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theater-for-jocks · 7 months ago

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Hi I’m chel I’m 30 wholeass years old and I accidentally got into wwe

some notes:

Christ what do I even do on here. Occasional live reactions, occasional general rambles, ple predictions/reactions, occasional critique, frequent bisexual breakdowns and longing gazes at the merch store. Please help me I’ve been here for four slutty slutty months and accidentally pavloved myself like five different ways.

I DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT MOST OF THESE GUYS ON A PERSONAL LEVEL, SORRY IF I CHEER ON SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY SUCKS.

i love analysis and am incapable of thinking about stuff solely from a OH WOW FIGHT GOOD standpoint so i will talk about kayfabe or booking decisions or narrative choices A Lot, especially in terms of WHY a specific choice was made.

Girl idek what my stance on ship stuff is anymore, I joke (?) about ships all the time, just don’t be TOO serious abt it (side-eyes certain jhea fans, side-eyes certain livdom fans) and we’re gold. Will admit to having a soft spot for Fraxiom and also rhiyo. I don’t know why.

OH I GUESS RELATEDLY I love yapping about fandom conceptually and my mental inability to engage with the more fanwork-focused sides here means that I have more ability to do that. This does mean that I yap about (blatant) fanbase misogyny and (subtle/subconscious/probably-unintentional-but-KINDA-coming-off-that-way) racism from time to time. Sorry.

i will rarely use names (and even then almost never use full names) outside of reblogs because as broken as this site is stuff WILL come up and i don't want to be used as narrative discourse fuel. or be perceived if any of these guys (gender neutral) have tumblr accounts.

Errrrrrr if I’m down bad on here that’s between me my one follower and my fiancé who apparently just shows up every so often to read my thoughts and/or laugh at me. Hello darling. Can’t wait till I’m officially living with you so you can watch me try to figure out how to lay on our floor in gay anguish while also staying comfy. AH FUCK I THOUGHT I HAD MORE TIME

tags and shit:

#hot takes station: the tag for me to complain about takes i see online. twitter is a hellscape.

#chel critiques sometimes: the tag where I test out my wrestling critique skills

#[i’ll figure this out later too]: PLE predictions/reactions

Wrestlers themselves are generally tagged “file under: [nickname/gimmick]”, chosen at my discretion. I CONSTANTLY forget to use tags.

#my worstie: my Dave Meltzer hate(?) tag

#the when not if: I think there’s some context clues but you’ll know exactly what this means when it happens.

space for other tags here

faves etc. under the cut, non exhaustive because I love almost everyone

Top SEVEN IT KEEPS GROWING: Damian Priest, Rhea Ripley, Jey Uso, Sami Zayn (the nexus of doomed yaoi), Bayley, Liv Morgan, and Jordynne Grace. 1 and 2 have been pretty consistent, 3 through 7 kinda rotate in my mind so they’re numbered that way more out of convenience/the order i added them (and so I can use a number rather than name someone). I don’t CARE if Liv is a heel I love her

Others I love to watch: ZELINA VEGA, ALPHA ACADEMY (especially maxxine my beloved mwah mwah), DAMAGE CTRL, Kevin Owens, Bianca Belair, Jade Cargill, Lyra Valkyria, Naomi, Street Profits, Candice LeRae, LA Knight, Wyatt Sicks, ANDRADE WHY DID I FORGET HIM, PIPER NIVEN, I FUCKING FORGOT SETH ROLLINS FOR THE FIFTH FUCKING TIME, Braun Strowman!!!, the war raiders!!!!, ALEXA FUCKIN BLISS

SPECIAL NXT CATEGORY: Thea Hall (LET HER KICK RIDGE HOLLAND'S ASS), Tatum Paxley, Fraxiom (is fine), Kelani Jordan, GIULIA HOW DID I FORGET GIULIA, JE’VON EVANS HOW DID I FORGET HIM TOO, the D’Angelo Family (somewhat begrudgingly, like I love them but I want to hate their gimmick so bad), the girlies!!! (Lash and Jakara), Lexis King promoted to this section because I’ve had to admit that I actually like him.

Love to Hate: Tiffany Stratton, Gunther (no longer as angry with him because I do like his whole deal actually but I will boo tomato him forever), Finn Balor specifically (bro go to couples therapy goddamn but also the fact that you apparently approve of that one sims thing is REALLY funny), Chad Gable and the rest of his clown lineup ("American Made" god shut up), Karrion Kross specifically (let me kiss your wife dammit, also go kiss my fiancé or whatever), idk if Drew counts because it’s less that I love to hate him and more that him seething about losing is really funny and I love clowning on his five minute whc reign, Carmelo Hayes but it’s less “hate” and more “this fuckin guy”

Special NXT category 2 electric boogaloo: Ethan Page -.-, Roxanne Perez but it’s kinda complicated w/ her like I GUESS she’s a heel but one of those heels it’s hard to root against? WENDY CHOO I LOVE HER, Fatal Influence!!!! How did I forget them!!!!

Special Hell Category: I am alarmingly invested in Dom Mysterio’s future development but also every time he speaks I cry a little bit. I know that’s the point but god. My guy please break up with Liv and find yourself I really wanna see what you become when your storyline fully centers on you! ALSO CHELSEA GREEN. SHE ANNOYS ME SO BAD BUT I LOVE HER.

For legal purposes this is a joke: this is a Logan Paul hateblog. He’s frustratingly good at being a heel but also I have been around the internet long enough to Remember Things.

I’m not sure whether my constant state of annoyance at The Rock is purely a kayfabe thing but I do get very frustrated at him just doing whatever the fuck he wants. I know that’s the point but still.

This is not really a Dave Meltzer hate blog I don’t have an issue with the guy as a person I just don’t think he’s very good at his job. (Update: this might be a dave meltzer hate blog.)

THIS IS HOWEVER A VINCE MCMAHON HATE BLOG. AS GOD INTENDED. JESUS CHRIST.

Well I guess I should prep a pinned post while I watch

#this will be updated frequently.#that last point is so fucking important FUCK vince mcmahon for both the actual ('alleged') crimes and the terrible treatment of everyone #and the blatant favoritism and also for refusing to let talents take on movie roles when they’re BARELY DOING ANYTHING ON THE MAIN ROS(

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