#dancinglifeboat mentioned me in one of their posts

[incorrectzep]

Leif: Tobin, I love you dearly, but you’re a fucking idiot.

Tobin: ...That’s fair.

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

an icarus and his sun: chapter 7

A/N: scott's pov, finally!! as well as more of my "the empires smp gals deserve to go off, actually" agenda. also check out this rad art submitted by @dancinglifeboat! i also would like to apologize ahead of time, the updates from here on out are probably going to slow down a bit because while i am still extremely motivated to write this fic, it hasn't been as high as it was for the upcoming chapters as it has been for the previous ones. i honestly don't even know HOW i was so motivated to write several chapters so fast that i actually had a backlog of them for a bit and was able to post them daily. so the updates will likely slow down to being every couple of days or maybe every couple of weeks, depending on time/motivation. but yeah! anyway, enjoy!

Warnings: lying/manipulation, threats of violence, past violence, arguing, heartbreak

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost

-

Scott felt just about sick to his stomach every time he looked at the slimeball Jimmy had given him. It was such a stupid little thing to get emotional over, and it was honestly kind of gross and sticky. But Scott couldn’t bear to get rid of it. It had stung more than he cared to admit when Jimmy had reminded him of how isolated and distant Scott was from everything. Staying up and away from the world kept him safe, kept his empire safe. But being safe didn’t make it any less lonely and isolating. And then Jimmy had looked at him like he was the world, and told him that he should be able to enjoy the little things too. Scott couldn’t bear to get rid of the slimeball, even though the memories were painful now. For as much as bluntly being reminded that he was alone stung, Jimmy telling him to leave stung even worse.

Looking back on it now, Scott didn’t really know why he had sided with Fwhip. It was long before Scott had really felt anything for Jimmy, mostly flirting with him to get a rise out of him. That flirting had always devolved into fighting, and it was after one particularly nasty argument that Fwhip had pulled him aside after the meeting and talked about how the House Blossom Alliance would be the downfall of their empires. And at the time… Scott had agreed with him. He loved Katherine, he really did- but there were too many rivalries in that alliance for it to ever truly work. So he went along with Fwhip’s plan- go along with the meetings until an opportunity arose. Then came the addendum of Scott keeping an eye on Jimmy to make sure he wouldn’t be a problem. And then came the plan of rigging the ballroom to explode and blame it on another empire. And even worse- Scott actually caught feelings for Jimmy, instead of it being an act like Fwhip had planned.

So before the night of the ball, Scott had struck a deal with Fwhip. If there was no argumentative behavior during the ball, then he wouldn’t set off the TNT. To his surprise and relief, Fwhip had agreed- and then went and purposefully antagonized Jimmy. And Jimmy- sweet, impulsive Jimmy- had fought right back. Scott didn’t get a chance to pull Fwhip aside and convince him to change his mind before Lizzie had asked him for a dance, then spun Jimmy right into his arms. Fwhip had been watching them the entire time they danced, then left as soon as the song ended, heading up the stairs. Scott snuck away from Jimmy to follow him- only for Fwhip to have flown off by the time Scott made his way up the stairs. Then Jimmy followed him too, and once he spotted Fwhip in the distance with his crossbow, Scott realized he had been used to draw Jimmy out. So he kissed Jimmy, and then Fwhip set off the explosions. It was then Scott realized Fwhip had lied to him about the plan- somehow he had rigged Katherine’s entire castle with TNT, not just the ballroom, and wanted to be sure that everyone knew it was Fwhip and the Wither Rose Alliance behind it all. A show of power, so that no one would mess with them.

So now Scott was alone again. Jimmy felt like Scott had betrayed him- and frankly, Scott had. He should have told the House Blossom Alliance about the TNT, instead of striking a weak deal with Fwhip. Now the House Blossom Alliance would never trust him again, and all Scott had now was the Wither Rose Alliance- which Scott wasn’t so sure if he wanted to be a part of anymore. And at their next secret meeting, Scott found out that he wasn’t the only one with this opinion. Usually they met in Gem’s hidden meeting room, but this time around, she insisted on meeting in the Grimlands, not giving a clear reason why. Scott had thought nothing of it, until the time for the meeting actually came.

“I’m done, Fwhip,” Gem said, not even taking a seat at the table. Fwhip leaned back in his chair, raising an eyebrow at Gem.

“What do you mean, you’re ‘done?’” he scoffed. Gem slammed her hands down on the table, purple magic sparking in the air. Everyone in the room had ranging expressions of shock and terror on their faces. Gem never got angry like this, at least not as long as Scott had known her. Fwhip, however, seemed unphased.

“You lied to us. You said you were going to make a point at the House Blossom Ball. Instead you blew it up! You could have killed us!” she fumed. Fwhip rolled his eyes.

“Gem, you know me. What other point would I have made that didn’t go off with a bang? Besides, Sausage and Scott knew about the TNT,” Fwhip replied with a shrug. The glare Gem sent him was deadly, and Pearl rose from her seat at the revelation.

“I was hoping that maybe Scott was clever and figured out your plan, and just wasn’t able to get the information to anyone in time- but you told him and Sausage?! And I’m not exactly pleased that neither of them felt it was necessary to tell Gem and I what was going on, but the nerve of you to hide information from your own allies, Fwhip!” Pearl scolded. Scott and Sausage didn’t say anything, a little embarrassed- but to be fair, it hadn’t really occurred to Scott that Fwhip didn’t tell everyone about his plan. He had told Scott one-on-one, and Scott had foolishly assumed that he had told the others as well. Yet another frustrating hoodwink courtesy of Fwhip.

“Because I knew you would react like this! But there’s no sense in arguing about it now, what’s happened has happened. Let’s discuss plans for the future, shall we?” Fwhip said with an overly charming grin.

“No,” Pearl said firmly, and Fwhip blinked in surprise.

“What?” he asked in disbelief.

“You heard Gem. She’s done, and so am I. I won’t be a part of this senseless destruction anymore,” Pearl said evenly. And before Fwhip had a chance to protest, Pearl and Gem stormed out of the room. Fwhip let out a dejected sigh, before sitting up straight in his seat again.

“Fine. Who needs them? We’ll be just fine- won’t we, boys?” Fwhip asked, and the smile he gave Scott made his stomach roll.

“Yeah! Now we don’t have to tiptoe around them anymore!” Sausage cheered, and Scott could only give a weak smile in response. Something in Fwhip’s smile turned sharp as he leaned towards Scott with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“You know, I never properly complimented your acting skills. You really had Jimmy caught like a fish in a net. It’s a shame though- you got a little too wrapped up in the act- not to mention him- and we lost a valuable chance to deal with the Codfather once and for all. But that’s alright- I’m sure we’ll get another opportunity,” Fwhip said in a low and dangerous tone, the thinly veiled threat very clear to Scott. Don’t get in the way again, and don’t try and weasel out of plans. Or he’d make sure he’d regret it.

“R-right,” Scott said shakily. Fwhip seemed satisfied, and leaned back in his chair once more.

“Good. Now I suppose that advantage with you pretending to like Jimmy is gone now, unless you do a lot more than just kiss him this time around-”

“No,” Scott blurted, before he could really think about it.

“What was that?” Fwhip asked, raising an eyebrow. A lie about how Jimmy definitely didn’t want to see him again- which wasn’t really a lie per se, but it wasn’t the reason Scott said no- was at the tip of his tongue. But he couldn’t say it. And in that moment, he finally decided to do what Pearl and Gem had done.

“I’m not doing this anymore. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about bringing more pain and destruction to J- to these lands,” Scott said, voice shaking a little but his eyes sharp as he glared at Fwhip. But Fwhip caught the wobble in his voice and how he nearly said Jimmy’s name. However Sausage spoke up and commented on it before Fwhip could.

“You WEREN’T pretending, you actually fell for Jimmy!” Sausage gasped, and the tone of his voice reminded him of simpler times, when Sausage would tease him about his flirting with Jimmy and Pearl would admonish him and tell Sausage to leave Scott alone. Then Fwhip had taken advantage of Scott’s banter with Jimmy, and brought Scott’s world crashing down around him as a result.

“You’ve gotten weak, Scott. What happened to the imposing, cold ruler of Rivendell?” Fwhip sneered. Scott rose from the table at that, glaring Fwhip down.

“I’m finally being the ruler I should have been. I’m not going to let other empires use me for their own gain, and I’m not going to be part of your destructive plans,” Scott fumed, wings flaring and making him seem taller, more threatening. Fwhip chuckled darkly.

“You walk out of here, and you’ll regret it,” he growled.

“I’ll take my chances,” Scott shot back, turning on his heel and exiting the room, ignoring both Fwhip and Sausage’s voices after him. He was done with the Wither Rose Alliance. In fact, he was done with alliances entirely. He was going to stay in the mountains and care for his empire, like he should have been all along.

-

Then the slimeball on the side table by his bed reminded Scott why he didn’t want to stay in the mountains. He would just be exactly what Jimmy expected of him- high and mighty, being too good for anyone. And being alone. Scott had a taste of what a sense of togetherness felt like, and now being alone hurt more than ever. But there was no one he could go to, no one who would trust him. Maybe he could form something with Pearl and Gem, or maybe the two new empire rulers, Shelby and Joey- but it wouldn’t be the same. Nothing would ever be the same, not as long as the mere memory of Jimmy’s goofy grin sent his heart fracturing a thousand times, over and over again.

He couldn’t stand being within the walls of his home any longer. His wings itched with the need to spread and take to the skies, and flying always made him feel better. So Scott did just that, taking to the skies and flying nowhere in particular, just far away from all the empires as much as possible. Maybe if he flew far enough, it would all disappear and Scott wouldn’t have to deal with his problems anymore. And maybe with enough distance, his heartbreak would disappear too.

-

Taglists below! Ask to be added/removed!

MCYT General Fic Taglist: @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @gattonero17 @hetapeep41 @space-ace123 @vyeoh 

AIAHS Taglist: @anty-kreatywna @beepa99 @devilwoodkitty18 @riobug

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

I was tagged by @scribbling-dragon to do this! Thanks for the tag!! :D

1. Number of stories posted to ao3

20! Which is like 1/4 of my total number of works on ao3, so that’s pretty neat!

2. Word count posted for the year

74,359! Which is honestly pretty impressive considering I posted mostly oneshots and drabbles this year haha

3. Fandoms I wrote for

Dream SMP, Origins SMP, 3rd Life, Last Life, Empires SMP, and Hermitcraft!

4. Pairings

SO much flower husbands omg. And one Phil and Kristin fic! 

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments

Highest by kudos was an icarus and his sun, highest by bookmarks was and the void looked back to say i love you, and the highest by comments was an icarus and his sun (y’all really liked aiahs, I’m glad!! I really liked it too!)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why)

Definitely an icarus and his sun! I felt really afraid to post it, because A: it was super self-indulgent and I thought maybe three people would only really read it, B: it was one of the first specifically shippy flower husbands fics (most fh fics at the time barely had them kissing, cause lots of folks were nervous about overstepping boundaries, and I personally was worried about getting hate for overstepping boundaries). But the attention the fic got was INSANE and I get so many people telling me that my fic inspired them to write flower husbands, which is incredibly sweet. aiahs also got me out of a massive writing slump, it was the first multichapter work in a LONG time that I felt super inspired and motivated to write (it was also the first time EVER that I had written so much that I had a backlog of chapters, and was able to do some daily updates). I also just genuinely enjoyed writing that fic, and I’m so happy that people enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why)

Probably like a beat without a melody. It was my first foray into writing mcyt fanfic, and I don’t really feel all that confident about my characterization of Techno and Tommy in that one. However I will concede that it was the first stepping stone into getting out of a writing slump and beginning to feel excited about writing again!

8. Share or describe a favorite review you’ve received

Both @dancinglifeboat and @pastelvangelion’s reactions to my fics always made my day!! Lifeboat’s long rambling comments on specific details they liked and her pregame comments on tumblr are always lovely, and Kiki’s threats to me over aiahs on discord and tumblr made me cackle like an evil genius lmao

9. A time when writing was really, really hard

Probably the beginning of 2021. I wasn’t as into Sanders Sides as I was before (which made me feel pretty sad, but I couldn’t get myself into it as much as I used to), and because of that I was really struggling with writing. I also felt mild guilt about writing for a different fandom, because I felt like everyone expected Sanders Sides fic from me. I honestly still feel like that a little bit, but that’s mostly my own head being mean, a lot of people seem to have stuck around no matter what I write! And I also have just learned to let myself enjoy things too! Not to mention that I’ve made a bunch of new friends through mcyt!

10. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you

I honestly didn’t think I’d be into flower husbands as much as I am. I thought I’d write a handful of fics and eventually go back to writing Dream SMP fic or get back into Sanders Sides or something, but I really am just no thoughts, head empty, just flower husbands. But as for any specific scene or character, I am surprised that I like writing Jimmy as much as I do. Scott has been my favorite cc for a while (I’ve watched him since like 2016 I think?) so I kind of assumed I’d mostly write in his POV for stuff, but again and again I found myself writing from Jimmy’s POV. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely write from Scott’s POV a lot, but aiahs was mostly Jimmy’s POV, which wasn’t exactly what I had expected to do lol. 

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing

Scott laughed, dipping and twirling in the sky while Jimmy struggled to keep up. Going after someone who had actual wings while Jimmy only had an elytra was a definite disadvantage, but Jimmy was a little too stubborn to care. Scott climbed higher into the sky with ease, Jimmy following close after- and then the sun hit Scott’s wings and Jimmy just about fell out of the sky. The sun’s rays caught the gold tips of his wings, making them shimmer. But it wasn’t just the sunshine reflecting off his wings- it was the way Scott’s whole face seemed to shine like the sun with his smile and how the wind ruffled his usually neat hair. It was how his laugh sounded as if the shimmering of gold made a sound. It was how those icy blue eyes sparkled with mirth as he held the slimeball victoriously above his head. It was how Scott’s expression suddenly melted from that of a mischievous trickster to something almost fond. All of those things caused that pleasant flip-flopping feeling in his stomach to return, and Jimmy suddenly pitched down because of it. He quickly righted himself, flushing in embarrassment and glaring at Scott’s resulting smirk.

it took me way too long to pick just one excerpt, but i eventually went with this one from ch 4 of aiahs! another close contender was the balcony kiss scene from ch 5 of aiahs, but i decided to go with this one instead cause it’s less angsty lol. but i really like this scene bc i am very proud of the icarus imagery here, as well as the flying description!! 

12. How did you grow as a writer this year?

I think I’ve definitely improved a lot! My characterization has gotten pretty good, and I’ve gotten better at some prose-y and poetic-y type stuff in my writing instead of relying completely on dialogue. I’ve also let myself just write things that I like, without worrying too much about what people “want” from me.

13. How do you hope to grow next year?

While I said that I had gotten better at the more prose/poetic type of writing, I definitely could do with letting up on the dialogue a bit and doing more descriptive writing. Not a whole ton, because my writing style lends more to focusing on characterization, but I do wanna get better with describing a character’s surroundings in a way that is relevant to the fic and doesn’t interrupt the flow of the writing! 

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)?

Honestly anyone who has left comments on AO3 or ramblings in reblogs on tumblr has been such a positive influence on me. I also want to shoutout people who send me asks or messages about fics/aus- @silencer-lemonade, @screamingallium, @smaidjor, @god-of-identity, @dancinglifeboat, @vyeoh, and crown anon are some people off the top of my head who have done so, but there are also so many people who have motivated me this year on discord! If you’re in the rps (ranboo protection squad), or hermbi discord, I love and appreciate you all very many <3 (and also special shoutout to @scribbling-dragon who has motivated me as much as they say I’ve motivated xem!)

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year

the fact that i am incredibly touch-starved and constantly yearning lmao. oh also particularly the amount of platonic hand-holding that showed up in aiahs. someone hold my hand pls i love holding hands with people

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers

write what you want!! even if you think you’re the only person in the world who’d want to read it, write it anyway! bc in my experience, there will probably be at least one other person who likes it, and sometimes fics will surprise you! there have been so many times where i’ve written something on a whim and people have loved it!

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

I really want to write more of interrupted isolation this year, as well as maybe FINALLY start that aiahs nature wives sequel! or just write more for the aiahs-verse in general haha

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

uhh how about @infinitelysordinary and @smaidjor! i’d like to see what you’ve got to say about ur fics in 2021!