#danny didn't know steve had that kind of excitement in him and he wants that directed at him

[justjyve]

So... While I've not been the most active on a good day, more prone to dropping in and out and mainly become a blog to comment on the going ons with General Hospital and all that jazz... I've been caught up with the show, and do have things to say in my usual way... I felt it appropriate before any of that to talk about Billy Miller.

It still hurts.

I found out through a notification on my phone, a tweet / xeet from William DeVry noting the passing of Billy and as soon as I saw his name, an "oh no..." came out of me and I tapped that thing as quick as possible, hoping it was another Billy... but no.

It's so odd, shortly before that I was binging Justified and was so delighted when Billy popped up for an episode ( albeit, for a very not good guy ) and I was so happy to see him, which made me think about him and hoping we get to see him in some new series.

Oh, no, it hurts again.

I was a Jasam fan, back in the day, though with the whole Franco business I was more a fan of Sam. Jason was.... He was a character that I was souring on, though I appreciated the grief portrayed when he had "died". When it all unfolded that Jason was alive and coming back, I was excited, though more for Sam and what the story would bring. And then that first scene, when Danny wandered into the hospital room of "Jake Doe", that's when I first saw Billy.

I was skeptical about another actor portraying Jason, I think we all were, but when we went through the stages of Jake Doe, a man with amnesia, a new face ( I loved the explanation of that rather than just accepting he always looked like this ) and having some mysterious bond with those of Jason's past -- Sam, I'm talking about Sam, the fury I had for Elizabeth knowing who he was and keeping it a secret because "It's my turn" yeah I remember that shit, and then the revelation, the story was done so well. Not having "Jason" fall immediately to who he was but struggle with it. Gentle with Sam, them both taking it slow. We watched them fall in love again and I... I fell for his Jason. I fell for Billy. Because it was definitely not Steve Burton's Jason, definitely a 2.0 version, and I loved him. He was funny, he was warm, he was fierce and protective but not anywhere near "stone cold" but one open with his feelings. And that was all Billy to me. That's just how he was and I loved him and what he brought to the character.

He played a Jason that hated his past, his mistakes, and for all the Sam fans, he did what we wanted Jason to do so many times -- leave Sonny and the mob, for the woman he loved, went a different path, a safer one, and I was so happy for them.

And then Steve Burton came back, and they ruined that story, jasam 2.0's story, and it turns out Billy's Jason wasn't Jason, but Drew. All the things we loved about his Jason turned out not to be Jason, not to be the character development that I was so happy to see, and god, it was such shit, but Billy acted the fuck out of it and gave us Drew's turmoil of his whole life that he took so long to remember not even his.

So, I fell in love with Drew. Loved his character. Because I truly enjoyed watching Billy. And when Drew was written off, I mourned not only the character but not having to see Billy on my screen again. At least not on General Hospital.

When the show kept hinting at Drew being alive, I was so desperate for it to be Billy, though that was dashed but I did love the character, giving a chance.... Just not the same, though. Never would be, without him.

Suits was a blessing when I got into it and didn't know he was in it a few episodes, and that was a real treat. I wish we were blessed to see him more and more. He really was a bright spot in the acting community, in the soap community. I mourn that I never made it to any conventions to meet him and tell him how much I loved what he did on the show. I remember the video and I believe letter he put out when he left GH. A class act. So unbelievably kind. Such a bright smile.

And he's gone.

I keep tearing up at the thought. The realization. He's gone.

God, do you all remember "killy with kindness"? I don't even know this man, I can't imagine what those that knew him, loved him are feeling. Hudson put out a post about working with him and it broke my heart. So many lovely posts from his co-stars. His friends.

Breaks my heart now knowing he was in such a dark place, suffering from himself, that he saw no other way out...

I mourn the guy he was, the talent he had, the love he had to give and for others to give to him, I mourn what could have been, the what ifs, I mourn him.

I'll miss you, Billy Miller. You were wonderful.

[nobigsecrets]

I posted 4,314 times in 2022

55 posts created (1%)

4,259 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@teruel-a-witch

@tissueoflies

@pterawaters

@glassmirrormask

@cowboymitchell

I tagged 2,822 of my posts in 2022

Only 35% of my posts had no tags

#h50 - 1,531 posts

#mcdanno - 1,111 posts

#queue’em - 600 posts

#steve mcgarrett - 386 posts

#queue'em - 330 posts

#alex o’loughlin - 142 posts

#alex o'loughlin - 116 posts

#fan art - 105 posts

#danny williams - 103 posts

#ted lasso - 97 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and grudgingly coming to accept that a) there *are* limits to his physical condition and b) that danny basically just saved his life *again

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I did it! 🎉

🌈 Rainbows over Waikiki, my WIP of doom, Steve's backstory, my first attempt at writing long(ish) fic, it's done! It came out at pretty exactly 30k words and it's in need of thorough editing (and probably an epilogue to wrap up some lose ends), but it's complete! 🎉

I feel like I posted half of it already in countless Six Sentence Sundays, but here is another short snippet because I'm excited to share it!

“I’m in love with someone else, Danny,” Steve quickly interjects. Because it’s not gonna work with Jason and the reason is Danny himself and this whole situation is so fucked up—

“Someone else?” Danny says dumbfounded and now there’s a tense silence stretching out between them. Steve chances a quick look at Danny, but before he can muster the courage to actually confess what he’s just been thinking, Danny speaks again.

“What do you mean, someone else? When did you find the time to fall in love with someone else? You have another guy hidden your closet or something?” His voice has gotten more heated with every word and Steve can tell Danny is trying to work himself into a rant.

“It’s you,” he says simply.

82 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#4

1x01: “Danno...”

Rewatched the pilot and noticed Steve’s soft, whispered “Danno” after he listened in to Danny’s phone call with Grace and heard the nickname for the very first time. He’s mesmerized, almost reverent as he’s staring out of the window, it’s like he’s trying it out on his tongue.

I mean Steve had already been impressed with Danny before, but listening to Danny talking to Grace, you can tell he’s falling hard and fast, you can all but see it happening.

89 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

#3

“Look, when I had this thing with Rachel last year, I kept it secret. I didn’t want you to know because I knew you’d pry—“ Danny pauses and holds up a hand as if to stop Steve from interrupting, but Steve is too bewildered to come up with any kind of response. He swallows, anxious where this is going.

“And I had nothing to give, nothing I could've told you,” Danny says and Steve watches him closely, examines every familiar gesture, every twitch and every grimace—but it’s the sincerity in Danny’s eyes that makes him feel like he’s being strangled.

“I wasn’t sure where it was going. It was everything I wanted… ever since the divorce, y’know? Get my old life back… get my family back, man—“

Another pause and Danny sighs. Rubs a hand over his face. Doesn’t look at Steve but takes a deep breath, as if to brace himself before he pushes on, “But when I was with her, it didn’t feel right, because… Because you were on my mind all the time, Steve.“

And now Danny’s looking up, looking Steve straight in the eyes and he can’t breathe, “Suddenly, I wasn’t sure anymore what it was that I wanted—“

Steve’s head is spinning, and it’s definitely not the concussion, but he’s got no idea when Danny moved so close. Close enough to feel Danny’s breath on his skin, to feel his warmth—and then Danny’s mouth touching Steve’s in a featherlight kiss.

“Turns out it was you babe,” Danny whispers against his lips.

97 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

#2

Ever since @teruel-a-witch posted her hot McDanno motorcycle boyfriends collage the other day, the idea of a McDanno biker AU wouldn't leave me alone. It didn't help that the post made me reread some parts of The ‘Auna Club series by mrspdrona, but mostly I got inspired by our subsequent conversation about whether Steve and Danny really would become mob-like criminals as members of an MC. I thought of some alternative ideas.

Steve

After Steve dedicated 15 years of his life to the Navy, all he gets as thanks for his service is a dishonorable discharge due to DADT. Add insult to injury, it had been the Petty Officer he's been having a secret affair with for almost a whole year who'd told when he'd been asked. Steve had secretly hoped this thing between them could be going somewhere, eventually, and never has he been more wrong. He's not even sure what hurts worse, the betrayal of the person he thought he knew, or the disrespect of the institution he would have been ready to die for.

So now he’s got literally nothing left: He's got no job and no career, no more friends nor family, no home and no place to go, no plan and nothing to do and he’s so. fucking. ANGRY.

What he does have is a motorcycle. He’s always loved bikes, they're so much more interesting than the stupid vintage cars his dad used to love. It was a guy Steve knew in high school (and who he might've had a major crush on), who let him ride his bike once and it was an instant addiction. (Ironically, the guy became his dad’s cop partner later, so the crush faded quickly but not the love for bikes.)

So when Steve gets out of the Navy, the first thing he does is getting his bike out of storage—and then he just takes off.

He's got nowhere to be and nowhere to go, so he just rides, not paying much attention to where he's going, content with wherever the roads might take him. Which happens to be the southern end of New Jersey—eventually.

He's been out and about for a few months, stopping and making new friends here, picking up a guy there, always leaving after a day or two and before trouble can find him. He's coming up close to a year when he runs into problems with his bike. Turns out years of being in storage weren't great for it. Steve knows his way around the engine just fine, thank you very much, but he doesn't have the means to fix what's wrong this time. A trip to the nearest shop is unavoidable if he doesn't want to strand in the middle of the road in the middle of nowhere with his beloved bike in pieces.

And isn't it just his kind of luck that the closest garage he finds seems to be firmly in the hands of the local chapter of a one-percenter motorcycle club? At least ten of the guys hanging around are clearly recognizable as club members by the patches on their leather cuts. Steve can feel their eyes on him as he approaches though no one is looking at him directly.

He's as wary of them as they seem to be of him, if not more. He's aware they don't like strangers and he's even more aware that these kind of 'clubs' are just as full of bullshit and toxic masculinity as the Navy. Steve has sworn to himself that he wouldn't hide anymore, that anyone who has a problem with who he is can fuck right off. He's fucking done with playing by anyone else's rules. But he needs his bike to be fixed and he doesn't want to cause trouble so he keeps his head down, trying to find the right balance between looking intimidating enough without being provocative.

It works better than he wants it to. Because while he's waiting for someone to look at his bike, some of the guys cautiously strike up a conversation with him, like they're testing the waters, trying to figure out where he stands. They've recognized him as ex-military and they're friendly towards him, probably they've gauged him as potentially useful. They ask him which branch he served in and when he left; when they ask about the why Steve doesn't exactly lie when he tells them he got kicked out for conduct unbecoming, but he doesn't elaborate either.

Turns out he was right: When it becomes clear that the repairs on his bike take at least a day or two, he gets offered help and accommodation by no one less than the club's Vice President. Of course he’s being asked to work a job for the club in exchange—but he's been expecting it and he doesn’t hesitate for long. He doesn't have anything to lose. He’s got the skills, why not use them to his advantage as he pleases when the Navy doesn’t want him as he is?

Steve doesn’t plan on staying. Instead he plans to leave as soon as he's got his bike back and his debt is settled, except—

Except there’s this short blonde dude everyone calls Danno that has caught his attention. It's not solely his good looks that catch Steve’s interest, though. It’s more that he sticks out. He’s not a big number in the club—yet. He’s ambitious and he’s clearly set to move up the ranks soon, but to Steve’s trained eyes he’s trying too hard. Something about him doesn't pan out, but Steve can't put his finger on what it is.

Plus, the guy seems to have taken an interest in Steve, too. He's always around, watching, observing. He's always got a snarky remark and Steve can’t tell if it's a risky game of flirting he's playing or if it’s dislike over a perceived competition or if there’s another, ulterior motive. Either way, he's intrigued enough to stay for another job and he doesn't exactly mind that Danno seems to have become the guy to keep an eye on him.

He soon learns that they work well together, and it makes even more sense when he learns Danno used to be a cop. He's got tactical training under his belt and it shows. He's also been fired from the police, which has something to do with drinking and anger issues and his ex-wife. But whatever the details, the bitter experience is something that connects them. Steve finds there's a lot of connection between them and if the circumstances were any different he's sure there could be a friendship between them or—

But it's neither the right time nor the right place and Steve is a burned child so what the hell is he even thinking?

Danny

See the full post

114 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I would also like to ask h50 for the ship meme ;) (but if someone already did that, then Ted Lasso)

Thanks for returning the favor! 😁 (H50 is not unexpected. Ted Lasso is and I will answer that in a separate post.)

H50

otp: McDanno, no surprise there

favourite canon pairing: McDanno, no surprise there; Tani/Junes, who are adorable and sadly funnily a complete mirror image of Danny and Steve (therefore proving the point that the only reason McDanno isn't canon is because they're not a het couple)

worst pairing ever: For me, Danny/Rachel are even worse than Steve/Cath because I don’t get how Danny is supposed to still love Rachel and trust her when she lied and betrayed him like she did, repeatedly

guilty pleasure pairing: Cath/Kono is one of my favorites; I also ship Joe White/John McGarrett, I guess the writers wanted to make us believe it was an unrequited Joe/Doris situation, but I like this spin much better; then there’s Mary/Kawika which my friend @cowandcalf came up with and I wholeheartedly agree with her; Quinn/Noelani in season 10

a pairing you want to see more: I wish we would have gotten more (happy) glimpses of Steve & Freddie, because all we got was one episode full of heartache

that pairing everyone likes but you’re like “lol no”: None, except probably McRollins but I wouldn't call their fans everyone

favorite non-romantic pair: the whole ohana; I also love Steve & Mary being siblings and important to each other; I love Steve & Cath as friends, because she is one of the few connections to his life pre Five-0; Danny & Kono being BFFs; Danny & Tani commiserating; Steve & Junior and their SEAL brotherhood

put a fandom in my ask and i’ll answer

122 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ellena-asg]

@chaosrising451 @adelaydebclouds

Chao, Ade - I'm so happy that you like it! 🥺❤️

Chao, yeah, everybody ships McDanno there (geez, I think these comics are gonna to be Literally Each Character's Reaction 😂 who will be next? Kame? Gerard? Random suspect? xD).

I admit that I was a bit afraid of making this one cause: Navy (oh, I hate what Navy sometimes does and what it did to Steve's life), Doris (Ade shares my "Doris ships McDanno" headcanon but I know that Doris is rather "persona non grata" in this fandom), Joe (some people hate him too). But on the other hand... (Ade wanted this). I read an article about some queer Navy man (if I remember correctly he was a Seal) who said that he had a real friends in Navy and they supported him and loved him ❤️ and Wade & Co... They were for Steve. They risked for him. So I saw them being Steve's Support Group all the time 😊 Oh, and they had to see too (I guess that being so skilled like them helps but Wade is right - anyone can see), especially Joe (I still remember his comments about Steve having house big enough to live there with Danny and about boys being like married couple, damn 😂).

And I thought "relationships are relationships, friend talks and jokes... you talk and joke with all friends in the same way, right?" (well, I do and it means a lot to me that you Chao and Ade find this comics positive but if for someone some lines are "too much" - I'm sorry, I didn't want Wade and other guys to sound mean, they're just very happy and in goofy supportive mood and Frank truly ships Ice and Mav ☺️ - Danno is Iceman, isn't he? 😂). Hah, Ade, yeah - Joe and Wade are 80's music fanboys (oh, they were like 30/40-something (?) then so it's still their youth heh), definitely.

Chao, I'm so happy that Joe made you laugh 😁 I guess he regrets very much (geez, he was literally like "go date her, Steve, go date her" - Joe was more excited about this than Steve was xD). But well, when he met Danny and saw what he did to Steve... Joe had no other choice, there was only one: "ship McDanno" 😄 I'm so happy that you like Wade (ayy, I always saw him as a ray of sunshine in that sad shitty Navy world - he's so nice, supportive, friendly to Danny and all Ohana, loyal to his people more than to his country and ah, I headcanon him as a second father figure - after Joe - to Steve 🤭 gosh, Wade is quite similar to John, I mean the face, what if he's John's and Deb's lost cousin? xD).

and Steve’s face is just like “oh God, were we *that* obvious?!” 🤣

Yeah 😁 Also: "Guys, come on, it's more and more embarassing, you know. La da dee da da?! Are you... the same guys I once knew? Geez, Joe... I wanna record you and send this to all Tadpoles, you know? No, wait. It's about me and Danno. My old friends don't know that... They don't know, right? Joe? Wade? You didn't tell whole world about us... before us... right? Right?!". (hah, poor Stevie really has no idea how much obvious McDanno is and how much powerful - it's hard not to be a gossip bird "You know, Steve loves Danno"/"Oh, I know! Wait... You mean he knows it too now? What a fantastic news!"😂).

And I love the idea of Doris being a McDanno shipper! I can totally see her planning their marriage like a top-secret stealth op.

Whoah! ❤️

I believe that she would (I mean Doris from earlier seasons) want to do everything best for McDanno (yes, best wedding too). Like "I was a shitty mother in the past but now and forever I wanna be the best, I'll be living for them, for these kids" (but not "too much" Doris, McDanno won't need you at their honeymoon etc. 😂). Gosh, her being like "Steve, take your hubby on a date. Mary, have a good time with your friends. Grandma is gonna have a great time with her little angels!" - it would be cute 🙂

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️❤️❤️ I'm immensely happy that you like my stuff 🥲

Bonus 1

Bonus 2

Bonus 3

#McDanno comics

@adelaydebclouds wanted something about Navy so here it is - a very Navy AU 😂 Yeah, Navy may suck but Steve always has some friends there. She also wanted something about Doris being McDanno shipper so I made the bonus 🙂

Ade, I hope you'll like it a bit 😉 And I'm so sorry that you waited too long. Thank you for everything ❤️

And mahalo to all my sunshines 💕 You always give me so much energy! 😘

[teruel-a-witch]

Danny's face journey in this scene is absolutely priceless, he's so green with jealousy it's actually a wonder you can see him against the greenery. He doesn't say a word but his face says it all.

he can feel justified in his suspicions all along and insist it was about a gut feeling not jealousy but the truth is this was his immediate reaction to seeing Steve's closeness with another man that wasn't him. He had no reason to be suspicious of anything in this instant he just looks scandalised that Steve had other....friends before him 😏

Verdict: The accusations of jealousy stand.

[scientifically-strange]

The avengers think phantom is some kind of ancient and eldrich god-like being because he was introduced to them as the Ghost King, and he frequently name drops the Literal God Of Time as a father figure. Would you write them talking to him about something without them knowing/learning about him being a halfa? We all know what a dork danny is but I love the idea of him trying to play Serious and Terrifying Ghost around humans

They all know from experience that gods and other otherworldly beings can come in any shape or form that they so choose, so when Phantom introduces himself (or, is rather introduced to them by the ghost he fought) as the Undead King, nobody bats an eye. After all, they're the Avengers. They've seen weirder shit happen.

But even though it doesn't surprise them to know that despite his small appearance, they can feel the power oozing off of him. He unintentionally exudes it. When he's angry his eyes flash green, and when he's scared or on edge the temperature around them drops dangerously in a couple short seconds.

He arms wrestles with Thor because he thinks it's fun, and almost every time he wins. It's not some show of power, or bending of will, or any kind of intimidation tactic. It's like he's actually a kid who just wants to give the god of thunder a run for his money.

He doesn't flaunt his power by any means, but it still puts most of them on edge. Even Wanda is intimidated. The first time he walked into the common room she just got up and left, looking pale and clammy.

And, well, they have an idea of how actually powerful he is. He is a King after all. He didn't get that title from batting his eyes and asking nicely. Every villain they've faced, ghost or otherwise, has been defeated within minutes. Phantom is brutally efficient, only taking the minimum amount of time necessary to get the job done. When he's in the compound, it's all fun and games, but as soon as they get to the briefing room, his whole demeanor changes. The only thing that consistently stays is his smart mouth. It's in these moments that he looks older than he actually is. They're so used to his young, boyish face that when he becomes serious, he almost looks like a completely different person.

But the whole effect is kind of ruined when they've seen the kid stick his head in a freezer because the summer is too hot. Or when he got his hand stuck in a pringles can and forgot he could just phase through it. Or when he was excited and sometimes forgot to knock in his excitement, instead just phasing through the door or the wall.

He also consistently namedrops the Father of Time like he's talking about his dad, of whom he pointedly does not speak about. Natasha asked about his parents only once, but when the temperature dropped so fast Steve had a panic attack they decided not to bring it up again.

And it's funny-hilarious, even-that this all powerful being, stronger than any god they've ever met, is still so incredibly childish. It becomes easier and easier to forget that when they die, there's a chance Phantom will have rein over their souls. In fact, they don't even think about it as the very real possibility it is.

And seeing this side of him, seeing the childish, joyful, playful antics that he often got up to, was like a breath of fresh air. Sure, he was the King of Ghost, literal all powerful god that even Thor had shied away from at first, but he was still just a kid.

So it's really funny when said kid is trying to be serious outside of the battlefield.

Much to Phantom's growing frustration.

"You know, I could take you all down with a flick of my wrist," Danny told them all seriously. Clint snorted into the glass of water he was drinking from, causing him to choke on it a little. Bruce patted his back, but was giving Phantom a mirthful smile from his spot across the table.

"Awe, did the wittle ghost king miss nap time?" Tony teased. Phantom's eye twitched in annoyance. Next to him, Steve was chuckling.

"Are you gonna call your dad on us?" Natasha asked, ruffling Phantom's hair. Phantom just rolled his eyes and slapped her hands away.

"No way. I can handle my own problems. You guys, in the grand scheme of things, aren't all that powerful." At their laughter, Phantom pressed further. "I'm serious! I'm just saying, if it was me against all of you combined, I would win. It's a logical argument."

"You really think you can go up against Thor and the Hulk and come out winning?" Clint asked, finally getting over his coughing fit.

"I don't think I can," Phantom told him. "I know I can."

Because, in another, darker timeline, he's done it before. But he wasn't going to sour the mood with his own nightmares.

"Oh, pretty cocky for someone so small," Natasha teased.

"I'll have you know I'm quite the average size," Phantom retorted, crossing his arms and sticking his nose in the air.

"It's okay, kid, we all have performance issues," Tony said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Phantom sputtered, turning bright green as he blushed at the implications. Steve smacked Tony on the back of the head, ignoring the pained cry that came afterwards as he turned to Phantom.

"We're very sure you can take any of us down in a fight," Steve said placatingly. Almost as if he was talking to a child, bartering desert privileges. "But could you take out Kang the Conqueror by yourself?"

"Yes," Phantom answered immediately. Because, again, he already has. Having Clockwork as a father figure came with its responsibilities as well as its perks.

"Dr. Doom?" Clint asked. Phantom just nodded.

"The entire Fantastic Four, all at once?" Bruce pondered. Phantom again just nodded.

"I'm a ghost, guys. There's nobody I can't take down if I really wanted to."

"What about that giant sentient planet Starlord was talking about last time he visited?" Natasha asked.

"I mean, yeah probably. It would take some work but I could do it."

"Oh, and the Hulk is just small fry?" Clint asked, clearly not believing a word Phantom said. Phantom just shrugged and offered a small nod.

"Yeah, in the grand scheme of things."

Everybody stared at him for an uncomfortable amount of time before simultaneously bursting into laughter once more. Phantom, seemingly getting nowhere with this, just huffed and slumped in his seat.

"He is so cute when he tries to be serious," Wanda said through her reserved chuckles. She was idly stirring the spoon in her tea with her powers.

"I'm not cute," Phantom groaned. "I'm dangerous, and you all need to take me seriously."

The words just caused another chain of laughter.

Phantom could do nothing but throw his hands in the air, exasperated.

Still, he couldn't help but smile.

[frankiefellinlove]

These were the times...

On April 10 2014 the legendary E Street Band

Was inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame.

Bruce Springsteen made the Induction Speech.

In the beginning, there was Mad Dog Vincent Lopez, standing in front of me, fresh out of jail, his head shaved, in the Mermaid Room of the Upstage Club in Asbury Park. He told me that he had a money-making outfit called Speed Limit 25, they were looking for a guitarist, and was I interested? I was broke, so I was. So the genesis point of the E Street Band was actually a group that Vini Lopez asked me to join to make a few extra dollars on the weekend.

Shortly thereafter, I met Dan Federici. He was draped in a three quarter-length leather, had his red hair slicked back. His wife Flo, she was decked out in a blonde bouffant wig, and they were straight out of Flemington, New Jersey. [Cheers] Whoa! Flemington!

Vini, Danny, myself, along with bass player Vinnie Roslin, were shortly woodshedding out of a cottage on the main street of a lobster-fishing town, Highlands, New Jersey. I first saw Garry Tallent along with Southside Johnny when they dragged two chairs onto an empty dance floor as I plugged my guitar into the Upstage wall of sound. I was the new kid in a new town, and these were the guys who owned the place, and they sat back and looked at me like, "Come on, come on, punk, bring it — let's see what you got." And I reached back, and I burnt their house down.

But predating all of this was Steve Van Zandt. Singer! Frontman! Frontman! He was the frontman — I walked into the Middletown Hullabaloo Club, he was the frontman for a band called The Shadows. He had on a tie that went from here down to his feet. All I remember is that he was singing The Turtles' "Happy Together." During a break — at the Hullabaloo Club in New Jersey, you played 55 minutes on and five minutes off, and if there was a fight, you had to rush back onstage and start playing again. So I met Stevie there, and he soon became my great... bass player first, then great guitarist. My consigliere, he's my dependable devil’s advocate whenever I need one. He is the invaluable ears for everything that I create — I always get a hold of him — and fan number one. He's my comic foil onstage, my fellow producer/arranger, and my blood, blood, blood, blood, blood brother, for so long. So, Stevie, let’s keep rolling for as many lives as they’ll give us, alright?

Years and bands went by: Child, Steel Mill, the Bruce Springsteen Band... they were all some combo of the above-mentioned gang. Then I scored a solo recording contract with Columbia Records, and I argued to get to choose my recording "sidemen" — which was a misnomer, in this case, if there ever was one. So, I chose my band, and my great friends, and we finally landed on E Street. A rare, rock 'n' roll hybrid of solo artistry and a true rock 'n' roll band.

But one big thing was missing.

So! It was a dark and stormy night! [Laughs] As a Nor’easter rattled the street lamps of Kingsley Blvd! And in walked Clarence Clemons. I'd been enthralled by the sax sounds of King Curtis and Junior Walker and had searched for years for a great rock 'n' roll saxophonist, and that night Clarence walked in, walked towards the stage, and he rose, towering to my right on the Prince's tiny stage, about the size of this podium, and then he unleashed the force of nature that was the sound and the soul of the Big Man. In that moment, I knew that my life had changed. Miss you, love you, Big Man — we wish you were here with us tonight. This would mean a great, great deal to Clarence.

An honorable mention and shout-out to Ernie "Boom" Carter, the drummer who played on one song only: "Born to Run." He picked a good one, he picked a good one. So here's to you, Ernie. Thank you, thank you.

And thank you of course to Max Weinberg and Roy Bittan, who answered an ad in the Village Voice, and they beat out 60 other drummers and keyboardists for the job. It was the indefatigable, almost dangerously dedicated Mighty Max Weinberg and the fabulous flying fingers of Professor Roy Bittan. They refined and they defined the sound of the E Street Band that remains our calling card around the world to this day. Thank you, Roy. Thank you, Max. They are my professional hitmen! Love you both.

Then, ten years later, Nils Lofgren and Patti Scialfa joined just in time to assist us in the rebirth of Born in the U.S.A. Nils, one of the world's great, great rock guitarists with the choir boy’s voice, has given me everything he’s had for the past 30 years. Thank you, Nils. So much love.

And Patti Scialfa, a Jersey Girl, came down one weekend from New York City and sat in with a local band, Cats on a Smooth Surface and Bobby Bandiera at the Stone Pony, and she sang a killer version of The Exciters' "Tell Him." She had a voice that was filled with a little Ronnie Spector, a little Dusty Springfield, and a lot of something that was her very, very own. After she was done, I walked up, I introduced myself to her at the back bar. We grabbed a couple of stools and we sat there for the next hour — or 30 years or so [laughs]. Talked about music and everything else. So we added my lovely red-headed woman, and she broke the boys club!

I wanted our band to mirror our audience, and by 1984, that meant grown men and grown women. But, her entrance freaked us out so much that the opening night of the Born in the U.S.A. tour, I asked her to come in to my dressing room and see what she was gonna wear. And she had on kind of a slightly feminine T-shirt, and I stood there, kind of sweating. At my feet, I had a little Samsonite luggage bag that I carried with me, and I kicked it open, and it was full of all my smelly, sweaty T-shirts. And I said, "Just pick one of these [laughs]. It'll be fine!" She's not wearing one tonight. But Patti, I love you, thank you for your beautiful voice, you changed my band and my life. Thank you, honey. Thank you for our beautiful children.

Real bands: real bands are made primarily from the neighborhood. From a real time and a real place that exists for a little while, then changes, and is gone forever. They're made from the same circumstances, the same needs, the same hungers, culture, from the same need for a love to cover over hurt. They're forged in the search of something more promising then what you were born into. These are the elements, the tools, and these are the people who built a place called E Street.

Now, E Street was a dance, was an idea, was a wish, was a refuge, was a home, was a destination, was a gutter dream, and finally, it was a band. We struggled together, and sometimes we struggled with one another. We bathed in the glory and often the heartbreaking confusion of our rewards together. We’ve enjoyed health, and we've suffered illness and aging and death together. We took care of one another when trouble knocked, and we hurt one another in big and small ways.

But in the end, we kept faith with each other. And one thing is for certain: as I've said before in reference to Clarence Clemons, I told a story with the E Street Band that was and is bigger than I ever could have told on my own. And I believe that that settles that question. For that is the hallmark of a rock 'n' roll band: the narrative you tell together is bigger than any one of you could have told on your own. That’s the Rolling Stones. That's the Sex Pistols. That's Bob Marley... and the Wailers. That's James Brown... and his Famous Flames. That's Neil Young and Crazy Horse. So, I thank you, my beautiful men and women of E Street. You made me dream and love bigger than I ever could have without you.

And tonight I stand here with just one regret. That's that Danny and Clarence can't be with us tonight. Sixteen years ago, a few evenings before my own induction, I stood in my own darkened kitchen along with Steve Van Zandt. Steve was just returning to the band, after a 15-year hiatus, and he was petitioning me to push the Hall of Fame to induct all of us together. And I listened, and the Hall of Fame had its rule, and I was proud of my independence. We hadn't played together in ten years, we were somewhat estranged. We were just taking the first small steps of reforming, and we didn't know what the future would bring. And perhaps a shadow of the some of the old grudges still held some sway. It was a conundrum, because we'd never been quite fish nor fowl. And Steve was quiet, but persistent, and at the end of our conversation he just said, "Yeah, yeah, I understand... but Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band — that's the legend."

So I’m proud to induct, into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the heart-stopping, pants-dropping, hard-rocking, booty-shaking, love-making, earth-quaking, Viagra-taking, testifying, death-defying, legendary E Street Band!

[headoverheelss]

The Song The Birds Sang | Chapter 5: Friendship

Tags: Mentions of Bullying, Child Abuse, Neglect, Eating Disorder, Everybody Lives Au, No-Upside Down, Eddie and Chrissy are brother and sister energy, Graduation, OOC Summary: Chrissy graduates and introduces Eddie to a couple of special people. Eddie unknowingly gains a new friendship with Steve Harrington. Notes: This one kind of away from me but I hope you all like it!!

That day in detention sparked something between the two boys. Eddie wouldn't call Steve a friend but more like an acquaintance. Whenever Steve passed him in the hall, Eddie would give him a nod which got acknowledged then they would go about their days.

Eddie noticed that Steve was starting to become distant from the jocks in a way. Sure he still sat at the designated popular kids' table but it would be away from the antics. Sometimes there would be a girl or two keeping him company but other than that Steve wouldn't interact with anyone.

He started hearing about the way King Steve had changed from his friends one day.

It was April, they were at Danny's house since his mom didn't care that they took over the garage with their band practices. They were taking a break, it was hot and Danny's mom didn't want them to pass out.

"You know," Kevin put down his soda, "King Steve has been awfully quiet lately."

Danny nodded, "Yea, he only says things when any of his other asshole friends say shit besides that he's been really chill."

His friends continued chattering to each other while he sipped his soda.

Maybe my advice worked on him?

It warmed Eddie's heart that the jock took his advice seriously. He liked to think maybe in another time or place then they could be friends.

Maybe.

----

The end of Eddie's Sophomore Year was coming fast which made him excited. He had never been busier. Luckily, he didn't get any detentions or suspensions not that it meant he didn't get in trouble.

He had learned how to just do it away from prying eyes.

The band was booked to play some shows over the summer. Kevin had come to him saying that he knew an incoming Freshman by the name of Gareth that would be perfect on drums. Eddie decided to have him at the next practice so the boy could try out for them.

Gareth was a little bit smaller than him with a head of curls. He still looked like a baby but Eddie could see the potential, especially cause Gareth was interested in playing DnD, Hellfire needed more members, and the kid was amazing at the drums.

Eddie slapped Gareth on the back welcoming him to Corroded Coffin.

The summer excitement could be felt among the students at Hawkins High. Eddie was meeting with at least 10 students every day he had to bring lunch out in the forest with him.

He wasn't complaining. The extra money was needed since he was saving up for a car and Chrissy's graduation present.

His birthday was coming up in June. Eddie was always embarrassed because he was one of the youngest in his grade. This might be a reason why they targeted him but nonetheless, it was driving him crazy waiting to turn 16.

Danny and Kevin were already both 16 and had their license. Eddie only had his permit so he was left practicing every Sunday with Uncle Wayne.

All he wanted to do was have his license and car so Uncle Wayne wouldn't have to worry about him so much. In addition, it would be nice to have a little freedom and he could hang out with Chrissy more.

Speaking of Chrissy, the younger girl was extremely nervous. Graduation was fast approaching. Every time Eddie saw her, she looked like she hadn't slept in weeks.

There was a Wednesday in May which was two weeks before graduation. Chrissy was hanging out with Eddie after school.

They were doing homework at the kitchen counter. Chrissy had brought up the topic of Steve.

"So have you talked to him since you know," She leaned forward, her tone teasing, "the whole detention thing."

Eddie scoffed, ignoring the blush that started spreading across his face, "No, I mean...I've said hi to him in the halls but nothing too long. He's always with a girl," Eddie tried not to let the jealously leak into his voice, "but he has been quieter."

"What do you mean?"

Eddie sighed, trying to find the right words, "Well, it's like he's being less like a dickhead and I'm not the only one who has noticed."

Chrissy furrowed her eyebrows, "I'll believe it when I see it. He was a real douchebag at school. I was always so surprised so many girls liked him."

Eddie chuckled, turning back to his essay, "Speaking of douchebags. Has Jason been bothering you?"

The younger girl groaned, "No...I mean...He's stopped all the questions and stuff. I just wished he would stop staring at me."

Jason had taken the cold shoulder pretty hard. Eddie was prepared to step in once when he saw Jason get on Chrissy's nerves but she had stood her ground. Eddie was proud of her.

"And you won't tell me about these mystery crushes, of yours?" Eddie knocked into her shoulder playfully.

Chrissy's face turned red. She shook her head. Eddie took it as a sign of not wanting to talk anymore.

They enjoyed a couple more minutes of silence. Eddie took a long look at her. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, there were dark circles under her eyes, and he didn't like how exhausted she looked. Like she could break at any second, Eddie pushed his textbook away.

"So I know you're reaching that age when you start talking back but I just wanted to know," Eddie took his hand in hers, "is everything okay at home?"

Chrissy sighed, "You noticed didn't you?"

Eddie rubbed the back of her hand gently, "It's getting bad again...isn't it?"

The younger girl felt tears start to fill her eyes, and her lip trembled, "It's like nothing I do is ever good for her, Eddie. And I'm so tired that I just don't want to..." Her voice faded out. Eddie already filling in the word she left out.

He got up from his seat, moving towards his best friend. Eddie wrapped his arms around her, feeling her start to cry silently into his chest.

"I'm sorry, Chris. They don't deserve you and whenever you feel like you need to get out, just know that there is always a space here for you."

Eddie rubbed soothing circles into her back, waiting for her cries to subside. When she was done, Chrissy looked up at him. A sad smile graced her face.

"Thanks, Eddie."

"Anytime, Chris," He clapped his hands together, "How about some tomato soup and grilled cheese?"

Chrissy nodded her head happily. Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches were always her comfort food. Eddie always made sure to have all ingredients on hand just in case.

He hoped that the graduation coming up would be a happy event for Chrissy. The girl deserved it.

-----

Two weeks flew by. Eddie found himself stuffed inside Hawkins middle school's gym. He had tried to fix himself up for the occasion but it was hard since he didn't exactly own a suit. He wore a nice dress shirt and pants.

There were people all over so Eddie stuck himself far away so that he wouldn't be approached by Chrissy's parents. If he did, it wouldn't bode well for any of them. He didn't want Chrissy getting mad at him on her special day.

He was in the corner which was secluded but not too far that he wasn't unable to see her. The music started, and everybody fell into a silent hush as they watched the graduates walk in.

Eddie spotted her right away. She was in the front since her last name started with C. Chrissy looked nervous, her eyes scanned the crowd looking for somebody.

Eddie stood up, knowing that she wasn't looking for her parents. Once she spotted him, Chrissy gave him a big bright smile. She turned back around, the tension gone from her body.

The procession went fast. Eddie thought that maybe the school wanted to get this over with.

"CHRISSY CUNINGHAM!"

Eddie stood up, clapping and yelling loudly. Chrissy gave him a little wave. Embarrassment and love were evident on her face. Eddie didn't pay attention to the rest of the names. He was filled with too much excitement. He wanted to see Chris already. The present he got her was in his back pocket next to a card from Uncle Wayne.

The throwing of caps and the excited shouts of middle schoolers turning into high schoolers brought his attention back down to Earth. The ceremony was done. Chrissy had done it.

Eddie got up from his seat, making his way to stand on the opposite wall of the gym. He knew not to bother Chrissy now. She was probably with her parents but he trusted her to sneak away.

Her parents wouldn't make a scene in front of all these people. They had a reputation to uphold. It made Eddie hate them even more.

He watched the crowd in front of him. All the kids talked to each other excitedly. Parents watched on proudly as they took pictures. Nobody paid any attention to him. He did get some curious glances from some but others were too scared to look at him.

He did see Gareth with his parents. Eddie gave a wave, congratulating the kid and telling him that he would see Gareth at practice.

After an eternity, Eddie saw Chrissy's blonde hair.

"Eddie!", she yelled excitedly, running forward only giving Eddie enough time to make sure he caught her.

He twirled her around. They were both laughing, and happiness could be found on both of their faces.

"Look at you," Eddie put her down, ruffling her hair since her cap had fallen off from the run, "welcome to high school, freshman!"

Chrissy grumbled, pushing Eddie's hand off her head.

"Stop! You're embarrassing me."

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry, "Eddie pulled the card and present from his back pocket, "Hopefully this would make up for it."

Chrissy took the presents from his hand, "And what is this?"

Eddie started playing with his hair, "Well the card has some money in it from Uncle Wayne and the box is something special from me."

He watched Chrissy opening the box. The girl's eyes lit up when she saw what was inside. They were a pair of earrings, something that she had talked to him about before.

"Do you like them?"

Chrissy nodded a smile on her face, "Thank you, Eddie."

That's when Eddie noticed two people that were staring at him. Eddie looked up curious how he didn't notice the two girls. Chrissy caught on to what he was looking at. She followed his gaze to the two girls standing behind her.

Chrissy's face broke out into a blush before motioning for the girls to come over.

"Um, Eddie this is Nancy Wheeler," Chrissy pointed to the girl to her left. Nancy was small but her eyes were fierce. Eddie knew not to ever mess with her.

Eddie bowed, smiling when he heard the girls laugh, "Nice to meet you, Nancy."

He held his hand out, and the girl took it. A sweet smile on her face.

Chrissy let out a breath, she didn't know that she was holding in. She gestured to the girl on her right, "And this is Robin Buckley."

Eddie had a weird feeling that he heard this name before but couldn't put a pin on where exactly he heard it from.

Robin was taller, almost as tall as Eddie. Her hair was cut short but her makeup wasn't anything like all the other girls here. It was different.

Eddie did the same spiel to Robin that he did to Nancy. After he shook Robin's hand, Chrissy introduced Eddie.

"And this is The Eddie Munson that I've told you all about," Chrissy took a moment before continuing, "He's basically my Big Brother."

If Eddie wasn't in front of a bunch of people, he would have started crying. Chrissy had always told him that she thought of him as a family but to actually hear her say it was something else.

Eddie took a deep breath, controlling his emotions before he talked.

"S-so are you all friends?" Eddie watched as the girls gave each other secretive smiles.

"You could say something like that," Robin spoke up from Chrissy's right.

Eddie watched the way Chrissy looked at him then at the girls, she wore the biggest smile on her face. He knew now why Chrissy had been so hesitant about letting him know who she was crushing on.

"There you are!"

Eddie was thrown out of his epiphany by Steve Harrington walking towards them. The boy was wearing a nice dark blue suit. It made him look handsome. His hair of course was perfect.

"Robin, your parents have been looking for you everywhere."

Steve's eyes moved around to survey the whole group before stopping at Eddie, who probably had the stupidest grin on his face.

"Eddie?"

The girls could feel a weird tension once Steve had seen Eddie. Chrissy knew the girls wouldn't be bothered about Eddie being gay but she couldn't say anything until she got permission from Eddie.

Eddie gave a sheepish grin, "Hey, Stevie."

The moment it had left Eddie's mouth, he wanted to take it back. His face burned brightly and he could feel Chrissy's teasing grin pointed his way.

Steve coughed awkwardly, his own blush creeping up his neck. It was Robin's turn to smirk annoyingly at Steve.

"So...um.... Chrissy," Steve pointed at the smaller girl in front of him, "she's the one that your best friend?"

Eddie mentally thanked Steve for the subject change. He walked forward putting a shoulder around Chrissy.

"Yep, basically my little sister, "Chrissy smiled brightly.

Steve stepped forward, chuckling. He tried putting a shoulder around Robin but she shoved him roughly. The group laughed at Steve's expense.

"Yea, I get what you mean. Sorry, Nance." He gestured to the young girl who was left out

She shrugged, "It's alright. Having a little brother is enough for me."

Steve looked around at the whole group, trying to find something to talk about, "So what are the plans for the summer?"

The girls shrugged while Eddie took his arm off of Chrissy fixing his hair, "Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that. It's my birthday in June so finally turning 16."

Steve smiled, "Oh wow, you are only turning 16! I'm going to be 16 in like November."

Eddie rolled his eyes, unknowingly walking closer to Steve, "Ha, ha, laugh it up. At least, I'm cooler than you."

Robin had enough of the stupid banter that was honestly boarding on flirting. She cleared her throat catching the attention of the boys before her. They jumped back, noticing that they have been almost face to face.

"Well, if it seems we are such close friends," Eddie noted when the two other girls giggled at Robin's use of friends, "why don't we have a pool party? Obviously at Steve's place."

Steve's eyes widen, "Why at my place?"

Robin rolled her eyes, "Cause you have a pool, and your parents are never home."

Eddie felt concerned for a second, at the mention of Steve's parents never being home.

Steve sighed, "Fine as long as it's okay with everybody?"

There was a chorus of okays from the girls. Eddie played with his hair in thought. He was playing with fire he knew it. It was dangerous what he was doing but he was curious to see where Steve lived.

"Eddie?" Steve looked at him with those big brown eyes, making Eddie melt a little.

"Welllll, I don't know," Eddie ignored the groans from the girls, "I mean, how am I supposed to know when to show up at his house," Eddie gestured to Steve, "We don't exactly have school anymore after tomorrow."

It was true tomorrow was the last day of school for the high school students. There was no way he could find out when exactly they are supposed to have this pool party.

Nancy stepped forward with a pen and paper in her hand. Steve took it.

"What am I supposed to with this?"

Nancy sighed, "Write down your number and give it to Eddie then Eddie you give him your number that way we could figure this out."

She stepped back toward Chrissy, "Are they always like this?"

Chrissy giggled, "I don't really know this is the first time I have seen them interact."

Robin piped up from her right, "Something tells me this is normal for them."

The two boys stared at each other not moving. Eddie with shaking hands decided to get this over with. He took the paper ripping it in half then scribbled his number on it, giving the pen back to Steve when he was done. Steve was able to get his body working. He scribbled down his number, then the boys interchanged the papers.

Robin clapped her hands, 'Well now that that's done. We got to go."

The girls said goodbye promising to call each other. Nancy walked away to her family. Robin pulled Steve to her family. Steve waved goodbye at Eddie who waved back.

Finally, Chrissy patted Eddie on the back.

"That was rough."

Eddie scoffed, the piece of paper burning a hole in his pocket. He gave Chrissy one last hug before turning towards the exit

"See you later, Chris. Remember our trailer is always open."

Chrissy laughed while walking into the crowd, going to find her parents.

"I'll keep that in mind."