuts people in half

· But like, for real.

· She heals them right after though 😭

*manga spoilers from here*

Nikolai

· Despite being dressed like a ringleader, he'd 100% be a clown

· But like the type that imitates the magicians lmfaoo

· Instead of releasing white doves or rabbits he picks up random pigeons from the street with his ability and releases them in the arena 😭

· Has gotten bitten by birds more times than he'd like to admit

Sigma

· Manager of the circus

· He's in charge of making sure every customer is enjoying the show

· Known for being one of the kindest people in the circus

Tachihara

· Also a knife thrower because of his ability

· But more badass-themed than Kyouka, who has a more cute-but-deadly theme

again, most of this was by jade so all the credit to her for this mess!

tagging everyone involved in this (including those who encouraged this mess): @jadegreenimmortality @requiem626k @bsdparadise @sugurus-princess @nameless-shrimp @bakugousbreathmint @cottonwoolwounds + trapeze anon (if i forgot anyone let me know!)

[shinsoukokuvalentine]

Heavenbound (7)

(You knew this wasn’t going to end well, didn’t you?)

Read the entire work on Ao3

241/365: Hallelujah

-

There was always a contingency plan. There had to be. He wouldn’t have survived this long if he hadn’t had plans. When life caught up with him, he tore it down and started anew.

So the Zelda had been littered with bombs from the very beginning.

Scrambling out the main door, Fitzgerald irritably presses every button on the remote in his hand, more explosions ringing in his ears with every push. Just because he had a plan doesn’t mean he ever wanted to use it. Behind him, his once beautiful ship lurches to the side with a mighty groan. Its lights flicker, and he can still hear the screams of the men he left trapped inside, inside with the tiger.

He frowns. Necessary casualties. He’ll find new ones, ones less careless, less volatile. A new Steinbeck, a new Twain, a new Akutagawa. He can always start over.

A sharp screech bursts from the other end of the pier. Fitzgerald whips his head up to stare into headlights, headlights which barrel towards him with a roar.

He jumps out of the way, staring at the black limo for just a moment before me makes a break for it. He runs, ignoring the sound of doors slamming open, bolting down the pier.

He hears the gunshot a split second before he feels it.

With a sharp cry, Fitzgerald grips his stomach and falls forward. Shaking, staring at his blood as it drips onto the pier, horror begins to dawn on him. Not like this , he thinks, shaking. It could end like this. It can’t end like this.

“Please,” he whispers, shocked at the quibbling sound of his own voice as barely manages to turn his crouched body around, staring up at whoever shot him. Illuminated by the limo’s headlights behind him, he stands mostly in silhouette, casually walking towards Fitzgerald, swinging his gun at his side.

“Please what?” The man asks, his casual tone sounding unlike a man who has just shot to kill. As he grows closer, Fitzgerald can make out his features more clearly; dark, wavy hair, tight jeans and a black jacket with a feathered collar. Like a black hole, his eyes seem to absorb all light.

“Please,” Fitzgerald murmurs again, the stranger only somewhat blocking the harsh light from the limo. Fitzgerald has to blink and squint to see because of it. “Don’t do this. I can give you anything.”

The man tilts his head. “Anything?” He asks inquisitively, and despite his pain, Fitzgerald feels his old smile work its way back onto his lips.

“Anything,” he says. “Money. Status. Power. At my right hand, everything could be yours.”

He expects this man to agree. He expects this man to be as gullible as every other man who heard that promise, blindly accepting his offer as grandiose, when truly, Fitzgerald could give away that much money in his sleep.

But to his shock and horror, the man doesn’t accept.

Instead, he begins laughing, and it’s a laugh Fitzgerald knows. It’s cold, the laugh of a man who has killed many times before and would easily do it again.

“Excuse me, sir,” the man scoffs, blowing a stray strand of dark hair out of his face with one last chuckle, “I don’t even know who you are.”

The last thing Fitzgerald feels is terror. The last thing he hears is the gunshot. The last thing he sees is his killer’s grinning face.

He wore that grin, once.

-

Ryuu coughs and groans as he wakes again, prying his eyes open, smoke filling his vision and lungs.

“Atsushi,” he rasps, struggling to his feet, looking around frantically. The balcony has crumbled into the casino, which has to burst into flames around them, pieces of the ceiling and equipment littered across the floor, smoke obscuring everything.

“Atsushi,” Ryuu calls again before vicious coughs overtake him, causing him to fall to his knees, entire body shaking with every cough. He reaches into his shirt and pulls out his watch, checking to make sure it hasn’t been crushed, but between his coughs and the sounds of the burning ship, he has to hold it to his ear to hear it tick.

“... Akutagawa.”

Ryuu’s eyes snap upward. Through the smoke, he can barely see him. Eyes fluttering open and closed, crushed beneath a beam, he can see him.

“Atsushi!” Cries Ryuu, crawling forward, dragging himself towards him. He’s human again; small, strong, gentle, ferocious Atsushi, who can only lets out a soft groan, eyes squeezed shut.

Filled with panic, Ryuu grabs onto the beam on top of Atsushi, trying frantically to pry it upward. Above them, he can hear another support beam begin to groan.

Ryuu looks up just in time to see it fall.

It crashes. The floor breaks apart beneath them. Ryuu cries Atsushi’s name, and they plummet down, down into the flooded engine room.

They land in cold water. Boilers have already combusted, littering the water around them with shrapnel. Ryuu struggles to the surface as soon as his limbs stop shaking enough for him to do so, but he’s suddenly stopped. Something pulls at his neck, trapping him to broken metal, his watch chain looped around it.

Despite the salt in the water, Ryuu’s eyes widen. His watch.

He grabs at the chain, pulling on it desperately. He doesn’t think about what he’s doing, think about his actions, or think about their consequences. He only pulls.

With an echoing snap, he’s flung backwards. With an echoing snap, the chain breaks. In the light of the flames, the golden watch glitters, sinking downward like a stone.

Ryuu’s heart drops to his feet. Frantic, pressure building in his ears, he swims downward, far slower than the watch’s descent. He can no longer see its shine.

Instead, something else glimmers to is side. Ryuu turns instinctively, still searching, but he freezes. Flowing almost gently in the cold water, Atsushi’s silver hair catches the fire’s golden light as he sinks downward. Eyes closed, he doesn’t swim, doesn’t struggle, and without thinking, Ryuu darts towards him.

Pieces of the Zelda crash into the water around them as Ryuu grabs Atsushi’s hand, running out of air as he struggles to pull him upward. With a gasp, he breaks the surface, pulling Atsushi up by his arms, who coughs as Ryuu frantically looks around for somewhere safe to put him.

All he finds is the broken remains of a table and a whole in the ship’s hull, leading out to open ocean.

Ryuu’s body moves before his head knows what he’s doing. Mustering every ounce of his strength, he shoves Atsushi onto the floating table, paddling it towards the door.

A sudden jolt of pain draws a cry from Ryuu’s lips. His eyes widen when he puts his hand on his chest instinctively and feels his watch’s absence.

Frantic now, Ryuu pushes Atsushi forward, to the rapidly shrinking hole in the hull as the ship sinks.

“You can make it, Atsushi!” Ryuu shouts, shoving Atsushi through the gap, watching as he drifts on the table into open water. “You can make it!”

Sharp pain cuts through his body again, and Ryuu casts one final look at Atsushi before he takes a deep breath and dives back under the surface.

More pain shoots through his body with every passing second. With every tick, the sound of his watch grows louder in his ears, despite its distance, its second hand growing slower and slower. He can’t see it.

The water silences Ryuu’s scream. He screams in frustration, in pain, in helplessness, bubbles pouring out of his mouth.

And then, every sound stops.

The watch doesn’t tick again.

-

“DAZAI!” Chuuya practically screams from his place in the car, leaning out the door as far as he can without falling forward onto the pier. “We have to get in there!”

Walking back to the car casually, Dazai glances up at the Zelda, the flames breaking out across its helm beginning to reflect on the ocean, only to extinguish as it sinks, painfully slowly.

“I don’t know about you,” Dazai says with a sigh, “but burning to death isn’t one of my favorite ways to die.”

“But Ryuunosuke’s in there!” Chuuya cries, and he struggles to move forward, but Dazai swiftly catches him.

“And we’re not,” he snaps. Barely able to be heard over the roar of flames, the creak of the ship’s hull, Dazai stares sharply into Chuuya’s face. “Neither of us will last a minute in there. Especially not you.”

Chuuya barely listens. Eyes wide, reaching out around Dazai, he frantically tries to push past him, even though he knows he won’t get far.

“You promised!” He screams, punching Dazai in the shoulder. “You promised you’d save him!”

Dazai says nothing. He simply lets go, allowing Chuuya to crawl out onto the pier, trying to pull himself forward. The gangplank burns and crumbles, impassable, but still he goes forward, shouting Ryuunosuke’s name.

He doesn’t notice Dazai until he runs past him, throwing his jacket behind him as he suddenly jumps off the pier. Eyes wide, Chuuya stumbles forward, barely able to make two steps on his own.

“Dazai!” he calls, grunting with the effort it takes to stay standing. “What is it? Is it Ryuunosuke? Did you find him?! Is he okay?!” His questions devolve into frantic cries as he staggers to the pier’s edge.

By the time he makes his way there, Dazai has begun to climb the flimsy metal ladder leading from the ocean up to the pier, hauling something, or someone, over his shoulder. Chuuya feels hope grow in his chest at the sight of a familiar small body, white shirt, and black slacks.

But silver hair catches the flames’ eerie light, and Chuuya’s hope withers as quickly as it bloomed.

Dazai practically throws Atsushi onto the pier when he nears the top of the ladder, grunting with effort. The weretiger quivers, unconscious, dripping wet but breathing, coughing water out of his lungs. Chuuya’s eyes dart frantically between him and Dazai.

“... Ryuunosuke?” He asks with a single word. Dazai takes a few deep breaths, not meeting Chuuya’s eyes for a moment, water dripping off his bangs and onto the pier, mouth hanging open.

But when he finally looks at Chuuya, he doesn’t look away. He meets his gaze solemnly, unwaveringly, and shakes his head once. Chuuya stiffens.

“No,” he murmurs.

He screams at Dazai, screams for him to go back, to find him, attempting to jump in the water himself a few times, but Dazai holds him down. The sounds of the ship burning and sinking into the ocean drown out his cries.

-

It feels as if he’s walking through fog. Thick, slimy fog that clings to every one of his limbs and drags him back one step for every two he takes. Traveling forward seems practically impossible, but he has to. That’s his only thought that pierces the thick soup surrounding him.

He has to see him again.

In the distance, something sinister calls his name. He knows it’s waiting for him. He knows it’s reaching out, dark claws stretching towards him, maw open wide and grinning. He can’t run forever.

His actions become slower and slower. Whatever calls to him follows him grows closer and closer, laughing now, unable to contain its glee at the thought of snagging him, of trapping him.

But all Ryuu wants is to see him again.

And with that thought alone, he finds him. He locks onto him, to his very soul, and sees him. Nested in an unfamiliar bed, he rests with the covers pulled tightly over his shoulders.

Still feeling as if he’s swimming, struggling forward, Ryuu reaches towards him. He stretches, straining against the voice and the fog but unable to move any further.

“Atsushi,” he whispers, pleads, intangible body not making a sound, pulling his hand back as the bed stretches further and further away, even though he stands still.

“I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t notice it at first, but in the distance, a light begins to form. It almost seems to sparkle, and when Ryuu finally sees it, he can only stare. It cuts through the fog, slicing through the darkness.

Ryuu’s pursuer snarls at it. He can feel it retreat, slinking back, taking its fog with it. And the light grows.

It nearly absorbs everything before it retreats suddenly, as if it implodes on itself, and immediately the fog is gone, and Ryuu stands in a dark room, Atsushi sleeping on a bed in the corner. He snores softly.

Ryuu stares at him. He looks down at his hands, watching moonlight drift through them.

He feels her presence before he sees it. He turns around, and the light rests in front of the window, slowly taking the form of a woman.

“Ozaki,” Ryuu murmurs. The angel nods, eyes shining softly.

“Akutagawa-san,” she says gently. Her kind smile looks somehow both sad and welcoming. “It’s time to come home.”

Ryuu watches her, brow furrowing. “But you said I could never go back.”

Ozaki gives a small, innocent laugh, hiding her mouth behind her hand. “Akutagawa-san,” she smiles, as if sharing a fun secret, “you gave your life for him.”

Ryuu keeps his eyes on her for a moment longer, but as realization dawns on him, he turns to Atsushi once more.

“Come home,” Ozaki says again.

Ryuu takes a deep breath without breathing at all, unable to take his gaze from Atsushi.

“What about Atsushi?” He asks softly. Ozaki gives a quiet, sad sigh, her smile fading out of the corner of Ryuu’s eye.

“Say goodbye, Akutagawa-san,” she says.

Ryuu’s broken pieces break further. Lips pulled taught, he steps forward, moving towards Atsushi.

His intangible body makes no impression in the mattress, and his fingers pass right through Atsushi’s hair when he tries to push it from his face. His lips fall further, and he pulls his hand away, fingers curling together.

But then, Atsushi stirs. Ryuu’s eyes widen as his eyes open, blinking once, twice.

He takes in soft breaths and yawns. Afraid to speak, wondering if he can even see him, Ryuu says nothing, only watches as Atsushi stares forward blearily.

Slowly, his eyes move to look at Ryuu, and a spark of hope shines in them before quickly being extinguished.

“Akutagawa?” He says. Unable to muster words, Ryuu nods, and Atsushi smiles sadly.

“This is a dream, isn’t it?” He sighs.

Ryuu frowns. He nearly says no, he nearly tells Atsushi he’s real, he nearly tells him how much simply being by his side is breaking him.

But no, he thinks. He stops. Atsushi won’t be hurt as deeply if what leaves him is merely a dream. So he nods, and Atsushi nods back.

“Thought so,” he says quietly, pulling the covers a bit tighter around his shoulders.

Ryuu can’t stand looking him in the eye any more, so he lets his gaze travel around the room, beginning to see furniture and walls he recognizes.

“This is Oda-san’s place,” he says. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Atsushi nod beside him, but he says nothing else.

Only when Ryuu looks down at him completely does he notice the tears building up in the corners of Atsushi’s eyes. Ryuu stiffens, and Atsushi lets out a quiet sob.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, burying his face in the pillow he holds tight to his chest. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Ryuu watches him with broken eyes. He wants so badly to touch him, to hold him, but he can’t. He can only watch.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he says almost harshly, the smallest bit of his frustration seeping into his words. Atsushi shakes his head again, burying it further.

“That’s not true,” he whimpers. “I fell head over heels for you. I clung to you when you offered me the smallest bit of kindness. I thought you could fix everything and that if I just had you everything would be okay, somehow. And if you hadn’t felt obligated to save me, you’d still be alive, wouldn’t you?”

Every one of his words drives knives further in Ryuu’s chest. He had thought himself to be the only one, the only one that gripped his newfound love too tightly, too quickly.

“I never felt obligated,” he says, trying to keep his voice level. “I was afraid that you felt that way of me.”

Atsushi almost laughs, but it comes out broken, a hiccup allowing salty tears to spill into his mouth.

“Of course not,” he whispers. “I…”

He pauses, frowns, squeezes his eyes shut, opens them again only to watch Ryuu through tears.

“... I convinced myself that I loved you, Akutagawa.”

Ryuu can’t fight it anymore. Desperately, he reaches for Atsushi’s hand, his fingers passing through his but he holds them there anyway because he wants to, he wants to touch he wants to feel he wants to cry he wants to hold him and tell him not to be sad and that everything will be okay.

But he can’t. Because it won’t be okay. It will hurt. It will hurt until they’re both so tired of hurting that they’ll scream, but they have to let it hurt. They have to feel this. There’s no other way past it than straight through it.

“Atsushi,” Ryuu murmurs to himself as much as Atsushi, no longer looking at him but looking out the window and at the few stars poking through the city lights. “No matter why or how you felt it, everything you felt was real.”

Atsushi sniffles, but his sobs stop. He doesn’t move his hand away from Ryuu’s. For a moment, they sit in silence.

Then Ryuu takes a deep breath, taking in no air at all.

“I want you to promise me a few things,” he says. He turns back to Atsushi in time to see him nod, eyes and nose red and puffy. Ryuu frowns but continues.

“First… I need you to take care of Chuuya.”

Atsushi looks at him a bit oddly, questions obviously on the tip of his tongue, but Ryuu sighs before he says anything.

“He probably blames himself for all of this,” he mumbles. “I need you to watch him, and… Make sure he’s okay. That he doesn’t get into any trouble for my sake.”

Atsushi seems to hesitate, but he soon nods, still not speaking further. Ryuu frowns and pulls his knees up beside him.

“And second,” he looks Atsushi straight in the eye, “I want you to live.”

Once again, Atsushi looks at him with confusion, and Ryuu curses inwardly.

“Atsushi, you know what I mean,” he practically snaps. “I want you to live your best life. I want you to feel cool grass under your feet. I want you to dance in the rain. I want you to smile and laugh and love and be loved and…” He stops, his words stumbling over themselves. He sighs.

“I want you to move on.”

Atsushi’s shoulders bunch together. Looking away from Ryuu’s eyes, he buries the lower half of his face in his pillow once again.

“I… I can’t promise that,” he admits softly. The fingers Ryuu holds through Atsushi’s hand grip together.

“I know,” he murmurs. “I know better than anyone.”

Atsushi yawns, stretching a tiny bit. “Hey, Akutagawa?”

Ryuu nods, leaning towards him. He knew how this would end, he knew from the start, but he doesn’t want it to end yet.

But he has to let it.

“Yes, Atsushi?” he says.

For the first time that evening, Atsushi gives a happy, genuine, tiny smile.

“I love you.”

Ryuu opens his mouth to speak, but he can say nothing in return. He can say nothing as the image of the room fades, as Ozaki walks to him, as she puts her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s time to go home,” she says again, but she sounds distant, as if on the other end of a tunnel.

Ryuu stands, and the bed ceases to be. The last thing he sees is Atsushi’s soft face, his eyes closed in sleep, smiling still. Perhaps he’s dreaming, Ryuu thinks.

He hopes they’re good dreams.

[sinicitasartworks]

INKTOBER Challenge Day 2: “Set it off - Partners in crime” + Port Mafia Week Day 1: “First missions” (so I’ll manage to participate at least in one or two days of this fandomweek … >.<) It’s not only Soukokus first mission … it’s also the first time that Chuuya decided to himself that Dazai shouldn’t drive … except they have really no other choice. This, the tale of, reckless love, living a life of crime on the run, I brush to a gun to paint these states green and red, Everybody freeze, nobody move, put the money in the bag Or we will shoot, empty out the vault and me and my doll will be on our way, our paper faces flood the streets, And if the heat comes close enough to burn then we’ll play with fire cause, You’ll never takes us alive We swore that death will do us part They’ll call our crimes a work of art You’ll never takes us alive We’ll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners Partners in crime. Want to see the speeddrawing? -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztob8lX00GQ

[goddamnitdazai]

Port Mafia Tattoo Shop AU

Another self indulgent AU hc post nobody asked for. This is a weird mix of a high school AU too because everyone is 18 except for Kouyou (20), Hirotsu (40), Gin & Higuchi (16).~ [Chuuya] - Tattoo Artist { specializes in watercolor and surrealism but can bang out a new school tattoo and make it look like a sticker. } • Started working at the shop when he was fifteen. It was across the street from a bar he did dishes at in high school and he’d always doodle outside during his smoke breaks. One day one of the artists and partial owners walked by and offered to teach him under the table after school. • The biggest tattoo on his body is a phoenix that starts in the center of his chest and spreads down his left shoulder to the middle of his arm. It was Kouyou’s birthday present to him on his 18th birthday—she took a few of his drawings and melded it with her own. [Akutagawa]  - Piercing Specialist { known for corset piercings and intricate non-permanent piercings for photo shoots and cons } • Gin dragged him into the shop because she wanted her belly button pierced for her 16th birthday and Chuuya recognized Akutagawa from school. Weirdly enough Akutagawa had a fascination with piercings, and once he watched his sister get one he kept inching towards the piercing gun. Kouyou mention in passing they were looking to hire a trainee. He of course didn’t accept until both Gin and Chuuya pushed him towards the front desk to fill out paper work. • Under Chuuya’s watch Akutagawa started sketching more after becoming the official shop’s piercer—but his true talent lies in the intricate piercings used in photoshoots or for conventions. He’s the only man in Yokohama that can give people corset piercings without tearing or destroying the skin. As for tattooing he’s on the fence about it and doesn’t have a solid grip on his artistic style yet. [Gin] -Receptionist   • Work part-time as the shop’s receptionist and helps clean the tools with another girl from her school, Higuchi. Gin’s nervous about getting a tattoo but she loves watching Hirotsu’s new apprentice Michizou practice his new school style on clients. • Has no interest in working as a tattoo artists or piercer as a profession but she loves the atmosphere of the shop and looks up to Kouyou as a woman in power. A lot of her love and sex advice happens at the shop when she’s helping Kouyou clean her area and tools. [Higuchi] -Receptionist,/Akutagawa’s assistant  • Aspires to be Akutagawa’s apprentice but he refuses to teach until she’s eighteen (even though Kouyou offered to pay under the table like she did with Chuuya). She dotes on him, cleans his equipment, and runs his social media accounts (without being asked) and helps with daily things around the shop like filing, appointments, and cleaning. • She’s offered to let Akutagawa practice new piercings on her when they come into fashion, but the only one he’s been willing to do on her were surface piercings solely to see how long they stayed in. The experiment is still going and Higuchi is rigorous about cleaning the tiny gem pierced into her hip bone. [Kouyou]  -Owner/ Tattoo Artist { specializes in realism, water color, neo traditional } • Started the shop with start-up money from a silent partner when she was twenty and continues to run it with Hirotsu. Kouyou was originally from Tokyo but was tired of getting bounced around in the system, so when she was fourteen she ran off and started working in a restaurant where down the street from the shop. When she was fifteen she lied about her age and started apprenticing, but she was so talented Hirtosu pretended he didn’t know her real age. • Kouyou’s art has been featured in multiple tattoo magazines, and she’s actively speaking out on sexist trolls on social media in the tattoo world who try and put her down. She expects the best out of her employees and doesn’t take shit, even if Chuuya’s had a shitty day and a hangover that could kill Satan she expects his ass to do his best work or nothing at all. Has an entire cherry blossom tree up her spine with petals spreading over her shoulders down to her forearms—Hirtosu started the tradition of gifting tattoos to underage apprentices—that was her gift when she turned 18. [Hirotsu]  - Owner/Tattoo Artist { specializes in traditional, realism, and tribal } • ‘Grandpa’ of the shop tbh, and he’s always bugging his artists (especially Akutagawa) to eat and take care of their hands. He’ll point out if someone’s not hydrating enough after a long stretch of tattooing and he hates using the computers to look for references. He’d rather freehand and he’s damn good at it—it’s what he’s known for. His original and intricate designs that just come out with zero effort. • Keeps in touch with a young kid named Dazai who taught himself how to tattoo at home out of boredom. He worked at the shop for a little but kept getting annoyed with the rules and standards so he set off to start his own one-man traveling tattoo shop. Sometime he stops by to show Hirotsu his work when Chuuya isn’t there. Hirotsu learned how to use Instagram just to keep up with Dazai’s work secretly. [Tachihara]  - Tattoo Apprentice { learning everything, prefers new school } • Learns from Chuuya sometimes because Chuuya is better at new school, but he’s really Hirotsu’s apprentice. Has a hard time not getting snappy when Hirotsu makes him practice traditional, but he knows he should have a well-rounded education over specializing from the beginning. He followed Chuuya’s Instagram a few months back and tracked down the shop. Instead of asking for an interview he shoved his artwork in Chuuya’s face and stuttered about wanting to learn from him. • He has a crush on the receptionist and likes when she watches him draw, but he’s too nervous to ask her out because her brother has threatened to kill him with a piercing gun, twice. Sometimes he sneaks little drawings in notes and slides them to her when Akutagawa is in the back doing something or he bribes Higuchi to distract him so he can talk to Gin on his break. [Mori] - Owner/Business Partner • He met Kouyou as a teenager and ate at the restaurant a lot between college classes. When he mysteriously came into a large amount of money he offered to help Hirotsu buy the property out rather than lease the shop and gave Kouyou a percentage to buy her way in. He knows enough about the tactical ways of business and tattooing, and often bugs Hirotsu to convince Dazai to come back to the shop. • Too nervous to get any actual tattoos, but he once let Elise draw a picture and Kouyou used semi-permanent ink to draw it on his arm—while muttering under her breath what a pussy he was. 

[bungoustraybitchesdoubleblack]

Chuuya as a Burglar

Chuuya: [kicks down door] give me all your money or I’ll shoot

Dazai: go ahead, dying’s all I’ve ever wanted to do anyways

Chuuya: [lowers gun, sits down next to Dazai] whoa dude you wanna talk about this

[pastelzcanonnic]

Chuuya as a Burglar

Chuuya: [kicks down door] give me all your money or I’ll shoot

Dazai: go ahead, dying’s all I’ve ever wanted to do anyways

Chuuya: [lowers gun, sits down next to Dazai] whoa dude you wanna talk about this