#darn. elmer got me.

[daffpork]

looney tunes sideblog who che- [GUNSHOT]

[victorluvsalice]

We've reached Spring Tuesday in the Chill Valicer Save! And, as promised, today features Victor getting HIS occult on -- along with a trip to a festival! :D But first, of course, we have to get through everyone's morning chores on the farm...

-->Started off by having Alice go and plan outfits for everybody (after recovering from getting spooked by the house making creepy noises) so I could give Shock and Surprise different collars and finally have a way to tell them apart at a glance – Shock has a purple bow tie collar, while Surprise has a normal green collar. I also gave them both a Spookfest costume – Shock is a piece of sushi, while Surprise is a gladiator. XD I also took probably more time than I really should have searching out a new shirt for Smiler’s very first everyday outfit – while I really like the pattern on the shirt I originally chose for them, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just a bit too orange to be on-brand. And as I have absolutely NO experience with recoloring clothing... I eventually settled on a yellow shirt with a light bulb on it, that I’m pretty sure Smiler unlocked at some point from somewhere. (From being part of the Bot Savants at college, perhaps?) *shrug* It was the best option I had! There are surprisingly few good yellow swatches in this game...anyway, you'll see that later!

-->With that sorted, I returned to actual gameplay, having Alice grab Encyclopedia Vampirica Vol 2 to read (she chose to do so out on the porch next to a napping Shadow -- the gang really likes sitting with their pets outside now that the weather is nicer), while Smiler finished up a mechanism at the robotics bench and then got to work on a computer chip. Victor, meanwhile, was SUPPOSED to be sleeping, but after being woken up both by the house being creepy and by Surprise yowling outside the door (Victor tried lecturing her, but she didn’t understand what she did was wrong), I decided to just get him dressed and send him into his greenhouse. Which happened to have a specter bopping around. So, once he was down there, I had him take a moment to draw a nice picture on his digital sketchpad to hand over as a present.

Except the specter took one look at the picture and was like “nope, not my style.” *sigh* Seriously, why are these little ghosties so hard to please?! Just let me know what the trick is, darn it!

-->Well, with placating the specter with gifts a no-go, I let Victor have some breakfast (leftover meatballs from the greenhouse mini fridge, om nom) before he got to work on the garden. Alice, for her part, finished up her book, played with Shadow on the porch, ran over to clean the chicken coop, recycled the garbage, and fed and petted Toothy the cowplant; Smiler, for their part, got their garden bots Bugs and Elmer tuned up because it looked like Victor REALLY needed some help in the greenhouse. Plus we haven't used the bots in a while -- gotta get them out and about more often! Once they were done, they headed into the greenhouse to unleash the bots...

[the-stove-is-on-fire]

Time to Retcon Phantom Planet.

I took Flynn from Elmer, I'm taking PP too. 

There I was, just minding my business when an errant thought about the cursed Danny Phantom finale graced my mind. In the ep Vlad had to touch the ectoranium asteroid to realize his plan is a bust. He got his hands ON the meteor. The meteor speeding through space at a deadly pace...

So that got me thinking, If Vlad had the means to keep up with the darn thing WHY DID HE NOT SIMPLY PUSH THE METEOR OFF COURSE ??? THERE'S NO FRICTION IN SPACE HE COULD BLAST IT A BIT TO THE LEFT AND BOOM! PROBLEM SOLVED. Obviously, after that realization the only logical next step is to retcon the whole episode.

I’m going to A) rename it “Altering Course” and B) make it Vlad-centric. With the aforementioned correction, and the magic of cartoon logic, the result would be Vlad’s plan to take over the world actually working. V-man gets exactly what he wants, Jack in prison (or something, we obviously can't kill him), Maddie as his begrudging wife, Danny and Jazz as his kids and the whole world under his command.

And it SUCKS. 

Cue a montage of Vlad being hounded by world leaders asking what he's going to do about all these different problems in other countries now that he's "in charge". Being badgered by the press every possible second for statements about "what his plans are now?" Which catches him off guard because, well…. THIS was his endgame, he has no more plans. So instead of answering he goes ghost and flees. But he's not safe in the ghost zone either because now ghosts are popping up to challenge him for "the right to rule the mortal world".

After an absurdly hectic day Vlad finally makes it home to his mansion, beaten, bruised, and exhausted. "Well, at least I have my new loving family." WRONG. The whole night is full of Danny and Jazz glaring at Vlad and pranking him when they’re not avoiding him. Maddie (the human) serving him burnt, ecto-contaminated food for dinner, and pointedly sleeping on the couch. Vlad proposes they have a “family game night” and everyone leaves the room. The day ends the same as all the others before it: Vlad miserable and alone in his bed with no one but Maddie (the cat) beside him. A long, slow pan outwards from Vlad staring silently at his ceiling to emphasize the weight of his loneliness and how nothing has changed.

Hard cut to the next morning.

[BREAKING NEWS! SUPREME OVERLORD VLAD MASTERS STEPS DOWN AFTER ONE DAY OF RESPONSIBILITY. DEMANDS STATE OF WISCONSIN IN EXCHANGE FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD.]

Danny confronts Vlad after the news breaks, understandably suspicious. "So what? That's it? You got everything you wanted just to give it up after one day?" Vlad sighs, "Clearly, I bit off more than I could chew, the idea of world domination is much nicer than the reality of it." He looks at Jack and Maddie being tearfully reunited, "Power is a hollow substitute for love, it's taken me until now to realize that."

Vlad apologizes to Jack (who also apologizes for the proto-portal incident), apologizes to Maddie and the kids, and declares he’s done with scheming. Danny hesitates, but then offers to help Vlad become a hero if he wants. “I could train you, teach you everything I know. And all you'd have to do is renounce your old evil ways.” Vlad laughs upon hearing the offer he made Danny being turned back on himself. Vlad agrees and they shake on it. The ep ends on a close up of their handshake and fades to black with outro music.

I think Danny making peace with his main villain would be a great place to stop the series if it was forced to end there, but still open enough to invite another season exploring Vlad's redemption arc (and Valerie’s, since the theme of S4 would be ‘befriending your enemies’). 

Unlike PP the focus of the episode wouldn’t be on the sensationalism of “ghosts are real!??” or the disasteroid itself, but on Vlad’s personal growth. The reality of responsibility, consequences of one’s actions, and power of forgiveness. No mayor Tucker, no stranded in space Vlad, no outing Phantom to the entire world, no weird forced romance.

-

Now for your entertainment please consider these post AC headlines: 

- "Billionaire commits crimes against humanity, faces no consequences for his actions. Claims to have 'turned over a new leaf'" 

- “Half-Ghost or Half-Truth? Elaborate publicity stunt causes DALV Co stock to surge overnight” 

- “Dairy King Vlad Masters Becomes Official King of Wisconsin”

[thebrownssociety]

Across The Serververse, Chapter 10

Hey! thanks to @thatsalotoftoons and @shipping-queen-fay-blog [thank you for your nice comments, but the way] for following this story.  

*Approximately 5 and a half hours later*

“There.” Marvin removed himself from the underside of Sam’s newly-fixed car, with an of someone reaching the end of his tether. “You will not find a more ready-to-go car than that, Yosemite.”

Wile.E closed the bonnet of the car and, handing a tool of some kind to Raodie, gave a thumbs up.

The others all hopped down/stood away from the bits of the car that they were working on, revealing the whole thing in it’s shiny, gold-painted glory to Sam.

It was beautiful, the pirate thought while staring at it in amazement. It had been good before, but now it was great! The two canon muzzles that stuck out the end of the car had been modified so they were now ready to hold anything and Wile.E had done something with the amount of stuff the car could hold so it was, in a word, better.

Sam smiled and ran his hands over the paintwork. “It’s as good as new.” He said, trying not to get to emotional. “I-I don’t know how ta thank ya all.”

“You know...” Pepe said, coming over to stand next to Sam and putting his hand on the car door in what could only be described as a seductive manner. “We technically still have ze time? You could probably still run ze race if you wanted...?”

Sam gave it serious consideration, but then shook his head reluctantly. “Nah. I ah couldn’t do that. Not when we’re missing several relatives. I mean...if it all ends up coming down to the last couple of hours ah don’t wanna be thinkin’ ‘if only I hadn’t run that race!’ Ya know wha’ ah mean? Besides. The track do darn go on forever. Nah, les leave it.”

Just at that exact moment day turned into night, as it tended to do. There were no sunsets or sunrises in the serververse [unless you lived in a live-action world, such as Harry Potter] the sun just went up and down without any warning.

With a cry of alarm Bugs signalled to Marvin and the Martian sped-walked towards him with a placating: “Do not worry yourself, my furry brother, I have a torch somewhere in my hammerspa-”

“What?” Bugs looked at him like he’d lost the plot. “Oi’m not scared of de dark, Marvin. Oi scurry me little hide through pitch-black tunnels most of the time, how can I be scared of de dark? No, I want ta plan wit’ ya where we’re going next as - and you may not have noticed this - IT’S DE MIDDLE OF DE NIGHT!”

Marvin's eyes narrowed and he put his hands on his hips. “I appreciate this is a stressful time for us all, Bugs, but if you would kindly refrain from shouting at me-”

“Who’s shouting?” Bugs yelled.

Marvin’s eyes narrowed even further so they were practically one eye and he said, with dignity. “I shall attribute your attitude to both your concern about our siblings and lack of sleep. Now-” Marvin began, his tone, bearing and general attitude reminding everyone why he was in charge of a planet and they were not. “-Listen to me and listen well. We are nearly out of both water and fuel. We forgot to bring food with us, although I am willing to take responsibility for that as it is my ship, and we now have a car to transport. So I propose we go back to Warner Brothers Central for 12 hours exactly. I shall stock the ship with supplies and fill it up with fuel, Sam can take his car somewhere it won’t be a nuisance and we can all get some rest. We’ll then head straight off and decide who to get next after we all have clearer minds.” There was a pause during which Marvin looked at Bugs like he was expecting a reply.

Bugs blinked back at him, trying to process what he’d just said. His head felt foggy. He ran a hand across his forehead and smiled in what he hoped was a nice smile and not a deranged one. 

Marvin cleared his throat and said, slowly and clearly. “I propose we do that right this minute as - as you keep reminding us - time is off the essence. Is anyone against that plan?” He asked, looking round at the rest of the group.

If Bugs had been thinking clearly he’d have seen that everyone else was completely cool with Marvin’s idea, even Tweety who had been on edge for about the last 10 hours, seemed happy with it.

As he was not thinking clearly, however - far from it, he was tired, hungry, stressed and worried - Bugs said with the kind of ferocity you might expect from a wolf, should you ever meet one. “Okay, Oi get it. Ya want ta leave our family alone to fight for dere lives!” Voice rising, he spat. “Granny an’ Speedy are in ‘The Matrix’! Dey could be dead-!”

“Bugs!” Penelope cut in, with an urgent head nod at Tweety, who had gone ashen. 

Not even noticing her Bugs steamrolled on. “-Or bein’ attacked or somethin’! Sentient A.I’s who knows what damage dey cahn do! An’ Porky and Daffy are in DC World! An Lola’s dere as well! Villains! Superhero’s! Oi mean sure-” Bugs rambled, his voice becoming progressively higher-pitched as his body also started to shake. “All de times we’ve been dere it’s been fine, bit who knows now? Acid vaults! Incineration rays! Plants! That...” Here Bugs struggled  for a few seconds to find the words, then managed to grasp them. “...weird egg man...what was his name? - Humpty Dumpty! I mean-” At this point Bugs found himself unable to talk properly and made motions with his arms that, to him, represented sewing and to everyone else represented a nervous breakdown. “Oi mean...” He repeated. Slowing down now he looked at his family with wide eyes and a trembling frame, saying in a small voice. “...Oi don’t know what I mean.” Before bursting into tears. 

There was a long pause while the others tried to remember the last time they saw Bugs cry. Genuinely cry I mean, not for a cartoon or the like. Quite a while ago now...

It was Penelope who finally got enough wits about her to go and actually comfort the rabbit. Making soothing noises and reassuring him that Daffy, Porky and Lola would probably be fine as would the rest of the family, she enveloped him in a hug. 

One by one the other toons moved in and hugged Bugs as well. It took a while but eventually the rabbits breathing evened out and he started calming down. A little while longer and Bugs said, somewhat shakily. “Okay...Oi’m alright now. Jus’ lost me senses for a few minutes.”

“It’s perfectly logical.” Wile.E said, in what was meant to be a reassuring manner, but came across as lecturing. “This has been a stressful time and the human - or in your case - the rabbit mind can only deal with so much. After a short while-” 

It was at this point that Roadie elbowed his twin and held up a sign that said. ‘I don’t think he needs a lecture, Wile.E.’

Wile.E, massaging his arm, saw this and muttered something agreeable. 

“Marvin-” Bugs muttered, sounding exhausted. “-take over will ya? Oi don’t feel good.” And he sat down and put his head in his hands.

“Right.” Marvin wasted no time. “Wile.E and Roadie put Bugs up and carry him back to the ship. It’s clear the poor rabbit’s suffering a nervous breakdown of some sort. We’ll do what I said. Hopefully sleep will restore everyone’s minds. Let’s not waste any time now, Wile.E, Roadie?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, watching all this from the monitors Pete smiled [as much as a blob can smile] and dreamed about what it would be like if he could be so lucky as to be one of the ‘Looney Tunes’. He didn’t see why it couldn’t work. HIs jelly-like body was practically made for squashing under anvils....

After indulging this fantasy for more than a few minutes Pete slapped himself and started checking the other monitors.

Elmer was still fine. No change there then. Still showing a resistance to Mama’s Yak Stew and the like, but that was understandable.

Gossamer and Witch Hazel...Pete zoomed in and grimaced a little. Interesting. Very interesting. Amazing how people will change when you give them a little power...

On the bright side the guards were reacting well to Hazel. Pete had been worried about that...

Granny and Speedy...Pete zoomed in just in time for a fighting scene. Pete winced...he’d never seen a handbag used quite like that before...

Lola...still good. She was certainly improving. All that training must be paying off. 

And finally Daffy and Porky. Last time they’d been fine...

Pete zoomed in and - ah. How interesting. He leaned forward and linked his tentacles together. Really, he should have expected this. What was it Rhythm always said? There are ways round everything? How clever...

His last thoughts, before he stopped his monitoring for a few hours, was to wonder how the other toons would react to this? 

[tophthedaydreamer]

toph just saw: space jam 2: a new legacy (what a title)

here’s my thoughts. WARNING, HERE BE SPOILERS!

alrighty, i have a LOT of thoughts. i’ll start by talking abt what i liked!

i LOVE the animation ohhhhh my lord. when lebron and bugs went to pick up their friends in different worlds, i kept screaming with happiness whenever it showed the animated characters interacting with the live action. also!!!! in certain older movies, they make the animation grainer!!!!!! which makes me go jsnsdjafnsdfdsjds!!!!

my favorites were wile e. and roadrunner in mad max, yosemite in the black-and-white movie (i’m so sorry i don’t know the name, i am a failure to film culture), and granny and speedy in the matrix. i also did a double take when i saw elmer in austin powers jnedjsnfkd;g. 

i was touched by the fact that bugs was all alone. kinda pulled a spinel, huh? i really wish they spent more time on that. how long was he alone??? is?? he okay???

and everytime i saw the warners in the background i went

alright. time to talk abt what i didn’t like.

so the story feels a bit too rushed in certain parts, and a bit too slow. there surprisingly wasn’t a lot of action in the big game that got me excited. the comedy didn’t hit right for me either? like, it just. wasn’t all that funny to me. which is a darn shame since i came in really wanting to laugh and enjoy this movie (only part i did laugh at was elmer in austin powers. if you know, you know). i feel like they were really close, though! 

speaking of plot, there’s this part where it seems like bugs is gonna die. they play it super serious, and i genuinely thought he got deleted (ok when he said “we’re all back together again” my heart broke a lil). but when lebron comes back to the real world, bugs is there with him. and i can understand his statement: “i’m a toon! i can survive anything!”. and i like that he and the gang are vibing with lebron now! i wish they did that part differently, or something. idk.

i felt like they kissed lebron’s butt a bit too much. i wish air jordan had a cameo. i think they mary-sue’d lola a bit (i wish they could have called back to her iconic line “don’t ever call me doll”). where. where was penelope pussycat??? i thought she was going to be on the team! not to mention that they seriously ignored marvin, poor guy. 

and they did not come on and slam, and welcome to the jam 😔 (where’s the bomb remix?? i was promised a slappin’ remix!)

ok. that’s me thoughts. i give it a 6/10. pretty close, but not quite there. i wonder if i should see the original?

[imthecaretaker]

G/t Mech AU One-shot Go!

Sounds like a bad Power Rangers ripoff, haha. Or some kind of anime attack. Anywho, I managed to whip up a one-shot based on the G/t Mech story written by @unicornofgt ! If you haven't already, go check it out, it's pretty darn good!

Now, without further ado, here's my AU one-shot!

"Team Two, this is Base.  Reports put target at the south corner of the quarry."

Ares keyed his headset.  "Team Two copies, Base."  He smiled at his monitor's camera, linked to the video feed in his partner's helmet.  "Look alive, kiddo.  We're going hunting."

"What are we hunting?"  Carter asked as she gave a quick glance at her own camera.

"A widdle wabbit," Ares chuckled as he engaged a few switches in the cockpit and throttled up the secondary power.  "Gonna blow him to smitheweens."

The 83-foot-tall Carter Hopkins, decked in her full 'mech' armor, strode over the seven-foot fence at the northwest corner of the old slate quarry.  Her footsteps were heavy and purposeful, her boots shaking the ground and kicking up small clouds of dust.

"Team Two is in the quarry.  Going quiet," Carter reported into her comm.

"Acknowledged, Hopkins.  Your target is still in the south corner.  Good luck."

Ares sighed.  "What, no goodbye kiss for me?"  He griped to his partner.

Carter reached up and gently tapped the armored cockpit on her suit's chest.  "I'm sure Mom sends her love."

"Pft, not likely," Ares scoffed.  "Not after I fleeced her at checkers.  Told her I'd play again with my left hand.  She beat me that time, and was real happy for a few moments."

"What happened?"  Carter asked as she looked around, scanning her surroundings.

"She got mad, flipped the table, called me a clown bast- hold on, we got movement.  Target is on the move, headed toward us."

Carter tensed, ready for the encounter with their target, a Class 3 Xeno that dropped from a portal that opened over the quarry.  It hadn't made a move on the general populace yet, possibly getting its bearings still.  This was the best chance to-

"I think it knows we're here, Carter.  It's getting closer, picking up speed," Ares warned.

"I see it," she replied as she watched the red blip approach their blue blip.

With a screech, the thing came around the final corner and launched itself at the armored giant.  They collided with a solid thud, Carter being pushed back as she kicked her foot back to stay upright.

She had both hands around the creature's neck trying to hold it back.  Taking one hand away, she made a fist and punched the side of its head.  It was knocked away, but its claws had hooked on her chest plate.  She was dragged to the ground, landing on her side.  Carter quickly rolled to her back as the Xeno pounced on her, screeching in her face and scrabbling at her armor, attempting to peel her open.

"Pikachu!"  Ares bellowed as he rammed a lever forward.  The air crackled as Carter's armor was electrified with many thousands of volts.

The Xeno roared as the current ran through its body, electricity arcing over its inky-black skin.

Carter quickly pulled her knees up toward her chest, getting her boots against the creature's body, and pushed hard.  The monster was launched into the air, before painfully landing over fifty feet away.  Scrambling to her feet, Carter aimed an arm-mounted cannon at the creature.  "Fire!" she barked.

Unfortunately, the Xeno recovered quickly and managed to dodge every shot.  It scrambled around a corner where it was sheltered.  Carter pursued it.  "Nice shooting, Elmer Fudd," she remarked into her comm.

Whatever Ares' response was, Carter didn't hear.  The Xeno launched itself around the corner at the giant.  She was expecting it though, quickly raising her left fist and driving it into the monster's chest.  Dropping to one knee, she followed her target to the ground, before beginning to pummel it with both hands.

"Beat it like it owes ya money!" Ares crowed as he ramped up the suit's back-mounted power plant.

Claws scrabbling, the Xeno scratched and tried to tear at anything it could reach.  It managed to hook a hydraulic line in Carter's shoulder, snapping it with a hiss of draining fluid.

Carter's right arm grew heavier as the hydraulics began to run dry.  She'd still be able to move, but now the suit was slowing her down.  "Got a problem," she told Ares.

"Yeah, I hear the alarm," he responded, quieting the 'Hydraulic Failure' notification.

The creature knocked Carter off balance and the pair tussled before coming to rest with the giant on her back.  The Xeno roared at her again.

Suddenly Ares' voice yelled, "Dump truck, on your nine!"

Turning, Carter saw the big yellow truck sitting within arm's reach.  Snatching it up, she crashed it against the Xeno's head as hard as she could.

The monster stumbled back, disoriented.  

Carter sat up and raised her left arm.  "Fire!" she ordered.  The round flew true, hitting the creature and knocking it back.  "Fire!" she called as she got to her feet.  Every round hit home, driving the Xeno back until it hit the quarry wall.  Carter looked up.  High above was an overhang of stone.  She smiled as she took aim.  Ares needed no order this time.

* *

Carter was reclined back in her hangar berth as her armor was being removed.  The chief mechanic gave her a dirty look at the broken hydraulic hose.

Ares was leaning against the guardrail, chatting with his giant partner, when Commander Costelnock strode toward the pair, her heels clicking on the walkway.  Ares snapped to attention, which the Commander waved off.

She turned to Carter.  "Mission accomplished, Hopkins.  Pretty good fighting out there."  She glanced at the beaten armor.  "Pity you couldn't keep your armor in better shape," she said with a small twinkle in her eye.

Carter wanted to shrug, but couldn't while she was being worked on.  "Occupational hazard, ma'am."

The Commander looked between Ares and Carter.  "The bitch-slap with a dump truck was a nice touch, by the way.  A bit unorthodox, but desperate times, right?"

Ares nodded.  "Yes ma'am," he agreed.

"Oh, and Ares," the Commander continued.  "I got a phone call this morning.  Mom and dad wanted to fly out and visit next week.  You'll be there, won't you," Skyla Costelnock not-asked her brother.

Ares chewed his lip.  He hated times like this.  "Count on it, ma'am," he sighed.

Skyla smiled.  "I knew you'd pull through for your big sister."  She patted his cheek playfully before leaning in to whisper in his ear.  "And they want you to bring your special somebody," she whispered, gesturing with her eyes toward the giant watching them with a smile.

Commander Costelnock saluted the pair.  "Dismissed," she said before taking her leave.

Ares groaned, "Damnit.  Can't get out of this one.  Shit."

Seeing the engineers were done with her upper body, Carter reached out to the platform and carefully carried Ares in her palm until he was near her face.  Her short dark hair framed her face beautifully, and her whiskey-in-sunlight eyes gazed down at him.  

Ares felt his knees shake and his heart speed up.

"Don't worry, I'll be there with you.  Besides," she whispered with a smile, "I just got fitted for a new suit that I've been dying to wear."

Ares stared at his giant partner for a few moments, before collapsing in her palm with a nosebleed and a lovestruck, dopey smile on his face.

[preciouslittletoonette]

Capping it off with the Warner sister: your reasons why Dot was perfectly fine the way she was, and what got messed up with her personality in the reboot?

....I actually have some very harsh things to say about Dot. Which is actually upsetting because as I said before I love Dot. When I was 10 years old, just getting into Animaniacs, the song I sang the most was "I'm Cute". If my friends and I ever roleplayed doing some wacky things the Warners would do, I'd ask to be Dot.

Me, 10 years old going through the early stages of the cringe "I'm not like other girls" phase, wanted to be cutesy pink, feminine Dot Warner and practically fought to be her. I love Dot and I still do.

And I know Dot isn't all girly, she's pretty darn tough and very brilliant. But she was a bit of a girly girl first and foremost and honestly I didn't hate her for it. She was CUTE, it was in the original theme song which they didn't even need to change.

Dot in the reboot feels very... new wave feminist at times with how she acts (that fucking Manspreading short is at fault and you will always see me trash it no matter fucking what along with the half-ass Women's Suffragette song). And then there was that one short moment in that hunting episode where she was about to smooch that hunter before she noticed he looked very unappealing, I had to pause that moment and silently cuss out the crew for that near invisible scene because y'all won't let even Yakko and Wakko use "Hello Nurse!" as a greeting but y'all are perfectly fine with Dot about to kiss a man without his permission?! Nah man, writers and artists get your shit together and see the Warners as a unit. If the boys are not to do something like that, then neither should Dot. (And honestly if they bring back the Hello Nurse gag like how Looney Tunes Cartoons brought back Elmer's gun, I wouldn't complain).

Bleh, anyway I'm done talking about Dot now. She was a disappointment to me.

[ducktracy]

happy birthday, tex avery!

today’s an important day for every cartoon fan. 112 years ago today, tex avery was born! probably one of the biggest contributors to animation, the man responsible for bugs bunny, elmer fudd, daffy duck, droopy, screwy squirrel, chilly willy, wild animation... there’s much to celebrate.

born in texas (hence the nickname, real name frederick), tex arrived in los angeles on january 1st, 1928 to start a new career. nothing much, just menial jobs: working in a warehouse, loading fruits and vegetables at the docks, painting cars, and finally painting animation cels for the oswald cartoons. moving from the short lived winkler studio to the universal studio, he became an animator in 1930.

(courtesy of tom klein.)

perhaps his work at universal spawned the most important event in tex's career. in 1933, he and a couple of his animation buddies were horse-playing. the game: shooting a spitball with a rubber band at the backs of peoples heads, yelling “bulls eye!” if shot successfully. the game evolved from spitballs to paperclips. animator charles hastings was armed with a paperclip and had his sights set on tex. someone yelled “look out, tex!”, and tex’s initial reaction was to turn around. vision in his left eye was gone in an instant. some people attribute the lack of depth perception to tex’s unconventional, warped point of view inserted in his cartoons.

universal was proving to be a lousy job for tex. he himself admitted that he wasn’t much of an animator. “i was never too great an artist. i realized there at lantz’s that most of those fellows could draw rings around me... i thought, brother! why fight it? i’ll never make it! go the other route. and i’m glad i did. my goodness, i’ve enjoyed that a lot more than i would have enjoyed just animating scenes all my life.” he was let go in april 1935 after the quality of his work declined thanks to a lack in interest. two days later, he and his girlfriend (an inker at the studio) got hitched and honeymooned in oregon. they arrived back in hollywood in may, where tex approached leon schlesinger.

to say warner bros was short staffed in terms of directors was an understatement. ben hardaway had just left, and friz freleng and jack king were the only directors there. tex flubbed his way in, citing his experience "'hey, i’m a director'. hell! i was no more a director than nothing, but with my loud mouth, i talked him into it."

(the termite terrace crew in 1935. from left to right: virgil ross, sid sutherland, tex avery, chuck jones, and bob clampett.)

though there were few directors when tex arrived, the staff was beginning to outgrow the studio. tex and his unit (virgil ross, sid sutherland, chuck jones, and bob clampett) moved into a rickety building they unceremoniously dubbed termite terrace as a result of the termite population within the bungalow.

tex’s first directed cartoon was gold diggers of ‘49, where he borrowed friz freleng’s characters of beans, kitty, and porky from the cartoon i haven’t got a hat. while beans was beginning to have his own small series of cartoons, this marks the second ever appearance of porky and is thusly an important occurrence. if tex didn’t use him, who knows what porky’s fate would be? gold diggers beans and porky are in the heart of the gold rush. beans strikes it big (tex’s love of gag shining brilliantly already as beans pulls a slot machine lodged into the side of a mountain) and invites all of his friends to dig for more gold. porky’s bag of gold is taken away from a villain, and he bargains that if beans can get the bag back, he’s allowed to marry his daughter (kitty). beans eagerly accepts and follows the villain. what ensues is an exhilarating gunfight turned car chase, tex’s knack for speed drastically picking up the pace of the cartoon. it’s exhilarating, rushing, and brought a much needed energy to warner bros at the time. perhaps even more amusing than the chase is the payoff itself: porky gets the bag back, which isn’t gold at all, but instead a hearty sandwich.

almost right away, tex rose to the top at the studio. some of his earliest merrie melodies (which had been exclusively reserved for friz freleng prior) include page miss glory and the classic i love to singa, both beautiful cartoons in their own ways. tex now served as the model. his gags were funny, his pace was quick, his cartoons GOOD, friz freleng and eventually frank tashlin adopting the change in pace. jack king, unfortunately, wasn’t faring well with the change, and his slower, duller cartoons stuck out like a sore thumb. he returned to disney in april of 1936.

porky’s duck hunt serves as an especially important cartoon directed by tex, marking a number of firsts. it’s the cartoon debut of daffy (who is unnamed, though model sheets label him as that crazy darn fool duck), and he first time mel blanc voiced porky. porky is also considerably slimmed down. the cartoon is exactly as it sounds: porky embarks on a duck hunt, but a screwy duck prevents him from getting anything accomplished.

the cartoon itself, in comparison to tex’s others, isn’t really that special. a bunch of drunken fish hilariously singing a rendition of “moonlight bay” serves as the highlight. it’s not a bad cartoon at all, i love it a lot and it’s one of my favorites, but it IS rather repetitive, and daffy is pretty stark in personality. 75% of his dialogue is reduced to quacks. but what DOES have personality, which would shape his entire character, is a particular exit animated by bob clampett.

porky fires his gun and strikes daffy, who flops into the water. ecstatic, porky sends his dog after him. all we see is a black blob in the water, and daffy haughtily tosses the unconscious dog on the shore instead of the other way around. flummoxed, porky pulls out some paper, flipping through it and protesting “hey, that wasn’t in the script!” daffy laughs it off. “don’t let it worry ya, skipper. i’m just a crazy, darn fool duck!” with that, he gives his signature hoo-hoo laugh as he literally flips into the horizon, twirling and hopping, clicking his heels, hoo-hooing all the way along. great animation by bob clampett and definitely entertaining, and a scene that would serve as the basis for his trademark laugh and his truly daffy personality (that would begin to die down as early as 1938).

tex made a number of other good cartoons, experimenting with daffy some more and playing with porky a little more until exclusively dedicating his time to merrie melodies in friz freleng’s absence (who was at MGM). the one that truly changed looney tunes was released on july 27th, 1940, titled a wild hare.

bugs bunny had existed before tex touched him, but didn’t at the same time. he was conceived by ben “bugs” hardaway in 1938 with porky’s hare hunt. very similar to porky’s duck hunt, the screwy rabbit taunts porky and prevents him from getting a good shot. the only thing bugs has in common with his prototype self is his species and name. (he wasn’t formally called bugs then, and thanks to a false story by mel blanc where blanc referred to the prototype as “happy rabbit” fans have assumed that was his prototype name. in reality, model sheets and illustrations from picture books around 1938-1939 name him as bugs’ bunny, possessive after ben “bugs” hardaway.) bugs is portrayed as a white rabbit with a hayseed voice and woody woodpecker laugh in hare hunt, not at all the cool new yorker we know and love him as. he reappeared in a few other cartoons, still his hayseed self in hare-um scare-um and a more collected take by chuck jones in cartoons such as elmer’s candid camera and elmer’s pet rabbit. hare-um scare-um turned the previously white rabbit into a gray and white rabbit with yellow gloves.

nevertheless, tex borrowed this strange rabbit and paired him with another character of his by the name of elmer fudd. elmer’s hunting wabbits, but bugs predictably taunts him the entire time and makes his life a living nightmare. the cartoon isn’t much different than the other hunting cartoons: prey drives hunter crazy, and prey ends up winning. it’s really just a glorified porky’s hare hunt. but at the same time, it has a certain charm. this previously unappealing, obnoxious rabbit is now cool, calm, and collected. an era of cartoons dominated by screwballs like daffy is now interrupted by the opposite, a smooth talking rabbit who always wins. bugs was rather temperamental in his early 40s cartoons, much more thin skinned, abrasive, and often a downright bully, but there was still something so different about him that audiences resonated with him regardless. so, while tex isn’t the true father of bugs, he absolutely is at the same time.

many fans believe that tex left warner bros after a dispute with schlesinger pertaining to his cartoon the heckling hare. in the cartoon, bugs (as the title suggests) heckles a dimwitted dog repeatedly. at the end, the two of them end up falling off of a cliff. both bugs and the dog cling to each other, screaming all the way. the scene is LENGTHY, nearing a minute of nonstop screaming. which, of course, is the joke. to see how long the audience can stand it. however, the cartoon cuts to an end rather abruptly. evidently, bugs and the dog were going to stop, with bugs remarking “hold onto your hats, folks, here we go again!” and thusly launching into a second fall. however, the “hold onto your hats, folks!” was a rather crude joke at the time, and thusly that’s assumed how the cut came to be.

story goes that avery left the studio as a result of the censorship, which seems plausible. however, that’s not the case. tex was itching to do a series of live-action shorts, with real, live-action animals talking and cracking jokes with animated mouths. tex wanted to do it, schlesinger didn’t. tex lived out his dream at paramount for a short amount of time, and thankfully for the rest of us got some sense and moved to MGM in september 1941 to make cartoons once more.

i’ve gone on way longer than i intended, and there’s still so much to be said about tex! all of tex’s best cartoons were at MGM, no doubt. he invented droopy, red, the wolf... red hot riding hood is considered one of the greatest cartoons of all time and spawned a number of sequels starring red and the wolf. all of the great qualities of tex’s cartoons from warner bros exploded at MGM. the fourth wall breaking, the gags, the speed... he also made the iconic “tex avery take”. limbs flying off characters and super big eye bulges... they’re absolutely fantastic. there’s so much to say about tex that can’t be articulated! he’s one of my favorite directors for sure and such an important figure in animation. he deserves all the praise and respect he gets and more.

happy birthday, tex!

[mag7dumbies]

Magnificent Seven (1960) warning heavy spoilers ahead

Okay, compadres you ready? I’m leaving a few things out cause some of it just doesn’t make sense but for the most part, I didn’t leave anything out so that means there is a lot of cursing so be prepared for that

(Okay I got cookies, plans to make popcorn later and the Seven stupidest men ever about to come on my screen yeehaw mfs)

(This theme song is a bop, Elmer Bernstein is a genius)

Huh wonder who’s the bad guy, can’t be the dude in red (haha jk he’s an ass)

“I’ll be back” (what is he the Terminator)

“Stupid” well yeah the guy running at you with a machete (?) wasn’t the smartest but you didn’t have to kill him

I actually love how everyone is wearing white (like yeah I know white doesn’t absorb sun well so that’s why) it just makes everything really picturesque and almost heavenly you know

All these guys have fantastic ideas about how to take care of the problem and the head honcho is like ‘really tricking the man who just shot one of our own is not going to work don’t be stupid’

“Let's go ask the old man” we about to get Godfather in this bitch

(It was a machete hell yeah I knew it)

“Buy guns?” “Go to the border guns are plentiful there” Dude that hurts but it’s very very true

(There are so many parallels to the pilot I love it)

We getting racist in this bitch and in rides, Chris like the suicidal idiot he is and Vin is just like I’ll help you go bury an Indian who deserves proper respects like the man we know and love (ugh love this)

Literally used his boot to light a match, Chris stop being extra

And the whole town is following them like it’s the best thing to happen since… I don’t know a herd of cows came through town… (Man aren’t we lucky for the internet)

Love how the second Vin hears a slur Chris is like hold your horses buckaroo it’s just the wind (cause apparently the wind is racist all of a sudden)

Who is this person following them like a puppy (Jd anyone, although I know that’s not his name in the movie but he sure is acting like it)

Well, the graveyard scene left two people bleeding and no other corpses than the one they started with. Larabee, Tanner, and Jackson should take notes

“We think you’re a man we can trust” Bitch I wouldn’t trust Chris as far as I can throw him (I love him but the boy doesn’t have a great track record)

What’s with the fuchsia bag did they even have fuchsia back then? (Apparently fuchsia came to America in 1892 so I don’t know)

“Every man wears a gun” “Sure, like wearing pants, its expected” good lord Chris

What kind of clapping game is this

I really don’t understand Craps 

These guys are just mocking Vin about going to work at a grocery store and I’m living for it

And Chris you got three including yourself, Harry and Vin learn to count idiot

Those two just get off their horses with such grace I could watch that 100 times and still be entranced  

“I heard you’re broke” “Nah I’m doing this because I’m an eccentric millionaire” (Good lord O’Reilly, he is now a new fave of mine)

What the fuck is up with Chris’s hips like why is he swaggering like some hotshot

And if O’Reilly is so expensive what the fuck did he do with the money to make him end up dirt poor and cutting wood

Britt has the longest, lankiest legs I have seen on a man in a very long time

What game were they playing bullets are expensive stop messing around

Oh no the kid’s drunk and mad wonder what the hell he’s gonna do (probably something stupid)

This bitch with his wacky accent I can’t take him seriously, he just needs to chill

Okay I didn’t mean for you to collapse

Chris just fucking left him on the floor good lord

Okay everyone needs to dial the sass from 150 to a nice steady 50 cause damn

The kid is so so stupid, and Harry is just as worried about him as Buck was it's sweet

“What a chucklehead” (good lord I feel that)

Wtf the kid just caught a fish with his bare hands (that might take him out of the running for being Jd who couldn’t catch a fish even if it was handed to him)

Okay the TV show is just full of idiots, the movie makes them out to be brilliant assholes and I don’t know which one I prefer

Okay who names their child Hilario like that just isn’t right (like it’s fine but it’s too close to hilarious for me to take it seriously)

The kid is such a fucking ass, can someone shoot him for me like fuck

(Guys just to keep you in the loop I’m not even an hour in)

Look its Lanky legs Mcgee (aka Britta filter aka Britt)

The kid needs a baby sitter

Surprise surprise the kid did something stupid, (no really I’m shocked, not)

Kid, don’t do it I know it’s a bull and bulls are cool but don’t be fucking stupid playing bullfighter

Kid, she did not try to take your eye out she just slapped you (well deserved I might add) and what do you mean you’ll bite back what are you doing

WTF KIDDO WILL YOU QUIT AND DRINK SOME RESPECTING WOMEN JUICE

She’s wearing pants- is that accurate

Vin is sipping that juice like a good boy 

The boys are so sweet and it makes me emotional

The old guy is gonna die isn’t he

Here we go ya’ll it’s about to get serious 

Seriously don’t throw a hissy fit cause Chris tells you to go away

Love that the guns seem authentic (makes me happy)

(Plus the horse actors are doing fantastic the trainers should be proud)

Kid what are you doing, that’s a good way to accidentally step on your hat

Oh fuck here we go again

Chico is literally going to get shot if he isn’t careful (Chico is the kid btw)

Oh God I love these kids “if you get killed we’ll avenge you and put fresh flowers on your grave” plus they drew straws (how is that not just the best thing you’ve ever heard)

Chico, the girl obviously likes you (don’t know why, you’re an idiot, but extremely cute just saying)

(I fucking HATE the new hat it fills me with rage)

Wait a diddly darn minute did Chico just infiltrate the gang with that stupid hat

Awww my poor boy nightmares are the worst

O’Reilly is such a Dad and I love him

Harry will you quit before Chris kills you or I do it myself

This better be the last time cause lord I just wanna see him dead

Chris looks like he’s gonna whack a bitch when Calvera says he’ll give him a pardon

Oh no Chico is gonna do something idiotic- thank god Chris is there

O’Reilly is adorable- and has some goddamn sense and is willing to use violence (spanking of minors which I don’t exactly approve of) to show that being a gunhand is coward’s work

 “In Texas, only Texans can rob banks” wow did he just call our government and the whole state of Texas racist (yes I think he did)

Chico has some issues that he needs to see a therapist for (guess Chris will do though he needs about as much counseling)

By the way, Lee is the future Judge Travis if you guys didn’t know (Thank you Amazon- you might be all kinds of crap but hey at least you are informative) 

Harry you dirty rotten coward

Here we go once more, my dudes

Vin get yourself taken care of and go home- 

Harry that wasn’t helpful at all 

Why is everyone getting hurt all of a sudden 

Chris don’t lie to him it makes me feel bad

And stop breaking glass it’s hella expensive

Lee you stupid son of a bitch

This is a blood bath I don’t like it

 Britta Filter NOOOOOOOOOOOO

I DON’T LIKE THIS GAME ANYMORE I DON’T LIKE THIS I DON’T LIKE THIS I DON’T LIKE THIS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The old man lives wtf (I’m glad don’t get me wrong, but it still hurts my soul)

Three lived I don’t like this,

 Chico, I swear to God you and her’s kids are gonna be adorable don’t fuck this up

Everything hurts 

Well I’m in extreme emotional distress but you know I think I’ll be okay, now before we start with the show I gotta go water some plants- may be using my tears cause ow wasn’t expecting that ending

[ask-the-chan-family]

Dashie orcadragon worldwide hero series

Somewhere in back area by the main vault at the Xuden City third national bank, several gang members from the Mask Adean Condor Clan were busy moving some cash from the main Vault, and carrying them through a hole they created from the side of the bank. While the rest of them were busy with the loot, two of the remaining security guards were hiding behind a desk, making sure that none of the gang members see them. One of the security guards were using their cellphone to see if they can call for backup, while the other keep an eye on the gang members, and see what they doing next. Frank: any luck on calling for backup? Finn: not yet, I been trying to reach the security room, but most of our guys are already dead. I even try to call the police station, but I think they using some sort of tech to block our calls. Frank: well that just great then. We have no backup, and we're the only two that can stop these guys. Finn: I say we just sneak out of here, before one of them spot us. Frank: not a chance, Finn. Once you become a security guard, your main mission is to stop the crooks. Finn: I only sign up for the benefit, not risking my life to a bunch of loser gang. Mysterious voice: bunch of loser gang you say. Well then, I guess this loser here have to show you guys, that we mean business. Finn, and Frank were both scared knowing that one of the gang members were standing behind the desk they were hiding. Before one of them try to grab their guns, Frank was caught by his shirt collar and grub up from the floor. Frank's legs were moving a lot, trying to break free from the gang member clutches. Finn try to see if he can help him, but soon he know it, Finn heard a snap noise in the air, and Frank’s legs stopped moving. Finn was puzzle of what happened to Frank, but part of him already know what cruel faith he was in. Finn see Frank body fell to the ground like a rag doll, not making any other movement at all. Finn was shocked to see Frank neck was twisted in a weird way, which nearly made him wet himself. While Finn was busy looking at his formal partner, the gang member whistled to the security guard, gaining his attention. Finn look and notice a bulk up horse with a Gatling gun for an arm, was busy starring at the guard, waiting for the right moment to attack. Out of fear, Finn got up from the floor, and try to run down the other side of the hallway. The horse gang member look at the guard, and gave him a moment to run a good distance. After waiting for a bit, he held out his Gatling gun arm, and shot a couple of bullets, which ended the guard life. The horse laugh to himself, knowing that he enjoyed doing that. Before he can laughed even further, the horse gang member was cut off, when he senses a familiar hiss behind him. He turned around and saw a female Naga snake with robotic claws, was starring with a disappointed look in her eyes. The horse gang member nervously smiled, and say some compliments words to her. Derby Lincoln: hey, Madyson, how my beautiful Naga girl is doing? Madyson Mad Eye: I would have been fine, if it wasn't my boyfriend being a total idiot. Derby Lincoln: what are you talking about, Madyson, what sort of thing you think was wrong? Madyson Mad Eye: you killed the only two hostages we could use in case the cops get here. I told you a thousand time to hold back from killing anyone, before we were done with the vault. Derby Lincoln: okay, okay, I made one tiny mistake. But there is no way that the police going to be here soon. Your brother not only a good locksmith, but a great hacker too. We be gone by the time they get here. Madyson Mad Eye: ....... Sigh, you’re lucky that your cute, Derby, or I would have cut something very important to you, and it not going to be your tail. Derby Lincoln knew what she meant, which force him to close his leg from getting hurt. Madyson smirks a little, knowing that her boyfriend Derby understood her. She slithered away, and head back to the Vault. Inside the Vault, most of the gangs were gathering up some cash, and getting out of there. At the back area of the Vault, a male raven with robotic arms was busy trying to hack through a special lock, that protecting a priceless statue. A big guy who happened to be the leader of the group, was standing behind the male raven, waiting patiently for him to do his work. Strickler Joe: are you done yet working on that thing. Elmer Mad Eye: ever heard a saying, never bother an artist while working on their master piece. Strickler Joe: what master piece. All you’re doing is opening up that glass vault. Elmer Mad Eye: well this glass vault is extremely sensitive. They place it in a special security lock that separates from the main one. It going to take time for me to separate the wire, and cut out from the alarms. Strickler Joe: then work faster. The sooner you get that thing open, the quicker we can get out of here. Elmer Mad Eye: I got it already. Still don't get why you want us to steal this statue in the first place. We got the cash, why we need this thing. Strickler Joe: because, we got orders from the head boss to steal that statue. He didn't gave me the full details, but his only care about getting it. Elmer Mad Eye: whatever you say then. Still kind of lame excuse to have it though. Madyson Mad Eye: much lamer that my older brother working like a slow turtle. Elmer and Strickler look and notice that Madyson slither inside the vault. Elmer relief that his sister came back, and ask her if things alright. Elmer Mad Eye: well it about time you got your snake butt back in here. Madyson Mad Eye: sorry for being late, apparently Derby Lincoln done something stupid again. Elmer Mad Eye: let me guess, your boyfriend killed off the last remaining guards that we could use as hostages. Madyson Mad Eye: you do know I hated you being right. Elmer Mad Eye: I sometimes hate being right. But it look like we won't have any hostages, in case the police get here. Strickler Joe: don't worry about it. Even if the police get here *he move his robotic gun up in the air* we will blast them for fun * he laugh* Elmer Mad Eye: ..... Sigh, that the last thing we need right now. Madyson Mad Eye: don't worry about it brother. The security system are still offline, they won't be here for some time. But I do suggest we hurry up, and get out of here. Strickler Joe: we will pretty soon, until your brother get that darn thing. Before he got a chance to end his sentence, Strickler overheard a click noise, which was coming right behind him. Strickler and Madyson looked and notice that Elmer was able to get the statue out from the glass. Elmer present the statue to Strickler, letting him know that the job was done. Elmer Mad Eye: as per usual, I make this job too easy. Strickler Joe: *he grab the statue* well it about time you got the thing. For a minute there, I thought I have to do something stupid by breaking the glass myself. Elmer Mad Eye: well luckily for I was here to do the job right. Madyson Mad Eye: what should we do now, since we got the statue? Strickler Joe: what else, we get the heck out of here. I'll get the others to lease, while you two make sure to let Sonya Lynch know that we got the job done. Madyson Mad Eye: you can count on us sir. Elmer Mad Eye: no doubt about it. Strickler Joe nodded to them, and head for the rest of the gang, to let them know that they going to leave. Elmer face change after finally seeing him gone. Elmer Mad Eye: about time that loser is gone. Madyson Mad Eye: easy, brother. We can't let our cover blown just yet. Elmer Mad Eye: I know that, but if I have to hear that blow heart voice again, I would easily shove my hand straight to his. Madyson Mad Eye: hey! You do know I'm standing right here. Elmer Mad Eye: oh don't even try sis, or you want me to tell everyone about your fun time you had with. Madyson Mad Eye: *she blush* you promise that you won't bring that up. Elmer Mad Eye: I promise many things. Madyson Mad Eye: humph Elmer Mad Eye: any case, were you able to call her, to let her know that we are heading back to the hideout? Madyson Mad Eye: of course I did. I called her from our private phone, and she going to be there with her team in a little while. Elmer Mad Eye: don't get it why she can't come here, and end their lives. Madyson Mad Eye: you know she doesn't want any witnesses. She wanted to arrest most of them at a location where there no way for anyone to escape. Elmer Mad Eye: I get it, I get it. At least we did our end and get a breather for a little while. Madyson Mad Eye: you sure you don't want to join them? Elmer Mad Eye: no thank you. We head for a place to eat, and wait out for her to do clean up. Knowing me, that place going to be filled with blood soon you know it. Madyson Mad Eye: what make you say that? Elmer Mad Eye: the person we are working for is a Redfield, and Ness Redfield is the eldest daughter of the family. She someone you don't want to mess with. Especially when it comes with the family reputation. Miles away from Xuden City third National Bank. Somewhere inside the main hallway of the S.T.A.W.S agency, a simple butler name Jarvis was busy dusting off the main desk by the entrance area. Jarvis always keep the agency clean, and. make sure that everything was in order. While he was dusty off some pictures, he over heard a noise that catch his attention. He look at his cyber female hybrid mouse wolf, was try to carry a large couch from the ground, so she can clean the dirt area. Jarvis sigh to himself, knowing that she was going to break one of her gears doing that. He call out her name, so she can try to be more extra careful. Jarvis: N.I.V.A. how many time I told you not to lift heavy objects. Your body isn't set up right to do that. N.I.V.A.: I know you told me that about 389.6 time, but my main program is to make sure this place is clean at every corner *she drop the couch on the side of the ground* this spot haven't been cleaned up for nearly several months. *her hand transformed into a laser* I'll clean this spot with a high laser. Jarvis: hold on a second, you don't need to *he stop when he heard a blast noise* that. N.I.V.A.: area is cleared from dust. Ready for next task. Jarvis: Sigh, very well. How about head for the storage area, and make sure that we have everything. N.I.V.A.: affirmative, I'll go at once. N.I.V.A. walk down the hallway, heading for the storage room. Jarvis look at the mess N.I.V.A made, which he had to clean up on his own. Jarvis had no issues with N.I.V.A. ever since Dr. Lina Viper decommissioned her from future spy mission, Jarvis had her doing maid duties with her instead. Course, Jarvis still had to deal with some minor things with her programs. When, Jarvis was about to push the couch, the front door of the S.T.A.W.S agency was wide open. By the door, Valo Fox Gears was running down the hallway, knowing that he was going to be late for work. Before he gone further, he accidentally trip over the couch, and safe landed on the cushion. Jarvis look over the couch, and see that Valo was sitting there. Jarvis: oh! It good to see you to stop by, and had a seat Master Valo. Valo Fox Gears: well it good to see you too. Who bright idea to move the couch in the middle of the hallway. Jarvis: that would be N.I.V.A. don't mind it too much, her programming still need some work. Valo fox Gears: I see if I can talk to Dr. Viper to check up on her. Jarvis: speaking of Dr. Viper. Lady Talon and Dr. Viper are both waiting for you, at the training facility. Valo fox Gears: why they need me there for? Jarvis: the Mayor of Xuden city is visiting today, and they want to see the new spy in action. Valo fox Gears: oh I see. I'm guessing the Mayor isn't too fond of what we do here. Jarvis: the S.T.A.W.S agency main purpose is to check any strange activity that might harm Xuden. The Mayor see us as an extra backup to deal with real crime, but that sort of the job for the police. Valo Fox Gears: true, but even the police force are understaffed, and we can't be their back up for every little problem. Jarvis: indeed, but since we are getting fund from them, we have no other choice in the matter. Valo Fox Gears: sigh, fair enough. So what my aunt want me to do anyway. Mysterious voice: Commander Talon Gears want you to fight against that experiment at the training ground, and show them how it works. Valo look at the other side of the hallway, and saw a female Dalmatian in a red jumpsuit, standing a few feet from him. Valo wasn't happy to see her, but relief it wasn't her aunt to nag him instead. Valo Fox Gears: hello Agent K9. I should have guess that the Mayor was going to visit here, you would be here too. Delilah Redfield: well you know that I got to be here, Valo. If the Mayor stop by, I have to be extra security for any kind of trouble. Valo Fox Gears: but does she travel with one of her sisters, Elizabeth Redfield. Since she is her secretary/bodyguard. Delilah Redfield: she will be, but since both they are my aunts, I have to be there for security reasons. Valo fox Gears: oh yeah, I nearly forgot. You’re a Redfield like them. Valo try to walk pass her, but Delilah held her hand out, and stop him from going any further. Delilah Redfield: look, Valo. I know you have a personal grudge against my family, for what happened to yours. Not all of us are criminals, we care about protecting this city, and the people who live in it. Valo fox Gears: I know that, Delilah. You not like your family, but you still carry the Redfield name. Valo removed Delilah hand, and continued walking down the hallway. Delilah know what her last name mean some hardships to him, knowing that her family history show nothing more, but bloodshed. Jarvis stood by Delilah side, doing his best to comfort her. Jarvis: don't mind him, Miss Redfield. He been that way since his family was murdered by that Lynch fellow. Your family try to regain the reputation, but still plenty of work to be done. Delilah Redfield: ..... Yeah Inside the training facility, Talon, and Dr. Lina Viper were having a conversation with the Mayor, and her secretary, talking about the agency management, and the research on their spy work. Mayor Mona Redfield look through some of the paperwork they gave out, but so far haven't seen anything that caught her interest. Elizabeth Redfield however was listing to Dr. Lina Viper lecture of the research she is working. Dr. Lina Viper: and once we got the information we needed, we made sure that our research team send all data to the proper agent's, and get the job done. Now, is there any question? Mayor Mona Redfield: I have one, are we meant to see one of your top secret spy agent that we were meant to see today. Dr. Lina Viper: oh yeah, I nearly forgot to show you guys that. Elizabeth Redfield: please don't tell us that your special spy agent isn't ready? Dr. Lina Viper: oh it ready, we are waiting for someone to get here soon. Mayor Mona Redfield: and who that someone you have to wait for? Talon Gears: it my nephew, Valo fox Gears. He a medical mechanic for the agency, but one of the best agents that we got. Mayor Mona Redfield: Valo you say. Why that name sound familiar. Elizabeth Redfield: he's the only survivor from the Gears Family massacre. Talon Gears: yes, that massacre, which your brother murdered my family. Mayor Mona Redfield: now see here, we already condemn Lynch Redfield for what he did. Our father banished him from the family, and never be heard of again. Talon Gears: but still the same, your family killed mine, but since we need each other to protect the city, we willing to look the other way ... for now. Elizabeth Redfield: humph, now I see why your sister see you the responsible one. Talon Gears: responsible enough from doing something stupid. Elizabeth Redfield: *she glare at Talon with her one good eye* do you want to settle this? Talon Gears: I’m always game. Dr. Lina Viper: hold it you two. Nobody going to fight, except the experiment. Mayor Mona Redfield: that be something to see, if this Valo fox Gears get here. Just when she said those words, the door from the other side of the room finally open. From there stand Valo fox Gears. Valo pant a little, after running down the hallway. Once he regained his breath, he look up, and saw everyone was staring at him. Valo smiles a bit, and apologize to them for being late. Valo fox Gears: sorry everyone, was running a little late this morning. Dr. Lina Viper: dang it, Valo. Do you have any idea how late you are? Valo fox Gears: I'm only a half an hour late, Dr. Viper. Dr. Lina Viper: don't be a wise guy, Valo. You live a lot longer. Talon Gears: just leave him be, Viper. We still under a tight schedule, and want to get this presentation on the move. Valo fox Gears: good to see you, Aunt Talon. Talon Gears: good to see you too, Valo. Now that your here, I want to introduce you Mayor Mona Redfield and Secretary Elizabeth Redfield. Valo fox Gears: oh yeah, the two sisters from the murdering family. It nice to meet you both. Dr. Lina Viper: *she hit him on the hard* Valo, take it easy with that. Valo fox Gears: sorry, but it true what I said. Mayor Mona Redfield: it alright, we know what our family are, and not afraid about it. But we are not here to talk about our family history. Elizabeth Redfield: we came here to see if this super spy of yours, is ready enough to be use on the field. Dr. Lina Viper: oh don't worry, ORCA-D 13 is most definitely ready to go on a field test. We just going to give you a demonstration of how she fight first. Elizabeth Redfield: and I'm guessing Valo will be fighting it. Valo fox Gears: come again. Dr. Lina Viper: *she laugh nervously* sorry, let me talk to, Valo for a moment. What the matter, don't tell me you’re not Interested on doing this? Valo fox Gears: I am, but a little bit annoyed that neither you, or my aunt told me that I'm going to face an ORCA-D Dr. Lina Viper: I know you have a soft side for the ORCA-D experiments, but 13 is ready for a field test, and it willing to do it, if you was there to fight it. Valo fox Gears: .... I don't know Dr. Lina Viper: if you don't do this for me, I'll hunt you down, and have my fun with your Valo fox Gears: alright, I do it. Just don't day another word. Dr. Lina Viper: I'm glad you see thing my way. Now then, let go forward with the test. After accepting Dr. Lina threats, Valo head for the training ground, and prepare himself for battle. Everyone were at the control room, so they can see the event. Valo have his gloves on, making sure they were tight. He could have his other items for the battle, but since Dr. Lina told him not to use it, making it a lot harder. Valo sigh to himself that he going to have a lot of talk with her. Valo look around to see where the ORCA-D should be. All he see so far is a plain mat, with a pool that wrap around the ring. Valo scratch, wondering if the experiment could be late. While ponder to see if the ORCA-D is nearby, Valo heard a splash noise that caught his attention, which made him look to see what going on. Valo notice a puddle on the floor that was an inch nearby the pool. Valo figure that ORCA-D must the came out from there, question is.... where did the ORCA-D went. Before he got a chance to look, his ears were picking up something in the air, letting him know that someone was behind him. Valo turned and saw an eight feet tall giant female Orcadragon in a spy wet-flight suit was about to attack Valo, with their fist. Valo was able to dodge the ORCA-D attack, but jump a few inches more when the ORCA-D fist smashed the ground. Valo was shock seeing how strong the ORCA-D was, part of him would have brought his syringe, and use his abilities. Inside the control room, Elizabeth and Mayor Mona Redfield were both empress of the ORCA-D speed, and strength. Dr. Lina Viper start explaining about ORCA-D 13 Dr. Lina Viper: as you can see, ORCA-D 13 is one of my latest creations for the perfect super spy. She was able inflated the training ground by water, and sneak up behind Valo without him knowing she was there. Mayor Mona Redfield: empress, and how strong is she exactly, which she was able to damage the field like that? Dr. Lina Viper: she up a special DNA and special enhancement to her body, which allow her to have incredible strength. She ten time stronger, and faster than any agent we got. Elizabeth Redfield: and you have your medical mechanic to face a lethal weapon. Talon Gears: Valo is a lot stronger than you think. Just watch and see. Elizabeth and Mayor Mona both continued watching, and see more of the training session. Valo fox Gears was relief that he was able to miss that attack, but still shock of what happened. He look at the ORCA-D and examine her a bit further. He notice that she was wearing a special helmet to cover most of her face, which make it harder to see who she is. Valo also notice the size of her body, being so thick, that she was fast enough to get behind him. Valo knew that he can't rest now, since he got to be ready to give everything he got. Valo notice that the orcadragon was on all four, waiting for a right moment to strike. Valo had no clue what the orcadragon is up to, but he had to make a move. He ran towards the orcadragon to make a first strike, but out of surprised that she was able to dodge it without a problem, which he guessing her speed is good. Valo stop for a second, trying to figure out another method to take her down. But ORCA-D didn't hesitate, and use her speed to get behind Valo again. This time Valo was able to see, and try to dodge another attack. While he miss her fist, Valo didn't notice that she was using her tail to grab his body, and then lift him off from the ground. Valo try his best to. Real free, but her grief was too strong. The ORCA-D move him closer to get a better look. She start to sniff Valo, gaining some scent from him. Valo hold his breath, smelling some morning breath from breakfast she eat. When she was done, ORCA-D toss, Valo to the ground, and then ran towards the pool. Valo had no clue what going on, but he figure that he need something in order to defeat her. Back inside the control room, Mayor Mona Redfield was impressed with their performance, but was more interested of how good Valo fought in battle. She secretly talk to her sister Elizabeth Redfield, to see if the fight was being recorded. Mayor Mona Redfield: Elizabeth, is this training session being recorded? Elizabeth Redfield: of course it is, why are you asking? Mayor Mona Redfield: oh nothing really, I just want to have some proper footage of Valo, and the experiment. Elizabeth Redfield: proper footage...... Oh Mona! Not that again. Mayor Mona Redfield: what do you mean that again? Elizabeth Redfield: you know what I mean. You always been asking footage of him train, each time we pass by here. Mayor Mona Redfield: *she blush* it not like that. I'm just curious to see how good he is, that all to it. Elizabeth Redfield: really! Then if that the case, do you want me to bring the footage to your personal? Mayor Mona Redfield: *she blush more* yes please. Talon Gears: are you two alright? Elizabeth Redfield: we're fine, just talking about work. We just curious to see what the ORCA-D is doing hiding, while she had him on the ropes. Dr. Lina Viper: ORCA-D prime objective is to infiltrate to gather information, and escape. Right now, ORCA-D was able to gain some information on Valo using her scent of smell. She going to have an upper hand of defeating him. Mayor Mona Redfield: I see, we’ll let hope Valo can stop her. Back at the training ground, Valo fox Gears was looking around by the pool to see where the orcadragon went. Since the pool was deep, she could be anywhere by now. While he was occupied looking for her, ORCA-D appeared from the other side of the, and silently climbed out. She notice that Valo wasn't paying much attention to her, which give the ORCA-D the opportunity to strike. She started to crawl all four, carefully not to make any noises. Once she reach up to him, the ORCA-D was about to make a strike, Valo was able to dodge her attack. ORCA-D look to see where Valo had went, she paused for a moment, when she heard a whistling that was coming right behind her. ORCA-D turned around, and saw Valo standing right behind her. ORCA-D was about to get him, but Valo was able to push her, which she fell face flat on the pool surface. Inside the control room, everyone were making faces, seeing how ORCA-D face flat on the pool. Dr. Lina Viper face palm herself knowing that she going to do more training session with her. Elizabeth and Mayor Mona Redfield both clap their hand, and were empress with the presentation. Mayor Mona Redfield: that sure was interesting presentation, wasn't it Elizabeth. Elizabeth Redfield: it was good, could have been a little better from that little incident. But other than that, I enjoy it. Talon Gears: that good to hear. So do we still have our agreement to keep the S.T.A.W.S agency funding keep on going? Mayor Mona Redfield: of course, the Xuden City mayor office will continue funding your agency. Elizabeth Redfield: just make sure that the experiment is ready for any future mission. Dr. Lina Viper: don't worry, ORCA-D 13 will be ready for any infiltration missions in no time. Right after I check on it, and make sure it didn't get damaged. Back at the training ground, Valo look at the area, and see that ORCA-D was floating a bit, until it was able to gain conscious, and move it body. Valo was relief that the ORCA-D was, and not hurt at all. He saw her start swimming towards the edge and jump out from the pool. Valo walk up to ORCA-D and see if she was doing alright. Valo fox Gears: hey there, are you doing alright. That was quite a fall you taken. ORCA-D 13: I should be fine, that type of fall wouldn't hurt me that much. But I'm sorry that I screw up the presentation. Valo fox Gears: don't worry too much about it. They only here to see if you can fight very well, and so far you done a great job. ORCA-D 13: *she blush* you, you really think so? Valo fox Gears: of course. You was able to sneak up behind me, without making a lot of noises. You got some talent, and hope you do well on the field. ORCA-D 13: thank you Mr. Valo sir, I just hope they do have me out of the field one day. Valo fox Gears: trust me, they most..... Hold on a second, how did you know my name? ORCA-D 13: .... Um, Dr. Viper told me. Valo fox Gears: that would be true, but Lina never said about telling you my name yet. ORCA-D 13: then what about your aunt Talon who told me about your name. Valo fox Gears: yeah you could be *he pause once more, after hearing a certain line* alright, exactly who are you? ORCA-D 13: what do you mean? Valo fox Gears: not many people know that Commander Talon aunty Talon, except my sister, and cousin. ORCA-D 13: ..... Valo fox Gears: alright, you best tell me who you are, before I decided to find out the hard way. ORCA-D 13 knew that her cover was blown, and she had no other choice to show who she really is. She unbuckle the strap around her neck, and slowly removed the helmet that was on her head. Valo was able to see more of her hair, but ORCA-D was still facing the other way. ORCA-D turn around slowly, and finally reveal her true face to him. Valo look at her for a moment, trying to figure out who she was. ORCA-D stood quite for a moment, but said something to him that might help him remember. ORCA-D 13: here my face, don't you recognize me? Valo fox Gears: part of me feel like I do, but you look like someone I once knew long time ago. ORCA-D 13: like a young, and scared orcadragon, who you saved her life from being burnt from the fire. Valo fox Gears: ..... No Way! Little Orci, is that really? ORCA-D 13: *she smile* yeah, that me alright. But I'm not that little anymore. Valo was shock to see the little orcadragon that usually follow him around, now into a very tall adult dragon. ORCA-D kneel down a bit, so she have a better view of Valo, and have a quick conversation, before she had to go. ORCA-D 13: it really good to see you, Valo. I never would thought I ever to see again. Valo fox Gears: my thoughts exactly. When Dr. Viper told me that you was going through a lot of test, I thought they going to take you to another science lab. ORCA-D 13: I sort of did gone through a lot of test, but the test Dr. Viper had me go through was somebody enchantment. Dr. Lina Viper had me a test chamber, where she added some enhancements into my body. She even age progress me, so I can be a full flesh agent. Valo fox Gears: wait a second. You telling me that Dr. Viper did some crazy enhancement on you, and age progress your body as well. ORCA-D 13: that right. I have a teen mind, stuck in an adult body. Valo sigh to himself, knowing that this going to be one of those days. End of part 2 of episode 1

[a-writers-writing]

How It Began

A/N: yall miss me? ever since i left the newsies fandom, this blog has been kinda dead. ive been writing a lot more stuff for myself but not feeling thats its been good enough to post here. WELL im starting to get back into newsies because fuck i really miss some parts of this fandom... but im back!!! hell yeah!!! enjoy this!!!!! yall really better get used to pigeon of you arent already cuz that boy still is my #1 character.... also hey hes not. a self insert anymore hes his own darn character. any italian might be wrong bc im a dumb american and have to use google translate

How Oliver Fitzgerald came to be Pigeon the Manhattan newsie

Not edited 

Mid winter was hell for any kid living on the streets. Harsh wind cut through thin clothes like a newly sharpened knife.

It was even worse if you were running as fast as you could, slipping on ice as you tried to find an alleyway to tuck into. This was currently the case for Oliver. He had only been in New York for a few days after he ran away from home, but had already found himself in trouble. The other street kids in Brooklyn didn’t take too kind to him and now, in Manhattan, he had gotten tangled up with the Delancey brothers. They had asked him questions he was unable to answer, as he could barely speak English. When he gave a muttered reply in Italian, they battered on the insults. Oliver ran away, but the brothers refused to let him get away.

Luckily he was smaller and faster than both of them, making for an easy escape even as they chased him. By the time he had found a place to duck away he was out of breath and exhausted. He could hear their yells in the distance, but instead of continuing to run, he sat on the ground with his knees to his chest and slowly slipped to sleep.

Oliver didn’t know how long he was asleep for, but it couldn’t have been long if the dusting of snow on his shoulders gave anything away. He slowly lifted his head from where it was tucked into his arms to inspect what had awoken him.

A boy was kneeling in front of him, worry etched on his face. There was a slingshot tucked into his waistband and he was removing the light jacket that he wore. “You’se awake, thank God. I thought you had frozen ta’ death.”

Oliver furrowed his brow and leaned away from him. Who was this boy? Oliver had never seen him or met him, so why was he being so nice?

The boy noticed this and softened. “I ain’t gonna hurt you, kid. You’se okay. Here.” He held out his jacket for Oliver, who just eyed it cautiously. “You’se gonna become a kid-sicle if you don’t take it.”

Oliver reached out with a shaking hand and took it, then wrapped it around himself. It didn’t provide much warmth, but it was better than nothing.

“Can you walk? You ain’t hurt or nothin’, right?” Finch stood, offering his hand to the small boy.

Pidge took his hand and slowly brought himself to his feet, though his legs were like jelly and the soles of his feet ached. He braced himself against the wall, eyes shut as he fought through the pain.

“You really ain’t lookin’ too good… Here, get on my back. I ain’t gonna drop you or nothin’, just bring you somewhere safe. You can trust me, kid.” Finch knelt down again so Oliver could get on his back. After a minute, Oliver gave in.

Finch lifted him easily, arms looped securely under Oliver’s legs while Oliver wrapped his arms around Finch’s shoulders.

“So you got a name, kid?” Finch asked. He felt Oliver shake his head and nodded. “That’s okay, we’se gonna find you one then. There’s gonna be a lotta other guys at the lodge, just a warnin’. I know a few new kids ain’t too fond of a lotta people around. I’ll make sure they give you some space.” Finch continued to ramble, not even noticing Oliver had fallen asleep.

The noise in the lodge is what woke him again. Yelling and laughter caused him to hide his face in Finch’s shoulder, his grip on his shirt tightening.

Finch tried his best to look at Oliver and adjusted him slightly. “You’se okay, don’t worry. They ain’t gonna hurt you,” he whispered.

“Who’s ya’ new friend, Finch?” Elmer called over. The attention of the room shifted and suddenly grew quiet.

“Found ‘im nearly frozen to death afta’ I finished sellin’.” Finch looked back at Oliver before looking back to the group. “He’s kinda skittish an’ don’t talk. Ain’t got a name, either.” The group nodded, a few eyes lingering on Oliver. “I figure he’ll take my bed an’ I can teach ‘im the ropes a’ sellin’.”

Slowly the group went back to their activities, though they were much quieter now. Finch carried Oliver upstairs and to his bunk. There, he carefully set the smaller boy down. “They ain’t too bad, huh? You’ll get used to them pretty quick.”

Oliver nodded and took off Finch’s coat, handing it back to him. He was still shivering, but not as much as before.

“How ‘bout you keep this on ‘til we find you some new clothes. Can’t have you freezin’ out on me yet.” Finch smiled and wrapped the jacket around him again. “I’se gonna be right back. I think Romeo might have somethin’ ‘round your size. Stay here.” He gently patted Oliver’s hair before starting out of the room.

Oliver pulled his knees to his chest and looked around the empty room, a pang of anxiety sending chills down his spine. He knew Finch said he would back, but what if he didn’t? What if he was trapped somewhere he’d never been with a bunch of boys he’s never met that were all so loud and rowdy? He stood and headed to the window, looking out to the street below and picking at a string on the jacket.

A single pigeon flew up to the windowsill and sat next to him, it’s head tilting. Oliver smiled at the small bird. “Ciao, amico. Come va?”

“So you do speak, just not English,” said a voice from the doorway. Oliver jumped and turned, causing the bird to fly away. His face was flush with embarrassment and eyes were wide with fear. Anyone else that had heard him talk wasn’t too happy with it… He looked over the figure, his mind racing.

It was a tall boy with a mess of curly blond hair, his hat securely pulled over it. A cigar was trapped between his pointer and middle finger, tapping against his palm. Next to him was Finch with clothes draped over his arm.

“Don’t look so scared, kid. Race ain’t gonna hurt you. In fact, he’s the guy you’re gonna wanna talk to if you speak Italian.” Finch smiled and set the clothes on the bed.

Oliver looked to the boy— Race— with the same wide eyes, but the fear was gone and replaced with hope. Race smiled at him. “Ti piacciono gli uccelli?”

“S-sì. I piccioni sono i miei preferiti,” Oliver replied, now moving to fidget with the button on his shirt.

“How ‘bout the name Pigeon, then? Seems pretty fittin’.” Race leaned back against the door frame.

He nodded with a grin. Finch laughed softly. “Finch and Pigeon. How perfect.”

Oliver— no, he wasn’t Oliver anymore. He could finally leave that name behind. Pigeon could tell this was the place he could call home. He would certainly take a while to get used to everyone, but this place seemed like a good place to start.

[sun-kissed-star]

what are some newsies blogs i should check out because i am new here

OK BUCKLE UP FELLAS 

@poorguysheadisdoingwhatnow has amazing headcanons and never fails to hurt my heart with her fabulous writing

@newsiesheadcanon also has awesome headcanons, even though they might make you cry

@your-brother-crutchie has made me cry with his writing, you’re in for a wild ride if you check out his blog

@ben-cook-can-cook is the greatest gal you can have in your life, she’s so funny and her posts/fics are legendary

@seizethegay1899 is one (1) amazing person I’ve been following for the longest time ever and they never fail to make me smile

@disney-princess-sized is the biggest Ravey Shipper™ around and she’s damn good at convincing you they’re meant to be, it’s her legacy

@elmers-half-a-cup is super nice and just a really great writer

@brooklynbadbois memes and smiles for days, I love her a lot

@tony-higgins is the bane of my existence because her fics are so good but she makes it a point to rip my heart out and stop on it with each one

@dank-crypitic i don’t know how to describe her, all i know is that I love her so, so much despite the teRRIFYING EDITS YOU SEND ME

 @who-is-the-king-of-new-york great writing and headcanons! I haven’t talked to her much but I’ve been following her for a long time. 

@newsies-fics I live for how much your friends mean to you. She also has a lot of reblogs of great content for our favorite dancing bois

@we-dont-sell-papes has a big heart and fights for her friends any day, I’d die for her

@racetrackcook is so nice, not to mention the queen of all things Ralbert. Between her and my Sprace trash, we’ll be unstoppable

@got-the-east-side amazing fics and AUs! super friendly! what’s there not to love?

@elmer-s-s0cks AMAZING WRITING GIRL WTH H O W

@wetcoffeejpg I just really, really, really love her art, she’s an incredible artist

@races-erster an amazing person and so nice go give her the apPRECIATION SHE DESERVES thanks for your time

@notes-the-newsie a whole lotta reblogs and Good and Gay Content™

@the-supporting-character Very much lives up to her url because she’s so very supportive and leaves the nicest comments on stuff! Also a great writer and a just a very wholesome person

@bexlynne shoutout to this bean for editing my stories and helping me figure out storylines. She’s so nice and leaves asks wherever she goes and writes great angst for my boy Race 

@newsies-everlasting SUNNY I LOVE YOU she’s the person to go to with questions and asks, she’s easy to talk to and so nice!

@i-got-personality the fandom’s Crutchie, she’s got the poisonality we all need to get through a rough day and seeing her on my dash cheers me up no matter what mood I’m in

@shes-the-apex-predator can be summed up to FUSE NO but hey we all love her and this fandom wouldn’t be the same without her

@shes-a-plum a constant mood, lots of textposts that basically sum up the human condition. She’s wonderful and so kind. 

@sunshine-musicals-yea LOVE HER she always checks up on me, thank you for mom friending me and putting up with how annoying I am. An amazing writer, a great friend

@ridin-in-style hmmmMMMmm this person? endlessly loving and supporting her friends and reblogging all the newsies aesthetics and art she comes across? It’s more likely than you think.

@and-a-snip Just an overall great person to go to for endless support and reblogs of headcanons and fics!

@the-1992-newsies-is-better LAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! She scares me sometimes but she loves Racetrack Higgins almost as much as I do and she’s very soft, don’t let her fool you

@albertdasillva GREAT WRITING and also a great personality! Has all the gay newsies you’ll ever need. She holds a special place in my heart, love ya babe

@mush-mike-and-ike  Deserves all the appreciation in the world. Has lots of love for the rest of the fandom and some greats headcanons!

@daveys-pet-snake GAY NEWSIES ALL AROUND, LETS GO FELLAS also so nice and cares so much for her friends?? like what?? stop that?? you’re making me smile so much from the love that radiates from you??

@races-papes hilarious? makes me laugh? more great newsies content? sounds good to me.  

@voice-foundshoe-lost LISTEN I LOVE HER AND HER WRITING A WHOLE LOT very dedicated to our newspaper sons and I respect that. You go girl.

@thebiggestyamfan the sweetest ever, she pops up all over and honestly I’m living for it. 

@c0ronas great writing (as always!!), just constant references, and I, too, love Race, so she’s therefore counted as one of the many people I hold near and dear to my heart

@thestoryweneededtowrite AGH I love everything about this blog you have no idea. So creative, quality content, 11/10

@thatguylex STOP KILLING OFF MY BOYS GOSH DARN IT but yeah anyway I love him and I wanna give him a really big hug because he deserves it (unless you don’t want that, then a fistbump is cool too!)

@purenewsies Such a very pure person, just like the newsies. Stans my boy Elmer and writes some great stuff!

@jeremyjordan-am-i-right If you love Jeremy Jordan as much as I do then I have the blog for you, right here fellas, let’s all go appreciate this man 

@headcanons-making-headlines Has some awesome hcs that are totally canon, what are you talking about, and shitposts which is really all you need in life

@broadwaycantdie ITS ALL NEWSIES TRASH WHEREVER YOU LOOK AND I’M LIVING FOR IT. Go talk to this lovely person! Reblogs All The Headcanons and Fics (now there’s a headline even Elmer could sell)

@anotherday-anotherdestiny President of the Trans Racetrack Higgins movement. That’s all you need to know to know her blog is Valid™ 

@timesarehardfornewsies she’s a big mood for forever and a talented, amazing gal

@race-ace Quality indeed with all this happiness going around when I see this lovely person on my dash 

@thatfancyclam OWNS MY ENTIRE HEART, dubbed me the Queen of Sprace, she’s the light of my life with all the positivity and love that she throws out

@seizetheimagines very, very talented and creative. She has a big heart and a lot of passion. 

@crutchieee-morris MY PARTNER IN CRIME I WOULD DIE FOR HER SHE’S AMAZING AND I WOULD BE CONSTANTLY LOST WITHOUT HER

@soak-em So sweet! She’s Sparks’ second-in-command as Crutchie in my heart. 

@shes-the-king Has some really great Sprace stuff, but also just a lot of different ships in general! I haven’t talked to them, but they seem really nice from what I’ve seen. 

@gothemcityshipper Great hcs and super friendly, from what I’ve seen! (we should talk more, babe!) I’d 100% check her out if I was you.

@sqecs I feel like his posts are just such icons in the newsies fandom,,,, he’s made me fall off my bed from laughing so hard so his blog is pretty Great

@imjusttheoutgoingsidekick I LIVE FOR ALL THE HEADCANONS! Very accurate posts too, like I feel like you’re seeing into some minds to get this information.

@unofficialfansie Also has a lot of great headcanons! I haven’t been following her for very long but I stan her anyway, she’s just great that way. 

There’s probably so many more I missed agh, I love you all!! Not sure why you put up with me in this fandom because I feel like a grain of sand next to you legends. Love you guys

[victorluvsalice]

-->With coop and shed clean, Alice wandered back to chat with the chickens for a little while and collect the eggs (in between giving herself more pep talks, because that sad moodlet from earlier was really sticking -- on the other hand, she got cake for breakfast, so that had to have helped in the "happiness" department), while Smiler successfully entertained Moory and got some milk for the fridge. Victor, for his part, continued his tending and harvesting of the greenhouse -- hampered slightly by the fact that Bugs and Elmer, now on low battery, had decided it was their duty to float off around the lot and hide from me. *sigh* Elmer I fortunately found pretty quickly as he passed by the greenhouse searching for more plants to tend, and got Victor to shut him off, but Bugs proved to be harder to find...

-->But while looking for that darn bot, I happened to spot a familiar face in the front yard -- one Brian Pimentel, NAP Inspector! Making note of a bunch of recyclables the gang had left in the front yard during an earlier attempt to clear out the garbage. ^^; I quickly had Victor go recycle that and some other trash while Brian went around the house to check on the greenhouse -- and, to my delight, Bugs appeared, "chasing" the guy there! I kept an eye on him while Brian finished his inspection -- fortunately, despite the mess in the front yard, the gang got another passing grade. Even more fortunately, he wasn't at all tempted by Toothy's cake tongue when he left the lot. XD I had Victor finish up his recycling, then go and turn off Bugs before the bot exploded before harvesting his now-fully-grown oversized crops. Whew -- disaster averted!

-->While that was going on, I had Alice refill the pet bowls so a hungry Surprise could get her lunch, then give some meat to Toothy so they didn't try to snap up any passing Sims. She then fixed up a broken water collector while Smiler (somewhat glitchily) hatched the latest chick out of the coop, and Victor claimed the last slice of cake in the fridge as his lunch. I mean, after all that tending and harvesting, sir, I think you deserve it! He wandered over Alice's way for a chat while Smiler celebrated the birth of a new chick with a dance...

[megabroadwaytrash]

Stitches

Based off of http://crystallizedtwilight.tumblr.com/post/173068608423/buttons-and-elmer-sharing-a-moment-seen-earlier#n ~ ~ ~ "Ow!" A pinprick of blood was on your finger. You sucked on it, wanting to stop the bleeding.

"(Y/N), you don't have to do this for me," Elmer said. You took your finger out of your mouth and picked up the sewing needle.

"Elmer, for the last time, you don't have to thank me." You finished the cross-stitch on his vest. Sewing was your passion, but it was near impossible to get an apprenticeship. You darned shoes, socks, caps, vests --and if the day was bad-- skin. You did what you could to help everyone. That's how you got your name, Stitches.

"It's done!" You folded the vest and handed it over to Elmer, who looked wistful.

"Let me at least pay you," he said, rummaging in his pockets.

"No, Elmer, you really don't have to," you said, standing up and placing a hand on his arm. He sighed, looking down at his feet.

"You charge Racer, you charge JoJo," he said, looking into your eyes. "You feel bad for me. You think I'm bad at sellin' papes," he whispered.

"No, Elmer, I-"

"I know they tease me about it," Elmer said, looking back down at the floor.

"Elmer," you whispered, placing a hand on the side his face. "Look at me. You live in a big family. I don't expect a dime to go far."

"I-"

"Shh-" You placed your lips on his. "I love you. I love you, Elmer, and I want you to know that I do this for you. Not because I pity you, because I love you." He looked into your eyes. He chuckled.

"Well, ain't that poetic?" he said. You smiled.

"We've got another day of sellin' tomorrow," you said. "I'm turning in for the night." You flopped down in the bed. Elmer snuggled next to you.

"I love you, (Y/N)," Elmer murmured into your back.

"I love you too," you whispered back. You could feel him smile, and you blushed, smiling too.

@crystallizedtwilight, your comics make my day! 

[a-fight-we-have-to-win]

Newsies as Immigrants Headcanons (Part 2)

Part 1

Albert DaSilva

- Portuguese

- him and his dad came over from the Azores Islands

- his dad works as a whaler which means Albert doesn’t see him for months or years at a time, and really at this point Albert has given up on him returning

- all he has left of him is a whalebone necklace his dad carved for him, he never takes it off

- the name DaSilva is Portuguese in origin, it means “forest”

- he maintains a lot of superstitions passed down to him from his dad

- like, he once changed his selling spot because too many black birds had gathered there

- the first newsie he met after his dad left was Race, he introduced himself as Anthony and Albert took it as a sign that he should stay with the newsies because Saint Anthony is one of the patron saints of Portugal

- he says Jack has a natural talent for the evil eye and should really be careful where he points that sucker

- being an island child, he’s one of the few newsies who knows how to swim and will generally take it upon himself to teach the younger kids and Race because dammit Jack, someone has to make sure they don’t drown

- he pretends to not like kids, but absolutely no one believes him and all the little newsies love him

- they’re convinced he’s a pirate and will follow him around begging for stories, and you know just because he helped his dad take over a boat once doesn’t make him a pirate, but he’ll make up stories for them anyway

- he speaks Portuguese, French, and English

- he and Finch have figured out how to speak to each other in French despite the differences in the dialects

- he’s a secret poet, he scribbles poems in Portuguese on old newspapers and then shows them to no one. Ever. No one is allowed to know.

Spot Conlon

- Irish

- Conlon is a very Irish surname derived from Gaelic Ó Connalláin, meaning Dog-Lion or someone who’s very strong

- his story is a lot like Jack’s, except he and his family came from Dublin

- unlike Jack, he still has family left

- his mother is often sick and can’t work, so he helps provide for them

- he has a sister and a brother who work in a factory, they all look after their mother and the younger kids

- a rumor exists among the newsies that Spot spat on his father’s body at his wake and returns to his grave every year to make sure he’s still dead

- no one has worked up the courage to ask Spot if that’s true

- he and Jack can and will hold lengthy arguments in Gaelic

- they will also occasionally give each other shit for their respective city, poor Racetrack is sitting in the middle so very confused

- everyone but the Brooklyn newsies have trouble understanding him through his accent, it’s why he tends to keep his sentences short, loud, and to the point.

- he still goes to church with his family every Sunday, a closely guarded secret among Brooklyn newsies, no other borough would believe them anyway

- Brooklyn has story nights at the Lodge where Spot will tell different Irish myths, he’s like a walking anthology

- and he even acts them out, doing different voices, leaping around the Lodging House pretending to be Fionn mac Cumhaill or Cu Chulainn locked in battle

- another closely guarded Brooklyn secret

- he has befriended crows and ravens in every one of the boroughs, they sometimes follow him or land on his shoulders

- this makes everyone extremely uncomfortable, which Spot finds hilarious

Mush Meyers

- German Jewish

- he came over as a baby with his mother escaping persecution in Berlin

- she died when he was little, so he more or less grew up inside the Lodging House, raised by newsies

- the name Meyers comes from the Hebrew word “meir” meaning “one who shines”

- he doesn’t really know he’s Jewish, or at least doesn’t quite know what that means

- he has a Star of David necklace given to him by his mother, it’s his good luck charm, he has it wrapped around his wrist because the clasp is broken

- it’s Davey that notices the necklace and asks him about it, Mush just sort of shrugs

- cue Davey dragging Mush back to his house and depositing him in front of his parents, like, someone fill him in, please

- it’s one of the reasons he spends a lot of time in the Jacobs’ house, but it’s also because him and Les get on like a house on fire

- he becomes something like the third Jacobs’ brother

- I have a lot of feelings about Mush and Davey being best friends, okay, I blame 92sies

- Davey will go to him if he has questions about being a newsie and Mush will go to Davey if he has questions about being Jewish

- his mother left behind a box of letters written in Hebrew and Davey helps him go through and translate them

- he discovers he has an uncle in Manhattan, his mother had planned to live with him and his family

- he takes Davey with him when he goes to meet them for the first time, they are so happy to see him and poor Mush doesn’t quite know what to do with that

- he ends up with more folks than he knows what to do with, so he just unilaterally decides to extend them to the newsies

- that’s how the Meyers family became the unofficial newsie safe house

Elmer Kasprzak

- Polish

- he’s the only one I don’t have to guess or extrapolate because his broadway trading card states that he’s one of nine siblings in a Polish family

- the name Kasprzak, shared by Elmer’s original actor Evan Kasprzak, is decidedly Polish, but see the thing is, Polish last names don’t usually mean anything

- I know because I have one, sometimes they’ll correspond to the name of a town or son of insert-name-here, but that’s about it

- anyway, Elmer is the son of Polish immigrants, he and his two older sisters remember Poland, but the other six came afterward

- his parents both work in factories, one sister’s married, the other works the night shift at a hospital

- he speaks Polish, German, and English

- everything he does is for his family, he lives in the Lodging House to give his younger siblings more space, but he visits them everyday

- approximately thirty seconds into his and Davey’s first conversation they discover that they were born one town removed from each other

- he gets it into his head that means they’re family and more or less adopts Davey and Les into the Kasprzak clan, but to be fair he does that with the other newsies too

- the Kasprzaks hold a Christmas dinner at the Lodge every year for this very reason

- speaking of, he loves Christmas, he’s responsible for the scrawny little Christmas tree in the Lodge

- he’ll make little snowflakes out of newspapers and stick them to the windows, he always saves up to put candles in the windows, all the little newsies help him

- the little newsies adore him, by the way, and he does his best to look out for them

- he, Albert, and JoJo are the Babysitting Squad™

Benjamin “Buttons” Davenport

- British

- described by Spot Conlon himself as “the only good Brit,” Jack agrees with this sentiment, Buttons doesn’t know what to do with this information

- Davenport is a locational surname, in this case meaning he likely came from Cheshire, England, let’s say Liverpool specifically

- he’s is a fierce Scouser, absolutely no one can understand his accent at first

- his dad’s a sailor and long ago he decided it was safer to live in the Lodging House than with his mother, so he doesn’t really see his parents and he would prefer it to stay that way

- England doesn’t hold many good memories for him, so he’s quick to adopt American culture

- he adores baseball, the different neighborhoods will sometimes meet up for a game and, they might be playing with a ball of twine and a busted pipe, but this kid is all over it

- he’s an excellent pitcher, but you know street rules means playing all the positions

- once during a Manhattan vs Brooklyn game, he ran a grand slam against Brooklyn, knocking the ball all the way into the East river and earning Spot Conlon’s respect

- he can sew, his mother taught him how, and he actually enjoys doing it, plus it’s pretty useful

- he collects buttons for the express purpose of fixing newsies’ vests and he hoards as much thread as possible

- he knows. How to. Darn. Socks. Fight me. It’s true. The newsies’ll find him in the corner of the Lodge with a small collection of their socks just… humming along, darning socks

- he hates coffee and has often asked the nuns if they have any tea, they surprise him one today with some, he is over the moon

- the newsies sometimes refer to him as their Yank

- he once called Spot Conlon a redcoat to his face

JoJo de la Guerra

- Spanish

- Guerra is a Spanish surname that means “war”

- in JoJo’s broadway trading card it says that he was raised by the nuns

- I can imagine his likely religious Spanish parents leaving him on their doorstep with nothing but his name, Jorgelino Josephino de la Guerra

- and the nuns call him Joseph, they only use his full name if they’re angry with him

- but the first newsie he meets, Elmer, hears that name and thinks… JoJo it is then

- he grew up watching the newsies and helping the nuns take care of them and he just wants to be a part of them so badly

- it’s like having siblings, he thinks, he’s already got a dozen mothers, he might as well add siblings to his family

- so the nuns let him, they wave him off to work every morning with coffee and biscuit in hand, blessed six ways from Sunday

- at first, he’s textbook sheltered, but he adjusts very quickly and such language

- the nuns taught him Latin and Greek in addition to English

- when he moves into the Lodging House it mysteriously becomes 100% cleaner overnight and no one can figure out why until they stumble upon JoJo trying to clean the fire escape

- he’s just trained to keep things clean, including himself, but the more time he spends with the boys the less he does it

- someone points out that good things tend to happen with him around, so he’s quickly accepted as the resident good luck charm

- the newsies come up with the notion that any water touched by JoJo becomes holy water, he tries to protest the idea

- it’s become a habit to touch their glasses to JoJo’s forehead before they drink

Bonus:

Katherine Pulitzer

- Hungarian

- the historical Joseph Pulitzer was an immigrant from Hungary, he moved to America and married Katherine Davis, their youngest daughter, Katherine Ethel Pulitzer, died in infancy

- but in our case, she survived to become the Katherine Plumber we know and love

- she doesn’t know anything about her father’s origins because he refuses to talk about it, if he addresses her at all

[stopforamoment]

Rabbit of Seville

Rabbit of Seville

This is the link to the Bugs Bunny cartoon with Elmer Fudd getting a scalp massage!

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three)

Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OFC Rinda Parks

Word Count: 1,129

Rating: E for Everyone

Author’s Note: Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this.

This takes place during the beginning of the series, when Rinda and Bastien are still getting to know each other.

Summary: Rinda gets tension headaches, but Bastien is there to save the day.

 Rinda carried stress in her neck and shoulders, tensing up, not even realizing she was doing it, and she got tension headaches at least once a week. She did yoga and had several destressing coping mechanisms—in addition to her inappropriate sense of humor. It was manageable, but still inconvenient.

Bastien noticed how Rinda would suddenly get up to walk around and stretch when they were working, or sometimes ask if she could throw her squish ball against the wall for a minute if it wouldn’t drive him too crazy. Sometimes it was more subtle. Stretching her neck. Rubbing her forehead and temples. Using her fingers to apply pressure points to her head, her forehead, her temples, her hands. Reaching for her bottle of Excedrin. But she never said anything and Bastien didn’t either. But at least once a week he could see when her skin was paler and her eyes glassy. The tension was too much and she wasn’t able to catch the pain in time, and she was miserable. But she still never said anything. Migraines ran in her family and what she experienced was nothing compared to what a true migraine could do.

“Rinda? Do you want a neck massage?”

Rinda looked at Bastien in shock. “What?”

Bastien blushed. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing.”

Rinda looked down, hesitating. “Bastien?” She looked at him with wide eyes. Aquamarine. Glazing over from pain. “Do you mind?”

Bastien smiled. Rinda noticed he had laugh lines—crinkles—around his eyes. Grey eyes. So kind. That surprised her, even though he’d been nothing but kind to her and Henry since they met. And she was starting to see his sense of humor now that they were getting to know each other better.

He stood behind her. “Rinda, is it okay if I take your hair clip . . . thing out?” Rinda smiled that he fumbled for the right word, but she just nodded.

Bastien gently removed the clip and her hair started falling into place. She had curly hair and Bastien gently ran his hands through it, trying to smooth it and brush it away from her forehead. It was so soft. He started with pressure points, his fingers firmly pressing to help relieve pressure. Then he slowly ran his fingers from her temples to the center of her head, gently kneading and massaging her scalp.

Dat dah da dah da. Rinda began humming a tune from Barber of Seville. “Did you ever watch Bugs Bunny cartoons? Remember when Bugs Bunny was giving Elmer Fudd a scalp massage?”

Bastien started chuckling. “Should I start massaging your head with my toes?”

Rinda laughed. “And make a salad on top of my head.”

Bastien smiled as he started to massage Rinda’s neck. They were quiet again as he focused on the stress she carried in her neck. Then her shoulders. He began humming. Then softly whistling. Rinda straightened up and turned around in surprise. “You’re a really good whistler. Seriously. I wish I could whistle, and you’re actually whistling a song. That’s amazing.”

Bastien blushed and shrugged. “Do you want me to massage your forehead now? I would just move so I can sit in front of you.” Rinda nodded and he moved his chair around to face her before sitting down. He gently applied pressure points to her forehead and temples again.

“My mind to your mind” Rinda mumbled.

“Rinda, this isn’t a Vulcan mind meld. Do you want me to stop?”

“No, please. I’m sorry. This feels really good. My headache is going away, but please don’t stop yet.” He kept massaging her temples. “You can whistle again, if you’d like.” Rinda opened her eyes and she was looking directly into Bastien’s. But he didn’t blink. He just stared into her eyes, noticing that they were changing colors, back to their normal hazel color. Golden flecks returning. “Bastien, were you whistling one of his overtures?”

Bastien continued to massage under her ears, under her jaw. “Yes, I love Rossini.” Rinda looked up, almost brushing her nose with Bastien’s. “I didn’t know that. I know you don’t like to talk about yourself, but I’d like to learn more. What other music do you like?”

“I’ll just hum some of my favorites, okay? But don’t try to guess. Just relax. I promise I will tell you more about me another time.” He hummed as his hands massaged her cheeks, her jaw, the sides of her neck. Rinda finally let go of the tension and her head slumped forward, her body leaning into his. Bastien gently cupped her face and rested it against his shoulder. She went limp with relaxation and one of her hands dropped to her side and the other fell between his legs, grazing against him. He smiled as he discreetly placed it on his knee. She didn’t even realize. Then he reached one arm around her to support her. The other continued to massage the back of her neck and her back. Rinda was in a warm cocoon, resting against his shoulder, listening to him hum, inhaling his scent. So relaxing. So strong. So masculine . . .

Bastien felt Rinda’s deep breathing and heard her quiet snores. He kept his arms around her, still rubbing soft circles on her back, gently kissing the top of her head. He didn’t want this moment to end, but he knew it had to. “Rinda?” Now he started to rub her back, her shoulders, her cheek, to help her wake up. He didn’t want to startle her.

She leaned away from him, still drowsy, but starting to blush. “I’m so sorry, Bastien.”

He still stroked her cheek. “It’s okay. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. I feel amazing, thank you. You have magic hands. How did you know those pressure points and the right areas to massage?”

“Basic medical field training. Pressure points to stop bleeding, help with pain management.”

Rinda smiled and gently stroked his cheek. “Thank you so much. That was . . . perfect. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Rinda.”

They got back to work, and Bastien smiled.

He had actually taken a short seminar to learn about massage techniques for people with headaches just so he could help her. And it did.

. . . . .

The next morning Rinda sent Bastien a message.

I created a Rossini playlist in my Spotify account and made it public. If you admit to other music you like, I can make more. And if you’re too retro cool for a Spotify account I’ll just make you a mix tape instead. Maybe stand outside your office with a boom box. Just let me know.

And thank you again. I felt so relaxed. I don’t know the last time I got such a good night’s sleep.