#dark humor is how i roll 😎

[clairedelune-13]

This is sad but damn, Clara’s outfit was a great thing to die in! Better than what Rose “died” in. Can you imagine getting stranded in 90s/early 2000s fashion?

Ya’ll, thats why she’s crying, didn’t get a chance to nip back to the Tardis for a better outfit and possibly to do her hair.

Imagine if Rose had been lookin’ fly as hell when she got stuck. Be a lot less tragic. Least she’d be rockin’ hoops and french braids.

Clara thought ahead. She dresses as if every day’s her last.

Raven: I’m a comin.

Clara: Bring it, bitch.

[meowzfordayz]

caught with them (; — hashira men

Author’s Note: mostly humorous, but ~a lil steamy. 😉 Update: some are def steamier than others. 😅

caught with them (; — hashira men

Himejima Gyomei x Reader, Iguro Obanai x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~1,500

CW: 18+NSFW, accidental v!yeurism, cream!pie, dark humor, degrading language, explicit language, Fem!Reader

Emergency Request Fulfilled: Hi T! May I please request an emergency request (I'm  getting surgery on Thursday and I'm a bit stressed) can you please write funny nsfw headcanons where all the male hashira ( except Muichiro) making love to their fem s/o and all of a sudden she calls out ,"Daddy!", And the guys think she's being kinky and they were getting so into it but then with her serious demeanor they stopped and turned to find out it was actually their s/O's Dad who came in to visit? Please and thank you.

~faqs~

“Daddy!”

Initially confused

Gyomei didn’t realize you were into that 😏

And he was too invested in how perfectly your pussy suffocated his dick to hear approaching footsteps 💀

“G-gyomei,” you gasp, burning w/ embarrassment, legs wrapped around his waist as you sit full and sweaty on his lap, nose pressed into his shoulder, suddenly grateful it’s his back facing the living room doorway

“Hm?” he murmurs lowly, blissfully unaware, nearing his orgasm as he continues guiding your hips w/ strong, broad palms

“Mydad’shere,” you manage to explain, nearly choking on the feeling of his tip grazing your cervix

😳😱😵

#Gyomei is no longer confused

“Oh dear,” he mutters, mortification clear in his voice

Even as his eyebrows furrow, cock twitching in your heat as he finally cums

Meanwhile, your poor dad’s like: 🫠🫠🫠

“Well don’t just stand there!” you shriek, “Go make yourself tea or something!”

Best believe your dad immediately disappears to make himself something much stronger than tea 😭

“Daddy!”

And that’s when Obanai remembers 😳

“Please tell me what’s happening isn’t what I think is happening.”😖

—You thought you knew what his desperation sounded like

—Especially after cockwarming him for hrs, clenching and gently grinding every so often to keep him on edge, computer screen bright w/ half finished work, swivel chair squeaking whenever you decide to roll your hips

—But this definitely takes the cake 🥴

“Unfortunately, my dad is here for our scheduled luncheon that we completely forgot about, but fortunately he is also going to wait in his car,” you grit out, glaring harshly at your equally distraught parent, “We’ll be ready shortly.”

Newsflash: your dad could care less about when you’ll be ready for lunch

In fact, he’d much prefer to cancel lunch altogether

Who needs lunch when their appetite’s just been ruined by an emotionally scarring event?

As soon as your dad leaves, you clamber off of Obanai’s lap, his cock slick and swollen as he slips from your heat, needy whine shiny on his lips

“We’ll revisit this later,” you promise, “With the door closed.”

Despite the waves of embarrassment still crashing through him, he can’t resist cracking a wicked smile, drinking in the sight of your naked form as you bend over to hand him his shirt, previously discarded on the floor

“Dessert? Sounds good to me.” 😎

“Daddy!”

Kyojuro pauses mid thrust, expression eager, chest pink from exertion, longer hairs tickling your collarbones as he haunches over you, “Daddy? Would you like to call me daddy?”

“Kyo-” 😭

Yk when yk what you should say, but you can’t seem to say it? 😬

Ofc that would occur at the least opportune moment 😃

“Sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with liking what you like!” lips grazing your throat, one palm pushing at your thigh, the other splayed on an overhead cabinet to steady himself, “If you want to call me daddy, then I am perfectly happy to be your daddy,” sucking lightly at your jaw, growling at the satisfying thud of your body against the countertop’s edge as he completes his thrust, balls sticky when they tap your skin

“Kyyyo-” 😭😭😭

“Call me daddy sweetheart, let daddy make you feel go-”

“So uh,” finally your dad sputters, “How about you guys text me when you’re finished?”

Kyojuro’s eyes = wider than saucers 😳

“I AM SO SORRY, I HAD NO IDEA.” <— 0.02 secs after your dad slams the front door shut

“That was hot,” you giggle breathlessly, shock still radiating, “Maybe I do have a daddy kink? You had me at a lost for words.” 😇

“Clearly!” he nearly whines, uncharacteristically bashful as he tucks his face into your shoulder, “I would have stopped immediately had I known!”

“I’m sorry, I short circuited.” 😅

“I hope he forgives us.” 😓

You snort, already recovering from the ordeal, “He’ll survive.” 😆

Pouting, Kyojuro clings to you, cock slowly softening in your pussy, “But I may not.” 🥺

“Oh hush,” you pat his head reassuringly, smiling as he nuzzles closer, “Let’s shower and get dressed. My poor dad’s patiently waiting.”

“Daddy!”

“Who’re you calling daddy?” Sanemi murmurs, body draped over you, grip warm and steady around your waist, your own hands clutching the edge of the sink, “Listen to your sloppy cunt, so pliant and needy, bent over in the bathroom like a cheap whore.”

“Sanemi,” you squeak, eyes glued to the retreating figure reflected in the mirror

“I asked you a question,” he growls roughly, nipping at the side of your neck, balls tapping your clit as his pace quickens, “Who’re you calling daddy? Who’s fucking your slutty hole? Who’s bringing you closer and closer to your climax?”

“Iwascallingmydad, daddy,” you blurt, diction hurried by the stretch and intensity of Sanemi’s thrusts

He shudders to a halt, dangerous stare meeting yours as he looks up into the mirror

“You WHAT?!!!”

You inhale deeply, enunciation precise and drawn out, “We invited my dad over for dinner. You got me horny. He let himself in… and then let promptly let himself out. We made eye contact in the mirror, I swear he nearly fainted, and I called him daddy because apparently that’s what I do when I panic!”

“Oh so this is MY fault?” 😒

“The fuck?” 😐

“That’s what I’m saying! You got me horny, bitch, you’re always horny! Sorry I enjoy pleasuring my woman!” 🙄

“Well don’t apologize for that!”

“Fine! I’m not sorry!” 😤

“So do I get to cum, or…?” 🙃

“You’re fucking weird. You still wanna cum? Now?”

“I mean dinner’s obviously off the table, so-”

“Fuck’s sake! Okay! I’ll make you cum!” 🤬

“Good!”

“Great! Better brace yourself princess,” Sanemi snarls, slipping his fingers between your legs to flick at your clit, “Because you’re my cocksleeve for tonight.”

—Don’t even ask 😃

—Porn isn’t realistic

—So why should my fanfiction be? 😂

“Daddy!”

#riperoni Tomioka Giyuu

“Uh huh baby, baby, fuck, f-fuck, FUCK,” he groans loudly, mouth parting slightly, couch pillow propping his head up to provide the perfect view of your perfect tits as you perfectly ride him

“GiyuuGiyuuGiyuu-”

Disclaimer: you’re panicking — not cumming 💀

#unlike someone #that someone being Giyuu

“Shit, you’re incredible,” he murmurs, eyes barely open, thumbs soft and greedy as they dig into your waist, satisfaction welling in his stomach as his cum fills you, warm and viscous, tip swollen and twitching, “Feels good, hm? When daddy cums in your gorgeous pussy?”

#riperoni Tomioka Giyuu x 1,398,742

You clear your throat, blinking awkwardly, “Dad, how about I call you in ten minutes?”

Indescribable dread flickers across Giyuu’s face

⚠️ESCAPE⚠️RETREAT⚠️WITHDRAW⚠️

But he can’t move 😭, bc he just came inside of you 😭, and apparently there’s an audience 😭

#talk about a mess #pun intended

“You do that honey!” *your dad frantically nods* “You do whatever you need to do!” *your dad frantically flees*

…

…

“Murder or suicide?” Giyuu asks quietly

“What?” 🧐

“One of us is a dead man,” he answers solemnly, “But I’ll let you decide who.”

*big sigh* “Neither you nor my dad has to die.”

“I disagree.” 😔

“Daddy!”

“The fuck?” 🤨 “Is your dad here?” 🤨 “Are you into that?” 🤨

The fact that Tengen hasn’t stopped thrusting does not help your ability to articulate 💀

“Well?” he grunts, biceps straining as he keeps you pinned to the wall, hands full of your ass, “Which one is it?”

“The fact that you don’t seem concerned in the slightest that it could be the second one is mildly concerning,” you mutter

Meanwhile, you’re frantically shooing your dad away, unable to do much more in your current ~position

“The fact that you only consider that mildly concerning is also concerning,” he retorts, “And quit fidgeting,” tongue licking along the curve of your jaw as he murmurs lowly, “Less wriggling, more cumming.”

The sound of the front door opening and closing barely registers to Tengen 😃

Is he that pussydrunk?

Nah

#he just doesn’t give af

#well

#sort of

“Tengen.”

“Hm?” he smirks, gaze glinting smugly at the feeling of your pussy sucking him in deeper, “You gonna cum for me?”

“You do know my dad was here?” breaking off to a whimper as his pubic bone grinds against your clit, “R-right?”

“I know,” he replies simply, fixated on your building orgasm, determinedly repeating his motions, spurred on by your ragged gasps and staccato moans, “I was certainly surprised,” tone amused and patient, “But I figured he’d leave as soon as he realized what he walked in on,” nonchalant as ever, “No point in ruining our pleasure for a brief interruption.”

—I’m not usually suuuper into Tengen, but damn 🤠😂

[matchamenace]

I posted 880 times in 2022

That's 880 more posts than 2021!

38 posts created (4%)

842 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bcyoureallthatmakessense

@dxncingwithastrxnger

@electricwalkman

@theamiableanachronism

@1980s-jean-ralphio

I tagged 648 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#fave - 71 posts

#fanart - 34 posts

#lovely mutuals - 31 posts

#matchamenace - 29 posts

#halloween - 26 posts

#matcha blogs! - 22 posts

#shane madej - 19 posts

#fall - 18 posts

#spooky season - 18 posts

#matcha asks! - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#everytime i think about him i get the weirdest mixture of joy and sadness and i just wanna curl up in a ball and cry and/or possibly vomit

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Who is your stranger things tumblr bestie :)

Oh man I don't have just one bestie, but the peeps I'm closest to are probably:

@dxncingwithastrxnger

@bcyoureallthatmakessense

@claire-de-lune

@purpleangelsele

Of course there's plenty of other blogs I adore that I just haven't interacted with as much, but perhaps one day that'll change 😌

7 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#4

Got covid booster #2 this morning. Already starting to feel cruddy. 😭

8 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

MY DARK DASH IS BACK

OH THANK GOD- MINE TOO 😭 I don't know how I ever tolerated light mode in the past ahaksks

8 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

#2

Fuck, Marry, Kill

Hopper

Murray

Steve

🥰😌

OH FUCK WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME CLAIRE??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

AHSHSJDJDJDK OKAY!! Kill Murray for sure (he's one of my least favorites, sorry not sorry 🙈) Fuck Hopper 😜, Marry Steve 😘

Ok this actually wasn't hard at all lmao. Just very telling... 👀

11 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Who are some of your favorite Mileven blogs and why? Let’s spread some positivity and smiles on this fine Friday🌻🐛🌼 then tag 3 other blogs to keep the smiles going.

Oh goodness!! Let's see here agsjsksksk

@dxncingwithastrxnger ABSOLUTE KING 👑🔥🔥🔥 Nothing but good vibes and the fluffiest fics and headcanons you'll ever read!! 🙌 They put SO much thought and care into their posts and are just such a pleasure to interact with 😋💕 Honestly my go-to if I'm looking for lighthearted, feel-good content. (ILY ALEX!!!!!!!! 👋)

@purpleangelsele ACTUAL CINNAMON ROLL ✨ (Sweet with a hint of spice 😎👉👉) Probably one of the friendliest people I've met online lol! Doesn't matter what I post, I can always count on Sel to give me some sort of engagement and I fkin love it!! 🤣 As for their content it's mostly fun and cute headcanons, but they definitely don't shy away from the occasional hot take or petty post 😌 Tons of personality. Great sense of humor. LOVE THEM!!! 💜💜💜

@mikes-pineapple-pizza Incredibly articulate and astute observations!! 🙌✨ Has a knack for breaking down a variety of ST topics (including, but not limited to Mileven) in a way that's intelligent, but also very chill and unpretentious. Idk. Their content just really speaks to me and I think they're super cool. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Fr tho, this person could make a podcast just analyzing anything in the show and I would EAT IT UP!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

@claire-de-lune Ah man the duality of Claire.... 🤣🤣🤣 Deliciously petty, but simultaneously has some of the sweetest and unique headcanons to offer! 🥰 A VERY passionate Mileven defender who won't take shit from nobody, but an absolute delight to have on your side 😜💕

@lenorahills @fricchead @rllybritrlly @pumpkingface BITCHIN' ARTISTS!!! Each have such cute and unique illustration styles, and it's ridiculous how excited I get everytime they post new content asksksk 🙈💕 As an artist myself, I could not recommend them more 🙌

Anyway I think I'm gonna end descriptions here, but here's some other Mileven blogs I adore:

@truessences @teafiend @flamingfalcon3 @bcyoureallthatmakessense @pjo-fan17 @elsmike @crisperia @reganx2 @mikewheely

It definitely doesn't end there, but I'm feeling lazy today, so I sincerely apologize to anyone I might've excluded! I still love and appreciate you all!!! 😘

25 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[josiebelladonna]

to anyone out there nervous about nanowrimo this year, this is my 4th time doing it (technically 4th - 3rd if you’re going by the actual site and not my own stats), and this is my thought process with each year:

2017: i’m scraping by to even so much as pay my electric bill because i’m living with someone who’s a complete mooch and wastes money like it’s nothing. i’ll eat anything. i don’t know if i can live here anymore. i don’t want to live here anymore - yeah, i was saying “i hate it here” well before anyone bitching about how bad this year is even so much as thought it. i don’t even know if i can do it? it’s for chris, though, i have to do it. i live in the middle of nowhere and i feel a nuclear missile pointed at my head. i need to tell the story of black rain, the song i heard in 2010 and it gave me hope for the future. fuck capitalism and fuck you for enforcing it. cry on black rain. (i wound up writing something like 110k words in that first draft because of that pressure 🔥)

2018: i’m alone in my room most of the time because while that person quit being an issue in december of last year, my mom works full time. i need a hug because i’ve been alone so long and i feel like no one appreciates me for my efforts, or anything really - i can’t just “exist”. i want my daddy. i wanna meet lars. i just want to kiss a boy so i’m telling the story of a girl who messes around with boys who turn into creatures. i’ll see if i can finish it before i visit my dad and if i don’t i’ll finish it there. i’m naming it after the fact that i do my best and most honest work not just under gun but later in the day and in the middle of the night, too. (i hit 50k on the 21st, the night before thanksgiving and while i was at my dad’s house no less! and that one ended up going to 140-odd thousand in mid-january 😎)

2019: i’m on a roll, bitches! i found literally the cutest boy who’s a complete clean slate which baffles me because he’s so hot and cute and sweet and humble and looks like me (his name is joey, by the way). he’s become my muse of sorts in the past few months alone. he’s in a band that does a song called “now it’s dark” which is one of the most erotic things i’ve ever heard in my life. they’re all into sci-fi and comics and so am i! this one’s for them and i’m naming this after that sexy song, too. lars, too, he’s gotta have his heroic moment at some point. (once again, 50k on the 21st and volume one went to... 97k, if i remember correctly? i had signed and sealed it on black friday, the day before november ended. but then i kept going to write two more volumes 🔥)

2020: i’m watching the world blow up outside my window. everyone’s experiencing the exact same dark shit i went through growing up, also my depressions in 2012, 2013, and also three years ago - everything down to the “fuck capitalism and fuck you for enforcing it” even. oh, yeah, remember that boy i was talking about? yeah... apparently he’s... kind of a fan of me now, hehehehe. i’ve also ascended to “bad girl” status to a degree: i do what i damn well please even if it makes me look dangerous and i’m not afraid to put a bitch in her (or his) place. this one is going to be like now it’s dark but with far more humor involved and the story’s radically different; they were scenes and snippets i wrote whilst writing now it’s dark to keep my sense of humor intact. part one’s already written; imma do part two for this year. it’s coming hot on the heels of an intense october for me: take your pick from betrayals left and right to people just being difficult to be around. everyone’s so acrimonious right now and i fucking hate it. i need a laugh (no offense to tiktok, but i need something that’ll last). i need a hug. i need a laugh and a hug. (i’ve got the words inside me. my notes at my side. finally a rouse of people around me. we shall see.😘)