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melancholy-of-nadia · 9 months ago

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love u lately (m) #8 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately chapter title: #8 - split pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; summary: Your dilemma of trying to decide between Yoongi and Jimin was already stressful enough, but to add Namjoon to the mix, has you slowly falling apart emotionally, mentally and academically. When your university's Annual Valentine's Day Night Market event opens up the opportunity to spend time out with Yoongi and Jimin, will you finally be able to tell them how you feel? Or will your own indecisiveness lead you all to a falling out? warnings: LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR, reader is anxious and stressed throughout this whole chapter, breakdown from stress, fluffy lowkey date stuff, MORE CONFESSIONS, kissing, THE LONG AWAITED THREESOME, MLM kiss, bro helps put on lube on other bro, vaginal fingering, breastplay, ball fondling, eating out, blow job, dick slapping, possessiveness, double vaginal penetration, reader on BC, Yoongi and Jimin reassurance through it, pet names, clit stimulation, double creampie, uh i think that's it a lot happens, oh yeah...eventual angst, alcohol consumption, arguing, pettiness, secrets revealed, namjoon? note: everyone, please say thank you to @daegudrama for editing this chapter and fixing the smut because i can barely write smut! total word count: 14.8k drop date: March 2nd, 2024, 1:30PM PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #7 | Series Masterlist | #9

February 12 [Tuesday]

The atmosphere in your business communications class is tense, and you can feel the pressure of your stressed thoughts hanging over you. You’re supposed to be presenting a case study on a local cafe from your hometown where you used to work at in high school. The topic revolves around marketing and finance initiatives to enhance the cafe's traffic and sales. This includes a presentation and paper deliverable.

You stand at the front of the room, a faint sheen of nervousness glistening on your forehead. The slides projected on the screen behind you outline various strategies to revamp the cafe's image and attract more customers. Yet, your words stumble, and your sentences lack the usual confidence you had the semester prior. Professor Michaelson, a stern figure in the business world who now teaches as a side hobby, observes with a critical eye.

As you fumble through the presentation, you catch the gaze of JB watching you with an expressionless demeanor. Great. Nice to see your ex-crush is silently judging you. He adds to the pressure, making you acutely aware of the less-than-impressive performance you’re delivering. The weight of recent decisions, or lack thereof, regarding Yoongi and Jimin looms over you, clouding your ability to focus on any of your school work these days.

Professor Michaelson raises an eyebrow, signaling his dissatisfaction with your lackluster presentation. "Is there a reason you're not fully engaged today, Y/N?" he questions, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"I, uh, apologize, Professor," You stammer, attempting to regain composure. "It's just been a bit hectic lately."

"Life happens, but it's crucial to maintain professionalism, especially in a business setting." he admonishes. "Proceed with your presentation. We'll discuss your performance afterwards."

The classroom clock ticks away, each second stretching into an eternity. As you continue stumbling through the slides, your mind involuntarily keeps drifting. Fuck, why is it so hard to come up with the right words to say? At some point, you feel like you’re rushing to reach the end without even trying.

“Thank you Y/N, that was enough. Good work.” Prof. Michaelson interrupts right as you’re on your final slide.

Oh no, it was bad bad.

The ordeal finally comes to an end, and you step back to your seat. You always told yourself you wouldn’t let your relationships get in the way of your academics, but now, it finally has. And you are so fucked.

As the class progresses, you try to shake off the lingering embarrassment. Each step feels heavier as you leave the classroom, disappointment with yourself settling like a stone in your chest. Once the class ends, Prof. Michaelson hands you a graded rubric with additional comments. You don’t bother reading them and just rush out of the classroom, feeling tear threatening to roll down your cheeks.

And once you’re out of the building, they do.

Your own letdown sits heavily on your shoulders. In that moment, you wish you could rewind time, erase the awkwardness, and salvage whatever dignity remains. But could you have done any better? As you wipe away a frustrated tear, you can't help but wonder how you let things spiral out of control.

++++++

“Maria! I don’t know what to do!” you exclaim, your voice laced with exaggeration. Amidst the bustling environment of the dining commons, you feel anxious, playfully pushing Hwasa back and forth as the two of you navigate the lunch line. It’s usually not that busy on Tuesdays, but today it is.

Hwasa, undeterred by the apparent crisis, responds with humor, “Switching to my Catholic name?! Oh, girl, you really do need some salvation.” She laughs, effortlessly maneuvering through the crowded space as she fills her tray with an array of buffet options.

“I’m being serious here! I honestly can’t pick either of them and I also can’t give Namjoon an answer. And this whole thing has been bothering me to the point I just failed one of my big projects for business comm!” Frustration bubbles in your tone as you slam your tray down, earning curious glances from other students in line.

“Oh God, okay.” You two walk over to an open table and sit down on opposite sides of each other. “Maybe reject them all? That’s the safer option right? No one will be truly hurt especially because you’re emphasizing not ruining your friendship. And you all move on, date other people and still maintain that friendship! The end.”

“Yeah…” You pick at your food with your fork aimlessly, not making any effort to eat it. “I don’t even know if we could ever be the same as we were before this…deal.” “But were things even the same before you decided to fuck Yoongi?” Your eyes widen, darting around to ensure no familiar faces are within earshot. “Hey, hey we’re in public! Someone we know could hear us.”

Hwasa sighs, lowering her voice. “You were already uncomfortable when Namjoon and Jimin were seeing people and wanted to get more serious with those girls. Yoongi clearly liked you before that party too. I wouldn’t doubt the other two also had those feelings before that, but were just better at hiding it. I don’t think there’s any ‘normal life’ to return to before you all started to address the elephant in the room.”

She’s right.

There was already something there whether you noticed it or not. At some point in time, the idea of liking you was planted in their heads, and eventually growing into love. You just don’t know when and while you hold a lot of love for them, you’ve always pushed the idea of romantic love for them aside as it didn’t seem realistic, or even good to think about. Keeping it platonic was easier anyways.

Up until recently, though, when whatever pent up sexual frustration and desires took charge on your relationships with two of your best friends.

“You’re right. I’m just going to have to acknowledge the risks and deal with the consequences of my horniess and feelings.”

Hwasa chews her food before responding matter-of-factly, “And whatever happens, I will be there to comfort you! You can use my boobs as a pillow and spill your tears onto me.”

You laugh loudly. “Always appreciate knowing you will be there during my lowest lows with your chest as comfort.”

You both finish lunch and head over to her dorm to rest before your next class in an hour.

“So…is your decision coming before or after the Valentine’s Night Market?”

The Valentine’s Night Market. You had totally forgotten that Hwasa invited you and the boys to come by for one of ASU’s – the student org she’s in – annual night market event. It was mixed celebration for Lunar New Years and Valentine’s Day here.

"Oh, Valentine’s Night Market. Totally slipped my mind," you admit, realizing the distraction of your personal matters overshadowed the upcoming event.

Hwasa grins, "Well, I’m tabling and selling kimchi fried rice and hotteok. Do you still have some time to help out a little? Just for the first hour! Jieun will take over after!"

You don’t have any set plans to hang out with Yoongi and Jimin besides saying that Valentine’s Day is the day, so you might as well tell them to come to the event and hang out with you there. It could make things less suspicious to others. You also wonder what Namjoon’s plans are so you can avoid any distractions that day too.

"Yeah, sure, I can help out for a bit. But, let me check with the guys about it." you say, pulling out your phone to send a quick message in the Sanctuary group chat.

You [1:15 PM]: Hey, what plans did you guys have in mind for Valentine’s Day evening? There’s the night market event on campus, and I’m helping Hwasa table for the first hour. You guys should come and we can hang after?

While waiting for their responses, Hwasa continues, "Please! I hope they say yes. Plus, it'll give you time to think about your decision more. Trust me; selling hotteok is like therapy." Your laughter punctuates her words, easing the tension.

Not long after, your two best friends respond back.

Yoongi [1:21 PM]: We wanted to wait to hear what you had in mind and do that, but this sounds good. We’ll be there.

Jimin [1:22 PM]: Yeah, let’s do that. Beats sitting around and overthinking.

With your plans in place, you turn back to Hwasa.

"Looks like I can work the shift!"

“Fuck yeah! I appreciate you helping out, let’s try to get everything sold.”

The anticipation for the event in two days starts building, and you both dive into more detailed planning and strategizing. Hwasa's vibrant personality coupled with her contagious excitement feels motivating, and you find yourself getting into the spirit and readiness to confront your feelings.

++++++++++++

February 14 [Thursday]

If only your anxiety would be weaker than your drive for motivation.

The soft rays of the setting sun filter through your bedroom window, casting a warm glow on the floral print ruched spring short dress you twirl in front of the mirror. It was a gift from Yoongi for Christmas, paired with the long star earrings Jimin gifted you. The whole ensemble makes you feel delicate and coquette. You feel a little embarrassed to find yourself dressing up for this, but you figured if you might as well go all out for what could be the last day you do something like this.

You’re on a mission tonight.

After doing a soft makeup look, you grab your small black flap bag walking downstairs.

You texted the house gc earlier letting them know you'd be out helping at the night market. Hoseok responded saying he'd be there too because his dance club group was doing a cover performance. Seokjin mentioned he’s also going to be there tabling for Kappa Psi Pi. Jungkook and Taehyung were going out bar hopping with a few other guys hoping to get lucky for the night. Jimin and Yoongi said they would be in the library studying for a midterm, which didn’t raise any suspicions, surprisingly.

As for Namjoon…

“Tiny, where are you going all dolled up?”

You are caught off guard by Namjoon's call from the kitchen where he is eating a bowl of cut fruit. He stands leaning against the doorway, looking at you from head to toe, licking his lips after each juicy bite of fruit. Is that melon? When your eyes leave his lips to look into his gaze, you become frozen. Huh? This never happened to you before. What an interesting thing to see how his actions leave you feeling a little nervous now, especially after what he confessed to you not that long ago.

“I’m helping table for V-day night market with Hwasa at 7:00, then I’m going to enjoy the event after my shift.”

Namjoon nods, his gaze holding a mix of understanding and something else. “That…sounds pretty fun.”

“What about you?” Namjoon forgot to respond to the group chat, so you’re curious to hear of his Valentine’s Day plans. You don’t think it will involve him on a date after his confession, so you wonder what else he has in store.

He sets his bowl down and steps closer, whispering near your ear and causing a shiver down your spine. You’re suddenly more alert than you were previously.

“I wanted to spend time with my Honey, but that will have to wait.”

You’ve heard his low raspy voice many times before, but for some reason, it feels very erotic in this moment. If he commanded you with this voice all the time, you would do whatever he pleases. Your breath catches, and questions swirl in your mind. Hold on, what does he mean that will have to wait? For what?

Before you can seek clarification, he adds, “I’m going with Soyoon, John and San to a live art gallery event up in the big city. John’s band friends are going to play.”

“A-Ah, I see.”

He gets up from his leaned position and looks at you softly. Has it been a long time since Namjoon looked at you with that much love and care in his eyes? You feel like he’s become much more serious with you since you started college. This act feels nostalgic.

He pushes a few loose strands behind your ear, “Don’t get jealous okay?” He chuckles, his signature dimples coming into sight.

“Huh?! I wasn’t even thinking that!” you stammer, attempting to brush off the implication despite failing as your face blushes.

In this moment, he pulls you into a tight hug. Your cheek presses against the fabric of his gray shirt, and you soak in the comfort he provides. It feels so nice. So safe. After a long time, in his arms, you feel at home.

“Well whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there no matter what.”

You assume he’s talking about you answering his confession from the trip.

Whenever you’re ready, he says.

“Thank you Joonie.” You sigh deeply into his chest, words sounding a little muffled.

Could it be that Namjoon’s the true answer to all your problems, not Yoongi or Jimin? But it still doesn’t feel right. No matter who you end up ultimately picking, you still feel like you won’t be happy. Even if the other two guys say they will be happy, will they actually be okay with seeing their two best friends happily in love?

And if you end up with one of them, what’s to say the relationship will last? What if you two fall out of love for each other and ultimately break up? Will you be all alone at the end this time, no best friends to lean back on to help you rise up once again? You hate to admit how much Yeonjun’s after image lingers in your mind whenever you think about the future of a relationship. Despite how he was just a brief happening in the summer breeze, the lasting impact of his final words remain.

You bid goodbye to Namjoon, who leaves first as John’s ‘96 Toyota Corolla stops in front of the house to pick him up. Soyoon waves to you excitedly from the back seat as she sits next to San.

As the car fades in the distance, you walk in the opposite direction to campus.

After walking for about 8 minutes, the quad comes alive as you step onto its paved pathways, filled with the vibrant tapestry of the Valentine's Night Market. Strings of twinkling lights drape across the trees, casting a warm glow. Stalls adorned with heart-shaped decorations and bursts of red and pink hues line the paths, creating a whimsical atmosphere.

As you immerse yourself in this enchanting setting, a mixture of emotions washes over you. The sweet aroma of various treats wafts through the air, enticing passersby. Stalls offer an array of delectable delights, from cotton candy in shades of pastel to heart-shaped cookies intricately decorated with icing. The scent of hotteok wafts from Hwasa and Jieun's stall, where they expertly flip the sweet korean treat on a sizzling griddle.

“Oh! Honey! You’re here–” Hwasa pauses, checking you out from head to toe. “Looking cute as fuck, bestie!”

“Thank you.” You reply sheepishly, using your arms to flatten your dress from any wrinkles. “The whole setup for the night market looks so cool this year!”

You look up and all around, colorful lanterns sway gently overhead with wishes and messages from students written on small notes. The gentle breeze causes them to dance in the night, adding to the ambience of the market. The gentle hum of laughter and conversation blends with the cheerful melodies of the band playing at the very center of the quad.

A few Carnival rides spin and twirl at the far end of the quad, their lights tracing intricate patterns against the night sky. The Ferris wheel, glimmering in pink and red, stands tall, offering couples a romantic view of the campus from above. Nearby, a carousel with whimsical creatures invites laughter from those enjoying a nostalgic ride.

Various booths offer interactive experiences, adding an extra layer of fun to the festivities. A photobooth machine captures candid moments against a backdrop of sparkling hearts, while a fortune-teller booth held by the Harry Potter club promises glimpses into the future. Students crowd around games of skill and chance, trying their hand at winning prizes that range from plush toys to heart-shaped trinkets.

“There’s carnival rides too?” You gasp seeing them in a section beside the built stage at the center of the quad.

“Yeah, we got a few international students who joined this year willing to fund for better stuff.” She leans in close to your ear and points carefully at two people named Giselle and Ten standing around another booth. “So you better go enjoy it after! We also have a few bands playing, so even more reason to stick around.”

“That’s so cool! I’ll keep that in mind!”

Hwasa hands you a cute apron with hearts and stars from a box below the table. "Okay. Time to make those hotteoks, bestie! I have Peniel and Junny handling the kimchi fried rice, so don’t worry about that."

You walk around to enter the tent then tie the apron around your waist. You stand next to the griddle gradually heating up. Hwasa takes charge of coordinating orders and managing the flow of customers. The scent of sizzling batter and sweet fillings fills the air as you expertly flip the hotteoks, ensuring they are cooking to perfection.

Peniel stands in the next table over, clad in a stylish apron with the words "Best Chef in the World" emblazoned on it, working diligently at the adjacent stall, skillfully frying up batches of savory kimchi fried rice. Junny sits while on his phone as he waits for people to come by and order. The enticing aroma of Korean spices wafts through the air, drawing in hungry students with each tantalizing whiff.

After a while of a couple of orders coming in, Hwasa glances at her watch and nudges you. "I need to run to another booth to get more change. Can you handle this for a bit?"

"Uh, sure!" you respond, taking the cash box and flashing a reassuring smile. As Hwasa disappears into the bustling crowd, you focus on the task at hand, jotting down the few orders you get and going back to the grill. Dammit, why did she have to leave you like this until God knows when?

Suddenly, two familiar figures approach the stall, dressed in outfits that catch your eye.

"Angel isn’t getting any orders." Yoongi speaks first with a grin, his eyes lighting up with surprise and amusement.

Jimin chuckles, “I guess it’s a slow night for our darling."

“H-Hey–” You pause as you check them out.

Yoongi sports a black bomber jacket that complements his laid-back aura. Underneath, he wears a simple white tee, creating a clean and modern look. Paired with dark jeans and sleek Airforces, his overall ensemble has your eyes glued to him. His hair is also in a bun, which you hadn’t seen him do before. Has his hair grown that much?

When you turn to glance at Jimin you see he’s opted for a varsity jacket that injects a dose of sporty charm into his outfit. Jimin’s black hair is slowly catching up to the same length as Yoongi’s. The jacket, with embroidered details and a slightly worn appearance adds character to his look. Beneath the jacket, Jimin wears a snug-fitting black shirt, with distressed jeans and comfortable converse sneakers to complete the look.

They look so fucking good. The urge to pounce on them is high, and you wonder if it’s your hormones talking. They’ve been yapping all day keeping you at your wits ends. You wish you were done with your shift so you can go run off with them, but you still have another 25 minutes to go. Lost in thought, you don’t realize that your gaze lingers on them for more than a mere moment. It isn’t until Yoongi notices and chuckles. Shit, they’re going to tease

"Cat got your tongue?" he teases, a smirk playing on his lips.

You roll your eyes, trying to mask the blush creeping up on your cheeks. "Uh, I'm just appreciating the fashion show you two decided to put on tonight."

Jimin grins, nudging Yoongi. "Well, you know we always dress to impress.” Jimin jolts slightly as he remembers something “Oh right! Here, we got you something.”

Jimin holds out a small bouquet of pink roses, their sweet fragrance wafting through the air. "These are for you,"

Yoongi follows suit, "And these are from me. We thought they might brighten up your evening."

The corners of Yoongi's lips lift into a warm smile as he reaches behind him, handing you a small vibrant bouquet of sunflowers – a burst of yellow that seems to carry the sunshine itself.

Your heart swells with gratitude as you accept the flowers. "Thank you both," you express genuinely, fingers gently tracing the petals of the sunflowers. "They're beautiful, just like the two of you."

Jimin’s cheeks tint with a subtle blush, and Jimin chuckles, playfully nudging him. "Looks like our darling is smooth with words too. Must be how you’re getting customers tonight"

As you place the bouquets in the back table, you're drawn back to the present, realizing you're still on your shift. "Oh! No, actually, tabling has been pretty slow overall!" you exclaim, eager to change the subject to calm your heart down. "Hwasa's off getting change. But is there anything I can get you guys while you're here?"

"Can we get you now?" Yoongi bluntly asks.

Yet again, you find yourself caught off guard by his boldness. He never used to be like this, but ever since you two started this deal, you feel like you awakened another side of him.

“Sorry boys,” You shut down the flirting efforts, instead playing hard to get. “Unless you wanna help me sell these hot…buns? Then maybe I could finish faster and go?”

"You know what, Honey? We'll help you out," Yoongi declares, rolling up his sleeves with a mischievous grin.

Jimin joins in, "Yeah, we can't let you work too hard on Valentine's Day."

You chuckle, appreciating their willingness to lend a hand. “Come around back and get to work then!”

This actually proves to be a good idea for you. Once they start working, they start to bring in a crowd of people. The two men take turns flipping hotteoks, playfully teasing each other and engaging customers with their charisma. Jimin, with his infectious smile, handles customers with so much ease, while Yoongi adopts an exaggerated seriousness as he grills, drawing amused glances from onlookers. You’re left in awe at the efforts of your best friends and how reliable they are.

When Hwasa comes back, she’s amused at the sight bringing in so much traction.

As you all finish with a good chunk of the orders, she finally steps inside the tent and you hand her the stack of orders you all took. “Thanks to these two, we've made an impressive number of sales. I think this is my cue to go?” You look at her with stars in your eyes, hoping that this will be enough t satisfy the greedy tiger that is the treasurer of ASU, Ahn Hyejin

“I guess you have done your part, Y/N.” She turns to face Yoongi and Jimin. “Now, go enjoy the night with her! I have some people coming in at 8 to handle things from here."

You and your three best friends nod at each other and leave the stall to go explore the rest of the night market, which is now filled with more people. Couples stroll hand in hand, sharing stolen glances beneath the glow of the market lights. You wonder if you’ll ever get to experience something like that. Laughter erupts from other corners filled with various groups of friends exploring diverse offerings. Everyone’s creating memories that will linger long after the night has passed. Will this night be a good memory for you three as well?

In that moment of many thoughts, you feel Yoongi and Jimin’s fingers gently interlace with yours. Oh? Not “Oh” in a confused way, but “Oh” as a casual remark of an action that’s filled with normalcy. It’s something that feels just so natural for you three for as long as you’ve known each other. Your hands in theirs as you weave through the lively crowd of the night market embraced with its infectious energy leaves you feeling at ease.

"You look adorable in that dress, Y/N. We didn't even notice what you were wearing under the apron earlier," Jimin remarks, flashing his signature eye smile as he stops walking. Yoongi chimes in, "Yeah, the gifts we got you suit you well."

Blushing at their compliments, you glance down at your outfit, feeling grateful for their attention to detail. “O-Oh, thank you. I just felt like it was the right day to wear it.”

See? There’s times where comments, no matter how normal they may seem for long time friends, will actually get you flustered. Damn their words of affirmation hitting you right where you feel it.

As you wander through the stalls, Jimin spots a photobooth and suggests capturing a few memories together. His eyes gleam mischievously as he proposes, "Hey, why don't we take some photos? You know, like old times."

“Like the times we would take photos in the photobooth after we saw a movie at that run down theater in middle school?” You giggle.

“Exactly like that. You would always make us take those!” Yoongi reminisces.

In the spirit of spontaneity and nostalgia, you agree, and soon, you three find the empty photobooth with a charming backdrop, pay the small fee and enter it.

The first photo captures all three of you in silly poses. Yoongi throws a peace sign, Jimin puckers his lips in an exaggerated kissy face, and you make bunny ears behind Yoongi's head. Laughter erupts as Jimin clicks the photo, freezing that moment of carefree camaraderie.

For the second shot, you find yourself sandwiched between Jimin and Yoongi, each of them throwing a peace sign while you sport an exaggerated surprised expression.

For the final shot, Jimin eyes Yoongi, seemingly having a pose idea that you’re unsure of. Yoongi nods curiously. Jimin positions himself on one side of you, and Yoongi on the other. Milliseconds before the camera clicks, Jimin and Yoongi simultaneously plant soft kisses on your cheeks. After the shutter goes off, the moment is frozen in time on the strip as it comes out of the photo booth machine. For a split second, you're caught off guard, the warmth of their lips leaving a lingering sensation on your skin. The shock registers on your face, captured perfectly in the photograph.

"Wait, what!" you exclaim, your eyes widening in shock.

"Surprise!" Jimin grins, stepping out to grab the photo.

"Yeah, gotcha." Yoongi adds, a playful glint in his eyes.

Your initial shock turns into shy laughter as you realize the mischief they've just orchestrated. "Hey! That was so uncalled for…"

Jimin chuckles, "Gotta keep things interesting, right?"

Yoongi smirks, "Consider it payback for all those times you surprised us being a minx."

You burst out laughing, which leads to them into a laughing fit seeing you feeling happy. Agh, they always gotta tease and expose you like this! You playfully swat at them, still processing their unexpected actions.

After leaving the photo booth, the tantalizing aroma of freshly baked bungeo ppang fish bread catches your attention. The scent triggers a childhood memory, and you excitedly share, "Hey, let's stop by this stall! I haven’t had a bungeo ppang since I was in elementary school."

Yoongi and Jimin exchange amused glances, remembering your tales of childhood cravings. You ate so many when you would go over to Yoongi’s house because his mom would make dozens of them for their church fundraisers. You even got the nickname “little bungeoppang” from Yoongi’s mom because of this.

The club's fish bread stall boasts an array of flavors, from traditional red bean to modern twists like chocolate and custard. They order a variety, hoping to recreate a bit of nostalgia for you.

While enjoying the warm, sweet taiyaki, you notice a towering structure at the far end of the quad—the Ferris wheel. Your eyes light up with curiosity, and you turn to Yoongi and Jimin, "What do you guys think about riding the Ferris wheel? I've always been a bit nervous about heights, but with you two, it might be fun."

Jimin grins, "That sounds like a great idea! We can keep you company and make sure you feel comfortable."

Yoongi adds, "Don't worry, we'll be right there with you. It'll be a fun experience."

Encouraged by their reassurance, you join the line for the Ferris wheel. It’s not a gigantic ferris wheel that you’ve seen at amusement parks, but it’s fairly midsize that would let you see a large portion of campus up at the highest point. The anticipation builds as the line inches forward, and soon, it's your turn to board one of the colorful gondolas. The Ferris wheel slowly ascends, offering breathtaking views of the night market below.

Is it the worst moment to admit that you’re a little scared of heights? Probably. You know you wanted to ride this, but now that you’re on it. You’re a little anxious. It’s not even that high! Get it together, Y/N.

Your fear must be easily sensed, because Jimin decides to wrap an arm around you, offering support, while Yoongi holds your hand on the other side. You wait for them to make fun of you for wanting to ride the ferris wheel despite being scared of heights, but those words don’t come.

As the gondola reaches its peak, you glance at your university campus and down at the bustling market, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. Yoongi whispers, "Look at that view, Angel. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

With their comforting presence, the nervousness begins to fade, replaced by a sense of joy and exhilaration. You’re okay. You’re safe with them. The Ferris wheel ride becomes a shared adventure, a moment suspended in time between the colorful lights and the starry sky.

As the Ferris wheel descends, you all step off and exit the area. It’s a relief to be touching the ground once again. You tag along behind Yoongi and Jimin and become the person to recommence the hand holding once again.

In the distance, the rhythmic beat of a live band permeates the air. The music carries a unique blend of energy and emotion, drawing you all toward the center of the quad where the performance unfolds.

Yoongi tilts his head, recognizing the sound. "That sounds like Sammy's band," he remarks, his ears attuned to the familiar tunes. With curiosity guiding your steps, the three of you make your way to the source of the music.

As you three approach the middle of the crowd watching the performance, the silhouette of the keyboardist catches your eye, and you're taken aback. It's Yijeong, playing alongside Sammy's band. You shoot a puzzled look at Yoongi, who smirks, "Sammy asked for Yijeong's number this morning. Dojoon got food poisoning, and they needed someone to cover for him."

The stage is bathed in a warm, golden glow, and the crowd buzzes with anticipation as the band gets ready for their next song.

“We are ‘The Rose’! Or ‘Windfall’...we haven’t decided on our official name yet. My keys guy got food poisoning so a good friend came to cover. We have two songs coming up next. One is a cover of one of my favorite songs and the other is an original song written by us, so enjoy!”

The first chords of the cover song, "Pristine" by Snail Mail, resonate through the speakers. Sammy’s, the lead guitarist, fingers dance effortlessly across the strings, conjuring a haunting melody that seems to linger in the night air. The drummer – which Yoongi comments is Hajoon – sets a steady beat, creating a rhythmic foundation that anchors the ethereal atmosphere.

As Sammy begins singing, his voice filled with both vulnerability and strength wraps around the lyrics. Each word is like a brushstroke on a canvas, painting a picture of longing and introspection. The crowd, drawn into the magnetic pull of the music, sways in unison, a collective dance to the emotional cadence.

Internally, you're caught in the vortex of emotions. The lyrics of the song, like a mirror reflecting your own inner turmoil, resonate with the complexities of your relationships. The notion of wanting to be one with someone echoes the silent desires you've been grappling with, a yearning for unity in the midst of uncertainty. You can’t be with just someone. You realize you have to be with them. But why is the answer so obvious, yet feels impossible?

When the song finishes, The Rose transitions seamlessly to their original song, "I Don't Know You.” Sammy’s voice takes center stage, followed by bassist Jaehyeong pouring raw emotion into every note. The melody weaves through the air, intertwining with the radiance of the lights above. The keyboardist, Yijeong, adds a layer of depth, his fingers dancing across the keys like a silent storyteller.

With each lyric, you find yourself pulled deeper into a contemplative state. The longing expressed in the music mirrors your own inner conflicts. I want to know you. It's a phrase that reverberates within you, a sentiment that resonates with the intricate dance between friendship and something more.

In the midst of the performance, you glance at Yoongi and Jimin, their eyes reflecting a shared understanding. You wonder if the song is hitting them as much as it’s hitting you right now. The energy from the stage lets your surroundings become a realm where emotions are laid bare. Yoongi and Jimin both hold internal diaries with thousands of words that have not been said aloud.

The chorus swells, and you're compelled to reach out, gently tugging at their arms. The gesture, a silent acknowledgment, weaves seamlessly into the fabric of the music. The lyrics, "Do you want me? Your lover who will never change. Even your bitterness, makes me obsessed," echo in your mind, prompting introspection and a deepening realization.

Suddenly, against the backdrop of the music, Yoongi and Jimin exchange glances, and a shared realization flickers in their eyes. The intensity of the performance and the emotions it evokes push them to reveal what's been lingering in the air.

“Y/N, I’m in love with you.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time, Y/N.”

Jimin and Yoongi speak simultaneously, though Yoongi says a slightly different declaration. You’re speechless. You had anticipated hearing these words after being able to connect the dots, but to actually hear them. At this moment, it’s surreal. This feels like a dream. You don’t want it to end. Because when it ends, things might not ever be the same. And that scares you.

While their words of confession are simple, their love conveyed more in the language of shared gazes and repressed emotions that leave you with a myriad of questions. Even though you had a feeling, you are still left awestruck. The melody, the lights, and the atmosphere seem to crystallize in that moment, etching the beginning of a new chapter.

I love you. Despite such a simple three word phrase, you can’t sayt it right now, You can’t even gather all the words you want to say right now. Maybe because you feel nervous right now, but you will save it for when you go home. And that’s now. You all need to go back now. You need to be somewhere where you can throw all your love and make it known how much you care for them. You just can’t do that here.

The urge to go to the sanctuary that will let you liberate your feelings before it feels like it’s too late.

Without any other words, you respond with a smile, bright and with hidden intentions. “Let’s go home?”

With no questions asked, they seem to understand your intentions and take you away.

+++++++++++

The atmosphere in your room is heavy with unspoken emotions as you all made your way back home from the night market. The walk is quiet, with occasional flustered glances exchanged between you, Jimin, and Yoongi. The air is tense with anticipation and uncertainty.

Upon entering your room, the tension lingers. You go sit in the center of your bed and gesture your two friends to join you on it. It takes a moment to collect your thoughts, wanting your own words to sound heartfelt before breaking the silence.

"Yoongi…Jimin…." That sounds too serious, but there is no way to just confess something that has probably been 10 years in the making without you really realizing it.

Jimin looks at you with a mixture of hope and anxiety, while Yoongi maintains a calm demeanor, his eyes reflecting understanding. You take a deep breath, grappling with the weight of your decision.

"I don’t even know what to say, but I appreciate both of your confessions.” You pause for a moment, letting out a sigh, before continuing, “I want to say I love you both too. A lot. More than I ever thought I did before, and this whole deal really opened my eyes to those feelings.” You glance at both of them, trying to gauge their own reactions to your words. In a way, it’s like reassurance to convince yourself to keep going. You’d probably crawl into a hole and die if maybe you heard wrong earlier and now they’re incredibly confused as to why you’re saying this.

But it’s not like that at all. Yoongi’s cat-like smile right now is one of those things that has always reassured you when you were uncertain in the past. His eyes turn glossy, while trying to put up a composed exterior, as he patiently waits to hear you say more. Jimin, on the other hand, becomes flustered from hearing your confession. You notice him fidgeting with his fingers and biting his lips, which is something he only does when he’s feeling shy. If only you were aware that every beat of their hearts echo in silence and anticipation.

“I never imagined myself in this situation,” you admit, “But it’s clear that my feelings have evolved so much after realizing the small things that you’ve done for me, not just recently, but ever since I met you two. And eventually I realized that I love you two in different ways as well.” You take a deep breath, attempting to articulate the intricate dance of emotions within your heart.

“Yoongi, you’ve always felt like my other half.” You confess further, “It’s like we’re always in tune with each other’s thoughts and feelings. I feel like you complete parts of me that I couldn’t find on my own.”

"Especially during those times when my relationships soured and I struggled trying to socialize with new people," You admit, your voice taking on a more reflective tone. "You were there for me, Yoongi. Your understanding and steadiness became my anchor in those turbulent moments. When I felt lost, your presence brought a sense of calm and assurance. You've seen me at my lowest, yet you never wavered."

You reach out towards Yoongi’s hand, thumb tracing the back of it. "Jimin, you're someone who makes me feel so free," you confess, a genuine smile playing on your lips. "You've always managed to coax me out of my shell, and without you, I don't think I'd be the person I am today."

Jimin's eyes light up with a mix of gratitude and happiness.

“And," you add, a hint of playfulness coloring your tone, "I can't forget that you were my first kiss. It was a moment filled with happiness and warmth, a memory I cherish deeply. You made me feel safe, and I truly always look back to that time when we were young and innocent."

You lift up your hand to caress Jimin's cheeks, which flush with a rosy hue. A mix of surprise and joy twinkle in his eyes.

"Thank you for sharing your feelings with us," Yoongi speaks first, his voice a gentle melody that resonates in the room. "It means a lot to know that I mean so much to you in that way. We've been through so much together, and knowing that feeling is mutual is the greatest feeling ever."

Jimin shares his gratitude as well and adds, "I never expected to hear such beautiful words from you. It's like a dream come true knowing that you love me and think about those things too.”

They’re so sweet, you think. A part of you internally questions if you’re really deserving of their love, but you push it away. You can’t let anything stop you right now. “There’s a lot more I want to know from you, but for now, I wanted to ask if we could do something before…this all ends.”

Curiosity sparkles in their eyes as they turn their attention to you. "What is it?" Yoongi inquires, his voice filled with a blend of interest and anticipation.

Jimin, on the verge of voicing his thoughts, begins, "Is it..."

“Could we…try a threesome?”

The suggestion hangs in the air, catching them off guard. Jimin's eyes widen, surprised by the proposal, while Yoongi raises an eyebrow, a hint of amusement playing on his lips.

"W-Wow…holy shit…" Jimin stammers, his cheeks turning a subtle shade of pink. “Say no more, I’m fucking down.”

You chuckle nervously, "Really? It’s just for tonight. A final hurrah before…whatever happens."

Yoongi smirks, "Well, that's unexpected. Are you sure you're up for it? I mean, I’m willing to do it."

You nod nervously, determined to bring a sense of ease to the situation. "It's our last night under this deal we have. I’m also on birth control so we could try anything and everything. So whenever you’re ready—"

You stop speaking as you notice their eyes darken slowly, lust hidden behind them. Without a word, their actions become synchronized, and the atmosphere shifts subtly.

Jimin, always the bolder one, is the first to make a move. His lips press against the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. You inhale sharply, the unexpected warmth of his kiss catching you off guard. Meanwhile, Yoongi's gaze remains fixed on you, a mixture of desire and uncertainty in his eyes.

As Jimin's kisses trail up toward your jawline, Yoongi gets closer, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on your waist. The room is filled with a soft, anticipatory hum as their actions synchronize, creating a symphony of sensations.

Their lips meet at the curve of your jaw, and for a moment, there's a gentle collision of their lips. It catches you off guard, though Jimin doesn’t seem too shocked and Yoongi remains neutrally curious. You find yourself gradually immersed in the experience and wanting to see how things could go.

Before things can get more interesting for you to see, their lips soon meet yours in a shared kiss that starts tentatively. An initial awkwardness you felt asking for this melts away, replaced by a growing sense of connection. The taste of both Yoongi and Jimin on your lips creates a unique and intoxicating blend. Sweet, intoxicating and sinful.

Yoongi unzips your dress from the left side and both men begin removing your dress, their hands move with a synchronized urgency. As your dress falls away, you sit there before them in nothing but your lingerie, vulnerable yet empowered by the raw desire written across their faces. You feel a rush of heat flood your cheeks as their gazes linger on your exposed form, their desire palpable in the air.

They immediately begin undressing themselves, losing to their own lust, throwing their clothes on the floor and pushing you down on the bed. Yoongi begins fondling your breasts, fingers inching toward your core. Jimin on the other hand, frees your right breast from your bra cup and attaches his lips to your nipple.

"Mmph," your moan escapes your lips as you arch your back, feeling the heated, sloppy kiss of Jimin's mouth all around on your tit. He's unrelenting with his hold and you are helpless under his touch. Your breasts have always been so sensitive that it makes you nearly lose it already. The idea of you so weak for him and nobody else that you can’t even stand. The sensation continues to shoot through your body like an electrical current, making your core clench and your hips buck slightly.

Yoongi inches closer, his gaze never leaving your face as he keeps one hand gently kneading your breast while he uses the other to slowly begin tracing circular patterns over the lacy fabric covering your clit. The anticipation is almost unbearable, building a crescendo of desire that threatens to consume you. You need more of them.

With a sudden urgency, you pull them down onto the bed, your eagerness surprising both of them. Their soft laughter only fuels the fire as you straddle Jimin to kiss him more, your hands grabbing his hardening cock under you and giving it several strokes. He deepens the kiss almost immediately and as soon as your mouth opens for him, your tongues brush against each other in fervor. It's so sloppy and carnal and just simply pornographic, but it's also filled with enough emotion and intimacy to make your knees buckle. You move your hand to massage his balls in time, and he nearly keels over, mouth falling open. He lets out a gasp when your thumb circles his throbbing tip.

On the opposite end, Yoongi kneels down, his free hand lifting your hips upwards before his mouth leans in and meets your swollen clit.

You hear smacking sounds immediately, and combined with how this feels, his skillful lips and hands have you crying out, squirming, and grasping onto Jimin for dear life. Yoongi called this ‘taking you to Hong Kong”. You still don’t know why, but fuck, does he do it so well. It’s literally your favorite thing in the world since this deal started.

With his tongue licking and circling your clit, you know you aren't going to hold on much longer. He moans against your hard bud, enjoying this just as much as you are. His fingers dig into the soft skin of your ass spreading them apart adding yet another sensation. You try to not let the coil in your stomach release wanting to hold onto this feeling for as long as possible. It feels somewhat embarrassing if you’re the one cumming so much so soon.

Though, it’s inevitable that you’ll go insane from all these different sensations.

The intensity of the moment is palpable. You continue devouring Jimin’s lips, feeling his body heat and sweat against yours. Yoongi removes himself from you, denying the orgasm from coming. But you’re too focused on Jimin to worry about it, which makes Yoongi irritated.

This leads to him slowly sliding up beside you and gently running a hand along your ass, his fingers grazing the lace of your panties. The sensation is electrifying, and you can't help but moan softly into Jimin's lips.

"You want more, don't you?" Yoongi whispers seductively into your ear. His voice is low and rumbling, sending shivers down your spine. You nod eagerly, unable to find the words to respond.

“Hehe…Darling’s so needy,” Jimin pulls away from the kiss, giving you a knowing smile. In perfect harmony, the two men begin to undress the remaining lingerie, their hands moving with a fluid movement, their eyes never leaving yours. You feel vulnerable and exposed, yet simultaneously aroused and empowered by their desire for you.

Their fingers gently caressing your skin, you feel an electric current running through your body. They lay you down on the bed, positioning you on your hands and knees, facing the large mirror on the wall. That cursed mirror that you had once faced previously, though just with Yoongi.

You take a deep breath as you see your reflection, your arousal evident in the flushed skin and dilated pupils. Yoongi moves in behind you, his hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him. You feel his erection against your ass, a silent reminder of what is to come.

Jimin kneels in front of you, grabbing his cock and slapping it across your cheek, bringing your attention back to him. And he says you’re the needy one. Ha. You aim your head towards his waiting length and open your mouth. He thrusts in slowly, filling your mouth without trying to make you gag on it. Not today!

As you begin to suck on Jimin's cock, you feel Yoongi's middle finger slide into your pussy, mimicking the motion of your mouth. He pumps his finger in and out, with each second making you go into a trance. The tiny moans you let out at just one finger pushes him to add another right next to it. The way your walls contract as if fighting back against him pushing and pulling and spreading you open is driving him insane. He wants to feel it for himself, squeezing and milking him for all he’s worth. Your sounds of pleasure fill the room when you pull your mouth away from Jimin to control your breathing.

“Make those pretty sounds louder. You already know how much I love to hear them.” Jimin coaxes you further. You’ve known he gets off on your moans since the first day you fucked him.

Yoongi watches your reflection in the mirror, a mix of lust and satisfaction playing across his face. He's always been fascinated by the way your body responds to him, the way it seems to crave his touch. He feels euphoric whenever he gets to fuck you like this, but even more right now.

Jimin’s aware of Yoongi’s possessiveness as he watches this exchange, his heart pounding in his chest. He wants nothing more than to fuck you and even him if the opportunity presented itself. Though the latter is not for today. It would be a dream to just do this in the future and give his best friends the pleasure they so desperately crave.

As you continue to suck Jimin's cock, Yoongi increases the pace of his fingers thrusting inside you. You feel like you're on the edge of something incredible, a pleasure so intense that you can barely breathe. He's unrelenting with his grip and you are helpless under his touch–his fingers are pumping faster and faster until you’re a trembling mess. Yoongi holds your hips up with one arm to keep you stable.

After your quivering stops, he pulls out his fingers.

“Mmh.” You groan around Jimin’s dick, which entices him to go faster.

“Hold on. You’ll get what you want. Be patient.” Yoongi chuckles in response as you whine from the loss of feeling him. After, he positions himself behind you, his cock throbbing against your entrance. He pushes himself inside you, filling you completely. You moan around Jimin's cock, the sensation of being filled by both of them in different places is overwhelming. Yoongi grips your hips, setting a leisurely pace as he watches the mirror. You glance upwards at Jimin, whose head is thrown back in his pleasure. Your fingers dance across the toned muscles of his stomach before gripping his hip urging him to push further.

Jimin pulls out of your mouth when he feels himself getting close. He doesn’t want to finish in your mouth. He’s done that many times before, and wants to change things up. There’s something that he has in mind that he wants to try.

He moves towards Yoongi and tells him that he wants to trade positions, telling him to lay under you instead. Yoongi immediately gets what the younger man is plotting and moves to position himself under you, his cock glistening with your juices. He lines himself up with your entrance, slowly pushing into you. A soft moan falls from your lips. This new angle hits new spots inside you. When Yoongi doesn’t immediately thrust, you rock your hips watching carefully for a reaction on his face. He grabs your hips holding you in place as Jimin situates himself behind you. “Darling, is it okay if we try double penetration?” Jimin asks, very shyly.

Your eyes widen a bit. You haven’t tried this with either of them before simply because the thought of it scared you and you also thought it was unsanitary. So you haven’t done this with anyone. You don’t know if you’re ready for that tonight. You’re honestly more open to doing it in one hole for now…Wait could you even do it? Could they both fit… Well it’s worth the shot.

“Could you guys do it in the same… hole?” You try to word out. This feels embarrassing. Your horniess is going to jump out the window trying to have this conversation. Please just agree to it, guys.

The two men sense your timidness and nod.

“Yeah, that sounds more exciting.” Jimin smirks.

“We’ll try it.” Yoongi moves some strands of hair behind your ear to have a better view of your face. God, you’re glad they can’t see you blushing so hard in the darkness of this room with only the moonlight coming in.

“There’s lube in my bedside table.” You mumble not wanting to believe you are saying that out loud.

Both men raise an eyebrow and you playfully hit Yoongi’s chest. Behind you Jimin opens the drawer to retrieve the lube without a comment.

“Damn, Y/N, were you planning this?” Yoongi smirks and you lean forward to kiss him so he won’t be able to say another word.

He takes his opportunity to hold the back of your neck and thrust into you until you have to pull away. Your moans fill the air only fueling the fire inside of Yoongi and Jimin. After a few more seconds Yoongi pulls you off his cock and against his chest stroking your hair. Behind you Jimin opens the lube bottle squirting a generous amount onto his hand. You hear the bottle click shut and he tosses it to the side.

Your head lifts enough to see Jimin stroking his cock in the mirror. Yoongi’s grip on you tightens momentarily as a shocked gasp is pulled from his plump lips. With a look over your shoulder you see Jimin coating Yoongi’s cock with lube. His small fingers wrap expertly around his best friend’s length.

There’s definitely something here you need to uncover in the future, but for now, you enjoy their acts.

When both men are properly lubricated you guide Yoongi back inside of you. He slips in easily and Jimin carefully lines himself at your entrance, and very, very slowly pushes his way in. Oh no, there’s a sting already. You feel a few tears pooling as you try to accept more of him. Fuck. You don’t think you can do this.

“Angel, it’s okay. Just take a deep breath and relax your body. Take as long as you need.” Yoongi reassures you and you nod. Things like this remind you why you love this man so much.

You take his advice, taking short breaks in between to get comfortable as Jimin keeps going. You feel both of them filling you, their cocks stretching you wide. Once they’re fully in, you wait a bit to adjust to the sensation, taking deep breaths to relax yourself. It feels so weird, but so comforting. It’s something you can’t explain unless you experience it.

Yoongi starts to thrust, his cock slamming into your pussy with quick force. Meanwhile, Jimin starts to match his pace, his cock sliding in and out of you in perfect sync with Yoongi's thrusts.

You cry out in pleasure, the sensation of being completely taken overcoming you.

You can't help but scream as the ecstasy builds inside you. Your body starts to shake, and you know you're close. Yoongi and Jimin are not far behind you being much more vocal than any other time you’ve been with either of them. This must feel just as earth shatteringly pleasurable for them as it does for you.

"Fuck, yes!" Jimin growls as he slams into you, his eyes locked on your reflection in the mirror. "That's it, take it all! You’re so good!" His voice is deep, hoarse with desire as he watches your arousal grow with each thrust.

Yoongi’s eyes never leave yours, his expression a mix of pleasure and anticipation. He thrusts deeper, harder, feeling your muscles clench around him as you near your release.

"Fuck, angel, you feel so amazing," he whispers, kissing your sweat-slicked forehead.

Suddenly, the three of you are lost in the throes of passion, your bodies moving together in perfect harmony. The sounds of flesh slapping against flesh fill the room, mixed with your gasps and moans of pleasure.

Just as you think you can't take any more, Yoongi and Jimin both pick up the pace, their bodies moving with a rhythm that's both primal and beautiful. You can feel their erections throbbing inside you. Yoongi takes this opportunity to start kissing your breasts and sucking your nipples. Jimin moves his hand under you to flick at your clit, adding an extra layer of stimulation that sends you over the edge.

Your body tightens around them, signaling that you're about to cum. Yoongi and Jimin feel your muscles contracting around their cocks, and they know that you're about to explode. They both thrust harder, trying to push you over the edge.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum!" Jimin growls, his hips bucking wildly. "Finally going to fill you up!"

"I'm close, too," Yoongi gasps, his eyes locked on yours. "You feel so fucking good, angel."

Your body trembles uncontrollably as they continue to fuck you, their cocks hitting your sweet spots over and over. The pleasure builds and builds, until finally, you can't take it anymore.

“F-Fuck! Mmh!” Your orgasm explodes once again through you like a lightning bolt, your body shuddering and quivering. Almost simultaneously Jimin and Yoongi finish inside you. The sensation of their cum fillig you to the brim feels so odd, but equally satisfying. Jimin collapses onto your back panting in his euphoric post orgasm haze.

Jimin pulls out first watching as the mixture of his and Yoongi’s cum drips down the length still inside you. Yoongi pulls you off his length watching as your legs quiver their cum trailing down your leg as he lays you beside him. Jimin goes into your bathroom to grab a towel, dampens it in water, and dabs it gently on your lower regions to clean. Feels as if the evidence of what transpired earlier is being erased. Just like when the clock struck midnight and Cinderella’s transformation became undone. Though, it’s not even midnight right now.

With a soft sigh, you lay down beside Yoongi after Jimin finished cleaning you, your body trying to get comfortable on the bed. The sheets beneath you are a soothing touch against your skin and surprisingly, not really wet at all from the orgasms. You can even feel the residual warmth from the shared moments with Yoongi and Jimin.

Jimin, attuned to the unspoken rhythm of the moment, gracefully positions himself on your other side. He mirrors your movements, creating a seamless transition as he settles beside you. The bed becomes a canvas for this intimate tableau, the three of you forming a gentle embrace.

Now, you find yourself sandwiched between the two men who have become such integral parts of your life. Imagining the scene right now in third person feels weird to think about. The afterglow of shared experiences paints a soft glow on each face, and a sense of tranquility permeates the room. The warmth of their bodies on either side of you creates a space of comfort, a sanctuary.

With a synchronized movement, both Yoongi and Jimin turn onto their sides, facing you. Their arms encircle you in a tender embrace. You really do feel so safe here in their arms. Their fingers trace soothing patterns on your skin, and their touch becomes a delicate dance, a silent expression of their feelings for you.

As you bask in the post-intimacy tranquility, Jimin breaks the serene silence. His voice is a gentle murmur, "So, about what we talked about earlier... any thoughts on who you're leaning towards?" His eyes, a mix of hope and excitement, search yours for an answer.

Many thoughts flood your mind about what to say, and you take a deep breath before responding, "I…still need another day, Jimin. It's not an easy choice. I think this whole thing made it harder for me to decide…" Once you finish speaking, you can sense the disappointment that flickers across both of their expressions, but it's Jimin's reaction that stands out. The excitement that had danced in his eyes begins to fade, replaced by a subtle irritation.

Yoongi nods in understanding, his expression stoic. "Take the time you need, Y/N. We want you to be sure."

Jimin, however, turns his back to you, a silent gesture of frustration. Despite staying in the bed, the shift in his demeanor is noticeable. He remains present physically but seems to withdraw emotionally. Unable to ignore the tension, you decide to address the unspoken. "Jimin, are you okay?" you inquire gently, your voice barely above a whisper. His back remains turned to you, a subtle resistance in his posture.

A sigh escapes him, and he shifts slightly. "Yeah, I'm fine," he mumbles against your pillow, his voice a delicate blend of resignation and disappointment. It's too obvious that he’s not okay with this.

Yoongi, sensing the undercurrents, tightens his hold around you, offering silent reassurance. He understands the complexity of the situation, respecting the need for time and clarity.

In the quiet moments that follow, Jimin speaks up again, his voice softer this time, "I just thought... I don't know. It's frustrating, that's all."

His vulnerability becomes more apparent as he wrestles with the emotions stirred by the unfolding events.

You reach out, your hand gently finding its way to Jimin's shoulder. The touch is a tender acknowledgment, a silent assurance that the complexities of your emotions are not lost on you. "Jimin, I promise to give you guys an answer soon. I just need a little more time…” You think you should tell them about Namjoon telling you he’s in love with you. Transparency rule, right? They would understand you want to think this through more knowing how this is a tough decision. “Namjoon told me he likes me awhile back. He told me I didn’t have to give him my answer right then and there, but now that’s also been stressing me lately.”

Jimin, still facing away from you, visibly tenses at the revelation. It's as if the room, already steeped in complexity, has become even more intricate. Yoongi's grip around you remains steady, but you can feel him tense up a bit from the mention.

"Namjoon?" Yoongi's voice carries a mix of surprise and, perhaps, a hint of insecurity.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Jimin, still facing away, speaks, his voice edged with a touch of frustration. "I... I wanted to figure things out on my own first before bringing it up," you admit, your gaze shifting between Yoongi and Jimin. "It's not like I kept that from you intentionally. I just needed some time to process and evaluate everything."

Jimin remains silent for a moment before speaking, his words measured, "Evaluate things now that you're considering him too?"

Yoongi nods, his expression unreadable. "This doesn't make things any easier for us." he remarks, a hint of weariness in his voice.

He's right, and you know it. Maybe you shouldn’t have opened your big fat mouth. But you had to be honest with them about what’s been going on. Taking a deep breath, you continue, "Namjoon is our best friend too, and I don't want to ignore his feelings. I need to figure out what’s the best thing to do and how it might affect all of us."

Your words hang in the air as you all settle into an uneasy silence. There’s just too much right now leaving you grappling with uncertainty. With a shared understanding that words might not provide the resolution needed at the moment, you decide to let the night take its course.

Yoongi, sensing the need for a change in the atmosphere, suggests, "Let's get some rest. We can talk more tomorrow." He turns to face away from you and wraps himself up more with the blankets and sheets on your bed.

Jimin, still facing away from you, doesn’t say anything.

As you lay there, staring at the ceiling, you can't help but wonder if there’s even a good ending in store for you. You think through hundreds of different scenarios, but can only imagine hurt at the end of them. Sleep eludes you for a while, the pressure of your decision stressing your mind.

The room gradually quiets down, and the soft sounds of nighttime take over.

+++++++++++

February 15 [Friday] You wake up the next morning, entangled in limbs and surrounded by the body warmth from the men who made love to you the night before. You are still half-asleep when you hear a voice calling out your name.

“Y/N…”

When you get up, your eyes bulge out from the immediate sight of Jungkook at the foot of your bed.

“Jungkook? What the fuck.”

You’re so close to yelling, but quickly remind yourself where you are and what day it is. It’s your room at the Beta Tau house and it’s Friday. Wait fuck! Why are Jimin and Yoongi still in your bed? The jolt you did in reaction to Jungkook causes the two men beside you to wake up. Yoongi looks grumpy as he slowly gets up, while Jimin cutely rubs his eyes. Once they make eye to eye contact with Jungkook, they’re wide awake.

“Y/N… Jimin…Hyung… you all need to be more careful.”

“Jungkook, how the fuck did you get in here?” Jimin groans.

“Through the door like a normal fucking person.” Jungkook looks at each of you and sighs. “I knew about Honey and Yoongi that one time, but when the hell did this all happen?”

“Long story.” Yoongi takes this time to respond, rather shortly as he puts his hands through his hair. “I’m not even going to ask right now. It’s 7am in the morning. I was about to go to the gym before class, but saw Jimin didn’t even come back last night and his location was off. I was worried so I came in to ask you and then I see this…” You’re not going to lie, you feel embarrassed that you got caught like this. “Anyways, get back to your rooms before anyone else notices.”

“Jungkook…” You look at him with sincerity in your eyes.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to blabber about this. I wouldn’t want to cause anything bad in the house.” He reassures you and leaves the room. Yoongi and Jimin get off the bed, get dressed and exit the room. They don’t address you as they leave, which leaves you feeling a bit hurt. But you can’t blame them. They were definitely expecting you to pick one of them. Now you told them Joon’s in this …”competition for your affections”. And you said you’d need one more day to give them a response. You wouldn’t be too surprised if they’re mad, even if they’re not explicitly showing it. But you’ll do it today. Nothing will stop you today!

++++++++++++++++++++++

Anxiety gnaws at you more with time.

As the day progresses, you find yourself immersed in thinking about your school work, while the unresolved situation with Yoongi and Jimin lingers in the background. Despite the attempts of your friends to engage you in conversation during lunch, you can't shake off the cloud of unease that shadows your thoughts.

After your only noon Friday class, you join Taehyung, Namjoon, and Jin for lunch on the lawn behind the Redwood Literature Hall. The atmosphere is somewhat warm as the sun shines brightly. The laughter and casual banter between the guys fills the air. However, your mind remains preoccupied, distant even as you nod and smile along with the conversation.

Namjoon, perceptive as ever, seems to catch on that something is bothering you. Instead of directly addressing it, he smoothly transitions the conversation, attempting to involve you more.

"So what game are we playing for Friday Night Game Night?" he asks, a twinkle of excitement in his eyes.

"Huh?" You're momentarily caught off guard, the shift from your internal thoughts to external conversation a bit disorienting.

"What? Did you forget we scheduled game night this week, Tiny? We've been trying not to miss doing this at least once a month with everyone," Namjoon chuckles as he reminds you.

"I'm sorry. I've been busy thinking about school work."

"You don't have anything tonight, do you?" Namjoon inquires.

"I..." The truth is: you don't want to have game night tonight. It's ironic how, just a few months ago, you were in Namjoon's shoes—eagerly asking if people would join game night and witnessing the waning interest in one of your favorite pastimes with the Beta Tau boys. Skipping out now might raise suspicions, especially since you assume Yoongi and Jimin will be there. Running away from the situation is not an option.

"No, I don’t. Maybe we could play drunk Jenga with the rules on the blocks? I think it's in Hoseok’s room. I'll ask him for it later." you suggest.

"Ooh, we haven't played that since last year!" Taehyung chimes in, with food in his mouth before swallowing.

"Sounds chill then." Namjoon continues eating some of the salad in his bowl before adding, "Wait, I'm going to have to leave game night a little early because I have to finish helping San and John with a film project in the library. Gonna pull an all-nighter. You guys won't mind?"

"No, we don't mind!" You and Jin say in unison, reassuring him.

"Yeah, go help them. You won't miss too much, well maybe Jimin getting naked or something." Taehyung's playful remark elicits laughter from the group, momentarily lightening the atmosphere. You join in the laughter, appreciating the effort to inject some levity into the conversation. As you all finish your lunch and head separate ways, you continue to prep yourself internally to confront them with a final answer. But when?!

+++++++++++++++++

Before you know it, you’re there.

Night falls, and all the boys gather around the expansive U-shaped couch in the living room of the Beta Tau house. The room is bathed in lighting of string lights hung haphazardly across the walls. Jin hung them months ago after he found out how much nicer the house looked with ambient lighting on at night. The music resonates from the Samsung TV, streaming from someone's Spotify account—most likely Jungkook's, given how similar the songs are to your music tastes.

On the coffee table sits an array of American and Korean snacks, creating a tempting spread that the guys start to grab. The assortment includes chips, popcorn, and desserts, complemented by an enticing mix of beer and soju. You grab one of the Strawberry flavored sojus and take a sip out of it. Mmm. Still gives you trauma from your first college hangover, but you need it to get through this night. Your eyes shift to Yoongi and Jimin, who sit to your right, conversing with Namjoon and Jungkook. You haven’t talked to them all day and you’re wondering if something is actually up beyond what they say.

Sudden anticipation rises as Hoseok makes a grand entrance, unveiling his stash of hard liquors from the top kitchen cabinet, eliciting cheers and excitement from everyone in the room. Hoseok, holding up a bottle of whiskey, interrupts the banter, "Enough chit-chat. Who's up for some real fun?"

Taehyung, his eyes gleaming with excitement, exclaims, "Count me in for anything that involves these bottles." He starts looking through all the bottles..

“You really went all out tonight! Some of these are expensive as fuck.” Jungkook, clearly impressed, examines a bottle labeled "The Yamazaki" and asks, "Hyung, how did you manage to snag this one?”

“My sister’s boyfriend gifted this one to me.” He giggles, grabbing shot glasses to place on the table for everyone. "Enough about that, we're doing shots out of this whiskey.” He gestures for everyone to grab a glass as he pours everyone up. Raising their glasses in the air, Jin proposes a toast, "To being single, wild, and free!"

That’s…for fucks sake.

The room falls into an awkward silence as everyone stares at Jin, confused by the unexpected toast. “What? Are we not single, wild, and free?”

“Hyung, it’s...that was just weird.” Jimin narrows his eyes, clearly puzzled by the sentiment.

“Just take the shot already, guys!” Jin chuckles, his ears reddening from embarrassment in the face of the disapproval of his toast. The room erupts into laughter, breaking the brief awkwardness, and everyone throws back their shots, the smooth whiskey burning down your throat. The hints of fruit to the wood-like taste made it somewhat bearable. You’re definitely a soju and wine girl. You don’t know how the guys love hard liquor.

As the whiskey warms everyone up, the group gathers on the floor around the coffee table, where the Drunk Jenga tower awaits its fate. The wooden blocks contain a unique challenge or rule at the bottom of it that you must do when you decide to move it.

Namjoon, already showing signs of tipsiness, gives the tower a skeptical look. "This better be worth the trouble."

Jimin, on the other hand, seems more excited, his eyes glinting mischievously. "Come on, Kim Namjoon, where's your sense of adventure?"

The first few turns are light and easy, with challenges like “Arm Wrestle", “Make an animal noise” and "clothes swap". The atmosphere is lively, and the guys are getting into the spirit of the game.

As the rounds progress, you all reach for your drinks more frequently, the clinking of glasses punctuating the room's growing merriment. The initial caution around the game transitions into a more carefree atmosphere as bottles are passed around and everyone takes hearty swigs between turns.

Namjoon, always one to embrace a challenge, starts pouring stronger drinks for himself, Yoongi, and Jimin. "Let's spice things up, boys!"

The room resonates with laughter and cheers as the alcohol takes its toll. Yoongi, normally reserved, finds himself loosening up, his witty remarks becoming bolder. Jimin, with his playful nature, encourages everyone to take bigger sips, and everyone starts getting more suggestive blocks.

The tower, now a precarious construction of wooden blocks, becomes the focal point of the party. Namjoon, fueled by liquid courage, seizes a block that reads, "Twerk on a table."

A hush falls over the room as Namjoon considers the challenge. Without a second thought, he positions himself on a sturdy table, sending the tower into a swaying frenzy. The guys watch in a mix of shock and amusement as Namjoon begins a twerking performance, his moves dangerously close to toppling both the tower and the table.

Jin, caught between laughter and concern, yells, "Namjoon, be careful! We can't afford to lose the Jenga tower yet!"

Namjoon, lost in the moment, twerks with unbridled enthusiasm, nearly bringing chaos to the game. The room erupts in cheers and applause as he completes the challenge, stumbling off the table with a triumphant grin.

As he gets off the table, he seems to be out of it, but then sobers up suddenly to say, “Fuck, I gotta go meet up with the other guys. I’m gonna call it a night for me!”

Everyone bids him goodnight as he probably won’t be back until the next morning. He grabs a jacket, a hangover drink from the fridge and water before you watch him head out the door. You hope he’ll be fine.

You all continue playing, the tower becomes less stable. It was Yoongi’s turn next. He pulls a block with finesse, reading it aloud, "Kiss, Marry Kill? You mean Fuck, marry, kill?"

Taehyung grins, rubbing his hands together, clearly enjoying the chance to make Yoongi spill. "Alright, pick 3 of Honey’s girl friends."

Uh what. Did he just seriously just ask that? You immediately raise an eyebrow at Taehyung for saying such a thing, but he doesn’t notice. Wait, is it bad that you're reacting like this? But that’s so weird to ask in general.

"I don't think I can answer that." Yoongi responds directly with a cold tone. He grabs one of the bottles of soju from the variety pack next to the table in preparation to pour in his shot glass as he chooses to take a drink instead of answering. It makes sense to you why he wouldn’t answer, given what he confessed the night before.

Though, the tension in the room becomes palpable as Taehyung's question hangs in the air, seeming to try to think of a way to convince him to respond. The playful atmosphere takes a sharp turn, and you can sense Yoongi's discomfort with the unexpected question.

A tense silence lingers for a moment before Jimin, unable to resist the opportunity to stir the pot, chimes in, "Why not, Yoongi? It's just a game. Scared your choices will upset someone?"

What’s he up to? You don’t get what he’s talking about. He must be drunk. You see Jungkook and Hoseok rush to get water to sober him up, sensing trouble. Taehyung and Jin sit there watching, unable to move as they’re also confused as to why Jimin is trying to incite something.

You shoot Jimin a sharp look, your patience wearing thin. "Jimin, he can answer it if he wants. It's just a game."

He smirks, an edge of bitterness in his tone, "Yeah, just a game. Just like this whole situation we’re in, right?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Your eyes narrow, the playful atmosphere taking a sour turn.

Yoongi, sensing the escalating tension, intervenes, "Alright, enough. Let's not ruin the night with unnecessary bullshit. I’ll take the shot and we move on."

The other guys are very confused at the sudden argument happening. Oh god, if Jimin doesn’t shut up right now, everyone’s going to find out.

You roll your eyes, growing weary of the veiled remarks. "Jimin, seriously, just drop it. This is not the time or place. It’s Friday Night Game Night."

He smirks again, a calculated move to get under your skin, "Oh, but when you’re the one deciding the time and place for stuff and never going through with things, that’s fine?"

"Hey, we talked about this already. Why are you acting like this?” Yoongi becomes growingly frustrated. Okay? What did they talk about that you’re missing out on exactly? This is getting ridiculous. You’re clearly missing a big piece of a puzzle that you didn’t know existed.

Jimin ignores his efforts of mediation, unwilling to let it go. "Maybe if someone could actually make a decision, we wouldn't have to keep playing these games."

Your patience snaps, and you retort, "Maybe if someone wasn’t acting like a child, we could go outside and have a mature conversation about whatever you’re fucking on about!"

“Maybe if I fucking told you earlier about the pact me, Yoongi, and Namjoon made in high school. We wouldn’t have ever gotten in this dumb ass de—” Jimin’s words are immediately cut off by Yoongi’s attempt to shut him up by covering his mouth. A struggle ensues as Jimin fights to break free.

Your eyes widen, a mix of shock and seething anger crossing your face. "Hold on. What? What pact? This is all news to me."

Your mind races, trying to comprehend the revelation. A pact made in high school? Over what? Don’t fucking say it’s a pact so they wouldn’t sleep with you. What the fuck. The realization hits like a sucker punch, leaving you feeling betrayed and blindsided. How could they have gotten into this fuck buddies deal and have clearly broken the honesty rule since day 0? Even though you were feeling bad only a few months ago when you had slept with Jimin. But at least you came clean to Yoongi as soon as you could.

But what the hell is this?! Who in this damn world would be okay with hearing their own best friends making some fucking bro code deal under the table?

Yoongi groans, speaking calmly, "It was supposed to be a stupid thing, just a way to avoid drama between us. I didn’t think it mattered anymore. We didn't think it would become a big deal anyways."

Your voice trembles with a mix of anger and hurt, "A big deal? You guys are my best friends and hid some fucking pact that you made a few years ago? How is that not a big deal?"

Jimin uses whatever strength he has while drunk to free himself from Yoongi's clutches. Though, his expression remains unapologetic, he shrugs, "It was for the best…at the time. We didn't want to ruin our friendship over a girl. Didn’t think it would affect us as much as it did. "

You scoff, disbelief coloring your tone, "A girl? I’m literally your fucking best friend, Park. So, what, you guys broke it how? Deciding to fuck me and forget your bro code!?”

Fuck.

As if the universe was suddenly signaling the end of this ordeal, the sudden jolt you made as you yelled at him causes the jenga tower to fall. The wooden blocks scatter across the table and on the floor, making the impact of the argument land even harder.

The bomb was dropped.

The room is engulfed in a heavy silence, the weight of the revelations settling in like a thick fog. The other guys exchange uncomfortable glances, sensing the gravity of the situation. Taehyung’s jaw is on the floor as he glances around, but cannot say anything. You hope to God he just doesn’t either. Knowing him, he’s going to make things worse without trying. Jin rubs his temples, while looking stressed, but somehow not that surprised. Jungkook and Hoseok return with water bottles, trying to diffuse the tension by offering it to Jimin. They also heard everything as they were in the kitchen, but do not comment on it. Jungkook was the only one who knew, but even then, the deal and pact is definitely news to everyone else.

This doesn’t stop the emotions swirling within you. Unlocking Pandora’s box that revealed the pact feels like a betrayal. You just can’t believe a secret pact between your best friends was kept hidden for years. How long? Was this when you were dating Yeonjun or even before those events? What about during the virginity race? Jimin's nonchalant attitude adds fuel to the fire, leaving you feeling beyond upset, hurt, and confused. He’s choosing not to answer your question.

It has to be because you hit the nail.

Yoongi, attempting to diffuse the tension, steps forward, "Look, we didn't plan for this to happen. We didn't think it through, and it got out of hand. We're sorry for not telling you earlier."

His apology hangs in the air, and you struggle to find the right words. You’re livid and they don’t even get it. Anxiety builds within you and now, the air starts to feel thick in this room, and everything seems to close in on you. You think you’re going to throw up if you continue staying in this room around them.

“Um, guys…maybe we should take a step back, cool off a bit. I have a lot of questions, but we can talk about this more calmly later." Jin, always the peacemaker, breaks the silence cautiously.

“Yeah, let’s take a break for now to sober up.” Hoseok adds.

Yoongi nods, a mixture of frustration and resignation settling in. "Yeah, maybe we should."

It would be good to step back right now and get your head wrapped around all of this, but you need to leave the house to do that. You can’t be around them right now. You need to go see Hwasa. Jieun. Soohyun. Soyoon. Fuck if you know who else, but you just can’t be here any longer.

"I'm leaving." Standing abruptly, you snatch your phone from the couch and grab your hoodie hanging by a chair. The room falls silent as you declare your departure, the heaviness of betrayal settling in your chest. Fueled by anxiety – the urge to throw up and the sting of unshed tears. You never envisioned yourself in this situation, feeling deceived and in a way, taken advantage of.

"What?" The question from Yoongi hangs in the air, a desperate plea for an explanation. You move towards the door in a hurried rush, a whirlwind of emotions overwhelming you.

As you make your way to the exit, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jungkook rush towards you, concern etched on their faces. They don’t want to let you out while you’re drunk and vulnerable, but you’re too out of it to consider that. Jimin remains seated on the floor next to Taehyung and Jin, waiting for the inevitable. Yoongi attempts to grab your hand, a gesture of known comfort, but you vehemently shoo it away.

"Don't touch me!" The words escape you, laden with hurt. You’re caught offguard by your own voice coming out. You come to a sudden halt, attempting to regain control over your breathing, needing to calm the storm within before you say things you don’t mean. The truth hangs heavy in the air, and you feel compelled to address the turmoil.

"I...I genuinely love you guys a lot." The confession spills out, a raw and explicit expression of the emotions coursing through you. "I struggled so much, agonizing over who to choose because I can't imagine a world without either of you by my side. The same goes for Joon. I enjoyed the times we had during this deal, but I wasn't going to pick any of you.” You turn to look at Jimin’s direction, who refuses to face you. “I wanted to put our friendship first and minimize any damage out of love and respect for you guys. But it seems like you guys weren't even considering that when breaking your little fucking pact!" The words linger, a bitter truth exposed in the wake of shattered expectations.

Yoongi stands there unable to respond, frustrated. Your eyes lock with his. Tears glisten on the brink of falling, reflecting a different kind of hurt behind his eyes – a hurt you can't bring yourself to delve into at this moment. Not in your current state.

Choosing to break the eye contact first, you turn away and head out the door, leaving the Beta Tau house behind. You don’t know when you’ll be back. You don’t want to be back anytime soon.

You headed to Hwasa's dorm, hoping to God that she's in that dorm on this Friday night. Because you're going to fall apart at any second as you trudge through the streets and onto campus.

As you make your way through the campus, you find your gaze involuntarily drawn towards the library. The familiar sight triggers the reflex to seek solace in Namjoon's company. Under normal circumstances, he would be your go-to person when something immediately troubled you or when things went awry with Yoongi and Jimin. However, this time feels different.

You shouldn’t go see him for now.

You carry on going onto the path toward Hwasa's dorm, hoping she's there to provide you support and understanding you desperately need in this moment of vulnerability. The anticipation and anxiety mount as you reach the building, your hands trembling as you dial Hwasa's number, yearning for a comforting voice in the chaos that has engulfed you.

“Y/N? Hey? What’s up—” “Please come to the front of your dorm building.” You interrupt her before she kept on speaking.

“Wait, Y/N what’s wrong—”

It’s this simple question that becomes the tipping point to you finally bursting out in sobs. No guys to hold you back, no deal to keep thinking about anymore.

“I-It’s over.”

–

tbc ?!!??! :O a/n: welp. the bomb was dropped. um. yes, that really just happened. the next chapter will be ... insane as well. I'm already writing it and I want you all to prepare yourselves! Anyone have any thoughts or theories on what will happen to our favorite quad and the rest of the house? i'd love to hear about them so lmk hehehe thank you all for reading!

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist

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eoieopda · 1 year ago

Text

aphelion (knj)

aphelion (n): the point in the orbit of a comet at which it is furthest from the sun.

Kim Namjoon was as perfect when you lost him as he was when you found him.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x AFAB!Reader Type: Flashback Prequel | Genre: Fluff & Angst, Smut | Rating: M (18+) AU: Strangers ⇢ Lovers ⇢ Exes, Lacunaverse (aka Lacuna!AU) Word Count: 19K Content Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST; gratuitously autobiographical; POV switches; Namjoon and MC are both musicians but not envisioned as "idols"; emotional support producer!Yoongi; self-insert!OC, jinseo; panic attack implied (crying, rapid breathing, chest tightness); depressive episode implied (lack of self-care, lack of appetite); a relationship dying in slow motion (ouch.) Smut Warnings: Vaginal fingering, lil bit of biting, implied unprotected sex, reader rides it like she stole it. A/N 1: This is the prequel to Lacuna and its sequel, Redamancy. It takes place over the course of two years (2020 to 2022 — we’re pretending COVID never happened, btw) and will have month/date info. at the top of each vignette. You can read the series chronologically (starting here) but I definitely recommend reading in the order it was written (Lacuna ⇢ Redamancy ⇢ Aphelion) because I think dramatic irony is fun and sexy. A/N 2: Endless thank you's to my emotional support moots, @jihopesjoint and @here2bbtstrash for beta-reading this unabashed entry from my diary. A/N 3: To my "Namjoon" — You were the best thing I didn't get to keep. I hope you found the sun. Suggested Listening: Spotify Playlist. ⚠️ 18+ only ⚠️ minors and ageless blogs will be blocked, on sight. my content is not for you. i do not want to interact with you. please respect my boundaries.

2020/7/18; 18:23

As awful as he knew it sounded, Yoongi was grateful to have someone in his life who was equally riddled with social anxiety. That flicker of dread he felt in the pit of his stomach was easier to digest when there was a hand — metaphorical, mainly, because the real thing was the tiniest bit sweaty — to cling to whenever he had to feign extroversion. Before you popped up into his life, perpetually on vibrate mode in the way that he was, he’d ventured out of his studio even less than he did now.

With you, there had always been a silent understanding: neither of you ever wanted to attend the company events that appeared simultaneously on your calendars; neither of you ever successfully shook off the feelings of guilt and obligation that prevented you from bailing altogether; and neither had ever — would ever — consider attending without the other. Co-dependence at its finest, you wore each other like a backpack and held on tight.

One of the terms of this unspoken social contract was that, when it came time to rally for one of the aforementioned, godforsaken label parties, Yoongi rushed over whenever you put up the Bat Signal. Instead of a cartoonish symbol in the sky, it always came in the form of a text — usually with a minimum of six (6) very urgent emojis — declaring a fashion emergency. No questions asked, he showed up on your doorstep every time. Yoongi never had any valuable input to offer, but he could tell you when you looked nice.

You always did, but he tended to keep that part to himself.

When Yoongi finally arrived at your apartment this time, he didn’t bother knocking the way he used to. By now, he knew that part of your pre-party panic included unlocking your door for him whenever you sent out your SOS. So, he let himself in and left his shoes at the door. Immediately, he heard a relieved sigh waft out from your bedroom down the hall.

“Oh, thank god!”

He waited for the blush in his cheeks to fade before he continued his journey to you, willing his standard poker face back into existence before it ratted him out.

“Do I need to call in a helicopter evacuation?” Yoongi called out to you as he padded off in your direction. “How bad is the avalanche?”

Before he could get halfway to your bedroom door, you poked your head out through the doorway. You had those pink, plastic cylinders in your hair — the ones that looked spiky and uncomfortable, but that you somehow never complained about — and half your makeup done. Even in that cactus-printed bathrobe, Yoongi wouldn’t have been surprised if you wound up with a spread in the next issue of Nylon.

You grimaced. “Admittedly worse than the holiday party, but nowhere near as bad as the Great MAMA Catastrophe of 2017.”

“So…” Yoongi teased with a tilt of his head, “Yes to the helicopter evacuation, then?”

He didn’t have time to emotionally or physically prepare for whatever awaited him on the other side of your bedroom door because you grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him inside as soon as he was within your reach.

Oh, good god, kid.

Yoongi opened his mouth to express how impressed — terrified? — he was by the explosion of outfits littering every surface of your room, but he quickly realized that no words would do it justice. He opted for a trademark, flat-line smile and a quiet grunt. You grimaced a second time, knowing full well what he hadn’t said out loud

Scurrying around him, you tore like a tornado through the immediate area to clear a path for him. You were clumsy enough to trip over every stray shoe but had reflexes — shockingly — quick enough to right yourself before your stumbling could send you to the ground. Once the carpet was sufficiently visible, you gestured to the small opening on your bed with a platform boot you’d unearthed somewhere along the way.

“You can, uh —” You continued waving the shoe in the direction of your bed, searching for the rest of your sentence. Yoongi watched in real time as your train of thought left the station.

More than a little endeared by your scattered brain, he offered, “Sit?”

“Yes!” You snapped your fingers and pointed a finger-gun at him with a sheepish smile, “That. Do that while I try to find my vocabulary. It’s gotta be somewhere in this blast zone…”

Voice already petering off, you wheeled back around to your regurgitated wardrobe.

Yoongi dropped into the only open spot on your mattress and leaned back to rest his weight on the palm of his hand. Settled into his usual space and routine, he fished his phone out of his pocket to check the time, as if the answer to that question would make a difference.

It was half-six.

Ugh.

As always, the pair of you would wind up late; and, as always, that would still somehow mean that you’d be the first to show up. No matter how hard you tried to avoid it — leaving later and later for every party — you were perpetually, dreadfully guests numbered one and two.

“I never know what to wear for these things,” you whined, once again a disembodied head appearing in a doorway.

When did you even sneak off into your closet? How were you physically able to reach it?

The rest of you reappeared underneath your head. You were clutching a dress in one hand and a skirt in the other, looking like your will to live had been hung up in their place. Worse, you had that little anime pout on, which didn’t bode well for the schoolboy crush Yoongi was secretly harboring, but you didn’t say anything. You just kept looking at him, eyes all pitiful and sparkly.

“Do you want me to ask him about the dress code?” he offered, unsure if that was what you were after but otherwise at a loss for solutions.

The look of mild-to-moderate panic washing over your face caused Yoongi to sigh. He knew you were thoroughly starstruck — he’d heard you gush over Namjoon and his new release for hours by now — but maybe he’d underestimated the extent. Your relief was immediate when he waved you off and said, “I’m not going to tell him that you’re the one asking.”

Yoongi [18:30]: on a scale of sweatpants to tuxedo, how hard do i have to try?

While he waited for an answer, Yoongi glanced back up to check your status. You’d once again disappeared in the few moments he’d glanced down at his phone screen. So damn sneaky. There was a significant amount of shuffling coming from the depths of your closet. Something shifted, then you yelped.

“You okay?” Yoongi called out, primed to get up and dig through the presumed rockslide for you.

Meekly, you popped back into view with one hand rubbing gingerly at the top of your head. You frowned. “I found my snow boots.”

“Sounded like your snow boots found you, kid.”

Yoongi’s phone buzzed in his hand. He ripped off the velcro-grip gaze he held on you and blinked down at the screen.

Namjoon [18:34]: Hyung, since when do you give a fuck about trying? lol

Yoongi chewed the inside of his cheek. He wasn’t sure what information to divulge: that he wasn’t asking because he gave a fuck; that you were the one who did; or that the only reason Yoongi was having this conversation at all was because you were the one that asked him to. He settled on something vaguely truthful.

Yoongi [18:37]: fuck off, joonie. since i’m bringing someone special and i want you to meet her.

The reply was immediate and three-fold:

Namjoon [18:37]: Call me Joonie again and see what happens 🤔 Namjoon [18:37]: Wear jeans in case I gotta chase you down for that. For real, though, it’s casual. Namjoon [18:37]: Also 👀

Yoongi shoved his phone back in his pocket without bothering to reply. He wouldn’t know what to say if he did, anyway. You weren’t the kind of person he knew how to summarize in a quick text; so he’d have to let your presence speak for itself. It always did.

When he looked back up from his hands, you reappeared in the closet doorway in a flouncy little dress. He had to stop himself from asking if you’d wear it to his funeral when he inevitably dropped dead. Once he succeeded at that, he swallowed thickly and focused on the two pairs of shoes you were holding, one in each hand.

Your face scrunched up while you mulled over your options. Without looking up, you asked absently and borderline shyly, “Did he respond?”

It took a beat for Yoongi’s brain to catch up; sundress season truly was the silent killer. In the pause, your inquisitive eyes flicked up to see if he’d simply ignored your question. He fumbled, pointed to the chunky, heeled sandals in your left hand, and then shot you a thumbs-up.

You rolled your eyes with a snort and knelt down to slip into his choice without further comment. As you did, you triple-checked that the ankle strap was secured and Yoongi didn’t have to guess why: the last time you wore them out, you hadn’t buckled yourself in properly. The thick tread had snagged on a curb; and your shoe didn’t come with you when you stepped up onto the sidewalk. You waited on one leg, the other foot bare in the wind, while Yoongi returned to the street to grab what you’d lost.

When you finished your ministrations, you stood back up to your full height — now with fifteen added centimeters — and brushed your hands against the back of your dress’ skirt. The expression on your face was somewhere between exhilarated and vaguely nauseous.

You clapped your hands together suddenly and sighed, “We doing this, Yoongs?”

He rolled his eyes so you wouldn’t get the wrong idea. He was endeared by that stupid nickname but unwilling to let you know as much. Still, he followed when you led him out of your bedroom; when you grabbed a laughably tiny and arguably useless purse off your hallway console table; and when you skipped out of your front door.

“Who’s driving?” Yoongi glanced over his shoulder at you as he hit the lock button on your door’s keypad. He didn’t need to ask — you had the alcohol tolerance of a newborn baby and couldn’t assume the wheel after more than two drinks — but he knew it made you feel better when he did.

Sheepishly, you pursed your lips.

He sighed with a microscopic grin, “Garage gate wouldn’t open, so I’m on the side of the building.” Then, he shuffled towards the elevator with you in tow. Even with the added height of your shoes, your short legs still struggled to keep up with his pace.

As soon as the elevator doors re-opened on the ground floor, you threaded your arm around his and handcuffed him to you with your elbow bent. Before he could make a joke at your expense, you raised a manicured finger and said, “Do not start with me, Min Yoongi.”

So, he didn’t. He simply opened his passenger door for you and closed it once you’d slid into your usual place. As soon as he slid into his and pressed the start button, your phone automatically hooked to his Bluetooth stereo; and he couldn’t even whine about that fact because you’d already queued up some song he’d never heard in a language neither of you knew well. True to form, you didn’t let that stop you from singing along as loudly as you could — all the way to the venue.

It didn’t take long for Yoongi to find a spot or to parallel park in it, much to your amazement. It did, however, take ten minutes of silent sitting for either of you to say a word.

“Do we have to go in there?” you asked, damn near inaudibly.

Where you sat, your left knee bounced at a speed almost imperceptible to the human eye. Yoongi only noticed because his knee was doing the same. He exhaled the breath he’d unknowingly held hostage and glanced at the time displayed on his car’s touch screen. He grimaced. “Shit started an hour ago. How much do you wanna bet that we’re still the first people here?”

You unbuckled your seatbelt. “Even if we are,” you started as you pushed open the passenger side door, “I’m not waiting to start the clock until guest number three arrives.” You shot him a pointed look as you slid out of the car. Adjusting your dress once you’d made it to your feet, you added, “One hour of kissing hands and shaking babies, then we’re out of here, right?”

Yoongi clamped his mouth shut, but it did nothing to ward off the laughter that made his shoulders shake. He nodded firmly, let his feet hit the pavement, then let his car door shut behind him.

“Compensatory lamb skewers, as usual?” He asked once he rounded the back of the car to join you on the sidewalk. On instinct, you threaded your arm through his to keep yourself on your feet, and your feet in your shoes. “But not from that place you picked last time. I’m ninety-nine-percent sure they clean it with a garden hose at night.”

You grumbled something about never being allowed to pick the restaurant before reaching for the door handle and petulantly jerking it open.

The second your respective feet stepped over the threshold, you both froze. It was the social equivalent of rigor mortis, the pair of you standing with locked limbs and gawking at the sheer number of people inside the hole-in-the-wall venue Namjoon had chosen. Clearly, he’d intended this to be as quaint as possible. Even more obviously, management hadn’t given a shit or fuck about that goal.

“This is,” you inhaled deeply as if you’d never get the chance again, and on the exhale, you wheezed, “So much. Oh my god.”

No matter how many times his shaking eyes scanned over the crowd ahead, Yoongi couldn’t find a single person he recognized, let alone wanted to spend an hour talking to. He snapped to look at you in the same moment you turned to him.

“What an hour this minute has been.”

“Lamb skewers?”

“Yes, please.”

Just as quickly as you’d entered, the pair of you turned to head out the door. Yoongi couldn’t grab the handle before a loud voice rang out from behind, “Hyung!”

A hand clapped Yoongi on the shoulder, spinning him around and leaving his emergency exit out of reach.

“So glad to see a familiar face,” Namjoon’s grin took up his whole face, but his mouth didn’t move with his words. They were forced out through gritted teeth, pleading the way his eyes were: If you leave me here, I’ll kill you.

Yoongi glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. He would’ve asked you — not with words, anyway — to make up some excuse to get you both out of there, to grab take-out and watch Naruto on his couch, but you couldn’t answer. Your starry-eyed gaze was aimed above you, and he’d venture a guess that everyone in the room had disappeared.

Everyone but Namjoon.

Damn it.

Somewhere, somehow, Yoongi heard a record scratch.

“Oh, shit,” Yoongi coughed, suddenly aware of his obligation as a mutual friend. Gesturing languidly between you and Namjoon, Yoongi reported for duty. “Joon, this is —”

Namjoon finally seemed to realize that you were standing there with Yoongi. He tilted his head to look down at you, and as soon as he did, Yoongi watched in slow motion as Namjoon’s eyes grew three times their usual size. Your name barely cleared Yoongi’s lips before Namjoon was extending a hand for you to shake.

Somewhere, somehow, the music seemed to swell.

Am I having a stroke?

The next minute that passed felt like an hour, too, and nobody said a word. It was you looking at Namjoon; Namjoon looking at you; and Yoongi’s eyes flitting back and forth between his friends with a kind of bemusement he couldn’t fake if his life depended on it. He’d crashed-landed in the middle of a drama, and he didn’t know what else to do, so he cleared his throat and said, “Uhh — shots, anyone?”

The next hour flew by in sixty seconds, and Yoongi couldn’t wrap his brain around how that could be. He’d lost faith in the concept of linear time, he knew that much. The two people he sat next to were meeting for the first time, but there was a familiarity present that he couldn’t put a finger on. Like you were both saying hello in this life after saying goodbye in a previous one.

Throughout the conversation, Yoongi couldn’t keep his attention on the words being tossed back and forth; not even the ones he was offering up. Huh, he thought, so, this is what it looks like when people meet who they’re meant to.

“Listen —” You smacked your hand down on the tabletop, swallowing down a laugh as you faked incredulousness. You pointed directly at Yoongi, causing him to choke on his whiskey. “I don’t care if I have to read translations on an app, Nas’ lyricism is unparalleled —”

“Facts,” Namjoon chimed in with a tip of his glass.

The way your eyes sparkled in response wasn’t lost on anyone.

Yoongi rolled his. “Okay, but from a production standpoint, we all know that —”

Simultaneously, you and Namjoon sucked in breaths. The arguments you let loose didn’t match in words, but the sentiment was the same, downright seismic in its intensity.

“Don’t you dare bring Kanye West into this!”

“Hyung, I swear to God, if the next name out of your mouth is Kanye West, I’m leaving my own fucking party.”

The eldest raised his hands defensively. “Fine, fine, fine,” he conceded. Yoongi slumped a little lower in his chair, accepting defeat. He glanced down at his phone to check the time — as if that wasn’t a lost cause — and when he looked up again, you and Namjoon had deviated down some winding tangent about the core of hip-hop being poetry.

It was odd, the way Yoongi’s stomach flipped then. Not jealousy, but fondness. Hunger, too, though that was secondary to the weird glimmer of pride he felt watching a bridge he’d unknowingly built link two spheres of his life together. There was a strange sense of clarity, to top it all off; one that changed all the question marks in his head to periods.

You and Yoongi would be friends.

Yoongi would be at peace with that fact.

The slightly sweaty hand that pulled you through that event wouldn’t be his; and he would be at peace with that, too.

Yoongi would grab lamb skewers on his way home and wait for your call tomorrow to hear how the rest of your night had gone without him.

With a signature, flat-line smile, Yoongi slid off his stool and slid his empty glass towards the bartender. Then, he clapped a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder. The younger stopped mid-sentence with a start and blinked up at Yoongi, whose smirk immediately dropped, deadpan.

He glanced at you and confirmed that you were too busy ordering another drink to overhear. Then, he leaned down towards Namjoon and whispered, “Don’t fuck this up, Joonie.”

Namjoon gulped. Yoongi could hear it as he turned away, letting that smirk reappear once his back was to Namjoon.

He won’t.

2020/7/18; 21:06

Namjoon’s face hurt.

There was a telltale ache in his cheeks that confirmed it: he hadn’t smiled that much, that completely, in a long damn time. At the rate things had gone over the last two hours, he wouldn’t be surprised to catch his reflection in the bathroom mirror and find wrinkles demarcating just how crinkled his eyes had been. It was a wonder he’d been able to see you at all with the way his laughter leaked over his lash lines. Then again, your grin was burned into his brain already. Given the way you lit up, he was convinced that he’d see you — just you — even in the dark.

“Stop laughing at me!” you whined with your hand covering your mouth. Though you tried to hide it, Namjoon could still see you grinning, even with your mouth full. “I feel very attacked.”

He snorted. “Not an attack, just an observation. Can’t say I’ve ever witnessed someone order a beverage they don’t like just to eat the garnish.”

Quickly, you skewered another blackberry with the end of your straw and guided it under the hand covering your mouth. When you placed the straw back in your drink, the fruit was gone; your eyes were sparkling.

“Are you just jealous that you’ve never thought to do it?” You tilted your head to the side as you chewed. The little flex of your eyebrows made his stomach flip, so he swallowed hard and wondered if you noticed.

“Honestly,” he started with a sigh. He slumped down in his seat, looking as pathetic as possible while he eyed the remaining fruit in your glass. “Yeah. Little heartbroken, too.”

“Oh?” You pouted and Namjoon was on the brink of passing the fuck out.

The hand over your mouth dropped. You shifted on top of your stool, grabbed hold of your blackberry malt, and leaned in as you scooted it across the bar to Namjoon. The smile tugging at your lips was petal soft, though the flash of bright white teeth hit him like high-beams. He was a deer; he was frozen; and he didn’t give a shit if you ran right over him.

Elbows against the bar, you leaned even further. This time, when you tilted your head to the side, your hair gave way and left your bare shoulder in his line of sight. For the first time in his life, Namjoon finally understood why something as innocuous as a short-sleeve or exposed ankle was deemed pornographic a century prior. In the year 2020, he was losing his mind over an acromioclavicular joint and some — smooth, touchably soft — flesh.

“Because I haven’t offered to share?”

Jesus Christ.

He was seconds away from biting down on his fist to keep from groaning. That coquettish, candy-coated voice of yours was a problem in and of itself, but when you looked at him from under your lashes like that, Namjoon was ready to call in a bomb threat to his own party. He couldn’t simply fuck off with you, though — not without an excuse he could sell to Bang Si-Hyuk later.

Namjoon needed an out, now. Unfortunately for him, all he could think about was biting down on that shoulder, following the curve of it with his —

He needed to get a grip. Fast.

Swallowing hard, he cleared his throat. “Exactly. Rude.”

You smirked; he winked. To keep his mouth occupied, Namjoon grabbed the spare straw from your drink and speared a blackberry for himself. Holding his prize out in salute, he nodded his head with a smirk of his own. “Geonbae!”

You smiled sweetly again as you watched him pluck the fruit off the end of the straw with his teeth; but you grinned with all you had when the whiskey-drenched berry hit his taste buds like a punch. Sour, unbelievably potent after steeping so long high-proof liquor. Every part of him clenched at once, prompting you to laugh with your whole chest.

What a perfect fucking sound.

“Shit,” Namjoon sputtered. His face unpuckered and gave way to a grin that likely rivaled yours.

“How are you not tanked right now? Seriously, I’m twice your size and can handle my liquor. That —” He waved his hand towards your glass, “— nearly knocked me on my ass.”

You opened your mouth to respond — to tease him mercilessly, he hoped — but you were cut off by the horrendous sound of Namjoon’s phone vibrating against the bar and his own empty glass. The cacophony rattled in his rib cage. Both of you flinched at the sudden interruption, leaving him to wonder if you also forgot that anyone else existed.

Namjoon glanced quickly at the illuminated screen, then back up to you. He would’ve ignored his texts in a heartbeat — indefinitely, without hesitation — but you squeezed his hand as you slipped off your stool to your feet. With your promise that you were headed to the restroom and would be right back, he gave himself permission to look back down at his phone.

Yoongi [21:43]: you tell her about that comet thing? she’s an unrelenting nerd like you. she’ll be into it.

If he could have, he would’ve kissed Yoongi through the phone for two reasons. The first of which was that, in the time he’d spent talking to you, Namjoon had completely forgotten about the one thing he’d talked about incessantly for the past month: the upcoming appearance of Neowise. The second was that, once again, Yoongi had come in clutch with a reason to bail on a social obligation.

Namjoon [21:45]: You’re a lifesaver and I love you. Yoongi [21:46]: ew

Namjoon was still chuckling when, unexpectedly, he felt playful fingertips trail across his shoulder blades. You, he quickly realized as you walked behind him and sat back down on your stool. He shivered, even after the trace of your touch was gone.

“All good?” you asked with a soft smile.

Yeah, he thought, really fucking good.

Namjoon grinned automatically. He picked up the spare straw he’d used earlier and harpooned another blackberry, not having learned his lesson last time. The whiskey hit his tongue, burned beautifully on the way down, and emboldened him.

Without hesitation, he asked, “Do you wanna get out of here? There’s something I want to show you.”

Your wide eyes blinked back at him, then they scanned the room to confirm that, yes, it was still packed with people — up to and including executives from the label. Yes, he did just offer to ditch all of them for you, consequences be damned.

“Yes,” you responded, as if that was the easiest decision you’d ever made.

Namjoon got to his feet and held out his hand to you. “Not afraid of heights, are you?” His smirk all but dissolved when your fingers interlocked with his.

“Not if the fall would be worth it.”

He didn’t know what to say in response to that statement — one so simple, made so easily as if it was a thought you repeated to yourself often. You’d stunned him, really, and Namjoon was uncharacteristically lost for words. So, you both fell into a comfortable silence as he led you out of the venue, ignoring every wayward stare on the way out.

Even after he opened his passenger door for you and slipped himself behind the wheel, he couldn’t get over what you’d said. It took root in the back of his brain. In all the years he’d been in this industry, he’d determined that there were only two types of people: the ones who jumped without thinking and the ones who only ever did the latter. You, it seemed, were neither.

Not if the fall would be worth it.

As he drove, you hummed along to whatever played on the radio, gaze taking in the city lights. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the neon from roadside signs wash over your face as they passed. Pretty in all colors, he thought, in every light.

Five minutes passed before he realized that you hadn’t even asked where he was taking you. Maybe you’d made an assumption that you were headed back to his place, which, while true, still wasn’t entirely accurate. Or maybe you simply trusted him. Determined that he was one of those calculated risks worth taking.

Namjoon was warm all-over when he finally reached his parking garage and turned into his assigned space. By the time he rounded the back of his car to open your door for you, you were already standing and smoothing down the skirt of your dress.

God bless sundress season.

“Didn’t realize you were a fan of his work.”

He froze. Oh, fuck.

Swallowing down the embarrassment of broadcasting his thoughts out loud, Namjoon shrugged. The corner of his mouth twitched, threatening to ruin his nonchalance. “Credit where it’s due, you know?”

He then glanced down at his watch and confirmed that he was running out of time. When he looked back up at you, you were visibly puzzled but you didn’t question him. So, he questioned you:

“You didn’t develop a fear of heights on the drive over, right? Fall still worth it?”

Your response didn’t come in words. To his surprise, you held out your hand and stared expectantly — sweetly — at him until he took it.

You didn’t have the key code to operate the elevator or any idea where you were headed, but you tugged Namjoon along after you as you crossed the parking garage. It was then that he noticed the sheer height of the shoes you were wearing and how carefully you moved in them. Not like heels were foreign to you, but with deliberate steps as if you expected one or both of them to make a break for it. He made a mental note of it.

After typing in his access code to summon the elevator, Namjoon gazed down at you. Trying to hide his smile again would’ve been an exercise in futility, so he didn’t bother. Without thinking first, he mused, “You know, you still haven’t asked where I’m taking you. That’s a lot of trust.”

“I mean, if my untimely end comes at the hands of Kim Namjoon of all people, my ghost will have a really interesting story to tell.”

Your snicker made his knees wobble. You stepped into the elevator as it opened, leaving him to stand starstruck outside the doors.

“Coming?”

When Namjoon finally regained use of his limbs and joined you in the elevator, he pressed the button for the top floor, overshooting his own by three. With every second that passed as the two of you ascended, the centimeters slipped away — overcome by what Namjoon could only assume was a gravitational pull.

He’d orbit you if he could.

“This way,” Namjoon instructed. He gestured to the door at the end of the hall with a sign that promised roof access.

You stayed close, your hand so near to his that he could’ve grabbed it and held it a thousand times before you reached your objective. He held the door for you and watched you duck under his arm as you stepped through, damn near salivating at the way your perfume lingered in your wake.

The door in question opened to something halfway between an exposed patio and a fire escape. If Namjoon had to venture a guess, none of the other residents knew this place existed; it was exclusively for maintenance staff who needed to access the electrical meters contained in the locked room in front of you. Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at it, understandably struggling to figure out why Namjoon had brought you to a place like this.

Sensing your confusion, he nodded his head towards a steep metal staircase which led up to the building’s roof. Staircase was a generous description, really. The only difference between those steps and a ladder was the presence of handrails and a slightly more forgiving angle.

When you caught sight of them, your confusion dissolved into surprise. You paused. Anxious eyes darted down to your heels as you shifted your weight from one to the other.

Weighing your options, Namjoon figured. Bare feet or twisted ankles.

He offered a third and crouched down in front of you, glancing over his shoulder with a smirk. “Coming?” He quoted.

You looked at him in disbelief, like he couldn’t possibly be offering to take you up those steps on piggy-back — but he was, and he was dead serious. He said as much, and you had to bite down on your lips to keep your shy smile to yourself. As had been the case all night, your reciprocal offer was intrinsic trust.

Once you secured yourself on his back, you looped your arms gently around his neck. A quiet giggle immediately flooded his ears. Namjoon peeked at your face hovering over his shoulder and smiled when he saw that you were, too. Your laugh was music, more than anything else.

“This feels like that scene in Twilight.”

Because Namjoon has a sister, he automatically knew what you were referring to, as embarrassing as that was to admit. It was worth it, though, when he bought into your bit. You beamed like the fucking sun when he warned, “Hold on tight, spider monkey.”

He kept one hand on the railing and the other secured over your crossed forearms as he took the steps slowly. When none were left, it was just you, Namjoon, and an uninterrupted expanse of orange and pink.

“Holy shit,” you gasped, squeezing his bicep.

He took your silent cue and ducked back down so you could return to your own two feet.

“Beautiful, right?” Namjoon kept his voice low as if he were in a place of worship.

In a way, he was.

You wobbled, not because of your shoes, but because you were staring straight up, spinning slowly in your spot while you drank in a fleeting, tangerine sky. As the sun continued to sink, bright white stars popped up to take its place. You seemed intent on counting them, but they couldn’t hold Namjoon’s attention — not with you fawning underneath them.

“Reminds me of home, kind of.” You matched his tone like this mattered as much to you as it did to him. “The buildings are always in the way here. After a while, I stopped bothering to look up.”

It felt natural, the way you reached out for his hand to keep you tethered. The same was true when he tugged gently and pulled you closer. You tucked yourself under his arm, nestled into his side. There was heat rising from his chest to his cheeks, but he still shivered.

Trying to keep his focus on the point of all this, Namjoon glanced down at his watch to confirm that the sun’s interference would be gone within minutes. Softly, he dropped his arm so he could place his hands on your waist. You let him turn you until you stood with your back to him; then, you followed his pointed finger with your eyes.

“Keep your eyes on the Northwest, alright?”

Playfully defiant, you turned your head to smirk up at him instead. “I’m admittedly shit at directions.”

Namjoon wouldn’t have noticed if the stars above him disappeared. For all he knew, they’d relocated to the dilated black of your pupils. There was a hint of a challenge twinkling there, too. He wasn’t known for backing down.

“This is the southeast.” Namjoon covered his fondness with a feigned frown and tapped your left hip bone with the pads of his middle and ring fingers. “The sun’s behind you.”

“I know it is,” you acknowledged. Despite that fact, you were still gazing over your shoulder at him.

Oh.

His eyes widened when he caught your meaning; yours crinkled at the corners. Namjoon didn’t have a single clue how you could smile that warmly without using your mouth at all.

It’s decided, he thought. Wherever this night takes us, I’m down for the ride. You lead, I’ll follow.

There was a distinct drop in his body temperature when you eventually — belatedly — followed his directions. Instinctively, Namjoon pulled you even closer so he could properly wrap his arms around your waist. Your shoulder blades pressed into his chest as he leaned down to your ear.

This time, you shivered.

“See that up ahead? Under the Big Dipper.”

You were quiet for a moment, likely searching for whatever secret he was pointing out to you. There was no room for doubt when you finally did see it because you gasped for the second time.

Breathless, you asked, “What is that? A meteor?”

Now visible against inky black, Neowise burned on the horizon.

“A comet,” he gently corrected you. “A new one — well, one we didn’t know about until March. It’s just now coming out of perihelion.”

At the forefront, its bright white mass led a slow charge down the sun’s gravity well. The tail was smeared behind it as if someone had dragged a paintbrush through the cosmos. Once-in-a-lifetime wasn’t scientifically accurate; and heavenly felt pretentious. Namjoon couldn’t think of a word in any language to describe the way he felt in that moment, but he prayed it would last.

You were equally awestruck. For a while, it was simple, silent wonderment as the two of you kept your eyes on the horizon. Peaceful, despite the faint blare of car horns wafting upwards from the streets below. Namjoon might venture far enough to call it perfect.

“What happens now?” You eventually asked. He glanced down at you when your voice cut through quiet, though your starry eyes didn’t register his movement. Thoroughly transfixed, you stayed still.

Namjoon felt himself frown. The answer was scientific fact, but it sounded like an unhappy ending.

Like leaving.

“Aphelion,” he sighed. “It’s headed for the point in its orbit that’s farthest from the sun. All that light you see right now comes from gas made by solar heat, so… it’ll grow colder the farther away it gets. Then, it’ll get so dark that it’ll be more or less invisible.”

You repeated that word quietly to yourself like you were testing the weight of it in your mouth. Aphelion. There was an undeniable heaviness to it. Namjoon wondered if you felt it, too.

He continued, “Not sure if or when it’ll ever be like this again.”

2020/7/18; 23:12

If you could have, you likely would’ve stayed on that rooftop until morning.

The back of your dress would be even dirtier from sitting down on the concrete the way you had; and your elbows may ache a little more after additional time spent leaning back onto flattened palms, but it’d be a small price to pay. Calm like that was invaluable. Until you stared at that uninterrupted sky, talking through every thought you’d ever had with someone who understood them all, calm like that was foreign to you.

You never had the opportunity to sit still, much less settle. Never got to be quiet, never got to linger. On that rooftop, you received a necessary reminder that your universe was bigger than a schedule full of obligations. Bigger than hotel showers, each less user-friendly than the last. Bigger than drinking boba tea alone in an airport, letting life carry you like a dandelion seed all over the map.

It was endless.

You wished that moment had been, but the news helicopter hovering nearby had said otherwise. As it turned out, television coverage of the comet was more important than your personal enjoyment of it. The loud chop of propellers against air had been bad enough; the gusts of wind those propellers kicked your way were even worse.

Even though he’d been sitting right next to you, Namjoon had to shout for you to hear him. You’d squinted as if that would make sense of the shapes his mouth had made — it didn’t. You’d heard his voice but not his words.

I need to learn to read lips, you’d thought. The problem with that realization was that the harder you’d focused on his, the more you wanted to nibble on them. And then the urgency you’d felt no longer had anything whatsoever to do with the aircraft. You hadn’t gotten the message until Namjoon stood up and offered his hands to help you stand, too.

Through the climb back down to the door, the walk up the hallway, and the elevator ride to his floor, Namjoon hadn’t dropped your hand. Now, it was taking longer than you imagined was usual for him to unlock his apartment door because the thumb of his dominant hand was still roaming over the back of yours.

“Finally!”

His sigh was half-exasperated, half-relieved, all swoonworthy when the key — at long last — did what he’d been begging it to do. Namjoon pushed the door open. This time, neither of you had to urge the other to come along.

The second your shoes crossed the threshold into his apartment, you damn near crumpled on the ground they occupied.

Holy shit —?

Less of an apartment and more of an archive, Namjoon’s space was artfully curated. In the literal sense. Everywhere you looked, there was some painting, some exquisite sculpture. All of it was breathtaking — and shockingly breakable, which made you wonder how they’d survived ownership by someone so endearingly clumsy.

He chuckled sheepishly when he saw the way you gawked, open-mouthed, at his collection.

“You didn’t tell me you lived in a museum!” You were dizzy. “I swear, you’re going to have to get security to escort me out at closing time. I’ll stand, and ponder, and muse all day; and I’ll never leave.”

In hindsight, that sounded more like a threat than a warning.

Suddenly rushing so that you could explore more fully, you moved to bend down and undo the ankle straps of your heels. That was, coincidentally, the moment Namjoon attempted to address his own shoes. Your heads collided with a thud that made you both hiss and retract.

“You good?” Namjoon frowned apologetically. As he did, he lifted his hand to run his fingers gingerly over the bump likely forming on the crown of your head. You were too busy vibrating to do much more than nod.

Is one touch all it takes? This doesn’t bode well for you.

As if his goal was to kill you where you stood, he dropped his hand slowly, caressing the side of your jaw with his knuckle and a touch that was barely there. Deep brown eyes smoldered as they focused on you. Then, that husky voice completed the attack combination.

Knock out! Game over!

He tapped your chin with the pad of his thumb and said, “Stay here.”

As if you’d want to be anywhere else.

Before you could wrap your brain around the turn of events, Namjoon knelt in front of you. His right foot remained planted on the ground, leaving his thigh parallel overtop. Thank god for his black jeans. If you drooled at the sight of his quadricep straining against the denim, no trace would be left.

Knees wobbling, you followed his cue and shifted your weight to one foot. The other was guided up to rest against his thigh so he could address the ankle strap for you.

Is your mouth hanging open? Why is it so dry?

Your body shouldn’t have clenched the way it did at something so innocuous. Really, he was being polite. Self-preserving after your eagerness nearly left him concussed. But he must have heard your heart hammering against the wall of your chest because he looked up at you and — no, there was nothing polite about the way his eyes trailed over your body.

Nothing innocuous about his low voice wrapped in velvet saying, “You look like an angel when you look down at me like that.”

It was a miracle that you didn’t break skin with the way you pinched your bottom lip between your teeth.

You must have blacked out after the first shoe was discarded; you weren’t mentally present to notice the other one’s removal. When your soul re-entered your body, Namjoon was back to standing at full height — and he was significantly taller now that you stood barefoot on his doormat.

Incapable of eloquence, you simply peeped, “Hi.”

Either you were going insane, or there really was a faint buzz of electricity humming in the few centimeters between Namjoon’s body and yours. Something was conducting through every nerve of your body, tingling.

“Hi.”

His little half-smile made your stomach flip. You didn’t know what to say next because the only thought in your head was something between a prayer and a plea.

kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me

When the tip of his tongue broke through the seam of his lips to wet them, the only conclusion you could draw was that he’d read your mind. He didn’t listen, but the glint in his darkening eyes confirmed it: Namjoon knew exactly what you wanted and he was holding back. Instead of his mouth, he gave you his hand.

Not bad for a consolation prize.

His fingers slotted between yours like they were the reason those spaces existed in the first place.

That’s the thing about magnets — they attract what they’re meant to. You didn’t need to look for him to find him. Unpaired electron that you were, you knew it intrinsically when someone was spinning in the same direction you were. Even though it’d been the furthest thing from your mind in every moment leading to the present, you couldn’t deny it now:

You found someone that clicked.

There was static sparking in the air when Namjoon led you from the foyer into the living room. Every breath was charged, even the one that caught in your chest when you saw the full extent of his collection.

“I feel like I’m walking barefoot through the Met,” You hummed, eyes flitting from portrait to portrait. Traditional, contemporary, modern — all of it chosen thoughtfully and displayed the same way. “What’s it like to live in it?”

He paused and you paused with him. He looked shy for the first time all night. “Like I’m not alone with my thoughts, if that makes sense?”

Perfect sense.

“You’re not coming home to an empty apartment if you’ve got a piece of Yoo Youngkuk’s mind on the walls.” You gestured with your free hand to a painting hanging to your right. It filled the otherwise neutral space with bright blues, greens, and yellows. “Gotta have some enrichment in the enclosure, or the fishbowl we live and work in will drive us crazy.”

When you glanced back at Namjoon — who was silent and completely still — he looked as if your words had punched him in the chest. Not like he was in pain, but as if the wind had been knocked right out of him. He was silent, though his mouth was slightly parted, and he blinked slowly back at you. You didn’t know what that look in his eyes meant, but it was a far cry from the lust in them before you started rambling.

Now, you had to worry about whether you’d offended him somehow. Fuck. You’d done it again, piggy-backed off someone’s statement to add the two cents no one asked for. Have you ever kept a single thought to yourself?

You quickly pointed to a different painting.

This one, unlike the abstract pieces you’d examined so far, was earth tones in oil paints. Sitting in the center was a young woman in white, staring down at her bare feet as if one of them had stepped on something sharp.

“What’s her story?” You asked.

Namjoon cleared his throat to reactivate the vocal cords you’d seemingly paralyzed earlier. “That’s Eurydice on her wedding day. She married Orpheus, if his name rings any bells.”

It doesn’t.

“She got bit by a snake on her wedding night, which is — uhh, admittedly not ideal.” Namjoon visibly struggled to hide his smirk when you snorted in response. He continued, “She died, which is even worse, but Orpheus went to the underworld to save her.”

“Did he?”

Namjoon grimaced. “Orpheus was not great with rules.”

“Did Orpheus leave his own reception to chase a woman?” You teased with a raise of your eyebrow.

You watched his eyes darken in real time. Viper quick, he tugged at the hand he never let go of and led you right back to him. To keep yourself from colliding fully with his chest, your free palm flattened against it. His pulse raced at your touch, but you couldn’t pay attention to anything other than the searing warmth radiating off of him.

“I suppose he did.” He leaned down, nose tip nearly bumping yours. “There’s an important distinction here, though.”

Namjoon’s hand left yours, lifted up to rest with his fingers under your jaw and his thumb above it. You were sure that your shallow, useless breaths were fanning over his chin, given how close in proximity his mouth was to yours. His breath hit your lips and left them tingling.

The best you could do was whisper, “And what would that be, Namjoon?”

“Orpheus went home empty-handed.”

You didn’t mean to growl in response the way you did, but he’d awakened something feral in you, and there was no turning back. No caging it in. Just your hands gripping tight to his shirt, pulling him down to kiss you the way you wished he had hours ago. That was primal, too. All teeth and tongue with his fingers threading through your hair, and —

And he laughed.

His shoulders shook just enough for you to notice. It was the quickened exhale of breath through his nose that gave him away, more than anything else.

“Is something funny?” You questioned him when you pulled back breathless. His eyes were crinkled, swimming with mirth.

Tease.

You and your now-unoccupied lips changed targets, dipping down to assault the exposed underside of his jaw. Mumbling against his skin, you urged, “Share with the class.”

He opened his mouth, and for a moment, he seemed to be on the brink of answering. Whatever words he might have found were lost again in an instant when your teeth nipped playfully where his neck met his shoulder.

“All those blackberries you ate — oh, fuck.” Namjoon groaned, even more so when your tongue flicked over the faint indents you’d left behind.

After leaving an opened-mouth kiss on his collarbone, you looked up at him from under a curtain of lashes. His head was thrown back, but he sensed your stare; half-lidded eyes fluttered down at you, transfixed. It was a look you felt everywhere, downright pulsing as it shot straight to your core.

You weren’t ready for the hands in your hair to migrate, and that fact was made abundantly clear by the tiny gasp he stole from you in the process. He reveled in it; the corner of his mouth twitched triumphantly upwards. His left hand resettled on your hip while the knuckles of his right hand brushed over the space just below your belly button.

Namjoon must’ve known he had you spellbound because his smirk was full-fledged when he pinched the fabric of your dress between his fingers. Gently, he tugged what he’d claimed, causing the hem to flutter against the tops of your thighs. You were left damn near liquified. More puddle than person, dripping dizzy under such a torturously soft touch.

He didn’t know you were kerosene until he struck the match.

“If your kiss tastes like blackberries...” He trailed off, head tilting to the side. His right hand dropped further. It hovered, red hot, just millimeters away from your core. “How sweet is the rest of you?”

You erupted in flames when his fingertips finally made contact with your clothed cunt. Clenching your desperate thighs together did nothing to extinguish the blaze, nor did the arousal that slicked the innermost parts of them. Swallowing down the whimper building in your chest, you did your best to keep cool.

Eyebrow arched, you whispered, “Asking questions won’t get you answers, Namjoon. You’ll have to find out for yourself.”

The intention might’ve been to wind up in his bedroom at the opposite end of his apartment, but the execution was short-sighted. The farthest your lip-locked staggering got you was the adjoining, open kitchen — more specifically, the kitchen island. The chilled, marble countertop forced a hiss out through your teeth when the undersides of your legs settled on it. With Namjoon’s hands scorching the tops of your bare thighs, though, you were far from frozen.

Fingers raking through his hair, you let him kiss you stupid — until you couldn’t remember how it felt not to. Whiskey-laced and wanting, you licked into his mouth with a stifled whimper and came to two irrefutable conclusions. They spun pirouettes in your brain as his fingernails scratched up your thighs and under the hem of your dress.

Kim Namjoon was made to be kissed.

Up, up, up, his hands moved slowly until you felt his index fingers hook over the waistband of your underwear. He didn’t have to ask for your help; automatically and eagerly, you dropped your hands until your palms flattened against the countertop and lifted your hips. Down your thighs, off your ankles, tossed carelessly over his shoulder, gone — accomplished with his bottom lip kept as a souvenir between your teeth.

Kim Namjoon tastes like blackberries, too.

He was panting when he finally broke away. Large hands slid under your knees and pulled you forward. Now sitting at the very edge of the counter with Namjoon’s body between your thighs, you could feel him throbbing behind too-tight jeans. You were seconds away from reaching out to touch him, but he was the quicker draw.

The tip of his middle finger slid through your folds, wading through the slick that had pooled there. He moved slowly from the button of your clit to your entrance. That teasing filled your head with static and the silence with obscenity: you cursing under your breath as your forehead dropped to rest against his shoulder; you gushing, though he’d barely begun to touch you.

“All for me?” He hummed. Namjoon’s eyes were locked on your face, as if he was collecting mental snapshots of the fucked-out expression he’d put there. “Sweet thing.”

His lips connected with the underside of your jaw in the exact moment his digit finally slipped inside of you. You were sure he felt the way your mouth fell open, even if neither of you heard your breath catching in your throat. It didn’t take much effort on his part to coax it out of you, though; just a few slow pumps, and then you were whimpering near his ear.

You had to rely on your arm around his neck to keep you tethered. If you let go, you weren’t sure where you’d end up — floating off to join Neowise in its orbit, or crashing down into a heap at Namjoon’s feet. But then he added his ring finger, and you clung to him so tightly that you might’ve wound up in his rib cage instead.

“Oh, s-shit,” you keened as his fingers curled upwards. He’d found his target and attacked it slowly, forcing you to walk towards your orgasm rather than sprint — the way you needed to. The way you were willing to beg for. “Namjoon, please. I n—”

You felt the curve of his smirk against your skin. Before you could finish asking, he murmured low in your ear, “Say less, beautiful.”

The kiss he placed on your temple was the last thing you remember before his increased pace lit the fuse waiting deep in your abdomen. His thumb pressed against your clit, winding quick spirals, and he didn’t let up until he blew your mind sky-high.

When the smoke cleared and your pieces fell back into place, you had to blink to get the stars out of your eyes. “You should’ve warned me,” you panted. Namjoon was puzzled, which only made you beam. “You didn’t strike me as the dexterous type.”

The feigned shock on his face didn’t stick for long; it was quickly replaced by a shit-eating grin that made you tingle for an entirely different reason.

“These hands are good for two things, and two things only.”

You snorted, flexed an expectant eyebrow. “Breaking shot glasses, and…?”

Namjoon shook his head. His fingers were still shining with your orgasm when he brought them to his lips. It was ridiculous how he could still look pensive with you dripping down to his knuckles.

“Making you cum, first and foremost,” he corrected you matter-of-factly, like it was an undeniable truth dictated in one of the many books you’d seen littered around his apartment — and really, it should’ve been.

He took those glistening fingers into his mouth to clean you off of him; you couldn’t look away from his tongue as it ran down their length. You swallowed hard when he did. Then, he released them with a lewd pop that made you clench around nothing. “And making you cum again.”

You rolled your eyes, as if you weren’t still irreparably charmed by him. Namjoon bit back a grin, like he didn’t already know.

“My hypothesis may be confirmed, by the way,” he mused.

The magnetism you’d felt earlier brought him back to you again. His arms snaked around your waist so easily that you had to remind yourself — over and over — that they were strangers to you, not a home. That this was adrenaline; this was infatuation; this was one night.

You hummed in response, “Is it?”

It felt like home when Namjoon kissed you, softness laced with eagerness. Or like wax pooling on an envelope, the deed now signed and sealed.

“I’ll have to re-run the experiment, of course. Scientific method and all that.” He waved his hand, as if this was obvious. Yours landed a playful swat on his bicep that only deepened the dimple at the corner of his smile. He kissed you again and you let him. Lips still flush to yours, he mumbled, “Your pussy may be even sweeter.”

2020/7/19; 01:04

You should’ve been exhausted. Your social battery — and your physical battery — should’ve been depleted. You, an introvert and a homebody, should’ve been halfway to sleep in your own bed by now, in your own clothes.

When you left your apartment all those hours ago, you were already prepared to hibernate for twice as long as you’d spent on the outside. That was the way it always worked. A plan you never deviated from; one you never wanted to. But you’d been firmly rooted in the moment — every moment — since you arrived at that party, and you hadn’t spent a second since wishing you were elsewhere.

Your voice cut through the music flowing from the speakers built into his bedroom walls. “I’m not buying it, that’s all I’m saying.”

You twirled at the center of the rug and watched the fabric of Namjoon’s loaned t-shirt attempt to keep up with you. It hung over your frame like a potato sack, leaving a comforting weight as the excess material spilled over your shoulders and landed halfway down your thighs.

Funnily enough, it fit like the dress it’d replaced.

Pausing to swallow down the last sip of the soju you’d been splitting, you gestured towards him with the empty bottle. From where he sat on his bed, Namjoon raised his hands defensively. That sheepish smile admitted that he knew your offense was justified.

“You’re a musician who is fluent in English. You’re also a human being living in a society,” you huffed. “There is simply no way that you don’t know the words to this song.”

He had to cover his face with his hands to muffle his laughter. Even before he hid behind his palms, you could see the way his mirth made his eyes swim. They sparkled even more in that moment than they had in the thousand other times he’d looked at you throughout the night. Once again, you tried to convince yourself that it was due to the rose-colored glasses you couldn’t seem to shake off.

A trick of the light.

You were doing it again, and you knew it — conflating relief and hope; confusing the temporary sense of belonging somewhere with the ability to stay anywhere. You weren’t looking for this, weren’t looking for him, because you knew exactly what you couldn’t have. But you also knew that your heart was racing in your chest, and its rhythm was starting to sound more and more like, “maybe, maybe, maybe.”

Apparently, you’d been staring. Looking at Namjoon for too long made your knees wobble more than your sore muscles did, so you had to avert your eyes when you snapped back to reality. Brushing off that odd flutter in your chest, you brought the empty bottle back to your lips, tilted your head back, and belted out the lyrics you knew he knew.

“Oh, wake me! I'm shaking.”

You took your clumsy choreography to the next level with an exaggerated shiver. Namjoon watched through the cracks between his fingers, unable to ignore the person coming unzipped mere meters away. Undeterred, you threw the back of your hand up to rest against your forehead.

“Wish I had you near me now.” Then, you wiggled your hips in time with the ad-lib. It was barely audible underneath the chuckling from the audience. “Uh-huh.”

His hands dropped to his lap as yours shot straight up into the air, where you held them. The expression on his face was indecipherable when he gazed back at you. Whatever it meant, it was quickly morphing maybe into something more hopeful and — terrifyingly — committal.

“Said there's no mistaking —”

Namjoon said it on an exhale, weightless and without any effort. It sounded natural tumbling out of his mouth and into the space between you. It sounded a lot like:

“I think I love you.”

Without missing a beat, you reeled your arms back down and set the soju bottle onto a nearby dresser. Head tilted to the side, you crossed your arms and smirked. “How sure are you? Enough to wager on it?”

He didn’t seem at all surprised by the way you bought in immediately. You wondered if you truly expected him to be. After all, you weren’t, even if a reasonably well-adjusted person should have been. Perhaps, you thought, you weren’t one of those.

Namjoon’s response came just as easily as his first admission, a perfect volley. “At least seventy-nine percent sure.” You couldn’t see the way you lit up, but you’d have liked to imagine that it matched the way he did. Quicker still, he added, “And yes, I would. All in.”

There’s that magnetic pull again.

You skipped back to where he was waiting on the bed and crawled over the mattress to settle in front of him. Up close, you could see the sakura tint to his cheeks; it blended perfectly with the faint freckles dusting over the heights of his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. You’re beautiful, you thought, and it’s no wonder that the sun found you worth kissing.

Something about his proximity to you made you bold; you didn’t fight it. You simply smirked, “Then let’s make a deal, Joonie.”

Intrigued, he raised his eyebrows but didn’t interrupt.

“Two years,” you hummed as you tilted your head to the side. Then, with a thoughtful finger tapping at your chin, you elaborated, “If in two years’ time you realize that you were right — and you’re one-hundred percent sure — you’ll win a prize.”

Namjoon nodded firmly. He put his hand out to shake on it, but you sat up on your knees. His gaze followed, leaving him to stare up at you as your fingers slid through his hair. You kissed him to finalize the contract, like all true devils do.

“Deal,” he murmured against your lips.

It scared you, just a little, how melting into him already felt like a routine. Like you’d done several times already that night, you spilled into his lap with your knees on either side of his thighs. Namjoon’s arms accepted you immediately; they enveloped you, kept you anchored against his chest.

This time, it was you who laughed.

Namjoon nudged your cheek with the tip of his nose. “What was that about sharing with the class?”

“I just — I’m not normally like this, you know? Completely unable to keep my hands to myself,” you snickered. “Can’t stop touching you.”

To emphasize your point, you removed your right hand from its place at the nape of his neck. Once your fingers were no longer woven through his hair, your fingertips traced light, languid lines, starting at his collarbone. Your eyes followed as your ministrations led you over the slope of his left pectoral muscle, down the bare warmth of his chest.

“So, don’t.”

When your eyes flicked back up to Namjoon’s face, you got the impression that he hadn’t stopped staring at yours. Right hand trailing further down, you maintained that eye contact and watched his pupils blow when you reached the bulge in his boxer briefs. Experimentally, the pad of your index finger whispered along the length of his cock; you relished the subtle twitch you received in response.

“Is this where you want me to touch you?” You asked.

He was throbbing under your touch, growing hard once again, as if you hadn’t been at this for hours already. That didn’t stop you from driving him further wild. More breath than words, you teased, “Or here?”

With a light hand, you flattened your palm to encompass him more fully and squeezed, prompting him to curse.

“Fuck.”

Namjoon’s eyelashes fluttered, but he seemed entirely unwilling to let them close. Desperate brown eyes pleaded with you, sending heat straight to your core.

“Need you, pretty thing. Hand, mouth — doesn’t matter, just fuck me.”

Your fingers slipped away from the base until they resettled at the crown. Even without looking, you could feel the spot where his leaking tip had soaked through the fabric. He groaned when your fingers pulled away, though he stopped in his tracks when he realized where they were headed.

Namjoon shuddered when your hand dipped under the waistband of his briefs and picked up exactly where you’d left off.

“How do you want it, Namjoon?”

As you stroked him, you pressed your lips to his. Slow, hungry, like you’d die before you’d get the opportunity again.

To the best of his ability, Namjoon rolled his hips forward with each pass of your fist. And when you redirected that teasing pressure to his balls, he downright jolted, let loose some deep sound from the bottom of his chest. The sound hardly had time to dissipate before you felt the hem of your shirt lifting above your hips.

Breaking the kiss just long enough to pull it over your head, it was gone in an instant, landing somewhere unseen off the edge of the bed. Ridding him of his briefs was a more concentrated effort. You pushed up on your knees so he could shimmy them down far enough for you to discard them entirely.

“How are your legs, pretty girl?” His palms warmed the tops of your thighs as he massaged his way from your kneecaps towards your hips.

Dipping his head down, Namjoon nipped affectionately at your earlobe and earned a squeak from you. His low chuckle vibrated through you. He was quick to redirect himself, though the teasing didn’t end at his teeth.

“You seem to like being bossy, but I can take over if you’re tired.”

You feigned a scowl. “Are you baiting me?”

The wicked grin on his face answered for him, but it was quickly replaced with wide-eyed surprise when you pressed your hands against his chest and pinned him back against the pillows.

He shrugged, eyes still sparkling with mischief. “Not my fault if you take it, sweets.”

“Never would I ever have assumed that Kim Namjoon is a pillow princess.”

You pointed accusingly at him with one hand while the other slid into the space between you to line yourself up with his cock.

Impish grin still locked and loaded, he leaned up on his elbows until your extended finger was centimeters from his face. He kissed the tip of it chastely between his words, like his own tip wasn’t dripping with you, seconds away from obscenity.

“Hook — line —”

You dropped down on his length, and it shut him up immediately.

Though Namjoon was certifiably, world-endingly thick, you’d acclimated well enough to the stretch of him in your time together so far. He didn’t seem prepared for you to take him to the hilt in one fell swoop, if the way his head crashed back against the pillows could be taken as a hint.

With a swirl of your hips, you grinded down into his lap. Coquettishly, you finished where he left off. “Sinker?”

“Christ,” Namjoon groaned. He squeezed his eyes shut, then followed up immediately with a sheepish laugh. “Feel like I can’t even watch you do this. You’re too fucking good — never gonna make it out of here alive.”

Pride bloomed in your chest at the compliment, even though he was prophesying his own downfall between your spread legs.

You imagined he could feel it for himself: you weren’t any more likely to survive. Not full of him, with your slick spilling down his cock as you bounced. Definitely not with the sick sounds of your ass colliding with his pelvis, squelching with every thrust.

There was something blooming below your navel, but this time, it wasn’t pride. A tingling heat coiled tight, desperate to snap again. You needed it, but the burn in your thighs was stronger by far.

“Joonie,” you whimpered, incapable of caring about how pathetic you knew you sounded. Your head, previously thrown back, drooped forward to find him and his flushed cheeks fighting to maintain composure.

God, he looked as fucked out as you felt.

Namjoon focused on you immediately, attentively, and your heart leapt of its own accord. He curled his finger and beckoned you to lean forward.

“Come here, pretty girl,” he sighed.

Less gracefully than you would’ve liked, you all but crashed into him, sweat-slicked chest to chest. Arms wrapped around you like they were made for that very purpose.

Anchored.

Dangling from the last, frayed thread of your resolve, you were damn near speaking in tongues. Namjoon pushed up onto his heels and buried himself in you — over and over and over — at a punishing pace, hellbent on unraveling both of you at once.

Your moan was halfway to a sob. All the words you knew had been knocked loose some time ago, leaving only his name and please. They rattled around your skull, alternating as they spilled out of your mouth.

“Say less, baby,” he panted.

There was a kiss pressed to your forehead, and then there were stars bursting behind your screwed-shut lids.

2020/11/2; 07:22

Namjoon sat across from you at his kitchen island with a mug of coffee in one hand and a book he’d forgotten the name of in the other. He’d started it over an hour ago, though the two turned pages might indicate otherwise. Instead, he’d spent his time attempting to read whatever scrunched-up, pensive expression you had written all over your face.

You hadn’t said much since the two of you sat down, just pushed your sliced fruit around your plate with chopsticks that had yet to pass your lips. Every now and then, you’d hummed in response to the random thoughts Namjoon relayed out loud. Ultimately, whenever you’d realized he said something at all, your eyes widened; and you’d blinked your way out of whatever daydream you’d gotten lost in.

He loved that about you, your internal wanderlust. Even if he didn’t always know where your train of thought was headed initially, he’d board it with you regardless, find out on the way.

Eventually, you plucked a blackberry off your plate and popped it into your mouth. Your eyes were still glued to your laptop when you started to chew. Then, he suspected that the tartness of it truly hit your tastebuds. The lightbulb switched on and you were back, beaming across the countertop, warming him like a UV lamp.

“Hi,” you peeped.

Namjoon loved that about you, too. Infinite hellos sprinkled throughout his day at random; feeling like you missed him whenever you looked away, and that you found it necessary to greet him when he finally stepped back into frame.

He lit up, too. “Hi. Where’d you go just now?”

You swallowed. Whether it was exclusively the fruit or anxiety, too, he didn’t know. That is, until you claimed your bottom lip between your teeth and mumbled, “Got a weird email from the Overlord.”

The sip of coffee Namjoon had taken while he waited for your answer was a bad idea. He sputtered, nearly spitting it out onto that book he couldn’t care about. The would-be spit-take made your brows raise on your once-crinkled forehead; your amusement was palpable, even if you did him the courtesy of not laughing in his reddening face.

“If Bang finds out you call him that, he’s gonna want it on the nameplate outside his office,” Namjoon coughed. Clearing his throat, he bumped his fist against his chest to shake loose any coffee that might be lingering near his airway. “Weirder email than usual?”

You nodded, then you waved him over to you. It was an odd thing to be grateful for, but he was glad you didn’t just turn your laptop around and scoot it towards him to read. You always took any opportunity for closeness.

When he crossed around the island to you, Namjoon threaded his arms around your waist and ducked down to rest his head on your shoulder. The second he laid eyes on your screen, he was paralyzed. You had so many browser tabs open that none had enough space to display what they contained.

Is this what the inside of your brain looks like?

“Jagi,” he started, breathing in deep to keep from laughing with his entire chest.

It was bubbling there beneath the surface, he could feel it. Begging for composure, Namjoon buried his face in your hair. Vanilla and honey. Instantly calm, perfectly prepared to nudge you further. “How — how did you even find your inbox?”

Just to fuck with you, he pressed his fingertips against that secret spot on the right side of your rib cage. It was the one place on your body he’d been able to confirm was ticklish.

Eventually, maybe, he’d learn his lesson. Today was not that day.

You squealed, thrashed wildly in his hold until your elbow wound up on the right side of his rib cage. It was hard enough to make your point, but way too gentle to hurt. Still, Namjoon had to capitalize on it. He sucked in a gasping breath and stood bolt upright to clutch his chest like he’d been shot.

With you watching wide-eyed, he staggered backwards — away from you, away from the kitchen — until the back of his knees hit the sofa in the adjoining living room.

At some point, Namjoon would have to shoot up a thank you to the God of Entertainment. Somebody had clearly been looking out for him when open-concept apartments came into existence. His slapstick would’ve been so underwhelming if there were doorways involved.

Flopping backwards, his limbs splayed out across the backrest and cushions. Whatever parts of him didn’t fit spilled over the edge and dangled above the floor. He froze that way, playing dead with his tongue jutting out of the side of his mouth.

Waiting, waiting, waiting…

“Hope you watered the plants before you died, Joonie,” you called out. You sounded distant, like you hadn’t gotten up from your stool. “If you left it up to me, they’ll be dead soon, too.”

Joonie.

God, the way his heart still fluttered at that. Coming from you, that nickname didn’t sound stupid, or inspire him to choose violence. It wasn’t patronizing, wasn’t followed by some shit-eating grin. It was soft. Made him soft.

Jooniejooniejoonie.

“Actually, for all you know, I’ve got a tab open somewhere with an article on how to keep plants alive.”

Namjoon heard the faint scrape of the stool as you pushed it away from the counter. Then, the soft pad of your slippers coming his way. The hints were lost once you hit the plush living room rug, and so were you — until he felt your knees slotting on either side of his legs.

You settled down on top of him with your cheek pressed to his chest and your hair tickling his nose. Bravely, he didn’t sneeze.

Hand slipping down to the small of your back, he rubbed spirals into the space between the hem of your sweatshirt and the waistband of your sleep shorts. He hummed, “What’s on your mind?”

For more than a few moments, you were so quiet — so still — that Namjoon had to wonder whether his ministrations had put you straight to sleep. If that was the case, he’d keep going, blow off his to-do list for as long as he could just to keep you like this.

This.

Neither of you had settled on precisely what this was.

For nearly four months, this something was one of few constants in his life. Yours, too. It wasn’t a secret that needed keeping, but whatever this was felt too important to share. It belonged to the two of you, not anyone else — with the sole exception being Yoongi, who would’ve noticed the massive, tectonic shift whether or not he’d been the one to kick it off. Everyone else, though? Non-factors, as far as Namjoon could tell.

Until —

“Label’s expanding overseas.” It came out muffled, either because your cheek was smushed against his sternum, or because you really had fallen asleep in the pause. You continued, slightly clearer, “Putting a flagship sub-label in Los Angeles to crowbar their way into the American market.”

Namjoon wasn’t surprised, not really. Si-Hyuk had been daydreaming about this leap for as long as Namjoon knew him. It was only a matter of time before he got his little contractual ducks in a row. If anything, Namjoon was surprised that it took him this long to do it — what, with American money and American awards on the table.

But he knew you, knew that you didn’t give much of a shit about executive decisions, so long as they didn’t get in the way of your decisions.

That was precisely why he knew you were bringing this up for a reason.

“The hard launch is at the end of the month, so Bang is hoping to sign some of us over in the meantime. He’s trying to boost the curb appeal, I guess.”

You sighed and Namjoon felt the rush of air leave your lungs.

Namjoon nodded carefully to avoid knocking the top of your head with his chin. He sighed, too. “To water the plants.”

You didn’t say the quiet part out loud, but he could sense your brain working overtime; damn near hear your train of thought as it picked up speed. He half-expected to feel heat seep from your head to his chest while all your synapses fired off at once.

The warmth came from your eyes instead. You shifted so that your chin rested in the space between his pectoral muscles; and as soon as your gaze settled on his face, the crease between your eyebrows relaxed. Your pupils dilated, too, blown wide enough for him to notice the shift.

So, that’s what love looks like.

Not merely a neurochemical reaction or some grand, Hallmark-style gesture. Love looked like you, looking at him, while a wave of patent relief smoothed out the worry digging trenches in your features. And if he had to describe how it felt, well… The only word that came to mind was home.

“Is he asking or telling?”

Part of him wondered; the other part knew there usually wasn’t much of a difference between the two.

Even more quietly than before, you responded, “Asking — like, actually asking.”

The wrinkle in the center of your eyebrows reappeared, informing him immediately that you were split between the answer you wanted to give and the one you felt you should. Namjoon wouldn’t dare to make that call for you — to press down on either side of the scale — so he leaned forward and kissed you in the middle, right on top of that conflicted little crease.

“Joonie,” you started in a tone split three ways. Shy, sad, and sparked with a sense of hope that made you wary.

Bang Si-Hyuk wasn’t alone in his daydream. You brought it up considerably less than he did, but Namjoon sensed that this was because you didn’t want your motives to be speculatively linked with the prospect of profit. That would be the furthest thing from the truth.

For you, it was about your craft — Namjoon felt comfortable calling it that — and the million ways you could improve it with new collaborators, new ideas, new experiences.

For Namjoon, it was about you; and hoping that when you dove into life head-first, you never touched the bottom. Wanting everything you wanted to fall straight into your hands like confetti. And, if he could remain just a little bit selfish, he wanted to stick around and watch you catch them all.

If you wanted him, too, the rest of it would fall into place, one way or another. It’d have to, because Namjoon was struggling to remember how his days passed at all without you laughing through them. Maybe he’d have to reacclimate to sleeping without your knee pressed into his back, but he was confident that he could.

He could wait for you until this detour was over.

He would wait for you.

Without needing to think twice about it, Namjoon kissed your forehead and smiled with his lips still pressed to your skin. It was routine, as easy as breathing when he said, “Say less.”

You both stayed there on that couch for a while, though he couldn’t guess how long. Simultaneously minutes and months, but somehow — confusingly — it didn’t feel like the clock was moving at all. He could’ve easily believed that the universe has pressed pause on the moment, but you peeped and he had proof to the contrary:

“I’d be there by Thanksgiving.”

The realization clearly made you a little bit giddy. If your tiny gasp hadn’t given you away, your pulse would have. Namjoon could feel that hummingbird heartbeat against his own rib cage, and — shit, did that fondness squeeze his heart with a vice grip

You sat up, wild-eyed and urgent. “Is pumpkin pie just for colonizers, or are they obligated to share it?”

Fuck, he loved you.

“Joonie, this is serious.” You pouted and it was all he could do to bite back a grin. “I’ve always wanted to try it.”

He nudged your cheek with the tip of his nose and smirked, “Just do what they do.”

“Steal it?” You snorted, devolving into a fit of giggles when he began to pepper kisses down your cheek, then along your jawline.

Eighteen in total, one for every stroke.

Saranghae.

Namjoon hummed in agreement, “Steal it.”

2021/6/19; 04:11

Most people — normal people — were in bed at four o’clock in the morning. You were not most people, though situations like this were becoming more and more normal to you. Unfortunately, you’d been forced to learn that normal and easy weren’t interchangeable. If they were, you’d have gotten used to taking the red-eye by now.

This was your third late-night flight. Not at all coincidentally, this was your third trip home since you left it for Los Angeles. You’d spent seventy-eight hours in the air, making this trip; flown more than 57,480 kilometers in less than a year.

Seven months, technically, but who’s counting?

The elapsed time seemed to run in dog years, though the calendar maintained that only seven months had passed. At the rate they slipped through your fingers, it felt like seven years of trying your best to take advantage of every break in your schedule. Flinging yourself across a black sky on a semi-regular basis, even if you’d just gotten off a tour of your own. Praying that the odd hours and lack of layovers meant your thirteen-hour trip didn’t steal a second more than was absolutely necessary.

Time, you’d learned, was a luxury you failed to properly budget for. Unable to do much else, you accepted whatever scraps you could afford. Make them worth it, you’d demand of yourself each time you landed at Incheon. Every time, your excuse would follow: I’m trying, I swear, but I’m so tired.

Instead of a bed, you were slumped in Namjoon’s passenger seat, clutching the small bouquet he’d brought you in a hand too exhausted to register the brush of soft, white petals. You’d never lose track of his fingers interlocked with yours, though. His touch was inimitable, and the warmth of it stuck with you long after it was gone.

“Pretty,” you mumbled, gaze zeroed in on the flowers. You lifted your right arm to bring them in for closer inspection. It was futile, mostly, given how bleary your eyes were. You guessed, “Baby’s breath?”

This airport ritual of his combined two of your favorite things: the careful consideration he made in choosing flowers that conveyed messages, and the dimple that appeared on his cheek when you guessed correctly. Gifting you an additional prize, Namjoon raised your clasped hands off the center console. Without taking his eyes off the road for too long, he flashed a sleepy grin at you and kissed your knuckles.

Fuck, you loved him.

He turned onto the expressway, let your hands drift back down between you, and yawned. Automatically, you yawned, too.

As he drove, Namjoon’s sleep-drenched brain did its best to ask about all the updates you might’ve acquired since your last phone conversation. He asked about the extended play you were writing, the weird leak in your apartment, and the only friend you’d truly made in the time you’d lived there.

“What’s their name again?” He asked, visibly embarrassed that he’d forgotten. “Jisoo?”

With a chuckle, you corrected him, “Jinseo.”

He echoed you firmly under his breath, clearly determined to commit it to memory this time. Word association was apparently part of that process, you realized. Your heart fluttered wildly when Namjoon proceeded to state the first thing that came to mind about her, proving that he did listen when you talked.

“Jinseo’s the attorney who tried to slide into Yoongi’s Instagram DMs,” Namjoon stated, as if he were being quizzed. “He never looks at them. She’s been checking for three weeks to see if he’s even opened it.”

The way he recited this fact made it sound like he’d learned it from a book, rather than overhearing your friend’s complaints directly while he spoke to you on the phone. Still, he glanced at you for confirmation that he was correct. You nodded, proud.

Then, you provided the update he’d been seeking: “For the record, he still hasn’t.”

You mustered enough energy to laugh along with him, but neither of you was awake enough to keep the conversation going. At least, you hoped that was the case. The alternative — that you’d run out of things to talk about — was worse. It was all you could think about, and now silence crept into the lulls, sitting heavy.

Namjoon was the first to speak again, after a long pause: “It’s lunchtime back home, isn’t it?”

It was an innocent question — a caring one, checking in on you — but it struck like a sucker punch, nonetheless. There might come a day that association didn’t sting, but you knew intrinsically that this wasn’t it.

Los Angeles wasn’t home, even though you’d lived there for the better part of a year. Seoul wasn’t home, either. You had no real roots in either location, continuously jumping back and forth between the two. Namjoon was home, though he was beginning to feel temporary, too.

“It’s so early for you, Joon.” You squeezed his hand. “We can go back to bed, and grab food later. I’m not hungry yet, anyway.”

A lie, but a well-intentioned one. You hoped your stomach kept quiet, kept your secret.

Though he wasn’t looking in your direction, there was a flicker of sadness in his eyes that you couldn’t have missed if you tried. You were sure it matched yours whenever the sixteen-hour time difference made you miss his calls. His schedule lately had made them fewer and farther between.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon sighed.

He meant it, and he emphasized as much with a reciprocal squeeze of your hand. It stung, knowing that he was apologizing for all of it, up to and including this moment; and that neither of you was at fault for any of it.

“We’ll be back in sync in no time. I’ll —”

You cut him off with a whisper and your best attempt at a smile, “Pssssst.”

Thankfully, Namjoon was stopped at the only red light that still separated the two of you from his parking garage. Otherwise, the way his alarmed eyes flitted in your direction may have had consequences.

“Say less,” you mimicked, like any of this felt the way it did before. He beamed, but his grin left just as quickly as it appeared.

Namjoon looked away when the light changed, unaware that your face fell before you could catch it. Something that insignificant shouldn’t have had the power to make you that sad; but it did, and you didn’t know what to do with that fact.

The rest of the ride continued in silence. If Namjoon also felt like that silence was suffocating, there were no hints about it in his expression or his posture.

Does this feel easy to you? Am I the one making it hard?

He had to let go of your hand to park in his assigned space, and he forgot to reach for it again when he finished. You knew it wasn’t intentional, but that didn’t make it hurt less. Didn’t make the tears biting at the corners of your eyes any less embarrassing.

For two people as jet-lagged and otherwise exhausted as you were, it didn’t take long to drag yourselves from his car to his apartment. It took even less time for Namjoon to begin shuffling off towards the bedroom. Halfway there, he realized you weren’t still close behind.

“Where —?” He turned his head to search for you before he turned his body fully. Ultimately, he found you hovering near the kitchen island. The relief in locating you was quickly diluted with concern. “You okay?”

Are we? Is this?

“I think I left my phone in the car.” You patted down the pockets of both your joggers and your jacket, brows furrowed. Then, you picked up the keys he’d just set down on the counter top. “Gonna run down and look for it.”

Too tired to be steady, Namjoon swayed slightly where he stood. You couldn’t help yourself. That magnetic pull tugged you over to him, pushed you up onto your toes, and demanded that you kiss him until that confused frown curved upwards.

For a moment, you smiled, too.

“Go back to bed,” you whispered, leaving a kiss at his temple. You hadn’t meant to speak so softly. Your voice was caught wherever your breath was, and they refused to cooperate. “I’ll join you in a minute.”

He nodded, accepting a proper kiss before his bedroom-bound shuffling continued. Out of sight, you heard the thump of his lead limbs collapse back into his mattress. You felt it in your chest, which was tightening by the second.

You turned for the door, ready to run, only to stop dead in your tracks. Just ahead of you, tending to a snake bite, was Eurydice. The sight of her portrait hanging on the wall threatened to rip out the sob you’d worked to keep buried. She was all you could think about when you slipped out the door, and stumbled down the hall.

Maybe Eurydice would’ve lived if she’d never met Orpheus.

Shoulders shaking by the time you reached the stairwell, you shoved your hand into your pocket as you crumpled downward onto the concrete steps. You pulled out your phone and gripped it tight, like closing your fists around it could keep you together, too.

With the extent of your tears, you couldn’t make heads or tails of that bright, white screen. You did what you could, though, like you always did. Warbled voice bouncing off the walls around you, you found a loophole and slipped through it.

“Hey, Siri —”

The swirling grey, red, blue, and green at the bottom of your screen looked more like a life-preserver than anything else. Automatically, you pleaded, “Call Yoongi.”

It was a fifty-fifty chance, calling him at this hour.

He’d either be awake because he never went to sleep in the first place, or he’d have just drifted off. Either way, you were already sorry for bothering him. When he picked up on the first ring, that was the very first thing you said to him.

Immediately, his tone shifted from the grogginess of his initial greeting. Now, he sounded worried. You wondered if you’d woken him up, but you didn’t ask.

“Hey — whoa, whoa, whoa — what’s wrong? Your plane didn’t crash, did it?”

He wasn’t trying to be funny and you didn’t mean to laugh, but you did. Sort of. It was some odd, gasping sound that felt wrong as it came out of your mouth.

“I’m fine,” you kept repeating, as if you could manifest the outcome. “I’m fine. I just — I need someone to tell me if I’m crazy, or just doing this whole thing wrong —”

“Doing what wrong?” Yoongi cut you off. “It doesn’t sound like you’re breathing properly, if that’s what you mean. Can you take a deep breath? Count to five on the inhale and on the exhale.”

You did what he said. It helped with what it was meant to, but hyperventilation had been the least of your concerns.

“Sit on the floor if you aren’t already. If you can, lean your back against a wall and flatten your palms on the ground, okay? That’ll help you feel anchored.”

Halfway compliant, you slumped against the metal railing next to you. You threaded your left arm over the lower of the two rungs and held on tight. Part of you wanted to laugh at this, too. It wasn’t much different than the safety bar on a rollercoaster; the way your stomach dropped was identical.

“I can come get you if you tell me where you are,” Yoongi continued. “That twenty-four-hour place has lamb skewers now. We can eat, and you can tell me what’s wrong.”

You didn’t know where to start. All of it, you thought, it’s all wrong.

The answer you blurted out was, “I love him.”

“I know, kid,” Yoongi sighed, and it sounded like an apology. He didn’t need any further explanation. “I know you do.”

Your voice broke when you continued, splintering painfully in your throat. It wasn’t a question you had any conscious intention to ask. It was simply shrapnel flying out of your mouth:

“Is loving someone supposed to hurt this much?”

2021/11/13; 14:36

Your fourth trip home felt different than the rest. There was something in the air that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. Whatever it was, it’d kept your stomach in knots from the time you left your apartment until you wandered through customs in Incheon.

It’d only gotten worse when you finally reached the sidewalk outside the airport. Your first instinct had been to cry, though not for the reason you usually did; you’d swallowed that urge with a hastily taken sip of boba. Just like he had for your three previous homecomings, Namjoon was waiting for you, flowers in hand.

Flower, singular.

Of the two of you, he was the one with encyclopedic knowledge of floriography. Regardless, you knew enough to understand what that lone, white tulip said. It was an apology; and by now, you were well acquainted with those. Even still, you hadn’t gotten any better about accepting them because he still hadn’t done a single thing to be sorry for.

Sorry.

That word had slowly mutated into a punctuation mark over the last year. It’d wormed its way into every sentence, whether or not it had any business being there.

Hi, sorry, I was in the studio when you called. I love you, sorry. I miss you, sorry. I’m so proud of you, sorry, I wish I could have been there.

You heard it even when neither of you spoke, felt it in every bit of quiet. It sat between you on the drive from the airport to that restaurant you used to like — the one by the lake. It filled your unoccupied hands on the walk in from the parking lot, rested like a centerpiece in the middle of your table.

Neither of you ate much. You wished you’d had some semblance of an appetite, if only to fill the pit growing in your stomach. To distract from the way Namjoon’s eyes went glassy whenever he looked at you, or to keep your bottom lip from trembling.

Silent and sorry, the two of you watched the wind force waves; which, in turn, forced anchored row boats to collide with the dock.

Anchored.

There was that word again.

It’d been sitting untouched in the backlog of your vocabulary for longer than you’d care to admit. You knew its dictionary definition, of course, but it’d never been a word you’d ascribe to yourself. Leading up to last November, it wasn’t a feeling you’d knowingly craved, either. If you were honest, you might have hated it and its synonyms, too.

Rooted. Tethered.

They were on the tip of your tongue now, finally yours to taste. It was a bitter pill to swallow, realizing that your resistance to them had always been a coping mechanism. Your amygdala trying to intervene.

Until you met Namjoon, stability had been unfamiliar and elusive. It’d outrun you for so long, there’d only been one conclusion left for you to leap to: You didn’t deserve to catch it.

But you did catch it. You found him, opened yourself up to believing that you were the kind of person who got to have roots. For a year, you tried so hard to nurture them, loved the beautiful thing you’d grown in spite of yourself.

You earned them, so why couldn't you keep them?

Namjoon noticed your breathing pick up. He knew you well enough to see precisely what direction your brain was spiraling in; and that you needed a gear shift. So, he hummed, “Been thinking about changing up my hair.”

“Oh?”

It certainly caught you off-guard, but you figured that was the point. You weren’t sure if you should have — or why you felt you couldn’t — but you reached up to run your fingers through it. Longer than last time, lighter.

“I’m not sure if the blonde has ever actually suited me,” he laughed. “What do you think? And, seriously, give it to me straight.”

You nibbled on your lower lip as you studied him. No matter how many times you stared at his face, you uncovered some new, favorite feature. Today, it was his irises, warmer than you remembered them being. Namjoon became more beautiful the less you saw him, as awful as that thought felt.

“I do like the blonde,” you mused. His cheeks blushed, just barely, but it squeezed your heart to know that was still a reaction you could pull from him. “But I think it would be nice to see Kim Namjoon as he exists naturally, you know? I haven’t met him yet.”

He smiled — genuinely, with his eyes and all his teeth — and it ached.

“I’ll make a note of that,” he promised with a laugh. Then, he gestured to your largely untouched plate “D’you want a box for that before we go?”

“No, thank you.” You shook your head. It slipped out before you could stop it. “Sorry, I guess I wasn’t as hungry as I thought.”

The corner of his mouth lifted again, less happily than the last time. You knew as soon as you saw it that his half-smile was an apology, too.

2021/11/25; 19:59

Over the last week, Jinseo Kang had spent more time in your apartment than in her own. The spare key you’d given her at the start of your friendship was intended for emergencies, and while this wasn’t what either of you had in mind back then, that was the only word she could use to describe the state of you now.

In twelve months of knowing you, she’d gathered enough trivia about you to fill a memoir. Of the facts she’d collected, two came to mind immediately whenever Jinseo thought of you. The first was that you were a workaholic to a borderline clinical degree; so resistant to rest that the mere thought of being unproductive gave you hives. The second was that, despite the cursed hours you kept, you were never not in contact with Min Yoongi.

Since you’d flown back from Seoul, you’d done neither.

Jinseo didn’t have to ask to know what happened; you didn’t need to say a word. In fact, you hadn’t — not that she’d heard — since you touched down at LAX, two days ahead of schedule. The only reason Jinseo even knew to pick you up was a direct reply on Instagram that didn’t look a thing like she’d hoped. Worse, the only way she’d been able to recognize you in her passenger seat was by the signature, mint green headphones clenched tightly in your hands.

Immediately, she’d noted the absence of your smile. That was a seismic shift, in and of itself. As was the case with those pastel headphones, that smile of yours wasn’t something you’d ever be caught dead without. Part of you never got off that plane, she’d thought then. Looking at you now, crumpled on your couch, Jinseo knew better. A piece of you was missing long before you boarded that return flight in the first place.

From your kitchen, she glanced over at the heap of blankets, though she didn’t know why she bothered. You hadn’t moved, hadn’t done much of anything since you shuffled out of bed at two o’clock in the afternoon. Still, she had to check for proof of life. Proof that you were still there, somewhere, even buried.

Illuminated by the television screen and underscored by A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, there was movement. Half-hidden by a pile of knitted throws, she spotted the top of your head. Like it did every other time she saw the tangled bun sitting crooked there, her heart sank. I know you’re in there. I’ll find you, I promise.

In the absence of an instruction manual, she’d have to make one. This was a crash course — what to do when love dies in slow motion — and Jinseo was flying by the seat of her fucking pants. Maybe she didn’t know how to pull you out of this pitfall you were trapped in, but she could hold your hand and refuse to let it go.

So, that’s precisely what she did.

Before making her way to you, Jinseo grabbed the dish she’d been preparing off the counter. Spare fork in hand, she rounded the kitchen island and made a beeline for you. You didn’t react when she reached you, unless you counted the way you hugged your knees a little tighter to your chest. Jinseo certainly didn’t; she would’ve sat directly on your feet if you hadn’t cleared the space.

This close to you, she could see the way your jaw was still clenched. Going on eight days now, it was impressive, in some sick way, that the unrelenting pressure hadn’t left you with a mouth full of dust. See? She wanted to grab your knee and shake it, make sure you heard it loud and clear: Look what you can survive!

She didn’t, though. Jinseo simply held out the plate in her hands and stared at you expectantly until you sensed her gaze on you. Red-rimmed and glassy, your eyes lifted to meet her face and she was not going to cry at the sight of you. Nope. Swallowing thickly, she glanced pointedly at the plate, then back up to you.

You were unfazed, barely conceding a blink. You didn’t even look down.

Please, sweet bean. Please eat something.

She tried again, nudging your knee with hers. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

For whatever reason, that holiday greeting was the only thing to reach you in a week. Finally, you looked down.

Jinseo hadn’t finalized her expectations prior to this moment, but the short list had included an eye roll, a groan, something. Even if you didn’t reciprocate, she would’ve been grateful for a response of any kind. Her list hadn’t included you bursting into tears over a piece of pumpkin pie, but that’s exactly what she got.

Charlie Brown can go fuck himself. There’s no such thing as good grief.

It was a reflex, dropping that plate onto the coffee table like it’d bit her. With her hands now free, she grabbed your shaking shoulders and pulled your limp body towards her until you all but collapsed in her lap. Even then, she squeezed you tighter.

I will not let you shatter. I will not let you slip away.

The two of you stayed there, just like that, for however long it took you to let go of the tears you’d stockpiled for eight straight days. And when you were finally quiet — finally still — Jinseo thought for sure that you’d finally fallen asleep.

“I think I hate him.”

Your voice was weak from lack of use; so much so that Jinseo could barely register that you’d spoken at all. Once she did, she didn’t know where to start.

Quietly, she asked, “Namjoon?”

With your head in her lap, Jinseo felt it shake. Again, you surprised her.

“Yoongi,” you whispered. God, you sound so broken. “I can’t stop thinking about it, and I know it makes me a bad person, but I’m so fucking angry at him. I went to that party because he begged me to. I wouldn’t have — I wasn’t looking for him.”

Your voice cracked. “I wasn’t looking for him, for anyone. I’ve lost everything, and I don’t know what to do now. I’m so angry that it hurts.”

“That’s grief, sweet bean,” she corrected you gently. You sniffled, glanced up at her from the corner of your eye. “Not anger. Grief is just love with nowhere left to go.”

At this, you sat up more fully than you had in eight days, albeit looking more hollow than you ever had. Face tear-stained and bottom lip quivering, you croaked, “I don’t know what to do with it all.”

“Call Yoongi,” Jinseo hummed as she squeezed your knee. “If you need a place to put all that love you have left, then write one.”

2022/7/7; 00:00

Namjoon couldn’t remember the last time he had a day go the way it was supposed to; and frankly, he was getting sick of his own shit.

That morning had started off fine.

Scratch that.

It started off as well as he could possibly expect it to, waking up in an empty bed with no kneecap pressed into his spine. He drank coffee at his kitchen island, alone, and ignored the blackberries he’d unwittingly scooped onto his plate with the rest of his fruit. Dumped them in the trash before he lost his mind over a berry. Read half a book and remembered none of it.

All things considered, Namjoon was doing just fine.

Unfortunately, things started going off the rails somewhere around sundown. He and Yoongi had wrapped up the last track on Namjoon’s upcoming release; and for once, Yoongi agreed to leave his studio. Agog and aghast, Namjoon dragged his favorite recluse to every sordid bar in that pocket of the city. As he piloted his tailspin, Namjoon repeated one thought, over and over:

Any dive he stumbled into was better than an empty apartment.

As he spiraled, he drank enough to blur the image of you, which was plastered on every television and burned inside his brain — but not too much. Namjoon learned a long time ago that he couldn’t sleep if he went to bed alone, so he made a habit of not doing that. After all, he didn’t have to like himself; he just needed to live with himself.

Whatever her name was, Namjoon only fucked her because she looked like you.

Her presence on your side of the bed might’ve summoned you because, when he finally checked his phone, your name was tied to a missed call. Better — or worse, he hadn’t decided — there was also a voicemail. The thought alone left him dangling precariously between wanting to cry and needing to vomit. Phone in hand, he staggered toward the bathroom before he’d made his choice.

Closing the door behind him, Namjoon leaned back against the wood. Everything was spinning, though none of it could be attributed to the whiskey he’d had several hours prior. This was all you.

You and that gravitational well he couldn’t ever seem to leave, trapped at his furthest point from you and growing colder all the time. Darker, too.

Aphelion, he remembered with a humorless laugh, not sure if or when it’ll ever be like this again.

Fuck!

Namjoon startled himself when he slammed his hands down on the counter, less due to the involuntary action and more due to the fear of breaking his phone. In a panic, he glanced down. It was perhaps the one thing left that he hadn’t shattered.

Typing in the code to his voicemail felt like disarming a bomb, given how urgently his fingers moved. He needed it, whatever it was that you deemed important enough to say to him. Needed you, but this was the closest thing he had, and that was fine.

“Hey, Joonie. It’s me — well, that much is probably obvious, I guess? Uhh — Anyway, Yoongi mentioned that you finished cutting the album today. I just —”

Namjoon’s racing heart stopped dead in its tracks. You’d paused for so long that he feared the recording stopped there. Thankfully, you started up again, taking his pulse along with you.

“I just wanted to say, congratulations. You’re — I’m sure it’s incredible,” you sighed, “I hope you’re proud, and I hope you’re doing well.”

He was neither of those things. It’d been months, and it still hurt to breathe whenever he thought about you. He thought about you all the time, asleep or awake, no matter what — or who — he attempted to distract himself with. No matter how much of himself he lost track of in the process.

You were all he wanted, all he wants, all he’d ever want.

Namjoon caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Purposefully avoiding his own eye contact, he looked up, just above his crumpled brow. That bleached blonde hair still didn’t suit him, now even less so than when he asked for your opinion that day by the lake. He made a note of what you’d said, just like he'd told you then. It’d been sitting inside his medicine cabinet since the day after his whole fucking world exploded.

Jaw clenched, he broke the magnetic seal between the mirrored door and that bottle of black dye.

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piedpiperslists · 2 years ago

Text

Seokjin One Shots (XXVIII)

* s - contains smut

Riding Fakie by @ugh-yoongi wc~14.2k / skater!Seokjin, fake dating, enemies to lovers Summary: The one where you think you’re getting a fake boyfriend and end up with so much more.

Come Sail Away by @the-boy-meets-evil s wc~7.8k / enemies to lovers Summary: Kim Seokjin is the captain of a sailing team bound for one of the biggest regattas around. Only one problem: that team also includes Taehyung, who's incredibly accident prone. Will he let you save the day despite your history?

Swiss Miss by @here4kpopfics s wc~8.9k / ft KNJ, boyfriend!Namjoon Summary: Your boyfriend, Namjoon, takes you on a Christmas vacation. Your present, however, is his best friend. The man you had a crush on for years before meeting Namjoon.

All You’re Giving Me is Friction by @hot-soop s wc~28.3k / surfer!Seokjin, lifeguard!reader, lovers to enemies to lovers Summary: You’ve graduated! Congratulations - you’ve got one thing checked off your parents ten year plan! Now all that’s left to do is start your dreary office job, drag yourself up the ladder to CEO, marry your (as yet unknown) dream guy, and carve out some time to pop out a few kids before your ovaries shrivel up… Except all of that sounds horrendous, and you’d much rather spend the next three months at Hoseok’s beach house with your closest friends - relaxing, partying, and sleeping late while you still can. And it would be your last perfect summer break, if it weren’t for the most irritating man on the planet (and his chickens) living next door.

Misanthropy & Mistletoe by @shediot wc~55k / single dad!Seokjin, strangers to lovers Summary: Known as the Scrooge of your town, you spend the majority of your life isolated from others. Yet, when the child of a brother you never knew you had winds up on your doorstep in the dead of winter with nowhere else to go, you find yourself reluctantly opening your home to her. And perhaps, with the help of the townsfolk you’ve spent your life avoiding, you can open your heart, too.

A Bonding Experience by @fortunexkookie s wc~2.6k / neighbors au, PWP Summary: The last thing you expected to find when you investigated a muffled call for help was your polite, mild-mannered neighbor, Kim Seokjin, in such a compromising position.

Wrapped Up in You [AO3] by @goodsoop s wc~2.9k / friends to lovers, idol au Summary: Jin shows up at the last minute, interrupting your solo masturbation session and asks for help wrapping his gifts…somehow one of you also ends up tied up.

‘Tis the Damn Season [AO3] by @goodsoop s wc~2.8k / enemies to lovers, coworkers au Summary: When your arch nemesis at work brings you a cup of hot chocolate in peace offering. You didn’t expect it to lead to you bent over your desk with the office holiday party in full swing just floors below.

Christmas Warfare by @gimmethatagustd s wc~14.5k / exes to lovers Summary: You will win the neighborhood’s “Best Christmas Decorations” contest and rub it in your ex-boyfriend’s face, by any means necessary. Or Jin will win your heart back, even if it means surrendering his crown as King of Christmas Decorations.

Esurient by @yminie s wc~6.1k / ft KNJ, established relationship, polyamory au, PWP Summary: The most difficult thing about waking up between two sexy, naked men with an incessant need between your thighs is choosing which of your boyfriends you’re going to rouse from sleep to help your needs.

#ksj list #seokjin oneshot

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magicshopaholic · 2 years ago

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OCs of the Idolverse

This is a compilation of posts and asks regarding the OCs in the series, including descriptions, reactions, ages, etc. I try to avoid spoilers to the max but try to provide as many details otherwise as possible.

These are largely about the OCs only, but the members make it in sometimes as well. In case you want to know anything else about them, feel free to drop me an ask!

(For info not in the below posts, here is the tag)

Guide to the OCs (includes links with and without face claims)

Closest face claim, appearance and body type

Age/year of birth (members included)

Preferred style

Ideal date

Valentine’s Day preferences

Likelihood of cheating (members only)

Jealousy (members only)

Soundtracks (not exhaustive) knj x km | ksj x cnr | jhs x kcy

#ocs of the idolverse #bts fanfiction #bts reactions #bts x oc #bts x reader

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lemon-boy-stan · 4 years ago

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dating kim namjoon includes

getting told off for staying up late even though he's literally up making coffee too

"but joon -"

"get back to bed bitch"

"but -"

"respect your elders child"

"i'm like a [month] younger than you" (lmao no i’m not guys)

"pssh"

being the most sarcastic couple in all of south korea

being fluent in english and korean (because imagine namjoon getting pissed at not only the boys but ALSO his girlfriend lmaoooo)

being the first one he tells about his songs

"what do you think about this one jagi"

"is it about that time when we went -"

"maybe"

"you're so sweet joon! i love it!"

on his grouchy days, taking extra care to be more sensible and less energetic even though he actually loves your bubbly cheeky shrieky self more than anything in the world

namjoon would be the kind of person who would slap your ass when he thinks other people aren't looking

but they're looking, because who wouldn't look at the couple who broke the internet

eg. when you're helping jin make dinner (because we all know rm can't cook for the life of him, he dices onions when he's told to slice them not like i know the difference)

jin can hear the slap coming a few seconds away lmao

"sToB iT"

"yeah guys we don't want any sex near the food we could get an std or something lol"

when the ass-slapping happens in public namjoon will literally deny it happened the following interview like "what no that's photoshopped i didn't slap her ass i'm pure" and hobi or someone will cough something along the lines of "expensive girl" and/or "nine am in the fucking morning on a fucking monday" and your face will go so red and joon will give him a glare so deadly it literally prooves how innocent he's NOT lmao

pda is like a medium level

just like sitting on his lap and romantic to gross kissing lol

once namjoon was kissing you and like jimin started playing expensive girl and he literally stopped kissing you to kick jimin in the balls

falling alseep on his shoulder a lot

sharing airpods because i feel y'all are that kind of couple

taking turns to translate at interviews like

"nO y/N i dId iT aT tHe jImMy fAlLoN sHoW already yEsTerDaY,"

giving him the silent treatment whenever he wins and you translate

until he throws you up and down in the air then on the bed and tickles you until you're crying in laughter and begging him to stop awwwwww

sexting

like an unhealthy amount of it when you're doing random shit lmaooooo

being a switch but giving in

honestly plane fights are really calming idk why lol

being soft

if you have anxiety like me he's really good with handling it. he won't freak out or get annoyed, he'll stay calm and talk you back into calmness (i guess).

joon will actually take things really slow and whatever pace he knows you're comfortable with

like,,,, even though he really wants to be a dad he would never mortify you like that.

he always says sweet stuff

like sentimental sweet gotta love namjoon

his contact in your phone being "expensive boy" and your contact in his phone being "cheap girl" lmao

i'm gonna leave y'all traumatized by that ok bye

BTS MASTERLIST - requests open

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kufikiri · 7 years ago

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Dating Kian Lawley would include

- we all know this kid’s basically an asshole so boy would he annoy you - like all day long - in every way possible - but he’s an angel though - no one can make you laugh like him - he can always cheer you up when you’re sad - he loves to see you smile and hear you laugh - but let’s be real here, his laugh is the most contagious thing in the world -like please give me a 2 hours compilation of him laughing and I’ll be happy - going out for ice cream in the middle of the night - or any food really - but mostly ice cream - he surprises you with random gifts - like he offers you a piece of clothing and goes “I saw it and thought of you so here it goes” - he’s the sweetest - I’ve said this already, haven’t I - he loves having his hands on you - not necessarily in a sexual manner - just an arm around your waist or shoulder - just a hand on your leg - he’s not clingy during the day but he loves his cuddling time - you can’t sleep with him and not be in each others arms, he won’t allow it - him sometimes sleeping with his head on your chest - he loves the feeling - Disney marathon - especially Tangled - singing the songs together - “AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT!” - kissing at the end of the song - someone walking in and sighing over how cute you are probably - like so cute it’s annoying - you like when he sings - but he almost never does it when you ask him to - he gets flustered when you catch him passionately singing - so much hand holding - even during sex - he is usually dominant - not really rough but dominant - but oh boy does he adore it when you take charge - like when you get on top of him and “let me take care of you babe” - it drives him insane - hanging out with the House a lot - they all support the relationship - you love his tattoos - he tells you about every single one of them - “that one was basically a bet I lost against JC” - he is the sweetest guy in the world - I know it’s the third time I said it but he is - and I think that’s long enough so yeah Have a day and keep living and enjoy ❤💙💙❤

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shina913 · 2 years ago

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The Boyfriend Experience | KNJ

The Boyfriend Experience: Namjoon

The BFE: Masterlist

Pairing: Escort!Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞

Genre: sex!work_AU; smut; PWP

Warnings: legal sex work (in this AU); sex for hire; cussing; explicit sexual conversations; soft!dom Namjoon; alcohol consumption; public sexual activities; dirty talk; exhibitionism; fingering; clit play; riding; breast play; heavy petting; protected sex

Word count: 6.6K words

Summary: 💬 It felt very similar to an actual date, as if we’d come back to my place after a dating app meet-up – except the part about me slipping him cash in an envelope, of course. The intimacy happened naturally. He didn’t ask me for directions on how to turn me on, I just let him do his thing.

A/N: Okay so, still having a rough couple weeks and just getting back into the swing of writing--and actually finishing--something. I think I was feeling a burnt out from work and just posting back to back to back so taking a month off was helpful. I'm just happy to finish something--another gratuitous PWP, no less 😂

Semi-beta'd so please excuse typos and redundancies!

Happy Birthday, Namjoonie! 🎉

‼️IMPORTANT: Although the narration will include Namjoon's name, OC/Reader will not address him as so because she booked him under an assumed alias. Weird, I know but--let's just go with it 😉

Your sneakers squeaked across the hard, marble surface as you barreled through the entrance. You were late for your date, mentally kicking yourself for answering your work phone during the weekend. It was just supposed to be a quick sign-off at the office–but nope! One task rolled into another, and next thing you knew, you had no time to go home and get dolled up.

You’d have to settle for your shirt-dress and sneakers–a far cry from the pantsuits and pencil skirts that you wore on the daily. At least you showered before you left your condo.

A few more steps in and you finally spot him, standing next to a banner that showcased the featured exhibit. Although, if anybody asked you, you’d sooner say that he could pass for an exhibit as well…except you’d prefer a private showing instead.

“Hi!” You greeted him from afar.

Namjoon smiled, looking up from the museum brochure that he held. A flash of his dimple, already making you feel flustered. “Hello! It’s good to see you again.”

You smiled as you stopped right in front of him. “It’s good to see you, too.”

You reach out for a handshake but he goes in for a hug. It takes you by surprise, but it’s a welcome one. This date was already off to a great start.

He was tall with cropped hair and golden skin–just as you remembered him from your introductory meeting, or–’mini-date’. Instead of the tailored suit he had on that evening, he was dressed more casually today. Still, he looked unbearably handsome. Those gentle features–only intensified by the heart-stopping smile that he beamed. And those dimples? Lord. They gave him that boyish but equally sexy charm that would make anyone weak in the knees.

“I hope you’ll forgive me. I’m not usually late but–I had a last-minute emergency at work and I had to take care of that.” You pull away from each other but his hand still lingers on your arm, squeezing it gently before it falls away. It felt…nice. He smelled nice, too.

“No big deal. And you haven’t offended me so–there’s nothing to forgive. I would have met you anywhere you needed me. I hope you didn’t feel rushed or anything.

“No, no. I really should have just ignored the call but…duty calls so…” you shrugged.

“Well…I know you said that you wanted a change of pace. I hope this is okay?”

It was certainly different from what you were used to. Typically, you arrange dates to meet up at a restaurant, a bar…or just cut to the chase and go straight to a hotel room.

“When we first spoke, you said that you liked museums and urban hikes. I thought it sounded like a great idea since I’ve done neither on any of my previous dates.”

“Neither have I,” he laughs. “My uh…dates are…usually predictable,” he smiled sheepishly.

“O-oh…Is that so?” You couldn’t help but feel inquisitive.

Realizing his mistake, he tries to correct it immediately. “I didn’t mean like that. I just meant–I’ve never gone on dates where the client gave me full control of…our activities.”

When you first met at the restaurant, he didn’t go all in with the hard-sell–unlike previous dates you’d had. He was soft-spoken and quite enigmatic. If this were any different date, you’d think he was being cagey and you’d immediately run in the other direction.

But there was something about him that reeled you in. Part of it was the thrill of uncovering that mystery.

And who were you kidding? Who could resist those dimples? And those eyes? It really was all very effortless for him.

During your mini-date, he asked you what you wanted out of the experience. And you told him for once–you wanted to relinquish control. Day in and day out, you were the decision-maker. You called the shots. It works out great at your day job, but every now and then, you thought it would be nice not to have that responsibility.

Your request was for him to plan a whole day around you. You established your hard limits, which he carefully noted. Typically, the escorts would let clients dictate how the date would go–the choice was yours. But you were tired of ‘typical’. So, your choice–was not to make choices for the day. It was uncharted territory but there was an element of excitement to it.

“Shall we?” He gestures down a hall and you follow him. He waits for your steps to fall in sync with his.

You started down one corridor, which held the featured artist’s early paintings. You’d heard of the artist before–he’s had historic murals installed within the city. One of them was on loan to the museum to round out the whole collection, which was deemed to be the largest in decades–or, at least, that’s what the brochure said.

When you stopped in front of one painting or showed any remote interest in one, he would start talking about the story behind it and point out small details such as the varying brush strokes. He even talks about the evolving style and other artists who influenced it.

He stood right beside you and you couldn’t help but study him some more. Even in a position as benign as standing, he exuded primal confidence. “This is one of my favorites.” His deep voice resonated, inciting a restless energy in your legs. You shifted where you stood, trying to ignore the growing need between your thighs.

Art didn’t interest you very much but hearing him talk about it emphatically and with so much enthusiasm–you wished you spent more time in museums–as long as he was there to talk you through every piece.

******

“Do you do this often?”

“Do what?”

“Tour museums.”

He smiles. “Yeah, mostly during my free time. Although, I’ve never taken dates here.”

“Why’s that?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I haven’t had many clients request for this specific date. They usually just want dinner or drinks. Sometimes, we’ll go to a scheduled event. Museums aren’t usually…fun.” He eyes you carefully as he stops in front of a portrait on display.

“I don’t see why this wouldn’t be considered a fun activity.” You tilt your head to the side to admire the portrait straight ahead. You could see him still staring at you from your peripheral vision.

“Some people don’t think it’s stimulating enough.” His voice was low and raspy.

You turn your head to the side to face him. “Hm. I beg to differ.”

And there it was again, that enigmatic smile. It excited you to think about what else he had in store for your date today.

******

After about two hours of marveling at paintings, you decided to take a break at the museum’s cafe for a light meal.

“Have you always enjoyed art?”

“Oh god, no!” He says emphatically. “No, this hobby is relatively new to me. I always thought museums were the most boring places. Until, I had a client take me to an event that was in one. I arrived a bit early just to familiarize myself with the place and…I found the exhibit really interesting that day.”

A moment later, he clears his throat and turns the conversation back to you. “But enough about me. Let’s talk about you.”

Although he sat across from you at the museum cafe, the tone of his voice made it feel like he was right beside you, whispering in your ear. It was a miracle how you managed to keep it together this whole time when all you wanted was him to punish you for some undetermined misbehavior.

You uncrossed your legs, only to switch sides and cross them again–the pressure providing a pathetic amount of relief to the searing ache that built up within you.

In an effort to remain nonchalant about it, you lean in slightly and propped your elbow on the table, cupping your chin on your hand. “What about me?”

“Well…I know that this isn’t your first experience,” he says, referring to booking escorts. “Why have you decided to change things around?”

You sighed wistfully. “I’m a ball-buster…on a daily basis. It’s my job.” You looked down, fidgeted with your glass, swiping your finger at the condensation that had built up on the outside.

“As soon as I show the slightest hint of weakness or start wavering, they’d start looking at me differently. Some people go to spas, some people turn to alcohol to unwind and let loose…” You paused to peer up at him. “I book escorts,” you say simply.

“Dating wasn’t doing it for you?”

Dating could be so cumbersome…and you’ve tried. You even tried one of those hookup apps. And while it was fun at first, it wasn’t entirely attachment-free.

Which is why you turned to escorts. It was anonymous and no-frills. The best of both worlds. You’ve booked a few ‘freelancers’ in the past…even having a couple of regular standbys. But after a while, the meetups and hookups started to feel a little stale. And since these guys had a two-three hour limit, you needed a good shakeup.

One of your longtime friends, who was a bored housewife, referred you to a very particular escort service. It was an exclusive club and you had to be referred by a current member to gain access.

You laughed. “I don’t have the patience to date…at least, not at the moment. Even the occasional hookup takes…effort. I happen to have specific needs that I want fulfilled quickly and hiring escorts takes the guesswork out of that.”

“And what is it that you need? Apart from something ‘different’ than what you normally get from other escorts?”

This was one of the things you enjoyed about escorts. They’re intent on getting to know more about you and what you like. They’re hard-wired to please their clients, to make sure that they keep coming back for more. That was their business, but at the end of the day, it was a judgment-free zone. And you appreciated that you can be honest about what you wanted and how you wanted it done.

“I just want to be handled.” You say to him frankly, without breaking eye contact.

He smiled. “And you think I’m the one who can take care of business for you?”

While scrolling through their app, Namjoon’s profile intrigued you, right off the bat. It was something in the look in his eyes that pulled you in. And your conversation during your initial meeting sealed the deal for you.

“Well…can you?” You already knew the answer but still wanted to challenge him.

He smiles cockily but doesn’t answer your question, but still stays on topic. “So, you like to be dominated every now and then?” He asks, based on what he’s read from your profile.

You relax your shoulders, leaning back in your seat. “In a way? But, on my own terms.”

He chuckled at your bossiness. “Hard habit to break?”

You smiled. “It’s…difficult to explain.”

“No, I get it, I think?” He smirked, mirroring your seating position, regarding you. “You’re used to having control over your job…your life. Once in a while, you want to let go a little bit…let things happen–but in a way where you still get to have a say in it. Is that pretty close?”

It sounded strange when he verbalized it–but that was exactly it. Being in control gets so exhausting. But you were human. You needed a safe space to allow yourself to be soft–without compromising your identity.

“To put it bluntly, yes.”

He smiles, looking pleased with himself. He glances at his watch, then at you. “Are you ready for our next stop?”

“Sure! Where to?”

“There’s a museum in the middle of the park that holds weekly themed events at night. Have you heard about it?”

You shook your head. “That seems unusual. A night at the museum? Do the exhibits come to life or something?”

He cocked an eyebrow then chuckled softly at your attempt at humor. “No…but I promise you, it’s still going to be as exciting, I’ll tell you that much.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. “Really?”

He nods gently.

You purse your lips, the mystery killing you. “Will you give me a hint?”

“And ruin the surprise?” He shook his head, taking a sip of his water.

You give him your best puppy eyes, trying to quietly appeal to him. But he stares back at you quietly, unyielding.

You decide to push your luck a bit and bat your eyelashes at him. “Please?”

At the sound of that, he flexed his jaw and leaned in closer to you. You’d never seen anything hotter. He lowered his voice, deciding to throw you a bone.

“Let’s just say…you’ll be saying that word a lot when we get there.”

That made you gulp audibly.

He grins mischievously. “C’mon, we should get going before it gets too crowded there.”

******

He wasn’t kidding about this place. You’ve driven past it before but dismissed it as another Natural History Museum and Aquarium. After years in this city, you never thought to come here during the day–much less at night.

After checking in to get your tickets scanned by the entrance. Namjoon tells you that this event is for guests aged 21 and over only. A guest services staff checks your IDs–you look away when he presents his and he does the same when you present yours. Careful to protect both your identities.

“Thank you both. Welcome to Night Life!” The staff says enthusiastically.

You walk through the glass doors. You crane your neck and scan the main hall. It doesn’t even look like a museum. Sure, there were signs leading to some exhibits and directions to the aquarium. Neon LED lights illuminated the space. There was a DJ booth whose music blasted through large speakers that were situated in strategic corners. There were cocktail carts with patrons lining up to get their drinks. It was practically a club!

“Wow–this is…different,” you remarked, still marveling at the space.

“You said you wanted ‘different’ so…” He trailed off.

Ask and you shall receive. Even though he planned this whole afternoon around things that he liked doing, he was still intent on pleasing you.

The service promised ‘satisfaction guaranteed.’ So far, you have yet to be disappointed.

“Looks fun!” You beamed in excitement.

“C’mon, let’s get you a drink,” he urges while you walk towards the closest mini-bar by the entrance.

******

Tonight’s theme was centered on wildlife photography. The museum had some guests of honor, famous photographers and documentarians who exhibited their work, which was also available for purchase.

You walked around, admiring the portraits. Very different from paintings and sculptures from your earlier museum trip, but no less interesting.

You ventured down to the lower level, where the aquarium was situated. High-top tables were spread out around the space but they left more than enough room for guests to move and admire the various exhibits.

You both stopped in front of one, which was situated in a quiet corner. Although most of the guests crowded around the jellyfishes, coral reef, and stingray exhibits–which were in larger tanks, this smaller tank fascinated you.

“Leafy seadragons. Pretty cool, huh?”

You hummed. “They’re beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like them.” These sea creatures moved slowly and gracefully in the water. It was like a seahorse but with a more fabulous outfit.

“They’re so…hypnotic,” you say distractedly.

He looked sideways at you, eyeing you intently. “When you booked me, you said it was because you wanted a different experience?”

“Yes, I did.” You cocked your head to the side, examining the exhibit for a few seconds before turning your attention back to him.

“Honestly, I was tired of the usual booking. Dinner, drinks, followed by sex–not that I’m complaining but….” You lifted a shoulder. “It gets pretty boring after a while,” you say flatly. “I thought I’d explore a bit more.”

He regarded you intently. “You know, this is the first time that a client has told me to plan out the date. I have to admit, I was pretty excited about it.”

That makes two of you.

“I wanted a change of pace. The men I’ve hired–they’re great and I liked them–for whatever purpose they served but…at a certain point, I wanted a bit more out of the dates.”

“Hmm…is this date ticking all of your boxes so far?”

He sidled up to you. The scent of his cologne hitting your senses. He didn’t bathe in it–unlike the other guys. It was subtle, but still potent enough to make you feel off-balance.

“Not all of it.” You stared at him hungrily. “There’s one more box that I haven’t quite determined yet.”

He smirked. “If you’re relying on your statistics, wouldn’t you think I’d have already fulfilled everything you wanted out of this experience?”

You smirked back at him. “Well, unlike you, I’m not big on guessing games or theories. I’m more of a—what’s the word—pragmatic? And I like to experience things firsthand before I come to my own conclusion.”

“Oh, is that right? You’d like to come to your own conclusion?”

“Yes.” You try not to sound too breathless.

“Hm. That’s fair.”

You sighed softly. “Because how would I know…what I don’t know? And I don’t trust hearsay.”

“I couldn’t agree more. So, when would you like to rectify that?” His hand crept up the small of your back and started drawing soft, circular patterns on it.

“As soon as possible. I’d hate to pay overtime if I don’t need to.”

“You won’t need to. One thing about me is that I’m very efficient. I prioritize quality…over quantity.” You turned your head to the side to find his face inches away from yours. “But…I can fulfill both, if you want.” He purred.

“Yes...”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, that’s what I want,” you swallowed hard.

A smile ghosted his lips. He looked sideways for a brief moment then turned his hot gaze back to you. “Would you like a prelude?”

Your breath caught in your throat. Before you could answer, he backs you into a corner that you weren’t even aware of until now.

The barely lit, constricting space makes you feel a little bit panicked, but also excited.

“What if someone sees us?”

“Nobody will see us. I made sure of that,” he replied confidently. His hand gripped one side of your hip firmly, his fingers flexing, as if testing your limits.

You tilt your chin up, inching closer to his face. “You look like you’ve done this before,” you say breathily.

He dipped his head lower, his mouth a hair’s breadth away from you. “And if I have, would you care?”

His lips brushed behind your ear. One of his hands pressed flat to your stomach, the fingers splaying to urge you deeper into the corner. He was as aroused as you were, his cock already hard against your thigh.

You’d never gotten frisky in public–but that didn’t mean that it was a hardline for you. All you needed was the right partner for it.

Your hand slid down, past his waist, grazing his crotch. “As long as you know what you’re doing, I don’t really care.”

He lifted his head at your boldness and stared you down. You stared back at him in the dim light and nipped at his lower lip.

He groaned and sealed his mouth over yours. His lips were firm but exerted gentle pressure. You sighed and his tongue dipped inside. His kiss was confident, right on-brand with what he’s shown you so far…and it had the right amount of aggression that turned you on wildly.

He cupped the back of your head and the curve of your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “If you want to stop at any point, just say so, YN. Do you understand?” He murmured past your lips.

You nodded.

“Say it,” he ordered.

“Yes. I understand.”

He caught your lips again, hand gliding past the hem of your dress and right up between your legs where he parted you with his fingers. He slid one finger into you, making you inhale sharply at the sensation.

He smiled through your kisses, pulling out then pushed back in with two fingers. You did your best to hold back a moan but a pathetic whine escaped your lips.

“Oh my god…” You were panting for him, your hips circling shamelessly onto his thrusting fingers. You felt like you’d lose your mind if he didn’t get you off.

You’d never been so turned on in your life. If anyone walked right past you right then and found you writhing in this corner while finger-fucked you, you wouldn’t care. You just wanted to cum.

“Do you want to hear all the ways I can please you, YN?” He holds one of your legs up with his free hand and rests it on his hip to spread you wider for him. Your cunt rippled around his stroking fingers, the rawness of his words pushing you to the brink.

He was breathing hard, too. His face was flushed, eager to give you what you needed, what you craved.

“I can do anything…everything you ask me to.” Hearing you whine softly, he takes your mouth again, swallowing the rest of your moans while his fingers pumped in and out of you.

Your insides pulsed erratically at the onslaught, that familiar feeling, surging within your belly. He withdrew his fingers and palmed your sex, rubbing rhythmic circles around your clit. You bucked your hips against his hand shamelessly, absolutely lost in the moment.

The music pumped through the speakers, swelling with a heavy bassline that thumped against your chest. One final stroke of his hand had you groaning into his mouth, your body stiffening as searing pleasure ripped right through you.

Your neck goes lax and you collapse on his shoulder, trying to catch your breath. You could feel his heart pounding against your chest.

“Fuck, you make the sexiest noises…I’m going to have so much fun with you tonight,” he chuckles darkly.

******

You waited until the coast was clear, giving him a few minutes to get his raging hardon down. Truth be told, you didn’t mind if he fucked you right then. But you were paying him a premium price…and you wanted to enjoy him to the fullest, preferably with all of his clothes off.

You called a car to head straight to the hotel where you booked a room for the night. You never took guys back into your home–it was too risky–didn’t matter how hot they were.

You continued to make out in the backseat. The driver, bless his heart, did his best to look away while you both sighed and giggled like horny teenagers.

When you arrived at the entrance, you tipped him generously as you and Namjoon practically sprinted past a crowded lobby and towards the bank of elevators. Thankfully, the hotel allowed you to check in earlier today. You didn’t think you’d be able to endure another second without his body pressed up against you.

You stumbled out of the elevators and staggering down the hall to your room. It was a challenge trying to untangle yourself from him. As you fumbled for the hotel keycard in your purse, his lips were on your neck, hands snaking up your dress. You hurried to pull the card out or you’d risk him fucking you out in the hallway.

The door clicks open and you both barrel into the room, his mouth shifting up to your lips to taste you again. Distantly, you hear him kick the door shut, continuing to back you further to the bedroom.

He spins you around, your back pressed against him, caging you while his hand roams all around your front. Squeezing your breast with one, the other rubbing at your clothed pussy.

You threw your head back in low moan as he nipped at your neck, grinding his hard cock between your ass cheeks.

Boy, did he know how to make a woman feel good…and abso-fucking-lutely aroused.

Somehow, you found yourself right by the foot of the bed. He spins you around again and pushes you softly, making you fall to the mattress. The hem of your dress scandalously hiked up past your waistline.

He hisses at the sight of your laced panties, so you decide to push his buttons. You pull your dress up over your head, leaving you laid up in your underwear. You reach back and unclasp your bra, tossing it to the side.

He bit his lower lip, as if fighting the animalistic urge to completely devour you.

Keeping his eyes trained on you, he unbuttoned his shirt, painfully slowly–before his fingers moved to undo his jeans in the same, controlled manner.

Your body practically vibrated with anxiety–beating you at your own game.

You grunted. “We don’t have all night, you know,” you said through gritted teeth while you watched his hand go past his boxer-briefs’ waistband, stroking his length beneath it.

“I know,” he says simply.

Your mouth was watering, you wanted him to take you, five minutes ago!

You scooched back further on the bed, lifted your hips to rid yourself of your panties. You spread your legs wide to entice him. “What are you waiting for then?”

“For you.”

You threw your head back in frustration and flatten your back on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. “What are you talking about? I’m ready!” You whine petulantly.

“I know that.” He pulled a condom out of his pants pocket.

“So, fuck me now!”

There was a beat of silence in the room, filled by the sound of your heaving breaths.

“You have to ask nicely first,” he says evenly.

You sat back up quickly at the sound of that. He was naked in front of you now, your core clenching involuntarily at the sight of him. He cocked his eyebrow at you until realization sets in and you recall your conversation from this afternoon.

You took a deep breath to dull the pounding in your chest.

“Please,” you say quietly.

“I can’t hear you.” He teases you further, slipping the condom casually down his length. Your mouth went dry.

You cleared your throat. This was what you wanted–to loosen the reins, give up control for a bit…and be dominated…on your own terms.

“Please,” you say a little louder.

“Please…what?”

“Please…Fuck. Me.” You enunciated every word for him.

He grinned wickedly, crawling up the mattress towards you, like a predator zeroing in on its prey. “That’s a good girl.”

You were pressed full-body against him, achingly aware of every hot, hard inch of him. You kissed him back, tasting him. Savoring him. Your skin was damp and way too sensitive, your breasts heavy and tender. Your clit throbbed for attention, the pounding reaching up to your ears along with your raging heartbeat.

He was levered over you, his arm supported his torso while his right hand gripped the back of your knee, sliding upward along your thigh in a firm glide.

A low rumble vibrated in his chest, the primitive sound sending goosebumps coursing through your pores.

In a daze, you watched Namjoon’s body lower, your legs sliding apart to accommodate the width of his hips. Your muscles strained with the urge to lift toward him, to hasten the contact between you that you’d been craving since he fingered you at the museum. Lowering his head, he took your mouth…hard, bruising your lips in the process.

You pulled on his silky strands, making him growl while your kisses deepened, stroking your tongue with lush licks of his own. You felt the same intense pounding of his heart against your chest, proof that he was right in this same moment with you.

“I want you so much,” you breathed out in between kisses. “What are you doing to me?”

“I’m going to make you cum over…and over…’til you beg me to stop.”

“Fuck, yes,” You muttered, aware that you weren’t offended. In fact, the rawness of his hunger for you was a serious aphrodisiac.

“Let me in, then.”

You very eagerly reached between you, reaching for his cock. Spreading wider for him you rubbed the tip against your slick folds. The contact would have made you orgasm at the friction but you preferred to cum while he was inside you.

You guided him to your center, gasping at the way he parted your flesh. He pushed in gently, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

“You okay?”

“Yes,” you respond while your walls adjust to the stretch. “More…please.”

His jaw hardened. He pulled out slightly then slid his cock back in, pushing deeper. Your mouth falls open while he fills you to the brim.

“Ffuuckkk…” you dragged out, digging your nails into his biceps.

“You’re so tight…”

“You’re just huge,” you countered.

He chuckled devilishly, flashing that damned dimple at you. Tightening his hold, he starting fucking you, nailing your hips to the mattress with deep, fierce thrusts. Pleasure rippled through you again, pushing through you with every drive of his body.

He buried his face in your neck and held you tightly in place, fucking you hard and fast, whispering raw, sex-crazed words that drove you to absolute insanity.

“You feel me deep in you, huh? I can feel it against my stomach…my dick pounding into you.”

You’d give him this round. You made small, helpless sounds of want while his mouth ate yours. You were desperate for him, nails digging into his ass, struggling to meet his thrusts with your own.

“Come on, baby…” he ordered. “Cum for me now…”

You climaxed in such a rush that had you babbling incoherently, the sensation elevated by the way he’d possessed your body. He threw his head back, shuddering at the feel of your insides pulsating and gripping at him tightly.

Still trying to piece your brain back from your orgasm, you vaguely register him pulling out of you, making you wince.

Lifting you, he moved you, shifting your positions so that his back was to the headboard and you spread over him. Your bodies sliding against each other with a generous layer of sweat.

“Do you want to take your control back?”

Your breath hitched. While you enjoyed begging him to do things to you, you couldn’t fight the urge to take some of that power back for yourself.

“Yes,” you answered, definitely.

With your knees on either side of his hips, you straightened your spine, making you tower over him now.

Leaning back further, he stretched his arms on either side of him. “Go ahead and take it, then.”

You ran your hands down his chest, relishing the hardness of his muscles. Your fingers traced the ridges of his pectorals, his abdomen…your own personal, interactive art exhibit right in front of you.

You rocked your hips against him, stroking yourself with the hard length of his cock. His breath hissed out between clenched teeth.

“Don’t tease me–put me back in,” he practically demanded.

Now it was your turn to torture him. “Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

He cupped your face and pressed his lips hard against yours. You reached down to stroke his length–the condom, covered in your slick.

He tensed but didn’t stop you. He handed control back to you. He closed his eyes and groaned at the delicious punishment you were giving to him. The sounds he made were both pained and erotic to you. You squeezed him gently, your touch deliberately tender as you sized him with your hands. You slid both of your fists up his length from root to tip, your breath catching when he shuddered beneath you.

Namjoon gripped your thighs, his hands sliding upwards until his thumbs grazed your taut nipples. He pinched and tugged at them, making you moan into his mouth.

“I can beg, too, if that’s what it takes to be inside you again,” he murmured into your mouth.

“Say it.” You stroked him with one hand.

One of his thumbs slid beneath you, the pad sliding through the slickness of your dripping core. “Please, YN…Fuck me,” he said so clearly, his eyes gleaming at you.

Your cheeks heated. The evenness of his tone sent a burst of confidence through you.

Setting your hands on his shoulders for balance, you lifted onto your knees, rising to gain the height you needed to hover over the tip of his cock. His hands gripped your hips, steadying you.

His hardness brushed past your inner thighs as he moved and you whimpered, so aching and empty, as if the orgasms he’d given you earlier had only aggravated your craving rather than sated it.

He tensed when you wrapped your fingers around him and positioned him, tucking the wide head against the saturated folds. The scent of sex was heavy and kicked the room’s temperature up several notches–it was a dizzying mix of need and pheromones that awakened every inch of you.

“God. YN,” he gasped as you lowered onto him, his hands flexing restlessly on your thighs.

You closed your eyes briefly. When you opened them, you were eye-to-eye, only inches apart.

“Move for me, please.” His gasped words were threaded with a hint of delicious agony.

He didn’t need to ask twice. Your hips rolled of their own volition.

He reached down, massaged your clit with the pad of his thumb, rubbing slow, expert circles. Your core tightened and clenched tightly around him in a vice-like grip. He was so agonizingly gorgeous, lying beneath you, watching you take what you wanted from him.

His neck arched, fighting to restrain himself from barrelling his hips against you. “Ah, fuck…you feel so good,” he bit out, his teeth grinding.

He was so deep you could hardly stand it, forcing you to shift from side to side, trying to ease the unexpected bite of discomfort with his size. But your body didn’t seem to care that he was too big. Your cunt took him greedily–as if it couldn’t get enough. Your walls rippled around him, squeezing…on the verge of orgasm.

Unable to contain himself any further, Namjoon cursed under his breath, held on to your hip with one hand, urging you to lean back with the other, as his chest heaved. You stretched your arms back, holding onto his thighs for support and leverage.

You opened up wider, taking more of him in. Your belly fluttered at how much deeper he sank, hitting the tip of your cervix, savoring the soreness as he pushed just past your limits.

His hips churned impatiently, meeting your thrusts. You lifted carefully, sliding up a few inches before he stopped you with that ferocious grasp on your hip.

Your eyes locked on each other as the pleasure coursed through your bodies. The sounds that escaped his lips spurred you, as if the pleasure were as unbearable for him as it was for you.

Somewhere along the way, primitive instinct took over you, leaving your body completely in charge. Your sole focus was the urge to fuck him out of his mind, the vicious need to ride him until the tension burst and set you free of this mindless, animalistic hunger.

“Fuck…yes…oh my god…so good,” you mewled, lost to him.

Using both hands, he directed your rhythm, his cock rubbing that tender, aching bundle of nerves inside you. You shook involuntarily, realizing that your orgasm was creeping up quicker than you anticipated.

“Ah, shit–I’m close,” you gasped out.

Leaning forward slightly, he captured you by the nape, pulling you closer to him. Your orgasm exploded through you, starting with deep, throbbing spasms of your core before radiating outward until you shivered all over.

He watched you fall apart, holding your gaze when you would’ve closed your eyes. Possessed by his stare, you cried hoarsely, cumming harder than you ever had, your body jerking with every pulse of your nerves.

He growled, pounding his hips up at you, yanking your hips lower to meet his merciless lunges. He tunneled into you, hitting you with every deep thrust.

You watched him intently, wanting–no, needing to see what it was like when he went over the edge. His eyes were wild, pupils dark and blown out wide…losing their focus as his control melted away, his face marred by the brutal need to climax.

He came with a feral growl…his deep, animalistic groans riveted you with their ferocity. He shook as his orgasm ripped through him, making you clench at the sensation of him spurting into the condom.

You cupped his face, his features softening after riding out his high. You brush your thumb across his lips, a small offering of comfort and intimacy as his stuttered, gasping breaths fanned your face.

He wrapped his arms around you, pressing his damp forehead against yours.

“Wow,” you breathed, shaken.

His lips twitched. “You can say that again.”

You both smiled, feeling dazed and high.

You stayed like that for a minute, holding each other, absorbing the aftershocks. He turned his head and kissed you softly, the gentle strokes of his tongue into your mouth, slowing the pounding in your chest to a steady thrum.

You lifted gingerly off him, biting your lip at the feel of him slipping wetly out of you. The friction was enough to make you want more. But you had to admit, you were spent–fully satisfied.

He disposed of the condom, offering to help clean you up–and you let him. Shortly after, he jumped into the shower.

******

You were in a bathrobe, in the middle of checking your emails when he stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed again.

“Are you okay?” He asks, as if he hadn’t already checked on you minutes ago.

“Yes I am, thank you,” you replied. “Are you alright?”

He laughed. “I’ll admit, I think I need another minute.”

You smiled while you walked towards where you set your purse down, on the coffee table by the window. While he was in the shower, you picked it up off the floor after you dropped it haphazardly when you were both in the midst of your horny entanglement earlier.

“By the way, I should have given you this sooner.” You reached in to grab an envelope of cash and hand it to him. “I uh–sort of got distracted earlier,” you chuckled sheepishly.

“Well…you and me both,” he laughs, taking his payment. “As long as you don’t tell my boss about it.”

You gestured as if zipping your lips. “He’ll only hear about the good things,” you promised.

“Thank you,” he says, pocketing the money.

“Where are you off to now? Do you have other bookings today?” It wasn’t awkward for you to make smalltalk. It was all business anyway.

“I actually had to reschedule my next client,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck while he looked down at his phone that he held with his other hand. “You kind of wore me out. You’re making me rethink my workout regimen.”

You laughed heartily. “That might be a good idea. You’ve got to work on your stamina.” You winked at him before turning to your phone again, clicking at the screen.

His brows furrowed, feeling a little slighted. “Why’s that?

Before he gets an answer, his phone pings with a distinctive alert from his BFE app. When he glances at it to check, the crease between his eyebrows soften when the request pops up on his screen. He looks up at you and grins.

“Because I’m booking you again and I’m gonna need you to keep up with me.”

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging my KNJ hoes: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @e-cm @reliablemitten @miksancheese

#bts fanfiction #namjoon #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon #bangtanbathhouse #btswritingcafe #btshoneyhive #btscarnivalnet #namjoon smut #bts smut #bts kim namjoon #bts namjoon #bts rm #knj smut #TheBFE x knj

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personasintro · 3 years ago

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prohibido. | 08 [knj]

⏤𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜; Namjoon is an art himself. Shame that he’s forbidden - he’s your brother’s best friend. And your colleague.

⏤𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: strong language, mature content

⏤𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: namjoon x reader

⏤𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: fluff, angst, smut

⏤𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 13.5k+

a/n: you're not seeing things! we're finally getting a new chapter!! I can't wait to read your feedback, don't forget to reblog and like if you enjoyed this chapter x

m.list | ☕️

⇠ prev. | index | next ⇢

Jin's message (or more like messages) have haunted you the whole night. While Namjoon seemed to sleep peacefully, a soft snores leaving his mouth, you stared at the plain ceiling until your mind couldn't take it and you fell asleep. However, even in your dreams you couldn't rest properly and your dreams were filled with different scenarios. The worst thing about it is that all of them included angry Jin and Namjoon's bruised face.

You're not sure what Jin would do if he knew. Would he punch Joon? Would he yell at the both of you? Would he be mad if you just told him the truth?

A part of you wants to yell in his face, tell him that yes you like his best friend and there's nothing he can do about it. The other part is aware of Jin's and Namjoon's friendship and how it could affect not just their friendship, but your relationship with Jin.

You want to tell him eventually. That's what you and Namjoon agreed on.

However, you need to plan it and make sure you tell him at the right time. Something tells you there never will be the right time.

Over breakfast, you spilled everything about Seokjin's messages to Namjoon, freaking out. At least one of you kept their cool and that one of you has been Namjoon, of course. He assured you everything will be fine.

Even though you were freaking out, nicely said, you remained cool in the message and simply replied to him you'll explain everything to him later. He seemed a little skeptical but he let it go, thankfully, but that didn't mean it eased your mind. Not a bit.

"Are you still thinking about Jin?" Namjoon sighs at the other end of the circled table, seeing you poking your pasta for the hundredth time within five minutes.

It's your lunch break. Namjoon kindly offered to take you out for lunch, quickly getting you out of the building before anyone else could join you. Still, he has to keep his hands to himself. You can't risk anyone to know about the two of you. Not until you'll make it official and tell it to Jin.

"I'm sorry," you whine, pouting a bit as Namjoon gives you an empathetic smile.

"Don't apologize," he tells you softly, "I'm just as freaked out as you are. But we'll think of something."

You look at him, giving him the best smile you can muster as you allow yourself to enjoy the food. You're ruining the mood not just to you, but to the gentleman in front of you as well.

Well, three days later and you didn't think of something.

You're fucked as far as you know.

You successfully dodged Seokjin's attempts to visit you during the week, saying you have actual work which he always respected knowing how serious you take your work. But when Friday has finally come, you couldn't decline his offer to hang out without making it suspicious. So you agreed.

That's not the worst part though. Seokjin actually asked Namjoon to hang out as well because apparently, according to Namjoon's own words, he has been dodging Seokjin's attempts to hang out too. It's already too suspicious, so the two of you agreed and promised to act like there's nothing going on between you two.

Not until you actually go at least on a first date.

So here you are. Squeezed on Namjoon's couch between Jin and Namjoon, trying to act as if the man sitting on your right hasn't had his mouth on you. God, if Jin knew he wouldn't be laughing at one of his awkward jokes so much.

It's safe to say you're both nervous about what will come out of Seokjin's mouth next. Not even Namjoon's attempt to look relaxed helps. You can feel him stiffening every minute, glancing at you but you ignore him, not wanting to raise any suspicion.

"So, where were you when I tried to come over?" Seokjin asks while you're in the middle of taking a sip of your soda, the liquid almost catching in your throat as you swallow it quickly, staring at Seokjin like a deer caught in highlights.

"What do you mean where was I? Out, obviously." You try to play it cool, chuckling a little at the end to mask your nervosity as you feel Namjoon stiffen next to you again.

You got this, Y/N. Just play it cool and he won't know you're lying straight through your teeth. Technically, you're not lying. You're just not telling him any details.

"Don't play smart with me," he scoffs, nudging you in your shoulders slightly as he chuckles before his features harden when he looks at you. "Is there a reason why you lied to me?"

There it is. The stern look he's giving you, a very rare one which you're not used to. It makes you squirm underneath his gaze, hoping Namjoon's couch could swallow you whole so you wouldn't have to put up with Jin's curiosity. You know Jin would never judge you, always supported you through everything ever since he became your brother. But now, you can see a little judgment (or is it hurt?) from the fact that yes, you were lying to him and you both know it. There's proof in both of your phones and there's no way of denying it.

"I'm sorry for lying," you tell him. You really are. You wish you could just tell him everything, but it's not that simple. First of all, you and Namjoon have to be sure you're hundred percent sure of yourselves. Once your relationship is more serious, then you'll figure out how to tell Jin.

"I just didn't want you to worry about me and to be honest, there are a few things I'd like to keep to myself."

You see the little look of astonishment he gives you, genuinely taken back from the choice of your words as you stare at him with your head held high. Not even the sounds coming from the television is enough to blur the little awkwardness sitting in the air between you.

"Do we have to talk about it right now?" you ask, emphasizing that it's not the right time to have this conversation. Seokjin looks unbothered though.

"Actually, I think right now is the right time."

And then his eyes shift behind you, fully directed at Namjoon who's trying to act as if he's not present at all, staring at the television barely breathing. You know what this is about. This is not Seokjin being curious about your whereabouts or caring that you lied to him, well to a certain extent. He's testing you. He has a suspicion you were with Namjoon, even though he promised him he'd never touch you. Well, he broke that promise but Jin doesn't know that.

Still, he's suspicious about you two. Namjoon has always tried not to interfere between you and Seokjin, fully respecting the sibling relationship the two of you have going on. But he's awfully quiet, barely moving and Seokjin's dark eyes on him certainly don't help.

Namjoon is no liar. He's already hurt that he has to lie to his best friend.

You've to do something before Jin will start questioning Namjoon. You can't risk him blowing this up when you haven't gone to your date first. Seokjin is smart. He knows you don't have that many girl friends. Sona being the only one whom you constantly hang out with.

Think, Y/N. The only reason you wouldn't tell the truth is if there's a guy involved. Not really, but it makes sense since you told him there are certain things you don't want to share with him. And the only person who comes to your mind is...

"Taehyung," you blurt out, "I was out with Taehyung."

Forgive me, Taehyung. You had to use him for your little white lie to protect your and Namjoon's relationship. And their friendship too.

Mentioning Taehyung causes Namjoon to finally look at you, brows pinched together as you just give him a look before he relaxes his features and acts as if he's not affected at all. You can tell your choice of lie has surprised him.

"Taehyung? Who's Taehyung?" Seokjin asks, brows furrowed in confusion.

"My co-worker." you shrug, tapping your fingers against your knee as you're pleased with your lie. He looks puzzled for a second, trying to remember you mentioning Taehyung before he gives up and looks back at you.

"Were you on a date?" he asks curiously, noticing the way your eyes widen at the thought.

Taehyung is handsome, a little nuisance sometimes but nice nevertheless. There's no way the two of you would go on a date. Even the thought of it is funny and ridiculous.

"No," you answer simply, "We were just hanging out. Can't I just hang out with a guy?" You do sound defensive, in hope to get him off your back as he puts his arms in surrender.

"No, of course you can. Why lie then?"

"Because I didn't want you to think I'm on a date. You wouldn't believe me even if I told you." you lie straight through your teeth, surprisingly doing an amazing job at it.

It doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. You feel awful for lying to him, fully understanding how Namjoon must've felt when he lied to him. You're in the same position right now and you do feel awful. You just hope your regret isn't all over your face. It'd give away everything.

Seokjin looks skeptical for a moment, searching your face for a moment before he plops some of the popcorn into his mouth. "I mean... it's alright if you were on a date. I'm not that psychotic, I hope you know that. I'm just trying to protect you."

"I'm an adult, Jin. I don't need your protection."

You watch his brows furrow, obviously hurt by your honest and sharp words. They don't sound sharp to you though. For once, you're telling the truth. You don't need his constant protection. You're thankful for it nevertheless, but he needs to understand not every guy will break your heart like Soobin did.

He doesn't react to it, at least not verbally until he looks at Namjoon with a hidden glint in his eyes. "Why are you so quiet?"

You feel Namjoon stiffening for a moment, wanting nothing more than just to reach out to him and hold him, tell him he doesn't have to be so nervous. But you can't. All you can do is to turn and look at him, using Jin directly speaking to him. This way Jin doesn't see your face and when Namjoon's eyes fall onto your face, he's met with a soft look in your eyes. He shakes out of it, looking back at Seokjin as he relaxes.

"Don't pull me into this. It's between you and her. I'm not involved in this." he replies bluntly, shaking his head while his arms are crossed over his buffed out chest.

You look at Jin who's already looking at you, with a puzzled look as you just simply shrug and turn your attention to the television just like Namjoon. This time you got him off your backs. You've to be careful if he already busted you out without even seeing you and Namjoon.

Namjoon has done an amazing job at acting nonchalant. But the opposite of his words are true. Little does Seokjin know that he's fully involved in it and that he's been already pulled into it the moment he has decided to kiss you.

When your mom introduced her new, and only boyfriend ever since your parents got divorced, you were a little skeptical about it. You were just a kid who was just getting used to having divorced parents. It's not like she met her then boyfriend months after the divorce. She met him two years later and you can clearly remember the way she nervously picked on her nails, staring at her only daughter in hope she won't hate the new man in her life.

You were too young, just a kid, to understand that your mom has every right to find someone else in her life as a lover. Just because she's divorced it doesn't mean she has no chance to find someone else who will love and cherish her.

You were more intrigued rather than scared of meeting someone close to your mom, well... because she is your mom and you won't let anyone steal her from you. It's kid's logic. What intrigued you the most was the little boy standing beside the newly introduced man. He was tall for his age, older than you too but your curiosity got the best of you.

"Sweetheart, this is Jin. It's Jinhyun's son." Your mother introduced him to you, voice tender and sweet as she watched her daughter tilt her head to the side.

"Hi, Jin." When those two simple but sweet words left your mouth, your mother visibly sighed in relief, causing Jinhyun to chuckle as he whispered to your mother 'I told you not to worry'.

The tall man kneeled in front of you, still kept his distance in case you'd react badly from the sudden proximity of an unknown man who's practically stranger to you.

"How about we take you guys to the ZOO? Would you like that?"

One thing was sure. Seokjin's dad is good with kids.

Your eyes lit up and you stared at your mother, looking for approval or more like confirmation that yes, you're about to go and see different kinds of animals. Seokjin yelled a cheerful 'Yes!" right away, taking his father's hand as both parents smiled at their excited kids.

Kids are better at being friends with their peers than adults. You and Seokjin walked beside each other and admired every single animal in the ZOO, talking about the most random and kid stuff you could possibly think of at that time.

You remember when you stared through the glass, completely frightened by the huge yellow snake that made you back away. Jin noticed it, his eyes of curiosity and admiration at the sight of the dangerous reptile changed in seconds as he walked over to you.

"Don't worry, he's behind the glass. He can't hurt you." He told you, hand reassuringly on your tiny shoulder as you stared with huge eyes at the older boy, nodding. Then, he took your hand and protectively led you through the whole room full of scary reptiles until you made it outside.

If you think about it, he's been protecting you since day one. There's always been so much good in his heart. It was a matter of weeks before you completely grew attached to Seokjin, the new figure in your life. You suddenly had a sibling, something your friends who had siblings always complained about. But you didn't. Because he not only became your brother but a very close friend too.

As your age changed and with each year the two little kids grew up, your relationship has still been the same. Seokjin has been one of the most stable people in your life.

The first time you got drunk? Seokjin had been there, covering your ass so your mom wouldn't find out you drank with your friends. The first time you had your first kiss? You told him about it. The first time you had a crush? He knew and was there when you got all pouty about some random handsome boy not showing his interest in you.

Seokjin has always meant well, you've known that no matter how many times you found his protectiveness annoying. It's one of the reasons why you feel the cracks of guilt in your heart, even though you tell yourself you're not wrong by finally finding someone who genuinely likes you and couldn't possibly hurt you. Someone who's not Soobin and is way better than him.

"Joon," you giggle, slightly shaking out of Namjoon's grasp as his lips tickle you on your cheek. He's been very touchy, ever since you gave him a perfect opportunity to do nothing else.

He helped with everything he was capable of doing without hurting himself. One of the things you find cute about Namjoon, and were quite surprising at first, is how clumsy he is. Especially in the kitchen with zero knowledge of cooking.

It's one of your date nights. These are happening frequently, in a safe place in Namjoon's home. It's the only place that seems to be suitable for you two to hang out and be yourselves without having to constantly look over your shoulders. It's been hard to control your words and face in the office too, you've been spending your working hours in fear someone would catch the heart in your eyes immediately. Or if they could see something in your smile whenever you smiled at Namjoon. You've grown very delusional. Even Namjoon told you so.

But with Haerim looking at you throughout the day, especially when Namjoon was near, you had an urge to be extra careful. Haerim has a big mouth. If she knew there's something going on between you and Namjoon, she wouldn't hesitate to open her mouth and it'd be just a matter of time before it'd get to Seokjin's ears.

You want to tell him alone. You and Namjoon. That's how you've decided to do this.

You don't want to ruin it by not being careful and simply reckless.

Namjoon's deep chuckle vibrates against your cheek, your heart thumping in your chest when you feel his hands securely gripping your hips.

Like you said, Namjoon's apartment has become a security place for your secret dates. At first, Namjoon brought you to restaurants situated a little behind Seoul. But as much as he insisted, it has become very inconvenient trying to go there with a car and there wasn't a certainty someone would not recognize you.

Your apartment is out of limits since Jin has keys from it, ever since his apartment was being renovated and he needed a place to stay. You never wanted them back, you don't mind him having your spare keys. It happened a few times that you forgot your keys in the office and you found out after you were standing in front of your apartment building. It was too late to get them back from your work. Sure, with a few phone calls maybe you'd be able to get them back but rather than bothering someone after working hours, you could've always just called Jin and he'd be there in a few minutes with the spare keys.

It's not like Jin uses them when you're home or barges in when you're not there. He likes to make surprise visits from time to time. Just to be safe, your apartment is not an option for now.

"You could've helped me with grating the cheese, instead of distracting me." you tell him, scolding him a little but the smile on your lips can be heard quite clearly.

"Distracting you?" he laughs, slightly pulls away. "I asked you if I should help with something. You could've let me do that." he reminds you, tone soft but scolding at the same time.

You already know how miserable he feels about not being able to cook you a proper meal. So you both settled on him helping while watching and learning as you cook. Somehow, your cooking lesson turned into him being distracted by you, not being able to keep his hands to himself. Not that you're complaining but he's making it very hard for you not to turn off the stove and let him do whatever he wants with you.

"I want to eat tonight." you tell him, looking across your shoulder to let him see your teasing grin as he dramatically opens mouth and feigns a gasp.

"Rude," he complains, "It's not my fault I'm slow at things."

That's not true. He's not slow at everything. Just cooking. But that's only because he has no clue what to do when he's in the kitchen. The memory of him cutting with the knife case on is still very fresh, and very amusing.

"Don't pout. I'm done anyways," you tell him, putting the remaining cheese back in its package before you turn off the stove with the sauce. "Can you serve the pasta? I'll get the sauce."

"Sure." he says, doing exactly what you asked him to do.

Glancing at him, your mouth opens to warn him but it's too late as he grabs the pot with hot pasta in it. He winces, arm shooting up as he starts shaking it with brows furrowed and if the looks could kill, the pot would no longer be sitting on the wooden board.

When you see he's fine, you press your lips together to prevent yourself from giggling at the funny grimace he's making while he inspects his burned finger. There's nothing there. He looks up, meeting your eyes as his brows shoot up before he sends you a slight glare.

"Don't say anything." he grumbles, causing you to shrug innocently as he reaches for the kitchen mitt gloves.

"Let me at least take care of the dishes." Namjoon insists, or more like complains behind you as you load the dirty dishes into his dishwasher.

An amused smile slips onto your lips. Loading the dirty dish is the most simple thing and it's not your hands that would fall doing this task too. However, you know it has something to do with Namjoon's male ego, and maybe his kindness too. That's why you leave the last remaining empty and dirty plates in its place, motioning for Namjoon to take care of it.

He does, very pleased that he could've helped with the last two plates even if you could've easily done it by yourself. You smile to yourself, finding him adorable as he proudly turns on the dishwasher. When he's all done, he reaches towards you and pulls you closer to him as you hug him around his waist.

"Thanks for cooking," he says gently, looking at you down while your head is tilted upwards to be able to look at him. "I'll get better at it, for our sake."

You giggle, finding his determination amusing and adorable at the same time. Still, you assure him he doesn't have to. Not everyone is able to cook. At least he can cook scrambled eggs and the basic breakfasts that don't involve too much cutting and knowledge in the kitchen. He brushes it off, still very much determined to be able to cook you a dinner for your date.

"Let's go," he tells you, his big hand slipping into yours with ease as he gently tugs you out of the kitchen. "I've got something for you."

You're intrigued, letting him lead you to his bedroom that for some reason makes your heart beat faster. Ever since that time in Namjoon's living room where you pleasured each other, Namjoon never instituted something more to happen. Yeah, making out and cuddling is on a daily basis with you and it all still feels very fresh. For some reason, none of you tried to take things further or even repeat that time when Namjoon brought you one of your best orgasms, if not the best.

Instantly welcomed with the nice scent of wood and freshness, you're tugged into the room to stand in the middle of it. You look around, noticing a few new plants decorating his nightstand and chest of drawers. That's why it smells so fresh in here, you think before your thoughts and curiosity is cut off by Namjoon's hand slipping from yours.

"Close your eyes," he tells you, smiling as you frown through a grin. "Trust me." he rolls his eyes amusingly at you.

"Alright." you murmur, closing your eyes slowly as Namjoon's grinning face is the last thing you see.

You hear him shuffling a little bit, even the sound of something falling to the floor which makes him curse under his breath. Your giggles resound in the room and Namjoon looks at you, scared that you're peeking which he warns you not to. If your eyes weren't closed, you'd roll them playfully at him.

"Okay, you can open." he tells you, your eyes directly looking at him with a small smile before you notice he's holding something.

Your attention drops down to his hands, seeing him holding something which already looks familiar to you. How can it not when you're able to see him holding a very similar object every day in the office? This one is slightly different, looks smaller and its faded greyish color distinguishes from the one he owns. The one you gave him.

"Joon..." you mumble softly, heart thumping in your chest as he gives you a sheepish look, letting you take it from his hands as you gently caress the fake leather.

"I know it's not something you use on a daily basis and you prefer taking your notes on your phone, I've seen you writing some of your ideas on a piece of paper a couple of times. So, I thought it'd be cute if you had your own notepad, considering you bought me a similar one."

You gasp, checking out the notepad in your hands. "It has my initials!"

"Ah, yeah. I got it customized," he shrugs casually, causing you to raise a brow at him. "What? You think you're the only one who gets to customize their gift?"

You laugh at his silliness, mostly emotional not that he only gifted you the same thing you gifted him, but it's the thought behind it that counts the most. The fact he saw you taking notes on a single piece of paper, not that you mind it that much, honestly you could care less where you take your notes. But it's his thoughtfulness that makes you jump into his arms, embracing him.

"That's so sweet." you murmur into his chest, smiling when he hugs you back with his long arms.

"Really? Don't you think it's kinda lame and kinda cheesy?" he teases, leaning his cheek against the top of your head before you slightly push away to look him in the eyes.

"Of course not," you disagree, "I mean... owning a notepad and doing it the old fashion way is your thing," He amusingly chuckles at that, "But I really appreciate it. It's so sweet, I'm almost too afraid to use it."

"Ah, it's a notepad but there is a special stack of papers you can buy into it, so you can't really run out of papers."

"Wait, really?" you ask, genuinely surprised before you realize something and pout. "I don't think your notepad does that."

"It can," he assures you with a soft smile, "I checked it."

"Of course, you did," you chuckle, playfully poking him in the chest as you hug the notepad closer to you. "Thank you."

He brings his hand to your cheek, fingers slightly caressing your cheek as he leans down to kiss you. You welcome him, chasing his lips with your own. At first, the kiss is just an innocent kiss of showing gratitude. But as you don't seem to detach them from his, you toss the notepad onto his bed as you wrap your arms around his neck.

If Namjoon is surprised by the sudden rush, he doesn't show it and quickly grows used to it because he seems just as eager to get closer to you. His hands stay on your hips, gently squeezing them meanwhile you grow even more eager. You pant into his mouth, detaching your lips just to catch a breath as your hands rub his chest.

"I want you," you whisper, tongue swiping against your lower lip. "All of you." You make sure to look him in the eyes once you say this, making sure he sees your determination and true want for him.

"Are you sure?" he whispers, hands rubbing your lower back as you almost shudder when they're too close to your ass.

"Hundred percent," you nod, "We've been going on dates for weeks, I like you Joon. I really do. I don't think we'll have to wait, that's if you don't want this." you tell him, voice gentle but cautious at the same time when you mention he doesn't have to want this.

He could easily shake his head and tell you he's not ready. Maybe he realizes this is not what he wants with you and it'd be better to stay friends slash co-workers. You can't even bring yourself to think about it because you can't even imagine how much that would hurt you. You'd have to respect his decision nevertheless.

"You silly gorgeous human," he smiles, "Of course, I want you too. I just don't want you to regret anything if this goes south. I like spending my time with you, I like you. I wouldn't go this length to possibly ruin my friendship with your brother just for fun. We don't know what the future holds and what could possibly happen, but I know I want you by my side." he explains, your eyes watering at his words because you can't imagine he's the one saying it to you.

That Kim Namjoon you've been crushing on for months, seriously growing scared how much you liked him and how serious that crush seemed.

So you kiss him. Passionately and quick, somehow messy but you don't care. You've to be closer to him. Namjoon kisses you the same, still lingering on the same spot until you clutch his button-up between your fingers and pull him closer. He takes the hint, still gently shoving you on the bed as you obediently sit. Namjoon hovers over you, urging you to lay down as he starts kissing you all over again.

His lips are everywhere, from your lips to your cheek, from your cheek to your chin and slowly tracing down your neck and the top of your breasts that peak out from your blouse. He looks at you, eyes filled with a question as you giggle, getting some of his hair from his face that messily fell there.

"You don't have to be so gentle and unsure, Joonie," you tell him, smiling through your words. "I can handle it."

This seems to spark some kind of interest in him, his lips curling in a mischievous grin, especially when you eagerly start unbuttoning the first few buttons on your blouse. He helps, tossing it on the floor once it's all unbuttoned and you're left with your bra on. Whenever he goes to take another step, a step that involves you to get fully naked, he always kisses your lips in between. It makes you giggle and melt into his lips every time, your own hands fiddling with his button-up.

He doesn't push you away and tells you to stop, but he does let you know he wants to take care of you first, so he grabs your wrists and pins them above your head. You're shocked, you did tell him he doesn't have to be so gentle but you definitely didn't expect this all of a sudden.

But oh, do you like it. You feel the flame burning in the pit of your stomach, your hips rising from the bed and meeting his thigh whenever he sucks your skin. He pulls down your bra cup, exposing your breast and hardened nipple to his mouth as he starts kissing and sucking on it.

You moan and press your legs together, hands itching to touch him again. But the pleasure is too good and the fact he's no longer holding your hands is forgotten.

He does the same thing with your other one, once he's done he fully takes it off and in a few seconds, your bra joins your blouse on the floor too. For a few moments, he goes back to admiring and tasting your breasts, the sound of his mouth working on that specific body part echoing in the room.

"Gorgeous," he whispers, kissing down your stomach as he stops at the button of your pants. "And all mine."

Your breath hitches, eyes darkening when he looks up with his eyes only, lips brushing against your lower lip. Your gazes meet at the same time and you're ready to risk it all for this man. He's so freaking hot.

"Are you mine, Y/N?" he asks.

He knows there's no one else in your life that could compete with him. You've been focused on your work rather than finding yourself a boyfriend. And with your crush on your super handsome friend and co-worker, you knew a long time ago finding someone else that could steal your interest and attention would be hard.

"I've been yours long before you knew it." you tell him, caressing the top of his head and allowing yourself to move your hands as he smiles.

Maybe that sounded kind of creepy or weird, bringing your long time crush into this way before he could even imagine doing this with you. Or maybe it's the lack of confidence you've when it comes to him. He's smart, attractive, thoughtful and has an incredibly good heart. He could easily snatch any woman from every department in the building.

And here he is, smiling at you and kissing you on your stomach like you're the only woman he truly wants. And all of the insecurity goes away-

Namjoon takes his time exploring your body. You both know you're about to take things further and as much as you want to finally feel him inside of you, you enjoy every second of his luscious lips on your skin. Piece by piece of your clothing is gently being taken off. For just how gentle Namjoon is, he sure knows his way around teasing and being a little devil, especially whenever you whine and reach for his own clothes to take them off, he always pins them to the mattress and above your head.

You can't wait to explore another side of him, so far it seems he wants this to be romantic and slow, as if he wants to enjoy every second which he is enjoying hence to the bulge that brushes against your thigh every now and then.

And as soon as Namjoon delivers another pleasure to you, you forget everything about being impatient or the fact he pinned your wrists to the mattress. Because you get to feel his mouth on you, your fingers already in his hair as you tug onto his roots. He doesn't move your hands this time, focusing on his own task while he tastes you like a hungered man. His name is being left in soft pants and murmurs, your own hips buckling into his face shamelessly. And when he adds a finger and soon enough more fingers, you almost feel yourself cumming.

You lose track of time, you're not sure if it's minutes or seconds but with a few more pumps of his fingers and tongue flicking your clit, you're a moaning mess and cumming.

"That's it, gorgeous," Namjoon mumbles against you, hot breath hitting your sensitive spot as your legs shake. With a few licks, he hovers over you with glistening lips and dark but shiny eyes.

You bring your hands to his face, grabbing his cheeks as you urge him to kiss you. He does, tongue dancing with yours for a moment. Even with your ragged breaths and the lack of oxygen, you kiss him until you're sure you need to take a breath. You calm down from your high, fingers already working on Namjoon's button-up as he grins against your lips.

He's being slightly cocky, grinning and smirking as he sees the evident urge of undressing him. When you expose his chest, you bite your lip as he helps you to take the piece of clothing off. Undressing Namjoon is faster than when he was undressing you, you're too eager and it's proven not only by your movements, but your stern and pleading voice ushering him to take off his pants.

He chuckles but obeys, bottom lip between his teeth when you tell him; "Boxers too."

But he listens and fuck, as soon as he pulls down his underwear down his legs and his hardened length springs to life, you salivate and usher him to come to the bed. He laughs, hovering over you once more as you slowly go to wrap your hand around him. You make sure you don't do anything too fast for him but when Namjoon's gasps and moans fill the place, you know he's much more than happy about you touching him.

Pumping him, you look at the way your small hand is wrapped around his cock and almost choke when you glance up at him, seeing his brows furrowed and mouth open in pure pleasure. You pump him, feeling yourself clenching from the view and pleasure that giving Namjoon a handjob gives you. You sit up, his erection abandoned but not forgotten for a few seconds, you're ready to take him into your mouth and usher Namjoon to switch places but he stops you.

"Can we do that another time, gorgeous?" he asks, a gentle tint of red coating his cheeks. "I don't think I can make it without cumming." he admits sheepishly, bringing back a memory from a few weeks ago when you sucked him off in his living room.

He said it's been a while since he was intimate with someone else, and it's the same for you. You nod, kissing him to assure him that it's okay and you can move on. You're too excited to finally have him inside of you anyway.

With Namjoon kissing you, interrupting your kissing for a moment to reach for his nightstand and grab a condom, you can't possibly believe this is happening. Not when you're almost choking at the sight of him putting on a condom. He hovers over you again, pecking your lips while gently grabbing your chin.

"Are you really sure?" he asks for the last time, "If we do this, there's no going back."

"I don't want to go back," you tell him, "It's only about the future, right?" you smile, kissing him again when he smiles back.

He enters you with his fingers, pumping you to check if you're stretched enough. He barely gives you two pumps before he pulls them out, kissing you again. With closed eyes, you feel the head of his length gently grazing your entrance as he keeps kissing you. When he first pushes in, you gasp into his mouth at the sudden pressure and a feeling you haven't felt for a long time, Namjoon is all there to shush you with his lips while being slow and gentle. Once he's all in, he gives you a moment to get adjusted to him and he still keeps occupying you with his lips on yours.

"Ready?" he asks, voice strained as you finally recognize how much he's holding himself back.

And you're. You let him know that, gasping at every thrust he makes. At first, he's being slow and not only letting you adjust, but himself as well. Once he's sure he won't come in a second, his thrusts start to get a little bit more ruthless, his hands gripping the sheets beside your head as he always makes sure to kiss you every now and then, sometimes stopping just to kiss you and not letting himself cum right away.

He's perfect. Even more perfect than you could've imagined. Your first time is perfect.

Namjoon calls you gorgeous, perfect and all the things you wouldn't describe yourself, and if he wasn't so deep inside you and pounding into you, maybe you'd have blushed from all the compliments he's giving you.

For the second time of the night, you're cumming but this time it's around Namjoon, him being inside of you while he fucks you through it, chasing his own high. You grip the back of his neck tightly, whimpering into his mouth meanwhile with one last groan, he cums into the condom. He falls down on you, whispering an apology for almost crashing you but he's too fucked out to move. You caress his back, kissing him on his temple as face is pressed into your neck.

Everything is perfect, indeed.

Even when Namjoon turns the bath for the two of you, barely fitting there but you make it work. Words full of promises and care you promised to each other, you feel like nothing can beat you. Not even your brother that still lives in the back of your mind, and has no idea what just happened between his sister and best friend.

But that's something to worry about later. Now, you'll just enjoy the way you lay back against Namjoon's chest because it's surely a safer place than reality and possibilities of the future.

"Are you sure you and Namjoon aren't close?"

You almost choke on your coffee at the sudden presence and accusing voice, not expecting anyone to approach you just like that. But then Hyerim is just not anyone, especially when she stares you down as if she knows about everything that's been going on between you and Namjoon. You've to be careful.

"Pardon?" you blink at her, "What's this about?"

"Oh, don't play with me. You told me you're just friends and that's clearly not true," There it is, the same accusing tone she's using. As if her frowned and cold glare isn't enough.

You try to act nonchalant, even though you're mentally panicking at how sure she seems to sound. Did you and Namjoon kiss? Did you and him do something that made her be so sure of herself? You don't remember if you and Namjoon have done something to raise suspicion. You're very careful about that.

"And how would you know that?" You turn to her, raising a brow at her to mask the truth and to show her you're not scared of her accusation or her.

"Oh please, as if it wasn't obvious," she huffs, scoffing as she looks away for a second before her glare is back, aimed at you. "That kiss at the Christmas party just proved it, you were blushing like a high school girl who just kissed her new crush. You're not as sleek as you think, Y/N."

"That doesn't prove anything. We kissed because there was--you know what, I don't even owe you an explanation." you shake your head, chuckling when you see her getting even more annoyed at you.

"Just admit it. I asked you if there was something going on between you two, you lied to me!" she exclaims, catching a few stares of your co-workers and you embarrassingly smile at them before you glare at Hyerim.

You weren't lying. You were telling her truth that time. But she doesn't need to know that because you'd get your own ass, and Namjoon's, busted if you tried to justify her accusation of you lying.

"You're a liar, I've seen you staring at him with heart eyes for months. You obviously have a crush on him."

You roll your eyes. "Like I said, that doesn't prove anything."

She looks puzzled for a second, blinking at you in realization. "You didn't deny it."

"Denied what?" you huff.

"That you have a crush on him." She crosses her arms over her chest, raising a brow at you.

"Don't we all?" you ask lightly, grabbing the cup of coffee with you before you offer Hyerim a simple sigh as you walk away from her.

She stands there, glancing at you with a deep frown not pleased by your reactions. There's obviously something she caught onto, she just doesn't know what it is.

When you come back to your desk, you place your coffee there and plan to visit Namjoon's office, purposely for work of course. You wouldn't mess around while everyone is around and could catch you. But before you can turn on your heel and go see him, Taehyung calls out your name.

"Hm?" you hum, seeing him straightening himself as he cracks his neck from the constant sitting and staring at the screen.

"So... what are you doing after Christmas?"

You look dumbfounded, staring at him. "Is this your way of asking me out?"

He rolls his eyes, "Just answer please."

"Well, I'm going home for Christmas but I should be back two days after Christmas, I think." you answer, shrugging a bit before you frown in confusion at his sudden interest about your whereabouts.

"You see, I kinda need your help. I'm staying here on Christmas but I've to go to Daegu on the thirtieth. Long story short, I can't bring Tannie with me. They don't allow dogs on trains and he's scared of being in public transport anyway. I don't want to stress him with the long ride, I don't have anyone who could look after him while I'm gone. All my friends are away or busy. I wouldn't be asking you such a thing, you know how much I love Tannie, I wouldn't just put him to someone who is a stranger and I don't trust,"

Yeah, you know. He shows you photos and videos of his dog every day. It's hard to forget the fact he has a dog.

"So, I thought I should ask you. You seem to like animals and he's a very good dog, I promise."

You're surprised, standing there and watching Taehyung's puppy eyes as he practically begs you with them. "Won't he pee in my apartment?"

"He shouldn't if you walk him three times a day. Plus, I'll pack him sanitary pads just in case."

Sighing, you look at him. "Okay, I'll look after him."

"Yay!" he exclaims, shooting from his chair to hug you which catches you off guard, making you stumble slightly as you grab the edge of your desk to steady yourself.

"Oh," you let out, patting his back with your other hand. "For how long do you need me to look after him?"

He pulls away, giving you a perfect view of his boxy smile. "Just three days. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

You chuckle, shaking your head at him. "You're welcome."

He's right, you love animals and his dog is super cute. At least you won't be all alone and it'll be fun to have a dog, even if it's just for three days. Even though Namjoon keeps you company, you don't get to spend every day with him.

When you make your way into Namjoon's office, you barely get to close the door before you notice Namjoon rushing towards you.

"Wha--" You don't get to finish, mouth pressed against Namjoon's while he kisses you like there's no tomorrow.

Once he pulls away, you take a breath and open your eyes to see him grinning at you. "Namjoon! What if someone would see us? You can't kiss me just like that." you scold him, but can't help but let out a giggle as he seems too damn cute to be angry about.

"I've been wanting to kiss you the whole day, besides the door is closed. Nobody sees us," he assures you.

Ever since you had sex, you both are just craving to be closer to each other and Namjoon is even more touchy, straight-forward than you'd guess him to be. Not that you're complaining.

"This is killing me, though."

You know exactly what he means. You feel the same way and all you can offer him is your empathic smile. You take a step closer to him, hand brushing against his chest as you soothe the little crease that's on his dark blue button-up.

"I know, I feel the same way. We just need to wait a bit, at least not until we tell Jin. Until then, we have to be careful."

"We're being careful," Namjoon says, frowning a little. You know his annoyance isn't aimed at you but at the situation. "I don't get to touch you, hell I can't even smile at you in case someone gets suspicious."

Your features soften but a scowl makes its way on your face once you remember the confrontation Hyerim surprised you with. Or more like splashed right into your face. "I'm not sure if we're careful enough. Hyerim just stopped me in the break room and claimed there's something going on between us."

Namjoon's brows shoot up in surprise. "Well, she's not wrong about that." he mutters, earning a scowl from you.

"She's not but if she noticed something, don't you think it's just a matter of time before all of this will blow up? We'll have to talk to Song as well before we go public, just in case it's not appropriate of you being my boss." you explain.

Namjoon knows you're right, he knows that but it's annoying that he doesn't get to kiss you, or has to constantly control his own reactions to you just because it could raise suspicion.

And all he can do is just let out an exhausted sigh as he rubs his forehead a few times before he looks at you and offers you a light smile. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

"I think we should tell Jin after Christmas, that's it if you're comfortable with it." you tell him, still looking at him skeptically.

"Of course, we can do that," he smiles, grabbing your tensed shoulders as he caresses them slightly. "You're going to your parents with him, right?"

You nod, "What about you?"

"I'm going to Donjakgu to visit my family," he answers, pouting a bit. "I'll be back after New Year."

"Ah, you won't come back before New Year's Eve?" You hear that for the first time. He usually is in Seoul around this time, celebrating with Jin and some of their other friends. You kind of expected him to be here, so you could celebrate it together.

"Unfortunately, no. I haven't seen my parents for a long time and they kinda insisted. I promised them I'll be there on New Year's Eve almost a year ago. I'm sorry, if I knew you and me--"

"Ah, no, don't apologize please. It's not that big of a deal," you assure him, "Taehyung asked me to look after his dog anyways, so I'll be busy taking care of him. The dog, I mean."

Namjoon laughs at that, opening his mouth just to be interrupted with a knock to his door. Both of you take a few steps back automatically, looking apologetically at each other before one of your co-workers comes in. Namjoon goes back to work and so do you, helping him to fix a sudden problem that occurred in the middle of the day.

Yeontan, or Tannie as Taehyung calls him, is an absolute ball of happiness and cuteness. Once Taehyung dropped him to your apartment with a lot of stuff like his own bowls, toys and a pack of sanitary pads like he promised, you had a feeling it's a farewell between a father and a son. You swear you saw Taehyung's eyes tearing up once he waved at you, or more like waved at Tannie in your hands.

Surprisingly, the little black puppy is calm and chews on one of his small plushies until he brings it to you, silently telling you to play with him. So you do, it's not like you've much to do anyway.

It's been a few hours since you came back after spending Christmas with your family. You were there until the thirtieth which is today and it's also the day Taehyung is going to Daegu. The days you spent there were fun and calm at the same time. If it weren't for Jin's lame jokes and catching laughs, it would be just calm. Mentioning him, he apparently had some plans on New Year's Eve with his friends. Jin wanted you to come too since he found out you're spending it at home but you can't since you're looking after Taehyung's puppy. But you wouldn't go even if you weren't. Some of Jin's friends can be wild and you'd just rather stay home.

He's much more outgoing and extroverted than you are.

Cooking yourself a dinner, you smile down at Yeontan who lays beside your feet while chewing on his toy that makes a squeaking noise. You've to remind yourself that he's here, the squeaking toy making it easier to remember, so you wouldn't step on him.

The atmosphere is pretty chill and Yeontan's company makes you feel less lonely. You're easily swapped away by his cuteness, small round eyes looking at you whenever you glance his direction as he continues chewing on his toy, liking how it squeals under his tiny but sharp teeth. You mentally remind yourself of your plan, making sure you finish and eat your dinner and then you're off to take a walk with Yeontan, wanting to avoid cleaning any possible and accidental pee.

It's not like you'd be mad or annoyed if that happened. Taehyung told you he's trained but still, he's a puppy who's in a new surrounding and everything is new to him. And you completely understand that, but still, at least you can try to avoid it.

You'll probably go out with him two more times before you go to bed, you think as a sudden sharp knock comes from the front door. It startles not just you but Yeontan as well because he's immediately on his feet, letting out a short but loud bark as he runs to the door. Well, at least he's protective. Turning off the stove, thinking the dinner must be finished already, you chuckle and make your way over there to find him standing and barking at the door as you try to gently shoo him away from it, so you can open it without hurting him.

Yeontan is stubborn and you sternly call his name, causing him to step back a little but not before he lets out another short and warning bark. Laughing, you unlock your door and peek as you open it.

"Namjoon?"

Met with a dimple smile and crinkled eyes, you're surprised to see him here out of all people. Hovering over you in his full glory, wearing that long black coat that makes him look giant, you can't help but jump into his arms.

"H-hey gorgeous," Namjoon laughs, wrapping his arms around you to reciprocate the hug and it's the heaviness of his arm that you notice he has a duffel bag with him.

"Come in," you usher him inside, not wanting to interrogate him of his sudden presence where any of your neighbors can hear you.

He listens, eyes beaming at your evident happiness that eases his nerves he has had on his way here, wondering if you'll even welcome him but from the looks of it, you look way more happy than he anticipated. It's now that the tiny bark in the distance causes him to notice another presence in your home, the small and dark eyes eyeing him suspiciously as he remembers you telling him you're looking after Taehyung's dog.

"What are you doing here? I thought--I thought you're celebrating with your parents!" you exclaim, voice loud and excited as Namjoon settles down the duffle bag, giving you a gentle smile as he crouches down to Yeontan but gets barked at immediately.

"Come on, you don't like me?" he asks Yeontan, pouting while your heart shivers at the cuteness. "I, ah, let's just say I wanted to celebrate with someone else instead."

Knowing what his words indicate, your cheeks get hot as you don't fight off the huge smile that only Namjoon can evoke. He tries to pett Yeontan, cooing at him cutely as Yeontan growls.

"Tannie," you pout at the dog, crouching next to Namjoon as the fluffy dog glances at you as he happily walks up to you while wiggling his huge tail. "That wasn't nice."

Looking at the man next to you, your breath gets caught in your throat as you already find him looking at you with soft and warm eyes. "Hi," you whisper and giggle, eyes scrunching when you see Namjoon's smile widening.

"Hi," he whispers, leaning his face close to you and your heart starts beating rapidly, sighing in content when his lips meet yours in a soft kiss. "I forgot to ask you... can I stay here? I kinda..." he starts, awkwardly pointing towards his bag.

He's already prepared.

That makes you giggle as you're the one who kisses him this time, met with that incredible scent of his. "You're more than welcome," you muse, "Do you want some dinner? I just finished it, it should still be warm. We can eat together."

You both stand, glancing at each other with that lovable look you can't seem to shake off but you don't really want to. Namjoon pats his stomach, hand catching yours as he sheepishly nods.

"Dinner sounds great."

"Ah, yes, right there!" you moan out, throwing your back against your mattress as you grind your hips and heat against Namjoon's mouth. You're so close to the edge, Namjoon's hair gripped tightly by your greedy hands as you moan his name over and over again.

After the dinner, you both went for a walk around your neighborhood, hand in hand which sent different kinds of sparks to your heart. For the first time you felt like a real couple, simply finding joy from each other's presence and simple touch of your hands, not scared of anything and anyone and most importantly, not hiding from the world.

Coming back to your home, one bottle of wine opened and a few heated kisses caused you to earn for each other more and more, the plea of Namjoon taking you to the bedroom resounding from your breathy mouth, followed by whimpers and moans.

You like this. Being together not just like this, but just to enjoy each other's company with no fear – you're free right now. Getting to know Namjoon just by simply spending more time with him means so much to you. He makes you laugh effortlessly, makes your heart shiver like no one has ever done before and you know your feelings for him have grown magnificently and it's no longer just a stupid crush.

"He doesn't like me." Namjoon had pouted when he tried to pet Tannie as you rested on the couch, watching a movie.

Tannie had growled whenever he was about to touch him, causing you to laugh and advise him not to touch him for now.

When you pull onto Namjoon's hair, silently telling him you don't want to cum like this, he's quick to rummage through his bag to pull out a condom. He's incredible, body massive and thick as you watch him roll it down his erected length, your mouth salivating and heat pulsating around nothing. The first touch of his cock as he nudges your lower lips is incredible, causing you to shiver and almost fall apart right away. Just as Namjoon is about to enter you, you hear him groan as he pulls away causing your mouth to frown at the sudden loss of him.

Peering your eyes open, you find Namjoon frowning with his head turned towards the little puppy standing between the door. "I can't do this with him here."

You look at Tannie, thanks to his light hair on his eyebrows, it looks as if he was frowning at the two of you, silently judging the need you have for each other. It only makes you laugh, pulling onto Namjoon's hand.

"Just ignore him,"

You can't exactly close the door because he always starts to whine (it happened when you went to the bathroom for a minute).

"I'm sure he'll go to bed soon. Just look at me," Cupping Namjoon's face, you lift up yourself slightly to peck his lips as he gives you a nod and smile.

He's back between your legs, holding his length as you hold your breath, anticipating him inside of you any second and once he does, you feel like you're in heaven. Your wetness makes it easier for him to slide in, but you've to take a mini break in the middle of it to get used to his size. Once he's fully inside, he hovers over you and gives you a chance to wrap your arms around him as he gently rocks his hips into you, leaving you breathless and moaning. You're both a mess, the sounds of your and Namjoon's moaning and gasps can be heard as he picks up the pace.

The pleasure is so good and you've to force yourself to keep your eyes open, so you can witness Namjoon's sexy frown as he's fully immersed in the pleasure you cause him. He feels great, his length hitting all the right spots inside you that makes you see stars.

However, after a few minutes Namjoon's hips come to a halt and you frown in disappointment, orgasm ripped away from you by the sudden change of pace while Namjoon frowns. Not the sexy frown though, more like an annoyed one.

"I can't do this with him looking at us,"

Groaning, you throw your head back as you lift yourself on your elbows and glance at Yeontan who's still standing in the same spot while staring at you.

"You're being dramatic,"

"He's a dog! And he's watching us having sex," Namjoon complains, pulling out of you as you sigh at the loss and sit up.

"He doesn't even know what we're doing!" you argue, laughing when Namjoon rolls his eyes at you.

"Yeah, but I know it and it's weird!" he argues back, causing you to sigh again as you get off the bed, ignoring Namjoon's raised brows. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm going to close the door, so he isn't looking at us. I'm not gonna be ripped away from orgasm because of a dog,"

Sorry Tannie, you think as you coo at him and he immediately starts wiggling his tail. Thank God he can't talk, Taehyung would have the time of his life in teasing you, he can't know about this for sure. It's pretty much a comical sight – you completely naked trying to usher out the puppy who thinks you're about to play with him.

However, Namjoon takes that time to appreciate the view of your ass and as you lean down towards Tannie to get him out of the room so you can close the door, the sight is something that makes his cock stir.

Tannie barks as soon as you close the door and you give Namjoon a look that almost makes him feel guilty, but it's all gone as you join him in the bed again. This time you push his chest as he opens his mouth surprisingly, soon lust filling his face as he lays down and you hover over him this time.

You sink down his length, trying to blur out Yeontan whining behind the door. "See? He's distracting me this time." you moan out, throwing your head back as you ride him.

"At least we don't see him," Namjoon says back and you don't argue, feeling yourself to be close to your orgasm.

In the end, locking out the poor puppy has been worth the orgasm that soon follows and Namjoon's grunt and cum filling up the condom tells you he would definitely agree. However, there's no time for cuddling as Namjoon expects you to do and you chuckle at the look of disappointment he gives you when you immediately pull away after catching a breath, hurrying to open the door for Yeontan who immediately joins you in the bedroom.

Namjoon sighs and throws his head back, staring at the ceiling as your giggles ring in his ears.

You've never been happier.

And more than clearly, it's all thanks to Namjoon. During those years of secretly crushing on him, thinking that you never stand a chance from multiple reasons with him, you've never thought you'd find yourself being in complete bliss. Everything you're experiencing with Namjoon is beautiful and you never want to change that. There are still challenging things that are ahead of you and there's no knowing of what will happen in the future with you two. But your relationship is blooming to something beautiful and full of deep feelings that you're very aware of.

You've never been fully in love. Now you know that because looking at Namjoon, being just in presence and him simply holding you or sending you a dimpled smile gives you the boost of happiness. You've never been this happy.

Namjoon looks just as happy and it looks as if things are going in the right direction, even though there's one huge obstacle you have to overcome. That is Seokjin, who surely won't take the news easy but there's a spark of hope that things might not end up badly. Maybe you're just clouded with love and happiness but you're no longer scared of his reaction. You and Namjoon like each other, more than that especially on your part because as much as you see Namjoon likes you more than you could've ever dreamed of, you can't be sure if he's all there yet.

Maybe it's still too soon to confess love to each other but whatever direction you're both going, it looks very good and there's no hesitance.

You also don't want to make it seem as if he has to be in love with you this complete instant. You're trying not to overthink it and just enjoy the time being spent together, which is very frequent and enjoyable these days.

After taking care of Tannie whom Taehyung picked up the day he promised, Namjoon proposed to you to join him at his home this time, not being able to quite leave you just yet (his exact words).

"What are you thinking about?" Namjoon asks, joining you in the kitchen as his arms wrap around your frame causing you to giggle while you prepare the breakfast for both of you.

The New Year's Eve was spent beautifully. Just the two of you, staying awake until two in the morning while your bodies were connected, unspoken feelings shown by the physical touch.

Namjoon puts his chin at the top of your head, peeking at the pancakes you make for both of you as he waits for your answer, hands holding you tightly which makes your heart jump and fill up with sparkles.

Flipping the pancake, you turn around to him and let your eyes linger on his slightly puffy face, caused by the lack of sleep you both seemed to get – too excited to wake up and spend the morning together. Although, he dismissed his glasses and put on eye contacts, he looks handsome as ever. His white shirt he wore to bed, or tried because he had ended up sleeping naked beside your very same form, is now crinkled and there are long pajama pants hiding his thick and muscly legs.

Looking back at his face, you're met with a cute and dimpled smile which automatically makes you smile too as you caress his buff chest through the fabric. "Just how much I like you."

The dimpled smile widens immediately and the peck that follows on your forehead makes your heart melt, however the next words he says doubles it. "I really, really like you too."

And as you look him in the eyes, you kind of see it. How both of you feel way harder and stronger about each other, it almost feels as if you communicate with your eyes and not your mouths. But as long as you understand each other, that's all that matters. Unfortunately for you, the loving and sweet moment is interrupted with the beeping sound that soon follows with the front door opening causing your heart to drop.

And as you look at Namjoon in panic, not knowing who just entered his home, the paled and shocked expression lets you know that he probably knows.

"Fuck,"

Among all the times Namjoon barely curses, this time it ripples from his throat naturally and the fact he is acting like this scares you even more, not making you relax in any way.

You feel the inner fear but you're left mostly confused about the sudden intruder and none of it makes sense until...

"Joon?"

And just like that, even the littlest amount of champagne that most likely remains in your stomach from last night wants to make its way up and the sudden need to throw up is too strong. Quickly, turning off the stove with the last pancake on it, you watch Namjoon give you a reassuring look before he quickly walks out of the kitchen but you know it's only going to hold him back for a minute or two.

You can't move, simply feel your heart beating so hard that it hurts and with the vomit scratching the back of your throat, your hands start to shake a little at the voice of your brother.

On the other side, Namjoon is cursing himself for being so fucking stupid. So stupid that he forgot he asked Jin to take care of his plants while he's visiting his family. The family he was supposed to visit until the next two days. How could've he been so stupid and engrossed with you that he forgot this little (and very important) detail. He wants to smack his head against the nearest subject and as soon as he sees Seokjin in his corridor, confusingly meeting his gaze – he thinks suddenly vanishing seems like a better idea.

"Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you're away," Seokjin says confusingly, already taking off his jacket. He wants to say something, to tell him to put it back on and leave because he can't be here but it'd bring only more questions and Seokjin isn't stupid.

It's just a matter of time before he finds out everything. And all Namjoon wants is to go back to you, not wanting you to be alone in the kitchen when you're most likely worrying and having a proper panic moment.

"That's not nice, man. I had to wake up earlier to go here and take care of your stupid plants." Seokjin laughs, not quite catching the rare silence of his best friend and not noticing the paleness on his face that Namjoon can't hide.

"Y-yeah, plans changed, man." Namjoon finds his voice, silently cursing how odd he sounds (but it makes sense he does because this is about to get really dirty). He sounds so odd that it makes his best friend look up at him and give him a weird look.

There's a very low chance of Namjoon saying something that would make Seokjin leave because he's already taking off his boots, standing right next to your boots and Namjoon swears he stops breathing, silently praying he won't notice them. And he doesn't – maybe it's because Seokjin is hungover and the dark circles under his eyes are proof of his own lack of sleep.

"Jin--I actually just woke up and I'm pretty tired--"

Namjoon doesn't even know what kind of stupid excuse he's about to make but one thing is sure, nothing stops Jin. He brushes effortlessly past Namjoon and he tries to stop him, catching him arms that would evoke suspicion for sure but he doesn't care. All he can think about is you and how you're in the one room Jin is making his way to.

Namjoon's blubbering nonsense is getting ignored by Jin, "Wow, I smell something good! Do you mind if I join you? I haven't eaten anything and besides, since when do you cook? Things change I guess, look at--"

But it's too late.

Seokjin stops in the middle of his sentence, almond eyes widening at the sight of you standing and gripping the edge of the kitchen counter behind you, giving your brother a nervous look.

"Wha--Y/N?" he chokes out, scanning your face as if he couldn't believe he's seeing you here out of all places.

One of the reasons he cut his trip short was to join you, feeling too bad that you spent your New Year's Eve alone. It all takes a minute for him to process and then he notices it. You are wearing a large shirt, definitely not one of your own because funnily enough, he recognizes it and then the sight of your skin, legs not covered makes his stomach churn and he's the one that feels like throwing up right now.

"What are you doing here?" he breathes out, but you see it on his face.

You feel embarrassed by Jin's stare and the way he looks at you. You feel vulnerable, in desperate need to cover yourself but there's nothing you can do at the moment.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asks more loudly, making you flinch which makes Namjoon spring into action as he calls Jin's name but it only increases the fury the eldest is feeling.

"Jin--"

"No, no, no," he shakes his head, a bitter chuckle making its way out as you fumble with your fingers, not able to look at him. "Tell me this is some kind of sick joke."

"Jin, I'm--"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he suddenly yells, making you flinch as you stare in pure shock, lips quivering.

"Stop yelling at her, you're scaring her." Namjoon jumps to the rescue, frowning at his friend as Seokjin directs his gaze at his best friend (or at least he thought that's who he is).

He's itching to be closer to you, to hold you because you look so lonely and scared there, it breaks his heart. So he reacts, determined and ready to walk over to you but is stopped with Jin who grabs him by his shirt and corners him, making Namjoon's back hit the wall. Gasping, you hurry towards them.

"This is what you call being my best friend?!" Jin yells, tightening his hold as he smacks him against the wall again causing Namjoon to grunt. "I told you she's off limits! I thought you knew that, you betrayed me you asshole!"

You've never heard Jin being so angry (not the type angry of losing a game), you've never heard him curse at Namjoon calling him an asshole. It makes your eyes water as you try to grip Jin's hoodie to pull him off Namjoon but your grasp does nothing.

"Jin, let me explain..." Namjoon tries, guilt visible on his face.

"You were fucking my sister all this time!" he yells, face getting red. "How long is this going on?!"

"Jin, stop," you try but he only shoots you a glare, almost a look of disgust that makes you want to cry. He has never looked at you like that before. He has never treated you like this.

"Be quiet,"

You frown, a sudden anger bubbling inside of you but before you can react, Namjoon is already opening his mouth.

"When I kissed her on that Christmas party--Jin, you don't understand I li--"

But it's too late.

Jin is punching Namjoon, causing his whole head to turn to the side as you cry out, not sure whose names should make it out of your mouth first. You're rushing to Namjoon who grunts, eyes scrunched in pain as he holds the side of his face.

"Are you insane?!" you yell at Jin, finding him glaring at the two of you as he scoffs.

"I told you not to mess with her!"

"We like each other!" you yell right away, dismissing his words that are aimed at Namjoon. "We wanted to tell you but look at how you're reacting! This is your best friend, Jin! You know he's a good person, stop being so overprotective over me all the time! Stop acting as if you've to chase away every man that breathes my way. I'm so sick of you doing that all the time, using the brother card as if you were my real brother!"

As soon as the last sentence resounds from you, your breath hitches and causes your heart to drop. And the pained look Seokjin's features turn into is heartbreaking to see. No matter how angry, frustrated and hurt you are – you admit that you've crossed the line because no matter how overprotective Jin is about you, he didn't deserve to be told this.

"Really?" Jin scoffs, a hurt look changing into a bitter one as he glances at Namjoon who leans against the wall, cringing at the pain his whole cheek and jaw is experiencing. "Did you know he's in contact with his ex this whole time?"

You close your mouth, a look of surprise clouding your face as you glance at Namjoon but he only looks away in guilt.

"Tell her, Namjoon. Tell her how you've been talking to Nara for weeks now."

No, no.... This can't be true.

But it is.

A few weeks ago, Seokjin caught Namjoon staring into the phone while texting someone. It made him question who that someone is and later on, Namjoon admitted it's his ex-girlfriend.

"That's great, man! Maybe you'll be able to work it out!" Seokjin called enthusiastically, knowing Namjoon really loved her and even though their heart-break was mutual, it still wasn't an easy decision.

"No, I don't think so... she just texted me how I am doing and ever since then, we just talk. It's nothing serious."

"Oh, don't be so modest, Joon. It's good that you two talk again, it might not be bad to try and rekindle your relationship."

And all Namjoon wanted to say is that no, it's not like that because he already has an amazing woman in his life. But he can't say that because it's you. His little sister and there are things the two of you haven't talked about yet. He can't say anything to him – not right now.

"Yeah," Is all he says with a fake smile plastered on his face.

"W-what?" you breathe out shockingly.

You knew they used to talk, that's what Namjoon told you that time you slept at his place because you got drunk. He lent you her dress, told you more about their relationship. But you got closer and he has never mentioned her, not even when things got more serious between you two. And even though you were aware of their not so bad break-up and the good relationship between him and his ex-girlfriend, you weren't aware he's been talking to her this whole time.

"Is it true?"

Your question is aimed at Namjoon, Seokjin respectfully staying quiet because he knows it is true. But Namjoon's guilty look and slow nod are the only reaction you care about and it shatters your heart, letting tears roll down your cheeks.

"I'm so stupid," you whisper, hands shakily grabbing your cheeks before you rush out of the room.

"Y/N," you hear Namjoon call your name desperately, "Let me explain!"

"Let her be," Seokjin demands, and you guess he holds Namjoon while you hurry to the bedroom and put some clothes on.

By the time you're walking out of the bedroom, Namjoon is trying to get to you, fighting off Seokjin's hold as he yells your name.

"It's not like that!"

"You've been talking to her all the time and you didn't have the guts to mention that to me?!" you cry and yell at him, his heart breaking at the sight of you because he's the one that has caused it.

It all makes sense now. Seokjin isn't only angry that Namjoon went against everything he asked of him, that he fucked his little sister he is so overprotective of. He is angry because Namjoon has been talking to another woman, to his ex-girlfriend which you're not sure if makes things worse, while he's been fooling around with you.

Making you think he likes you. Making you think that you mean something to him but all this time... you're not even sure what you mean to him.

But even Namjoon trying to run towards you once he frees himself from Seokjin, it's too late because you're shutting the door in his face rushing out of his building with tears streaming down your cheeks.

"Fucking great job, friend,"

Namjoon knows that, even without Seokjin bitterly remarking before his leave. The pancakes waiting for him in the kitchen are the only physical reminder that you're not here and all of this has happened in the span of ten minutes.

Yet, the guilt is the biggest and most painful reminder of them all.

#networkbangtan #ficswithluv #bts smut #bts au #bts angst #bts fluff #namjoon x reader #namjoon fic #namjoon smut #personasintro

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kingofbodyrolls · 10 months ago

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BTS fic recs: January 2024 are here! 🥳 Hiiii!! Welcome back to another lovely year filled with smutty reading 😇

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty or dark as hell, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!

Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’ or last years recs 🙂

[index] → 💜 | feb (jhs) | mar (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄.

⭐Bookworms @hoseoksluna [4.4K] // knj x f.reader // boyfriend!namjoon // 🥰🥵

📝 Namjoon thinks of you when he reads a smut scene in his book.

🗨️ the love that they have for each other– so beautiful too! The smut? Perfect! The aftercare too— they did each other’s hair???? 🥹 I mean, just the perfect amount of smut, fluff and overall cuteness ❤️💯

⭐Sunday @here2bbtstrash [5K] // ksj x f.reader // established relationship, pwp // 🥵🥵🥵

📝 you got your boyfriend exactly what he wanted for his birthday.

🗨️ this one is just out of this world; it’s so filthy, smutty. WOW. There’s a belt, and I won’t say more than that!

⭐Raspberry Truffles @gukyi [5K] // ksj x f.reader // boyfriend!namjoon // 🥰🥰🥰

📝 how to fake date your best friend: step one: don’t fall in love with them. failed step one.

🗨️ perfectly fluffy, great chemistry and writing! Gosh, I really love this one 💜💯

⭐Eargasm + Eargasm II @lavishedinjimin [9.5K + 14K] // myg x f.reader // phonesex!au, sexhotline!au // 🥵

📝 the idea of having your first ever orgasm by talking to a hot, random stranger through your phone scares the living hell out of you, but maybe it won’t be as bad as you think.

🗨️ holy fuck, FUCK. this is insane 🥵🥵🥵

⭐Sinful Lust [completed series] @oddinary4bts [71.9K] // myg x f.reader x jjk // slice of life!au, bisexual boyfriend!yoongi // 🥵🌩️🌩️🌩️

📝 in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...

🗨️ this one is special to me (as is everything Ella writes honestly). This one is very controversial because of the cheating aspect in it, but it feels so real and it’s very well handled! I love it! It’s very angsty too, made me cry multiple times– I was just so invested in it! I’m really trying not to spoil too much (I already have lol). Just, read it okay??? ✨

⭐The window [part of 3tan] @kithtaehyung [15.3K] // myg x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 you get to spend the holidays in a lavish private lodge with your brother and all his friends. but you’re just really fucking sad tonight… and maybe a bit mad, too.

🗨️ I have read this a few time now (including the rest of the series), and it’s still as good as the first time I read it, if not even better! If you still haven’t read 3tan– what are you doing? CLICK THE LINK!

⭐Less of Them [ongoing series] @casuallyimagining [9.9K] // myg x f.reader // established relationship, arranged marriage!au, star-crossed lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰🪄

📝 as the daughter of one of the oldest families in the kingdom, when the king decides that it's you he wishes to marry, you're forced to make a decision and fulfill your duty, leaving behind everything you've ever known--and the only man you've ever loved.

🗨️ PLEASE, PLEASE— FUCKING PLEASE. If you have not read this one yet. Please do it now 😭🥺 It made me cry in the best way possible! The world building, the characters, their love for each other shines to fucking bright and then– [spoiler] READ IT *yelling with hands frantically moving above my head*

⭐In the Car @floralseokjin [14.7K] // jhs x f.reader // mechanic!hoseok, street racer!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 all you had was a dead car battery, you weren’t looking for romance, regardless if the charming mechanic had other ideas. You’ve heard stories that could put you off… Can he change your misconceptions, or will they prove correct after all…?

🗨️ oh my- really really good 💖 something about mechanic AND street racer Hoseok has me question my sanity 🥵

⭐Two in one @here2bbtstrash [12K] // jhs x f.reader x pjm // best friends!au, threesome // 🥵🥵🥵

📝 you finally have a much-needed smoke session with your best friends, just like old times. you’re also pretty sure they’re gay… right?

🗨️ the chemistry between them, how they have been friends for so long, oc’s assumptions lol, and their humor too! Priceless 👏💖 Gosh! It was pure filth, in the best way possible, so sinful and dirty— and, and—, PLEASE GO READ IT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY 😭💖

⭐Floored @lavienjin [5.2K] // jhs x f.reader x pjm x jjk // idol!au, established relationship with Hobi, foursome // 🥵🥵🥵

📝 in the midst of your reunion with your boyfriend after not seeing each other for some time, you’re interrupted by two sets of eyes. not wanting to waste the opportunity, hoseok proposes a foursome and hey, “the more, the merrier”, right?

🗨️ what did I even read? 🥵 (it was good!)

⭐Good Morning @ppersonna [2.1K] // jhs x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰

📝 hoseok’s methods of waking you up are … unconventional, but effective.

🗨️ omg I loved it 💖💯

⭐To the Beat of my Heart @jeonggukingdom [7.2K] // jhs x f.reader // dancer!au, sort of e2l // 🥵

📝 when you walk into the studio that Sunday afternoon, all you expect is a lonely and chill practice session but, a few hours later, your programs are shattered in thousand pieces by the unexpected presence of Jung Hoseok. And nothing could have prepared you for what he had in store for you.

🗨️ wow, this was incredibly good! Well written and it was just so freaking hot, I loved it! 💯✨

⭐Holiday Inn @bangtanintotheroom [36.6K] // jhs x f.reader // non-idol!au, rap group!au, s2e2l // 🥵😂

📝 if it’s not the loud music, it’s the constant rapping. If it’s not the constant rapping, it’s the hysterical laughter. And if it’s not the hysterical laughter, it’s the moaning and screaming women. How the hell hasn’t your neighbor been kicked out yet? Oh right; he’s a beloved rapper.

🗨️ I’m just— WOW 🤯💯 This must be one of the best Hoseok fics I’ve ever read. Damn it was fucking amazing 👏 I loved the assertiveness of reader, and how that tension just build so fucking perfectly! Everything was so freaking good. A masterpiece!! 💜✨

⭐The Devil in His Details @johobi [9.2K] // pjm x f.reader // college!au // 🥵

📝 evil comes in many forms. In this instance, it’s a 5′8″ pretty-boy with an even prettier dick. And you’re the form you want him to come in.

🗨️ I am MIND BLOWN 🤯🥵 This is one of the dirtiest, filthiest fics I’ve EVER read. Like it’s in the top five, if not even top three! 🤤 It was fucking perfection, the writing, fucking amazing, the dynamic/tension between Jimin and OC—Fuck. GOLD. Abso-fucking-lutely one of the very best fanfics I’ve read 💯✨

⭐Go Go @inkjam-moon [9.2K] // pjm x f.reader // best friend!au // 🥵🥰

📝 Jimin’s been your best friend since you were little; but coming from a rich family he’s paid for everything, and he doesn’t realize that it hurts you when you can’t pay him back for all the presents and vacations. When he becomes CEO of his own successful company, it gets worse because he promised to always take care of you, but when secrets come out on the night of your graduation from university, will Jimin be able to keep his promise?

🗨️ This was so fucking sweet 🥹 💜 their friendship is so precious, and the way that they ended up waiting so many fucking years before telling each other about their feelings for each other 🥹 almost pulled them apart 😭 really beautiful ✨💯

⭐Devil on my Heels @ditttiii [2K] // pjm x f.reader // e2l // 🥰😂

📝 tired of having your ego crushed day after day, late-night practices to hone your skills become your new norm. however, when help comes in the form of one ridiculously gorgeous dancer and things get risqué, do you accept it? more importantly, do you accept him?

🗨️ a short one shot, but it’s really really good 🥹 I loved the tension between oc and Jimin, and the writing is fantastic ✨

⭐25 and Virgin @back2bluesidex [1.8K] // pjm x f.reader // pwp // 🥵

📝 you are 25 and virgin but maybe your crush slash senior Park Jimin can change that tonight.

🗨️ short and sweet hot 🥵

⭐Oui @pixieknj [2.1K] // pjm x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 almost getting caught with your boyfriend…

🗨️ this was so good! Short and sweet ✨💯

⭐Please Me @jiminsinterlude [1.6K] // pjm x f.reader // next door neighbor!au // 🥵

📝 after your new neighbor invited you over for a drink to welcome you in, you end up on his couch with him welcoming the inside of you too.

🗨️ short and smutty! ✨

⭐The Tailor of Chaos I + The Tailor of Chaos II @oddinary4bts [10K + 9.1K]*** // pjm x f.reader // e2l, fairy and royal!au // 🪄🌩️🌩️🥰

📝 in a kingdom ruled by dark fairies, an assassin is sent to eliminate the youngest prince of the royal family. Soon, she realizes the assassination is part of a bigger plot, a scheme of grander things that can change the fate of the world. Will she still go through with the assassination, or will she fight against the odds and save the prince from his destiny?

🗨️ well well, I’m hooked now! It’s actually my first time reading a fantasy fic, so I just had to adjust to it in the beginning– but, it didn’t take long for me to get sucked into the word honestly, and about midway I was completely hooked! 👏💜 There’s so much mystery to uncover and I want to know everything 😂 Aish, it’s so good 💯✨ The series is discontinued, but it’s really incredible and worth a read!!!!

***Ella deleted the fic because she's turning it into a book! So that's why the links doesn't work.

⭐Lola @letjungcoook7 [3.9K] // kth x f.reader // lawyer!taehyung, burlesque!au, cheating!au // 🥵

📝 you are a dancer in a burlesque club. and he is a millionaire lawyer on the eve of his scheduled wedding.

🗨️ this was just so enticing– how Lola grabbed Taehyung’s attention and how that made him want her so bad, that he ended up cheating 😯

⭐Lost in You @jjkeverlast [7K] // kth x f.reader // fuckboy!taehyung, college!au, frat party // 🥵🌩️🥰😂

📝 the infamous kim taehyung, campus fuckboy and heartthrob is much more than you thought after an unexpected night.

🗨️ this was so good! Loved the tension between reader and Tae, how he reassured her when she was feeling down and that they both let their walls down for each other 🥹 Beautiful! Also, I loved their ‘friendship’ 😍

⭐Long Black @jamaisjoons [6.5K] // kth x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰

📝 you knew exactly what you were getting into when you decided to tease taehyung at his best friend’s wedding. what you didn’t expect was what came after.

🗨️ filthy, this was so filthy. The beginning was just thick with tension and lust, and, and— omg. The smut was so incredible and then the ending! Damn. I loved it enough though it turned soft at the end 🥹💜💯

⭐Brother’s best friend @lavishedinjimin [5.3K] // jjk x f.reader // brothers best friend!au // 🥵

📝 in which Y/n owns a smut blog dedicated to her crush and brother’s best friend, jungkook. it was all fun and games until he finds out about it and acts it out with you.

🗨️ at first I was like ‘this is very cute’ and then it turned so dirty so fucking fast I almost got whiplash 😂✨

⭐Possessed @jungkookiebus [1.4K] // jjk x f.reader // boyfriend!jungkook // 🥵

📝 intentionally left blank!

🗨️ really good 🥵 the ending had me laughing 😂

⭐When the End Comes (epilogue) @oddinary4bts [12.1K] // jjk x f.reader // photographer!jungkook, lawyer!reader, married!au // 🥰🥵

📝 when the weather seems to work against you and Jungkook for your wedding day, you decide to change plans last minute. In any other situation, it would have made you freak out - but how can you freak out, when you're getting married to the love of your life?

🗨️ I adore this couple so much, and I’m so happy that all the heartbreak they went through came to this in the end 🥹 I LOVED it ✨💫

⭐Body to Body @letjungcoook7 [3.4K] // jjk x f.reader // established relationship, idol!jungkook // 🥵

📝 you've had enough of your boyfriend's teasing. so, you decide to punish him.

🗨️ Okay, this is just filthy! But damn, I loved it; their dynamic, the jealousy too and then the smuuuuuttt 🥵🥵🥵

I feel like I didn’t get to read that much this month 🤔 But then again, I had a week off where I didn’t read because of my hiatus. But I’m trying to get through my massive to-read list from all the members, and I still find new stuff to add (it’s like a never ending cycle, but I love it!). If you want more, you’re more than welcome to follow me! I do monthly rec lists and sometimes I post my own writing too (only bangtan).

Love you 💜

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ggukkiereads · 4 years ago

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Fic Recs | Fake Dating AUs

This is based on asks for fake dating fics. Most of these favorites are reblogged with reviews. Others are still ongoing series I am reading whenever there is an update.

Members are organized per number of fake dating participation 😂

Jungkook

Mutual Help @personasintro - [39/?] | literally the only reason I visit Wattpad. | semi fake dating AU, Bestfriend AU, FWB AU, Slow Burn | F, S, A

Aphrodite in War @jungblue - [2/?] | Exes AU, Fake Dating, Fratboy/Greek Life, Roommate AU, Enemies to Lovers | F, S, A (one of my favorite authors too! Like read all her fics)

Bitchin @kinktae - series [10/10 + 10 Years After] | fake dating, college au, jock!jk, smart!reader, E2L #holygrailfic (⭐)

Blush @jhsbrat - JJK | one shot | friends to lovers, feat Jin (I remember looking everywhere for this because I thought the author deactivated 😭 so I was glad it got reposted)

The Proposal @hansolmates - JJK one shot | editor!jungkook x assistant, like the movie The Proposal

My Euphoria @moyochu - JJK | one shot | CEO!JK, Florist!OC, bought chocolate cosmos from her shop for his Mom and a plan ensues when OC needed a fake boyfriend (I reco’d this during one network’s JK’s week last year because I just adore how fluffy this fic is I binged on their fluffy catalog one time and I recommend their other works!)

Proposals @pjxmin - JJK | one shot | pretend proposals to get free food from restaurants 🤭

Dating Plan @/jjkthclub - JJK | one shot | enemies to lovers, childhood friends, actually it’s more of a “Dating Trial” just so the moms will leave them alone (🥰)

Piss Off Your Parents @littlemisskookie - JJK | one shot | Rich Kids who hate the pressure from their parents but JK is a rebel and OC roomed with him (and fake dated him) to piss off the parents (⭐)

Love to Hate You @latetaektalk - JJK | series [4/?] | fratboy! AU, fake dating! AU, college! AU, enemies to lovers! AU, rich kid! AU, angst, fluff

Anpanman @honeymoonjin - JJK | one shot | fake date to get therapy (this is also hilarious?!?! like ridiculous premise but the author made it work. Anyway the link leads to my reblog and you can read my comments if you need convincing 🤭)

Moonlight Melody + Part 2 @/gukyi - JJK | two shot | 50k | fake dating, orchestra AU (part of this fic rec list)

Coffee Shop Contract @/gukyi - JJK | one shot | 18k | fake dating, college AU

Better Late Than Never @rosaetae - JJK drabble, exes AU, fake dating (I love this scenario, there’s one funny moment here with Jungkook saying his feelings through a door)

End Game @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong - JJK | one shot | 12.1k | soccer player x cheerleader, fake dating AU, ex-Namjoon

One Thing Right by hobios (now on AO3) - JJK | series [8/8] | more on fake marriage than fake dating but I’m throwing this in because this is my #holygrailfic

Play Pretend @seokoloqy - JJK | one shot | 8.6k | Athlete AU, Jock AU, Soccer Player!JK, Fake Dating AU, Friends to Lovers AU | S, A

The B.S.T. Mission @singguks - JJK | 11.2k | Secret Agents AU, Fake Dating AU | A, F, S ~ ongoing [3/?]

ILYSB @rkiverse - JJK | one shot | 11.1k | idol au, broken-hearted jungkook, love clinic staff reader, fake dating but not really (more of part of therapy) | F, A

It’s All Fun and Games @/cupofteaguk - JJK | one shot | slow burn, set up on blind date so they pretended to be dating to shut others up 🥰

Collar Full @minloop - JJK | fluff, smut, friends to lovers, college au, ‘fake dating’ au for Jungkook's love project

True Care @joonsgalaxy - JJK | series [7.5/?] | bodyguard!jungkook fake dating

Baby I’m a Fool @suhdays - JJK | one shot | enemies to lovers, coworker

Blank Check @pantaemonium and @sugaxjpg - JJK | series [5/?] | fake dating AU, college AU, fratboy AU, fuckboy AU, jock!jk (been following this fic for years 🥰)

Beautiful Confession @btsracket - JJK | one shot | Friends to Lovers, OC just lost her job + boyfriend and only childhood friend to turn to

It Takes Two @junghelioseok - JJK | one shot | Christmas AU, fake dating, roommate au

From Home @gyukult - JJK | series [12/12] | rich kid!jk (but he was cut off and has to learn how to earn on his own), baker!reader, enemies to lovers, fake dating

I Wished I missed My Ex @angelguk - JJK | one shot | College AU, Fake Dating

The Wedding Date @jjungkookislife - JJK | one shot | fake date for wedding

💜 Jungkook is Over Party (#JungkookisOverParty) @extravaguk - series [4/?] | 11k+ | Fake Dating, College AU, Himbo!JK, Smart!Reader | F (so far)

→ Fics with parts/chapters of fake dating:

Cream and Sugar @gukslut - series [6/6] | Smut, Humor, Escort AU, Barista AU, Enemies to Lovers, Asshole!Jungkook (this is also a gem! must read) 🥕

Midas @/gukyi - one shot | enemies to lovers, magical realism, CEO AU, OC has invisibility and JK turns stuff into gold . (okay just a segment where they pretended in front of the parents

Fuckboy Jungkook Who Quotes Gatsby Part 5 Part 6 @btsinspirationtakesme - drabble series [6/6] | Fuckboy AU, Nerd!Reader, Enemies to Lovers, using literary quotes to win OC (Shakespeare, FS Fitzgerald, Neruda, etc) (so this is actually surprisingly cute?!?! I don’t even remember how I discovered this fic. Anyway there is one chapter where they fake date)

Taehyung

Kismesis @jjkthclub - KTH | it’s pretend to be a couple during a wedding expo (for free food! like I would do the same lol)

The Holi-date @kpopfanfictrash - KTH | This neighbor!Taehyung is just...memorable you know? It’s a great romcom piece 🥰

Love at First Oink @glodenclosetau - KTH | the only SMAU I’m putting here because this is a MUST READ. It has written parts and this is just the fluffiest cutest SMAU (also the first I’ve read in full because I have the tendency to read and miss on smau episodes before)

Can’t Fake a Feeling @bubmyg - KTH, F2L, Fake Dating, College AU, Fuckboy

Schemes and Tricks to Win Her Heart @crystaljins - KTH feat KSJ | series [5/5] | Fake Dating Chaebol/Rich Seokjin, Taehyung is Jin’s Little Brother, and OC is Tae’s bestfriend (⭐)

X and O @army-author KTH | fake dating, single parent, teacher AU

False Pretense @v-hope - KTH | one shot | Fake Dating AU | F, slight A

La La Land by hoseokiehope (used to be on tumblr) - KTH | one shot | throwing this in because this is also a classic

Crush Culture @chaangbin - KTH | fluff, angst, fake dating au, childhood friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, smut

The Platinum Rule @taecalicook - KTH | two shot | you can read the JJK since this is a spin-off (but nor required), fuckboy!taehyung, fratboy

Yoongi

Playing with Fire @houseofdemi-blog - MYG | series [8/8] | Fake Dating AU, Rich Girl AU, Producer Yoongi, Bad Boy AU (this is a classic. a really great fic)

First and Last Love @floralseokjin - MYG | Christmas AU, Exes who needed to pretend they’re still together because they haven’t told the family yet about the break up (this is 👌)

When The Stars Align @itskimtaehyung - MYG | one shot | College AU, Roommates, cuffing season

The Heart Holiday @vanaera - MYG | series [3/5] | 92.3k | Office AU, Enemies to Lovers, Fake Dating AU

Switching My Positions @cupofteaguk - MYG | solo artist!yoongi, manager!y/n, fake dating au, friends to lovers au

Maybe So @joonary - MYG | two shot? [1/?] | fake date someone you already have feelings for (you have to read this - just so fluffy)

Everglow @dreamyjoons - MYG | series [4/4] vague fake dating au, friends to lovers

Veil feat PJM @ddaenghoney - series [20/20] | slow burn, unrequited love, love triangle, fwb (pjm), producer!yoongi

Ink Nemesis @scriptaed - series [7/7] | fake dating, paparazzi!oc, idol

Seokjin

Better With You @ve1vetyoongi - KSH | series [2/3] | help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune

Courtship Chronicles @/gukyi - KSJ | one shot | friends to lovers, fake dating to show how fun dating could be

Raspberry Truffles @gukyi - KSJ | one shot | F2L, fake dating

The Money Project @namjoonchronicles - KSJ | series [2/?] | fake marriage actually, they don’t like each other but Seokjin’s parents like her and he needs her to get on parents’ good graces

Too Good To Be True @hueseok - KSJ | series [7/?] | college au, idiots to lovers, 10 things I Hate About You

Taming of Bridezilla @cinnaminsvga - KSJ | one shot | fake date to least favorite cousin’s wedding

Jimin

Fake It Till It Works @glassbangtan - PJM | one shot | panicked and told Hoseok he has a GF and he’s looking for one who could pretend, Best Friend AU

Remedy for Mondays @dovechim - PJM | series [4/4] | Co-worker AU, Fake Pregnancy AU (lol), Fake Dating AU, fake baby daddy 😅 🥕

Happily Glazed @/bubmyg - PJM | one shot | fake date to cousin’s wedding, slice of life

Call Me Baby @hueseok - PJM | one shot | friends to lovers, roommate au, college au

Namjoon

My Blood, Your Tears @nottojay - KNJ | series [5/?] | fake dated Namjoon who is the rival of her brother’s gang, Mafia AU (it’s incomplete though but good for bookmarking)

Until You Make It @versigny - KNJ | one shot | Christmas setting, co-workers

My Only Wish @ppersonna - KNJ | one shot | Christmas AU, E2L, idiots to lovers

Hoseok

Fakeation @theunknowncryptid - JHS | SMAU | Inspired by the movie Just Go With It

Fake Love @aquaminwrites - JHS | Fake dating AU, enemies to lovers, fluff, smut, minor angst (you have to read all of the writer’s fics. her fics are just amazing. promoting her Taehyung fic Paper Cranes which is a favorite of mine too)

*there is one Hoseok fic I really like but it was last updated in 2019 😥 so I didn’t include anymore but that’s such a great fic

There are new fake dating fics I’ve seen recently but I haven’t read them yet. Once I get to read them, I’ll update this with ones I’d like to recommend

🌷 posted: 2021 May 07 | updated: 2021 June 12 (indicated with a 💜)

🌷 other lists

🌷 I love to read so feel free to recommend a fic =)

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts fake dating au #ggukkiereadingcollection #jungkook x reader #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #seokjin x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #bts fic recs #jungkook fic recs #taehyung fic recs #yoongi fic recs #seokjin fic recs

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melancholy-of-nadia · 4 months ago

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love u lately (m) #12 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately chapter title: #12 - shift pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; summary: an outro song is defined as a song placed at the end of an album that signals to the listener that this is the wrap up or conclusion of the story told in the album . and while this might be the outro to this part of your life story, you think this is is also kinda like a prelude to a new beginning. a graduation. a move. a shift in relationships. we don't know what the next album of our life entails but having three boyfriends makes the unknown, a little easier. warnings: LIGHT SMUT, Namjoon sax mention, small FOURSOME scene again, EIFFEL TOWER, random fluff scattered all around, mention of a pool party, kissing, blowjob, multiple orgasms, reader's birthday is 7/9 army day, video call, creampies, multiple positions, dirty talk, pet names, size kink returns, more confessions as always but they're good! playful banter from yoonminjoon note: @daegudrama has been editing this for over a year and if you have not followed her, please do so NOW. She has a SPICY Festa 2023 one shot series that is amazing and is currently working on a BTS x Pokemon fic. Go show some love! total word count: 7.5k (not including the authors notes at the end) drop date: July 12th, 2024, 1PM PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #11 | Series Masterlist

Overall, your relationship with Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin progresses well after that night. Is there really a difference between the time before and after being in a polycule for you?

Well, not really. You would say the biggest difference is that it feels like old times when it was just you and them versus the world, and not like the months leading up to that Gamma party last October. The days when you would stick together, and there wasn’t casual dating or hookups causing a rift in your friendship. You guys are more intimate with one another now though, and it's been serendipitous.

After the initial foursome, you all agreed to keep things lowkey, but your best friends (now lovers) don’t exactly know the definition of “lowkey.” From conspicuously holding your hand as they walk you to and from class (taking turns, by the way), it hasn’t gone unnoticed by others on campus.

Soon after, rumors began circulating, especially coming from a certain salty Gamma boy who got left behind and some snarky Psi Gamma girls who were friends with Jimin’s ex. You’ve heard things in passing like “Y/N, the Beta Tau Sigma slut being passed around the house” or confession account tweets anonymously saying “Y/N is stealing all the finest men on campus for herself. Selfish bitch.”

But these are the same rumors you have been hearing since the beginning, back when you first moved into the BTS house and started hanging out with the guys. But with more concrete evidence now, it’s been more rampant than ever before. However, if you try to defend yourself, you know it will only satisfy those people more, confirming their torment works and continuing to do it until you’re on the brink of insanity.

You don’t blame your boyfriends for their affectionate behavior or for not keeping things more under wraps.

They just want to show you as much love and care as they can to make up for all the lost time they couldn’t do that.

So when you accidentally snap at them for an unrelated thing after dealing with some harassment in your Instagram DMs, your boyfriends immediately worry about you, especially Yoongi. He is the first to notice the shift in your mood, pulling you aside to talk.

"Hey," Yoongi says softly, his voice filled with concern. "What's up? You've been tense all day."

You sigh, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. "Sorry…It's just... the bullshit rumors on the confessions account Instagram. I’ve been getting hit with so many DMs from burner accounts calling me “the Beta Tau Slut”. I’ve blocked a lot of them, but…" You feel your eyes slowly fill with tears of anger, but unwilling to let them fall.

Explaining all of this feelsl so stupid. Namjoon and Jimin join the conversation, their faces mirroring Yoongi's worry. "Babt, we won’t let them get to you," Namjoon says, taking your hand in his. "You know we’re here for you, right?"

"I know," you reply, squeezing his hand. "I’m usually good at ignoring shit like this, but damn… it just won’t stop."

Jimin wraps an arm around you, his warmth comforting. "We’ll handle this together, okay? We won’t let them say shit to bring us down."

Their support makes you feel better, but the constant negativity still lingers in your mind. It isn’t just about ignoring the gossip—it is about reclaiming your narrative and not letting anyone else define you or your relationship.

The next day, Yoongi surprises you with an idea. "Let’s make a statement," he suggests. "We’ll show everyone that we’re proud of what we have."

"How?" you ask, curious but hesitant.

"We’ll post about it," Jimin says, determination in his eyes. "Not intended to fuel the rumors, but to show that we’re happy and in love. Let them say what they want. We know the truth." Namjoon and Yoongi nod in agreement. "It’s time we take control of our story," Namjoon adds.

That’s when your three boyfriends post a photo of all three of them kissing your face at once, followed by a photo dump of other moments from that spring semester.

There is no caption, as the photos really speak for themselves. You receive a downpour of positive comments from people who either already knew about your relationship with Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jimin or familiar faces you have good relationships with that comment their congratulatory messages to you four.

That eases some of the anxiety that has been building up inside you. Seeing the supportive messages and knowing that there are people who genuinely care about you and respect your relationship makes a significant difference. You feel a sense of relief and gratitude wash over you as you read through the kind words. You're glad you have the best boyfriends. They have stood by you, defending your relationship and ensuring you feel loved and cherished despite all odds.

–

"Took you long to come clean, honey pie." Hwasa narrows her eyes at you from the doorway of your room.

“Look I can explain…” You look away in shame, clutching your pillow closely, feeling more anxious than ever. You’ve never had close female friends before, so having to be comforted by one feels scarier than when the guys confronted you about things.

"Explain why you couldn’t tell me why you were snogging with your three guy best friends? I thought we were friends!" She pulls out her phone, pointing to the photo Yoongi had posted as well as Namjoon and Jimin’s.

You really were planning to tell her not long after you made it official with Beta Tau Sigma, but now it feels too late that she found out through several Instagram posts.

“I was scared you would think it’s weird…” "Weird?" She scrunches her face in confusion as she moves closer towards you, her tone serious. "I thought it was pretty fucking… awesome!" Her enthusiasm grows suddenly. "That’s every girl’s fantasy—dating the school’s hottest guys all at once? Trust me, I’ve heard stranger things."

“Really? Like…” You whisper, asking cautiously.

Hwasa sighs, her expression softening as she sits down beside you on the bed. “Like a girl from Psi Gamma doing coke lines with her professor and fucking him after for an A+, or a Mu Chi guy getting his dick up after injecting steroids,” she says with a chuckle. “Trust me, your situation isn’t even close to weird in comparison.”

You have a lot of questions about what she just told you, but you’ll save it for later.

You let out a nervous laugh, relieved by her understanding tone. “I guess you’re right. It’s just all so new to me. I’m so sorry, Hwasa.”

“It’s okay,” Hwasa reassures you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Like I’ve said a million times before, I got your back. I just feel bad for not being able to protect you from the harassment sooner…”

You sigh. "It’s not your fault Hwasa. But the good thing is that I had my boyfriends with me who have been doing their best and bearing with me through this. They’ve really made me feel what love actually is.”

"And that's why I'm so happy for you. I haven't known them for too long, but they’ve always seemed like great guys. If they make you happy, then I'm all for it." Hwasa joins you on your bed, getting comfortable under your Pompompurin blanket.

You smile, feeling the warmth spread through your chest as you move in for a hug. “Thank you, Hwasa. That means a lot.” After a moment, you pull back and remember your other friends. “Wait..do… Soohyun, Jieun, and Soyoon know?”

Hwasa groans, flopping back on the bed. “Soohyun saw the posts, but she’s still a confused little bird, bless her heart. Jieun, though, she’s sharp. She told me she caught on during that camping trip a few months ago. I thought she was imagining things, but she was spot on.” You blush, realizing you definitely need to talk to Jieun about this. “As for Soyoon, she and I had a bet on whether you’d end up with Namjoon or Yoongi because they seemed like more likely options than Jimin at the time. I was Team Yoongi, by the way. But… I guess we both won, so…” You both burst into laughter.

Hwasa's eyes light up with mischief. “Oh, but Soyoon did not see this coming at all! She was convinced you’d end up with Namjoon only. She told me he couldn't stop yapping about you to her whenever they’d hang out. You should have seen her face when she saw the photos! Her jaw literally dropped. She was in complete shock.”

You giggle, imagining Soyoon’s expression. “I can picture it. I guess I have a lot of explaining to do.”

Hwasa grins, “You do, but take your time. They’ll understand. And if anyone gives you trouble, they’ll have to deal with me first.”

“Thanks, Hwasa. I really do appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” she says, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Now, you better tell me how this all began. Every detail. Even the nastiest ones! You’ve got liquor in the kitchen, and I can get Hoseok to provide some weed on the house.”

A good smoke session sounds perfect to loosen up and spill everything.

You nod, then yell, “Hoseok!” He comes running from downstairs, looking confused.

“Give us the good stuff,” Hwasa says with a wink, beckoning him to bring the weed he keeps in a closet next to his room.

“As long as I can join for a bit too!” He smirks back at her, which she returns as well.

You both look at them, shaking your head.

Oh god, this is gonna be a long night.

–

Along with dating, other things that you are all initially worried about eventually start to fall into place.

Yoongi ends up finishing the mixtape he’s been working on for the longest time.

He submitted the best one out of all his peers, which means Professor Kang fulfilled his end of the bargain, writing him a letter of recommendation, and sending his mixtape to Mr. Bang. He said he’d never listened to such an innovative and unique collection of music and held Yoongi in high regard.

“Mr. Bang reached out to me!” Yoongi announces excitedly one afternoon in mid-May, holding up his phone for you to see. “He says he wants to do a Zoom call and talk business!”

You take his phone and read the email on the screen: “As I know you are still studying at X City University, it may be difficult for you to relocate to LA on such a short notice for the summer, but I’d like to potentially offer you a 3-month internship with Bighit Records. You can work remotely for now and then come into the LA office for the last few weeks of the internship. We will discuss more during our call. I don’t want to miss out on having a talented individual with growing potential join our label.”

You pause, stunned by the news. “Holy fucking shit, Min Yoongi! I told you that you could do it!” you exclaim, rushing to hug him.

“Like I said before, it’s because you had faith in me and gave me your love as motivation.”

Blushing, you kiss him on the cheek. “Stop, you’re being so cheesy!”

Yoongi laughs, pulling you closer. "Cheesy, but true."

When the other Beta Sigma boys hear the news, they immediately announce they are going to throw Yoongi a party to celebrate his achievement. Hoseok excitedly proclaims he will supply the alcohol, while Taehyung promises to buy the weed.

“We’re going all out tonight!” Hoseok declares, setting alcohol bottles down on the kitchen counter. “Only the best for our future music mogul.” That night is probably one of the most fun parties of the year.

–

Jimin, too, finds his groove. He wasn’t sure what other goals he had besides trying to get his business degree. He knows that either he or his younger brother would have to start running his dad’s bakery one day. But before that, Jimin’s dad wants him to become a prosecutor…which Jimin wasn’t completely keen on doing.

But there is one thing he does like: dancing. Aside from majoring in business, he is minoring in dance just because it lets him have an outlet to explore his long-time passions. Working for a corporation after graduating seems like the next big move, but for someone like Jimin, he thrives in creative environments more than a boring office.

He’s been doing dance covers since high school and uploading them on YouTube.

Recently, a few of his dance performances with Hoseok started gaining recognition. This led to him asking Jimin to perform in the college dance team’s performance for the university’s end-of-the-year culture fest, as well as choreograph it. He was initially nervous, as he hasn’t done something like this in so long, but you and your other two boyfriends attended his rehearsals, supporting him and cheering him on.

After he killed the performance amazingly with his fellow dancers, Jimin has new aspirations in mind.

“I talked to my parents earlier, more specifically my dad,” Jimin says, laying his head on your lap and looking up at you. “Told him I want to take dance seriously and make it my career.”

“Oh? What did he say about that?” you ask curiously, your fingers running gently through his hair.

“He was a little hesitant at first. You know, trying to nicely say it’s not financially stable.” You hum softly at his words, understanding the concern. “But then he said I could work an office job and dance at one of those professional dance studios during my free time. When I’d make enough, I could leave that job and stick to dance.”

You smile down at him, admiration shining in your eyes. “That sounds like a good plan to work towards. At least he’s supportive, even if he’s worried.”

Jimin nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, I’m glad he didn’t outright dismiss it. I just need to prove to him—and to myself—that I can make it work.”

“You can do it, Jimin. You’re an amazing dancer. With your talent and determination, there’s no way you won’t succeed,” you say, your voice filled with conviction. “You’ve made it this far after all.”

He reaches up, taking your hand in his and squeezing it gently. “Really? You think I could aim for 1Million Dance Studio?”

“Pfft.” You say, grinning. “You are the Jimin Park, after all. Son of the famed Magnate Bakery’s Hyunsoo Park.”

“This is one of the many reasons I love you, babe. Thank you.” He laughs, an angelic sound that fills the room, and cuddles further into your lap, making you laugh at his clinginess.

–

As for Namjoon, he has switched his study abroad program to the summer instead of the fall semester. Being the (slightly) possessive boyfriend that he is, he can’t bear being away for that long. Especially this early on in the relationship when he is worried other guys would try to get at you. But you reassure him that it won’t happen, Jimin and Yoongi are with you anyway.

Despite you rarely seeing Jaebeom around after he got the biggest hint that you already had… others, Namjoon sometimes worries you’ll sway.

One evening, as you sit together in your cozy living room studying for finals with Taehyung, Jungkook, Hoseok and Jin, Namjoon brings up his concerns. "You’re not gonna randomly break up with me… or all of us while I’m gone right?" he asks, his voice tinged with unease. "What if Jaebeom tries to get at you again? Or Mingyu? I know he’s such an attractive guy and you–"

You interrupt him mid-rant and take his hand in yours, squeezing it reassuringly. "Namjoon, you know I love you. I love Jimin and Yoongi too. You don’t have to worry about anyone else getting in the way. And besides, these Beta guys will keep protecting me too, right guys?"

Taehyung looks up from his notes and grins. "Absolutely! No one's getting past us!"

Jungkook nods vigorously. "We’ve got her back, Namjoon. Always."

Hoseok chimes in, flashing a bright smile. "Yeah, don’t worry. We’ll keep all those weird frat boys, international students, and businessmen away."

Jin, ever the voice of reason, adds, "You’ve got nothing to worry about, Namjoon. It’s literally summer session too, who the fuck is going to be around here anyways."

Namjoon smiles, albeit a bit shyly. "I know, I know. It’s just me being paranoid.” He lets out a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing. "Thanks, guys. I mean it.”

Taehyung chimes in, hitting you with his elbow, “If anything, our little Honey should be worried that her boyfriend won’t find another pretty girl while he’s in Korea.”

You playfully roll your eyes, nudging Taehyung back. "Oh, please. Namjoon is too obsessed with me, reading books and looking at art to notice anyone else."

"Very offended you would even think I would do that, Tae." Namjoon narrows his eyes at him, smacking him on the shoulder. "I’m only going to Korea to study at Yonsei, and I’m taking a really cool contemporary art class taught by a famous art conservator and historian. Plus, there’s this student organization I want to join that focuses on integrating art and social change. That’s what’s going to keep me busy."

Taehyung laughs, rubbing his shoulder. "Ah! Okay, okay, I get it. Mr. ‘Studious Foo’. Never mind."

Not long after, Yoongi and Jimin come home carrying bags of BB.Q Chicken and a selection of Korean beers they picked up from H-Mart downtown. The enticing aroma of fried chicken fills the room as they unpack the boxes, revealing an array of golden, crispy goodness as well as sides of white radish in cups and french fries. One box contains your favorite: Soy Garlic flavored chicken, a perfect blend of sweet and savory that you always have to make sure Yoongi orders instead of the original flavor. The other box holds Yangnyeom chicken, coated in a vibrant red sauce that provides a sweet and spicy kick that Jungkook and Jimin are obsessed with. You all gather around the dining table, the spread of chicken and cold beers inviting you all to indulge. The clinking of bottles and the sound of laughter fills the room as everyone settles in. Yoongi pours the beer, its crisp, refreshing taste pairing perfectly with the rich flavors of the chicken.

As you start eating, Namjoon begins to share details about his upcoming study abroad program. He speaks animatedly about his itinerary, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

“That sounds really cool, Joonie,” you say, genuinely happy for him. “You’ve always been so passionate about art and using it to make a difference, so I’m glad you have the chance to discover more about that.”

"Thank you my love," Namjoon says, his smile growing. "It's a dream come true, really. And I promise, I’ll keep in touch as much as I can. Video calls, texts, everything."

Jimin, who has been quietly listening, chimes in, "We'll make sure she’s too busy to even think about other guys, hyung. Don't worry about that."

Yoongi smirks, giving Namjoon a playful nudge. "And we’ll show you proof too.”

These nights—eating delicious food, savoring Korean beers, and sharing laughs and dreams with your closest friends—are moments you cherished deeply.

However, there is a bittersweet realization looming: Hoseok and Jin are about to graduate. Soon, these carefree gatherings will change. The thought tugs at your heart as you look around the table, capturing the smiles and laughter etched into your memory. You silently vow to hold onto these precious moments, knowing they will become even more precious with time.

–

About two weeks later, Jin graduated from college. The whole house attends the ceremony, each of you holding flower bouquets or some sort of gift to congratulate him. It is a hot afternoon, sun blazing throughout the 2-hour commencement ceremony while the friends and families sitting on the bleachers are excited and proud.

After the ceremony ends, you all gather down on the soccer field. Jin’s brother, mom, dad, pregnant sister-in-law, and nephew have already arrived to congratulate Jin.

Namjoon, who has been unusually secretive lately, suddenly opens a decently large case he had brought with him. Upon opening it, he pulls out his old saxophone, the one he hasn’t touched since high school. He immediately starts playing it, a catchy tune filling the air. Everyone turns to him in surprise, especially Hoseok.

"Why on earth did you bring that out after so long?" Hoseok asks, his eyebrow raising in curiosity.

Namjoon grins, positioning the saxophone and taking a deep breath. "It's a bet I made with Jin during his freshman year," he explains. "I told him that if he actually graduated on time, I'd serenade him with the 'Epic Sax Guy' song from the 2010 Eurovision."

The group bursts into laughter, Jin included, who is now shaking his head with a wide smile. "I can't believe you remembered that," He says, amusement clear in his voice.

Namjoon continues to play, and all of you around him can’t help but laugh and cheer, clapping along to the music. Jin is doubled over in laughter, tears streaming down his face as he watches his friend fulfill an old, ridiculous bet.

Jieun approaches you, wearing a white dress under her graduation gown, her eyes filled with concern and curiosity. She glances at your three boyfriends, who are behind you, laughing and teasing Jin. He looks both amused and embarrassed by the attention he's receiving from people around him after Namjoon's serenade.

"You think you'll be okay, Honey?" Jieun asks, her gaze shifting from the boys to you. Her question is gentle, but her eyes are sharp, taking in every detail.

Your cheeks redden. "I still can't believe you caught on to everything months before anyone else, Jieun."

She grins, a twinkle in her eye. "Of course. Nothing gets past me! Just wasn’t sure whether I was understanding things right." She jokes, giving your arm a light squeeze.

You smile at her, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "But to answer your question, yeah, I think so. We've got a good thing going, and we'll make it work."

Her expression softens, and she steps closer, pulling you into a hug. "I’m glad. I really do think you guys are meant for each other. Just like soulmates."

Soulmates. The word resonates deeply with you. All of the signs from the past just point out to that after all. It just took a little longer for you and them to realize it.

You’re pulled from your thoughts as Jieun continues, shifting the conversation.

"I'll be moving in less than 24 hours to LA to start my first job in entertainment next Monday. You better come down and visit me, alright?" She gently pokes your cheek, making you giggle.

"Oh woah! I will!"

"And don't forget about what I told you back in April. If you’re still interested, I’ll help you get there."

You nod eagerly, feeling a surge of determination, before you're interrupted by Soohyun, Hwasa, and Soyoon, who come over to bombard Jieun with their congratulatory flower bouquets.

As you watch the joyful scene, you can't help but reflect on your own future. After all, your boyfriends had started thinking about their careers, it makes you realize that maybe you should start getting your shit together as well. You are now their girlfriend with the potential to become their wife, which leads you to talk to Jieun, who was a senior in your department, about your future. Your career.

As a psych major and theater minor, her goal is to go into the entertainment industry and become an actress or go into hospitality in this field. And being a business major and psych minor yourself, hearing her stories about her internship from last summer made you realize you want to consider getting into this industry as well. Jimin and Yoongi will be involved in it due to dance and music, and Namjoon will be consequentially also in it due to working in art, so it will make sense. Maybe this is something you will start looking into as you approach your last two years of college.

As the day draws to a close, you find yourself standing with your boyfriends, the warm glow of the setting sun casting a golden hue over the soccer field. Jin’s friends and families surround him, laughter and chatter filling the air. Namjoon wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close.

"Ready to head home and party?" he asks, his voice soft and comforting.

You nod, feeling a sense of contentment settle over you. "Hell yeah!"

++++++++++++

June 21 [Friday]

The sun is scorching as you stand outside feeling the summer heatwave pound down on you. However, your relief for quenching your thirst is suddenly gone as your hand lets go of your iced peach tea. You stare blankly at the building in front of you.

“You’re… going to lease an apartment for all four of us?” You manage to word out, turning back to look at Namjoon and Yoongi in shock.

Namjoon now sports a buzzcut, a new look he wanted to try after seeing how stress-free Sanyawn was with his own buzzcut. The change suits him well, and he looks undeniably hot. He’s wearing a slightly ill-fitted navy blue shirt that shows off his toned arms and a pair of khaki shorts, perfect for the summer heat. His new haircut accentuates his strong jawline and expressive eyes, giving him an edgy yet clean appearance.

Yoongi’s hair has progressively gotten longer, with some locks now cascading down to his shoulders. You were always used to his hair being side-swept or even in a bowl cut, but this new length is more than alluring. Dressed in a loose white linen graphic tee and jorts, Yoongi exudes an effortless cool despite the weather. The longer hair frames his face beautifully, highlighting his sharp features and giving him an almost ethereal doll-like look.

Jimin stands beside you, his hair now a striking blonde. He always talked about dyeing his hair but was hesitant to take the plunge until last week when Jungkook spontaneously decided to help him do it. It could’ve gone really badly, but it turned out incredibly well. He looks prettier than ever, the blonde contrasting perfectly with his warm skin tone. Jimin is wearing a white t-shirt and ripped jeans, a playful and stylish summer outfit that complements his new hair color.

“Uh, I mean, why not? We’re dating after all. Think it would be better for us.” Yoongi shrugs, walking towards the side gate entrance of the apartment complex and going inside. Jimin helps grab your sad, empty plastic cup on the ground and throw it in a nearby bin. You just got it on the way here and were barely halfway done with it. Nonetheless, the three of you follow along behind him on this self-guided apartment tour.

“But…what about Beta Tau Sigma? The house?” Your words sound sad. “Are we not living there even after Seokjin and Hoseok graduate?”

You were only there for a little less than a year, but managed to become so much closer to the guys who you’d only share a few words with and maybe some small talk prior to living with them. What’s going to happen to them now? The house being two stories and having 4 rooms made it rather expensive to live in, especially in the area you are in. With 8 people living in it, there wasn’t much difficulty in getting the bills paid, and still having enough for other things like tuition and whatever fun stuff we had.

You’ve been working in the library since your freshman year, and while you didn’t talk about it much, the guys had jobs to contribute to the costs as well. Namjoon works at a local art gallery near campus with San Yawn. Jimin works at the Admissions building and does campus tours to visiting students (which usually always charms them to enroll). Yoongi does freelance producing work for some studios in the area. Taehyung works late nights at a jazz club while Jungkook works reception at the gym. Hoseok is a dance instructor at a local community center and Jin… Jin doesn’t work. His rich parents have been really supportive to help provide for the other expenses.

“They’re planning to move out sometime in January. Jin just graduated and Hoseok is graduating in December. They don’t know if they’ll still be around, so Taehyung and Jungkook won’t be able to cover all the costs on their own. They’re looking to rent an apartment here too.” Namjoon adds.

A silence falls as the reality of things changing settles in.

“Can’t believe this is the end of Beta Tau Sigma…” Jimin mumbles, which doesn’t go unheard by the rest of you guys.

“For now. If things start looking good for us post-grad, maybe we’ll rent a new house together that’s even bigger. It was feeling a bit cramped in the last few months, not gonna lie.” Namjoon puts an arm around you, “But for now, we need some privacy…” He smirks at you, which makes your eyes roll.

“What he wants to say is that we can’t fuck you on the kitchen table at the BTS house.” Yoongi bluntly says, making you choke on your spit. Namjoon and Jimin begin to hit your back, which makes it worse with multiple hits.

“Hyung!” Namjoon and Jimin yell at the older man, who shrugs.

“Oh my god…” It’s an understatement to say you are feeling half nervous and half horny at the thought of being fucked on every surface of your new home by your three boyfriends. Are you even going to survive that?

After a couple of months of being together, most of those times you’ve taken turns having sex with all three of them. At times, maybe one boyfriend would be in the room watching you and another getting it on. But as they mentioned, it’s not particularly easy to have sex as a group when you live with 4 other guys. Keeping quiet is not a simple task. You could’ve sworn you overhead Taehyung saying to Jimin and Jungkook that he got off of the sounds you and the guys were making one of those nights. And maybe you haven’t been able to look him in the eye since!

“You guys know I’m up for anything,” you say with a grin, giving them a thumbs-up, which earns you bashful smiles in return.

"Give it a few weeks while Namjoon is away, and you're all ours," Jimin teases, winking mischievously. “You know what an Eiffel tower is?”

“I–”

"H-Hey, that's not fair!" Namjoon protests, though his smile betrays his playful spirit.

After Jimin’s teasing comment, you all decide it is time to go check out the new apartment.

Upon entering the place itself, you are greeted by a spacious living room with large windows that let in plenty of natural light. The kitchen is modern and sleek, and there are three bedrooms, one for each of your boyfriends. The best part is the balcony overlooking the pool, a perfect spot for late-night talks and relaxing evenings.

“This place is beautiful!” you exclaim, twirling around in the living room. “You guys did great!”

“We thought you’d like it,” Namjoon says, grinning proudly.

“We should start moving in right away,” Yoongi suggests, already planning how to arrange the furniture. “Makes things easier before we start to get busy this summer.”

You nod excitedly in response, which makes him lean in close to you and kiss your temple.

A part of your heart breaks knowing that you won’t be back at that house on a daily, but no matter what, you’re ready for a new beginning with your soulmates.

–

Over the next couple of days, you all work together to move in. It’s a whirlwind of unpacking boxes, arranging furniture, and hanging up decorations. Namjoon proves to be surprisingly meticulous, insisting on organizing the bookshelf by genre. Jimin and Yoongi spend hours setting up a cozy corner with bean bags and a record player.

Finally, with everything in place, you all decide to celebrate with a pool party with friends at the apartment complex. The sun is shining, and the air is filled with the sounds of laughter and splashing water.

This is truly what life is.

“Uugh~”

“Fuck baby, stay still while I fuck your tiny pussy.” Namjoon whispers as he lifts your ass to thrust at a better angle. You are currently trying to balance yourself with your noodle arm on the couch as Yoongi enters in and out of your mouth and you use your other hand to pleasure Jimin’s cock.

You were enjoying the party not long ago, and then once it ended, they immediately came back in with you, locked the door and closed the blinds. You guess the black swimsuit you bought really enticed them through the day.

Now you’re being overstimulated to the brim. Your body is going to ache tomorrow for sure.

“This fucking bikini… Were you trying to kill us?” Yoongi chuckles, his hips are moving more frantically now, chasing his orgasm with little regard for how obvious his movements are.

“So fucking slutty wearing that in front of the guys.” Namjoon moans quietly. “Let me breed you before I leave you to Yoongi and Jimin.” He snickers, making you whine as your cheeks heat up. Not long after the first couple of times with Namjoon, you found out he has a size kink, a breeding kink, and a slight degradation kink. It’s so interesting to see the contrast from being a golden retriever on a normal daily basis.

Namjoon pulls out and snaps his hips back into you, burying himself inside you over and over again, his movements make your brain go fuzzy as he uses his knee to push your legs further apart, from this angle he reaches deeper inside you, his fat tip prodding at your cervix. He presses his large hand right above your womb to feel himself moving inside, the feeling sends you over the edge as well, and your walls squeeze him, robbing him of all breath.

“Shit..” Is all he manages as his climax hits him unexpectedly, you feel him spill inside you painting your walls white. Yoongi follows, making you swallow the cum as Jimin paints your tits with his own.

+++++++++++++

July 9th [Monday]

A few weeks later, Namjoon is in Korea, settling into his study abroad program. It has been years since he was last in Korea, back when he was just a kid before he moved to the US. Now, as he overlooks the sprawling Seoul skyline from his dorm window, he can’t help but think about how much his life has changed since then—especially after meeting you, his next-door neighbor. He often daydreamed about bringing you here one day, showing you all the places that meant so much to him. He’d start with Ilsan, his hometown, then Daegu, where Yoongi was from, and finally, Busan, where Jimin’s mom currently lives.

But those daydreams will have to wait.

For now, he has to focus on his studies and then think of the future. Namjoon opens his planner, filling it with various assignments he has received for the semester. He makes a note to visit the National Museum of Korea in the coming days for one of his assignments. As he glances at the date, he suddenly realizes something important.

“July 10th here… Wait… July 9th. It’s baby’s birthday in the States,” he muttered to himself. “Damn, I was so busy getting settled here that I almost forgot.” Just as he is about to panic, his phone buzzes with a video call notification. It’s you.

Wasting no time, he answers the call, looking forward to seeing your face after a few days of not seeing it virtually.

But it isn’t your face, it’s Jimin’s.

“Hi Hyung! You didn’t wish our baby happy birthday earlier so…” He switches the camera view, showing Namjoon what appears to be you, receiving backshots from Jimin as you suck on Yoongi’s dick. “We wanted to show you what you were missing.”

Eiffel Tower.

Namjoon's eyes widen as he watches the video. He can’t believe what he is seeing, but a small smile creeps onto his face.

Jimin passes the phone over to Yoongi, who holds the phone close to your face, showing his dick going in and out of your mouth.

“Fuck…” Namjoon's hand slowly inches inside his sweatpants, palming his cock slightly.

“Baby, show your daddy how good you’re taking me,” Yoongi said seductively.

You smile playfully, your eyes locked with Namjoon's eyes on the phone. You slowly take Yoongi's dick deeper into your mouth, swallowing and pulling back before starting all over again. Jimin and Yoongi sigh contentedly, their eyes never leaving yours.

Namjoon watches, mesmerized by the sight. His heart races as he stares at the beauty of your body, your lips wrapped around Yoongi's dick.

He feels a wave of longing and desire wash over him, making him pull out his own dick to stroke it as he watches you be taken by his two best friends.

The sound of your moans and their groans fill his ears as he continues to watch. His mind races with thoughts of the three of you together.

Jimin and Yoongi's bodies move in perfect harmony with each other, their sweaty skin slapping against your soft lips. Namjoon's own cock twitches in his hand, unable to hold back his own arousal any longer. He wonders if the three of you are thinking of him as he watches, if you are fucking with the intention of sharing your pleasure with him.

Namjoon eyes widen as Yoongi sets the phone down, propping it up so Namjoon can get a full view of you being fucked and Yoongi making out with Jimin.

He can see your body arching, Yoongi's dick sliding in and out of you as you reach down to stroke Jimin's dick. Jimin moans into Yoongi's mouth, his own hand moving faster on his own cock. The sight of you pleasuring the two of them is more than Namjoon can take.

He begins stroking himself faster, desperate for an orgasm.

As you begin to scream, Yoongi and Jimin follow suit, their orgasms filling the air. You collapse onto the bed, panting, as the three of them kiss and cuddle. Namjoon's own orgasm hits him like a freight train, his eyes locked onto the screen as he comes, his body shuddering with pleasure.

Fuck.

He needs to get through this semester abroad, make connections, come home and take care of you all for the rest of your lives.

“Happy birthday, baby.” He huffs before you wave with the laziest and most fucked out smile ever.

“I m-miss you.” You say before Yoongi ends the call to continue whatever he and Jimin have planned for your birthday night.

++++++++++++

September 6th [Friday]

“What are your thoughts on having kids?”

You nearly choke on your water, sputtering and coughing as you set the glass down.

“Kim Namjoon!?” you manage to say, eyes wide with surprise. It hasn’t even been a full week since Namjoon returned from Korea, and here he is, bringing up such a huge question out of nowhere.

Namjoon looks at you with a calm, thoughtful expression, leaning back on the couch with Jimin and Yoongi on either of his sides, eating snacks while catching up on One Piece. “I’ve just been thinking a lot, especially after being away. I mean, it’s not like I’m saying we should have kids right now… or ever, but... I’m curious about your thoughts on it.”

You blink, still processing the sudden shift in conversation. “Well, honestly, I don’t really want to have kids…”

You’ve never had motherly instincts or felt like a caretaking figure. You have a younger sibling, but you’re only a few years apart in age, similar to Jimin and his brother or Namjoon and his sister, so it doesn’t require you to take on much responsibility. Plus, the things you’ve read online about pregnancy heavily scare you. You refuse to do it.

Silence proceeds, making you a little nervous. “I… Uh, could we opt for cats?” You suggest, giggling awkwardly.

“Okay but…” You start, knowing you’re gonna regret even saying this. “Maybe… just maybe… I’ll consider having one child. You guys just have to rock paper scissors that.”

Namjoon chuckles, his eyes softening. “If that’s what you want, sure. As long as we get three and we each get to name them.”

Yoongi smirks, leaning back. “I call for naming one Gyul!” You remember it means Tangerine in Korean, and it fits Yoongi’s vibe perfectly.

Jimin’s face lights up. “I’ll go with Marimo, like the moss ball,” he adds, making you laugh at the thought of a fluffy cat named after a plant.

You take a deep breath, feeling a bit more at ease. “Okay but…” you start, knowing you’re going to regret even saying this. “Maybe… just maybe… I’ll consider having one child. You guys just have to rock paper scissors for that.”

“Really?!” Namjoon’s eyes widen, excited by the potential.

The room erupts in laughter, the tension dissipating. “Rock paper scissors to decide who gets the honor, huh?” Yoongi grins, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “I guess that’s one way to settle it.”

“Let’s decide now!” Jimin’s competitive nature kicks in, and he’s already positioning his hand for the game.

“Wait, wait!” You laugh, holding up your hands. “We’re still in college! Let’s give it several years for us to get settled with everything and our careers–”

“What about marriage? That can happen sooner right?” Yoongi’s eyes gleam with curiosity and a hint of excitement.

You blink, taken aback. “Marriage?”

You’re not gonna lie. You have thought about this one.

It would be difficult to get married to all three of them in a country where polyamory isn’t…legal. And there’s also the whole thing with Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin’s parents being Korean and religious. That would most certainly give some or even all of their families heart attacks. So what were you thinking would be a good solution to this.

Legally marry only one of them.

And surprisingly you already have someone in mind for this.

“Your face is telling us you have thought about it.” Namjoon chuckles.

“What!? No way.” After cleaning the spill from earlier, you turn to sit on the loveseat, holding your bag of Lay’s Sea Salt & Vinegar chips with your glass of wine. These are your go-to snacks after all… well right after the Banana Kick Korean Cheetos that your local H-mart ran out of.

“So who did you have in mind, or are we also playing rock, paper, scissors for this?” Jimin wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

“I have someone in mind, but I’m not gonna say yet!” You say, then eat your chips. “I don’t think I’ll change my mind, but you can always try to win me over…perhaps.”

Namjoon chuckles, leaning forward. “You’re really going to keep us in suspense, huh?”

Yoongi smirks, nudging Namjoon. “Better step up your game, Joon. Looks like you’ve got some competition.” He gestures to himself and Jimin.

Jimin laughs, popping a cheese ball into his mouth. “Challenge accepted. Just wait and see, Y/N.”

Is this really going to be another virginity race with them?

You roll your eyes at their silliness. "I do not want to see this turn into a competition again, guys. So let’s just go with the flow. This is a democracy!" you declare, trying to maintain a light-hearted atmosphere about this before they start a fight over this.

Namjoon leans back comfortably on the couch, his expression thoughtful. "Fair enough," he concedes, a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes. "But you know we're all going to do our best to win you over for this."

Yoongi chuckles softly, leaning in closer. "That's right. We'll make sure you know why we're the best choice," he says with a playful smirk.

Jimin nods eagerly, reaching for the wine bottle on the coffee table to refill his glass. "You can count on it," he chimes in, his gaze lingering on you with affection.

Outside, the last rays of sunlight filter through the curtains, painting fleeting patterns on the floor. The evening breeze rustles the leaves outside, a gentle reminder that time continues to move on. Inside, amidst the comfortable familiarity of your new shared space with your boyfriends, you take a moment to savor the scene, knowing there’s more to this love story with your soulmates for years to come.

–

Fin.

–

Hi everyone. I just want to thank you all for reading this fic since it was released almost one year ago, August 29th, 2023. As I mentioned before, I had actually thought up this fic on May 29, 2020 and fleshed it out a little more on May 26, 2021. I have a whole character chart on activities/personalities/etc and the first half of chapter 1 up until Yoongi and Reader got ready to go to the Gamma Party. Though, I never got to writing more than that as I ended up getting hired for my first job after college not long after. Last year I got laid off from said job, but there were many issues that had me on thin ice and burnout. Sometimes I wonder if I should've stayed longer and carried on with it. But nonetheless, this leads me to a lot of great small opportunities I’ve found in the past year through networking and meeting amazing people in the music industry. It also gave me time to be like, “I guess maybe I could go back to writing this fic now that I have too much time on my hands…”

I have written fics in the past, but never managed to finish any series. Well, there was an Attack on Titan fic with several thousands of reads on Wattpad, but i will not comment on this further haha. So this was truly my return to writing. It’s funny because I had initially not planned the fic to end up this way. Yoonminjoon have been my bias line for the last 4 years, so I knew that’s the delusional focus I wanted. But definitely had various drafts and plans that could’ve gone differently. But to spoil you on some of those initial ideas…

The original fic plan had more emphasis on Jaebeom throughout the story as (somewhat) an antagonist that would be dating Reader until Yoonminjoon would realize their feelings throughout the story and eventually snatch her away not long after the first 4 chapaters. Jaebeom was my GOT7 bias for a long time before I fell out of the fandom.

not an initial idea but aside from the poly / fwb stuff, there were a lot of events in this fic based on things that happen to me when i was in college a few years ago. i somehow had a pretty wholesome experience, but did have many guy friends than girl friends in college so that did help me in relationship dynamic writing

Other notes I had from 2020 drafts: [Joon, Jimin, Tae and Y/N work at Joon’s family coffee shop on the weekends. Yoongi goes back home sometimes to help his mom at their family restaurant, but mostly works as an underground composer and sells beats. Hobi works on campus in the library. Jin is...rich. Koo works at a chicken place.] Obviously most of this did not happen in this fic, as mentioned earlier in this chapter with changed job responsibilities. Though the one job mainly mentioned in the story was Reader working in the library.

Had more smoking, (light) drugs, etc. use involved. It’s mainly alcohol and weed, but even then it wasn’t heavily done which makes me want to go back and add more of this later on.

Not really initial notes but age/year timeline in this fic for anyone confused

Seniors: Jin, Hoseok (graduated high school early)

Juniors: Namjoon, Yoongi

Sophomores: Reader, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkoo

Jimin cheating on Irene to get with Reader

I really wanted to do this because I wanted Irene to be more involved in the story, but that would make it too messy and dragged out. I would’ve had to make this story like 25 chapters if that were the case.

Also I don’t personally think Jimin would cheat on his gf in this fic or irl, so I didn’t want to write him like that. I had to break them up before he could do anything else.

Jackson

was supposed to be a bigger character in the series… but i accidentally did reduce him to “Jackson the party host”... but at least he’s Hoseok’s close friend and show up often

Jin

I wanted to tie in more of the frat activities and dynamics in this fic as BTS is an unofficial frat on campus and he’s the leader of it, but I honestly don’t think was too important and could take away from the actual story

Jin was supposed to kick out Reader from the house as her relationships with her best friends got too messy and complex, though he didn’t want to do it.

Jihyo

Jihyo was supposed to date Namjoon longer and break up with him during the party where Reader ran into Yeonjun. Timeline should’ve been: Namjoon is at the TXT frat party with Jihyo -> Namjoon fights Yeonjun to protect reader -> Reader is shocked and upset -> Jihyo is confused and Namjoon comes clean about his feelings for Reader -> Break Up -> Namjoon confesses to Reader

I also wanted Jihyo to send the “confession” text to Reader regarding what Namjoon said at the Gamma Party much sooner, so when she saw Namjoon at the TXT frat party, she would know everything. But I couldn’t find a way to tie it in earlier during her fight with Yoonmin. Very messy stuff.

I thought Jihyo was the best choice as Namjoon’s side “love” interest in 2020/2021, but once all the Namjoon and Soyoon friendship photos started coming out, I kinda of abandoned Jihyo and changed my focus to Soyoon.

Soyoon

Soyoon takes on the side girl best friend role that Jihyo would’ve eventually had

Soyoon was supposed to date Namjoon briefly, but it was too messy to write in, so I just made Reader have initial suspicions before the truth came out in Ch 8

Reader and Namjoon weren’t supposed to sleep together after the Yeonjun fight. Soyoon was supposed to act as a wingman for Joon so he could apologize to Reader and then they would have their first time in the library. But I wrote things definitely so it wouldn’t end up like that.

Jungkook

Jungkook was supposed to be closer and more clingy to Reader. They have a close relationship, but I felt that it interfered with other things in the story, so I left it with the mention that he had a little crush on her and would hang out with her often.

Jungkook is the end game if Reader didn’t end up with Yoonminjoon. (hehe)

Namjoon

If there was only one end game from Yoonminjoon, it would’ve been Namjoon for obvious reasons.

If Reader ran into Namjoon right after her fight with yoonmin, that would’ve changed everything and lead him to be end game. I discussed with Rae about these through texts after I dropped Ch 8.

Yoongi

Initially planned for him to not be caught so soon by Jimin, but honestly, didn’t want to drag it out and didn’t know how to tie it better

Should’ve been more Yoongi smut scenes

I don’t know when or if I’ll ever write another series as it’s very time consuming. But for the LUL universe, I still have the LA LA LOST YOU prequel with Reader’s relationship with Yeonjun almost done. IDC (i don’t care) is another series I’ve been thinking of releasing filled with WHAT IFs~ (...Reader picked Namjoon, Reader picked Yoongi, Reader picked Jimin, Reader picks everyone in Beta Tau Sigma?, Reader slept with Jaebeom at the party, etc.). But all of that will have to wait. Let me know your thoughts in the meantime though!

Until then, thank you for all your support, and hopefully we meet again.

With luv, @melancholy-of-nadia

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