#dang I should just figure out how to poetry

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi. Thank you for what you do! It’s super cool to see and to learn from your blog! Now it’s my turn to ask something after all this time. I’m an INFP 9w1 and I’m recently really frustrated with everything. I am coming into contact with the seething anger that lies beneath the surface of every Nine. My main thing I’m mad about right now is how I don’t have a god dang thing figured out. I’m going to be turning 24 in a few months and I feel like I haven’t done jack. I’m stuck in a job I hate so much. I can’t even care enough to show up on time anymore. The only reason I stay is that it pays the bills but it’s not worth it at this point anymore. I’ve worked there for four years. I only got the job because my sister worked there and the manager didn’t even interview me. I just got hired because my sister was good at it. I’ve been taking a class but this class is self-paced and I keep forgetting about it and I’m devastated because I told people I was taking this class because I was excited about it. I was excited about the prospect of getting a new career but it’s like every time someone brings up the class now, I cringe because I’m not keeping up with it at a normal human rate. I’m scared to tell people about the things I’m excited about that involve a measure of commitment because I always lose my steam. And also my sister who is an ISFJ 3w2 is great but also she doesn’t understand how I lose my motivation and she gets mad at me about it and why I am I afraid of what she thinks? Like, we’re both adults and who cares? But she’s been like a second mother to me so maybe that’s why I care so much. I can’t bear the potential disappointment. And then my mom is an ISFJ 6w5 and she always brings up how I have so much potential but the idea of having “so much potential” terrifies me to the ends of the earth. I have things I’m naturally inclined towards, like art and languages and poetry, and I have so many ideas of what I want to do but never the drive to go through with it. How do I go through with it? How do I find the motivation? I know this anger is a compass of sorts but it’s like I think in concepts and I can’t put any of it into words. How do I trust myself to follow through on things? Because I don’t. I really don’t. Why am I not a naturally motivated person?

I asked a 9 INFP I know what to do in this situation, and he said you should start small with things and then let the momentum build and carry you along with it. It's hard for 9s to find motivation and to take up space in the world; it's hard for them to push themselves outside of their comfort zone; it's hard for them to muster the energy to do big things when they are introverts. But if you don't, you will wind up angry, frustrated, and full of self-hatred, as you are right now.

Anger is good for a 9. It means you've had enough. Take some of that anger and choose to act with it. 9s are "doing" repressed. That means they think and dream rather than take action -- but it gets them nowhere, so they need to decide on a plan and then develop the self-commitment to take the first steps it requires. If you hate your job, quit and find another one. Finish your class. Decide what time you are going to work on it every day and do it. Seek out what made you excited about it, and set your own barriers in place. If it's self-paced, does that mean you can finish it sooner rather than later? If so, would the idea of getting it done, and having that to motivate you, get you to do the work? How can you motivate yourself? Is it enough to think about the life you want and how this is going to get you there?

A 9 told me once she realized quite young that if she wanted to do and see everything her heart desired, she was going to have to get up off her butt and take action. So... take some action. Pick what you want to work on and then do it. Force yourself to do it. Often, if you just commit to a small change, it leads to bigger things. ("I will read this for ten minutes." "Well, I can actually do longer than this..." "I will write 50 words... that took no time at all, I'll write more!") Set small goals that it would be impossible to fail at, and you'll be surprised how much easier it is to keep going once you actually show up.

[televinita]

I just stumbled across this, and while I don’t really like to sign up for reading challenges, I love checking them after the fact to see how many I happened to complete with my natural reading habits. So. Let’s go!

(text version of the prompts & my answers under the cut)

With a color in the name: ✅ Operation Red Jericho

Set in a foreign country: ✅ Secret Scribbled Notebooks (Australia)

Recommended by a friend: ❌ ...huh. I truly do not think I was influenced even by a Goodreads friend about a single book this year. As far as I can tell I came across everything on my own or in a general blog post.

Part of a series: ✅ The Killer in the Carriage House (Victorian Village Mysteries)

That you should have read in school: Dracula (j/k, I did not participate in the Tumblr book club at all) ❌

On the New York Times Bestseller list: ✅ As Good As Dead by Holly Jackson (I had to do some googling to figure out an answer here; I truly do not pay attention to this beyond knowing I hardcore ignore most of the books people are talking about)

Already on your bookshelf: ✅ Eden Summer, among a handful of others

With an animal in the name: ✅ Bearstone

From an author you already know: ✅ The Runaway’s Diary by Marilyn Harris

About health and wellness: ❌

With a pretty book cover: ✅ Fading Starlight by Kathryn Cushman

More than 20 years old: ✅ x 18; let’s randomly pick Drop Out by Jeannette Eyerley (1969)

Released in the year you were born: ❌ (dangit! I got as close as the year before...)

Published this year: ✅ x 10, like An Unforgiving Place by Claire Kells

Translated from another language: ❌

With a female protagonist:  ✅ x at least 70. Random pick: All The Things You Are by Courtney Sheinmel

That’s a memoir: ✅ Funny Farm: My Unexpected Life with 600 Rescue Animals (alternatively: Things I Should Have Said by JLS; I Want To Be Where the Normal People Are by Rachel Bloom)

With a one-word title: ✅ Damselfly; Brood

That was made into a movie: ✅ There You’ll Find Me

Over 500 pages long: ❌

Under 100 pages long: ✅ 42 Miles by Tracie Vaughn Zimmer

With a music or art theme: ✅ In Summer Light by Zibby Oneal

Involving water: ✅ What Waits in the Water (too on the nose?); Lake Season; The Lake Season

With a green book cover: ✅ assuming predominantly green/green background counts because few books are a solid color (unless that’s the challenge) -- Mom Jeans and Other Mistakes

Set in the 1800s: ✅ A Rumored Fortune (whew! I had exactly 1 here)

With a magical element: ✅ Spellbook of the Lost and Found

That’s a one-hit wonder: ✅ Holly Jolly Summer by Tiffany Stewart (I’m counting it based on it having been 4-going-on-5 years with nothing on the horizon)

About nature: ✅ Small Game

With chapter titles: ✅ Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts

With an index: ✅ Speaking For Ourselves - ed. David Gallo

With a map in the front: ✅ The Secret of Blandford Hall

That you heard about from a co-worker: ❌  

Bought from your local bookstore: ✅ A Patron Saint for Junior Bridesmaids (it didn’t specify new bookstore!)

That’s a Young Adult novel: ✅ x 30+ *spins a wheel* “The Mall.”

Only published as an e-book: ❌ (not even a shorty! :P) (please read that as “pbbbbbbt”)

About sports: ❌

That’s a murder mystery: ✅ x a bunch, like A Shroud of Leaves

Featuring the LGBTQ+ community: ✅ can a community be a girl and her ex? Because if so, We Are Okay. Otherwise, slim pickings.

By an author who shares your name: ✅ While You Sleep

On audiobook read by the author: ✅ Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better At It? - Kim & Penn Holderness

That’s a guilty pleasure: ✅ Castaways by Brian Keene (introducing me to the concept of “splatterpunk,” an experience I will not be repeating...but dang was this an addictive ride)

Written by 2 authors: ✅ Gideon’s Sword by Doug Prescott & Lincoln Child

Of poetry: ❌

About business: ✅ The Escape Room by Megan Goldin (TECHNICALLY there is a lot of talk about working in finance!)

About current events: ✅ Lies Like Wildfire (as the author was inspired by the recent California wildfires, I AM COUNTING IT)

Everyone is talking about: ✅ A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder

Based on a real person: ❌

That’s a coming of age story: ✅ *spins a wheel on the YA* Gap Life sounds good, or maybe Full Flight

About science: ❌

That makes you smile: ✅ The Maisie Lockwood Adventures! (on a related note: I really need to read more light/fun/happy books in ‘23)

FINAL GRADE: C (38/50) 😕

Maybe I should grade it on a curve...

P.S. There are technically still several days left in December and I got nothin’ but time, so I could still improve upon this score! Will come back to edit if and when I knock out additional accomplishments.

There is also one for 2023 at the source if you want to do it properly next year.

[frodo-with-glasses]

Assorted thoughts from reading today

Three Is Company

Frodo is as slow to get out the door as my family is. Fixing to start to prepare to get ready to go.

Frodo really left the dirty dishes for Lobelia to clean up like “<3”

The presence of the Black Riders dogging the hobbits’ footsteps is terrifying. The mystery of who and what they are and the dread of where they’ll be next is like a suspense thriller.

Tolkien randomly switches into the POV of a fox that found Frodo, Sam, and Pippin asleep outside and that’s just delightfully storybookish and random and I love it.

Frodo recites poetry ALL. THE. TIME. What a NERD.

The descriptions of the different locales of the Shire is so very detailed and beautiful that you feel like you’re really there, walking along with the hobbits. Nearly every paragraph could be its own painting.

Dang, I remembered that Frodo & Co. ran into elves pretty early on in the journey, but I’d forgotten they were STILL IN THE SHIRE when it happened!

Frodo impressing the elves with his knowledge of High Speech was one of my favorite moments from the book and still is. Nerd appreciation.

Okay the elven wood-hall was definitely my secret inspiration for many details of my own fantasy world as a kid, rediscovering it feels so weird, what the heck—

FINROD. ELVES OF THE HOUSE OF FINROD. MENELVAGOR IS THE CONSTELLATION THAT REPRESENTS TURIN. I KNOW WHO ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE NOW. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

A Short Cut to Mushrooms

The thought of Frodo stealing mushrooms from Farmer Maggot as a kid is so funny to me now. He really was a rascal.

If I were any better at drawing dogs I’d draw Farmer Maggot’s dog Wolf growling in Frodo’s face. Even a normal-sized pit bull would be enormous to hobbits.

Mrs. Maggot packing Frodo some mushrooms in a basket has the same energy as all the passive-aggressive gifts Bilbo left his relatives. Do hobbits just regularly diss each other with presents or is everyone in this story just a huge bundle of sass?

Remind me to do that text post about which members of the Fellowship could hold their own in a conversation with hobbits about mushrooms…

A Conspiracy Unmasked

BRO GOLLUM GOT INTO THE SHIRE. WHAT. He doesn’t get close to the hobbits because of the water but DANG he found them quick.

Frodo’s new house in Crickhollow is one of those that Tolkien mentions in the forward: not a proper hole in a hill, but a house built to look like one, with a turf roof. I wish I’d paid more attention to that detail as a kid because it gives this clear emotion of “trying to be the real thing, and pleasant in its own way, but just not the same”.

One lovely detail that’s lost in the movie is just how sneakily Frodo’s friends scheme against him (for his good) to figure out what the heck he’s up to and prepare to go with him. In the film, Merry and Pippin just happen to (literally) bump into Frodo and Sam and tag along because it’s fun I guess and they care about Frodo, and that’s lovely in its own way, but the Conspiracy really makes them out to be much smarter and more careful than you’d imagine hobbits to be.

From now on, if I ever have to refer to Merry, Pippin, and Sam as a group, I’m calling them “the Conspirators” or “the Three Musketeers”.

Sam, upon being revealed as the informant: “Yes, sir! Begging your pardon, sir! But Gandalf did say you shouldn’t go alone, and you should take someone you can trust.” Frodo: “But it doesn’t seem I can trust anyone!” Sam: :-C

Ohhhh uh-oh I’d forgotten about what happens to Fatty Bolger. Don’t spoil it for me just yet—I’ll remember when I get there. But uh. 0.0

This line. Get yourself friends like this. Heck, BE a friend like this.

[naomibeetee]

How To Survive Writer’s Burnout

We’ve all been there. Right in the thick of our writing adventure, suddenly our drive to continue goes missing. Maybe you are having a bad brain day. Maybe you are feeling a bit lazy and un-motivated. Maybe you are flirting with a spurt of writer’s block. However, a lot of the time, whether you realize it or not, it can be burnout you are actually experiencing.

Burnout is scary. You’ve pushed and pushed and pushed yourself so hard, and now you have nothing left to give. Burnout in writers can happen quite frequently, especially when we work ourselves to the bone, don’t take breaks, don’t do mental health checks, and don’t take care of our bodies.

The past several months have been particularly brutal for me. It was small at first, hardly noticeable. My drive to write became nonexistent. My desire to create was gone. My love of writing had been snuffed out, and my feelings of being a raging failure were gargantuan. I’d stare at my WIP and hate it, so I stopped staring at it altogether. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by a healthy dose of burnout. Let me tell you, it’s not a fun time. 0/10 do not recommend. I’m beginning to work through it, but every day is a struggle. Sometimes I win, and sometimes I don’t.

So, maybe you’re in the same boat. Maybe you’re feeling burnt out….now what? How do you get out of it unscathed?

Lucky for you, I’ve come up with these top 7 tips on how to survive Writer’s Burnout. They are my personal favorites, in no particular order, and while they may not work for all, they are still important to keep in mind.

Without further ado, here are my top 7 tips on surviving Writer’s Burnout:

1. Recognize the Difference Between Writer’s Block and Writer’s Burnout

No, they are not the same thing.

The main problem (and probably the most important one) you need to solve is figuring out which one you have.

Writer’s Block is where you are stuck. You want to write, but can’t. You don’t have a clear idea of what your next steps are. The words and ideas just aren’t coming. You are staring at your computer screen and being greeted with absolutely nothing. No ideas, no threads of dialogue, no plot points to drive the story forward. You look at your outline, at your previous chapters, at the numerous idea-scribbled sticky notes scattered around your office, but just can’t seem to formulate your thoughts into anything remotely coherent, let alone useable. It’s frustrating as heck.

Writer’s Burnout is where you are staring at your computer, and you want to set the dang thing on fire. You can write, but don’t want to. The ideas and words are there, but the drive, the passion, the creativity, isn’t. The thought of writing makes you die a little on the inside. Your creativity sponge is bone-dry. When you try to force yourself to write, your feelings of worthlessness are at an all-time high. You start to believe that you were never meant to be a writer, that all of your hard work was for nothing, and that you should just give up. The very idea of writing begins to stress you out, so you stop trying altogether. You are exhausted, overworked, and any form of motivation to do anything (not just writing) is nonexistent.

It can be easy to confuse one with the other. However, burnout is a much more lethal creature, and it has the added charm of lasting a lot longer than Writer’s Block.    

When facing your computer screen, staring down your WIP, what’s going on in your brain? What are your thoughts? How are you feeling? What is your heart telling you? Are the ideas there but the drive isn’t, or do you just feel stuck?

Understanding what you are going through—be it Writer’s Block, or Writer’s Burnout—is the first step in making it out alive.

2. Don’t Lose Track of the Finish Line

What is your goal? To write a book? A short story? Poetry? To share it with friends and family, or the world? To self-publish, or go down the traditional route?

It is important to not lose sight of the goal. This can be difficult, especially when everything about writing has lost its shine, and you feel like the only way out is dropping the dream altogether.

Why did you start writing? What made you passionate about it? What kept you up at night with ideas swimming in your head that just wouldn’t shut up? What made you want to jump out of your comfort zone and share your creative genius with the world? What made you love your book baby?

You need to tap into that energy, that state of mind. You need to find out what set your soul on fire in the first place, and hold onto those thoughts for dear life.

3. Give Yourself a Break…Or Don’t

Confusing, right? Let me break it down for you.

When it comes to burnout, people have a lot of different things to say about how you should handle it.

Some say you need to take a step back, slow things down, and take the break you clearly need.

Others say you need to continue forward, driving your head against the problems you face in order to break through and come out the other side.

I think there are pros and cons to both.

Taking a break might be beneficial, but it’s easy to fall into a lengthy hiatus with no solid plan to hop back into writing in the foreseeable future. You may gain some of your sanity and mental health back, but if you don’t have a break deadline, you risk losing your drive, dedication, motivation, and discipline to continue. That has definitely happened to me a time or two.

Continuing forward with your writing might help you face your fears and problems, but I also feel like you run the risk of absolutely burning yourself out. It might leave you with feelings of resentment towards your WIP. Writers regularly worry about our work—whether or not it’s garbage, or if it’s good enough, if we are good enough—and forcing yourself to power through a burnout might exacerbate those worries.

There are compromises. You can give yourself a break by setting up a writing schedule. Stop when you are tired. Sleep until you are rested. Write when you can, and put it away when you can’t. Give yourself a break by not thinking about it when you are in your downtime and moments of relaxation (definitely easier said than done), and pushing through when it’s time to work.

Taking a break, pushing forward, or finding a happy medium…it’s a tough choice to make. But it’s one you need to consider. It ultimately boils down to you and what you feel will aide you in your journey through burnout.

4. Strategize

I find that when I’m in the middle of a burnout, the best thing I can do for myself is to strategize.

- When I am ready to write, where am I going to start? Where I left off, or somewhere new?

- Is my outline still ok, or does it need tweaking?

- Is my research up-to-date?

- Does my old writing schedule still work, or do I need to adjust it?

- Am I going to ease in, or go all in at once?

I like to figure out my next steps so that when I am ready to write, I have a plan; having a plan often lessens the overwhelming feelings of helplessness and anxiety I have towards writing. It creates a path, a start and a finish, and guides me to where I need to go.

I organize my planner, and set up a writing schedule. I plan out my writing sprints and give myself allowances when life gets in the way. I keep notebooks handy for the random ideas that flutter my way. I daydream about my characters, my plot, my dialogue, and the scenes I’m excited to write next.  

Strategizing allows me to stay Writer Oriented and focused without the pressure and fear of actually writing. It also helps spark some of the excitement I might’ve lost along the way.

5. Rekindle That Spark

It isn’t uncommon for writers to lose their love of writing during a burnout. When that love fades, it’s easy to lose sight of why we write, why we were passionate in the first place, why we started, and what the finish line looked like.

In the depths of hopelessness, it is up to us to rekindle that spark.

If writing no longer makes you happy, if it no longer makes your heart sing, then you need to find something that does.

Try something new. Pick up a new hobby. Try your hand at painting, or knitting, or baking. Join a sports team, take up yoga and meditating, or break apart that mountain of TBR books at your bedside. Take singing lessons, host dance parties in your living room, try making soaps and bath bombs. Find something that will relight the spark within your soul, and replenish your creativity sponge.

Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty if your newfound joy doesn’t come from writing, and don’t feel bad if it isn’t writing related. You need to do something that makes your heart happy. You may find that as your creativity is revitalized, you’ll find yourself thinking more and more about your WIP. Your excitement to write, your eagerness to create, will slowly come back. It might take some time, but it will.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

Above all else, be kind to yourself.

Swallowed by burnout, it is easy to be cruel, to tell yourself that you are worthless, that your work is terrible, that there is no point in continuing.

I beg you, please please PLEASE don’t let yourself drown in these feelings of self-doubt. They are nothing but white noise and hurtful distractions.

Be kind to yourself. You don’t need to try to come up with excuses, or explain yourself, to others. You don’t need to apologize for your lack of progress, or for your sudden MIA from social media. What you are going through is hard, but it will eventually end. Don’t give up. Don’t lose heart. Don’t get stuck in the toxic cycle of angry thoughts. Remember that it is just a period in your life, a blip on your timeline, and that it’ll get better.

7. Talk to Others

I know you might feel alone in your sea of burnout, like you are the only one experiencing the exhaustion and pain, the only one drifting endlessly with no hope of staying afloat. But trust me, there are plenty of writers out there treading water right alongside you.

Reach out! Share your feelings with others. Take to Twitter, or Instagram, or Tiktok, or Tumblr. Talk to fellow writers about burnout and see how they work through it—some of their tips might help you. And, if anything, talking to someone who empathizes with your situation can be cathartic and validating. To know that they were (or are) going through exactly what you’re going through may offer the sense of hope, that what you are experiencing isn’t a forever thing, that there is an expiration date, that it will get better.

There is something to say about safety in numbers. You never have to feel alone in this.  

And there you have it! Those are my top 7 tips on how to survive Writer’s Burnout.

This is something that we all struggle with, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. You are never alone. We writers need to stick together, support each other through the good and the bad. The important thing to remember is that you WILL get through it. Things may look bad now, but keep your chin up. We can’t have sunny days without a couple rainy ones too. And even then, in the midst of those rainy ones, try to find the rainbow. Alright, that’s enough cheese for one day.

Be sure to tune in every Writerly Wednesday for new writer posts!

Come for the tips.

Stay for the awkward.

Until then,

May your inspiration never cease, and may your ink never smudge.

~Naomi.bee.tee

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: March 2021

Hey March was a weird month what with all the pandemic anniversaries and such but here we are. It’s March. Goodbye March.

……….FILM……….

Attack the Block (2011) After about 20 minutes my partner asked if this was basically a British episode of Goosebumps and....she’s not wrong? I liked it back when it came out but it’s aged really well. Tight script and casual class politics along with the very good space stuff.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) It turns out I’d remembered so little of this movie that it was essentially a fresh viewing. The artistry and ambition still holds up today plus a noir set in L.A. is always good time. But then you add cartoon hijinks and it’s all just that much better.

The New York Times Presents: Framing Britney Spears  (2021) So we watched the ep on Britney Spears and...it didn’t really seem to cover all that much. It kept feeling like it was about to start and then after an hour and a half of that it just sorta wraps with a small legal victory. I know this isn’t fiction so I’m not expecting a happy ending, but I don’t know what it wanted to say.

CBS presents Oprah with Meghan and Harry  (2021) I mean I don’t think anything said or shared was surprising anyone. Though I appreciate Oprah not letting either of them sidestep a question. Either answer or say you won’t; none of this fancy poetry.

……….TELEVISION……….

Great British Bake Off (Episode 9.01 to 9.04) This is our first season without Mary Berry, Sue, and Mel and it’s a real shift! But despite all the new faces, it still feels very much like the good-natured GBBO I’ve come to love. Great stuff.

City of Ghosts (Episode 1.01 to 1.06) I hope all that I’m seeing about this means that Netflix will greenlight another season and more television like this. The artistry is fantastic, the concept allows for both whimsy and poignancy, and it’s casually funny in a way that I can’t fully describe. Great stuff.

WandaVision (Episode 1.09) So this didn’t quite stick the landing for me. I figured there’d be some blasts and magic and zooming around in the sky, but I also assumed we’d get some resolution (maybe even consequences) for what Wanda did to the town. Sure, she’s not the villain and it wasn’t intentional, but the show appeared to be built around this theme of denial and acceptance yet abandoned that in the end. But I will give it this: it really has sold me on the relationship between Wanda and Vision.

The Night Manager (Episode 1.05 to 1.06) You know I think I’ve been so primed by Bond films and action set pieces that, while I won’t spoil the ending, I was pleasantly surprised by how it wrapped up. It was a nice change of pace. 

The Bachelor (Episode 25.09 to 25.12) What a season. It was a mess, sure, but I also think it was the uncomfortable mix of stagnation and progress. The show needs to evolve and I feel like the finale and aftershow really highlighted that the change has to happen. Maybe it’s starting to happen already or in future seasons it’ll change whether production likes it or not.

……….READING……….

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (Complete) Really fantastic read and such an effortless blend of science fiction and...necromantic fantasy! Dark and gross and light and funny all at the same time. 100% recommend and am very excited for the next entry despite this feeling whole and complete on its own.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) I want to work my way through the series (or at least the original 14 written by Baum) so we gotta start at the beginning! There’s such a light air about the book that everyone kinda just rolls with everything. Sentient objects and talking animals and lots of murder are just met with a “Great! on to the next adventure!” and I love it.

The Marvelous Land of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) It’s really great that the second book has a lot of the same core components (human child meets a bunch of wacky sidekicks while on a very small adventure) yet casually expands the mythos and world. It even builds on the plot established by the first book (the main conflict revolving around Scarecrow being overthrown as leader of Oz ever since the Wizard disappeared). Great stuff.

Ozma of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) Bringing back Dorothy and it’s really a merging of characters from book 1 and 2. If anything, this series is shaping up to be about making friends and the genial conflict resolution is really heartwarming. Now i’m keen to watch Return to Oz.

Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) This might just be me but I find a mostly human cast (outside of Jim the Cab Horse) to be far less interesting than the diverse adventuring parties of the first three books. Lots of fun stuff in here and playing fast and loose with the world-building works well; highlight the fun parts of a land made of wood and then continue on to the next location! Great stuff.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 9 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) It feels like everything is starting to come together and wrap up and I’m totally here for a story that knows what it wants to do. And while there doesn’t seem to be as much room cooking with the overarching plot that is driving the story, it never feels like it’s moved away from the heart of the characters and for that I can’t recommend it enough. Excellent world-building, excellent cast, and really great humor.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The IDW Collection Volume 9 by Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Mateus Santolouco, Dave Wachter, Pablo Tunica, Sophie Campbell, and many more! (Complete) The human/secret agent stuff will always be boring to me (even if they’re hunting the turtles) cause that’s not what I want in a comic. I don’t want Batman hunting burglars, I want bright colourful villains for our bright and colorful heroes. Luckily we get into a pocket dimension for a toad god and his relatives during the second half of the volume. Overall, still my favourite ooze series.

……….AUDIO……….

Musicalsplaining (Podcast) Great host dynamics and hot dang I love a good musical.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The group has taken a break from the infected giant colony to sort out some Pirate drama! Further session breakdowns are over here on Reddit!

Dungeons & Designers (Podcast) I had the rare chance to play in a D&D campaign instead of run it and it’s even up online! They also air the sessions through their podcast!

And that’s it! As always, let me know anything you think I should check out and thanks for reading.

Happy Wednesday.

[ahiddenpath]

Life Talk

1.)  I won Nanowrimo

2.)  My house is sold

3.)  I’m tryyyyyyying to taking it easy

More below the cut.

So, I won Nanowrimo.  It’s roughly 30K Four Years and 20K Tri: Integrity Lens.  I feel very... blank about it, though.  In the last few years, I’ve been trying to celebrate when I win Nanowrimo, but...  I don’t have any emotions about it this year, probably even less than usual.

I should probably back up and say that, when I was growing up, I was the type that got all As, won every contest, was the lead in plays and singing events, got the good behavior awards, won state-wide science and poetry contests, was on the select sports teams.  I’m not saying this to brag- I was hyper-involved in school and extracurriculars because it kept me away from home.  

It got to the point at home where, if I won an award, the reaction was, “good.”  If I didn’t, it was, “Why didn’t you win that award?  We don’t have money for tutoring, so you had better figure it out *vague threat* ”  Stuff like that.

Basically, it’s hard for me to feel proud of anything.  If I succeed, that’s “baseline.”  Good, I won’t be scolded.  If I don’t, that’s anxiety- “I will be scolded, I will be punished.”  

I can’t change that concept as an adult- it was cemented into me during my formative years.  But I can see it, and I can tell myself- it’s okay.  Don’t beat yourself up over not feeling a certain way.

The big thing on my mind now, still, is that we sold our first home successfully a few days ago.  It’s the most enormous load off my mind.  This whole time, I’ve been wondering- I keep pinning everything on when the house is sold.  Will it actually be a relief?  Will it actually free up emotional and mental real estate?

SPOILER ALERT: IT DID, I FEEL GREAT!  

I told my therapist that I couldn’t feel “at home” and “settled” until I sold the old house, and she challenged me to not wait for some kind of...  Permission?  Catalyst?  Like, don’t put things off citing “my old home isn’t sold” as a reason, because suddenly, a year will have passed and you still haven’t painted your room or put up photos or turned the house into your home.

I absolutely see her point, but I also see mine.  Frankly, now that I’m not paying for two mortgages, I can afford to do some of that stuff (buy paint and supplies, buy a rug, buy a lamp, etc).  It is true that I could have hung my photos at any time, so that was just a mental/stress block, but I do think that pointing to the money that was tied up in paying the mortgages for both homes, and for repairing things at the old home at the buyer’s demand, was... you know, a valid reason not to be throwing money at our current home.

Right now, my anxiety is free to be directed at the fact that the CDC is forecasting such drastic pandemic leaps.  It’s expected to hit in about 10-ish days after today, 11/29, a Sunday that will likely be the largest single day for travel as people head back home in droves to make it to work on Monday after going away for Thanksgiving.  It’s expected that we’ll be seeing 4,000 covid deaths per day in the states around week 2/3 of December.

I really don’t want to go to work physically, because I know coworkers who travelled.  I wish we could all stay home for two weeks, when the symptoms will show for carriers who are not asymptomatic.  I will definitely be limiting my time in the office to after 3 PM, when a lot of coworkers have gone home.  It’s still a risk that I’m not sure is worthwhile.  

Ah!  I should probably say that my therapist is talking about ending therapy.  I started in... I wanna say March or April of 2019?  Is that right?  So I guess it’s been...  Like, 19-ish months?  I’ve learned so much, but I would say...  The biggest difference is that I can see my behavior patterns for what they are, and then decide what to do with them.  I haven’t “changed” at my core.  I can’t, not in the way people mean when they say “you’ve changed.”  The same learned behaviors, belief systems, and emotions from my childhood are there.  I just recognize them when they pop up and can make informed decisions about how to approach them.  

Which, it turns out, makes a huge difference, even if it isn’t really “change.”  I’m always in danger of being too distraught to see what’s in front of my face, though (thanks, anxiety!).

What else...  My husband and I did cheese fondue and hot pot for Thanksgiving!  It was easily the best holiday I’ve ever had.  Holidays are always... so high pressure, always such events that turn a day off into a giant list of chores that might span weeks to complete beforehand.  Plus, I’m always hoping I’m not about to be dragged into some kind of “trap” conversation by both my family and my husband’s, who have very different political views compared to me.

But on Thanksgiving, my husband and I ate amazing food, spent a lot of time together, and I felt so loved and cared for and valued, because my husband came up with the idea and made it happen, all so we’d have a nice holiday together.  Honestly, I don’t deserve him.  I don’t get it.  He’s so amazing?  I love him so much.

As for my writing, I’ve been feeling...  Bad about it, frankly.  I think it’s partially because it honestly looks like no one is reading Tri: Integrity Lens.  I don’t get it?  It was my most requested story in 2018/2019, and I know people wanted a sequel to Growing Up with You, so why is TIL doing so poorly?  At first, I thought people were going back to read GUWY again first, since I saw a huge surge in hits for it.  Now, I’m not sure?  Like, if I open my stats, some random GUWY chapters will have over 10 times the hits as the newest TIL chapter???  ???? ????  ????  ?????

I’m wondering if it has to do with Tri itself...  I think that, the more time passed, the more people who liked Tri are maybe defensive about how... negative the fandom reaction was, overall.  Meanwhile, people who dislike it, I think, have maybe simply... chucked it out the window, and don’t think about it much.  Whereas, when it was still coming out and directly after it wrapped up, I think people who disliked Tri were more interested in imagining ways they might have personally tweaked it.

That makes things awkward for someone like me, who thinks Tri has amazing moments basically... tacked onto a crumbling base.  

Actually, let me give you my weird metaphor for Tri!

When I am deciding if I’m going to write a new fic, often what happens is...  A few powerful ideas coalesce, a few themes and characterizations.  Some people say they are lead by a few powerful scenes.  I think of these ideas/themes/character ideas (or scenes for other people) as sparkling ornaments on a Christmas tree.

The problem is that...  Ornaments in a box don’t... do much.  You need to display them on a tree, right?  The ornaments need to be connected and supported by a plot (unless you decide to write a focused oneshot, which is my recommendation in most cases).

In short: Tri has amazing ornaments, but the tree is... not... doing that well.  The ideas are there, there are plenty of awesome moments, but something about the actual story/execution just...  Didn’t do it for me.  But dang, those are some nice ornaments!

That was quick and dirty, but hopefully it conveyed the general idea.  

ANYWAY, I’ve been trying to decide if I’m going to continue TIL.  I think right now, I would definitely finish Ketsui, since I have so much material written already.  Why waste it, right?  But I’m not sure what the future of the story will be- not plot wise, but rather, “is my time better spent elsewhere”-wise.

I’m not sure if I need to focus on a new story, if I should take a break, or what.  I need to write for my mental health, but it doesn’t have to be a fanfic.  It can be anything, as long as I explore whatever is eating at me.

And that is where I am!  I hope you’re all staying safe <3

[eri-blogs-life]

Eri’s Itchio Adventures, Week 14

Does a game need to be entertaining to be good?

It’s... a question for the ages. And the game I played this week, Pagan: Autogeny, is one of those games that made me think about this question a lot

So, first... what is Pagan: Autogeny?

Pagan: Autogeny is described on its itchio page and steam page as “an exercise in aesthetic maximalism - In other words, it’s pretty big, at least by normal altGame standsards.” 

And like the loading screen shown above says, this game definitely feels like an exercise in user hostile design. It feels like everything in the game is intentionally made to make you feel like it’s bad. But does that mean that it’s good, because it does such a good job of being bad? 

I mean, yes, because it does a lot to pull you into the game while making it seem like the design is against you.

Okay, but first, Pagan: Autogeny is an adventure/rpg game where you wander around a forgotten mmorpg grinding to increase your stats while trying to figure out what the hell secrets this world is hiding within it. 

It looks a lot like a lot of classic adventure/rpg type games. Apparently it was at least somewhat inspired by some old Morrowind creepypasta, and you can kinda see that in the style of the game. 

The structure of the game as a forgotten MMORPG is definitely one of those aspects that makes it feel user-hostile. As an mmorpg, the world is huge but relatively empty, built to support many players at once in order to make it feel alive, with very few NPCs in the world. And in this case, the few NPCs that are left appear to have degraded into fairly simple polygon shapes, and each has only one line of dialogue. The regular enemies that inhabit some areas have also degraded similarly. The only mobs that appear to still have some sense of visible recognizability are the game’s four bosses, the scarab lord, the skull, the troll shaman, and the floating manly ghost body. And even then the floating manly ghost body definitely feels like something’s missing since it’s just a torso. 

The old mmo structure also means the game has basically no instructions. There is a .pdf manual included in the download, which gives some explanation of how the game’s mechanics work - ghostly monsters can only be damaged by faith weapons, armored enemies can only be damaged by piercing weapons, and a list of the 4 weapons, 4 armors, and 22 tarot cards included in the game and what stats they increase. Except some of the tarot cards have [???] listed as their effect. 

The tarot cards are weird. They are used as equipable items to increase your stats, and also used to unlock certain items throughout the game. 

The game’s stats are also weird. As far as I can tell, the only stats that really matter are Strength, Faith, and Piercing, all of which are gear-based and none of which are shown on your character’s skills screen:

The skills that ARE shown are also pretty weird. Estrogen is increased by finding pill bottles around the world. Body Forging is increased by finding body parts scattered throughout the world and bringing them to the Forgotten Temple. Caffeine is increased by finding coffee pots around the world. Poetry is increased by finding scrolls around the world. And Murder is increased by killing.

The only use for these stats that I saw was that there is a weapon in the first area you need 10 in every stat to unlock. However, I was unable to get that. Why? Because in my 3 playthroughs I only got +8 levels in Body Forging, from building the statue in the Forgotten Temple. I think it might be possible to repeat the first ending I got in order to get enough points to unlock it...

Building the statue in the Forgotten Temple causes the end of the playthrough, at least depending on which ending you’re getting.

My first playthrough I built the statue and got a message saying to Observe the Heavens. When I exited the temple that the statue was in, I saw a black object slowly floating into the sky, occasionally shooting out beams of light to form like a cross like it was a dang evangelion. Along with that, I got an ending screen that told me that the Martyr was still Restrained. 

I’d seen that message elsewhere - there’s a statue in one of the other areas that gives the same message if you interact with it. So, in my second playthrough, I tried interacting with that, to no avail. I was also able to collect all 4 of the arcana needed to gain the World arcana, by killing the game’s four bosses. I was then able to use the World to free the Martyr, and after building the statue I got the the same Observe the Heavens message, the same black object rising into the sky and forming crosses of light, but a different ending screen:

Well, I rebooted. The game, anyway. I still haven’t rebooted my computer or destroyed it yet, though hopefully that doesn’t do anything untoward. But, after getting the Martyr roams free ending, the world is different when you return. Things have fallen even further into disrepair, and where once stood the statue that said “The Martyr is Restrained”, there is now a door. I entered that door and followed through a series of weird, black, glitchy rooms until I found that statue. Upon interacting with it, I got the game’s next ending:

Upon rebooting the game again after that ending, I found that all my items were removed from my inventory, and the world had reset to its original version, giving me a sense that this was the final ending. But it might not be. From what I found online while googling about this, the creator has said that there’s at least one ending I didn’t get, which can only be gotten if you have the Fool tarot. But I couldn’t find the Fool. It’s presumably well-hidden, I suppose. 

I may try to return, to find the Fool or to try repeating the basic game loop enough to unlock that one weapon I found in the starting area. There’s one NPC who remains after the Martyr Roams Free ending (most get destroyed), who continues to say that you should seek hidden paths, so I’m wondering if there’s some additional locale I missed somewhere.

...

The game’s weird. And a lot of its structure and style make it very hard to play. It’s huge, you walk slow, the skills aren’t explained at all, the endings don’t make sense, the game gets very loud at times with very little music in the game, just ambient sounds or very loud white noise. It’s not fun, the combat is simple and just involves walking around an enemy to dodge its attacks while shooting or hitting it with one of the game’s four possible choices of weapons. It’s not fun, it’s not entertaining, it’s not good.

But that’s exactly what makes it good, in such a weird way. Like, talking about it reminds me a lot of that one HBomberguy video about Pathalogic, and how it’s designed in a way where its not that fun to play, but it still provides for an interesting experience and says something about the nature of playing games. 

I don’t know that Pagan: Autogeny says much of anything, though. It’s cool, it’s weird, and the obtuseness makes you want to come back to it and try to figure out what the hell is going on, but I don’t know that everything included in it feels like it’s leading towards anything in particular. It has a lot of religious imagery, for sure, which could make you think there’s something going on there. Autogeny, as a word, refers to organic life being formed out of nonorganic material. So presumably the game’s about the game itself becoming alive after its been abandoned? But I didn’t really feel like that was the case as I was playing. Perhaps the choice of the title Autogeny simply refers to how the game is about you coming in and making some life within the game after its been forgotten and abandoned as an MMORPG? 

I don’t know... 

...

So is it a good game, and would I recommend playing it? 

Hard to say, man. On the one hand, I want to say it’s a great game because it does a good job of, as the storepage and the loading screen say, creating a user-hostile, aesthetic maximalist game. It’s obtuse, it’s annoying to play, and as it seems that was the point of the game.

But on the other hand, it doesn’t feel like all that leads to much of anything beyond more questions about what the hell is going on with it. So, hell, maybe that alone is enough to say it’s good at what it does.

[vindicatedvirgil]

amanda’s sanders sides binge reactions, episodes ten-sixteen

losing my motivation — making some changes

home maintenance is not a joke

infinitesimal

i don’t know, LOGIC

the game is on

all business

no you can’t play with us

i’ve been waiting for this day to wear it

he found a dollar

touching up some eyeshadow

what are these grounds

are they coffee grounds

/dadjoke

bleak

you’re not welcome

elementary my dear daddy

what

HE’S NOT ALWAYS THE BAD GUY

how do the sides borrow money from each other i’m confused

sir sing-a-lot

i am a knight thank you very much

oh no how could you do it i trusted you

what’s going on? something good

feelings. the bane of my existence

weird mushy vision you mean my entire catalog of fanfic writing

well who should have done that *cue intense music*

am i in a paradoxical loop

calm down time

that was dark even for me

yes go to the library

logan’s name reveal

Q+A time

laughy cry-y emoji

pouty mcspecs

i really need to up my roman giving nicknames game

his anxiety is heightened VIRGIL IS TALLEST SIDE CONFIRMED

so does roman have a fairy godmother

bippity boppity boo yah

i’m not okay

i promise

but also i am the walrus

wait that needs to be on my patton playlist brb

virgil likes tumblr hence he likes us

i need four cookies

and i will sit on a surface that is not meant to be sat on

patton doesn’t always screw stuff up

i also like podcasts

CAMPFIRE SONG SONG

virgil’s compliments are great what are you talking about

who is texting logan (my guess is orange)

who is texting roman (my guess is remus)

winnie the pooh~

logan tries singing to all star

and virgil just goes “yeahhhh”

i know big words

DO YOU KNOW HOW CUTE YOU ARE

relevant with yesterday’s skirt photo

fanart!

fanfic!

what is a ship?

virgil definitely knows because he’s on tumblr

thomas has a rat in his hair confirmed (it’s remus)

virgil is the first in this one too

sometimes i just gotta be me-an

hide under the covers until the sun goes away

chemically imbalanced romance

we’re donezo

never fear your creativity is here

thomas’ happiness is roman’s mission

cries

you shackle your creativity

wait

remus says something very similar

hmmmmmmmmm

brainstorming extravaganza

patton why were you not wearing your pants

KNIVES

is this why princey spit yogurt at me yesterday

i’m always serious. clearly. i wear a necktie.

roman wears the pants-

they are a family btw

lol time limits

do those exist in current episodes

FIGHTING

...verbally

OMG OMG IT’S TIME

aggressive bouts of beat poetry

nb royalty aka me

*nods like virgil*

WOO!

capita? like the cogitating cap?

patton would love untitled goat game

you tried you failed let’s go to sleep

booyakasha

logan you can’t just call virgil a defeatist

virgil’s face

and he just sinks out without saying anything

am so soft for the boy

roman name reveal!

hey roman

yes?

you’re my hero

SOBBING ENABLED

MY LIFE IS A LIEE

time for my favorite debate, much better than any political debates

analogical time

this could have been a logan centric video if virgil didn’t pop up

wow

we get it, you don’t want me here, but i’m here

i want you here

virgil please be in the video tomorrow

i too call upon very specific facts to feel secure

how bruised is roman

cardigan-clad clod aka me

same, cream based broths upset my tummy unless i take lactaid

wait logan can’t be objective?

haagen daaz dispersion

bad imaginary

vocab word!

a debate *snap*

i wanna be the supreme dark overlord of negative commerce

RIGGED

please help me *screams in agony*

me me big boy

too much pressure, nooo

do they groan in disgust about the butterflies in his tummy because they feel that way about each other or-

this is better than any political debate

TBD = totally believable dude

when did they vote on logan’s proficiency plan i wanna see this

of course it’s not a straight answer no one in this video is straight-

the first FALSEHOOD

did he just hiss at me

i’m right, you’re wrong, shut up

that’s a try guys reference

savage

this is stupid he’s stupid i’m out

LOGAN DOESN’T MIND VIRGIL’S COMPANY

your mom misses you

visual puns are great

amazing!

uhhhh

uhhh

mmmmmmm

no virgil you’re not alone

same patton, i’m always confused

surly temple is one of my favorite nicknames

NEIGH

MOO

BAAA

word association games return

don’t you dare turn breakfast food into a negative metaphor

was this really a necessary visual

screaming

voltron shirt *hits joan*

me watching sanders sides late into the night

great odin’s eyepatch!

well then it’s just 5am and you need to go to bed

keep it up so we get to see virgil more thanks

i’ve dreamed of this moment

NECKTIE

anatomically, thomas is fine

what is the gosh-darn-ding-dang point

adulto

so mean to patton

darude sanderstorm

i want to bounce in a bouncy castle

i want to join a book club with joan and thomas

verisimilitudinous

*gasp* not the necktie

you are the man. you look like the man. i fight the man. i want to fight you now.

janus also fights the man so-

you stole my look

is no one going to acknowledge that he just dabbed

logan asks for patton’s help when they can’t figure out what’s wrong

danny devito reference

mind palace!

star thingies

poor virgil and his eyes

adequate

EEYORE REFERENCE THANKS FOR NOTICING ME

for reference eeyore has always been my favorite disney character

and virgil is my fave

see any connections there

patton-cake

patton name reveal!

growing older is scary but being a kid was also scary because i didn’t know what was going on with my identity

patton understands virgil so well. cries. maybe the asides will fix their relationship

ECHO

listen buddy don’t blame us just because your mind is so empty

that was definitely roman

i didn’t know you made jokes like that

changing...evolving...mutating

why don’t we talk more?

uh oh, feelings

more sentimental than on avalanche

it is flippin sweet man

with you i’m always home-

additional affirmation

whaddup anxiety

if virgil is upset when thomas isn’t near his friends then isolation really has to be messing with him

joan!logan is amazing

terrence!patton though

he/him pronouns all around~

another danny devito reference

okay but talyn!virgil is the best

hissing

breaking the fourth wall? 

single column?

aw patton loves thomas

hehe butt

“we are not actually your friends”

...what

VIKINGMETAL

BIBLIOTECA

i love libraries

I AM FRAIL AND BREAKABLE

a man of many talyn’s

also i didn’t make as many comments on this one because it’s 11pm and i’m starting to get a bit sleepy

[wellntruly]

A Series of Unfortunate Events - S2: The Vile Village

I had a long Friday for both stressful and fun reasons so yes as you’ll be gathering I am just lounging watching most of ASOUE S2 tonight, *cheers*

This one’s very visibly set on a sound stage and then by the end everyone’s talking about the tradition of playmaking devices: good work team.

The Vile Village: Part 1

“Before long they’ll find themselves bewildered and bedeviled in the town’s attractive if drafty town hall, desperate and despondent near this prominent but off-putting landmark known as Fowl Fountain.”

Shirley Jackson reference!! gold

the Jewish current through this series is deeply welcome & charming and also more prominent here than the books, which should really just be encouragement to art-makers that the more Jewish the better

WOOWW their town flag is…allusive

and Esme posing as a fascist Italian police officer, damn go in

oh my god---its Cactoid Jim

wow, he flung himself right off that bar..

Hector, sunshine 🧡

lol omg secret retina scan after he undoes the old timey padlock

that is the White Tree of Gondor on that bowsprit

really into Jacques having a long history of trying to offer Olaf tea

Hooks is playing jazz bongos he’s so into it I’m so into it

Nathan Fillion’s whispering voice is very reassuring, how pleasant

she needed the biggest wrench to hit it with, wonderful, truly Violet is a mechanical engineer

nice

they have super scaled up the overarching mythology reveals in the TV show version! kinda tracks they’d do it here since the Vile Village volume was a wee bit draggy, if I recall

noooo :(

The Vile Village: Part 2

they really figured out how to make this more painful, and it’s with bad scatting

Esme’s smile grimace as she watches him flounder through these rhymes is A+

��We can do this the quiet way, or it can get very noisy” is suuuuuch a scary threat!

GOD everything Jacqueline wears is #retro goals

the new running gag of newspaper boys on bicycles appearing in unlikely places to toss you the latest is so fun

Evelyn Waugh reference!

she wore white after Yom Kippur, MAN it is a treat being in a world where the calendar is based around Jewish holidays!

aww, son! my sweet sad boy

the Poes were each the only ones in their class not bar or bat mitzvah’ed DANG this really takes place in an American(ish) world framed by Judaism instead of Christianity doesn’t it!

“I am going to blow my top and I am going to blow my cover!”

“I think I’ll interview the townspeople for some mob mentality angle.”

this is starting to get pretty Pushing Daisies. obviously I’m down.

I love a story where part of the plot relies on what a character knows of another character’s poetry style

commonplace books!

Hooks’ fond frenemy relationship with Sunny is the best

my heart is filling with love, Violet standing strong bluffing with a fire hose while Klaus threateningly rattles off statistics about fire trucks --- my kids

so many deus ex machinas! repetition is a common teaching tool and I love the gentle didactics of this thing I really do

repeated rhymes give me goosebumps

oh man the weird torture horror book’s next isn’t it haha oh boy

***

The Austere Academy | The Ersatz Elevator // Season 1

[pilferingapples]

so... Le Roi s’amuse... what exactly is that and how can I join you in this reading

Le Roi s’amuse was a play Hugo had staged in 1832; it concerns a petty,evil, hedonistic King, his petty, evil jester Triboulet who acts as the king’s procurer of amusement and also of women to abuse ( and who happens to be an Evil Dwarf, because Hugo had some dang issues with that), the petty, evil court they both live in and orchestrate, and Triboulet’s innocent, pure, and loyal daughter, who he cherishes and tries to protect from the rest of the court. 

…It’s a Romantic play, you can probably already guess the broad outlines of disaster that are gonna unfold here, plot-wise. 

Besides being the basis for the opera Rigoletto , Le Roi is mostly notable for three things:

1-  Opening Night was a total disaster.  Actors forgot their lines, botched their entrances and exits, props failed, the orchestra was struggling– it was almost bafflingly terrible, even leading some to suspect intentional sabotage by the company. (FTR, I don’t think it was, but it WAS really really bad.) 

2- It only ran that first disastrous night before being shut down by the government, which suspect Francis I in the play of being a mockery of ol’Louis-Philippe. Hugo maintained it was not, and I believe him, because come on, he would have been WAY less subtle about it if he wanted to drag the current king– there would have been a lot of pear jokes or something– but it’s not really relevant; the point is , it was shut down. 

3- and that’s the important point because it meant Victor Hugo countersued the government , arguing that it was violating the free speech guarantees in the Charter of 1830. Hugo did not win; as he pointed out himself at the time, there were members of government who had it out for him and for romanticism specifically, so it was never likely that he would. But he did  get his arguments in defense of free speech widely published and circulated.  And that was sort of the event that got Hugo in the public eye not just as a writer and entertainer but as a specifically political figure. (And yes of course there were people at the time saying he should just shut up about his politics and stick to poetry. Some things are eternal.) 

Dumas basically reprints Hugo’s big speeches about it and a lot of the criticism directed against Le Roi s’amuse in his memoirs– here!  (In French, sorry.) 

As for what I’ve been reading, that’s Jehan Valter’s La première de Le roi s'amuse, which you can find here!  It’s a very long and nigh-painfully detailed account of that disastrous first night.  (also only in French , sorry sorry D:) 

[comprosedreviews-blog]

A Court of Wings and Ruin (finally) with Monica

Rating: 4/5 (goodreads) 

With a great (new) laptop, comes great responsibility. 

And no one knows that better than me. At least after the seven hour, where-did-all-my-files-go-and-why-didn’t-they-transfer-correctly debacle. 

SO while I had an almost full review finished for this book, it has gone MIA. Go. Figure. 

But that’s Karma’s way of getting back at me for not publishing this a few months ago, you know, when I actually finished reading the book. 

But y’all didn’t come here to listen to me complain, you came for a book review, so without further RAWRS and GRRs, here’s the review:

You should read the book.

Yes I know, you’re probably sitting there glued to your screens, mouth agape because somehow, after loving the first two books of this beloved series I also managed to love and recommend the third. GOOD GRACIOUS MONICA!!! YOU’RE CRAZY!!!

In all seriousness, the book did fall a little bit behind the first and second in the list of favorites for me, but still managed to keep me coming back for more page turns and laughter and fear. 

Before writing any further, I want to warn those of you who stumbled upon this review thinking that ACOWAR was the first in a series from reading the rest of this post. You see, young ones, if you continue to read you will be spoiled for the first two books... because well, this is the third and final in its little trilogy. 

So turn away, avert your eyes, and direct your feet to the nearest Barnes & Nobles (or wherever you satisfy your book reading needs) and purchase A Court of Thorns and Roses. You won’t be sorry. 

THE BRIEF NON-SPOILERY: I can confirm that there are areas of overwriting in this finale. In fact, much of the beginning dragged on or felt unnecessary, to the point where 100 pages or so in, I finally felt like we began the story. The beginning is important for foundational stuff about new characters, old characters and new threat lines, however. It probably could have just been done with far fewer words and scenes. 

I also think that there are several areas that just lagged. I could easily put the book down in those moments and do something else... which for me isn’t a great reading experience. And before you wave your fists and say BUT MONICA, books can’t be all power and action and romance all the time, know that I understand that. I mean, I read a lot and love books a lot, but this was an excessive amount of hmmmmmmm don’t need to be reading this right now. I want to be fully pulled in, I want something to make me think I CAN PUSH THROUGH THIS SECTION TO FIND X OUT... but there were whole chapters where I was like... whelp. Nothing interesting happened. 

THAT BEING SAID, other moments in the book were done spectacularly and kept me immersed in the world even when I had to put the book down. I was like... No. Nope. Okay Mr. Reporting-Professor, you can talk all you want about the inverted pyramid, but understand that all I’m hearing is fanfic poetry about the love between Rhysand and Feyre. 

You get all the characters you love back and all the resolutions you could ask for, which is why lovers of the series must finish it. Don’t let yourself feel the unresolved feeling of ending on ACOMAF (because we all know that ending left us SHOOK). 

That’s all I can offer for you folks out there who haven’t finished ACOWAR. I hope these words of wisdom have helped you settle on the right decision of reading the book for yourself. If it didn’t, well, sorry. I’m a mere hufflepuff.

 WARNING!! SPOILERS!!! AHEAD!!!

You know, I really enjoyed this book, I swear I did, but as I’m thinking back on it, the things I remember best are the things that annoyed me. Like the father’s convenient return right as the battle was being lost, the constant magic draining, the convenient return of Rhysands angel looking friends, and all the character death bluffs. So for the interest of ending this review on a positive note (because, wtf my brain, we love this book??) I’m going to talk about these things and then swing into the good. 

1. WHATS WITH ALL THE CONVENIENCE? 

Did we just get written into too tough of a plot to get out of? No, I don’t think we did. Why? Because Sarah J. Mass is brilliant. I’m sorry, but did you see all the foreshadowing with the mirror? Or the awesome trials in the first book? Or the link between the stars of Feyre’s drawer and Rhysand??? This girl can write the tough writes. 

But this ending was riddled with oddly convenient and seemingly unnecessary helps. The island with the Seraphine and the wards that worked a little too well... like why didn’t Rhysand and friends check super hard? Why didn’t they shout a bunch. WHY DIDNT THEY REALIZE, oh yeah, we protect our sacred city with a bunch of wards too... Why didn’t the angel beings think to look outside of their wards ever? And how come they were able to get notice of the battle at all? Like... HMM, yeah we couldn’t really reach you BUTTTTTTTTT now we’re here because we found out about it?? No. I need a better explanation. 

And maybe there is one to come. Maybe the second series will shine some light on the topic, but if that’s the case then writing that entrance for these guys was a super risky move because--I’m just going to say it--it came across as a Deux ex machina (which are endings I frankly hate). 

GAHHHH and the whole book we were like

Reader: Oh no!!!!! Azriel is going to die! His wings are shredding, he went on a kill mission, he’s the misplaced love angle...I knew he shouldn’t have gone with them! I knew it!!! I knew it!! This is Sarah offing him isn’t it--

Feyre: actually we got him back in time so it’s all peas and--

Reader: OMG YOU ONLY GOT HIM TO SURVIVE BECAUSE TAMLIN IS DEAD NOW AND HE HAS SACRIFICED HIMSELF JUST AS HE REDEEMED WHATEVER TERRIBLE DARKNESS HE WAS BATHED IN AS A SMA--

Tamlin: Actually, no. No. I come back in the end. They kept me alive. I’m good. 

Reader: HOLY MUFFIN GUACAMOLE YOU DISTRACTED ME SO THAT I WOULDN’T SEE CASSI--oh actually cass is fine wow. Good job Ness--OMG NESSA AND CASSIAN ARE GOING TO DIE AHHHHH

Elain: NOT. In. My. House!

Reader: Oh dang. Nice slashy slash. Wait so everyone-- OMG ARMEN NOOOOOOOO

Ocean: psht. She’s fine. I’ll spit her out as a high fey, no worries

Reader: Oh. Oh. Okay, wow. That’s um, good then? 

Cauldron: *Gargles*

Reader: *Sobbing hysterically* RHYSAND!!!!!!!!! Actually, he’ll be fine too probably... yep. Okay. 

It got to the point where I was like, well there’s no real need to worry because any character I actually give an emotional teardrop about is protected by all the force of the pen forever. So. Yeah. 

I mean, I’m not complaining that all my characters made it out unscathed, just that they made it out and each and every one of them had their life thissssssss close to being torn away... and somehow I’m still expected to buy Rhysand’s near death at the end as our final hurdle to overcome. Which. I didn’t.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THE BAD, let’s talk about the good. 

The very beginning had me so upset. But in a good way. When it wasn’t going on too long we got to see a darker side of Feyre, the side that decided to kill a fairy for revenge, the side that isn’t afraid to ruin lives if it means saving the people she cares about. 

AND I HAVE TO SAY I HATED IT AND LOVED THAT I HATED IT. 

Like, I do not like Tamlin. I will never like Tamlin, there is no redeeming Tamlin. But, still, as Feyre began to turn his armies against him and used Lucien (who I do like!) to tear a rift in the spring court I felt the feels. Like... no. This isn’t how we do things. 

But. It. Is. 

Feyre don’t mess around. 

When the bond between Rhysand and Feyre started to go quiet I was SOOOOO worried that Tamlin had secretly discovered a way to shut it down and was working with Ianthe that I just... I was like STOP WORRYING ABOUT DESTROYING SPRING AND START FOCUSSING ON THIS CLEARLY WRONG THING!!!!! But it wasn’t that. 

No. No, it was her magic, being drained from her. 

And for someone with SO MUCH MAGIC in the book before, I was so taken aback by how many times her powers were literally drained from her. 

Was anyone else impatiently waiting for more Feysand? Because I was. I wanted it sooooo badly. Maybe that’s the real reason everything dragged. Maybe I just needed them to be together again, especially because she was now lady of the night court and I wanted to see some night court shenanigans with the gang. 

Good times. That would have been good times. 

But I had to wait. And when we did get there

STUFF//WAS//FALLING//APART

I’m sorry, what do you mean Elain is miserable???? And mad???

I’m sorry, what do you mean Lucien is coming with??? (because I might like him but yeesh, I was annoyed with his “how could you betray me” thing). 

I’m sorry, what do you mean IN GENERAL????

Can’t we just like... Idk, ignore our wounds from the other book? CASS got to! His wings grew back//were healed. We should all be like Cass!

For real though, when everyone was talking about how Elain had gone crazy I was sitting here thinking... *raises hands* um maybe she’s like... seeing the future? Did we think about that guys?? But nooooooo. Everyone was all pity filled and I was all :(((((((((((

My greatest regret is we never got the resolution of Cass and Nessa. I want them together and I want it yesterday!

I felt like we were there. We were so close. They almost died together and Cass and Nessa BASICALLY SAID THEY LOVED EACH OTHER and then...

poof. Same old same old rawr. 

And then are Elain and Azriel going to be a thing??? I don’t know if I want that or don’t want that???? Are Lucien and bird princess going to be a thing???? Who is a thing, who isn’t a thing, why???????

Like, last book I was here for Lucien and Elain. I mean I figured they’d have to like, get to know each other, fall in love, etc. but I’m a sucker for a falling in love story// enemies to lovers sub-arch. 

Nope. Nope. Nope. 

Now I can’t even bring myself to root for that. They are just wrong for each other. And I don’t like it. I don’t like that our thing that set up our two main characters can be so imperfect. Rawr, I just want resolution!!!!!!

And did everyone catch that Lucien isn’t related to the monster that was previously believed to be his father??? WHO’S GOING TO EXPLAIN TO DADDY HELION THAT HE IS A FATHER???? WHY DIDN’T THAT HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK???

I’m sorry but all signs for me point to the next series following Elain, Lucien, and Bird princess lady// whatever horrible deal she made to be able to come and fight. I’m not against that. I do want to know more about why the cauldron gave Elain so much power, and how her ex-fiance is feeling now, and how her prophesies/// Azriel thing/// Lucien thing is going to pan out !!!BUT!!!! But here I am wanting to know what happened to giant nightmare cloud, wanting to see baby Feysand, wanting to have Mor find love, wanting to know more about Nessa’s link with the cauldron...

ARE WE SURROUNDED BY I NEED TO KNOWS RIGHT NOW OR WHAT???

*sigh* when is Sarah going to release the next series beginner? I need it. Otherwise, I might combust. And I need these answers. Not in this order but... like in the next book please?? Please???? PLEASE????

So this review turned more into a mindless ramble of happenings and wants than anything else. If you feel I left things out (which I most certainly did thanks to writing this months and months after reading smh) please comment below! I’d love to hear what Y’all think// what y’all want from the next book. 

And gosh if you read this far, you’re a saint. 

Until next post,

Monica

[riyuyami]

I’m calling the novelist/artist AU In Plain Sight, cause it’s basically how it is throughout this story.

Anyway, here’s a one-shot of the day Atemu moves in next door.

--

“Were you waiting long?”

Heba turned from tending to the ibises that flocked the private gardens, smiling as he looked at the man who had approached him. Atem was dressed down, in the simple dressings of a man about to rest for the evening, though he still wore much of his gold. It looked nice on him, in the lights of the fires that burned in the oil lamps around the gardens.

“I just arrived here not too long ago, are you finally free of your duties for this day, my king?” Heba smiled as he stood up, approaching the living god.

“I am, now I am free to spend the rest of the waking hours with y-”

The sharp, loud ringing of Yugi’s cell phone cut off his current sentence, making the man sigh loudly in annoyance as he dug into his pocket for the phone. He knew who was calling even without looking at the photo of the happy brunette girl on the screen. “Hello Anzu, what’s up?” He asked as he saved his file, quick to look at a different window on his computer screen.

There wasn’t much to do at work here at Kaiba Corp today, so Yugi had decided to work on a bit of his... well... his side fanfiction for his own work. Luckily, no one has figured out that on ao3, he writes erotic Atem/Heba fanfics for his own novel series, Millennium World.

And just as he was working on the latest one-shot, Anzu decided to call, breaking him out of his writing mood.

“Hey Yugi!” She happily replied. “Guess what, we’re getting a new neighbor!”

“A new neighbor?” Yugi raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Bakura’s finally moving out? Good, I’m tired of him stealing my socks from the laundry room.”

“If you actually just sat there and waited for the laundry to finish, you wouldn’t have to buy new ones each month. Anyway, no, he’s still here, but he’s getting a roommate.”

“Is it Marik? Did they finally get hitched?”

“No.” Anzu spoke. “This is a new guy, and... he’s kinda cute.”

Yugi groaned, leaning back in his chair. “Anzu... come on, I don’t need you trying to pair me up with some guy, just cause he’s long, tan, and handsome!”

“Well, you’re right on the last two, but this guy is... kinda on the short side. But he’s adorable, and looks like he works out. He’s in a skin tight shirt...”

“Are you trying to find me a boyfriend, or are you trying to tell me how much you want the guy yourself?” Yugi joked, smiling at the laugh he got from his best friend.

“Maybe both, but he’s pretty dang cute. Want me to describe him?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Okay, as I said, he’s short, but he’s built nice. Looks like he’s in leather pants that... ooooh, that’s a nice butt. Not as nice as yours, but still. His hair is... kinda like yours, oddly enough.”

Yugi raised an eyebrow. “How?”

“Well, it’s black and spiky as all hell, but instead of purple, its tipped in red. I think it’s natural, same with the golden bangs, oooh, he’s got high lights too. And he’s got big dorky glasses on, you know the king that Ryou wears when he’s painting those figures for his games? Those kind. Still, they make him look-OH! He’s looking at me...!”

“Where are you?”

“In the hallway, I’m checking on Ms. Norton’s cat for her while she’s away, remember? Well, I step out and see him, and now he’s looking at-Hello! Sorry, I’m talking on the phone!”

Yugi blushed deeply, feeling so embarrassed for Anzu right now. He kept the phone to his ear though, hearing a rather deep, rich voice speak up.

“Oh, it’s alright, I figured I should introduce myself. But I can wait until you’re done.”

Oooh, he sounds so formal and polite. Is that an accent? Yugi could hear an accent... oh shit, he really liked those, and living in New York was like a smorgasbord of them...

“Oh, it’s fine!” Anzu spoke up. “I’m just talking to my roommate, hey, maybe when you’re done moving in, we can introduce ourselves, I’m sure he’d love to meet you!”

“Ah? Sounds delightful, miss!” Deep Voice said, sounding pleased as peaches. “I shall be looking forward to it!”

Suddenly, Yugi heard the unmistakable voice of his strange neighbor, Bakura, shouting from a distance. “Get your ass back over here! I’m not building your bed set!”

There was a sigh from Deep Voice. “I will see you this evening, you and your friend then. So long.”

It was quiet before Anzu spoke again. “Yugi, if you don’t want him, can I have him?”

--

When Yugi arrived home from work, it was a bit past five in the evening and he had stopped to pick up something from a local bakery. It was a nice little shop, one that Anzu and Yugi frequented, run by a quiet girl with pale hair and blue eyes who adored Yugi. She liked to show him magic tricks when he came to visit.

He had bought a sample plate of pastries and cookies from the bakery, his mother had always taught him to be polite and bring a gift as a house warming treat for new neighbors.

He stood outside of Bakura’s door with Anzu, his face feeling warm. “I kinda wish you had sent me a picture so I know who I’m gonna be dealing with tonight...” He mumbled to her.

“I sent you a picture.”

“His ass is lovely, but not what I wanted to see.”

Anzu rolled her eyes and knocked on the door. “Take what you can get, Yugi.”

Yugi twitched when he heard the muffled voice of the man from the call earlier, before the door opened. Standing there was... well... Yugi had always wondered what his pharaoh character would look like in real life, and no amount of fan cosplay could compare to the sight of this man before him.

The man looked just like the spitting image of Pharaoh Atem, from Yugi’s own novels, albeit covered in what looked to be bits of paint on his cheeks, hands, and skin-tight olive shirt. He was wearing huge glasses, that took up much of his face, but they didn’t hide the smoldering crimson eyes that sat behind them. Yugi suddenly felt the urge to write poetry about this man, to write about him in great detail on his blog or in his stories like the cheesy romance writer that he is.

The man blinked, before his cheeks turned a dark shade of a red, and he smiled brightly. “Ah! You are my new neighbors! Lovely to see you again, miss, and who is this beautiful man?”

Yugi almost dropped the plate in his hands. “B-Beautiful...?!” He squeaked, getting a laugh from the man.

“Sorry, it’s just... you are a rather lovely looking man, and your friend is beautiful as well. Heh, sorry, I’m... an artist of sorts, can’t really turn off the attention to detail and such. I’m Atemu Hakem! And you are?”

“I’m Anzu Mazaki, and my friend here, that you seem to have broken, is Yugi Mutou. We’re your neighbors!”

“Hehe, I can tell. Lucky you came now, Bakura stepped out to grab Chinese, we’re in the middle of setting up my room, but he wanted food. Oh, what’s that?” Atemu asked, looking at the plate in Yugi’s hands.

“A-a gift...! For, uh, you..!” Yugi sputtered out, holding out the plate, mentally kicking his own ass for sounding like such a fool.

Atemu blinked, but smiled as he took it. “Oh, thank you, this is so nice of- Is that Heba’s necklace?!”

This caught Yugi and Anzu off-guard as Atemu reached out, touching the golden triangular necklace that hung from Yugi’s neck. It was a gift Yugi got years ago as a child and he always wore it, it was a protection charm from Egypt (though Yugi thinks that Grandpa didn’t really buy it like he said, and that he got it during his tomb raiding days...). And yes, in Yugi’s novels, he has the character Heba wear this exact necklace, the first gift given to him by his lover.

“Are you... are you a fan of Millennium World?” Atemu asked, his eyes wide and practically sparkling.

Yugi’s cheeks turned pink and he nodded, not sure what to really say.

“That’s amazing! I’ve never met another man who enjoyed the series! Say, you kinda look like Heba, with that hair, wish he had the purple tips like you, haha! I think I’m gonna like being your neighbor, Yugi!”

Yugi just smiled, nodding, he wondered if the floor could just swallow him up right now.

[justsoyoudonthaveto]

Would you believe that a) it’s Halloween and I’m writing about a Christmas movie; b) we’re just 2 months away from this entire shitty year and c) this is my 100th blog post?!?!?  I can’t believe it and I’m living that right now! 

I’m sure you’ve all noticed that I’ve taken a huge break from doing these this year. And with this year, I’m sure you all understand. For a long time I didn’t want to watch sunny shows where the hero just wants to be happy and explore his need to be a mime in Paris while simultaneously running away from his family’s law practice, where the heroine just needs him to buckle down and be serious. Running away from a well-paying job? Are you freaking insane? And love might be all you need, but it sure is helpful if you don’t have to worry about medical bills. This year has been exhausting, and I just couldn’t. As much as these movies are comfort food, I needed something different, which explains why I watched Great British Baking Show twice, learned how to make a killer lemon drizzle and amazing bread, and stress-read Twitter about the state of the country. All of which means that this weekend, which saw me take time off to self-care and watch BBC’s North and South for the first time and immediately plan for a re-watch, has me back to Christmas Movies, with this gem of a movie that should have everything. So let’s get going for One Royal Holiday.

I will start by saying I love Laura Osnes. I voted for her when she was on the Grease reality show, and saw her in Bandstand 3 times. I am less of a fan of Aaron Tveit, more so because of the horrendous man perm he had to sport during Les Miserables. However, it’s not nearly as bad as the man bun I just saw on the latest concert version of my favorite musical, so I guess I should move on from the perms. Except how the hell did those perms mean an Academy Award for best hair and makeup? WTF? Anyway.

Aaron plays His Royal Highness Prince James of Galwick. Is that near Lichtenstein, or Cornwall, like that one where the heroine was from New Jersey? His mom is played by the amazing Victoria Clark and she better sing, damn it. And in the very first scene, where Queen Gabriella and Prince James are in some kind of hospital benefit thanking them for the care they gave their late husband and father, Queen Gabriella is wearing a tiara. I’m sure we’ve learned something from the countless viewings of Downton Abbey (as well as anything the Queen does) and one does not wear a tiara to a benefit during the freaking day. British accents are on point though. Good for them.

Laura Osnes is a nurse named Anna, who is heading home for Christmas, and her home is some tiny New England town where her dad owns an inn. Looks like her mom is dead. Present wrapping montage, and we’re not even 10 minutes in. And Anna is off home where there’s a wicked nor’easter heading her way (she’s in Boston).

James has to make a Christmas Eve speech, which apparently the entire monarchy of Galwick is depending on. But not before he and his mom stop at Donny’s Donuts for tea. Anna’s there for coffee and is freaking out over a “Christmas Cruller” which is basically an eclair. But horrors, the storm has grounded the royal plane, and the hotel in Boston is full up, and James and Anna have had a meet cute over the eclair, and we’ve found out that Galwick is in Northern Europe. Anna is offering her dad’s inn, and now her own car when the royal car driver says he’s not going to drive to Connecticut. Queen Gabriella is already in love with Anna, and her free eclairs, and they are all carpooling to Connecticut on roads that are remarkably traffic free. Oh, and BTW, James has not told her he’s a prince, and she’s just said her town has a Christmas Eve Pajama Ball and Oh My GOD I think I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of Christmas Movie Cliches and I love every minute. BTW, James is a huge pill.

Royal retainer has just let the cat out of the bag to Anna’s dad and now Anna knows that they’re royalty. But because James is such a cool guy, he’s going to carry up their bags up the stairs but because he’s also royal, he doesn’t know that suitcases have handles. Anna’s BFF from high school is now the Sassy Mayor. And James has just asked for the “pillow menu” where the guests get to choose which kind of pillow to sleep on. Sassy Mayor is all about getting the royals on social media for the town, but then she gets an eyeful of Christopher, the royal retainer, and Sassy Mayor is all heart-eye emojis. And here is the first commercial break.

What is this vest and why is it weird?

Sing-a-long at the Inn, and the carolers are dressed like Dickens characters – because carolers are only allowed to dressed like Dickens characters. Gabriella and Anna are bonding over the buffet, while James is on the phone with the Prime Minister of Galwick who is clearly not a monarchist. But Gabriella loves the food at the Inn, and methinks Queenie is going to play matchmaker between Innkeeper Dad and the Cook. James missed dinner and is eating his feelings through a 5 lb container of popcorn, but Anna is nice and brings him a plate of lobster mac and cheese.

As expected, there’s been a huge snowstorm, which is not in evidence with the b-roll of shots of the house. They are snowbound and Anna wants to know what royalty does all day. James says it’s not like a Jane Austen novel where they drink tea and read poetry. No, not at all. Sometimes they have elaborate picnics. And that is a line from this beautiful movie. Another b-roll shot of the Inn, which shows the road completely plowed. But the airport is still closed, so now they can attend the Kentsbury Christmas Parade. James can’t measure up to his dead father with his make-or-break Christmas Eve Speech. FYI, James started dragging the sled of donated toys, and next shot, Anna is dragging it. So much for the chivalry of princes.

FYI – in 2 days, we won’t see any political ads on TV for almost 12 months. Huzzah!

Everyone in the little town seems to think that Anna is dating James because they are walking down the street together. James stepped in a slush puddle and now they both have to take a carriage ride back to the inn. Just go with it. Heart to heart about James’ speech worries. Anna says he should be himself. Oh, how great that advice is.

Husband just asked how great this movie is. I said the words Christmas Eve Pajama Ball. He is seriously thrilled.

The room where the Ball is going to be held had a roof malfunction, and now where are they going to have it? James suggests the Inn, so of course they’re going to do it – and before we can say Hot Chocolate – they are going to decorate the Inn’s family tree! Singing! Tree Trimming! Lights! Husband just is annoyed that all the lights in the big tangle of string lights work, because that is not reality.

DANG IT – they are going to split the ball into Pajama for Kids and Formal Ball for Adults. This is not what I signed up for.

Anna and James meet in the kitchen in their plaid jammies, and Anna name checked Captain Von Trapp, so cool, except for the fact that Christopher Plummer NEVER showed up in a bathrobe. Anna has also introduced James to the magic of a Lazyboy recliner couch. And James is now giving Anna advice about how great a formal ball would be and it’s not a slap in the face of the memory of Anna’s dead mom. Anna is also wearing way too much makeup for late night cocoa rendezvous.

Plot question – why is James a Prince, and not King? Shouldn’t he have been coronated by now?

Anna brought James up to the attic to look for ball decorations, and he seems to have a flair for decorating. They head in to town for more garland, and James borrowed skinny jeans and boots from Christopher, and that’s not weird at all. And Anna has major good ideas for James’ speech, so good for her. Shopping Montage! Decorating Montage! So Many Lights! So Many Trees! Romantic moments by a ladder! Dancing! They are going to Dance to The Christmas Waltz. WHAT IS THIS SONG? Dance Lessons Await! (FYI, I do this with younger son in our kitchen, and it is a delight of my life). Oh, man, dad just messed up that romantic dance.

Dad is Fairy Godfather here and found dresses for Anna to wear that were her mom’s. But first, Gingerbread House Building! James is good at it and he made a castle. And Gabriella just made them a Galwickian Yule Cake (which is an eclair). Christmas Eve is in 3 days, and now there’s black ice on the roads and it’s just too dangerous to go to the airport.

Sassy Friend tells her that she can work it out with Christopher, so Anna can work it out with James, but Anna is being realistic because he’s a prince and she’s a nurse, and if he’s half as eligible as Prince Harry, then she is in the right, and Sassy Mayor is living in La La Land. But whatever, Anna deserves to find Love.

Town Candlelight Sing A Long. Lots of longing looks over the candles, but Anna can’t express her love for James because they have to sing Joy to the World (without the religious 3rd verse). But they are now back in the ballroom for Anna to tell him how she feels, but she is blocked by his phone and the fact that it’s the palace, telling him that he was photographed with Anna in the town square and it’s an international scandal of Christmas Carol proportions. And because Anna is selfless, she says thanks to James and tells him he should care for his people and go be a prince. And because he’s emotionally repressed, he says ok and he heads out.

Sassy Mayor gets to go to Galwick for New Year’s because Christopher is NOT emotionally repressed. Gabriella left a gown for the cook to wear to the ball, and James has arrived home to the literally smallest castle ever. It’s smaller than Disneyland.

SAD TIMES! James and Anna both. 14 minutes left. Anna doesn’t know what to wear, but Dianne the cook looks great in the Queen’s dress. And James has figured out that Anna helped out his dad at the hospital when he was ill. Oh my goodness all the coincidences! Anna’s dress has pockets, y’all. James’ Christmas speech is on the internet, and his military uniform clearly doesn’t fit. And HUZZAH James shows up at the ball and his tuxedo suit does fit. And more about James’ dad, yada yada yada. And they kiss and head into the ballroom where they get to finish their Christmas Waltz. All Laura Osnes’ Cinderella dance experience is clearly paying off here. But we’re not done yet – everyone is in their pajamas at the fireplace for the final scene – and again Cinderella vibes, because James brought her Christmas Royal Bedroom Slippers. But he didn’t bring enough for everyone! The End.

This movie had everything and it was delightful, even if Victoria Clark didn’t sing. Sorry for the blurry pictures – WordPress changed their way of doing things while I was baking and I am still trying to figure it out. Glad to get back into this even if we’re still technically in Halloween territory. Aren’t you glad I watched, just so you don’t have to?

#100 – One Royal Holiday Would you believe that a) it's Halloween and I'm writing about a Christmas movie; b) we're just 2 months away from this entire shitty year and c) this is my 100th blog post?!?!? 

[writerofblocks]

It’s a Process

[Note: This is an original work I submitted as part of a creative writing class. it’s kind of long, so I put it under a cut. I hope you enjoy.]

Two thousand words. How is anyone supposed to write a story that long? I mean, I know it’s technically possible; this definitely isn’t the first time this teacher has given out this assignment to a class, and it certainly won’t be the last. Page count wise, that’s like… ten, isn’t? That’s not much. Or at least it shouldn’t seem like as much as it does. The last story I wrote was 500 words- if you can even call something of that length a story- and it still felt like a stretch at the time.

At least it’s only a first draft. First drafts are allowed to be flaming garbage piles. And given that it’s due tonight and I only remembered its existence about thirty minutes ago, it’s a safe bet that this draft’s more likely to be a flaming garbage pile than not. Resisting the temptation to throw it all out and make it perfect is going to be a challenge. It’d feel better to wipe the slate clean than try to fix something that’s broken and worthless.

Wait. Stop. Thinking like that isn’t going to help.

What am I supposed to write about, anyway? The teacher said we could write about anything (within reason), but where am I supposed to go with that? Not sci-fi, I know that much. The amount of words I’d need for world-building would take up all the space given. I could write an elaborate fanfiction and disguise it by changing the names, but that just seems tacky. Besides, I already did it once this semester. Never again.

…Too hungry to think further. I need food.

The cafeteria’s a bearable enough place. At least there are a few staples I can get by on if the daily rotation of meals doesn’t work out in my favor. Though pizza every day has gotten pretty boring after a while. Maybe it’s the depression talking, but everything just tastes bland when it comes out of a buffet trough. Hot sauce would be a good way to go to fix that, if anything spicier than pico de gallo didn’t disagree with me. I still don’t know how people can willingly subject themselves to oral torture via condiments, let alone get into contests over who can eat the spiciest pepper in existence. What was it my friend said? Something about how some people are nontasters and need stronger spices to actually feel something and some people are supertasters where everything is intense. Dang, I need to look that up sometime. I wonder if the ratio of supertasters to nontasters or vice versa is linked to specific regions of the world? Would explain why some cultures enjoy spicier food while some can’t stand anything stronger than salt.

There are burritos today. A small blessing.

Write your story. Stop watching that video on your phone, pull out your notebook, and write your story. You’ll feel much better with it done, but you need to actually write the story. You’ve already watched this video ten times already, you know it by heart, why are you watching it over and over again when you have other things you’ve been meaning to get to? Put it away on the count of three. One, two, three. I said, one, two, three four five- damnit.

“We now bring to you on the Inner Brain Radio “Mambo. No 5”, but only the first measure. This will be on repeat for the next three hours.”

Excellent. Hey, can I request something different? Like, maybe some silence, or some thoughts on how I’m actually going to finish this freaking story?

“Sorry, we don’t take requests.”

That’s what I figured.

Damn, this burrito is hot. Why are all the burritos from the cafeteria burning hot? The rice is always overcooked, too. Tasteless. Feels like chewing on actual rice grains instead of, you know, cooked rice. At least it fills me up- won’t have to break my writing stride to get a snack, if it comes to that. And it always comes to that.

…Noise.

Too much noise. Mouths chewing with wet and obscene sounds. Conversations I can’t piece together but try to anyway. What if they’re talking about me?

I can’t tell whether they’re laughing or crying.

I can’t tell whether they’re laughing or crying.

I can’t tell whether they’re laughing or crying.

Need to move. No more people. I’m tired after two classes, how am I supposed to work in the real world? How am I supposed to do anything worthwhile? How am I supposed to grow and be an adult? I don’t feel like an adult. I stopped changing at sixteen and I’ve been stuck in this worthless rotten excuse of a body ever since.

Stand up. Stand up! Prickling in my muscles, everything’s too loud. Beep boop, out of people juice again. Where can I get more? People juice machine broke. Why am I thinking in memes at a time like this, I need to pack up my bag and go.

Out of the cafeteria, into the fall air. I don’t need to think about the path I’m taking. I may not be able to remember meetings, due dates, birthdays, names, anything short-term memory related, or anything that makes me viable and valid as a human adult worth caring about, but by God do I still have my muscle memory! Wondrous miracles!

What should I listen to on the walk home? Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to listen to this album. It’d be good to listen to something new. Or, I could listen to the same set of songs I’ve been listening to on repeat for weeks now because that’s what’s comfortable to me.

Yeah. Let’s go with that.

It’s getting windier by the minute. I left my good jacket in my bedroom closet- didn’t think I’d need it today. I need to make it a habit to check the weather before I go out, I can’t keep going out under prepared like this-

What on earth is that squirrel doing?

…God damnit. Did it again. I’m just a walking stereotype at this point. I really hate that joke about people with ADHD and squirrels, but it’s true. Maybe that’s why I hate it so much.

I did take my pills today, didn’t I? The section for today is empty, so I must have. Good. I’ve gotten better about doing that.

Walk faster towards home, bow my head against the galeforce winds. It’s not galeforce, I’m exaggerating, but it’s damn windy is what it is. I’m swimming upstream, I’m a carp trying to jump a waterfall. I’m Sisyphus up a hill made out of air. I’m an adventurer on a solemn quest, I’m a badass with somewhere to be, I’m making up things that I am because the walk home is boring and I’d rather be at home under my duvet instead of be out here freezing my everything off.

Finally home. My room’s at the top of three sets of stairs. I’m the crazy lady in the attic. Stick me up here, forget about me. Or it could be that it’s smaller so they make the single rooms out of the space they have. Self reminder- finish reading “The Yellow Wallpaper”.

When I take off my shoes, I need to place them in the shoe caddy. If I do so, it will be easier to find them and they won’t be a trip hazard. Everyone wins.

I didn’t place them in the shoe caddy. Figures.

Set your bag down, pull your laptop and notebook out. This whole day will be a waste if I don’t get something down at least. Sit on your bed and make yourself comfortable. I’m not going anywhere for the next however-long-it-takes, and the desk chairs are too hard for my delicate lil’ butt to handle.

My bedsheets already smell like farts and sweat. I just washed them a few days ago. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

A thousand underperformances on the back of my neck, constricting my lungs. I’ve barely opened the laptop and already I’m at anxiety DEFCON 2, how am I supposed to start this thing? It’s impossible, why did I put it off for this long, I’m going to fail, I’m-

Wait! Breathe. Breathe in for five, hold for five, exhale for seven. That’s it, just like your psychologist taught you. Still stressed. Thoughts still racing. Howie Mandel, I’m going to use a lifeline on this one. Pick up my phone, flip over to texts.

[Mom are you in a good place to talk right now?] [well, text] [not up for calling atm]

[I am. What’s up?]

[just. kind of stressed out] [I have a story due by midnight and I haven’t started  it yet] [trying not to beat myself up about it. not really working]

[At least you’re trying, right? That’s better than in the past.] [Maybe try doing something nice for a bit?] [Not forever, just something that will calm you down.]

[did I mention its due tonight at midnight]

[I know. But trying to do things when you’re riled up doesn’t work.]

I hate it when she’s right.

[maybe I’ll do some knitting for a bit] [still have to finish that blanket]

[Sounds like a plan <3]

One, two, three four… seven? Fuck, I dropped a stitch somewhere. Time to frog it and start over. Mom’s always astonished when I spend so much time on something and destroy it when it’s not perfect. Like I didn’t inherit it from her. She’s gotten better in recent days, but still. Still. Why do knitters call it “frogging”? Because you rip it, rip it.

…It’s nine o clock at night. When did it become nine o clock at night? Put your knitting away, goddamnit, what are you thinking? The story’s due before midnight, just open your Word doc and go!

Focus. Play with form. Poetry, writing, dance, art, living- it’s all just one connection of motion to another. But at what point does a story become a poem? Or a poem become a story, either or. I know free verse is a thing, will the teacher dock me points if it’s not within at least a certain limit of change? Maybe. I don’t know.

The word counter’s ticking up, one agonizing number at a time. It’s all bullshit, of course it’s all bullshit, I can’t write anything but bullshit. But in the Game of College Classes, all that matters is that it fulfills the requirements of the assignment. Nothing more.

Something something too rhythmic, something something “all writers are failed poets”, something something I don’t know what I’m doing, something something, just as long as it’s something.

You’ll never be good enough. This story will never be good enough. You’re unoriginal. And even if you were original, who would want someone who can’t turn things in on time? That’s all you’re good for, menial tasks, just get used up and thrown out when you’re no longer needed. You’re disposable. There are millions of other people just like you, only better because they aren’t lazy worthless garbage. No one likes you. People who say they like you and like what you do are lying. Why can’t you just write what’s in your head? You think you’re better than everyone else at this, but when it comes to brass tacks you just can’t live up to your own fantasies of greatness. Face it- you’re never going to get anywhere with this. You’re never going to get anywhere with anything you do. You’ll just give up as soon as things become even slightly tough; what were you thinking coming here, where it’s all tough all the time? Oh wait, you weren’t, you just go along with whatever someone in authority tells you because you’re a coward and can’t think for yourself without someone else giving the go-ahead. If you’re ever given control you just throw it all away and don’t do shit-

11:50pm. It’s done. Aborted thoughts that pro-lifers would have a field day with, flimsy thoughts, very little structure, absolutely meaningless in the long run, but done, blessedly done. Open your email, send it off to the professor. Write an apology for it being late at night. Send a joke that at least it’s on time. Delete the part that says “for once”- only so much self-deprecation is allowed when interacting with others before they get concerned. Hit the SEND button and try to feel proud, though you know you could have done better if you hadn’t put it off.

It’s late. I’m tired. Time to attempt to sleep. I’ll stay up until one watching videos- I know myself- but at least I need to pretend I’m going to bed or I’ll stay up even later with meaningless distractions

I’ll have to face my mistakes I’ve made with other classes tomorrow, the assignments I’ve put off elsewhere. But this is a victory. A victory that shouldn’t be this hard to get, but it’s a victory. And I’ll take it for all it’s worth.

[cutegirlmayra]

Hello! I absolutely adore your writing and with each story you post brings me motivation/inspiration! So thank you for that :") Also! I was wondering if you could write a Boom fic where Amy somehow leaves her diary/journal at Meh Burger, a villager takes it for slam poetry uses, and publicly and embarrassingly reveal Amy's crush on Sonic (while the team is there) to the village during a slam poetry competition? Sorry if this is asking for a lot, feel free to take as much time as you need! ❤

(x) permission given by Artists, please support them as well!

I had to look up ‘Slam Poetry’, and honestly, I just hope I do it justice cause like- Dang! lol, here goes nothing! (And that, precious anon, is why I write, so thank you :’) )

Prompt:

Amy wrote and angrily scribbled and stretched out her hand from the strain upon the paper she wrote on.

So dark and deeply pressed were her words upon those writings that she had to flex and massage her hand before going back at it again.

Just venting, she said to herself.

Finally, she sighed, writing something sweet and lightly, dipping her hand into her cheek and grinning with a blush before closing the diary.

She took a bite of her Meh Burger before seeing the Walrus lady’s baby wander after a ball into the street.

She freak out, pressing her hands to her cheeks and raced out, saving the baby by summoning her hammer and catching it up by swinging it gently to lift it up to the flat tip of her hammer and racing away from the one mobile that suddenly zoomed through the streets.

“Hey! Watch it, you crazy kids!” The swindler himself was parking at zooming speeds into Meh Burger with his two bear sidekicks, before Dave the Intern with his messy broom came over to them.

“Hey, we don’t have parking here.” He complained in his usual manner.

“Keep the change.” T.W Barker pulled out some money and let it fall into Dave’s hands, walking by him as the bears growled threateningly in his face and walked on after him.

“Hhhheeyyyy…. This isn’t even real money! It’s monopoly paper!” he held the money out for them but they were already gone, sitting at the table before he placed the newspaper down.

“Now, my good men. There must be something we can think of to get some decent suckers to cough up some greens around here…” He placed the paper down but it rolled over and revealed Amy’s journal.

Without looking, Barker reached for the ‘paper’ but ended up grabbing the book.

“Hmm? What’s this then?” he opened the diary, and his eyes went big with excitement. “Great scotts! A new novel!?”

“RARRRRR.” The bear pointed to a poster of a Grand Slam poetry competition.

“Heheheh… Even better!” The reward looked ‘grand’ enough.

He slammed the book closed and snapped as if applauding. “Alright boys… let’s get us some trouble!”

The bears and Barker went back to the car, not bothering to order as they slammed the doors and rammed into a tree, backing up even farther to roll over the tree and then drive off; such was the sturdy, brute build of their car they drove in.

Amy came back, waving the family off before freaking out. “Where’s my diary, where’s my diary, where, where, where!?!” she looked under the table, flipped it, and then pulled at her hair as she clenched her teeth into a frown and chattered them profusely.

Later, the turtle introduced the poets, and the bears were boo’d off stage.

“No, no, no!!! This won’t do!” Barker scolded them, “What good is the words if you can’t properly pronounce them!? We’ll have to hire a cheap-sake to read these awful lines…” he scratched his chin, before snapping his fingers, “I’ve got it!”

The little, cute pink girl in overalls began to make her way upstage with her hand-written poetry, before the bears surrounded her and Barker put an arm over her shoulder, “Hey, kid! How would you like to sign a bullet-proof contract and win this shindig without so much as thinking about it!”

“Really, mister?” she looked at the paper and started signing, as Barker looked up to his performing bears and snickered.

She walked onto the stage, as the Sonic team were sitting down in the audience.

Tails had some popcorn as Knuckles tried to reach over, but he slapped his hand away.

“Amy, quit stressing! I’m sure Dave will return the book as soon as he finds it.” Sonic tried to lean back and comfort her, but his words only made her stress more as she bit her nails.

“What if he reads it!? What if he threw it in the trash!? At least it’s safe in the trash… oh! But what if I never get it back!? My whole LIFE is in that da-I mean, book!” She shook him before withdrawing to her seat and bringing her legs up, hugging them and rocking in her chair, at- what she thought to be- maximum anxiety.

“Ehem.” Beth cleared her throat and began reading the book.

Why do colors mean so much?

What’s in a color?

For when I look at your blue, there is no such sorrow.

Amy’s head suddenly shot up.

“Oh, this is gonna be good.” Sticks smiled, having folded her arms before now being up on her chair and wagging her tail. “OWWHHHH-HOO!” she howled, liking the first words. “I think this is about aliens. What a smart girl. Everyone knows Aliens aren’t green. Pfft.” she sat back down, but on the edge of her seat.

But then again, there is a underlying anger.

Why is it that when you lay in your hammock,

I’m forced into a panic.

You rest peacefully, dream quietly.

I’m tossing and turning at a future that may never be.

Do you like me?

Is it possible?

All day you fight badniks

But don���t even know I’m calling out your name, Sonic!

Amy’s mouth dropped.

Sonic and the team suddenly fidgeted as everyone in the audience gasped and looked back at Sonic.

They suddenly turned back around to Beth and started snapping.

Amy’s eyes shrunk as she sweated and trembled in her chair, not able to speak.

Why does love’s possibilities haunt me so?

To tell you true would mean denying.

Playing, tortuous sayings.

Why can’t you just accept I like you?

Is dating that much of a scare to you?

To you.

What am I to you?

A never-ending friendship, though I feel so close to you.

Envious of you.

You with eyes for no one, but a heart to show for none.

At least I see a heart that’s pink as roses.

The meaning of my name’s purposes.

Amy felt like she was withering inside, before jumping up and quickly dashing to try and get backstage.

“Ah!” She was blocked off with her hands in front of her by the bears who gripped her from jumping on stage.

“What is this!?” Amy tried to fight them off, but they held her in air.

Barker laughed, stepping out from the shadows and facing her as an obstacle before the stage light…

“So… this journal’s yours, eh?” he smirked, before snapping his fingers.

“Bravo! I dare say, Bravo, Amy Rose! In a couple of seconds, your deepest, darkest fears are going to be realized in front of all the world!” he spread his arms out.

“No!” Amy cried out.

Beth continued,

I hate that you’re love is adventure.

But love that she cares for no man.

I hate that I surrender.

But love that I’m giving you a tender hand.

Love shouldn’t be so restrained.

Take it without a second thought.

Don’t leave me in this rain.

I think you may mock.

I think everyone would talk.

Shut up!

I don’t need any opinions! 

Girls should love without someone calling it an obsession!

Yeah, I get withdrawals.

I feel them when you refuse to stay

or say goodnight and hello at every day.

Okay?

Shut up!

I won’t say a word cause I want the sensation.

I want to be around it on every occasion.

The entire team’s mouths were dropped and absolutely motionless.

Tails’s face broke a moment to scrutinize the facts of how a little girl could be writing this.

People were throwing up snaps left and right to agree with her, but he wondered… he looked carefully at the book, then to the side stage where he saw a tail slightly sticking out.

“…Barker?” he then saw to the other side of the same area of the stage the bears being whacked into the bushes, before rushing back to try and contend again.

“Something’s not right…” Tails figured.

“Yeah, I’m starting to think this girl’s in love with Sonic!” Knuckles accused, before Sonic raised a hand and slapped himself out of it.

“What is it, Tails?” he fully ignored and denied the situation happening around him…

“Look!” Tails jumped up, “Amy!”

Amy was now seen fighting off the bears as they advanced on her.

“I’ll get you for this, Barker!”

“HAHAH! I’ve already won-!”

BANG!

He suddenly twitched and fell over.

Sticks had already crawled through the crowd’s chairs from below, and took out her boomerang to knock out Barker.

“Boy, I was so wrong about that girl.” she started, looking back to Amy. “She doesn’t know the first thing about Aliens! Or how to properly read for that manner…”

“Sticks! That book, it’s-!” Amy could barely get a word out before Tails flew in with Knuckles and Sonic, taking out the bears.

“We don’t know what’s going on, but it’s better than listening to this!” Sonic took out one of the bears, and looked back to Amy.

“Quick! Do what you gotta do!”

“Sonic…” her eyes bent back. For the first time, she was grateful for his obliviousness.

He winked.

And then she was afraid he may know again.

He continued back to wrestling the bears, as Barker started waking up but was crushed back to the ground by Amy’s foot.

She raced onto the stage, “Wait!”

She took the book…

“….Umm…”

The crowd coughed, growing silent.

“Miss Amy?” Beth stated, before looking to the mic, and then her.

Amy started to fidget, before flipping through the diary and taking a shaky breath.

….-Regardless of these rantful longings.

I’ll still be following.

Calling out to you.

It’s not wrong to have the feeling that I do.

Sonic suddenly stopped from arm-choking out the bear and let Knuckles take over, looking off to the stage a second.

He kept his face in a tight line, not letting any emotion show through.

He clenched his fists.

I don’t care if it’s shyness.

If you’re simply just clueless.

I don’t know why i love the color blue so much…

Maybe because it’s just….

She looked directly to Sonic.

You.

She turned back to the audience and pulled Beth closer.

“Love doesn’t need to make sense to everybody.” She smiled, and turned to the audience. “Just because you don’t get it… doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”

Suddenly, the crowd rose up snapping.

Tails and Knuckles chased off Barker and his bears, before turning back to smile up at Amy.

When they met up back with her, Tails asked- “Did you ever find that diary you were looking for?”

Amy sucked in a breath, and hid the book.

“O-Oh um…”

The four teammates smiled.

“Seems to still be lost… huh, Amy?” Sticks winked.

“Aww… I thought the book was her’s-OFFPH!” Knuckles was rammed in the elbow by Tails.

“Well, wherever the book is…” Sonic walked forward towards Amy, making her nervous before he put an arm around her shoulders and turned back to the team.

“Whatever’s in it is still in your heart. So you can just write it again somewhere else… privately… this time around.” he looked back to her and smiled.

For a second, she stared at if wondering if he knew…

She didn’t ask.

Later that night, Sonic offered to walk her home.

She had almost forgotten the book was still hiding behind her.

She forgot to check for it when she had to go upstairs a moment to return something of his.

He opened the drawer she had placed it in and just held it in his hands a moment.

He stared down at it…

“…You don’t care… but you do care…. huh?” he made a strange expression… before tossing the book in up and down in his hands as weighing it.

He sighed out a nervous breath and put the book back, lingering a moment before closing it when he heard her coming back down.

“Here you go! Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“Thanks for embarr-I MEAN- returning it.” he looked a bit nervous, “Um, I better head out, see ya!” he waved and departed.

Getting home on his hammock, he scanned around his home before picking at the floor.

He took a panel of wood off and lifted up some cloth, unwrapping to reveal a journal titled, “SECRETS.”

He opened it and laid back down on his hammock, letting it sway as he pulled out a pen and started writing something.

The words simply stated-

DON’T. BE. SHY.

He closed it and sighed, looking up and letting a leg drape over the side of his swinging bed.

“I hate poetry.” he finally stated, tossing the book back into it’s whole as pages flopped around and tore in the process.

[cwdcshows]

Supergirl - S5 E2 - Stranger Beside Me

Does the opening scene/save remind anyone else of the scene in the movie Hancock, where Will Smith's character does the classic superhero-esque save of Justin Bateman's character, by stopping the train, which in turn does some serious damage to the train; and everyone starts asking him, "why didn't you just move the car?" Why didn't she just move the car?  It's not like the semi was hurdling out of control and needed to be stopped; the car swerved to avoid the pedestrian, considering the wight, size and momentum of a semi, was it really that much easier to grind it to a halt, probably damaging the semi, rather than scooping up the car?  They still could have milked the drama, but I guess they couldn't spring for the special effect.  I hope insurance companies at this point have started offering act of Kryptonians coverage.

Is it realistic for Alex and Kelly been together for months without Alex at least knowing Kelly carries an epi pen, much less knowing why or that Kelly has a serious food allergy?   What's going on with all the couples doing special breakfasts on the same day?  This isn't some of that "Sweetest Day" bullshit, is it?  That was about a week or two ago.... James' post CatCo editor career options are running for the senate and a cushy job at the Smithsonian?  I find myself going back and forth whether these options are outlandish for the character or actually make sense.  On the one hand, James is supposed to have a fair amount of recognition for his work as a photojournalist even before he came to CatCo.  But on the other he's basically a neckerchief away from being the Fred of this Scooby Doo dang; and has at least as much public notoriety as a masked vigilante.... "He said he was my brother.  At first I didn't believe him, but now I know it must be true." "How do you know?"

So did Brainiac basically reveal that we're presently "sometime in the late dark ages"? Wait, "Hope" is incapable hurting someone, because it goes against its "prime directive"?  A)Keep my Star Trek out of your DC; and B) Didn't Hope offer to help Lena kill Kara in the previous episode? They're really doubling down on making this new CatCo boss unlikable.  I mean, Christ, you're just going to reassign Kara, your Pulitzer winning journalist, to fucking fashion?? Elitist?  Fuck you lady.  James already walked for less, Kara sure as hell better be following suit before long, because there's only so much of someone's assholery a person can swallow; and I realize those are a poor choice of words and I don't care. So I'm curious, if Kara didn't do the assignment and got fired, would that still trigger her no-compete clause?  I suppose there'd probably some type of word to prevent an obvious loophole like that.  Even still, considering how James is fairing, there has to be something better out there.   They better not try to flip it around and try to have it turn out that this new boss woman secretly has a heart of gold that we're supposed to sympathize with, because there's not a chance in hell that's going to happen. And no, I have no interest in learning her name; it's bad enough I learned Kelly's So Terrible-Boss owns a company that has developed technology that allows them to mind meld with Martians using contact lenses?  

Ugh, seriously, the kiss ass at CatCo is going to find out Kara's identity, isn't he?  It's going to be really stupid if he does, because Supergirl and Superman should be better at, you know, not being easily surveilled... Wait, wiping a person's mind is the greatest sin in Martian Culture?  Wasn't that an entire plot line of J'Onn doing exactly that last year?  Admittedly they were willing, or at least most of them were; I feel like he's wiped a few minds of people who didn't volunteer, but maybe I'm wrong on that. Awe, and here I was hoping Kiss Ass Dude was going to get eaten by a white-martian.   Oh, Terrible Boss' name is Andrea.... Hurray. I'm probably not going to remember that.  Way to poke the bear, berating a Luthor.  That seems wise. Here's hoping Lena tosses you into the sun. Oh, Christ, "Idiot Jed" is back - just when they finally managed to make Brainy interesting at the end of last season.  Come on Brainy, how can you be so "smart" and not comprehend the amount of food a single person can consume in a day? Augh, they're not going to hook up Kara with the Kiss Ass, are they?  Please don't.  I'd rather she end up with...well, Lena, but I mean, anyone but this douche bag.  I see it now, Alex is going to figure out this isn't Kelly when J'Onn's brother doesn't know to be allergic to blueberries. Well, that took all of three seconds. Didn't J'Onn's brother come in through Alex's window? Why did Kara come through the front door? It was awfully nice of J'Onn's brother not to kill Alex, but rather tuck her away safely in a closet.  Was that supposed to be subtext? Jesus tap dancing Christ, the whole "It's me, I'm the real one," "No I'm the real one"? Shoot them both, it's a win-win. Ah, Kiss Ass' name is William.  Kelly's allergic to...cats............I'm not going there...... Alex could tell the shapeshift wasn't really Kelly the way "it" touched her hand?  Get out of here with that bullshit.  I thought it had something to do with the ring Not-Kelly was wearing. It's appropriate that I was just reminded of the "Dobler/Dahmer Theory" from How I Met Your Mother - Brainy's walking a fine line between the two in this episode...

You know, this cover of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" essentially works during virtually all of the scenes they show while it's play, arguably because those scenes involve women at different places in their relationships - so the shot of J'Onn meditating, especially as the refrain is being sung, seems like a real outlier in this montage; because he's clearly not a girl and I don't think he's all that interested in fun at the moment... Was Nia supposed to look distressed as she turned away from Brainy in bed; or just annoyed?�� Because it came off as more the former, which doesn't really fit with how her previous scene with Brainy ended; so I'm assuming she was just supposed to be annoyed that Brainiac was still quoting poetry to her. So Billy volunteers at a shelter.  That's nice.  Still don't want him hooking up with Kara. Augh, what the hell are they doing with Lena.....