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champagneandliterature · 2 years ago

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Beautifully Broken

Summary-Remus owns a coffee shop that isn't quite what it seems. Late one night the most beautiful man he's ever seen stumbles in and becomes the only thing that Remus can think about.

Written as a gift for a Trick or Treat Gift Exchange I do have an extensive nearly four-page outline for the rest of this story. I really wanted to leave it open-ended, but alas, I just don't think I can leave this one alone.

Rated T (as of now, if I keep posting it, it will change to E)

It was a typical Thursday night in the coffee shop for Remus. Lily wasn’t due back for another hour or so, and, knowing her, she’d head straight for the potions lab, only coming out to help make Americanos and Macchiatos if they were flooded with muggle patrons. Remus had owned the coffee shop in London for two years now. He’d worked there for nearly a year before Aberforth told him the truth of what was happening behind the scenes. Remus had almost expected it to be a front for drugs, and in a way, it was. Aberforth had an illegal potions lab in the basement of the centuries-old building, the building that had somehow made it through wars without a scratch.

When he had shown it to Remus, he was appalled, thinking the absolute worst of his employer and dealings. But the older man had simply said, “Why did you think I gave you the job, boy? We’re helping them, your kind.” It took Remus almost too long to put it together. The number of dark creatures that lurked in the nearby streets, sometimes stopping in for a cuppa, should have been an indication of what was happening at the shop, but, in his youthful, earnest ignorance, Remus didn’t see that they were hanging about the shop for something other than a coffee or tea. Aberforth had been making wolfsbane, euphoria potion, draught of dreamless sleep, and other pain-relieving and healing potions in the lab and using the tea or coffee as a vessel for them for years before Remus had come to work for him. He should have realized something was going on there when Albus himself had told Remus to take the job when he came of age.

Remus hadn’t attended Hogwarts due to his “condition.” Being a werewolf wasn’t exactly something he could hide from the other students, regardless of Albus’ intervention with his parents. Still, he did his coursework from home through correspondence and very understanding professors. Once he completed his N.E.W.T.S., he had attended post-secondary courses at Oxford in the magical departments, focusing on Arithmancy and Magical History. When he had finished, he had always thought he’d take up a position at Hogwarts teaching, but, as it turned out, parents didn’t want a registered werewolf teaching their students, which is where Albus’ suggestion of working for Aberforth at the coffee shop came in. Remus decided it was the best move for him as he was deciding whether or not to start work on a muggle doctorate degree.

Aberforth showed him the ropes of running the shop and, eventually, the lab. A wonderful, beautiful witch named Lily ran the potions lab. She was his age, and he would have been in her year at Hogwarts had he attended. She was brilliant and quick-witted, and the two became fast friends. It was her that he was missing tonight. There had been too many muggle patrons with their ridiculous coffee orders, and he was only now, at ten PM, able to start cleaning up from them, as it was now dead in the shop. The next full moon wasn’t for two weeks which meant most other werewolves were healed from the previous moon and weren’t feeling the effects of the coming full moon yet. Just as his mind had begun to wander into the moon’s phases, he saw the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on stumble through the door.

He was tall, almost Remus' height of 6'2, with long dark hair curling around the tops of his shoulders. Stormy grey eyes glazed over. And Remus noticed, almost immediately, that he was bleeding. Remus could smell it on him as he walked towards the man who had just barely managed to get himself in the door.

“Still open?” The dark-haired man croaked.

“For a few minutes,” Remus replied, “Why don’t you sit here,” he gestured towards the booth in the back corner of the shop, reaching towards the man, who flinched when Remus moved. “I’ll lock the door and get you something to sober you up, yeah?” The man snorted but followed Remus’ directions watching Remus lock the door.

The man sat down, and Remus got to work on an espresso spiked with a little healing potion and sober up mixed in. It wasn’t the first time he had served a muggle a drink with a little something in it to help them. Remus watched the other man the entire time he was fixing his drink. Something didn’t quite sit right about him. Yes, he was dressed like any other posh muggle who lived in the area, but something about his smell wasn’t quite the same. He smelled almost canine, which couldn’t be right, could it? The man wasn’t a werewolf. Remus would have noticed immediately. No, this was something else. He finished making the espresso and walked over to the cozy-looking booth. The dark-haired man was staring off into space as Remus placed his espresso in front of him.

“Sirius,” the man said, trying to focus and look Remus in the eye.

“Huh?” Remus replied, a little confused.

“Sirius, my name. It’s Sirus. You know, like the star?” he slurred.

“Oh, yeah,” Remus blinked a few times, “Well, Sirius, I’m Remus. I own the place.”

“S’nice to meet you,” Sirius slurred again, a little less as he’d sipped the coffee.

“Why don’t you have another sip? It’ll make you feel better. I promise,” Remus replied.

“Nothing will make it better,” Sirius murmured but took a sip of the coffee anyway, humming as he tasted it.

“That’s got to be the best coffee I’ve ever had.” He replied, finishing the drink.

“Glad to hear I’m doing a good job,” Remus said, taking the cup from Sirius’ hands and setting it on the saucer. Their fingertips barely brushed. Remus swore that just that tiny slight contact felt like electrical currents on his skin. “I’ll be right back,” Remus said, taking the cup and saucer in his hands entirely and going back behind the counter to make another cup for Sirius. Remus again carefully watched him while he set about tamping the espresso and turning on the drip. Sirius’ split lip was slowly stitching itself back together, and Sirius looked like he was coming around a little. Remus watched the look on Sirius’ face change from not quite sure what was happening, to realizing exactly what was happening. Remus finished the second drink and started to make his way over to Sirius, who was now standing with his wand drawn.

“What did you give me? What the hell is this place? I won’t hesitate.” Sirius said, pointing his wand at Remus, who now had set the espresso down and had his wand drawn as well. “Listen, it’s not… I wasn’t trying to drug you or anything. I’m just here to help. I just thought you’d want to be sober and heal a little”

“Don’t even try to tell me what I want. I don’t need your help!” Sirius almost shouted, eyes wild. “I didn’t ask for you to help me.”

“I know, I just, I thought…”

“You thought wrong,” Sirius said. “You had no right to do that,” Remus swore Sirius sounded offended.

“I just wanted to…” Remus didn’t even get the rest of his thought out before he heard the pop of apparition, and Sirius and all his gorgeous, brokenness was gone.

A week passed and every single time Remus tried to get anything done, he could only think about Sirius. Thoughts about Sirius never left his mind, most of them innocent. Was he ok? Was his lip fully healed? Was he safe? Some were less pure. Was he a dark wizard? Was he involved in something nefarious? What did he look like naked? Remus bet that Sirius was all lean muscle and sinew, and Remus bet his lips would become precisely the perfect shade of pink if they were arou….Remus shook his head. That line of thought had kept Remus up more than a few nights this week.

Remus was leaning on the counter near the register, staring at the door, when he felt a hand on his shoulder, “Just go look for him.”

Remus was startled, “Who? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t. Your mystery man. Just walk out the door and start looking. Maybe he’ll turn up.” Lily said, grabbing the towel off of Remus’ shoulder as she began wiping the counter. Remus raked a hand through his hair, dragging it down his face.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start looking,” he shook his head.

“Well,” Lily stilled her movement and turned back towards Remus, “you did say that he looked beat up and wasn’t exactly sober,” Remus cringed a bit when she said that.

“That could literally be the description of just about anyone in London in this neighborhood any day of the week,” Remus replied, a little exasperated.

“I know it’s not a lot to go on. Did he give you his name?”

“I thought I told you his name?” Remus answered.

“You really didn’t tell me anything about it. Other than,” Lily lowered her voice in an attempt to mock Remus, “he was the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. His eyes, his hair, he was perfection. It’s like someone went into my brain and took a picture of a dream of mine…blah blah blah. But you gave me absolutely no actual details.”

“I don’t sound like that. I didn’t say all of that,” Remus scowled.

“You most certainly did. And it was just as disgusting then as it is now. So, give me some details, and maybe we can suss this out.”

“Well, he’s tall, not as tall as me, longish black hair, the most…” Lily started to roll her eyes, and Remus started again, trying not to be too descriptive, “gray eyes, very sharply dressed. I’m sure his shoes cost more than this entire shop. He, and I swear I told you this, didn’t smell completely human. He had almost a dog smell, not wolf, though.”

“Sounds like a poodle to me,” Lily said, smiling at her friend. Remus ignored her comment and walked around the counter to sit at the nearby table. Lily slid onto the counter itself, swung her legs over, so they dangled over the front, and continued, watching Remus put both elbows on the table and his hands under his chin.

“I’m just teasing. So what was Snuffles’ name then?”

“Snuffles?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have to call him something until you tell me his real name.”

“Sirius,” Remus replied.

“Why wouldn’t I be serious?”

“His name. His name is Sirius.”

Lily’s mouth opened and closed twice before she replied, “you’ve got to be kidding me? What are the odds?”

“What are the odds of what?” Remus asked.

“You said he was a wizard, right?”

“Yeah. He had to have been.”

“This is just too fucking much,” Lily said as she hopped off the counter and made her way to sit in the chair opposite Remus. “Remus, you know how I said there were a group of boys I went to school with that I absolutely couldn’t stand?”

“Of course, one was James. The other two, I’m not sure you ever mentioned their names.”

“Well, James was sort of their ring leader. And James was the one who wouldn’t take no for an answer. He constantly asked me on dates. He was relentless. Luckily, despite how good-looking and charming he was, I never fell for it. Anyway, his friends. Their names were Peter and…”

“No fucking way, that’s true,” Remus replied, clearly not believing Lily.

Lily shook her head yes. “Oh yeah, it’s true. It has to be him. You described him exactly as I remember him. He was posh, but not exactly what I would call put together in school. He was always clunking around in Doc Martens, tie-askew. The three of them were always getting into some kind of trouble and fights. And, I mean, how many wizards are named Sirius?”

“There are plenty of wizards with strange names,” Remus said, leaning back off the table a bit.

“Come on, Remus. We both know it’s him. Sirius would pick fights with anyone who looked at him or James or Peter the wrong way. Particularly the Slytherins. He once got into a brawl so brutal that he was in the hospital wing for a week and then sent home early for Christmas.”

“Who was the fight with?”

“His brother,” Lily said matter of factly. “No one really knows what they were fighting about. It was our last year, and when they came back from holidays, Sirius wasn’t the same. He still spent his time with James and Peter, but he was more subdued. I don’t think he got a single detention for the rest of the school year. At least none from me.”

“Oh, I almost forgot. Head girl and all, you little swot.” Remus teased, and Lily threw the towel she was still holding at his face.

“There’s nothing wrong with being head girl,” she said as he laughed a little. “I could try to figure out how to contact him if you want.”

“I don’t know. He didn’t leave here on the best terms with me. He thinks I tried to drug him. I just sobered him up and gave him a bit of healing potion. He acted like I was trying to poison him or something. It was bizarre. Most people like it when they get help here.” Remus said.

“Maybe he wasn’t looking for help.” Lily retorted.

“Why would he come in then?”

“Maybe he honestly just wanted a cup of coffee and to be left alone.”

“That seems unlikely.”

“Remus, love, not everyone is looking to be saved all the time.”

“I know that,” Remus said a little too defensively. “He was beaten, and stoned, and he looked like he really needed help. What if he still does?”

“I’ll make a call and see if I can find anything out, but Remus, don’t get your hopes up too high, ok? I don’t want to see you hurt. His family, they’re not… they are not good people. They are one of the darkest families in Wizarding Britain.”

“I thought you said he was in your house? Aren’t all of you Gryffindors supposed to be the good guys here?”

“He was, and yes, we are the good guys,” she chuckled, “but the power of family is strong, and if he didn’t get out of it, he’s probably deep in the thick of it. I’ll see what I can find out ok?” she asked.

“Ok,” Remus said, standing and walking over to Lily, who was still seated at the table. He kissed the top of her head. “Thanks, Lils. You’re truly the best.”

“I know,” she said as she watched Remus walk towards the door and start to turn the lock.

Remus froze, hand on the lock he hadn’t quite turned all the way. “I have to go, Lily.”

“What? Remus, where the hell do you have to go right now? We’ve got to close up.”

“You’re not going to believe who is standing across the street,” Remus motioned towards the door's window.

“Well, I guess I won’t have to make that call after all,” Lily said, looking out of the window. “It’s him, you know. It’s Sirius Black. Just be careful ok?” Lily said, looking into Remus’ eyes, trying to implore him to understand her concern.

“I will. I just need to talk to him.” Remus said, looking out the window again. Sirius cocked his head to the side slightly in invitation. Remus grabbed Lily’s hand, gave it a quick squeeze, and opened the door to let himself out, took a quick deep breath, and walked across the street towards the beautiful broken mess that was leaning against the brick wall waiting for him.

#remus lupin #sirius black #dark coffee shop au #hp marauders #gift fic #wolfstar #lily evans #aberforth dumbledore #endgame remus/sirius

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utilitycaster · 2 years ago

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Would LOVE that essay on combat in dnd because full agree. But not even just for people watching live play, like, combat is an essential feature of dnd as a game system and it endlessly frustrates me when i see dms be like “yeah combat is just too complicated and no fun so i dont do it in my game :)!” Like i guess thats your right, but any non-caster class is gonna be miserable in your game. I saw a video recently talking about how dnd has kind of become the default ttrpg and is marketed as the perfect system for everyone and any style of play which is just. So not true. Combat in dnd is equally as integral as roleplay is and theres really no argument otherwise. Very valid if you hate dnd combat, it sure isnt for everyone, but in that case maybe play a different ttrpg where the characters arent constructed around combat abilities, i promise you’ll have more fun.

So this is one of those things that touches on maybe 99% of my feelings on Experiencing Fiction in general and actual play in particular; I apologize in advance for the length and digressions within this response.

Here are the reasons I have seen or I surmise why people don’t like D&D combat, either in actual play or in home games:

It can get crunchy and involves a lot of rules

There are long stretches in which individuals do not necessarily act (not exclusive to combat but I think this is a factor)

It contains violence

There is a potential for character death

Now, it’s fine if you aren’t interested in D&D-style combat, for whatever reason, when you play ttrpgs. It’s just that this is a core feature of D&D. As you say, this is what the martial classes are structured around - and, frankly, no small number of casting classes/subclasses as well. By avoiding it when you play D&D, you’re avoiding the bulk of the game, and there are plenty of ttrpgs that permit open RP that aren’t combat focused that would probably fit your needs better (eg: PbtA and Savage Worlds are both generic systems that can support a heroic fantasy like D&D without the emphasis on combat skills). I happen to love and prefer D&D, but that is specifically because I love combat, and yeah, there are other games and people should seek out those games if they don’t like combat.

When it comes to D&D actual play though…skipping combat is just straight-up stupid. And to be clear I mean fully skipping it and not watching it at all; while this is piggybacking off my post about spoilers, it’s fine if you are the sort of person who needs to know how combat ends in order to enjoy it! That’s just a personal preference that I respect even if I don’t share it.

D&D combat isn’t just an inherent part of the game; it’s an inherent part of the story. The idea of D&D being split into combat and RP is a false dichotomy. There is RP and crucial story within combat scenes, and you simply do not achieve the same effects by reading an after-the-fact summary. To use examples from Critical Role, consider one of the most famous RP moments from Campaign 1, when Scanlan uses his 9th level counterspell in the Vecna fight. The weight of that moment derives from mechanics and from the fact that it is in the midst of combat and well into a climatic final battle. Or for lighter examples, there’s a ton of Beau/Yasha and Fjord/Jester mid-combat flirting running through much of Campaign 2 that informs those relationships. Molly’s death? Caleb going into a fugue state when he kills humanoids with fire? Yasha destroying Obann? Fjord dying mid-deep scion fight? Those are all moments that have deep character weight and meaning that are within the context of combat, and you cannot divorce them from that context and hope to retain the same effect.

This is what dovetails into a larger discussion of Experiencing Fiction which is a (in my opinion) worrying tendency among some people to truly believe that you can cut up media into the palatable bits and pieces and push all of what you see as icky vegetables to the side of your plate. I fucking hate this. I think it’s what drives a lot of things including a distaste for combat. This is how you get, for example, people who dislike combat because Violence And Death Bad, which, do I think that in the real world violence is most often a thing to be avoided? Do I think that in the real world death is heartbreaking? Yes, but this is fiction. There’s that great Brennan Lee Mulligan quote about how TTRPGs like D&D allow people who usually must be conflict-avoidant in real life to let out their anger and frustration in a place where it is safe and harmless, and I believe that whole-heartedly. I want stories about death because I want to know I'm not alone in how I feel about death. I want stories in which people can express their rage in ways both healthy and unhealthy, because big same. (I also think it’s absolutely not coincidental that people who believe they are ‘protecting’ people by circumscribing what is acceptable in fiction tend to be strongly associated with either bigoted, violent policies in real life, or harassment and doxxing online; maybe enjoy a fucked up movie, as John Waters once said, and you'll calm down.)

This idea that you can cut up media and only consume what you like is also what I think is behind some of the really ill-considered and overly granular timestamped content warnings I’ve mentioned previously. It is fine if there are things you don’t want to watch or which will be upsetting or even triggering to watch! It’s fine if you as an individual don’t like violence! But I think there’s a problem when people believe they are entitled to be able to watch whatever they want and have it mold to their exact wants and needs (and that it’s a failing if it doesn’t), rather than taking on the responsibility of seeking out media that already fits the bill. Actual Play D&D will nearly always have violent encounters. If this will be an issue this is not for you. It is not gatekeeping to say “you can come through this gate, but the gate is in fact here for your specifically requested protection"; and yet people think that instead, gates should be placed around everything else. So (to give an example) this is why the warnings for D20’s Neverafter strike me as a symptom of this larger problem - if you have discomfort with violence towards animals and children, that’s fine, but you are watching a D&D horror series in which over half the player characters are either animals or children. This is not something where you can skip a few seconds of a flashing gif that might be a migraine or seizure trigger, or a case where an exceptionally rough scene of gaslighting can be read instead of watched; this is inherent to the show, and if this is not for you, you need to go elsewhere.

To give one last example, I was looking for fanart for Worlds Beyond Number, and came across a picture of Suvi with a caption of “Suvi but without the imperialism” and like…Aabria has said in interviews that this engagement with the empire is extremely deliberate; that Suvi is intended to be tied into the political structures of this world as an intentional contrast with Eursulon’s status as an outsider and Ame’s role at the smaller, community level. Suvi without imperialism is not identifiable as the same character and it throws the entire story off-kilter; she is of this empire and that is the fucking point. Any story worth telling is not just items thrown haphazardly into a bowl; they are combined and mixed. Someone is giving you a plate of brownies and you are acting like it’s physically possible to take out the cocoa powder without fucking the end result, and buddy, it’s not.

(Truly, I was not joking when I said this is like, the load-bearing pillar of most of my complaints about fiction consumption patterns in general. This is about how people will deny the flaws in characters even though any reasonably intelligent ten-year-old, and I know because I fucking was one once, understands that person vs. themself is one of the core conflicts and overcoming one’s flaws is in many cases the entire story and if you start out perfect there is nothing to be said. Like…I think a lot of people genuinely just want to watch a nonstop Monterey Bay Otter Cam of their sufficiently sanitized, focus-group-tested blorbos baking cookies together, and are affronted when people with the tiniest sliver of empathy and/or curiosity want a story with plot and character growth, which in turn require conflict.)

Anyway. I think the takeaways here are that there’s this awful entitlement people have in which they think that they can simply consume anything and it is the failure of that media if it doesn’t cater specifically to them, rather than a failure of them to seek out that which they would enjoy (and I could go on this rant indefinitely; it is truly the most constant theme among Takes I Think Are Dumb); and also I really want to bake something right now, given my choices of metaphor. Combat is part of D&D as a game and as a storytelling medium, and it is incumbent upon people who do not like combat to find something that doesn’t have D&D combat, rather than try to pull out the vital organs of the story.

#answered #faltermoth #long post #to continue with food metaphors it's really like. you are going to an italian restaurant and being mad there are tomatoes there #girl why are you at the devil's sacrament and so forth #i was going to make a joke about bombing all your coffee shop aus but actually i read a coffee shop au that was like. dark. and good.#(it was also professionally published in a work specifically about retellings though)

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