#dancing is not worktime hours

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie dipping Charlie while dancing, leaning down and untying Charlie's bowtie with her teeth. is this a thing

actually, Vaggie stealing Charlie's clothes the entire time they're dancing

Nothing above the belt is safe from her. She opens and drags off Charlie's coat, wraps it around her own waist. Snags Charlie's bowtie, re above, ties it around her own wrist using just her mouth. whoops Charlie's suspenders just got pushed down her arms, nooooo resemblance at all to any other straps a person might get helped out of during and intimate situation-

by the time Vaggie's unbuttoning Charlie's shirt without messing a beat or step of their dance, Angel Dust is taking notes with one set of hands while covering Niffty and Lucifer's eyes with the other, Husk is looking sick and has actually stopped drinking, Alastor has the surviving egg boi propped up in front of him as a shield, and Cherri Bomb is cheering bc of the fiery tracks a very warmed up Charlie is leaving all over the ballroom floor

everyone finds out why chaggie aren't intimate in public more often... they are really really bad at remembering they're in public, or knowing when to STOP

Husk: "...what... the fuck are they doing?"

Angel Dust: "At this point? Each other, basically~"

Lucifer: "Why are my eyes being covered...?"

Cherri Bomb: "YEEAHHH!! AND THEY'RE HOT AS HELL! GET IT PRINCESS!"

Lucifer: "Oh. Ha ha ha! I see!" (shapeshifts) "But not literally. I don't see literally. I don't think I need ANY eyes at all right now!"

Cherri Bomb: "AHAHAHAHAH MORE FIRE!!! MORE MORE!!!!"

Niffty: "Fire? As in bon fire?? I AM MISSING OUT ON SOMEONE BURNING ALIVE!?"

Alastor: "I am terribly afraid we are not, dearest. Not unless you count this egg frying himself with his own blush."

Egg Boi: "Wowzer!"

Niffty: "Boo."

Vaggie: "Did one of you assholes just BOO us?!"

Angel Dust: "YA GIRLFRIEND IS HALF UNDRESSED TOOTS! HOW ARE YOU EVEN STILL NOTICIN' WE EXIST???"

Vaggie: "My hot girlfriend is half undressed you moron of COURSE I'll notice when someone boos her!!"

Husk: "Then put some fucking clothes back on her!"

Vaggie: (flips him off while charlie twirls her) "FUCK YOU! NO!!!"

Lucifer: "Oh apple of all the eyes I don't have right now! How're you feeling about all this, Char-char?"

Charlie: "I'm feeling... Wowzer... heheh~"

Angel Dust: "It was that thing with untying ya bow with her mouth, huh?"

Charlie: "HEHEHEHEH."

[defiledtomb]

Ouroboros: The first year in development (+small update!)

On this day, a year from now, I sat in the stark light from my monitors, eyes bloodshot and hands trembling; and I clicked the post button. I then choked my pc to death and ran away screaming, scrambling into the corner of the couch on all fours, hissing at every shadow (only one of those statements is a lie).

It was 4 am and I had been scrambling to get the last details of the demo correct, mumbling to myself and reasoning with my dog. I was so happy to be writing again, after years of piddling around with lackluster projects. I never thought Ouro would be welcomed as it was, and to be honest, the fact that it was scared the living shit out of me. After the hype settled, and I sat watching the continuous stream of support that poured my way, I kind of crumbled. There was a long and dirty road of clawing myself out of self-doubt, impostor syndrome and perfectionism. Some part of me knew it was coming, since its very on par with how I am shaped as a person (sopping wet pathetic meow meow), but after climbing many hills on my ongoing healing journey, I felt like I was prepared for it.

Writing Ouroboros went from fun little sidequest to get my mind off becoming a sturdy part of society again (exhausting), to another workload, to form of therapy, then torture and back again. My writing journal is amusing to scroll through:

Things went from bad to...

worse,

until the storm finally weakened. Every entry in my journal from this point gets progressively more hopeful, more resilient against the bad days.

:> This was around the point where I decided I wouldn't give up, come hell or high water. The progress was slow, like bleeding stone and pulling teeth, but it was moving. By the turn of the new year I was battered and bruised, but still hopeful. And I know that this, these emotions that I went through, were way out of proportion for a hobby writing project, but with every ask that came through telling me about your MC's budding journey in Ouro, every gushing emotion you've shared with me, every gleaming piece of art, every kind word; every correcting one, too, this grew to something really precious to me. I wouldn't give it up for anything, even if it feels like I'm barely keeping my head above surface in this terrifying, stormy sea of a life.

I can't wait to see what comes next, even if the road is bumpy. All I know is that I will keep chipping away at this story with everything I got. And all I can say is that I'm so grateful for your continued support and patience, I barely have words for it. You are incredible. Thank you.

Now, enough of my bleeding heart. Get over here! I have some treats to share.

Mainly, it is the little update to the demo that I'd like to share; Idren/Ida's 101. I did my best to finish it today, but I only had an hour or two of effective worktime (excuse: I was outside for most of the day in bloody blizzard and it knocked me on my ass more than I'd like to admit). It is cut off at the different scene transitions, which I will add after I have some time to work on them this saturday. Id's 101 was the most complex out of all of them, so there is still plenty to explore and different outcomes to see. I hope you have fun!

To see it, go through Lena's scene and don't scream -> accept alliance -> visit archives. That will take you to the new content. CW for very emotionally charged arguments and... almost dying.

Play it here. Save often. (or wait until next week as I sadly couldn't finish everything on time for the anniversary) (I have done bare minimum playtesting, but I will fix any gamebreaking errors if there are any, immediately. There shouldn't be any, but you never know.)

A sneakpeek of the short I also will be working on on saturday:

It is sunny on the day of $!{leith}'s funeral. It is not supposed to be sunny. It is supposed to rain on bad days, and the wind is supposed to whip dry leaves into dancing columns. Thunder is supposed to rumble in the distance, and then right near so that the even the windows rattle with trepidation. But it doesn't. The sun lounges calmly on the perfectly still water of Riven's lake, glittering with winking light as the serene waves lick the edge of the populated harbor. There is chatter, too, not the moaning whispers of grieving people. Not a sob to be heard, but the flutter of a laugh and a joyous embrace of lovers right in front of you. 

"People have forgotten, the sacrifice we made." Lyselin stands in full knight-hunter armor beside you, the silver gleaming in the stark light.

And some art of F!Leith that I have started:

♥ That's it. Know that I'm working as hard as I can (both on Ouro, and learning how to balance work around it, lmao.), even if I fall short sometimes, there ain't no quitting. See you soon!

[mintwithchoco]

beaux rêves: Ep 4 - Adrenaline

ITZY Yeji x Male Reader

Word Count: 2882 words

Categories: smut, oral, femdom, mommy kink, light bdsm, agent! yeji

aff link

“Stop!”

Avoiding each and every obstacle, the three agents chased down their target who was running through the top of a building, a person simply named “Killer Queen”. The chase was going on for five minutes - countless bullets directed towards each other missing their mark. The agents were running out of ammunition and their stamina wasn’t going to hold up any further.

“Does this guy have any lungs or what?! We’ve been chasing him for hours!” Ryujin shouts towards the others.

“Keep the pace! Eventually he’ll get tired too!” Yeji replied.

“Captain, permission to use Hierophant Green!” You asked Yeji while getting ready to press the button on your watch to summon the weapon mentioned.

“Permission granted!”

As soon as you press the button, your hands turn into a robotic state with green and white color schemes. You then put them close together, causing it to glow bright green and a water-like material is produced on your palms.

“Take this Killer Queen! Emerald Splash!” You shouted.

A giant energy blast was released from your palms which then takes on the form of emeralds, targeted and locked onto Killer Queen at a crazy speed. The agents were confident - Killer Queen had no way of escaping and they were gonna put an end to his crimes by giving him the punishment that he deserves.

But suddenly, Killer Queen flashes his jacket towards the blast and deflects them away, making the agents flinch away from him. They were shocked at the act and realized that this was not an easy enemy.

“What? There’s no way! No one can just deflect the Emerald Splash!” You said, shocked at the fact that The Mafia has overthrown your best attack.

"Hah! You utter fool! Your attacks are weak against me!" Killer Queen then throws a type of bomb towards you.

"Agent Mint!" Ryujin and Yeji shouted before watching you get sent flying in the air by the explosion from the bomb.

Both of them stopped chasing Killer Queen and ran towards your weak body that just fell to the ground. The explosion burned your suit and a little bit of your skin and your head was feeling super dizzy because of you hitting it on the cement roof. Blood started to pour out from a cut on your head, your vision was also starting to get blurry.

Before Yeji and Ryujin could reach you, you fainted because of your injuries. You hear their cries for you as your vision slowly turns black, your mind hoping that there's a chance help would arrive soon.

//timeskip//

Your eyes slowly open. Greeted by the bright ceiling light of the room, you squint your eyes and sit up to look around. You felt your head that was wrapped in bandages and saw a few cuts on your arms.

"Where...Where am I?" You ask yourself before hearing the door of the room being opened by Chaeryeong.

"Oppa! You're awake!" Chaeryeong rushes towards you and hugs you on the bed, making you eventually realize that you were in the ward room of the JYP HQ.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're still injured…" Chaeryeong said as she pulled away, noticing you wince from her sudden contact.

"It's fine. How long was I asleep, Chae? Are the others okay?" You asked her as she slowly sat on one of the chairs in the room.

"You've been unconscious for almost 3 days. The others are fine oppa, but…"

"What's wrong?"

"Yeji unnie…She's been out of place after the incident, always looking so frustrated, separating herself from us except during worktimes and most of all - not joining us at lunchtime." Chaeryeong sighed and pouted.

"Killer Queen has caused a lot of trouble for us, and I think she's stressed because of it. Don't worry, I'll try to talk it out with her."

"Alright…Anyways, how are you feeling now oppa?"

"I still feel a bit nauseous, but other than that, I'm a-okay!" You said while giving her a thumbs up, making her giggle cutely.

Suddenly, a knock was heard on the door, making you both flinch. You look at Chaeryeong with a questioning face and she replies back with a shrug. The door then was opened once again, revealing the person that knocked on it was Yeji.

"Oh, you're awake. And Chaeryeong, you're here early." Yeji said while closing the door.

"Y-Yeah...Thought that I would pay oppa a visit before I work. I was lucky enough to see him first awake, hehe~" Chaeryeong said as Yeji came to her right side.

"How do you feel now?" Yeji asked you, and your answer was still the same.

“I’m glad to hear that. Don't worry about the mission, you need to heal up first." Yeji said.

"10:30?!" Chaeryeong suddenly shrieked when she was looking at her watch on her wrist.

"Oppa, I gotta go. I promised Ryujin to help her out with uhh... something, yeah. Yeji unnie, take care of him alright? See you guys later!" Chaeryeong said before quickly rushing herself out of the room, leaving you and Yeji alone.

"Take...care…" You managed to say before Chaeryeong closed the door.

You face Yeji who looked like she was lost in thought. Remembering what Chaeryeong said about her situation recently, you were hesitant to ask her about it as she was looking frustrated. Silence filled the room with ease as you just observed the injuries that you got while Yeji just stared at you with her mind full of thoughts.

"Hey, are you okay?" You ask, breaking the silence between you two.

"Chae said that you’ve been looking distressed lately, is there something wrong?”

Yeji looked at you and was greeted with your concerned expression. She looked hesitant, biting her lips and keeping the gap of her thighs closed. You purse your lips, wondering why she was acting this way.

“...You said you were okay, right?”

“Yeah...Why?”

“Then, I’ll show you what’s wrong.” Yeji stood up from her seat and took off her boots and her socks. You were confused, but then she suddenly sat on your lower region that was covered with a blanket, making you shocked.

“Yeji what the-” Yeji silenced you by bringing a finger to your lips and her head gets close to your ear.

"I'm...sexually frustrated." She whispers softly into your ear, giving you shivers.

"H-Hey now Yeji…T-This is not the best place to be saying stuff like this-" You were cut off by Yeji's lips, deeply kissing you and forcing you to lean back to the headboard.

Your eyes widened. This was a wrongful act, you thought. But upon tasting her cherry lips, you instantly got addicted to it. Yeji demands more of you by forcing her tongue into your mouth, giving her access to dance with your tongue. You both exchanged saliva to each other while your hands promptly moved to her back, gently hugging her.

Eventually, you both ran out of oxygen and pulled away from each other by the force of nature followed with strings of saliva. You stared into each other's eyes, filled with lust, knowing what to do next.

"Mommy's been dying to taste your cock, baby. You don't know how many times I've cum just thinking about it." Yeji said while throwing the blanket away from your lap.

"M-Mommy?"

"Yes, mommy. What's wrong?"

"...N-Nothing, I love it." Yeji gave you a shy smile.

Yeji then kisses your neck hungrily, leaving a few deep red marks all over it as you start to moan at how good it felt. Her right hand unbuttons your shirt to reveal your toned body. After gawking at you, she marks you with her lips all over it until she reaches your abdomen.

Your cock was begging to be released from its confines due to her lust-filled kisses earlier. Yeji smirks as she notices your prominent bulge sticking out of your pants. She cups it gently, making you flinch a little and let out a few breathy moans.

"Fuck baby, I can't wait to taste your cock."

Yeji took off her belt and opened the zipper on her coat to be left with a sleeveless blue leather top. You were glad that she helped you to discard a part of her outfit since they were confusing to your eyes.

Her face was on your crotch once again and she took off your pants and your boxers slowly, being cautious as you were still a bit injured.

Your hard cock sprang out and throbbed instantly, finally feeling the cold temperature of the room. Yeji bites her lower lip as she looks at your cock standing proud, impressed by its size. She grasps it by the base, causing you to inhale air into your lungs until she starts stroking it fully, making you exhale in relief.

Precum starts to leak from your tip, hinting to Yeji that her handjob was going well. Her thumb collects it and spreads them all over your shaft as it keeps leaking more and more, eventually covering them as a whole. Your moans fueled Yeji to continue her work but her mouth was starting to water, hungry to get a taste of you.

"Get ready, baby. Mommy's gonna give you the best blowjob ever."

Without wasting any more time, she takes your cock inside her warm, inviting mouth. Starting with a slow pace, you throw your head back on the headrest, savoring how well her mouth was wrapped around your shaft. She was telling the truth about dying for your cock, her tongue was skillfully licking the underside of your shaft and swirling around your tip.

As she bobbed her head up and down to increase the pace, you closed your eyes. The extreme pleasure was felt in an instant because of your body being unconscious these past few days. You were even more sensitive than normal as your body kept shaking with pleasure as Yeji now fondled your balls with her left hand.

"Fuck mommy…" You moaned.

Yeji's eyes formed an inverted crescent upon hearing your moan. She continues to increase her pace on your cock, her mind sets a mission of wanting to make you feel good. That mission was already completed by how much you were moaning and sweating for her because of the pleasure.

When you looked down to see Yeji, you realized that her right hand was missing from your cock. Just then, you looked harder and noticed that she was touching herself as her leather pants were dangling on her knees, allowing her to gain access to her pussy. You knew it was hard for her to keep pleasuring you and herself, so you stopped her blowjob by holding onto her head.

"Mommy...let me help you." You told Yeji and she took the hint instantly as she released your cock from her mouth and turned her body around on her knees. At the same time, you laid down on the bed and Yeji moved backwards until her crotch was right in front of your face and vice versa.

She was dripping, her pussy glistening because of her wetness. You finish the job of taking off her pants alongside her panties and grab her thighs to bring them closer to your meal. Yeji was already back to her job of sucking your cock but suddenly, she moaned loudly as you pushed your tongue onto her clit, lightly penetrating it. Then, the whole of your lips sticks onto her pussy alongside Yeji now deepthroating your cock.

The ward room was filled with both of your moans, pleasuring each other at the same time. You were surprised that no one has opened nor knocked on the door. It was like the time was letting you feel this moment with Yeji. She continues to slightly choke herself on your cock while you lapped up every part of her pussy that was covered with her juices.

You knew that you were reaching your peak fast. You would love to see Yeji's mouth filled with your cum, but the sensitiveness of your cock right now can only be felt once in a while.

"Mommy, I wanna feel your pussy now." Yeji then pulls you out of her mouth, raises her body and straddles your stomach.

"You want mommy to fuck you?" Yeji said while tracing a pattern on your chest. You nodded quickly as a reply.

"You wanna feel how tight mommy is?" You nodded again but then, you were greeted by a hard slap on your left cheek.

"Don't ever tell mommy what to do." Yeji's tone was cold and harsh, throbbing your cock in response because of how scary and hot it was.

Her hand was back to your cock once again, stroking it gently with a smirk on her face. You didn’t know what she was planning to do, but you knew that it was definitely gonna be pleasuring. She raised her hips and hovered over your crotch, teasing the tip of your shaft on her pussy lips. Your breath started to come out shallow, the friction of her rubbing was getting into nerves as you grit your teeth when you felt a certain sensation hitting your body.

“M-Mommy, p-please…” You begged her.

“What was that baby?”

“Please fuck me mommy! I wanna feel mommy’s tight pussy and fill it up with my cum! Please mommy!” You gave in to her dominance, something that you never had done before.

Without saying any words back, she suddenly left the bed and grabbed something from her little pouch on the seat which was on her arm earlier. Before going back to the bed, she comes to your side and covers your eyes with some sort of cloth, your vision now was filled with darkness.

“Arms up.” You followed her instructions and Yeji ties both of your wrists to each side of the headboard with what you feel like a silky fabric.

“Hm, better.” You heard Yeji say before feeling the bed sink down and the warmness of her pussy was back on your erection. You also heard the sound of clothes being removed and thrown onto the floor, possibly her top and her bra which were the only things that were left on her body.

“Mommy’s gonna fuck you now since you begged for it.”

You didn’t even have time to prepare yourself as Yeji lowered down on your shaft, letting you feel the tightness of her pussy. She didn’t care about adjusting to your size anymore and kept slamming down her hips at a wild pace with a few satisfying groans from her sinful lips.

“Ahh fuck, you fill me up so well.” Yeji moaned as she slowed down her movements.

“Mommy’s so tight…”

Feeling that her hand was now on your stomach, you can imagine that Yeji was riding you with her ass facing towards you. You were a little frustrated at not having the vision of her perfect butt bouncing up and down your cock, but all these props that were put onto you were definitely increasing your arousal. Your shaft was drowned with her juices as you heard the wet sound of both of your crotches slapping against each other.

You never knew that you had a submissive side, and you have to thank Yeji for unlocking this new side of you. Sweat formed on both of your bodies as the air around was getting hotter due to her constant pace of riding your length. Suddenly, your cock impales her deeply until it reaches her g-spot, earning a loud sensual moan from Yeji.

“Fuck yeah, that’s the spot…”

Yeji penetrates herself in that same position over and over again. Her legs and body shakes in response, oxytocin fills her bloodstream in a large amount as her walls strongly clenches on your shaft. It wouldn’t take much longer for the both of you to reach your peak.

“Oh yeah, mommy’s going to cum all over your cock baby.”

“M-Me too, m-mommy, please don’t stop!”

“I would never.”

A few more slams was all it needed for Yeji to orgasm, drenching your cock with an enormous amount of her juices as her walls pulsated around your cock with such intense pressure. It causes you to hit your climax quickly after hers, emptying all of your build up load and filling up the entirety of her insides. You pull on the fabric on your wrists while moaning in a loud volume, wanting to hold her close as you orgasm but you were glad enough that you were deep inside her warm pussy.

“Ahh, fill me up, fill me up….” Yeji said as you sent a few more shots of your thick seed into her womb.

As you both were a panting mess, Yeji lifts off of your shaft inch by inch, both of your mixed cum slowly drips out of her before it leaks out in a large amount and stains the bed below. You felt Yeji’s hand taking off your blindfold and once your vision was back, a sight of Yeji showing her pink splayed lips that was messy with both of your juices. She sighed in satisfaction and leaned her head close to your ear to whisper something.

“From now on, you will be mommy’s fucktoy.”

[laughloji]

A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.

A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Air conditioned environment - Do

not

open Windows!

All computers wait at the same speed.

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Willyoupleasehelpmefixmykeyboard?Thespacebarisbroken!

All you need to know is the user interface.

Any programming language is at its best before it is implemented and used.

Any program that runs right is obsolete.

A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those from?

A program is never finished until the programmer dies.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user.

A user will find any interface design intuitive...with enough practice.

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat [Y/N]?

Be aware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.

Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."

Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

Buy a Pentium 586/200 so you can reboot faster.

Cannot load Windows 95, Incorrect DOS Version.

COFFEE.EXE Missing---Insert Cup and Press Any Key.

Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source.

Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."

Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying.

Computer programmers do it byte by byte.

Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.

Computers are a more fun way to do the same work you'd have to do without them.

Computers are like air-conditioners: both stop working, if you open windows.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.

Computers can never replace human stupidity.

Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.

Computers follow your orders, not your intentions.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Crashing is the only thing windows does quickly.

Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?

Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.

Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

Don't compute and drive; the life you save may be your own.

Don't document the program; program the document.

Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.

Don't let the computer bugs bite!

DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something!

DOS Tip: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

Email returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

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Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

Error:015: Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.

Error: Problem exists between keyboard and chair.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...

Every bug you find is the last one.

Every time I type 'win', I loose ...

Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with the software.

.....File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

For any problem there is a solution that is simple, quick, and ultimately worse than the problem.

Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Hi, my name is Any Key. Please don't hit me!

Hiroshima..45........Tjernobil..86........Windows..95....

Hit any user to continue.

Home is where the computer is plugged in.

How an engineer writes a program: Start by debugging an empty file...

I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?

I finally made my stupid computer faster; I dropped it out of the window, and it went really fast.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce today would cost $100, get a million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.

I have a dream: 1073741824 bytes free.

I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would take many men many months to equal it.

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking.

It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.

It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit.

It's not a bug; it's an undocumented feature.

It works! Now if only I could remember what I did...

I wish life has a scroll back buffer.

Keyboard : Instrument used to enter errors into computer.

Keyboard not connected, press F1 to continue.

MACINTOSH stands for Most Applications Crash If Not The Operating System Hangs.

Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(ln(13e))]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

Melted fruit snacks found on Keyboard. Delete nephew [Y/N]?

MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software is Only for Fools and Teenagers.

Mommy! The cursor's winking at me!

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Never say "OOPS!" always say "Ah, Interesting!"

No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier.

Of course I know how to copy disks. Where's the xerox machine?

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K words.

Operator! Trace this call and tell me where I am.

Owners of digital watches: Your day's are numbered!

Oxymoron: Microsoft Works.

Press any key...no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue....

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.

Programmer's Time-Space Continuum: Programmers continuously space the time.

RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.

Reference Manual: Object that raises the monitor to eye level. Also used to compensate for that short table leg.

Scheduled Release Date: A carefully calculated date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting six months from it.

Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

Shutting down networkservers reguarly during worktime prevents RSI and develops social contacts at work.

Speed Kills! Use Windows.

System going down at 1:45 for disk crashing.

The box said: 'install on Windows 95, NT 4.0 or better'. So I installed it on Linux.

The definition of an upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

The name is Baud......, James Baud.

The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.

The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'.

The Queue Principle: The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.

There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.

There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

There can never be a computer language in which you cannot write a bad program.

There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.

These settings will have no effect until you restart the system.

Reset Universe (Y/N) ?

Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot teach, HACK!

To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

User error: replace user and press any key to continue.

Warning, keyboard not found. Press Enter to continue.

What boots up must come down.

Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

Why do they call this a word processor? It's simple, ... you've seen what food processors do to food, right?

Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Windows 3.1 not found: (C)heer, (P)arty, (D)ance?

Windows is NOT a virus. Viruses DO something.

WINDOWS stands for Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.

Windows: the ultimate triumph of marketing over technology.

You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.

You don't have to know how the computer works, just how to work the computer.

You forgot to do your backup 16 days ago. Tomorrow you'll need that version.

You had mail, but the super-user read it, and deleted it!

You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.