#dante guinea pig

[iamtheshriekingguineapig]

As the evil monster that I am, I will ask for ★ please Pig

Heeheee, yes, angst. Sad DMC headcannons!

>the bathroom mirror in Dante's shop has been broken for years- shattered, but still in place. Lady's harranged Dante about it for decades, thinking he's too broke or cheap to replace it. Truth is, he busted the thing with his fist during a drunk bender right after the Temen Ni Gru. It was too hard to see that sorrowful face, exactly like his, looking back at him.

>there are certain scars that Dante has wished he could keep. His body heals so fast and so well, no marks are left behind by his wounds. Normally this would be a good thing, but with all the scars on his heart and mind, it'd be kind of nice to see that same reflection on his body- on the palm of his hand. Because if he can't see where the Yamato cut his palm, did it even really happen? Did it mean anything? Does his grief get to be real if no one else can see the evidence of it? Some scars would be nice to have, if only so that the outside matched the inside.

>Nero never got taught how to properly manage his emotions (obviously) while loving in a cult. Nowadays, sadness, fear, insecurity, they all manifest as anger and bravado. If not that, then he shuts it down, tucks the painful memories away- just doesn't feel, not until the quiet of the night, lying next to Kyrie and still feeling completely alone.

That's what I got for now unless you have specific characte requests! Thanks!

[gildedmothroot]

owowowafds everyone has their titles! i wanna shout out three of my since passed guinea pigs-- atticus, the distinguished gentleman, brioche, aka bread the bitch (she was full of rage), and aurora, aka chooonkk / chonky peegy

i would do unspeakable things to ensure my guinea pig herd and rabbits have a quality salad each night.

hey if you have a pet or pets you need to reblog this rn and tell me in the tags what their names are. bonus points for including what kind of animal.

[of-pale]

Can't make an omelette without the burning desire to crack someone's skull

It was a relatively peaceful morning at Devil May Cry, if one considers a half-demon trying to figure out how to make an omelette after decades of not even touching proper food 'peaceful'. Not to mention another half-demon, full-time idiot constantly pushing the chef's buttons at every opportunity.

“Can you pass the eggs?”

“I don't know, can I?” Dante grinned.

“Depends on your incompetence, I suppose,” Vergil shot him a glare and reached for the eggs.

“Fine, don't get your panties in a twist.” Dante snatched the box of eggs out of his reach. “Here.” By the time Vergil recognized that annoying bratty smirk on Dante's face, it was too late. Dante had cracked an egg open right over his outstretched palm.

“You...” Vergil let the egg slime drip from his palm into a bowl before scrambling it. “You’re eating this one.”

“Had I known it would be this easy to convince you to make me a breakfast—”

Without blinking, Vergil took a literal handful of pepper and dramatically dumped the whole thing into the egg mixture.

“Mmmmm, how did you know I like my food spicy?”

Vergil had planned to use Dante as a guinea pig for his first prepared meal in decades before he even considered making anything for Nero. However, Dante's antics deserved nothing but the most vile thing Vergil could possibly produce. He didn't even bother making sure the omelette wasn't burned, lazily flipping it over once it had nice black, burnt spots on the bottom.

“You're doing it wrong.”

“You don't say.”

“Step aside, peasant. Let me show you how pros do it.” Dante bumped into him on purpose, trying to take over the pan. “Hands off my macaroni!”

“Dante… it's an omelette,” Vergil said, despite its questionable status as an edible food item.

“Ye, but I always wanted to say that.”

Vergil’s work here was done; there was no redeeming the omelette, so with a sigh, he let Dante take the reins.

“Now check this out,” Dante skillfully flipped the omelette, shoving it forward in the pan and catching it midair as it spun around. “That's how it’s done!” He did it again, like the show-off he loved to be.

“You need to cook the other side, so stop flipping it.”

“Fiiine, killjoy. Got no appreciation for the fine art of—” As Dante flipped the omelette again, the handle on the pan decided to give out and snap off, sending the hot pan and its contents clattering onto the floor.

Silence never lasted more than a few seconds where Dante was concerned. “Aw, shucks. Was my favourite pan too.”

“It's your only pan.”

“Doesn't change the fact that it's my favourite,” Dante shrugged casually. “You know what they say—ten second rule.”

Vergil watched in horror as Dante ducked down and swept the spilled contents from the floor back into the pan. Dante lifted a piece of the half-burned, half-raw egg amalgamation and took a hearty bite like it wasn't peppered beyond reason.

“Could use a bit more salt,” he said nonchalantly, taking another bite.

Vergil could only blink slowly in disbelief. “You repulse me.”

“No way would I miss your first attempt at cooking in decades,” Dante said through a full mouth, happily munching away at the absolute war crime of an omelette.

[imperfectnothing]

intro post :)

Hello!! It is me, Rock, the guy behind @rockwgooglyeyes um yeah I decided to finally bite the bullet and make an alnst-oc specific blog because I have so many at this point 😔

My original characters that will be the focus on this blog include:

Nyx (Onyx) or specimen #001247, 20 years old, he/him trans man, season 39 participant and escapee. He has three kids that all belong to @apriciticreveries, Asahi, Yami, and Natsuki

Dian (291341), 19 years old, he/they gnc cis man, Alumni of Anakt Class 39, Nyx's boyfriend. Owned by Teneb

Nausikaa (007793), ~27 years old, she/her trans woman, former student of Anakt Class 40 and current member of the rebellion (Setup and Takedown). Created to hunt down lost human pets.

Yumi (027819), 20 years old, she/her & agender, Anakt Class 40, a selectively mute individual and Asahi's girlfriend

Asuka (217342), 22 years old, he/him gnc cis man, Anakt Class 40, Isla (@nottoonedin)'s younger brother and Leto (@paradisedisconcert)'s boyfriend. A mischievous crow boy

Faisal (0010011), 25 years old, he/him cis man, Anakt Class 40, announcer of Season 40 of ALNST alongside Zhuli

Dante (291353), 21 years old, he/any trans man, Anakt Class 40, assassin and AREPH guinea pig who is obsessed with Sirius (@junebluues)

Mori (1101011), 23 years old, she/any trans woman, Anakt Class 41, a intimidating young woman who never seems to get angry or sad. Very attached to Light (@bluemoonscape)

Memento (1101101), 23 years old, she/her cis woman, Anakt Class 41, a neurotic young woman who has a complicated past with Mori. Jumps at her own shadow. Down bad for Akari (@disillusionedhope)

Hisoka (110076), 21 years old, he/him trans man, Anakt class 41, a strange and eccentric young man who always seems to know more than he should.

Edit: please feel free to ask about friendships/relationships with any of these bastards /aff. Hisoka is romantically available currently

That's all of the ocs that will actually be featured in their own seasons . . . I will probably end up talking about Haneul & Faolán as well (they are Nyx and Mori's parents) because they have a connected to Caskyo as well as Mori & Nyx (and Haneul won season 37). Cam, Dian and Faisal's older sibling, might come up as well but that's not. set in stone. I just wanted to make this blog for easier organization but no one has any obligation to follow it or pay attention to it!

I hope you have a good day <3

[andreabaideas]

What costumes would DJATS characters wear for Halloween 1978?

Uhmm, cool one!!! Tough though. I pictured the shows actors and looks for this to work.

The band gets invited to a Halloween promo party at a Haunted mansión themed club party where everyone is presented the fancy way and like going down stairs, as everyone famous or cool IS going...Yeah so they have to be wearing a costume :

Lisa & Warren dresses as Gómez and Morticia Addams, he says that for once Gómez IS played by a latino. He keeps being disgustingly kissy all night long and throwing crass jokes.

Karen dresses in black leather trousers and almost seee through black shirt. She wears tons of makeup. She looks like a Barbie doll gothic edition. She wears red lenses and looks super sexy. Then just before the party she sprays herself with fake Blood and puts fake fangs...etc voila She's a Bloody Vampiress!

+ Graham dresses as a old time XIX cowboy, leather Duster jacket and everything , but Karen convinces him to be a bit more cool and terrifying, to match with her, so he puts some fake Blood on him on his neck and he brings his childhood fake toy gun and a spike , so now he IS a kinda punk Vampire Hunter cowboy. He looks amazing.

Camila dresses as a Vampire too, with sexy make Up (see Camila Morrone Nars Lipstick promo makeup) with a long flowy classy black dress and puts a very simple neck two fangs wounds. She sews a tiny black Witch dress with shiny bits,very pretty, 20's like gown for Julia, with a hat and everything, the hat part IS constantly rejected by Julia , that has other plans...and throws a tantrum until she gets to...wear a red wig, to be dressed as Daisy.

Billy Finally convinces Julia to be a Mini redhead Witch , so both his Girls are Happy. Julia gets the wig, but throws her hat all the time, Camila seems content, but is slightly sad and holds Julia's hat all the time she throws it away . Only just with the shiny black dress (that looks eerily very similar to the dying on the shower Daisy's outfit) she totally traumatises (unwillingly) Billy (for obvious ptsd reasons).

Speaking about the devilBilly...He hates this kinds of things, he always dress as himself with a sticker putting : Myself or alt "RockStar" or "Julia's Dad " "Camis husband" "Graham bro" "Daisy's Shithead"...Etc XD.

This year, and after :

1- Daisys jocking taunting him about last years non effort crappy costumes (75' 76' and 77' previous home parties).

2- Camila's sadness over the hat she made for Julia

and

3 - Julias tantrum.

He , for once, says fuck It! , and makes a Halloween effort, and a great one. He buys a profesional costume like those wore by actors. He looks sexy , regal like he just came out of the XIX century... And he dresses as a Classy regency Vampire, He even cuts his hair shorter just before the party, like when he was twelve, because Camila had told him that He would look super cute like that now too, to surprise her and make her Happy, after Julia's drama. Then he puts into good use the new beard he was growing (my inspo was thirsting over Sam dressed as Edmond Dantes at some of The Count of Montecristo promo pics and It showed XD). Also he wears fake fangs and a bit of fake Blood on his lower lip. He looks like The sexiest™.

Simone accompanies Billy for the surprise to her old time expensive costume store , and she dresses as a old time Queen Voodoo Witch (picture Marie Laveau) She looks like a queen (like always).

Bernie and Eddie dresses as a pair of terryfying realistic Zombies, as they both went to remind Daisy about the party (Bernie ordered by Simone and Eddie by Rod) ; then she uses them as her Makeup Guinea pigs... And gives them some clothes - that the lousy Nicky left forgotten at her House after the breakup- covered in strawberry Jelly. Then she creates fake wounds on both of them with melted cheese sheets and makeup on their skins, to create realistic fake wounds that seems ripped chomps of skin and meat. The both look like munched corpses. They scare themselves and the others. Simone IS super traumatised for Bernie. They are delighted if cheesy smeling XD. Warren jokingly steals one wound from Eddie and eats It. Everyone goes eew!!!

Rod dressed as Drácula a la Bela Lugosi. Super dapper.

Teddy dresses as an ancient Warlock, like Gandalf lord of the rings book drawings.

Daisy comes 2h'30 mins late, everyone thinks she forgot...and to be honest she kinda did forget about the party the first 30 min , until she got reminded by her dear zombies XD

But nope, shell be the Halloween Queen , she IS secretly that "unhinged for Halloween" group friend who likes to traumatise the rest,. She puts a super sexy silky White dress (inspo IS a dress Riley wore once silky and White) , but as she has inherited her father artistic drawing talent , she draws wounds on herself too, she puts something sticky red on those face and arms wounds, and some Green juice too, then she wets and messies her hair too, and goes shoeless...As adult Regan from the exorcist.

Also - as the dramatic little shit she is (affectionately)- She enters the party doing theatrics mimicking the unfamous stairs scene (those artistic gymnastic classes paid by her parents should be put on good use right?) Almost everyone feels like fainting or gets trauma wide mouthed, then as she stoods Up, Daisy just evil laughs...XD

Only one not traumatised , Its tiny Julia, who inmediatelly goes to Daisy hugs her and ask her if she likes her costume . Daisy praises Julias costume, as her "Kid self" was a terrifying little Monster, and after watching Camila holding the hat and Billy trauma face when watching Julia, she convinces Julia into wearing the hat and of being Witchy Baby!Daisy , as she always wanted to be a Witch as a kid. Camila silently thanks her. Billy seems relieved.

Julia then slightly concerned asks Daisy if she got chickenpox " like I did when I started school" and then scrached like she did XD

Billy almost dies of laughter after that.

Everyone relaxes then and has a great time.

Julia wins the costumes kids award of the party as Mini Daisy.

Simone wins best female costume. Billy Its tied with Graham as co winners for male costumes. Daisy wins the best scare /scary time , but never gets invited again to the club party, as the old owner almost got a Heart attack XD

She then start a tradition of making a Halloween party at her House... Everyone Its terrified to go (sauf Julia, brave little nugget she IS).

As an Adult Julia grows even more unhinged than Daisy for Halloween...Dressing as Samara from the Ring or as La Llorona and keeps jumping from corners !!! Billy IS very afraid of her during that week and blames everyone for it. Camila shrugs It off, she's used to that dumbasery already XD.

Looong ooneee, I know.

Thats It!

[iamtheshriekingguineapig]

Sparda: it's a work of ART Eva!

Eva: Sparda, it is ugly as all hell.

Sparda: I have seen hell. Hell is uglier.

Eva: doubtful.

Vergil: I think it's neat!

Dante, grumbling: that's because nobody painted you with a stupid look on your face.

Vergil: maybe you just have a stupid face.

Dante: we have the same face!

I imagine Dante and Vergil to be really defensive over that family portrait in their childhood home.

[skiasurveys]

survey #idk

I have Traveled To:

More than three states in the US

Mexico

Canada (tech i live here)

A place that starts with the letter L

Austria

An island

A big city

Anywhere in Africa

Japan

A place where English is not the main language

Anywhere in the southern hemisphere

India

Netherlands

I Have Read:

Any of the Bible

At least two Harry Potter books

The entire Twilight series

Catch-22

Animal Farm

A Dr. Seuss book

Instructions to a piece of Ikea information

A warning label that made me laugh

A biography/autobiography

Dante’s Inferno

A Chuck Palahniuk book

A newspaper in the last week

Something that made me cry

I Like to Eat:

Spam

Mexican food

Brussell sprouts

Onions

Watermelon

Vegan food

Bacon

Chocolate

New things

Escargot

Hummus

Haggis

Indian food

Home cooking

Fast food

My Favorite Actors Include:

Mark Wahlberg

Morgan Freeman

James Franco

Leonardo DiCaprio

Robert DeNiro

Samuel L. Jackson

Chris Hemsworth

Elijah Wood

Johnny Depp

Steve Buscemi

Robin Williams

Jack Black

Channing Tatum

I Have Listened to These Bands:

Taylor Swift

AC/DC

Jay-Z

Frank Sinatra

Pink Floyd

Fall Out Boy

Incubus

No Doubt

The White Stripes

Skrillex

Tenacious D

Metallica

Britney Spears

Ke$ha

The Beatles

I Have/Had These Pets:

Dog

Cat

Horse

Bird

Hamster

Lizard

Snake

Guinea Pig

Goat

Fish

Mouse

Spider

Pig

Hedgehog

Ferret

I Have Seen These Movies:

Fifth Element

Gone With the Wind

Nightmare Before Christmas

High School Musical

Kickin’ It Old School

Casablanca

Predator

White Men Can’t Jump

AVATAR

12 Years A Slave

Saving Private Ryan

MASH

Mamma Mia!

Dark Shadows

Riding In Cars With Boys

If I Could Have A Super Power, I Would Choose:

Mind control

Mind reading

Teleportation

Flying

Bullet-proof

Speed

Super-strength

Invisibility

All-Knowing

X-Ray vision

Freeze-touch

Time traveling

Invulnerability

Telekenisis

I Am Scared of:

Clowns

Heights

Spiders

Open spaces

Small spaces

Vacuums

Snakes

Needles

Strangers

Michael Myers

Bugs

Tiny holes

Highways

Germs

Police

My Favorite Color Is:

Red

Yellow

Orange

Green

Blue

Purple

Gray

Black

Brown

White

Pink

I Am Currently Wearing:

A t-shirt

A hoodie

Capris

Shoes

A bra

Make-up

Perfume

Deodorant

Hat

Something with a superhero/symbol on it

Nail polish

Scarf

Pajamas

Boxers

Sweatpants

I Would Describe My Best Friend As:

Bossy

Intelligent

Promiscuous

Funny

Whiny

Honest

Reliable

Loyal

Lazy

Adventurous

Unique

Complicated

Open-minded

Well-read

In the Last 24 Hours, I Have:

Read

Drank alcohol

Had sex

Eaten meat 

Danced in public

Went swimming

Changed my clothes more than once

Said something mean

Cleaned

Spent money on something pointless

Sang aloud

Met someone new

Played a game of some sort

Things In the Room With Me Now Are:

A TV

Another person

Something that belongs to a child

A pet

Food

Bed

Art

Clock not connected to a phone/computer

A mirror

Medicine

Books

Drugs or alcohol

The Last Person I Texted Is:

My significant other

Someone who sucks at spelling

A different race than me

A relative

Someone I don’t really like

Someone I went to high school with

My best friend

A person I work with

At home

In the room with me

Knows more than one language 

Is female

Is under the age of 21

Someone I live with

I Am For:

Abortion

Death penalty

Amnesty

Gun control

Gay marriage

Prayer in school

War in the middle east

Marijuana legalization

Banning cigarettes in public places

Higher taxes

Higher minimum wage

Standardized testing

Lowering the legal age for drinking

I Have Committed These Crimes:

Jaywalking

Smoking weed

Shooting heroin

Shoplifting

Breaking & entering

Public intoxication

Hit & Run

Speeding

Opening someone else’s mail without their permission

Burglary

Vehicular manslaughter

Lying under oath

Truancy

I Took These Classes In High School/College:

Home Ec

Physics

Photography

Criminal Justice

Journalism

Debate

Creative Writing

Art

Music Theory

Philosophy

French

Theater

Choir

Psychology

What I Watch On TV:

Reality shows about celebrities

Game shows

News

Reruns of classic shows

Award shows

Modern Family

Doctor Who

Scandal

Infomercials

HSN

MTV

Singing competitions

Cooking shows

Traveling shows

[verilyshippable]

immortality and "aging" in the same sentence seem like a contradiction but...

they know about dante, whose demon bloodline makes his age slow, as well as arkham, which is the closest thing to the ascension ceremony (that ive read so far). but there is little information how non-genetic demons age. so they are guinea pigs of their own creations in that sense.

still. they figure if that's how it works with dante, it's the same with non-genetic demons.

[bluravenite]

Mars and Saturn for your ask game! ✨️

mARS!! I finished a line of OC ghouls for my own papa oc!!! I have yet to draw them (aside from Dante) but I am excited !!! Saturn!! CUTE ANIMALS MMM GUINEA PIGS!! RATS!! CATS!! HORSES!! OTTERS!!

[iamtheshriekingguineapig]

Oh well okay. I mean, requests?

Dante smells like sweat and unwashed clothes. Pizza, but the greasy kind. A little brimstone and a lot of sweet campfire smoke. Leather. Bottom shelf whiskey. 3-in-1 shower gel-shampoo-conditioner.

What does vergil smell like?

[captaindibbzy]

By the way, the offer of being my book taste tester is still open.

Have a WIP blurb.

When Joseph Killian, superhero alias Titan and poster child for the super-security juggernaut Celestial, is assigned to mentor newly recruited Dante Palmer, he is not sure what to expect when faced with the man under the mask of the notorious thief, Nightember. Still recovering from a personal loss and a huge change in his personal life, Joseph’s not sure how he is supposed to support and help Dante grow into a superhero he can trust.

Dante Palmer, a decade under his belt as the henchman for hire Nightember, is an infamous man with even more dangerous connections. Avoiding prison and exposure b signing up with Celestial as a guinea pig for their newly created second chance initiative, Dante is ready to try and put his life back together, or at least make an attempt with the help of his brother and fiancée.

The life of a superhero is never easy, though. In between routine hero work, Joseph and Dante find themselves facing old enemies and on the trail of a monster creator threatening to destroy Jefferson City and everyone they love.

[georgi-girl]

Babble: Track Eleven

(if this was a visual medium, I imagine it to have the same artstyle as webcomic Ava's Demon)

Love is a rebellious bird,

That no one can tame,

And it is in vain that it is hailed,

if it is appropriate for it to refuse.

@@@@

Species - "All the humans in our old home were total jerks."

Miguel - "Maybe you just haven't met the right kind of humans."

They watched Renee stimming and playing with Dante.

@@@@

"What does the pink one do?"

"Not that one!"

twang

This was different from the other times. It was as if she was trying different forms like cloths. An old man, a lanky guru, a beautiful woman with long pink hair, then finally, a young man. With dead grey skin.

"You're that little boy we saw... dancing on the tree branch..."

"And the troll we saw in that dream..."

"Who are you?"

" I honestly don't know anymore. There are so many thoughts and memories I don't recognize! So many songs and genres, I don't even... Who the Hair is Viva?" He sat on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest.

Riley slowly approached him. It's okay," she said, "We can sit with you until you sort things out."

Species sat on the other side of the Pop Aspect. "Amazing." he said as he flicked his black hair. "How does it stay up like that?" Then the Pop Aspect smacked his hand away with his hair.

"Ow!" Species recoiled. "Knock it off!" The Pop Aspect snapped.

Zodiac was sketching on some paper. Five little troll boys of different ages dressed in semi matching costumes. "So much info, it's intoxicating."

@@@@

In one room, there were Bergen children. In another room, there was an empty hospital bed. In the final room, they met a lanky well-dressed man holding up a Guinea pig in a suit.

@@@@

Tone agreed to speak with the Bergens from the Clinic window. Riley acted as a go between Bridget watched the exchange from a distance.

“Please understand,” Gristle shouted up, “It was the only way we Bergens can be happy!” Riley shouted back to him; “So hanging out with Bridget didn’t make you happy?” Gristle was too stunned to answer. His aunt whispered to him; “who’s bridget?” Tone glanced at Bridget herself, who was utterly mortified.

The talk was interrupted by loud skittering outside the room. Riley and Tone stepped out to see Miguel wrestling with a skinny guy and Species chasing... what was that?

"It's the guy!" Species yelled. "The guy that sold us out!"

"Oh wow, hang on!" Riley called to them. "I'll get my hockey stick."

She turned away for a second. And Tone held her breath to summon another aspect.

In a flash, a silver woman tackled the Professor. Then she pulled the skinny man away from Miguel. She had pastel rainbow hair and a matching leotard. She tied the Proff up with her hair, and knocked out the skinny man with an axe kick.

Miguel gave an impressed whistle. "You know Taekwondo?"

The woman ~ the K-Pop Aspect ~ grinned proudly. "I teach it."

@@@@

The Guina pig introduced himself as Professor Rupert Marmalade III. Zodiac put themselves in charge of interrogating him.

“I’m gonna eat you!” Species screamed.

“Don’t.” Zodiac stopped him. “he might have information. We’ll talk to him.”

Professor Marmalade (lame name) smiled sardonically at Zodiac and Species.

“Let me guess, they gave you some big speech about how society is against them, and they never had a chance at the good life. I bet they didn’t tell you about all the money they stole, or the homes they robbed, or the people they conned out of hard-earned goods! All that species card crap and they’re nothing but petty criminals!”

Zodiac looked at Species. He didn’t speak up, he just rubbed the back of his neck looking down. They looked back at Rupert and shrugged.

“So? We’ve done way worse than that.”

“What?”

“We’ve grifted, we’ve kidnapped, we killed in self-defense. Some of us even made actual deals with a demon. And that was before we turned into this. Why would we get hung up on something as small-time as robbing banks?”

The Professor stared slack-jawed for a second, then composed himself. “I realized they couldn’t be redeemed, and that they were too dangerous to let live in our home world…”

“No you didn’t. You never actually planned to redeem them. Your original plan was to set them up for your crime. But then someone made you a better offer…”

Their eyes widened, then they turned back to Species. “Okay, now you can eat him!”

“Wait what?” The Professor cringed as Species shifted into snake form and charged at him, mouth wide open. He had no time to run before the python swallowed him. And Species had no time to lick his lips before he refluxed and coughed out the Guina Pig.

“HE TASTES TERRIBLE! Species whined, shifting back into his human self. On the floor, Professor Marmalade sat up not dazed or confused but irate and seething. There was a snapping sound from inside his body, then a wet squishing sound. Then, to the shock of everyone, a long green tentacle extended from out of his mouth!

The four young adults instinctively looked at Zodiac for guidance. Zodiac shrugged. “We don’t know what to say, we’re as surprised as you.”

[flirting-with-psychology]

“fool for love”

I have Traveled To: More than three states in the US Mexico Canada A place that starts with the letter L Austria An island A big city Anywhere in Africa Japan A place where English is not the main language Anywhere in the southern hemisphere India Netherlands

I Have Read: Any of the Bible At least two Harry Potter books The entire Twilight series Catch-22 Animal Farm A Dr. Seuss book Instructions to a piece of Ikea information A warning label that made me laugh A biography/autobiography Dante’s Inferno A Chuck Palahniuk book A newspaper in the last week Something that made me cry

I Like to Eat: Spam Mexican food Brussell sprouts Onions Watermelon Vegan food Bacon Chocolate New things Escargot Hummus Haggis Indian food Home cooking Fast food

My Favorite Actors Include: Mark Wahlberg Morgan Freeman James Franco Leonardo DiCaprio Robert DeNiro Samuel L. Jackson Chris Hemsworth Elijah Wood Johnny Depp Steve Buscemi Robin Williams Jack Black Channing Tatum

I Have Listened to These Bands: Taylor Swift AC/DC Jay-Z Frank Sinatra Pink Floyd Fall Out Boy Incubus No Doubt The White Stripes Skrillex Tenacious D Metallica Britney Spears Ke$ha The Beatles

I Have/Had These Pets: Dog Cat Horse Bird Hamster Lizard Snake Guinea Pig Goat Fish Mouse Spider Pig Hedgehog Ferret

I Have Seen These Movies: Fifth Element Gone With the Wind Nightmare Before Christmas High School Musical Kickin’ It Old School Casablanca Predator White Men Can’t Jump AVATAR 12 Years A Slave Saving Private Ryan MASH Mamma Mia! Dark Shadows Riding In Cars With Boys

If I Could Have A Super Power, I Would Choose: Mind control Mind reading Teleportation Flying Bullet-proof Speed Super-strength Invisibility All-Knowing X-Ray vision Freeze-touch Time traveling Invulnerability Telekenisis

I Am Scared of: Clowns Heights Spiders Open spaces Small spaces Vacuums Snakes Needles Strangers Michael Myers Bugs Tiny holes Highways Germs Police

My Favorite Color Is: Red Yellow Orange Green Blue Purple Gray Black Brown White Pink

I Am Currently Wearing: A t-shirt A hoodie Capris Shoes A bra Make-up Perfume Deodorant Hat Something with a superhero/symbol on it Nail polish Scarf Pajamas Boxers Sweatpants

I Would Describe My Best Friend As: Bossy Intelligent Promiscuous Funny Whiny Honest Reliable Loyal Lazy Adventurous Unique Complicated Open-minded Well-read

In the Last 24 Hours, I Have: Read Drank alcohol Had sex Eaten meat  Danced in public Went swimming Changed my clothes more than once Said something mean Cleaned Spent money on something pointless Sang aloud Met someone new Played a game of some sort

Things In the Room With Me Now Are: A TV Another person Something that belongs to a child A pet Food Bed Art Clock not connected to a phone/computer A mirror Medicine Books Drugs or alcohol

The Last Person I Texted Is: My significant other Someone who sucks at spelling A different race than me A relative Someone I don’t really like Someone I went to high school with My best friend A person I work with At home In the room with me Knows more than one language (not sure) Is female Is under the age of 21 Someone I live with

I Am For: Abortion Death penalty Amnesty Gun control Gay marriage Prayer in school War in the middle east Marijuana legalization Banning cigarettes in public places Higher taxes Higher minimum wage Standardized testing Lowering the legal age for drinking

I Have Committed These Crimes: Jaywalking Smoking weed Shooting heroin Shoplifting Breaking & entering Public intoxication Hit & Run Speeding Opening someone else’s mail without their permission Burglary Vehicular manslaughter Lying under oath Truancy

I Took These Classes In High School/College: Home Ec Physics Photography Criminal Justice Journalism Debate Creative Writing Art Music Theory Philosophy French Theater Choir Psychology

What I Watch On TV: Reality shows about celebrities Game shows News Reruns of classic shows Award shows Modern Family Doctor Who Scandal Infomercials HSN MTV Singing competitions Cooking shows Traveling shows

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

426 of 2023

“fool for love”

I have Traveled To: More than three states in the US Mexico Canada A place that starts with the letter L Austria An island A big city Anywhere in Africa Japan A place where English is not the main language Anywhere in the southern hemisphere India Netherlands

I Have Read: Any of the Bible At least two Harry Potter books The entire Twilight series Catch-22 Animal Farm A Dr. Seuss book Instructions to a piece of Ikea information A warning label that made me laugh A biography/autobiography Dante’s Inferno A Chuck Palahniuk book A newspaper in the last week Something that made me cry

I Like to Eat: Spam Mexican food Brussell sprouts Onions Watermelon Vegan food Bacon Chocolate New things Escargot Hummus Haggis Indian food Home cooking Fast food

My Favorite Actors Include: Mark Wahlberg Morgan Freeman James Franco Leonardo DiCaprio Robert DeNiro Samuel L. Jackson Chris Hemsworth Elijah Wood Johnny Depp Steve Buscemi Robin Williams Jack Black Channing Tatum

I Have Listened to These Bands: Taylor Swift AC/DC Jay-Z Frank Sinatra Pink Floyd Fall Out Boy Incubus No Doubt The White Stripes Skrillex Tenacious D Metallica Britney Spears Ke$ha The Beatles

I Have/Had These Pets: Dog Cat Horse Bird Hamster Lizard Snake Guinea Pig Goat Fish Mouse Spider Pig Hedgehog Ferret

I Have Seen These Movies: Fifth Element Gone With the Wind Nightmare Before Christmas High School Musical Kickin’ It Old School Casablanca Predator White Men Can’t Jump AVATAR 12 Years A Slave Saving Private Ryan MASH Mamma Mia! Dark Shadows Riding In Cars With Boys

If I Could Have A Super Power, I Would Choose: Mind control Mind reading Teleportation Flying Bullet-proof Speed Super-strength Invisibility All-Knowing X-Ray vision Freeze-touch Time traveling Invulnerability Telekenisis

I Am Scared of: Clowns Heights Spiders Open spaces Small spaces Vacuums Snakes Needles Strangers Michael Myers Bugs Tiny holes Highways Germs Police

My Favorite Color Is: Red Yellow Orange Green Blue Purple Gray Black Brown White Pink

I Am Currently Wearing: A t-shirt A hoodie Capris Shoes A bra Make-up Perfume Deodorant Hat Something with a superhero/symbol on it Nail polish Scarf Pajamas Boxers Sweatpants

I Would Describe My Best Friend As: Bossy Intelligent Promiscuous Funny Whiny Honest Reliable Loyal Lazy Adventurous Unique Complicated Open-minded Well-read

In the Last 24 Hours, I Have: Read Drank alcohol Had sex Eaten meat (ew!) Danced in public Went swimming Changed my clothes more than once Said something mean Cleaned Spent money on something pointless Sang aloud Met someone new Played a game of some sort

Things In the Room With Me Now Are: A TV Another person Something that belongs to a child A pet Food Bed Art Clock not connected to a phone/computer A mirror Medicine Books Drugs or alcohol

The Last Person I Texted Is: My significant other Someone who sucks at spelling A different race than me A relative Someone I don’t really like Someone I went to high school with My best friend A person I work with At home In the room with me Knows more than one language Is female Is under the age of 21 Someone I live with

I Am For: Abortion Death penalty Amnesty Gun control Gay marriage Prayer in school War in the middle east Marijuana legalization Banning cigarettes in public places Higher taxes Higher minimum wage Standardized testing Lowering the legal age for drinking

I Have Committed These Crimes: Jaywalking Smoking weed Shooting heroin Shoplifting Breaking & entering Public intoxication Hit & Run Speeding Opening someone else’s mail without their permission Burglary Vehicular manslaughter Lying under oath Truancy

I Took These Classes In High School: Home Ec Physics Photography Criminal Justice Journalism Debate Creative Writing Art Music Theory Philosophy French Theater Choir Psychology

What I Watch On TV: Reality shows about celebrities Game shows News Reruns of classic shows Award shows Modern Family Doctor Who Scandal Infomercials HSN MTV Singing competitions Cooking shows Traveling shows

[mechazushi]

Addition to the AU's = Kafka runs a food truck.

What it says on the tin, but here's what my story would look like if I had the mental space and free time to write this out completely.

Kafka has a food truck that serves fusion food. I'm not talking tex-mex or something simple, I'm talking Korean-Canadian and Mongolian-Mediterranean. The menu is seasonal. He's usually camped out by a large military base that Mina works at. She's a corporal and abuses her power to let Kafka park out front because she likes the food and acts as a guinea pig for new meal ideas.

Isao is a CEO of a real estate company and Hoshina is his "Assistant". The man's practically his work butler, doing a ton of sh*t an assistant shouldn't be doing, but he gets paid for everything appropriately so he doesn't mind much.

Isao's wife is dead and the two of them were really into adoption. Their current children are Kikoru, Reno, and Gen. Kikoru is in high school and wants to aim for a business degree. Reno is aiming to be a professional soccer player, his team mates are Iharu, Haruichi, and Aoi. Gen went through a phase where any hobbies he tried, he tried to treat it as a get-rich-quick scheme, and when it didn't pan out he dropped the hobby. He's currently a podcaster/ COD gamer. (He's like the Dantes of this version of the world)

there's a meet-cute moment where Hoshina meets Kafka at a public park and Reno's team all rush to the Truck for food. Kafka sees the distress Hoshina goes through when they snatch his credit card to pay for the team's meal. He writes his number on Hoshina's box and says "If you can find me later in life, your next 12 meals are on me *wink*" (Because 12 kids abused the card for meals)

Que Hoshina abusing his position in the real estate industry to hunt down Kafka's truck (and eventually convince him to park outside of his office building more often)

Kaiju Number 8 AU ideas (Cuz' now I have several :-| ) [mostly KafHoshi flavored]

Genderbend AU: Kafka is a wholesome, supportive, big titty tomboy Blue collar girlfriend and Hoshina is a small titty, punk gf who runs a martial arts dojo and is a closeted manic pixie dream girl who need the emotional support to follow her dreams.

2. OOPS! All Kaiju!: Iharu (bright pink with wings), Aoi (navy blue with armor plating), Haruichi (sea foam green and spikes?/acid?/speedy? just double checked its definitely projectile spikes), and Kikoru (lemon yellow and blade creation/ manipulation) all undergo the same kaiju-ification process that Kafka went through and now he has to act as the Peter B. Parker of the group.

"Yes, you shed like a lizard does. It takes a month and it sucks the entire time. For the love of GOD, don't pick at it until it's ready otherwise you end up with rashes."

You could include Reno in there, I'm sure he'd have a badass design, but I didn't because I want to put him through the same mental downward spiral that I think Hoshina would go through when they realize they're into monsterf*cking.

Reno is just sitting there like "What is wrong with me?" and Hoshina is standing next to him with a blender bottle saying

"Bit of advice? Get over it soon because fighting the post nut clarity is not worth it."

To which Reno asks "How would you know?" as Hoshina's eyes pan over to Kafka who's teaching Iharu how to use his new kaiju tongue to eat out a pint sized ice cream container.

"O-oh...." Reno says as realization dawns on him.

"Yeah" Hoshina says as he smacks his lips, "That could be us right now."

"SI-SIR!"

"Hey, don't act like you weren't thinking it too."

3. Model AU: Mina runs a modeling agency and Hoshina is a talent scout. She sends him to find people that a modeling agency wouldn't typically consider for modeling in an attempt to showcase diversity in a positive light. Not knowing where to start, Hoshina heads to a bar and accidentally meets Kafka. The two talk and it comes up in conversation what Hoshina has been set out to do. As a joke, Kafka makes a bet that Hoshina can't make a garbage man be the next top model. (he's the garbage man in question.)

Kafka and Mina know each other. They fell out of contact when Mina made it into college and Kafka had to help support his grandparents through a rough time. Hoshina then hires Aoi (blasian) Haruichi (top surgery scars) and a delinquent brother-sister duo for the teen division (Iharu and Kikoru, who are orphans being raised by their successful gamer live-streamer older brother Narumi. I'm aware this part's a bit of a stretch, so just consider it a non-essential personal flair.) Reno was already a part of the modeling agency but had started to have problems dealing with body image, which Kafka helps correct and sets him on a healthier path. Iharu and Reno later become actors in a popular Power Rangers knock off show and become a canon couple on and off set.

[iamtheshriekingguineapig]

Y'all ever wonder what would happen if, post DMC 5, Sparda just like... showed up again?

Like, maybe for him no time has passed at all and he thinks it's still 1980-somethin'and he shows up and his house is in ruins. And his family is long gone. And so he starts searching, and he hears about the Temin-Ni-Gru and the Qliphoth and he hears about Dante and the Devil May Cry. And so he goes to reunite with his sons....

And Dante just double-boot-DMC4-Nero-kicks him in the face.