#dancing through the daydreams
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lesbianherald · 28 days ago
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if its ok to ask, how do u find the motivation to write? i have a whole oiutline and everything i just cant seem to find the motivation to Actually Write Anything and was wondering if you had any advice ?
hello ! sorry this has been in my inbox for a while because I do not know how to answer !
typically, unless i'm in a really bad depressive episode, finding the motivation comes kind of naturally because I just love it so much and its such an escape for me. when I'm writing nothing else matters other than what I'm doing. all the noise of the world is gone and I don't have to worry about like, being a person while somehow simultaneously contemplating what it means to be a person in a really safe way.
i don't know if that makes sense. i was a very lonely kid and I think maybe it became a natural impulse for me. that's not saying my writing is better or some shit like that. some of the most brilliant writers I know struggle with motivation all the time. that's just not really my relationship with it.
But! If i'm in a bad episode or feeling stuck or like I've written myself into a hole, I typically listen to music that reminds me of whatever I'm working on. and then I listen to it all the time and visualize it in my head when I'm doing things like running errands and doing laundry.
also, for me writing works best if I just KEEP GOING and don't stop and ponder too much, Even if I HATE IT. especially if I'm just lost on a word or phrase. usually I'll just write something like "fix this later bee" or "research this later?" and move on. whose going to see it? if you're studying writing, just make sure the notes you leave have your name then search it before you turn anything in LMAO
usually when i'm writing and i note something is wrong I'll keep another tab open with a checklist of things I need to address or fix in the next draft instead of trying to make things perfect in the first. i think the need for perfection or overthinking often holds people up. I see that a LOT in my students.
sometimes in long form (feature films specifically) the urge to go back and correct becomes too much or I really do need to change something for future scenes to make sense. In that case I usually go sequence by sequence.
the fear of being 'bad' often stops people from even trying. but the only thing that will make you better is to get the "bAd" out first. Usually, I find people who really want to write who can't have something rooted in this fear.
IDK i hope that helps! Sorry it took so long.
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stephanooch · 9 months ago
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wyll's tiefling party scene is so fucking cute im BLUSHING over here
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lestatlovesboypussy · 6 days ago
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tagged by @infinitelyweary to do this music tag! Thank youuuu I'm so excited!!
rule: shuffle your “On Repeat” playlist and post the first (10) songs, then tag (10) friends to do the same!
Okay YouTube Music doesn't do this so I'll do my 2024 Rewind playlist instead
1. Joyride // Kesha
2. Defying Gravity // OG Wicked Cast
3. Real Gone Kid // Deacon Blue
4. Kill Bill // SZA
5. The Show Must Go On // Queen
6. Holding Out For A Hero // Bonnie Tyler
7. Karma // Jojo Siwa
8. Toxic // Britney Spears
9. Pure/Honey // Beyonce
10. Bed Chem // Sabrina Carpenter
I will tag anyone who wants to do it!!
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fiirstnephalem · 2 years ago
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The way she looks at her partners kills me. She holds so much love despite the endless amount that she's been hurt.
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scarlethoodi · 10 months ago
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What I really love about the Daydream Hour art is that it really shows that the characters in Dungeon Meshi aren’t just characters in a story, but they’re Ryoko Kui’s ocs. And sure maybe this is a perk that’s granted to mangakas that release on a monthly schedule opposed to weekly IDK but there’s just some about getting to see different interpretations of the characters and peeks into what she draws in her free time outside the story.
Like look Marcille likes to dance
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And here’s the characters in Halloween costumes
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Taking Covid precautions
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And like I just love how casually she draws and depicts the characters in her personal work. There’s something for quite literally all the characters and like I said maybe other mangakas don’t have or can’t find the time to do so or choose to not release their personal work like she does but I think these pieces just make the characters feel more alive. Like she’s an oc artist through and through lol
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s0dium · 8 months ago
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Obsession
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Warning: Love drunk men, fingering, titty sucking, nipple play, unprotected sex, love drunk reader
~
Love courses through your veins. He’s all you can think about.
You wonder if it's normal to be this enamored with someone, to be this hopelessly head over heels infatuated and obsessed. You can't even focus on what needs to be done anymore because he's absorbed your entire being; he's in your head when you wake up, a gentle whisper in the back of your mind during conversations, a constant in your dreams, day or night.
But it's a doomed one-sided crush you remind yourself. You're not even sure if he knows you exist and in quieter moments, you wonder if perhaps it’s better this way. Loving from a distance means you never have to face the potential heartbreak of rejection, never have to see that polite smile of someone who doesn’t return your feelings. It's safer, you tell yourself, to admire him from afar, keeping your heart guarded behind the shield of daydreams and what-ifs.
So surely, right now in this moment, you must be dreaming.
It feels too vivid, too intense to be just a figment of your imagination. The warmth of his breath against your cheek, the weight of his bare body pressing gently down on yours, the softness of his lips moving against your own with an insatiable hunger—it all feels astonishingly real.
Because it is.
You don't know how but now you're naked underneath him, letting him touch, grope, suck, kiss, nip, and bite anything his hands and mouth can find. He doesn't let up either, he's exploring your body like a starved man, like he'll never get a chance to touch you ever again and wont pull away until he's had his fill.
You gasp when you feel his fingers between your legs, tracing your inner thigh before gliding between your pussy lips. Instinctively, you jerk back at the feeling; his fingers collecting your arousal and sliding up and down. But before you can speak, he kisses you again, his tongue eagerly intertwining with yours. When he finally pulls away, leaving you breathless, a thin strand of saliva connects your mouths.
"Just let me take care of you okay?" He hums before dipping two fingers into your tight hole. "Just been waiting so long to do this."
You don't even have time to react before he's curling his digits and massaging a sweet spot you could only dream about hitting on your own. His other hand gropes your left breast and with his index and thumb, begins to play with your perky nipples. As if that wasn't enough, his mouth found your other breast and gave it the same attention, licking sucking, and rolling your nipple like it was candy.
Colors dance across your closed eyelids and you wonder if this is heaven, if you've died and reached nirvana because the pleasure is just that good. You dont know if you can handle this, handle the fact that he's sucking and playing with your nipples while finger fucking you. Your toes curl and uncurl from the hot searing euphoria that is absorbing your body and emitting from your core. Your back arches off the bed and your crying his name, moaning it even, something you only dreamed about doing late at night when you craved him.
Suddenly, his mouth releases your nipple with a pop and he ceases all of his ministrations, leaving you breathless and confused.
"Fuck, I-" He's breathless himself, his face flushed and pupils blown. "Need to be inside you, need to feel you." He practically groans, and you thickly gulp at his words. Your brain goes fuzzy and you dizzily watch him pull down his boxers, the length slapping against his abdomen after being released from its confines.
He watches you lay down on the bed, breasts and cunt glistening from juices. You dont know this but he actually thinks he is dreaming. You look like a painting right now and he has to bite his lip to stop himself from spilling just at the sight of you.
"Please," You whine, "Please fuck me."
Who is he to deny you?
Without a word he presses his tip against your entrance and slides into you, grunting at the snug fit of your walls. You let out a loud moan from the feeling of him filling you so so perfectly, so well you mentally curse yourself for thinking a dildo or your fingers could ever do the job.
Then with a moan of his own, he slides out of you, nearly leaving you empty, before rocking himself back into you. Oh, how he wanted to fuck you slow and nice, like you deserved, but as the seconds passed, his resolve seep away until he just couldn't possibly hold back anymore.
His thrusts become faster, quicker, slamming in and out of you with such vigor and ease due to your combined juices coating and dripping from both his length and your hole. The friction is delicious, and his tip seems to hit your g-spot perfectly with each thrust. He even grabs the underside of your thigh and pushes them against you, effectively folding you and half and allowing him to go even deeper inside you.
You could feel your rational slipping away as he groaned about how fucking good you felt, about how good you where taking him, how he had been dreaming about this. You want to say something too, say something about how you feel the same way, but the only thing that comes out of your mouth right now is wanton moans of his name.
The pleasure was becoming too much, it had been slowly building and building and you know your about to break any second, burst with such euphoria you don't know if you will ever come back from the high. Before you do though, your brain manages to work again for half a millisecond to express the exact words you are feeling.
"Love you! M'love you so much!" You gasped before letting yourself succumb to the mind-numbing orgasm that was waiting for you. Your whole body shook and quaked from the pleasure and your mind went white. You thought you might cry, from happiness or pleasure you did not know. But you didn't. You simply went limp while you let him use your body like a sex doll.
You are barely clinging onto consciousness when you feel his hips stutter against you and he scoops you up, holding you close while he cums inside you.
"Love you too, love you too." He groans against your ear.
Any character you want ;)
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luvether · 30 days ago
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BURNT SUN-KISSED POPPIES. mydei
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summary, to be the childhood sweetheart of Kremnos‘ heir came the times where he sought comfort in you for all his tragedies.
mydei x gn!reader. fluff content. childhood to adulthood. secret pinings. puppy love. yearning. teasing. quality time. princess treatment. hurt with comfort. historical!au not canon compliant to amphoreus lore. written before version 3.0. [3.6k wc]
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What are the chances you get to visit Castrum Kremnos during your father’s many business trips?
By the Gods above, luck was in your favor that day.
Because visiting Castrum Kremnos meant being able to see their renowned young crown prince Mydeimos, rumored to be one of the future heroes of Okhema city and the lion of Kremnos—and in secrecy to you, also the receiver of your affections for as long as you remember.
You aren’t certain when this unimaginable pull happened, was it the way you first saw the dawn captured red upon his braided hair? Or was it his big eyes that furnaced and melted into gold ingots with flicks of honey?
Your heart flutters at the thought of simply just encountering him, your fingers bunching up your fabrics as your carriage arrives at the city gates.
With a table full of wine, goat cheese and fruits—it was easy to slip away from your father. He was too busy settling jovial talks about the kingdoms’ flourish with Kremnos’ leaders to realize your absence. The unfamiliar palace is bigger than you expected, grandeur even, completely different from your home city. When your eyes trace the intricate patterns upon their pillars you can immediately seize out the lion from its marble carvings. But despite its size, it was no challenge to locate the prince.
The sound of clashing wooden swords would indicate where he was since you are aware of his duties to fight—and it is said that crown prince Mydeimos is usually seen spending his leisure on swordsmanship practice with young lord Phainon.
At times, you envy how often Lord Phainon is mentioned around the prince.
They both seem really close.
When the harsh clacks of wood on wood floats around your ears, your hurried paces falter into quiet footsteps. You find yourself sneaking under an olive tree and peeking through the shrubs, eyes landing on two boys on the garden with cobblestone beneath their leather boots—they seem entirely engrossed in their sparring. Under the honeyed heat your lips purse, watching Mydeimos dance around Phainon, wooden swords blurring your vision, swishing and parrying in front of them as each boy exchange light blows with one another.
An exhausted rasp of a chuckle comes spilling down Mydei’s lips, he angles his sword to block when Phainon leans forward, cutting down hard in his direction. You’ve noticed their manner in fighting and can weed out the difference in an instant. Lord Phainon is calculated with his movements, there’s stability in his balance, reassurance woven into the sinews of his back beneath his white tunic. Prince Mydeimos on the other hand is more fluid, he makes use of his dynamics and his footwork is unpredictable, but there’s grace captured in it—like he’s dancing—lunging forward in strict confidence then sidestepping, bouncing back then spinning.
Mydei smiles—a boyish grin that crinkles his eyes—seemingly setting the whole place an inch brighter than before and you’re blinded by the setting sun. You tilt your head more, unable to deny the warm flush from the pillows of your cheeks when you see the hint of dimples on his face, dimples.
The prince is truly astonishing.
Years you were under the tutelage of different priests, learning about prophetic dreams and imagery and clairvoyance—but maybe you were too dizzy watching the boys zip around the gardens, or maybe you were too into your daydreams you didn’t notice how they had hastened their attacks. Mydei was now attacking Phainon in quick succession, seemingly drunk under the thrill to notice Phainon’s stuttering words of take a break or slow down your highness. You were too distracted to notice how the prince swipes up, cutting the atmosphere—the lord’s wooden sword flies out his grasp and comes spinning in your direction.
Oh.
You feel the solid plank crash against your forehead—barely registering the shock that jolts through the two boys when you stumble onto the marble floor, holding your face that seems to quickly heat at both the pain and the embarrassment.
Oh.
“Oh, lord what have you done—“
“Me?” Phainon panics. “You were the one that didn’t stop attacking, I told you numerous times how I prefer a great sword than a simple one. I’m unfamiliar with the weight.”
“Well, I—“
“Ow…”
Their attention snaps back to you. Mydei tosses his wooden sword onto the cobblestone uncaringly and along with Phainon, comes to your aid.
“Hey, are you okay?” Both holding out their hands when they ease you back to your feet. Phainon leans down to brush the crumbs of dirt from your attire, checking to see if you have other injuries whilst Mydei winces at your reddening face.
“I—truly, I apologize.” You can hear the sincerity and guilt in the young prince’s tone. “I didn’t mean…”
“No, I—“ you were quick to speak up as well. Your face furnacing even more when his concerned honey eyes latch with your own—to think your first interaction with each other would be this, how humiliating.
“I was the one who intruded.” You murmur, leaning down to bow. “I apologize for getting in the way, young lords i didn’t want to disturb—“
“Oh gods.” Phainon curses.
You lift your head, confused, until you feel something hot trickling down your nose. Both your hand and Mydei’s fly up to your face, barely containing the blood that rolls down your chin.
“Prince, I think we are in trouble.”
“Stop saying nonsense, Phainon. Tell a servant to fetch us a cloth and a basin of water immediately.”
He didn’t need to be told twice and he was swift, his feet tapping along the marble as he sprinted down the hallway and now you were left alone with Kremnos’ young heir.
You can feel your heart pounding in your chest.
Luck was definitely not on your side today.
“Hey, uhm…” Mydei trails off. You see the cogs in his head turning before he gently lets go of your face, you feel a soft pressure at the back of your skull instead as the prince beckons you to lean down towards him.
“Here, press your nose on my tunic. It would be a problem if we don’t add pressure to stop the bleeding—“
Your eyes widen, cheeks hot as coals. You find yourself shaking your head fervently, using the young prince’s shirt to help your nosebleed? if your reputation hadn’t sunk to the bottom of a seabed, it had now. How could you, and to Prince Mydeimos of all people?
But Mydei is persistent, somehow unaware that your flushed face is more likely due to the shame you felt than your injury.
“Please.” He pushes gently. “I insist.”
His palm on the back of your head is steady, fingers rubbing the hair there, his other hand pinch his fabric shirt and tugs it up to press against your bleeding nose. ”Lord Phainon will be back soon, so rest assured. I truly apologize for my lack of manners today.”
It felt like a whole minute with you in close proximity with the Prince, then after that, when a servant came to tend to you—both prince Mydei and lord Phainon received an earful from the adults, to dare bring harm upon a young guest clergy from Janusopolis is an act of slander, they said to the young boys.
And you are no different as your father shakes his head at you, “you’re very lucky that they practiced with wooden swords, what were to happen if they were using actual weapons, what if it was a spear?”
You turn away, “I’m sorry, father—“
“That’s enough child. I should’ve known this would happen, especially with that curiosity of yours. I’ve told you time and time again to steer clear from training grounds, you are not fit for combat.” He pats your shoulder softly. “Come now, let’s not dawdle. We still have to visit the other cities.”
But father, it’s not mere curiosity. You wanted to combat but decide against it.
When you tag along with your father with flushed pink nose and defeated shoulders, you dare slip a glance from behind. Watching the young prince and the lord getting scolded.
But what you didn’t expect was Prince Mydeimos’ honey eyes already on you.
You turned away quickly and never looked back.
A week passes and your shame does not settle nor fade.
“Looks like you had quite a delightful time.” A throwaway comment from Anaxa, you don’t respond and he doesn’t even bother to look in your direction, flipping another scroll and perusing the text casually.
“What do I do, Anaxa, Hyacine?”
“What must you do?” Anaxa shoots you a puzzled look. “Bumping into Prince Mydeimos in Okhema is one in a million, and I am certain your father won’t take you back to Castrum Kremnos after that troubling incident.
“This is so unfair.” You bury your face onto your arms.
Your younger companion heartens over your shoulder, “Cheer up. I’m sure you’ll stumble into him eventually.” Hyacine smiles at you. “After all, Okhema is celebrating a festival. You never know.”
Your eyes gloss over the open window, from the distance you hear the alluring instruments hither thither in gracious waves, the warm winds gossip, the furors of the crowd echo, the clinking of wine and your companions’ soft murmurs from behind you. You lean your cheek against your arm, watching the sky like a meadow of blues.
Distracted, you don’t notice someone approaching until you see a hand come over your vision.
Your eyes flutter, tracing the calloused palm down the arm before meeting the face.
Honey eyes greet you back.
You jolt, Prince Mydeimos.
He sees the recognition spark in your eyes and he smiles, “So it was you.” He lowers his hand, tugging his cloak. “I thought I recognized someone familiar on the window, it’s nice to see you again!”
“Prin…Prince Mydeimos.” You've straightened now. “What are you doing here?”
Your heart seizes when you watch him lean close to you, his dimples are prominent from here, like an intentional dip on a carved marble. He presses a finger to his lips, his boyish grin almost contagious.
“I sneaked away.” He rasps. “It’s a little stiff to have servants follow you around in Okhema’s festival.”
“Oh, I see.” Your eyes fleet. It seems like it has caught the attention of your companions, for the young priestess and sage are now leaning against the wall beside the window, out of view from Mydeimos.
The prince places a hand on the windowsill. “Do you want to come with me?”
Your lips part. “Come with you?”
“Yes. I uhm.” Mydei turns away, then looks back at you. “I want to make it up to you, for what happened last week.”
“There’s no need for that, prince. I’m perfectly okay now and it’s my fault you and the lord got into trouble.” Despite your incessant shakes, he combats it with stubbornness.
“I understand. But I still feel responsible for what has happened.” He tells you. “Then, if not to make up for it, just keep me company?”
“I’m not supposed to…” You hesitate.
But then you felt a foot tap your ankle. Your eyes flicker briefly towards Anaxa and Hyacine—one giving you an encouraging nod and the other had apathy in the face, but he tilts his head on the window as if beckoning you to go. You crack a smile then turn to Mydei and nod.
His smile widens, then he hoists you out of the window frame, strong arms around your torso. Your cheeks darken at his actions.
When the two of you walk down the street, you are splashed with the joyful spirit weaving through the festival. You don’t usually participate whenever these festivals happen, you have no one to go with you. You never wanted to bother your father with your trivial requests, and you had your own duties to finish that you don’t have time for leisure.
The prince tries to match your pace, shoulders barely touching but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. In fact, Mydeimos has been kind to you which was far from the confident boy who held a spear in the arena.
He treats you as if you are something to him—you immediately shake such thoughts from your head.
Mydei taps your shoulder, pulling you out of your daydreams. “Are you hungry?”
In the young prince’s hands were two figs. You graciously took one from him. “Thank you, Prince Mydeimos.”
The honeycomb in his eyes softened. “Please just call me Mydei.” The fruit is brought to his lips, a crunch resounds when he takes a big bite.
During that time, under the golden festival hue—Mydeimos appeared like a brilliant child, the spirit still flickering a candle in his eyes and the looks he gave you, they were so undeniably soft. You both stopped at small stands, lingered at performances and smiled at the musicians playing instruments—all the while the prince made sure you were entertained and satiated with food; soft bread, cakes, olives. He even goes on a tangent when you had said you never tried specific meat before—those that were exclusive to the high and wealthy.
The prince would take each meat from the table, cupping a hand beneath your chin when you take a bite out of his portion.
You perk up. “It’s good.”
“Right?” Mydei laughs. “This one’s my favorite. We usually only have these in Kremnos during—“
“Are you eloping, my dear prince?”
Your attention is dragged to the owner of the quip. Lord Phainon appears from the thick of the crowd, and his teasing tone brings heat to your cheeks. Mydei scowls at his companion, “why are you here?”
Phainon greets you by ruffling your hair, “have you even an inkling of remorse for your pitiful servants?” His ocean blue eyes aren’t laughing despite his smile. “They’ve been looking for you for an hour or two, to the point it’s starting to spin into a commotion on the festival streets.”
This prompts Mydei to sigh. “Those fellows…”
A flute and strings draws their attention. Suddenly the crowd erupts into cheers, some step forth, dancing on the streets. You can feel Mydei’s eyes on you, then flickering to Phainon.
Maybe it was the expression on the prince’s face that Phainon let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll deal with your servants. You have an hour.”
“That’s all that I need.” Mydei smiles when Phainon turns on his heel to leave. “I owe you, my friend.”
“It’s nothing.” Phainon’s eyes flutter over to you, and his gentle smile returns, mouthing a take care of him before tugging on his hood and disappearing. At that time, you didn’t really know what the young lord meant with that.
And you didn’t have time to ponder, Mydei’s large hand is inching over yours, his fingertips brushing your skin. You look over to him and he asks, “do you know how to dance?”
You barely remembered what you responded back. The prince’s hands have captured your own, more of a soft caress than a hold before slowly pulling you onto the streets and the flurry of dancing citizens. The outside lights careens into the expression on his face when he tells you to dance with him.
You both circle each other and you watch his footwork—sidestepping, bouncing back then spinning—Mydei’s hand is not far from yours, and he pulls you into his dance, a palm seeking refuge on your torso and the other securing your hand, he spins you around and you cannot help the bubble of a laugh from slipping from your lips.
Between the flurries and the crowds there was nothing but you and the prince, everyone else was barely a splotch of watercolor on canvas.
An hour burns through quickly when you’re having fun. The sky began to dim and the festival had hushed, when his servants finally found him and he got in the carriage, he pops his head out the window, calling your name before you can leave.
You seek the honey in his eyes once again, and he leans into his open palm, “visit Castrum Kremnos sometimes.” Mydei grins. “It's a bore to always spend time sparring with Phainon and he’s not a great dancer like you are.
You mirror his grin with your own. “If this is what my prince wants, then I’ll obey.”
The brightened smile that Mydei gave you felt like he had shaved a piece of the sun and reflected it on his own expression. “See you.”
“Goodbye, Kremnos’ prince.”
That expression of his had engraved into your membrane as years shuffle and roll, it’s the exact same face he shows you when you finally visit him—not as a clergy guest of the city but Prince Mydeimos’ guest.
So it's very hard for you to believe in those rumours, rumours that stated that Castrum Kremnos’ hero had gone manic—the same as when the heretical black tide came and made the titans mad. It’s just difficult.
You’re aware that war and battles change a person. It came to make their blooming heart wither into a wasteland, but you know Mydeimos for so long.
You knew him as his childhood friend, as someone who had admired him and his heart for years on end—you never believed rumours about him and if it were true, you wanted to make your own judgement and witness it for yourself.
So when talks of Mydei’s arrival from the battlefield reached your ears, you did not hesitate to start packing for the trip.
Your journey to Kremnos was hasty. You had ignored the rebuttals your father threw at you and got on the carriage. As years passed, so did Castrum Kremnos. It did not beguile a glow like it used to, but your mind’s a raging storm. Your pace is impatient as you run down the corridors of the familiar city.
The sound of the steel sword would indicate where he was since you are aware of his duties to fight—and it is said that crown prince Mydeimos is usually seen spending his leisure on swordsmanship, alone.
Your hand is pressed against the olive tree bark, heaving heavy breaths as your eyes land on Mydeimos’ back, his muscles and sinews are hardened under the reddish hue of sunset, flexing as he moves his sword to cut the air. You barely notice the look on his eyes as well, gone were his large honey pupils and chub on his cheeks, now his gaze has sharpened into resin, narrowed with furrowed brows. He’s no longer as talkative or carefree as back then.
You take a step closer and flinch when Mydeimos turns to your direction, the sword lands heavy above your shoulders, almost grazing your cheek and ears.
The air hangs heavy with tension.
“It’s me, Mydei.”
At the sound of your voice, the prince wavers. The sword is immediately retracted and his heavy heaves are all that fills the air between you two.
“You…” Mydei runs his fingers through his wet hair. “You really do have the habit of just wandering into the practice grounds like this.”
You look away. “I’ll try not to next time.” You were just a little worried about him today.
When you feel a fingertip running down your jaw, you turn back to him.
Mydeimos’ eyes land on something on your face, his frown deepening. “There’s a cut.” He tells you. is there?
You cannot help the slight sting or wince when he presses the wound. At your reaction, he tries to pull away but your hands are quick to capture it, placing his calloused palms back on your cheeks.
“It’s okay.” You tell him but he’s noiseless.
Instead he tilts your head sideways, then leans down. His rough lips on your cheek is all you feel and you’re engulfed in Mydei’s scent of bonfire and wood and smoke.
“I’m sorry.” He murmurs, pressing another kiss to your other cheek and you told him it was fine. His head lands heavy on your shoulder so you don’t dare ask him how he’s been or how the battlefield was—you doubt he’d want to answer it right now.
“Will you stay for a bit?” He’d ask you and in response you’d embrace him.
“For as long as you wish.”
He pushes a bit. “Will you be by my side then?”
“If you command it, I will.”
Silence.
“Stay with me today?” Mydei adds. “Please?”
For a moment, Phainon’s words are on your ears: take care of him.
You tug him back and hold his cheeks on your palms, your eyes dissect his every fold and dip in expression, the downcasted frown and tired eyes. You give him a bright smile—a smile that flickers a glow on his honey pupils—then rest your forehead against his own.
“I’m here for as long as I live.” You murmur sweetly. “Even if it’s just us left, I’ll be with you.” because I love you, Mydei. For everything that I have.
You don’t announce it, but Mydei’s expression seems to shift when he gazes into your eyes, like he’d read the words written in them.
And holding him like this, you prayed to yourself—to wish nothing but endless glory and victory to Mydeimos for all the tragedies he’d witnessed.
You are not skilled in combat, but you’d hope your support and embraces can heal his wounds just as much. But when Mydei leans forward and presses another kiss on your forehead and two cheeks, your skin is matted and sun-kissed at the trail of his lips. It’s as if he’s telling you that yes, you’re healing him, you’re making him happy.
And you smile at the manner.
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lilliryth · 2 years ago
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I’m actually not unhappy. Not really, not as a person. It’s just that I can’t touch happiness. I can say without faking that I believe life can be a party, but if that’s what it is, then I’m a drifter, always in the corners. It isn’t chemical, for me. And I’m not bragging, I know I’m privileged in saying so. But I only wish this wasn’t all there is for me. I’d like to know what living feels like.
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bitch-butter · 2 years ago
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5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?
I'll write just about anything at this point (i wrote american whore so why not lol) but both the Dirty Dancing au and the Disaster Gays web backstory fic are ideas I've Played with but prob won't pursue. DD bc I think it's just more fun as an idea, and web backstory bc the portions that do exist I think are too dark to find a real audience lol
Thank you for asking ~ 🖤
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gurugirl · 7 months ago
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Use Me Up | boyfriend's best friend!h
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Originally posted on Patreon!
Summary: Harry's your boyfriend's best friend and he's very hard to resist.
Word Count: 7,072
Warning: smut, cheating, lying, alcohol consumption
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Look at him. Dark curls, soft green eyes, broad shoulders. All fit and tattooed with that dirty smirk aimed in your direction. It’d been like that all night. When no one was looking his eyes were on you.
Harry Styles. The object of desire for so many women. But the problem for you was that he was your boyfriend’s best friend. You should have been off-limits. He shouldn’t have even been taking part in your daydreams.
You rolled your eyes at him as Colin knocked his beer over.
Everyone had a couple too many drinks at that point. Your boyfriend, the worst off.
“Here,” you leaned down and righted the spilled can to halt the beer from pouring out.
Colin fell back into the couch and laughed as you got up to take the nearly empty can to the trash.
“Hey! I wasn’t done with that!”
“I actually think it’s time for a little water,” you countered.
Walking into the kitchen you took a breath and grabbed two cups for water. You needed some as well. You’d been hitting the strawberry lime seltzers kind of hard since you arrived at Ivy’s and you were feeling the alcohol.
“Need help?”
You turned to look over your shoulder as you shut off the faucet.
“I’m pretty sure I can handle this,” you laughed as you raised your hands, a cup of water in each.
Harry reached into the fridge to grab himself another beer, “All right. Was just being nice. You done drinking for the night?”
“Probably. Colin is for sure done. Gonna have to carry him home I think.”
“I’ll help you. I can tell he’s well past his limit. There’s no way you’re going to have an easy go of it with him. He’s like Gumby when he gets drunk.”
You laughed and Harry licked his lips as he watched you. You hated (but you loved it) when he licked his lips while he was looking at you. It elicited memories of the not-so-long-ago past.
. .
You arrived at Colin’s a little early but you knew Harry’d be there and he’d let you in until Colin showed up.
He got you a soda from the fridge and you both went into the living room where he showed you their new record player.
“It’s got great sound and check this out,” he pulled out an album and placed it over the turntable showing you how the tone arm lowered automatically and cycled the vinyl around to the perfect spot to begin at the first song.
“Oh, that’s cool!” You watched as he clicked a button and sound started playing through the speakers. It was an old popular 70s rock song, “The sound quality really is good.”
He snapped his fingers and began to move his hips as he grinned at you so you placed your soda down and mimicked him, swaying and laughing as you snapped your fingers.
Behind Harry’s grin, you saw something else. The way he licked his lips, his eyes traveled over your curves, and he slunk in closer as he moved to the music- it held some kind of intensity that you weren’t sure how to work out. One thing was for sure; Harry was a flirt and your boyfriend was not home.
“You’re cute,” Harry said it so flippantly as he jutted his chin up and kept his eyes on yours.
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, “Yeah right…”
But he did this thing that had you feeling a slurry of scorching lava under your fingertips as he bit into his bottom lip with his eyelids drooped gently, pupils winding over your hips while you continued to move and he pulled your hand into his, redirecting your flow until you were practically dancing in his arms.
“You know you’re cute. What are you doing dating Colin anyway?”
His hand wound over your hip as he kept his eyes on yours.
“I…” you laughed and shook your head. You weren’t sure what he was doing but it had you reeling. His heavy presence and deep voice, the music lulling you into surrender, his pretty bright eyes, that evil grin… It definitely wasn’t the first time he’d flirted with you in private.
“You’re too good for him, Y/n,” he spoke smoothly, his face nearing yours and his voice dripping with lusty deception.
“I doubt that, Harry,” you spoke just above a whisper as he slithered around you until his hands were holding your hips and your back was against his chest. You knew it was wrong. You knew you should have stopped but you didn’t want to.
And when you felt his breath on the back of your ear and he pressed his hips against your bum you softly gasped but made no move to stop him. He was too close and his lips were practically brushing against the shell of your ear as he kept swaying you in step with his movements, hips glued to your backside, and then he moaned. The sound vibrating off your neck and making goosebumps rise up on your skin.
You closed your eyes and settled your hands over his when he let out another graveled moan into your ear, “You like this don’t you? Need more attention from Colin than he can give you…”
It was true. You were a bit needy while Colin was a bit cold, aloof. But it’d always been that way with you two and you’d settled and gotten used to the way he was. However, that didn’t mean you didn’t miss attention. And Harry was suddenly filling in the small gaps left behind from Colin’s apathy.
But the moment you heard the keys in the door, Harry moved away from you just as deftly as he’d pulled you against his chest and acted like nothing had happened. 
. .
You forced Colin to drink his whole cup of water and by the time he’d finished he was already half asleep. It was time to go and Harry accompanied you.
“You don’t have to help,” you said as the three of you climbed into the back of a taxi together.
“Look at him, Y/n. What makes you think he’s gonna be able to walk to the door on his own? You certainly can’t carry him. Besides, I live at the same house and it was time for me to go as well. Saves us money anyway, yeah?”
You nodded. He had a point you supposed.
You were smushed between Harry and Colin in the backseat. Colin was like a limp noodle against you while Harry was warm and solid and somehow he took up so much more space than you imagined he would.
“You’re gonna stay over, right?” Harry looked down at you.
“I figured I would, yeah. It’s not a problem?”
Harry chuckled and looked out his window before putting his big palm over his thigh, knocking against your knee, “Of course it’s not a problem. I love it when you’re over.”
You couldn’t take your eyes off his pinky finger which was nudged against your jeans. You weren’t sure if he was doing it on purpose or if it was just because the space was so tight but you certainly didn’t mind it. Looking over at your boyfriend his mouth was dropped open and his eyes were closed. Out cold.
“He’s not waking up for the rest of the night,” Harry spoke quietly, his lips aimed toward your ear.
You gulped when Harry shifted the slightest, pressing his side into yours, and began moving his hand over his jeans-clad thigh, his pinky brushing over your own jeans-clad thigh.
When you arrived at the house, Harry pulled Colin out of the backseat and lifted him into his arms bridal style. You laughed at the sight and followed the men toward the door.
“Keys are in my front left pocket,” Harry said as he jutted his hips out and looked at you with a smirk.
You sighed and slid your fingers into his pocket, which was a bit tight, but you pushed in until you felt the metal and looped your finger into one of the key rings to pull at it.
Harry sucked in a breath through his teeth, “There you go, Y/n. Just like that.” Harry said it as if you were doing something naughty to him.
Unlocking the door you stepped in and held it open for Harry, who walked past you and took his best friend to his bed, laying his head on the pillow and then removed his boots. You watched from the doorway of Colin’s room as Harry took care of him, light shining into his room from the hallway.
Harry grunted when he pulled the last boot off and then got up to leave the room, closing the door behind himself.
You pointed toward the doorknob, “I’m probably just gonna call it a night actually.”
Harry pressed his lips together, hiding the grin that was trying to take over his features, “Nahh… stay up a little longer with me. Don’t go to bed yet.”
It was a terrible idea. You weren’t being forced to follow him away from Colin’s room. You weren’t being manipulated or deceived. You were curious, though. Wondered what might happen if given the chance.
You both had a bottle of water as you sat on the stool near the record player and Harry sat on the couch across from you, his legs spread apart.
“Why you all the way over there?” He licked his goddamn lips again as he looked at you with what could only be described as bedroom eyes; that half-lidded, sultry gaze.
 “I don’t know. I just sat here is all,” you shrugged and capped your water bottle before placing it on the floor by your feet.
“You got work tomorrow?” He asked as he crossed an ankle over his knee before his ring-clad fingers ran up and down his thick thighs.
“No. I don’t work Sundays. What about you?” You already knew the answer.
“Nope. Means we can stay up as late as we want. Colin won’t wake up til afternoon anyway. When he gets like this he’s a log.”
You laughed and nodded, “Yeah. I’ve seen him like this a few times. You’re right.”
“Why don’t you put a record on,” he gestured toward the turn table next to you.
You squatted down to go through the records, tracing your fingers over the dust jackets until you found one that had a mix of popular 70s songs, “You guys have a lot of 70s music.”
Harry crouched down next to you to see which album you were looking at, “S’cause these are all used and plus 70s music is pretty good, yeah?” He grinned at you, taking the record from your hands and stood up, “Want this one?”
You nodded and watched him put the vinyl on the record player and then hit the button for the music to begin. The song that started to play sounded like something instrumental at first but then you heard the first line Got a black magic woman…
Harry turned to look down at you and began bobbing his head and rolling his shoulders, moving to the music. You laughed at him. He was being a little goofy with his movements but the dimpled grin on his face was evidence that he was trying to make you laugh. You swung your arms then raised them over your head and spun around with your hips swaying.
You and Harry kept moving to the song and then he was behind you, singing the words to the song when you felt him moving in step with you, “She’s tryin’ to make a devil out of me… Don’t turn your back on me baby…”
You laughed as he sang just loud enough for you to hear his raspy voice in your ear.
“Is my singing funny to you,” you felt his hand on your arm, nudging you back toward him.
You turned to look back at him over your shoulder, “You’re just funny, Harry. You’re being goofy.”
“Oh yeah? You think I’m goofy?” He held your arm as he pressed his chest into your back and continued singing, “Stop messin’ ‘round with your tricks…Don’t turn your back on me, baby… You just might pick up my magic sticks…”
You moved with the music and couldn’t help the cheesy grin on your face as he brought a hand down to your hip while his other stayed wrapped around your upper arm.
He sang his breathy words into your ear and it made your skin to heat but the way he was holding you against his body had your resolve crumbling. Not that you had much resolve to begin with.
“Yes, you got your spell on me, baby… Turnin’ my heart into stone… I need you so bad magic woman, I can’t leave you alone…”
You moaned, the top row of your teeth jammed into your bottom lips and he squeezed at your hip as his lips grazed against your ear.
You knew this would happen. When you were looking through the albums you wondered if he’d get up and dance with you. If he’d pull you into his arms and seduce you like he nearly did that time before. Or any of the other times he flirted with you or touched your skin, or whispered compliments into your ear when Colin wasn’t paying attention. There was only so much a girl could take when a man like Harry was coming on to her.
And who would ever know?
You raised your arms and drew your hands to the back of his neck as he continued swaying you in his arms, his crotch glued to your bum and you felt every bit of him pressed into you. His hot exhale on your neck was damp on your skin just before his pink lips found your flesh.
It sent a crackle of electricity through your spine as he began to kiss your soft skin slowly and when the song changed you found yourself being turned in his arms, all blurry and hot and thirsting when you felt his mouth smeared against yours.
He cradled the back of your head as his lips pressed plush kisses to your mouth and then his tongue slid over yours.
You’d stopped moving altogether and instead just stood next to the record player as the music played and you made out with Harry. If Colin walked in you didn’t know if you’d be able to even stop then. Harry’s lips and his tongue and his hands were rewiring your brain chemistry and all you wanted was him.
A cracked moan fell from your chest as Harry pulled away, his eyes locked on yours as he tugged at you, moving you toward his bedroom.
The Bill Withers song was still playing in the background as you were led to his room.
I want to spread the news… That if it feels this good getting used… Oh, you just keep on using me… Until you use me up…
He shut his door and the sound of the song was muffled but when he put his hands on your hips and his soft lips found yours you grabbed his t-shirt and pulled at him until you were both on his bed, limbs tangled and mouths wound together.
He rolled to his back and pulled you over his legs so you were straddling his thighs on top of him as you kept kissing and groaning into his mouth.
You could feel how hard he was in his jeans as you rolled your pelvis gently down and he hissed, “Keep doing that and I’m not gonna be able to stop, Y/n.”
You laughed into his mouth and pulled away to look down at him, “What are we doing, Harry?”
He let out a breathy chuckle as he kept a hold of your hips, “We’re doing something very bad is what we’re doing.”
Biting your lip you looked at his kiss-swollen mouth and back into his eyes, “We shouldn’t though, right? This is bad.”
He licked his lips, “We shouldn’t. But who’s gonna stop us?” His big hands moved down to your thighs. “What if it’s just our little secret? No one has to know.”
You dropped your lips back down over his in an unspoken agreement. No one ever had to know. It’d be your dirty little secret. A naughty indulgence to never be spoken of again.
When you felt his fingers smooth up to the bottom hem of your shirt you felt him tugging it upward. Halting the movement of your mouth against his you sat up and shucked it from your torso. His hands immediately found your tits as you unhooked the back of your bra and the moment your nipples were bare to him he sat up, one arm winding around your low back as his hand cupped your fleshy breast and he ducked to pull it into his mouth.
Wet saliva coated each of your tits as Harry wove his mouth back and forth on your skin and your nipples. You slid your fingers into his hair and moaned as he leaned you back further until your back was on his mattress and he was hovering over you, undoing your jeans button.
You looked up at him and pulled at his t-shirt. You wanted to see more of him. You’d seen his bare chest before. You’d seen him in just running shorts a few times. The man was ungodly. Tattoos, chiseled pecs, and soft abs with masculine hair scattered over his chest. Strong arms that could crush and thighs that allowed him the sort of endurance you were sure would come in handy that very night. He was broad and dense, heavy and sexy as fuck.
When his skin was on view you ran your hands over his shoulders and down to his pecs as he began to undo his own jeans. You quickly pushed your fingers into your waistband and yanked your jeans down your legs until you were just left in stretchy red boyshorts.
Harry groaned and kicked his jeans off and then crawled back over you, carefully fitting himself between your thighs and laying his hips against yours, his hard cock, hidden by the thin layer of his boxers, rested over your pussy as he slowly rocked himself down. You lifted your hips upward to feel his girth and the heat of him between your legs.
Dry humping. You hadn’t done it since your first year of college. Guys tended to go right for getting naked and getting something wet as soon as possible.
Though, technically Harry was getting something wet. Between his tongue on your lips and your pussy secreting arousal with every nudge of his dick against your clit there was nothing dry about dry humping in that moment. Even his boxers were getting wet the longer you two went at it.
He began to move himself down your body, taking more time to lavish your breasts with his tongue and his lips before he licked into your belly button triggering a giggle to bubble out of your mouth. He placed his hands on your hips and dug his fingers under the elastic band at the top of your underwear and began to pull at them, to which you lifted your hips so he could tug them off.
Smoothing his big palms up the outside of your thighs to your hips he kept his eyes on the glistening space between your legs and puffed out a breath, “This is all mine tonight?” He looked up at you and it was dripping hedonistic lust as his thumbs slid down over the soft flesh of your pelvis.
You nodded and breathed out a yes before he slowly poked his tongue out to lick his lips and lowered his mouth to the space next to his thumb, a warm kiss smushed into your skin before it sliced a damp path inward to your mons. You were spinning and blubbering under him as he gripped onto the underside of your thigh and held you apart.
Your body was trembling before he even laid his tongue over your pussy but when he finally pressed a soft, barely-there kiss to your clit you could have just perished right then. You balled up the blanket under you in your fists as he began to run his tongue up and down your wet pussy.
You sputtered out a string of curses and rolled your hips up when he slid his fingers over your entrance and prodded in.
“Mmm…” he lifted his face to look up at you, “Y/n… you’re so wet for me. Gonna need to sneak tastes of your pussy anytime Colin isn’t around.”
You couldn’t respond other than to moan his name and thread your fingers into his hair when he reattached his lips.
There was something about the way Harry did it, the way he licked at your pussy and kissed your clit, the way he drove his fingers into your cunt and moaned over you that was so sultry and hungry… it was like he needed it, like he was desperate for it. For you.
The house was quiet. It was lucky Colin slept like the dead when he got drunk like that or you’d have to worry about him hearing. But as it was, Harry’s bedroom was filled with the sound of something lewd and wet and achy. Moans coming from you and from him, your pussy getting worked by his fingers and his mouth, the shift of bodies over blankets and the subtle creaking of his bed as he dug into your pussy with more fervor.
 And you really tried not thinking about the way Colin did it versus how Harry was doing it but you were amazed at what a little enthusiasm could feel like. Colin ate you out, sure, but it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t a man with a primal need to make you feel good and stake some kind of claim on you. Colin’s method was more like a means to an end. A way to get you nice and wet so he could stick his dick inside of you.
Harry’s method was an animalistic craving. He wasn’t eating you out nicely with a soft tongue and a few slurps. No. This was something else. He was devouring you. Sloppy and sopping. He dragged his tongue over you like it was his fucking job. The one arm he had wrapped around you, was anchoring you to his mouth. You couldn’t escape him if you wanted. This man wasn’t taking it easy. When he lifted you slightly, he scooted in closer and removed his fingers from your pussy and licked up the wet spots on your inner thighs and down your bum before he spread you back open with two of his fingers again and got back to ravaging your clit.
You had to release his hair and go back to gripping the blankets as you felt your body wash away into the atmosphere, floating and buzzing and melting as you lay helpless under his weight and his tongue.
You were certain it was going to be a mess when he was done with you. There wasn’t anything dry between your legs nor on his face. The heat and the moisture rose until there was nothing left for you to do but come. And come and come…
He had his fingers pressed into your front wall massaging your g-spot as he sucked and drew your clit into his mouth. You couldn’t stop shaking or crying for what felt like minutes upon minutes.
But then it was too much and you squeaked a laugh as you tried lifting and pulling away but when you pushed at his forehead he swatted you away and grunted, not letting up on the doggish way he was eating you.
“Oh my god! Fuck, Harry!” You bellowed into his room and tried closing your legs and moving to roll to your side but he had you pinned down and it seemed only to egg him on. His eyes flitted up to yours and in warning to keep still, not that you had much choice. He wasn’t budging nor letting you pull away from his mouth as he continued fucking you with those long fingers and lapping all around your hot, pulsing clit.
But then you saw the slight smirk as he lifted for air before he dove down again and slid his tongue quickly over your clit and the sensitive, too-much feeling turned into a liquid ache and then desire as you felt you second orgasm begin to prick and burst until it was forced out of you like a torture method. Come or else…
So you came again. Not against your will but not by your own accord. It was automatic. You couldn’t stop it from happening.
You were drifting into the ether when he finally, fucking finally, pulled his mouth and his fingers away. When you opened your eyes he was smirking down at you, like he was proud of the state he’d left you in.
“What?” You croaked out as your chest heaved violently.
“I’m serious. Gonna need to do that to you as often as possible. Whenever Colin’s not looking. Damn you’re hot, Y/n. Fuck…” he ran his hands over your sides and up your torso to your nipples where he circled over them with his thumbs, “Wish I’d gotten to you first.”
You pushed yourself to sit up, “You… he’s your best friend, though. I mean… I just think…” you huffed, not fully having your wits about you after what he’d just done to you, “God… I wouldn’t be able to say no, but this is bad, Harry. Don’t you think this should be a one-time thing? Like, we should never do this again, right?”
You watched him lick his lips and swallow and that’s when you noticed he had your arousal down his neck. The guy had gone in so intensely on your pussy that you dripped down his neck. You supposed he had reason to be proud.
“We’ll see, won’t we? I’m not a great friend, I’ll admit. But you’re not a great girlfriend either are you? Doing this behind his back the way we are… it’s bad, but fuck if I don’t want to steal you away from him.”
You puffed a laugh through your nose and ran a hand over your face. You couldn’t believe you were cheating in the first place. It was insane. You weren’t a cheater.
But actually… you were a cheater. You were lying in your boyfriend’s best friend’s bed completely naked and freshly zonked from two orgasms. You were absolutely a cheater.
Harry pulled at your thigh, dragging you closer to him and he cradled the back of your head with his hand and kissed you so deeply you nearly forgot Colin’s name for a moment. You could feel his erection, stiff and hot against your inner thigh and you were compelled to run your hand over his boxers to grip him and feel it in your hand.
You gasped into his mouth and parted from the kiss to look down at the monster you were holding in your palm. Looking back up at Harry with your lips parted in lust you were suddenly hyper-aware that the man you were in bed with was going to fuck you with that thing and if he was as good with his cock as he was with his mouth… you were surely doomed.
“What is it?” He asked you with hooded eyes and a syrupy, deep, lusty voice. He knew what it was. The man was more than aware of the kind of advantage he had in that area.
You squeezed around him let your palm travel up the length of it over his boxers and pressed over his tip, “Let me see it.”
He grinned at you silently as he pulled at his boxers and brought them down, his thick shaft lobbing out, heavy and stiff. You let out a moan and moved back, getting to your knees and holding him at the root against his pubic hair before tonguing over him and drawing your saliva down the length of him.
Harry hissed as he leaned back, palms flat against his mattress as he watched you suck on him for a moment, lips working over his tip and wetting him with your spit. You moaned again and pulled off of him, “God, Harry. Fuck…”
He held the back of your head as you dipped down again and took him in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him and gorging on the taste and feel of him. It was smooth and hot against your tongue. He was wide, bulbous. But you couldn’t help the way just the look and feel of his cock had your already weeping pussy flutter and clench at the thought of him driving into you with it.
“You like that, don’t you? God, you’re supposed to mine, Y/n. Oh fuck that feels good…”
Your insides were feeling too hollow, your walls straining together to feel something that would take up the empty space. You popped off of his tip, saliva dripping down your chin, “Fuck me. Please.”
Harry tilted his head to the side, “Already? You don’t need a minute to recover? You that greedy, baby?”
“I am right now,” you pulled at his boxers to get rid of them. Harry put his hands into the band of his underwear and took them off completely.
“Just right now? So tomorrow we’ll go back to normal then,” he crawled over you, making your back hit the mattress as his hand found your tit, “Pretend this never happened and never do it again, yeah?”
You panted and reached around his back to pull him down, “I don’t know…” you whined and bucked your hips up, “Just… right now is all I can think about. Please…”
“A bit cockdumb huh? You’re not thinking straight, are you?”
You scrunched your face and pouted, “What? Just fuck me, Harry!”
He grinned at you and shook his head in disbelief, “No condom then?”
You’d forgotten. You were always so good about using condoms and being the one on top of that decision with Colin. Only a few times did you ever let him fuck you without one and it was only when you were 100% sure it was not during your fertile window and he wasn’t allowed to come inside you anyway.
“Fuck…” you breathed out and whined as you raised your hips upward, pressing your wet pussy against his cock, “Just fuck me. I don’t even care right now. I’m gonna lose my mind…”
Harry grabbed your chin and his eyes pierced into you as he spoke, “Are you on birth control?”
You shook your head, “No. But… god…” you writhed under him.
Harry let out a burst of a laugh, still shaking his head, “Damn. Did I do this to you? Baby you’re gonna regret it if you let me fuck you raw. That’s asking for trouble.”
“Just… goddamnit…” you closed your eyes and groaned. You wanted him right then. You were sure you’d never acted like such a slut before but Harry’s body and his deep voice, his eyes, the way the front of his thighs were pressed into the back of yours… He could just slip right in and pound away and you’d feel all of him. Every ridge and wrinkle, hot velvet gliding through your gummy channel, drinking him in…
When you raised your hips again, your eyes on his he nudged himself down toward you, his cock sliding through your pussylips, slicking up and down and jabbing at your clit you clung to his back tight.
“You want it? Like this?” He placed his forearm down on the bed alongside your shoulder as he rocked down over you, his tip traveling over your pussy and getting drenched in your juice.
“Mmm… Harry… yes…”
He softly kissed your lips as he rutted up and slid back, “You’re gonna let me fuck you bare? In this bedroom right here, next to your boyfriend’s? You sure?”
You nodded, your nose bumping against his as you breathed out the word please.
He parted from the kiss and set his eyes on yours as he flexed his thighs and poked at your hole gently with his tip. He teased you for a bit, only gently pressing just the very tip of himself into you until suddenly and all once he forced his crown through your tight, pulsing muscle, opening you up and burying himself in until his balls were tucked against your ass.
You both let out a loud and pathetic mewl at the sensation and you could feel him shaking already. It was decadent and rude and sumptuous and unbearable. It was so wrong. So bad but so fucking delightful.
He began to slowly thrust as he kept his gaze pinned to yours, “Okay? Feel good?”
You moaned as you nodded and kept a tight grasp on his back, wrapping your legs around him so you could keep yourself grounded. So that you knew it was real. That Harry was actually fucking you with his big cock and you weren’t just dreaming it.
“Yeah? Feel all of me like this, don’t you? Needed me so bad and now you’ve got me, baby. Gonna give you my cock whenever you want it. Sneak around behind Colin’s back and keep it secret. He’ll never know. Could fuck you all night and all morning and he’ll wake up tomorrow with no idea of the filthy kind of girl you are.”
“Mmmm… fuck!” You whined as he plunged deep inside your guts. You’d never had anyone so thick and long before. And it was just a bonus that it was attached to a man like Harry. It shouldn’t have surprised you that someone with the kind of confidence he had would be so hung.
“Mmmm… fuck is right… that feels so fucking good. I had a feeling your pussy would be made for me,” he panted his words as he worked into you, thighs flexing against yours.
Your noises were uncontrollable. You had no ability to restrain yourself. You truly were intoxicated, incapacitated, obtunded. Delirious. Which Harry seemed to get a kick out of.
“You’ve never had it like this before, have you? I know what you had to deal with,” he gasped when you gripped tight around and dug your nails into his back, “Colin’s a lazy boyfriend. You need more attention and I can see that. Gonna give you all the attention you can handle if you want it, Y/n…”
Harry pulled back, making your legs fall from his back as he lowered his lips to your tits, curling himself over you as he continued fucking into you, sucking your nipples into his mouth and running his tongue over your sensitive nubs one at a time.
It was debauched gluttony. Harry was so much better in bed than Colin and it almost wasn’t fair. But you couldn’t even feel an ounce of guilt because it was the best thing you’d ever felt. Harry sucked your nipples hard as his cock wrecked your insides, running his hand along the outside of your soft breast and then to the other side, continuing the pace at which he rocked into you. His bed only creaked in time with his thrusts, slow and steady, but the sound of your sodden pussy taking his big cock was salacious and lewd.
Every stroke of his long dick through your pussy walls felt like damnation and salvation all at once. You weren’t sure you’d be the same after. Weren’t sure you wouldn’t be begging him for more every time Colin wasn’t watching. Harry had ruined you.
Harry’s gasps and pants against your tits grew more desperate and you could feel him throbbing inside of you, nudging deep into your tummy and slowly rearing back, his cock coated and sticky with you before plunging it all back inside of you again.
He steadied himself, lifting up to look down at you as he began to fuck into you a little harder, his bed bouncing a little more with the sound of skin slapping together and your punched moans filled the room.
Every time he buried himself in he ground his pelvis against your clit and it sent fireworks through your nervous system. You grabbed onto his thighs as he rutted into you, deep and desperate strokes that split you wide open and made you drool it felt so good. Harry’s chest was sweating as he held your hips down and circled his groin against you, his moans growing louder and whinier as he watched you slowly come undone.
“Give me another one, baby. Show me how good it feels when I fuck you. Better than it’s ever felt with anyone else…”
Harry had something to prove.
You could hardly think straight. The man was fucking out any logic or sense in your brain but you didn’t want to have rational thoughts that interrupted what was happening. You wanted Harry and his cock. You wanted to be fucked by him just like he was for all time. To hell with Colin and his sorry excuse for lovemaking. Harry was a real man with pleasure to give.
The breath was kicked from your lungs when the tight coil in your tummy began to unravel and the yummiest, most transcendent orgasm you’d ever experienced began to take over. The only thing you registered was Harry’s cock pounding into you and words of encouragement egging you on as the mattress squeaked violently under you. His words were unclear but you could hear the starved and whimpery moans falling from his mouth between words.
You trembled and quaked as you spasmed over him, the glide of his heavy cock through your guts squelched and ached as you gasped for air and finally began to discern what was happening when Harry frantically pulled his cock from your pussy and climbed over you, taking your face in his hand and dipped his pussy flavored dick into your lips where you felt him pumping warm, creamy come down your throat and onto your tongue. You grabbed onto his ass with both hands and pulled at him, beckoning him to stuff his whole fat cock into your esophagus.
The grunts and moans he let fall from his chest were the sexiest thing you’d ever heard from any man. Colin wasn’t vocal at all. When Colin came he’d pinch his face up like he was in pain or disgusted by the flavor of something and silently sigh with his mouth open.
But Harry… Harry wasn’t holding back. He was moaning as he thrust his cock into your mouth and slapped his hand on the headboard to steady himself, “Fuck…”
When you’d siphoned every drop from him, he gently pulled his meaty cock from your mouth and you coughed, gasping for air. Harry laid himself on the bed next to you and cupped your cheek, “You all right,” he panted.
You moaned and wiped the back of your hand over your mouth and rolled to face him, “Yeah I’m all right. Better than all right I’d say.”
Harry laughed, moving his hand from your face and fondled your breast in his palm, smushing at it and thumbing over your nipple, “You down to keep doing this with me?”
You sighed and ran your tongue along the inside of your cheek as you placed your palm on his chest, “I’m pretty sure I’ll be craving that from now on.”
He grinned, “Be craving what?”
“You. The way you do it. I…” you laughed, “I’ve never come three times in a row like that for any man.”
“So you want me to give you lots of cummies?” He snorted a laugh, “Need me to take care of you when Colin can’t.”
“When you say it like that… god it sounds so bad doesn’t it?”
“It is bad, Y/n. We are two very bad people who just did something very awful to someone. But I certainly don’t want to stop.”
“I mean… I don’t know if I can stop now. That was…”
“The best.”
You nodded. It was the best. And you knew you’d have regrets and the guilt would come at some point. But in that moment after being expertly fucked and properly taken care of you could think of nothing better than to do it again and again and again. As often as you could get away with it.
“How long do you think we can keep doing this? Like we’ll have to be lying all the time and sneaking around.”
“If we’re quiet and sneaky enough, as long as we want.”
You bit into your bottom lip and giggled, “That was a smart move. Not coming inside of me. Was gonna let you, ya know.”
Harry sat up with a smirk, “I know you were gonna. But I think fucking my best friend’s girl raw is quite enough mistakes for one night. As much as I wanted to fill you up we’ll have to save that one for a rainy day.”
You sat up with him, clothes all strewn about on the floor and at the foot of his bed, “A rainy day, huh? I’ll keep that in mind.”
Harry pinched your thigh before hopping off the bed out of your reach with a laugh, “And I think it’s only fair that you sleep in here with me tonight,” he slid his boxers up his legs, “Colin’s not gonna wake up until late so we’ll have plenty of time before he’s conscious.”
Harry tossed you his t-shirt and you pulled it over your head, “Why’s that only fair?”
Harry shrugged, “Cause I like to cuddle and Colin’s passed out so might as well let me have some since I probably won’t get to do it very often.”
You slid off his bed and pulled your arms over his shoulders, “That’s kind of sweet, Harry.”
“So you’ll stay in here with me tonight?”
“Without a doubt.”
You were both so fucked.
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sheyfu · 7 months ago
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𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?
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— 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗋��� 𝖺𝗅!𝗂𝗍𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗂 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋
— 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇𝗏𝗂𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽’𝗌 𝗀𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝗒𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗂𝗄𝗍𝗈𝗄 𝗌𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝗐𝗂𝗌𝖾.
— 𝖼𝗐: 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 (𝖨𝖬 𝖲𝖮𝖱𝖱𝖱𝖸𝖸𝖸𝖸𝖸𝖸𝖸 😭😭😭😭); 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝗅𝗂𝖼𝗂𝗍 (?) 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 (𝗌𝖺𝖾’𝗌 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅 𝖿𝗋𝖿𝗋); 𝖻𝗋𝗈 𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗐𝗄 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗏𝖾 (𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖻𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽); 𝗁𝖾’𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗀𝗈 𝖻𝗅𝗎𝖾 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖽𝗋𝖺𝗀𝗈𝗇 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗀𝖺𝗆𝖾 (𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅); 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗌 (𝗅𝗈𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗅𝗒); 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗈𝖼 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝖾 𝖻𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝗆𝖺𝗇 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽 𝗆𝗁𝗆
— 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾: 𝗂 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗍 𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖧𝖨𝖴𝖠𝖥𝖲𝖠𝖥𝖩 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒𝗒𝗒!! 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗎 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇 𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖴𝖲𝖣𝖧 𝖧𝖮𝖯𝖤 𝖨 𝖣𝖤𝖫𝖨𝖵𝖤𝖱𝖤𝖣 𝖬𝖬𝖬𝖧𝖬𝖧𝖧𝖬𝖬; 𝖨 𝖧𝖮𝖯𝖤 𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖱𝖸𝖮𝖭𝖤 𝖤𝖭𝖩𝖮𝖸𝖲 𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖲 𝖳𝖮𝖮𝖮 <33333; 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋??; 𝗀𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝖻𝗒 @joeys-piano!! 𝖳𝖧𝖠𝖭𝖪 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖲𝖮 𝖬𝖴𝖢𝖧 𝖧𝖲𝖨𝖣𝖩𝖩; 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖽𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖫𝖬𝖠𝖮𝖮𝖮 𝗆𝗒 𝗀𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗋𝗋𝗋 🤞🤞🤞
𝗐𝖼: 700+
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the smell of pancakes and coffee wafts through the air as you cook breakfast. the morning sun hitting all the right spots in your home makes you feel relaxed and comforted—your unconscious humming being the proof of that. 
you fall into a state of peace and calm as you spoon pancake batter on the pan; its quiet sizzles distract you from all the stress you’ve been collecting from the past week.
and because of your good mood, the fluffiest and most perfect pancakes come out as you flip them; little dances being performed by you to celebrate your small achievement.
your serenity, however, is short-lived by loud and heavy footsteps rushing down the stairs.
“what the fuck is this?” a rough voice, laced with sleep, soon interrupts your quiet morning. 
so much for peace and quiet. 
sighing, you turn the stove off as you prepare to face the magenta-haired parasite you’ve been living with.
“oh me, oh my! looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of bed today. what’s got your lashes in a twist anyway?” you say as you turn around to face your one and only itoshi sae, who’s currently dressed in nothing but his boxers and a very noticeable scowl on his face. 
typical. 
“so? care to explain what this is?” his phone is suddenly shoved into your face in the midst of your daydreaming. you focus your eyes on the device, seeing an edit of a woman wearing sae’s jersey—arctic monkeys playing in the background.
hm? what’s this? another attention seeking who- wait. 
you bring your face closer to the phone, making sure what you’re seeing is true. 
holy shit is that me?!
“what the fuck…” you cover your mouth in disbelief. 
zoning in on the face in the edit, your suspicions are confirmed to be true, with the tags giving you that double confirmation you’re looking for.
“oh my god that is me…” slowly raising your head to look at your boyfriend, expecting him to still have that stupid scowl on his face, only to be met with a look of pure disgust and hints of jealousy on his face.
“oi! why the fuck are you lookin’ at me like that?” you say offended by just looking at his face.
“oh please!” his dramatic ass says as he removes the phone from your face. “just imagine having to see edits of your girlfriend on your fyp and people thirsting over her.” he says, closing and slamming his phone on the countertop. “even having the audacity to say shit like “oooo she’s so fuckin’ hot” or “the things i’d let her do to me” oh and even asking stupid questions like “can your boyfriend fight?” the man child says with a high-pitched mocking voice as he flails his arms around while rolling his eyes.
“like what the fuck. i mean, don’t get me wrong, hermosa. i know you’re hot as fuck but damn their comments are fuckin’ unnecessa-”
you cut his rant off by grabbing his cheeks and shutting him up with a kiss. you pull away moments after, laughing at his wide eyes and parted lips.
“don’t be so mad now, guapo. after all, it was your idea to invite me to the game.” you laugh, letting go of the man as you turn back to the stovetop. 
“oh and also,” looking back once more to face sae who’s now sporting a pout and furrowed eyebrows. “before acting all pissy, make sure to tone your voice down, yeah?” you snicker at his dumbfounded face. “could hear you giggling all the way down here.” his face flushes, possibly putting chigiri hyoma’s hair to shame.
wish i could’ve taken a picture of it. 
“shut up.” he says as he grabs his phone. “i’m breaking up with you.” grumbling, he proceeds to go back to your shared bedroom, stomping like a little child.
my dear sae. you’re so cute.
“yeah right. breakfast will be ready in a bit. also, you love me too much. pretty sure if you break up with me you’d waste your time re-watching my edits instead of playing soccer.” you say loudly, a teasing lilt to your voice. 
“shut up!” you hear your boyfriend shout from upstairs.
laughing at his antics, you shout an “i love you!” to him, only to be met with silence.
you shake your head, a smile growing on your face.  
and as you begin plating your food, you hear the same song faintly playing upstairs, and small, yet resounding giggles from your boyfriend.
he’s fuckin’ obsessed with me. 
you chuckle at the thought, going back to preparing breakfast with a big smile on your face.
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2K notes · View notes
ylangelegy · 2 months ago
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babe for the weekend ❄️ soonyoung x reader.
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Everybody thought that you and Kwon Soonyoung were a foregone conclusion, but then he had to go and change the ending. Six years after the breakup, he decides to come home for the holidays— and now, you’re stuck between your pride, his dreams, and the road not taken. ‘Tis the damn season, indeed.
୨ৎ pairing: dance studio ceo!soonyoung x lawyer!f!reader. ୨ৎ genre/warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, romance. alternate universe: non-idol. mentions of food, alcohol consumption, swearing/cussing. post-breakup dynamics and quarter-life crises. high school lovers to exes. law terms. spiteful reader. rated T for languages and themes. title and synopsis shamelessly reference taylor swift's t'is the damn season. ୨ৎ word count: 16.6k ୨ৎ footnotes: this is part of @camandemstudios's winter with you collaboration! ´◡` thank you so much for trusting me with soonyoung. also eternally grateful to @shinwonderful and @biniaiahs for beta reading. may revisit this to do edits in the future, but for now, we settle.
in the words of a, i am the 'harbringer of doom and angst.' happy holidays, everyone! + tag list in the comments.
⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ winter with you masterlist ┆ my masterlist ┆ the official babe for the weekend playlist.
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This has to be the universe’s idea of a joke. 
It’s like the time your professor refused to round up your grade in college and you almost got set back a semester. Or that one day at work, where the forecast said it would be sunny— only for you to get caught in a downpour on your way home. 
The universe had to be an aspiring amateur comedian, because why else would Kwon Soonyoung be in front of you right now? 
“What?” Soonyoung chirps. “No ‘hello’ for your favorite ex?” 
Six years. It’s been six years since you last saw each other, and those are the opening words he decides to go with. 
You’re torn between smacking him upside on the head and strangling him. Maybe both, you muse, as you survey the ways he’s changed over time. 
His hair is blonde now. His once-pale skin is a little more tan. And— as much as you loathe to admit it— he looks more fit. You can vaguely make out the muscles straining underneath his casual wear.
Dancer’s build, you begrudgingly concede.
When Soonyoung calls you out in a bid to snap you out of your daydream, you physically flinch. Your name still rolls right off his tongue like honey. You don’t have the right to call me that, a small, bitter voice says in the back of your mind. You don’t have the right to talk to me at all. 
“Hellooo,” he sing-songs, waving one of his palms inches away from your face. “Did you have a stroke or something?” 
That prompts you to speak.
After all that time, your first words to Soonyoung in six years are cold and curt: “Get out.” 
A corner of Soonyoung’s mouth twitches upward. The infuriating bastard. He probably anticipated a reaction like this from you. 
He straightens until he can shove his hands into the pockets of his winter coat. “I don’t see any signs that say I’m not allowed to be here,” he says. “Did I miss it?” 
He makes a whole show of looking around your family’s restaurant. A part of you is grateful that you’re the only one on today’s shift; your parents would’ve undoubtedly had over-the-top reactions to Soonyoung’s sudden reappearance. It’s only through years of conditioning that you’ve learned to keep your reactions under control, even when the world throws you curveballs such as these. 
Your expression is perfectly blank as you dryly note, “There’s a sign out on the front, actually.” 
“Oh? Really?” 
“Yeah. No strays allowed.” 
Soonyoung shakes his head. “Brutal,” he says, but there’s still that hint of a smile on his face.  
If you strained your ears, you might hear the trace of affection in his tone. The thought of it— of Soonyoung holding any sort of fondness for you— makes you want to scream. 
You manage to tamp that urge in favor of jerking your head towards the front door of the restaurant. “Out,” you repeat, your gaze briefly flickering to the CCTV in the corner of the store. 
Your father would probably kill you if he found out you were turning someone away. A supposed family friend, at that. But this wasn’t just a customer, and you weren’t sure if you could still call Soonyoung a friend, and it’s been six years, damn it.
“Is that any way to treat a customer?” Soonyoung goads.
“You’re not a customer.” 
“You haven’t given me the chance to be.” 
“That’s because you’re not welcome here.” 
“It’s pretty bad for business that—” 
That wasn’t going to fly. You weren’t about to take business advice from Kwon Soonyoung of all people. 
One minute, you’re behind the counter with your hands clenched into fists. The next, you’ve closed the space between you and Soonyoung. He falters as you approach, looking almost like he’s holding his breath. 
It’s not a slap that greets him. Most definitely not a hug, either. 
Instead, one of your hands dart out until you’ve got a firm grip on his ear.
Soonyoung is still taller than you, but he folds over at your rough tug. “Ow, ow, ow!” he screeches, his own hands flying out of his pockets in a futile attempt to either push you off or shield himself. 
In his split second of indecision, you manage to haul him back over to the entrance. Because you had been manning the fort, you hadn’t even noticed that it had started to snow. The first of the year. 
You don’t have the time to appreciate it. Your focus is entirely on channeling your energy to shove Soonyoung out of the restaurant. He stumbles out on the sidewalk where he rubs his offended ear with a scandalized expression on his face.
A lesser man might have snapped back, might have demanded an explanation for being manhandled so shamelessly. To your sheer annoyance, Soonyoung only laughs. 
It’s a full-bodied sound, one that practically bounces off the street. He laughs, and he laughs, and he laughs, clutching at his stomach like this is the funniest thing in the world. 
Remember how, earlier, you thought you might scream? Now, you truly almost do. Because the years have passed— but Soonyoung still laughs exactly the same. 
You don’t stick around to find out if you do end up yelling. Instead, you march right back into the restaurant with your chin jut up in a show of confidence. You can hear him trying to choke out words between his laughing fit, something akin to, “Hey, wait—,” but you’re not about to hear him out. 
Not today, not ever. 
It’s the most satisfying feeling in the world, getting to slam the door in his face. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“I got hungry.”
--
“ — tried to give me business advice! Me, business advice!” 
You punctuate your exclamation with a slap to your office table. Jihoon and Wonwoo are a little too familiar with your fits of passion to be surprised; Wonwoo barely looks up from his round of Block Blast, while Jihoon only shakes his head. 
“Sounds like something he would do,” Jihoon offers empathetically.
You lean back into your chair, your expression contorted into one of utter frustration. The three of you rarely meet in your office, but you had called a DEFCON 1 situation in light of recent events. Jihoon and Wonwoo lounged leisurely in front of you as you ranted your heart away for the past thirty or so minutes. 
“Who does he think he is?” you seethe. “Showing up here unannounced!” 
Wonwoo pipes up. “It wasn’t unannounced.”
Jihoon silences Wonwoo with a warning glare. You can only glance between the two boys before Jihoon heaves out a sigh and admits, “We knew that he was coming back to visit.” 
The look of betrayal on your face must be clear as day, because Wonwoo guiltily pauses his game to flash you a sheepish grin. “We met up with him— yesterday, was it?” 
Yesterday. “And you didn’t tell me?!” Your voice is a little shrill and a whole lot incredulous.
Ever the pragmatic one, Jihoon quips, “You’ve always said that you want nothing to do with him. I presumed that involved knowing whether or not he was coming home.”
Damn it. Jihoon got you there. 
You’re not sure what you would’ve even done, really, if you’d been given a heads up. Would you have boarded up the doors to your home? Would you have sought him out yourself in a prideful bid to maintain some twisted sort of upper hand? 
You’re still mulling it over when Wonwoo delicately says, “Look at the bright side. You probably won’t run into him again.”
Jihoon attempts to distract you by getting you to talk about your most recent client— a stubborn chicken shop significantly behind on mortgage payments. You give in, if only because you want so very badly to believe in Wonwoo’s words. 
--
You should’ve known better, really, because of course your friends would lie to you. 
That’s the only thought on your mind as you keep your eyes firmly ahead and away from the smirking blonde in your peripheral vision. Already, you’re contemplating the bodily harm you’ll cause Jihoon and Wonwoo for leaving out this vital piece of information. 
But you can’t be wrathful. Not in front of the kids. 
The gaggle of twenty-something elementary students sit cross-legged on the floor, their gazes all trained on the newcomer. They’re whispering excitedly among themselves, so much so that Teacher Kang has to clap more than thrice to recapture their attention. 
“Now, everyone,” Teacher Kang announces. “Do you remember what I said about having a very special guest for today?” 
A high-pitched chorus of “Yes, Teacher Kang,” resounds throughout the auditorium. 
“Very good. Can we please give a warm welcome to Teacher Kang’s friend, Soonyoung?” 
Soonyoung makes his way to the front of the gaggle with an easy grin and a relaxed gait, like he belongs here. And maybe a part of him does. This was his turf once, too. 
“‘Soonyoung’ is a bit long, isn’t it?” he says, speaking to both Teacher Kang and the kids in front of them. It’s a small grace that he isn’t calling you out just yet, though you wouldn’t put him past it. 
“Everybody!” Soonyoung proclaims. There’s a bit of a flourish in how he moves, how he looks down at the awe-stricken kids with a bright, wide smile. He puts up one hand to his face and bends his fingers in an imitation of a paw. “You can call me Hoshi!”
The kids echo it back to him— “Teacher Hoshi!” “Hello, Mr. Hoshi!” “What’s a Hoshi?”— while Teacher Kang only smiles fondly. For your part, you keep your expression perfectly controlled, even though you’re telepathically trying to get Soonyoung to combust. 
It’s one thing for him to waltz back into your life like it’s nothing. It’s another thing for him to come around and introduce himself with the pet name you used to have for him. 
Suddenly, you’re teenagers again, visiting the zoo on a field trip. The two of you had tried so hard to hide from your chaperones that you were holding hands in the pockets of your winter coats. In hindsight, it had been the most obvious thing in the world. 
Soonyoung had excitedly pointed out the Bengal tigers lounging in their enclosure, and you joked about how similar he looked to them. 호랑이의 시선. Horangi-ui siseon, the tiger’s gaze. 
Soon after, you took to calling him Hoshi when he was on stage, when the two of you were arguing over something petty, when you wanted to be affectionate. Hoshi, let’s get ice cream today. Hoshi, take me to the library. Hoshi, I love you!
Something that was once yours alone was now everybody else’s, too. It bothers you more than you care to admit. 
You’re so caught up in reminiscing that you almost miss Teacher Kang saying, “Soonyoung— er, Hoshi— is going to help us with the Christmas showcase. He’s a very popular dancer in Seoul, so we’re happy to have him here.” 
The betrayal that rises up within you is sharp albeit short-lived. Teacher Kang didn’t owe you a warning the same way that, say, Jihoon or Wonwoo might’ve. But still. Any indication at all would have been nice. 
One of the younger students— an absolute sweetheart by the name of Iseul— tugs at your pant leg. You lean down so she can cup her little hand over your ear. 
“Do you know Mr. Hoshi?” she whispers conspiratorially. 
How fitting, for a five-year-old to pose the million-won question. It’s a loaded gun of a query even though there’s technically no right or wrong answer. 
Of course you knew ‘Mr. Hoshi’. Your mothers were best friends. The two of you were in the same classes. You dated him throughout high school. You knew him well, like the back of your hand. 
That was before he got up and left without so much of a glance over his shoulder, though. 
You give Iseul a tight-lipped smile. “I knew him once,” you answer. It’s not quite the truth, but it will have to do for now. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“Took a wrong turn and ended up here.” 
--
“Are you going to ignore me the whole time, or…?” 
You answer Soonyoung’s prodding by ignoring him. 
The past week has been largely uneventful, sans Soonyoung’s occasional effort to poke his nose into your business. He at least had the decency to not show up at your family’s restaurant again, and whether or not he knows of your office is yet to be seen. 
Your interactions with him have been largely limited to the one-hour a day that you’ve dedicated to Yangjeong Elementary School. 
Yangjeong was yet another thing that the two of you shared. You were once a pig-tailed menace who outran all the boys on the playground, and Soonyoung was your snot-nosed partner-in-crime. 
Planning Yangjeong’s Christmas showcase has been your yearly commitment for as long as you can remember. Even when you were off at college, you had made it a point to set aside time for it. Volunteers have come and gone throughout the past, though this year’s volunteer was undeniably one of the more annoying ones. 
“You’re going to have to talk to me eventually, you know.” Soonyoung practically flops himself onto the desk in front of you, the sudden weight of him making the table creak. As you turn your face away, you catch sight of the pout beginning to form on his lips. 
You almost snipe at him, something along the lines of stop that or grow up or that doesn’t work on me anymore. You hold your tongue, in favor of wordlessly getting up to move to a different chair.
Soonyoung is right. You will have to talk to him soon enough.
But as you sit as far away from him as possible, readying yourself for the day ahead, you can at least decide that today will not be that day. 
Preparations for the showcase involve discussing the program with the teachers and readying the students for their performances. It’s never anything spectacular— just your run-of-the-mill rotation of tone-deaf singing and middling dances— but the town’s overzealous parents are always more than happy to indulge the show. 
Today, you and Soonyoung are set to meet with Teacher Kang to discuss the showcase’s overarching theme. 
The sixty-something-year-old woman had been your teacher as well, and so it’s understandable why she’s eyeing the pair of you with poorly concealed amusement. There’s a palpable tension between you and Soonyoung, though a significant majority of the awkwardness is likely from your end. 
“Have the two of you not kept in touch?” Teacher Kang asks as she sets down two mugs— coffee for you, hot chocolate for Soonyoung. 
“No,” the two of you say simultaneously. 
Soonyoung steals an all-too obvious glance. You keep your eyes on the coffee in front of you. 
Teacher Kang— bless her heart— decides not to push it. She settles in her own seat, her hands wrapped around a cup of tea. 
“The principal wants all the kids to do a number. Nothing too flashy, but something that will give everyone a chance to be on stage.” The elderly teacher sips at her drink before going on. “That’s why I called you in, Soonyoung.” 
“I’m the reinforcements,” he jokes. 
Teacher Kang gives a short laugh in response. “Something like that.” 
She turns to you, then, with that same motherly simper that you’ve never been able to say ‘no’ to. You wonder if she’s doing this on purpose— pulling all the stops to get you to agree to what she’s going to say next. 
“I know your hands are going to be full with the program and the staffing,” she starts. “But you’ll work with Soonyoung, won’t you?” 
What kind of person would you be if you said ‘no’? If you threw a fit and demanded for Soonyoung to be thrown out?
“Of course,” you say, the word gritted out through your teeth. 
At your side, Soonyoung lets out a loud cough to disguise his grumble of ‘bullshit’. You fight the urge to kick him in the shins.
The beguiling expression on Teacher Kang’s face is merciless. At this point, she’s no longer hiding the way that she’s watching you and Soonyoung’s heatless bickering. And when she comments on it, when she says “You two haven’t changed,” you almost walk out then and there. 
I’ve changed, you want to insist. He’s changed. We’re both changed; we had to.
Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been worth it. The breakup, the distance, all of it. 
Soonyoung recovers before you do. 
“Ah, before I forget!” He digs for something in his pants pocket, which he eventually holds out for Teacher Kang. “You asked me for this, the last time we saw each other.” 
Despite yourself, you can’t help but try and crane your neck to catch sight of what had been handed over. Soonyoung catches the small shift and huffs out a laugh. 
“You could just ask, you know,” he says, reaching back into his pocket. 
Your protest of “I don’t—” is cut off by him shoving the same thing in your hand. Your fingers close around the calling card bearing the illustration of a tiger and a string of unfamiliar numbers. 
Hoshi, A.K.A Kwon Soonyoung, it also says. Chief Executive Officer, Eye of the Tiger Dance Studio. B1, 47, Dogok-ro 27-Gil, Gangnam-Gu, Seoul. 
“So you know where to find me,” he says with the world’s most obnoxious smirk. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“I forgot something.” 
“From six years ago?” 
“From six years ago.” 
--
Everybody thought that you and Soonyoung were a foregone conclusion. 
It had been your stereotypical small town romance. You were kids together and then you were teenagers together. Some might have blamed it on forced proximity, but you like to think that the attraction and affection was real. That it wasn’t a matter of not having any other choice. 
You had chosen Soonyoung happily. He had chosen you right back.
After an awkward dance of ‘will-they-won’t-they,’ the two of you started dating in your freshman year of high school. It was the type of thing that had everybody— your respective families, your mutual friends— breathing a sigh of relief. Something akin to finally. 
For nearly four years, Soonyoung was it for you. 
He was the one walking you home, the one you messed around with behind the library building. The two of you shared nearly every first that mattered. Every first that a high schooler could afford, anyway. 
First date.
First kiss. 
And, so it goes— first heartbreak.
Soonyoung had worn his heart on his sleeve; it was abundantly clear to everyone what he cared about. Two things in particular defined him: You, and dancing.
If you really tried, you can still remember the first time that Soonyoung had choreographed a dance himself. He had been young, scrappy, hungry— all the qualities that made it possible for him to tear up the stage and leave the rest of you in awe. 
He went on to be president of your school’s modern dance club. He went on to compete, both in groups and by himself, and win. 
You picked up on it, too, if only to indulge him. The two of you had your fair share of semi-viral dance covers and podium finishes at local contests. It was yet another testament to your partnership, to what everyone presumed would spell out endgame. 
Except you only loved to dance, while Soonyoung lived for it. 
“Come with me,” he had invited you the night before your high school graduation. 
The two of you were supposed to be in bed, but your phone buzzed underneath your pillow and you couldn’t resist one last act of rebellion. You climbed out your window and met up with Soonyoung at your typical halfway point— the derelict playground the two of you have long since grown out of. 
“To where?” you asked, your sandaled feet dragging through the sand beneath the swing. Uncharacteristically, Soonyoung hadn’t kicked off at all, instead opting to remain still. 
His fingers had been tightly clenched around the rusting chain of the dated swing. You remember that much. In hindsight, he looked nervous. 
There is a timeline where he might have proposed to you that night, might have asked for an early hand in marriage, with how on edge he was acting. 
But, instead, you had prompted, “Have you finally decided on a uni?”
A beat. 
His voice— soft and vulnerable— broke the silence of the February evening. “I’m not going to uni.” 
You should have stopped swinging, then. Should have ground to a halt and grabbed Soonyoung by the shoulders. Should have called him crazy, insane.
Maybe you should have asked him to reconsider. That might have changed things. 
Except you only kept on pushing. Back, forth. Back, forth. Like this was just a normal conversation and not a relationship-defining, life-altering moment for the two of you.
“I’m going to Seoul,” he elaborated, desperate to fill your silence. “I’m going to try and be a dancer. You— you could, too.” 
Your answer was immediate. “I’m not as good as you.” 
“You are,” he argued. A muscle in his jaw jumped, then. You’d known him for long enough to recognize his little tells and ticks, and that had been one of them. An indicator of a lie. 
“I’m not.” You kept swinging, kept your face angled away from your boyfriend who was slipping through your fingers. “I’m going to uni, Soonyoung.” 
“But—”
“But what?” 
You’ll never admit this, but you had been cruel back then. You know that now.
There are things you would have done differently. You wouldn’t have snapped. You would have looked at him. 
You were young, though, and angry. Your heart had been shattering in your chest and the only thing you could do was go back and forth on that creaking swing as Soonyoung tried to get through to you. 
It hadn’t been that much of a surprise. Soonyoung’s general disinterest in college applications— and his constant rumblings about city life— had given you some idea of what his plans might be. 
You just thought you would be more involved in it. That you wouldn’t be simply handed the decision, as if it were something you would have to accept.
Young, angry, and selfish to boot. 
“Nothing.” Soonyoung eventually said. His words sounded like a concession, like some form of twisted acceptance. “You’ll go to uni.” 
“And you’ll go to Seoul.”
In your peripheral vision, you had seen Soonyoung tilt his head away as if trying to hide his face from you. Six years is a long time ago. You can’t tell if he had cried, or maybe you’ve chosen to erase that from your memory. 
“I’ll go,” Soonyoung repeated, an edge of defeat in his tone. 
You swung, and swung, and swung, like it was the only thing keeping you tethered. 
Back, forth. Back, forth. 
The quiet had stretched, giving you a chance, an opportunity. To convince him otherwise. To change your own mind. 
But— 
“And I’ll stay,” you had responded. 
That’s the thing about endings: They’re susceptible to change. 
--
The first civil words you utter to Soonyoung are “Yeah, I think the kids will enjoy Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.” 
He’d been spewing out prospects for the showcase’s group dance, though each idea had to be delicately shot down by Teacher Kang. Jingle Bell Rock? Performed three years ago. Baby, It’s Cold Outside? Perhaps not the most appropriate for children. 
You can see from a mile away, the signs of Soonyoung’s growing frustration— the downturn of his lips, the furrow of his brows. When he recommends the Maria Carey classic, you throw him a bone. Just to try and wipe that look off his face.
You immediately regret your kindness, because Soonyoung’s head whips around and he looks at you with the most disbelieving, wide-eyed expression. You return the overreaction with a half-hearted glare. 
“What?” you ask defensively. 
“It’s—” He pauses, his eyes flicking to Teacher Kang. “Nothing, nothing.” 
His jaw ticks. All that time apart and he’s still never learned how to get better at lying. 
You don’t have to poke and prod to know what’s coming. Once your little meeting draws to a close— Teacher Kang eventually agreeing with Santa Claus Is Coming to Town— Soonyoung makes a beeline for your side, his excitement barely concealed. 
“Is the world ending?” he asks you.
You attempt to shoulder past him, but he only follows you out of the classroom, sticking to your side. “You said we would have to talk eventually,” you point out. “Here’s your ‘eventually’. Don’t be too happy about it.” 
“But I am happy about it,” he responds, his tone almost like that of a whining puppy. “Not too much. Just an appropriate amount.” 
So help me, God. 
You keep your gaze ahead as you walk out of the school. Soonyoung matches your pace, humming underneath his breath. You better watch out, you better not cry. You better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why. 
Once the two of you are out the front doors of the school, you’re greeted to a light dusting of snow on Namyangju’s sidewalks. 
“So,” Soonyoung says casually as you pull out your phone to check the weather for the rest of the day. “You don’t work full-time at your parents’ restaurant, do you?” 
Involuntarily, a derisive snort of laughter escapes you. “Small talk? Really?” 
There’s a boyish grin on Soonyoung’s face. “Gotta take advantage of you being chatty,” he shoots back, which only prompts you to shake your head. 
You could ignore him, like you always have. You probably should. That had always been Soonyoung’s style. 
Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile. 
And yet—
“No,” you grumble, your eyes still absentmindedly scanning your weather app. “I only work at the restaurant part-time.” 
“The rest of the time?” 
“I didn’t realize this was going to be a talk show.” 
“Haven’t you heard? I’m primetime’s most charming host—” 
“Law. I work at a law firm.”
The answer is ripped from you in a bid to avoid Soonyoung’s theatrics, and you find yourself blinking with mild surprise, like you hadn’t prepared to divulge the detail at all. Soonyoung notices, and his lips curl in a smug smirk. 
“I know,” he says simply. “Jihoon told me.” 
You make a mental note to berate your mutual friend as you exasperatedly say, “Why did you ask, then?” 
“Because I wanted to hear it from you.” 
Soonyoung lets his words hang, linger, before he goes on. It’s just four words, what he utters next, but it still threatens to tilt your world on its axis. 
“I’m proud of you,” he says, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 
You’ve heard your fair share of the platitude throughout the years. From Jihoon and Wonwoo, when you first got into law school. From your parents, when you passed the bar exam. From Teacher Kang, every December, when the Christmas showcase is pulled off. 
This is something entirely different. This has you shoving your phone back into your bag, just to hide the way your hand had begun to twitch at the words. 
“You can’t say stuff like that to your ex,” you snap. 
Soonyoung’s answer comes without a moment’s hesitation. “Why? Being exes doesn’t take away the fact that I’m proud of you.” 
Too much, too much, too much. It’s too much for your pride, your emotions, your heart. You wish you could take this for what it is— a compliment, some kindness— but the history goes deep, and the words feel like a scab being picked. 
You do what you do best. You turn on your heel and begin to walk away. 
Thankfully, Soonyoung doesn’t follow you. But he’s nothing if not vexatious, so he squeezes in a sing-song cry of “Byeee, attorney!” as you leave. 
You quicken your pace just a little bit more. 
--
Jihoon has the tendency to look like a kicked puppy when he’s being told off. 
He doesn’t pout, no, but the expression on his face is a close thing as you give him grief over telling Soonyoung about you. Wonwoo, stuck in the middle as per usual, only calmly cuts into his lunch. 
“Why did you have to tell Soonyoung about my work, huh?” you demand as you slice a little too forcefully into your bulgogi. “Giving him free ammunition or something?” 
Jihoon finally gets a word in edgewise. “It’s because he asks about you,” he deadpans. 
The thought of it is so insane that you bark out a laugh. The retort— bullshit!— is right on the tip of your tongue, but it dies out when Wonwoo bobs his head up and down.
Wonwoo has always been the less likely of the two to lie to you. You’re still a bit baffled even as the bespectacled man confirms, “Yeah. He asks me, too.” 
“Asks what?” 
“How you’re doing.” Wonwoo is so nonchalant about the whole affair that you’re tempted to call him out, too, but the lack of teasing in his tone gives you some sense of where his head is at. “What you’re up to. Stuff like that.” 
Kwon Soonyoung has kept tabs on you. 
In the years that you’ve tried to bury the memory of your friendship, of your relationship, Kwon Soonyoung has kept tabs. 
“He—” You clear your throat when your voice comes out a little more high-pitched than usual. If Jihoon and Wonwoo notice, they mercifully don’t call you out. 
You manage, “He could have just reached out to me.”
Jihoon, who had taken advantage of the reprieve to shovel some spoonfuls of rice into his mouth, swallows hard before speaking. 
“Would you have answered?” he inquires, one eyebrow arched upward. 
The truth— rarely plain, never simple— lies in a single, two-lettered word. No. No, you probably wouldn’t have answered. And even though you want to defend yourself, to claim otherwise, both Jihoon and Wonwoo would only do what you had wanted to do earlier. Call bullshit. 
You let out a groan of defeat, slumping forward until your forehead has planted on the table in front of you.
“No further questions, Your Honor,” Wonwoo chirps, and though you can’t see him, you can already imagine the smirk that he’s sporting. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“I thought there would be a high school reunion. I think I got the date wrong.” 
--
The abundance of existing routines for Santa Claus Is Coming to Town makes it somewhat easier for you and Soonyoung to dumb it down for the kids. 
You spend the next week keeping the students in line as Soonyoung teaches them how to shimmy, how to slide, how to do jazz hands. Every so often, you catch him at a loss— like when one of the younger boys tries to eat a crayon, or when the kids go into a scream-filled debate about the existence of Santa Claus. 
These are things you’re used to. These are things you can handle. 
Taking the crayons away or assuring the kids that Santa Claus is real is far, far easier than being in forced proximity with the one that got away. You’re reminded of that, now, as Soonyoung taps out for a breather and you sub in to go over the routine with the kids once more. 
They’re more prone to listening to you, and so you easily get one run of the song down without a hitch. In the years that you’ve voluntarily choreographed for the showcase, you’ve never thought too much about the technicalities of your skill. You danced well enough to teach, to pull off a decent, child-appropriate routine. That had been enough. 
But with the scrutinizing eyes of dance studio CEO ‘Hoshi’ following your every move, you feel that simmer of competitiveness in your stomach. 
After three more runs of the number with the children, you let them go. As you go to catch your breath over one of the auditorium’s bleachers, you’re surprised by a hand holding out a Cool Blue Raspberry Gatorade. 
“Is this still your poison?” Soonyoung asks with a hint of amusement as he settles into the space next to you. 
You don’t answer. Briefly, your mind goes to those days— the salsa competitions, the random play dance events. How Soonyoung’s backpack always had his Game Boy Color, a change of clothes, and a blue Gatorade. The last one, always for you. 
You uncork the drink, tilt your head back, and take a long swig. It’s as close to a confirmation that you’re going to give him. 
The two of you sit in silence as the children begin to file out of the auditorium. Once the only two of you are left, Soonyoung speaks up, the words far too quiet in the otherwise empty room. 
“You really are good, you know.” 
It takes you a beat too long to realize that he’s talking about your dancing. If the two of you were on better terms, you might have teased him about that night on the playground, many years ago, when he had fibbed about you being as good of a dancer as he is.
As it is, you can only respond with an equally soft, “Thanks.”
Being the bigger person lasts for all of fifty seconds, though, because Soonyoung’s next words prickle. 
“Could’ve been much bigger.” 
“Excuse me?”
He freezes, an oh shit type of expression crossing his face. Even so, he doubles down. “I'm just saying,” he starts, his tone growing slightly more defensive. “You could have done much more—” 
Your words are cold as your fingers close tighter around the half-empty bottle of Gatorade. “Am I not doing much where I am right now?” 
“You’re twisting my words,” he shoots back.
“Those are exactly your words,” you fume. 
It’s an old wound, one that Soonyoung poked with something sharp the second he returned home and made his presence known. You’ve done everything you can to ignore it, to keep the ache and the bitterness at bay, but you can’t help the way that it rises in your throat like bile. Something acidic, and foul, and unwelcome. 
You get to your feet, leaving the offered Gatorade on the bleacher. “Sorry not all of us moved to the city and had a big break, Kwon,” you say as you begin to gather your things.
“Jesus Christ.” Soonyoung’s cuss is punctuated with a laugh, but it’s not like any of the laughs you’re used to from him. The sound is annoyed, pained. Almost hurt, even, though you try not to dwell on that. 
Your relationship, your breakup, is an old wound that hasn’t completely healed. It’s been on the edge of festering ever since you lost contact with him. 
And, now, as you leave him stewing in his emotions, you figure that it’s only going to fester some more. 
--
Back then, the two of you had dubbed each other The Great Pretenders. 
Dating in high school required a certain level of delicadeza. While your relationship was largely accepted and acknowledged, there were still a number of things you had to hide from your families and friends. Tear-stained faces after petty arguments. Hickies under the collars of your school uniforms. 
It’s been years, but The Great Pretenders makes a reappearance when the pair of you have to face Teacher Kang the next day.
It goes unspoken that whatever the hell is going on between you two shouldn’t affect the showcase, shouldn’t be obvious to anyone that matters. And so the two of you update her on the kids’ progress, and sip the warm drinks that she offers, without any indication of having had a spat. 
The check-in winds to a close after a couple of polite exchanges. Teacher Kang seems pleased with preparations so far, though she looks even more happy about you and Soonyoung’s perceived civility, which damn near bowls you over. 
“By the way, Soonyoung,” Teacher Kang says conversationally as the three of you pack up for the afternoon. “How’s the studio?” 
“All good.” He pauses, like he realized he hadn’t given that sufficient of an answer. “We’re usually busy around this time of year, but I have one of my staff keeping watch while I’m here. I plan to head back once the holiday season is over.” 
You should’ve seen it coming, but something beneath your rib cage still twinges at the thought. You ignore the feeling in favor of shouldering your backpack. 
“You shouldn’t wait so long before coming back again,” Teacher Kang half-jokes.
Soonyoung’s chuckle— a dry, unconvincing huff of ha-ha— is chased with the cool delivery of “I’ll try to make it a more regular thing.”
In the corner of your eye, you catch what Teacher Kang misses. The most imperceptible tick in Soonyoung’s jaw. 
Liar, you think. Liar, liar, liar. 
You and Soonyoung had mastered the art of pretending, sure, but you could never quite get away from each other. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“I’d forgotten the sound of my mother’s voice.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah.” 
--
The snow returns with a vengeance. 
It’s that time of winter where the streets are blanketed with white, where the sleet and rain makes conditions horrendous. You have no choice but to soldier through the soft hail as you make your way to the school, which you’re committed to reach come rain or shine.
Except when you get to the front doors, you’re greeted by a bemused-looking Soonyoung. 
You pat down your snow-clad clothes as you look him up and down. “Where are you going?” 
He answers your question with one of his own. “Haven’t you heard?” He holds up his phone. “Practice is cancelled today. Everybody’s snowed in.” 
You were rarely the type to walk and text, so your phone has been sitting pretty in your pocket this whole time. When you go to check it, you find messages from Teacher Kang. Canceling showcase preparations in lieu of the weather. Stay safe and dry. 
“I just found out myself,” Soonyoung says delicately. 
Ah. That explained why he was the only other person around. 
Disgruntled, you glance at your surroundings. There’s barely anyone present, and the snow is only seeming to fall heavier with each passing minute. You’d be lucky to get a cab at this rate—
“Or I could just drive you.” 
You jump a bit. At what point had you started saying that last thought out loud? 
“That’s not necessary,” you start to say, but Soonyoung is already fishing for his car keys in his jacket pocket. 
“I know you hate my ass,” he responds bluntly. “But that hatred isn’t worth freezing to death over, no?” 
His face is turned away from you, so there’s no way for you to tell what expression he’s sporting. It’s a small grace. Even though you dread the thought of being stuck in a small space with nothing but your thoughts and an old ghost to keep your company, you do hate the prospect of hypothermia even more. 
That’s how you end up in the passenger seat of Soonyoung’s beat-up Hyundai Pony, which stutters and bucks every time he has to take a turn. It’s the very same car that you both learned to drive in, though it’s looking significantly worse for wear. 
While nostalgia has proven to be a bitch, you can’t resist the jab on the tip of your tongue. “Jesus,” you breathe, your fingers tightening around your seatbelt as Soonyoung barely makes a corner. “I can’t believe this thing’s still alive.” 
“That makes two of us,” he quips with a grimace. 
Once the car miraculously makes its way past a snowed-out road, Soonyoung notes, “Remember when my dad first taught us how to get through rain?”
The memory brings the flicker of a smile to your face. “You were so scared you might run a squirrel over,” you say. 
“You swore up and down that you’d never drive on a wet road,” Soonyoung shoots back.  
“I still don’t,” you respond, glancing out the window for the lack of a better thing to look at. “I ask my dad to drive whenever it’s raining.” 
Soonyoung’s next words make you pause. “Your dad hated me,” he huffs. 
You let out a snort of laughter. “That’s not true. He really liked you.” 
“He always left the room whenever I came in,” Soonyoung argues. 
“He wanted to give us privacy.” You can’t help the sigh that slides past your lips, the sound edged with annoyance. “Really, you’ve got to stop blaming other people for why we didn’t work out.”
The words hang heavy in the din of the car. You wonder, for a second, if you’d been too callous, but there’s something like a rueful smile that tugs at Soonyoung’s face. 
“Sorry. Coping mechanism,” he responds, and you don’t push any further. 
An awkward couple of moments follow. Unfortunately for you, Soonyoung has never learned the art of tact— always pushing it just a little bit, right to the point where the tension is drawn like a rubber band. 
“You know, my mom has been asking about you,” Soonyoung says conversationally as he turns into your neighborhood. “Says I should invite you over for lunch.” 
Your grasp on the seatbelt is white-knuckled. It wasn’t like you were actively avoiding the Kwons; you were perfectly polite when you saw them in public, when you ran into them in the supermarket or at church. But it’s been years since you last stepped foot in their house, and for obvious reasons, too. 
“I’m not ready for that,” you answer tersely. 
Soonyoung is either oblivious to your agitation or ignorant of it. Regardless of which, he goes on, “I said the same thing. I guess she still thinks—” 
“Let’s not go there.” Your tone is just cutting enough to give Soonyoung pause, to have him stammer to a halt as he pulls to a stop in front of your house. “I’m hot having this conversation with you, Soonyoung.” 
He doesn’t apologize, though he does back down. “Right,” he mumbles as he parks. “Right.” 
You unbuckle your seatbelt, careful to keep your gaze trained away from Soonyoung. “Thanks for the ride.”
Soonyoung is graciously quiet as you step out of his car, though that lasts for all of ten seconds— just enough for you to almost close the door on him— when he speaks up. 
“Hey. For the record,” he starts, leaning over the center console to get in the last word. “I don’t blame anyone else for our breakup. I know whose fault it is.” 
You raise an eyebrow. He throws you an infuriating grin before reaching over to pull the door close himself. 
Soonyoung peels away, once again leaving you with more questions than answers. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“It’s cold in the city, during the winter.” 
--
You and Soonyoung find yourselves doubling your efforts as the date of the showcase looms.
You spend more of your time with Teacher Kang. You extend a little more patience to the kids. You dance— dance the routines, dance with Soonyoung, dance around the truth. 
But when the elephant in the room is as big as it is, ignorance is not an option. And Soonyoung never did learn how to keep his mouth shut. 
It’s late in the evening, the two of you having pulled extra hours to work on decor. You’d felt like it was going a little too well with the way that the two of you were uncharacteristically cordial throughout the afternoon. But of course that was too good to be true, because just as you were packing up for the night, Soonyoung had to go and say— 
“Are you happy here?” 
You freeze midway into packing away the multi-colored, Christmas tree-shaped banners. That familiar flash of frustration, that inkling that he’s looking down on you, rises up again. 
“Why wouldn’t I be?” you say, and he’s immediately prickly. 
“It’s nothing.” He shoves some of the props behind the stage, hasty in his pursuit to end the conversation as fast as possible. “Forget I said anything.” 
“Come on,” you bristle. All the while, you’re also putting things back in place— your movements just a little more forceful than necessary. “Spit it out. You started it.” 
“I was just asking.” 
“You’re never ‘just asking’. Go on, say it.” 
“You—” 
The two of you are glaring at each other, now, your face red and Soonyoung’s fists balled at his side. When you speak, it’s with a tone that could cut through ice. 
“Just because I chose to stay,” you say. “It doesn’t mean my dreams are smaller than yours.” 
Soonyoung looks dumbstruck. His voice is impossibly tight; his words, reverberating in the otherwise empty hall. 
“I wasn’t going to say your dreams are small. It’s just… We—” He backtracks, like the pronoun had been a scalding slip of the tongue. “You could’ve sold out auditoriums.” 
Your answer is immediate, if not a little strained. 
“A sold out auditorium doesn’t matter if the one person you want isn’t at the recital,” you say. “Some people find happiness right where they are, and this is mine.” 
And that’s always been the crux of it, hasn’t it? Soonyoung has tried to make a name for himself in cities, in rooms full of people cheering his name. His definition of success was only achievable in quantity, in scale. Yours was different, and he could never really quite accept that. 
There’s a moment where Soonyoung doesn’t say anything, just looks at you with a pinched expression on his face. He opens his mouth like he might say something— 
“Oi! You two!”
You and Soonyoung jump, the tension that had been simmering between you two disappearing at the interruption. The school’s ancient janitor lingers by the door, squinting at you two. 
“Whaddya think yer still doin’ here?” the old man croaks, wielding his broom in a fashion that still makes you recoil. “It’s past curfew! Geddout!” 
Never mind the fact you and Soonyoung were now in your late twenties and long out of high school. The two of you still cower and meekly mumble, “Sorry, Mr. Cho.” 
It’s snowing again when the two of you step out. Soonyoung’s face is set in stone as he mumbles, “Get in my car.” 
Right. Like that was going to happen. 
With a wordless huff, you begin to march in the opposite direction to him. “Hey,” he calls out. “Where are you going?” 
“Home!” 
“In this— hey, it’s snowing!”
“That’s what happens during the winter!” 
You’d be a little more conscious about having a screaming match in the streets if it wasn’t nearly midnight. Something about the incessant snowfall and the cloak of darkness gives you just a little more courage to speak your mind, to toe that line that the two of you have so haphazardly drawn. 
Soonyoung marches after you, his own misgivings about the weather momentarily forgotten. He’s raring to fight, and it shows in the way he stomps through the snow like an overgrown child. 
“So that’s it, then?” he hollers from a couple of paces behind you. “You’re just going to stay here for the rest of your life, playing it safe? Work at the family restaurant because of filial piety? Marry— I don’t fucking know— guy-next-door Joshua Hong, and have babies, and—” 
“What is your problem?!” you snap, rounding on Soonyoung. He skids to a halt, stopping himself from completely barreling into you. “Why are you acting like you know me?” 
“Because I do!” His voice cracks on the last word. “I know you!”
“No, you don’t.” 
“I know you very well.” 
“From what? Jihoon and Wonwoo’s stories?” There’s a muscle straining in your neck from the way you’ve raised your voice, but you can’t find it in yourself to back down. “Think that’s enough to fill a six-year gap?” 
That seems to get Soonyoung. “You never reached out to me! Not once!” he seethes. 
“Well, neither did you!”
“I didn’t think—” His breath catches. He pushes on. “I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.” 
“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it.” 
“What’s your excuse, then?” he shoots back. “Come on. I’m dying to hear it.” 
What’s your excuse, he’s asking. Why haven’t you reached out? If you were so angry and upset about the radio silence, why did you do nothing about it? 
Several answers occur to you at once. There was Soonyoung’s own flimsy reasoning. I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.
There was something close to the truth, something a little too vulnerable to be spoken out loud. I was mad at you. I hated you for a bit. I think I still hate you even now. 
There was the whisper of something treacherous, something damning. I was scared that I would only end up asking for you to come back. 
None of those words come out. You stay standing across from Soonyoung in the wake of his challenge, your face flushed, your gaze narrow. He glares right back at you, unyielding in his pride and his pain. 
The silence stretches. It becomes an answer in itself. 
“Exactly,” Soonyoung says with a heavy exhale. There’s a spark of flint in his eyes, a flicker of something that could almost be likened to hurt. “It takes two people to break up. You always seem to forget that.” 
As he begins to stalk away, you’re overcome with that feeling again. That heavy weight in your chest, put there whenever you know he got the last word, whenever he turned out to be right. Soonyoung has only taken about three steps away before you’re bending down and cupping some snow in your hands. 
The hastily-made snowball hits Soonyoung on the back of his head. It splatters against his hair, leaving tiny, glistening flakes tangled in his blonde strands. 
He freezes, but only for a moment. In the blink of an eye, Soonyoung is already crouching down to retaliate. He’s quicker and much more savage, and his revenge soars through the end to land squarely in your chest. 
You stagger backward, the gasp catching in your throat. Oh, it’s on.
What ensues is the most ruthless snowball fight that your small town has seen. Snowballs are hurled with reckless abandon, the ice crystals getting everywhere from your clothes to your socks. Neither of you even bother to try and hide from the onslaught. The two of you take each other’s attacks, every hit punctuated with heatless insults that have simmered too long. 
“You never called—” Soonyoung screeches, sending a cold sphere against your shoulder. 
“You didn’t visit—” you shriek as you shape ammunition in your gloved hands. 
“You deleted every photo of me off your Facebook—” A snowball to your side. 
“You talked to Jihoon and Wonwoo, but not me—” Another square hit to Soonyoung’s chest, sending a puff of powdery snow up into his face.
“Coward!”
“Asshole!”
It feels like hours before the two of you let up. 
The two of you are covered in snow from head to toe; your chests heaving from exertion, your cheeks ruddy from the cold. The heat of the exchange leaves you both puffing breaths that cloud the air between you. 
There’s a hint of something in your stances. Something that feels like it belongs to another time— before the breakup, before the distance. 
Quietly, Soonyoung starts to laugh. 
His hands are on his hips and his head is tilted back. The flakes catch on his eyelashes, his hair, but he keeps his face upturned to the sky as he laughs, and laughs, and laughs. 
That old, familiar sound. The one that warms you up from the inside, whether or not you care to admit it. You’re doubled over, your hands on your knees, as you watch him look more and more like the boy you loved and lost. 
“I hate you,” you choke out, though a corner of your mouth has twitched upward. 
He doesn’t even look at you as he responds.
“Yeah,” he breathes. “Missed you, too.” 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“Am I not allowed to?” 
--
“Soonyoung says you two kissed and made up.” 
You shoot Jihoon an unamused glare. 
From across you, he raises his hand in a defensive gesture. “I didn’t believe him, of course,” he insists, though you don’t miss the way he and Wonwoo try to discreetly exchange money under the table. 
Wonwoo catches your suspicious expression and gives you an apologetic grin in return. 
“Made a bet,” he says. 
“You two suck,” you groan. 
Your three’s weekly lunch has gone mostly swimmingly up to the point that Jihoon had brought up Soonyoung. Now, though, with the topic broached, neither of your friends see the need to be discreet about it. 
“I do wonder why Soonie decided to come home now, after all these years,” Wonwoo muses aloud, toying with his chopsticks as he speaks. “Seems a bit out of the blue, doesn’t it?” 
“He came home because Teacher Kang asked him,” you point out. 
One of Jihoon’s eyebrows cocks upward. “Teacher Kang has asked him every year for the past couple of years,” he says. “So it’s not just that, I’m sure.” 
Wonwoo chimes in with, “Must be something real important, then.” 
Jihoon nearly smirks. “Or someone.” 
What feels like your nth groan of the evening escapes you. “Put a sock in it, you two,” you grumble, drawing snickers from your friends.
Jihoon mouths something to Wonwoo. You can’t make it out for certain, but it looks suspiciously like a wordless grumble of Bet’s still on. 
--
Civility is a rare thing to share with Soonyoung. 
With the showcase mere days away, it’s a welcome development. At least it’s easier for the two of you to iron out the chinks in the routines, to ensure the program is up to par with the school’s standards.
But with civility comes an even more fragile thing— hope. 
It’s in the way Soonyoung will hold open doors for you or haul the heavier props on your behalf, much to your chagrin and to Teacher Kang’s amusement. 
It’s in the way Soonyoung starts to make small talk about everything from your day job to your parents, never minding much that he’s the one who has to carry half the conversations. 
It’s in the way Soonyoung tries to make you laugh, and how, one afternoon, he finally succeeds.
You can’t even remember what it was. Some terrible joke about the kids, maybe. All you know is that a snort of laughter had slid out of you, the sound not quite the derisive giggles you’d been giving him the past couple of weeks. 
You’re still chuckling when you see Soonyoung’s face. 
Immediately, you sober up. “What?” you ask, because he’s staring at you with his jaw slack and his eyes slightly wide. 
He tries to rearrange his expression into something more acceptable; it’s too late, given that you’ve already caught him. Soonyoung may have not always been honest, but he was expressive. 
You glare at him, indicating that he’s not about to escape, and he huffs out a defeated sigh. 
“It’s just— I forgot, okay?” 
“Forgot what?” 
“How good happiness looks on you.” 
Who the hell says something like that on a random Thursday? 
Soonyoung still has that vaguely dazed look in his eyes, even though you’ve begun to stare at him like he’s insane. As he walks away to go and refill his water bottle, he nearly collides with one of the auditorium’s poles, drawing raucous laughter from the kids. 
You shush them, the tips of your ears beginning to flame. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“It was about time.” 
--
It’s nothing short of a miracle, how you, Jihoon, Soonyoung, and Wonwoo all end up at the same table at Taco Joe’s. 
Jihoon had been the one who proposed the idea. So casually, too, like he was readying himself for one of your infamous tirades or a flurry of your punches. Soonyoung wants to grab drinks with all of us.
To Jihoon and Wonwoo’s surprise, you had only responded with, “When?” 
Neither boys want to look a gift horse in the mouth, so they’re extra careful in playing their cards right. Wonwoo vows to be the designated driver. Jihoon holds back on making any jokes about the whole affair. And, Soonyoung— well, he’s just happy to be there. 
“This place really hasn’t changed, huh?” Soonyoung snickers as he sips at his beer. 
There’s not a lot of bars to choose from in your small town, making Taco Joe’s something of an institution. Its low lights, Top 50’s playlist, and cheap drinks attract more of the mid-twenties crowd, though there had been a time in your teenage years when you’d all tried and failed to sneak in. 
“Joe threatened to ban us for life when we first stepped foot in here,” Jihoon reminisces. 
Wonwoo pushes his glasses up his face by the bridge of his nose. “Worse,” he says. “He said he would tell our parents.” 
Simultaneously, the four of you shudder. A small smile tugs at your lips as you extend your cocktail for the boys to cheers with. 
“To vindication,” you announce. 
There’s a ripple of laughter among your friends. 
“Vindication,” they echo, clinking their bottles and glasses with yours. 
A part of you is suspicious at how pleasant the night is going. The conversation is easy, if not a little on the safe side. The drinks are good. The music is more often a hit instead of a miss. It’s shaping up to be a decent evening, though there are a handful of interruptions here and there. 
Kwon Soonyoung is a bit of a local celebrity, after all. 
Everybody and their mother knows about his swanky dance studio in the city, about the idols and celebrities he’s met in his line of work. Every so often, someone will stop by to greet him, to exchange a word or two with him. 
Soonyoung is perfectly amicable to all of them. His smile, practiced; his words, cool and smooth. After the fourth or so person has come up to say hello to the Hoshi, Jihoon voices out what you’ve all been thinking. 
“It’s so exhausting hanging out with you,” Jihoon says dryly.
Soonyoung giggles mid-swig of his alcohol. “Can’t help it.” He fakes a tired sigh, his shoulders rising in a shrug. “Everybody wants a piece of me.” 
“I’ll tear you to pieces if anyone else comes up to us,” Wonwoo warns. 
Your gaze flicks over Wonwoo’s shoulder, towards someone approaching your corner table. “Get those claws ready, Wonu,” you say.
When Joshua Hong saunters up to your group’s table, though, his greeting for Soonyoung is cursory at best. 
“Nice to see you back, Kwon,” the man says politely before turning his attention to you. “Hey, you.” 
You straighten in your seat. Jihoon and Wonwoo exchange a look. Soonyoung’s eyes narrow ever so slightly as he gives a grumbled ‘hello’ to Joshua’s lackluster greeting. 
It’s apparent that Joshua isn’t there for him, because Joshua is instead smiling at you. “Hey,” you respond in kind. “What’s up?” 
Joshua had been an upperclassman during your school days, part of the infamous trio featuring troublemaker Yoon Jeonghan and varsity captain Choi Seungcheol. But Joshua was more on the mild side, known for his volunteer work at the local choir. He wasn’t any less unattainable, though, and you’re reminded of why Soonyoung so callously threw his name out during your more recent spat. 
Prior to dating Soonyoung, you did have a raging crush on Joshua, after all. You’re briefly reminded of it as he flashes you a warm smile. “I was hoping I could buy you a drink,” he says. “For… you know.” 
There’s absolutely nothing coy in Joshua’s words. He’s not suggestive, not trying to come on to you. All the same, the three boys at your table react like Joshua had just proposed. 
Jihoon bites back a grin. Wonwoo cocks his head to one side. Soonyoung shoots back a quarter of his beer. 
For… you know, Joshua is saying, and you know exactly what he means even though the rest aren’t privy to it. You’re already getting to your feet before you can register it. “Yeah,” you say, nodding towards the bar. “Let’s go.” 
None of your friends say a thing as you step away with Joshua, but you can feel their eyes on your back. You know you’re going to get hell for it later— but, for now, you focus on the small talk that Joshua has to offer. 
He lets you pick out your cocktail of choice. As the bartender goes to make it, Joshua smiles down at you. There had been a time where you might’ve keened over at the sight of it; now, though, it only makes your heart flutter a bit. 
His voice is just loud enough to be heard over the thumping music, but low enough that it’s just for the two of you. 
“Thank you for your help,” he says. “Really. You’re a life-saver.” 
Your expression softens underneath the lights of the bar. “How’s your dad?” 
Joshua’s smile is a little tight, but not any less sincere. “Better,” he responds. “It’s rough, of course, but he’s coping.” 
Earlier in the year, Joshua’s father had been one of your firm’s clients. It had been a lot more challenging than you thought, working with someone you personally knew. The arduous process had involved unsecured debts, scarred credit scores, and seized collaterals, but you were ultimately able to help the Hongs in closing down their music school. 
“I’m glad.” You pause, as if realizing that’s not quite the right thing to say. “I’m not glad about what happened—” 
Joshua’s laughter cuts through your tirade. Your shoulders ease when you realize it’s not a particularly mean laugh. More of an amused sound at your panic. 
“Don’t worry, I get it,” he reassures as the bartender slides your drinks to you. Joshua gives the other man a nod and a mumbled promise of tipping later.
“I don’t want to keep you,” Joshua says. “Just wanted to show my appreciation.” 
“You didn’t have to.” Your fingers wrap around the drink he brought you. “But thank you, anyway.” 
Joshua nods, grins. The lines are clear as day. He’s not flirting, not trying to get in your pants or anything. The drink is exactly that: A show of gratitude. Nothing more, nothing less. 
Some old version of you might have been disappointed. Tonight, you are only oddly relieved. The two of you talk a little more— about things that are neither here nor there— before Joshua lets you go. 
Upon your return to your table, you’re greeted with a sight for sore eyes. 
Somehow, in the fifteen or so minutes that you were gone, Soonyoung had already shot back his first bottle of beer. As you slide back into your seat next to Wonwoo, your bespectacled friend quietly divulges, “That’s his third one.” 
“Third?” You glance toward Soonyoung, your eyebrows raised quizzically. “Are you trying to get alcohol poisoning or something?” 
Soonyoung only flashes you a grin before taking another swig. He ignores your question in favor of chatting Jihoon’s ear off; the latter throws you a bemused look before going back to his conversation with Soonyoung. 
You huff out a sigh as you go to nurse the cocktail that Joshua got you. 
“I wonder what’s gotten into him,” Wonwoo says, his tone just a little too smug for his own good. 
You shoot him a sideways glare. He sinks his teeth into his lower lip, hiding his blooming smile behind a sip of his soda. 
As the night wears on, you begin to feel that familiar buzz in your system. The telltale signs of your tipsiness leave you pleasantly sated— your laughter a little less restrained, your brain a lot more empty. So when Soonyoung leans across the table to yell at you, “Let’s dance!”, your first instinct is not to say Fuck off. 
The words that come out instead are “To what song?” 
Soonyoung is already standing up and moving around the table to get to your side. An intoxicated Jihoon and sober Wonwoo only watch on, spectators to this impending dumpster fire, as Soonyoung reaches out to tug you out of your seat. 
“Any song,” he breathes. His face is flushed a deep shade of red, but his eyes are as bright as ever. “Anything you want.” 
There’s a right thing to do in this situation.
The right thing to do would be to let Soonyoung down politely. To tell him no, you’re not interested in dancing. You’re happy to drink with him and your friends, but you’re not about to indulge him with the thing that once made the two of you so close. You don’t think your heart can take it. 
But you’re two cocktails in. The music is good. And Soonyoung is looking at you with that absolutely incandescent expression, faring not any better than you in the game of sobriety. How could you deny him? 
You let him pull you to your feet. His hand stays wrapped around your wrist as he drags you out onto the dance floor, as he leans over to the DJ and yells, “Do you have any GD?!”
The current track transitions into the unmistakable beats of Good Boy. Soonyoung’s face lights up like a firework. 
You’re drunk enough to laugh at him, with him, as you easily fall into the decade-old dance routine. No matter how long it’s been, it seems like your body still remembers every step, every hand movement. 
You’re drunk enough to not care that Wonwoo is not-so discreetly filming the two of you, that Jihoon is wearing a knowing smirk. Come tomorrow, your friends will have a lot to say about this moment. But, right now, it’s all inconsequential. 
You’re drunk enough to dance. To dance in a way that isn’t simply for Christmas showcase purposes. To dance and remember why you loved it so much in the first place. 
To dance with the boy who got you into it in the first place. 
Good Boy spins into Home Sweet Home, then Fantastic Baby, then Gee. You and Soonyoung dance through it all. Honestly, you’re no longer built for this the same way that you once were, and you’re certainly not up to par with Soonyoung.
His drunkenness does nothing to dampen his energy or his dancing skills. He moves across the floor with the practiced ease of a professional, putting everyone to shame without even trying. His toothy smile never leaves his face as the two of you swing and pop and glide. 
By the time the DJ starts to play more modern pop, you call for a time-out. Soonyoung stumbles after you and the two of you collapse onto a nearby couch, boneless from the non-stop dancing. 
Wonwoo is off to one side, chatting with a girl, while Jihoon is nowhere to be found. You wouldn’t hold it past the latter to be on a smoke break of some sorts; nights out always tended to drain him, after all. 
“Insane,” Soonyoung croaks out. Blonde strands of his hair stick to his face due to sweat. You resist the urge to fix it.
“I haven’t danced like that in ages,” you say, rolling your shoulders to fight off the growing ache in your body. 
Soonyoung tries to laugh. The sound comes out more like a wheeze. His next words are mumbled in between attempts to catch his breath. “You’re good, babe.” 
Come Back Home is thumping through the speakers. You try to focus on that instead of Soonyoung’s Freudian slip; you fail miserably, and it must show on your face because Soonyoung sucks in some air through his teeth. 
“Sorry.” He’s laughing, but the sound is a bit rough around the edges. “Moment of weakness.” 
A beat. “Wanna dance some more?” he prompts. 
Whether it’s a desperate bid to run from his words or a sincere offer by a man who simply lives to dance, you don’t question it. “Yeah,” you say a little too quickly. “Let’s dance.” 
You dance until you feel like your feet are going to fall off. Soonyoung matches your pace, never missing a beat. When he needs to take a break, he drinks some more— an endless cycle of dance floor shenanigans and drawn-out sips of beer. 
It’s probably why he’s swaying by the time that you’re all calling it a night. Wonwoo and Jihoon flank Soonyoung on either side, the blonde still somehow having the tenacity to chatter while dragging his feet. He’s talking out of his ass about one thing or another, like music these days “not being as good as the OGs,” and you can sense Wonwoo’s exasperation over the whole thing. 
“Living in Seoul has done absolutely nothing for your tolerance,” Wonwoo grumbles, prompting Soonyoung to go into a long-winded rant about the cultural differences in drinking culture. 
The relief on Wonwoo’s face is palpable as he shoves Soonyoung into the backseat of his car. 
Jihoon gives a nod of his own. “You’ll be good to drive?” he asks Wonwoo.  
“Didn’t drink a drop,” Wonwoo chirps. “You?” 
“Sobered up, like, two hours ago,” Jihoon says wryly. He gives you a vicious side eye— wordlessly blaming you for not being able to go home any earlier, since he was your designated driver— and you raise your shoulders in a half-shrug. 
“You were the one who invited me out to drink.” Your voice is hoarse from all the alcohol, from the physical exertion of non-stop dancing. 
You’re somehow lucid enough to register that Soonyoung is calling for you. There’s a slight pout on his face, like he’s upset to be missing out on the conversation. He’s bracing himself against the frame of the car door, his legs swung over the seat, as you gingerly approach.
“What?” you ask.  
This close, you can smell his faint cologne, mingling with the scent of alcohol and sweat. 
This close, you can see the way his eyes are slightly unfocused; his mouth, still bearing the hint of a glowing smile. 
“You—” he croaks out. 
His gaze darts to your lips. It’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment. You don’t miss it.
Your breath stills in your chest, and Soonyoung is looking up at your face like he’s searching for something. Denial? Reciprocity? 
He must not have found what he was looking for, because the words he grumbles are, “I’m going to hurl.” 
Wonwoo’s panicked shriek cuts through the otherwise quiet parking lot. 
“Not in my fucking car, asswipe!” 
--
Soonyoung’s hangover the next day is comical. 
You can’t help but snicker as he rolls up to the showcase’s dry run with shades over his eyes and a large cup of coffee in his shaking hands. 
“You suck,” he hisses to you as he slides on to the bench next to you. Teacher Kang is busy heralding the students, getting them into their costumes and places, so the two of you have a minute alone before the hubbub strikes up. 
“You’re the one who can’t hold down his alcohol,” you respond, eyeing his slumped form with amusement. 
Soonyoung mumbles some incoherent cusses, his free hand reaching up to rub at his temples. 
“God, my last memory was Hong coming up to the table,” he grouses. 
You’re reminded of the inordinate amount of alcohol he downed in your brief absence. I wonder what’s gotten into him, Wonwoo had said. 
“That clears,” you say sympathetically. 
There’s a moment’s pause before Soonyoung tentatively asks, “Did the two of you ever…?” 
You don’t immediately register what he’s asking about Joshua. When it hits you, though, you find a startled laugh sliding past your lips. Because there’s Wonwoo’s answer, even though you don’t recognize it then and there. 
“Hong? No, no.” For reasons you can’t quite explain, you feel compelled to tack on, “I haven’t really had the time to date.” 
“Oh.” It kills you, how Soonyoung almost sounds relieved. “Me, too. I mean— me neither.” 
“Ah.” 
“Running a dance studio is a lot of work.” 
“Right.” 
“And I’m sure— law school, right? That was a lot of work, too.” 
“Right, yeah.” 
It’s a stilted conversation, one heavy in its implications. The real things that the two of you want to say, want to address, linger on the surface, but neither of you seem to want to break that ice. 
You settle, instead, for this moment. For the negligible distance between the two of you on the bleachers and how it closes, slow but steady, like the ticking hands of a clock. 
Your shoulder just barely presses against Soonyoung’s. 
Neither of you move away. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“Because I love you, and I miss you.” 
“You’re lying.” 
“Only one of those is a lie, actually.” 
--
You’ve always liked being front of house during the showcase.
You’re a familiar face to the parents of the children, to the community members who attended the event every year. Their warmth is a welcome reprieve from your nerves. 
You make small talk. You usher people to their seats. You try not to wonder where the hell Kwon Soonyoung is. 
Despite having his calling card, you haven’t deigned to reach out. It’s tucked away in a drawer at home; you don’t quite know what to do with it. Maybe you’ll actually save his number one of these days. 
You’re entertaining the thought when you feel a hand at your elbow. The smiling face of Iseul’s mother— the pompous but well-meaning Mrs. Hwang— greets you. 
“There’s no need for that,” she says with a chuckle as you fold into a bow. You don’t miss the way she nonetheless preens at your formalities. It’s why you keep up with it. 
You let her link your arms and, out of instinct, you begin to lead her to one of the free seats in the auditorium. “Are you excited for this year’s show, Mrs. Hwang?” you ask conversationally. 
“You know it,” she answers. “Iseul has been talking non-stop about her performance, but she refuses to tell me what song to expect!”
You’d recognize Mrs. Hwang’s baiting tendencies from a mile away. With a curt giggle, you tell her, “You’ll find out soon enough, Mrs. Hwang. I promise it’ll be worth the suspense.” 
The older woman gives you a disapproving frown, but it smooths out as she seems to realize a change in topic. The auditorium is notably a little more packed this year, enough to have the volunteers bringing out additional Monobloc chairs. 
“I guess people want to see what the Kwon boy has done to the showcase, hm?” she notes, speaking into existence the fact that you’ve neglected to acknowledge so far.
Surprisingly, you don’t feel bitter about it. People were showing up to assess Soonyoung’s choreography, to bask in the product of his labor. There’s a twinge of something in your chest. It could almost be mistaken for pride.  
Mrs. Hwang tacks on, “Mighty shame.” 
That throws you off. “Pardon?” 
She doesn’t respond immediately, her eyes zeroing in on an empty chair by the front of the stage. She practically drags you there as she continues, “It’s really so unfortunate. The whole thing about his dance studio tanking.” 
The whole thing about his dance studio tanking. 
What the hell was she talking about? 
The universe, once again, had to be messing with you. You’re convinced this is some skit. Some buildup to a joke. 
But the punch line never comes, and you end up admitting, “I don’t think I’ve heard about that yet, Mrs. Hwang.” 
Your voice is surprisingly even for someone whose world was closing in. If Mrs. Hwang can sense the trepidation in your demeanor, she makes no indication of it. You’re grateful for her obliviousness, even, because she only keeps talking as she settles into her seat. 
“My girls are always talking about it,” she says, referring to the group of forty-something-year-old women who like to gather and gossip in the town’s sole Italian restaurant. “That’s why he’s back. Couldn’t hack it out there.” 
When she glances up at you with a scrutinizing expression, you just know you’re not going to like what she says next. You’re proven right when she says, “We thought he’d ask for your help, actually. Isn’t liquidation your specialty?” 
You can’t be bothered to correct the woman over the technicalities. You give her a tight smile, a nod of your head, a polite ‘goodbye’ as you take your leave. 
There are much more pressing matters, you think to yourself, as you go to greet more guests, make sure the music is all queued up, check in on the host’s script.
You didn’t spend over a month preparing for tonight only to lose yourself before it’s even begun. You refuse to let the new piece of information trip you up, even though it has your heart acting like a caged animal underneath your ribs. 
The showcase goes by without a hitch. The children are more than phenomenal; they’re perfect. 
The audience is enamored. The teachers are overjoyed. 
You want nothing more than to go home and tear up Soonyoung’s calling card. 
As the showcase wraps up to enthusiastic applause, Teacher Kang snatches the microphone from the host for one last announcement. 
“This wouldn’t have been possible without two of our very tireless volunteers,” she says, and— from backstage— you wince. Before you know it, you’re being pushed out onto the stage.
Soonyoung exits from the other stage wing.
He’s managed to evade you the entire showcase, and now you realize why. In his arms, he holds a monstrous bouquet. Yellow acacias, striped carnations, bunch-flowered daffodils. Your first thought is how expensive it might have been, to find out-of-season blooms in the thick of winter. 
Your second thought is that you want to hurl, but that’s neither here nor there. 
As Soonyoung strides in from the other side of the stage to meet you in the middle, he sees it. He sees the hint of trepidation underneath your practiced grin, sees the way your eyes flash momentarily. His own grin drops ever so slightly. 
But the two of you are in an auditorium, on a stage in front of Namyangju’s best and brightest. Neither of you can afford to give voice to what you feel. 
Soonyoung hands you the bouquet. You nod in acknowledgement. 
The two of you instinctively reach for each other’s hands.
You hadn’t noticed that the crowd had gotten to their feet. A standing ovation. It feels like an echo of the past, a cruel reminder of an alternate universe. 
Even so, your smile never wavers. Neither does Soonyoung’s. He raises your hand. The two of you take a bow. 
The Great Pretenders put on their best show yet.
--
“What was that?” 
A part of you is surprised that Soonyoung found you. The moment the showcase officially concluded, you were booking it out of the auditorium before he could even get a word in edgewise. Gracefully, the dozens of people hounding him for photos and small talk let you widen the gap. 
Still, he caught up. Just as you were passing by the godforsaken playground that had witnessed the ending of it all. Oh, the universe and its jokes. 
Soonyoung is red-faced, like you’d embarrassed him somehow despite the convincing act you both put on. Your fingers tighten around the bouquet he gave you. 
“What was that?” he repeats, and what little restraint you had left snaps. 
“Why did you come home?” you ask point blank. 
“Teacher Kang—” 
“Don’t,” you snipe. “Teacher Kang asked you last year. And the year before that. Why did you come home now, Soonyoung?” 
The question hangs heavy in the early December evening. You and Soonyoung are staring at each other, mere paces away from the swing set where the two of you made your choices.
He doesn’t answer right away, so you prompt him with, “Is it because of me?” 
Soonyoung misinterprets the question. You can see the way his eyes light up, the way his lips part like he’s just about to say something of consequence. 
You almost feel guilty about the next words that tear out of you. “You’re going bankrupt,” you say, and the hope on his face fizzles out like a popped lightbulb. 
“Who told you—” he chokes out. 
“So it’s true?” 
Kwon Soonyoung is struck dumb.
Soonyoung, whose mouth ran faster than his brain. Soonyoung, who was full of quick quips and witty remarks. 
Soonyoung, who is now staring at you like you’ve told him the world was about to end. 
You contemplate throwing his bouquet in his face. It will make for a dramatic, pretty picture— the petals falling onto the soft snow, the fuck you loud despite being unspoken. For now, you only clutch the arrangement closer to your chest like it's a lifeline.
“And here I thought—” Your breath hitches on a scoff, the puff of air visible in the chill. “I was a fool who thought you came back for me.” 
The truth cuts. Your laugh bitterly as you go on, “I guess you still did, though, huh? Because you need me. What? Were you hoping to avail of cheap services, Kwon?” 
“That’s not—” 
“That’s exactly it!” Your tone is shrill. Soonyoung always did bring out the worst in you. “You were away for six years, and now you’ve come crawling back—” 
“Do you think I wanted to fail?” 
Soonyoung’s voice rises, his frustration bubbling over to match yours. 
“I starved out there,” he bites out. “Ate cup noodles for a year so the studio could afford rent for one more month. Sold half of my stuff so I could pay my employees. It was so hard.” 
The way Soonyoung’s voice breaks on the last word makes something in your heart clench. For a moment, you think it might be pity, but you kill the feeling as soon as it tries to make itself known. 
You don’t want to pity Soonyoung, which is both an insult and a grace. 
“Why didn’t you say anything?” you ask instead, even though a part of you already knows the answer. 
A sound that’s almost like a delirious laugh escapes him. “Not when I was the one who made it out,” he responds. 
You never realized how much you’d prefer Soonyoung’s cocky, self-assured self over this version of him. This boy— man— who is defeated and resigned. Even in your anger, there is a small part of you that wants to do something to wipe that look off his face.  
“I made it out,” he repeats wearily, like it’s taking everything in him to face the truth of being Namyangju’s failing poster boy. 
He continues, “I gave up everything to be there. I gave up you.”
Your grip on the bouquet tightens. There’s a faint prickle behind your eyes, but you refuse to let those tears fall. “You did that like it was easy,” you mumble, your voice just loud enough to carry. 
Soonyoung meets your gaze. He looks like he’s on the verge of sobbing himself, but his tone brokers no arguments. 
“It wasn’t,” he says.
And that was that. 
You’ve never been able to stand not having the last word. You clear your throat, attempting to speak through the lump forming there. “Yeah, well,” you say shakily. “You’re not the only one who lost something.” 
It’s a shitty comparison and you know it. Soonyoung’s sacrifices dwarf yours. You weren’t the one who moved away, who bore the weight of an entire city’s pride. 
Thankfully, Soonyoung doesn’t call you out on it. He only takes a sharp exhale and turns his gaze away, his eyes fixed on the swings. 
When he speaks, his voice is quiet. Almost like the words are an afterthought. “For the record— that night?” he says. You don’t have to ask for clarification. You know exactly which night he’s talking about. 
“I was hoping you’d change my mind,” he confesses. 
A physical blow to the chest would have hurt less. You stagger, but you try to mask it like you’re taking a step back. Like you’re walking away, even as your eyes never leave Soonyoung’s face. 
“And I was hoping I’d be worth staying for,” you say with a humorless laugh, the distance between the two of you growing, growing, growing. 
Your parting words are the proverbial nail on the coffin: “I guess we both didn’t get what we wanted.” 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“I didn’t know where else to go.” 
--
For once, Jihoon and Wonwoo have nothing to say. 
No wisecrack. No jab. No exchange of money in some backhanded bet. 
They listen as you recount the salient points of the argument. You keep the personal stuff out of your own retelling, focusing only on the broad strokes. The biggest concern lies in one nagging question. 
“Did you know?” you ask, your hands bracing the table in front of you. 
“No,” Jihoon says immediately. 
Wonwoo chimes in with a quiet “Me neither.” 
You know these boys. You’ve seen them lie to their parents about their homework, lie to their girlfriends about where they were. 
They’re not lying now. You know that much. 
A shaky exhale escapes you. It’s been three days since the fight and you’ve yet to run into Soonyoung. You wouldn’t hold it past him to avoid you, either by steering clear from the places you frequent or getting on the first bus back to Seoul. 
“When he asked about how you were doing,” Jihoon says gruffly. “I thought it was just— yearning or some shit.” 
“Me, too,” Wonwoo adds. 
Yearning or shit. The words almost make you laugh. 
The pinched expression on your face prompts Wonwoo to ask, “Are you upset?” 
‘Upset’ feels like too light of a term to describe the maelstrom of emotions within you. There are facts: You wish you had known. You could have afforded to be kinder. You are afraid that you will never stop being angry. 
You answer Wonwoo’s question with a mumbled, “Would it be cliché to say that I’m just disappointed?” 
“Ah.” His face is thoughtful, understanding. “Because you expected something from him.” 
“That’s not it,” you say dryly. 
It is. 
The three of you lapse into contemplative silence. Jihoon breaks it after a couple of moments, his tone soft and serious. 
“I know it’s shitty,” he says. “But I do hope that he’s okay.” 
That would be the mature thing to do. Even Wonwoo is nodding his agreement, willing to set aside his own gripes in favor of well wishing.
You can’t bring yourself to do the same. The platitude sticks in your throat until you feel like it will suffocate you. 
--
Soonyoung has an alibi for not showing up to Teacher Kang’s post-processing session. 
You’re grateful that the elderly woman doesn’t go on about the details of his absence. She mentions something about him being busy with the holidays, and you take it in stride. 
You try not to picture the way his jaw might’ve twitched before sending out the text, before lying to get away. 
“Everybody loved the show,” Teacher Kang gushes. “I’m so proud of you, dear. I really do hope we can have Soonyoung on board more often.” 
An offhand joke of “we’ll probably be seeing a lot more of him in the near future” crosses your mind, but you hold it back. You may be calloused, but you’re not heartless. 
You nod. You agree with Teacher Kang. You hold it together, up until you’re halfway out the door and she calls you back for one last word. 
“You know,” she starts. “I remember the two of you when you were kids.”
You’d been dreading this— the inevitable trip down memory lane. You thought you had escaped it, but now you’re facing it with one of the world’s fakest smiles. 
“That was a long time ago,” you say. 
“It was.” There’s a glimmer in Teacher Kang’s eye. Something unbearably tender. “Soonyoung always made you smile a certain way. You’ve started smiling like that again. It’s nice to see.” 
You don’t know how you manage to laugh it off, to bid Teacher Kang goodbye and make your way back to your car. Your hands are shaking as you slide into the driver’s seat of your car.
The school’s parking lot is gracefully empty. It’s a good thing, because then no one can hear you as you fold in half and screech. 
You scream until your voice goes hoarse, until the windows shake. 
You scream until you can’t hear the way your chest is caving in on your heart. 
--
Your theory of running into everyone but Soonyoung is proven when you’re sooner to cross paths with Mama Kwon.
Your carts nearly collide in the pasta aisle of the grocery store. You’re already bowing, apologizing profusely, when you realize that you recognize the woman holding a can of pesto.
She says your name with the fondness that could rival your own mother’s. It takes everything in you not to bolt at the sound of it.
“What a coincidence,” she says with a tinkling laugh. 
You know in your heart of hearts that it’s exactly that. A coincidence. Still, you can’t help but think some higher power is out to get you. Call it karmic justice. 
“How have you been, Mrs. Kwon?” you ask, feeling the slight nip of not addressing the woman as you typically might. 
She notices too, if her slightly furrowed brow is any indication. She manages to rearrange her expression into something more neutral as she answers. 
“You know how the holidays are,” she says, wielding her pesto bottle in an absentminded gesture. “It’s a full house!” 
That stings. 
You’ve heard from your mother how the past couple of years, Mama Kwon would complain about her household feeling empty during the holidays. The seat at the dining table stayed vacant for the son that refused to come home. 
You don’t know how much she knows about the state of the dance studio, so you decide to play it safe. “I’m sure it is,” you say. 
The small talk is tearing you up from the inside, but you don’t want to be rude. Don’t want to be a stranger to the woman who once cared for you so deeply— who probably still cares for you, if you really thought of it. 
The question is out of you before you can hold it back. “Are you with Soonyoung?” 
What would you even do with that information? Would you have booked it if she said ‘yes, he’s right around the corner’? Would you have cried if she revealed that he headed back to the city? 
You’re not sure. 
Here’s what happens instead: A sigh nearly breaks out of you when Mama Kwon responds, “He’s in the next shop over, getting some repairs for the car. We’re meeting at Italianni's for lunch.” 
Still here, a small voice murmurs in the back of your mind. Hasn’t left for Seoul just yet. 
You shake the thought away as Mama Kwon delicately prompts, “Would you like to join us?” 
Mama Kwon is probably not inviting you solely out of politeness. She’s making the offer because she wants you to be there. She wants you to be at the same table as her family, sharing a pizza and whatever the restaurant’s special for the day is. She wants you to sit next to Soonyoung and play nice, even though you currently can’t stomach the thought of being anywhere near him. 
For some reason, it makes you want to cry. 
To lose somebody in a breakup is painful, yes. To lose all the things that came with it— like the family that you might have learned to love yourself? 
A different type of ache all together. 
Your smile is so painfully fake, almost hurting the edges of your mouth, as you try to let her down gently. “I wouldn’t want to impose,” you say. “But thank you for thinking of me.” 
For once, The Great Pretenders is met with negative reviews. 
Then again, nothing ever really escaped Mama Kwon’s scrutinizing gaze. She surveys your expression and purses her lips. You can practically see the way that the cogs turn in her brain, as if trying to decide on the response that will do the least amount of damage. 
It doesn’t matter how gentle she tries to be. The words that she eventually extends still hurt like a bitch. 
“He still talks about you a lot,” she muses. 
Oh. 
“Oh?” 
“Nothing bad,” Mama Kwon says quickly. She laughs again, smiling very much like how her son might. 
“Just—” She leans in. Your body autonomously mimics the action.
You’re reminded of being younger, of when she’d do the exact same thing to whisper you some ‘secret’. I got Soonyoung new shoes for Christmas. The car side mirror is busted because of me. I packed you extra of those choco pies you like. 
Today, she whispers, “I think he came home for you.” 
--
“Why did you come home?”
“I had a nightmare that I visited and I couldn’t recognize a thing. All the street names were different. The buildings were new. I kept running, trying to look for something familiar, and I just— I was just lost. And that sucked. This was mine once. You know?” 
“It still is.” 
“You don’t have to lie to me. It isn’t anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time.” 
--
“You know, I really have missed your mother’s cooking.”
You smile ruefully at Soonyoung’s words. 
He’s digging heartily into your mother’s signature kimchi jjigae, and you have half the mind to tell him to close his mouth as he chews. Instead, you let him devour the dish. 
It had taken a little bit of masterminding to pull this off. Maybe it would’ve been easier to send Soonyoung a text of Let’s meet up, but your blasted pride was one of the last things you had left. You’d be damned if you were going to give that away, too. 
You enlisted Jihoon and Wonwoo’s help in orchestrating this, in convincing Soonyoung that he could sneak into your family restaurant undetected. Sure, the blonde had been more than a little miffed when his friends ditched him and left him with you, though his irritation was short-lived in the face of the food he had been craving for God-knows-how-long. 
“Maybe that’s because you’ve only been eating shin ramyun,” you point out. 
Soonyoung barely looks up from his bowl as he shovels more food into his mouth. “Low blow,” he says in between bites.  
You wince. “Sorry.” 
“You’re not really sorry.” 
“No, I am.” 
That drags Soonyoung’s attention away from his stew. 
His guarded expression slots right back into place, like he’s realizing you have some ulterior motive beyond feeding him. He rests his spoon against his bowl and leans back into his chair. With one eyebrow raised, he says, “This feels a lot like the lead-in to a breakup.” 
A bark of laughter escapes you. Of course Soonyoung would make a joke like that. 
You reach into your pocket until you’ve found what you’re looking for. Wordlessly, you slide it across the table until it’s resting by Soonyoung’s hand.
“I’ll give you a discount,” you tell him. “But only, like, fifteen percent. Anything more than that is just pushing it.” 
Your calling card stares up at him. It bears your name along with your firm’s address, your phone number, and your title. Consumer bankruptcy lawyer. 
Even now, Soonyoung can’t help but be expressive. His wide eyes are fixed on the card you’ve laid out. For a moment, your offer hangs in precious balance, but you don’t have a single urge to take it back. It’s entirely, wholly for Soonyoung to take. 
He asks the question that you know is coming. “Why are you doing this?” he says, his words like a raw nerve. 
You almost smile. Almost. 
In the past week that you’ve mulled it over, you’ve reached at least a dozen different answers. 
Because Jihoon and Wonwoo worry about you.
Because it’s the right thing to do. 
Because Teacher Kang talks about you like you hung the stars and the moon. 
Because I owe you one. 
Because I don’t want you to let Mama Kwon down.
Because I’ve missed you, and I want you to be happy, even if that happiness has nothing to do with me. 
The answer that eventually, finally comes to you is none of the above. 
You simply say, “Because you’re my favorite ex.” 
--
The call asking for your help never comes. 
A couple of days after that lunch, you find something on your desk. Your calling card. 
If it weren’t for one small thing, you would’ve thought that it was a stray card of yours that you’d forgotten. But then you catch sight of a doodle in one corner right before you’re about to tuck the card away in your closet. 
A crude drawing of a tiger, with crescent-shaped eyes and a toothy smile. 
You instantly know what it means. Sure enough, you hear from Jihoon that same evening. 
Kwon Soonyoung has left as quietly as he arrived. 
There is relief. There is regret. How you feel ultimately doesn’t matter, because you knew it would always come to this— a choice being made.
He left. You stayed. 
The world spins madly on. 
The last of the snow is melting on an unassuming Tuesday afternoon when your phone pings in your pocket. You fish it out to find two texts from an unknown number. The first is a link to a news article. 
You’re suspicious, but curiosity always did kill the cat. The article loads and fills your screen.
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Eye of the Tiger Dance Studio To Start Offering Child-Friendly Dance Lessons
By: Xu Minghao
SEOUL, South Korea – Eye of the Tiger Dance Studio, founded by renowned choreographer and performer Kwon Soonyoung, better known as HOSHI, is expanding its mission to inspire a new generation of dancers. The studio announced it will officially begin offering child-friendly dance lessons following a successful pilot program last month.
Parents and young aspiring dancers can look forward to the official launch of child-friendly lessons early next year. According to HOSHI, the initiative aims to “nurture the joy of dance from an early age and build a foundation for self-expression and confidence.”
The studio piloted its first all-children dance classes in January, offering a creative and supportive environment for young dancers to explore movement. The program’s success has led to an upcoming showcase featuring the children at the KB Art Hall in Gangnam. 
HOSHI, celebrated for his innovative choreography and passion for dance, revealed the inspiration behind this new direction. 
“There was a time I felt lost, like I had lost my purpose for dance,” HOSHI shared, reflecting on a challenging period in his career. “I was going through the motions, using dance as a way to distract myself from everything else, rather than embracing it as a part of who I am.” 
“But I realized something important recently,” he goes on. “Dance shouldn’t be an escape or a vacation. It should be a homecoming.” 
And that’s exactly what they hope to do with their upcoming showcase. Details on the event can be found here. 
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The second text bears only a couple of words, but it changes the ending of everything.
There’s only one seat that will matter in that auditorium, it reads.
Please make sure it’s not empty. 
--
“Why did you come home?” 
“Home had you.”
655 notes · View notes
bbydoll18xx · 3 months ago
Text
She’s Such a Good Girl (Part 6)
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Your newfound fascination with Paige's abs leads to some fun.
Paige Bueckers x reader
Masterlist
Word Count: 1.8k
Themes: ab riding, general horniness
A/N: well guys, it only took like idk 4 months and a lot of bullying but here she is! I hope this lives up to your expectations.
I wasn’t planning on doing this but it’s my birthday, and so, here is my gift to you LOL
Let the smut commence ;)
~
“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout, babe?” 
Your head whips towards the husky drawl that you had become very familiar with over the last few weeks. Paige’s voice had an effect over your entire body. Your belly would roll in want and your cheeks would heat up, spreading down over your chest and settling into a pool of unbridled want. 
Paige Bueckers had ripped away every single inhibition you had clasped to your entire life, and you were now standing with the shreds of your past life laying at your feet. 
She had come into your life, teasing you first with the edits on your phone and passing glances before slamming you into a delicious fantasy, rivaling those in the romance books you liked to read. 
She had taught you to open yourself up, to learn how to please yourself and her. She had taught you that it was okay to let yourself fall head over heels, and to stop intentionally keeping yourself from happiness to protect yourself from the unknown.
So, here you were, throwing yourself to the wolves, and not giving a single, flying fuck. 
You had never been happier. 
Paige had caught you in another fantasy. It was difficult to not get caught up in her. And even though you had the real deal dancing right in front of your face, the shame of admitting some of your more filthy fantasies was the reason you were keeping your mouth shut.
You clear your throat in an attempt to keep from stuttering, your voice wavering as you try to swallow the lust brewing in your body.
“N-nothing.” 
Fuck.
Paige looks at you suspiciously, grabbing her towel off the bench next to where you were currently daydreaming and wiping off a bead of sweat that was traveling down her toned stomach.
Paige had begged you to come watch her practice, and you had put up a fight, knowing she liked to practice in just a sports bra. Paige’s abs had been at the forefront of your mind for the past two weeks, taking over any rational thoughts.
You were a very focused person, and you always had been. Your grades were phenomenal, but your mind had been hijacked by images of pale, toned flesh. And you did not know how to stop it. 
Your eyes trail to Paige’s stomach, and your tongue peeks out involuntarily, sweeping over your bottom lip in a wanton fashion that did not go unnoticed by the blonde. 
“My eyes are up here,” she teases, sitting down on the bench and leaning into you, bumping her shoulder with yours. “You got that horny look in your eyes again,” she deadpans.
You splutter, desperately trying to find the words to defend yourself against her wildly astute observation. 
She laughs, the sound echoing loudly through the empty gym. 
“I like your abs,” you mumble, unable to keep eye contact from the embarrassment of your confession. 
“You do?” Paige questions, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. 
You look at her with a disbelieving look. “Well, uh, yeah…” you trail. You pick at your fingernails, feeling anxious from the conversation. “I can’t stop thinking about them.”
Paige pulls you into a searing kiss, distracting you from your racing thoughts. She licks into your open mouth, unspoken promises swapping between the two of you as you make out in the empty gym. 
“You could always ride them,” she suggests casually, a glint in her eyes giving away her practiced air of nonchalance. 
“Who’s the horny one now?”
~
You were definitely still the horny one, it seemed, as you laid in bed later that afternoon, panties soaked as you found yourself completely swept up in the idea of riding her. The thought had invaded the more rational side of your brain, and you were now being bombarded with filthy images of your sopping pussy dragging across Paige’s abdomen.
Last month you were a hopeless virgin. And now here you were, wanting to ride Uconn’s most beloved basketball star. 
You had made the decision before it even registered in your love drunk, horny-as-hell brain, and before you could stop yourself, you were marching across the hall to Paige’s apartment to demand that she take off her shirt and let you have your way with her.
Politely, of course. You weren’t an animal. 
You enter, not even bothering to knock, and you head towards Paige’s room. She was sitting at her desk, headphones on, and working on a paper for a class. 
She looks up with a smug smirk as you linger for a moment in the doorway, your reservations slamming back into you. You meet her gaze, your eyes wide and hopeful, mixing deliciously with the want pouring from your pupils. 
Paige swivels in her chair, muscular legs spread dominantly, inviting you to perch primly on her thigh. She pats them, beckoning you to come to her. Your legs pull you towards her, your thoughts clouded with need, and you sit in her lap, curling into her presence. 
She strokes your cheek, her thumb rubbing across your soft skin in a way that has you sighing in pleasure as you sink into her warm embrace.
“You wanna ride me, don’t you?” She whispers against your ear, her breath sending anticipatory tingles down your spine.
“Yes, please,” you whimper, your voice catching as she begins tracing patterns onto your inner thigh close to your dripping pussy. 
“So polite f’me, aren’t you, baby?” Her voice is thick with want and husky. You wanted to drown in her words. 
“Please,” you whine, the word hanging on your tongue in a pathetic lilt. You were too desperate to care, the overwhelming need brewing in your pussy overpowering the anxiety you felt earlier. 
“Get on the bed,” Paige instructs, and you do exactly as she says, scrambling off of her lap and going to sit on the edge of it. She stares at you for a moment, wordlessly contemplating her next move as she runs a hand across her jaw, admiring your blatant display of submission. 
“Such a good girl,” she states, and the praise sends your head spinning. She stands up and walks right up to you, your eyes peering up curiously in a futile attempt to gauge her next move. 
“Clothes off, baby,” she says, and you waste no time pushing your leggings down your thighs and tossing your t-shirt onto the floor, leaving you in a lace bralette and a thong that was obviously soaked from your own arousal.
Paige notices, and as you lay down, she traces the damp spot with her finger, sending a jolt through your body as your swollen clit feels her touch. 
“Who got you this wet?” She questions, wanting you to tell her just how much you needed this. 
“You. Only you,” you reply breathlessly, already squirming under the heat of her touch. 
“Damn right,” she brags, tugging your bra off and leaving you nearly naked. Your nipples get even harder in the cool air of Paige’s bedroom before her warm mouth attaches to your right tit, licking and biting. 
You moan at the contact, your hands finding her stomach as she sucks hickies to the underside of your breasts, your fingers stroking over the flexing muscles underneath you. 
She was wearing too much clothing, and you whine in protest, begging for her to take off her clothes so there’d be less of a stark power imbalance between you. 
Her mouth leaves your skin as she kneels to take off her shirt and sports bra. Your pupils dilate as you get full access to the creamy skin and rippling muscles that you had become so fond of. You pull her down to meet you in a lustful kiss, moans pouring out of both of your mouths and echoing off of the walls in a passionate display. 
The arousal was building up in a way that was almost painful for you. “Please, need you so bad,” you cry, already trying to get on top of her. 
“I gotchu, baby,” she teases, shedding herself of her sweatpants and her boxers and laying down on the bed, head against her large pile of fluffy pillows. 
Your soaked thong gets thrown on the floor with the rest of the discarded clothes, leaving you fully naked. The afternoon sunshine peeking through the sheer curtains highlights your own arousal leaking down and coating your inner thighs in a way that was downright provocative. 
You straddle Paige, who guides your hips with strong hands anchoring you. Your hair is thrown over your shoulder, ass up in the air as you try to find a good position. 
Paige settles you down onto her stomach, immediately flexing. You gasp as you feel the tight abdominal muscles under your pussy, the feeling foreign and naughty. 
You drag your hips up and down, looking down as you see the aftermath of your dripping arousal pooling onto Paige’s skin. 
You were already panting, the erotic act leaving you needy and desperate to cum on top of the blonde girl. 
“C’mon,” she smirks. “Move those hips, ma.” 
And because you’d do absolutely anything Paige requested of you, you got to work creating a steady rhythm, alternating between grinding down onto her taut stomach and dragging your slick pussy up and down the length of it. 
“Feels so good,” you gasp, already nearing the brink of pleasure. “So, so good.” You were babbling, your thoughts clouded from the overwhelming sensations, fucked out and chasing your impending orgasm. 
Paige slaps your ass, one hand still gripping the flesh of your waist, the jolt of pain rushing through you, turning into pleasurable sparks. 
You lean down to connect your lips in another heated, sloppy kiss as you near the edge. Your movements lose the fluidity, and Paige, noticing, grabs your hips with a strong grasp and helps you ride out the final few strokes before you cum with a loud cry of her name on your tongue. 
Your hips stutter as you become overstimulated, your swollen clit begging for a break from the friction. 
Your breaths are ragged as you come down from your high, moving your hair out of your face and meeting Paige’s, who was grinning widely. 
“That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” she declares, pressing a kiss to your palm.
You giggle, still in shock, and you go to move off of her, your eyes widening as you see the amount of slick you left behind. 
Without thinking, you dip your head and lick a line up her abdomen, tasting the salt of her skin and your own arousal, and Paige’s breath hitches as your tongue traces her abs. 
“Oh, you’re definitely the horny one in this relationship,” she rasps, unsure if you were still the same timid girl she had met last month. 
You reach up to place a sweet kiss on her lips. “I’m okay with that,” you whisper.
~
Please let me know what you think! And as always, my inbox is open for requests or whatever else.
xoxo katy
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eternalguk · 1 month ago
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Pink Hearts & Black Clouds || jjk. — 01
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Love me at my lowest, I’ll love you when you’re barely holding on
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↠ Pairing : Jungkook x Reader
↠ Summary : Jeon Jungkook is the epitome of a brooding grunge. Moody, distant, and always a little too sarcastic. A grumpy, tattooed college student who barely tolerates anyone… except you. Somehow, the girl who’s a whirlwind of pink hearts and strawberry lipgloss is the one who keeps dear Jungkook on his toes.
But you must admit… behind that gruff exterior, there’s a side of him only you get to see—gentle, caring, and ready to spoil you in his own way. Everyone else may see him as the tough guy with a permanent scowl, but you know better. Jungkook’s heart? It’s all yours.
↠ Genre : established relationship au, college au, grunge!bf x bimbo!gf, angst, fluff & smut
↠ Word count : 3.8K
↠ Warnings : swearing, making out, teasing, exhibitionism (sex in a lecture theatre), unprotected sex, penetrative sex, rough sex, slight dumbification, dirty talk, begging, oral sex (m. receiving), ass smacking, scratching, dom!jungkook x sub!reader, use of pet names, sex on a desk (he hits it from the back at one point), a very moody but flirtatious Jungkook paired with bimbo!oc deserves its own warning :) - I think that’s about it?
↠ A/n : Hi there ; here it is! Chapter 01 of my first series, ‘pink hearts and black clouds’ which I am so excited to share. This story means a lot to me as it explores two completely different personalities finding their way together. With bimbo, sunshine!reader and grunge, grumpy!jk, I hope you enjoy exploring this world as much as I loved creating it. It’s messy, it’s fun, it’s emotional, it’s steamy (at times 👀) and it’s absolutely everything I could ask for! I’d love to hear what you think - your reactions, favourite part, or even anything you’d like to see from them in the future! Feedback / comments are always appreciated. Thank you for giving my story a chance & happy reading 🦢.
↠ Song : ‘Closer’ by Jungkook / ‘Good for you’ by Selena G
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❧ Chapter 01 : Lipgloss & Leather
prev. || next  || series masterlist || masterlist
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A stream of light filters through the wooden, venetian blinds of the lecture theatre windows, slicing through the warm, cinnamon-scented air.
God bless Ms. Choi for her diffusers.
The ambience of the empty theatre is a sharp contrast to the wintry chill that is dancing around outside. The time of season where it bites at your cheeks and refuses to let go. Inside though, the warmth feels like a holiday cocoon, the kind that makes you shed layers and forget the frost clinging to the world beyond your surrounding.
Unfortunately, despite the serene atmosphere, you don’t feel any less distracted.
You are perched in a chair at the back of the theatre, mindlessly playing with your pink glitter gel pen while Jungkook sits on the desk in front of you, legs spread arrogantly, one boot perched on the seat beside yours. The light catches on the silver chain hanging from his neck, a stark contrast to his black t-shirt and ripped dry-denim jeans.
You should be focusing on taking notes for the upcoming midterm, like he told you to do, but instead, your eyes keep wandering back to the powerful man in front of you.
Powerful because he consumes your entire being.
You pout as you swirl a strand of your hair around your finger, oblivious to the smirk curling on Jungkook’s lips as he catches onto your little daydream.
“Not taking notes, princess?” he asks, tone dripping with mockery.
“Erm…” you blink at him, momentarily caught off guard. “I was… thinking?”
Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Thinking. Right. About the syllabus or about how good I look right now?”
Your cheeks flame as he leans forward, chin propped lazily on his tattooed hand. His dark hair falls messily over his face, making him look even more impossibly cocky.
“Both?” you meekly offer, putting down the glitter pen and propping your chin onto your soft hands.
His grin stretches wider. “You’re cute when you lie.”
You smile at the compliment as Jungkook reaches out and grabs the gel pen from the desk, inspecting it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. The sight of his tattooed fingers gripping the sparkly pink plastic makes your heart race.
“Why do you even need this?” he teases, holding the pen just out of reach when you try to grab it back. “It’s ugly, you definitely don’t use it to write anything down and it’s pink.”
Jungkook grimaces, observing the pen as though it’s a foreign object.
You huff and pout harder, crossing your arms. “You said you’d help me study, but all you’re doing is being mean!”
“Mean?” Jungkook cackles, the sound low and gravelly. “Doll, I’m just keeping it real. Someone has to be with you.”
“Ugh, you’re the worst!” you whine, trying again to snatch the pen, but Jungkook is faster. He swiftly moves it behind his back, staring you down with his usual, conceited smirk.
“And yet, here you are. With me.”
“Because you don’t let me leave,” you shoot back, a small huff escaping as you try your best to appear annoyed.
But you aren’t. Not even a little bit.
Especially when Jungkook leans in even closer, his dark eyes scanning your face like he is trying to memorise every detail.
“C’mere,” he says softly, contrasting his suddenly serious expression.
You blink up at him, your heart fluttering. “Why?”
“Just come here, doll. Trust me.”
You hesitate for half a second before leaning forward, and that is all the invitation Jungkook needs to grab your chair and yank you forward, placing you between his legs. Your breath hitches as he cups your face in his hands, the rough pads of his thumbs stroking your cheeks.
“You’re too fucking pretty, you know that?” he murmurs, his voice so low and intimate that it sends a shiver down your spine.
“Jungkook…” You trail off, feeling utterly flustered and ridiculously warm under his intense gaze.
“What?” he questions, cocking his head playfully. “You don’t like compliments? Want me to call you dumb instead? You like that, huh?”
“N-no!” you stutter, and the way he leans in closer makes your head spin.
“That’s what I thought,” he says with a smirk, brushing his nose against yours. “My good girl likes being told she’s pretty.”
Your heart thumps loudly in your chest as his lips find yours, the kiss starting soft but quickly turning hungrier. Jungkook kicks your chair back before tugging you impossibly closer, his hands sliding down to your waist.
“Fuck, you taste sweet,” he mumbles against your lips.
“Strawberry lip gloss,” you utter, still fairly dazed.
He hums appreciatively, a smile now evident on his face. “My favourite.”
Jungkook’s hands slides lower, squeezing your hips as he deepens the kiss. You moan softly when he nips at your bottom lip, his pierced tongue sweeping over it a second later.
The sound of the theatre door creaking open in the distance makes you freeze.
The wind.
“Jungkook!” you hiss, pulling back slightly. “What if someone comes in?”
Jungkook grins, completely unbothered. “Free show?”
“You’re impossible!”
“You love it,” he teases, his lips brushing the corner of your mouth. His hands tug at the hem of your short pink skirt, hiking it up higher as his fingers toy with the edge of your lace underwear.
“Ahh, is this the pair I got you the other day?”
“Jungkook…” you mewl, voice barely above a whisper. You manage a quick nod, before falling to rest your head on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“My doll is always so needy,” he grumbles, his dark eyes locking with yours. “But I don’t mind.”
Jungkook continues to fiddle with your underwear, his hand slipping inside to cup your now soaked sex in his rough hands. “Nice and wet.”
You squirm in his grasp, your cheeks burning as he presses another kiss to your neck, nipping the sensitive skin until you gasp.
“Relax, baby,” he whispers. “I’ve got you, I promise.”
And with that, you give in - like you always do with your lover boy.
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“Get on the desk.”
Your heart races as you turn toward the heavy, wooden desk behind you. It feels cold beneath your palms as you hoist yourself up, the sound of your skirt rustling loud in the quiet space. Jungkook watches you intently, his eyes darkening as you settle onto the surface, your legs dangling over the edge.
He steps closer, his hands sliding up your thighs, pushing the hem of your skirt higher.
“Look at you,” Jungkook whispers, his voice dripping with approval. “So pretty. So perfect for me.”
You shiver, your hands gripping the edge of the desk as his fingers trace patterns on your skin. Jungkook’s touch feels electric, sending sparks shooting through your veins.
“J-Jungkook—” you stutter, your voice shaky.
“Shh,” he interrupts, his voice firm but gentle. “Just relax. Let me take care of you.”
Your boyfriend's words send a wave of warmth washing over you, and you let your body sink into the desk as he leans in, his breath hot against your neck. You feel the stubble on his jaw brushing against your skin, the faint scent of his woody cologne filling your senses.
“The way you give in,” he begins, his lips grazing your ear, “is fucking beautiful.”
A soft whimper escapes your glossy lips as his hands move higher, pushing your skirt up to your waist. His fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, and you gasp as he tugs them down, leaving you exposed.
Jungkook is quick to toss them onto his discarded leather jacket draped over the chair beside him. The delicate blush of your pink panties against the rugged, worn leather is a stark contrast that sends your mind spiraling.
“Stunning,” he utters to himself, eyes roaming over your body with a hunger that quickens your pulse.
Why the fuck is this man so hot?
You squirm, cheeks burning with embarrassment, but Jungkook doesn’t give you time to think. Not that there was much going on up there anyway.
His hands grips your hips, pulling you closer to the edge of the desk. He wraps your delicate legs around him, engulfing you in his embrace.
“As beautiful as you look like this,” Jungkook mutters, caressing your cheek, “I need you on your knees.”
You’re quick to comply, gently shoving Jungkook away. He cackles at your eagerness, but deep inside his brooding heart, he feels at awe.
“Open your mouth,” he commands, quick to change personas, voice rough with desire.
Again, you obey without hesitation, your lips parting as he unzips his jeans. His cock springs free, already hard and straining, and your eyes widen as he steps closer, the tip brushing against your lips.
“Suck,” he orders, his tone leaving no room for argument.
You hesitate for only a second before leaning forward, taking him into your mouth. His taste is salty and masculine, making you moan softly as you begin to move your tongue, your lips wrapping tightly around his girthy member.
Jungkook groans, his hand tangling in your hair as he guides your head up and down. “That’s it, doll,” he encourages, his voice thick with pleasure. “Take all of me.”
You sink deeper, gagging slightly as he hits the back of your throat. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you don’t stop, determined to please him.
“Such a good girl,” Jungkook effortlessly praises, his grip tightening in your hair. “You were fucking made for this.”
The words send a jolt of heat straight to your core, and you moan around him, the vibrations making him shudder.
“Fuck,” he curses, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. “I’ll be painting your face with cum if you keep that up.”
You pull back slightly, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Isn’t that what you like?”
Jungkook chuckles darkly, his thumb brushing over your swollen lips. “Not yet, baby. I have other plans for you first.”
Before you can even think of a response, Jungkook pulls you off the floor, spinning you around so your back is pressed against his chest. His hands roam over your body, cupping your breasts through your satin blouse as he nips at your earlobe.
“You’re turn, princess,” he whispers, voice sending shivers down your spine for the umpteenth time this afternoon.
You gasp as his cold fingers find their way between your legs, exploring your already soaked folds. He teases you mercilessly, touch light yet maddening enough that it has you writhing in his bulky arms.
“Please,” you beg, voice trembling with need.
You try to grind against him, but Jungkook’s firm grip stops you from doing so.
“Please what?” he taunts, feigning confusion, breath hot against your neck.
“Fuck me,” you whimper, the words spilling out effortlessly.
Jungkook grins, his teeth flashing in the dim light. “What my pretty doll wants, my pretty doll gets.”
In one swift motion, he lifts you onto the desk, positioning himself between your legs. Jungkook’s cock presses against your entrance, and you yelp as he thrusts into you in one smooth, powerful movement.
”God, why are you so tight?” Jungkook groans, his hands gripping your hips as he begins to move. “I fucked you this morning.”
The sensation, along with the reminder of your earlier shenanigans, is overwhelming and both the stretch and burn send waves of pleasure through you.
You wrap your legs around Jungkook’s slim waist, urging him deeper as he pounds into you relentlessly.
“Harder,” you whimper, your nails digging into his shoulders. “More.”
Jungkook obliges, slamming into you with a force that has the desk rocking against the floor. The sound echoes through the lecture theatre, mingling with your desperate moans and his guttural grunts.
“Could fuck this cunt all day,” Jungkook growls, his pace increasing as he mercilessly hammers his thick cock into you.
You cling to him, body trembling on the edge of release. But just as you’re about to let go, Jungkook pulls out, leaving you gasping and empty.
“No!” you cry, your eyes snapping open to meet his smug grin.
“Not yet,” he warns, voice firm. “You’re not cumming until I say so.”
You whimper, your body aching with need, but Jungkook isn’t done. He flips you over onto your stomach, hoisting your hips up so your ass is in the air.
“What are you doing?” you ask, your voice muffled by the desk.
“Giving you what you wanted,” he replies casually, his hands spreading your cheeks apart.
And then Jungkook is inside you again, filling you completely as he drives into you with a ferocity that leaves you utterly breathless.
Your sopping pussy lewdly squelches around Jungkook, completely soaking him. The sound turns the pair of you on further.
“Right there!” You mewl, pushing yourself back onto Jungkook, the pressure making you moan uncontrollably.
“Say it,” he demands, his voice rough with exertion. “Tell me who fucks you this good.”
“Y-you,” you stutter, your voice breaking as he hits your g-spot deep inside you. “This drenched pussy is yours.”
“And who do you belong to?” Your boyfriend growls, his hand coming down on your plump ass with a sharp smack.
“I’m yours!” you cry, the pain mixing with pleasure in the most delicious way. “Love the way you fuck me.”
Jungkook smirks, his pace slowing as he leans over you, lips brushing against your ear. “Good girl. Now come for me.”
As soon as the words leave his filthy mouth, your body convulses, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over you as you come undone. Jungkook isn’t far behind, his own release hitting him with a force that leaves him trembling.
The feeling of his cum oozing into you has you wanting to turn around and ride the fuck out of your lover boy.
Jungkook collapses on top of you, his breath hot against your skin as you both struggle to catch your breath.
“You okay, doll?” he asks, his voice softening as he turns you around and carefully seats you on the desk.
You nod, a small smile playing on your lips. “Yeah. I’m- wow.”
Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’re amazing.”
“And you, Bakugo,” you reply, your voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.
Your lover boy grins, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your back. “Round two after lunch?”
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The cafeteria hums with energy, alive with the noise of lively chatter and the sporadic clatter of trays hitting tables.
You’re perched on the bench beside Jungkook, a tray of half-eaten chips and an unopened can of Samjin Mango Soda sitting in front of you.
Across the table, Taehyung and Jimin are engaged in a heated debate about Haikyu, their hands waving dramatically as they try to outtalk each other about the anime the two of them are currently rewatching.
Well, truthfully speaking, all of you have been rewatching, but only the two of them are so deeply interested. Maybe Jungkook, but he’d never admit it.
Speaking of Jungkook, he is slouched against the table, one elbow propped up as his thumb scrolls lazily through your phone, staring at pictures you had taken of yourself today.
And he says he isn’t obsessed.
As usual, he hasn’t said much, just the occasional grunt when someone asks him a question. He looks effortlessly intimidating, his black hoodie (that you finally returned) pulled low over his forehead, his iconic silver chain around his neck catching the light and his usual scowl that is always imprinted on his beautiful face.
You, on the other hand, couldn’t be more of a contrast. You’re in your own world, a makeshift beauty station spread out in front of you, next to yours and Jungkook’s shared meal. Your compact mirror is propped against the soda can, brushes and glosses neatly scattered around it.
A soft pout forms on your lips as you reapply a coat of your signature lip gloss, the sticky sheen glistening in the light. You’re blissfully focused, tilting your head to inspect your work like an artist perfecting their masterpiece.
“You’re so wrong,” Jimin says, leaning forward with a look of betrayal. “There’s no way Seijoh vs. Karasuno is better than Shiratorizawa vs. Karasuno.”
“It’s about the emotional stakes, Jimin,” Taehyung replies, sipping his iced tea as though he is a certified anime critic. “Oikawa’s genius mind versus Kageyama’s raw talent? That’s art.”
“Art?” Jimin scoffs. “Bro, real art is Ushijima annihilating them with a spike.”
Taehyung shrugs. “Oikawa’s smugness had more impact than any spike ever could.”
“Who’s Kageyama again?” you pipe up, tilting your head.
Jungkook’s phone, well your phone, lowers an inch as he glances at you, his expression blank. “You can’t be serious. We literally watched an episode yesterday.”
You shrug, completely unbothered by the disbelief in his tone. “I don’t remember the boring ones.”
Jimin nearly chokes on his drink, eyes wide in horror. “Boring?! He’s literally the King of the Court!”
“Don’t,” Jungkook says flatly, cutting off Jimin’s impending rant. “She’ll just start listing the hot ones.”
You grin, batting your lashes at him. “Is that a problem, Koo?”
Taehyung leans back in his seat, smirking. “You’ve got your hands full, don’t you, Koo?”
“I wouldn’t call it that,” Jungkook mutters, though his ears tinge pink. “And don’t fucking call me that.”
Taehyung catches it immediately, raising his brows. “Is that a blush I see, Jungkook? The same guy who nearly broke someone’s nose in basketball last week?”
“Fuck off,” Jungkook grumbles, sliding your phone over to you.
“Bro, you’re whipped,” Jimin adds, his laugh practically echoing across the room.
“No I’m not-”
“You are,” Taehyung interrupts, pointing a chip at him. “It’s so obvious. You’ve got that whole, ‘don’t fucking talk to me’ thing going on, but this one over here bats her fake lashes and you’re folding fast.”
“Hey! They’re real,” you protest, leaning forward and resting your chin in your palms.
You study Jungkook with a teasing smile. “Is that true? Am I your kryptonite?”
His eyes flick to yours, dark and unreadable, but there’s a flicker of something - amusement, maybe, or fond exasperation. Jungkook simply doesn’t answer, just grabbing a chip from the tray and popping it into his mouth.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” you say, your smile widening.
Jungkook rolls his eyes, but it’s half-hearted. He leans back in his seat, stretching his long legs out under the table, and you notice the way his fingers tap rhythmically against his knee. He looks relaxed, but you know him well enough to recognise the effort it takes to hold back a snarky comment.
“He doesn’t even deny it,” Jimin continues, grinning like he’s won something. “You know what? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you’re good for him.”
You blink, caught off guard by the sudden compliment. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung agrees, though his tone is far more mischievous. “You’re like the sunshine to his thundercloud.”
“Lipgloss to his cigarette,” Jimin chimes in.
“Or the idiot to his genius,” Jungkook finishes off, his voice dry as ever.
You gasp, smacking his muscular arm lightly. “I’ll have you know I’m very smart!”
“Name the capital of the United States,” he challenges, barely hiding the smirk tugging at his lips.
“Easy,” you say confidently, shrugging your shoulders. “Hollywood.”
Taehyung and Jimin dissolve into laughter, and even Jungkook can’t hold back the small shake of his shoulders.
“Christ,” he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re unbelievable.”
You pout, confused why the boys are laughing. But, the sight of Jungkook joining in with them has you leaning into his side, grinning up at him. “You still like me, right?”
Jungkook doesn’t reply, but his hand moves to casually rest against the small of your back, his fingers caressing the exposed skin.
And that?
That’s the only answer you need.
You busy yourself with dabbing some extra Dior blush onto your cheeks, the sunlight streaming through the window catching the shimmer within it. Jimin plays with your Ilia mascara, shaking his head as he takes in the rest of your makeup that is scattered around.
Taehyung sees that you’re occupied and smirks, leaning closer to Jungkook. “You defo love it, you’re just too much of a moody shit to admit it.”
“Love what?” Jungkook asks, deadpan, though the tightening of his jaw gives him away.
“Having someone fuss over you,” his best friend teases, motioning his thumb towards you with a grin. “She’s got you wrapped around her finger.”
Jungkook exhales sharply, looking down at the now empty takeaway container in front of him like it’s suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world. “You have nothing better to talk about?”
Your eyes dart to him, catching the faintest hint of red creeping up his neck.
Smiling to yourself, you lean your chin on your palm. “It’s okay, Jungkookie,” you coo softly. “You don’t have to say it. I already know.”
He glares at you, but there’s no real bite to it. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not?” you ask, pouting in innocence. “You love it when I call you that.”
Taehyung and Jimin burst into laughter once again at your audacity.
Jungkook narrows his eyes at them before turning to you. For a split second, his fingers twitch on the table, like he’s about to pull you closer. His gaze softens as it lingers on you - like he’s on autopilot, already halfway to pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
But then he stops.
Clearing his throat, he leans back in his chair instead, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his head like armour. “You’re insufferable and annoying.”
You blink, caught between surprise and amusement. “You almost- you almost did it!”
“What?” he grunts, refusing to look at you.
“You were going to kiss my head.” Your voice is laced with a playful lilt, but there’s a flicker of something tender beneath it. “Don’t worry, Kookie. Next time, you’ll follow through.”
His tongue pokes against his cheek, a telltale sign of his rising frustration - or embarrassment, you can’t quite tell. “Shut up and eat,” he mutters, tugging his hood lower before he shoves a packet of crisps your way.
Jimin and Taehyung howl in laughter, and you can’t help but join them, even as Jungkook mumbles curses under his breath.
Somewhere beneath the gruffness, there’s the faintest quirk of his lips - a fleeting smile that only you seem to notice.
And in small moments like this you conclude that while Jungkook doesn’t give you flowers or grace you with love letters, he gives you something that is endless - pieces of himself: his time, his trust, his unwavering presence, and a love so consuming it feels like forever.
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And there we have it! Please do let me know your thoughts ; the support I receive means the world to me 🫶🏻
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daylighted · 2 months ago
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ━ㅤ ㅤ dean winchester.
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the tale of the king of hell and the sweet angel with flowers in her hair.
a hades & persephone retelling through the veiled, handcrafted lens of demon!dean and angel!reader, addressed as persephone, fem pronouns.
content warnings. sexual implications and elusions. that's it lol it's relatively tame!
word count. 6.1k
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the woods were always a safe space for him. they existed in every location on the mortal plane; some big, some small, some haunting, some inviting. it brought him great comfort that something could be so vast and sometimes vitriolic and still be loved and adorned by someone by the likes of her.
she was the manifestations of everything innocent. she was a daydream; wisps of wind carrying flower petals of creams and teals, of pinks and violets. all of which stemmed from the plucked flowers tangled and vined in her hair.
she was always alone, this girl of flowers. dropped down from heaven itself, he knew ━ in the same way that he knew her woods were the big, inviting kind. inviting to everyone but himself.
the underworld was dark and icy, so cold sometimes that blue flames licked upon skin and burned it raw, frostbite staining each orifice blue in its wake. but here, with her, it was always so warm. he did not understand the phrase burn in hell when all he wanted, really, was to burn with her.
he watched her for a long time. every day, the same spot, all by her lonesome. he could see her wings even as they were tucked beneath the skin of her shoulder blades, her entire being painted in an innocence that longed to be scorned.
in the end, it was not him that approached her, but rather her that approached him. cream colored fabric caught in the pollen-scented air that wafted through the branches and got caught in the leaves. strands of her hair tangled in front of her eyes, petals dancing behind her like a trail of pure magic.
"what is it that you long for?" she asked him, and it was such a strange question, such a strange scenario. a creature made of darkness and corruption and everything vile did not often get asked what it was that they longed for, and it was even less often that such things that they wanted were women with buried themselves in flower fields and made friends with the bees.
as such, he did not answer her. he chose to bypass her question entirely and take it upon himself to ask her something. his hand reaches out to grasp a stray petal from the silky hive that was her hair. "it is not smart to approach strangers in secluded places."
"it is hardly secluded," she said as fast, her lips forming a soft 'o' as she blew the delicate magenta petal from his two fingers. "no part of the woods is ever solitary."
she is naive, he thinks, and the naive ones are always the most fun. but there is a part of him that does not long to break her spirit, so long as he can instead nurture it and make it grow. if he was capable of such things. "i suppose you mean the creatures that lurk in the bushes?"
"the wind," she corrects, her head tilting up to absorb the impact of it. again, it tosses her hair, knocks the flower petals woven in the strands loose. her silken dress is one with the wind itself, the fabric catching the gusts and bottling them as it dances in its fingers. "it carries secrets, if you listen close enough to hear them."
and he could not help himself. "what does the wind tell you of me?"
her head tilts to the side. his world, spun on its axis, watching him right back. "that we are alike."
she could not be more wrong. she was made of clouds and goodness, constructed in the very nature of virtue. he was of sin and shadows, dark and broken, feasting off of the innocence that she radiated like a pheromone. he opens his mouth to say so, but she does not let him.
"i know you are not of this world," she continues, slowly, as if she's convinced that this is information that should frighten him that she knows; not something that intrigues him greatly. "like i imagine you know that of me, too."
he does not give a solid answer, but the slightest quirk of his lips is enough to bring a flicker of mischief into her eyes. "what is it like?"
what a peculiar question from a girl made of stardust and glitter, drawing every bit of light toward her like a beacon. he could not play naive to this, or act innocent in the terms of her question, because she had already taken those roles and embodied them perfectly.
"dark," he says, leaning ever-so-slightly closer with each word, "foreboding. lifeless."
he expects that word to drown her spirits. he expects to see the hope floating away in the river's stream, swallowed whole as it glittered beneath the water's surface. instead, she sparkles brighter, her smile wider. "do you believe in fate?"
he balks. "i believe in nothing at all."
"perhaps you should take me there," she says, tugging the loose petals from her hair and letting them rain on the grass. she still looks as wild and free as ever, perhaps even more so, without the reins of life and nature holding her back. "and i will give you something to believe in."
try as she might, it was all for naught. he believed in her so desperately already that he might as well be the drowning thing in the river. perhaps that was why it did not glitter at all.
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she called herself persephone, and she called him dean, though that was not what the servants of the underworld and the demons beneath him called him. they called him hades ━ master of cruelty, harbinger of the dead.
it meant justice, where she was from, high above in the clouds with the other things crafted from perfection and innocence. it was not a name out of love, but one out of duty. he told himself this, because there was no chance that someone like her could ever reach into his heart and cradle it between her palms.
persephone had a room, closest to his, and he hated to admit that he considered locking it with a chain every night, lest she realize her mistake and want to go back to her life of oak trees and soft-petaled flowers.
but the heavy door never nudged in the days that she stayed alongside him, and the darkness seemed to hold its breath around her.
"does it not get dreary?" persephone asks upon waking up, her eyes glittering so brightly in the bleak underworld that she stood out like the beacon he believed her to be. always calling him to her.
dean's eyebrows raise a fraction. her mind formulates thoughts that she does not share, until her mouth splits open to speak questions he does not know the context of. "is death not supposed to be dreary?"
he is very good at giving her the answers she does not want. her lips contort into a blatant frown, puffed in a pout of rose petals, and her eyebrows furrow like aggravated caterpillars on her face. "it is a necessity in the life cycle. all things necessary are beautiful."
"you are a dreamer, persephone," he says dismissively, because there's an odd feeling warming his cheeks and the back of his neck. warmth. how odd it was to feel warmth that didn't scald or burn, but soothed. "i await the day that your dreams shatter to pieces."
the pout deepens. angry pink petals curled downward enough to wrinkle her smooth skin. "that is an awful thing to say."
"i would pick up every shard," dean interrupts, their eyes finally locking, "and i would put them back together, no matter how long it takes."
"i have many dreams, dean."
dean does not back down, still. "and i have many centuries."
their stares do not falter. they hold and they hold, like hands tightly woven together in secret, clutching like they might be ripped apart at any point. dean was certain nothing could take persephone from him now, what with how desperate he was for the life she brought.
"your world is cold," she says simply after what feels like eternities in of itself, "and incapable of fostering life."
an astute observation. the words fell from her lips with icy breaths punctuating between them. "i did warn you," he speaks slowly, like this time it is she that needs to have it explained to her, "that this was not a place for angels like you."
he did not warn her of such directly, no. but is scaring off someone and warning someone not the same?
"i am not the life that needs fostered," she waves her hand, her eyes dancing around her surroundings mindlessly. the blackstone countertops of his housing chambers, the metal chairs that did nothing but breed discomfort. all of it was dysfunctional ━ display pieces, in a way, so that he may feel an ounce of humanity again in his dead soul.
her finger reaches out to poke his chest. firm in her movements and her judgements. "it is you." persephone's chin tilts up in her defiant arrogance. "and how lucky you are to have me to guide you."
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dean forgot, in his haste to keep persephone, that other people were capable of loving her just as vehemently as he did. it was only a matter of time before something went awry in your absence, and people began to wonder where the angel dusted in pollen and petals had floated away to.
he just did not expect it to be so soon.
a month passes, and suddenly his home is littered in gold. she is a radiant light, everything she touches bursts into life ━ and so the dark home that he'd come to know, with its dim sconces and brooding towers, has become one with light through the gaps of the windows. fresh candles that smell like daisies and lavender are placed in the caged sconces.
maybe he should be angry that she is turning his kingdom of darkness into something so alive. but all dean has ever wanted was a touch of life, and not so much death. it was something that he only began to crave when he spotted her in the woods, surrounded by living things that responded to her touch.
there is an angel at his door, and it is not the one he wishes for.
he senses it like a sixth sense; something amiss in his territory. the wind before a storm, twisting and twisting and setting everything off balance. and the silence is unlike anything he's heard before, in a place as damnable as his home.
dean exits his room with his spine rigid, booted steps heavy on the hollow stone. acts like this are not taken lightly. acts so disrespectful are met with wings hung over his throne, bloodied muscle still attached to their delicate bones.
"persephone," the angel says from the center of his throne room, without turning over their shoulder to look at him. another act of disrespect. "is... where?"
dean's steps echo in the empty room as he circles the angel. predator and prey. neither of which give any indication on who they believe the other to be, in that manner. "is none of your concern."
"you have taken an angel from a place of life and virtue and thrown her into a dungeon of death and decay," the angel snaps back at him, their teeth bared in a harsh snarl. their true form threatens beneath the surface of the vessel they wear. down here, it is much harder to keep up appearances. "it is obvious that it is our concern."
the idea of persephone being locked away sent his stomach churning. how dare anyone think that he would ever try and stifle her light? not when she is cultivating her craft and turning his home into something that is alive.
dean drops into the throne in the center of the room. flames lick to life at the first contact between him and the granite. the angel does not falter at the sight, and dean's jaw ticks because of it. "if you think she is unsafe, find her."
the angel's eyes narrow. "is this a game to you?"
"i guarantee it is not." how could he ever imagine this situation as a game, when the very root of his life is being threatened to be stolen back from him? "find her."
dean knows where she is. in her room, across the narrow hallway from his. her door is shut, but he could smell the flickering flames smelting in her fireplace, warming her from the underworld's pitch black coldness. dean knows she is safe, writing on the parchment he'd gotten for her, detailing her days and thoughts into permanence.
the angel flickers away, out of his sight. dean is left alone with his own thoughts. his, he does not want to memorialize. his stay in the creeping corners of his mind, tucked away to keep his persephone safe. not that he did not believe she could handle a little darkness; she was the one that asked him to come here, after all.
it feels like an eternity that the angel is gone. dean fears, in the very depths of his soul, that they have taken her without a warning or a trace. he'd burn them. all of them. he'd take their wings and decorate the halls of his kingdom with their feathers. he'd . . .
flickering into view is the angel, with persephone clutched between their grip. her face is contorted into that fiery expression he'd come to expect from her, defiance born in her very blood.
it was no wonder that the angels wanted to leash her. she was not like them. she was composed of flame and fury, and radiated it like she was the sun itself. dean was always so captivated by her, but it was times like this when he could not look away.
"what have you done to her?" the angel tosses the accusation dean's way like the words sicken them. again, their true form flickers just behind their eyes. at least dean was a beast that wore his skin without the skin of a lamb atop of it.
dean's fingers steeple beneath his chin. "explain."
"she does not want to come back." the angel's eyes narrow onto him, unspoken allegations swimming in their expression. "there is no reason that someone so full of life would want to bury their feet into the death and darkness of your home."
it is selfish that his heart swells at those words. does not want to leave his home. his initial worries that he would have to say goodbye to her melt away like the ice frosting over his stone walls.
"that is not true," persephone interjects, and dean stills. waits for the clarification on what wasn't true. "i do want to go home."
they say that if you love something, you must let it go. dean did not understand it. never before had he loved anything, and the prospect of releasing this precious jewel to the real world has him feeling like he's about to burst from his skin. how was he supposed to let her go? how was he supposed to . . .
panic flares the fire surrounding his throne, his fists curled into tight balls against his palms. "then you may leave."
persephone's expression shifts, her eyes flicking over to dean. hurt mares that beautiful face, her eyebrows furrow deeply, valleys between them, lines burnt into the stone. "you do not listen."
"you have made it clear," dean cannot keep the hurt from his own voice, either, "that is what you want."
it was foolish for someone like him to be irate that someone like her did not want to be around him. persephone were gold and he was ash; she were fire and he was stone.
but perhaps he'd grown used to having someone lively around amongst all of this death. perhaps the prospect of her being in his space had begun to feel less like an invasion and more like laws of nature.
death could not exist without life. life could not continue without death. it was as natural for him to crave persephone like the moon longed for the sun.
"i want choice," persephone says loudly, her voice carrying throughout the hollow throne room. "i want to not be contained."
dean straightens in his seat. "and have you felt that i've been containing you, persephone?"
she holds his gaze for a long while. so long that he sees the fire in her eyes, watches it dwindle to ash in the shore of her irises. "you have never done anything awful to me."
"i do not believe such words," the angel interrupts, their lips curled into a sneer. "manipulation is part of who he is, persephone, and you are caught right in his snare."
dean is about to lunge. his nails bite into his skin, blood pools in four glossy red crescents on his palms, with the effort it takes to not bury his fists into the cheekbones of the angel's face.
it is her eyes that keep him steady. persephone's eyes, always so open and honest. he'd mistaken her for naive when what he really saw, initially, strength. warm, like a hug. burning, like passion.
he slumps back into the throne again, his curled fists breaking open and shattering like they'd never been built for violence at all.
"he has no snare," persephone's voice is soft. flower petals brushing across his calloused knuckles, a lover's caress. "he is a product of the underworld, an image crafted to maintain his reputation. you do not know him like i have come to."
dean did not believe a lot of what she said, himself. he was not just an image of violence and cruelty; it was who he was, still, with everyone but her. his persephone.
"your mistake is that you think i am vulnerable enough to get caught in any trap," she continues, and those eyes reignite and burn as they land on the angel that clasps her wrist. "i am not a damsel, or a lamb. i am a fire burning, and you are in my way."
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persephone was a fire burning. those were the two words that she'd picked for herself, when she began to acclimate to the life below the surface. she burnt trees and flowers, singed them to ash and blew them away like the seeds of a dandelion.
she had it all, up above. life burst from her fingers, the sun beat down on her and made her burst. flowers wove themselves into her hair, stems tangled in the strands, her fingertips always smelled of pollen, and she could taste the season changes on her tongue with how familiar their flavors were.
but someone that was made of life was never truly alive. she only saw things grow, cultivated them, and where was the satisfaction in it, if she never got to see them die? what was the point of life if it never ended?
the god of death had been watching her for a long while. she felt the decay long before she ever saw him, her flowers wilting and the grass turning wheat brown and crunchy beneath her green-stained knees.
life was always intrigued by death. death always craved life. she found herself drifting up to him without an ounce of fear, even as his eyes swirled with a darkness beyond her knowledge. angels were naturally contemptuous of demons like he was, but she was no typical angel, and he was no typical demon.
it'd been her plan, really, from the moment that she first sensed the burn of his gaze upon her, threatening to drain her life source from its very core, to get him to steal her away. she was exhausted with giving life to everything around her, and not ever getting to feel that thrill of something new and exciting herself.
the god did not put up much of a fight to her troublesome idea, and that was the moment that persephone realized that she had chosen right. it took nothing for him to be convinced of her purpose and her potential, whereas there was not a soul that paid her any mind unless her efforts began to slip.
she'd never felt as alive as she did walking amongst the dead, and not only because of the obvious, but because it was new. a purpose. the souls that were trapped beneath the mortal grounds did not need to live like they were entombed in eternal winter.
persephone was a fire burning in the icy pits of hell, daring to melt away its harsh exterior and warm it, starting with the man that believed her capable of such.
"what is this?" she asks upon entering into his throne room, her eyes bursting open like blooming flowers at the sight. his throne, a towering mass of obsidian once in the center of the room, was now shifted. and next to it was... "for me?"
a granite throne of smaller stature, engraved with vines and thorned flowers. lesser demons worked on it without stirring at her arrival, though their rigid backs gave way that they sensed her. she was the sole thing with a heartbeat in this kingdom, it was impossible not to.
her beloved dean sat on the big arm of his own throne, eyes narrowed and scrutinizing on the working demons, lips curled in utter focus. but the moment her voice rang out, the black depths of his eyes melted into the green she'd gotten to familiarize herself with. the green just for her. "if you wish it to be," he says nonchalantly, as if having a throne built just for her was some idle task.
"you do not have to go to such lengths for me," persephone insists, "i am merely a guest in your home."
his eyes narrow. not long ago had that angel invaded the underworld and tried to drag her away. spouting nonsense about the god's manipulation of her, turning her vision rose-tinted and blind. the angels did not know that she had manipulated the god into bending to her will. "you are not merely a guest if you wish to be more."
"that is a bold offer," and she almost calls him dean, but she refrains in front of his subjects. that name is reserved for them and them only. his vulnerability is hers to cherish.
dean's head nods once. "and you are a bold girl."
her heart swells. the hollow thud of tools on stone echoes throughout the room for endless moments while she watches him, stares into those eyes that only deepen for her.
"leave at once," he commands, his voice cold and crafted of ice. dean's eyes, though, do not freeze over into black as they stay locked with hers.
the subjects scramble to their feet and disappear into the open archway of the throne room, out of sight. in a blink, it is just persephone and the devil, his gaze crafted of marble and as warm as a hearth.
no, he is not capable of manipulating her or breaking her. but she is capable of shattering him. he is lucky she would never want to hurt him. she is lucky that his heart thaws just for her.
"i will tell them to dispose of it if you do not want it," dean says, his voice like warm honey compared to the frosty interior. "i only thought that it would be nice. to have you around when i am not available to keep you company."
persephone shakes her head. "i love it," she answers, her eyes falling back onto it. it is everything she loves at once. the harshest flowers, the cruelest thorns ━ blackstone carvings of the balance between life and death.
dean can read her like a book. his eyes stay locked onto hers for any flicker of change in them. "there is something else." his jaw ticks. "say it."
"i am afraid."
the words come so easily that she does not feel the need to sugarcoat them, or to bury the truth beneath flowery words. though his reaction is unexpected. a flinch mars his expression.
she feels guilty at once.
"oh," is all he says, and the soft utter of the one syllable alone has her reeling to make this right.
"not of you," she says quickly, desperate to get the hurt out of his beautiful eyes. "never of you." dean stays looking unconvinced. "i am afraid," she starts again, backtracking on her words so that they might sound better this time, "of how a throne for me will be perceived."
dean's expression hardens and tightens. it takes seconds for him to become a man of marble ━ harsh lines deepen the contours of his face, expression unyielding and unmoving. he is the god hades, then, and not her dean.
instead of responding, his head jerks in gesture to the throne. not hers, but his. the one that he sits on the arm of, and not in. the one that does not belong to her, and that has probably never felt the presence besides its god's.
persephone's feet carry her to it, anyways, as if her body has not realized, yet, the implications of it all. her fingers dance along the glossy stone of the empty arm, expecting it to be icy and finding it warm.
she sits upon it, and it bursts into flame.
dean does not flinch away from the wisps of fire, though. they do not touch him. as she thought, the fire adheres to him, the throne answers to him ━ and it appears to answer to her, too.
"you are as much of a queen," he mutters as his head dips down, lips brushing on the curve of her ear, "as i am a king."
persephone cannot move, stuck in the trance that was the burning in his eyes. dean leans closer, and she does not move. his breath is warm and full of life on her skin. "it is yours if you want it to be. all of this is yours."
she has never wanted something more than to mean something. to have a place amongst death as life always should. her lips part to say so, but three words interrupt her, stopping her heart in between her ribs. "i am yours."
it is incredible, persephone thinks, to be loved. to not feel too inadequate to deserve it. to be herself, and to be enough.
his hand falls on her cheek, and hers lifts to trap it there, caging his love before it can run out of her like sand in an hourglass. and before she knows it, she's leaned up enough to kiss him.
his mouth tastes like frosted pomegranate and sin. his tongue breaks through the barrier of her lips like he's craved her for so long that he knows exactly what to do now that she is here.
life unto death. life undoes death.
he keeps her face between his palms like she is something precious as he makes the moves to stand. he is between her legs, then, his fingers trailing up the dress she wears, tucking beneath its hem.
she does not stop him. his fingers land on her inner thighs. she does not stop him. he sinks to his knees in front of her, a king bowing at his own throne, surrendering.
persephone's mouth parts in blooming anticipation. his hands push her knees apart, the thin fabric of her dress's skirt pooling in between the open space. and there dean is, her dean, as warm as he is frozen, thawing at the touch of her.
"i know you do not fear fire, my beauty," he whispers, his voice as rough as gravel as he looks up at her through his eyelashes, "so burn for me."
and then he buries his face between her legs, and she bursts into flames.
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"i had this made for you," dean says upon entering their shared space. she is sprawled underneath silken burgundy sheets, completely bare, still, from the previous night. and the one before that. she has not left his bed or made any attempt to.
all he wears is a wrap of black cloth around his waist, hair damp from a shower, the smell of soap billowing around the room like smoke. and in his hands is a crown.
ruby red roses wrap around the base. the sharp points are thorns. deep green vines wrap around it in its entirety. it is sharp, deadly, and it is beautiful.
the sheets pool at her lap as she sits up, her lips parted in her awe. it is beautiful. it is everything he views her as, she knows, because he does not let her forget that she is as fierce as she is soft. she is thorns and she is roses.
dean crosses the space to nestle the crown into her hair. his knuckles trail down her cheek, a soft caress, softness that stays reserved for them.
"you look beautiful wearing your power atop your head," he mumbles mindlessly, his eyes searching her expression for any sort of reaction. but she is struck wordless. there is no magic in a crown made of thorns and bloody petals, but there is magic within her now that she wears it. an irrevocable strength that does not waver.
she reaches up to touch it, fingertips dancing along the jagged points of the thorns. her finger pricks, the sting making her blink in her surprise. how long had it been since she'd dealt with pain? since she'd seen it in her very eyes?
"when you are presented tonight, to my court," dean continues, his knuckle locking beneath her chin and tilting it up higher so she may meet his eyes, "you will wear it."
the fear of being rejected by his people and his subjects is now nothing but a wobbly line pretending to be a towering wall. she had broken past those worries, shattered them into rubble and dust, the moment that he'd kissed her.
like he knows that such an act will solidify her and her feelings, he presses his mouth to hers. warm, as always. everything in the underworld, now, is becoming warm and hearty.
persephone grabs at the cloth wrapped around his waist to drag him in closer. her hands slide around the expanse of his thighs and pull, pull until his knees meet the feathery soft mattress and he is atop her.
"i will never take it off," she vows on his lips, letting him swallow their truth.
dean's lips quirk into the kiss. "already fitting perfectly into your role."
persephone's throne is collecting dust, now, from the disuse. dean has insisted that she sit in his lap on his throne from the very moment that they'd first gotten together, and persephone was never one to argue with what he wanted when it was what she, too, did.
his people do not like her. it is evident in their sneers and their irritation. but it is not her job to make them accept her. it is theirs to come to terms with, when she stays.
dean's hand trails up her thigh, his palm leaving shivers with each pass, raising higher beneath the hem of her black satin dress. thorned vines wrap around her legs, thorns blossoming down the center path of the room from each step she took.
she is life and she is death. and most importantly, to her, she has found a purpose within his courts.
"you must not falter if they speak ill to you," he whispers into her ear, peppering the words along her skin in between kisses, "you must show them the queen that i know you to be."
it was reassurances that persephone did not need. she was not afraid of the dead. she craved death like it starved for her.
every harsh stare toward her was met with her own sneer. it was hard to fear her above, when flowers bloomed beneath her feet and branches curled toward her, wishing to listen in on what she had to say, and the wind whispered its secrets into her ears.
here, she was fire. here, she'd never felt so alive.
persephone could feel dean's eyes on her. when she turns to meet his gaze, there is pride in his green eyes. green, just for her. green, like the leaves and the grass. she lifts her hand to smudge the wrinkles in the corners of them, the gesture a silent question and an act of affection.
"you do not have to hide from me," she promises under her breath, the pad of her thumb massaging the age lines over his stubbled face. "show me how dark you can burn."
and when his eyes blacken, she is certain that love can conquer all. it certainly has brought a king to his knees.
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the warm months were dawning. persephone knew, because her veins ached with the need to be above again. spring was upon them. it was time for her to return. just as dean had his duties, she had her own. it would not be fair to throw them to the wind just because she'd found a home, now, and was no longer wandering mindlessly through the woods.
dean stands before her, a grim expression on his face. in his hands is a pomegranate, torn in two. the juice runs down his hands like blood.
from his face, she knows that he must feel, too, like he is bleeding out.
persephone steps forward to press her forehead against his, on the tips of her toes to reach him. his arms wrap tightly around her, staining the white of her flowing gown pink with the blood on his hands.
she does not make any move to pull from him, though. she has waited as long as she possibly could already, but she does not want to abandon him again to his kingdom of cold isolation. does not want to see how much he falls apart without her; not when she will shatter just as violently.
"i will be back when the wind begins to chill," she promises, slipping from his arms just enough to steal a pomegranate half from his hands. she plucks a seed from its pieces, popping it between her lips. "i will be back at the very first reddening of the leaves, i swear it."
it does not loosen his clenched jaw. dean has never doubted any of her promises, but he does doubt himself, falling into a pit of his own destruction. she does not want to leave him and see how many shards she will have to pick up upon her return.
dean's fingers reach out to steal one of her seeds. "i would never take away your ability to choose," he says softly, placing the seed on his tongue as she had, like an unspoken vow between them in the shared gestures, "but i wish that you will continue to choose me."
"always."
her eyes close, and it's like she can already hear the crying of the birds in the sky, the nymphs in the trees crying for her to return, her mother wailing. it overwhelms her. she opens her eyes again to find solace in the black swirls of his.
"i will count the days until you come," he swears, his stained fingers brushing streaks of red along her cheekbone as he cups her face against his palm. "and i will burn the world if you are kept away from me."
persephone knew he would, too. just as she would tear through it all to get back to him.
it is with great effort that she crosses the gate between the underworld and the real world. her strength crumbles the moment her feet touch the grass, tears streaming down her face, the first signification of spring being the pouring rain that starts the moment her tears do.
but she was strong, and now much stronger, now that she holds place in someone's heart and she has found solace in a home that welcomes her just as she wants to be. as a queen, not just an angel, as a girl who wants to burn as much as she wants to light.
and true to his word, the depths of hell are aflame the moment the gate closes. the ice melted and thawed, in its place, flames and fire and heat, grieving the angel of death until she makes her way home to its king again.
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tags. @sthefferrete @cevansbaby-dove @titsout4nicholas @cosmicanakin @bluestrd
@ultravi0lence14 @mccartneyqp @poughkeepsie99 @depressionbarbie2023 @im-bili
@ariasong11 @chevroletdean @angelblqde @ostaramoon @deansbite
@lyarr24 @jasvtsc @deanswidow @figthoughts
click here if u want added!
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bunny-1111 · 4 months ago
Text
Did I stutter? Theo Nott x fem!reader
Description: With the Christmas ball approaching, you can’t stop daydreaming about Theo. But when Pansy reveals that he’s been quietly chasing off your suitors, you’re left questioning his true feelings. When confronted, Theo’s possessiveness comes to light—but will he finally ask you to the ball?
Genre: Angst, slow burn, romance Warnings: Slight possessiveness, mild language
Word count: 1.9k
Part 2, here
Unedited and unread
reblogs, likes and comments appreciated my loves <3
...
The Christmas ball was a yearly sensation.
When the autumn leaves were long covered by the deep snow of winter, was when you knew it was not far off.
As you sat in the great hall across from your friends in a daydream, imagining Theo all dressed up in a three-piece suit, your mind slipped into mush as you dreamed about his hand placed delicately on your waist, moving you through the steps of a waltz.
"Hello, earth calling. Are you even listening to me?!" Pansy clicked her fingers to pull you attention back into focus
"Sorry, you were saying?" you rush, flustered by your own thoughts.
"Yeah, I was asking if you want to go to Hogsmeade this afternoon?" she continued.
"Oh sure" you agree, you eyes now glued to your plate, trying to pull your mind away from him
"we'll join you, yeah" Draco casually adds
"No!" Pansy quickly exclaims
"what, why not?" replies Draco his voice high and whiney
"Because, girls day, only, we're gonna try find some dresses for the Christmas ball" inisted Pans
"we are?" you question
"we are." she states
"Oh Merlin, I hate this ball bullshit" Enzo adds, throwing his fork down
"Couldn't agree more, Enz" says Theo softly
"Yeah, Theo it must be so annoying having every girl in every house ask you to the dance, gosh you boys are insufferable" ranted Pansy
Oh, that's right, the unpleasant reminder that you and Theodore have no romantic relations and you can't do anything about the girls who swoon over him, Merlin. Why do they all have to be so desperate for him? Why can't they just leave him for you? Why can't something happen between you two why can't h-
"Come on let's go get ready for Hogs" She interrupts your self-destructive thoughts, now dragging you along back to the dorms.
As you shiver into your scarf, the cold air bites at your lips, the snow filled streets of Hogsmeade bring a sense of quickness in turns of just how soon the ball is.
"I expect someone should ask you to the dance soon" Pansy says linking her arms in your as you walk together, shopping bags in your free arms.
"Thanks, Pans, you too," you smile
You're met with unusual silence from her, so you give her a small shove, a gentle nudge, saying, spit it out.
"Well, Draco's asked me to go... I've said yes" she carefully says
"Pans! When, why didn't you tell me? This again, I thought you said you and Dray were really done this time?" You ramble, eyes wide with passionate protection for her
"I know, but like his gonna let someone else take me, I wouldn't want him to go with anyone else take me either, it's just like you and-" she starts
"Don't finish that sentence alright, you and Draco dated, Theo and I nothing" you huff
"Oh yeah, then why is he going around threatening any guy who even considers asking you." her tone
Pansy’s words hit you like a bludger to the chest, forcing the air out of your lungs. You almost stumble your steps, but she keeps her arm linked with yours, pulling you along as if she hadn’t just dropped a bombshell
“What are you talking about?” you ask, trying to sound casual, but your voice betrays you, cracking at the end.
Pansy raises a brow, glancing at you like she’s holding the world’s best secret, and you’re not in on it. “Oh, don’t play dumb. It’s been happening for months.”
Months?
Theo, your Theo, going around and threatening people from asking you to the ball? That doesn’t make sense. He barely looked at you when you weren't all together, always composed, acting as though your presence didn’t make his eyes soften as you wished they would.
But then again, you have noticed that boys, nice boys, that is, had stopped approaching you after a while. You chalked it up to bad luck. You and your friends did have a certain unapproachability. The rumors swirled about Theodore Nott being unattainable, uninterested in any romance, but he never gave any indication that he’d be willing to defend you, much less ward off potential suitors.
“yeah right, that can’t be true.” Your denial comes out weaker than you intend, the words sitting heavy on your tongue.
Pansy giggles like the school girl she is. “Sweetheart, believe what you want, but I know a possessive bloke when I see one. Trust me, Draco’s the same way, just less… subtle.” She waves her hand dismissively, but her eyes hold a knowing glimmer, irritating you. Like she has insight into your life that you aren’t aware of yourself.
You shake your head, trying to process everything. “But why wouldn’t he just—”
“Ask you himself?” Pansy finishes for you, her voice lilting, almost teasing. “Oh, come on, you know Theo. He’s about as emotionally available as a cursed lock. He probably doesn’t even realise what he’s doing half the time.”
“But pans, months?”
Pansy shrugs a nonchalant gesture that tells you she’s probably been keeping this from you for a while. “Look, I didn’t say anything because I thought you’d figure it out, and honestly, it’s kind of fun watching him sulk whenever someone gets too close. Merlin, the way he glares could melt the snow.”
You let out a breath, the cold air burning your lungs as you try to wrap your mind around it. Theodore Nott, the Theo who lives in your mind, your friend of years, the same Theo you desperately want to yourself, had been quietly chasing off any competition? It feels surreal, like a dream you’d conjured in the midst of one of your daydreams in the Great Hall.
But if that’s true… then why hasn’t he made a move? Why hasn’t he said anything to you?
As if reading your thoughts, Pansy squeezes your arm. “Don’t overthink it. Boys are complicated, especially our boys alright, even when they think they’re being clear. Maybe he’s waiting for the right moment, or maybe he’s just an idiot.”
You laugh, a short, breathy sound that fogs up the air around you. “Yeah, idiot sounds about right.”
Hogsmeade is bustling with students, all of them chattering about the upcoming ball, dresses, dates, and everything in between. You glance at shop windows, your eyes trailing over elegant gowns and shimmering accessories, but your mind is miles away, stuck on a certain brown-haired Slytherin boy who, apparently, has been harboring some very mixed signals.
By the time you make it back to the castle, your hands are full of bags, and your head is full of unanswered questions. Pansy is still chattering away, something about her dress and how Draco better match her, but you can barely focus.
You keep replaying her words over and over again. Theo’s threatening people? Why wouldn’t he just ask me? The thought sends your heart into a frenzy, and no matter how much you try to convince yourself, it’s nothing, that maybe Pansy is exaggerating; you know deep down that she’s probably right.
It isn’t until the next morning at breakfast that you catch sight of Theo, sitting at the Slytherin table with his usual quiet confidence. His hair is slightly tousled, like he couldn’t be bothered to comb it properly, and his tie is crooked, but it doesn’t matter—he still looks effortlessly good, as always.
Your heart does a little flip as you watch him, your mind racing with everything Pansy told you. Should you say something? Ask him if it’s true? Or would that be too forward? Maybe you should just wait it out, see if he says anything first…
But before you can make a decision, Theo glances up and locks eyes with you. It’s a brief moment, but it’s enough to send your pulse skyrocketing. His expression is unreadable, as usual, but there’s something in his gaze that makes your stomach twist.
You quickly look away, focusing on your plate, but your thoughts are a mess. Could he see it all on your face? Are you accidentally showing what you didn't have the courage to say?
The rest of the day passes in a blur, and by the time evening rolls around, you’re no closer to figuring out what to do. Pansy, of course, is no help—she just keeps teasing you about it, making cryptic comments about how Theo’s going to “make his move” eventually.
You’re not so sure.
It’s not until later, when you’re heading back to the common room after a long day of classes, that you run into Theo. Literally.
You’re not paying attention, too caught up in your own thoughts, and you bump right into him as you turn the corner.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t—” you start to apologize, but the words die in your throat when you look up and realize it’s him.
Theo’s standing there, hands in his pockets, his usual calm, unreadable expression in place. But there’s something different about him tonight, something that makes your heart race.
“Hey,” he says, his voice low and smooth, sending a shiver down your spine, as his hand lays on your shoulder, steading your place in front of him
“Hey,” you reply, trying to keep your voice still, but it’s a losing battle.
For a moment, neither of you says anything. The silence stretches between you, heavy with unspoken words and tension.
Before you can make a decision, Theo breaks the silence. “You’re going to the ball, right?”
The question catches you off guard, and you nod before you can stop yourself. “Yeah, I am.”
His eyes darken slightly, and he takes a step closer. “With anyone?”
Your heart skips a beat, and for a second, you forget how to breathe. Is this it? Is he finally going to ask you?
“No,” you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
Theo’s gaze stays locked on yours for a long moment, and then, finally, he says, “Good. Keep it that way.”
And just like that, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing there, your mind spinning.
You stand frozen in place, his words echoing in your mind. Good. Keep it that way. It’s a simple sentence, but the way Theo said it, with that intensity in his eyes, sends your heart into a tailspin.
What did he mean by that? Was it a warning? A request? Or something else entirely?
You shake your head, trying to clear the confusion, but it’s no use. Theo’s always been hard to read, but this feels different—like there’s something just beneath the surface that you can’t quite grasp.
"No Theo wait!" you call out before he gets too far
His body swiftly turns around waiting for you, typical Teddy, of course he makes you run after him.
When you finally reach him all you can manage is "I don't understand."
"what's not to understand, darling," he says softly almost sympathetic
"Have you stopped guys from asking me, personally?" you say so quickly you didn't even have time to realise what you had just asked
"Yes. I have" he replies immediately
"wh-what?" you mutter out
"Did I fucking stutter? Anyone asks you and you tell me" his tone stern and meaningful, inching closer and closer to you, "alright"
"alright" you agree in a small voice
"Good girl" he smiles as he tilts his head, before walking off.
well, what the fuck now.
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Author Note: I've been feeling so unsure about my writing lately, I've been struggling to produce good work. I have been so flat out at work that by the time I get home, I'm writing at like 2am, so it just turns out shit... and I get too tired to finish it properly like this one, but I just wanted to get something out. Ugh, I'm sorry. anyway hope you try to enjoy this one, I will get back to my confident writing soon, I hope lol love youuuuuuu, B.
Part 2, here
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