#day 2 of colors are you sick of them yet

[justpoliteconversations]

Apple Merchant [BOTW!Link x Isekai!Reader] (Part 1)

In which Isekai!Reader becomes a merchant, and unintentionally Link's benefactor.

Even more self-indulgent trash. The usual.

PART: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

Alternate Extras: Embrace

Masterlist

TW: Nothing worth mentioning.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise.

---

Being transported into a video game was not as dramatic as the media had led you to believe. For one, there was no bright, all encompassing light nor the feeling of a thousand worlds ripping themselves asunder. Instead, you had taken one step out of your door and crossed the threshold into an endless field of tall grass.

Panic should have taken hold by that point, but it didn't. You'd later learn it was just postponed by the shock of it all. At the time though, you'd simply taken stock of the situation, scanned the horizon for civilization and started in on the first plumes of smoke you found in the distance.

You'd been lucky. So incredibly lucky it had been a village that you'd landed near and not something more sinister. That you had decided against going near the waterfall or towards the forested area where a clear path was etched into the hillside.

You hadn't known that yet though. Instead, you'd taken the most direct route and hiked up the steep grassy slope heading towards the plumes.

Near the top you'd taken a short break beside an apple tree, admiring the perfect shape of the fruit hidden throughout it's low hanging branches. How large they were, and how brightly colored.

You'd taken one, struggling to pull it from it's stem. You were surprised by just how heavy it was when it finally did give way; more akin to holding a watermelon than an apple and as large as a grapefruit.

It was strange, but you figured it was just a variety of apple you were not familiar with, or perhaps you were heading towards a farm that was working on a new type of apple for the market.

You decided to save this one for later, in case the place you were heading didn't have resturants or take card payments. The surrounding land looked pretty rural, so you wouldn't be all that surprised if they didn't.

As soon as you'd thought it though, the apple disappeared. No light or sound or anything to indicate the unnatural occurrence, just popped out of existence.

It should have startled you, and it did, but you didn't panic. Not yet. That would come later. Right then, it was almost like you were dreaming.

In the top left corner of your vision a flicker of red came into existence. A simple line of words ended in an explanation point that pinged at your subconscious.

[New Item!]

And you'd thought, 'What a strange dream.'

---

Four years later, and you knew this was most certainly not a dream. The panic had passed, the initial pain of loss and separation had eased. The confusion of a new language and culture had settled into smooth integration.

The easy acceptance of the Hateno people helped a great deal with that.

Honestly, it helped that the population was as small as it was. While some cultures would shun outsiders upon contact, the scarcity of new blood had made your arrival quite the welcome event. Even if you were a human.

Perhaps even because you were a human. It was hard to tell sometimes. Your round ears were equal parts admired and awkwardly avoided in polite conversation.

You tried not to think about it too much.

The bottom line was that you had been transmigrated into Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Your head now contained the equivalent of the Sheikah slate and the differences in product quality here and your world was, to put it frankly, wacked. The metabolism and durability of the region's residents was even more so.

The apple you had picked up the first day had lasted you two days. Each bite was equivalent to eating two apples. Eating a whole apple was enough to make you sick. You'd watched a hyrulian child munch down three of them with no issues, and then ask for dinner.

Your conclusion; Magic. Hyrule was very similar to your own world, but the addition of magic had fundamentally altered the biological makeup of it's inhabitants.

It wasn't a difficult conclusion to come to. Hell, one of the farmers had even given you a brief rundown on the magic quality in the soil once, explaining the emergence of Hearty foodstuffs. It was an eye opener for sure, though a welcome one.

However, things got complicated in your case. The addition of gamer like attributes seemed to alter the world around you to an alarming degree. Nothing too noticeable thankfully, but still noteworthy.

Things you picked or put in your inventory had a way of coming back within a few days. This, you'd learned, was not the norm. A harvested field stayed harvested until it was replanted. A picked apple stayed gone until a new one grew from another bud.

Things did not just reappear after enough time away from them. Hyrule did not have that type of magic, though it would seem you did. Which, honestly, was fine by you. It helped you make a living at the beginning.

Food, you found, was a precious commodity. The game made it seem easily accessible, but in reality it was a hit or miss depending on the season. Late spring through early fall was bountiful, but the rest of the year was downright miserable.

People here lived on what could be grown locally. When things stopped growing, people started struggling.

Not to say most residents starved, but the cost of a bale of wheat went up drastically in the winter. Nevermind the cost of fresh fruit, meat or anything not pickled or preserved.

The game never showed this side to Hyrule. The part where these magical people with their high metabolisms suffered during the lean winter months. How they worked and saved all year just to break even through the cold season.

Winter might have been the time of hardship, but it was your golden goose. It was how you made a living, how you came out ahead.

Anything stored within your mindslate stayed perfectly preserved, untouched by time nor the effects of decomposition. And added to your unusual effect on the world, it allowed you to amass a literal shit ton of resources.

At first you'd make daily trips around the village gathering enough materials to ensure a place at the inn every night. Anything would do. Wheat, crickets, apples, the occasional fish, even fairies.

(Strange that one, how your mindslate just stored living beings like that. They were the one thing you didn't mess with. Just let them sit in there, as far from your mind as possible.)

You cut grass with your rusty sword, hacked down small trees with your equally cheap and rusted ax, roamed the nearby woods for mushrooms, beetles or lizards. Occasionally, you'd even find a more unusual item. Like a sword or shield just laying in the grass.

You'd try not to think of how it got there.

You gathered resources for a living, and the shop owners came to know you as the Apple Merchant. It was sweet actually, and it seemed to endear you to some of the residents.

Perhaps they appreciated that you were trying to make a life for yourself among them, not just begging for handouts. Or maybe it was pity for the foreign human who didn't know hyrulian common well. Hard to tell.

When winter came that first year, is when you realized the full breath of your situational advantage.

One year. That's all it took. One year to become one of the wealthiest people in the village.

And they didn't even realize it.

A bundle of carrots purchased cheaply during the height of harvest season sold for five times that amount in the winter. A bundle of wheat, nearly seven. And meat was something else entirely. Rare enough during the warm season, it became worth its weight in gold the moment winter set in and creatures ventured to warmer regions.

Winter was a literal Godsent.

And the next winter was even more profitable. Now armed with the foresight of experience, you planned your life around it. Bought overflow harvest in bulk, bought out traveling merchant's wares without a second glance.

You prepared, and you thrived. Your bare threat clothes became wool, your worn shoes became comfortable soft leather. You bought a horse, then three, a wagon. Hired guard detail.

Became a merchant. The Apple Merchant; written in clear hyrulian script across your wagon.

By the third year, you were in Lurelin, Kakariko, and every stable and small settlement in the southern reaches of Hyrule. Damn near made it to Gerudo too, before the logistics of such a trip set you back.

You made it though, on your forth year. Reaped the benefits of being a well stocked merchant in an inhospitable place like Gerudo desert. Never made it to Gerudo town though, but the outlier villages more than made up for that.

Life was good. It was profitable. You could even say you were happy.

Then it happened in the early spring of the fifth year. The Shiekah towers rose.

It was nothing that should have concerned you. Link had finally awoken from his 100 year slumber as he was meant to, and his story would continue on without you. Your paths would probably never cross. You were just one of the thousand's of merchants making a living all across Hyrule.

You were nobody in the grand scheme of things. You were someone completely removed from the big picture.

Until you weren't.

And it started with a missing apple.

---

Now I return to the shadows to rest.

[petertingle-yipyip]

STRANGER - KAZ BREKKER

//tags: @beekeepingageissome // an: i really hope i can pull this off. i anticipate this being 2-3 parts. right now, we’re set before the Ice Court. also i’m picturing danielle rose russell as the character. lmk if we want this as an OC or reader// next part

Pairing: kaz x rollins!reader (enemies to lovers) [no Y/N used yet]

Word Count: 5,892

Summary: Her father’s action led to the death of her only two childhood friends, Kaz and Jordie Rietveld. Only Kaz returned as the infamous Dirtyhands. Creating her own gang in the shadows, she considers allying with the Bastard of the Barrel, only it goes about as well as anything could with Brekker.

It all seemed so far away, the first time you had met Kaz and his brother. Years ago that seemed to be another life. And maybe it was. You had left your father not long after that. When you heard that Jordie and Kaz - or at least two boys that fit their descriptions and matched your sketches - were picked up during the Queen Lady’s Plague collections, your stomach had pitched.

You were only a child, the same age as Kaz give or take a few months, and his brother seemed a good boy. They ate dinner with your family, played with you and your dog. You and Kaz had come up with games late into the night until Jordie took him home.

And then suddenly, you and your family were out of the house. You didn’t understand but you didn’t question it. You never saw the boys again but it was easy enough to hear of who had died of the sickness and who hadn’t. And it didn’t take long to find out how.

Your father used an alias and rolled the boys for their money. They had nowhere to go except the streets and it killed them.

Well, one of them.

Kaz had managed to pull through, but the boy that came back wasn’t the boy you knew. He had changed and you weren’t sure if you had expected him to be the same. When you left your father, you had seen him around the Barrel. You considered talking to him but the unbridled anger in his eyes kept you at bay. Instead, you decided to bide your time. Build your own empire. And in time, you would offer Kaz a deal and take down your father together.

Leaving Jordie and Kaz to die killed not only one of the Rietveld brothers, but it killed you as well. You existed only in stories to him. Pekka Rollins’ only daughter, fled home as a young teen, building up a gang of her own.

You changed your hair, colored it a midnight shade of red, and cut bangs. You kept the rest braided and pinned. You wore a hooded cloak when you went out during the day. You never spoke your name in public. But you did help yourself to your father’s money.

Your money, technically, since it was placed into an account in your name. You withdrew from it once a month, never letting the balance fall beneath the initial. It filled the coffer of your growing gang, choosing a snake as your branding. Your father had Dime Lions. Kaz had the Dregs. You had your snakes, though a fitting name never came to you.

You were on your way to attempt a meeting with the Dregs’ Heartrender, Nina Zenik. She held occupancy at the White Rose, and she was not an easy woman to schedule with. Nor was she cheap. You were leaving the bank, your latest withdrawal under your cloak, when you saw him.

You’d seen him in passing over the years, heard all the stories of what he’d become. Dirtyhands Kaz Brekker. The Bastard of the Barrel. Some said he was a demon. Some called him a monster, a wretched boy with only bones for fingers. He was Death, the Reaper who sent his Wraith without remorse.

You had to remind yourself to breath when a hand clasped your shoulder.

You spun quickly and a hand went to the small knife in the sheath sewn to the inside of the collar.

“Boss has been looking for you.” A familiar voice said. You didn’t know his name, but the voice was one from your childhood. You didn’t miss the lion tattooed on his forearm. “He’ll be happy to see who’s been taking his money.”

You narrowed your eyes but remained quiet. You yanked your knife free and sliced the forearm of the hand touching you, cutting right through the Lion. Decapitating it. You would’ve stayed and admired your handiwork had you not been on a mission.

So you ran.

You worked through the busy crowd until you somehow ended up at Kaz’s side.

“I need your help.” You stepped in front of him. You hadn’t even realized it was him until you stood face to face.

You couldn’t have picked anyone else?

“You’ve come to the wrong person.” He shook his head.

“It’s one of Pekka Rollins’ men.” You tried urgently. “They’re looking for his daughter.”

That got his attention but he tried not to show it. It flashed across his face for a split second, a momentary sliver of the young boy you knew.

“Isn’t she dead?” He said flatly, as if it was a fact. “I sure hope so.”

“She’s not.” You said sharply and dared a glanced behind him. Your father’s goon was making his way through the crowd a few feet away. “But I’m guessing you’ll kill her if you get the chance.”

“In front of her father, yes. Maybe slice her open from her sternum and watch her heart stop beating.” He nodded, tapping the beak of his crow against the base of your throat, then paused to study your face. Your heart sped up and under your cloak, the grip on your knife grew tighter in an effort to not bat his cane away. It was already stained with the blood of your pursuer, and you weren’t above adding Kaz’s if he recognized you, but you were praying that Sankta Alina would help you avoid it. Never one for religion, but her story had always stuck with you. “What do you know about her?”

You lifted your chin slightly. “Why should I tell you anything?”

He leaned down slightly and you reflexively stepped back. “You came to me, remember? Unless you’d like me to leave you here for your friend back there.”

You sneered slightly before answering. “She’s alive, in the Barrel. She’s been building her own gang, using her father’s money for it.”

Kaz’s head cocked in interest.

“He has an account open for her and puts money in every week. She empties it every month or so.”

“A fool’s errand.”

“Excuse me?”

“Leaves a paper trail, on both sides… Why is she still here?”

“Why do you think? She wants to get rid of her father.”

“Why?”

You checked again and the Dime Lion was closing in. You shifted on your feet and Kaz took a step to the side, turning himself slightly to block you from view. You dropped your head and blocked your face with your hand as the man passed, hoping the scene looked like a blushing girl hiding her embarrassment. You sighed with relief and almost thanked Kaz.

He didn’t do it for you. You’re useful to him now is all.

“How do you know this?” Kaz asked after watching the Dime Lion for a few more seconds.

You replaced your knife and unbuttoned your cloak to pull your collar and show the snake tattoo winding across your shoulder. You fixed your clothing back to position and Kaz studied you silently.

“I’m sure we’ll meet again soon, Brekker.” You nodded.

He stood dumbfounded as you continued on. It took only a moment before the shock wore off. Kaz watched you go, his confusion burning to anger. He was mad that you had so much information yet gave so little. He was mad that you knew him, yet he knew nothing about you.

But what infuriated him most was that you were vaguely familiar. That he felt some old reminder of who he used to be, when he was just a boy with his brother. He also thought of Jordie with a shudder. He hated that you had some memory connected to his brother and he swore that he would get his answers, even if he had to cut them out of you.

When you were finally able to get in with Nina, it was a relief. She went into what seemed like a rehearsed spiel while you undid your cloak and draped it across your lap as you sat. You reached into your boot and pulled out the specific pile that was intended for her. You dropped it on the table and it silenced her.

“I didn’t come for the Heartrender, Ms. Zenik. I need the Dreg.” You began calmly. 

“The Dregs?” She tugged her sleeve uncomfortably. “What is this, a test from Brekker?”

“Not at all. I just ask that you deliver a few things to Kaz.”

“A delivery?” She laughed. “Drop it in the Post like every other lovesick girl that thinks they can fix him and move on, Dear.”

“He has a fan club?” Your brow quirked. You knew it was a joke but you wouldn’t be surprised if there was some group of girls that were fawning over Kaz. He was very pretty after all. “This isn’t a declaration of love or a marriage proposal. More of a… heads-up.”

“If this is a threat-“ Her hand raised and quickly lifted your own in defeat.

“I’d rather try my luck against his Wraith than face you.” You admitted. “I’d like you to hear me out, Nina. Please, you can turn me away and keep the money after. I’m sure every cent helps towards your Fjerdan project.”

Hesitantly, she lowered her hand 

You flipped your cloak and withdrew the small envelope from the main pocket. You held it out to her and waited until she opened it before you spoke.

“All I ask is that you get these to Brekker. He’ll know what they mean.” You said calmly, though your heart was racing. You wondered if she could tell.

“Drawings?” She looked up from the papers to you.

“She’s quite proud of those.” You smiled slightly.

It was a small collection of portrait sketches. A few of Kaz as a kid, one of Jordie and Kaz, and a few of Kaz in recent times.

“There should be something else.” You nodded and she shook the ring out of the envelope.

“Hmm, are you sure this isn’t a proposal?” She joked.

She examined it carefully, turning it at different angles and holding it close to her face. She slipped it on her own finger - it was so small, it barely fit her pinky -  and your jaw tightened.

“Who is this she you mentioned?” She asked, looking back to you.

“He’ll know.”

“I could just keep this ring, you know. It’s quite adorable.”

“You could.” You agreed. “But that’s a risk she was aware of. Truthfully, I didn’t think you’d care much for a child’s keepsake ring. Besides, it was either you or the sharpshooter, and I’m sure Jesper Fahey would’ve found some parlor that’d give him a line of credit for it.”

“It’s Grisha made, isn’t it?”

You rubbed the fabric of your cloak between your fingers. That had cost you quite a pretty penny. “Yes.”

“Must be a very well off child.”

“She was.”

“Merchant’s daughter?”

“Not quite.”

She quickly grew tired of your avoidant answers. “So what happens if Kaz gets all this?”

“He can do what he wishes with the papers. Those are only a part of a collection that needs to be downsized regardless, but the ring is what’s important… She’ll come for it when she’s ready.”

“She plans on waltzing up to Kaz and demanding the ring?”

“No.” You smiled. “She’ll simply take it back, almost like a placeholder.”

“She’s mad if she thinks she can rob Kaz Brekker” Nina laughed, and you had to admit the sound was rather infectious. “But I’d love to see her try.”

“Can I trust you with this, Ms. Zenik?”

She mulled it over and had to tighten your hands into fists around the fabric of your cloak when you saw your ring was still on her finger. You knew you couldn’t take it back. Not only because it was part of your plan, but because she’d stop your heart as soon as you stood.

“I will, but only because I'd like to see how this’ll play out.” She nodded. “But what about the Wraith?”

You stood and fastened your cloak into place over your shoulders.

“He’ll send her for you and whoever sent these.” She warned.

“Trust. She expects as much.” You added over your shoulder as you left the room.

It took a few days but the unmistakable feeling of being watched from the shadows seized you as you were returning to your small dwelling. You ducked down a different alley, weaving your way through crowded passageways until you finally got to an empty, secluded area. Bold to lure the Wraith deeper into darkness, but you couldn’t risk anyone else hearing your words.

“I’m surprised he waited so long.” You said flatly and lowered your hood. To anyone else, you were talking to yourself. But soon after, her dark clad figure came from the shadows and you faced her bravely. “Hello, Wraith.”

She held up her hand and your ring tumbled out, tied around a string attached to her wrist. You stared at the small piece of jewelry for a moment and the chain around your neck you usually kept it on felt too light. You missed the light weight against your chest, the way it would bounce off your bones when you ran or trained.

“Ah.” You forced a smile. “I see Nina made good on our deal. I should thank her.”

“What business do you have with Kaz?” She finally spoke and her voice was level, void of any sort of emotional cue. You had to give it to Kaz. He trained his Dregs well.

“What business does he have with Pekka Rollins?” You countered. You knew it all, every minute detail, but you wondered what he had told her.

“Nina said that you work for someone else.” She changed the subject, wanting control of the interrogation. “An unnamed girl with Grisha connections.”

“Hmm.” You shrugged. “What did Brekker tell you when he sent you after me?”

“That you work for Pekka Rollins’ daughter.”

You tilted your head side to side in thought. “I suppose, in a way they’re both correct.” You conceded and flicked your cloak over your shoulder. You watched her hand fly to the knives at her ribs and you smiled innocently. You shifted your shirt collar and tilted your head away, waiting for her to see your tattoo. She squinted into the darkness but her hand slowly fell away. “I’d like to live long enough for the reunion, Inej.”

Her eyes went wide and she took a step back. You fixed your cloak over your shoulder and held out your empty palms.

“Yes, I know quite a bit about Brekker’s favorite Crows.” You said simply, keeping all malice out of your words. “Nina Zenik, the Heartrender at the White Rose with a Fjerdan friend out at Hellgate. Jesper Fahey, remarkable Zemeni sharpshooter with a tendency to wring out his coffers across the Barrel. You, Inej Ghafa, formerly Tante Heleen’s Lynx turned ghost story, utilizing those Suli acrobatics. Then there’s the Fjerdan himself that Brekker keeps tabs on, and the new one, the young demo expert.”

Wylan Van Eck - though he had an alias of his own - but you didn’t dare to say that. You wondered if Wylan would recognize you, but you had only seen him in passing years ago. You weren’t sure he knew that much about the Barrel in general. But given the fact that Kaz didn’t recognize you, you doubted Wylan would when you thought about it.

“How long have you been watching us?” She asked, squaring her shoulders and tucking the ring away. You were sad to see it go.

“Off and on.” You shrugged. “Truthfully, I just needed to establish a pattern before I could get that to him… He did get it, didn’t he?”

Her head cocked and you knew she heard something in your voice. Hope, or desperation maybe, and you cursed yourself for it.

“No.” She said smugly. “Nina delivered it to me.”

“Then I assume you have the same motives as she did, interest in what’s happening here.” You realized. “Tell me, Wraith. Has Kaz ordered my death yet, or am I still a target?”

“I believe the word he used was investment.”

“Investment… You know you won’t get anything from me. You’ll go and report back to Kaz with how much I know. If you two haven’t already, you’ll go over the ‘paper trail’ of her account and see it’s been tapped out, which’ll only serve as proof to what I’ve said so far. I’ll wander the Barrel, wasting nights at a gambling table while I bat my lashes to use someone else’s money or I’ll sample the menageries to pass the time. You or Brekker will get restless and pause your pursuit. And when none of you are looking, I’ll go back and you won’t see me again unless I want you to.”

You recognized a flash of silver and realized she drew a knife. You hadn’t even seen her hand move but you hid your shock by lifting your chin defiantly. You would not yield, not cower from Inej. You folded your hands in front of you, under your cloak so you could reach your pistol.

“I don’t want a fight, Inej.” You said honestly.

“I don’t intend there to be much of one.” She countered smoothly and the blade shifted in her hand. “I come as a warning. Keep her snakes away from us.” She said, adding extra venom into your gang’s patron.

“Us?” You instigated. “You bear no Dreg tattoo, Wraith. How can I be sure you’re truly aligned with them?”

“Doubt be again and find out.”

“We don’t want a war.” You reasoned.

“It doesn’t matter what you want. You and your shadow boss will not back the Dregs into a corner. Brekker won’t he-“

“I don’t fear Kaz Brekker.” You said firmly.

“Then you’re more of a fool than he thinks.” She snapped. She glanced around as if someone was listening, but no one in Ketterdam dared to watch the confrontations in the alleys. “Pride will be your downfall before he makes a move.”

“He wants to dismantle everything Pekka Rollins has.” You reasoned. You weren’t why you wanted so badly to convince Inej that you weren’t Kaz’s enemy, but when you thought about it, you knew he’d see you that way regardless. You worked for Pekka Rollins’ daughter. Actually, you were Rollins’ daughter. You’d be dead the second he found out. “She wants her father’s empire to burn as well. Why fight?”

“Do not come to the Dregs again, snake.”

“Is that a threat?” Your brows raised.

She smiled and her hand was a blur as the knife flew at you. You barely hid behind your cloak in time. You felt the blunt force of the knife against your cheek, thanking the Saints, before the blade clattered to the floor. You peaked out and another came, skating across the back of your hand. You yelped and clutched the wound to your chest.

Before you could react, she was on you. She had you by your cloak and slammed you against the nearest wall. You felt the distinct tip of a blade under your chin and you were quick to pull your own. You pressed it against her abdomen, grabbing her other arm to keep her close. You ignored the burn of the cut and righted your grip.

“The thing with snakes-“ You began and smiled. “We can wait. Bide our time until conditions fit us. We won’t back the Dregs into a corner, but you won’t flush us out either.”

Her eyes darted between yours as she tried to read your expression. Or maybe she wanted to remember your features. Either way, you acted. You slammed your head forward and collided with hers. She stumbled back and her blade fell away. You flicked your cloak to add to her disorientation before you kicked at her chest to knock her down.

Then you ran. 

It took a few more days before you saw either of them again. You had seen a Healer in that time, someone who wouldn’t give their name or let you look directly at them. Why they were in hiding you didn’t know or ask. They repaired your hand and that was all you needed.

You were wandering the streets when you saw her silhouette in the alley you passed. Moments later, she was on the rooftops above you, following. You dared a glance but as soon as your eyes turned that way, she disappeared. You knew she wanted you to follow so you sighed to yourself, checked that no one else was looking - of course they weren’t - and ducked down the alley.

You went as deep as you dared but there was no one else, only the faint tap of a cane behind you. You nodded slightly and put your hands up in surrender. You flipped down your hood and turned, facing Kaz straight on.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” You began innocently, though you added a bit of roughness to your voice. If Kaz was going to recognize you, you weren’t going to make it easy for him.

A soft thud of landing behind you but you kept your focus forward.

“Will you come quietly?” Kaz spoke simply, as if it was obvious you were beaten. You quirked a brow and considered how the fight would go if you chose it. One of them you could take, but winning against both of them wasn’t likely.

“You say that like there’s a choice.” You sighed. “I know when I’m out-gunned, Dirtyhands.”

You slipped your fingers under the opposite sleeve and slid the hidden retractable blade strapped to your wrist out. You tossed the cuff to Kaz and he caught it with the crow’s beak of his cane. While he examined the small device, you held your pistol to Inej, who took it without a word. You tapped the toe of one boot on the ground, then the other, and felt the blade shifting against your leg. Glancing up, Kaz didn’t seem to notice the movement but the gentle kick to shin told you Inej did. With a huff, you pulled it out and handed it over. All you were left with was the small blade at the sheath under your cloak’s collar, but you wouldn’t give that up.

Only an idiot gets taken hostage by the two most lethal Dregs unarmed.

“Nice to see you again, Wraith.” You said teasingly. “Although this isn’t much of a fair fight, is it?”

You put your hands up again and offered Kaz a sarcastic expression. He was stone faced as usual, though he nodded to Inej over your shoulder. Your brows furrowed and as you turned, the side of your head was slammed into the nearest wall.

You woke up tied to a chair in an office/bedroom with an empty chair across from you, Kaz’s cane resting against the seat. Your head was pounding and you could feel your pulse beating in the new wound, growing as the room came into better focus. Your cloak was thrown across the desk, your wrists tied tightly to the back of the chair with scratchy ropes, your ankles were tied a lot looser. You shifted in the chair to test the integrity and wondered how hard you’d have to fall for it to break.

“About time.” He complained from somewhere behind you.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do your usual hostages regain consciousness sooner?” You spat back, craning your neck to find him. “Should’ve brought your Heartrender if you were that impatient.”

Kaz was making it very hard to try for an alliance with him. At that moment, you wanted to kick his pretty teeth in.

“You’re not worth that much trouble.” He waved you off and you saw the infamous black gloves.

“Enough trouble for you to come and get me. What made that decision for you? Was it when Inej couldn’t do it herself?”

“Are you certain she wanted to?”

“Could’ve fooled me, but according to her, I’m a fool anyways.” You shrugged as best you could. “What's with the gloves?”

His leather-clad hands tightened into fists and he looked down at them for a moment, contemplating. You wondered what was going through his head, but you’d never know. His expression was as blank as ever and you cursed his self-control.

“You didn't wear them before.” You continued. “When you were a boy.”

“You know quite a lot, Dear.” He said simply and made his way in front of you. He moved his cane and sat, stretching his legs in front of him.

“Been around a while.”

“Who are you?” He leaned in a bit in interest. You were something new, something potentially dangerous, and he wanted to learn everything he could about you.

“A stranger that knows so much about you, Kaz Rietveld.”

His eyes narrowed and shifted the cane between his hands. You eyed it carefully, knowing the dangers that object held especially in Kaz’s hands. It could break bones, numb limbs, slice through skin. You’d be lucky if he didn’t use it on you, but the daunting silhouette of the crow’s head didn’t stop you from talking.

“You and Jordie… Her drawings are the spitting ima-“

The sharp beak of his crow topper sliced down your cheekbone and cut your words short. Your head snapped to the side and you cried out slightly, fresh blood slowly dripping down your cheek. You stared back at him angrily, new and sudden rage burning in your stomach as he stood over you.

“You don’t get to say that name.” He said viciously. The rage in his eyes made you worry he’d kill you there. “What did she tell you?”

“You can beat me all you like.” You said firmly. “I won’t break.”

“Then you’ll die.”

He pulled a knife and you shifted in your seat, pushing back as far as you could. One of his covered hands landed on your shoulder while the other pressed the blade to your throat. Your eyes darted in a panic and you noticed the silver chain around his neck.

“The ring.” You breathed and the knife froze. “You have the ring. You know she’s out there.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that.” He pulled the blade, causing you to wince, and you felt a thin stream of blood from your neck. He took up his cane with the other hand and tapped it against the floor, punctuating his words.  “I do, however, doubt you’re as steadfast as you claim.”

“It doesn’t matter.” You shook your head. “I’ll die before I give up anything on my snakes. You think I don’t know what you do to people you don’t like? I’ve heard all the stories, Dirtyhands.” You laughed. “I wouldn’t risk their lives just to save myself.”

The cold crow’s head came under your chin and forced your attention to him.

“Your snakes?” His head cocked and your eyes went wide with panic for a moment. Leave it to Kaz to pick up on your one rhetoric mistake.

“I serve as her lieutenant. The snakes are as much mine as hers.” You covered, but he didn’t seem convinced as you jerked your head away. “Are the Dregs not as much yours as they are Haskell’s?”

“The Dregs follow me.” He said firmly, an air of leadership and confidence around him. If you didn’t have a gang already, you would’ve asked him to take you in as well. “This will go one of two ways. You answer my questions and you can burrow back into whatever hole you and Rollins’ pathetic daughter are hiding in with minimal injury.”

You spat at his feet. He swung the cane at your ribs. You wheezed as the air left one of your lungs.

“Or I can flay you piece by piece until you’re unrecognizable, covered in tears and your own blood, and I still get what I need.”

“You’ll get nothing from me.” You rasped and shook your head.

“Or…” He trailed off, wagging his finger as if a new idea came to him. “I can simply keep you here, wait until she finally shows herself and then drag her kicking and screaming to her father’s doorstep.”

“And do what?” You dared to ask, though you had a feeling you knew the answer. “He won’t care. He gave up on her years ago.”

“If that were true, he wouldn’t have an account for her.” Kaz shook his head. “Yes, I looked into it and, as I mentioned, the paper trail was easy enough to pick up. But I must admit, the trail to you was quite the dead-end. Well done.”

“He’ll laugh in your face if you bring her to him.” You continued, but the air you breathed left the faint taste of blood in your mouth. “She ran out on him. You think he’d want to see her again?”

“Oh, I think he’s still hoping she’ll come home.”

The wicked look in his eyes told you all you needed.

“To protect his secrets, maybe. She knows every trick he has.”

“Secrets die with those who keep them.” Kaz mused as if it was his saying. “And the only ones worth keeping aren’t worth a life.”

“Oh, Saints.” You complained with your head dropped against the back of the chair, eyes cast upward. “You know no one is going to come for me, don’t you?”

Silence. Just the threatening tap of his cane on the floor.

“Her and I agreed that if either of us get caught by you or her father, we wouldn’t go looking for the other. It’s a good way to get us both killed so we sacrifice the other if push comes to shove.” You looked back at him. “And you’ve shoved.”

“No one is coming?” He asked. The question seemed innocent enough but the menacing way he spun his knife in his hand proved otherwise.

“Our secret dies with the other.”

“Meaning no one will hear your screams? You’ll cry out and plead. but no one will come… I almost feel sorry for you.”

“Hang on.” You tried and he pressed the knife to your collarbone, a few inches to the side of your snake tattoo. “I-“

“Giving in already?” He taunted.

You needed something to get the knife off of you, something to distract him. He didn’t seem all that interested in anything about your alleged leader. Maybe he knew all he needed about you on that front. Was there something you could ask him instead?

“She feels guilty.” You confessed suddenly. “About you. About Jordie.”

You flinched at the look he gave you.

“I don’t know who he is!” You lied quickly.

You hated that all your control, all your pose and power, fell away while you were strapped to the chair. You were helpless, at the mercy of the Bastard of the Barrel, the most notorious and merciless person in Ketterdam. Maybe you were out of your league.

“I’ve only heard the name… She says her father took everything and she wishes there was something she could’ve done. She wants to make things right.”

“Make things right?” He asked lowly before a rough, disbelieving chuckles left his lips. “Can she suddenly raise the dead? No, you see, she was a child. Just as I was. But breaking her in front of her father, taking the one thing he yearns for, now that just might ‘make things right’.”

“What happened to you?” You said desperately. “What changed?”

“The boy that girl told you about is dead.” Kaz explained carefully, as if saying those words took more effort than anything he’d ever done. “Kaz Rietveld is dead.”

“She doesn’t believe that.”

“What’s that old saying? Like calls to like? Believing that makes her more of a fool than you are… Where is she?”

“She’s in the Barrel.” You confessed carefully. The knife hit the ground but before you could feel any relief. a heavy fist connected with your jaw. Blood filled your mouth and you knew you but your tongue, hard.

“Tell me something I don’t already know.” He said, his voice holding a dangerous edge.

“No.” You managed through gritted teeth. “What will you do, hunt her? You’ll never find her.”

“What makes you think you haven’t led us to her already?”

Your mind raced. Had he or Inej seen you go to your most recent safe house? It was possible that he had been trailing you longer than you thought, but if that was the case, he’d know that there was no girl in the shadows leading the snakes. It was you.

It was a bluff.

“So string her up instead of me.” You sneered and shifted your feet, just able to brace your toes against the floor. “I tried to be civilized here, Brekker. But you know what I’ve learned?”

“Enlighten me.”

“You’re just a man. And all men can fall.”

His brows furrowed slightly and you threw yourself backwards. The chair hit the ground and broke with a loud crack. You got to your knees and were fiddling with the ropes that bound your wrists to the fragments of the chair when you had to drop to your back, the heavy crow’s head swinging past where you head would’ve been. You yelped and rolled to the side as it crashed into the floor in a high arc.

Finally, you freed your hands. However, the crow’s head landed against your same side again and the impact had you falling to your face. You coughed roughly and the ragged breathing and shooting pain had you fearing that your rib was broken.

With a whine, you climbed to a kneel.

Your eyes darted to your cloak before surveying for an escape route. You could go for the door but it was obvious and you knew the place would likely be crawling with Dregs. You weren’t getting out that way. Your only other option seemed to be the window.

You got to your feet and charged. You threw punches at Kaz, hardly any of them connecting. You growled slightly in annoyance at his ability to block your hits so you threw your elbow instead, smacking it to the side of his jaw. You followed it with a hard hook then a few body shots. You wanted to end it so you threw a hard kick for his head but he caught it.

He tilted his head in disappointment and you saw the blossoming red marks across his features. You watched his elbow lift, on a path to the side of your knee, and you reacted. You jumped and threw the other foot. It connected with his jaw and you both fell to the floor. You cried loudly and you landed on the rib.

You forced yourself up, ignored the dangerously threatening pain as you stood straight, and dashed for your cloak. Beneath it was the rest of your weaponry. You collected it in a hurry and climbed through the window.

“We’ll meet again, Kaz.” You warned, crouching in the windowsill. He had rolled to his back and you saw the cut your kick broke near his eyebrow. “Come for me before that, I’ll burn the Dregs to the ground.”

Then you were gone.

[platrom]

Infinity.

CHAPTER 2.

JJK x READER (Kenjaku x Reader)

SUMMARY: In every universe, Ryomen Sukuna will find you, whether it is by chance or not. But only time can tell if you awake to discover your doomed fate.

WARNINGS: maids are treated poorly, mentions of bad healthcare, reader has no education, mentions of traditional society view on women, Kenjaku exists and seems kinda manipulative, reader isn’t listening to herself, Aguri kind of pressures reader, societal imbalance, kenjaku looks like someone we all know and love 🤭

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

TAGLIST (slashed means could not be tagged): @xhoneymoonx134 @ofcqdesi @sad-darksoul @qeabiiaa @moonierxh @twinklingbeautifulstars @skypperlegacy

—taglist is open! if you would like to be added, please comment. :)

i. accismus

You’ve never been inside the infirmary of the castle. Low level maids like yourself were usually sent to the dungeon nurse to receive treatment if sick.

Yet, for the first time in your life, you lay in one of the nicest rooms you have ever stepped foot in. The floor is a sterile white, but in the center of each tile is an irregular sprinkling of glistening crystals that. The four walls around you appear to be covered in some kind of film— the lining is a deep burgundy with imprints of a rosier red slicing through the edges. Thick, ivory colored columns line each side of the room, each one carved in to retain a different design of florals and swirls.

The bed you currently lay on is the nicest of all. The size is of it is twice your height and length, and the softest sheets you have ever felt are beneath your feet. A warm and heavy blanket is placed on top of you, swaddling you like a baby.

And arguably, one of the most handsome men you have ever seen is in watching you from across the room.

He smiles, watching as your eyes flit across his face. His eyes are slender slits with irises of a deep, shady blue. His lips curve at the top into a gentle bow, and the corners align perfectly straight with each other. His nose is symmetrical and straight, and his hair is slicked back into a small bun, with a few strands sweeping over the side of his face.

Are those bangs? They look a little weird— but they add to his charm, I suppose.

“I haven’t seen you here before,” he steps forward, walking with his hands clasped behind his back. His attire is similar to Uraume’s— simple robes and a belt, but the color of it is black.

It brings out the specks of amethyst in his eyes.

You push yourself up, wincing as you lower your head into a polite bow. No matter the injury, you must maintain your behavior. “I work in the dungeons, sir.”

He falls into the chair beside you, cocking his head to the side. “I would have never guessed. You’re far too pretty to be a maid.”

You look up, and the handsome stranger simply grins wider.

He extends out his hand. “Kenjaku. That’s my name.”

You hesitate before allowing your hand to meet his. His fingers curl around your palm, bringing it to his face to leave a gentle kiss. You grip the sheets under the cover, trying to keep your hand from twitching in his grasp.

This is new.

“I’m (Name),” you slip your hand out of his, shoving them under the sheets. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

He chuckles at your meekness. “The pleasure is all mine, (Name).” Kenjaku leans forward, resting his arm beside yours. The close proximity makes you shy in on yourself, shifting away.

You had never been close to a man— it was forbidden in the estate. All your duty has ever been was to serve Lord Sukuna and his estate— romance, intimacy, and pleasure had never been permitted.

The trainers of the castle always said such greedy thoughts spoiled a person, and no ignorant, selfish individual would survive a day here. Selflessness was policy.

It nearly feels taboo to even be near Kenjaku— especially of a man of caliber like him. He must be an important figure to be in the infirmary a lot.

“(Name)!” a worried Aguri bursts in, sprinting over to your side, nearly toppling over Kenjaku in the process. She jumps onto your torso, squeezing you to death. “I heard what happened in the garden and I had to beg Uraume to let me see you, and-”

You put your hand over her mouth, muffling her words. You grin at her concern, but fear that her words will get you both in trouble with Kenjaku.

Rules are not meant to be broken in the Sukuna estate. Neither of you should be here. Especially Aguri.

But if Uraume permitted it, where are they? They would not have left Aguri come here herself.

A silent figure walks to the front of your bed, and you are greeted by the blank eyes of Uraume. They nod their head. “I hope you are well, (Name). I heard what happened at the ceremony.”

They turn to Kenjaku, nodding. “Hello, Kenjaku.”

He tilts his head before wiggling his fingers at Uraume. “Hello, Frozen Star.”

Their eyes twitch. Aguri purses her lips against your hand to hide a snicker at the interaction. You fight a smile, too.

“Insufferable as always,” they scoff before turning to you. Their eyes are a dark pink— nearly the color of a wild orchid—with long eyelashes that curl in a way you’ve heard the maids gossip over in jealousy.

Their face is small and sharp— it’s fitting. Stern and quiet— those are the qualities that make Lord Sukuna’s most loyal subordinate, the Frozen Star themself.

“I would like to apologize on behalf of the Sukuna estate,” Uraume bows at your feet. “You have done nothing but service your king and were punished by a concubine by completing your duties. It was decided that you would be taken to the general infirmary to be properly treated and rewarded for you efforts. The two will be punished.”

You jaw drops and Aguri snaps her head in Uraume’s direction. Even Kenjaku straightens at the news.

The concubines were punished? Because of me?

You never expected justice in a world you lived in.

But you doubt that their behavior is the only reason for their punishment.

For women to be concubines, they must come from powerful and wealthy families. There must be some voice they hold in the castle. They would scream to their family before they would fall at the feet of the king.

Kenjaku laughs, leaning back in his seat. His eyes train on your face. “You don’t understand, do you? Sukuna is all powerful— he bows down to none. He is the strongest in the world and will forever be. Their families cannot protect them from our king, no matter how many jewels they throw at his feet.”

It’s like he read my mind, you stare at Kenjaku astonished. His eyes remain fixated on your eyes, not giving away anything. He is a solid as stone.

Uraume grimaces at Kenjaku, but says nothing to dismiss his words. Aguri stays silent, watching the ground.

It must be the truth, then. Lord Sukuna is unstoppable and has true reign on his people.

“How did you know what I was thinking?” the questions slips past your lips, before you can think to speak. Kenjaku is an enigma— a puzzle. You want to play, for once.

To think like a human being. To live. To do more than survive- you wish to thrive.

Maybe, you can do it through him.

“It’s my secret,” he winks, before standing up. Uraume makes no move to stop him as he passes them and nears the door. “I hope to see you more often, (Name).”

Then, he leaves.

ii. burgeon

After the infirmary nurse had come in and determined you healthy to be released, Uraume sent you and Aguri back to your quarters to eat supper.

Nothing was said about the interaction between you and Kenjaku.

Aguri believes it is a steamy romance waiting to be unraveled— a low-level maid meets a mysterious stranger who is smitten with her at first sight will continue to meet her lover in the hours of dusk by chance— by the brushing of shoulders, the touching of hands, or the eventual meeting of lips.

You believe she is insane.

“Kenjaku doesn’t even know me,” you blow on the hot broth, stirring the bits of peas stuck on the bottom of your bowl. “And I’m not even sure what his duties are to the king. What if he’s another subordinate of he is? He would never take an interest in someone like me.”

Aguri throws her head back, sighing loudly. “You don’t know that, (Name)! He seems pretty interested in you from what you’ve told me. Staring at a woman, as she sleeps? And smiling at the sight of her awakening? That sounds like the stories of the princesses they tell children at bedtime.”

You scoff. “It’s rather unprofessional, and very unacceptable.”

“It’s fate,” Aguri declares, stuffing a bread roll into her mouth. Her feet swing under the table, knocking into yours. “You are destined to be together forever! Kenjaku is your soulmate.”

You lift the bowl to your lips, sipping the broth. A soulmate.

That sounds nice. A companion for life. But is Kenjaku that?

You’re not sure. You would describe him as a fairytale to remember for a lifetime— it would be a story you tell to younger maids the older you got— about a dashing man who spoke to you as if you were of his caliber and not a nobody. As if your presence truly mattered to him.

It was a tale to tell for the ages. A story to be passed on for centuries until history repeated for another girl luckier than you.

Maybe she will get married to a man who is her soulmate.

The thought makes you beam.

Aguri hops out of her chair, pointing an overjoyed finger at you. “See, even you like the idea!”

You know Aguri is wrong, but to disagree and wipe the smile off her face would be a criminal act. It isn’t everyday the two of you can sit, chat, and giggle like you used to.

You want to savor this moment, for as long as it lasts.

“Well,” you push your chair out, grabbing your bowl and napkin. You stick out your bowl for Aguri to place into yours. “I hope Kenjaku comes and sweeps me off my feet soon. I’ve been dying to be treated like a maiden, you know. These feet can’t carry all this weight.” You kick up your leg to your back for emphasis.

Aguri giggles, spinning around the room. The ends of her dress flutter up, dancing in circles with the turns of her body.

Even in the rags of her uniform, she is the prettiest person you have laid eyes on. Inside and out, she is unapologetically herself. And that is what makes her so beautiful.

A large part of you hopes that the interest Aguri believes Kenjaku showed to you will disappear. The attention is nice, but you don’t desire what he has to offer. No matter his status, you are content with what you have. Aguri, the ratty sheets of your bed, and the growing pile of loose beads and shiny thread is more than enough to keep you satisfied.

A small part of you refuses to believe that the intentions behind Kenjaku’s appearance as entirely pure. You’re just not sure why he choose to approach you. A night out of wedlock, perhaps?

Did Kenjaku hope to bed you, only hours ago?

The thought makes you frown. Whatever his reasons were, you hope to never cross paths with him again.

His soul is far from pure, that is sure. It is not clear in the way Aguri’s is, or even a pale yellow like Uraume’s is. His is an orb of black with streaks of blood red.

It reminds you of the souls of the concubines, but darker. They had souls of gray, with streaks of pink. Uraume refused to say what happened to them, but you fear the worst.

If Kenjaku was right, they may be dead at best. At worst, they would be fed to the tortured spirits outside the estate.

But Lord Sukuna would never care for a maid like you. Would he listen to Uraume?

You don’t think they would order a harsh punishment on the concubines, either. But you’ve never seen them with anyone of high status. Maybe the higher you were on the social status, the lighter the punishments were.

You wonder if any of them had ever been beaten and bruised in the way you had. If searing hot pikes had been slashed across the backs or whips had been lashed across their stomachs. Or if stones had been smashed into their faces.

For as horrible as they were with you, you wouldn’t wish a single punishment of yours upon them. You would only hope for mercy in the way you had desired during every beating.

A small tapping breaks you from your train of thought. Aguri stops moving, turning to look at you. You cock an eyebrow.

The room you two shared consisted of two mattresses, a tiny table with two stools, and a wooden door to exit. The walls around you were of pure stone, impossible to penetrate from any side. They were as thick as imaginable, meant to prevent maids from slipping messages and conspiring.

Too many rebellions had happened in the past from the inside. They were too messy to clean.

The tapping repeats, this time more rapid. The corners of the door rock.

Someone is trying to reach you.

No maid is permitted to leave their quarters at this time. Who could possibly be awake?

The person on the other side of the door answers for themself.

“You know, I was being serious when I said I wanted to see you again, (Name).”

Aguri squeals, slapping her hands over her mouth. Her eyes crinkle at the corners as she jumps for joy. He’s here for you! her look screams.

You cringe. I don’t want him to be here!

Aguri rolls her eyes.

Kenjaku hums. “I won’t leave until I see your face, my dear. I’ve only come to see you, love.”

Love?

Your stomach churns. Is this courtship?

Aguri giggles excitedly, grabbing your arm and tossing you to the door. “I’ll cover for you, just be safe!”

You stare at her bewildered. “You can’t expect me to leave in the night with a strange man? I’ll get punished!”

“Boo-hoo! No one will know,” Aguri dismisses, rushing to grab your coat. It’s a thin, black piece of cotton that you receive during the winter to keep yourselves warm as you work. There are no sleeves or buttons, simply two ends to tie the material around your shoulders.

Aguri wraps it around you, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. “You only live once, (Name). Just live, will you?”

She doesn’t add it, but she wants you to live her dreams for her. A part of her must wish a man like Kenjaku had come crawling to her door, begging for her voice. So, she’s living her fantasy through you.

I’d only do this for you.

“Alright,” you nod your head. “But please, stay quiet. I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

Aguri lights up before wrapping you in a hug and then shoving you to the door.

“Stay safe!” is all she says before she pushes you into Kenjaku’s arms and shuts the door in your face.

His hands catch your waist, easing you to him. The front of your foot meets his, and you are met with the sight of his eyes peering into yours, faces millimeters apart.

He smells of vanilla and jasmine. Sweet, alluring, and welcoming.

The blue of his lowers, and his eyes flit to your lips. You inhale, your hands coming to his chest.

“You,” you stumble, “You said you wanted to speak with me?”

His eyes remain on your lips, studying the way your mouth remains parted as you await his answer. His hand slides to your neck and his lids lower.

The expression he holds is intimate, as if he were staring at his lover. At the woman of his dreams, the mother of his children, and his future bride.

You are none of those.

But it is nice to be treated like glass for once, isn’t it? To be adored and fawned over. To be loved.

You were not a righteous being. You were not perfect. You did wrong.

Is one mistake okay?

Kenjaku answers. “I wanted to see you, my dear. To hear your voice and your laugh. To watch your eyes light up at the sight of the sky.”

He’s romantic and poetic. His words seem so genuine and sincere.

Maybe it is okay to let go for once— to fall. It may not be forever, but it will be true; at least for you.

“But you can’t see the sky from down here,” you step back, tightening the cloth around your neck. The corners of Kenjaku’s lips rise.

“That’s why we’ll be going up, dear.”

iii. nightlight

“I never knew the estate had a balcony this high up,” you step outside of Kenjaku’s room.

It was located on the second floor of the castle, above the king’s own floor. Apparently, the king’s closest subordinates rested here.

Each room was packed with plush velvet pillows, satin pillowcases, leather couches, and gold decor. A wooden bowl of fresh fruits are presented to each door every morning and subordinates can request any meal from the kitchen they so desire.

They have their own personal bathing quarters, with a large bath made out of silver and an assortment of fresh flowers and oils to spill into the newly warmed water they can order from their maids.

To live like this is to live like a king.

A hand slides down your back. “Look at the stars, (Name). Do you know any constellations?”

You shake your head. “I can hardly read.”

Kenjaku tuts. You tilt your head.

“We must change that, shouldn’t we?”

#© platrom, plot / writing / banners & headers. do not repost, reblogs are appreciated! please consider leaving a comment and a heart! <3

[spngi]

My tears ricochet | mafia!carlos sainz jr x reader

Prologue | part 1 | part 2 | Part 3| Part 4 |part 5

Part 6

summary: Mr. and Mrs. Sainz lived in a dream for many years, now everything is falling apart and they need to deal with their feelings

warnings:Grammar mistakes, mentions of violence, Carlos is an idiot, mentions of cheating, sexual content, angst.

Carlos stared at the ceiling in deep regret, the uncomfortable bed in the guest room killed him and just remembered how much he deserved it.

The three points scratching on his forehead reminded him of the fury he caused his wife, reminded him of how stupid he had been.

The truth is that he went to the hospital, he went and Martina was not there because it was just a desperate call from the mistress wanting him to come back to her. So the only real thing he had to do in that place was to allow them to close the wound on his forehead.

He knew he didn't deserve forgiveness and yet the look you threw at him when you saw him get home almost killed him.

He saw her begging for him for a long time, he had fun refusing you, realizing how much you longed to be close to him and still taking these opportunities from you as punishment.

Punishing you for ruining everything, everything he had planned in his sick head.

Carlos snorts, he was a sucker, he couldn't stand the bar when he saw you grow when he saw you become as big and strong as him and was punishing you. Because he thought you could be eternally the innocent and docile wife who vomited when she saw blood.

He really doesn't remember how fast everything ended up becoming, he waited forever for the apology coming from his wife. But today he didn't know exactly why what kind of excuses he wanted to hear. You had become an amazing woman, more than when he met you, and he would be blind if he couldn't see how much any other boss would like to have someone like you if not you as a partner.

Carlos knew that his wife had begged for his attention for too long, something deep inside him knew that when you begged him to love you again it would be the last time you would be willing to do this. And now it was his turn to humiliate himself.

Not that he considered it a humiliation to fight for you, he loved you after all. His crooked and insane way but he loved it.

That's why he had stuck in that situation, because while he was too busy hating the new qualities of his wife, it was too easy to fall in love with the same qualities you had in someone else, in projecting the old innocent version of your wife on any woman. He could throw himself out of that window at any moment of so much frustration with himself.

He could listen to the music coming through the next room, the old room you shared, it was playing a melody of Ibrahim ferrer and reminded him of so many times that he danced with you and smoked cigars while listening to the Cuban.

At that moment he felt like in that movie mamma mia that you had made him watch a thousand times, he could very well sing one of us, because he now understood the feeling of the music.

He hears the noise of the heels on the floor and gets up, he couldn't be stuck all day lamenting his own idiocy, not when you seemed to be leaving.

Carlos watches you down the hallway, green hunter dress drawing her body, her naked back in sight because of the stuck hair, he feels the smell of the perfume leaving the trail down the hallway and the jimmy choo heels hitting the floor.

Carlos loved when his wife wore green, he loved how the color stook out on her skin and how she looked simply like a goddess in this damn land. What about the perfume? He always loved the smell of his wife but the mixture she used to go out drove him crazy and he could have a heart attack in that hallway right now.

"Where are you going?" He asks annoyed that he was not considered in her plans.

"To a philanthropy event" y/n responds and turns to it, the front view is even more killer and Carlos would like to be good as you painting to be able to keep this scene.

"And why didn't you invite me?" He asks upset, you stare at him coldly as if you really don't need to answer which of the reasons for not inviting him.

"You've always hated these events," she finally replies, shrugging.

Carlos doesn't know what to answer, because it was true he really always hated going to gala events, and always complained about going to them, although he always came home to have you providing the best sex to thank him.

The beautiful woman in front of him does not expect an answer, it just follows as if the presence of Carlos was insignificant and he feels even more useless for not having received his invitation.

He waits in the living room anxiously, a glass of drink in his hand, two, three or who is counting? The night keeps going by and his wife never arrives, he wonders how many times you've been in his place lately, waiting for him at home while he was being stupid enough to be with another. He remembers the time he caught her sleeping in his office, nestled uncomfortably in the chair only in extremely light and delicate pink lingerie on her skin, he didn't wake her up that day, just letting you wake up of your own free will the other day with a horrible stiff neck.

He definitely deserved all the vases you could throw at him.

When you arrive, Carlos can no longer stare at the Watch or understand what time it is, he just faces you coming in laughing next to the boy Norris and wonders what he told you for you to laugh so much. Carlos could make you laugh, he loved being the reason for your laughter.

"Are you drunk?" The sainz is taken out of his astonishment when he hears her beautiful voice.

"A little" he cokes his eyes, tries to keep his posture firm in the armchair but it is useless.

He feels like a child out of the conversation while he sees you talking to Norris, you dismiss him and go back to Carlos.

"Let's go up" Carlos loves when you use the bostly tone with him, he smiles loosely with his words.

"Can I sleep in our room?"

"No, Carlos" your refusal hurts him, even when you lift him up and help him follow the steps to the stairs affectionately. Trying to balance him by your side even in heels.

"I love you so much, I'm a complete idiot, I love you, yn" sainz starts talking, the truth was that drunk carlos had a loose mouth and said everything that came to mind.

"I was wrong, I should never have doubted you, I hurt you so much and you could hit me as much as you wanted if it worked to forgive me"

"Carlos I don't want to talk to you now" y/n answers, finally opening the door of the couple's room.

His heart melts with the way you still take care of him, put him to bed and help him take off his shirt and jeans, he keeps talking incessantly about how much he feels and regrets it although you don't seem to listen much.

"You look so beautiful in green, you should wear more green, I love how beautiful you look in green" he keeps talking and you cover him with the blankets.

"You should sleep, Carlos" he is interrupted by her voice, he stops pondering and just lets himself admire her beauty, you were the most beautiful woman who inhabited this land and he was stupid enough to throw everything with you in the trash.

"I love you, cariño," he murmurs.

He doesn't listen if you answer him or when you gently kiss his forehead, too far already giving himself to sleep.

You don't sleep with him in the room that night, exchanging the guest room with him.

One more part with a carlos pov! I hope you guys are enjoying it!

Leave your comments and opinions ❤️❤️❤️

[sillymercury]

Make You See My Crazy

AzrielxReader

<3

Warnings: some slightly sexual themes

Word count: 7.9k

It’s split into parts only bc I can’t stop yapping

Summary: Upon joining the inner circle you expected excitement, movement, enterprise. Instead you were faced with mundane, every day was nearly the same and repetitive motion was killing you. It’s hard sneaking around the person you love but it’s inevitable when they’re the one holding you back.

Part 2 to I’m not the Crazy One, She Is

<3

I thought working with the inner circle would be action packed; missions, fighting, or infiltrating other courts. I imagined myself having serious debriefs with Rhysand and far off adventures with Mor or Azriel. But for the first year and some change it’s just been training. Every. Day.

I guess it was to be expected, I had to be thoroughly prepared; even if what I was being prepared for was the impossible.

Some of the scenarios Azriel would throw at me were absolutely off the wall; like being shrunken down and hidden under a walnut casing, being drugged with hallucinogenic cookies that make the enemy seem like friends, being eaten by a shark? It was deluded. I asked him if any of those things ever happened to him, his answer; “Unimportant. It could happen to you.”

I thought I was flying through training with flying colors, and so did Rhysand and Cassian and Nesta and Gwyn and Feyre and Emerie and Morrigan and Amren and pretty much everyone other than Azriel. He always found something to correct or have a question with no right answer. At first it was funny, but then I mastered the sword, dagger, staff, bow and arrow, and my personal favorite nunchucks. Now it’s just condescending.

The time I wasn’t preparing for the impossible I was working on strengthening my powers with Amren and Nesta. I’ve had control of my abilities for the better part of two centuries but using them for combat was different. I had mostly used them to get what I want, adopting strangers on the streets powers to make my night more interesting. Now I was using people’s own powers against them. My abilities expanded beyond what I ever thought, what I had ever attempted. I can connect with at least 3 people, stealing power from multiple sources. I can also connect over a distance but that’s only for people that I know, if I can envision them in my minds eye and envision their powers I can connect from virtually anywhere.

Ive never felt more powerful, more formidable, more like a force to be reckoned with than since I’ve begun working with the inner circle. But for some reason, a reason that edged my last nerve Azriel didn’t see it.

“I can take on anyone in this godsdamned court and hold my own, but it’s always ‘you’re not ready’ ‘you need more training’ ‘what if something terribly unlikely happens?’” I groaned at I threw myself back onto Nesta and Cassian’s shared bed. The female was perched at the top, legs tucked underneath herself, watching me with a sly expression.

“It’s because he likes you,” Nesta teased, a knowing smile making its way onto her face.

I flipped myself over and bit my bottom lip, failing at controlling my smile. “I know,” I said dreamily, I could feel my face heat as I thought of the shadowsinger. “But that’s another thing, he likes me, I know he does. But he’s also distant, not physically but emotionally. He’s holding back from me and I don’t know why. Like go king! Give me nothing!”

Nesta laughed as she slid onto her stomach as well, face close to mine, “That’s just how these Illyrians are. They only want love if it’s torture.”

I rolled my eyes at her words, “What did you read that in a book or something?”

“Or something,” she smirked and I chuckled at response shaking my head. “I can’t help you with your love sick yet sickeningly distant Az but in terms of putting you in the field; talk to Rhys. Tell him that you feel more than ready to have a mission of your own.”

I groaned, sneaking around Az didn’t feel right. I wanted him to see me, see what I’m capable of and want me by his side. “Okay,” I said while I picked at my nails. I peaked at the female and she gave me a pointed look, “Okay!” This time I spoke with more conviction. Standing up I stamped my foot with my hands on my hips “I am going to talk to him,” I turned my head to glance out the window, night had taken over the sky, “tomorrow morning.”

It was Nestas turn to groan, her face fell into the bed as she shook her head, “Your just as bad as Azriel.”

“Come on. It’s late, he’s probably in bed. Plus last time I went to him this late…” I shuddered. Nesta just laughed, obviously recalling the story of me winnowing into Rhys’ office and seeing my high lord and high lady in a… compromising position. “Alright,” I stretched, “I’m going home, don’t wait for me at training. I’ll see Rhys bright and early!”

Her face held mock conviction as she nodded once. I just laughed and leaned over to press a loving kiss to the females head, “Bye!!!!” I sang as I channeled Rhys from afar and winnowed myself home.

I was offered a room at the House of Wind and I stayed there most nights but I still kept my cottage. With the egregious checks Rhys wrote me every month I could afford my own little castle but this was home. A new fae had moved in next door, a very nice one, and the corner was cozier than ever before. Also with Az away, the house of wind felt… colder; I needed the warmth of my space.

I went through my night routine; stripping the leathers I had grown accustomed to wearing, cleaning my hair and skin, and climbing into bed with a shirt that Azriel definitely knew was missing. As I laid I contemplated what I would say to Rhys, he has said he thought I was ready but he still backed up Azriel. I shook my head, deciding I couldn’t wait until morning.

Rhys, I whispered into his mind. Channeling his power I was able to slip past his barriers, something he was truly disturbed to find out I could do. Rhys, I tried again a little louder when he didn’t answer.

Stop using my power against me, he spoke, frustration clear. I hate when you do that.

I giggled into his mind, finding out that mental barriers don’t work against me was a pleasant surprise for me and a source of grief for Rhys. Powers are connected to emotions so the more passionate I made someone the more control I could take over their magic. I need to talk to you.

It can’t wait? I’m… busy. I knew exactly what he meant and shivered as war flash backs played in my brain.

Ewwww, I ragged. I suppose it can. I turned in my bed, making myself comfy.

The silence didn’t last long, Never mind, Nyx just woke. What do you need Y/n?

I paused, a hundred persuasive and graceful ways to ask came to the forefront but I chose succinctness. I want to go on a mission.

He paused, from inside his mind I could hear the wheels turning but out of respect for his privacy I cast my glance away. Waiting until Az is out of town, are you trying to get me in trouble?

No! I just… I’m ready. There was nothing else to say, I’m ready. I know it, Rhys knows it, everyone in this circle knows it; it’s time for me to prove it.

I heard him click his tongue, thinking of how to deny me nicely. I filled his head with my disappointment, my hurt from being consistently passed over. A sigh was heard, and I felt his conviction break.

Okay, I have an idea. See me in the morning.

I didn’t let my excitement slip into his mind but I’m sure he heard it in my voice, Okay, okay! Perfect. I’ll see you!

I disconnected from him and rolled over, giggling into my pillow and kicking lightly under my blanket. I wondered what Rhys had planned, I tried not to let my imagination get me too excited but as I fell into rest depictions of other courts circled my mind.

-

Azriel landed in the training ring with a swift silence. His leathers were glistening in the sun, clean and shiny. He picked up the habit of cleaning them before returning right around the time you started spending nights in the House of Wind. The thought of you seeing him covered in blood unsettled him, he knew deep down you wouldn’t truly care but he wanted to protect you nonetheless.

His bright eyes scanned the ring; priestesses, Valkyrie’s, and a very loud Cassian controlled the space. No you.

She’s not here, his shadows informed him. Upon further prompting his shadows informed him that you weren’t at home, or with Rhys. His eyebrows knitted with confusion as he continued to glance around. It wouldn’t be the first time you skipped training, he pictured the time he caught you tucked into a high-end dress store when you were meant to be in the ring.

He was prepared to take to the skies, ready to find where you were hiding before his brother cut him off, “Az, honey! Not even a hello?” Cass was walking toward him with a natural ease and he couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

“Hello brother,” was all he offered. His voice was void of emotion but his heart was full, coming home to family was always enjoyable. Especially after spending time in the dark tunnels of the Hewn City, seeing someone with a smile on their face was appreciated.

Cass wrapped strong arms around Az’s shoulders, holding him tight. Azriel just returned the favor with two quick taps on his back under his wings.

“I need to go find Y-“ he didn’t make it through his sentence before Cassian cut him off.

“You need to come see these priestesses,” with an arm around Az’s shoulder he led him further into the ring. “We’ve got six more priestesses picking up swords, we have a little battalion on our hands.”

Az lightly smiled and nodded, letting his brother lead him. He figured you could have the day off, you deserve it. You had been doing amazing, you were a quick learner; swift, light on your feet, and knew how to finish strong. Your fighting coupled with your power, you would be daunting in the felid; when you were ready… when he was ready to let you be ready.

Az knew you would hold your on, connecting to his power you would be the assets he always needed but he wanted to protect you, keep you safe from that part of his life as long as he could.

The better part of the morning and early afternoon were spent with the priestesses. Helping them with their swordsmanship, correcting techniques and giving confidence where it was needed. Cass and Az felt something like pride as the watched the females taking back the power that was stolen from them. With training behind them the boys gathered around the island in the extravagant kitchen, chatting with Emerie, Gwyn, and Nesta about the progress being made. You stayed in the back of Azriel’s mind, not being at training and not showing up as the day pushed on. He tried to keep cool about it, you were sensible and strong and he didn’t need to keep you on a leash, but with training 3 hours behind him his hands started to itch at the lack of your presence. His attentive shadows kept him updated, you still weren’t at your house or any of Rhys’.

“So where’s Y/n?” He asked, trying to remain casual as he leaned forward, bracing his arms on the stone island. Lunch had came and went without a word from you. Gwyn’s eyes widened for a fraction of a a second but Emerie quickly pulled her into conversation pertaining to their upcoming book club. Weird.

Nesta just pursed her lips and shrugged coolly, a light shake of her head accompanying the motion. Cassian on the other hand was staring into the tea he that had suddenly became very interesting. That was weirder. If Cass didn’t know he would’ve came up with some witty remark like, ‘she probably found a hot male with emotional maturity’ or ‘she has your account information, probably running you into the ground.’

He stalked a little closer to his brother, Cass just dipped his head further towards his cup. Az bit his cheek, thanking the mother for his brothers inability to keep a secret or produce a good lie.

Az wrapped a wing around his brothers form and dipped down too, “If you put your nose any further into that cup, you’ll drown.”

“Huh? Oh!” Cass laughed as he stood up straighter. He cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders, trying to gain some semblance of confidence. Nesta gave him a look and he turned away quickly, unfortunately for him he turned directly toward Az. The only thing he could do was offer a nervous smile.

Az returned the favor with a saccharine grin, got him. “Where is she Cass?”

“Who?” He asked dumbly. He clenched his fist to keep from slapping his face, he was under the fire of his brothers gaze and he was choking. Az just raised his eyebrows and gave him a pointed look. “Oh, Y/n. Pfft I don’t-“ he tried to do what Nesta did, pout his lips and shrug coolly. He didn’t look cool. “I don’t know. Where is she Nesta?” His voice suddenly carried a faux confusion as he turned to his mate, attempting to take attention off of himself.

Nesta glared, “I. Don’t. Know,” she bit out through gritted teeth. Cass gulped, knowing no matter how this ended he was screwed. He just nodded, humming at her before turning to Az, offering up another lame shrug.

Az looked between the two for a second before glancing over at the other two fae. Their conversation had stopped to take in the scene, at the instant of Azriel’s eyes they quickly turned away and began speaking again.

Az just nodded, the picture of calm. Cassian gulped yet again, he knew he was the weakest link and that Azriel would press him specifically for information. Cassian’s fears were confirmed when the sick smile returned to Az’s face and a firm hand was placed on his shoulder. “Cassian,” Az’s voice was low, slow, “Where is she?” The calmness and gentleness of his words sent a shiver down Cassian’s spine.

“I don’t know, truly,” he was folding. Nesta shook her head before placing it in the arms that were folded across the counter. “She was begging and she wouldn’t let up. Said she was super determined and no wasn’t a viable answer so Rhys caved, sent her on a mission this morning.”

“Good gods,” slipped from Nestas lips. Hand braced on her shaking forehead as she looked into the distance, questioning the mother.

“What?” Az’s grip turned to iron and his brother cringed at the force. He looked between the four in the kitchen, everyone knew. Everyone knew and wanted to keep it from him, if he wasn’t losing his mind he might feel bad.

Nothing else was said, there was nothing left to say, Azriel’s pace was rushed as he pushed through the balcony doors and into the sky.

“Azriel,” Rhys breathed. If the frustration wasn’t clear in his voice, it showed in the way his hands slid down his face.

“Rhys,” he pressed, “I know I just- she just needs more time.” Rhys shook his head at his brothers words, disagreeing. He knew if it were up to Az you would never leave the safety of Velaris. “How would you feel if it was Feyre?” Az’s pushing earned him a growl.

“If you remember, it was Feyre. I had to let her fight far before she was ready. Even so, Y/n is leagues ahead of Feyre.” Az shook his head now, desperately trying to find the words to convince his brother. “If we keep her stagnant any longer the poor female will become destitute.” Azwas quickly becoming hysterical, you meant so much to him and putting you in the line of fire… Hot angry tears pooled on his bottom lash despite his best efforts to keep them at bay, continuing to shake his head as he began clenching his fist. He was fighting so desperately to take control of this situation but Rhys was hard headed and determined to try out his new toy.

“It’s not going to be easy, it will never be easy dealing with the possibility of your mate getting hurt. But if you’re just going to coddle her then what’s the point of bringing her into this circle? She is smart, and strong, let her prove it.”

Az let out a chopped breath. It was his turn to bring his hands to his face, shamefully hiding the tears Rhys was already aware of. He didn’t speak for a moment, pondering. When he brought her in he had to admit he didn’t think of this. He saw it as an excuse to have her close, bring her into the family and keep her around. But after getting close to her, learning her, loving her, he didn’t care anymore. He wanted to keep her hidden from the dark world he had come to know so well. He wished she was offered a different position even though her powers were an amazing defensive and offensive asset; he never wanted to use it.

He shook his head one more time, “I just need more time.” His pleading voice broke and Rhys softened at the sound. All he’s ever wanted for his brother was to feel that earth shattering love like the one he felt for Feyre. How could he tell him those fears were invalid? That they don’t have basis? They’re wrong? He couldn’t and when Az let out one more shaky, “Please, brother,” he couldn’t say no.

Azriel landed in front of the river house with a thud, no shadowy elegance and no preternatural silence. His heightened emotions pushed all of that out of the way to make room for his task; find Rhys, kill Rhys.

He stomped through the house, making his presence and his anger known. He didn’t bother to knock on Rhys’ office door, just blowing it wide open. His high lord sat in his large leather chair while his high lady was perched on the edge of the desk, engaged in loving conversation.

The slamming doors caught their attention as Azriel stopped short of Rhys’ desk, growling his name.

“I figured you’d show up here soon enough, do you have your mission report?” Rhys was calm as he leaned back in his chair, observing Azriel and his pristine leathers and contorted face. Az wanted to stick his eyes and shake Rhys until his head fell off.

“You know that’s not why I’m here,” his voice was low as he struggled to form a sentence and not a fist.

“Oh?” Rhys feigned innocence and Azriel’s grip slipped, fists taking place at his side. “Why are you here then brother?”

A low scoff made its way out, Azriel had to look away to collect the parts of him he could. He didn’t want to play this stupid back and forth game, he wanted to find you. Blowing up on Rhys wouldn’t do anything good for him so he bit out his next words, “My mate. Where is she?”

“Ah, yes.” Rhys just nodded as he continued to look Azriel up and down, sizing how far he could push him. Feyre on the side held a confused face as she tried to decipher the situation. Azriel’s mate? How would Rhys know where she is? A low growl reverberated through Az and his brother just clicked his tongue in response. “She’s fine Az, please-“

Azriel cut him off, walking closer to brace his hands on the desk, “I told you she wasn’t ready. She needed more time to-“

It was Azriel’s turn to get cut off as he held up a hand, “No. You said you weren’t ready. You said you needed time. I gave you time, that times up.”

Az growled again, hands gripping the desk with so much force the wood under his hands groaned. His eyes were wild and his face displayed so much fury Feyre thought he might jump over it and tear into Rhys. “Az…” she said tentatively.

“Did you know?” He looked at her accusingly, not being able to hold his rage back from her. Her eyes widened and she brought a hand to her heart, her hair slid over her shoulder as she shook it back and forth.

“Know what Az? You found your mate? That’s amazing, I-“ Feyre tried to lighten the mood, choosing to focus on the good parts of the conversation.

Az rolled his eyes away from her and back to his brother. “Yes, I did find her.” His eyes held his brothers in challenge, Rhys didn’t back down but Az would either. “It’s a shame though, Rhys seems adamant on getting her killed.” He leaned in slightly, baring his teeth on the last word.

The thought of you out there, alone, in a potentially dangerous situation made his brain fog. His whole body twitched; desperate to tear apart the entirety of Pyrthian until he found you. Deep down he knew his feelings were irrational, Rhys wouldn’t send you somewhere dangerous for your first mission, solo to boot. He knew that you were fierce in your fighting technique. He knew that the reservoir of powers you could access made you one of, if not the most, powerful fae in Pyrthian. He knew you didn’t need him to protect or guard you and that you wanted this. Knowing all of those things doesn’t make it any easier though.

“She’s not- Az please,” Rhys pinched the bridge of his nose and screwed his eyes shut, trying to will away the headache his brother was giving him. “Feyre, baby, give us a moment.”

She just nodded, eyes still examining Az as if she’d find her answer written on his face. She leaned into the kiss Rhys placed on her forehead before moseying out of the office. Rhys pushed himself away from the desk and to the large couch in his office. He grabbed two glasses and the decanter off the liquor cart before sitting down. Az watched silently as he poured two neat glasses of whiskey and sipped one while offering the other.

When Az didn’t move he sat the other glass down and stared at it before saying, “She’s in no danger brother. But you might want to have a drink before I tell you where she is.”

Az’s hands returned to fists and he just stared, zeroed in on Rhys like a deadly predator. Rhys rolled his eyes and gestured to the spot on the couch next time, insinuating he wouldn’t speak until Az at least sat down. Begrudgingly he followed his brothers instructions though sitting down didn’t display any comfort as he was still rigid.

Rhys just watched his brother, looking at him as if the right way to inform him of his mate’s whereabouts would be written on his skin somewhere. The stare only unnerved Az, his skin started to prickle at the attention he was receiving and his vague patience was slipping.

He took a deep breath before grabbing the drink, downing it in one go. It didn’t help his nerves but he let out a sigh anyway before turning back, “Where is she?” His voice was calmer now, the anger was replaced with desperation, exhaustion.

Rhys let out a sigh too, leaning back he stared for a moment longer. “She’s in the day court, where she will remain for the next month and a half.” Az’s eyes widened and with furrowed eyebrows he insisted Rhys go on, “After that she will spend a month and a half in dawn, then winter, summer, and possibly autumn. I’ve spoken with Eris but I’m not entirely sure if we’ll be able to slip her in past Beron.”

Az shook his head, trying to grasp the information being given to him. “Wait you sent her through the courts? For the next 8 months? Why?”

“More training,” he leveled a look at Az whose face still displayed confusion. “Apparently what we’re doing here isn’t enough, so she will train with our closest allies. Learn all new powers along the way and techniques even we don’t have. By the time she comes back, even you will think she’s ready.”

Azriel shot up, hands coming to slide down his face has he passed around the low table. You were gone? For potentially 7.5 months? This was wrong, so so wrong. You should be here, by his side where he can see to it that you get the training you need. The thought of someone else, potentially another male, training you… his skin felt hot to the touch.

“Rhys! I don’t- what do you mean?” He stopped pacing in front of his brother, he wanted to scream, tear him a new one but he felt too manic to focus on that now. “So she’s just gone? For months?! I don’t- how could you do this!”

Rhys poured Az another glass as he spoke, “What was I supposed to do Az? You were safe guarding her to the point it was damn near suffocating. She just wanted to do something, to feel like her time was productive-“

“It was productive!” Az cut in, “She was with me! I was training her! Sending her away like that- what if someone finds about her powers? Do you know what other courts would do to get their hands on her?!”

“Yes Az,” Rhys spoke in a tried tone, being able to tell this conversation wasn’t going to cool down anytime soon. “She knows, she’s safe guarding her powers. She won’t use them in training, just learning other courts techniques and studying their powers to bring back here and implement.”

Az scoffed and shook his head, resuming his pacing. He wasn’t convinced, there was worry and anger, and longing taking up all the space for rationality. “She just wanted to get out there, you know she’s never left Velaris?”

Az’s eyes flew to Rhys’ at the question. “Of course I know,” he bit out. He knew everything about you, everything you were willing to offer him. Late nights spent in your room- at a respectful distance- gave way to room for life stories. You indulged in your early life, family, friends, love history, hobbies, likes and dislikes. He kept it all stored away in meticulous detail, committing everything you’ve ever said to him in perfect memory. You vulnerability inspired him, encouraged him to do the same and bare his soul to you. He told you everything, except for one, or maybe two things. He was safe guarding the bond, not wanting it to influence your decision. He wanted you to choose him because you wanted to choose him, not because you thought you had too.

Rhys hummed, nodding. “Well, she wasn’t going to stop until I gave her something. She’s safe and she’s happy and she’ll be back in no time.”

Azriel rolled his eyes at his brothers hypocrisy, he would be beside himself if Feyre left for that long. He moved toward the door with determination, he was going to find you. He needed to tell you that he was sorry, you didn’t have to run or sneak behind his back. He would tell you what he knew was true and promise not to hold you back anymore. “No you won’t,” Rhys cleaved through his thoughts. “One visitation permit was issued from the courts, Im sure they wouldn’t appreciate my spy sleuthing around. Not to mention how she’d feel about it.”

Az growled at that, cutting his brother a loathsome glare before slamming the doors once again behind him. Rhys just sighed, leaning back and polishing off the drink Az didn’t finish.

-

No time, that was bullshit. The months passed like years and Azriel swears he could’ve lived multiple lives in the time you were gone. He wasn’t himself, out of step, out of sync. It was kinda crazy, he lived so long without you and after just a few hours of knowing you were gone he reverted to a shell of himself.

Some days he barely tried to train, moving through the sessions like a phantom. Other days he laid his hurt bare, taking it out on Cassian until his brother had to tell him ‘no more.’

Work wasn’t able to distract him, he had been on one mission since your departure. Rhys refused to let him go, claiming he was too frazzled to focused. Despite knowing its truth Az tried to disagree, he ended up losing train of thought half way through the conversation, proving Rhys’ point.

You had sent letters, 3 came at least twice a month. One to Rhys, giving updates on where she was and how training was going. One to Nesta, the two had grown close in her time training with the inner circle. One to Azriel, it was similar to Rhys’, she was giving life updates and telling him wonderful stories. Azriel wanted to answer, truly, but the longer he thought the more he realized he had nothing to say. You were having so much fun, meeting wonderful people, exploring new powers, and seeing Pyrthian like you always wanted. He was ashamed by the fact that if it was up to him, you wouldn’t have gone. He sat down to write how sorry he was, how excited for you he was, how he wished he could see it all with you but his letters only made it as far as the fire. He was convinced you were angry with him, that’s why you left while he was gone. He read and reread every letter so much they were a crumpled mess in his hands, some terrible part of him convinced him they were pity letters. His fears were “confirmed” when his letters stopped halfway through the third month.

He was a bit surprised when around the middle of the fourth month he felt talons tapping on his mental shield, far more polite that Rhys has ever been. He opened his shield just enough to let you in, not far enough for anything other than communication.

Hi Azriel, your voice rang through him like a church bell. He shivered at the pleasant invasion, unwittingly letting the rest of his walls down from you. His subconscious wanted you everywhere, invading every part of him, committing all of him to memory.

Hello, Y/n. He hated how timid his voice sounded. But he couldn’t help it, talking to you made him nervous, especially after ghosting your letters.

He heard you sigh into his mind and he couldn’t help himself but duplicate the sound. Hearing your voice, feeling your essence, provided much needed relief.

I’ve missed you, he spoke in his mind. The words came out as a soft whisper, tentative and unsure.

Yea? I could tell by the way you ignored all my letters. He cringed at your words, your tone was joking but he didn’t miss the thinly veiled frustration. He was silent; not sure how to respond or if he even could. His remorse flooded his head and you surely caught on, based on the way you quickly spoke again. I’m sorry, shouldn’t have-

No, he cut you off. You’re right, I should’ve responded. I just wasn’t- I didn’t know what to say. I was- I still am ashamed.

It was your turn to be silent. If he stilled his mind he swears he could feel you nodding. Your questioning voice came through, You think I shouldn’t have gone?

I thought that. But I’ve read your letters, the ones to me and the ones Rhys gave me access too. Your progress is… you couldn’t have achieved what you are now if I kept you hidden.

You were silent, Azriel could feel the contemplation. After a couple beats you spoke again. I’m sorry.

Don’t apologize, ever.

You waited before speaking again, But I am sorry. It felt wrong leaving the way I did, like I was sneaking behind your back. I didn’t even get to tell you goodbye.

Azriel chuckled lightly out loud. It’s a good thing though, I probably wouldn’t have let you go.

Oh yeah? You laugh. What would you have done? Restrain me? Your voice held a playful edge that excited something in Azriel. The lower end of his stomach began to twist and he had to control himself with you still in his mind.

It was his shadows that spoke next, let her see. Their encouragement drew back the curtain of self control and he opened his mind deeper for you. He let you into the fantasies of restraining you with his shadows. Covering your vision with wisps of darkness, blurring your senses to ensure touch was heightened.

He showed you how he would be slow, take his time with you. How he would push your body to absolute extremities, take you to your peak over and over before cradling your exhausted body. You were silent as you witnessed his eagerness, his willingness to give you all the pleasure your body could handle. He heard you let loose a breath, If I knew that’s what you’d do to me I would’ve left a lot sooner.

A dry chuckle left Az’s lips, Then perhaps your punishment should be to withhold such treatment. His smirk was evident in his voice, and you gasped out a laugh at the mention of what had become an inside joke.

You’re a tease! You shrieked down the mental bond and Azriel laughed freely.

Az stayed connected with you late into the night, speaking of pretty much anything under the sun, or in this case the moon. He talked until your voice slowed down and became soft hums of acknowledgment. Eventually your presence in his mind was peaceful, calm; the proof of your sleep

-

3 weeks.

10 days.

4 hours.

15 minutes.

The time that had dragged its feet through sand was now moving at a lively pace. It was by no means quick, you had still taken your time coming back. But with daily mental communication, daily mental flirtation, having only minutes between the two of you Azriel felt his skin buzz. His wings moved on their own, display his anticipation for the world.

Az had woken up early… earlier than usual. The sun was teasing the horizon, threatening to spill its light across the mostly sleeping city. Azriel couldn’t help the coy smile as he greeted the morning happily. Little tasks had kept his body busy as his brain counted down the minutes of your arrival. Shower, train, shower again, morning flight, cleaning, bureaucratic busy work, trip to the shops, following Cassian around for a couple hours. Azriel couldn’t sit down, if he did his leg would bounce and he would be up again in seconds.

But here he was, smoothing the already smooth leathers as he waited “casually” in the greeting room of the river house. He had cleaned up your room in the HoW when you left but he took to dusting it, changing your sheets, and adding fresh and fragrant flowers to liven up the space.

5 minutes, his shadows whispered as they danced around his ears. They reflected their masters eagerness, also unable to sit still and be patient.

You hadn’t connected with him today, most likely too busy getting your affairs in order. Azriel didn’t mind though, it added to his anticipation. For the first time in what could be ever he felt like a kid, bouncing around the room with an insatiable excitement brewing below.

Azriel rubbed his rough hands together and made eye contact with his shoes, a heavy breath left his lips and suddenly it felt stagnant. Everything stopped.

Seconds turned to hours as his head turned upwards. For a moment everything stoped, the world was lost to Azriel as he finally saw you. The sounds of the room became slow and muffled and the only sound was a soft song. A light airy melody, a beautiful blend of bells and chimes. A sweet sound made only by your presence.

The air finally left his mouth and the world returned to normal, time picked up and everything was moving again. The shadows that carried you in dissipated and the ground shook with the bellows of his family.

Cassian was first to reach you, spinning you around like a doll. He barely has time to put you down before Nesta latched on and mumbled something only you could hear. Feyre greeted you with a smile and open arms, Rhys extended a hand that you took firmly. Elaine and Amren gave welcome to your presence and suddenly it was Arziel’s turn. Even his shadows beat him to you, circling every inch- noting every tiny change within you, all the things that didn’t show though your voice in his mind every night. The lines created from muscle, the natural lightness added to your hair that only comes from saltwater and direct sunlight, the clear and unmistakable scent of raw power. Every little thing was reported back to him, the way each minuscule movement of yours was silent, the advanced lightness of each step that brought you closer, the disciplined posture you now carried. Then there was the perceptive glint in your eye, one that seemed to bore into his skin, one that traced every cell and tendon in his biology; tracking his synapses and learning his bones. One that tore apart his soul and memorized it.

“Azriel,” Your greeting was clean and simple; and it almost brought him to his knees. He steadied himself with a breath and clenched the fists that wanted to reach for you. Not yet. Not here.

“Welcome home Y/n,” all the courage that made a warrior was used as he held your eyes. You were still you, still the same female he devoted each waking thought to. But you now held an edge, a deadly aura that put even him off. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve learned.”

You smiled, all of your venom hidden behind perfect, pearly structures. “I can’t wait to show you.”

Your long awaited return was celebrated with dinner, drinks, and the promise of putting your skills to the test at first light. You celebrated and mingled, held your drink dutifully but didn’t take a single sip. Your months of watching your own back and the crippling paranoia that you would be made kept you from inebriation. Not to mention you wanted to be at your best when you displayed yourself. You casually turned in early, leaving the festivities to the ones who actually indulged. You took to setting your room up in a way only self preservation would justify. Weapons were hidden all around your space, a habit from being in enemy territory with no back up. You had to be ready for anything at any time, being caught off guard would be the difference between life and death. Once you felt confident in your new arrangements you climbed into bed, channeling Azriel’s shadows to watch you in your sleep.

-

I awoke before the sun, prepping myself in fighting leathers and a clean hairstyle. My go bag was packed and placed at the foot of the bed where it could be grabbed on the way out. It was full of all the weapons I had grown accustomed to using. Most of it was basic, knives, sabers, and folding spears. There were also more elaborate weapons unique to the courts I spent time in; light directors, specific for centralizing the power of light from the day court. Loch detonators, a device that turns powered water into intense explosives. The collection was impressive but most of it would prove to be useless today, I planned on taking the boys in hand-to-hand combat.

I pushed open the window of my room before climbing out. Scaling the monstrous house, I jumped and grabbed all the edges that would lead me to the roof. The roof was hipped into a long line, on that I ascend and landed at the apex. One foot balanced on the line while the other crossed over my bent knee. My hands stretched out on either side, keeping my center of gravity directly over the line.

The cold dusk air heightened every sense as I let loose. Thoughts escaped as my perfectly poised body found peace, my steady breath the only tether to the earth. With my mind clear and body at ease I was able to connect with every part of myself, honing every part of me for battle. After an hour of meditation I stood up and began to move. To any onlooker it would look like I’m dancing on the roof not partaking in an ancient practice of energetic redirection. I came across the art of Tai Chi in my time spent in the summer court, a friend I had made took me to her village on the southern edge and though it is a closed practice one of the elders agreed to teach the basics. I had also managed to find some scrolls on the subject in Helion’s vast library and continued my training. Now it was part of my daily exercise; balance my mind, body, and energy.

Nearly two hours and passed before I left the roof, opting to winnow in and grab my bag before making my way to the training ring. Cassian and Az were there, preparing for the day with calisthenics.

“Good morning angel,” Cassian greeted with the trademark smile that comes before saying something stupid. “Done dancing on the roof?”

I looked to your feet as a smile creeped onto my face, “Yea, ready to dance with you now.”

“Ohh, we’ll see about that,” Cassian’s face was smug but I kept smiling nonetheless. It made sense, he had no reason not to be. He’s perfectly unaware of what I’ve learned and what I’ve taught myself. Azriel on the other had looked calculating, like he was trying to note all the ways I’ve changed. His gaze was piercing, like he could figure out all I’ve learned just by looking at me. He knows all of my experiences, everywhere I was at any given time but my training was not something we had discussed in detail.

“What about you Azriel?” I tilted your head as I looked him up and down. Blatant and greedy, not even trying to hide my hunger. He had opted to train shirtless this morning, something whispered that it was a subtly attempt to distract me. “You ready to dance with me?”

Azriel smirked, stalking closer as he continued to tape his knuckles. “Hmph,” he matched my actions, eyes taking over the way your lean body contorted under my leathers. “I was born ready for you.”

I felt my body rise a hundred degrees and his words and gaze, I wanted to jump on him the same way I did in our shared visions. But I kept my composure, he was trying to rile me up. “I sure hope you mean that.” one finger made its way to his arm, tracing the tattoos there until it met the glove on his hand. I grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips, kissing his knuckles in a light teasing fashion. His nostrils flared as I looked up at him through l lashes. “Because Id want nothing more than a go at you.”

He opened his mouth but was cut off by his brother, “Good morning! I hope you’re all ready because I know I am.” Rhys strolled over with Feyre, Amren, and Mor in tow. He rubbed his hands together in a gesture that showed excitement before shoving them in his pockets.

“I hope you’re ready for a show,” Cass spoke as he stretched one last time, “Y/n plans to dance.” I just smiled in response, Rhys raised a brow and his eyes shone. He was the one receiving daily briefings. I had connected with him and let him see some of my work through my eyes. Some. The rest I kept safeguarded, waiting until this moment to show them off. Since I were essentially stealing the powers I was exposed to I didn’t have anyone to train me in their use, normally that would put me at a disadvantage but Rhys changed my outlook on that. Since I hadn’t been taught how to use them I was never put in a box, never limited to what everyone else thought was possible. I could experiment with the powers I encountered, come up with my own ways to use them, and create different techniques than those normally seen. The magic belonged to others but when I used them, the powers were wholly mine.

“Okay Y/n, who do you want to dance with first? Cassian or Azriel?” Rhys asked, the knowingly look on his face was obvious. He knew what I would say, and I wasn’t in the mood to disappoint.

“Aww, I can’t have both?” I pouted lightly, turning from Rhys to the other parts of the trio, “I’ve always wanted to take on brothers.” The tease in my voice lit a double meaning behind the words. Cass snorted and Az just ducked his head and shook it side to side, even so I could still see the small smile on his lips.

“Well what are we waiting for?” Cass said clasping his hands, “I’m in the wish granting business sweetheart.” I just nodded simply as I pursed my lips, looking them up and down once more before grabbing my bag and heading to the far end of the ring. As I was wrapping my own knuckles Nesta came over with a water bottle meant for me.

“Thanks honey,” I smiled as I took the water. “Promise you won’t hate me if I bang your mate up a bit?”

Nesta laughed, “Hate you? Baby I’ll thank you. That male needs humbled.” We both chuckled at that statement as I finished with my hands. “What weapon are you going to use?” Nesta asked as I shuffled around my bag. I hummed before pulling out a small fan and sheath to keep it in. The fan looked like any other handheld fan except instead of fabric it was made of metal that weren’t fixed, meaning they could move if struck. “This,” I smiled, strapping the fan to the outside of my thigh.

“Just that?” Nesta questioned, I nodded in response. Honestly it was a lie, I had no plans to use the fan, at least not as a weapon. I pulled it for show, it would be decoy used to distract and throw off the boys. The fan wasn’t wholly useless though, I picked up different ways to turn it into a weapon when wielded skillfully. It would be too cocky to walk in there with absolutely nothing and as much as I wanted to, I knew Cass wouldn’t recover from the ego hit he would take if I acted like I knew I could beat him with my bare hands; even if that was the plan. She tilted her head before humming as well, “What exactly did you learn out there?”

I just smiled, “I can show you better than I can tell you.” I winking before turning away from her, facing the ring to show that I was ready. I heard a whoop sound come from my friend as she made her way over to join the rest of the peanut gallery.

Cassian had chosen twin broad swords, something that would look comical in the hands of a human looked normal with the giant fae. Az had nothing in his hands but there were multiple daggers lining his pants, still no shirt. I would make sure he regretted that.

“Alright,” Rhys said bringing attention to himself “no need for idle chatter or pointless speeches, begin!”

And with that I stepped completely into the ring, focus trained on the warriors in front of me as the rest of the world disappeared. I couldn’t stop the dangerous smirk that snuck onto my lips, “Let’s dance.”

A/n: don’t hate me!!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to update. I was waking up at 12 then working from 3-11 and crashing when I got home. I work on a crisis unit so that shit is madddd draining, emotionally and physically. I felt like I had nothing left to put into my writing :/ but I finally switched to 3rd shift and for nearly my entire shift I don’t have to do anything but be there so I can write at work and I have more of my day open to relax and recharge. I’m sorry I had to split this into 3 parts but this just got so long and if I would’ve kept writing it would’ve straight up been a book. But I promise part 3 will not take as long to come out. Maybe not this weekend but soon! Anyways if you made it this far I LOVE YOU, thank you so much for giving me and my stories your time :)

Masterlist

[gojobbg]

Could you please make a yuta x reader one where goes violent over seeing y/n get hurt?? I love your fics😭

1000000000% lets do it

pairing: reader (f) x bf!Yuta (aged up)

synopsis: in which you get hurt in a dangerous mission, and Yuta cannot contain his anger

warning: curse killing, cursing, gore-esque imagery. Additionally, potential spoilers?

setting: pre-Shinjuku and kinda pre-Culling (sorry if this spoils anything as well x)

a/n: this is kinda long, im so sorry! i got really into the idea. thank you anon for the sick prompt, and for enjoying my writing! it warms my heart and makes my days so much better to know that you like my works :)

This wasn't your first mission with higher grade Sorcerers.

For a while now, you've been allowed to join the bandwagon of the higher ranks, learning from them and their style of fighting. This came to fruition after Yuji had not only sent a letter of recommendation, but put in a good word in for you when speaking with Gojo and the council. Despite Gojo's concern, since you recently just became a Grade 2 Sorcerer, he trusted Yuta's word. And he had yet been led astray, considering you graduated with flying colors within all your ranks.

Well, until today.

You joined this mission with Yuta, Maki, and Toge. You never felt worried as you were surrounded by Sorcerers with profound knowledge as fighters, cursed users, and cursed weapon users. But you always pulled your own, ensuring to tackle Curses that were much easier for the other three. But in this comfort left room for your naivety and misjudgment to flourish.

"There's glass all over," Maki murmurs, leading the charge through the dim hallway of the hospital. The entire hospital unfortunately had a code black, in which an active shooter entered and caused many tragedies. To this end, the hospital was entirely evacuated and closed up for further human investigation. "Watch your step."

Yuta was behind you all, with Toge and you at center keeping in eye on the rooms you all were passing. The gruesome scent of dried blood and still bodies shot pangs of nausea to your stomach. As you quietly held your stomach, Toge taps your shoulder and offers you a mint. "Thank you, Inumaki," you hum, immediately chewing the artificial menthol.

As broken lights flickered, and medical supplies were sprawled all over the ground, Maki quickly stops. Looking up at the signs for direction, she lets out a deep sigh, "we're here." You were in the ER wing of the hospital, which was reported to have seen the most deaths. "Prepare yourselves for what you're about to see."

You all nod, with Yuta quickly placing a hand on your shoulder. "You two go on ahead," Yuta hums. "I'll send Rika to scout ahead of you." With those words, the Queen of Curses appeared from behind Yuta, her large intimidating frame taking over everyone's shadows. "Please warn us, Rika."

With that command, Rika takes charge, allowing Maki and Toge to slowly follow behind her. Yuta narrows his eyes to meet yours, a soft smile playing at his lips. His hands slide down to your own, and give them a light squeeze. His hands were so refreshing compared to yours, which were clammy with nerves. "Are you anxious?" He asks curiously. You sheepishly nod. "This isn't like you-- you're never this nervous."

You give him a shrug, "m'not a fan of hospitals, and seeing... dead people."

Yuta straightens his lips and nods, "I'm not a big fan myself, especially considering your role in this mission. It is why I stopped us here to talk about it first."

"Hm?"

"It would appear that there is only one curse, a Grade 1 cursed spirit. For this, the only thing we need you to do is identify the lives lost," Yuta hums quietly. His blue eyes dim and he could feel pangs of guilt from your solemn expression. "I wanted to warn you without making you feel incapable. But I believe in you so much that I know you'll be able to do this."

You look into his eyes, the ones that put you in a trance every time. Those damn dak eyes could get Yuta whatever he wanted out of you, despite your feelings and detest. You give him a reassuring squeeze, "I got it."

Yuta's infectious smile returns, "that's my girl." He cups your face into his hands and parts a peck on your forehead. "Let us handle the spirit, ignore it and focus on your task."

You nod, finding peace once again in his gaze. But the soothing air was quickly stripped when Maki's voice is heard from the other room. "Yuta! Y/N! We found it!"

You two quickly rush over, with you trying to brace yourself for the sight. When entering the ER, you noticed how completely in disarray it was. Dividing curtains broken and on the ground, gurneys scattered all over, 50% hosting dead bodies. You hear your breath shake, but concern quickly waived when Yuta patted your back.

"Look at all of their wristbands," Yuta advises. "It's the easiest way to find the victim's name and date of birth."

You nod, preparing yourself for it all. As you did, Yuta left you to join Maki and Toge. You didn't give it too much of a look, as Yuta insists you ignore it. But you noticed an energy emanating from a gurney that felt purposely centered in the room.

As you rushed through each body, numbing your brain from the lifelessness in the room. You tried to keep focused, despite the grunts, groans, and yelling you were hearing from behind you. Yuta needs me to do this, you think to yourself. Focus!

But your nerves were sporadic as you listened to them slightly struggle. "Maki!" Yuta yells, his katana working overtime as he sliced through the spirits power. Maki was immersed in her combat with the spirit, deflecting all its moves in swift, but struggling manner. She was always a clean fighter-- definitely one of the best in the newer generation of Sorcerers. But, even so...

"Ah--!" Maki uses her staff to deflect injury, but the power that poured from the spirit was too strong for even her to stop. She was pushed to her limits, and flung to a wall, the plaster shaping around her beat body. Cuts were now ornate on her body, with some likely leaving scars.

This was the moment you turned and realized the gravity of the situation. Maki falls to the ground, having enough energy to soften the blow. You quickly begin to rush over to Maki, to which Yuta immediately yells at you to stop. "Don't!" Yuta spat. He begins to take over the battle, the distorted-looking spirit beginning to tango with Yuta. "Stay away-- Maki will be fine!"

You gulp from the nerves as you watched Toge quickly make his way to Maki instead. He picks her up and places her in a corner, allowing her to take a moment to breath. Turning around, Toge waits to meet eyes with Yuta. Yuta, with amazing footwork, manages to put some distance between him and the dangerous entity. When his blue eyes meet with Toge's, he immediately pulls down his collar. "Switch."

The two men quickly vanish before appearing in one anothers places. Your eyes widen when you see Toge, blood running down his mouth, begin to fight with the spirit. You look over to where Maki is, noticing that Yuta was already performing Reverse Technique on her. "Rika, go help Toge!" Yuta commands, with Rika quickly floating over to join Toge's efforts.

You rush over to Yuta and Maki, in which Maki was sat with groans and grunts spilling from her lips. Your heart was racing, the feeling in your legs threatening to escape. "Wh-what... h-how can I help?" Your words are imbued with anxiety.

"Keep yourself safe," Yuta instructs, "don't worry about us-- we'll be fine!" He looks over at the bodies you were previously searching through. "Continue your mission, don't stop!"

You nod, but realized you couldn't when you met eyes with the spirit. The abstract being was completely ornate with bandages, syringes coming out of its 'body.' It had one eye that was able to travel around its body, being able to look at all its surrounding if choosing so. Its eye then noticed Yuta and began to advance towards him, ignoring Toge completely. Toge rushed behind it, but his efforts would be futile as the curse was much faster than him.

"Yuta!" You scream, staying in space with your arms spread. Your technique, which Gojo coins as the Onion Infinity, is a technique in which there are multiple layers between two objects. Of course, your strength is dust in comparison to Gojo's, meaning the layers of shield is only a tactic to give you more time to consider your next move.

The curse is stopped by your technique, but slowly realizes that it can claw its way through it. Yuta notices and looks up at you with immense worry, "Y/N, why didn't you listen to me? I told you to continue what you were doing!"

"It was charging at you-- I didn't have a choice!" You argued, your strength slowly depleting with every layer being broken. While Yuta continued healing Maki and expressing his gripe over your defiance, you begin looking around. You noticed Toge on his knees, struggling with the pain in his throat after using his technique. Rika made her way to the curse, but struggles to stop his unrelenting advances towards you.

"Y/N, move out of the fucking way, now!" Yuta screamed. "You're going to get hurt!"

You move, but not quite where anybody was expecting. You run over to a small wheeled cabinet, ripping out the drawers in search of something. After a sea of bandages and pills, you found a dark green bottle. Your eyes drag on the medicines name and quickly look over at Toge.

"Inumaki-senpai!" You shout, throwing the medicine towards his way. As you hurl it, you didn't realize your barrier had completely been broken, and a sharp pain was met in your stomach. The curse had transformed its arm into a stake, piercing your stomach and through your back. Your spinal bones crack at its force, forcing blood to be coughed out.

Yuta's eyes widened, and he went deaf. Only a piercing ringing could be heard for him, putting an entire halt to his healing. Maki sits up, well enough to get back on her feet but not quite all there. She adjusts her cursed weapon, shaking Yuta's shoulders desperately. She shouts with urgency, but Yuta could not hear her.

He felt his world shatter while your gruesome screams returned his sound. He got up, ignoring Maki's touch and attempts to keep him calm. "Yuta, please!" Maki urges, "we're going to get her out of there right now."

He raises a hand, "stay down, Maki. You should not continue to fight with your injuries."

Maki slams his back, "are you insane? You can't take that thing on your own-- it will kill you!"

"Rika," Yuta hums quietly. Rika nods and quickly creates a gap between him and Maki. She clouds over Maki, keeping her from assisting him. "I'm very sorry to do this, Maki. But you are in no shape to continue this mission."

Maki growls, "Y/N is going to die here if I don't help you!" She looks over at Toge, who was downing the throat medicine you passed him. Her eyes widen at your quick thinking. She looks back at Yuta, "how the hell are you going to--"

Yuta slowly walks over to the curse, who finally ripped out its arm from your body. A string of pained curses leave your lips, your entire body going completely hot in discomfort. You could feel yourself go dizzy, but you still find it in you to begin your own Reverse Technique. Its weak and slow, but you had no other choice. You weren't sure whether you were going to make it out or not.

Without another moment wasted, Toge narrows his eyes on the curse and opens his mouth, "explode!" Although it was not enough to kill the curse, it was enough to damage it. The equivalent of blood splatters from its body, the obsidian-colored liquid finding home on the broken floor.

Yuta drags his katana on the floor, the DNA of the curse sticking onto the cold blade. While continuing his stride, Yuta lifts the blade horizontally and swipes a bit of the blood onto his index finger. As the curse writhes trying to regain itself, Yuta consumes the blood and swallows it down like a pill.

"Rika," Yuta begins with a dark, hollow voice. You look over worriedly, the pain of your stomach preventing you from uttering a word. You had never seen Yuta this... furious before. So angry that he almost appeared desolate, depleted of all life. "Lend me your strength over here."

Rika leaves her post, and rushes behind Yuta. Maki takes this opportunity to run to you, taking you into her lap. "H-hey!" She holds your face in one hand and shakes you, fearful of the way your eyes rolled behind your head on their own. Your body was fighting consciousness as you healed yourself, uncertain if it would work at all.

An unfamiliar, strange feeling pours into all of you, with Toge looking back worriedly at Yuta while making his way to you. You force your eyes to stay focused on Yuta, with your mind frustrated with your sudden inability to speak. Tears finally stream out, and you watch as Yuta's curse energy glow around him like a dark aura. Toge ignores it for now, downing the last bit of the medicine before looking down at you, "heal faster."

Though you yourself were exhausted, Toge's cursed speech shot a wave of energy in you. Your Reverse Technique hastens, your flesh slowly making its way to connect with one another again. As your body was making a promising recovery, Yuta's body was being completely coated with his cursed energy.

Rika's arms transformed themselves into stake-like shapes, mimicking the same ability as the foe before them. "Hold it down for me, Rika," Yuta instructs coolly. Rika quickly creates more stakes with her body, using them to push the curse to the ground, and nail it down with her new, stake-like limbs.

As the curse struggled under Rika, Yuta hovers over it and chuckles. "Does it feel good?" Yuta asks in a hum, watching in attempt to get free. It hissed at Yuta's face. "I figured it didn't. The only thing that's going to hurt more than this, is your death."

You look over worriedly at Yuta as your body was near its full recovery. Maki and Toge held you, as you felt restless in this moment. Yuta was furious, and you could barely even talk to try and calm him down. You could only hold your stomach in pain, and watch as your lover relieves his frustration and regret.

He begins to cut away at the curse, using his weapon to chop away at its limbs. Yuta could only see read, and his arms pulsed with yearn to destroy. The curse would screech with each slice of his katana, earning no remorse from Yuta. His face was cold, his body unreactive to the agony that he was causing. Rika no longer had anything to hold down, and stood back as Yuta was faced with just the head of the curse. The once intimidating eye was now shrunk, looking small under Yuta's undeniable strength. It screeches with what you imagine is begging for mercy, but Yuta was deaf to it.

Not that he couldn't hear, but he could not care.

With one hand in his pocket, the other held up the katana right above the curses eye, giving it a few more moments of life. "Die," Yuta mutters. Without another second more, he drops the katana down onto the curse, killing it, and eradicating it from this world. He returns his weapon to the sheath behind him, color returning to his body and eyes as he makes his way towards you.

He takes you from Maki's hold and holds you tight, "fuck, fuck, fuck-- are you okay, Y/N?"

Maki slaps his forearm, "you're hurting her, Yuta."

He panics, loosening his grip as he frantically searches for calmness in your pained expression, "I..." His voice breaks, defeat clear in his eyes. "Y/N, m'so sorry I let you get hurt... I really fucked up this time." Tears coat his dark blue eyes.

You bring a weak hand up to pat his chest, unable to verbally ease his mind. You only lean into him a little more, your heart calming down from his touch. You were glad it was over, and more glad that you were in Yuta's arms.

Maki manages to stand, helping Toge up as well while Yuta stood up, keeping you carried safely in his arms. His strength, despite his immense output of cursed energy just now, felt boundless now. It was almost like he didn't break a sweat.

Maki pats Toge's back a bit, while Toge coughed out a last bit of blood, "she held her own, though. Her strategy to get Toge back into the fight was very surprising, but wise."

Yuta was indifferent, "she could have died from my carelessness. I shouldn't have let her come to this mission." You begin to pat at his chest in defiance but he wasn't keen on hearing you out. "I almost lost my partner. I'm not interested in putting us in that predicament again."

"If you won't vouch for her, we will," Maki insisted. "She understands the dangers of doing this, and still wants to continue her growth. I'd say she deserves to continue these missions, considering she still wants to do them."

"Salmon," Toge manages to say while nodding his head.

Yuta's eyes drop to yours, trying to find some sort of disagreement. But your eyes held conviction and fight. Despite your pale face and weak body, you still held that vigor that made Yuta fall for you in the first place. He looks down at your stomach realizing that your technique was giving out.

"Lets go back and see Doctor Shoko," Yuta hums. Although you were safe and sound, Yuta's grip and hold on you did not relent. His hands still had a bit of shake to them, and Rika was much closer to Yuta than usual. "I'm glad you're still here," Yuta whispers the moment he watched your eyes flutter shut.

hope this was good ahhh

[brainworms-all-night-long]

A two parter story about Nine not keeping his mouth shut when asked and the result of that, which he didn't bother sticking by and see through, of which Part 1 is at the ready and spans 7,870 words!!!

Also taking this out of the tags and saying the two locations mentioned (the seamstresses and Oakley's) are my friends @erissaacorn's oc ideas that I yoinked for my own nefarious purposes!!

Part 2: Mesure once, cut twice

---

His foot met soft grass that was slightly wet either from morning dew or recent heavy rain, and the portal closed right behind him.

Putting his hand above his face to block out the bright sun, Nine looked around the new universe.

At first, he would've written it off as just yet another Green Hill with the rolling grassy plains and radiant blue sky, but upon closer inspection, there were barely any hills and the grass seemed far too irregular to be that of the ever-present universe he keeps stumbling upon.

Whatever this place was, it turned out he didn't find himself too far away from a village, which, he wasn't sure was all that good news. Dealing with people, and especially strangers, was still far from his favorite activities, but the fox decided to shoot his shot anyway, seeing as there literally wasn't anything for as far as the eye could see but grass and more grass.

"Well hello there new face!"

...Of course.

"It's not too often we get outsider visitors, what brings you here!"

The ever-familiar blue hedgehog stood just ways off next to him with his hand outstretched for a greeting handshake.

Nine figured it was only polite to return the pleasantries, although his attention was immediately grabbed by the clothes this Sonic was wearing and just how young he looked.

The simple, golden crown sitting on his forehead, with a collared baby blue, long-sleeved shirt with wide cuffs adorned by gold and darker blue pants tucked into yellow, knee-high boots sure was something that Nine didn't think in any universe to be the hedgehog's style, especially not for his younger self, but he's seen all manner of things at this point.

"The name's Dream, guardian of the positive apples, nice to meet you."

Alright, color him even more curious in the first five seconds.

"Nine, I am... just passing by."

Nine looked around inconspicuously and found no twin-tailed fox in sight. Strange.

"Oh, well, depending on how long you plan on staying, I could be your tour guide!"

The chipper attitude of this Sonic must've rubbed off on him already as he didn't have it in him to decline, and nodded.

Following after the exited blue spike ball, the casual chatter and ambiance of the settlement almost immediately enveloped him, and he dared to say it almost felt cozy. The houses were made almost fully of wood and frequented dirt paths layered with rocks tied them together.

The inhabitants that noticed him — both human and mobian alike — gave him strange looks, but besides being used to that, the fox decided to chalk it up to looking extremely out of place in a primitive (ahem, simple) place like this.

Sonic on the other hand waved at and greeted almost every other person they came across. This means he must be either really popular, or everyone here knew each other by default given the relatively small size of the village.

The further they went, and the more porches with children picking and throwing grass at each other while laughing they passed, the more... picturesque, it all looked.

Like a drawing he'd find in an old, discarded storybook at the bottom of a dumpster an orphaned little fox would find and read through day and night over and over, wishing he could just go there.

Nine shook his head.

With living in the story book came suspension of disbelief, followed by an ominous, uncanny feeling. It all looked way too happy and clean, but he saved any further judgement for later.

"Here's Oakley's, the carpenters, where he can fix or create anything made out of wood! Though he's been kind of sick lately and the golden apple I gave him doesn't seem to be helping much."

Coming back to the present, Nine noted the second mention of the so-called 'golden apples' after they passed by a large dark brown house with a busy porch.

It was lined with chairs and other pieces of common wooden furniture, with its doors and window frames carved into charming patterns.

He particularly lingered on a cute wooden duck with wheels for feet and a string tied around its neck sitting on one of the tables. Not that he wanted it, but the fact it was most likely carved by hand, so he simply admired the craftsmanship. That, and it was the closest thing in his line of sight anyway.

They passed by a fruit stall next, and the smell of fresh fruit convinced him he felt just a little hungry. Though he learned to be careful with the food items from other universes at this point, after a few unfortunate events.

No matter, his pockets were empty both of any money and any other item he figured could have the same value as an apple to people in here.

"C'mon take one, we can't have our guest going hungry after all!"

Sonic seemed to read his mind though, or it was simply reactive generosity that the fox had no intention of declining. It was just an apple after all. Most likely. Hopefully.

Perfomatively wiping it into his shirt, Nine enjoyed the fruit to its full capacity as he followed the hedgehog around with no end goal in mind.

While in any other universe he'd find backseat shopping the most mind-numbing activity imaginable, he didn't have it in him to be frustrated in the slightest here for some reason.

Sonic dragged him back to the present yet again by pointing at another larger than the rest house.

"And this is the shop of our seamstress. She can tailor you the most beautiful, or if function is more of your thing, durable attire from almost any piece of fabric in no time! Though you can never expect where a conversation with her leads haha."

"Did she tailor your clothes too?" The fox asked mostly because the more he looked at the hedgehog, the more out of place he felt among the average villager here. Everyone was mostly wearing dark brown, beige, or white, simple clothing with aprons and hats, while Sonic looked like he should sit in a castle or a chapel of some sort.

"Not really, no, mine and Night's clothes were given to us by our mother."

"Tch, you look almost like a lost prince." Nine remarked with a smirk while noted yet another unusual mention of Sonic's seemingly biological family. Though the remark was meant as a sort of a pseudo compliment he wasn't sure it sounded like it.

"You think so, haha!"

Sonic ran with it though and didn't seem bothered by his attitude in the slightest. That was always just a matter of time anyway, but Nine decided to turn his attention towards what appeared to be a small bookstall that they stopped in front of now.

Small as in, one shelf of books sorted by... nothing as far as he could pick out, with a tiny mouse girl behind the counter.

Upon hearing Sonic's order she carefully handed him the book from the bottom shelf, instructing him to be careful with it, to which Sonic gave a smug nod yet held the book like it was made of porcelain until he turned back to the fox.

"Alright I think this is actually all I wanted, we can finally return to the tree and I can introduce you to Night too."

Sonic said with a smile and the book safely tucked under his arm.

Fine, so safe to assume that Tails exists in this universe. It's honestly jarring that he hasn't seen the other part of the seemingly inseparable duo no matter the universe yet. If anything he in vain expected the bright yellow fox to jump them a few streets back.

Perhaps he was sick and that's why Sonic went shopping for him?

They were about to continue their way and Nine was looking for a place to throw the leftover of his apple when a group of kids that paid him no mind almost ran him over, giggling. He wanted to curse them out and noted the two red foxes among the four of them, before his attention was dragged just a bit higher.

"Dream! You have not forgotten about the garden, have you?"

A female voice suddenly yelled out, but Nine ignored the mystery woman with all of his attention on the absolute behemoth of a tree sitting atop the hill in front of him.

Literally, how did he not notice that sooner was beyond him, but questioning his peripheral vision aside, he decided to nonchalantly turn his head back to face Sonic and the woman.

Her notably black hair was tied in a high ponytail and she held a set of baskets on her hip. Sonic stood just a ways away from her, looking between the items in his hands, the woman, and Nine, with his startled eyes lingering on the fox.

"Um, this is kind of important, if you could take this up and to Night?"

Sonic sheepishly extended the items forward, and normally Nine would've protested at the sudden turn of events, but decided to wordlessly take the two things from the hedgehog's hands instead.

"Ah, are you sure he doesn't want to go with us?" The woman inquired with an almost sickly sweet demeanor that Nine was immediately not fond of.

He eyed her, but tried to make his distrust not all that noticeable when he declined

"No thank you, I don't really do gardening."

"You sure darling? we could use an extra pair of hands."

"Miss Katheryne come on, no need to drag an unsuspecting passerby into pulling weeds eh. I'm well equipped for that job alone."

Sonic dragged her attention from the fox as he tried to pry one of the two baskets from her grip and Nine let out an internal sigh of relief.

She let the hedgehog take it while the other container fell over to her side and she let out a nervous giggle "Alright alright, well, enjoy your stay little one, you're of course welcome to stop by at any time."

Afterward she wordlessly turned around, with Sonic waving him a temporary goodbye.

Nine kept his eyes on the duo before they disappeared over a corner and were out of sight for good. He decided to not bother dissecting the out of pocket interaction as he made his way up the hill. The grass was quite slippery still, which made it difficult to secure his footing and not fall over every other step.

Quiet noises of both distress and laughter immediately sent him on alert however, and he was willing to sacrifice a bit by speeding up his ascend. Each longer step he took with little help from his mechanical tails saved a few centimeters of the incline and he wasn't all that out of breath by the time he met horizontal ground again.

The picture-perfect facade of this universe fell just as hard as the little fox that was shoved to the ground with a yelp by a young bear, who then mercilessly smoothed the fox's face into the ground, effectively muffling any noise he made afterward.

Nine stood frozen for just a second before not thinking twice and giving into the sudden spark of rage in his chest. Wrapping the string holding the bag together around his hand, he steadily made his way towards the little group.

These were surely the same four kids he saw run up the hill just a while ago, if those two cackling red foxes were anything to go by.

One of them grabbed onto Tails' bangs and forcibly lifted his head back off the ground and snorted, most likely finding the kit's face welled up with tears amusing.

Nine spared only a second for eye contact and using the fact neither of the kids noticed him so far for building some momentum into a swing.

The bear's shoulder was harshly met with a bag of apples — that surely felt more like rocks — as he was knocked off the kit and toppled over the red fox.

His pained grunt was mixed with a surprised gasp from the rest of the group left standing, and that's when Nine remembered he had much more effective tools of offense than one bag of fruit.

His mechanical tails sprawled around him, their tips pointed threateningly in front of each of the kid's faces and they all flinched back.

Nine couldn't help the smirk that made its way onto his face.

Good.

One amongst them, a human boy with dark black hair tried to play tough by yelling out and trying to get into his face. Nine felt in no way intimidated by him however, even if he was taller, as the kid was scrawny and had no real weapons that could hold against his. Nine bared his teeth and posed himself just a bit above the ground, which appropriately made the human, alongside everyone else, reconsider and back away just a bit more.

"Tch, you think we're scared of you?!"

Nine narrowed his stare towards the red fox holding his shoulder. A face he recognized and one that he already made turn tail and run the other way when he was much younger and weaker.

Nine made a bluff strike that aimed at the fox's chest. The runt appropriately jumped back with any confidence he had dissipating and unease taking over his posture.

"Yes."

"You're way over you head, freak."

He heard the human boy lift a rock and throw it his way. It would've been a successful hit to his head had he not effortlessly blocked it with one of his tails. For a second before that he considered catching it in his hand, but decided to rather keep to a reasonable limit of his abilities to avoid getting too drunk on his power high.

"Pot calling the cattle black."

Nine simply stated with a grin as he picked up the rock nonchalantly.

The human gulped as Nine made him his clear target, by all means wanting to return the rock full force back to sender, except at the last second he shot it towards the bear that was already on his way down the hill.

With a yelp, he didn't manage to dodge it and the rock hit his ankle full force.

A fearful face betrayed any bravado the bear might've posed in his statue and Nine's grin only solidified when his ear flicked back.

Apparently, to drive the point further in, and fairly demonstrate the fact he wasn't stupid, he made another bluff strike behind him, spooking the yet uninjured red fox who thought it was a good idea to sneak in a failed surprise attack.

A loose brush with a metal point to his nose seemed to be what finally made the kids decide he wasn't worth it and they promptly ran off the hill while cursing under their breath.

Which left just him, and his lookalike alone under the tree's shade.

The sudden shot of adrenaline slowly dissipated, and he fully reveled in the small catharsis of knowing he was still more than intimidating enough to deal with a pathetic group of bullies like that.

Nine let out a sharp sigh and snapped his mechanical tails back in place, then finally turned towards the person he went up here for in the first place.

Or where he though he would be, but instead found just flattened grass.

The next best place to look was the tree branches above, and sure enough he saw a pair of scared blue eyes looking tearfully back at him.

Nine dropped the bag of apples to the ground unceremoniously and tried handing over the book, basically beckoning the other to come back down.

With all the sudden movement though, Tails all but flinched and retreated further into the tree's crown.

Nine knew that even when the immediate danger was taken care of, his first and then overall impression wasn't exactly friendly, but that was by design.

He sighed.

"I'm not gonna hold my hand out forever. Sonic- Dream sent me to give this to you."

A a bead of silence was followed by a while of rustling leaves and finally a thud sounding from the other side of the tree.

Trained pointy ears peaked from behind the tree trunk and Nine's hand officially gave out.

At long last the other fox showed himself fully and Nine could properly analyze him.

This Tails wore the exact same attire – albeit now dirty from mud and grass – as Sonic. Except the color scheme was purple and brown, with a roughed-up golden cape draped around his shoulders and the simplistic crown smooshing the three strands of fur on his forehead sported a hollow out of a crescent moon.

He went to take the book, but Nine's hand sprung back a little too fast and Tails hesitated.

With a deadpan expression Nine didn't react too much on it and waited until the other finally let his hand fall empty and free.

He figured that he could at least offer the basics of sympathies, although not make it seem like he was high and ready to patch up the kit's, hopefully, only superficial injuries.

"Nothing broken?"

Tails shook his head.

"Good."

Nine then took a few steps back and slumped against the tree, finding a comfortable place between the roots.

At a loss on how to carry this interaction further, Nine crossed his hands over his chest and looked to the village bellow. While at it, he realized he most likely marked himself a future target, if the human kid's familiar features had anything to say but he digressed.

Whatever whiny tantrums they'll throw is at most a future him's problem.

The face of the red fox flashed fore him and Nine to turn back towards the other sitting under the tree.

"How often do you have to deal with those."

Albeit his question might fall on mute mouth since so far this Tails hasn't spoken a word, though Nine hoped it was just the result of stress as he didn't feel like navigating a nonverbal conversation.

Tails merely grabbed the golden cape around himself like a protective blanket while, thankfully, trying to find his voice.

"I-its, um, it's a rare occurrence really I j-just..." He shook his head and slumped back against the bark, seemingly trying to sink into the ground bellow. "Thank you, anyway."

Tails stared at his book that he finally opened in his lap, but it was obvious he wasn't reading, mind stuck on and busy processing other things.

"...It's not often someone bothers with that."

The insecurity in that barely audible whisper apparent, Nine grit his teeth. He had a faint inkling he knew exactly what was going on here.

"Have you tried fighting back?"

Tails fiddled with the corners of a few pages with his eyes downcast before answering "Not really. I'm sure if I did it they would just get meaner, anyway."

Fair point, which for a second made Nine reconsider his immediate and almost absolute suggestion. Fighting back without any means to secure victory and make it stick would cause more harm than good.

Looking back down and around, the view from up here was pretty enchanting to say the least, and the air seemed slightly lighter too.

His attention was soon back to the tree however, and the shimmering specks of fruit hanging from it. It was hard to immediately tell with the sun hitting some of them directly, but they were two different colors.

Nine marked them as the golden apples Sonic kept going on about.

Eventually, his eyes ended up back down, looking at the little fox huddled on the ground. Upon more careful inspection, this Tails also looked really young, maybe around six or five years old, and the notion of that made him frown when counting in his banged-up state.

Ignoring the current bruises and messy fur, there was an obvious scar on the bridge of his snout, what was definitely dried blood under his nose, multiple patches of ripped fur from his otherwise bushy namesakes, and quite heavy eyebags under his eyes.

Nine also noted the kit contradicted himself right in the second sentence he said, but after noticing all that, there was no way Nine's buying the previous scene being a rare occurrence.

Tails is universally bullied most commonly for his namesakes — and that's a fact as he came to find out — but that usually ceases after his pretty much fated meeting with Sonic. Which, doesn't seem to be the case here for whatever reason.

Nine eventually tired of standing in the middle of the hill and sticking out like a sore thumb, so he made his way towards the apple tree and sat one clump of roots over, next to the kit as nonchalantly as possible. Although he made a makeshift chair of his mechanical tails as he didn't really feel like sitting on damp and uneven grass.

Giving it a few seconds to get comfortable, Nine then peered over the wood separating them. The uncharacteristic deviation from the almost universal relationship between the fox and the hedgehog kept nagging his mind.

"Does Dream know about this?"

The tense silence from the other was more than enough of an answer.

"Why don't you tell him, I'm sure he'd be able to do something about it."

The guardian's downcast expression turned sour, with a few creases appearing on the book's pages.

"I don't think so. Everyone loves him, but only because it literally makes them feel good when he's around. And that he has trouble saying no to people when they ask something of him, so they find him useful."

Finally giving up, Tails closed the book and set it aside, then hugged his legs close to his chest and rested his head on his knees.

"I'm sure if he went against them because of me, they would not take kindly to it."

Nine soaked up the words and was actually taken aback by the bluntness, but it seemed that so was Tails himself.

"I'm sorry this is, um. You're not from here, are you? I'd rather not make this one of your problems, I don't think you have to see too deep into it."

Nine realized his expression has gone too soft at that, and took his time to distance himself from the other.

Yeah, yea Tails was correct in fact. There was no reason to care about something that will ultimately be inconsequential to him. A few minutes in, it was obvious this universe was far from ideal place for him to stay, as one, he definitely doesn't feel like raising two orphaned kids in a village so obviously biased, so whatever squabble or interpersonal relationship wasn't his business. And two, there was little to no technology present besides handcarved wooden ducks, which would sooner or later drive him insane.

He let complete apathy wash over him and grabbed the MTC in his hand.

But while he could just get up and leave at any moment...

Looking at the other fox from the corner of his eye, he couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit of sympathy hold him down.

He knows more than anyone how much it would mean if someone stepped in just once before he had to do it himself. And if the technological state of this village was anything to go by, that would prove to be just a bit more trouble for the Tails in here.

"The name's Nine by the way."

The fox's ear flicked towards him, followed by an unsure expression.

"Nightmare."

That sure is... a peculiar name.

"Big brother calls me Night though, which sounds very similar to your name actually." Tails gave a weak smile at that and finally turned his head to face Nine.

"Hmm, yeah it kinda does." There wasn't much that came to mind in terms of an answer to that though, and he let the conversation die right after.

Wait. Oh was this like, a sun and moon type deal. Dream and Nightmare, purple and yellow, golden and black and all that.

Nine playfully rolled his eyes at not getting the very obvious theme sooner.

Though, Idly sitting here made him realize just how exhausted he was from his constant hopping back and forth between all manner of worlds, so he figured there was nothing wrong with taking a little break from all that. Maybe he'll stay overnight and a bit of tomorrow after all.

Or maybe he'll just take a nap right here and now and set out again afterward.

He crossed both his legs and hands while keeping his ears trained for the smallest movement going around.

The purpose of it was defensive, just in case anyone else gets any funny ideas while he appears low on guard, but it leaned in the side effect of making him soak in a stray bird song, undertoned by the rustle of hundreds of leaves under a gentle, albeit slightly chilly breeze that was nicely canceled out by the warm shade the tree provided.

Even if he could never truly afford to relax, this was probably the closest to something like that he'd ever get. That is until he finds a proper home. Hopefully.

"Where are you from though, I never seen anything similar to those metal tails you have."

That threw a wrench in his plans. Although it was rather foolish of him to assume Tails would just, be quiet the whole time, and not wonder about the random stranger that just wandered into his favorite hiding place for all he knows.

"Where I'm from is not important, I'm basically a homeless wanderer at this point." Nine settled on forcing out. And his place of origin really meant nothing to him. If anything he was glad most of his memories of New Yoke were faded and unclear as were that of Shatterverse. He didn't belong to either of those, and so there was no use in remembering them.

"You look really familiar."

"No duh, I have your exact face- don't worry about that too much though." Nine quickly backpedaled, he didn't feel like explaining the concept of the multiverse right now, as he warily stole a glance at the other fox.

"Well, maybe a little less babyish but still."

"No not like that I mean- yea nevermind."

Tails went silent again, seemingly regretting his choice to speak up in the first place.

A small pang of guilt hit Nine when he saw the other shrink into himself again, and he sighed.

"Ok, well then what do you mean?"

It took a second. But the guardian took time to regain the bit of his confidence to speak back up.

"...Those, metal tails of yours, when you were scaring off the other kids a while ago, they made your silhouette look like someone I frequently see in my dreams."

That... was sure something Nine wasn't expecting to hear, but he'd be lying if he said some curiosity wasn't piqued. This universe sure had its way of doing that.

"As in, a prophetic way or..?"

"In a nightmare way, actually." The other stated matter-of-factly, but when Nine creased his brow, he immediately went on defensive

"Don't take it as me being rude or superstitious! I'm really not! It's just, uh, an observation." He then chuckled weakly, most likely hoping to decrease the tension, but Nine was neutral with that notion honestly, not even knowing whether he should think anything of it at all.

He never attributed any deep meanings to dreams, as they were just recreations of his lived experience, which, were far from pleasant. Whatever Nightmare here is going through is the same most likely.

But it made him think, that maybe little him would be proud to have have a silhouette someone would see in their recurring nightmares, a bit.

He placed one of his mechanical tails in his hand and for the first time after a long time, carefully examined them again. Their dull casing was scarred by dents and scratches from their years of active use, with the gear holding this particular segment firmly kept in its place with the neon underglow still active.

For a second he was back in his workshop as a much younger self, grinning like a maniac after he connected the last of the needed pieces together and finally tried out the finished tails (after many failed prototypes) with an immeasurable amount of pride in his chest.

He smiled, reminiscing, until the guardian's small voice shook him from his stupor.

"Anyway, you said Dream send you here?"

He let the tail fall from his hand.

"Pretty much. He wanted to come along but some lady stopped him and dragged him off to clean weeds or something. I don't remember."

"And she just let you go?"

"Begrudgingly, but yea. Why?"

Tails went quiet again, picking at the tips of his namesakes with pursed lips.

"The villagers...they don't really like me."

The fox started slowly with his ears pinned back.

"But they don't want Dream to know that. So some of them will distract him and keep him occupied, while others will- well, I don't know how much you saw but, they're usually a bit more vicious than that."

Tails shook his head and finally uncurled from his position, picking up the book again.

"I was just wondering for how long he'd be away again. If Katheryne took him then it's probably until sunset..."

The way the little guardian spoke made it all the more clear this was not just a repetitive torment from the side of the stupid kids, but a calculated move from the adults as well.

Sudden anger began to bubble in Nine, but he wasn't sure who it was directed at. He'd much rather dismiss it as Tails reading too much into it, but it's him that lives here, not Nine.

Something about that woman's insistence he'd come along before Sonic interjected now justified his negative hunch about her.

The anger must've taken to the surface and Nine lost control of his facial features, as whatever was his face showing alerted the fox next to him.

"But you won't tell him, Right? I- I already said I can't drag him down with me, you can't."

Nine looked at him for a second, for some reason stumped for an answer. The simple decision would be to just say fine, and leave it at that, turn away, and forget about this world just like the others. But that self-evident and most rational decision didn't seem all that appealing based on the very little window he had just seen into this universe.

He'd be a liar if he kept telling himself he didn't care for the kit. Even if it was more of a project-y sort of rage towards the people here he doesn't even know, than sympathy for his situation (for some reason).

Nine internally groaned and forced himself to seal a promise he wasn't 100% sold on keeping.

"I won't say a word."

Tails well, it was hardly a smile he gave once his shoulders finally dropped with the release of tension, and he sunk back to his spot.

The words fizzled out once more.

Sun continued its path through the blue sky unbothered by any event beneath it and ever so slowly dimmed as silent minutes ticked by. Eventually, the leaves were accompanied by the flicker of book pages as Tails finally started reading.

Nine began to thread the line between sleep and consciousness when a sudden yawn ripped through him.

The kit next to him audibly flinched and Nine toppled back into being mostly aware of his surroundings. His nose twitched in annoyance.

"I um, I forgot you were here." Tails laughed nervously. Nine attempted to ignore him however and tried to take the only long term functioning remedy for that yawn.

Tails didn't let him have it as he suddenly hopped up and snatched the bag of apples Nine dropped off not that far away, making it Nine's turn to flinch.

"We, I mean, me and my brother don't really have to eat, but it's nice to just munch on something sometimes. Don't know how it's with you but I assure you apples from here taste amazing!"

Nine took the offered apple from the kit's hands but then simply dropped it into his lap.

"Yea I already had one today, thanks either way."

"We'll then you can keep it for your travels!"

All he gave was a small nod, as uninterested as he could be.

"I'm sorry I keep talking, but, one last question."

Nine fought with himself to not audibly groan.

"Um, just how long will you stay here?"

Instead, he huffed, fully abandoning the idea of the nap.

"Probably the night and I'll set out in the morning."

But he suddenly stopped himself when he realized his tone had just a bit too much of an edge to it, not to mention he hadn't used it consciously. Just sitting here, he felt more frustrated than back in the village with Sonic dragging him around like a dog on an invisible leash.

He side-eyed the kit next to him, but he felt insane for the dots it made him connect, so he brushed it off.

He was really tired is all. And someone constantly had to interrupt his attempts at getting a proper rest.

Tails simply hummed in acknowledgment and returned back into his reading.

Unfortunately, Nine was completely offset now and couldn't put his mind to rest no matter how hard he tried.

Letting out a sigh through his nose he looked up and leaned his head just a bit more roughly, yet intentionally, into the bark of the tree.

That sigh must've been just a decibel too loud when Tails's ears lowered and he began apologizing

"What are these apples about."

Though Nine couldn't care less about listening to pointless "sorries" while transfixed by the peculiar fruit hanging above him.

Tails perked up ever so slightly instead. "Well, without going too deep into the magical-mechanical aspect of them they're like, little fruits containing concentrated either positive or negative emotion, which is marked by their opposing colors. Though a better contrast would've been black and white, but can you imagine white apples?"

The kit was pointing towards the fruit hanging above them as he spoke with that was definitely an attempt to end a part of his spiel humorously, although Nine wouldn't say succeed.

"Their shared existence on one tree holds the balance in the emotions of everyone in this world, as far as I know."

Nine sure wasn't expecting a whole ass sudden info dump, but despite it, he sure had questions. He went to open his mouth, only for Tails to silence and answer his question immediately.

"You're not allowed to take or eat them though, since they're way too powerful and overwhelming for one person to hold and can be only lent for a while with our permission, since I and Dream are the tree's guardians and all that..."

With what great confidence Tails began to speak, slowly fizzled.

Nine let the remark of neither of them exactly doing their jobs die on his tongue, and instead, he decided to indulge the kit next to him, he was the one who started with the questions anyway.

"Can you eat them?"

"Well... we've never really tried. Besides, just holding the apple gives more or less the desired effect anyway. That leads to no one really caring for the negative side of the tree."

Tails trailed off again, deciding that the grass beneath him was super interesting and he needed to rip a few blades of it to closely examine them.

"And I was... born from it. Which is why you're so irritated right now."

Nine raised his eyebrow.

"So you knew...?"

"I can sort of weakly sense the emotions people around me are feeling. So yes. Doesn't help that being next to me only intensifies the negative ones though."

Tails was fully curled on himself at this point, hiding in the golden cape that would actually fit Sonic's vibe way more than Tails' but asking about that would either have the kit shrink even more or let him loose on another info dump.

"You're full of them though, even without my influence."

Nine simply chuckled in agreement at that.

"So with that logic, Dream has the exact opposite effect?"

Tails silently nodded.

"Fascinating."

Even so, Nine didn't mind getting to know more of this apple stuff. It's both an outlandish yet genuinely interesting concept if he says so himself.

Feeling a little less red string on a corkboard, Nine found himself curious still, mulling over random questions while Tails went on and on explaining them.

Their conversation leading to Nine explaining random robotics trivia that Tails followed up with his own limited knowledge and questions went back and forth. It let time flow on quite easy again, until they were interrupted by the sound of someone familiar huffing his way up the hill. With that, Nine was made aware of just how much time has passed when he looked at the dark orange to pinkish sky draped in a low sunset.

Soon enough, a dirt-covered Sonic holding a square bag to his shoulder, with his sleeves rolled up and gloves sticking out of his pant's pockets, greeted them energetically.

"Haha, glad to see you two getting along!"

The foxes waved back to him, and the hedgehog bent over leaning on his knees while struggling to catch his breath.

"Sorry for taking so long, Katheryne can really be a handful sometimes."

Regaining a bit of his strength, he took the two extra steps and stopped in front of Tails. He than brought the bag off his shoulder and immediately dug through it.

Sure enough, it was made clear the bag was a first aid kit — or at least what would be considered that for the times this universe lives in — when Sonic laid out a few bandages and tiny bottles with clear liquids. He covered the opening of one with a piece of clean white cloth while Tails put his hands out in protest.

"Sonic I'm fine don't worry about-"

"Shush no excuses, now show me your nose."

With great reluctance, Tails let the hedgehog hold his muzzle and wipe off the dried blood, before he moved on to the mud still staining the front plain of his face.

"It smells horrible."

Tails scrunched up his nose and physically tried to shake the aggressive scent off him while Sonic carefully rolled up one of his sleeves, revealing a bloodstained bandage that must've been a few days old already.

"I know bud, I know."

Nine watched them silently, unable to fight the sympathy that the fox kept garnering from him at this point.

Huh, if the emotion aura stuff is true it would only make sense the two being near each other would cancel out and make the area neutral.

Either way, the fact Sonic came prepared meant he was aware enough to know Tails keeps getting hurt when he's away, which made the relationship just a bit more confusing again.

"You didn't happen to ruffle each other up while I was gone have you?"

And of course, Nine would be the prime suspect for Tails gathering the new injuries that weren't there in the morning. He was bout to say what happened exactly, when he was hit with Tails' pleading eyes and the promise to keep his mouth shut.

"N-no worries big bro, I just fell off the tree because my cape got stuck in the branches, it's fine." Luckily, Tails seemed to have a mildly convincing excuse at the ready, and Sonic turned his full attention to wrapping the now-cleaned gash in his brother's arm.

"If anything he's super nice, did you know that there can exist machinery so advanced it can be programmed to flawlessly mimic biological beings?"

Sonic froze for a second, unsure of how to reply, while he rolled up the dirty bandage.

"That, huh. That sounds kinda scary actually. Is that a common thing for where you're from?" The guardian asked, turning his head towards Nine.

"Kind of not really? It's mostly just an outstanding feat of engineering that was achieved only a couple of times, so no need to worry."

He couldn't tell either of them who the replicas were based on now, could he?

The hedgehog merely nodded while Tails went on, either to distract himself from the sting in his arm or just because.

"Nine knows so much about machines, and he told me so many cool stories he got from traveling all over the place!"

"Huh, sure would love to go on an adventure like that someday." Sonic mused after carefully placing all of the supplies back into the medical bag.

"Well why don't you?"

Nine asked without hesitation, because if there was one thing he learned at this point, it was that Sonic cannot stay in one place for long. Even if you embed his legs into concrete, he'd either go insane or find a way out.

"We can't go anywhere, since we have to stay near the eyeshot of the tree to not let anyone get any funny ideas." Sonic sighed.

And that seemed to be true here, except the responsibility keeping Sonic tied down was something he couldn't run away from.

"Do you guys like, live here? Under the tree I mean."

"Hmm pretty much. Well in my very humble opinion it's much better than in a closed off hut built somewhere in a ditch."

Sonic threw the bag up and it's straps caught on a nearby branch. He tugged on it to make sure it will not slide down before climbing the tree himslef and stretching his hand out for Tails to grab on.

"It could do with something to keep the rain out though."

Tails commented and followed his brother up into the crown again, where he basically disappeared between the leaves.

"Sleeping on a tree can be hardly comfortable."

"Hah, says the one who sits on cold metal."

Sonic shot back with a finger gun pointed at Nine.

"Thermodynamics. The metal doesn't stay cold for long."

Sonic's attitude dropped a bit at the most likely unknown word to him but he brushed it off, finding the most comfortable branch to sit on, and leaned back on it. Maybe leaned back too much, as he toppled over and hung upside down from the branch like a bat.

"Thermowhatever's when wood is all you're used to sleeping on since birth it is more comfortable than a rigged bed."

"Agree to disagree."

"Mimimi."

Sonic mouthed back, but Nine didn't mind it much, banter with Sonic was fun.

"So you said you'd stay the night?"

Tails' disembodied voice was accompanied by an unnatural rustle of leaves.

"Most likely yea."

Suddenly the world went dark for Nine as suffocating weight was thrown over him. His temporary panic was intercepted by Tails' giggles and Sonic's tone that couldn't contain its humor properly either

"It gets cold at night, and I doubt anyone here would be willing to let a stranger inside their house at this hour. Not to be mean or anything, just safety for safety's sake y'know."

The sudden darkness turned out to be a yellow and navy blanket with sun and moon patterns. Nine assumed it to most likely be tailor made for them by the mentioned seamstress, but that was besides the point. The blanket was indeed a good insulator so it served its purpose.

"Thanks." Nine mumbled and somehow put the blanket over himself in a more comfortable manner. "Why do you go to sleep so early anyway?"

"And who told you we're going to sleep eh." Sonic swung himself back up into a proper sitting position, crossed his legs and rested his chin on his hand. "Again don't take it personally, but we can't leave the tree unsupervised, like, at all. Though I wouldn't mind if we could go on an adventure like you're on." Sonic sounded like someone elbowed him at the end of his sentence.

"So you're just gonna stay up the whole night instead."

"There's two of us for a reason duh."

He's gonna be kept under a night watch, how lovely.

Unfortunately, Nine knew it wouldn't be possible to enter deep sleep when someone's watching him, or is aware of his presence at all. He would of course give it a few minutes maybe an hour or two if he bears it, because he needs some rest at the end of the day, but he'll hardly make it till morning.

Feeling his head lulling to the side he shook himself awake. Opening his eyes, Nine turned towards his MTC with full intent of activating a portal and leaving without a trace, but the image of Tails with terrified eyes welled up in tears surfaced in his mind uninvited.

Nine exhaled with more force than needed.

He looked up, the hedgehog's leg dangled off a branch carelessly meaning that if either of the guardians fell asleep, it was Tails.

With great effort, Nine got up to his feet and flew the extra distance needed to be at eye level with the hedgehog.

He flicked Sonic's nose with full intent of breaking the promise he settled just a few hours back.

"Ow what the-"

Nine quickly covered the hedgehog's mouth and cursed himself for not thinking just one step ahead. Tails has to be unaware until Nine is already on his way, the consequences weren't his to deal with.

Sonic didn't take kindly to the gesture, unsurprisingly, and while mumbling curses, he grabbed the fox's hand in an attempt to shove it away.

Nine didn't budge though "Be quiet and meet me at the bottom of the hill. I just have something to tell you and I'll be out of your guys' fur, I promise."

Nine put as much urgency into his whisper as he could while keeping a finger to his mouth.

Sonic narrowed his eyes and looked over his shoulder at his sleeping brother, before sighing.

"You better not be playing me for a fool buddy."

But Nine was already halfway down the incline, not letting his legs suffer the way they did when going up, he elected to just glide down.

By all accounts the guardian finally caught up to him and exclaimed "Woa you can fly?!" after Nine landed.

The fox's eyes were fully concentrated on his MTC as he fiddled with the coordinates.

"Yes and by all accounts, Night should too."

"Wait what."

"He has two tails doesn't he?"

"Yes but I'm not sure those are exactly build for flying..."

Sonic scratched his head, while Nine was one confirm click from opening a portal.

"Now, I've been asked specifically to not tell you anything, but listen up."

He wasn't sure just how strong Sonic in this world was but if he was worth a damn, he'll do something to save his little brother.

[bonknigirlinthehood]

Leisure Time [1]

Blade x Child!Reader

CW: Reader has Blade’s original hair color (White-ish), the reader’s age was around 5-6 years, and the gender is neutral.

TW: mention of Blade trying to kill you (literally just 5 words).

author's note: I have daddy issues and I'm craving some hsr men as daddies. There will be a part 2 in the future, alongside with a Zhongli-child reader fanfic that someone requested and I kept forgetting to post (I'm sorry t_t). The full picture will be uploaded later!.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_++_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Synopsis: Blade just woke up from his sleep after a long day of mission, and found his child sleeping on the edge of the bed. He thought it’ll be fun to kind of annoy you for a bit.

Rain was pouring hard when blade was awake from his slumber. He looks around the dim room, then his body. It's covered with bandages, with some blood seeping through it.

He sighs and sits, running his hand through his hair as he slowly recalls what has happened the past few hours. He got into a fight, got wounded as usual, and then probably passed out. He sighs again, half frustrated, half annoyed until he realizes something was on the edge of his bed.

You were sleeping on the edge of the bed, a bowl of water was placed near your feet with a towel on it. You sleep peacefully, ignoring the fact that your sleeping position was so uncomfortable. 

Blade hesitantly reaches out to you, caressing your hair out of your face. Feeling calloused fingers touching you, you open your sleepy eyes and look at the man, still rubbing your eyes and trying to focus them.

"Daddy?" You ask, half whispering, then sweeping your body closer to him to take a better look. "A-are you okay?Is your head hurt?" Worried, you tried to stand and check on your father, but he grabbed your hand and put you to sit down on the bed. "I'm okay" he sighs, tracing a circle on your smaller hand. 

You nodded, still feeling a bit groggy from waking up. Blade isn't the one to tell you about what happened during his "work", and you tried to respect his privacy by not asking much, yet it's still hard because as his child, you wanted to be useful to him even for a bit.

After a minute of silence, you try to talk again. "Uh…are you hungry?, I-i can get some food for you…" 

Blade doesn't answer. Instead, he was eyeing you from head to toe, as if checking something until suddenly he brought you into a hug. 

You yelp in surprise, feeling his large, bandaged hand covering your entire back.

When he lets go, there's this unknown expression on his face you can't quite decipher, but somehow he looks…. satisfied?.

'Looks like they treat you well enough'. He hums to himself. You tilt your head in confusion, but he just patted your head, making a mess of the hair that you with great effort trying to make it neat this morning.

"Noooo daddy!!It's hard to do my hair!You'll mess it up!" You whine, trying to take his hand off your head. He stops, but his hand remains on your poor disheveled hair, and no matter how hard you try you don't have enough strength to peel your father's hand from your head.

After a few minutes of trying, you give up and just let Blade rests his hand on top of your head. Through strands of your hair, he can see you puffing your cheeks and pout. He chuckles softly, and while you were surprised at the sound, you can't see it with your own eyes since he is still holding you down.

After feeling content for teasing you, he finally lifts his hand off your head and watches whilst you try to fix your hair. No matter how much he hates that hair color of his, he really can't blame you for being born with it. And the fact you look exactly like him in many aspects is just gut wrenching, it's as if life itself was mocking him.

Blade, now matter how many times has passed, still feels guilty. Whenever he looks at you, something stirred in him wildly–like his stomach being split open and his inside being ravaged. He feels sick to himself whenever he sees you or hears your voice. He feels…. unworthy, after literally the gruesome thing he almost committed towards his own child when you were barely 1 week old.

Blade tried to kill you.

If it weren't for Kafka and other Stellaron Hunters, he probably would feel the worst guilt he would ever feel in his life, and he is actually grateful to them for preventing him from doing so. 

Because amidst all his sorrow, he finds it enjoyable to see you grow up.

Your first crawl, first steps, first tooth, first word…Blade actually has photos and videos of them in his phone. He even had to buy a harddisk to store it because he was running out of space on his phone. When he was out for work, he would watch the video of you from his phone during the break. There's even a video from his other colleagues where they record you and ask to say 'daddy to come back quickly' he hates it when they do that, yet every time he got one of those videos he would save it regardless.

When he got back, most of the time he would be wounded or passed out. And you will always stay with him when he is unconscious, waiting until he wakes up, just like now.

You tried to ask him about his job or his past, but after a few tries, you just stopped asking. Blade feels guilty, but at the same time he thinks it's for the better. It's better if you don't know anything about his past. Thankfully, you don't seem to be too bothered by it, even though sometimes he can see that curious expression on your innocent face.

"Uh…daddy…" you look at him shyly, “A-are you okay?, do you need more ban-bandase-banda..ge..s!” you ended up kind of shouting the last word since you still having a hard time pronouncing things. 

Blade smirked when you tried to babble the word out. It amuses him whenever you try to pronounce a word that is just…complicated for kids. He thought it was cute and he actually has some video recording containing you trying to study pronunciation.

“It’s okay…” He answers, hand back on the side of your head, caressing your cheek and pinching it, causing a yelp from you.

“A-a!, Daddy!It hurts!” Blade retracted his hand, and you touched the reddened cheek with a pout. Your father sighs and picks you up, then kisses the cheek–much to your surprise.

“There, should be better now” 

Your face turned red. Blade was never the one for doing kisses, so his action took you by surprise. You stare at him for a bit while, cheeks a bit flushed. Blade knew you were embarrassed, he actually was too but tried so hard to keep his poker face because it would be even more embarrassing if you see him being flustered.

'Why are you so cute? Your cheeks look like a hot bun. I should take pictures, but it would be too out of character for me to do it in front of the child…WHY'S MY CHILD SO CUTE DEAR AEONS.'

Blade was screaming internally right now. He holds you like a cat right now, and the fact you did not give him any resistance just makes him want to clench his chest tightly because of the cuteness.

After a good minute screaming in his inner heart, Blade suddenly brought your body closer to him and hugged you. You wrapped your arms around his neck in surprise, and just when you are about to shoot him a quizzical face, he pats your back softly, making you yelp a little.

He stops when hearing you yelp, but continues to pats you after a few seconds. 

"Da..Daddy?" You called out to him, Blade only answered with a hum. 

"Uhm…nothing…'' After answering him with that, you lay your head on his shoulder, enjoying the leisure moment between the Stellaron Hunter and his kid. Who knows how long until Kafka will come to this room and drag him away for another mission.

And before you realize, your eyelids flutter shut, your little mind succumbing to the dream land while being hugged by none other than your father.

–

"Bladie~, Elio decided to give you some free time. Why don't you bring your little baby out for a walk?. I heard the shopping district in this planet was quite amazing, i would like to go there myself too"

Kafka blows her drink before drinking it. Right now, the three of Stellaron Hunters were having a little meeting in one of the vacant rooms. Blade just got out of his room 5 minutes ago after putting you to sleep to grab some food. 

"I actually wanted to go there too. Heard there was some nice arcade in one of the shops. Have to try it, y'know" Silverwolf added, eyes glued to her phone, trying to beat a stage. 

Blade munched his sandwich in silence. That's right, he hadn't brought his child for a walk for a little while now…since he forbids anyone to take you out for a shopping or walk without him tagging along, it's been quite some time since the last time he brought you out to buy toys.

"Alright" he finishes his sandwich and drink before standing up, walking back to his room. Kafka only chuckles seeing him. 

"Would you look at that, huh…" she hums.

"I can't believe that's the same guy who tried to kill his baby the first time he saw it" Silverwolf huffed, finally relaxing her body after beating the stage. "That baby gotta have some ancient magic or something to be able to turned that monster into a loving father"

"Heheh~, they say a father is always weak to his child, you know?. Maybe that was just the case" Kafka sips her drink again,

"Maybe his little baby can help him change the way his heart went, after all".

[ashipiko]

RAHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY ‼️‼️ SURPRISE, LOSERRR 🫶🫶

plus a lil bonus,,,,

ASHI’S BIRTHDAY CAMPAIGN! 🌺

…Well, Ashi was supposed to react to Viv’s gift, until a certain somebody came in and stole the spotlight. If led to the birthday girl malfunctioning a little, the second lover’s quarrel of the day, and a desperately needed 5 minutes for them to sort it out. Hopefully the gift giver had no problems with waiting in order to get a proper, deserved reaction.

“ACEY, for the last time, no PDA at the party…!”

“Is that just so you don’t short circuit on me, or is that an actual rule?”

“An actual rule! For my sanity…!”

“Too bad I’m a rule breaker then~”

Sighing upon realizing it would take a little longer than wanted to get out of this trap, Ashi embarrassedly looks over to the one who gave the gift, “A-Anyway! Vivs, gen thank you SO much for this banger of a banger?! This is sick! I look so stinkin’ cute!~ Like, your art is literally off the walls insane.”

“All the artists dropping off these trinkets for me are so talented…” The girl’s iconic sobs visit yet again, “You guys just get the Ashi charm! I’m so cute…!”

(ASHI REACTION UNDER CUT)

viv you cannot just call me a loser AND DROP THIS?????? CUZ HELLO????????? BRO EHAT!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 I WDYYALLY LIKE LOWKEY SCREWMED WHEN THIS FIRST GOT SENT IN THE EFFORT. YOU PUT IN? ASHI’S ARTGIRL CHARM LITERALLY POPPED OFF HERE LIKE ??2?:2!/?. THE POSE IS SO COOL. THE COMPOSIYION ISS O NICE. ITS LIKE SHES JUMPING OUT OF HER NOTEBOOK…… THE LETTERING FOR THE GEOOVY???? WAAAUAGAH. THE COLORS THE EVERTHING THE SPARLLESSSS WHEN I GETCHU VIV. WHEN IGEG YOU!!!! THANK HIU SO MUCB FAM LIKE AXTUALLY

And your ACE HES SO CUTE. HES SO HNDOSME. PUNCHES HIMM!!!!! do not LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT 😭😭🤔😭👊😭🥲😳 IM LOSING MY MIND IT. yeah. I JEED TO SLEEP. IM GOONG INSANE. THANK YOU AAHIN VIVS THIS ACTUALLY MADE ME FO COO COO NUTS INSANE

[freak-accident419]

weren’t we the stars in heaven

Billy (Burn 2019) x GN!Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: After a couple days after the confrontation, Billy finally feels ready again.

Word Count: 2.4k

Content: 18+ MDNI, smut, TW: implication of past SA, fluff, angst, vague descriptions of smut, flashbacks, can be read as a stand-alone, Billy gradually regains his sexuality throughout time, affirmations, lovemaking, cuddling, gender-neutral reader

Disclaimer: I tried my absolute best to approach this topic delicately with respect and sensitivity. My intention is not to romanticize or glamorize this topic, or offend or disrespect anybody, but to tell a story.

“Wanna listen to your hands soothe

Listen to your heart beating

Listen to the way you move”

-

You could easily recall the pensive look on his face when he told you that he wanted to try again. It was practically engraved in your memory, actually; desperation, yet with an underlying expression of fear and reluctance. So then, it all began with obligatory reassurance. You ensured that this was what he really wanted, that this was for himself. That he was ready.

Truthfully, Billy had been grotesquely devoured by his own, devastating guilt, feeling stuck in the stomach of his trauma. He felt so broken, every time you kissed him, every time he had to stop your hands when things got too far for him to handle before he would get another flashback. And yet, he wanted it so badly. He wanted to feel good again, he wanted to feel things so badly, like how everyone else could, like how he was able to in the past, so easily. He missed it. The feeling. The feeling of you. Being able to orgasm. To think, before everything, he was free to feel comfortable in his own body, to take off his pants around you so easily. Broken. That’s what he felt he was. That’s what he thought he was. No matter how much you told him he wasn’t, giving you a small nod and a smile to reassure you, he never really believed it.

The two of you made gradual progression. You made sure to take things slow, at Billy’s pace, tending to all his needs. He even recently pleasured you. Either with his hands or mouth, or even toys, but never once his body. He loved pleasing you. Indubitably, it turned him on, but he just… he couldn’t. He felt envy sometimes, towards you. Towards everyone. He so badly wanted everything to go back to normal. To feel normal again.

It’s not like he changed. There was nothing wrong with him. He wasn’t broken to you, he wasn’t abnormal to you. He was perfect. He was your love, the same person you fell for since the beginning. But that could never get through his head. Not after everything.

So tonight, as he kissed you in his arms, his heart raced as he hesitated to communicate what he wanted. He was just sick of it. Sick of everything, sick of having an incident hold him back from the pleasure he so dearly deserved. And so, he told you he wanted it. That he felt ready.

And it was all so very simple at first. Your lips kissed his trembling ones gently, grazing against his at first until he captured your lips back with the same delicate motion. Your hands cupped his face as the kiss slowly deepened, Billy’s hands grasping onto your waist and helping you up on his lap. Really, Billy was terrified. He didn’t want to make so much progress just to break down again and sob in your neck. It’s not like he could control his emotions and his trauma, but he was absolutely sick of it. He wanted this. He felt he needed this.

“I love you,” you could recall to yourself murmuring to him as your lips left his to leave tender kisses across his face, pressing them against his forehead, his cheeks, and the tip of his nose. “So very much.” You hear him let out an angelic giggle, prompting you to throw your arms around his neck, pressing your foreheads against each other and looking deeply in another’s eyes. You swore you could count each other’s eyelashes and every stroke of color in each of your irises. Your eyes marveled at the detail of his very faint freckles, sprawled playfully across his nose.

You whispered sweet mumbles of reassurance in between each kiss and touch, letting him take the lead however, to grant him the liberating feeling of control. It was easy and pleasing to Billy, this part. You had always kissed him so lovingly, and you had always giggled so much for a reason he still didn’t know. There was a fair amount of theories, of course: you felt giddy, or you felt ticklish, or you just thought that the mere action of kissing was silly. Either way, he loved it, your sweet laughter. It ultimately grounded him, especially after the incident. All his worries in this moment would temporarily dissipate from your euphoric voice.

You let out more sweet, reassuring giggles as you kiss his neck, making him feel giddy. You were going to go at his own pace, so you waited for him, being patient for him and letting him know that you could wait as long as he needed. You never knew exactly what happened to Billy, just small fragments of the memory. You would never know how he truly felt or what he went through, so you wanted to be as sensitive as you could with him. Asking him questions relentlessly and making sure he was okay with everything.

He wanted you to strip down first to feel more comfortable about being naked himself, and so you did. Lifting off your shirt, you cupped his face and smiled at him, telling him how amazed you are by him before taking off your pants. You whisper to Billy that he can take as much time as he needed, and he nodded, looking at you with pure infatuation and love.

You told him that you would still love him most ardently, whether he would go through with this or not.

He finally lifted his shirt off, shivering slightly from the cold air conditioning of the new motel room. You leaned in and kissed his lips softly, and you felt his giddy smile against yours. “You are so beautiful,” you whisper, letting out breathy chuckles after as your eye contact remains. “My good looking boy...”

You kissed him softly on the cheek, then his jawline, trailing down to his neck and hearing him chuckle as you knew how ticklish his throat could get against your mouth. You’d covered his neck in breathy, open-mouthed kisses.

You watched him hesitantly reach for his pants, beginning to unbuckle his belt. Billy felt a pang in his heart and his whole body sort of freeze. Suddenly, the warm lights in the room turned into a fluorescent blue and he could feel his own hands on his belt replaced by hers. To you, he looked deeply uncertain, so your hands cupped his face, rubbing his cheeks with the soft pads of your thumbs. His eyes looked into yours in wonder, and you gave him a sad, yet reassuring smile.

“It’s okay,” you nearly whisper, continuing to stroke his face with your thumbs. “I’m here. It’s just me. It’s just you and me, Billy.”

He nodded with a temporary smile. And you felt your thumbs become slightly wet from the single tears that left each of his eyes. Billy had always been so vulnerable with you. You were the only person he could feel his feelings around. He felt solace in your touch, and he especially felt very small under you. It was you. He’s loved you for years.

“Hey… Look at me. Look at me, baby,” his face was held by your hands as you encouraged him. Billy didn’t feel comfortable to even look down at himself as he would undress. He’d feel too ashamed or afraid. It was clear he wasn’t fully ready for everything yet. You weren’t even sure if he’d let you touch him yourself. But it didn’t matter at all. In this moment, you’d take things as slow as he wants and only do what he feels comfortable with. You were going to work with him through this, every step of the way. “I’m here,” you say. The lights in the room were no longer a bright, buzzing neon blue as your soothing voice pulled him out of his trance.

It definitely took a while for him to finally get his pants off. Unbuttoning his jeans and unzipping them had ended up being a very slow process. His boxers, even longer. But you waited for him, undoubtedly. He requested that the lower half of his body was to be covered by the sheets, however, and you complied lovingly.

You were laying on your sides, the two of you facing each other, giving him the exact control that he needed, the thick sheets covering your lower halves. The lights in the room were a warm, nourishing orange, not too white or blue at all—contrary to the irritatingly fluorescent atmosphere of a convenience store, yet not a completely pitch-dark black either.

“Are you sure you want this?” You whisper silently against his face. The atmosphere was silent. Just the two of you breathing softly, apart from the occasional words. “Because you can back out any time if you feel the need to, just say the word, and we can stop. I love you.”

Billy nods, interrupting each of your thoughts with a deep kiss. “I—I do, I want to do this…” he answered confidently, despite his stutters. “I love you more.”

Your hands were on his face as your lips connected, and you let out a small gasp against his mouth when you finally felt him inside of you. It was that warm, fuzzy feeling that was so familiar to you, something you never thought you’d feel again so soon. And you just remembered how much you missed it.

Billy let out a deep, breathy inhale as he entered you, gazing into your eyes to remind himself that he was just with you. That he was safe. And you felt so good around him, so warm, and just… god, so safe.

His hand went towards the back of your neck, and he could feel your racing pulse against his thumb. Even if it was technically yours, it wistfully reminded him that he was alive and breathing.

You felt his coarse, yet gentle hand move down to your thigh, slightly grasping it to move it on top of his for a better angle. The calloused pads of his fingertips tickled your skin as his hand finally moved your leg, wrapping it around his hips to bring you closer. It reminded him so much of your times together before, the simplicity and easiness of chasing pleasure without fear or pain. He was with you, how he’d always been before.

You giggled joyously, kissing his lips so lovingly, and you could feel the blissful grin on them against yours. His hips moved slowly as he thrusted inside of you gently, and it was a satisfying feeling, pleasured sighs leaving your mouth. Before, Billy had been pleasuring you in other ways for the time being, but nothing could beat the feeling of him being completely inside you, filling you up entirely. You missed it indefinitely.

As your lips parted, you saw him smiling, sniffling slightly, accompanied by glassy eyes. You brought your thumbs to the corners of his eyes and wiped away any tears.

Billy nearly laughed them off. “I’m—I’m just,” he sighs, chuckling. “I just missed you. The feeling of you. And just… feeling good like this again.”

You kiss him once again and nuzzle his neck, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder. “You’re doing so amazing, baby…” Your breath quickens as the feelings begin to become more intense. “So good… So proud of you, my love…”

Your arm wrapped around his back, holding him into your embrace as he continued with his slow, easy thrusts. Your hand rubbed his back soothingly, and the two of you gasped with every rush of pleasure. You tightly shut your eyes and began to moan louder as Billy’s pace slowly increased. His grip on your thigh tightened as he grasped it firmly yet lovingly, making it easy for him to move you against him. Soon, your hand found his, and your fingers interlocked very sensually, holding each other’s hands as he made love to you.

Billy wanted to straight up sob. He wanted to start screaming and crying, to let all of his feelings out. It felt so good, you felt so good. He missed this feeling so much and he never thought he would feel it ever again. You were so gentle with him, so sweet with him, your burning love for him nearly melting his heart and entire being.

The night proceeded promptly. Soft, yet loud cries of pleasure escaped both of your lips as you came together, Billy ensuring that he released deep inside of you. He felt incredibly ecstatic, so enraptured by the feeling of his orgasm and yours. He did it. He finally came. From what had been a lost, impeccable enigma that was taken from him, violently pulled right out of his trembling hands, had become something he could reach once again. He was amazed. He did it.

Billy stayed inside of you for a while as the atmosphere became silent, consisting only of your heavy breaths until he would finally pull out of you, leaving you to feel empty once again. He felt very safe inside of you, which was why he was so reluctant to pull out. The warmth and embrace of your body ultimately comforted him.

You kissed Billy deeply, spilling all your love and pride in it, making sure he knew how happy you were for him. “You did so well, my love,” you whisper, cupping his face. “I’m so proud of you.”

He held you closer to his body, embracing you warmly as you bury your face in his neck. “Thank you, baby,” he whispers tiredly. The lovemaking took most of his energy, especially as it had taken longer for him to actually cum, so he immediately felt a warm wave of sleepiness. But the next few hours would probably be the best sleep he’s ever had in a long time.

“Anything for you, my love,” you reply in a low murmur, pressing a short kiss to his neck. “You deserve to feel good. You deserve so much. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he softly mumbles in your hair.

It wasn’t going to be any easier from now on just because of this recent progression. Sure, he made a big step in getting his sexuality back and healing from the incident, but it wasn’t like he immediately recovered from everything. He’d still have to take things at his own, slow pace and there was no guarantee that he would even make more progress after tonight. Ultimately, however, it didn’t matter. You were always going to wait for him. You were always going to be patient with him. Because you truly loved him. More than anything in the world.

-

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Resources

[luvrxbunny]

rough

pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

summary: You're confronted with the town's opinions.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, smoking (weed), lots of feelings, (lmk if i forgot anything)

wc: 2.6k

a/n: if you've read my fic 'soft' then you've read this already

|| pt.1 || pt.2 || pt.3 || pt.4 ||

You just want to fuck him already. It’s been months now, of this back and forth. To be clear, you do still want him romantically, how could you not? This man, when his hair is fluffy and soft just like him. When you see his expression now light up when you walk into the room. When he builds you little trinkets in the shop, instead of doing the job he was assigned to. When he makes your favorite for dinner after finding out that you’re having a bad day. When he plans movie nights featuring your favorites that he could find on DVD. 

How could you not love him?

It scares you. The “situation-ship” you both were currently in started a few months ago. Actually… It started exactly four months and three weeks ago. There’s no point in pretending you haven’t kept track. Joel told you that he needed time. You would have never expected it to be this much time but you’ve grown to love and crave him over the months.

He listened to what you said at the bar that night. He’s been giving you so much affection it’s actually making the other women in the community quite jealous of you. He hasn’t kissed you yet but he kisses your cheek, your forehead, and- when he’s drunk or high enough- your neck. You don’t kiss him anymore. You’ve kissed his cheek a few times over the months, his head once when he was sick but other than that you try to keep to yourself. You’re still a bit traumatized from his first rejection, the way it played out, and everything. You’d rather just not risk it.  

You’re in the garden and he’s in the field. You’re planting flowers, pulling and re-planting vegetables while Joel is harvesting the wheat he planted four months ago and tilling the land for the new seeds. You keep looking over at him, you really can’t help it at this point. 

The sun is shining through his hair, making it a dark golden color with streaks of white running through it. His arms are smudged from handling the dirt all day and his biceps flex repeatedly as he picks the kernels off of the wheat and throws them into his basket. His eyebrows are creased and his eyes squinted to avoid the burning light of the sun and he keeps looking over at you. He really can’t help it at this point. 

You look so beautiful, sitting on your knees with your adorably mismatched gardening gloves. Your hair falls so angelically every time you lean forward to lead a new plant to its home. Every time you sit back up you use the back of your wrist to shove the hair from your face, sputtering out, trying to get your hair out of your mouth and it's so endearing. Your arms are dirty and he feels the incredibly odd urge to bathe you. He’s ready to love you. He’s so fucking ready but he has no clue- not even the slightest- as to how he should tell you. 

The current supervisor calls it a day and you almost fall face-first into the plants in your scramble to get to Joel. He’s taking off his gloves, flexing and stretching his fingers when he sees you rushing toward him with a huge smile he can’t help but mirror. “Hey, darlin’. You look so beautiful today.”

You freeze where you stand which luckily isn’t too far from Joel. He makes his way over to you, watching your expression. He loves it so much, he doesn’t understand how he never noticed it before. The way you always take a deep, shaking breath, your eyebrows go inward and you give him this look. He doesn’t understand it yet but it always makes him ache for you, makes him burn somewhere in the depths of his being to just be with you. He doesn’t know how long he can resist it. He doesn't want to. He doesn’t.

“I’m- I think I really- I just really wanna kiss you.” You snap out of your daze and your eyes focus on him, hopeful for a moment then a little dull. You turn your head, give him your cheek, close your eyes, and wait for the gentle kiss but nothing happens. You slowly open your eyes and look at him, he looks scared. “I wanna kiss you.”

You can hear your heart speed up, your breaths getting shorter and your thoughts more jumbled. He wants to kiss me? You’re confused for a moment, not understanding what brought this on. You’re eyes slip from his contact as you lose yourself in your thoughts, not realizing the silence you’re creating or the anxiety you’re causing. But Joel realizes, he’s sweating more than he has all day as he waits for you to say something, do something. He shifts his weight from foot to foot before giving up. “We don’t have to… I just- I wanted to…” He tries and fails to keep the sadness out of his voice.

His words strike fear in you and you reach out to grip his arm, hoping it’s enough to stop him from walking away. “Y-You wanna kiss me? On the… on the lips?” He’s surprised by your voice, it sounds far away, loose, and airy.

“I do.” It comes out with no hesitation, no stutters, no pause. You take a step closer to him and his expression twitches, his chest beginning to heave with anticipation. 

“I would really love that, Joel.” You’re staring up at him now, as best you can in the sun. You’re looking into his eyes, an excited, mischievous glint in your eyes, challenging him, daring him to do something. And he loses his nerve. 

“Oh! Okay. Thats… Thats good. I- I want you to come over later, alright? I’ll get us some weed and alc. You don’t need to bring snacks or nothin’ either jus- jus bring yourself, alright? Okay, see you then.” And with that, he walked off. His cheeks were absolutely burning. He couldn’t believe himself 

‘That's good’? What the fuck is wrong with you, Miller? Leaving that darlin’ girl standing in the sun like that? It just ain’t right, she’s so sweet on you and you fuckin’ know it. Why am I doin’ this to her… 

You’re watching Joel walk away. A bit stunned by the whole interaction, confusion, and questions swarm your head the whole walk home. They stick with you in the shower and as you get ready to head over to Joel’s. They accompany you on the whole walkover as well.

Maybe he wants me to do something… I know people like it rough, so maybe he wants me to take charge? He doesn’t really seem the type. Does this mean he wants me now? Will he kiss me tonight? Is that why he invited me over? Are we gonna have sex? Oh god, I hope so. I’d treat him so well- or maybe I wouldn’t… everyone likes it rough. 

You’ve reached his block when you’re stopped by Susan; Joel’s biggest admirer. She places herself in front of you, blocking your path and forcing you to talk to her.  “Oh, he’s not in, hun.”

You take a calming breath and try not to roll your eyes at her. “Okay… Well, I’m gonna check, just in case.” You turn your steps and try to make your way around her only for her to place herself right back in your way. 

“I’m gonna be honest I- I don’ really get this whole thing with you an’ him. I just- I guess I don’ really see it… Do ya’ know what I mean?” You glare at her, ignoring her statement and waiting for her to just get out of your way. “I mean…” She steps closer to you. “I remember when you first got here…” 

You can feel shame and embarrassment curl in your stomach at the mention of your arrival. You weren’t in the best place, mentally, and you did a lot- a lot- of things that you wished you hadn’t, lots of men you wished you hadn’t. “Don’t be an ass, Susan.” She backs away from you, a sinister smile on her face and her hands in the air. 

“Hey! I’m” She laughs. “I’m jus sayin’... You were interested in a lot of different men.” You start walking, refusing to listen to what she has to say. But the psycho bitch follows you. “I mean are you even sure that it’s him that you want? Weren’t you with Jared just a few months ago? I mean…” 

You’re speed-walking to Joel’s now. You’re only a house away when she hops in front of you again. “Hun! I told you he ain’t home! I’m just-” She sighs and lowers her head as you crane your neck, hoping and praying Joel had made his way to the porch by now. But he hasn’t. “If you just want a man I can set you up with some of my friends! Some people who are… Gosh! How do I say this without bein’ rude? Some people who are more in your… lane… league?” Your head whips back at her, fury raging in your eyes at her audacity. 

“Excuse me?” You question, low and threatening. “Well. Hun, c’mon now, don’t get all bent outta shape, I mean well! You and I both know Joel is too… hmm, well. He’s too good for you I guess.” You’re not staring at her, you’ve turned your head to the patch of sky you can see through the trees beside you, choosing to count the stars instead of listening to this shit. 

“I’d strongly disagree.” You can hear her gasp and spin around as a smile spreads over your face. Joel. 

“Oh! I- I thought you weren’t home, sugar.” She tries to lean into him but he walks around her and grabs your arm, pulling you past her with a mumble of ‘Yeah. I know.’, ending the conversation. 

Joel doesn’t speak until he’s gotten you inside. “I dunno why you listen to that woman. She spews nothin’ but garbage.” You watch him dart from cupboard to cupboard to retrieve his lighter and a little joint you can tell he rolled because it’s dented in the middle. “She’s always saying some dumb shit. I fuckin’ hate it.” 

His eyebrows are furrowed and his face is hard as he lights it up. You can’t remember the last time you’ve seen him so angry. You watch the tension fall from his shoulders, his face relaxing as he inhales. You take your shoes off, still watching him as a small smile spreads over his face and he exhales. “Are you gonna share Joel?” You ask as he goes in for another hit. 

“Hey-  Be nice darlin’ it’s mine after all.” He teases while handing it to you. You push yourself up onto the counter, sitting next to where he’s leaning as you take a drag. 

“Yours schmours, you’ll be fine.” He giggles- giggles- at your statement, his hand coming up to cover his smile as he laughs. All you can see are his pretty brown eyes, the creases around them, and the way they almost shut while he laughs. You feel your heart race, bringing along that urge that has gotten you in trouble many times over. Your eyes flicker to his lips and you immediately avert your gaze, taking another hit to try and calm yourself. 

You wait for him to come back up from his designated, folded, laughing position and hold the joint out for him. You snort at the misshapen stick, causing you to choke on the smoke you were holding. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s what you get for laughing. Mhm.” You’re coughing up a lung as he says this, making the situation worse because you cannot stop laughing at him. He continues his remarks after taking a hit, you’re still choking and laughing, and you hold an arm out to him. 

“Joel-” You cough. “Joel-” You laugh. “Joel, stop it. I’m- oh fuck.” You start coughing again in a way that has Joel turning to face you, amusement and a bit of concern on his face. “Oh my god, stop. I’m gonna die, don’t make me laugh- oh my god.” 

He’s beaming at you, proud that you find him so funny and the high really hitting him. You can tell, his eyes are a bit hazy and his eyebrows are raised for some reason. He walks towards you when your fit dies down, pushing himself between your legs with a dazed look on his face. He’s just staring at your thighs for a moment, his head turning from left to right so he can look at both of them before looking up at you. Your heart is thrumming out of your chest as you try to keep your expression neutral, maybe a bit inquisitive. He stares at your lips for a bit before you see his hand raising with the joint. He brings it to your lips and looks back up at your eyes, his eyebrows jump, prompting you to inhale. 

You take a long hit, trying to get as much smoke as you can, hoping it will calm you down. His eyes stay on yours, darkening as his breathing becomes a bit shallow. He pulls the joint away from your lips and puts it out right onto the counter before bringing his hand up to your cheek. 

You haven’t exhaled yet, savoring the hit while he slowly brings your face to his. You’re watching his eyes, still on yours as he pulls you in. You begin to exhale, not wanting to hold the smoke in if he’s going to kiss you. That’s when he pushes your lips together. You try not to choke as he sucks the smoke out of your mouth and pulls away. You’re in a stupor as he grins at you and breathes your smoke out, re-lighting the fire in the pit of your stomach, the one that always seems to flare whenever he’s around.

“What’d ya think of that, huh? Good kiss or?” He’s wearing a smirk but his eyes are uncertain at your silence. You keep it up, not saying anything, just pulling him back in and smashing your lips into his. He accepts your kiss with a grunt from the force of it as his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in. 

You’re gripping his hair like it's your lifeline, gripping his face like it’ll fall apart otherwise, it hurts a little but he’s fond of your eagerness. Your hands slide onto his shoulders and you dig your fingers into his skin brutally, pulling a wince from him. He separates your lips and strokes over your cheek with his thumb, admiring you. It's a soft, tender moment until you yank him by his belt loops, crashing him against the counter painfully to whisper in his ear. “I want you, Joel”

He smiles at this and kisses you again as you undo his belt. You remove it from the loops and let it drop to the ground so you can get to work on his button and zipper. You feel his lips stutter against yours and he pulls away, confused. “Not- not here, darlin’. ‘M not gonna do this in the kitchen.” He sounds a bit confused as he grips your hips and lifts you off of the counter and back onto the floor. They come back up to cradle your face again as he places a quick, soft kiss on your lips. “ ‘M gonna make love to you in my room, on my bed, baby.”

Make love...?

What?

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist! or send me some motivation here!

🏷️ : @hiroikegawa

[queserasora]

SANJI X READER | FEM! READER, NSFW, SHE/HER, WORD COUNT: 2.3k CW:  oral male giving female receiving, fingering, squirting A BADLY WRITTEN SUMMARY: Part 2 of Mango Juice… The one where Sanji is true to his promise and visits Y/N’s room at night when she’s thirsty…

PART ONE

He was a man of his word.

He didn’t forget the alluded promise he spoke to you earlier that day, when the heat was sweltering and he could still taste you on his tongue. You had lingered on his senses, like sun poisoning; skin prickly hot, head in the clouds, thirst insatiable.

Sanji was sick, and you were both the illness and the cure.

Luffy had remained in his orbit throughout the day, chattering away about the damn mango juice. It had taken all of his pathetic excuse for patience just to keep from snapping. No, there was no actual mango juice–at least not for him, and no–he would not go out and buy more mangos. After all, Nami had taken care of stocking up the pantry for him.

It would be rude of him; downright disrespectful, plus he had no intentions of letting Nami catch wind of his afternoon shenanigans for multiple reasons. His business with you was your business, nobody else’s. Secondly, he couldn’t bear to see the smirk on Nami’s face should she find out. It wouldn’t be long before everyone else would know once Nami had enough information.

Sanji was not embarrassed, per se, but he didn’t know what your flirtatious moments even meant aside from an attempt at stealing his senses, his pride, his honor. 

Doubt stiffened his muscles as he cleaned up the kitchen close to midnight. He was thankful for the quiet now that everyone had gone off to bed, which allowed him a moment to his thoughts; something that was both agony and ecstasy. 

He could see your glistening skin behind his eyelids, and smell the scent of cocoa in his nostrils. In a daze, he found the secret mangoes he had stashed away. The juice was almost overflowing in the glass as he knocked on your door, careful not to spill a single drop.

“My dear,” he loudly whispered, shoulder against your bedroom door. “I don’t suppose you’re still thirsty?”

He hears movement behind the door then silence.

You are contemplating your life choices as you hurriedly throw items off your mattress, stashing them under your bed, out of view. You kick an abandoned towel into a corner, move a large Monstera plant enough for the pot to cover a pile of wrappers you keep meaning to get rid of.

The truth was, you were hoping Sanji didn’t show up. It was one thing to tease him, to pass him by in tight spaces and relish in the power you  had over him. It was another different matter to have him at the threshold of your bedroom, intentions evident in the fire behind his eyes.

You hadn’t seen his eyes yet, but you could only imagine.

Your heart picks up, as you brush possible imaginary crumbs off your bedsheets, fluff your curls–at least three times–and push up your breasts.

“I’ll be right there!” you call out, another loud whisper. You didn’t want to wake the others. That would be terribly inconvenient. He is standing with a glass of juice in his hand when you open the door. Your cheeks color, remembering his words–and everything before them.

Pink lips stretch into a small smile as he greets you; almost shy. You chew on the inside of your cheek, fingers wiggling at the realization. He was just too cute for words sometimes. It’s why you enjoyed teasing him so much.

“Come in,” you tell him, backing into the room. As he walks past you, you spot a rogue sock, and you lift it with your toes and flick it under the bed in one swift move. Sanji seems to stop in front of the potted plant, and you start to panic. You’re stammering, trying to find a topic of conversation to distract him from what’s hiding behind it.

“You’re into plants?” he asks you, turning to offer the glass of juice to you. You grasp the glass a little too desperately, practically snatching it from him. Juice spills from the glass, sloshing around your hand. You think nothing of it as you bring the top of your hand for a quick cleanup with your tongue.

“Not really,” you say, licking your lips now. The mango was tart, with a small hint of sweetness. It was perfect. “It was a gift from Robin.” Robin liked to give you things–little trinkets, and she’d always accompany them with a long monologue of information you quickly struggled to retain.

You look up from your hand, now sticky from juice to catch Sanji’s eyes on you. His stare is almost unblinking. It unnerves you, but you’re determined to fake your bravery. After all, it was part of your persona. Appearances were important, Nami would say, it makes or breaks a lady.

Or a con artist. It depended on what your beliefs were.

Sanji wholeheartedly believed that you were a good girl. Sure, you adored nothing more than to press your chest against his back at the most inconvenient times, and perhaps your hands had a mind of their own while others were present–but you had a good heart. That’s what mattered. It was what mattered to him.

So, this decision of being in your room, with the intent to follow through on a loaded promise was starting to wear on his conscience. Was what he was doing gentlemanly? A promise was a promise. You had welcomed him into your bedroom, without needed explanations. Surely, that meant you expected him to keep it?

It would be ungentlemanly of him to disappoint you. Wouldn’t it? 

He breathes out through his nose, a heavy sigh. It wasn’t like he could hold back anymore, even if he wanted to. At the sight of your tongue lapping at the spilled juice he had felt himself stiffen, a growing awkwardness in his pants.

Sanji wanted nothing more than to devour your mouth with his, taste the fruit juice off your tongue but you were not done; glass half empty or half full. He hadn’t decided yet.

“You can change your mind,” he says, a hand gently gesturing towards you. You detect a hint of nerves in his voice, and your eyes find his crotch. You watch with a growing heat at the bottom of your belly over your glass. Your vision was not perfect, but it worked well enough to notice the bump under the cloth.

“No, thank you,” you hear yourself saying, and you wonder if that version of yourself knows no shame? The answer should have been evident, but you liked to play the oblivious fool. It made life easier. 

He watches you tilt your head back and chug the rest of the juice. It was a sight he had seen before when you’d challenge Zoro. It always ended the same way: both of you drunk out of your minds, taking turns picking on him.

The memories are enough to color his cheeks, and he takes the glass from your hands, eager to push past them. 

“Don’t be in a hurry, Sanji,” you tell him, wearing a crooked grin. Your voice is light, teasing, but your hands are clammy and sweaty. You wipe them on the back of  your pajama shorts.  “It’s not like I’m going anywhere. ”

He grunt as a response, trying to find a spot where to lay down your glass. He picks the nightstand; just as well, it was closest to you. 

“Come here,” he says softly, standing by your bed. You move towards him, anticipation causing little tremors all over your body. His hands are warm on the small of your back as he pulls you close. “Let’s finish what we started.”

It starts with a light kiss; mouths brushing against each other as a test. He wants to take his time, rushing is so not like him but your plush mouth is soft against his. Your bottom lip beckons him, so he follows it to the abyss, taking it in his mouth for a slow suck. His hands move across your body, taking in the softness of your skin underneath your camisole. 

What was a gentle exploration of mouth, and body, soon becomes heated. His hands grip your ass as he moans into your mouth, hungrily seeking out your tongue. The smell of mango lingers on his mouth, in your breath that consumes what little is left of his senses. It feels like delirium, the way he cannot stop himself from exploring your mouth further, the way he bites at your lips with abandon.

You gasp when one particular bite becomes painful, your nails digging into his bicep. It does little to stop him–it just deviates his course. He moves to your neck, where his teeth continue a streamlined assault. He comes up for air to admire the pink-purple marks on your skin.

“My sweet, I’m sorry,” he mumbles against your skin, hands in your hair, lips gently brushing against your marred neck. “I guess I’m not myself right now.”

You don’t have time to question him further. He picks you up, and tosses you on the bed. You yelp as you bounce on the mattress. Your hands go out to stop him–to question him, but Sanji is on top of you, slipping his fingers under the elastic of your sleeping shorts.

“Wait,” you breathe out, but he does not. He slips them down in one swift move, helps you loop them off your ankles. His mouth is on your belly, dragging his teeth across your skin. “Are you listening?”

He looks up at you through his lashes, lids heavy with lust. His tongue drags along the elastic. You feel his hands move up your thighs. He pushes them apart, angling his shoulders so that he can fit between you–keep you spread open.

You think about being embarrassed and remember yourself. You’re supposed to be in control. This is Sanji Vinsmoke. He was at your mercy, not the other way around. At least, that was the usual way of things.

Your fingers find tufts of blond hair. You pull roughly, only feeling a tiny bit of guilt at the sound of his pained cry.

“Beautiful,” he says, his thumbs massaging circles on the inside of your thighs. “This is not necessary.” He lets go of one thigh to reach up for your wrist. His long fingers wrap around it, and he pulls at it gently. “I just want to taste you. That’s all.” You have no idea why, but you are compelled to let go. 

Trembling thighs threaten to reveal your secrets. You stare at the ceiling for a moment, and close your eyes at the feel of his hot open mouth over the fabric of your panties. His breath is hot against your cunt as you feel him panting, tasting you over the barrier.  You can feel his shoulder shake, so you urge him on, one hand on the back of his head, hips rolling against his tongue.

The panties are a nuisance. He considers tearing them apart but it seems unhinged, unreasonable, so unlike him so he frowns instead, and pulls them down despite the painful erection in his pants demanding quicker action.

You whimper as he softly pushes your legs apart. He spreads you wide–enough to have a good look. His gaze lingers on your puffy cunt, already sticky wet. He looks for a long time without touching you, enough to make you feel embarrassed. You feel your cheeks color, a shudder runs its course.

“What are you doing?” You ask in a whispered hiss, craning your neck to look.

He looks up at you, eyes wide, mouth parted. “You’re so beautiful,” he tells you, as he moves forward. Sanji licks his lips. “Did you know that?”

Your back arches when he finally kisses your center. A moan, barely contained, rumbles in your chest. His tongue is wet, soft against your folds. The heat of his mouth forces you to gasp as he hums while he sucks. His eyes are closed but he looks content, as if there was nothing else he’d rather eat than the salty sweetness of your pussy.

There was nothing else he desired in all of the seas right now, except to taste every last drop from your dripping pussy. His fingers almost seemed like a disturbance as he pushed two inside of you. He frowns at them, even as he moves them in and out of you–letting his pace be dictated by your whines. Your hips move on their own, and he pushes a shoulder against one, trying to keep you near.

You are slick around his fingers, hot and mesmerizing. Your swollen nub feels the best when he curls his tongue around it, when you arch your back and cry out his name.

The way his name rolls off your tongue; it is almost as delicious as the taste of your cunt, juicy and sweet. He was a connoisseur, a man of refined taste. At every island he made sure to taste new fruit, new combinations, but nothing could beat the taste of mango, and you all at once.

His fingers pick up the space, scissoring inside you. He feels blinded by your sweetness. He would think himself deaf as the world dissolves around him, if your moans weren’t the ones grounding him to you. A fiery coil twists inside you, threatening to obliterate everything in its past. You cry out, fingers scratching his scalp as you desperately grab at whatever you can.

Your hips move faster, trying to keep up with him–his greedy fingers and even greedier tongue rubbing merciless circles against your clit. Your body tenses up as you feel your orgasm take over. A flash of white clouds your vision, your voice sounds other–a disembodied voice, as you gush on his face. 

You can’t even be embarrassed as your body jerks; the after effects of your orgasm. Sanji stills between your legs, his face covered in your cum, slickness dripping off his chin. He blinks a few times, removes his fingers from your vagina. You watch him as he sits up, looking down amazed at his soaked fingers. He brings them up, licks the back of them, swirls his tongue around them.

“How soon can you do that again?” he asks you, his fingers still in his mouth. “I didn’t get a good taste the first time around.”

[milaisreading]

Can you please add the cross dresser a chapter where the reader suddenly goes missing but is actually excused by SAE and went on a day vacation??? Sorry my English is kinda bad, but please make this pleaseeeee

🩷🌱: Hope u find this ok! I have been sick the past few days, so I hope this all makes sense. I wrote it while fighting sleep and fever😅 thanks for the request and reading 🫶🏻

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open. Also I made up the names of Barou's sisters!

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Rin woke up finding the room he shared with #2, (Y/n), oddly silent. Blinked the sleep away and started rubbing his eyes, frowning in the process.

'Where is he? Usually he is the first one awake and in the bathroom... Is it possible that (Y/n) of all people overslept?' Rin thought as he looked across the room, where her bed was. Still not noticing an issue, Rin got up and walked over to where the captain's bed was.

"Get up, idiot. We will have to train soon-" Rin stopped himself as he laid his hand down, expecting to grab (Y/n)'s shoulder, but instead grabbed the mattress.

"Huh?" Rin raised an eyebrow and removed the covers, only to find the bed completely empty!

"What the?! Where did he go?!" The younger Itoshi looked at the digital clock, thinking that he was the one who overslept.

'It's not even 7 yet... and besides, he would wake me up if I was late.' Rin thought, sitting down om the bed, trying to think where (Y/n) could be.

'Hmmm...' He thought for a moment, his eyes slowly narrowing as he remembered a certain bi-colored boy, who would always try to drag (Y/n) away. That would happen when either Rin and her were relaxing or training together. Which was already rare, since (Y/n) liked practicing with Karasu, Barou, and Isagi more.

'All of them can't even come close to me! But, I will figure that issue another day. For now, I need to rescue (Y/n) from Bachira.'

"Isagiii! Hurry up, we need to go and catch (Y/n) before breakfast!"

"Bachira!! Stop yelling!" Chigiri barked back as Isagi shook his head.

"Can you both keep it down... Barou looks like he is about to kill us." The two looked at the boy Isagi was pointing at, only to really find a scowl on his face.

"What is it with the face, king?" Chigiri teased, causing Isagi to groan when Barou's glare deepened.

"You are all too loud. I still don't see how (Y/n) can hang around you. Aside from Isagi, you guys act like pigs in a barn."

Bachira rolled his eyes and poked his tongue out.

"Because we are fun to be around and we treat (Y/n) with respect~" The bi-colored boy teased.

"Not to mention, I am cuter." Chigiri smirked, and Isagi thanked the Heavens as the door opened, stopping Barou from shouting.

"Ok, you 4, where is (Y/n)? Nagi and I want to eat breakfast with him." Reo announced, confusing the group as Rin and Nagi walked in right after.

"What?" Barou raised an eyebrow, getting out of his bed.

"Hand him over. We know that Bachira is the one who kidnaps him at any time of the day." Nagi yawned, then sent the said boy a glare.

"Hey! It's not my fault he is rather around me than you two bores."

"Say that again and I will kick you all the way to Spain." Reo moved closer, but got stopped by Isagi.

"Get it over with, dumbasses. Where is (Y/n)? He needs to go and eat." Rin grumbled, trying to look for her.

"What are you talking about, Underlashes? We haven't seen him since dinner." Barou raised an eyebrow.

"We know he is here. Hand him over." Nagi grumbled.

"(Y/n) isn't here. We really did not see him."

"Isagi is right. We just woke up, too." Chigiri sighed as Barou was starting to get a headache.

Silence fell among the boys, as the three intruders observed the room a little better. And the 4 were right. (Y/n) really wasn't there.

"So... he really isn't here." Reo mumbled.

"Glad you decided to use your ears for once." Barou rolled his eyes.

"Maybe he went to eat breakfast earlier?" Isagi suggested, causing the group to look at him.

"Maybe! Let's go look!" Bachira cheered as he ran out the room, followed by Reo and Chigiri.

"(Y/n) and I can share some food."

"Not if we do it first." Reo and Chigiri argued as the rest followed wordlessly after them.

'This is weird... she never leaves like that.' Barou thought.

'Now that I think of it, he did act off last night.' Rin thought, remembering the nervous expression on the captain's face.

'Where did he go? I just want to sleep on him.' Nagi pouted.

"Hmm... maybe we should ask Ego-san..." Isagi muttered to himself.

Meanwhile...

"So...how is going to eat breakfast in a restaurant supposed to help me?" (Y/n) wondered as she glanced at Sae.

"As I said, I will tell you everything once we are there and seated." Sae said nonchalantly.

"Besides, I heard that this place serves great Katsu. The chicken one is loved a lot."

This got (Y/n)'s attention on Sae more.

"Really?! I love Katsu! If that's the case, I will wait till we are there." She said excitedly, earning a sigh of relief from Sae.

'Paying money to get some of that information on him seems to be worth it.'

"I still don't understand why you didn't want me to tell Rin where I will be. I am sure he would have liked meeting you again." (Y/n) said, noticing the way Sae tensed up at her words.

"No. No. That won't be needed." Sae said seriously, shaking his head a few times.

"Rin and I are still... not the best with each other. To put it like that."

"Ah..." The girl nodded her head, deciding not speak much on it.

'Siblings are so weird...'

'Good thing he is easily convinced. I still wonder how Shidou and Rin are scared of him.' Sae wondered, discreetly staring at (Y/n)'s face.

"(Y/n), your favorite teammate is here!"

Karasu, Yukimiya, Otoya, and Hiori flinched at Bachira's loudness and looked at the door as the group slowly started walking in

"Stop yelling, Bachira. It's still pretty early." Hiori frowned, trying to ignore the comment he made.

"Besides, his favorite teammate is me~" Otoya chimed in, earning an eyeroll from Yukimiya.

"You will give our poor captain white hair before he turns 20. I on the other hand am very calm and-"

"Nah, all of you lose against me." The three glared at Karasu as Isagi walked to the table, followed by Nagi and Reo.

"Hey, did you guys see (Y/n)? We can't find him anywhere?" The four looked between each other and then at the group again.

"No. We didn't see him since dinner. Is he not your roommate, Rin?" Otoya questioned the younger Itoshi.

"He wasn't in his bed this morning." The boy said back. Now that alarmed the 4. They came to the dining hall to greet the girl and talk to her before practice started, but this wasn't something they expected.

"He wasn't there?" Yukimiya blinked a few times.

"No. And we have been looking for him the whole time." Bachira said, a little desperate to find the captain now.

"That's odd... (Y/n) isn't the type to just up and leave, especially before breakfast..." Karasu frowned, getting up from his seat.

"Maybe he is in the gym? Or went to practice earlier? I know that Tokimitsu, Gagamaru, Niko, Aryu, and Kurona went to practice a little." Hiori added in.

"And Kunigami went to the gym... maybe he can help us in looking for him." Otoya chimed in as Chigiri nodded his head.

"Good idea."

"Let's go and look for muscle head then." Barou said, trying to mask his own worry with boredom.

'Where are you now, idiot?'

"Bless you." Sae said as (Y/n) sneezed, then returned his attention to his food.

"Thanks... I hope I don't get sick." (Y/n) sniffed a little and went back to earing her food, earning a few glances from Sae.

"I assume you are aware that both you and your friend, Isagi, have caught my attention back during the game."

(Y/n) simply nodded while still munching on her food.

"Yeah, you did make it obvious. What about it?"

"I will be straight forward with you, I want you two to join my club after Blue lock is over." (Y/n) stopped in her movements and blinked at Sae a few times.

'Huh?! I joined Blue lock to escape my family! Not join some team in Spain!!' She panicked on the inside, but tried to keep her cool.

"Y-you do? Is that why you invited me out today?" (Y/n) raised her eyebrow.

"Not entirely. I would like to introduce you to a future Royale can offer you, sure, but it's not the only reason I invited you over."

"Huh?"

Sae kept his eye-contact with her, causing (Y/n) to grow even more nervous. There was just a look in Sae's eyes that made her nerves go all over the place.

'Did he figure me out?! Oh no... But, if he knew I was a girl, he wouldn't be stupid enough to talk about me joining a men's team.' She looked away from Sae and took a sip of her water.

"You are... interesting, I guess. I can't pin point it, bit there is something off about you."

(Y/n) frantically looked back at Sae, who had moved a little closer to her face.

"And I will figure out what it is."

Blushing from the closeness, (Y/n) pushed Sae gently away and nervously laughed.

"You are very funny... but there is nothing off about me... I am just a plain, normal football player."

"We will see."

Sae said, then went back to eating his food and (Y/n) turned her attention to hers.

'But... why didn't he invite Isagi as well? This is so weird...'

"You can't find him?! But where did he go?! Maybe he got lost in this building?! We should call Ego-san!" Tokimitsu said in a panic as Aryu and Gagamaru tried to calm him down. Isagi sweat dropped as he finished explaining how nobody could find (Y/n) anywhere.

"How would he get lost? Sure, the building is big, but not big enough to get lost." Niko tried to rationalize.

"And there is always staff who can help him out. Tokimitsu, I am sure he is fine, so please calm down." Kunigami added in.

"But it is weird that we can't find him. He isn't reckless..." Otoya said, sitting down on the ground, Hiori and Chigiri joining him.

"I dunno. Did anyone say anything mean to him last night? Or something that would have upset him?" Aryu interjected, earning questioning looks from the rest.

"I don't think so? Everything was normal last night. We were all just joking and training after all." Gagamaru reminded the boy.

"Hmm, true. I thought maybe he was upset and just took a walk this morning."

"Even if he was upset, he wouldn't miss out on breakfast." Reo argued, earning nods from Nagi and Barou.

"Reo has a point. And (Y/n) is the type who will just tell you if you messed up or not." Barou said.

"Well... now we know as much as we did an hour ago." Isagi mattered. There was a short silence before Kurona finally spoke up.

"You... you guys don't think he might have left..."

"What do you mean?" Bachira looked over at the nervous boy.

"Left? Why would he leave?" Hiori said, looking in worry around the room.

"Well, he did seem tired the past few weeks, especially when he has to keep some of the players at bay." Kurona spoke, sending Rin, Barou, and Nagi a few short glances, then spoke up again.

"Also, he did confess that the captain role was forced at him... Maybe he just grew tired and left."

"Th-that's impossible, Kurona!" Otoya laughed nervously as Chigiri joined in.

"Yeah! (Y/n) might have been tired, but he would never leave without telling us!"

"And Ego-san would have called us or appointed a new captain in that case!" Reo chimed in, anxiety radiating off of him. Nagi grew restless at the idea too, not liking that it did sound valid.

"That's moronic. (Y/n) is a reliable person, he wouldn't leave us." Kunigami joined.

Bachira smiled nervously, nudging a nervous Niko.

"Haha Kurona is so funny, right? (Y/n) wouldn't leave me... he wouldn't leave us. Right, Niko?"

"Uh..." Niko gulped as he looked at Bachira, who was basically begging him to agree.

"Damn it... he can't be gone. He promised he would stay here till I beat him for the 2nd spot..." Karasu bit on his nail. Yukimiya, for the first time in a while, felt really helpless. (Y/n) was so welcoming and supporting to him, a real captain, a friend... he can't be gone! He can't be gone from his life.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck... Please don't be gone!' Yukimiya poked his cheeks a few times.

"Leave? But he can't just leave... he is the only one who binds the team together." Gagamaru argued, not paying attention to the nervous Tokimitsu.

"Leave?! But... but he promised he would stay and comfort me when I need it... (Y/n) wouldn't break his promise like that!" Tokimitsu argued as Aryu stayed quiet. He was way too horrified at the idea of (Y/n) gone.

'He... he isn't... he is here somewhere! He just took a walk! That's all!' Aryu thought.

"Isagi... (Y/n) is still here. He didn't leave, right?" Hiori wondered in worry. He didn't want (Y/n) gone!

'He is the only person who understood me.'

"I... I really don't know." Isagi gulped, anxiety rising in his body as well.

'She didn't go. She told me she didn't want to go home. After all, she would rather be a captain to us than be home with those people. She told me so.'

Rin clenched his fists, not wanting to admit he was worried by that idea.

'That's stupid, he is still here. He didn't leave... I know that!'

'Stupid idiot! Why would she leave?!' Barou was meanwhile fighting both worry and anger, when suddenly a thought hit both him and Isagi.

'What will her parents do now?' They gulped.

"You... you like Sanrio characters?" Sae raised an eyebrow as he saw (Y/n) pick up a pink, sheep plushie from that section. The girl blushed and sheepishly nodded her head.

"A little... I have some fond memories with this show. I also like Piano as a character."

Sae said nothing as (Y/n)'s face turned redder and smile grew bigger.

"Childish, I know."

Sae blinked at her a few times, then looked away, face red.

"It's... it's cool. The sheep looks cool." Sae said, daring a glance at (Y/n). The girl looked a little shocked, but got over it soon.

"Thanks! And, thank you for inviting me out today. I would have hardly gotten a day off otherwise."

Trying to calm the redness down, Sae looked over at (Y/n), playing it off cool.

"Sure."

A whole day of practice had passed... and it's easy to say that it was anything but a good day. None of the boys could concentrate on playing. And how could they? After all, their captain is nowhere to be found. She is possibly gone forever. The team barely got anything done, and all of them just wanted to be over with the day. They couldn't even stomach any food.

"Why are you all following me?"

"We want to have some of (Y/n)'s stuff. And with that said, I am getting the pillow as my cuddle buddy." Bachira answered Rin's question.

"Bachira, you weirdo! You have to share with me." Chigiri chimed in, earning weirded out looks from the team.

"Shouldn't you all go eat dinner?" Rin wondered, earning sobs from Aryu, Tokimitsu, and Otoya.

"(Y/n) loved dinner, too!"

Karasu rolled his eyes at their dramatic behavior.

"You all are annoying." Rin sighed and opened the door to his room, expecting to find it empty.

"Ah, Rin. I was wondering where you are. It's pretty late- Why is the rest of the team here?" Rin, along with the rest of the team froze as they saw (Y/n), dressed in her pajamas, looking in confusion at them.

"(Y/n).... you-you didn't leave?" Nagi blurted out.

"Leave? I just had a day of today...and had to meet someone." (Y/n) explained.

"Are you all ok? You look like you saw a ghost-"

"Wait! So... so you are still our captain and teammate?!" Otoya yelled, clearly a wreck from what had happened.

"Yes? Why wouldn't I be-"

"I am so happy to hear that!!"

"You had me worried!"

"I was never happier to be wrong!"

"Thank God!"

(Y/n) yelled in surprise as Bachira, Niko, Kurona, and Hiori tackled her into a hug. Reo, Nagi, Isagi, and Karasu ran right after them, just as revealed as the rest.

"Get off of him, guys." Kunigami said, walking over to help (Y/n). Chigiri joining soon in to free (Y/n) from Bachira's grip.

"Donkey loser, you have no idea what sort of shit you put me through today." Barou scolded the boy, but he was very released to find his friend back where she should be.

Gagamaru, Tokimitsu, Aryu, Otoya, and Yukimiya walked over too, bombarding the player with many questions.

"Please, one at a time! What did you say, Gagamaru?" (Y/n) looked around nervously.

Rin silently approached them, sitting down on his bed, and let out a sigh he didn't know he was keeping in.

'Thank God...'

[pixie-ass]

Don't Say You Need Me - Jonathan Crane Drabble

Warnings - none except refrenced non consented ghost hands

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

It'd been almost 2 weeks since she'd last heard from the man she loved. Last time she'd seen him he'd been the one to reach out, look for her until he found her, to tell her he missed her and needed her back. Like always she believed him, blurred by the rose lens of love. He'd been there for a while, not long but a little longer than usual until one morning he'd left, with nothing but a few words of how he needed to leave and couldn't explain it to her. 

Here she was now, laying in her bed, a comforter covering her from head to toe as she stared out her apartment window into the gloomy streets of Gotham. The tv was playing in the background, the news reporter buzzing about more criminal attacks of people dying from a gas poison. She could care less, a villain could come into her apartment now and strip her of everything but she wouldn't care, her heart had been ripped out again. 

The moon was bright in the sky, but clouds would come and cover it again, leaving her in darkness again. 

It was late into the night, but she couldn't sleep.

Flipping over, she looked at her small clock, 2:37, it read. It's been days since she'd gotten good rest even if all she did was rot in bed. 

She hasn't always been this way, she'd been with many men before, but none of them had made her so sad to lose like Jonathan had. She'd been strong, never shedding a tear for any of them, telling herself they weren't worth it. But then came the doctor, with his charming good looks and stoic personality. 

Lost in thought she once again stared into nothing in particular, lost in thoughts that kept coming. Her phone lit up, she zoned into it. She was getting a phone call. Sitting up, she picked it up, the caller ID was unknown. 

Furrowing her brows she answered, "Hello?"

"Y/n, hello. It's Jonathan."

Silence filled the room, her heart leaped in her chest, from happiness, excitement, pure bliss. It was like the color had returned into her life once again. She was happy to hear his voice again, like a drug it lured her in and had her addicted everytime.

"My love, where have you been? I've been worried sick." She inhaled shakily, the news of his voice making her happiness overpowering, "Oh, i've missed you so much, Jonathan.." she whispered. She was now sitting up completely, the first movements she'd done in a while.

"I've been busy here at Arkham, you know how my job is. Lunatic after lunatic. You wouldn't believe how many crazies are in this city." His voice sounded the same, yet she could suspect a different hint of tone from his usual annoyed one, it sounded darker, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She decided she was imagining it, from her lack of sleep and time since she last heard him.

She let out a giggle, "Yeah, I'm sure, I've seen the news. There's a new criminal they call the Scarecrow, spraying victims with a fear gas. Another crazy you'll be seeing soon, huh?" There was a noise in the call as if a shift in fabric, "Perhaps if he's caught. I've seen him around the media, his techniques are quite intelligent though, the police haven't caught him, not even the infamous Batman." There was a snarkiness in his voice, his annoyed tone had returned, his tone almost sounded insulted at her comment.

She wondered why, then another question popped up, "Why did you call me until now, Jon?" She was now frowning, looking down at her knees, her heart aching in fear of what he would say. 

"Ah yes, I called you because I wanted to see you, my darling." Her frown lifted, a smile replacing it as she bit her lip happily. 

"I've been wanting to see you more than anything. When did you want to meet up?"

"I'm outside your apartment complex, if now is fine." Jolting up she looked outside her window, seeing him walk into the doors of the complex, her heart raced as she looked at herself.

She looked a bit messy from laying in bed, "Oh, um, yes now is fine. Let me just clean up a bit. Just knock when you're here please." He gave a quick response, as she hung up. She wasn't sure what he needed but now her nerves were getting to her as she replaced the lounge clothes she wore with actual clothes. Slipping on a small black skirt and sweater, she tidied up her hair as she heard a knock. 

Opening the door, she smiled widely, there stood the man she'd yearned for, dressed in his usual suit. "Jonathan…" She embraced him in a tight hug around the neck, holding onto him like he'd disappear into thin air again, "I've missed you so so much." She exhaled into his neck. He placed a hand on her waist, he'd never been much of a physical person. Stepping back, she stared into his face, smile never leaving as she motioned him to come in. He did so, she noticed he was carrying a suitcase with him, she assumed he'd just got out from Arkham. 

"Good to see you too, darling. I needed to see you again." He spoke, setting down his suitcase on the kitchen table. Her heart fluttered at his words, he did seem a bit different. 

He sat down at one of the tables and she accompanied him in doing so. Staring at him, she noticed he carried himself with a new demeanor, she didn't speak until he spoke up first, "I'm sorry I left so abruptly. I had an emergency to see to. You know I love and need you, my darling." 

She nodded, smiling as she grabbed his hand in hers. "I know, my love. Don't worry. I'll always be here for you, I love you more than anything."

Jonathan was pleased to hear this, he gave a smile in return. He knew when he picked her long ago she'd be perfect. No matter how many times he'd left, for months or longer, she accepted him with open arms. He wasn't interested in love or such things but that didn't mean he wasn't good at faking it, he was a master at manipulation and psychological abuse, he was only using what he knew. 

"My darling, since you love me so much, would you do anything I told you?" He leaned over, running a hand through her hair lovingly, then moving to her cheek as he caressed it with his thumb. They both equally knew she would, she nodded, placing her hand on top of his as she leaned into his cool touch, bathing in the feel of it. 

"Of course, my love." 

"Good." He responded, leaning into her and placing a slow kiss onto her lips. She melted into it instantly, closing her eyes and taking in the feeling she missed so much. His lips were warm and he was perfect as always. 

A small click was heard, but she ignored it, too infatuated with the man's lips to acknowledge or care. That was until a smell filled her nose, his lips had pulled away by now and she began coughing, opening her eyes she saw smoke and Jonathan had been replaced by a terrifying frowning scarecrow. She let out a scream that was quickly broken by another fit of coughs as she stood up, stepping backwards to get away. 

A gruesome voice now filled her head and the room around her was becoming distorted, the lights flickering and dark voids and bugs crawling everywhere. "Oh my darling, having trouble?" The voices seemed to be mocking, she couldn't see him clearly now, only a terrifying dark shadowy figure slowly making its way towards her. She felt hands touching her all over. Falling backwards her body made harsh contact with the floor, she continued to scream, now crying, "Please… please stop, no no no.." she closed her eyes but that only seemed to make it worse as more terrifying images appeared.

"Your pretty little mind can only take so much. Shhh succumb to the fear! Come on my darling, let it all out. Let me see your biggest fears." The voice was tormenting, filling her whole head as she cried harder, the feeling of hands getting more painful on her body. She tried to rub them off frantically, but the feeling only worsened, she felt like she was suffocating. Opening her eyes the scarecrow was face to face with her, distorting and moving into terrifying faces straight from a nightmare. 

"Make it stop, make it stop please!" Her words were coming out slurred, whines and whimpers being all that Johnathan heard. She was trying to crawl away, but not to much success. Jonathan could see it was affecting her greatly, he was pleased, a sinister smirk on his face as he ripped the mask off. She was showing to be a great sport, her fear was much more extravagant than he had imagined. He had used a lower dose on her to test it out, but she showed great promise in his future experiments. 

Cooing at her, he caressed her face again, her eyes widened in fear as she was paralyzed in place unable to writhe away. Her eyes then closed suddenly as her body went limp, her brain must have exhausted from the high levels of fear.  "You're okay now, Dr. Crane will take care of you for being such a good girl." 

[likeadevils]

Reputation Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Reputation in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing rep and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).

"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."

March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).

May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around. "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."

October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.

November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...]  “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”

April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.

August 29, 2016: Taylor writes in her diary "This summer is the apocalypse."

Gorgeous: Sep. 1-5, 16, 17, 19 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing this outfit in her Nashville apartment, which dates the song to September 17. From there, the rest of the dates are just math. 

King of My Heart: Sep. 6, 19, 20, 21 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing the same outfit in the Gorgeous video and the KOMH video. It's also the same outfit as a video she later posted to The Swift Life (RIP) where she talked about how excited she was to be working after a long break.

September 9, 2016: Gigi Hadid says "You know, [Taylor] is starting to go back to work in the studio again."

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Early Oct. (Speculation)

In a teaser for the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen in an unfamiliar outfit (black mesh top) with bleached hair and a thin gold choker that she was fond of in October 2016. She is not wearing her silver J pendant, which she got as a 27th birthday present (Dec 13, 2016). IDWLF is the only song with no video footage that was written in 2016. I don't recognize the studio in the clip, but she recorded IDWLF with Jack Antonoff, who is based in New York. Taylor was on the east coast until October 22nd, and was seen in New York between October 11-13.

Delicate: Oct. 24-26 (Speculation)

Taylor is seen wearing the aforementioned thin gold choker,  with her post Sep. 24 haircut (straight across bangs instead of a side part). Since she normally goes into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback with a few ideas, and creates multiple songs during their sessions, I'm inclined to group this song with IDSB and place it in late October.

I Did Something Bad: Oct. 14, 27 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, at 4:18 you can spot a gold temporary tattoo on the inside of her wrist, similar to ones she was wore at Drake’s Birthday Party on October 23. Since she is seen working until sundown (She leaves LA on October 28) and had to be in Nashville 13 days priar (She was seen in New York City until the 13), October 14 and 27th are the only dates that make sense. 

January 3, 2017: Taylor writes in her diary "I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for Grammys and now, I’m essentially based in London, hiding out trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe."

Don't Blame Me: Jan. 10, 11, 12 (Inferring)

Taylor is seen wearing a similar jacket as she was papped wearing on the 11th in the Making of a Song video. (This is pure speculation on my part, but the mood also seems to be a bit lower than on other days). We know she was in LA around this time “for work.”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Jan. 11 (Confirmed)

This post explains the situation pretty well. There are multiple accounts of what seems to be a similar story. January 11th one of two times she is seen leaving the gym after a long paparazzi dry spell, the other being in July. Seeing as the song is produced by Max Martin, who is located in LA, and the July pictures are in New York, I’m inclined to agree with the original source.

Dress: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

Jack Antonoff: “Dress is my second favorite [from Reputation]. It's the first one we made for it." Taylor was mostly based in London in early 2017, but there’s two times we know she was in the states. The first is in early January, when Taylor was in California working with Max Martin and Shellback. The second time is in late January/early February, when she was in Nashville preparing for Super Saturday Night. My guess is this was written in Late January, mostly because she was on the east coast, but theoretically she could've done it earlier in the month, or even later in the year.

Look What You Made Me Do: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song Video, as well as in Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with straight hair and her J initial necklace (dating the song to post-Dec 13, 2016). Her hairstyle (the deep side part) is very Mid-2016. For most of 2017, she seems to favor the straight across braids with strands on the side. Long story short (ha), the hair makes me what to put this as early in the timeline as possible. We know Taylor was on the east coast (specifically Nashville) in early February, preparing for Super Saturday Night.

New Years Day: 2017 (Unknown)

There isn’t any footage of this, but Jack Antonoff has said that it came together fairly quickly and unexpectedly while they were hanging out at his house. 

...Ready For It?: May 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song series, as well as Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and not her Sapphire Evil Eye Ring, which starts showing up on June 27th (We don’t know exactly when or why she got the sapphire ring). . Since the song partially focuses on whether or not her lover is ready for the media frenzy that surrounds dating her, I’m inclined to place this song in May, when her and Joe’s relationship leaked to the press. The song was recorded in Sweden, and we can assume she was in Europe between May 15 and June 1, 2017. (That being said, we can assume she is in Europe for most of the first half of 2017). 

Call It What You Want: June 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and not her sapphire evil eye ring. Once again, I am tempted to put this after her relationship leaked to the press, probably in early June (She is in the states on the 1st and 3rd, and probably leaves sometime in mid-June).

End Game: Mid July (Confirmed)

Ed Sheeran has said that the song was written around July 14th, while he was playing in Connecticut and Taylor was in Rhode island. Ed: End Game was written - I was playing Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and she has a place in Rhode Island, which isn't too far. So she hits me up like, 'I know you're in Connecticut, come around.' I go around, she plays me some of what turned out to be reputation, and plays me this End Game, and I was like 'Man, I really like this. Can I do a verse? Can I do a rap verse?' And she was like, 'Yeah, for sure!' So the next day, I remember, I was in bed, and woke up and got my laptop out, put the song, just looped it, wrote this verse, and I went in with Max Martin, who she did the song with, and recorded it. Then Future did a verse, and then Taylor wrote a verse and we did the video.

Getaway Car: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring, placing the song sometime shortly before/after June 27th. We know she was in the states for most of July, and in New York City on the 17th and 24th.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring. For all the same reasons as Getaway Car, this song was probably recorded in July. The exact order of Getaway Car and TIWWCHNT is probably impossible for anyone not involved in the making of the song to know. I could see arguments for either order, but Taylor has said that reputation is in fairly chronological order, I’m putting it in order of tracklist.

So It Goes: September 2017 (Inferring)

Oscar Görres, a cowritter on the song, said he got a call from Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor asking to use his track after he’d just had a child. According to social media, he had a daughter in 2015 and a son in September of 2017. The interview is a bit confusing, timeline-wise. On one had, Görres says “I’d just become a father,” but then he implies that Max and Shellback had already completed most of the album. (For context, English isn’t his first language). Personally, I believe the believe the September 2017 date. Multiple sessioners have said Taylor said all songs on the album were about her relationship with Joe, and the tracklists in the reputation magazines are out of order, suggesting a late change. Taylor has has also been known to add a song to the album incredibly last minute— most notably Forever & Always on Fearless, but also with Death By A Thousand Cuts on Lover, which had to have been written post April 20, 2019 (but that's for another album).

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

[vidalinav]

Part 2 of the Nesta gets sick, acofas re-write thing

This is not my best work honestly. It's more of my quick writing. But you know what? It is what it is. Not everything can be a masterpiece and I should post things even when I don't think it's perfect. Keeps me humble and keeps me brave. This was a pep talk for me.

Part 1

~

The icy wind scars his face, but it's a small form of torture. Her name sits on his tongue, but he has yet to see if the mountains will hear him or if the people of Velaris will point the way.

Which tavern? Which music hall? Which book store? Which person's bedroom will he find her in?

How drunk will she be?

Cassian wishes he was drunk right now, but...

Has he ever been sober since he's seen her face?

Cassian sees her and the words spill out his mouth. Nothing honest--no. If he were telling the truth, he'd have sunk to his knees. Human, fae, or... death.

She breathed life back into him.

Now Nesta's being haunted by her thoughts, drinking them away, so they may be silenced, so the ice on his face--the piercing slice of winter, is a small price to pay. A small sacrifice. A small revenge for he deserves more than this.

"Nesta!" he yells, but Cassian's sure the wind swallows his call, howling like a wolf to the moon.

Cassian doesn't like the thought of her traveling in this. The city is bright, but he's unsurprised that many of the businesses are closed. It is a holiday after all. Thankfully, the taverns are alight with patrons and noise. He's almost glad it's open if only to offer Nesta reprieve.

Because she isn't at home when he knocks on her door. He can't sense her at all. Cauldron knows her apartment must not have good heating, or at least the door felt as cold as ice. Quiet and mocking. For that alone, Cassian's sure she'd be somewhere here.

So which tavern will it be?

He clenches his fist, but he tells himself it's to warm them and not because the thought of her uncared for goads on his nerves. Not because the thought of her cared for in another's bed makes him want to gut someone brutally.

"We haven't seen her, my lord," the barkeeper says.

"Cassian," he quickly corrects, though he knows none of the workers will do as he asks, formality running heavy throughout town.

"We haven't seen her in a couple of days actually," a younger fae, who offers to pour him a drink, notes. "She usually sits right over there, nearest to the musicians. They've been traveling, you see, so perhaps she's tried another tavern."

"We hope she comes back, my lord. Our high lady's sister is always welcome."

Cassian is sure she is, since he's seen the bills collected on her behalf. "Do you know where she might be?"

The barkeeper shrugs, "maybe Blue Mill? Have you tried the Wolf's den?"

"She's not there," he says, though Cassian offers his thanks and moves on to another tavern down the way, much tamer than the last.

Nesta's not at that one either. The snow sprinkles down and it packs the ground in deep white. He can feel it in his boots.

Where can Nesta be?

Perhaps, he should have told Azriel to send his shadows, but he does what he knows, so he shoots to the sky, not bothering to think about how much his wings will ache from this weather.

He doesn't know how long he searches, before something starts eating at his gut. Something pokes and prods at his chest. Something is not right.

Something is terribly wrong, and it is not this storm or the sting against his wings. It's not the fact that the city sings even from above, as if nothing but him can sense this.

Nesta is nowhere in sight.

She's not at the bridge, the taverns, the trail to her house, the walk to the bookstores, along the Sidra. There is nothing that says that Nesta lives here, all he sees is white.

White is the color of death, he finds, and something morbid calls him forth.

Nesta. Nesta. Nesta.

He thinks the wind calls her name, an echo of his voice. A chant. Cassian thinks of death gods. Of monsters. Of villainous people.

What is happening to her?

Why can't he find her?

Cassian circles the mountain, pulling at his hair.

There.

A scarf circles around a lamp post and it looks like the one Elain gifts to Nesta for her birthday last spring. Light blue and waving hello, come find me, I need you. When he grasps it, Cassian can catch the slightest whiff of her scent.

"Nesta," he calls, peering at the space as if she'll come out of hiding. He sees piles of snow, no footprints in sight. All he can smell is wind and winter and cold. "Nesta!"

He finds a shroud near the stairs, her head lying against the stone. Touches of brass and pale skin. Snow has already begun to pile on her body. A blanket of white. A funeral.

"Nesta," he gasps. "Nesta. Nesta!"

She is so perfectly silent, it fills him with dread.

"Talk to me, Nesta," he demands as he grasps her shoulders, and then her hands, blowing into them as if that my warm her from the inside out.

Her cheeks are a budding pink and her lips are tinged in blue. Cassian thinks of death, corpses, and pale flesh. He can't help it. Nesta lays so still, he wants to throw up.

Her heart beat is faint, but Cassian thinks it might just be the wind drowning out any noise. At least he keeps repeating that to himself, because pulling out his own won't help hers beat louder or stronger.

"I'm going to take you to the house," he says, though she doesn't make a sound. Nesta's head lulls into his neck as he holds her to his chest. Cassian's surprised to find a touch of warmth at her skin and for that he sends a thousand thanks to the Mother.

"I've got you Nesta," he says, kissing at the top of her head without thinking. "I've got you."

I'm never leaving you alone, again.

~

You see I have a very good memory, so I had this book series memorized like the back of my mind. But then I went into a PhD program, and brain dumped it all. SO I cannot remember some details or at least I can't remember which things happened in what book... just like SJM ( LOL ). So if this is not bookly accurate, just ignore it. Nothing about this is bookly accurate anyway.

Also this is hella dramatic. I should have really just started off with... he found her with no explanation... which is what I usually do. But I tried to give explanation. And... it's dramatic. But whateva.

You'll see her actually sick in the next part.