#day one holy cow I’m so surprised and happy

[sun-e-chips]

https://artfight.net/attack/5832088.tiki-makes-a-friend

I told you I would get you and I did >:3c

YOU GOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Tiki you drew them so perfectly!!!!!!!! Their cute eyes, their fin/ headpiece and that pose aaaaaaaaaaaaa so adorable!!! And their first interaction with an outside au! I’m melting over their meeting their going to be best friends I can tell :DDD

And Softie is a Moon! Out of habit I can see Tiki following your boi around till (WB) Moon calls them back to work haha

Thank Youuuuuuuuuuu!!!! Now prepare yourself >:)

[rialynne]

Spider Man: Across the SpiderVerse Review

I have not felt this compelled to put my thoughts about a movie out there into the world for a while. The last time I did so was before the pandemic and a lot in my life has happened since then but I love it when I finally decide to watch something from a never-ending backlog of movies, especially for animation which is probably one of my first loves. 

So I lied. It’s a review of 2 films; Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse and its recent sequel Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse. Both from Sony pictures Animation, a studio which prior to me watching these 2 films, only released disappointing to bad films in my opinion (looking at you emoji movie). I finally felt compelled to watch them recently mainly to watch Across the spiderverse in theaters. 

First, I’ll make my thoughts on Into the spiderverse relatively brief. It truly is a game changer of a film for the would of animated movies. Amazing that it won an Oscar.  The animation alone really pushed the boundaries of what the medium could do, and the story was well contextualized and wrapped up. I loved the nots and references to comics throughout the film. Miles’ growth throughout the first film is truly a masterclass of storytelling of a young teenager finding his place in the world and taking on new challenges in his life. In the meantime, working to develop better relations with his supportive parents and carve out his own version of Spiderman. This is probably the best use of the multiverse concept that I have seen so far in film. The animation styles between each spider hero is great at defining characteristics. I loved how they went in the direction of Spider-Gwen for this film, it makes her more bad ass for sure and more of a character than a tragic plot motive. Her scenes with Miles are also so cute (Put a pin in that we will get into that more later for the 2nd film). Mile’s relationships with the men in this film, his dad, Uncle Aaron (aka the Prowler), and Peter B Parker are great representations of mostly healthy male relationships that I feel like isn’t as well represented in media these days. Each one of them helps Miles evolve over the first film to come into his own with his powers and with his feelings and interpersonal relationships with people. Loved the involvement of Aunt May and Penni, Peter porker and Spider Noir. Wish we got to see more of them, which hopefully we will in Beyond the Spiderverse (Put a pin on that too). I also love the influence of hip hop and the urban influence of Brooklyn in this film, the sound track is fire. Honestly what are you waiting for please watch this film.

Ok time for the big kahuna; Across the Spiderverse. WOW. Just wow. Into the Spiderverse is amazing in its own right but wow was it kicked up a notch tenfold for Across the Spiderverse. Starting off easy, the animation in this film once again is PHENOMINAL. But one element that really stood out over the previous film, the use of Color Theory, especially with Gwen. Holy Cow they nailed it with expressing subtle emotions through out this film using color theory, every single frame in this film should be in the Louve, I’m deadass. I loved the introduction of Spider-India and Spider-Punk. Loved how Pavitr literally called out Miles and Gwen having a thing lol, also the use of his bracelets, similar to a type of toy, being used in his web slinging is such a fun touch. Hobie really be that surprise MVP, who was actually punk this whole time, probably is the only one Miles trusts at this point, who loves chaos and taking down the Miguel influenced spider verse society. Also, him calling Miles Peter Pan and GWENDY…fucking iconic lol. I wish we could have seen more of Peter B Parker but happy to see him embracing Dad life with his little anarchist baby Mayday, who also helps confirm that the spider powers can be genetically passed on.

Some other notes before I get to the gushing part of this whole ass review. I loved how Miles’ parents and Gwen’s Dad evolved over the course of this film. For Rio and Jeff, they had to learn not to be helicopter parents to Miles, while also coming to grips that he is becoming an adult and still worrying over their baby. The parallels between them and my parents are astounding and the conversations very similar to what I had with them growing up at that age. Also exhibited in Gwen’s Dad, him falling upon duty as a police officer when he discovers his own daughter is Spider woman, thinking she killed her buddy but then its actually his daughter, and he resorts to being an officer. She was wicked lucky Miguel and Jess were willing to allow her through the portal, which makes sense because she did not have a home to go back to.  Also I really enjoyed all the easter eggs and the meta commentary on what Cannon is and the idea that a spider person has to suffer in order to be a spider person; and Miles being like FUCK That I’m not an abnormality and imma save my Dad and do me. Which comes full circle with what Rio talked to him about the world being harsh against him and to know that family will always be there and to nurture that inner child. Miguel clearly is drinking his cool aid too much on maintaining cannon but will he remain the enemy until all the spider people turn against him? Spot turning out to be the guy Miles threw a bagel at from the lab escape in the first film is wild. Also Spot over the film slowly becoming more powerful and will probably do something really bad to mess up the multiverse. Hopefully Miles and family are safe from all this. Also the fact the spider that bit Miles came from Earth-42, and Miles G Morales is the Prowler in that dimension. There better be an epic fight sequence in the beginning of the film between those three. Curious to see if Miles G will be an antagonist or not along with Aaron.

However, what ultimately really made me fall for this film is the decision narratively to make Gwen a significant part of the story and the relationship between Gwen and Miles. I can’t help it in a sucker for teen angst and pining. But let’s start off about dear Gwen. Good lord I feel terrible for her. She was put through the ringer in this movie. She is brought up to almost/Basically co main lead in this movie. We really get a much more fleshed out backstory of hers, dealing with how her Blonde Peter Parker died and dealing with hiding her identity from her father while he is unknowingly hunting her down. She, along with Miles are both struggling with hiding their secret super hero identities to their parents, main difference being Miles told his alternate dimension Mother, while at the end of the film when Gwen gets banished by Miguel back to her universe, she is forced to confront her father. The Color theory used on Gwen to convey her true feelings that she doesn’t state in the film is such a genius decision and it creates some of the most visually striking images in the film. The colors blue used to express her sadness and loneliness and the color pink, to express her happiness in her surroundings was a brilliant idea. I also loved how her Earth was just filled with water colors it’s like a painting I love it. Throughout the film, we see her struggling with dealing with her shitty home life, dealing with the cannon knowledge about Miles, feeling the need to follow the cannon timelines, believing she will die if she deviates from the timeline and her father would die as well, while trying to protect Miles but also having the desire to see him. She’s dealing with so much and is really put in a rock and a hard place, that in the process of trying to protect Miles, she unintentionally betrays him (same can be said for the other spider people Miles made friends with besides Hobie). Could she have told him the truth sooner, probably, but I think the outcome would be similar. However, after finally communicating with her Dad, taking the leap of faith if you will, like Miles, she is able to get through to her Dad and he breaks the Cannon event of himself dying on duty by quitting being a cop. This gives her the resolve, along with Spider-Punk’s wicked helpful homemade dimension watch to start looking for Miles and go from leaving a band and distancing herself from everyone around her, to getting people together who know Miles to help find him, and of course take down Miguel and Spot. What a beautiful arc for her, which I believe is not over yet, she still has some work to do to make up with Miles in the next film. But she’ll do so, she down bad for him lol.

Speaking of which, what really gave me life in this movie was the relationship between Gwen and Miles. Lord it is oozing young puppy crush love and I’m so here for it. It was clear from the 1st film Miles was into Gwen, and its only solidified further a year and change out from then. I mean stating you want to go to Princeton for Quantum Physics and dimensional travel…like boy we know why because you want to see all the spider homies again, especially the girl 15 months older than you that you draw from memory filling up almost every page of her, and adding her to your graffiti mural where you got bit. Looking at better photos of the note book he even drew her dancing like a ballerina, he drew her fresh drip, including new sweaters and chain chokers, and he drew her eating ramen like MY BOY you’re in a crush deeper than the deepest cervices of the ocean, you have it down so bad for her. Meanwhile Gwen while being sad, managed to still keep the half-buzzed hair cut from the 1st movie because Miles liked it. She’s shown to be constantly thinking about him, including the beginning drum sequence which is “Trust by Megadeath” (Look at the lyrics also btw, they honestly do foreshadow Gwen and Miles relationship as it stands at the end of the film), and throughout her universe missing him the one person she considers a friend. Also, she printed out a selfie of the two of them and looks at it every time she goes out as spider woman. That photo might as well be her social security card she treasures it so much. The only reason she is interested in joining the spider society also is to literally see him, which she doesn’t get to do until she convinces Jess enough to do an assignment in his world. And after finding out about his cannon events and getting an important assignment to go after Spot and stop him from messing up the universes, one of the most important missions to save the whole universes, and being warned to stay away from him, what does she do???? Ports straight to his bedroom, peroidt. She basically said Imma risk the universe for Miles; like im sorry that love bitch. Anyways she finds grounded Miles and he shook clearly. Gwen immediately goes in for the hug, and Miles be short circuiting, and trying to hide everything in his room. Gwen looking at all his drawings of her and very sweetly being all like “I missed you too”, only to slyly get Miles out of the house. They are so carefree swinging through Brooklyn and finally feel like they are their true selves. The sky also has a pink hue. And then when they get to the bank tower, their upside down talk is just so precious and done beautifully. Everything from Gwen being like I miss talking to you and Miles being like we the same. Miles inching ever so close to her about to Touch her hand MY BOYYYYY. Gwen going into how the Gwens fall for spider man, sees his hand inch closer, and then gives a very pained look mentioning that it doesn’t end well. Miles being the emotionally intelligent guy he is, respectfully pulls back and is all like “there’s a first time for everything” she gives him that look, you know that look of like I’m falling for you look, and purposefully LEANS INTO HIM. GIRL. She soooo into him but holds herself back due to all the bs she dealing with behind the scenes. At the rooftop party for Jeff, these two talking on the water tower, Miles almost finds out about Gwen tracking Spot, she gets briefly mad but apologizes, and then these two are so awkward teens to the point of like confessing a crush for real, and im sorry Is he looking at her lips wow. But before anything happens the parents show up. Gwen fumbles the bag by going on first name basis, and Rio is like “found a sweater, dis you?”. The parents come on to hard so I just feel second hand embarrassment for the both of them. Gwen makes an excuse to leave due to her tracking Spot you know the guy trying to destroy everything. She wanna touch Miles so bad she goes for the awkward hand shake. Damn. And of course what does Miles do later, he follows her to Spots portal hopping location and sees the exchange of Jess and Gwen, but Gwen before she leaves, looks out to the water tower, all the while Miles is invisible Upside down a la the spiderman kiss position. I cant yall. Also Gwen freaking out over Miles in Mumbatthan, and being all like “your amazing” to him after he changes the cannon event. That was so sweet. Its so painful to see how the ending of this film plays out with the betrayal. And his final sad goodbye to Gwen. She decides to talk to his parents, while using his jacket to hide her gear a la girlfriend vibes, to tell them how much he loves them and that she gonna find him. She is so determined and falling in love with him its not even funny. What really sealed the deal that these two I think will be end game, The fact that she can spidey sense he’s in danger IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION!!!!! Oh My god, this is also similar to the first film where she had that spidey sense to go to the visions academy. Like lord if that’s not love idk what is at this point. They will need to work out some feelings which I hope comes up earlier in Beyond the Spiderverse so we can get back to some wholesome moments before all chaos breaks loose and hopefully, they will be endgame, and still alive.

TLDR: I love both of these films, go watch them please and Sony pay your animators better

ITSV: 4/5

ATSV: 4.5/5

[msbigredmachine]

Watched Wrestlemania 39. My highlights:

Night 1

1. Right person won the US title match. Not a fan of Cena and probably never will be. Sorry.

2. All the guys in the men’s showcase match went off! Gosh! They all killed it, every one of them.

3. Seth versus Logan was expectedly good. Yes Logan Paul is an ass but that guy is great in the ring. Period.

4. KSI being frogplashed through a table 🤣🤣🤣

5. Outfit of the weekend. I don’t care what none of y’all say.

6. Didn’t really like the six women tag match. I just feel that Damage Ctrl need to split up now. Nothing is going their way.

7. Father and son arguably with the entrances of the weekend. Dom coming from prison and Rey in a low rider with Snoop bumping to two classic songs! 😭

8. This part had me screaming!

9. Dom splashing a drink in Aalyah’s face made me gasp! Excellent heel work by ex condom.

10. Rey winning made all the sense in the world. Months of disrespect ending in the most emphatic way possible. Dominik will be fine.

11. So glad Rhea won. Charlotte Flair is not interesting unless she has the title. The match was entertaining though. Loved it.

12. Lil Uzi Vert playing out the Usos was random, but I like Just Wanna Rock so it wasn’t an issue for me.

13. The Usos in all white is always 🔥🔥🔥. The main event twins!

14.Loved that Kevin and Sami wore matching outfits too. Sami is sooo over it’s crazy.

15. It was all fun and games till the Usos isolated Sami and started teeing off on him. Like fucking assassins. Then Sami kept kicking out and the Usos kept brutalizing him. That shit was uncomfortable.

16. Please rewatch the part where Jey put Sami in the corner and used him for target practice. The slaps, the forearms, the leaping Helluva kick, the trash talk. Jey is soooo HURT. That made me emotional.

17. The near falls were killing me! It got to a point when I stopped commenting and just kept watching because I was mesmerized. I didn’t want to miss a thing by talking.

18. The ending sequence. Cinema. Sami putting Jey away was the icing on the cake. Kevin’s face after the bell rang. The roar of the crowd. My own tears falling. Heartbroken for Jey. Elated for Sami. Unbelievable.

19. Hands down one of the best Mania main events in its 40 year history. Best tag team title match I’ve ever seen. And it did not surprise me at all, because four of the best in the world executed it to perfection.

Night 2

1. Nothing to say about Brock/Omos. Whatever.

2. Night and day between the men’s showcase match 👍🏾 and the women’s showcase match 👎🏾

3. LOOOOL Drew, Gunther and Sheamus beat the SHIT out of each other. Wowwww. The right man won. Gunther has a great aura and needs to hold that shit for a year.

4. That little girl in the middle of Bianca’s troupe lost her mother THAT DAY and still went out and killed her section. She is so so brave and I’m so happy she was still able to get that opportunity. She looked so happy despite her immense loss. My condolences to her and I hope she had the time of her life.

5. I feel bad for Asuka. L after L after L at Mania. But Bianca is a once in a lifetime athlete. Keep that belt on her for as long as possible.

6. I have ZERO sympathy for Shane McMahon. 7 years away from turning SIXTY and your ass still thinks you're 25. LA Knight was LITERALLY there to do this segment with. There are useful nepo babies and useless nepo babies. You can guess where I think Shane belongs.

7. Snoop essentially flying through the air just to hit one elbow drop 😂😂😂

8. Edge and Finn’s video package was TOP tier! And the fact that Russell Crowe was involved is insane!!!

9. Shout out to Finn for continuing the match with his head split open. Holy cow.

10. Great match from Edge and Finn. Really good.

11. The main event felt like a HUGE deal. Fabulous entrances.

12. Immaculate entrance by Cody Rhodes. I had chills. He looked like the star that he is. His jacket was 🔥🔥🔥 The wings on the back made it look so epic.

13. Tears in my eyes when he hugged his family and then gave his belt to Negative One.

14. This was Roman’s first grand entrance as the Tribal Chief. The pianists went off. Loved how the soft piano ended and the BOOM opening of his theme song followed right after. So intimidating.

15. He didn’t change his pants. Just his boots. Boo, Mr Reigns. That doesn’t count.

16. Shout out to Samantha Irvin and her intros. That girl is GOOD.

17. Solo the shooter, terrorizing Cody at every turn. It eventually paid off. That’s why Roman don’t talk to his brothers anymore, lol. They’re not as reliable as their baby brother.

18. ROLLERCOASTER of a match. The ejection of Solo, the near falls! 😭

19. This match would have been five stars for me if it wasn’t for the ref bump. It’s like the 4th match in a row it was happening and it’s a bit repetitive. Let Roman have a no DQ match for once so he can do what he wants.

20. My jaw dropped when the ref counted to three! I honestly thought Cody was winning. I was sooo shocked. Nothing I thought would happen, happened

21. It will be interesting to see what is going to happen next because I have no clue. Will Cody still chase the titles or will it be someone else? How badly will Roman bully the twins now that they are no longer champions?

22. Lmao at Roman using every social media platform to gloat afterwards. He knew this was the reaction he would get and he was loving it.

Overall: Night 1 was much better than Night 2 IMO. Night 1 is probably the best Mania night I’ve ever watched. Practically every match delivered and I was happy.

MVP of the weekend - Dominik Mysterio. He was flawless. Heeled it up to the nines. His match with his father was near perfect. Bright future for that young man

Line of the weekend - “This is what Dominik gave up for those bozos, Dominik deserved what he got tonight at Mania”- Michael Cole spitting 🔥 the entire show.

What did you agree or disagree with?

[nancypullen]

Oh, Happy Day!

What a week it’s been and it’s just Wednesday.  Last Saturday we celebrated the grandgirl’s birthday (5!) and her big surprise was a trip to Disney World! They whisked her away the very next morning and she has been in princess paradise ever since.  The texts we’ve received with pictures show her living her best life.  It’s so sweet, and a little hilarious.  Oh, I wish I could share photos - you’d love it. Unfortunately, her parents have a strict rule about splashing her all over the internet and I don’t blame them one bit. Suffice it to say that I’m living vicariously through her, and it’s pure joy. So I’m flying high from all of that fun, and this is also the week that our cabinets are being painted!  I don’t even have the words to explain how happy that makes me. The company that we hired has impressed me.  They showed up early Monday morning and got right to work. They sanded and primed, and when they exited at the end of the day they left the kitchen spotless.  Not even a speck of dust from the sanding. The primer cured for a day, so they came back today and applied two coats of paint. That’ll sit for a day and on Friday they’ll bring our doors back (those went to their shop to be sanded, primed, and painted) and hang them and touch up anything that needs it. The cabinets look SO good. I’m excited!  I can’t wait to get this kitchen finished. All it will take to shut me up is granite, a new sink, and a new faucet.   I’m not high maintenance, I swear.  I was promised these changes when we bought the house.  Although I do have some ideas for a bathroom remodel...

 Anywho, I had Mickey take before photos of the kitchen so when it’s all finally complete I can share it here.  Night and day! Because the kitchen has been out of commission, I haven’t done as much cooking.  Last night we had salads. Tonight I picked up dinner from Shore Gourmet. Apparently there is a local delicacy that we hadn’t heard of - Chesapeake Chicken.  Grilled chicken breasts topped with crabmeat and imperial sauce.  Holy cow, delicious!  When I pulled the container out to warm it for dinner I told Mickey, “Hey, look! The longer I heat this the more people it will feed!”

I told him that I should call tomorrow and complain, “I heated it for 50 minutes and all I got was a dry two-person meal.”  Anyway, it was really yummy.  We’re stuffed. We definitely can’t eat that way every night, but in a pinch it was a good choice. Speaking of good choices, when I die I want to comeback as a house cat.  Our girls have it made.  This morning I snapped a picture of Molly and laughed when I noticed the background.  I’ll start at the beginning. Remember the saga of my poor back? I hurt it when I packed up the Mt. Juliet house and I was really struggling with pain down my legs as a result.  Physical therapy is the answer so because I am who I am, I looked up the stretches I’d be told to do at PT an just started doing them. Massive difference!  So now when I wake up I slide a heating pad under my lower back, and do my stretches.  I can pretty much move through my day pain free if I start that way.  When I’m finished, I put the heating pad aside and make the bed. I usually toss it on top of the trunk under the window, and Molly claims it immediately.

There’s my spoiled house cat, and just through the window, waiting patiently under the bird feeder is Stanley, an outdoor cat. He waits for an inattentive or slow bird, Molly waits for the sound of a can opener.  I wonder which one is happier?  On this sunny and warm day, I’d say Stanley.  Last week’s cold weather would have tipped the odds in Molly’s favor.  We don’t know much about Stanley.  I’m not even sure of his gender.  He’s got a tipped ear with a number tattooed inside, so he’s a stray that’s been neutered (or spayed). He’s hefty, so he’s not missing any meals. He also looks healthy - bright eyes and silky fur.  He’s sweet, too.  Mickey is afraid I’ll move him in, but I don’t think Stanley is interested.  I hope I have his gender right, I’d hate to have to change his name at this point. I suppose he could be a  Hazel or a Mavis.  That’s about it from my corner of the world. I’m ready to go upstairs and soak in a bubble bath. A steamy soak, then warm covers and a good book. What a great way to end the day.  I hope that you’re just as cozy and have plenty to be happy about - bet you could list at least three things right now.  You have internet, you can read, and I’m finally wrapping up this post.  See? Easy three. Sending out loads of love tonight. Grab some for yourself. Stay safe, stay well.

Nancy

[nicnacsnonsense]

I want to break down what Mary says to Stede during the flashback in episode 4 where she’s trying to talk about his unhappiness. Because while I’m not here to shame Mary for showing up imperfectly or not being a therapist, I think a lot of people are missing the fact that she handled the conversation poorly. I certainly applaud her for making an effort, but it’s not surprising it wasn’t effective.

She opens the conversation with the line “I know you’re unhappy. I’m unhappy too.” As a start this is fine. Certainly we have to give credit to her admitting to her own happiness as a fantastic gesture of empathy and vulnerability which should serve to help Stede feel more comfortable as well. Beyond that it seems likely what Mary is attempting to do is circle back to the argument they had earlier regarding the ship in a reconciliatory way, validating his emotions that lead to his actions even if she didn’t like the actions themselves. And I do think if she had said this during the fight where it was clearly a deescalation, it probably would have gone over relatively well.

The problem is this happening much later that day, so instead of deescalating from yelling to a calm tone, this reads to Stede as an escalation from the conversation being over to Mary bringing it up to needle him about it again. Given Stede's history of abuse and harassment, it's very possible that he's even thinking this is some kind of test or trap, and if he fails it by admitting to his unhappiness he'll get in trouble again. Mary's comment about being unhappy too helps, but only if he hasn't internalized that he is held to different, stricter standards than other people.

Like I said, I don't hate it as an opening; Stede's negative reaction has just as much to do with his own issues as it does Mary's presentation. But if I were to make suggestions, I would say to get rid of the sentence "I know you're unhappy" which could feel accusatory to Stede, and replace it by making the implicit apology here explicit. For example, "I'm sorry I yelled at you for calling our lives monotonous earlier. The truth is, I'm unhappy too."

So Stede says that he isn't unhappy, which Mary replies to with, "No? Sometimes, I think I I've heard you crying. By yourself?" I understand the impulse here that prompts Mary to say that. When someone tells you you're wrong, it's a normal reaction to immediately pull out evidence that you're right. Especially when it might feel to her that Stede is being deliberately uncooperative just to be stubborn or petty. But holy cow, is that one of the worst possible responses she could have given here.

To start with, while I said Stede might find her first statement accusatory, just about anyone would feel that way about this statement, since it literally is an accusation. Her tone might be tentative, but the clear meaning here is she is accusing him of lying. Of course that's going to make Stede feel defensive.

Not only that, but Mary has no right to contradict Stede about what his personal feelings are. No one has the right to tell anyone else what they're feeling, and doing so is incredibly infantilizing. I don't care how sure Mary is that Stede is lying, she shouldn't say that, not unless she's pointing out a direct contradiction in something else that he had said. Beyond that the most she should be doing is explaining how certain words or actions of his made her feel and the impression they gave her.

We could charitably assume that that's actually what she's trying to do here, but beyond the fact that she should have been clearer about her intentions if that is the case, she should have chosen literally any other behavior of Stede's to illustrate her point. If she's heard Stede crying alone, on multiple occasions no less, then we have to assume those were deeply personal emotional moments for him, the kind that would make him feel uncomfortable and embarrassed to have overheard in the best of circumstances. And here Mary is using those private moments of pain as a gotcha to make an accusation she has no right to be making in the first place.

What the better response would be in this situation depends on what Mary wants to accomplish here. If she thinks it's important to have Stede open up to her emotionally, then rather than trying to facts and logic him into admitting how he feels, she should be focusing on making him comfortable with telling her. Tell him it's okay if he's unhappy and validate that he has reasons to be and share more of how she's also unhappy. But if she is more concerned about having a conversation about how to improve things and move forward, then just accept what he said and back her point down to something more neutral that still allows that there is a problem to be addressed; say they aren't as happy as they could wish to be.

After Mary tries to call Stede out for crying, Stede denies that he did any such thing. This prompts the final point in the conversation before Stede fakes sleeping to be out of it, where Mary says, "I know we never would've chosen each other, not in a million years, but all we have is this one life. We have to try, don't we? Otherwise, what's the point?"

I do like the bit about how they never would have chosen each other; that builds that empathy between them and it also fits in with what I was saying about validating that Stede has reasons to be upset. It's also important to recognize that at this point I don't think Mary is necessarily trying to get Stede to open up to her. I still want to assess it on that metric, but to be fair to Mary this last statement seems to be just as much about her trying to work through her own feelings as it is about trying to engage with Stede.

That said, "we have to try" is just a terrible thing to say here on a number of different levels.

1) It comes off as dismissive of Stede’s unhappiness. Yes, it’s true on some levels that unhappiness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still try, but actual compassion for Stede’s unhappiness would involve looking at how to adjust expectations and standards to account for and hopefully address that unhappiness, not just an insistence he needs to keep trying anyway.

2) It actually undermines the empathy of admitting to her own unhappiness and the fact that neither of them would have chosen each other. Now instead of a show of solidarity, it feels like another way to dismiss Stede’s unhappiness: I feel unhappy too and I’m still trying so there’s no excuse for you.

3) It carries the implication that Stede has not been trying. Best case scenario here is that he really hasn’t, and now he’s being shamed for that which is unlikely to achieve anything beyond making him feel bad. The alternative is Stede has been trying, and now he’s just been told that his efforts have gone unnoticed and unappreciated and they do not count. At that point he may well stop trying because why bother if it’s not going to be good enough anyway?

I want to take a brief detour to talk about the ship conversation and how their miscommunication there is reflected in Mary's comment about trying. To Mary, going to live on a ship is very much a case of you can't run away from your problems because you take your problems with you. Because she would literally be taking Stede, the source of her problems (both in an interpersonal sense and as a symbol of her being forced to marry someone she did not know, wouldn't have chosen, and is not compatible with), with her. So this does not look like Stede is trying to fix things here, just paper over their problems with silly distractions.

For Stede, his unhappy marriage is only one of the problems he has as a effeminate neurodivergent queer living in a society that tolerates none of those things. Running away to live on a ship where he wouldn't be facing constant disdain for everything he is from all sides would in fact solve some of his problems. Not all of them, but enough to give him more mental and emotional capacity to start addressing the rest. This idea was him trying, and it was a reasonable good faith effort on his part.

I don't have any specific advice regarding Mary's last comment. Instead it relates to my overall impression of what went wrong here on Mary's end. She came into this conversation with an open heart and desire to talk things through with Stede, but not an open mind or any interest in hearing Stede. She seems to have already made up her mind about Stede's intentions and what kind of person he is, and to be honest it's not a flattering picture. Stede does need to learn to open up more, yes, but also their relationship was never going to improve unless Mary started to be willing to hear him, and admit she was wrong about him.

[andsheloved]

reader listening to older music (think early 40's) and always keeping it secret from everyone bec she's embarrassed about it, but one day when steve comes home she didn't realize he was there and she's listening to her music and he's all surprised and just dances with his best girl?? pls??🥺

oh anon, you have no idea. what you have awakened within me. with this one.

i listen to older music (late 30's early 40's, maybe a bit of early 60's in there as well) ALL. THE. TIME. i love it so much holy cow, and i'd be lying if i don't think of a similar scenario at least once a day.

also! general thought - don't ever be embarrassed about your music taste (or anything that makes you happy for that matter), you deserve happiness! and whether that comes in the form of 40's music or not, let it make you happy unapologetic-ally!

full thoughts below the cut because i am now yearning

......................................................................................................................

'Dear, I thought I'd drop a line, the weather's cool, the folks are fine. I'm in bed each night at nine, P.S, I love you.'

The soft jazz drifted through your apartment, you hummed contently at the singers voice. Closing your eyes, you swayed slowly side to side, imagining what it was like to be there, to be with Steve back then.

You could see it almost as clear as day, celebratory red, white, and blue bunting hung from every corner, the wooden dance floor quietly creaking every once in a while as people moved about, some dancing, some chatting, some running across the floor with a drink in their hand.

You could picture him, his crisp uniform making him even more handsome than usual. You remembered all the times you had begged him to put it on, smiling to yourself.

"How'd I look?" He asked, opening his arms, turning to give you a full look, you clapped at his little fashion showcase.

"Like a real Captain!"

He laughed, "I still think I should've worn the outfit" he said, offering you his arm as he led you to the dance floor.

"Hey I never said you couldn't! All I said was-"

"It would be a little much for this whole thing I know, I know" he threw his right hand in the air, feigning surrender

"Plus... I don't think I'd ever get a chance to dance with you if everyone started standing in lines for autographs"

"Oh so that's why!" He teased "You just want me all to yourself, huh?"

"Maybe..."

He smiled one of those golden boy smiles, not un-similar to the ones he flashed on stage during his tours, the only difference being that this one, this one was genuine.

'Yesterday we had some rain, but all in all I can't complain. Was it dusty on the train? P.S, I love you'

You were too caught up in your own day dream to notice the door opening,

"Doll?"

His strong voice ripped you from your thoughts, you scrambled for your phone, pausing the music instantly

"Didn't know you'd be back so soon!" You replied nervously, you didn't know how he'd react, you'd never played your music in front of him because you were scared it would bring too many thoughts back to the surface, too many memories of the war and Bucky and all he had been through.

"What were you just playing?"

Oh no. You honestly couldn't tell with what tone he had just addressed you with, but as he walked over to you, giving you a better look at his features, was he crying? You knew you shouldn't have risked even playing it in your shared apartment.

"Billie Holiday-" You cut yourself off, "Steve, I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"

"Could you... Play it again?"

He was crying.

"I used to love that song..." A sad smile appeared on his face, how could you not oblige?

You pressed the play button on your phone, the soft melody floating through your apartment once more.

He held out his hand, raising an eyebrow "May I have this dance?"

He always had this effect on you, making you feel like a princess, even in your lounge wear.

You reached for his hand and he pulled you softly against his chest, placing his other hand on your lower back like a complete gentleman.

As the two of you danced, you could have sworn your heart beat so fast that it could fly out of your chest. He held you with so much gentle care and love, like you were the most fragile thing on this earth.

Placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he whispered,

"My best girl."

..................................................................................................................

anon i hope you enjoy! my heart is now soaring! also i know this song came out in i think 1945 so not very period accurate, but it's 'ps i love you' by billie holiday! one of my personal favorites and it's too cute! ily and mwauh!

[church-of-beelzebeef]

Before Beelzebeef

Hi there friends! Would you look at how young I was in that photo? The name’s Bunny -- Bunny Curious. Yes, from that Curious family! You may have heard of my daddy, Marshall Curious; he’s a top llama researcher. And my mama Cherish is a college lecturer. We’re just a whole bunch of scientists!

Well, all except me. I’m just lil’ Bunny Curious, the oddball of the family. I was never any good at science -- I’d always fall asleep in physics, and my chemistry experiments kept catching fire, and the less said about the dissection incident in ninth grade the better. Besides, it’s so boring! I hated sitting through stupid classes about quadratics and quantum and equations; I just wanted class to be over so I could head to band practice. I’m a violinist. I’ve played ever since I was a little girl, and I’m pretty good at it too!

At first, Mama and Daddy didn’t mind me being in band, but as I got older they disapproved. Daddy said I had to think about my future; he said I couldn’t earn a living playing music. And Mama said it was interfering in my schoolwork and I should put academics first. We had a lot of arguments about it. One time we fought so badly, I packed a bag and ran away. Let me tell you, I was so scared; I was just a teenager! But I knew I could make it, and I did -- I hitchhiked all the way from Strangerville to San Myshuno, with nothing more than my violin on my back and freedom at my feet. 

That was quite a few years ago. Would you just look at me now! I’m still in San Myshuno, and I’m so glad I get to spend all day doing exactly what I love. Sure, it’s tough -- busking for a living can be super hard -- but I’m so happy. It’s just me, and my music, and...

...my son! That’s right, I have a kiddo! I had him about a year after I came to San Myshuno. His daddy isn’t in the picture, so it’s just the two of us. Sometimes it’s a struggle to make it work and pay the bills, especially living in the heart of the Spice Market, but my darling Steward makes it all worthwhile. 

The great thing about living here is how many people there are to play for. The Spice Market is a tourist hotspot, which means a lot of buskers want to be here, and sometimes you have to fight for the good spots! Just the other day I was busking down by the docks when I realized the crowd was thinning out. I turned around, and what did I see but a bunch of other musicians stealing my audience!

There they were, singing and dancing and drawing in quite the crowd -- my crowd! You gotta be tough in this city, so I went over and told them in no uncertain terms to move on. To my surprise, they asked me to join them! They said they’d never jammed with a violin before and they’d be happy to split their proceeds with me. I’m not about to turn down an offer like that!

So I joined in, and we had a blast! The music was incredible and the crowd were so alive. I don’t think I’ve had that much fun in a long while. Even Steward loved it! 

Afterwards, one of them -- he said his name was Nestor -- struck up a conversation with me. He said they were members of the San Myshuno Mission for The Church of Beelzebeef! I’d heard of The Church of Beelzebeef -- I think they’d branched off from Watcherism? -- but religion isn’t something I know a lot about. I knew Mama and Daddy said religion distracted from science, and they’d warned me about ‘crazy fundamentalists’ who thought there was someone controlling our every move -- as if! -- but these guys didn’t seem crazy. They seemed okay! Especially Nestor, who asked if I wanted to come along to their meeting and hang out with them for a while longer.

And what do you know, I had a blast! Pasture Noah -- he’s the guy sitting down on the left -- told us a story from the Beelzebeef holy book about an injured cow who was ignored by a priest and a farmer, but rescued by a carnivore. Then afterwards they all sat and talked about what it meant. I’d never heard anything like that before! It was so interesting to hear them discuss a story like that. It wasn’t at all dry and dusty like the stuff I had to listen to growing up.

Afterwards, Nestor surprised me with a gift; my own copy of the Beelzebeef holy book! It’s called the Bovinomicon. Nestor said he’d love to know what I think of it, and that I’m always welcome back at their meetings. How sweet is that? I think I might read it later once Steward is in bed.

Dag-dag for now!

[laverna-fanfictions]

To Be Free - Finn Shelby Imagine

I AM BACK! And I’m back with a long waited request -it was requested at January????-  so here it is, and I’m really sorry for making you wait for it. I combined the two requests together.  I hope you’ll enjoy! And feel free to ask/say anything to me!

Request: @beth-winchester21  Please can I request a finn shelby x reader where I'm esmes younger sister and the shelbys treat me like family and I get really excited for Christmas and everyone finds it hilarious and I end up getting drunk and finn looks after me thanks xx

@beth-winchester21 Hi please can I request a finn shelby x reader where I'm his girlfriend and esmes younger sister and I've known him and his family since I was 3 and they treat me like family and they find out my parents abuse me and make me give them my money and work for them and the shelbys save me from them and can I have a cute moment with finn please thanks x

WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse, buying someone from their family, mentions of physical abuse, drunkness.

WORDS COUNT: 1346

   You have been working your ass of because of your parents, they have always treated you as if you were their worker- or slave. Carrying all the wood although your brother always sat at the corner, drinking, and playing card games with his stupid asshole friends. His friends were always mean to you, well “mean” didn’t describe it very well, they were harassing you all the time. Cornering you, pulling your skirt in front of everyone. Your family didn’t care that much, they only cared about your brother because he was a male. Esme was your only escape, and after her marriage John became your haven too.

The Shelby’s were like a family to you. Finn and you were always hanging out, annoying his brothers by the Garrison’s. Eavesdropping their deals, sneaking booze out of the bar, stealing Arthur’s hats and razors. They never once treated you like a stranger, you were like their sister. And that connection became stronger after the marriage between Esme and John.

Finn figured out your situation after you became his girlfriend. He saw how the other boys treated you- how your family did. One night, your father beat you so bad that he broke your arm, gave you a purple eye and almost broke your ribs too. Finn found you fainted at your tent, grabbed you and carried you to John and Esme’s house. Esme was freaking out, cussing every bad word out, throwing shit at the wall while John tried to calm her down. Things were about to turn sideways for your family, you could feel it, but you were too sedated to care at that moment. Polly brought a doctor to help you, the whole Shelby clan was at your side talking about what they were going to do. They couldn’t start another war with your family, that’s why John and Esme became married at the first place.

“I know what to do.” said Finn, still looking extremely mad. His eyes were all dark and dangerous, his eyebrows were still frowned. You could see how stressful he exhaled because of his nostril; they became large with every breath. “What?” Tommy sound angrier, eyeing the doctor time to time. “We will pay for her. That’s the only language they understand. So, we’ll make a deal.”

“Oh, nice.” you mouthed, still dazed. “Another way to show my family how I am their slave.” your words were slurred, but they still understood you. Finn looked at you concerned. “I know how you feel, Y/N. But this is the only way we can save you.” you tried to silk your shoulders, but you remembered your arm was broken. “I know but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m their slave.” Tommy wasn’t listening to you anymore; he took Arthur and John with him and went to your parents. You were worried sick about to possible outcome of this deal because your parents were dangerous. But you let your eyes rest, you couldn’t deal with the pain anymore. So, you fell asleep.

-

“Y/N, please bring us that bottle of whiskey I put aside.”

Tommy requested with a soft tone; he had a business meeting at the bar. After “buying” you out from your abusive parents, Tommy decided it would be better for you to work for yourself and yourself only. He let you earn decent money, enough to get yourself a new place to stay. The guys didn’t want you to move out, but they knew eventually you had to. After working, you had to get back to Tommy’s because it was around Christmas and you and your new family were about to get together. You were unbearably excited, head to toe, feeling numb in your fingers. You’d never celebrated Christmas before, let alone a dinner party with your family. Hell, if there were a party, you would be the one who do all the work around.

You and Finn were sitting near the Christmas tree, drinking your whiskey while chatting. His fingers were brushing through your now better arm, caressing the bandage. “Does it still hurt?” you silk your shoulders “Not anymore.” you smile, gave him a kiss on the cheek and put your head on his shoulder. You were watching them, arguing passionately about something. Polly and Ada were somewhere else at the house, Polly probably was reading the tea leaves of Ada.

You were excited about that night because it was the first decent dinner with anyone. You wanted to look good, so you dressed up- more than them. They have been mocking you all night long, especially Arthur. He kept commenting on your newly bought pearls, the kind gift of Tommy. You were like a mad cow, you accept that, bothered everyone all day long about what to wear or what to do. But in the end, you were full of happiness thanks to your new family.

“I am going to get myself a new glass.” you told Finn and stood up from the couch. You were a little bit dizzy, well it was a really strong whiskey so that was not a surprise for you. You wanted to get over your excitement so, you’d like a new glass.

While you were walking back to your spot, Arthur grabbed you by your waist and held you high. “Holy shit Arthur!” you screamed, some of it because of the pain you had in your ribs. You held his shoulders in the purpose of not falling, but your glass had already fallen. “Y/N’s first official dinner with us as our family!” he shouted, turning you around up by the air. You were feeling nauseous, you were about to throw up. “Fuck, Arthur, stop!” he didn’t listen to you, kept you up there. And then, the inevitable happened.

You threw up, while still up in the air, made a whole mess around the carpet and unfortunately, some of it got to his suit too. All his brothers started to laugh, mostly at Arthur. “Fuck Y/N!” he let you down, took off his jacket and put it aside. Tommy called over his maid, although he looked slightly amused, he didn’t want to make it obvious. His carpet was a mess.

Esme was still laughing like crazy and held your hand. “Let’s get you cleaned up, pukey.” you nodded in response. She helped you clean your mouth, sprayed the perfume, and slightly squeezed your cheeks to give you a little color. “How are you feeling, love?” she sounded concerned, which was a rare thing because she never showed her worrying side to you before. You smiled and hugged her; you loved your big sister more than anything in the world. “I’m happy.”

“About puking?”

You giggled, squeezed her more with your arms. “No, about today. About this. I feel free.” she kissed your cheek and smiled back at you. “You are free, love. And you got Finn.” she winked and let you out of the bathroom. Finn was waiting you there, looking a little bit disturbed. “Are you alright, Y/N? You look pale? Did Arthur hurt your arm or something?” you let him to hug you, to kiss you. “I’m fine, Jesus. I just had too much to drink.” you kissed him back, walked with him outside to the garden. You two were sitting at the bench, holding each other closely. “You know Finn, you don’t have to worry about me all the time.”

“I will worry about you darling, because I love you.”

You raised your head, looked at him surprised. Yes, you two loved each other but you’d never said it out loud before. The three words made you warm all inside, a huge smile creeped all over your face. You were young, little kids even, but you always had that feeling with him. Even when you guys were little, you knew Finn was the one. Finn was the one who cared about you the most, and you cared about him the most. So, you let yourself say those three words back to him.

“I love you too. More than anyone.”

[lululawrence]

hello!! i was wondering if u had a werewolf tag for fics? i would search it but not sure how to use tumblr that well :)) if not do u have recs? LOVE U HAVE A NICE DAY<333

hi babes! i don't have one here... damn that's a fucking great idea. hahaha i'm HORRIBLY unorganized when it comes to tags for fics on tumblr. i mostly use ao3 for the organization of fics. so! that said, i defo DO have recs for you!

you didn't specify pairing, which makes me smile because i get to rec rare pairs in addition to larry and hope you read them hehe okay, here we go!

He Carries The Key by me (8k, NR, niall/louis) - this fic is the only one of mine i'll include, okay? promise haha but it is also one i wrote for wordplay just a week or two ago and it's werewolves and a pack fic and i just had a lot of fun. very soft. much fluff. many feels. i hope you enjoy. lol

There's Fur Everywhere by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (4k, G, Harry/Louis) - this is a 5 times fic, and it's HYSTERICAL. it feels slightly spoilery for me to even be including it on this list, but also... it's still fucking hilarious. emmu is queen of the crack fic that makes you feel all the soft and wonderful things, and she doesn't disappoint with this one.

I Hear Them Calling for You by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis) - this fic is... not for everyone. like at all. please please please read the tags and the summary and if you don't like it or it makes you uncomfortable, then close right out of it. as for ME i loved what she explored with it, all the emotions and the story and worldbuilding of it all. i thought it was fantastic and incredibly interesting. it is A/B/O, pack fic with claiming and... yeah. it's amazing.

Campus Creatures by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything and @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld (25k, E, Harry/Louis) - werewolves! vampires! fae! university! frat houses! science research positions being vied for! enemies to lovers! like... not sure what more you could ASK for, but there's also a fuck ton of humor and nudity and sexual tension and... it's just a lot of fun. can't go wrong, really. haha

From What I've Tasted of Desire by @evilovesyou / 4ureyesonly28 (72k, T, Harry/Louis) - okay so i'm including this one even though like... harry and louis aren't werewolves. but it's a twilight au, so there ARE werewolves and i'm ASSUMING you know twilight and therefore know that means you know they're pretty involved and... that's true for this fic too. ahha for real, though, i love evi's writing and this fic was one of my first introductions to it and it was a fun read, so i wanted to include it in case it had enough of the werewolf flair to entice you haha

Compete Against the Stars by @daggerandrose / amomentoflove (31k, M, Harry/Louis) - omg okay so this one is like ANGSTY AF and i FUCKING LOVE IT because it's one of those fics that you HOPE you have figured out, and you probably do, but also there's SO many twists and turns to it all that you just have NO idea how it's all gonna work out and omg are they gonna just ruin it all for themselves by being stupid and ahhhhh the tension of just FIGURING OUT HOW THEY GET IT ALL TO WORK OUT!!! and of course it does. hahaha but HOW??? this is a RIDE and in my mind feels like a longer fic than 31k in the best of ways, they did an amazing job of packing a LOT of world building and storytelling into those 31k.

the straight for your heart (wolfpack au) series by foreverkneeld and foundfamilyvevo (96k, T/G, Multiple or No pairings including Niall/Louis, Zayn/Liam, OT5, and Shawn/Niall) - This series is the ultimate hurt/comfort and healing pack fic series omg. it was recommended to me when i was in a super hard time and my anxiety was so bad i couldn't focus on anything. These short fics that all focused so much on healing and found family were exactly what i needed. so so soft, so lovely. I still haven't read them all because i'm saving them for when i need them. they're glorious.

when the air ran out and we both started running wild by darlingjustdont (48k, M, Nick/Louis) - OMG OKAY LISTEN THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVS. a tomlinshaw werewolf pack fic?! ahhhhhhhhh i was SO happy when i discovered this one. louis is alpha of the pack and things are... shaky, shall we say. there's a lot going on that he's worried about and then he meets nick and it's kind of enemies to lovers? okay, more than kind of. but omg the FEELS. SO. MANY. FEELS. but also danger and a;lsdgkhas;ldfkja just please read this and rave with me because i don't have many i can talk about this one with and i LOVE IT.

You Smell Like by mystic_believexx (185k, M, Harry/Louis) - i had no idea this fic was so long hahahaha wow ANYWAY louis is human, but he's always been close with harry and therefore basically a part of his pack. but then one day harry leaves and louis kind of accidentally becomes the pack alpha. even though he's human. but there's SO much more to it. there's just sooooo much with the friendship and the pack bond as well as the danger and trying to figure out what the hell is going on... it's just a LOT and one of those epic fics that i still think about even though i read it...a year and a half ago i guess. but it's amazing and i highly recommend it if the word count doesn't scare you away haha

Canyon Moon by @eeveelou / delsicle (41k, E, Harry/Louis) - this is a lion king au, made a/b/o werewolves! i really enjoyed this one a lot, actually, because i could absolutely see the parallels, but also the way it was adapted made it so it wasn't always obvious how it would all play out. it was a really interesting and cool world building as well.

The Truth I Can't Explain (Smoke and Mirrors) by @fallinglikethis / FallingLikeThis (9k, M, Harry/Louis) - ohhhhh this one is SO cool cause it's by tabby so she made it incredibly fun and fascinating to try to figure out. there's magic and mages and werewolves and feuds and they're basically on the eve of battle and holy cow it's just SO cool.

One Touch Is Never Enough by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (4k, E, Harry/Louis) - once again lauren delivers and there's just so much i keep giggling about with this because it is SO fun. there's a lot that louis is dealing with in this fic hahaha and the way she writes it all is so funny. the poor man just wants a fucking massage! lololol it's lighthearted, humorous, and basically filled with fluff, crack, and smut. hahaha

Knot Safe For Work by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis) - a;sldkgha;lfdkjas listen i forgot about this fic until i found it in my bookmarks for werewolves because jenna writes so many fucking amazing fics that when i think of werewolves, i think of at least two others first, but i could NOT do this rec without this fic because now that i remember it exists i am going to have to go and read it again! hahaha harry's a werewolf, louis is a wizard, there's knotting dildos and table sex and... just read it. lolol

Saving's What I Need by @jaerie / jaerie (17k, M, Harry/Louis) - writer louis is out for a drive one day and he hits a dog. THIS POOR DOG! he takes it to the vet and tries his best to take care of it... but things are not as they seem. because yeah, harry is defo not a dog. lollllll this fic was hilarious and sweet and omg there's just so much to love about it. there were so many more emotions in it than i expected. loooove!

Out of the Wild by @jaerie / jaerie (22k, E, Harry/Louis) - this fic has such fun world building, which is actually a huge strength of jenna's fics and you'll hear me rave about it with all 50 of her fics that will end up on this rec list (not really 50, but ya know lol). louis is a fairly wild and undomesticated wolf and harry's from the city and they end up as roommates during the x factor process. oh my word this fic is so fun because of all the challenges they're going through PLUS the wolf side of things and just... the way they work together and navigate it all as well as falling for each other is pure gold.

Out With The Old, In With The New by, you guessed it, @jaerie / jaerie (7k, E, Harry/Louis) - listen, just. this one is smutty as hell and it's gonna take you some places that some people will be uncomfortable with, which is totally valid and fair. please be sure to read the tags and make your decision on whether or not to read accordingly, but also know that its written in a super interesting way that is also pretty amazing if you do decide to give it a shot. lol

Instincts by @marastarfar / StarFar ( 100k so far - it's a WIP!, T, Harry/Louis) - omg listen. i LOVE mara's fics so much and when this first posted it was a one shot little thing that was FASCINATING. i loved it! and then i was happily surprised when i learned more was added to it. and then it was turned into a wip and omg i am so far behind now but i trust mara with my life because i love everything i've read by them and what i've read of this so far is INCREDIBLE so just. yeah. lollll

There's a Power in What You Do by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (7k, T, Harry/Louis) - i just read my comment i left on this one and it was just mainly me begging for time stamps because there wasn't any way for her to improve upon the perfection of this fic (nesting! softness! even a silly comment in her endnotes to perfectly cap it all!), but i still wanted to remain in the story just a bit longer and learn more about them. hahaha anyway, those time stamps aren't happening, but this fic is still complete perfection.

amaryllis by @hattalove / hattalove (147k, E, Harry/Louis) - for a long time this was thought of as THE werewolf fic. if anyone was talking about a werewolf fic, it was probably this one. is that still the case? probably. i'm not sure. ANYWAY. there's a REASON it was THE werewolf fic and that's because this is amazing. it sucks you in and you feel like you're truly a part of the action. it's filled with the vibe of found family and wanting to figure out what happened while also adjusting to your new life and just... so many feelings. so much angst. SO fantastically epic.

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Infatuation - Jaemin [Pt. 2]

University AU

TW: Obsessive Themes, Stalking, Drug Mention, Descriptions of Following/Stalking, Language, Minor (Non-Graphic) Somnophilia

Genre: Suspense, Thriller, Psychological Horror

Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her)

(E1/E5) (2/2) [Chapter 1] | [Previous]

[Main Masterlist] | [Infatuation Masterlist]

Word Count: 10.7K

Notes: Here’s the second part of what I decided to split into two! For consistencies sake I might do this for the other endings too, I ended up adding more things to this part to make it longer, haha, bringing Jaemin’s end to a grand total of about 18K, holy cow! Sorry for the short delay on this, I hope you guys enjoy!

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in or condone these actions. I would never wish any of these actions to occur to the Idol(s) mentioned in the writings of these stories, nor do I wish any harm on them.

It happened rather slowly, he thinks.

This fairy tale romance he had trapped himself in, it was in plain sight, and yet he walked right into it willingly. Na Jaemin always considered himself a smart man, he was top of his class in high school then had his ass royally handed to him upon entrance to university, but he bounced back from that shock. He always considered himself confident enough to call the shots, to make the big decisions, he considered himself reliable. Until that first day of the quarter rolled around, oh how his life turned upside down. He thought he had all that he wanted, the validation from the masses, the high marks anyone would ogle at, anyone would look to him with a varying amount of envy.

Until he saw someone walk trying to pull open a door that clearly said ‘push.’

Of all the people to become helplessly obsessed over.

It happened to be an idiot.

An idiot who suddenly made him act like an idiot, never had he wanted to know someone more. He didn’t know it then, that this obsession would develop, at the time you were simply another face in passing. But he couldn’t deny that he fancied this story that was in development, a perfect fantasy that will have its happy ending, a wondrous tale of trials and tribulations all in his name, he was curious of the outcome, the grand finale that will tie this story in a beautiful ribbon.

He didn’t think there would be such a shocking plot point, however. Stepping out of the bus, looking down at his untied shoelaces for a second, then getting hit by a swung open door to his favorite coffee spot. With all of his books on the floor and his already broken glasses knocked off of his face, it should come as no surprise that he felt more disappointed than embarrassed, as it was just that point in the quarter where he and many other students could simply not give a fuck. He didn’t even stand back up right away, he just sighed. Has his life really come to this? He had forgotten that his friend had to borrow his car so he had to take the bus of all things to get to campus, but any person who’s known him only for a second knows that he can’t do so much as speak without at least two shots of espresso, today was not his lucky day at all.

“Sorry! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I wasn’t paying attention! Are you alright?” He knows this voice, wait, no, it can’t be. Surely he’s just imagining this, right? Wouldn't be the first time he thought that he heard it. Then he noticed a strange blur being handed to him, and once he realized that it was his glasses, he took them slowly and placed them back on.

If time could stop, then it did at that very moment.

Record scratch, background blurs, muffled music, this scene was straight out of a romantic comedy. It was an affable moment, one that he was certain that he’d look back and laugh over, but little would you know that it was a marking moment in his life, the beginning of a new chapter.

Now, what were you doing here?

More importantly, did this mean that he had to amend his notes? Did you drop Literature? Why? Were you failing? Were you overwhelmed? Was there anything he could do to help at all? Wait, slow down here, you talked to him. This was progress, a step in the right direction. You had said a full sentence and you looked concerned for him.

He could stare at them forever, they were the first thing he noticed, a door to the soul as many would say. If you wanted to read someone, anyone, look into their eyes. There was a certain psychology surrounding that area that many should be more aware of, they hardly ever lie. There’s a reason why the typical romantic poet or author would spend sentences among paragraphs on describing them alone. Visually they are appealing and symbolically they stand for so much. In your eyes, he saw many things, but among the most they were so full of love and kindness, he was entranced, he wanted to keep them forever, keep them for himself, he wanted you to look at him differently than you looked at anyone else.

But soon time would resume, and he would have to come up with something to say. What would he say to you? Wait, wait, come on, Jaemin, think. He had practiced for days and nights what he’d say to you once you came up to him. He stood in front of mirrors for hours on end to practice. He had the scenario in his head already. He’d take your hand, allow you to help him up, then he’d listen to what you had to say and respond appropriately. He knows not to rush things, to let events take their natural course, so he wouldn’t ask for your number right off the bat or anything, but he would take the first step. But, what did he say?

“Sorry,” he didn’t even properly say it, he didn’t even know if you heard him. He just grabbed his things and ran in.

Like a loser.

He fucked that up. Nothing ever went according to plan whenever you were involved and he despised it. He was so used to knowing how outcomes will play out and how to achieve them that whenever you came around and fucked everything up he’d get wordlessly pissed. And it would always be around you of all the people. That image he worked so long on building would get moved to the trash and deleted permanently whenever you were within eyesight of him. It was humiliating, and that was only in simple terms. How could he be that fairy tale prince you’ve been waiting for if he keeps screwing up around you?

He just placed his books on one of the tables and walked up to the counter, then another familiar face, and one he’d rather not see.

“What can I get you?” The barista smiled. Jaemin stopped himself from grimacing.

This guy again, of course, he remembers the way he looked at you at that one party, he was the sole reason why he couldn’t speak to you that day and the horror. He didn’t even want to go, he just tagged along with Jeno since he was so insistent on getting a foot into the frat, and of course it was a pleasant enough surprise to see you there also, drunk out of your mind but still the most wonderful thing he had seen. He was about to approach you himself until this very barista in front of him stepped in instead and, goodness gracious, the way his face grimaced. The clumsy fucker ran into him and spilled jungle juice all over him, it was the most mortifying moment of his life to date because you saw all of it. He ended up going home without doing a single thing that night aside from nursing a hungover best friend.

“Just a regular coffee please, add eight shots,” he says.

“What was that?”

“Regular coffee, eight shots. Make it a venti too,” he answers. He turned his phone over and allowed Johnny to scan it.

“Alright, it’ll be out in a few minutes,” he nodded his head and got to work on the order while Jaemin leaned against one of the tables, waiting patiently for the drink. With thoughts plagued of you, he fought back the smile on his face. What a way to start the day, but at the same time, he couldn’t help the huge amount of concern that he had. He had hoped that you were doing well, but he’d always freeze up before being able to say anything. He caught a brief glimpse of himself in the reflection of the window and shook his head, had he known that he would run into you, he’d at least have done his hair instead of leaving it in its unkempt state as usual. “Jaemin, your coffee’s ready,” Johnny placed it on the pickup area and Jaemin took it without another word said.

He took his time walking to campus, listening to his shuffled playlist while staying as alert as necessary in the bustling city. While he walked he couldn’t help but let his mind wander, he wondered what it would be like to just have you walking next to him, he wondered what you’d say or how you’d act, were you anything like he fantasized you to be? He wanted nothing more than to get to know you properly, but you just had this effect on him and he loses all of that charm that many people know him for, hell, he fell on his ass in front of you and gawked like a child would looking at a lollipop. He shook his head and adjusted his glasses, he had been meaning to fix them properly for some time but he hasn’t had the opportunity. He’s been playing this game, of sorts, and he’s afraid that he was in danger of losing.

It would seem that he wasn't the only one that sought your attention, a true curse that had been bestowed upon you, and one that he was determined to break. Just like a prince with a true love’s kiss, this was one curse that he would be certain to save you from. He had everything planned down to how he would confess to you, but he knew better than to get his hopes up, nothing ever went according to plan around you. He could have all of these notebooks filled with facts and tidbits about you but he’d never have enough to figure out how to properly say a word to you.

“Na Jaemin!” The voice of his overactive best friend was the first thing that greeted him on the dreary campus.

“Jeno,” He answered him bluntly.

“You’re here early, I was just heading to class, but I can skip if you want,” Jeno offers.

“And do what?”

“I dunno, but anything beats history,” he says.

“Sounds fun, but I have to get to Physics. My TA’s apparently searching the lecture halls and making sure we all show up,” Jaemin frowns.

“That’s ridiculous, seriously?” Jeno follows Jaemin as he walks towards the Physics hall. “Why is he doing that?”

“We don’t participate in discussion,” Jaemin scoffs. “I’ll see you in an hour, Jeno,” Jaemin walked into the lecture hall, leaving Jeno outside.

The two met at orientation, they were paired for an ice breaker game and Jeno hadn’t left his side since. Don’t misunderstand this situation as Jaemin being particularly annoyed at Jeno, he’s actually quite grateful for the companionship, it’s just that their two personalities greatly contrast each other to the point where it somehow works out. Both of them easily confide with each other and despite the disparity in understandings the friendship works quite well. The best way Jaemin could describe it is as a balance, they both keep each other in check. Save for the evolving plot between you and him, Jeno has no clue about that. Well, kind of, he knows that Jaemin has his eye on someone but Jaemin ensured that Jeno never learned the extent of that curiosity, for obvious reasons.

He sat in his usual spot in the middle rows, it was close enough to see the screens comfortably but far enough so that if his professor was feeling particularly annoying that day he wouldn’t get called on. He pulled his laptop out and opened the screen, ready to turn on the MacBook until his eye caught a familiar someone who he didn’t remember being in this class, the same someone who came to be the only person to make his heart skip every other beat.

Now… when did it start?

Jaemin thought to himself while he sat back in the lecture hall, he didn’t recall you having this class, and he could only get so much from looking at the reflection on his laptop screen. You were with him again, of course you were, that nuisance of a best friend, it very nearly made his blood boil to see you with him, what did Renjun have that he didn’t? He wondered if you remembered him at all, he was in your orientation group too, you know. One of his many regrets was that he didn’t take the initiative then to get to know you, no, he waited a couple of years to finally realize how head over heels he was for you. Then, Jaemin looked at his reflection on the screen. He was wearing large wireframe glasses that broke in half at the bridge quite some time ago, something he had lazily repaired with some tape and called it a day. He hadn’t properly styled his hair in some time either, and maybe the ‘I-Don’t-Give-A-Fuck-Anymore’ college student style was overdone, he could only wear the same three hoodies for so long before people stopped caring. He really only took care of his appearance for photo ops or big gatherings, but when it came to a casual day he couldn’t care less. Apparently, no one recognized him anyway, and if they did they never said anything. The stark difference between him and his internet persona was jarring, to say the least, maybe he should work on merging the two if it meant that he wouldn’t look like he didn’t care.

He wasn’t presentable, to say the least.

Now Renjun, on the other hand, was well kept. Hair was always done well, clothes ironed, he, unlike many, actually had his shit together. The way he presented himself everywhere was relatively stagnant, it very rarely wavered. Something many should be envious of when it came to the studious man, but Jaemin was only ever envious for one thing, which happened to be sitting right at Renjun’s right. What to do to get your attention? Jaemin wondered. You accidentally shoving him over in front of that Starbucks was probably the best thing to ever happen to him this month, to be honest, but what could he do on his end? At this point, he was even willing to befriend the boy to your left just to get closer to you. He tried before at the library, but the amount of notes he had was only basic, it was the application that would be the toughest obstacle. Maybe. But that exchange in the coffee shop, he knew something was there, did you feel it too? The spark between your hands when you handed him his glasses, he couldn’t have been the only one that felt that, surely.

It was the second time you had ever spoken to him. The first being that time you asked him for the study guide, goodness gracious. If he wasn’t careful he could’ve gone entirely red just thinking about it. The way your fingertips grazed his, the way you looked at him when you thanked him, even the way you spoke to him drove him insane. With his heart racing and his head pounding, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, nor would he want to. He couldn’t get a single word out that day, only handing you the study guide and nodding when you thanked him. It was a harmony, almost, the way you sounded. He often let his mind drift back to that day, a low guilty pleasure of his and one he would never admit aloud.

Well, he had always been thinking about you since he saw you on the first day of the semester, but at that time it was just simple infatuation, something he had expected to long go away once he moved on to the next girl or guy as usual. But it didn’t. No, it just grew more, distance makes the heart fonder, his mother would say, and never did he believe it until now. With only four rows between him and you, he was reeling.

He remembered that day clearly, when you walked into chemistry lecture with notebooks and coffee in hand, you were dolled up for your first day, as was everyone, but unlike everyone, you kept it up. He himself had dressed for the first day impressions, but after realizing that no one else gave a shit he had just resorted to rolling out of bed and driving to school. But now, it looks like he’s going to have to put a bit more effort into this. How else could he catch your attention? He has spent too long watching from afar, too long fantasizing about what could and couldn’t be, no wait, what should be.

Even now his mind wandered, he had run so many scenarios from just looking at you. From things as simple as conversations to things as complex as weddings, he had his entire life with you planned to the very detail. If he could he’d even put it down in writing but he hadn’t had the time to even consider a good plot. He does, however, herald himself as amazing. There are times where he’d even be able to delude himself enough to believe that you were actually there speaking to him. Even now, while he was staring at you through a fucking computer screen, he could imagine just how your hands would graze his, just how they would hold onto his, how they would…

Maybe he should stop there.

Thoughts like that were only for the safety of his room, not the perils of a university hall.

He feigned interest in the lecture and stared at the middle projector screen, something about Rotational Motion and springs, something he could always read up on later, but he should write a note or two down, he can only keep a blank document open for so long before it looks sketchy. Truthfully, he didn’t even know why he had his laptop out anyway, it’s not like it was in any way practical to use a simple pages document for physics. And the old drawing tablet he received as a gift was getting on in years. He dug his hand through his hair, messing it up even more so than it already was, it was just so amazing to him how overwhelmed you could make him, but good god he hoped he didn’t look like an idiot right now. He looked around surreptitiously and, as expected, everyone was still focused on the lecture.

This effect you had on him, he wasn’t necessarily a fan of it. He had always known exactly what he wanted and when he wanted it, and not to mention how to get it. He understood just how everyone acted to the point of blatant manipulation, until he met you. He was just playing a game with himself, trying to guess what someone was going to do next, it was just a way to pass the time while the professor droned on and on about the syllabus, and usually he did rather well, then he did it with you and he was wrong on multiple occasions.

That must have been it.

It was simple intrigue that turned into love, yes, that’s how some of these things start, right? In all of those novels he read and all of the movies he’s watched it usually started as simple harmless intrigue. And in the end, they always end up together, never had he seen an enjoyable movie where they hadn’t. Yes, his story will be just like that, authored by none other than the Na Jaemin. He glanced at his computer screen again to catch a glimpse of you, then he felt his heart stop.

It felt like Renjun was looking right at him through the reflection.

Jaemin threw his hood over his head in an instant, a natural response for him, he didn’t want you to see him in this state more than you already had. You deserved perfection. And, at the moment, he wasn’t that. He looked down at his drawing tablet and scribbled a few equations that were on the board and, taking a deep breath in, he looked at your reflection again, and yet again his heart ceased to beat.

Where did you go?

He glanced around the lecture hall. You weren’t even supposed to be here in the first place, it threw him off entirely and now his notes would mean nothing. He stood up quietly and walked out of the lecture hall, not caring if his TA noticed him there or not. Once he was back out into the open, he surveyed the courtyard before him. Aside from the unfamiliar students, there was no sign of you, then he picked up your voice very faintly. He now looked towards his left and there you were, walking off with Renjun to what he assumed to be the food hub.

He made sure to walk around you, crossing the courtyard in its entirety to lay low. He had overheard that you were now more aware of your surroundings, so to speak, such discouraged that one second year, he didn’t remember his name, but he was quite the eccentric fellow and he decided not to spend more time on him than necessary. But that could also spell problems for him. You’d be surprised how often you both ran into each other and you never knew, nor batted an eye towards him, and he was okay with that, of course, he didn’t want to rush things. But even he grew tired of simply being in the same area, he wanted more, and he wanted it soon. He brushed shoulders with another student, getting pulled out of his thoughts at the sudden reaction.

“Jaemin! I haven’t seen you in a bit,” the upperclassman smiles.

“Hello, Jungwoo,” he waved his hand slowly.

“Off to class?”

“I am.”

“Ah, good luck studying then,” Jungwoo walked off first before Jaemin continued on his way down, but he did catch Jungwoo crossing the courtyard and walking in your general direction. Yet another obstacle. Jaemin shook his head and pushed his hands in his pockets. If only you knew the competition he was dealing with, maybe you’d have some kind of change of heart? All these villains coming after you, he didn’t know how else to describe them. How horrific, to be the jewel in the eyes of criminals, he couldn’t help but be worried.

He sat a couple of tables away from you and Renjun, out of the attention span of both of you but still close enough to hear a conversation if he so strained his ear. So you really were aware of your stalkers, that much soothed him but also put him on edge, you were never as observant as you should be but now you were more likely to catch onto him, but hopefully you’d notice the much too enthusiastic junior who would walk past the large glass walls. Or not, you always surprised him. He reached into his backpack to pull out his materials, might as well do some work while watching you, right?

“What?!” The sudden rise in your voice startled him into dropping his drawing tablet. He turned his head towards you and saw Renjun standing with his hands on the chair’s back.

“Whoa, (Y/N), I’m just going to grab a sandwich at Subway…” Renjun’s voice was shocked and Jaemin scoffed slightly at that. He could tell that you were on edge, more so than usual. He looked away, afraid that you’d catch him. He caught a few more words of your conversation before a particular phrase stood out to him.

“You know what? I’m just going to go grab a bag of chips from the small store over there, okay?” Jaemin’s phone was out in an instant, shooting a text to Jeno, who had just started his shift.

That Jeno, he never really knows when to keep his mouth shut, one day his big running mouth will be the death of him, which is what Jaemin was slightly afraid of. To reiterate a point, Jeno was one of the only people Jaemin really talked to on a normal basis, as regretful as it sounds, he’d hate it if something happened to him. He watched the exchange through his peripherals, all while typing at his research paper. Jeno had that same stupid smile he always had on while he was telling you what Jaemin assumed to be that your food was paid for. As you grabbed your things Jaemin refocused on his computer screen, just narrowly avoiding your watchful glances.

Renjun stood up this time, walking away from the table and Jaemin felt himself relax. He couldn’t tell if Renjun was onto him or not, especially after Renjun pointed him out earlier, Jaemin realized that he’d have to be more guarded now, he can’t risk being caught, or else the other two would find a way to swoop in and take his place, he worked hard to be here, and he’s not going to risk it all because of your over-observant friend. He wondered if Renjun would become a problem, and he secretly hoped that he wouldn’t be, it was hard to cover things up now with all the surveillance throughout the city. Upon his return, Jaemin once again strained to listen to your conversation, but was only able to pick up a few words.

Chemistry, studying, overthinking, ignored. Those were the words that really stuck out to him at first, or at least they were the ones you said the most clearly, the rest of the hushed conversation was lost over the chatter of students.

“… month ago,” your voice was still quiet amongst the mass, but Jaemin was able to piece together the main point of the conversation. A whole month? That’s how long you knew? He had been watching you for a while now, and he wasn’t even sure about the others, not that he particularly cared. He then noticed another hurdle bounce into the food hub with a particular skip in her step.

“Hey, sorry I’m a little late,” she walked up to your table just as Renjun pulled a chair over and placed a bag of McDonald’s on the table. “Got you guys french fries.” The one thing Jaemin was grateful for was Somi’s rather loud volume.

“I love you,” your voice rang in his head and he swallowed the squeak that was about to come out of his mouth. He wondered what that phrase would sound like if it were directed to him, what tone would you use? How low or high would you say it? Your smile, would it be sweet or sultry? Already he was adding it into his fantasy, one that he would no doubt indulge in tonight. More conversation, most of which Jaemin could care less about, until a particular part.  “Then there was the time I went home late…”

Now, that wasn’t him.

He couldn’t think of a time he followed you home, or at least not recently. He leaned towards your table slightly, your voice very quiet while he listened to the story. His first thought was Jungwoo, he lived in the same apartment complex as you but he quickly remembered him saying he had committee meetings for STEM Council that ran until ten at night, there was no physical way for him to be able to follow you home at that time. Then came Johnny, he couldn’t tell whether or not it would be him because it could equally as likely be that weirdo from the pet shop. Jaemin never concerned himself with Johnny’s practice schedule, but he realized he had no choice but to ask Jeno about it later, what with the two being on the same team. And from there he’ll deduce whether or not Sungchan had the guts to try.

“If you want us to move in with you, I’ll do it in a heartbeat, just say the word,” Somi��s voice, loud as ever, interrupted Jaemin’s assumptions. Jaemin ceased typing in his document, his hands were subconsciously typing out the very thoughts he had been pondering over, and listened in again.

“I’ll ask my parents if I can move in with you, you know how they are,” Renjun, what was just a pebble in the road had turned into a landslide as of late. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about Jungwoo anymore, he was smart enough to know that Somi wasn’t as airheaded as she let on. There have been a few times where she nearly caught him staring and many more where she pointed out Johnny, particularly at the party.

It would seem that this game has a whole new rule set that he didn’t account for.

And with that, the days came and went, he had been able to figure out that your nigh stalker was indeed the zealous fraternity nut and, after a few strings were pulled, Jaemin was able to keep him occupied for the rest of the school year. He had only seen it in passing, but it was something about a sudden drop in GPA after an anonymous tip was delivered to the Student Disciplinary Committee about a student who was bribing other students into giving them the answers. Who knew an entire fraternity would be involved? He felt bad for having to throw Jeno under the bus with him though. He had found out a majority of the proceedings through the newly admitted member to Nu Gamma Tau.

“So, how’d you notice her?” Jeno sat across from Jaemin in the library.

“Who?”

“Miss Bumble Girl!” Jeno laughs, naming you after the humble store you bought your lunch at.

“(Y/N)?”

“So that’s her name, she’s pretty.”

“She is.”

“Oh man, you really do like her, huh?”

“How did you assume that?” Jaemin flipped through his book, writing down information about his chemistry project.

“I’m pretty sure the only other name you know on campus is mine, I don’t even know if you know your professor’s name.”

“That’s stupid.”

“You only ever call them professor!”

“And?”

“You only talk to me.”

“And?”

“It’s just my observation, dude.”

“Alright,” Jaemin flipped a page in the textbook again, just briefly seeing you exit the elevator. “Put this back for me, Jeno,” he closed the textbook and slid it to him.

“Where… where does this even go?” Jaemin quirked an eyebrow, he wouldn’t know, this was the STEM library, Jeno had only ever gone to the humanities one.

“Aisle 18, row 4, shelf 7.”

“Whoa, you remembered that? You’re crazy, Jaemin,” Jeno took the book and left. It was the only textbook that mentioned doxylamine, you’d need it. Perhaps he was just being petty, but he was certain that no one would pay any mind to the ripped-out page in his pocket, Jeno didn’t even bat an eye, whether that was intentional or just his brain being focused on something else. He wanted you to rely on him, after all. He had always been the professor’s favorite, just a simple request during office hours was all he needed for you and him to be partnered together, yes he wanted things to happen naturally, but with the quarter drawing to a close maybe a small push was necessary. Just as Jeno returned he saw you walk into the necessary aisle, then re-emerge with the clunky textbook in hand. Finally, you entered a study room, out of sight. “What are you writing on?”

“Doxylamine.”

“What’s that?”

“Chemical compound.”

“For…?”

“Organic Chemistry.”

“Hold on, I’m gonna get you a coffee, I forgot how weird you were without it,” Jeno stood up again and walked towards the elevator, the coffee machine being on the first floor.

“Finally…” Jaemin was wondering when he’d get the hint. He finished up his notes and stared at the compound.

Doxylamine was an antihistamine whose most well-known side effect was drowsiness, it could be found in many “nighttime” versions of medicines, from what he knew. He was only familiar with it because he interned at a lab momentarily, and they were working with it, thus he was relieved to see it assigned to him for his final project. Jeno returned with two cups in hand.

“Eight shots, just how you like it,” he says. He sits down and opens his computer again right as Jaemin drinks half of the cup.

“What are you working on?”

“Final paper for history. I keep switching in between prompts and I can’t stick to one. Every time I get a good amount done on one prompt I suddenly feel more confident with the other,” and Jeno continued. It was a bit cruel, but Jeno could be rather chatty, especially with the caffeine that was now coursing through him, that question should be getting him going for a while, at least. It bought Jaemin some time to think through a plan of his. This partnership won’t last forever, with only a few weeks left of the quarter, Jaemin will need to establish more of a relationship if he still wants to keep talking to you.

His thoughts initially moved to Somi, he could easily befriend her, he recognized her amongst his many Instagram followers, and from what he’s observed she was always open to meeting new people and befriending them, the most notable instance of this being with Nakamoto Yuta. But, as he stated before, she’s observant, too smart for her own good, and would no doubt catch onto his true intentions if he wasn’t careful enough, and that’s not a risk he’s willing to take. He already had somewhat of a friendship building with Renjun, having been in the same group a few times and having exchanged numbers quite some time ago. He could easily cultivate that relationship aside from Somi’s, she was hardly a variable in this equation.

Ping.

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive.

Jaemin swallowed a nervous sigh.

“What’s up?” Jeno stopped talking.

“Uh, it’s fine, don’t you have class soon?” Jaemin looked at the clock and Jeno followed his gaze, gasping at the late time.

“Oh god, you’re right! I’ll talk to you later, Jaemin!” Jeno hurriedly packed his things and rushed off to his seminar. Jaemin sighed with relief when his phone pinged again, but his eyes grew wide instead at the contact name. He turned his phone over, his heart pumping at a mile a minute, he knew that Renjun gave you his number, but he didn’t think you’d text back so soon. To be fair, he’s had your number for quite some time, he had googled your information decades ago and found your number attached to your LinkedIn so he saved it through there.

It was amazing how even through text you could make him all hot and bothered like this. His face was red, and no doubt the tips of his ears were a dead giveaway alongside that. It was embarrassing, almost, he’d never had someone make him act this way, it was very nearly a blow to his pride. How could you be such a wonderful person even through a screen? He was entranced, he always was with you. He couldn’t even type out proper texts without multitudes of typos that were too embarrassing to send out, and thus stuck to short ones.

He felt bad for sabotaging your activity, but he was certain that Seokjin would overlook it for him at least, he was the favorite student, after all, with the highest grades. Or, at the very least, that’s what he asked Seokjin to do, just a simple overlook of your no doubt messy activity sheet.

Watching you through his computer screen, he saw that that was what Seokjin did, assuming from your sudden relaxed form and Seokjin’s notorious point-and-nod warnings. He wondered what was going through your mind right now, he was never able to tell, so unpredictable. He noticed you looking over at him, you must have figured out that he was your partner, who else could it be? No one came close to his grades, he was the best partner for you. He could easily overlook all of the things you said about him in the past, you didn’t know, you couldn’t have known it was him, he kept a low profile for a reason. He looked up to the screen as the list of partners appeared and, sure enough, your name was next to his. He saw you get up and walk towards him.

‘Alright, relax, Jaemin, you practiced this.’ That was true, he stood in front of mirrors to practice what he’d say to you, any person would think him to be insane. He kept himself preoccupied with his laptop, busily writing down notes to play it cool, just as he practiced. He’d turn to you first, ask you about the project, maybe crack a joke about how ironic it was that you were partners given that Renjun already gave you his number. He had it all planned out, then you tapped his shoulder and he felt every nerve in his arm tense.

“Hi, I’m your partner for the project?”

“Oh, what a coincidence,” Stupid. That’s all you have to say to her? What could he do, you threw him off his train of thought, the plan went to nothing, as usual.

“Ah,  yeah, I have a discussion after this class and I promised my roommate we’d watch Criminal Minds together, so maybe we can meet up tomorrow?” Right, your roommate, he almost forgot about her.

“Yeah.”

“Sounds good, well, you already have my number.”

“Yeah.” If only you knew.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Well, it’s 3:50 so… I’ll head over to my discussion now.”

“So then we’re meeting at the same place tomorrow?” He’d go there anyway, but he didn’t want this conversation to end just yet. He’d speak with you in discussion after this, but maybe he could keep a conversation going. He was never the best conversationalist, but he’d try for you.

“Yup, same place. I’ll treat you to coffee.”

“Okay, see you then,” Jaemin walked past you. Sirens were going off in his head, he couldn’t do this. You were too sweet, he’d give in to you if you continued talking to him for even a few more seconds, he was already afraid that his face had turned red and he couldn’t bear the embarrassment. But this embarrassment would only grow, you both had the same discussion and went the same way. There was no point in him breaking off from you and going another way, not that he was complaining, it would be more awkward for you both to show up at the same place after splitting.

You both soon came to a stop in front of the door to your discussion room. You stood in front of the door rather awkwardly, and if only you weren’t standing right by the handle, he would’ve opened the door for you.

“Uh…” He wondered what you were thinking, but you made no sign of saying anything else.

“I have this discussion too,” he finally said. He could practically see the realization wash over your features. Did you seriously not know he was in this class with you? Granted, he had always arrived before you, but he at least thought that you would spare him a glance. He had to be honest, that was a little disheartening. Then again, he never really made an effort to stand out, that could’ve been it. It must have been his fault.

“Oh, haha,” you cleared your throat and he just nodded.

“So,” he hesitated for a moment, briefly forgetting what he was going to say, “are you going to open the door?”

“Right yeah, I was going to do that,” you spoke in a rushed voice, did he make you feel awkward? That wasn’t his intention. You opened the door and it slammed into the side of his foot, he winced silently as he only slightly lost his balance. “Whoops, sorry,” your voice was small and he nodded again, he was sure he’d say something stupid, so instead he reached over you and opened the door wide enough for him to walk past you. He watched you rush to your desk, he wasn’t usually fond of sitting near the front, but he’d make an exception today and sit next to you.

“Hi,” you said to him. Confused as ever, he thought that you’d go through some development upon finally realizing your predicament, but there he sat, corrected.

“Dr. Mao said discussions this week were for working on the project,” he said. He was surprised that you didn’t remember, you were usually very attentive in class, this problem of yours must really be wearing you down and he felt slightly guilty for that, maybe he should let off a little, surely you didn’t need him all the time, hell you barely even knew that he existed. Admitting that hurt him, he was always around you and he was surprised that you were just now noticing, but there’s no arguing with the facts.

“Right, right,” you hummed. “So, doxylamine, right?”

“Mmhmm,” he took out his worksheet and slid it over to you. You looked through it with what he assumed was amazement.

“Whoa… I guess we don’t need my noted then,” you laughed.

“The project’s easy enough, I can handle all the writing, if you want,” Jaemin says. He’d rather shoulder most of the work, you had enough to worry about as is.

“I can make the presentation then! I’ll do the physical one and arrange the PowerPoint.”

“Okay, we can do that.”

“Mmhmm, I’ll set up a google slides for us to work on together, and I’ll bring the materials for the physical model tomorrow.”

“It’s a plan.”

“Yes, right.”

Jaemin opened his laptop next to yours, opening the email you sent him for the shared slides, and you both worked on making the slides according to the rubric, he only wrote brief notes on each slide as to what they will include on them for now, he figured that he’d just add everything in later and let you make the whole thing pretty, there was at least a week to work on it anyway. The good news was that he already had the materials for the physical aspect of the project, his previous chemistry professor did a project of the same type as this one and he hadn’t used it since his group did the honors of assembling a molecule instead. He was surprised though, he knew that you were studious, but you really were putting a lot into this project, going way above the rubric. You didn’t have to go out of your way, and he was sure that part of it was to make up for the various awkward run-ins you’ve both had, but that wasn’t much of a problem to him. He was just glad that you both interacted. He couldn’t wait for those moments to just be funny memories, things to look back on in the future. In no time at all, fifty minutes passed and Seokjin signaled the end of the discussion class.

“Remember that the project is due by your final period, which is when you and your partner will present your molecule. Good luck and I’ll see you all next week.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Jaemin stood up. He wanted to say more to you, but he had to practice self-restraint, he’d see you tomorrow anyway.

Tomorrow couldn’t have come any faster. He was practically on the edge of his seat all night waiting. What would he do? What would he say? How should he dress? The only thing that separated this from a normal date was the fact that you were meeting for a science project of all things. This would be a lasting impression, he didn’t want you to think that he was an aloof person because he usually did take care of himself. It was already a red flag enough that you were treating him and not the other way around, he had to make up for that somehow.

Maybe he should bypass the plan this time, it’s not like it ever did him any good when it came to you. But it wouldn’t hurt to have an idea of how things would go, right? Everything that happened tended to be the exact opposite of what he expected, maybe some reverse psychology would work in that sense.

Keep it casual, it’s not like you were getting dinner together, this was just a science project at a Starbucks. No need to go over the top for this, even if he thought you deserved it, it wouldn’t do him well if you thought him to be uptight.

Those were only some of his many thoughts while he sat in the Starbucks. His nose was buried in his book while he waited for you. Johnny wasn’t on today, sadly, it would’ve been nice to see his reaction to you and him being there together, but it was a blessing in the end. Johnny was rather unpredictable, Jaemin noticed, he often gave in to impulse decisions and figured things out along the way. He heard the doorbell chime and he looked up.

“(Y/N),” he said your name like it was natural. It didn’t look like you noticed him, then again, maybe he did dress a little too nicely for the occasion. “Over here,” he waved his hand this time. He could say that he was proud of the way you were looking at him, a mix of shock and pleasant surprise. He rolled his sleeves up, the room inexplicably getting warmer, while you sat across from him.

“You’re early.”

“I just got here,” maybe he should’ve ordered something before you got here, the caffeine boost would’ve helped his confidence immensely, but he didn’t want to risk you thinking he was being rude for not ordering you anything. Wait, that would’ve been a great idea. He should’ve done that instead, maybe it would’ve gotten a number of points on his end.

“Oh, okay… so what can I get you? I’ll order it for you.”

“Venti black coffee with eight shots.”

“Eight?!” Your shock amused him, and he could swear that he felt his lips quirk up a bit.

“Eight,” he answered. He needed that boost if he wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t make a fool of himself in front of you.

“Okay,” he watched you go up to the counter and order the two drinks. Jaemin pulled out his laptop in the meantime, the slides had remained untouched since yesterday. Upon your return, you copied his movements and entered the slides yourself. “Have you added anything since yesterday?”

“No, I figured that I’d wait until today so we could discuss it,” Jaemin answers.

“Okay, cool. I found a couple of articles that we could use, let me email them to you really quick.”

“(Y/N)! Your drinks are ready,” the barista calls. You were about to get up, but Jaemin stopped you.

“I got it,” Jaemin volunteered, you’ve been doing a lot already, the least he could do was pick up the damn things for you. He walked up to the counter, grabbed the two drinks, then returned. “Did you bring the materials for the model?” He noticed you walk in without the box, so he already knew the answer, but he figured that he’d give you the benefit of the doubt. But upon your reaction, he already had the answer in mind.

“Fuck…” Jaemin only placed the coffee in front of you. Were you so preoccupied to have forgotten one of the most important aspects of the project? Apparently so.

“I have the materials in my apartment, we can just go get them there if you want,” he offers. He was certain that he still had all the necessary parts in his kit, if anything only a couple of bonds should be missing.

“Ah, that’s perfect! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to forget.”

“It’s fine, I had the materials from another class anyway.”

“That’s good, I can still put it together though! I can still do my part,” you smiled.

“Alright, my apartment is just a block away so it shouldn’t be too far,” he drinks some of his coffee.

“Good then,” you packed your things again and he grabbed his messenger bag, pulling it over his head before waiting for you to follow him. You both left the café and walked towards his apartment.

It wasn’t until you were both about to cross the street when he realized what was happening. You were coming over to his apartment. You were about to step foot in there, had he cleaned recently? He hasn’t dusted this week, but he didn’t think you to be the kind to run your hand on any surfaces, that would be ridiculous. Maybe if he diverted your attention to something else you wouldn’t think about overanalyzing his room.

“I live in the complex above the Muji there,” he points at the stationary store across the street. “Fourth floor, so right about there,” he pointed at the window closest to the edge.

“How much is it?”

“Probably $3,000 monthly. It’s because it’s in a busy area.”

“I can tell,” you said. “My apartment’s only $1,000 monthly,” you continued. So that’s how much you were paying, he had wondered that for a while. You lived on the other side of campus, which was part of the reason why he never bothered himself with following you home, simple laziness mixed with the knowledge that time spent going there would be better spent on other things. You both walked ahead of the mass of people trying to get home and got to the otherwise safely, this time he opened the door for you.

“Just so I don’t get hit by a door again,” he said teasingly. It would be better to make you feel a bit more comfortable, it must be nerve-wracking to come into someone else’s apartment for the first time, he would’ve, at least. He did, actually. When he first went to Jeno’s apartment he was afraid of accidentally pissing off the other’s roommates, who were completely out of his comfort range by all means.

“That’s probably a good idea, I probably would’ve spilled that coffee on you,” you walked in ahead of him and into the narrow lobby. Jaemin waved at the security guard and held up his keys so he knew he was a tenant there and you both entered the elevator.

“So $3,000, huh?” You looked around the clean elevator. Jaemin nodded in response. It pinged at the fourth floor and you both walked out to the end of the hallway and Jaemin opened the door.

“Come in,” he walked in first and stepped aside for you to enter. This was it, you’d see what his apartment looked like. For a second, he panicked, doing a brief survey of the first room to be sure that it didn’t look horrible, and luckily it all looked decent. You continued to stand just outside of the doorway, and Jaemin heard a small worried voice at the back of his head, did you suspect him of anything? “What’s up?”

“Nothing, sorry, uh, why don’t you just grab the materials and we can head back to Starbucks?”

“I mean, if you want,” Jaemin hums. “But it’s kind of far to be carrying metal materials.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you shook your head. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” you walked in and he closed the door behind you. That was a close one. He would’ve agreed with you if you wanted to go back though, he didn’t have a problem with it. As long as you were comfortable he didn’t mind. The last thing he wanted was for you to associate him with anything negative.

“The materials are in a box over in the closet,” he nudged his head towards the door next to you. You placed your coffee on the kitchen island and walked over to the aforementioned closet, pulling it open and grabbing the needed box from the floor. While you were doing that, Jaemin took it as a chance to make any last-minute cleanups to the area. He spotted a familiar notebook on the coffee table and he quickly grabbed it before chucking it into some random cupboard. He’d prefer that you didn’t see his extensive notes on you, not today, at least. He watched you walk over to the coffee table and slowly place the box on top, he should’ve offered to move it when he had the chance.

“These are some expensive paperweights,” you laughed.

“They are,” Jaemin answered from the open kitchen.

Then, a sudden despicable plot formed in his head. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. What’s a good book without a climactic point? He looked at the bottle of NyQuil left on the kitchen counter, he had meant to put it back up days ago after lending it to Jeno when his roommate had a cold, and it had since sat on his counter. Doxylamine was an ingredient of the medication, a cruel coincidence. He wondered how quickly its effects would work.

“Want me to warm up your coffee? It got a bit cold.” The words came out before he could properly formulate a plan. This wasn’t how he wanted this chapter to end, he was acting impulsively. But what if this was the only chance you’d be so close to his grasp?

“I’d appreciate that, thank you.” Was that permission?

It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. His head was pounding with some mix of whatever conscious he had left versus the devious thoughts he had, but all of that were quickly overtaken by desire. You were here, sitting on his fucking couch, for god’s sake. He looked at the bottle of NyQuil in his hands, then at your coffee cup on the counter. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He opened the lid of both, briefly glancing over his shoulder to see if you were paying attention, then he poured less than half of the bottle into your cup, mixing the liquids together with a butter knife, then sealing your cup again. There was no going back now. He placed the cup in front of you and sat next to you.

Briefly, your legs brushed past each other, and again came that spark of electricity that moved through him. Did you feel the same? He fought the urge to bounce his leg, he wondered if this impromptu plan of his would work or if it would be for naught. He busied his shaking hands by pulling his laptop out of his bag.

“Give me a second to look through these articles you sent me,” he looked through the email you sent him, feigning interest. He felt his breath stop while you reached for your cup, as your hands wrapped around it, he could hear his rational side telling him to stop you. To take the cup from your hands and chug it down and let this obsession end there. His conscious begged him to do so, to preserve what sanity he had left and call it day, then never speak to you again. You’d end up just like many other infatuations he’s had.

But he didn’t do anything, no, he kept his eyes trained on his computer screen while you drank the coffee. He didn’t do anything. His and your fates were sealed, and they were destined to be together now, he’d be certain of it.

Now for how long it would take. How long until you fell asleep in his arms? With a normal dosage of NyQuil, it would take about half an hour, but he must’ve given you at least three, maybe more, he wasn’t paying attention. What were the side effects of overdosage? It would take a whole bottle for it to be fatal, he knew that much, but with the amount you’d ingest if you finished your cup you’d at least have nausea, maybe some mild hallucinations, and immense drowsiness was definitely not out of the question. How long would it take?

“Oh, I’m going to have to leave before six, if that’s okay,” you said. Your cup was in your hands, resting on your knee while you looked through the PowerPoint.

“That’s fine,” he said. Maybe you’d be awake enough to make it out of the door, his rational side reasoned, maybe this wasn’t the only option. You’d get drowsy and go home to sleep it off, then he can return to his original plan and act like this horrific act never happened.

“You’re not going to ask?”

“Why would I?” It’s not like you’re going to make it out of the door. No, he shouldn’t think that way, that’s too depraved. “We have a week to do this, so we’re in no rush,” he prayed that you’d fight through the drowsiness now. What had he done? You’d hate him for life. That’s not what he wanted, he wanted you to love him the way he loved you. He wanted you to obsess over him the same way he did. He didn’t want you to harbor any hatred towards him, that would kill him inside out.

“Right,” he felt panic rise up as you drank more coffee. He should’ve told you to stop, taken the cup from you, asked to try it, and then down the whole thing.

But he didn’t.

“Mmhmm.”

“I’ll bring this model home with me later then,” you finished the molecule in your hands and placed it on the table. Jaemin hurriedly chugged the rest of his coffee, suddenly feeling parched from all of the conflicting thoughts in his head. He skimmed through the abstracts of the articles, surely there must be some distraction to the guilt that grew in him.

“Thank god for the university’s access keys,” he had to stop thinking about it. He glanced at your cup, clearly still with some of the sleep-inducing mixture in it. He should take, take it now.

“Mmhmm, I guess our tuition helps with that at least.” Take the damn coffee, Jaemin.

“Have you read these?”

“I just skimmed through the abstracts, why?”

“No reason, just curious,” he swallowed harshly, his throat remaining dry.

“Please tell me that Dr. Mao is going to keep this structure and we don’t have to take it home.”

“I hope so, otherwise it would really just become a very expensive paperweight,” Jaemin placed his laptop down. Take the coffee. You held a hand to your head and Jaemin grew more concerned. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, I overslept today and I think it’s catching up to me now,” you sighed. It’s not too late, he could take the cup from you.

But he didn’t. He wanted to, he wanted to go back to his original perfect plan to woo you over like the knight in shining armor you deserved. Had he resulted to being the villain in this story? The villain that would keep you locked in his high castle? As you finished the coffee, he realized that it would appear so. The climax of this story had reached its highest point, and he could feel the falling action start to take place as you put the cup down on the table. You held a hand over your mouth to mask the yawn while you grabbed your laptop. There was no going back now, Jaemin realized, he had to see this plan through, how would he explain what you were feeling right now? How could he divert attention from the obvious? There was no way, while he watched you struggle to fight off the sleepiness, he realized this. He had become the villain.

And, truth be told, he preferred that.

It’s more fun to be the villain, after all.

“(Y/N), are you alright?” He asked you. Your hand was digging into your hair now, you were clearly having a hard time, and Jaemin fought back the deranged smile that threatened to rise, he had to at least wait for you to fall asleep, it would be rude, but he almost couldn’t help it. “Can I do anything to help?” It didn’t look like you were registering what he was saying, but that was to be expected with the amount of NyQuil you ingested. Should he say anything more? Your face was in your hands now, then you leaned sat up more, your eyes starting to dilate.

Screw it, he couldn’t resist anymore.

He reached over and stroked your hair, it was different than he had imagined, it was nothing like his fantasies. He slowly pushed your head to his chest, could you hear how fast his heart was beating? Could you feel it? This is what he imagined for months, to hold you like this, he nearly pinched himself to be sure that he wasn’t dreaming, but he knew that this was reality. He swerved off course to make this sudden decision to hold you like this, he never would have if he stuck to the original plan, or at the very least it would’ve taken longer. He leaned down to your ear and said one of many phrases he’d been longing to tell you, one that would close this chapter of this fantasy novel quite nicely.

“Sleep well, my love.”

Then he saw your eyes close, and that smile he had been holding back finally broke out while he buried his face into your neck. You were all he ever dreamed of and now you were all his. His entire life he worked to appease people, but now all of that came to fruition. He wouldn’t settle for this, he’d never do that. He will treat you like the princess you are to him, as long as you complied, of course. He sighed dreamily, all that stress was now gone. No worrying about others who fancied you, no worrying about nagging best friends or observant ones, all he had to focus on was keeping you happy, right? That’s all you needed, and surely you’d stay.

You wouldn’t have a choice.

General Tag List: @vickylamore​ @yeongwvnhi​ @mizzdivagirl7-blog​ @sehunnies-hunnie96​ @roses09020617​ @bat-shark-repellant​ @cloudreads​ @awesomei @raeincitizen​ @here-aeth​

Infatuation: @lofied​ @beefchippp​

[stevenbasic]

“Hi Dr J, I’m glad we finally get to chat…”

Holy shit.

——

Earlier that day, I’d been told at the front desk that there was a lady from Evolution Pharmaceuticals on the line, and that she’d like to speak with me. Aubrey had always been good about screening out the sales pitches, the irate patients, the people with whom I really never needed to actually talk. So that she was pulling me aside for this call told me that this one might be something I should probably take...

But - ugh. No. I didn’t want to. This had been a long day, a long week so far - and it was only Tuesday! God, the past few months had been more and more exhausting, humiliating and emasculating with each passing hour. And the more I learned, the more it seemed that this company was at the heart of my troubles. Yes, it offered the opportunities of great financial rewards for the practice with this clinical study trial in which we were going to be participating. Since Jeanette, my previous Office Manager, had left, the mismanagement of the business had us in dire straits. Without the money from Evolution’s study and the “Lean In” grant from the women’s advancement group, I’m not sure we’d still be afloat. So, yeah, maybe I should have taken the call.

“I’ll call them later,” I told Aubrey, and grabbed the films I needed for my next patient.

That had been three hours ago, before my little hallway meeting with Melissa. Since then Gianna - some woman who’d wanted to speak to me about the trial - had called two more times. Left messages. Really wanted just fifteen minutes of my afternoon. Needed to speak with me. I refused each call.

Finally done with patients, sitting in my office at the end of the day as darkness crept in from outside, I sighed as Brittni from the desk buzzed me. She said that Gianna was on the line again. “Can I transfer her?”

“No,” I replied on the intercom, noticing that a little green light had blinked to life on the camera I had clipped to my monitor. I hadn’t seen it before, this light. In fact...when did I get a camera on this computer?

“Tell her I'll call tomorrow...” I finished.

I had set back to finishing some patient notes on my desktop when, suddenly, my screen flashed to black. For a quick moment I thought - oh no, a crash - but then a new, unfamiliar window appeared, and my mouse pointer began moving on its own accord. What the…? The window went full screen and next thing I knew I was in a video chat with-

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were avoiding my calls…” the woman onscreen spoke, laughing casually as she tossed her hair...

“oh, uh…” I was immediately agape. This was who’d been trying to call me all day??

“Anyway...Hi Dr J, I’m glad we finally get to chat…”

Holy shit. This girl was gorgeous. Look at those tits.

As I stared, still shell-shocked and speechless from having my computer hijacked out from under me by a bosomy corporate careerist, she went on to introduce herself as Gianna Albertini, from the clinical trials department at Evolution Pharmaceuticals. She explained how excited she and her team was to get the study off the ground at the practice. Things had been fast tracked at the FDA, they were just waiting for some rubber stamps, and everything looked very promising for their product. She apologized for not being able to meet in person, at least for a while. “I’m on some new retroviral treatment, and they have me quarantined at home,” she explained with surprising nonchalance, “yadda yadda yadda…”

Finally, after a good several minutes of watching her talk - and she held my attention easily, her rack possibly rivaling Melissa’s - she let me get a word in edgewise. I was still confused by how in one moment I was working on my patient charts, and then in the next I was in a video chat. “H-how did you…?”

“Sorry,” Gianna laughed, casually waving away any privacy concerns I was currently about to voice, “I had to remote in, take over your desktop. I really needed to speak with you.” Beyond the blatant intrusions tactics she was obviously willing to employ, there was something in this woman’s eyes, her demeanor, that was making me more and more concerned as the conversation - such as it was - continued. She may have been acting relaxed and friendly, decidedly informal, but there was a seriousness just below the surface that even I could see, even through the screen, and even in the face of those enormous tits. “Plus, maybe it’s actually better we do it this way, rather than on the phone,” she said, as she sat up nice and straight, “So we can see one another’s...smiling faces.”

Gahh...

As she got down to brass tacks, this young woman went on to describe to me some of the details of the new wings in our building into which the office would be expanding, how much more space we and Evolution be acquiring to fulfill the needs of the trial, and when it would all be ready. “Construction is ultra-fast tracked,” she said, “should be done within a few weeks.”

Weeks?? I marveled, silently incredulous. I’d seen the plans; it was a huge project. I’d figured months, if it ever really got done at all. But, the teams did seem motivated, and there were a lot of them, working day-in and day-out, all through the night. Maybe, perhaps? Could they pull it off in weeks?

We also talked about the structure of the trial, what it would involve day-to-day, and the long-term forecast. Evolution seemed ready to set up permanent shop with a clinic in the building, by taking over much of the lease of the new space, with the study just the first step in the door.

“You’ll be listed as the lead investigator,” Gianna explained, continuing on to detail the ins-and-outs of the trial, “but don’t worry. We’ll have plenty of people in place. You really won’t have to do too much, or deal with anyone at the main office. You’ll be reporting just to me...”

“r-reporting to you?” I asked, trying to ignore the impressive bosom which filled the screen, cowed me. That had taken me back a bit...'reporting to her'? I had noticed something in this young woman’s tone, through our chat, that led me to believe that she and I possibly had different views as to the, uh, hierarchy of this whole thing. I was the doctor around this place, and had gotten used to expecting a little respect, being top of the food chain. She, on the other hand, maybe had other ideas.

“That's right,” she said, “we’ll do these chats once a week, more if I feel like we need it. I’ll expect a report from you every day, but again don’t worry. It’s basically something you just have to sign, the girls will do it all. Our other providers will be handling most of the work with the patients in the study, entering data, keeping the FDA happy, blah blah blah. Maybe we’ll ask you to go in and talk to, examine a few of the subjects, just to keep things interesting for you.”

If I hadn’t felt totally emasculated and marginalized, my authority crippled by the horde of women who’d apparently taken over my practice recently, this was the clincher. It would appear that for this study I was going to be not much more than a coddled figurehead, a token man of straw, expected to satisfy the whims of some half-rate pharm company and this woman, at her beck and call. No way!

“I’m going to have to insist on directing care for, uh, the trial subjects,” I asserted, finally getting a moment to exert my will, “they will, technically, be my patients.”

“Oh, of course!” Gianna replied, smiling and throwing her hair over her shoulder, “Allowing for some oversight from the other providers we’ll have in place, you’ll have lots of medical-decision-making to keep yourself busy!”

What did she mean, ‘oversight’?

“They’ll be different than your usual patients, the subjects that we’ll be bringing in for the study, but I think you’ll like them,” she continued, trying to reassure me, “maybe a younger crowd, and of course all female. But in general all you’ll have to do is sit back and watch the money coming in.” She sat, looked into the screen for a moment, in thought. “Though I guess we have some people there handling that for you, too, hm?”

That gave me pause, made me rethink the litany of arguments that were beginning to boil up in my throat. I’d seen some of the paperwork, quickly, as it had moved past my desk for my signatures. It involved a lot of money for the practice. Like, a lot of money. I thought of my bills, my expenses, what I still somehow owed on my student loans. If Sheryl wasn’t going to be there to provide for me, help me pay these things…

If any of it remained, there was obviously some pride I was going to need to swallow.

“S-speaking of money,” I began, “what's my compensation going to look like?“

Something about my question, something about how I was holding myself, made Gianna smile again and then sigh, a sigh that told me she knew something I didn’t, I couldn’t help but think. With that she leaned in, her eyes locked on mine through the camera, and a shiver went up my spine. “Oh don’t worry, Dr. J,” she spoke, “you’ll be well taken care of...“

===================================

Muchos Gracias to long-time friend, supporter of the story and behind-the-scenes ninja Antares for helping me assemble these clips.

Newer posts and other goodies at my Patreon

[whimsicallyreading]

Eight Second Ride

Part Three-

(Part Two)

“So you are telling me-“ Aedion scowls from the other side of her bed, “you ditched me for a sweaty bull rider and didn’t even last an hour into the date?”

Aelin shoves a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into her mouth and sniffles. “That’s all you got from my story?”

He slings an arm over Aelin’s shoulders and she lays her head on his chest gratefully. She’d caught an Uber back to her apartment where Aedion was already camped out waiting for her.

One look at her mascara smeared face, and he’d made a pillow fort on her bed. Complete with ice cream and “Little Women” playing on his phone.

“No, I got the whole chauvinistic asshole, bit.” Aedion stabs his spoon into the container and breaks up a particularly large piece of Oreo. “I just decided to focus on the part that doesn’t make me want to leave you hear and go and kill him right now.”

“I thought cowboys were supposed to be classy.” Aelin watched Jo play with her sisters in their attic on Aedion’s tiny screen. “Take city girls into the country to ride a horse and show them a bigger purpose in life, kind of shit.”

“Hallmark is such a liar.” Aedion huffs and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Lin. I know going out tonight was a big step for you. It’s a shame he acted the way he did.”

It was rare Aelin acted on a whim these days. Not like she used to do when she was in high school. She felt a pull to go with Rowan, but her gut had led her into a situation that could have gone south very quickly.

It’s a hard thing when you can’t trust yourself.

“No. I shouldn’t have gone. Especially not alone.” Aelin’s feels her thoughts drifting. Creeping towards that iron box of memories she keeps locked tight. “It’s my mistake.”

“No.”

The fervor in Aedion’s voice draws her attention up to his face, and Aelin is jarred by the intensity of his expression. “Aedion-“

“It’s not your fault.” His voice is gravely, and his blue eyes flicker like the heart of a flame. “I don’t give a shit what that bastard thought you accepting his invitation meant. You don’t owe him sex because he buys you a drink.”

“Aedion-“ Aelin tries to interrupt again. A new wave of tears burns her eyes, but Aedion is on a roll and he isn’t going to quite down until he gets out what’s on his mind.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like an object that can be bought.” Aelin can’t look him in the eyes any longer, but a calloused hand guides her face to the crook of his neck.

“His friends are shitty. He should have made them shut up. Ogling you, and making you feel unsafe and uncomfortable aren’t funny jokes.” Aedion goes on as Aelin sniffles into his shirt.

“You deserve respect. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what he buys you, or what his expectations are. His behavior isn’t your fault.” Aedion whispers against the top of her head.

Aelin wraps the arm that isn’t squished under her, around his waist. “I love you, Brother Wolf.”

“I love you too, Fireheart.” Aedion kisses her forehead and tugs her closer, the old terms of endearment are exchanged between them with ease.

“I know you are still dealing with everything that happened a couple years ago. I’m happy to remind you how worth it you are whenever you need.”

Aedion was an island of safety in the turbulent ocean of her life. Even when Aelin was small, she’d often go to him before her own parents with her problems. He was steady, and calm. The exact opposite of her own personality.

After the incident, he hadn’t rested until she was safely at his side again. Aedion stood by her faithfully as she picked up the broken pieces of her life and held her hand as she tried to make something new from them.

“How come you already had this movie downloaded onto your phone?” Aelin teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of taste?”

Aedion purses his lips. “Lysandra said this movie is, and I quote, the most accurate depiction of the female experience.” He shakes his head. “I’ve tried to watch it three times, and I still can’t figure out what it’s even about.”

“You are a simple minded creature, cousin.” Aelin grabs her spoon and scoops a melty bite of ice cream into her mouth. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Anytime, Lin.” He leans his cheek on her head as the scene on his phone shifts from the cooler grey tones of the present, back to the warm colors that represented better days. “Anytime.”

~~~

The day started off better than she expected.

Aedion was gone when she woke up- he had to rise at an ungodly hour to make it to the fire station on time.

Yet, he set her alarm clock for her so Aelin woke up in time to get ready for work. He’d also set a glass of water and an Advil tablet on her bedside table to curb the headache she was sure to have from crying.

Aelin made it out the door with enough time to stop and get coffee on the way. She even splurged and got a chocolate hazelnut Frappuccino with enough sugar to smooth her wounded feelings.

It was going so well, Aelin should have known it was the universe winding up to screw her.

It was only a couple hours before she closed shop when Lorcan Salvaterre stepped through her front door.

“Holy shit, it’s you.” Were the first words from his mouth. His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Rowan is going to flip when I tell him I actually found you.”

“What are you doing here?” Aelin’s slammed a stack of books on the counter.

Lorcan looked pensive. “Rowan said you mentioned owning a book store-“ he drags a hand through his dark hair. “I felt like I ruined his chance with you, so I thought I maybe if I apologized-“

“Let me stop you there,” Aelin didn’t bother looking at him as she labeled books and organized them into stacks. “You didn’t ruin anything, you didn’t help, but he screwed up all by himself.”’

“He realizes that,” Lorcan quickly defends, his voice gruff with irritation. “If I can give him your number I’m sure he will grovel for himself.”

Aelin rolls her eyes and slides another stack to the end of the counter. “You don’t get it.”

“Get what?” She can tell he’s losing his patience with her. Lorcan’s remorse only went so far, apparently.

Aedion’s words from earlier rang in her ears as she repeated them back to the man. “He was overbearing the entire time. Had double standard opinions about my life, and disrespected my boundaries.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan shifted on his feet, itching to say something but obviously refraining. Measuring his words carefully he looked her dead in the eye. “Look. He was just trying to impress you. Rowan doesn’t go out often. Don’t you think you are blowing this a little out of proportion?”

Red. Aelin saw red. Tasted it. Like iron in her mouth. Or maybe that was just the blood from biting her tongue so hard. “I’m working right now. You don’t strike me as extremely literate, but I have to ask for you to either buy something or leave.”

Lorcan glowered at her. “Fine.” He turns to walk out, but Aelin hears him call her a bitch under his breath.

Just then, Elide walks inside the shop doors. A backpack slung over her shoulder, finished with her classes at Rifthold U and prepared to work the evening shift with her.

Aelin is relieved for the interruption and about to take full advantage of it, when the small, brown-haired girl catches sight of Lorcan and beams like a rutting lighthouse.

“Lorcan! I didn’t know you were coming into my work, what a surprise.”

Elide. One of her best friends, runs up to the six-two tower of misogynistic cow boys and flings her arms around him. Hugs him.

Ellie she recalls the name being thrown out last night. She hadn’t put two and two together. Ellie was a common name. Of all the people in this city it had to be Elide, Aelin mentally bemoans.

She wonders if Elide knew how her cowboy behaved when she wasn’t around.

It doesn’t matter. Lorcan is all too aware of Aelin’s eyes boring into his skin, and knows he needs to make a quick get away.

“Ellie,” Lorcan pulls away from her. “I just had to see this book shop you are always talking about.”

He kisses her head, and looks at her with feigned remorsefulness. “I must have gotten your shifts mixed up in my head, though. I’m afraid I have to go. We booked a training time for six and I need to brush down Nettie before we start.”

“Oh,” Elide says, a look of genuine disappointment on her face. “That’s fine. Are we still on for a movie tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he promises. He pecks her one more time on the lips and tips his chin towards Aelin. Anger still bubbling in his eyes. “Good day, ma’am.”

Aelin releases a breath when the doors close behind him.

“I’m so sad I missed him.” Elide frowns, tossing her back pack behind the counter. “At least you got to meet him. What did you think? He’s absolutely dreamy, right?”

Aelin chokes back a gag. “Yeah. He was really charming.”

“And get this,” Elide smiles. “He’s a cowboy. Like an actual, real life cowboy. He rides pulls and does team roping. It’s sexy.”

Aelin can’t hide the grimace this time. “You are like my baby sister. I never want to hear the words sexy from your mouth again.”

At least, never in the context of Lorcan. They’d had plenty of boy talk before.

“He even carries a rope.” Elide wags an eyebrow. “Better to tie me up when we-“

Aelin holds a book over her face. “I’m not listening to this! I will file a report with HR.”

Elide laughs. “You are the boss, Lin. You know we don’t have an HR.”

“I need to get one now,” Aelin grumbles. “I don’t need an image of yours and Lorcan’s naked asses in my head.”

She wanted Lorcan out of her head entirely. Along with Rowan and the rest of their cadre.

“Fine,” Elide sighs wistfully. “One day you will be in love and I won’t hold it against you when you want to talk about whatever babe you wind up with.”

Her eyes get a mischievous glint. “Actually- Lorcan has some really cute friends. I could set you up with?”

Aelin’s brain banks. “No. No thank you. I like being alone. I’m more than enough company for myself.”

“Come on, a double date would be fun!” Elide whines and tugs on her arm. “You never go out any more. We could have a great night out.”

An image of the twins cutting lines on the bar flash across her mind and make her shudder.

“I said no, Elide.” Aelin says a bit more harshly then she intends, but Elide gets the point and backs off.

“Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Instead of anger she looks at Aelin worriedly.

She kind of hates that more.

“Thanks.” She shakes her head and tries to clear the residual stress from her head. “I have to set up a new shelf display. Want to help?”

Elide lights back up at the prospect. She loved designing and organizing. They have a great time setting displays up together and Aelin knew it would take her mind away from the tension she’d created.

She just really hoped that Elide dating Lorcan wouldn’t drag any drama into her own life. Aelin didn’t care what half asses excuses Lorcan made, she wasn’t interested in seeing Rowan again.

Hello! I’m so glad I got this posted today. 😂 I’m hoping to get the next chapter of DRNS out tomorrow. After that, my birthday is next Tuesday and I reaaallly want to do a mass update of all my fics then as a hooray to 21. (Yes. That is what I’m doing for my 21st 🤣) Hope you enjoyed it!

Tag List- (Let me know if you would like to be removed or added!)

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[val-made-a-mistake]

❝SPECIAL TREATMENT.❞

(not my gif)

summary/request:

warnings: fluff, kidnapping, torture (reader gets punched a bit and stabbed once, but that’s really the worst of it)

word count: 3.1k

a/n: holy cow!! the words really flew out of my brain so fast i surprised/scared myself lmao. i don’t think i should’ve had that much fun writing a torture scene as i should have but here we are. anon, you deserve everything great in the world, ty, ilysm

(ps— i brought back some love in the dark characters, sorry not sorry 😁)

//////

No one ever said anything, but you were sure the secret was out from the way people gave you side-eyes at the GRC camp.

You and Karli had always been close, okay, she always came to you first whenever she was considering a big move, and you were good at keeping secrets, you thought this one would be easy to keep when you’d blearily shared your first kiss on New Year’s Day, your head ringing from the explosions you’d created to close out 2023 with a bang. But, evidently you’d gotten too frisky. Maybe it was the way Karli always made sure you were the first one in the mess hall, or the first to drink out of a bottle that became a Molotov cocktail, or the way you always seemed to get your rations first whenever Karli was in charge of distributing them. One world, one people, you believed in that firmly, and a part of you knew she wasn’t supposed to pick favorites, but still…living in a world where you couldn’t get a shower or eat everyday, you fed off her silver spoon without remorse.

“Dee-Dee,” you called, making the girl at the chess board glance up in surprise, “Where’s Karli?”

She shrugged, but her eyes seared into you— just another uncomfortable sentiment that made you think everyone knew. “I dunno. By the vans was the last time I saw her.”

You nodded and made your way into the street, narrowly dodging a soccer ball kicked by one of the kids as you went.

Dee-Dee was right, Karli was having a hurried, whispered conversation with Dovich while she strapped away boxes of stuff into the van you’d managed to steal along the Estonia-Russia border, she looked worried.

She stopped once she saw you coming, though.

“Hey,” you said cautiously, shoving your hands in your pockets and bouncing on the balls of your feet, trying to appear natural, “Everything alright?”

Karli cracked a nervous smile. “Yeah. We were just talking about how we’re gonna feed everyone during the trip.”

“Ah, yeah. Yeah. I get you.” Estonia hadn’t been kind to you so far.

She raised an eyebrow almost teasingly and pushed in a last cardboard box labelled ammunition before closing the trunk of the van. “Is everything alright with you?”

You nodded. “Uh, yeah, totally. Can’t wait to travel again, that’s all.”

Between the Flag Smashers on the cusp of finding out your relationship with Karli and the creepy text messages you’d been getting ever since you’d arrived in Eastern Europe, you were less than fine, but of course you would never tell her that.

Karli turned to Dovich. “You can leave us.”

He complied instantly.

As soon as he’d turned the corner of the alleyway leading into the GRC camp, Karli reached out and grabbed your hand. “Look, you can tell me anything, alright?”

Your lips kicked up into a sheepish smile. “What makes you think I don’t already tell you everything?”

“When you’re underground, people tend to tell you only the stuff you need to know,” she said. “But we’re different, I just wanna make sure you know that.”

You couldn’t stop grinning now. “I’m perfectly aware, thanks.”

Even though it was broad daylight, Karli reached over for a chaste kiss, and you allowed her to touch you, ignoring the happy little spiral of feeling that came whenever she did that. One of the reasons why you loved her so much was that feeling— you had to force yourself away before you got carried away.

“Alright,” said Matthew, hurrying into the street, apparently not noticing what had just happened, “We can leave by dusk if we start feeding everyone now.”

You couldn’t help but grin at him. “I’m kinda getting a craving for McDonalds, are there any around here?”

You knew the answer. In basically every country you’d been in, you could find a McDonalds.

Matthew cocked his head to the side. “I can see, let’s get a move on!”

Karli grinned at you once again and started for the camp.

//////

John Walker had morals.

Morals and strategies. That was what got you three medals of honour, the ability to keep your head on straight in a fight, pick a target, and roll with it. Sometimes you had to pick a target for leverage, it happened all of the time in Afghanistan, there was that happy medium between justice and a war crime that John liked to linger in. So why was he experiencing such a heavy mental pushback when he suggested to himself that he kidnap one of Karli’s girls?

He wouldn’t even have to hurt her. Just scare her a bit, that’s all. He had known Lemar, known that he wouldn’t have wanted to be murdered without justice— when you were a soldier, you talked about the prospect of being murdered a lot, either because you thought life couldn’t get any worse on the battlefield, or in John’s case, because you were such a good soldier it would be surprising if you didn’t have a target on your head already. Sometimes it was a little bit of both.

He just needed her location. Her location, nothing else. Loyalty tended to run short when people were put on the spot. Just scare her, that’s all.

John rubbed his temples again, sighing. Ever since the serum, it felt like he was experiencing this constant migraine. God, when he got injected with the serum, it felt like his veins were on fire, now everything had been lit on fire since Lemar’s death.

Lemar would have wanted this.

Right. Yeah, he would have. That was a good enough explanation.

He turned over to look at the Captain America shield resting on the other side of the room. Since he wasn’t able to sleep, he kept picking it up and putting it down. It felt so good in his hands— right, even. John had known that he would never truly live up to Steve Rogers since day one, which was exactly why he said he wouldn’t be the new Steve Rogers when he was interviewed by Good Morning America, but he felt like Steve would’ve been proud of him. America needed someone in charge after the Blip, someone to deal with the Flag Smashers.

If he couldn’t find Karli, one of her lieutenants was the next best thing. Yeah. This was the start of another glorious American story. They’d tell it in museums for decades.

//////

As it turns out, there had indeed been a McDonalds in Estonia, so you ordered nearly two hundred dollars worth of burgers and let dinner run a little later than expected. By the time everyone was loading themselves into inconspicuous vans, you realized too late you needed to pee, so you told Karli you were going to find a bathroom and set off.

The way everything worked out, you were a short way from the GRC camp, so you kept your hands in your pockets and your head down as you walked. You were sure Aminah had told you about a shortcut on one of these streets, you just couldn’t remember which o—

BANG!

Something heavy hit the back of your head, and the last thing you saw was your face making contact with the ground before the dark.

//////

Your head was throbbing with pain and your wrists hurt from how tightly they were bound over your head, the rope moving harshly against your skin every time you fidgeted, and whoever had taken you hostage had stuffed a wad of fabric in your mouth so you couldn’t scream.

What the hell was happening?

You blinked the room back into focus and turned your head, trying to figure out where you were. It looked like some kind of warehouse, maybe a factory, there were a bunch of dusty metal mechanisms in the corner of your eye you didn’t recognize. You weren’t even sure if you were in Estonia anymore, but it definitely wasn’t a nightmare, you could see your very real hoodie lying on the floor in front of you.

“Hey.”

You jumped just hearing the voice, and if looks could kill, John Walker would’ve been dead long ago as he strode into view and knelt down in front of you.

“Look, I only need one thing from you, and then I’ll let you go. But if you don’t cooperate with me, I’m gonna have to resort to bloodier methods I don’t wanna use.”

He gestured around the room, then reached for the fabric in your mouth. “Don’t scream.”

You glared at him but allowed the piece of fabric to come out of your mouth, and for a moment you only gasped and gasped and gasped— you hadn’t gotten a good breath of air in hours, it felt like.

In, out. In, out.

Maybe there was a way this could be resolved safely.

John cocked his head to the side, almost smiling at you. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

You met his gaze. “Go to hell.”

He chewed on his lip, and you couldn’t help but follow his gaze as he took out a thick-handled knife and dragged it absentmindedly up your arm. You were wearing a long-sleeved shirt, so it didn’t touch your bare skin, but you tensed nonetheless.

“Where is Karli Morgenthau?” he asked after a beat.

Silence.

It killed you to do it, but you put on your best confused expression and let your eyes fall onto his face again. “I’m sorry, who?”

John grabbed your face at that, you shrieked at the surprise touch.

“Where is Karli Morgenthau?”

“I don’t know!” you cried. “I swear!”

“You’re lying!”

“Why would I lie when I’m tied up?” you exclaimed exasperatedly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, just let me go.”

John brought his phone out of his pocket to show you a picture of a security cam dated 03/09/24– your face was clearly in view even though you had your hood up, you were following Karli out to the van.

It hit you like a slap to the face: this was just after Dovich had robbed that bank.

Shit.

“You could end up in prison for that,” John said matter-of-factly, like you didn’t already know.

You grimaced. “I was aware of that when I robbed the bank.”

POW!

He struck you across the face so hard you would’ve fallen to your knees had you not been tied up, and your head swung to the side.

You let out a melodramatic “ow” and spat hair out of your mouth, trying to absorb the sting as fast as possible.

“Where is Karli Morgenthau?” John repeated.

“I already told you,” you replied evenly. “I don’t know where she is.”

“Oh, so robbing the bank was just a one time thing, huh?” he replied sarcastically. “I have more photos of you two, y’know.”

He scrolled through his phone and showed you a video of Karli pushing you against an alleyway wall to kiss you— this time your blood ran cold. You’d responded enthusiastically, you remembered, had snaked your hands up to touch her face as she wedged a knee in between your legs. The video was dated 03/12/24.

“Unless, y’know, you platonically make out with wanted terrorists for the fun of it,” John put in slyly.

 You bit your lip. “Yeah, happens all the time.”

POW!

He struck you straight in the mouth this time: you shrieked with pain as the metallic taste of blood pooled on your tongue.

“Where is she?” John roared.

“I don’t know, I swear I don’t know!”

He hit you again and you choked as stars burst in your vision.

“Don’t make me do this,” he said, his voice shaking as he took out the knife again and ran it down your other arm, “I don’t wanna do this.”

It sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

“I don’t know where she is, we went our separate ways!” you yelled at him.

John looked at you, and for a second it was almost like he believed you—

—until he plunged the knife into your abdomen.

You screamed and thrashed against your binds. It was a sting unlike anything else, you couldn’t breathe—

You gasped desperately for air, trying to force it down into your lungs, but were only rewarded with a deeper burn. Because of the super serum, the knife had actually gone most of the way through, you could feel it.

“Fuck,” you panted, “Shit…fuck…”

John still hadn’t taken his grip off the knife, he looked like he could force it even deeper if he wanted. “Just tell me where she is, that’s all you have to do.”

You were losing a lot of blood now, the first wave of nausea wreaked your head as he threatened to tilt the blade upwards. It would take just one flick upwards for him to hit one of your organs— you were tied up, you couldn’t fight back— and then it might be game over for you.

“No,” you snarled, and you felt his hand tense around the knife inside of you.

“Hands off!” someone shouted.

BANG!

You barely saw Dovich before he charged at John, and then they were fighting, metallic and flesh-sounding thuds filling the air as they flew into a corner.

All of a sudden a crowd of Flag Smashers had flooded the room, everyone was yelling, and a much kinder face knelt in front of you.

“Are you alright?” Karli hissed, then she saw the knife. “Shit-“

“Medic!” she screamed over her shoulder before turning to you again. “Can you move?”

“No,” you bit out shakily, “I - I can try-“

“No, don’t,” she said hurriedly, fumbling in her pack for a knife, “Here, here, stay still—“

RIIIP!

She’d cut through the ropes, and with a grateful sting, your arms were free.

“Matthew, help me lift her,” Karli ordered, cursing senselessly under her breath as she tried to put her knife back in the pack, and Matthew dove forward to oblige.

“Where is that God forsaken medic?” she screamed over her shoulder.

You couldn’t care less, you were completely focused on Matthew helping you up now: he was clearly trying to be gentle, but rushing because of the predicament you were in.

As you started moving towards the door, you couldn’t help but look back at the scene. John had a busted lip and Dovich had a black eye, but they were still fighting, their heightened stamina clearly the only thing keeping them going.

“Go!” Karli yelled from behind you, pushing you forward, and you half-waddled, half-scurried out of there.

//////

The next few hours were a blur. You were overloaded with stolen anaesthesia as one of the Flag Smasher medics operated on you and successfully got the knife out of your abdomen, resulting in some pretty ugly neon-blue stitches down your side, and apparently the entire road trip had been paused to search for you after you hadn’t come back, so after you had been found, business resumed as usual.

This meant your reality was staring up at the ceiling of a dingy van, so in pain you were in and out of consciousness, wondering what the future would be like. There was a bright side though: when you were finally able to stay in the world of the living, you were on the Belarusian border.

There was some hold up getting into Poland for some reason, so you were staying in yet another safehouse for the night. Karli insisted on being the only person to help you in, and then, throwing all caution to the wind about subtlety, requested she stay with you.

It would be just the two of you and no one else for the entire night. You had this room to yourselves— it felt illegal, like a secret sleepover you would’ve gotten invited to in middle school had you had a normal childhood.

Yeah, you definitely saw Aminah’s raised eyebrow as she went off to find another room.

“Are you alright?” Karli asked for the millionth time as she tried to settle herself onto the uncomfortable piece of floor she was calling her bed. The room was completely devoid of furniture, so you and her had made the best of what you had: despite your protests, she’d given you all the limp pillows she could find, now you were attempting to find the best way to lie on them without disturbing your new injury.

To be fair, it only stung when you ate, slept, walked, and breathed. 

(It stung all the time.)

“I’ll be fine,” you replied. “Really, K, you don’t need to be worried. The medic said it’ll only take a few months to heal, and if I keep my mind off it, time’ll go faster. It’ll work out, I promise.”

Karli pressed her lips together. “I won’t apologize for caring about you.”

Even though your abdomen gave another hiss of pain, you poked her knee with your own in what was supposed to be a reassuring gesture. “I never said you have to.”

Karli couldn’t help but kiss you again, disastrously sweet, and she’d already gone far enough to ensure you had a room alone together, so you let her indulge in you. You indulged in her was probably the more correct term: you stayed like that for a while, on the floor, your mouths lazily roving together, her hand on your face and your hand on her leg, never daring to go any further.

“I love you,” Karli murmured against your lips. “You’re stupidly brave, you know that?”

“I went through all that for you,” you quipped dryly, and kissed her deeper this time.

“I’m gonna make sure Walker never hurts you again,” she breathed back, and even though you were sure she meant it, you also didn’t know if she really knew what she was saying when you were both neck-deep in this glorious feeling, so you said nothing. You sat up on your elbows and dared to move your hand up her leg— then you winced.

Karli felt it too, and her eyes flew open, she stopped kissing you. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you tried to say, but the injury had started stinging again, you bit your lip to keep from wincing more.

“Take this,” she replied, and shifted a pillow that had somehow ended up on her side to cushion your injury.

You opened your mouth to protest once again, but Karli shushed you. “I won’t apologize for caring about you.”

You tried to smile up at her. “It’s gonna be a long night.”

Her lips were already on yours again. “I know how to speed it up.”

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (16)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 4,5,K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness

Notes: It’s Paris’ Pov and the next one will be Hyunjin’s Pov. I just thought it was good to point it out. Songs mentioned: “Both Of You- Steven Universe” and “Count on Me - Bruno Mars”

Updates: Tuesdays

                                                       ////

   PARIS’ POV

    Holy. Bloody. Cow.

    Honestly? Although you enjoyed teasing Y/N about her suspicious relationship status with Hyunjin, you would never ever ─ even in a thousand million years ─ imagine that he would just pin her against a wall and kiss her in front of everybody. And by everybody, you meant you and Han, because nobody else seemed to give a... Thought about that. Okay, you found kinda odd the fact that they kept trading that book without a real reason… Even so! Wouldn’t Y/N have told you about it?

    There was no way they were together.

    She just denied everything a couple of minutes ago! She would never lie straight to your face like that. You knew it. Then again… The way her hands were pressing against his chest instead of pushing him away immediately kinda told a lot about the situation.

  On a normal day, you probably would have said something ─ maybe take a picture to send Chan so you could tease the hell out of them ─ but right now you couldn’t bring yourself to do any of this. The intimacy of the situation made you embarrassed to keep looking at them, prompting you to avert your eyes. Maybe it was destiny, but out of everything you could meet, Han’s deeply hurt eyes were the first thing you came across with, which made your stomach drop.

  He was devasted.

  You didn’t need to think twice to turn your back to Y/N and Hyunjin ─ who would still hear a lot about it at some point ─ and go after Han that was already rushing away from the scene. You hopped some steps, trying to get closer to him as fast as you could but it wasn’t a coincidence that Han was an athlete and you were a musician.

    “Han!” You yelled loud enough for him to hear but he didn’t turn around. He should thank God for loving him to the point of letting him ignore you exactly at the time you hadn’t your guitar in your hands. You really needed to buy a new one anyway… “The baby is yours!” You screamed, and this time he turned around.

    “What are you doing?!” He hissed, wide eyes darting around to see if anyone bought your bluff.

  “Getting your bloody attention!” You spat while trying to ease your breathing, finally reaching him.

  So what now?

  As you stared at him ─ letting an awkward silence set between you two ─, you couldn’t help but think about what Hyunjin said. Han wasn’t there to talk to Y/N because of you… It was because of her. You tried not to let this affect you more than necessary but it was too late. Did he really need someone to convince him to go to your performance? Didn’t all those years mean anything for him? Was he talking to you for all those years just because of Y/N?

  You clenched your jaw.

  “So that’s it? You’re going to ignore me now that you were rejected?” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest “We spent years hanging around, eating together, going to each other’s games and performances… And now you’re going to throw all of this out of the window?” You inquired, frowning as you studied his features.

  “That’s not really what I’m trying to do…” He muttered under his breath, clearly embarrassed of his actions. You huffed in disbelief, shaking your head before looking straight into his eyes.

  “Honestly, Han?” You sighed “I really believed you liked me… I thought we were good friends, you know?” You shrugged, lowering your gaze “Now I look back and… What was it that we had between us? Was I only a way for you to get to her? Am I really your friend? Do you even consider me as someone you’d like to have around?” You felt your heart tightening inside your chest, making your breathing heavy.

  “No! Of course, I like you, Paris!” He rushed to say, hands shooting to your shoulders to give a reassuring squeeze “I just can’t find it inside me to go there and—“ You snorted, grimacing as you pushed his hands away from you.

  “You can’t find it inside you?” You snickered “Good Lord… You’re so selfish!” He gasped, surprised to see you upset like this “How would you feel if Y/N didn’t find it inside her to go to each one of your games?! How would you feel if she dropped you just like you were nothing?! How would you feel if she avoided you like the plague?!” You shouted, gesturing around mindlessly to get the anger out of you.

  “That’s different…” He tried to reason.

  “But it is not!” You interrupted him, high-pitched as you tried to hold back your tears “I love you, Han!” You wailed, face twisting in a crying frown “I love you, and even if I knew that you loved her, I was right there at your side at all times!” You said rather accusatorily, finger going to poke his chest “Say it! Tell me one damn time I wasn’t right there by your side! Tell me!” You demanded, tears flowing freely on your face.

    He opened his mouth but not a sound came out of it.

    “You can’t, right?!” You snorted, wiping your tears away “I was always there for you… I always found it inside me to go there and see how you looked at her with sparkling eyes instead of looking at me!” You grabbed his collar, though the grip was too loose to be even called a grip “And now you tell me that you can’t handle one rejection and go to my performance? One that you know how much it means to me?” You asked, narrowing your eyes at him.

  “Paris… I had no idea” He mumbled, eyes wavering to look at you.

  “It shouldn’t matter anyway… Are you going to go now because you pity me?” You scorned “You should go because you want to keep me with you, Han! Even though you had your problems with Y/N, I should still be your friend!” You let him go, hand going to press your eye “At least you could have come to talk to me… You could have said you wouldn’t be coming… You could have done something, you know? Anything. If you really cared about us”

  “I swear to God I didn’t have my mind in the right place, Paris” He took your hand in his, and you tried to ignore the fluttering that spread in your chest “I was too busy with all the stuff that is going on… I had to talk to my father, and I can’t really quit the team out of now—“

  “Wait- What?!” You gawked at him “You're going to quit the volleyball team?” You asked, taken aback by the revelation.

  “Didn’t Y/N tell you?” He asked surprised “I mean… I told her so I kinda assumed she would –“ You scoffed, poking your cheek with your tongue as you shook your hands to get away from his hold.

  “She wasn’t the one supposed to tell me about your life, though” You sighed “See? That’s what I’m talking about… You have classes with me, Han” You reminded him, looking at him as if you had no more expectations inside you “Couldn’t you tell me this? Is there anything else you expected her to tell me instead of actually looking for me to talk?” You sneered.

  “Well…” He let out a heavy sigh, looking at you uncertain “To tell you the truth, Paris… I’m kinda lost right now” He admitted, throwing you off for a second at the seriousness in his words “I never ever thought about actually getting out of the team, to be honest… I talked to Y/N and I realized a few things that made me want to try and pursue my own dreams instead of living to make other people happy”

  You didn’t notice it before but Han looked awful right now.

  He had messy hair that wasn’t really styled to look like this, and you figured he probably was getting less sleep than usual. The dark circles under his eyes were enough to confirm your suspicions. He seemed more tired as well, not only a lack of sleep thing but his shoulders were dropped and his eyes seemed to be filtering a lot of thoughts at once, narrowed and stern.

  “I want to be a musician” He paused, looking for your reaction but you couldn’t do anything else besides gasp in surprise “Yeah… I know it’s kinda unexpected if you consider I’m an athlete and all that…” He sighed once more, and you could swear that there was a shadow darkening his eyes “But that’s what I really love, and that’s what I want to do” He tried to offer you a small smile but failed, lips twisting in a weird grimace.

  “This is huge, Han” You admitted, reaching for his shoulder to give him some reassurance “I bet you have a lot to think about too…” You muttered, embarrassed at the number of things you just threw on his face out of nowhere.

  “Yeah… I mean, I told Y/N I was going to quit the team and I had already made my decision but…” He snorted “The truth is that I’m not really sure of what I should do, you know? I mean… I’ll pursue this dream. That’s what I want to do. But what about everything else?” You nodded, pursing your lips as you slid your hand through his arm to hold his hand.

  “It will take more time but you’ll eventually get there” You promised “You took some classes with me already, so you have some of those… I guess you’ll have to bear till the end of the semester to quit the team, right? But apart from that…” You tried to comfort him but he scoffed, shrugging.

  “Apart from that, I have an entirely uncertain future... I don’t know if it’ll go alright… I’m literally leaving behind an offer to play on a great team to pursue some silly dream and –“ You squeezed his hand, taking his other one into yours.

  “It’s not silly, Han… Isn’t that what you love?” You asked, trying to look into his eyes but he lowered his gaze “We’ll be here for you… You can take as many years as you need, if this means you’re going to be happy in the end, that’s what really matters” You placed your hand on his face, guiding him to look at you.

    “I wasn’t just avoiding you guys… I had to talk with my dad about a lot of stuff… Also, my mom is quite disappointed with my decision… I’m trying to put Minho in contact with the team that would hire me… I’m trying to get over my feelings for Y/N… I’m trying to figure out my whole future…” His voice faltered for a bit, and you shushed him, caressing his cheek before pulling him into a hug.

   “I get it… You’ve been through a lot” You mumbled, rubbing his back to soothe him “I just wished you had talked to us… We thought you were just wary because of the rejection…” You admitted, and he chuckled, hugging you back and resting his head on your shoulder.

  “Well… I mean, you’re not wrong” He laughed “I’m kinda embarrassed to talk to both of you… I mean- Well, it’s not exactly easy to act normal when you have been rejected” He pointed out, and you chortled at that, nodding.

  “Yeah, I know” You joked, and he seemed to realize that you had said you loved him not too long ago. He snapped away from your arms, straightening his back and clearing his throat as he glanced at you.

  “Sorry… I mean… I really like you bu—“ You laughed, waving your hand dismissively.

  “I’ve known for a long time that you don’t like me back” You reassured him “You don’t need to reject me or try to stay away from me” You rolled your eyes as you put your hands on your hips “Don’t make it one more thing to think about when you have so much going on” You arched your brow in a silent warning.

  “Sorry…” He smiled sheepishly at you, ducking his head into his shoulders.

  “That’s okay, I guess…” You sighed “I mean- I’m not happy about it but what can I do? Love is about sacrifice… I’ll have other performances in the future” You shrugged, though you couldn’t lie to yourself… You were hurt. You would have done it for him “I’d talk it through with Y/N, though… She’s really in the dark there and I won’t be your messenger” You warned him.

  “I know… I’ll try to talk to her and maybe… Maybe I can try to drop by?” He suggested unsurely.

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep” You forced a small smile, patting his shoulder before parting ways.

                                                         ////

  You should have asked him to come after all.

  You were the next ─ and finally the last ─ presentation for the night, and you couldn’t help but walk around with your guitar in your hands, playing some random notes in hopes to get calmer. The anxiety was creeping into your head little by little, and you couldn’t count how many times you had already tried to peek behind the curtains to see if they have already arrived. What if Han didn’t show up after all?

  Of course, you understood his situation now… He was overwhelmed by everything happening in his life at once, and you couldn’t really blame him if he didn’t show up. Or could you? No! You shouldn’t blame him! You had already learned your lesson with Y/N… You shouldn’t expect people to act like you… It was wrong.

  But missing your performance after all this time wasn’t really right either!

  Push away that thought! You ordered to yourself.

  It shouldn’t matter if he was going to be there or not… What was the difference? Would he play the song for you? So what you had changed the song to fit both of your stupid friends that couldn’t handle love like grown-ups?! It wasn’t their fault…

  Don’t push your standards on them! You reminded yourself.

  Love is about sacrifice!

  Sacrifice is about doing what is better for everyone else!

  Love is about sacrifice!

  If he showed up then it would be good! If he didn’t show up then it would be good too! He wasn’t in love with you. He wasn’t going to sacrifice for you. He didn’t have anything to do with the fact that you kept torturing yourself over and over again. He wasn’t in love with you. There was no need for him to prove anything. You can’t order people around. You should live your own life.

    What if he showed up just to talk to Y/N?

  Yeah… You could kinda let it go if he didn’t come at all but what if he came just to talk to her? What if he didn’t really care about you after all? That wasn’t the point… You had to be happy for them. If he came and talked it through with her and everything turned out to be okay… Then that was it. So what he didn’t do it for you? At least he did it for someone…

    That’s right.

    You loved both of them and they should be happy.

    If you love someone, you should behave properly, Paris… You reminded yourself, just like your mother told you for so many nights. You had to control your feelings and your urges and get to this stage and nail it. Han or no Han. You should act as if none of this really mattered to you.

    You did it before… It shouldn’t be too hard to do it tonight.

    The round of applause burst into your senses, getting you away from your thoughts for a moment and making you realize that the previous performance had already ended. You were the next one. You took a deep breath, hands shaking and sweating as you tried to hold onto your guitar firmly, making your way to the stage as soon as your name was announced.

    The lights blinded you for a second but you kept walking as if it was nothing, hearing the polite claps people offered you as you entered the stage. The creaking wood replaced the clapping soon enough, and as the silence settled all around the place, you sat on the woody stool, searching for your friends and family. Someone coughed quietly, breaking the silence once more, and you forced a smile for the audience.

    You spotted your mother and stepfather, as expected.

    You spotted Hyunjin and Y/N sitting side by side, as expected.

    You spotted the empty seat on Y/N’s side…

    As expected.

    You strummed the guitar, focusing your gaze on the strings before lifting your head to stare at the audience. The moment was partially broken by someone storming inside the place, making you snap your eyes at them even if you didn’t stop the song. The big foam glove caught your attention immediately, the “#1” prompting you to bit your lips to hold back your laughter.

    You watched as Han made his way ─ trying to be as discrete as possible but failing it greatly ─ to Y/N’s side, sitting down and raising his hand shyly for you to see. You smirked, lowering your gaze to the guitar to recompose yourself. The last thing you wanted was to laugh in the middle of the song and blew up your chances.

    “Why don’t you talk to each other?” You sang, lifting your head with a smile “Why don’t you talk to each other? Just give it a try” You roamed your eyes all around, confidence slowly making its way to your brain “Why don’t you talk about what happened?” You darted your eyes to Y/N and Han, staring at them as you sang the verse “I know you’re trying to avoid it but I don’t know why…”

   You caught the way they glanced at each other, shifting in their seats.

    “You might not believe it…” You strummed the strings, closing your eyes for a second “You might not believe it… But you got a lot in common… You really do” You offered them a small smile as you opened your eyes “You both love me and I love both of you” The chanting made you emotional for a second, but you tried your best not to choke.

   You watched as both of them looked at each other, eyes softening as they met one another. Y/N seemed to find amusing the glove he brought, glancing at it before chuckling, hand sliding to rest on top of Han’s. He seemed uncomfortable and yet relieved by the contact, ducking his head into his shoulders as he smiled at her, holding her hand before returning his gaze to you and shaking the glove.

    “I know you both need it… I know you both need it” You glanced at Hyunjin, smiling at him, happy to see Han and Y/N on a truce “Someone who knows what you’re going through…” You sang, noticing how his eyes seemed to harden for a second, fixing on their hands with a glint of something… A little bit off “You might not believe it…” Hyunjin raised his gaze to Y/N, watching her with longing eyes that almost made you gasp “You might not believe it… But you got a lot in common… You really do”

    You stared at him in wonder as he hesitated to take her hand.

    “You both love me and I love both of you…” He chickened out, placing his hand on his lap as he averted his eyes, looking into yours “You both love me and I love both… Of you” You finished, watching as he blushed under your gaze, clearly aware of his slip-up.

    There was no way in hell he didn’t like her…

                                                    ////

    Hyunjin was eavesdropping on their conversation.

    You shook your head in amusement as you got closer to him, studying his antics. You placed your hand on his shoulder, smiling as he yelped, snapping his head at you in a startled motion. He grimaced, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to trick you but ready to try it anyway.

  “I’m waiting for them to finish their talk…” He shrugged as if he didn’t care at all, and you hummed, nodding in acknowledgment.

    “Yeah… And you had to do it here where you could hear everything they’re saying” You pointed out, a knowing smile adorning your features. He sighed, looking at you unimpressed before scowling, mocking the way you talked.

   “Shh! They’re going to hear you” He nagged, hand going to cup your mouth as you laughed at his face “I was curious, okay?” You took his hand away from your mouth, snorting at his uneasiness.

    “Were you also curious to know how it felt to kiss her earlier?” You taunted, knowing far too well that the kiss was fake by now ─ as Y/N explained to you already ─ but enjoying seeing him flustered nevertheless.

   “I didn’t really kiss her… I had my thumb over her mouth…” He muttered, and you grinned at him as you nudged his side.

   “And I’m quite sure that you regret it by now” You mocked, watching as his face set aflame. You couldn’t believe that Hyunjin ─ the greatest fuckboy of all times ─ was blushing right in front of your eyes for the mere mention of a kiss “She totally swept you off of your feet” You mused, getting a scoff from him.

  “Will it make any difference if I tell you that I’m not into her?” He asked warily, and you shook your head “Whatever… Just keep your mouth shut as I did for you to Han” He asked you, glancing at you unsurely.

   “I can’t believe my ship is finally sailing!” You chirped, squeaking as you clasped your hands together.

   “You ship her with literally any male around” He pointed out.

   “That’s not true! I just shipped her with you and Chan!” You defended yourself, pouting. He threw a look, arching his brow in wonder before peeking at Han and Y/N. You followed his gaze, watching as Han positioned your guitar on his lap “How is it going? Did they make up?” You asked mindlessly.

   “They didn’t talk much…” He admitted, tilting his head “We talked for a while before Han decided to talk to her in private… We were wondering about that man who came to talk to you” He explained, “Was he really a producer?” He asked curiously, averting his eyes from them to look at you.

    “Oh! Yeah… Yeah, he was” You beamed at him “I got a record” He gasped, brows shooting up in pure bliss before he hugged you tight, laughing. You chuckled as you returned the hug, satisfied by the outcome of the night. You were hoping for it but you couldn’t be sure that someone would actually want you to record something.

    You were pretty proud of yourself, you wouldn’t going to lie.

   “This is awesome, Paris!” He chirped, holding your shoulders to take a better look at you “You did it!” He beamed “Oh my God… This is incredible!” You snorted, nudging him.

   “Shouldn’t we be silent so they won’t catch on us?” You reminded him, and he shrugged his shoulders, waving his hands dismissively.

   “Who cares?! This night is about you!” He pointed out “You got a record!” He giggled, and you laughed at his reaction. It was kinda cute the way he was beaming at something you conquered “What about your family?! Did you tell your mom?” He asked excitedly.

   “Yes! She’s really proud!” You giggled “We’re going to do something together tomorrow… After she saw Han hugging me… Well, she didn’t want to meddle” You felt your face burning, and this time Hyunjin smiled teasingly.

   “So cute” He cooed, and you pushed him lightly.

  “If I were you, I wouldn’t keep teasing –“

  “If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea…I'll sail the world to find you” Han began to sang, playing the song on the guitar “If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see… I'll be the light to guide you” You saw him smiling at her, receiving a small smile back “We'll find out what we're made of… When we are called to help our friends in need…” You noticed how he stressed the word friends, trying to reassure her that he was going to get through his feelings somehow.

    You smiled fondly at the scene, watching him strumming the instrument and recalling the way he held you in his arms, squeezing you and engulfing your body in his warmth. He had slammed his body onto yours, twirling both of you once before burying his face in your shoulder, congratulating you over and over again.

  Even if he had come to talk to her, he was also there for you…

  “You can count on me like one, two, three! I'll be there… And I know when I need it, I can count on you like four, three, two! And you'll be there…” He widened his smile, looking directly at her “'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh, yeah…” She giggled as he playfully howled to the next part, laughing.

   “Are you okay with this?” Hyunjin asked you stiffly, making you chuckle.

  “Yeah” You nodded “Why? Are you jealous?” You teased, and he scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “As if” He huffed but you noticed how he had that uneasy expression all over his face “This is so cheesy… I can’t believe she likes serenades and things like this” He grimaced, and you couldn’t help but laugh at him, placing your hand on his shoulder and giving him a reassuring squeeze.

  “You’re being bitter” You chuckled “Stop being creepy and let’s sit somewhere else and let them talk in peace… If you want to impress her like him, try and do a song for her” You rolled your eyes “Don’t pretend to be cool when you were literally blushing when I said you wanted to kiss her” You teased.

    “I’m not being bitter” He whined “If anything, I’m being too hot for this” He joked, and you chortled as both of you made your way to the closest bench.

    “Nice joke” You arched your brow to him, smirking “But if you keep being too hot for this, you may get burned” You warned, and his playful grin dissolved into a frown “She’s a good catch, and if I were you, I’d be more attentive… Maybe you should ask Chan for some advice…” You suggested, and Hyunjin seemed to think about it.

    The setting had been made…

    … Now you would have to convince Chan to play along with it.    

                                                       ////

Tagging List: This time I’m trying a new way to make my tag list. If you guys want to join, you don’t even need to ask/interact [my fellow shy beans], just click in this and DON’T INTERACT WITH THE POST, just “FOLLOW” it [Turn on the notifications for this post]. I’m not sure yet it’ll work but let’s see!

[krysphycookiez]

Heyo hun can i request a NCT 127 scenario please? 🥺 where the foreigner fem!reader is the same age as haechan and they're both gemini's (reader late may - haechan early june) and they're a lot a like to the point where they're known as the nct twins. johnny is basically their dad. lmaoo.

(ps. reader doesn't refer the boy as hyungs.)

if you don't feel like it that's fine hun. 🥺❤

nct 127 | gemini twins

synopsis: you’re the same age as donghyuck and both of you are very similar, to the point you both are known as the ‘twins of nct’ amongst the group

genre: fluff, platonic, slight humor, one-shot

pairing: nct x foreign!fem!reader

tw: none except for a bit of swearing

a/n: hi sweet pea! thanks for requesting, i really appreciate it <3 this one in particular was a little specific so i apologize if there’s some parts i missed! with that i hope you enjoy!

btw, anything in italics and bold is in english :)

❤︎

“do you think johnny hyung will kill us if we do this??”

“last time we did, he almost cremated us into paste. let’s do it,”

“hell yeah,”

you and the little sunshine himself, lee donghyuck, we’re currently hovering over your tired leader’s sleeping expression, while setting up alarm clocks around him strategically.

both of you guys were known as “the twins of nct”, with the two of you being gemini’s and similar in personality, that name was bound to come around. the slightly younger male next to you snickered as he set up the alarm clocks, and fleeing along with you once it was all set up.

once the two of you got into a safe position, you looked at the timer on your phone, and the alarm clocks were going to set off in 5 minutes. sure you got an earful from doyoung and mark cussed you out in english, but it was worth seeing their funny reactions.

the tan-skinned male pulled out a small tablet and turned on the screen, and what appeared on the screen was camera viewings of each member’s rooms, all of them sleeping soundly, unknowing of the danger that awaits them.

both of you snickering quietly to yourselves, you both sat on the couch, awaiting the amazing reactions that was gonna come from your fellow bandmates, but you both were unknowing on the figure standing behind you.

“what are the two of you doing?” johnny, one of the older members asked you suspiciously, making you both freeze up and turn around nervously. “o-oppa! uh— well we were just- y’know—“

“AHHH WHAT IS THAT SOUND—“

your statement was quickly interrupted when you heard the familiar voice of your fellow member jungwoo. both you and the soft-faced male both turned over to the screen with excited smiles, while johnny tried to peer over your shoulders to see what you two were looking at.

“what did the two of you do this time?” he questioned, as if you guys were some sort of criminals. “just gave them a nice good morning greeting~” the sunshine maknae said cheekily while he was watching his members catastrophe in the cameras.

despite the fear and terror that ran through your bodies when entering the member’s rooms, it was so worth the risk. jaehyun was trying to calm down a screaming jungwoo, your leader knocked over various things on his nightstand which hit mark on his toes, but the cherry on top was yuta desperately trying to turn off the alarms with his sleeping mask still on, running into taeil on the way as well.

you and the devilish maknae exploded with euphoria, you could feel tears of joy pricking at the corners of your eyes while donghyuck was hunched over his seat laughing out loud. johnny just sighed, growing tired of your guy’s antics, but he could feel the small smile teasing the corners of his lips.

after the whole fiasco went down, all of the members went downstairs and you laughed even more at their tired and sleepy faces. they looked angry, but you knew deep down that they actually didn’t have the energy to be mad at you.

the first one to speak up was none other than taeyong himself. “did you brats start this whole thing?” he questioned in a somewhat intimidating tone, but his tough facade soon fell after he saw the both of you laugh even more, making his face light up a bit.

in between huffed pants, a familiar cute voice answered. “y-yes, hyung! it was us!” donghyuck replied, still trying to catch his breaths while you were already gone on the couch. “why did you guys do that!? i was just sleeping after staying up last night!” mark yelped out in a distressed voice, automatically switching to english, so you assumed the statement was directed towards you. “s-sorry mark! we just wanted to prank you guys a bit..” You said still recovering from your laughter, which can be seen through your stuttery tone. you were born and raised in a country that spoke english, so you obviously knew how to speak it.

before the other members could counter, a voice of reason spoke up. “alright guys let’s just get ready for the day, at least y/n and donghyuck are ready for training,” johnny said as-a-matter-of-factly, leaving the other members dumbfounded.

“hyung but they—“

“did i stutter?”

“ON IT—“

ఌ

“hey give me the strawberry mochi,”

“no i’m not, donghyuck.”

“why not???”

“because i’m older than you,”

“yeah by like only two weeks,”

“still,”

“both of you just shut up and eat your food,” doyoung said a bit irritated by your guy’s bickering, making the two of you chuckle cheekily as you went back to eating your food. you and the boys just finished rehearsing your newest comeback, superhuman. it was a nice change of pace for a song, given that it was very positive and energetic.

“hey y/n— aren’t you gonna visit the dreamies with haechan soon?” johnny asked you, while you were munching on your delicious cold snack. you swallowed the food and replied. “yeah we will, right after lunch actually,”

“the two of you are lucky, i can’t see them any time soon,” mark said sulkily, making you chuckle. “must suck to suck, mark,” “shut up.” mark said while playfully punching you in the shoulder, which resulted in you punching him back. your little banter was soon interrupted when a familiar voice ringed in your ears.

“ay what’s up twins of nct!?”

“eyyyy jaemiiiiin!!”

you and sunny hyuck got up excitedly to be met with the two members of nct dream, na jaemin and huang renjun. you all did a signature handshake you came up with and laughed while the 127 brothers watched you guys with happy smiles. “how have you guys been?” the chinese boy asked curiously while donghyuck waved him off. “pssh! we are fiiine~ mark was being annoying as always,”

“i’m right here!”

“i know~”

the flirt of the dreamies just chuckled and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to him, much to your surprise. “well let’s go! chenle and jisung planned some awesome things back at the dorm, and jeno is cooking some good food too!” jaemin exclaimed, but his smile disappeared when he heard the familiar sound of someone clearing their throat and putting their hand on his shoulder.

“and will you kiddos cause any trouble? i don’t want managers to come and cause some more chaos while you guys are away.” taeyong asked sternly to the younger male, causing him to gulp the lump in his throat. “w-well hyung- we were gonna just play games and stuff...” he said nervously while you silently snickered at him. you knew taeyong just didn’t want anything bad happening to you, considering that jaemin made a particularly inappropriate joke that quite literally almost landed him in the wrath of mom taeyong.

“are you sure about that, jaemin?”

“yes i’m sure!”

“don’t worry about it taeyong, they won’t do anything.” johnny said while approaching the duo, making jaemin sigh in relief. taeyong just sighed and let go of jaemin’s shoulder. “alright, but if you brats do anything i’m gonna—“ “taeyong.”

the leader slightly froze at johnny’s words and didn’t say anything further. but when johnny walked away, he turned back to renjun and jaemin and said seriously, but cutely. “i’m watching you.” in english before walking out of the room.

all four of you stood there confused for a moment before letting out joyous laughs. all of you were hunched over trying to catch your breaths while jaemin wiped a tear from his eye. “holy cow hyung is scary! i thought i was gonna die!”

“mhm, i don’t blame ya. however he does have a point, if you do anything to y/n i swear on yo fuckin yEEZY’S—“

“hyuck, not the time.” you said sternly at the slightly younger gemini, making him smile cheekily. this overprotective brother side of his really was something. “fine fiiine~ but still, i see you, jaemin.”

“alright alright i won’t do anything!”

“come on guys let’s just go, we don’t wanna keep the others waiting.” renjun said excitedly while running off, making the three of you trail behind him in pure joy, ready for the fun that’s about to start.

❤︎

ANNND DONE! thanks for the request again! this one was really fun to write for, sorry if i did miss anything though i promise i didn’t mean it qwq

this is @/krysphycookiez logging off... ♡︎

[mcbenson25]

Birthday (Carisi X Reader)

Summary:  Another busy day in New York except that today is not just any normal day...

--------------------------------

Traffic in New York is a pain.

Everyone knew this and yet people still thought they could be on time during rush hour. Of course, that was a lie. Walking wasn't a very good idea either but it was better than traffic. With walking, you could only hope no one would run you over as you crossed the street.

Today was one of those days you had slept in. In any other normal city, you could easily rush to work with no obstacles. But it wasn't a normal city and there were obstacles. Welcome to New York.

"Great I'm going to be late. There is no way I can nake it on time," you thought as you tried to dress presentful without looking like someone who rolled out of bed. When you were satisfied with how you looked you grabbed your keys and left your apartment to work. As you walked outside your phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Morning Y/n," a cheerful voice answered.

You couldn't help but smile at the voice that belonged to Detective Carisi. It was no secret that you had an enormous crush on him. That is to anyone but him. The both of you were very close friends but you felt something more towards him. You were afraid to tell him because you weren't sure he felt the same way about you.

"Morning Carisi," you responded back with a smile.

"So Lui is wondering where you are 'cause we thought you were coming with us this morning for coffee."

Right. You were going to get coffee with them today.

"Oh um can you tell Liv I'm running a little late?" you asked him.

"Sure. Don't worry about it," Carisi told you.

"Okay, thanks. See you later."

"Bye."

After you hung up you yet again, debated on taking a taxi or walking. Traffic still didn't look friendly enough to be in a taxi so you walked.

On your way to the station, you decided to stop for coffee since you were not going to be able to catch up with the rest of the squad for coffee. As you ordered you spotted Barba sitting at a table with coffee. He glanced up and saw you and you approached him.

"Hey weren't you supposed to go out for coffee with them?" he asked you.

"Yeah I woke up a little late so I couldn't," you explained to him, pausing before saying, "Weren't you supposed to go too?"

"I couldn't because I had an errand to run this morning," he said simply before taking a drink of coffee.

"That's weird. Barba never misses coffee with us. Plus what errand did he have to get done so early in the morning? You thought to yourself. Probably some court stuff before work. You glanced at your watch realizing you needed to start heading towards the station if you wanted to get there at a decent time.

"Well I'll see you later then," you said to him getting ready to leave but as you turned around he grabbed your wrist.

"Actually Liv just texted me that there's a problem at the courthouse and she wants you to come with me," he said.

Confused you checked your phone to see if she had texted you but the screen was blank.

"Well she didn't-," you were cut off by Barba who grabbed your arm and said, "Come on we have to go."

"Okay Mr. Grabby I heard you, chillax with the grip," you said to him as you tried to pull out.

He chuckled as he let you go, "Just making sure your coming". As you both walked out you could have sworn that in the distance you saw Carisi with a huge red bundle walking towards the coffee shop but quickly dismissed it when Barba engaged you in conversation. ------------------------------------------------------ "Picking up some papers? That was the big emergency?" you asked frustrated as Barba received the papers he had requested.

"Not just any papers. They are case papers," he said.

"That you could have literally picked up by yourself."

"Well it wasn't my call it was-," he was cut off by the ring of his phone.

"Thank God you finally called I can't stand her any longer," he said pretending to be annoyed," Okay we're on our way".

"What's up?" you asked.

"We have to go to the station. There's a little surprise waiting for you."

------------------------------------------------------ "This better is worth all this running around," you say as you both walk into the station.

"SURPRISE!" the squad exclaims as they throw confetti at you which causes you to jump.

"Holy cow. You all scared me," you say as you clutch your chest recovering from the scare it gave you.

"We didn't mean to scare you!" Liv said as she pulled you into a hug.

"What is this all about?" you asked as Olivia let you out of her embrace, confused as to why they had planned this for you.

She looked at you confused. "Isn't it your birthday today?"

You were quiet for a moment as it dawned on you. You had been so busy lately you had completely forgotten about your own birthday.

"I forgot about my own birthday," you said quietly.

"That's what we're here for," Amanda said hitting your arm lightly, "to keep you on track and make sure you don't marry your job."

"That's so sweet of you guys. Thank you so much," you said happily.

Someone behind you cleared their throat making you turn around.

Standing there was Carisi holding a huge bunch of red roses.

"Happy Birthday to the most brilliant, beautiful woman ever," he said as he handed you the roses.

"Thank you so much," you said as you felt your cheeks heat up.

He smiled before saying, "I have one more present for you," he said as he enlaced his hand with yours, "Y/n I have had the honor of being with you for so long but I have felt something I have never felt before and the truth is that I love you more than anything in the word and I would love for you to be my girlfriend."

You stood there shocked not being able to believe what had just happened.

"You know, I think he's waiting for an answer," Barba said to you.

You glared at him before turning back to Carisi and saying, "Yes I would love that!"

He smiled as he pulled you into a hug as whispered so only you could hear, "I love you."

You pulled him for a kiss. This was by far the best birthday present ever.