#david rossi headcanons

[chin-chilla-7]

Gender and Sexuality Headcanons - Criminal Minds Characters

These are my sexuality and gender headcanons for the main BAU team from Criminal Minds. My sources are me: a queer and trans person. All right, let’s get into it.

Aaron Hotchner

I see him as bi, but it’s not something he really thought about until after the divorce.

He and Hayley were highschool sweethearts, he really didn’t need to think much about his sexuality.

And he thought it was normal to think guys looked good. He can tell when someone’s attractive, doesn’t mean he’s attracted to them.

Even though in this case, he was.

For gender, I guess cis? If you ask him, that’s what he’d tell you. He uses he/him pronouns. He’s very confident in his masculinity and he likes it.

But it’s also not something that really matters to him and who he is, ya feel?

Spencer Reid

He’s trans and bi.

Basically had to raise himself to begin with, and learn how to care for his mother while raising himself that adding trans care to the mix was something he had to put off until he was eighteen.

Though, this does mean that he’s read a lot of trans-care articles in the time he couldn’t put his research into action.

Because he’s felt like a boy since elementary school. It’s just something that made sense to him so he went with it.

Derek Morgan

He has the potential vibes to be trans, you know what I mean? I personally like both sides of this for him, so I’m not hard stuck one way or the other.

I do see him as presenting straight, preferring to appear straight even though I think he’s also probably bi.

Despite being bi, he most likely leans towards women more often than not. This is both due to preference and a little bit out of fear of being with a man.

I think he’d have to really trust the man if he followed through with those feelings. 

Emily Prentiss

She is a lesbian.

Men do not interest her. She does not care about men. She does not care to date men.

She’s pretty open about it when you ask, but it’s not something you’d probably suspect from her (but also she had that goth phase in high school-)

Gender-wise, I’m open to the headcanon of her being a trans-woman! Honestly I think that’s iconic. But, like Morgan, I’m not really hard stuck one way or the other.

J.J.

Bi. She’s dated a few women in her past.

She does, though, really only give me cis-women vibes.

Anyway, it’s not something she really talks about cause it’s not really a ‘thing’ for her.

She dates who she dates, and it she doesn’t make a big deal out of it.

David Rossi

Okay David. He’s like - he’s never been intimate with a man, but there’s a certain emotional intimacy that he shares with some guys that give fruity vibes, you know what I mean?

So technically, he’s straight because he’s never slept with a man, but there’s vibes there is all I’m saying.

Also a cis-man. He’s too old nowadays to care about that.

Penelope Garcia

Okay queen. I think she’s pan. She loves and she loves and it doesn’t matter who you are (unless you’re mean and nasty and hate kitties) she has a lot of love to give.

And she gives she/they energy, you know what I mean? They like being girly, but it’s in a fun, androgynous way.

The most fluid with their gender out of the group. Again, a queen.

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

BAU movie night:

MORGAN: Insists on picking the movie, chooses a cheesy ‘80s action movie, and falls asleep immediately.

PENELOPE: Knows Morgan too well so brought a stack of Disney movies. She is the designated snack dispenser, and has prepared a feast of popcorn, M&Ms, pretzels, and soda. AirPlaying the movie on the big screen from her tablet.

SPENCER: “Did you know that Walt Disney actually pioneered a groundbreaking sound system called Fantasia for the 1940 animated feature ‘Fantasia’? It was a precursor to many modern sound technologies.”

ELLE: Listens intently to Reid’s facts, splitting the blue and the red M&Ms into two piles, the blue for Spencer, the red for her.

EMILY: Annoying everyone because she can’t sit still and keeps spinning in her chair. Puts popcorn up Morgan’s nose as he sleeps and passes a handful of pretzels to JJ every few minutes.

JJ: Goes to the toilet constantly and eats all the pretzels. Keeps checking her phone.

HOTCH: Reading case files in the corner. Also eats all the pretzels.

ROSSI: “What the hell is this movie even about?”

GIDEON: “It’s about the chaotic predilections of man.”

EMILY: “It’s about Mickey Mouse.”

Check out my Masterlist for more BAU scenarios

[sabage101]

When your card declines at therapy and they make you watch season 5 Episode 9 on repeat

“ I worked the case, just like you said ”

[criminalmindsfanantic]

JJ and Emily showing off their new name plates after getting married 🥰❤️

[allisluv]

Emily prentiss x single mom!reader, Emily introducing her new gf reader and her kid to the team?

meet the family -- e.p

summary: emily introduces you and your daughter, verity, to the team.

pairing: emily prentiss x single mom!reader

word count: 1.1k

content warnings: derek being a lovable menace and interrogating reader but he's just worried for emily! apart from that, i don't think there is anything else but if there is, just lmk! <3

author's note: thinking about turning this into a series so feel free to send in as many scenarios for these two as you'd like! <3

when emily tells you that she wants to introduce you to her friends from work, you're nervous, to say the least. you've heard great things about the bau— not only are they damn good at their job, they also treat each other like family.

you're sure they're lovely people, honest, but part of you wonders just how nice they will be when they find out you have a daughter. you've been going out with emily for the better part of six months, and while she has been nothing but supportive of you being a single mother, that doesn't mean everyone else will be as understanding.

over the last four years, you've faced a lot of backlash about being a single mother. in fact, you had started to give up hope altogether on finding someone new. people do not like to take someone on when they have priorities or "baggage", as one man called it. you were debating taking down your tinder profile when emily messaged you— and boy were you glad she did.

"relax, my love," emily soothes, resting her hand on your thigh as she focuses on the long stretch of road ahead. "it's just dinner. and i promise they don't bite. well, derek might, but he's all talk and i'll kick him in the balls if i have to."

you laugh, wiping your clammy palms down the front of your black blouse. "are you sure i look alright? i feel stupid in this skirt."

before emily can get a word in, verity pipes up from the backseat. "you look pretty, mommy."

you meet her eye in the rear view mirror and smile. her words settle your nerves ever so slightly. "thank you, honey."

"see?" emily quirks a brow. "verity knows her stuff, don't you, v?"

verity is too busy playing with her barbie dolls to give emily a proper answer, but she hums her agreement, which is good enough. emily brings your hand up to her mouth and presses soft kisses to your knuckles, something that she's learnt over the last few months that soothes you.

emily holds your hand, verity holding your other, as you walk into the restaurant. it's buzzing with life, and it's warm, which makes a change to the bitter cold outside.

you hear someone call emily's name, and your heart sinks into a pit in your stomach. as if she can sense your anxiety— and lets be real, she's a profiler, so she more than likely can— she squeezes your hand and leans down to kiss your forehead. "that's jj."

a blonde with bangs pulls emily into a hug as the rest of the team stand to their feet. before you have time to back out of the situation altogether, a woman with orangey-red hair squeals and envelopes you in her arms. "i'm penelope!"

"hi!" you giggle, placing a hand over your chest in an effort to keep your heart from beating so fast. you give her your name and she compliments you on how pretty you are. "thank you," you laugh.

as you go around the table, learning everyone's names-- david and jj and aaron and spencer and the infamous derek-- you feel a tug on your arm. verity's hiding behind your legs and you hoist her onto your hip, not caring who's watching. she winds her chubby arms around your neck, and buries her face into your blouse.

"who've we got here?" spencer smiles, trying to catch verity's eye.

you look to emily for help and she places a reassuring hand on your lower back. "this is my girlfriend, and her daughter, verity."

for a minute no one says anything, and you debate running back out the front door and away from the prying eyes. you swallow the lump in your throat as emily's thumb traces soothing patterns against your lower back.

aaron cracks a tiny smile, something that looks to be a rare occurrence, and puts his hands on his hips. "it's nice to meet you, verity. how old are you?" verity pulls her face away from where it's buried in your blouse for just long enough to hold up four small fingers. "i have a son, jack, who's just a little bit older than you! he's five! maybe next time i could bring him and the two of you could play together? how does that sound?"

verity flails her legs about, a sign that she wants to be let down. you oblige, and she stands by your side, gripping your hand like a vice. "does jack like superheroes?"

aaron grins. "he does indeed."

verity juts her chin out. "then it's a date."

the team erupt into laughter and derek mutters something fondly about how jack will have his work cut out with this one.

emily pulls your chair out and you sit down, offering your girlfriend a smile in return. she sits beside you and verity makes herself comfortable in the chair on your other side. "i couldn't find a babysitter on such short notice, i'm sorry."

spencer dismisses you with a wave of his hand. "don't be. 66% of babysitters are between the ages of 11 to 13 anyway. did you know that?"

you smile. emily had filled you in about spencer’s rambling. while some people found it annoying, you found it endearing. “i didn’t know that."

derek leans across the table, using his elbows to prop himself up. "so..." he says to you. "what are your intentions with emily?" penelope whacks him across the back of the head. "what? it's a simple question!"

your face flushes scarlet. emily takes your hand under the table. "well, my intentions with emily are strictly confidential, if you know what i mean." you bat your lashes and rest your chin in the palm of your hand. you cover verity's ears. "does that answer your question or do you need the nitty gritty details of our sex life, too?"

jj bursts into a fit if giggles, aaron almost chokes on his red wine and derek ducks his head to hide his embarrassed smile.

"she's fiery," david notes. "i can see why you like her, em."

"well, i'm in love with emily," you announce. "and, unfortunately for you guys, i'm in it for the long haul, so you're stuck with me." you catch derek's eye from over the rim of your cocktail glass. "have you got a problem with that?"

derek tongues the inside of his cheek, smiles, and shakes his head. "not at all. i hope you don't mind me being rude, i was just seeing if you could hold your own, that's all. no hard feelings?"

you shake his hand across the table. "no hard feelings."

emily lets go of your hand to fold her arms across her chest. "im glad the air is cleared between the two of you, but if you ever pull a stunt like that again, i will castrate you."

"is that a threat?" derek muses.

"no," emily says, slipping her hand into yours. "It's a promise."

[reidsc0nverse]

pov your instagram when dating spencer reid pt 4

Liked by paparossi, princesspennyg, and 193 others

(y/n) i think derek got fed up with his statistics...

View all 25 comments

spencerreid1 This was frightening to say the least.

-> emilyprenty Maybe stop giving us daily lectures on a topic we brought up one time

-> paparossi @/emilyprenty I second that

derekm This is also me after he wins EVERY card game we play

-> (y/n) did you know there's a mathematical equation to every card game that guarantees the chances of winning 🤓☝️

-> jjareau not you too y/n..

-> spencerreid1 She's actually not wrong.

AaronHotchner I hope this isn't what you guys do when I'm not on the field with everyone

-> (y/n) 🤷‍♀️

Liked by katecallahan, hotboylukealvez, and 174 others

(y/n) finally convinced him to read og fairytales and watch the movies afterward

View all 23 comments

spencerreid1 ❤️

derekm Reid definitely seems like a rapunzel guy

-> (y/n) his favorite was actually belle

-> emilyprenty @/(y/n) shocker

jjareau Now you've just gotta show him Twilight

-> (y/n) that's next 🤭

princesspennyg This is so cute!!!!!

-> (y/n) until right after the movie he started telling me all the inaccuracies were in it compared to the story

-> paparossi Dont sound too surprised

Liked by derekm, AaronHotchner and 232 others

(y/n) i might've gotten a little carried away

View all 31 comments

emilyprenty that should've been me

-> (y/n) come over.

-> derekm @/spencerreid1 you're just gonna let this happen??

-> spencerreid1 I've come to realize there's nothing I can do.

jjareau And to think we thought he'd never get any action

Liked by alexblake, princesspennyg, and 184 others

(y/n) found this gem going through my pictures, it was too good not to post

View all 29 comments

emilprenty JUMPSCARE WARNING

-> (y/n) ⚠️

-> paparossi After the 30 something years I've worked in the FBI, this is probably the scariest thing I've seen

-> spencerreid1 :(

spencerreid1 Why does Derek look like he's going to kick you down like one of his doors?

-> (y/n) HAHAHAHAHAHAH DID YOU JUST MAKE A JOKE SPENCER REID???

-> derekm at least i don't look like sixth grader at his graduation of middle school

-> (y/n) @/derekm yeah and you look like his bully that steals his lunch money

what other things do you guys wanna see? there's a bunch of stuff i can do similar to this just lmk!!!

[parkersbliss]

your instagram when dating spencer reid

inspired by @/happiesthotch @/hotchaways :)

Liked by garciagirlie, alexblake and 374 others

ssa(y/n) love his clown feet 🫶🏼

view all 27 comments

spencephd love her baby feet ❤️

rossisrotini I didn’t know they could be nice to each other

→ jjareau she texted me after posting this and said he slam dunked her with a pillow

→ ms_emilyp @/ssa(y/n) use two exclamation points if you need help

→ ssa(y/n) HELP‼️‼️‼️‼️

→ agenthotch wheels up in 20, you heard her

d.morgan oh to see pretty boys feet

→ ssa(y/n) my eyes only 😡😡

→ spencephd im not sure how to feel about this

→ garciagirlie I could get you photos of lots of feet

→ agenthotch I think we need to have a talk about this

→ garciagirlie i meant my feet with fresh new nail polish* 😁

→ agentahotch 😐

liked by therealellew, jjareau and 427 others

ssa(y/n) pov garcia & morgan are on the phone

view all 33 comments

garciagirlie where’s my chocolate thunder

→ d.morgan right here baby girl 😏

→ spencephd we can’t escape them

→ ssa(y/n) but we can do worse ;)

→ ms_emilyp @/agentahotch do something about this

→ agenthotch no

rossisrotini I beg of you both to not become like them

→ spencephd now you’re just tempting us to do worse 🤷‍♂️

→ ssa(y/n) I await those glorious hands of yours, doctor

→ jjareau what have we started

→ ssa(y/n) ITS FOR A MASSAGE CHILL 😭

→ d.morgan could’ve fooled me tbh

liked by itsmattsimmons, d.morgan and 503 others

ssa(y/n) someone didn’t pass the physical fit test

view all 17 comments

d.morgan is he looking for a trainer 👀👀

→ garciagirl no. never again with you.

→ spencephd literally leave

→ jjareau we’re doing just fine without you 😘

ms_emilyp reid looking to outrun his paperwork

→ ssa(y/n) more like reid running to catch some bitches

→ spencephd so I’m chasing after you?

→ ssa(y/n) 😡😡

agenthotch who’s not doing paperwork 🤨

→ rossisrotini exposed like the lazy kids you are

liked by spencephd, agenthotch and 292 others

ssa(y/n) got my bitch <3

view all 19 comments

Spencephd 😐

→ ssa(y/n) notice how you didn’t correct me

→ spencephd can’t even tie her own shoes smh

→ ssa(y/n) LMAOOO that’s what you’re for SIMP

garciagirlie the love birds are at it again

→ jjareau love birds sounds more like enemies these days

→ d.morgan isn’t that the fun in it?

→ ssa(y/n) yes, he literally just threw the shoe at my face 😇

rossisrotini @/agenthotch got another case for ya

→ ms_emilyp that’s the sound of the police reid 🚨

→ spencephd you know statistically, it takes the police an average of 7 minutes to get to the scene. I could be long gone by then.

→ d.morgan I can hear him through my phone

→ spencephd :)

liked by alvarezluke, rossisrotini and 338 others

ssa(y/n) candid of my favorite nerd 🤭

view all 31 comments

spencephd I’ve been exposed 😟

→ ssa(y/n) wanna be exposed in a different way?

d.morgan looks like we got competition @/garciagirlie

→ garciagirlie 😏 been exposed for years to you baby

ms_emilyp 🤢 I’m moving back to london fr

→ jjareau take me with 🙏🏼🙏🏼

→ garciagirlie GIRLS TRIP

→ ssa(y/n) LETS GO

→ ms_emilyp not you ❤️

rossisrotini 🥂 cheers you two but keep it in your pants

→ ssa(y/n) hard to when he’s this fine 😫

→ spencephd actually die

agenthotch this is what we call a hostile work environment

→ d.morgan you weren’t even there for that hotch

→ agentahotch I have my ways

→ garciagirlie please don’t bring back such traumatizing memories

→ jjareau clearly we need to have this conversation again

— END —

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a/n finally got around to writing some criminal minds stuff 😫

[princesshalocm]

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Howdy howdy, if requests are still open, can I ask headcanon about the BAU team when someone who have the name has them join the team ? (I have the same name as one of them and I'm just curious)

Ignore it if you don't want to write it !!

Have a nice day !

-Crow Anon

Ooo this is an amazing idea, of course! So I hope you don't mind, I chose Spencer

When you first join, the fact that you and Spencer have the same name absolutely messes with their mind

Despite being an elite group of profilers, it's absolutely mind blowing to them

"Hey, Spence-" You both look over, the same curious expression on your faces

Morgan constantly asking if you're sure you're not the same person carbon copied

Eventually though, you both start assuming that it's for the other Spencer

Which is not helpful for the team when they're trying to get your attention

Sometimes you and Spencer (the other Spencer, Reid) would argue about what Spencer they were talking to (particularly if it was something neither of you wanted to do)

Hotch starts going on a last name basis alone - which doesn't help, what with your last name being Reed.

To which Hotch, when he realises his mistake, sighs deeply

Prentiss starts calling you Spencer 1 and Spencer 2 - which leads to a light hearted argument about who should be 1 and who should be 2

Other Spencer claims he should be Spencer 1 because he was on the team first

You argue you should be Spencer 1 because you're the better Spencer

The snowballs a little more until JJ has to intervene with threats of grounding

Sometimes you swap your badges to annoy Hotch and Rossi

It really annoys Hotch and Rossi - sometimes you do it without telling Spencer just to watch him groan

Morgan finds it absolutely hilarious

[jelle-ified]

Can criminal minds characters do a flip?

JJ: yes, she can also jump freakishly high because of her leg strength

Elle: almost, she always lands on her butt. does a mean front walkover though

Emily: yes. no further elaboration.

Spencer: no, tried once and broke his tailbone

Gideon: he used to but age was his downfall

Rossi: can’t. never could. but he gaslights everyone that he can

Morgan: yes. it’s his reaction to everything. He won a bet? Frontflip. He arrested the wrong person? Backflip.

Penelope: no but she wishes she could. tried once on her bed and fell off..

Tara: she’s never tried it, would learn it super fast though

Alex: can only do a front flip. Learned it from some college student that insisted, she still doesn’t know why

Kate: yes. she gives me the vibes of someone that did gymnastics

Matt: yes, but he’s secretly scared of backflips. Taught his kids how to do one

Luke: yes. it’s also his go-to reaction. But he can only do a backflip

Hotch: he tried it once when he was younger, he couldn’t so he just never tried again.

[gas-stationprincess]

spencer reid wearing mix matching socks for good luck while being the only character who consistently has the worst luck in the entire series makes me think mf shouldve matched his socks😭😭😭

[amekeii]

Criminal Minds Characters as Cocktails

SPENCER REID - ESPRESSO MARTINI vodka vanilla | coffee liqueur | brown sugar syrup | espresso

AARON HOTCHNER - OLD FASHIONED bourbon | sugar | angostura bitters | orange twist

EMILY PRENTISS - AVIATION gin | maraschino liqueur | simple syrup | lemon juice | crème de violette | cherry

DAVID ROSSI - NEGRONI campari | gin | sweet vermouth

PENELOPE GARCIA - PORNSTAR MARTINI vodka vanilla | passoã | passion fruit puree | pineapple juice | passion fruit half | prosecco

JJ JENNIFER JAREAU - GIN & TONIC opihr gin | yuzu tonic | lime wheel

DEREK MORGAN - MAI TAI dark rum | white rum | orange curacao | almond syrup | lime juice

PART 2

[lesbiantaylorswiftstan]

"[character] would be a swiftie" character is a 50 year old law enforcement officer, no they would not

[minswriting]

criminal minds characters as quotes my household have said

i live with a roommate and my sibling so here are some quotes we have said that i think the criminal minds characters would totally say lol

gideon - “hey you win some and you lose some. and you? you lost your dad.”

rossi - “Just remember he doesn’t get love if he doesn’t put on the glove”

aaron - “don’t twerk in a cemetery.”

derek - “Mans looks like a Q-Tip”

emily - *about two unsubs* “they look like they married their thirteen year old cousin”

j.j - “you should kink shame a little bit”

spencer - “they used to crush their testicles with rocks. anyways, this pasta is delicious.”

penelope - “Nooo I don’t want to watch Scream with you guys. It turns me on”

[beelmons]

BAU men salsa dancing headcanons

Rossi is surprisingly good at it, although his movements are more on the stiff side. He does mostly the basic steps, like an uncle dancing at a wedding. He will spin you once or twice and even pull one of those leaning endings just as a show off.

Hotch is stiff, like, spaghetti before boiling stiff. The first time he dances, it's an awkward mess, although he grasped the steps pretty quickly. The second time, he is just as stiff but with more technique, he probably took a salsa class on the side. Basic steps only, playfully spins you off beat just so he can hug you, has a blast because he sees you have a blast.

Morgan is good, mad good. He will know how to spin you, cha cha cha, drop it and reverse it. He was probably forced to learn when Garcia was too shy to go to a class by herself, and surprise, surprise, he was excellent at it. If you are not careful, he might be even better than you. Can take it slow and simple if that's the mood, he is just happy to shake his but a bit.

Spencer knows the origins, raise, and fall of salsa dancing. He knows the names of all the steps by heart, and even the speed at which his body should move. Little problem? It just doesn't. He stumbles and steps on feet time and again, he won't look up from looking at his feet as he recites what the movements are supposed to look like. When he finally relaxes, he can sort of do it well, it's awkward and very basic, it's more you taking the lead, spinning him, and moving his arms, but it's nonetheless fun. He also has a last although he ended up breathless.

Luke is effortless, my man is latino, so you know he was peer pressured into learning growing up. He sings while he dances and will always take the lead. He prefers the simple, more casual steps, though if he gets lost in the music, he will begin to show off. He definitely smiles the entire time like a good performer, and will even do the 'two at a time' steps if any of the girls join you om the dance floor.

Matt is similar to Rossi, he got some of the steps down, but won't go as far as doing over complicated spins. He is elegant and less stiff, since he is tall, like, very tall, it looks a bit clumsy, but he always enjoys himself when he is dancing. He will, however, get tired pretty quickly, even when he is used to all types of cardio, the dancing just takes too much brain effort.

[allisluv]

share your CM headcanons bc you dont get enough CM requests for how big of a fan you are

you know what, baby? you're so fucking right. my requests for cm are open or if you even just wanna chat about the show, my inbox is there for a reason lovelies! headcanons under the cut <3

penelope makes everybody take the hogwarts house quiz every single christmas and nobody fucking knows why. rossi's answer changes every year, too!

jj once went out with the bau to a bar and drank too many crandberry vodkas and threw up on hotch's dress shoes. he insisted it was alright but she still feels guilty about it, even years down the line.

derek and emily make so many dark humour jokes to cope with their trauma and hotch is constantly booking them in for psych evaluations LMAO

when spencer found out penelope was scared of spiders, he set up a prank in her office. she was hysterical and derek would not stop glaring at him and giving him the silent treatment long after penelope forgave him.

penelope and spencer are both autistic -- coming from an autistic person.

elle's favourite game is clue or cluedo and no one wants to play with her anymore because she has the answer figured out in like two guesses.

emily, penelope and jj have a girls night at least once a month and derek is always trying to get in because he's "practically one of the girls."

jj and emily are the same clothing size so whenever they go out of the state, they bring one suitcase for the both of them and just wear each others outfits. in my mind, that's how hotch and derek figure out that the two of them are an item.

derek had a horrible hairstyle as a teen and when the team visited chicago, his mom showed them pictures. he's never been able to live it down. bonus points if it was a mohawk or something.

emily introduced rossi to taylor swift and now it's all he plays in the car, even on high speed chases. his favourite albums are red and reputation. he loves the song endgame.