#datingculture

[aclinicineus1]

Why Modern Day Dating Sucks? The Brutal Truth Revealed

Why Modern Day Dating Sucks? The Brutal Truth Revealed In this video, we're going to talk about why modern day dating sucks. We're going to discuss the reasons why dating has become so difficult and how we can fix it. We're going to discuss the problems with online dating and the way that it's changed the way we look for love. We're also going to talk about the importance of meeting people in person and how that can be the key to finding the right partner. So if you're unhappy with the way that you're dating, then this video is for you! #moderndaydating #datingculture #hookupculture #datingnightmare #findlove source https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxrD0U0bNc8

[constantly-chaotic-and-confused]

I want to join tinder for the game so bad but I am not remotely interested in dating culture and would feel so guilty being on there not serious and ruining it for everyone else

[1stlatinwomen]

Make your Latina the happiest girl in the world on your anniversary with this guide! Click here to learn how!

[loveinotherwords]

why do we do that

give our bodies away

when we know

how it will end

lick my thighs

and squeeze my neck

I know this night

you’ll soon forget

I’ll say it was casual

but it never really is

you know the way my hips feel

thrusting into you at dawn

but do you know 

that my favorite color is yellow

because it reminds me of sunshine

and how I love the way the sun feels 

on the back of my neck 

or that I broke my arm when I was a kid

I had to get two casts

probably not

but you know that

I’m a good fuck

on a Tuesday night

[ebonix]

Relevant today more than then. #DatingCulture https://www.instagram.com/p/CDrZxGKDcOM0iFCOwy0Bp5rQIMZOhWylXy1aZM0/?igshid=10of41p12s8kb

[marisadonnelly]

Call me crazy, but I want to have real connections. I want to care about people, and have them care about me. I want to date, but not just because I’m bored or lonely, but because there’s intentions and purpose involved. I want to let someone in. I want to trust. I want to know where this is going, and if there’s a point before getting invested. ⠀ ⠀ Because honestly, life’s too damn short for meaningless.⠀

[experiment-love-blog]

Ah, the ups and downs of INTERNATIONAL LOVE <3

[haikantwithyou-blog]

[nattiily]

Upon evaluating the whole dating and relationship situation my coworker told me I make myself too available and too accessible on top of putting all my eggs in one basket. See, it’s hard for me because when I am getting to know someone, I really like to really get to know someone. I like to feel- even if it’s strained sometimes. In investing this energy its exhausting for me to extend myself to other people. So usually when I find one guy I feel it’s really just that. And because I find one, I zero in, and I divulge into getting to know them forreal I make myself available to them. In my mind there’s nothing wrong with my process…that is until I get played. Dating culture today hurts people like me. That instant and cut throat cutting people off, I don’t fare well with. On top of that I like to move off emotions/my heart and my pride is nowhere to be found. Not sure whose right, if there is a right? Or if it’s all wrong but I know that regardless of the heartbreak my soul is relentless and still open to any and all possibilities. I’m just typing words don’t mind me

[ignisiu]

Do you think that one of the reasons why dating has gotten weird in the digital world is because moving on is so much harder. Me and my friends often talk about hook-up culture as a result of having more options which certainly has merits. But it is also harder to move on. You can check your ex's instagram and facebook, look back at messages and easily contact them again. You can keep the images you took and you are only ever a second away from bouncing back.

Sure you can compare this to dating someone in the same town but it isn't really true. Before the internet you couldn't see the person in the middle of the night when you were sad. You couldn't revisit so many conversations. Maybe you had a letter or two or some printed photos if you dated a long time. But nowadays you have photos of people from day one of dating them.

I think it screws with us because letting go becomes harder and thus to protect ourselves we have to either make it extreme or we have to accept bouncing back from time to time. It is like always having snacks at home while trying not to eat them, one weak moment and you are back again. Maybe it is as much of a culprit of datingculture as the availability of people

[gravityblue]

https://ift.tt/2QzvezH

Photo By DWilliams | Pixabay #mother'sday #mom #mother #momlife #posters #dating #greencard #lovelife #anniversarygifts #mum-life #datingculture #culturalcelebration #posterdesign #vertical #anniversaryflowers #growthdesign #mumlife #photographergifts https://ift.tt/303OEQb

[marnichristineart-blog]

Finished this quick self portrait yesterday for my #husband. Its called "Catfish" and is a celebration of #selfies in trying to put your best face forward in #contemporary #datingculture also we watch @mtv catfish quite a bit lately and that is so #mood for this piece..I love that show. Btw on this #nofilter #iwokeuplikethis #naturallight #feelingcute #painting #art #acrylicpainting #artshare #arthub #tumblrart #viralarts #impressionism #painterly #figurativeart #acrylicart #acryliconcanvas #liquitex

[smb3]

Ghosts

The opposite of love isn’t hate; it is indifference. Ghosting, for those of you who haven’t yet experienced it, is having someone that you believe cares about you, whether it be a friend or someone you are dating, disappear from contact without any explanation at all. No phone call or email, not even a text. Ghosting isn’t new—people have long done disappearing acts—but years ago this kind of behavior was considered limited to a certain type of scoundrel. In today’s datingculture being ghosted is a phenomenon that approximately 50 percent of men and women have experienced—and an almost equal number have done the ghosting.1 Despite ghosting's commonality, the emotional effects can be devastating, and particularly damaging to those who already have fragile self-esteem.

Why do people ghost?

People who ghost are primarily focused on avoiding their own emotional discomfort and they aren’t thinking about how it makes the other person feel. The lack of social connections to people who are met online also means there are less social consequences to dropping out of someone’s life. The more it happens, either to themselves or their friends, the more people become desensitized to it and the more likely they are to do it to someone else.

“I didn't understand exactly how I actually felt at the time, so instead of trying to talk it out, I ghosted.” 2

“I used to disappear when it was all I thought it was [a fling], or I got scared of finding what I wanted…Or some kind of fear factor from a past relationship kicks in.” 2

“Looking through the lens of a coward, passive withdrawal from dating seems like the easiest and nicest route…until it’s done to you.” 3

“I kind of think that it's part of what makes the online dating scene so appealing. Since you don't have friends in common or weren't introduced through some other channel, it's not the end of the world if you just drop off the face of the earth.” 4

“I, for one, consider myself to be an honest and straightforward person. And yet I’ve ghosted...And I’ve told myself, time and time again, that it’s all the fault of the toxic dating culture we’ve created. And at the end of the day, I think that’s what we’re all telling ourselves.” 5

How does it feel to be ghosted?

For many people ghosting can result in feelings of being disrespected, used and disposable. If you have known the person beyond more than a few dates then it can be even more traumatic. When someone we love and trust disengages from us it feels like a very deep betrayal.

“I felt like an idiot. Like I had been played a fool. And more so I felt disrespected. Take the romantics away, to have a great connection with a new friend and then all of a sudden never hear from them again? That’s painful and really disappointing. No one deserves to be blown off.” 6

“It still felt a bit like someone had punched me in the gut when it happened. The disregard is insulting. The lack of closure is maddening. You move on, but not before your self-esteem takes a hit. The only thing worse than being broken up with is realizing that someone didn’t even consider you worth breaking up with.” 7

“Going from texting every day and seeing each other a couple times a week to nothing without the slightest hint of why was a kick in the gut.” 8

“Ghosting is one of the cruelest forms of torture dating can serve up.” 9

Why does it feel so bad?

Social rejection activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain.10 In fact, you can reduce the emotional pain of rejection with a pain medication like Tylenol.11 But in addition to this biological link between rejection and pain, there are some specific factors about ghosting that contribute to the psychological distress.

Ghosting gives you no cue for how to react. It creates the ultimate scenario of ambiguity. Should you be worried? What if they are hurt and lying in a hospital bed somewhere?  Should you be upset? Maybe they are just a little busy and will be calling you at any moment. You don’t know how to react because you don’t really know what has happened. Staying connected to others is so important to our survival that our brain has evolved to have a social monitoring system (SMS) that monitors the environment for cues so that we know how to respond in social situations.12 Social cues allow us to regulate our own behavior accordingly, but ghosting deprives you of these usual cues and can create a sense of emotional dysregulation where you feel out of control.

One of the most insidious aspects of ghosting is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of the relationship you had, it causes you to question yourself. Why didn’t I see this coming? How could I have been such a poor judge of character? What did I do to cause this? How do I protect myself from this ever happening again?  This self-questioning is the result of basic psychological systems that are in place to monitor one’s social standing and relay that information back to the person via feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. When a rejection occurs your self-esteem can drop which social psychologists propose is meant to be a signal that your social belonging is low.13 If you have been through multiple ghostings or if your self-esteem is already low you are likely to experience the rejection as even more painful, and it may take you longer to get over it as people with lower-self-esteem have less natural opioid (pain-killer) released into the brain after a rejection when compared to those whose self-esteem is higher.14

Ghosting is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty.  It essentially renders you powerless and leaves you with no opportunity to ask questions or be provided with information that would help you emotionally process the experience. It silences you and prevents you from expressing your emotions and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem.

Regardless of the ghoster’s intent, ghosting is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars.

How do you move forward?

The important thing to remember is that when someone ghosts you, it says nothing about you or your worthiness for love and everything about the person doing the ghosting. It shows he/she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don't understand the impact of their behavior or worse don’t care. In any case they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you. Be the better person, retain your dignity, and let him/her go peacefully.

Don’t allow someone else’s bad behavior to rob you of a better future by losing your vulnerability and shutting yourself off from another relationship. Keep your energy focused on doing what makes you happy. Know that if you are someone who treats people with respect and integrity then the ghoster simply wasn’t on your wavelength and someone better is coming your way, as long as you keep your heart open and your focus forward.