#danny wants to kill himself and steve

[forcedhesitation]

why should it just be steve who has all the torturous purgatory realm fun?

[eddiethebrave]

secret admirer part fourteen

442 words

one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen

On Saturday, Steve invites Carol over. He would usually hang out with Tommy (which has included Carol more often than not recently, anyway) but he’s visiting family over the weekend. Steve didn’t want to sit around the house or go out alone and he figured there’s no reason he and Carol can’t hang out without Tommy there, too. 

He’d never admit it to either of them, but he’s honestly liking her better lately, and would prefer her company to his, anyway. 

Tommy’s always been an asshole, but he’s growing more and more, like, genuinely mean as the days go on. For no reason, too. It’s kinda scary to see the kid he used to climb trees and learn how to swim with so filled with anger that he’s willing to hurt people to get temporary relief. Anger that he likes to take out on kids at school who do nothing to him. 

Carol isn’t angry. She’s kinda entertaining, actually. 

“Then she started talking about some guy who cut off his own ear and killed himself! Like, what?! What does that have to do with anything? All I said was that I don’t see why we have to make stupid drawings of ourselves!”

Steve nods along as he shuffles through his fridge trying to decide on something to make for lunch.  

“And she- Oh my god,” Carol cuts herself off. “Did you see what she was wearing?��

Steve pulls out sandwich supplies and shakes his head. “Nope. What was she wearing?” he asks, knowing damn well what she was wearing. 

“A sweater vest. With a tie!” 

Steve snorts. “Oh, the horror.”

“And she had these rings- Well, actually, the rings were kind of cute, but her shoes were all marked up with pen. Pen!”

“You kinda sound like-” Steve cuts himself off when he realizes where he was going with that sentence. 

You kinda sound like me when I think about Eddie.

When he looks over to Carol to see if she noticed his slip up, he finds her looking at him with her eyes narrowed from where she’s sat on his counter even though he’d protested (No, no, no, come on! I eat there!). He clamps his teeth down on his cheek. 

“Sound like what?” she asks. The question by itself would be innocent, but combined with her crossed arms and glare, it comes off as defensive. 

“Like you really don't like her,” he deflects and turns back to the sandwiches. 

From the corner of his eye, he sees Carol slump. She scoffs. “Yeah, ‘cause I don’t.”

Steve can practically see her pout. 

It’s quiet for a moment. Then, “Ham or Turkey?”

fifteen

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sorry if i missed anyone!!

[alea-says]

More H50 2x15 mcdanno comments...

* the way Grace asks where her mum or uncle Steve are - she knows if Danny was injured one of them would come for her, which says a lot about Steve's place in her life

* the way when Danny says that Grace is at a tennis lesson, Steve tells Chin which tennis place she's at - he knows which club she has her lessons at, but Chin is not expected to know this

* the way Steve is so visibly stressed when they realise Grace has been taken and he can't get a hold of Danny and he needs to make a decision about what they should do cos he's the boss, but he's visibly trying to pull himself together and focus and even when he manages to focus he's so emotional in a way he never is with cases. Like, he always cares, but this time he's rattled.

* the way Steve just yells Danny's name (multiple times) when they get to the park. He sends Kono and Chin to deal with the bad guy, and his focus is just on Danny.

* it's Steve there with Danny when they rescue Grace, right beside him, untying her, etc.

Not mcdanno but...

I can't comment on this ep without also commenting on how much I appreciate Stan in this episode.

When Danny says he needs to meet him, Stan's first thought is Grace.

When Danny says he needs to shoot him or some guy is going to kill Grace - Stan accepts it. He basically agrees to it. Because it's for Grace.

And I know in s1 he's set up as the 'bad guy' from Danny's POV because he gets time with Rachel and Grace, but I so wanted them to follow through on this moment here - where Danny and Stan are united in their desire to protect Grace and willing to do anything for her.

It would have made such a great starting point for them to start understanding each other, etc. They may never like each other but they both put Grace first.

And think that's also very telling about Stan. That he's okay with getting shot if it's for Grace. He loves her. He cares for her as a father. He's not just putting up with her so he can have Rachel - and I think that's very important to acknowledge.

(But the show was far too focused on making Danny and Stan rivals for Rachel's attention because don't we all know that Danny's straight? Here's proof. No, I'm not bitter about the comphet at all)

[nobigsecrets]

H50 Fic Recs

Light At The End Of The Tunnel by bluflamingo Rating: T, Words: 3,191 The first time Catherine meets Steve, he's a voice on the other end of the radio, asking for her help.

Where lies the final harbor? by @missslothy Rating: M, Words: 48,643 Steve and Danny had finally admitted their feelings for each other just three days before the events of Season 10 Episode 7. Can their new relationship survive the fallout from what happened in Mexico and Doris's death? (Coda to 10x07)

Agitated States of Amazement by @emphasisonthehomo Rating: T, Words: 5,823 He meets Stef when he’s like 18, on a sub-reddit that doesn’t exist anymore. She’s kind of a huge fucking cunt. Danny’s kind of in love with her. OR: Sometimes the people you meet on the internet stick with you.

I’m dumb she’s a lesbian (I thought I had found the one) by @five-wow Rating: G, Words: 1,299 Danny waves his coffee around a little more. The lid is the only thing that prevents them from having to dig up a mop. “What’d I do? All I did is tell her you’re handsome and single and free Friday night.” “You were setting us up,” Quinn summarizes. Or: Just another morning in the life of Steve McGarrett, whose best friend is deeply concerned with getting him a date.

COMPETITIVE BY NATURE by alizarin_nyc Rating: E, Words: 2,701 "Oh come on, that isn’t gay," Steve says. "I was in high school. You’re gay, you’re totally gayer than me. Your pants are tight across the ass!” Steve has his little protesty face on and it’s exactly like his earnest, don’t-worry-we’ll-catch-your-husband’s-killer face. It is so, so gay.

Does This Marriage Come With Any Perks? by @pterawaters Rating: T, Words: 3,369 After Danny suffers a life-threatening injury, he finds himself in Steve’s care. He doesn’t remember much about what happened after getting shot, but he’s pretty sure signing a marriage certificate wasn’t something he’d forget.

Sometimes You Just Need a Decoder Ring by kho Rating: T, Words: 2,849 Danny follows Steve into the kitchen and sticks the beers in the fridge. “Actually I’m of the mind that it takes two to tango so I don’t know who started and who fueled but you’re both in this fight, so I’m just trying to figure out how to diffuse this situation so I don’t wind up as collateral damage.” (Mary & Steve centric)

You Move Me by dogeared Rating: M, Words: 486 Yoga, and waffles, and kisses.

Pick up line by kaige68 Rating: T, Words: 100 Prompt from kapuahi, Hawaii Five-0, McDanno, Steve loses a bet with his Navy mates and has to dress in drag Bonus points if someone (Danny) tries to chat up Lady!Steve

Careful, or you'll end up in my novel by kaige68 Rating: M, Words: 2,200 Former Newark police detective, now mystery, writer Danny Williams follows his daughter to Hawaii, and meets his biggest fan.

I Want A Man With A Slow Hand by thefourofswords Rating: E, Words: 6,597 “Can I ask you a question?” he asked on their way to a crime scene, because no time like the present, and Danny believed in ripping off band-aids. “Why not?” Steve replied, eyes on the road. “You’re gonna even if I say no.” “What do you like in bed?” Or: Danny undertakes a very important mission to get Steve laid. For his health. Ahem.

As You Wish by Brumeier Rating: M, Words: 4,077 When Steve comes back to Hawaii to find the man who killed his father he finds much more when he stumbles across a mysterious bottle on the beach.

Just Enough Hope by aries_taurus Rating: T, Words: 2,594 He hopes for a lot of things: that he didn’t make a mistake taking on this taskforce, that the ache he’s feeling in his soul will go away, that he can sleep at night without seeing his best friend being ripped to shreds by bullets, without remembering he left him behind for nothing, or hear a gunshot killing his father over a bad sat connection and he just hopes he wakes up one day without a scream dying in his throat.

All Hearts Come Home For Christmas by @cowandcalf Rating: E, Words: 12,198 Steve debates for four days if he should eat this year's Christmas dinner in the charity Christmas tent organized for the veterans by HPD.

Built For Tough Battles by thefourofswords Rating: E, Words: 20,770 Adam nudges his shoulder, “He’ll find his way back, you know.” Danny blows out a breath. “I dunno anymore about that. The stuff he’s gone through in the last year...” “He’s had a lot go very wrong, very quickly,” Adam says. “I’m sure it feels like he’s slowly been losing parts of his family and when you reach a certain point, loss aversion takes over. It can make you do crazy things…” Or: Danny waits for Steve to be ready to come back.

Friends don't let friends... by kaige68 Rating: E, Words: 2,008 Steve finds a desolate Adam in a bar. (Steve/Adam)

Foreplay by @stellarmeadow Rating: M, Words: 4,305 When sparring isn't just sparring.

[glisten-inthedark]

Thanks to another mcdanno shipper I was rewatching the 5x15 episode of Hawaii 5-0 and I noticed that we can see the moment Danny figures out Steve is about to throw himself in the line of fire again but this time he just looks done. And I mean done.

He looks like he doesn't have any more fight in him anymore, and you know what sucks? Is that this is right after Matt was confirmed to be dead and Steve almost died at the hands of Wo Fat. In 5x07 Danny gets to that evil lair and we can see he thinks his partner, most of his entire universe alongside his children (did he already know about Charlie? Tbh I don't remember but anywho) is dead.

So by the time we get to 5x15, he just looks done with all of it. Done with Steve acting like his life doesn't matter, like it wouldn't kill Danny to lose him, like it wouldn't be a fate worse than death.

He doesn't even tell Steve to be careful, doesn't even scream and argue with him like he normally would.

Imagine being Danny. Finding someone you connect so deeply with, having this person be part of your heart walking metaphorically out of its chest, only for that person to act like you own fucking heart doesn't matter.

By this point it's almost like Danny wants to say: You love me? If you actually love me, please love yourself more because of you die, there's no point. To anything.

[s10127470]

Danny Phantom vs. Hazbin Hotel: Afterlife Designs

Happy Halloween folks!

This is my first time doing a special post for a holiday.

And for today, I wanted to have this discussion about a topic I had with some friends.

Specifically about two animated shows that both focus on an afterlife.

A poorly-defined and explained afterlife.....

Those two shows are none other than Danny Phantom and Hazbin Hotel.

However, one is able to get more across about that afterlife simply through its character design, while the other doesn't.

And if you haven't guessed already, it's the former.

But before we discuss how DP is able to get across more about its world simply through its character design (along with just having far better ones than Hazbin), first we need to talk about why both these shows have poorly-defined afterlives.

Danny Phantom’s was the result of conflicting visions.

Those being between the show’s infamous creator Butch Hartman, and its main producer and developer Steve Marmel.

Butch wanted the series to be relatively episodic and comedic, while Steve wanted it to be a little more darker and put more emphasis on story and world-building.

This resulted in Steve, along with most of the Season 1 and 2 crew, to leave the show.

There’s also the fact that Nickelodeon didn’t want them to mention the obvious, hence why despite the show being about ghosts, there was hardly ever any mentions of death in general.

And this wouldn’t be the last time they’ve done something like this.

Fellow Nicktoon, Avatar: The Last Airbender, famously killed off the character Jet, who was a one-off character in Book One before becoming a major character in Book Two.

When making his death scene in the episode “Lake Laogai”, Nickelodeon wanted the crew to make this scene more ambiguous.

Which the crew themselves would go on make fun of in the penultimate episode of the series, “The Ember Island Players”.

In the case of Hazbin Hotel, this can be all blamed on VivziePop.

Viz is famous for not exactly being that good at storytelling.

And this is especially the case when it comes to world-building.

She has a bad habit of revealing major details about the world in her chats and streams, and then never bothering to actually implement them into the show.

And when she eventually does implement those details (whenever that'll be), who knows if she'll even keep those details intact.

But with that out of the way, let's talk about the actual character designs.

Color Scheme:

Color schemes are crucial for character design because they directly influence how viewers perceive a character, conveying their personality, mood, and even their role in a story.

The ghosts of Danny Phantom and the sinners of Hazbin Hotel have a primary color: Green and red.

Largely thanks to the realms they inhabit: The Ghost Zone and Hell.

The sinners of Hazbin have been heavily criticized for their heavy use of red in their designs, and the fact that it's prevalent with many of the characters, can make looking at them a bit tiresome.

But the ghosts don't have that problem....

While their primary color is green, if you notice, the amount of green each ghosts has tends to vary.

Some have green eyes like Penelope Spectra, Ember McClain, The Fright Knight, Johnny 13, Walker and even the titular Danny himself.

Some have green hair like Kitty.

Some have green eyes and hair like Skulker and Youngblood.

Or in the case of The Dragon Ghost, scales.

Some have green skin like The Lunch Lady and Technus.

Hell, some don't even have any green like Vlad Plasmius, Sidney Poindexter and The Box Ghost.

Ghosts also have other colors to help balance out of the green.

Skulker for example is primarily made up of gray and black, with a little bit of blue and the aforementioned green.

Another thing that makes the green works is that it's shown to be part of the ghosts' physiology.

While you could argue that this applies to the sinners as well, since they have red in their eyes and hair, but look at these background characters.

There's hardly any red on them.

So this only really applies to the main ones.

(And also yes, just like everyone else, I do agree these guys have far better designs than the main cast).

Body Types:

If you know Viv, you'd know that one of her biggest criticism is her lack of body diversity.

Her characters are infamous for being INSANELY skinny.

Sure you'll get some characters like Adam, Verosika Mayday and Vortex, but they're the expectations.

Actually now I think about it, I think Helluva Boss has more diversity in body types present.

Most of the secondary characters and even I.M.P. themselves have differing body types from each other.

But the ghosts....

Actually, scratch that....

EVERYONE in Danny Phantom have unique and differing body types from each other.

The Danny Phantom characters would definitely pass The Silhouette Test.

The Hazbin characters would barely pass.

Outfits:

A character's outfit can really go a long way.

As it can tell you what a character is like by just looking at them.

Each of the main ghosts get this down right.

Even if you haven't watched Danny Phantom, one glance at each of these guys have already tell you what their deal is.

Skulker is a high-tech hunter.

Sidney Poindexter is a nerd.

Ember is a rockstar.

Johnny is a biker.

Technus is a technological genius.

Desiree is a genie.

Walker is a prison warden.

And The Box Ghost is a total loser.

But if someone who hadn't watched Hazbin Hotel looked at the characters, I'd highly doubt they would be able to get a read on what their deal is.

Maybe except for Charlie and Husk.

There's also the fact that a good chunk of the main cast causally wear formal attire.

Which doesn't make them stand out from each other that much.

Some of the ghosts' attire also give hints to when they lived/died.

Desiree lived during The Ottoman Empire.

The Dragon Ghost lived during The Middle Ages.

The Lunch Lady and Sidney lived during the 1950s.

Johnny and Kitty lived during the 1970s.

And Ember lived during the late-1990s/early-2000s.

The sinners unfortunately lack that.

They don't really have anything that would hint or allude when and where they lived or died.

Physical Traits, Powers and Biology:

One small but strong detail that really makes and breaks the ghosts and sinners are their physical appearances.

While this does get a little muddled for Danny Phantom come Season 2, there is a pretty solid explanation for it.

Throughout Season 1, the major ghosts we're introduced to were either humanoid or animalistic in their physical appearances.

This was a small but subtle detail to imply that the ghosts were, well, the spirits of humans and animals that were once among the living.

However, everything changed with the introduction of Clockwork, the master of all time.

This was quite strange, since he was a ghost.

This only got stranger with the introductions of ghosts like Frostbite and Undergrowth, who despite being ghosts, were notably more monstrous than the ones introduced in Season 1.

However, I think having ghosts there are just monsters or Eldritch-like entities is actually pretty cool.

It really helps makes The Ghost Zone feel like it's own universe and not have it completely be connected to Earth.

Plus, this was actually kinda intended from the beginning.

In the pitch bible for Danny Phantom, The Ghost Zone (originally called The Unreal and eventually Ghost World) was not only suppose to be an afterlife, but also a realm of fantasy, being home to monsters, Eldritch beings, and even mythological creatures.

It seems that for Season 3, Butch decided to go back to that concept.

Mostly like to continue avoiding having to state the obvious.

And given that he would go on record years later to say that ALL of the ghosts of The Ghost Zone were just monsters, I can believe that.

The best showcase of this is in the episode, "Boxed-Up Fury".

In that episode, Danny seeks the help of the actual mythical Pandora, who had her legendary box stolen by Box Ghost, who used it so that could FINALLY be taken seriously by everyone.

Along the way, he faces off against a wide array of monsters from Greek mythology.

These included a hydra, a gorgon, a centaur, a minotaur, and a cyclops.

I think the reason why people took a problem with many of the new ghosts was because the show itself never really explained which ghosts were the souls of the dead and which ghosts were just monsters.

As for the sinners, they're explicit said to be a sub-species of demons that were once humans but died and were sent to Hell.

But with that being considered.....would you be able to see that by just looking at them?

Due to how monstrous and animalistic they look, it's hard to see the sinners as being the living embodiments of once-living humans.

Made even worse with the fact that none of them have any canon backstories to possibly explain their appearances.

Or at least any that have been shown IN THE ACTUAL SHOW.

I know Danny Phantom has a similar problem, but remember, they were being restricted by a creator and a network that were too cowardly to address the damn obvious.

What's Hazbin's excuse?

Hell (heh heh), the sinners could've just easily been regular demons and it wouldn't make much of a difference.

Another thing to note about the ghosts and sinners are their biology.

The ghosts are able to fly, turn invisible, become intangible, immortality, and possess superhuman physicality.

Plus most of them to possess some kind of special ability.

Like Skulker and his ecto-skeleton with a variety of weapons, Desiree and her wish granting, and Johnny 13 and his Shadow that causes bad luck.

The sinners are......kinda lacking in this regard.

They have special abilities (albeit not as flashy or impressive as the ghosts), a few have the ability to transform into larger and stronger forms, and have animalistic tendencies.

And while we're on the topic of biology, we need to address the demon elephant in the room.....

As I just mentioned earlier, the ghosts are immortal, since they're dead.

And with the fact that the sinners are the souls of the dead, you would think they would be immortal too.

But if you've watched the show, then you'd know that isn't the case at all.

Although sinners can't age (dead and all), they can be killed via the use of the angelic weapons.

Who thought this was a good idea?

Just like Mantis said, this makes no sense!

Plus it's totally redundant with the fact that the sinners are already DEAD!

I know some people are gonna bring up Coco, which had The Final Death.

But there, it made sense.

Those living in The Land of the Dead would fade into oblivion after getting forgotten by everyone in the human world.

But in Hazbin, what's their excuse?!

And don't even get me started on how Sir Pentious dies and ends up going to Heaven.....

Also before we move on, I did wanted to bring up a few cool things about the biology of the ghosts.

In the TV movie, "The Ultimate Enemy", we find out that....

-Although ghosts can't die, they can still age, albeit slower than humans.

-Even though they can't die, ghosts can still be badly injured. As we see with Future Ember (who had her vocal chords destroyed) and Johnny (who became a paraplegic).

-Ghosts can even reproduce, with the reveal of Box Lunch, the daughter of The Lunch Lady and The Box Ghost.

As for the sinners.....

They can't age, but they can still die (once again, makes no sense).

And as far as we know, they can't reproduce.....

Which is for the better because the last thing I need to see is Angel Dust being able to have kids.

Anyway, that's all I have for now.

I wanted to do something special for Halloween.

Let me know what you guys think about this post.

And also, let me know if there's anything I missed, because I feel like I missed something in this post.

But until next time.....

[teruel-a-witch]

steve is a ride-or-die husband in married for real

doesn't even ask why danny wants to kill someone, just who, and immediately assumes they will be doing it together, just like everything else.

all jokes aside about how deeply married they are, genuinely it's astounding how truly intertwined their lives are. 'your problems become my problems'. just like in a real marriage there's a certain entitlement towards each other's possessions, 'what's mine is yours and viceversa'.

steve drives danny's car and even danny slips and calls it 'our car'

danny calls steve's living room 'our living room'

'why is he mad at us?' 'must be your fault' aka they share enemies and grudges

steve helps himself to danny's wallet (basically pooled finances) but also drops exorbitant amounts of money on gifts to danny and grace

danny wanders into steve's house without knocking and helps himself to steve's fridge whenever he feels like it

not to mention how possessive he is over steve's kitchen and is indignant when he sees another man using what's his (because when he lived in a shitty apartment he basically used it whenever to learn to cook properly as by the end of s1 he's clearly cooked steve breakfast enough times that steve knows he hates his eggs)

'what are WE thinking, buddy'

co-parenting danny's kids together (steve even calls grace 'my girl' and worries about her being sent to a school that's gonna be a den of sin)

'if a guy was taking pictures like that of my daughter I'd kill him' 'me too'

when danny gets called away for work steve finishes charlie's bedroom by himself and then tells charlie danny did it just like a stay-at-home parent covering up for the busy parent

danny delegates activities he doesn't want to do (jogging, training, surfing) but steve would love to do to him so they are both contributing in raising grace. (meanwhile he hates that stan is paying for her tennis lessons, intruding on something danny willingly lets steve in on)

steve sees danny's retirement as their business, 'our retirement'

they go 50/50 on a restaurant which is danny's dream and steve is nothing if not a supportive husband

all the times danny stays at the house for weeks rent free (and sleeps in steve's bed while house-sitting and blames it on the dog) and moves in twice, second time permanently

dreams of shared future together, 'this is how I always thought it was gonna end, two guys sitting on the beach, watching sunsets'

they really are married in all but the legal sense. it's a mutually beneficial partnership where they are equals not in the sense that they literally contribute the same amount but they contribute what they can in accordance to their ability and compromise and fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. they even have an almost innate telepathy only characteristic of people that have been married for decades.

[ellena-asg]

@neanderthal-pessimist

Babe, you asked about Danny's suicidal thoughts/attempt so here it is.

In 1x18 there is a moment when Danny and Steve have a talk with FBI guys and later, when boys are alone, Danny is devastated by the news about Matt's financial crimes and Steve's "what if Matt is really guilty?". Danny wants Steve to have faith in Matt (or: Danny tries to still believe in his own brother, he wants to be loyal) and there's his confession.

Very dark and painful confession: once Danny thought about suicide (and I guess/interpret that he TRIED to kill himself - and that's why Matt was always there, was there almost 24/7).

Why? Because of damn Rachel. No, it wasn't because of the divorce (he could live without her, he would be happier without her and his mental health would be much better when she's away from him). It was because of Rachel's plays. GRACIE. She used Grace against Danny, she wanted to ruin his fatherhood. She took Grace away from him and was like "You'll lose her, Daniel. I swear" ("I'll punish you, Daniel"). Once she and her mother behaved in toxic and abusive way towards Danny and then, after divorce, Rach ruined Danny's mind again. She knew well what would hurt him, what would really hurt him. She knew well that Grace was Danny's everything. Danny's forever-love. Rach knew where to hit so she hit.

So in 1x18 we can see all Danny's pain. All painful memories. It's a double pain cause it's about Gracie and now also about Matty. Matty saved him. We can say about Matt many things but yeah, he saved Danny's life. He helped Danny to be strong again. He helped him to fight for Gracie. Danny almost lost Grace, almost lost his life (literally and metaphorically) and in this moment he fears that he will lose his brother - a brother who helped him so much.

Gosh, Steve's face. He's shocked. He's terrified. He tries to stay calm but he can't - he's shaking inside. His Danny, his beloved Danny, his angel, best friend, his best human ever, sunshine of his life... Danny almost died. Almost killed himself. Danny. Suicide, fuck. Yes, Steve understands Danny's loyalty and love for Matthew BUT THIS. SUICIDE. Steve can't think about Matt now. He is focused on Danny. On Danny's old pain. He can't believe that his boy tried, thought... His strong, "there's always hope" boy... Fuck. No. God, why? Why Danny had to suffer? Why Danny has to suffer? Oh, Steve knows well that part of the pain is still there - cause Rachel still wants war. She is still mean to Danny. Her smile can't hide it. Steve knows her. He observes. He listens to Danny and believes Danny, not her.

Steve is pissed off. He was pissed off earlier when he saw Rachel's games. When he heard Danny's bitter words, Danny's fears. But now Steve has such a face like... It's the face "I wanna go back to the restaurant and...". Shout at Rachel. Tell her that she's the worst. Gosh, Steve looks here like he wants to punch her. He can't do this, he knows (plus: he doesn't want to ruin Danny's fatherhood). But in his mind he is punching her. He is shouting at her (well, maybe one day he will tell her, one day he will punch her with his bitter words, one day when Danny and Grace are safe).

Steve is here (and always will be) for Danny. He touches him. This touch is like a touch of guardian angel. And in the end he is looking at Danny and there's so much love and concern in Steve's eyes. Rachel can't hurt Danno anymore, no fucking way, he thinks.

It's such a strong scene. Danny opens his heart. Oh yes, Steve is the only one - Danny lets only him to know. To know about the darkest moment in Danny's life. Danny knows that Steve will understand. That Steve will treat this seriously. Steve is like him. And Steve is the opposite of Rachel. There's no shame, Danny. Steve loves you. Your pain is his pain. All what is yours is his.

I love that they're together SO MUCH. They're together so it will be all right. They're strong together. So strong.

I'm not a fan of Matt but it's so good that Danny had him around. Matt saved Danny and all what he did for him as a brother... It's touching. It's beautiful. All that beer, all those talks, all this time... Thank you, Matthew Williams. You saved an angel.

But... I can't believe that this Matt, this Matt that saw his brother's pain, deepest depression, that witnessed Danny's suicidal attempt... Why the hell Matt still tries to be nice (SO nice) to Rachel? Why the hell he wants her around Danny? (and Grace) Why the hell he invited Rachel for his family dinner with Danny and Grace? Why the hell he told Danny "You love Rachel, I see this"?! Why the hell he behaves like he wants to see Danny and Rachel together again (knowing well about Danny's pain and seeing well how much Steve means to Danny)? Why sometimes he behaves like HE is in love with Rach? (well, sometimes she looks at him like "I chose the wrong brother" so... hmm...).

And Rachel, geez. Why show's plot is on her side? Why no one sued her for what she did? She's guilty. She (and her mother) ruined Danny's mental health. After divorce she ruined Danny's mental health even more. Her toxic/destructive behaviour (and using Grace in her war against Danny) was the cause. Her behaviour and toxic deeds, her "I'll take Grace" pushed Danny to suicide attempt. Why didn't she face any consequences? Why are people still kind to her? Why the hell Grace lives with her? Where's "I'm sorry, Danny?" (oh, okay, there's no apology cause Hollanders are never sorry, right?).

Six months. SIX MONTHS! Six months full of deepest anxiety and depression. Six months WHOLE of that. Six months without light. Six months, for six months Matt tried to change Danny's mind. For six months there was a danger - that Danny would do it. I can imagine Matt's fear when he went to work and for those few hours per day Danny was there alone... Six months with darkest thoughts. And before and after that? Still dark. She made/makes Danny's life dark (and Steve's too, by the way).

Where's the law? Where's the justice for Danny? What an irony - he fights for other victims' justice but he as a victim got no justice.

Yeah, I know. Writers hated Danny. And Lenkov wanted Danny/Rachel so badly...

"I would not have gotten through that"

It hurts. It's blood-curdling. Danny, our bamf!Danny said that. It's generally scary to hear such words. To see other person's pain and feeling of total loss. Gosh, I can't 😭 This line kills me. It kills my heart.

(Thank you, Matthew for saving the life. Thank you, Steve for saving this life again. For giving Danny a real good life, safer and colourful. Life full of love).

[that-birdy-chick]

Part 2 of me rambling about s8 of hawaii five 0

Live commentary

ep 6

- did-did Danny really just organize an intervention for Steve? To make him take better care of himself?? I don't know how to feel about this

- Lou really just said "Steve listen to your husband, he loves you" spoken like a true married man

- kinda gotta agree with Dog, not your finest move Danny

- so can we all agree that Danny losing his mind a little over Steve's radiation poisoning is kinda like the whole Steve losing his mind over Danny retiring thing but in reverse?

- I think Steve has never looked more stressed than with this stress counseler person asking him about his sexlife right in front of danny

- awwww now the end of this episode is in my top 3 favorite heart to hearts these two dorks have ever had

- Danny being honest about being scared that Steve isn't taking his radiation poisoning seriously to the point it keeps him awake at night and steve replying that he's scared too but that he doesn't want Danny to change because he loves him the way he is and that he does take things seriously URHGH

THE GROWTH! The genuinely healthy communication! I'm so proud of them 🥹

ep 7

- no no no what is going on between adam and kono? My breakup senses are tingling and I don't like it

- I swear the way Adam and Steve's conversation in the car went is so "let's talk about our respective marriages" coded

Like honestly it's so blatantly obvious - they are literally paralleling mcdanno to kono and adam ffs

- hey and come on adam you too? Why does everyone need to shit on the restaurant thing

- haha Steve is mad people he cares about just walk into a dangerous situation without backup - I love how this season confronts Steve with his own behavior

-hmm l don't know how to feel about Lou literally deleting evidence to protect tani, really most of their shady "police work" really didn't age well

- damn Steve killed a cop, that's definitely gonna fuck with him

- love how Lou is looking out for everyone, he just is the team grandpa

- sooo adam is gonna join five 0 right? This is what all this is about isn't it?

- I swear I am trying to care about junior and tani and what's going on with them but Idk so far I haven't really warmed up to them

ep 8

- eyyy Danny is back and calls Steve babe within 1 min into the episode? This can only be a good one

- nvm I swear to God Steve if you crash land yet another plane-

Seriously dude? Haven't you learned your lesson from the last time?

- naww Danny is so proud of Steves character development, sure hope he isn't gonna do something dumb and risky and ruin it again

- okay so tani and junior huh? They're definitely gonna be a thing soon aren't they

- the dude was killed because he was hiding from a drug cartel that he snitched on and fled with the drug lords daughter, I swear all these people always have the most dramatic backstories

- aaaand steve is doing the dumb reckless thing, Danny my guy I feel you're pain, he is so done with his shit he doesn't even yell at him anymore

- Danny is such a fucking saint, Steve almost went and got himself killed AGAIN and all he cares about is being last and danny husband of the fucking year just goes "yeah yeah you did well let's get a beer maverick"

- okay tani and her brother are kinda cute in their peek sibling behavior, I feel bad now for calling her a kono replacement, girl is much more than that

ep 9

- damn love Jerry's new haircut

- I will never get tiered of Danny and steve bickering about the restaurant, I know they are setting it up to fail but I genuinely think this could have been a good thing to eventually end the show on, like a retirement thing, but oh well

- aww I love Danny trying to comfort neolani with something Steve told him, only to have it backfire and make him anxious again

- pfffff and tani and junior sit in the far back like literal children

- oh great we're doing the biological warfare stuff again, this should be fun

- so they only have 8 hours to live? sounds like a prime love confession set up to me

- love our respective couples comforting each other, have to say tani and junior are doing a way better job tho like seriously Steve "try not to die while I take this call okay?" that's the best you can do, seriously?

- and of course Danny's all time stress response is to bitch about or at Steve, stellar coping skills all around

- omg danny did not just say-and steve didn't - OMG is it actually-

-nvm of course it's a fake out, damn it after 7 season why do I still keep falling for this shit

-the little restaurant talk Danny started to distract Steve and himself with was pretty sweet tho

- hey, wait why is Danny the only one definitely close to death? The others all seem relatively fine

- and of course Steve has to go and needlessly risk himself, so junior has to safe both their ass's instead of him just doing it on his own in the first place

- excuse me people why are there not more fanfics about the crew stuck in quarantine together?? this shit is hilarious and has so much potential for angst!

Please if anyone has some great fic recommendations send them my way please!

-no come on Danny, Steve didn't wanna upset you! That's honestly a pretty mature thing given the situation you were in, and now their arguing

- poor tani and junior they be stuck with these two idiots for a long time

- I could really see tani, just snapping at them after two days to either kill each other or fuck it out already, because their whole shebang is just exhausting for everyone

ep 10

-AHHHHH they finally opened the restaurant!? Progress!

- why does the screen look weird? Please don't let this be a dream type thing

- "Right now grandma Williams is smiling down at you" awww Steve, that is so sweet🥹

- nooo it's a dream thing 😭

- love how everyone makes fun of Steves near mental breakdown haircut, really dude it looks terrible, why does no one stop him?

- wow you really gonna give em kids the judgemental stares for flirting? Steve Danny as if you're any better

- and of course they're getting jumped in freaking quarantine

- really the dude went through all that trouble, just to kill Danny? And didn't even try aiming for the head? amateur

- aww Danny imagining grace wedding, my heart <3

- Danny is hurt, Steve is freaking loosing it, I'm so here for this

- Lou really said "sir, you better have a plan soon because if you don't Steve will come up with one, and only God can help us if that happens" I love you so much Lou

- huh so Danny thinks Charlie will be a cop? That's interesting

- awww and of course Steve is there, sitting next to him like a good husband, and the rest of the ohana

- nooo Danny being there for kono and adams first kid, that is so wholesome 😭

- Steve is straight up having a terrible time, while Danny has some idealistic feverdream about the future, this is so fun

- excuse me Steve you fingering your husband does absolutely not make you even for the liver thing, you nut

- so there gonna blow up a bomb right next to another bomb? Sure that seems reasonable

- yes Lou! Get the sledge hammer!

- poor Eric, don't worry hun we still have 2 seasons left to go Danny will be fine

- no NO you cannot- you did not just show me that while Danny's dying the last thing he hallucinates about is having grown old with Steve 🥺

- "and if I could do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing" I'm done, this is it, that line just killed me 😭❤️

- excuse me, Danny is dying and you people are choosing NOW to tease Steve about his stupid haircut? Seriously??!

- yes everyone copes differently I guess, but when Steve's life was on the line no one was joking around is all I'm saying

- yes Danny Steve saved your life by fingering you, deal with it XD poor Eric is scarred for life

- love Danny genuinely getting some love for once, this was a good episode

[ghostlyfanparadise]

Trigger warning: self harm, thoughts of suicide?

We he made it into being a navy seal it helped a lot. He stopped cutting because he had something else to focus on besides his own mental pain. Trying to stay alive in the middle of a war tends to do that.

But when he left the navy and went back to hawaii to start his own task force it started up again. At first, it was just cheek biting. Enough to cause pain, but not to the point others noticed.

Then he started cutting his thighs so the other wouldn’t notice. It worked for a time. Just using a razor blade and cutting the inside of his thigh, but not too deep. Never too deep. He didn’t actually want to kill himself he just wanted the pain, but if he were to die he wouldn’t be mad about it. He’d accept it.

Then three years later him and danny started dating and he stopped cutting again. Whenever he felt the need to he’d pull danny into his arms and nuzzle his face in Danny’s neck clinging to him like a life line. Cause hell danny is the only good thing to ever happen to him.

Then danny got shot and put into the hospital and Steve just spiraled. Grover noticed first since he’s been down that road himself.

So when he saw Steve sitting there in the hospital waiting room with those pale pink lines on the insides of his arms Grover pulled him aside. “You need to breathe. He’s going to be ok.”

“He’s in a coma.” Steve says, his arms crossed and his eyes wet with unshed tears. Grover has never seen Steve so small. So vulnerable before. He pulls him into his arms and just hugs him. Even as Steve’s muscles tighten up at the embrace.

But of course danny didn’t know any of this. Not until he walked into the kitchen that day to see Steve holding a knife over his arm just staring at it.

Danny knows that look. He’s seen it too many times in the cops he worked with in New York and he knows he has to proceed with caution. He slowly walks over to him and places a hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve tenses up and Danny’s heart breaks.

“Hey, you know as much as I love how you taste I don’t want to eat your arm for dinner.” Danny says, trying to make a joke. He gets no reacting out of Steve at all. “Ok…” he then takes the knife out of Steve’s shaking hand and puts it back in the knife rack. He grabs Steve’s chin and makes the taller man look at him. Tears in his eyes. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Steve takes a deep breath at the question and wipes his eyes. Danny sees the fresh beads of blood run down his arm. “Oh god here.” He grabs a paper towel and presses it to the cut on his arm.

“It’s just too much.”

“What is?”

“My thoughts.” Danny nods.

“Ok, let’s get you into bed and we can talk about it or you can just hold me.” To Danny’s surprise Steve shakes his head. Before danny has a chance to argue Steve stops him.

“Can you hold me?”

“I can do that, sailor.” Steve smiles, though danny doubts that it’s real.

Once they get to bed Steve curls up against danny and rests his head on Danny’s chest.

Once the words start coming out they don’t stop until everything that’s been haunting him over the years come out, and danny just holds the man he loves in his arms stroking his hair doing the best he can to comfort him.

[angelwithwingsoffire]

Danny sighed, looking out at the ocean. Two years ago when he moved here, he didn’t think he’d ever be happy on this godforsaken island. He only moved here for Grace, to see his daughter on the rare days his ex-wife allowed him too. His six months at HPD made him want to quit everything forever, but he kept going because he knew Grace was proud of him. She loved her cop father, and told him often. And then he met Steve McGarrett, who completely fucked his life up. Everything got turned upside down, he thought he was losing his mind, and every day was another step towards death or a heart attack. He’d been shot, tortured, kidnapped, almost died from biological weapons, and more since that day. If you’d asked him how long he’d be at Five-0 in that first week with Steve, he would have told you that he’d never keep working for Steve. But he was wrong. Oh boy was he wrong. But sitting here, watching the sunset, with a beer in his hand and sand between his toes, he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset about it. Steve, Chin, Kono, Max, they’d all become family to him. ‘Ohana’ as Steve calls them. They were happy together, surprisingly enough. Steve McGarrett changed Danny’s life, for the worse at first, but even Danny had to admit his life had gotten better since Steve walked in. Now if only Danny could find the courage to make it even better…

“What’s that sigh for?”

Danny turned, looking up at Steve, grinning at the man. “Just thinking.”

“About?” Steve asked, plopping down onto the sand next to Danny.

“You.” Danny admitted.

“Me?” Steve repeated. “I didn’t even do anything to make you mad tonight.”

“I wasn’t thinking about you in an angry way.” Danny chuckled.

“Then what’s up?”

Danny shrugged. “Just thinking about how you’ve changed my life.”

“Usually you say I ruined it.” Steve pointed out, bumping Danny’s shoulder with his own.

Danny rolled his eyes. “You should know by now that I only hate you when you’re trying to get us killed.”

“And the rest of the time?”

Danny looked at Steve, hearing a new level of nervousness in Steve’s voice that he hadn’t heard before. Steve wasn’t looking at Danny, instead looking down at where he was picking at the label on his longboard. “The rest of the time I definitely don’t hate you.” Danny spoke softly, letting some of his emotions spill out in his voice.

“Danny…” Steve whispered.

“The rest of the time I have a hard time convincing myself not to fall in love with you.” Danny continued.

Steve’s head snapped up, eyes boring into Danny’s. “What?” Steve gasped.

Danny shrugged, looking out across the ocean. “You’ve changed my life Steve. Even you have to admit that. But I don’t expect anything, and I’m happy with where we are. It doesn’t matter in the end, I’m surprised but you’ve actually made me happy in this hellhole, and I don’t want to lose that. So we can just pretend this didn’t happen. We can just leave it be, move on, and we don’t have to change the way we interact.”

“But-” Steve cut himself off.

Danny turned to him, looking concerned. “Steve?”

Steve sighed, biting his lip. “What if I don’t want to just leave it be?” Steve’s voice was small, more scared than Danny had ever heard before.

“Are you serious?”

[forensicated]

What are some of your favourite episodes of the bill?

Oooh crikey, so many! Thank you for the question! These are in no particular order. Also apologies for the formatting, I'm on my phone trying to reply and remember which numbered episode is which and have to go check some of them to ensure they're right as I've bounced everywhere around timelines the last couple of years doing the recaps and they blurred.

* All Change, the millennium new years eve when cid became uniform for the night.

* Respect 1 and 2, the end episodes. I don't like the way some of the character storylines were wound up but those two episodes were an amazing tribute.

* The Chief Super's Party, June and Roy flirting at the bar, Brownlow deeply unimpressed by the company that Roy kept. Roy getting one over on the super without Brownlow even realising which allowed him to support Ted. Ted's drunk driving crash ending up with him sleeping on a boat overnight and solving a robbery to save his job whilst hungover.

* The Target Trilogy, June and Steve get shot at. It's thought that it's Steve being targeted but they soon realise how wrong they are. Poor Jo 😕

* An Honour To Serve, Gina's last episodes. Smithy's kiss on the cheek and how much he respects her 💔❤️ "Goodnight Ma'am" (RIP Roberta ❤️)

* Lullaby with Smithy going from reading Tim a bedtime story in a cell with absolutely no feeling in his voice through to him singing 5 little speckled frogs to try keep him calm and not worry him when they were kidnapped.

* Integrity, Nicks first episodes. The contrast of him and Smithy paired together is awesome. Especially when they unite.

* Gunrunner, Smithy and guns...

* Witness and the episodes featuring Carly in the run up. Smithy really became the paternal figure that he didn't want to initially and cared about her, Leanne and Brooke. (& laughing at Nate when he runs the wrong way after sending him to chase after her whilst he stands and has a nice little chat.)

* Righteous Kill 1 and 2, Max protecting the wife and son of a man he shot in S019.

* Brittaniamania, Mickey undercover as a football hooligan and Debbie pretending to be his girlfriend with Dave and Paul his workmates though Paul being shit at plastering almost got them caught.

* Episode 154, the aftermath of Mickeys rape. The acting is incredible.

* Tinderbox, Brownlow, Conway and Meadows in an outward bounds team building course against Manion and his cocky cheating team.

* Conviction - particularly the riot training episode where Smithy and Callum end up having a physical fight to end their frustration over what happened with Devlin. The last episode of that is a bit frustrating though as I don't think Smithy could give his guilt over that quickly to accept a promotion when it was eating him alive. It made out he and Stevie had continued a thing from Gunrunner too that they hadn't. (the promotion thing bugged me so much I made a fic about it)

* First Impressions 1 and 2, purely for WUK (or "WUS!") and nick and uniform hiding in Diane's cupboard to watch Ben on cctv.

* Blurred Around The Edges, Smithy's army friend makes an appearance and turns his world upside down. (another I did a fic about!)

* Soft Talking, Smithy delivers a baby in the middle of a street and has to try and find the mother when she disappears and get her away from the abusive boyfriend and dad.

* When the snow lay roundabout, Danny the elf knowing what Matt secretly wished, Reg being the only copper out because of the snow (he'd only gone to get a Christmas tree) Rod trying to scam uniform, a cheeky kid outing him and helping polly and Gary trim the tree and the barbershop quartet!

* PC Smith, Needing to show himself in a good light, Smithy volunteers with Nick to look after a gay couple who are receiving homophobic threats. Everyone is surprised, not least Smithy himself.

*Episode 372, Cop The Lot "Simon Cowell eat your heart out!"

* Cowboy Country, Max ends up using his mother's priest to try track a Polish criminal down

*Game Plan, Max goes undercover with the Monks family.

* Tolerance, Smithy's C019 training and interview.

* Episode 69 and 70, cop idol and Cass being taken hostage and murdered by the serial killer 💔

* 117 and 118 Smithy's first 2 Sgt episodes including singing at the gay club.

* Good Cop Bad Cop , callum's first. Smithy leaps on him twice and Dan is NOT impressed when Callum acts all dodgy and tries to shut him out.

* 131 Smithy goes undercover in prison to try locate some expensive cars and Ken's son.

* 138 and 139 Smithy and Gina go out for a drink and end up in a drinking game. Smithy cheats! "You're a cab!" The next morning Gina had a little prang and all hell breaks loose.

* 162 the first live episode

* 205 206 Nicks last episodes before going into witness protection. I hate that they didn't make more of his and Sgt!smithy's past but at least they acknowledge it in this episode. It's just a shame that a lot of newer viewers would have been confused as hell at what was going on with their goodbye.

* 214 215 the start of Gina and Jonathan properly.

* Appropriate Force, Callum comes face to face with his ex and her criminal husband. Smithy has to literally pull him away from beating the husband into a pulp for attacking his wife.

* 237 Jim and June get married. For the cast dressed up, Smithy teasing Gina about settling down and shoving her forward to catch the bouquet and the beautiful Gina and Jonathan moments. Though sadly they do end up breaking up.

Killer On The Run, Ryan Jones blames Smithy for him killing his wife. (Smithy had let slip that Ryan was infatuated with a prostitute the episode before) and tries to take revenge, holding both Smithy and Pauline, Smithy's mother at gunpoint at various times

* 272 273 Gina taken hostage by Irene Radford and the story of their history and how alike they were falls out.

* 286 Dan's first appearance at the driving school with Amber and Leela. Amber's attempts to get in with the instructor once she finds out she's a lesbian is hilarious.

* 288 289 Andrea is found out and the station explodes in a fireball thanks to Colin Fairfax. Smithy and Ken's final scene is heartbreaking 💔

*298 Dan transfers and puts himself in danger rescuing a woman who is treated as a slave by those she works for as well as being raped by the father. Rosa is terrified but Dan tries to help, made harder by the fact she's deaf and doesn't speak English.

* 302 303 Mickey returns with MIT colleagues and arrests Neil. It's a heartbreaking look at what the rape had done to Mickey or "Michael" as he insists he is now and then something further breaks his heart....

* 327 Gina is found having collapsed at home by Smithy and Jonathan. Gina and Jonathan have a heart to heart and she almost tells him she wants to reunite... Right as he tells her he has a girlfriend. She forces herself to let him go for good ��💔

* 349 second live episode and the end of Prosser.

* 360 and 361 Dan finally discovers who it is that has been blackmailing him about his affair and a lot is revealed about his history in these 2.

* 402 403 Smithy returns to work after the Larson debarkle to find Gina graffiting his welcome back posters and his first case involving his ex cellmate

* The Fat Lady Sings, Dave is approached by an opera singer who tells him she's being stalked. He ignores her and soon regrets it. Duncan arrives and arouses suspicions when the others realise he lives in a fancy penthouse apartment and has connections in the operatic world.

* Whose Side Are You On?, Dashers arranges a football match against a group of teens and lets Viv play in goal. (Vivs only experience being netball) so he doesn't have to let Bob Cryer play.

* Square Peg Round Hole, John Boulton is stuck with a needle during an arrest and worries he might have HIV but being John he won't stay at home.

*Wannabe, A young girl makes her attraction to Rod very obvious and he uses it to get her druggy parents.

* Team Play, Jack forces Duncan to take part in a compulsory training course with him. Duncan wants to skip it and work a sexual assault case with Liz. Poor Tom keeps being chucked off the case everyrime Duncan can slip out or take calls before he's dragged back in again to unwillingly participate in the exercise 😂

Badlands, the episode with Daves assault and those leading up to it (and after) with Boultons obsession with the Lovers and trying to nail Mick. The one where George loses it and goes for John when he goads him is perfect. Just a shame it leads the the Dave, Jenny, George, Polly mess.

* Trial Run, Rod calls in sick to Moonlight as a bodyguard. He thinks he's getting a female model but ends up with his hands full with two rich kids, one of which is a little shit.

* 427 Dan at the go kart center

* 481 It's Smithy's birthday, but noone will leave him alone.

* In The Know, Leon finds himself under suspicion when he's spotted being roughed up by a target of CID

* That's Love For You & Rescue Me, Leon struggles with a case where the parents of a baby he has bonded with are suspected of abusing her.

* The Truth Will Out, Smithy asks callum to apologise to a bloke who is accusing him of pushing him. He helps out unofficially when a young kid goes missing and panics when he thinks Smithy had gotten stuck during an underwater rescue. Their final scene is amazing.

* Hide and Seek, Leon finds a little girl hiding in a fireplace and they bond a she looks after her whilst they try to find her mother. They have tea parties and pretend to be invisible and all sorts ❤️ and then Tilly breaks his heart when she says "I thought you were my friend." he later risks his job doing something naughty that is seen by Rachel...

* Solace and The Calling. Dominic is incredible in these episodes, it's a real masterclass of how he can show every bit of what Leon is feeling with the slightest change of expression.

* Tombstone, Callum tries to deal with the death of his estranged father and the knowledge that he was a rapist.

Twanky, Sun Hill put on a panto and catch a criminal attempting to off an officer during it, hopefully without the audience realising.

Sorry, went a little overboard there! Interested to hear about yours (and everyone else's!), Anon!? Could have gone on all night naming eps.

[weresilver]

Fuck it Friday

I still have an hour of my Friday, ok.

Because I've been writing and I wanna share some of it. This is one scene of a prologue that I'm sending to, like, a few different people because I'm nervous about the whole concept. But it's fine.

This is an entire scene of a thing. A Hawaii Five-0 thing. Different First Meeting, canon divergence, all wrapped in a nice little Alternate Universe package, I guess? Set in the beginning/during season 3. Danny's not on the team.

Overall, blame @corvid-cryptidd. He's a horrible enabler.

Steve wasn’t sure what to think of all of this. He hadn’t believed Joe when he said he was Shelburne, but all the lies were starting to get him. The fact that he’d been in Suruga before, that Joe had been moving Shelburne just hours before Steve got to a location, stung. Moving and backtracking in order to avoid Wo Fat — and himself — was smart, and exactly what he’d have done. Joe did know how he operated better than anyone else.

His old commander had had a change of heart somewhere along the way, though, deciding to bring him back to Japan after his failed search just last week and take him to meet Shelburne, but none of it made all this secrecy easier to swallow. Whatever this was about, whether it was Wo Fat’s father or something even deeper, his father was executed for it.

They approached the seaside village mostly in silence after Joe’s explanations, but some noise ahead caught Steve’s attention, as if it was being intentionally made. Joe stopped walking, and Steve followed suit.

“Commander White,” a rather short man greeted. He extended a well-toned arm to Joe for a handshake that Joe quickly met. The vest and equipment — including the M16 rifle over his shoulder — made it easy to place him as military. With a nod towards Steve, he asked, “This is?”

“Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett,” Joe introduced, and Steve extended his own hand to the man. “Steve, this is Major Daniel Williams.”

Now slightly closer, Steve could see the American flag on the vest, though no real indication as to what branch the man — Major Williams — was part of.

Eying him up and down with a frown, Williams shook his hand and threw a glance at Joe that Steve couldn't begin to decipher. He shook his head softly.

“You gotta be kidding me,” he muttered, turning around to head back the way he came. “Come on, then.”

Steve could spot more well-armed personnel as they walked, none of them Japanese, all of them carrying themselves in the same way as Williams. The same way Steve saw several other operators move. None of the locals paid any mind to them, though. “What’s with the Army escort?”

“Got a problem with the branch choice, McGarrett?” There was a challenge in his voice, clear even if he didn't turn around to face them. 

“No problem,” he said, easily enough. “I'm just curious." Williams glanced back at him, but didn't say anything. “Wo Fat’s still looking, isn’t he?”

“Wo Fat is in Yakuza custody,” Joe answered easily enough. It explained why Joe had decided to bring him to Shelburne now, at least.

“Whether he stays there,” Williams added, gesturing wildly at the world around them, “Remains to be seen. While regrettable, Anna Douglas’ death at least served as a wake-up call.” There was annoyance in his tone, directed, Steve supposed, at the powers that be. “The CIA no longer wants anything to do with him, the Yakuza wants a piece of him.”

“The man who killed Agent Douglas has been arrested,” Steve said, uselessly. Williams nodded, but his shoulders remained tense. This man clearly knew that Hiro Noshimuri was dead, why else would the remaining Yakuza families be gunning for Wo Fat?

“Good for them.” Williams muttered, stopped from saying anything further by the man approaching them with easy, unhurried steps, interrupting their walk to talk with Williams. Steve couldn't hear what they were saying, could barely make out lip movements, and a glance at Joe told him he couldn't either.

Instead, Steve’s focus went to the man’s vest. The UK flag and S.A.S.-like emblem only added to Steve's apprehension.

“Just get moving, MacTavish.” The man avoided Williams’ swat easily enough, giving him a mock salute as he stepped back. “Go.”

“Aye, sir.”

MacTavish walked between the shacks toward the treeline, finally letting them move on. It wasn't long before the three of them came upon what looked like an abandoned shack, but Joe and Williams stopped well before they reached the door.

“Joe?” He questioned, glancing backwards.

“Go on,” Joe nodded toward the door. “You deserve some answers, Steve.”

[redgoldblue]

for the drabble spotify wrapped game, if you want: i rolled my rainbow d10 twice and we have a 75 🌈

❤️ 🌈

75: America's Sweetheart by Elle King

uh. I don't know where this came from. i apologise, my partner-in-fluff 🫡

Also I am obviously not abiding by the technical 100-word definition of drabble here, but instead the much looser 'short piece of writing'.

spotify wrapped drabbles!

Steve doesn't know when he stopped caring about killing people. It didn't bother him until he started caring again.

It's not anyone unusual, is the thing that gets him. It's a nameless, almost-faceless drug smuggler that he didn't even mean to kill, but he shot with intent to disable and a little too much carelessness in a rush to stop the ship they came in on, and when he finally loops back around there's a pool of blood and a corpse with a busted femoral artery.

He's kneeling down, checking a pulse even though it's clearly absent, removing weapons even though he'll clearly have no use for them, when his fingers brush against a thin edge in the inside pocket of the off-the-rack grey suit jacket the guy's wearing.

When he pulls it out, it's a photo. He has to look down to check that it's the same guy in it, partially because death rictus changes a face, especially when your comparison is smiling and happy, and partially because he just hasn't looked at his face properly. It's the same guy, his arm around a similarly smiling woman shoulder-height to him and so close in features she has to be his sister, with a chubby-cheeked frizzy-haired kid straddling his shoulders and holding onto the woman's hand.

One of the first things the military teaches you, explicitly or not, is to erase personhood. Your own, and your enemy's. Numbers, statistics, body parts and targets and usefulness.

He puts the photo back into the dead man's jacket and moves away. A tech comes at some point, body-bags him, and Duke is there and the rest of his team have it well in hand, so he goes back to where their cars are parked, boosts himself onto the hood of the truck, and waits.

Kono walks past at some point, but they're still in the midst of cleanup and HPD handover, so even though she does slow and ask, "You okay, boss?", when he replies in the affirmative she nods and keeps moving.

He remembers himself before. He remembers when it would never would have occurred to him not to think that every person with a bullet in them is a person with a family. A person with a life, at least before they were a person with a death.

He doesn't bother trying to count. The impulse washes over him, but it would take hours with military records and Five-0 reports to calculate anything even close to accuracy.

Himself before was decades ago, but also not that long ago. It was target practice at the Academy and work behind computers in Military Intelligence and crawling through mud with a similarly young Freddie by his side.

Himself after, apparently, is sitting on his own truck at the edge of his own city watching his family and his family's family and his friends and his friends' friends move efficiently through shipping containers and body bags.

Eventually, Danny finds him. He takes one look at Steve's face; he doesn't say anything, just leans against the hood next to Steve and waits.

Eventually, Steve finds the words. "I don't think the military would like me anymore, Danny."

It's not all that new a state of affairs; he got driven by revenge and tattoos in non-regulation places and too many personal attachments and he remembered how to have fun in quiet spaces and how to love in loud ones. He started caring again.

"Good," Danny says, harsh and definite, and Steve realises with a start that the things that would debase him in the eyes of his country are probably exactly the same reasons Danny - not just Danny, his whole family - would cite for loving him. Except the tattoos, maybe.

He can't bring himself to be upset about it in the face of that.

[trickster-archangel]

Random thoughts about Hawaii Five-0 rewatch: part 3/?

Last random thought for a while, because I need to find the time to skip between s6-s10 DVDs.

Thought #4: dude....love triangles only apply to romantically and sexually involved people, so no, don't worry, we won't "call it bromance", or: The Prom Date parallel, or: The Real Jersey Slip.

This one is really just on my mind, but since I was skipping between contents just to make sure everything was (probably) working (Danny's negativity is powerful in me), I happened to land onto two specific bits of dialogue which made me bitter-laugh so madly.

The incriminated dialogues are found in the s4 Shorelines (I think), and in the commentary (courtesy of Lenkov, O'Loughlin, and Park) for 3x17 aka the Pro Bowl date episode.

I'm reasoning backwards, because what the writers were saying, extensively, about the Billy storyline, was that they wanted to show a different side of McGarrett: he's sure of himself, self-confident, cocky even, when coming to his job and skills....but what about his feelings and personal life? He does have a vulnerable, doubtful side, one which makes him feel stuttering when coming to relationships. He trusts Catherine (ouch), and Billy too because they used to be battlefield brothers. But does he? So they explored this jealous side of him, one he's not proud of and which he desperately tries to stifle, deny, push down and downplay, because admitting it would mean feeling weak.

Also, Billy's death would've put Catherine in a place where she didn't have purpose in life anymore, where she felt guilty for something she was trained to prevent, bringing her to seek Steve's presence as a friend too (!!!!) to have a shoulder to cry onto.

This is absolute perfect, and I do appreciate the effort and the general masterplan...even if as usual, character-study is not the main interest for an older audience thus it was obviously shallow and just hinted at, in reality....and also they shamefully killed Billy after a few episodes instead of exploring this "love triangle" in depth.

That's it. That's the exact idiom they used for the Billy/Catherine arc. Love triangle. Which is absolutely the correct term for the situation. Let's pack it for later, and let's move to the 3x17 commentary.

What's so funny to me, is that when the (in)famous "Cath gets ditched because Steve is going with Danny" scene comes on screen, you hear PL almost absentmindedly perking up and laughing, saying something like "Oh, and here we are at the classic love triangle drama!".....then suddenly shuts up because he gets aware of what he just said.

At this point things get frenzy, they laugh, Grace cheers, and someone (PL? Alex?) hurries to add "C'mon Steve, don't be that man who ditches his girlfriend to go out with his best friend!", to save the situation.

Only problem is, we hear Alex (I think it’s his voice this time), saying "It's exactly like one of those awkward moments when you're asked for prom, but you turn down the person because you already have a date".

And we really remember when that other "prom date moment" was, right?

I really can't understand why they chose to ditch all this potential they were all clearly aware of, just for heteronormativity sake. A man and a woman can be platonic best friends. Two men can be completely romantically committed to each other. I really can't see what the problem is.

[duchi-nesten]

Grayghost for the ask game!

it's been one hundred years, but i have not forgotten to answer the 983478349 of these i have left in my inbox.

-

Valerie was so ready to finally, officially, fully kill Danny.

Don't get her wrong, she really loved her boyfriend a lot. After all the secrets were out, they really bonded and were now dating for almost 4 years.

Since their anniversary was coming up, they both decided to celebrate it by going on a roadtrip across a few neighboring states. They've been saving money for this the whole year!!!

When summer break hit (they were in college now (rip)) they wasted no time, packing Valerie's new (old) car to the roof and going off into the unknown. (unknown = usa)

Valerie insisted that she was gonna be the one to drive the whole time. She didn't really trust Danny and his certified Fenton Driving SkillsTM to not wreck her car.

Danny argued for a while, since he didn't want her to drive so much. It was cute how worried he was that she was gonna be too tired or whatever, but she made it very clear to him that she doesn't mind. He was banned from the driver's seat, no matter what.

Unfortunetly, that led to a little issue that Valerie did not think well enough through.

"WE GOT A NUMBER ONE VICTORY ROYALE, YEAH FORTNITE WE BOUT TO GET DOWN (GET DOWN), TEN KILLS ON THE BOARD RIGHT NOW, JUST WIPED OUT TOMATO TOWN."

Danny was in charge of the AUX cord.

And Danny was abusing his AUX cord rights.

Hard.

"Danny, can you PLEASE turn on some NORMAL MUSIC?" Valerie asked for what felt like the 1000th time.

"What do you mean? Chug Jug With You is such a banger." Danny asnwered with the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

"I can survive stuff like All Star and the rickroll, but the shit you've been pulling up is too much." She let go of the steering wheel with one hand just to quickly gesture in the direction of Danny's phone connected to the car. "What even IS THIS?"

"A banger."

"Danny, I beg you."

"Well. You know the rules. One person drives, the other chooses the music." he said, shrugging.

"I can hardly call your playlist music."

He ignored her comment and continued, "You could always... Let me drive. The you can choose the music."

That Little Shit.

She knew he did this on purpose. She realized when he pulled out an already pre-made playlist. This was his plan all along. Maybe she wasn't so far off when she was insiting he was evil those few years ago. He sure as hell could be evil when he wanted to be.

Well, she was definitly not gonna give in. She couldn't let him win this.

"No. You're banned from driving." she said, holding the wheel just a bit tighter when a new song started playing. It sounded like a badly recorded version of Take On Me. She prayed it was only that, but her dreams were crushed when some little kid with the shittiest mic known to humankind started talking over the song.

"Well, that's fine! We get to listen to the legend himself, Mcap Steve!" Danny exclaimed and started singing with the kid about... mining? diamonds?

And calling it singing was generous, all of it was just screaming.

Of all the minecraft songs, he had to choose the one that was giving her an incredible headache.

.

She eventually gave up and let Danny drive after he pulled out this Mcap Steve's entire discography...

Possibly dying in a traffic accident was way better than another minute of that minecraft parody hell.

_____________

@hannahmanderr and I actually made Danny's roadtrip playlist, so you can listen to it and see what torture this boy put his girlfriend through yourself!

[THE PLAYLIST]

Also: Danny's right, those are bangers.