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lieslab · 11 days ago

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Do not go gentle into that good night

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Minho X afab reader

Summary: You've been waiting months to meet your baby, but giving birth doesn't go the way you and your husband expected it to.

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 6.8k

Trigger warning: Mentions of blood, nausea, giving birth, bodily fluids, and near death experiences.

A/N: I combined two pregnancy requests for this and all I have to say is good luck. This took me three hours to write. This is one of my favorite things I've ever written. Yes, it does have references to Interstellar. It felt right and I feel like I'm going to think about this for the rest of my life. Enjoy <3

_ _ _

Having a baby is one of the most difficult things a person can do in their life. Expected or not, no matter the conscious decision, it’s bound to be life-changing. When you go from you to we. From me to us. One to two, possibly three or more.

For you and Minho, it’d been a conversation held in passing before. Jokes about someone created with each of your DNA and quirks. Maybe your eyes and his lips. His eyebrows and the length of your lashes. You always laughed and joked, never knowing when the time was right, and then it was there.

A heavy decision between the two of you, but you both agreed to it. Nine months and a few weeks ago, you didn’t know what caused it. Perhaps, it was the conversations from his parents when they jokingly asked when their grandchildren would no longer be cats.

Maybe it happened because Minho caught you staring at a baby while the two of you were grocery shopping one day. The way your eyes lit up and a smile naturally came to your face. When the child’s mother stepped around the cart to grab something and for a brief moment, the stranger’s child held eye contact with you. The way it didn’t feel like a coincidence, but rather a silent promise from the universe. When the time was right, you’d have your baby, too.

Two months and six days into your pregnancy, you bombarded Minho with baby name books from the library. You forced him into a chair in the kitchen and pointed out all the names you liked. He couldn’t be mad at you. Exhausted from dance practice? Absolutely, but the way you were so happy, there’s no way he could ruin that for you.

The taunting and teasing never stopped throughout your pregnancy and for that, you were grateful for. You didn’t know what you’d do without it. After the shock melted away and you realized you were pregnant, you grew fearful that things would change.

Perhaps, he’d have second thoughts and regret it. Maybe he’d decide to leave, despite the vows you took and the way the golden bands wrapped around each of your fingers day-after-day. Your own self-doubt wrapped around you like an oversized sweater, but when Minho took that oath at the altar, he vowed to keep it forever.

In sickness and in health. Every time he could be, he was there. He took extra days off work when your morning sickness appeared. When your feet swelled up and tears flooded your eyes, he was right there to soothe you and gently work his fingers into the bottom of your foot.

When your body changed against your will and to your disappointment, he was right there consoling you. You laid in his lap, feelings scattered from the hormonal changes, but he didn’t taunt you for what you couldn’t control. You hated the new puffiness in your face. The way your stomach poked out with a baby bump.

Other days, you were glowing. He’d wake up to you in the kitchen with multiple ingredients spread out. Humming beneath your breath, you manned the stove like a seasoned fry cook. He constantly worried, he always did. When he tried to gently work the spatula from your hand, you swatted him and told him to leave you alone. Despite your growing belly, you could manage this, for now.

Tying your shoes was another issue. At first, you tried to slip into them while they were still tied. The first time you realized that you could no longer reach your feet, you chucked your shoe in a random direction. Minho appeared, just barely dodging it in time.

It slammed into the wall with a heavy thud, but he didn’t lecture you. Instead, he grabbed it and slid onto the ground beside you. When he grabbed your ankles and gently slipped your shoes around them, you burst into sobs. It was only then that he teased you about crying because he had to touch your reeking shoes. That only caused you to send the other in his direction.

The days and weeks ticked by. Month-after-month marched on. One week until your due date. Two days until your due date. You circled it bright red on the calendar. The day came and then it went. You waited for a sign of your water breaking, but it never came.

On day three, you grew antsy. Your doctor promised she’d induce your pregnancy if you hadn’t popped by the end of the week. Minho offered hot sauce, but you declined. Myths didn’t work on you. You weren’t convinced that it’d break your water. If it did, you’d be trapped in the hospital with heartburn.

Day four, Minho hesitated to go into work, but you insisted. Vowing promises that you’d call if anything changed or happened, he spent the entire day with his phone on. Not once did it ring or ping with a text message.

On that fateful day, the stars aligned. Deep down, you could feel it in your gut. It wasn’t just the baby pressing up against your bladder again, but rather a maternal instinct. The baby was coming, regardless if you were ready or not. You had to be. In a matter of hours or a few days, your family of two would turn into a trio.

The nursery was a conversation that you and Minho spent a lot of time on. Back and forth, your opinions swayed and changed. You didn’t know the gender of the baby, you opted to be surprised. You weren’t really worried, not really. In your head, colors are colors and no matter boy or girl, you’d love them all the same.

The nursery didn’t have to be blue or pink. For nearly two hours one night, you and Minho went back and forth discussing different ideas. At first, it was animals. Painted giraffes that’d stare over your baby with inanimate protection and admiration in their dark eyes.

A small bookshelf full of baby books about a variety of different creatures. Some with creepy crawly bugs and others with the larger than life creatures hanging beneath the ocean currents. The woodland creatures hiding behind trees and tangled in the forest’s underbelly.

Maybe a few of those larger plush animals to settle around the room. When they grew older, your baby could pretend they were real. Everything feels larger when you’re that young. A knee high stuffed elephant to you, but a real life sized one to them.

The wheels shifted and turned in another direction. Minho mentioned a brief obsession he had as a young boy. Space and the aligning planets. The silent vacuum and unraveling darkness.

Maybe you could plant a spaceship inspired bookcase. Painted bright colors and lined with knowledge, you’d coo your kid into becoming the best explorer. Even if the world is scary and dangerous, you’d send them out there into the great beyond. No matter where life took them, you’d try to be the best parents that you could possibly be.

And then it all changed again. Something simple and easily changeable. After all, this would be the room where your baby would grow up. They’d age and flicker through the phases of life, just as you and Minho had. It had to be rational, expandable, able to be switched around to house whatever beauty that growing mind dreamt up.

And so you decided on a gentle night. Originally, you wanted to decorate with Minho and Minho alone, but when he announced the guys wanted to help, your heart swelled. A heart-stopping and warm reminder that you weren’t just raising this baby alone, you had a village.

You remembered the day like it was yesterday. Felix with denim overalls and Chan and Changbin waltzing in behind him with two gallons of paint in each hand. Jeongin handed everyone brushes and everyone got busy. Too much paint, but the guys didn’t care.

Minho’s arm wrapped around you. He kissed your cheek and all you could do was stare. The laughter and imagination ran wild. Hyunjin’s large bright strokes of color across the white room. On the opposite side, paint from Han’s paintbrush leaked onto Seungmin. He quickly apologized, but Seungmin retaliated by painting his elbow.

What should have taken hours, it only took two. When they finished, Minho led the guys downstairs to help build the crib. You walked around to take photos. You’d never remember this day perfectly as it unwound, but you wanted to try.

The guys often stopped by unexpectedly. It took time before the two of you began to expect it. Chan coming over to make you a hearty and fulfilling meal. Felix randomly appearing with Jeongin and a plateful of his brownies.

When Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, and Seungmin appeared all together one day and offered to take you out to get your mind off your worries about the baby, you collapsed in Seungmin’s arms sobbing. Gripping onto him tightly, you thanked him over and over again. All he could do was weakly console you and look to the guys for help, but he was on his own. He wasn’t used to your high-strung emotions, nobody was.

The days all kept going and going and going. You waited and waited and waited. In the nursery, you and Minho finished it alone. Using puffy brushes, you dabbed white amongst the blue to replicate puffy white clouds. You tried to help Minho put glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, but he refused. Having you stand on a ladder and reach up, it was far too much stress and a disaster waiting to happen.

In the end, sitting in your rocking chair and gently rocking, it felt like being in the clouds. A white soft rug sat in the middle of the floor. You planned to use it for tummy time when the timing was right.

Shades of lighter blue and white filtered around the room. From plushies, curtains, and to a variety of other things, the only thing missing was your kid. You knew they’d be here soon, you just didn’t know when the time would be right.

You rocked in your rocking chair and waited. Minho’s vocals bounced off the recording studio’s walls. Anxiety pulsed in his stomach and he rocked on his feet, waiting for Chan’s approval to continue singing or not.

Your hands wrapped around your stomach. “You’ve been in there such a long time, but I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. I think you’re really going to love it here. Your father and I have spent so long waiting for you. He’s just as excited as I am.”

A faint kick hit the palm of your hand, causing you to smile. “I bet you’re tired of being in there, aren’t you? Whenever you’re ready, we’ll be waiting for you.” You laughed to yourself, amused with the idea of your baby rationalizing your words and understanding your thoughts.

You pushed against the arms to get up, but that’s when you felt it. Something shifted internally. Your eyebrows pinched together in pain and your hand went back to your stomach. “Easy there, you’re hurting me. Try not to get too squirmy or I’ll have to call the doctor.”

You couldn’t understand it, not fully. Something was happening, but you weren’t sure what. The sun continued to wind down from afternoon into evening. Minho reappeared at the end of the day and kicked off his shoes.

You sat with your cheek slung over the edge of the couch. Anxiety brewed, but you didn’t know what to say to Minho, or your doctor. Your water didn’t burst. You weren’t bleeding vaginally. Besides an occasional pain in your stomach, nothing happened.

“How’s my baby?”

“I’m good,” you mumbled from the couch.

“I meant our child.”

You glanced over with an unamused scowl. Minho grinned and slowly approached you. “I’m just kidding. Did anything change while I was away?”

Your mouth opened and you considered telling him, but you decided against it. Worrying him was pointless, he was already anxious enough. After your due date, you knew he worried as much as you. You could tell by the way that he kept glancing over and looking at you when he thought you were distracted.

“Not really. A lot of bumps to my bladder, unfortunately, but I’ve made it to the bathroom every time. It’s probably a good thing I took time off work for maternity leave, right?” You forced yourself to smile.

He eyed you and nodded. You didn’t pull away, allowing him to lean down and press a soft kiss to your forehead. “Only a few more days until we officially become parents. I can’t wait to be a parent beside you.”

“Do you think we’ll be good parents?”

“I know we’ll be good parents. If we don’t know the answers, we have your parents and my parents. I’m sure if we needed to, the guys’ parents would help out, too. Some of my staff members are also parents. They’re all taking bets on the gender of the baby.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He reached down and pressed a gentle hand to your stomach. “I hope you’re a boy. If you’re a girl, I owe my manager fifty bucks.”

“Lee Minho!”

“Hey, let’s be serious, do you think I’d really pay up if our baby is a girl? I’m going to use the excuse that I’m a first time father. You know how my manager feels about me, right?”

“You’re being manipulative and cruel.”

“I’m winning fifty bucks for this family and when I win it, we’re going out for a nice dinner.”

“With the baby?” Your eyebrow raised.

“Oh, no. At some point, we’re going to use a break. I think my mom misses me being a baby sometimes. She’ll get to experience it all over again with our little one.” He patted your stomach a few times and pulled away. “I’ve gotta go shower, but if you need something, call me. I’ll make us dinner when I’m finished.”

You watched him disappear back into the bathroom. The pain in your stomach grew and you waited for your water to burst. You expected warmth between your legs. A gush that felt like you urinated everywhere, but it never came. Instead, nothing happened and the evening continued to unravel like usual.

~ ~ ~

The neon red letters of your clock read 2:11 AM. You blinked, groggily coming around. Behind you, Minho slept facing the opposite wall. Every night, he tossed and turned between the blankets and the mattress. Tonight, it wasn’t any different.

However, something caused you to jerk upright. You blinked blearily, trying to get a good grasp on your surroundings. Your hand blindly fumbled over towards your husband. “Minho?” You whispered softly.

He shifted and his nose scrunched. In the darkness of the bedroom, night swallowed both of you whole. You forced your arm to shake his shoulder harder. Your voice came out a little louder this time. “Minho?”

He groaned and spun around. “No, I don’t wanna get up. I have the day off. Leave me alone and let me sleep.”

“Minho, there’s something wrong with the baby.”

His eyes cracked open and the words echoed in his head. One time. Twice. Three times and then he jerked himself up so fast, you feared you gave him whiplash. “What? What’s wrong? Did your water break? Are you bleeding?”

His hands pawed around as he pushed himself up from the bed. He fumbled, attempting to find the switch to click on the lamp. “What’s going on? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

“I’ve been having what I think are contractions since yesterday afternoon and I-”

The faint click caused both of your eyes to shut. Bright yellow light blinded both of you immediately. You groaned and tucked your hands around your stomach. It took a few seconds before he opened his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I felt weird yesterday.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Panic laced his voice. A hand ran through his hair and he looked for the bags the two of you previously packed. Two bags, one for each of you. Both were filled with items to last you throughout your hospital stay.

“I didn’t want to worry you. My water didn’t break and for so long, I thought it might be in my head.”

“We have to get you to the hospital right now.”

“Something’s wrong. I don’t know what it is, but it’s wrong. I don’t understand it. My water hasn’t broken. I’m not bleeding. I can feel the baby moving, but I-”

“Let’s go!”

He wasted no time slinging the bags over his shoulders and gently helping you to your feet. In your pajama shorts and oversized t-shirt, sleep still clung to you. Instead of walking, you waddled down the hall. Not something you liked doing, but something you learned how to do as your stomach kept expanding in front of you.

You tried to remember the way your house looked. Two lovers with vows gifted to the gods. Golden rings around your fingers and a baby kept comfortable in your stomach. You remembered the excitement in your eyes when the two of you agreed to have a baby. The giddiness in your skips to the bedroom. Minho’s laughter filled the crevice of every fault in your heart.

When you came back home, you’d be a new family of three.

~ ~ ~

“You did the right thing by coming in. How long did you say you’ve been having these pains?” The doctor glanced up from between your legs.

“Since yesterday afternoon.”

“Well, I have good news and bad news.”

Beside you, Minho’s hand slipped into yours and he gently squeezed your hand. The doctor smiled at the two of you, a silent reassurance that despite the bad, you’d be in good hands. “The good news is this is completely fixable.”

“And the bad?”

“Well, childbirth is never easy, is it?”

“So you’re saying that things are okay?” You squeezed Minho’s hand tighter, hoping for reassurance. He grimaced, but didn’t tell you to let go.

“What you’re experiencing right now is labor arrest. Technically, you’re in labor, but your contractions aren’t strong enough to help open your cervix. We want your cervix open, so we can get the baby out vaginally.” The doctor pushed back on her stool and began to remove her gloves.

“So this is fixable?”

“I’m going to have a nurse administer a certain medicine via IV drip. It’ll help push you further into labor. Your contractions will increase and although it might not feel great, it’ll help you dilate more. The cervix expands ten centimeters.”

“How big is that exactly?”

“Roughly? About the size of the lid of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream pint.”

Minho’s face began to grow pale. “Not to sound insensitive here, but I’m so glad I’m not pregnant. You’re so strong and you can definitely do this.”

You glanced up, not thrilled at his words. He gave you a faint smile and gently patted the top of your hand. “Don’t worry, there’s ways to help with pain, right?” He glanced up at the doctor for reassurance.

“Of course. If the contractions become too bad and too painful, we can always administer an epidural to numb you from the waist down. I know it’s scary, but don’t worry, you’re in good hands” The doctor patted your shoulder and disappeared from the room.

Beside you, Minho let out a soft sigh. “I guess for now, it’s just another waiting game, huh?”

“At least our baby is okay.” Your hands kept steady around your stomach. Ever since you arrived, you didn’t let go. It was the closest thing you could get to holding your baby for now. “Let’s just hope and pray it goes smoothly from this point on.”

~ ~ ~

Sometime in the early morning, you weren’t sure what went wrong. You tried to do everything right for this pregnancy. No alcohol or caffeine. You limited yourself to the exposure of germs. Hand washing became more and more frequent.

It all went so smoothly after the nurse administered an IV and ran medication into it. Your contractions picked up and when the option for an epidural came around, you took it. You waited and waited and waited some more.

Minho tried to keep you entertained. He texted everyone to let them know you were in labor. You texted your own family to give them the exciting news. You were bound to the bed after your epidural, it’s not like you could go anywhere with the lower half of your body numbed, but you were still excited.

Your hands patted your numbed thighs. Every so often, the doctor came back to check your dilation. You were progressing so well throughout the morning and she was sure you could begin pushing by noon.

Your kid was almost here. Nine months and a handful of days of waiting. You waited for this moment for so long. You thought about the satisfaction of giving birth in your worst moments.

Leaning over the toilet and projectile vomiting as your stomach twisted and turned, you held onto the thought of staring into your child’s eyes one day. When you cried over not being able to tie your shoes without help, you reminded yourself that your own kid would take their very first steps. You’d be right there with Minho to experience it all.

You pouted when Minho ate something you couldn’t have. He tried not to eat what you couldn’t have, but he was only human. Sometimes he caved and had sushi or the occasional alcoholic drink. You couldn’t blame him. If the roles were reversed, you’d indulge, too. It still hurt your heart and your sensitive hormones when it happened.

“Push!” The doctor instructed you. “Come on, I know it hurts, but you’ve gotta keep going. I can see the head. Just a little more.”

Minho couldn’t feel his hand. He couldn’t feel his hand ten minutes ago. If he would have known you would have destroyed it while giving birth, he would have worked out his hands with those hand cranks.

“I can’t!” You cried out with tears in your eyes. “I can’t push anymore.”

“You don’t have a choice, you have to. Come on, you can do this!”

Tears dripped down your cheeks. Your body had been through absolute hell for hours. The epidural began to wear off and they refused to give you another. Sweat dripped down the side of your flushed face.

“Come on,” Minho whispered gently. “A few more pushes and you never have to do this again.”

“This is all your fault!” You snapped angrily. “You got me pregnant!”

“I know, I know.”

“Push!” The doctor instructed again.

Behind her, a handful of nurses awaited the arrival of your little one. They were already prepped with the towels and the warmer. Brightly colored scrubs and the white nasal aspirator to clear out their nose and mouth from amniotic fluid.

You gritted your teeth and with a cry of frustration, you began to push again. The head and shoulders were always the worst part. Your cervix sat wide open and you still thought it’d stretch and tear. If you were lucky, you’d manage to escape this without ripping down to your ass.

“How fucking big is this goddamn baby?” Your eyes squeezed shut and you pushed again.

“I think that’s a little offensive.”

“Shut the fuck up, Minho!”

Between your legs, the doctor tried to stop her laughter. Kind green eyes, hair pulled back, and gloves soaked with amniotic fluid, she coached you to push again. Minho’s hand turned white from the force of your fingers clenching around it.

He forced himself to take his own deep breaths. He breathed how the doctor instructed you to breathe. It was the only thing stopping him from jerking his hand away and screaming at the top of his lungs.

“I can see the head! Keep pushing! You’re almost there! A few more and you’ve got it! Come on!”

“Minho?” You croaked, wrenching his hand a final time. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“No, no, no. You can. You can do this. I didn’t stand here and get the bones broken in my hand for nothing. Push!”

Your scream bounced off the walls. It hit everyone’s ears. The pain, the determination, and the grit that only a mother can carry. The doctor’s hands swooped in and for a brief second, the pain stopped. Your cries weren’t the only one.

“You did it,” Minho whispered. He leaned down, wrapped a hand around your head, and gently tucked you to his stomach. “Did you hear me? You did it.”

Tears steadily streamed down your cheeks. You didn’t take your eyes off your baby. Passed from doctor to nurse, the nurse rushed in to take care of the wailing and choking baby. The doctor beamed and turned back to you.

“It’s a boy! You’re having a boy! Congratulations, you did an amazing job.”

Minho blinked rapidly, trying not to cry. Nurses worked frantically through the cries. A tiny suction in the back of the throat and pulled out. In one nasal and then the other. He reached up and wiped his eyes before the tears could fall.

You, on the other hand, dread grew in your gut. A dizziness overtook you and your grip on Minho’s hand weakened. “Minho?” You whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t feel very good.”

The doctor caught your words and glanced up. The moment she realized the color of your face was fading, her eyes widened. “Hey! I need some help over here!”

Unoccupied nurses glanced back at you.

“Sutures stat! We’ve got hemorrhaging!” She jerked her surgical mask back over her face and rushed back between your legs.

You didn’t know what was happening, but you could feel it. Warmth flooded between your legs. It soaked the bed sheet beneath you and spread out in every direction. The doctor cursed beneath her breath and grabbed a cloth to place pressure on the bleeding.

“What’s going on?”

“The baby was larger than expected. When that happens, sometimes there’s tearing. Stitches are going to be needed.” The doctor called your name and glanced back up at your face. “Can you hear me?”

“Baby?” Minho reached up and gently tapped your cheek. “Stay awake. Do you hear me? Don’t close your eyes. You’re going to be okay. They’re going to fix you and-”

“I love you.”

His heart dropped. Three little words that held so much weight. He dropped to his knees, tucking your face between his hands. “Don’t you dare leave me here. Fight! Don’t fall asleep!”

In the distance, the baby cried louder. A nurse cooed, trying to console up as chaos broke loose in the background. Minho tapped your cheek rapidly, but your eyes drooped further and further shut.

“No, no, no. Wake up. Wake up! WAKE UP! Don’t leave us here!”

“Get him out of here, now!”

“No!”

A nurse rushed to his side. “Sir, please.”

“I’m not leaving!”

“You need to let the doctor work. Please, you’re only making this worse for everyone involved.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

He didn’t get a choice in the end. Not willingly. Another nurse appeared, a male with biceps protruding beneath his light pink scrubs. “Sir, we’re not asking you, we’re telling you.”

Your eyes drooped until your head slumped back against the hospital bed. A suture kit found the doctor’s hand and she began to instruct a nurse what she needed from her. Her hands worked methodically. This wasn’t the first time she raced death to save a patient after giving birth.

He fought against the man-handling, but it was no use. All he could do was call out your name through the cries of your newborn son. Stepping outside felt like losing both of you.

A family of three and now possibly, back to a family of one.

~ ~ ~

Minho didn’t pray. Not regularly. Not religiously. Not as much as he probably should. Life was always hectic and believing in a higher power, it never took up too much time in his life.

In the hospital chapel, at first, he prayed; then he called his mom.

She picked up on the third ring. A soft spoken voice that he’d found comfort in ever since he was a child. “Mom?”

“Hi, honey! How is everything? Is it going well?”

It broke him. Between the barren wooden pews, the stained glass windows, and the image of Jesus in the front of the altar, he burst into tears. He called out to his mother and his voice may have changed from childhood to puberty, but the need for his mother did not.

On the opposite end of the phone, his mother frowned. She clutched the phone tighter and tried to get through her son’s grief. “Honey, what happened? What’s wrong? You’ve got to talk to me, sweetheart.”

“S-she-”

“Did something happen to your wife?”

“Hemorrhaging.”

“Oh, Minho.”

Her words sent him into another sob that he couldn’t hold back. How many times had he tried to hold back his sobs as a kid? Back when he fell off the bike for the first time and hit the pavement. When he toddled along on stubby legs and unexpectedly hit the ground with a faint thud.

Being a parent never ends, never fully. At least, it’s not supposed to. At the end of the day, that book always shut. Who disappears first? The parent or the child? No matter what, it always hurts.

A sting that zaps your heart and buries into every part of your life. It strikes you at the wrong time. The mourning for your kid. The loss of a parent. It never goes away, not really. The years travel by and the hurt lessens, but it doesn’t mean it never aches.

At that moment, his mother wished she could climb through the phone and hug him. It didn’t matter that he’d turned into a man. In her heart, he’d always be her baby. His cats were the closest thing she’d get to being around him all the time.

You cannot keep your kid in a cage. You have to let them explore the world around them. Nurture them right and send them on their way. If your kid doesn’t learn how to navigate the outside world, they’ll never strengthen the wings to gain flight. If you do it right, they’ll come back.

Like a pigeon, they’ll find their way back home. Chirping and hopping. Cooing with a new shiny thing. Stories about their career and new friends. A final love, a new family, something more that fills their heart, just the way that they’ve always filled yours.

“I-I’m trying to stay positive, Mom. I’m so scared. What if-”

“I know it’s scary, but I have to believe that she’ll overcome this.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“I believe it, the exact same way that I believed when your father and I had you.”

~ ~ ~

Do not go gentle into that goodnight.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

The memories flickered like the lash of a sudden spark. Flipping through clouded currents and forming in between static filled channels. You remember what life was like as a kid. You remember it all.

The bright green grass and the way the butterfly wings flapped. The melodic sound of the ice cream truck and the way a late family member laughed at the sight of your sticky face. It dripped down your chin and coated your collar.

The bees came by, betting on which one of them could taste the sweetness first. They never had a chance. Not when your mother whisked you away to wipe off the sticky remnants of another early summer.

People filled the beach at the first lake you went to. They speckled up and down the sandy shore. Umbrellas stuck out to shield the harsh sunlight. It blinded your sensitive eyes as you rushed with arms up to meet the water.

Your father called after you, warning you to be careful. You were still young. This much water all at once, it was still so new to you. Some unkept secret that some higher power stashed away. You remember the way the cool water hit your toes. Love grew in your bones and then you dived in.

A conversation in passing that you had with your mother nearly a decade ago. Sitting beside her while she folded her laundry. You didn’t know where the words came from, but you blurted them out anyway. “I don’t know if I want kids.”

“Oh, but you will. Having kids, it’s the most rewarding and best thing ever. When you have them, treat them right and they’ll always come back to you.”

A familiar smile, the same eyes as you, and two decades older. I am all that you can be. You are what I could have been. Two separate generations can dream and conquer the same exact thing.

In the winter snow, you flopped face down. Bundled in too many layers, brought to you proudly by your mother. Because if too much skin was exposed, you’d surely freeze to death.

Minho’s eyes held you captive the first time you saw him. You always romanticized the idea of dating a singer. A singer. A song-writer. A dancer.

Someone who jerks and throws their limbs out, creating a story in their own way. Words on a page, hidden inklings of their soul. The words unveil and pulse out into the world. A happy jingle. A devastating ballad. Whatever they sang, they always breathed life into the story behind the words.

You never believed in love at first sight. Not really. Not until that moment. You tipped over and free fell into a vat of sticky syrup, but you didn’t fight against it. Minho’s wit sucked you in. Every talent unlocked, you began to think he was superhuman.

Touching created sparks. No matter how minor, your heart banged like a drum. A never-ending current danced through your body with him. Your cheeks flushed red and even if he laughed at you, it never really mattered.

The two of you had something special. Special enough to make that leap of faith to the altar. Two families became one. He forced his cats to make a brief appearance in cat sized tuxedos. You didn’t know why, but he did.

Your laughter set his soul ablaze. With you, every mountain felt like a molehill. Your joy was his. He’d collect the stars and bottle them to help you find your way through the dark. He wasn’t a collector, but he wrote down every moment with you.

Write the memories and trudge through the passage of time. Hand-in-hand, life felt better with you. Not just a partner, but a lover. Someone he could hold and mend. Whenever he didn’t feel good enough, he just looked over at you.

From day one, your face never changed when you looked at him. A softness bloomed. Something sweeter, kinder, and simpler. You were his to keep forever, just as he was yours.

The first cry of your baby before you blacked out, the sound of your husband telling you to fight, it powered something indescribable. Humans are capable of anything if they believe hard enough. Some call it pure delusion and some call it God.

If there is a constant push of will, humans will always, always find a way. You found your way in that hospital room. Despite the blood oozing down the doctor’s gloves and staining the sheets, your heart kept beating. It weakened briefly, but it never stopped.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

~ ~ ~

When your eyes reopened, Minho was the first to grab your hand. Two tears slipped down his cheeks and rolled against the warmth of his neck. It was so unlike him, you had to look again to see if you were seeing it right.

“Minho?” Your voice cracked.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you. You’re okay. The doctor stabilized you and it’s okay now. Don’t worry, I’m right here.”

“The baby?”

“He’s okay, too. He’s on the other side of you sleeping. The doctor let him stay in the incubator right here. All his vitals are good. The only problem is that he lacks a name.”

He slipped his hand into yours and gently squeezed it. He didn’t care about the bruising around his dominant hand. All he cared about was your safety and health. He reached the back of your palm to his lips and planted the warmth of a kiss.

“You’re both okay?”

He weakly chuckled and nodded. “Now that you’re okay, yes. We’re both okay. We’ve been waiting for you to come back to us. It’s time for us to be parents now.”

“Minho?” You whispered as your eyes drooped.

“Hm?”

“I’m so scared.”

“I’m scared too, but that’s okay. My mom said that it’s completely normal to be scared. If you’re scared and still trying your best, you’re probably doing it right, apparently.”

“I love your mom.”

“I love her, too.”

A silence broke out in the space between you. Still exhausted from your brush against death, Minho couldn’t blame you for wanting to go back to sleep. He reached up and pushed a strand of hair from your forehead.

“Have you held him?”

His head shook. “I considered it, but you carried him in your stomach for nine months. I figured that you should be the first parent to hold him.”

“Can you bring him to me?”

“Doesn’t that mean I get to be the one to hold him first?”

“I don’t care, I want to see our son.”

He sighed and gently released your hand. “I have to warn you before I hand him over. He’s very, very cute. He has my eyes and your eyebrows.”

“Does he have your prominent cupid's bow?”

“If I said yes?”

“I’d be the happiest person alive.”

“You’ll be happy to hear that he does. He’s also completely bald and looks a little like an old man, but the nurses said that’s temporary.”

Your eyes cracked open. You watched Minho gently scoop the newborn up from the incubator. The baby curled against his chest and he carefully brought him towards you.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to say that thought out loud.”

“Look at the cute little hat. If I ask the guys, maybe they can purchase some cute beanies for his bald head. I can’t have him looking like Hyunjin. This little guy is the perfect size to put in the air fryer.”

“If you air fry our son, I’m putting you in the oven.”

“Fair enough.” He lowered himself down and carefully shimmied the baby into your awaiting arms. “There you go.”

The moment he settled into your arms, a wave of peace hit you. A baby in your arms and Minho by your side. Your eyes shut before you began to speak. “Hi, we’re your parents.”

“He needs an introduction to us?”

“We can’t wait to raise you and have adventures.”

“You came back from the dead and turned into a sap.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and he gave you a smile. “I’m glad you came back. I love you, you know? I love both of you. Look at that, there’s two of you to love now.”

“I love both of you, too.”

“And a personality like Seungmin, the ungrateful kid can’t even say he loves us back.”

“Lee Minho, if I wasn’t in a hospital bed recovering from giving birth, I’d kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

While the two of them bickered, what they didn’t know was just merely a few feet away. In the doorway, Minho’s mother arrived with a bundle of brightly colored flowers in one hand and a thermos of warm seaweed soup in the other. She rushed here as fast as she could after Minho’s distressing phone call.

She didn’t break the bond between the two of you. Instead, she blinked back tears. Years ago, a similar situation played out between her and Minho’s father. A new bundle of joy in her arms and a lifetime of the unexpected paved out before them.

Just as they made it through the currents of life, so will Minho and you. Just as your son will. The next generation will follow and although it’ll always be difficult at times, time will march on. All the good meant to happen will find you. Always.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lia-linny @seungnishi @stellasays45 @emilyywhyy @rockstarkkami @flightlessackerman @inlovewithstraykids @velvetmoonlght @chrizrizz

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venomvalley · 6 days ago

Text

POISON AND PANACEA

pitfighter!vi x fem!reader | 5.3k words

SUMMARY: After ten years without a word, Vi comes back into your life like a whirlwind—sudden and destructive. What follows is a series of one-night stands that you both swear mean absolutely nothing. (Yeah, right.)

TAGS: 18+ only! switch!vi, childhood friends to fwb to ???, mental health issues, mentions of alcohol, blood and injury, sex as a coping mechanism, pining, angst, ambiguous ending.

NOTES: vi drives me absolutely insane idk what else to say. hopefully this is good and somewhat in-character cause im very nervous about that.

-> READ ON AO3 | ARCANE MASTERLIST

Through the whispers of nosy neighbors and bar gossip, your past comes back to haunt you. It takes the form of a woman fighting her way through champions in the Pit, some no-name hothead who reminds you of the angry little girl you befriended a long, long time ago.

Things were simple back then, but never easy; better times when you weren’t responsible for putting food on the table, and you never understood why your mom stressed the importance of staying close to home. Now, you work a job at a local consignment shop and pay your skeevy landlord way too much for such a shit apartment.

You knew her before she shortened her name to Vi, and before you could comprehend the idea of a crush. Violet was your first crush—you liked the way she stood up for you against the neighborhood bullies, always so brave and nice and cool with her pink hair—and you haven't seen her in over ten years. Last you heard, she was thrown in Stillwater for murder, and Powder fucked off to Janna-knows-where in the aftermath.

So you don’t expect a pounding on your front door in the middle of the night, and you really don’t expect the older version of your childhood friend to greet you. For a long moment, you consider the possibility that this is all just a vivid, lucid dream ripped straight from some dusty folder in your memory bank.

And then she speaks, shuffling on her feet in a strange, vertigo-esque dance. “I thought I’d find you here.”

The messy slur to her words gives her away. Drunk. Given the distance of your apartment to the nearest bar, you wonder how in the hell she even made it this far. What brought her here in the first place.

“Vi?”

Her but not. Choppy black hair, a blue-bruised undereye, taller than you remember. A nose ring that gives an edge to the soft features of her face now filled out with age. Tattooed on the cheek and neck and the bare skin of her forearms that you only notice when she steadies herself with a hand against the door frame.

“In the flesh.” She stretches out her arms and dips into a bow, almost plowing face-first into the floor. A good thing, then, that you saw it coming and use your own body to fight the gravity weighing her down.

Janna's tits, she's heavy. Skin woven over sinew, thick around the biceps that you grab to steady her. “Okay, uh. How about I get you some water?”

You open the door and wait patiently as she shuffles inside your apartment, before shutting it with a click then a metallic thump of the lock. When you turn around, she's sprawled out on the couch, a drawn-out, muffled groan reaching your ears.

This is fucking weird. After so many years, for her to show up at your door unannounced— rumors of her imprisonment notwithstanding—throws you off kilter. Really, you never thought you'd see her again. The flash of pink hair in a crowd at most, not… not this: her sucking the air from your living room, drooling a puddle into the fabric beneath her head, already snoring a symphony.

With a huff of breath, you leave to fetch a blanket from your closet, and come back to untie her scuffed-up boots before tucking her in for the night. You put her shoes next to the door, fill up a glass of water, and settle in for a sleep curled up on the floor in the living room. It’s instinct at this point. Staying close to listen for her cries, or the sound of her gagging, or her nightmare-catalyzed fussing.

(After her parents died, she suffered from horrible dreams. You stopped sleeping in her bed for a while during sleepovers, after one too many times of jolting awake to the sensation of bruising pain. A fist to your back, a kick to your knee, as if she was fighting something you couldn't comprehend.)

Throughout the night, she mumbles in her sleep. Wakes long enough to adjust her blanket then roll over, again and again. Until—

“You awake?”

Her voice filters through the static of the ether, and your eyes blink open to the blurry sight of the water-stained ceiling, a blue cast to the room from your moon-filtered window.

“You sober?”

“Unfortunately,” she grumbles, voice dragged through sharded glass. “Sorry about… everything.”

The couch creaks beneath her shifting weight as she turns to look at you, eyes unbearably blue even through the darkness. So pretty.

“How are you?” A pressing question you've been itching to know, alongside the curious what the hell happened? and a less polite why are you here?

“What do you think?”

“I haven't seen you in ten years. How the hell would I know?”

You can feel the snark coming, an electric sizzle to the air, and the bickering reminds you of old times with such bittersweet nostalgia that each pump of your heart physically aches. Deep down, shoved in some cobwebbed corner of grey-matter denial, you missed this. Missed Vi in all her stubborn, impulsive, heart-on-sleeve glory.

“I don't even know who I am anymore,” she says, voice a secretive mutter, resigned and exhausted. So many confessions woven into eight simple words.

You sit up from the floor, back cracking in protest, and plop down beside the couch. Face-to-face with Vi, her features slowly sharpening into view. She looks away, showcasing the slope of her profile—the dark smudge of her lashes, the small bump on her nose, the pout of her lower lip. There's a bruise taking shape just beneath her jawline, a mottled purple-black that you trace with your eyes.

“Where'd you get these bruises from?” you ask, thumb a perfect fit inside its irregular edges.

She jolts at the contact, but doesn't pull away. Says, “The Pit.”

All the air rushes from your lungs in a single, drawn-out breath. You can't believe it, even though you should. She gravitates toward violence, a penchant that began after the death of her parents. Street fights are one thing, but The Pit? That's…

“Janna's tits, Violet. You got a death wish?”

“I guess you could call it that.” Her shadowed form shrugs. “Doesn't matter anyway. I need the money, and fighting is the only thing I'm good for.”

You click your tongue, offended on her behalf. “Says who?”

“Me.”

Your heart sinks. Is that really how she sees herself? Good for nothing but violence?

“Vi—”

“Can I borrow your shower before I leave?”

The sharp shift in topic sends you reeling, and you barely manage to scoot away from the couch before she throws her legs over the side, feet planted right where you just sat.

“Uh, yeah. I should have some clothes that fit you, if you need.”

“That would be great, actually.”

You fail to mention, for reasons unbeknownst to you, that the clothes you hand her a few minutes later belonged to an ex-girlfriend from a year or two back. Drawing a similar conclusion takes no effort, though, and Vi inspects the underwear with a puppydog tilt to her head.

“Girlfriend?”

“Ex.“

She scoffs, balling the clothes up beneath her arm. “Been there, done that.”

Then she stands there for a long few moments, gaze glued to the sheets of your bed, lips twisted into a sour frown. And then, as if nothing happened, she blinks out of her trance, head snapping toward you.

“Come with me,” she says, nodding to the open bathroom door and the orange glow spilling from within.

“What, like… shower with you?”

Another shrug. “I could use the company.”

Following her into the bathroom is easy. Easier than it should be, given the long passage of time, but you're no stranger to one-night stands. Picking a pretty woman up from a bar, bringing her home, cooking breakfast the next morning to cancel out the hangover before never seeing her again.

This is different, though. Special. An opportunity that you should really take a second to mull over, but you're already watching her undress with the door closed, and the sight of her naked back smashes your self-control to bits. Intricate lines of dark ink paint her skin shoulder-to-shoulder, trailing down the back of each arm, following the soft curves of her muscles. Beautiful work—whether because of the canvas or in spite of it, you aren't sure.

“I like your tattoos,” you say, embarrassingly breathless.

She spins around fast as a whip, barely giving you time to register the glint of metal peeking from either side of her nipples before you're gawking at the huge shoe-sized bruise curling over her ribs.

“You can't shower with your clothes on,” she says, a playful quirk to her lips that sends you into action.

She's given you tunnel vision in the worst way. At the sight of the barbell pierced through each nipple, and the stretchmarks that fan over her hips and thighs, and the sinew of her biceps, you forget to bitch at her about the physical shape she's in. Injuries that don't seem to slow her down at all.

You've never stripped so fast in your life, trapped beneath her low-lidded gaze. To be fair, it's been a while. You entered a dry spell after your most recent breakup and never really recovered, and now there's a beautiful woman standing in front of you. Naked. Staring at you like she wants to eats you up then lick her fingers clean.

“Nice.”

You can’t help but laugh at her reaction, suppressing the urge to hide yourself. You feel flayed open, desperate, hot beneath the skin. No better time to step around her and turn the shower on.

As you wait for the water to heat up, a spare toothbrush set aside for her to use, the air in the room sizzles with electricity. Tension. You can't take your eyes off each other in the mirror, even as you spit toothpaste in the sink. When you crawled into bed last night, you never could have imagined that this is where you’d end up, but you aren’t about to complain. She's beautiful, and she actually wants you. What more do you need?

When Vi steps beneath the shower spray, grey-dyed droplets sluice down her face and back to pool an opaque puddle at her feet. She sweeps strings of wet hair off her forehead, lashes brushing against her cheeks. Her closed eyes give you the opportunity to openly stare, stomach taut with lines of muscle, a nest of dark pink fur at the apex of her thighs. Tattoos, heavy tits, thick, toned legs.

Janna's mercy, what a woman.

Once she's scrubbed herself down and washed half the dye from her hair (while you freeze to death in the corner), it doesn't take long for her to step into your space, hands both calloused and warm curling around your waist. You audibly swallow, trapped in the sea of her eyes and the cute freckles peppered across her nose and cheeks. Your gaze drifts down to her lips, entranced by the scar that bisects pink flesh.

With a shuddering sigh, you whisper, “I missed you.”

And then she kisses you, hands moving to cup your face as you press against the steadfast line of her body. This isn't about love, or intimacy, or anything other than brain-stem urges—and from the way she kisses you, all rough and wanting, she's needed this for a while, too.

Her teeth sink into the pulse of your neck, breath a wet heat over your chest that strikes a shiver up your spine. “I didn't want to leave you.”

“I know.”

“It wasn't by choice.”

“It's okay. You're here now.”

She pulls away from your neck with an audible pop, nodding her head, eyes glittering like the out-of-reach stars. A contradiction of hope and melancholy written in the wrinkle of her brow.

“I need this.”

With a tender smile, you smooth the hair away from her face. “You have me, Skipper.”

Vi groans, nose scrunching (a lot cuter than it has any right to be). “Way to ruin the moment.”

You had no choice, really. Things were getting a bit too intimate for comfort, given the fact that she already planned on leaving. No sense in digging up old feelings that you'd have to bury again a few hours from now.

“What? It's a cute nickname.”

“No, it's embarrassing.” Still, she latches onto you, even as she physically recoils from discomfort. Runs her thumbs over the soft skin of your waist, over and over and over again.

“I can make it up to you,” you purr, fingertips trailing down the soft grooves of her stomach, toward the fluff of pink hair on her mound.

Her eyes widen a fraction, crystalline in their make-up—the kind of blue you've only seen in your dreams. Gone is the playful tenderness of moments previous, nothing left but a raging fire of heat. Desperation.

She kisses you hard on the mouth, forces you back against the cold shower wall with a muted thump. Your lips part on a groan, and her tongue slips between your teeth. She tastes like the mint of toothpaste and the bitter afterglow of alcohol, chest a purring vibration against your own.

You tilt your head back with a gasp, far enough away to speak.

“I have—” canine teeth sharp against the pulse of your neck, “a bed—” a thick arm curling around your back, “that we can use.”

“Not a fan of shower sex?” she asks, mouthing over the curve of your shoulder.

“Shit, who is?”

Her breath fans hot over your skin as she laughs. “Good point.”

You're a flurried tangle of limbs from the shower to the next-room mattress. The bedroom is small, barely wide enough to fit a dresser and a twin-sized bed and a desk. The rent in this part of the Undercity remains dirt cheap, but you sacrifice certain luxuries as a result.

At least you have a headboard. The very same that knocks against the wall when you shove her back onto the bed, springs creaking in protest. You stand between her spread thighs, hypnotized by the splay of her wet hair (and the black dye seeping into your sheets), her body painting the perfect, Vi-sized outline from the water neither of you bothered to dry off.

“I had the fattest crush on you when we were kids.”

You aren't sure why you say it. Too consumed by the dark freckle beside her belly button to filter your thoughts, but that one in particular? A fantastic way to ruin the mood. The era of your friendship might constitute the worst years of her life.

She exhales a laugh. “I liked you, too,” said all quiet and tender, and you lock your knees to keep from pouncing on her.

No, you have to take this slow, to savor everything that comes next.

You lower to your knees, the floor rock-solid and freezing, and scoot into her space when she spreads her legs for you, your fingers splayed over her thighs.

“You don't have to…” her sentence trails off, palm calloused and warm over your knuckles.

“I want to, though.” Tufts of coarse pink hair frame the puffy flesh of her clit, swollen and blush-red. As beautiful as the rest of her. Your mouth waters at the thought of her taste. “As long as you want me to.”

“Fuck, I—” her head collapses back against the bed, hips tilting up toward your face, “please.”

How could you ever say no to that?

You start by ghosting wet kisses over the sensitive skin inside her knee, soft pecks that trail up to the crook between thigh and pelvis, the downy hairs on her leg tickling your nose. So warm and soft against your mouth, muscles tightening in anticipation.

Just when she reaches for you with a trembling sigh, you switch to the other side, lips twitching into a smile at her frustrated groan. Can't spend too long away from her pretty cunt, though. You spread her puffy labia to find her already wet, clenching and empty.

“So pretty,” you coo, thumb circling over her hole, mouth puckering around her clit in a tender kiss.

Her thighs close on either side of your head, effectively muffling your hearing. She says something that you can’t make out, and you suckle on that little bundle of nerves until she’s grinding into your face, hard enough to bloody your nose. But it excites you—the enthusiasm in her reaction, the salt-musk taste of her cunt, the slick that smears over your cheeks and chin. A hand finds the back of your head, the other curling over your fingers that squeeze the fat of her thigh.

You slide two free fingers into her, groaning at the tight, wet heat—a burning sun—that engulfs them. Soft as silk, perfect juxtaposition to the wiry hairs that tickle your knuckles. Every part of her is perfect. Breathtaking in that rare, once-in-a-lifetime way.

She spreads her legs, feet flat on the bed, and arches up into your mouth. A shudder flows through her like spitting water, muscles tensing beneath your hand each time your fingers bottom out, noisy and slick. You're in ecstasy, floating somewhere thoughtless and warm and wonderful. The needy pulse between your legs means little when you have her taste on your tongue and her cunt milking your fingers.

She comes with a broken gasp, back arching off the bed, pretty tits bouncing as she paws at your hand and head, grip so tight you fear her breaking a bone. For a moment, you struggle to breathe, nose buried in the curls on her mound, lips suckling quick and rhythmic on her clit.

Fuck, you like being used for her pleasure.

When the afterglow fades, neither of you talk about what just happened. You fetch a wet washcloth to wipe her up then clean your hands and face in the bathroom sink. Nothing needs to be said when you both got what you wanted. Satiation blankets the room in a dense fog of fatigue, and you curl into each other beneath the sheets, naked bodies pressed together. She's warm, and soft, and smells like you.

(Distantly, like an itch at the back your brain, you think you could get used to this.)

The next morning, you wake to a cold, empty apartment. You go back to bed.

You're used to being alone.

—

A week later, the budding loneliness leads you to a nearby club. Your neighborhood likens to a ghost town of shadowed streets and poverty. Apartment buildings stalwart despite the foundational rot, landlords that deal in theft, broken windows on first floors—the stink of melancholy permeates this place.

Apex Eleven burns bright with life, with sex and shimmer and the sweat of drunken bodies. In a nearby corner, a woman stands bent over, hands pressed to the wall, a man rutting against her. Shameless beneath the neon lights. The sight does nothing for you, and you quickly search for something else to occupy your curiosity. You press into the crowd, through a fog of smoke and grinding couples, the floor beneath your shoes sticky from spilled alcohol. Your destination is the bar, and beyond that, the bed of a pretty woman. Anything to wash the taste of Vi from your mouth.

But Janna's grace is a fickle thing, and the sight of Vi sat at the bar leaves you begging for mercy. While you had a great time, and, sure, your stomach flips at the sight of her again, the problem with her presence lies in your own tangle of hang-ups—one such issue being insecurity. Better to leave your relationships as one-night stands and acquaintances than to cope with the inevitable. At an early age, you learned that losing people hurts. The Undercity only nurtured that pain over the years, proved to you that attachments just aren’t worth it.

She's talking with a pretty woman stood to her right, elbow balanced atop the table, head cradled in her hand. A pile of glasses surround her, stacked haphazardly in groups of twos and threes. It shouldn’t matter. You had your night, and you’ve gone your separate ways. What she does or who she talks to is none of your business, loaded-gun history or otherwise.

So you choose a spot a few chairs down from her left, shielded by two rowdy men seated between you. All you need is a drink or five, the kind that burns something awful on the way down. Maybe a pretty girl to dance with, if you're really lucky.

To that wish, Janna laughs in your face. She whisks Vi over with an invisible tug to her shirt and deposits the woman of your long-held fantasies right beside you.

“Need a drink?” Vi asks, waving the bartender over with a suspiciously sober call of his name.

With all the empty glasses that surrounded her, there’s no conceivable way she could even form words, let alone stroll over to your seat as if she’s conquered the world. Maybe she has. This is Vi, after all.

“What's the occasion?”

She rests her forearms on the bar, raising two fingers at the bartender. “Beat the champion tonight. I thought I should celebrate.”

“By buying drinks for pretty girls?”

A tired shrug. “That's the idea.”

Her head swivels to face you before her eyes do, and during that split-second blip of time, woven in the subtle knot of her brow, you see it. Pain. Regret, maybe. You're unsure of the source, but it cloaks her like a second skin.

The man slides two drinks across the counter with a nod of his head, and before you can thank him, Vi gulps down the liquid inside her glass. Sucks a breath through grit teeth and shakes the shock from her brain.

Once again, you witness the slip of her bravado. All bite; canine teeth and bruised knuckles. A dog attacking out of fear.

But why?

“Dance with me.” Her clammy hand wraps around your fingers, tugging you toward the packed crowd on the dance floor.

She glances back at you with a teasing grin, beautiful beneath the neon lights as bass-filled music thrums and vibrates your ribs. You find a good spot nearby, but the dancers surrounding you push your bodies together. Chest-to-chest, she leans forward, hands steady on your waist.

“You look nice,” she says, lips pressed to your ear.

Already, a hunger gnaws deep in the pit of your belly. Despite the heat, her leather jacket remains cool beneath your fingers as you tug her closer. Then you kiss her. Bottom lip split at the center, vodka and metal on your tongue, and you collapse against her. Weak, eager, running on impulse.

You never get the chance to actually dance. What starts out as kissing eventually escalates to her groping your ass right there on the floor, which escalates to you tugging her toward the bathroom with its dingy lighting and graffiti-covered walls. She chooses a stall furthest away from the door and shoves you back against the flimsy wall. The lock clicks with a solid thud. She drops to her knees.

“I never got to pay you back for last week,” she says, yanking your pants then underwear down.

You step out of one leg, then hook your knee over her shoulder.

Vi makes you stupid. You know this, you understand this, and yet you're weak to fight her gravitational pull. Really, you don’t even want to. You can’t even blame your impulsivity on the alcohol. Barely have a buzz.

All the second-guessing fizzles out as soon as her lips meet your cunt. She eats you out like it's all she's been thinking about. Messy and reverent. Loud with her muffled moans, gaze low-lidded and cloudy each time she pulls back to look at you all spread out for her.

It's the hottest thing you've ever seen, and despite her sloppy technique, you can't bring yourself to care when she looks up at you with crystalline eyes. Your fingers comb through her hair, the strands soft, hairline slick with sweat.

She circles your clit with her tongue and the leg holding you upright almost collapses. The back of your head smacks against the wall as the muscles of your abdomen clench. Her hands rise to cup your tits through your shirt, lips wrapping around your swollen clit. When she starts to hum, the vibration settles deep in your bones and turns your insides to putty.

You come with a bitten-off groan, breath catching in your throat, chest curling toward the top of her head. If not for her steadfast grip around your waist, your ass would hit the floor from how hard and fast the pleasure slams into you. For a long few moments, you're swept away, floating somewhere thoughtless and euphoric.

When you come back to your body, she kisses you. Soft and lazy. Tender. Splays her hands over your back and holds you like you're something precious. Like you're worthy enough to keep. Her tongue sweeps slow over your own and your arms curl around her neck, trapping her in place.

You’ve never been kissed like this, held like this before. Sharing intimacy likens to scratching an instinctual itch. You fuck for pleasure, you kiss for pleasure, you cuddle to burn the chill from your skin.

But this? This means something. The closest thing to love you'll most likely ever get. Might as well savor it while you can.

You bring her back to your apartment. Follow the same routine as last time (though a lot easier without her drunken stumbling): sharing a shower, eating her out, cleaning the both of you up afterward. You fetch a snack from the kitchen to share in bed, and your concern for her well-being only grows when she inhales her portion. Like she hasn't eaten in days.

“You can stay here whenever you want, ya know.” Said after another snack, both of you tucked in beneath the sheets.

Her fingers stop their back-and-forth stroking of your arm. “Yeah. I know.”

“It's just me here, so…”

“I appreciate it, but I'm okay.”

You try to brush off the declined invitation, but it stings regardless. An emotion that pings around inside your ribs, that you swallow down with a smile.

“Okay.”

—

There's blood on your bathroom floor and an injured Vi curled up naked in the tub. A bar fight, she said when she showed up at your door, teeth chattering from leftover adrenaline.

You don't get it. What she keeps fighting against. Why the blood doesn't matter to her.

The pool of water in the sink turned red a while ago as her clothes sit in some homemade mixture taught by your mom to help remove stains. You pick glass out of her scalp with a pair of shitty tweezers that don't even close all the way, cooped up in the pathetically small bathroom by a spread of every first-aid item found inside the apartment.

She makes you angry, makes you wanna cry sometimes when you think too hard about her pain.

“Why'd you do it?” you ask, voice whispered and wavering.

She hasn't looked at you since you opened the front door.

“It doesn't matter.”

“It does to me.”

She offers up one of her signature shrugs in explanation, and you want to scream. “It's funny. The whole time, I thought I was doing what's right, and it still cost me everything.”

You don't understand what she means, but you don't think she's in the mood for explanations. So you dab the blood from her hair and listen.

“At least I have you, right?”

Your heart tenders like a fresh bruise at the rasp in her voice and the empty look in her eyes. You want to pull her to your chest and say tell me all your troubles so I can help carry them.

You're in too deep. She gazes at you like you’re the only person left in the world, and you’re in too deep. Her blood is on your hands, beneath your fingernails, staining your floor. You'll never wash her out of this place.

“Always, Skipper.”

You're fucked. You're fucked.

“I can't protect you. Can't protect anybody anymore.”

“That's not your job. Besides, I have a gun for a reason.” You pause, washcloth pressed to where the blood still seeps. “Don't tell anybody I said that.”

Her first laugh of the night exhales soft out of her mouth. A lovely sound given her current condition. You could listen to it every day for the rest of your life.

“Do you think I could stay here a few days? At least until I heal up a bit.”

“Stay as long as you need, Vi. To be honest, I’d appreciate the company.”

“My company, or—”

“Specifically yours.”

She remains quiet for a moment, lips twitching at the corners, before she mutters, “Huh. Good to know.”

After you patch her up then help her to bed, she passes out. Stretched across the mattress, halfway under the sheets, drooling a wet spot in the pillow. You decide to leave her be and resign yourself to a night on the couch.

The rest of the week is eventless. You both talk a lot, mostly about your shared childhood and what happened in the years you were separated. Having someone to warm your bed, to fill the empty space of your lonely apartment is… nice. Once again, you find yourself slipping into the unnatural realm of domestication. The routine of waking up next to her, then fixing breakfast, then going to work, then coming home to her sprawled out on the couch.

Toward the end of the week, she finally tells you about her ex. The betrayal, losing Powder (Jinx), losing everything she had left in one fell swoop. You get it now—the drinking, the violence, the Pit, all her pain. Would no doubt do the same if you experienced even half the suffering she's been through.

The conversation happens when your dreams start bleeding through to your consciousness, in that odd state of pseudo-sleep brought on by exhaustion. A good time to bear her heart, when her words filter through the cotton of your ears. Still, you catch all of them.

When you wake the next morning to find all proof of her gone from your apartment, you aren't even surprised. She isn't ready to face the things chasing her, and you can't fix this on your own (no matter how badly you wish you could).

But you can go to the club and find solace in a pretty woman's bed.

—

You don't see her again until the battle against Noxus. Stood beside the infamous Commander Kiramman, speaking in intimate whispers, familiar in a way that settles betrayal in the pit of your stomach—maybe a bit more jealousy than you'd like to admit.

All the breath drains from your lungs when the woman circles a hand around her arm and the realization hits you. She's the ex Vi talked about, and despite the very important details Vi chose to leave out, there’s no mistaking blue eyes and deep blue hair and tall and thin and pretty.

(You were doomed from the fucking start. How could you ever compete with a piltie? One of the richest, most influential of them all?)

Vi gazes out at the crowd with thick arms crossed over her chest, and you hope she skips over your unremarkable form in a sea of unremarkable people. The time you spent together meant nothing—less than nothing. It's your own fault for betraying all you learned over the years. The only person you can blame is yourself.

Her gaze meets yours, and your heart skitters to a stop. Those pretty eyes widen. Time stills. Anger burns a hole through your chest. You shake your head at her when she takes a step forward, and spin on your heel to flee into the crowd.

Until you hear the familiar call of your name.

#arcane x reader #arcane x you #vi x reader #vi x you #vi smut #vi angst #my fics #fic: poison and panacea #ns/ft

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bernardsbendystraws · 8 months ago

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𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐥𝐥 — 𝐌.𝐒.

synopsis: Matt loves his pretty doll.

warnings: SMUT , praise kink, lingeries, and more.

ʚ with love and big tits, Rose ɞ

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Looking into the mirror, I smooth over the delicate lace hugging my skin. I felt so pretty. The woman staring back at me seemed foreign, some type of angel with a new found confidence.

Matt was supposed to be home any minute. He had done a quick run out to go help Nick pick up something from the warehouse.

To say my sweet boyfriend was pissed off at that was an understatement. Some type of concert had made getting an Uber impossible for Nick. Matt was his only option.

He had left angrily as I started to clean up dinner. We had made a pasta dish we both enjoyed, cooking together and playing music as we swayed in the kitchen. Although that could be classified as any other regular day for a couple, it wasn’t for us. Neither of us enjoyed going out in public. We both got overwhelmed by surroundings and we just wanted to be able to appreciate each other fully.

I was now glad he had to leave for a brief trip. In fact, I was grinning ear to ear as I adjusted the mesh fabric on my hips. My skin peeking through the lace seems to have a certain type of softness in the way it looks. The lingerie set had been bought a week ago when I was out shopping, but I hadn’t built up the courage to wear it yet. Not until now.

Placing my silk bathrobe on, I tie the front as I walk to the living room of our shared apartment. The couch sinks with my weight as I pull the robe to cover my legs.

Time moves slowly as I watch Matt’s location move through my phone screen. I see his car stop at Nick’s place, moving toward our apartment.

It took approximately four minutes from the two destinations. After all, it was basically a daily occurrence to visit his brothers.

The only thing to do is wait.

Rolling my lips on my teeth, I feel the muscle plump up. My heart lurches in my throat as the door jiggles, unlocking.

Matt is looking towards the ground as he slides off his shoes and shuts the door. He lets out a brief sigh as his eyes wander upward, squinting with a smile as he looks straight at me.

“Hi, baby. Sorry, I tried to be as quick as possible.” he says, leaning a kiss on the top of my head. His hands wander down, rubbing his palms over my silk covered shoulders. “Are you tired? Do you not wanna watch the movie anymore?” he questions.

“No, I…I just wanted to change. That’s all.” I rush out, biting into my cheek as I try to keep my eyes calm.

Matt cocks his head to the side with confusion. His hand runs up and rubs along my jawline. Bringing his face down to mine, he plants a soft kiss onto my lips. “M’kay. I’ll go change into my sweats and we can just cuddle up, okay? Be right back.” he says, pushing his lips onto mine once more before walking around to the bedroom.

My leg starts to shake anxiously while I wait for him. I hear the shuffle of his movements, each time I suspect his feet to be pattering back into the living room, my throat starts to overflow with saliva.

What if he doesn’t like it?

What if it’s too much?

What if it’s not enough?

Sex was incredible with Matt. He always made sure the intimacy started before the bedroom and sex was never just expected. Sometimes it was slow morning sex, other times it was a way to reconnect after a long day. It was never anything crazy. He treated me with the utmost respect, making sure I felt incredible and relaxed.

“Hey, sweetheart, do you want me to rub your back? I know you said it was hurtin’ earlier.”

My eyes snap out of the trained daze on the blank TV, looking over to see him sitting beside me on the couch, turning my shoulder to gain better access as he starts to massage the tissue.

“Is this good? You want me to move your robe a bit?”

His fingers dance under the fabric. My eyes go wide as I push his hand off, pulling the silk back in place.

“No, no, no, it’s…it’s fine…really,” I quiver the words out with rushing anxiety. My posture straightens as I feel Matt hug my arms, pulling me against his chest.

His lips press soft kisses on my beating pulse. I can practically hear the drum in my ears as my chest aches from holding my breath. “What’s up? Are you okay?” he whispers. His breath hitting against my neck makes the hairs along the skin stick up straight, a static warmth burying in the pit of my gut with anxiety and anticipation.

“I—-uh, yeah. It’s just, you don’t have to do all that,” I squint my eyes shut at the poor excuse of a lie.

Matt sways me side to side in his arms before trailing his hands back up to my shoulders. “Sweetheart, I love takin’ care of you. Just, let me help you relax. Here,”

His fingers brush the silk down with ease. My bare shoulder shivers from the cold air, soothed as his fingers run along the skin. The lace strap shields part of his body heat as he traces over the fabric delicately. I feel his hand gather my hair, moving it to reveal the clear scene.

“Fuck…”

I fight the urge to push him away as his breath swarms onto my skin. The tip of his nose dances along the side of my neck, stopping at the edge of my shoulder.

“Is this for me, baby?” he asks. My body leans further against him as his palm presses me closer to his chest. The motion leaves the silk sleeve dropping further, exposing the brim of the unlined lace bra.

“Sweetheart, this…” my heart drops as he trails off. His palm pressed against my stomach pulls gently on the tie of the robe. The silk covering falls with gravity, gathering in a puddle around me on the couch. “---this is all for me? God, so pretty, baby. So so so gorgeous…”

The calloused fingers tread teasingly light up my torso. He wraps his fingers just below the lace trimming, soothing his hands over my rib cage. Soft, gentle movements leave me letting out a breath, sinking my body further to his. His sweet lips gently kiss down my neck and back up.

“I…mhm…”

I confirm his statement with an embarrassing hum elongated as I lose myself in the sensations he gives. The underside of my breast is teasingly being grazed by his fingers as his other hand rubs up and down the top of my arm. Gentle pecks turn warmer. His tongue prods through his lips, leaving a trail of saliva as my skin begins to ache.

“Can you sit on my lap, sweetheart?” Nodding mindless, I let him help me sit on his thighs. He adjusts me to have both of my legs swinging on one side, his arm wrapping around my back for support and his hand grasping on tightly to my thigh. “Just like that, god…” his eyes flicker towards mine briefly as I feel his thumb swivel on my thigh. The fall to my near-naked figure, plundering in the sight as he licks over his lips with hungry eyes.

His other hand trails between my thighs, grabbing tightly at the upper half. My gut clenches as his fingers massage gently. I can feel the heat radiating downward to my core. His lips meet my collarbone, utilizing more exposed skin as he kisses along the tops of my breasts.

“Mmmmm,” he hums in content, getting sloppier with each movement. His tongue is drooling as he practically swallows my skin. The hand on my inner thigh trails higher, a vibrating pulse electrocuting through me as he fingers graze the thin lace fabric covering me.

“God,” he pants against my neck, “I can feel how wet you are, baby. Is that all for me too?” he taunts.

I nod my head, letting it push hard against his shoulder as he starts to rub me through the delicate lace. The minimal shield it has from his touch leaves me breathless. He rubs his fingers lightly. The wet warmth is running viciously through my folds as he continues that torturing antics.

“Yeah—’s all…all for you,” I whisper between breaths.

Matt hums along my neck, his nose tickling me as he moves right beneath my ear. “Good. Can I touch you more, princess? Are you gonna let me play with that pretty pussy, hm?” he asks. I nod vigorously as the tip of his fingers pull the fabric between my legs upward. “--’m gonna keep this pretty little outfit on, you just…” he sighs against my shoulder. “---just looks so perfect for me.”

The thin fabric covering my pussy is pulled to the side as he glides his fingers gently down my folds. My clit burns achingly from his touch. Leaning further back into him, my neck is craned over his shoulder as I see him from my peripheral. He stares down at me with a soft daze. I moan loudly as I feel his fingers prod teasingly at my entrance before trailing back up and circling my sensitive bud.

My face contorts into a furrowed expression from the building heat gathering in my gut. The light touches become passionate, sloppy movements aided by a slick running out of me as I feel his breath fan onto my cheek.

“Does that feel good, sweetheart? You want more?” he purrs.

“I…please,” I strain out.

“Don’t worry.” His fingers speed through with movements, three of his fingers flattening as he creates a gentle friction on my hooded clit. A broken rasp leaves my lips as my eyes go wide. His fingers circle, hitting a delicate pulse of nerves with each swivel of his hand. My stomach burns as I arch against him. “I love takin’ care of my girl, remember? Fuck….look so pretty for me like this—my cute lil doll, huh?” he coos.

“Oh–”

The broken moan feverishly echoes in the air as his movements speed up. Although little fabric is covering my skin, it all feels too hot—too warm. Parted lips as enveloped by his warm mouth as he kisses me with passion. My noises vibrate in our mouths as his tongue sloppily licks inside of my mouth.

“C’mon, baby. You’re suckin’ my finger so hard. Be a good girl and cum for me, yeah?”

Strains of desperate pleas are silenced by his lips sucking over mine. The warm, wet muscle of his tongue takes advantage of my agape mouth, pushing deeper as he explores every nook and cranny possessively.

My teeth clench into his lip as I shake in his grip. Leg muscles tense and ache as a fever washes over my body with a burning contortion of heated relief. Matt groans as his lips are pulled by me, his fingers soothing to a gentle stop slowly as I ride down the high.

“Fuck, princess, that’s it….let it all out for me,” he reminds.

The wave of euphoria settles to a pit of exhaustion as I let my body roll limp in his arms. His fingers tug the fabric to cover my pussy, patting and rubbing gently over the fabric as I squirm.

“God—you look so fuckin’ sexy like this, cumming for me,” he kisses on my cheek, pulling me into him to cradle me. I lay limply, letting my limbs fall languid in his embrace.

“I,” I let out a tired laugh with half-hooded eyes. “--I was so nervous you wouldn’t like it.”

“Like it?” he questions, astonished as he rocks my body side to side in his arms.

“I fuckin’ love it.”

#sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #⋅˚₊‧𐙚‧₊˚ ⋅ Rose Toy Old Works

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julieloves074 · 3 months ago

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‘A little bit… or a lot’ (Min Ho x Reader)

Summary: K.I.S.S resident Marco will not leave Y/n alone so the night at the club Min Ho comes to her rescue and they set themselves up in fake relationship to make sure the guy gets a hint, but will their friendship survive the blurred lines?

Warnings: kissing, divorce

Word count: 8.7K

(Noy my GIF :))

“Not again,” I say out loud subconsciously, Kitty and I are once again in the boys flat just studying with Q, and I lay my phone face down frustrated.

Q and Kitty turn towards me immediately, annoyance showing in their eyes, but not at me “What did he say this time?” Q asks.

I just pass him my phone; Kitty gets up from lying on her stomach and looks over his shoulder, her face twists and turns as she reads the message.

“I mean it could kind of be kinda… romantic- no?”

“What can be seen as romantic?” Min Ho says walking in through the dorm door and taking off his shoes, looking between the three of us.

I let out a loud sigh and twist to lie on my back laying a pillow over my face, “It’s Marco he keeps message me,” I hug the pillow to my chest.

Q laughs, “He’s pestering her and very clearly not getting a hint,” he says pointing the phone in Min Ho’s direction, he pulls a disgusted face as he reads the message.

“They say you are what you attract,” Min Ho says with a level of sass and walks into his room closing the door behind him.

“No one has ever said that” Kitty exclaimed in a whisper and the three of us burst into a fit of laughter.

Q passed the phone back to me and I immediately threw it to the other side of the sofa, “That guy seriously needs to chill,” Q says turning back to the textbook and question sheet.

“Honestly I’m so tired of it, I’m scared he’s gonna try something in person,” I said, both my friends shoot my empathetic looks, trying to be supportive, but it doesn’t look like Marco is going to leave me alone any time soon.

Kitty started to gather up all her resources, “Okay time to stop this,” she says getting up and putting the stuff in her bag. I try to argue with her that we’ve only done half the homework questions, but she ignores me and keeps packing.

“Look I need time to get ready for this date with Praveena, I really think things could work out between us, so I want to put the effort in,” she explains, Q and I look at each other and identical smiles spread across our faces, “Plus I’m still yet to match make you and I think it’s time you find someone for you, and it might help Marco move on,” I give her the can we not talk about this right now look but then Q agrees.

He stands up to leans against the sofa arm and looks down at me, “We’re gonna have so much fun, come on smileee,” he says reaching out an arm and pulling me up.

We agree to finish the work tomorrow and to meet in two hours to head out to the club. A new DJ was playing and most everyone in the friendship group wanted to go.

When we arrive the atmosphere is perfect, the music is energetic but cool, the lights and decorations are the exact level of out there and complimentary, and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. Kitty is quickly stolen away by Praveena and taken to the dance floor.

Dae, Q and I make our way to get mocktails before also heading to the dance floor, I watch Q looking around as if he were shopping for guys, which to be fair was exactly his plan for the night- a little distraction from the stress of tomorrow’s race and I was not going to stop him. Dae on the other hand looked stiff and uncomfortable but trying to move around doing something that kind of resembled dance moves.

“Oh my god,” Q says suddenly, and I follow his eyeline only to be met with the one and only, enemy on and off the track: Jin. Q looks… frankly offended at the sight and excuses himself.

When I turn back around to Dae he’s disappeared too, I look around but I can’t see him so go back to the bar to get another mocktail, then I finally find him talking to a group of girls at the back of the club and then I find Q making out with Jin so I went back for another drink and sat at the bar just people watching, all my friends were spread around.

That’s when I heard his voice. “Y/n!” Marco said sitting down next to me, I closed my eyes for a second. Great – now him. I couldn’t have my sad song music video moment, and I had to talk to him.

“Marco,” I say and it accidentally comes out a little too high pitched.

“What is such a pretty girl doing sat at the bar by herself?” he asks shuffling his seat closer and ordering a drink, being a good friend, I wanted to tell him, by not cockblocking any of my friends but I just don’t answer.

I finish the last of my drink and turn around to put it on the counter, in turn he places his hand on the counter almost touching my arm and leans closer to me, “Did you wanna get out of here? We could go grab some food or something,” he asked and I cringed internally.

Opening my mouth to answer he interrupts me, “Come on Y/n, we can go to that barbeque palace you love,”.

I grab my bag and stand as I say, “Marco I don’t-”

“There you are babe,” someone says from behind me, I feel an arm being strung against my shoulder, I turn to see Min Ho just as he presses a kiss to my forehead. He sees the confusion, and maybe a little fear in my eyes and nods subtly to Marco.

“Yep, just been waiting for you,” I reach my arm around his middle, he pulls me closer to him.

“Bye Marco,” Min Ho says simply and turns us away from the brunette walking in the direction of the exit.

What the hell just happened.

“What the hell just happened?” I said out loud this time as the outside breeze soothed me.

Min Ho just sighed taking his arm away, “I just saved your ass, you’re welcome by the way,” he explains.

“Thank you,” I say still in the state of shock.

“He really must not talk to many girls,” he continues, “you looked, repulsed, to say the least,” then one of his brows raised, “I can’t tell who I feel worse for, you, or that poor, helpless guy,”.

I shove my shoulder into his slightly, he swayed to one side by a step, a smile playing on his lips, I shook my head in response.

“What were you doing at the club anyway? I thought you said,” and then I turned on my best Mino Ho accent impression, “The sweat and heat of those places is terrible for my skin,”. The cool January breeze was rustling against my skin, and it was a pleasant contrast to the club which was starting to feel claustrophobic.

“I wanted to hear the DJ live, I’m considering hiring her for my next party,” he says placing his hands into his pockets, I wrapped mine around my jumper.

“So how long has this guy- what’s his name Mark- been bothering you?” Min Ho asked as we walk out towards the dorm buildings.

“Marco,” I say- he knew his name just chose to be petty, then I ran my hand through my hair but didn’t look at him when I answer, “Honestly pretty much since beginning of last semester but the messaging started getting more frequent over the break,”.

“Why haven’t you told anyone about it earlier?” he asked as if I was being an inconvenience to him, I explain to him that it’s never been anything big, he wasn’t being rude or demanding he just didn’t seem to understand that I wasn’t interested and the more I was pushing the more he was latching on.

“No every man can be as good as me, clearly,”

“Clearly,” I join in on his banter, “but seriously, thank you for saving me, I know how much how that must have killed you inside, to have to align yourself with me in such a way,” I said exaggerating, of course he didn’t actually feel this way, we are friends, but it was an inside joke in the friend group that Min Ho was just better than everyone.

Min Ho stopped in his track taking in a deep breath, “Fine, I’ll be your pretend boyfriend,”.

“What?- Min Ho I’m not asking you to-” the words fell out my mouth quickly.

He brushed me off immediately, “Until Marco leaves you alone. You should be thankful that I’m such a good person,” he starts walking again. I take a few quick paced steps to catch up to him.

“Min Ho you really don’t have to, I think he’s got it,” I argued but I agree with the words coming out of my mouth, if anything a one off like this was likely to propel Marco more, as if this were some kind of challenge for all I knew.

“You’re so ungrateful,”

“Ok fine,” I say defeated, “Thank you,” this time with more emotion.

“It was time to do some charity work anyway,” he said messing up my hair, my face scrunched up in reaction. The rest of the way home in his car was spent arguing about what the best snack for film night was, then what the best film is and soon enough we were back on K.I.S.S grounds.

Min Ho walked me to the door of the girl’s dorm, now that we were alone we discussed what this arrangement meant, and what we were going to tell our friends. The answer was nothing, we were gonna leave them in the dark, one of them was likely to blabber and this needed to seem real. We would act as a couple in front of others but mostly when Marco was around. Not going over the top but just enough to make him believe. When we got to the door we looked at each other.

“What do we tell them when they ask how this happened?”

“We say that you finally fell for my handsome look and irresistible charm,” he says running a hand through his hair, “I mean it was bound to happen, everyone does,”

“Okay Min Ho, whatever,” and then we quickly came up with our cover story.

“Night L/n”

“Goodnight Min Ho,”

Then he was walking in the direction of the boy’s dorm and I look at my phone that was buzzing mercilessly the last few minutes, a bunch of texts were shining brightly back at me.

Kitty: Where are you?

Kitty: Helloooo

Kitty: We want to leave soon

Q: Girl we’re worried answer the phone

Q: missed call (2)

Kitty: missed call (3)

Yuri: Y/n meet us by the front door

Kitty: Swear I’m going to expose all ur secrets if you don’t answer

Shoot.

I was so wrapped up in the Marco situation and then Min Ho that I didn’t even think to text any of them. Not wanting to call any of them right now I text Kitty a quick explanation, that I wasn’t feeling well and Min Ho took us home.

My reply was met with several other messages, but I just got inside our room, got changed and jumped into bed. Twenty minutes later the girls arrived in the dorm but I was pretending I was asleep, which I almost was, so a little white lie. They would’ve wanted to know what happened and I wasn’t quite ready to fake having a relationship in front of my friends.

<3 <3 <3

Over the next few days all was pretty normal, I didn’t see much of Min Ho outside of lessons, he was busy with avoiding his father and I was busy helping Kitty figure out who this Simon guy we are searching for is. Though on Thursday morning there was some flowers delivered to our door whilst we were having breakfast, I managed to get to the card before the girls thankfully and since then they wouldn’t stop prying.

That was until tonight, our weekly movie nights, I was feelings blessed with the fact that it was finally Friday, but I also didn’t know how to behave.

“I’m dreading whatever we’re gonna watch tonight,” Yuri says as we walk through the boy’s dorm building.

Kitty is flinging her popcorn bag, “I know I hate it when the boys pick, it’s always some kind of action film,” she says.

“They’re not always that bad,” Julianna says bringing Yuri’s hand, which she was holding, up to her lips to give it a kiss.

Even though I didn’t mind the action films or the thrillers it was when they put on horror films that I wanted to run and hide- I don’t judge what people like but it’s lowkey not for me.

“Oh guys remind me to ask Jin for that smoothie recipe before we leave tonight,” Yuri says as we arrive at the door. Kitty reaches for the handle and lets herself right in, we all take our shoes off and say hello to everyone. Giving the boys the benefit of the doubt they did prepare hot drinks and brought some blankets into the living area.

“Are you girls ready to dive into Infested?” Min Ho says coming out his and Dae’s room, the latter following behind him with a closed lipped smile.

“Nooo,” I drag out and look at Q begging him for some support, he just gives me one of those pitying smiles. That night on the way back from the club I told Min Ho that I refused to go watch the film in cinemas or at all.

Dae pats my shoulder as he walks past, “Sorry Y/n it was Min Ho’s turn to pick this time,” he said taking the drinks from the counter and passing them out to those who have already sat down.

Min Ho took a place on the edge of the sofa, I helped Q grab the bowls with snacks and lay them on the table as the others chatted, Jin was using the remote to turn on the film. I look towards Kitty to go join her and sit in front of the sofa when Min Ho catches my eye.

He nods his head ever so subtly, urging me to come sit next to him, I abide with some reluctance.

“L/n” he says lifting the blanket, I sit down with my legs curled up to my body, “I really do think you’re going to hate this movie,” his smile is sadistic, I go to elbow him and he flinches away.

“That’s my opinion,” I say sweetly.

After asking if everyone was ready Jin turned the movie on, and as expected it was creepy and eerie and my mouth was curled up in discomfort within the first 15 minutes. When everyone is deeply focused on the film I turn my head to Min Ho slightly.

“Also- flowers. Really?” I whispered shaking my head.

“Do you want this to be believable or not?” he said back still watching the screen, does he actually send flowers to the girls he was dating, just because?

“Who knew you were such a gentleman,” I teased and I just watched him roll his eyes before turning back to the screen, my distraction did not want to distract me from whatever the hell was happening on the screen.

About half an hour passed before jumpscare scared me so bad that I turned my head to the side covering my eyes and almost hit Min Ho who was sat very close to me. A low chuckle escaped him, then he was laying his arm around me, I felt myself stiffening, it was unexpected, but it only took a second for my body to relax.

After Kitty returned from the toilet later on during the movie she looked at me, her eyes widening as if I’d grown another head, her eyes scanned from me to Min Ho, back to me then to him in a questioning look. After I failed to satisfy her need for answer she sat back down and pulled her phone out, then I felt another two pairs of eyes on me, but I forced myself to keep my eyes on the screen. How long did we have of this film yet?

At some point Min Ho started to brush his fingers back and forth across the skin on arm, it was calming, and if it was anyone else, in any other circumstance I’d find it endearing, romantic.

When the movie was finished, I was half asleep on the sofa, my head on Min Ho’s chest, no one said anything about our position as they started getting up and cleaning, but they did look back once or twice to check if they were seeing things right.

I got up to help washing up, putting my jumper back on after unfurling from the warm blanket.

“So don’t worry guys we’ll be back with a super cheesy romance next week!” Kitty says clapping her hands together and then hugging Q goodbye. I laid the tea towel on counter ready to go get my shoes back on too.

One step into my journey I was stopped, everyone was still chatting and getting ready to leave, as a pair of arms wrapped around me.

“Bye babe,” came Min Ho’s voice, a little louder than usual, just to make sure everyone heard, and before I knew what was happening, he was turning me around slightly, his eyes going to my lips, then to my eyes, and he clearly did not read the panic in my eyes as he leaned down and kissed me briefly.

“Bye,” I said almost breathlessly, turning back to see all our friends trying to hide their shock.

The walk back to our dorm was very quiet, Yuri complained that no one reminded her to get the smoothie recipe from Jin and Kitty was listing rom coms, but what would usually be loud was rather quiet.

That was until we were all within the space of our dorm.

“What the hell was that?!” Yuri exclaimed

“Yeah, I think you have some explaining to do,” Kitty says fidgeting excitedly

I hang up my jacket before turning back to them, “Guys it’s not a big deal,”

“Not a big deal!” Kitty started, “Is this where you disappeared to last week after ditching us at the club

“Actually, you guys all ditched me…”

Julianna joined in “So not the point, but seriously you can’t say it’s not a big deal,”

“You and Min Ho have been butting heads all of last semester,” Yuri states.

“That’s irrelevant, what happened that night?” Kitty pestered excitedly.

I lifted myself to sit on the island counter, “He ended up coming to the club so he could listen to the DJ, he thought he might hire her for his next party, I bumped into him on my way outside, the hot air was giving me a headache and we just talked, and then came back and talked some more,” I pull my lips into a shy smile.

“Just talked?” Yuri says consciously.

“Okay talked and then, we kissed, it was an in the moment thing but then yeah, we’re just in this kind of middle ground where I don’t really know what’s going on,”

“Oh my God, so the flowers the other day were from him?” Yuri pieces it all together.

“I mean I have literally been telling you guys for moths,” Kitty says turning to the other two girl putting her hand out, palm upwards, “You both owe me,” she says. I shook my head and jumped down from the counter, Kitty had once said as a one off to me that maybe this line of annoyance with each other was more, but I just brushed her off, and now I feel bad tricking her, but it wouldn’t be for long.

<3 <3 <3

We all got stuck into the semester really fast the next few weeks, lessons were harder, and Kitty was actively doing opposite of what her intention was this semester with Praveena and Yuri, but at least we were making progress on her family situation. Min Ho and I were acting like a happy couple every time we all met up or Marco was around, which was decreasing the more times he saw Min Ho with his arm around me or whispering something judgy about someone else in my ear making me laugh.

This meant we started spending more time together and I was learning so much about him, one night when everyone else went out we cooked dinner, well more accurately he cooked dinner whilst I tried helping but he just sent me away to the other side of the kitchen island and I watched him sheepishly.

“Stop looking at me like that L/n” he said not even looking up from the vegetables he was chopping, and I felt a blush rise on my face.

There was also the first time I spent time in his room, we had been texting and I was complaining about homework for one of the classes and he told me to just come over and he would help me. We were doing homework sat on his bed listening to music, his back pressed against the wall, and I was laying on my stomach facing him as we worked out the answers.

The someone creaked open the door slightly, “I want to come in so stop making out!” Dae warned and Min Ho and I looked at each other as if that was the most disgusting thought. He was not a bad kisser, in fact the last few weeks I’ve found out quite the opposite, but I wasn’t about to boost his ego.

We all also ended up going to the Moon’s cabin for the holiday weekend, unfortunately his dad didn’t come up, Min Ho said that there was something more important with his favourite son. He played it off cooly, but I could see the hurt in his eyes but he said he didn’t want to talk about it.

That first night when everyone else had fallen asleep I snuck out to the kitchen to get some water, and there was Min Ho sat on the sofa scrolling through his phone, he looked tired with the light illuminating his face in the dark.

“Can’t sleep?” I asked, but he just murmured a reply. I grabbed a blanket and went to sit down next to him, “maybe you should talk to him Min Ho,” I raised the idea gently.

He shook his head and put his head down, “And say what? Oh by the way dad thanks for not coming to the weekend getaway you wanted and always choosing everything and everyone else over me, I don’t think so” he says sharply but I know it’s directed at me. I turn his face to look at me, the persona falls then.

I put my arms around him and pull him close into a hug, running my hand up and down his back and nape as his head is hidden against my neck.

“Be careful L/n or you’ll actually fall in love with me,” he said turning his head ever so slightly to look at me.

“You wish,”

But he didn’t move away, we sat in silence for a while and when I whispered his name I got no reply, only to notice that he’d fallen asleep.

The Kitty came out the corridor to see us, I was running a hand through his hair as I was also starting to doze off, and Kitty whispered, “Is he okay”.

I nodded, “Yeah he will be,”, and then she was heading back to the bedroom with an I told you smile. Over the last few weeks, I did come to care for Min Ho more, as a friend, I got to know more about him and how he’s actually a human with his own shit going on, but he just doesn’t let people in. The rest if our time was spent, playing games and sitting in the hot tub in the evening, there was minimal drama apart from the whole Yuri, Julianna, Kitty and Praveena love letter, and Min Ho’s dad bailing but we made the most of the trip.

By the time we got back it was only two weeks until the school’s annual ball, this year’s theme was going to be ‘Blossom Ball’. In all honesty I didn’t think Min Ho and I would be keeping this thing up for so long but maybe it was time to end it before the ball, I knew more than a couple girls were hoping for my downfall so they could go with him, and in part I did feel guilty, one of these girls could be someone he could really fall for.

After overhearing another not-so-subtle conversation in one of my extracurricular classes I decided that it was time to put it to an end.

That was until I was walking through the common room area and was bombarded by 5 people with signs, pink glittery writing spread out on them, music was turned on really loud behind me, a well known Korean love song. The signs read:

‘Y/n’ ‘Will you’ ‘go to’ ‘the dance’ ‘with me?’

Then Marco burst through the crowd of guys with a single flower in his hands, dropping down to one knee in front of me.

I could feel the eyes of all the other students, and their whispers, mostly judging Marco, because like come on, from the onlooker of an outsider, who asks out a girl to prom when she’s had a boyfriend for the past two months? I could feel the frustration building up under my skin.

“Marco can you just give it a break! I have a boyfriend, that I really like for gods sake. Leave me alone!” I say with more fire than I had intended

“I guess that’s my cue, excuse me mate,” Min Ho says coming from behind Marco who is stuck with a mortified face looking towards us.

“Now that that joke of a man is out the way, will you go to the Blossom Ball with me L/n” he asked lifting the pink roses he held, for a moment something fluttered in my heart and I reminded myself this is not real, it’s for show. I just needed to get through the ball and then we could go back to the way things were, and my heart would stop doing summersaults every time he touched me or smiled at me.

I pulled the ‘are you joking face’ and a smile, a genuine smile, spreads over my lips, I can almost drown out the pathetic complaints from Marco. A but of guilt was eating away at me but not even those surrounding us were paying him any pity, still those who were looking were looking at Min Ho and I.

“Yes, of course,” I reply and reaching for the flowers, the second they’re out of his hands both of them are on my face and he kisses me boldly and I can feel myself blush at the reactions of all the students. The thing about Min Ho was that he didn’t need big signs or loudly blaring music to make something grand and meaningful.

“Well, I hope you have a black dress to wear so you can match my suit,”

“And what If I don’t?” I asked in a challenge.

“Then I guess you’ll be going with Mr grand gesture over there,” he points his thumb behind his back and shrugs before walking away. I watch him walk away for a moment, the audacity of this kid.

“You coming?” he asked turning around briefly and I shake my head before catching up with him.

<3 <3 <3

Thankfully the dress that I bought a while back was black and I have to admit I was looking fucking hot, with my hair curled and let down, my makeup and the black and white corsage that Min Ho dropped off earlier.

“Well well well, Min Ho is being treated tonight,” Kitty says coming out from the bathroom, now too in her dress, a satin red gown, she looked absolutely stunning, anyone would be lucky to have her.

“And who are you planning on wooing tonight Miss Covey,” I said pointing up and down her body, “You look stunning Kitty, all eyes will be on you,” I tell her and she comes give me a hug, everything in Kitty’s love life was still a little bit on fire and in chaos but she was dealing with it, I was there for her. She was doing okay and we found her family, who wasn’t exactly talking to her yet but we got the letters from Peter and we would make them listen one way or another.

We finished getting ready and headed out, the ball was on the other side of campus in one of the new buildings, I couldn’t wait to see all the decorations, and the view was said to be absolutely stunning. We met Yuri and Julianna outside the dorm building and made our way over together. The air was a perfect mix of fresh but also pleasantly warm so none of us had to wear jackets.

“You guys all look absolutely fire,” Q states the second he sees us in an exaggerated voice, complimenting little things about our looks and conveying that we may burn the building down with how hot we look.

“Is it time we talk about you now diva? Come on give us a spin,” Kitty exclaims and helps him do a little twirl. Then Jin comes back with 2 drinks and drags Q to the dance floor, Julianna and Yuri follow.

“So,” Kitty says hands behind her back and looking out at the huge room, it truly was stunning, there was petals everywhere and the colour scheme mixed pink and white and black and gold, it looked elegant, and almost too fancy for a school, “Where’s the lucky guy?” she asks.

“His dad needed something from him, but he should be here soon,” I said and spotted Praveena in my eyeline, Kitty’s gaze followed mine, “Maybe now’s the time?” I suggested, Kitty has been trying to work up the courage to talk to her since everything went down at the cabin but she can’t seem to find a way and it’s been eating away at her.

She asked five times if I was okay being left along for a while and I urged her to go, she deserved to be happy, and something was telling me that Praveena might be willing to hear her out. I headed over to the bar to get myself a drink, pulling out my phone to see a message from my mom asking me to call me when I’ve got a quiet minute. A wave of anxiety passes through me.

“Hi, are you okay?” I look up at the unfamiliar voice.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, I’m Josh, you just started to look really pale I thought you were about to faint or something,” he stuck his hand out, the boy has dark blonde hair, and he is learning against the bar with a friendly smile.

I shoved my phone back into my little purse, and shook his hand, “No I’m okay, thanks though,”

“Unpleasant message?” he asks and sits down, I take a seat next to him and explain that my family had a poor history of messaging me something really vague things when it was actually something serious and it would make me worry, he then took it upon himself to make me laugh, in his words laugher was one of the best medicines. I found he was from the year above and originally from Canada, and that he wanted my number and to take me out.

The conversation was enjoyable, and he bought me another drink so I gave him my number, he even wanted to dance but I couldn’t not save my first dance for my ‘boyfriend’, Kitty would be devastated. When he left to go to talk to some of his friends, I looked at the time, I hadn’t realised an hour and a half had passed already.

It was then that a figure walking in caught my eye. Min Ho was wearing a stunning black and white suit, his hair in his classic style and yet it looked extra lush right now. Watching him run his hand through it felt as though it was in slow motion. Q who was stood near the entrance caught his searching eyes and pointed in my direction.

“You look… pathetic,” he says in that very Min Ho way of his as he walks over, head turning slightly to the side observing my dress.

I smile subconsciously, “You too,”.

“I’m sorry I’m so late you know how my dad is, when he’s in a good mood it’s one thing after another,” he said earnestly.

I shook my head, brows scrunching, “Oh no don’t worry, I met a new friend, so he kept me company,”

“Who was it?”

“His names Josh, he’s in the year above us,” I say but Min Ho doesn’t seem to look impressed.

He reached his hand forward, a few strands of hair falling forwards, “Come on let’s dance,” he says completely ignoring what I just said, “You think people will believe you’re actually my girlfriend if I don’t even dance with you,”.

A reminder rings in my head, “True, Marco might think it’s his time to swoop in,” I say and something about his facial expression changes ever so slightly, the change so small and sudden that I can’t read it before it’s gone.

He doesn’t say anything just takes a hold of my hand and pulls me towards the dance floor, we stand before each other for less than a second before I reach my hands to rest around his neck, a small awkward chuckle escapes him. This wasn’t new, I have been in very close contact with him, but this felt different.

“Plus, I know this is your favourite song,” he says looking right into my eyes, as if he could see right into my soul.

We talked about Kitty, and Q and Jin, and his dad, and what was going to happen with the big talent competition, and what our plans were for the summer neither of us noting that when these plans were happening this was going to be over. Without either of us realising about three songs had passed, we made each other laugh and then tried to pull serious faces but my attempts were poor in comparison to his.

“This is not fair

“I lo- I really, really like your laugh,” he says correcting himself, I brush him off and move one arm to brush my hair behind my ear. He lifted his hand and tucked the side of my hair behind my ear, then his fingers went to my chin to lift my gaze towards him, his eyes scanning my face.

“L/n” he said, and I could feel my heart rate increase.

“Y/n!” Kitty’s voice shouted out as she approached with our friends, the music turned upbeat and she was pulling my arm to come dance with them, and that’s how the rest of the dance was spent, drinking fancy looking mocktails and running around and dancing with our friends.

It was a few days later when my mom had flown into Seoul and was going to meet me in a restaurant at the edge of town, I told Min Ho that I was more than capable of going by myself, but he insisted that drive and come with me, I only let him when he agreed to stay in the car. In the car he argued at me about not telling him my mom was flying in and that she could have used his family’s private jet rather than coach but I told him he was just being ridiculous.

When we arrived at the restaurant I saw mom through the window, she was wearing bright colours and had a gleaming smile on her lips as she scrolled on her phone. Some of the anxiety that I was feeling the last couple of days started to fizzle away. I pulled the sleeves of the hoodie that I stole from Min Ho in the car up and walked in.

“Y/n honey!” my mom stood up to give me an embrace.

“How are you mom?” I asked, “I’ve missed you, and dad,” I said I took the seat opposite her.

She brushes her hair behind her ear, “Oh it’s been quite chaotic I do have to say,” she starts and grabs a menu, “But let’s order food first then I’ll explain,” she said, I swallowed down and even though I wanted to argue I chose not to, not yet.

The food arrived and it was delicious, mom was talking telling me about some work drama and my aunt’s new baby which was lovely, but she was avoiding whatever she came here to tell me about. After she laid down her cutlery and picked up her phone I spoke up.

“Mom, can you tell me what’s going on?” I asked nervously.

The look in her eyes when she looked up at me had my heart dropping, brows burrowing and worry painting itself over my face.

“Your dad and I are getting a divorce,”

The world stopped. It was like I’d heard her say the words, but they weren’t registering in my head.

“We’ve been separated since you went back to school after the break,”

“What? How long has this been going on?” I asked frantic.

Mom moved her hand over the table and grab mine, they were soft and warm, “About halfway through last semester, we- we’ve been trying to make it work but we’ve decided we’ll be happier this way,” she said, her thumb running over my skin was not comforting. In all truth it was making me feel nauseous.

I didn’t say another word, I grabbed my phone and stood up, putting it in my back pocket and ignoring my mom’s words, her calls out to me. The only thing I could see clearly was the door, I needed fresh air.

When I was outside I couldn’t stop walking, I headed towards the outside area of the restaurant, towards the back of the fenced land.

“L/n!” a voice called but I didn’t turn around.

“Y/n!” they called again, at this point I reached the end of the land looking outward tears rolling down my face.

“Y/n are you okay? What happened?” Min Ho was asking frantically looking me over.

“They’re getting a divorce,” I whispered, the phrase sounded foreign on my lips, “Which means it was all for nothing,”

His brows furrow and he steps closer, “What was for nothing?”

“My whole childhood I spent listening to them argue, being the one in the middle, smoothing out the creases, bring the common ground, it was all for nothing,” I said again and felt the tears doubling.

“It’s going to be okay, it’s going to get better,” he said and reached his arms wide towards me, I took a few deep breaths and let out a sob, before wrapping my arms around him and letting him pull me close as I cried into his chest, shaking my head in denial.

He brushed his fingers over my hair moving it out of my face, holding me tightly.

“You must think I’m such a mess. You definitely did not sign up for this,” I say trying to add a playful tone, but it came out more pathetic than anything.

“Y/n I’d be more worried if you weren’t reacting like this,” he said laying his chin on my head, “You’re” he paused momentarily, “You’re kind and caring and loyal and have had a lot of pressure put on you your whole life, it’s normal for you to feel like this, this panicking need to fix it, even when you know you can’t make everyone happy,” he explained and I could feel my heart start to slow as I followed his breathing subconsciously.

After another few moments I took another deep breath and pulled away, still holding onto the sides of his open denim jacket, and him the sleeves on the hoodie, not much further apart.

“Thank you,” I said, and he wiped the last of my tears off from under my eye.

“That’s what I’m here for,” he said and then his eyes went from my eyes to my lips and back up, I could feel him leaning closer and my body naturally reacted, as if it were a dance it knew well. Then his lips were on mine, and they were soft and warm, and moved at exactly the right pace. I kissed back without a second thought, poured everything I was feeling into it, he pulled me close to his body. That’s when the second thought came and I pulled away.

“Min Ho, stop, what are we doing?” I asked, running my hand over my forehead, everything in my head a big mixture of mixed emotions and I could feel the tears building up again, the pressure in my chest making my shoulders rise, “There’s no one here, no need to pretend,”

“Y/n”

“In fact, I think the mission has ran its course,” I started, “Marco’s not bothering me anymore, so thank you, for everything, really. But we’ve been avoiding this because we don’t want things to be weird, but I think it’s time to come back to reality,” the words felt like sandpaper in my throat, “we should head back,” I said looking at his face, such a mixture of emotions on his face that I couldn’t read them. I forced myself to walk past him, he didn’t follow straight away but then his steps echoed behind mine.

We sat in silence the whole way back to K.I.S.S and I got out the car before he could say anything, I rushed to my dorm only to be met with all three of the girls upon arrival. The second they spotted me, all faces concerned and I started to cry again. Greving my parents divorce and what felt like the loss of a friendship I so desperately didn’t want to end, my words were harsh, and I didn’t want to lose his him, but his face was a clear sign.

They all questioned what happened, Julianna made me a tea, Yuri brought in a blanket and Kitty cooed me in her arms. I didn’t mention Min Ho, I didn’t know how to go about that yet, I didn’t want to make either of us look like dickheads, ending this right after what I found out about my parents.

I managed to give myself a huge migraine, so I went to bed early, and fell asleep after crying for what felt like hours.

When I woke up in the middle of the night I looked at my phone to see the time, and what was a few messages from Min Ho.

(20:30) Posh boy: Are you feeling any better?

(20:58) Posh boy: Do you need anything? I can bring some chocolate or ice cream

(21:25) Posh boy: Please answer I’m worried about you

The last was sent a couple minutes ago,

(02:23) Posh boy: I know you’re asleep, but I’ve ordered your favourite tea and those biscuits that you love to steal from me, they should get here tomorrow

(03:00) Posh boy: Night L/n

I turned my phone back on its other side and turned around to face the other side in my bed, and forced myself to go back to sleep.

<3 <3 <3

I barley left the dorm for days, at the end of the weekend I sent an email to Alex explain the situation and explaining that I needed a few days, he accepted the request if I kept on top of the work. On Wednesday I went back to lessons, I hadn’t spoken to Min Ho since that day, he was probably avoiding me, just like I was avoiding him.

Josh and I had been texting a load since the night of the ball and I was staring to feel like maybe it could go somewhere, he respected that I needed some space right now but was already planning on some activities for us to do when I was up for it. It was making my heart hurt a little less.

When Friday rolled around, I knew I would have to face him: move night.

The girls got in their comfies in the evening and were grabbing the snacks we bought earlier in the day, ready to head out to the boy’s room. I was dreading it and if the girls realised, I was being quiet they didn’t say anything.

When we arrived all was pretty normal. We made hot drinks and put out the snacks. Min Ho didn’t say anything to me and I hadn’t engaged either. He was sitting in his usual spot on the side of the sofa but I took a seat on Kitty’s side and laid my head on her shoulder, she quickly laid her arm around me and put her head on mine, rubbing my arm to soothe me, to tell me she’s got me. I think they all knew something was off between Min Ho and I too, that it wasn’t just the divorce I was upset about anymore, but they we’re giving me time.

I paid very little attention to the film and was ready to leave as soon as it was over. When we were back into our room Kitty sighed and turned around to me, “What’s going on with you and Min Ho, you guys seemed off tonight?” she asked.

I turned to her quickly, “We’ve ended things,” I say quickly “I think we’re figuring out how to behave around each other again,” I said earnestly.

Kitty looked both confused and worried, “Did something happen? Don’t get me wrong I love the guy but if he hurt you, I swear,” she started coming over to sit on the edge of my bed.

I gave her a sad smile, “Kitty, we just didn’t work,” I said and everything about the look on her face said she didn’t believe me, but she took the hint when I slid down my pillow and wrapped myself up in my duvet.

On Monday when I was walking to Mr Moon’s class for managers when I overheard Kitty and Min Ho talking inside, I quickly stepped back and listened from outside.

“Min Ho you’re losing her, she was so happy, literally glowed when you guys first got together, what happened?” Kitty demanded, “and don’t tell me things just didn’t work out because I’ve already heard that excuse, be honest with me,”.

I could hear a shuffle, and Min Ho taking a deep breath, “I don’t think she’d want us to be having this conversation right now,” he said.

‘Min Ho whatever you did I can see in your eyes that you care for her, so fix it before it’s too late,” Kitty says softly this time, then there’s a silence, “Oh my god,” she continued, “It wasn’t you, she ended it,” Kitty said.

“No, Kitty come on, it was a mutual decision,” he tried to argue, he tried to put in some conviction into it, but the lie was coming out weak.

“Min Ho,” Kitty said with conviction, “If you care for her you’ve got to fight, one thing I’ve learned from Lara-Jeans is that love isn’t easy and doesn’t always start in the way you expect it to, but it is worth it,” she said.

“Oh, hey Y/n,” Praveena said coming up to me, I could hear shuffles in the classroom “I wonder what Mr Moons has planned for this lesson,” she said completely ordinarily.

“Sorry I’ve got to go,” I said walking away quickly.

Later that afternoon after lessons had finished, I was leaving the main building to head back to the dorm, we were all having dinner in the boy’s dorm tonight and I was already running late because I had to tutor and bless the girl, but she was clueless. I was trying to use my arms to shield my face as much as possible from the rain that chucking down.

Then I heard a voice shout out, I turned around to see Min Ho, waking towards me.

“Y/n!” he called out and I stopped in my tracks, “finally you give me the time of day,” he says sharply, his tone makes me stand up straighter, “firstly so much for staying friends and acting normal,” he said and then ran a hand through his hair, water dripping down his face, “secondly-”

I interrupted him, “I’m sorry,”

“Y/n/”

“Look I’ve been talking to Josh and I-” this time he tried to interrupt me but I prevailed “Min Ho, he’s a good guy and I think,” I sighed, running my tongue over my lips, “I could really like him, and there’s plenty of girls waiting for you to give them a chance, but this thing between us, we blurred the lines and we need to stop” I said with the frustration coming through, rain falling harshly down my face, this is already hard enough, to know this is going to end, so why is he making it harder, giving my heart beats of hope, “We both deserve something real,” I sounded tired, even to my own ears.

“Y/n I don’t want this to end,” his voice came out just above a whisper, and I felt my heartbeat triple.

“What?” I asked, quieter than I expected.

“Look I know this was not the plan, but- I went to the club that night because I saw Marco and his buddies leave and they were teasing him about finally making a move on you, so I followed them, but I didn’t know why yet, then somewhere in this whole situation I realised that I was jealous, then it became real and I realised I didn’t want it to end, and ever time you’d bring up that we we’re doing it because of Marco it crushed me,” he said and I just stated at him.

“I think I fell in love with you,” he said looking at me, the rain pouring down his face, “A little bit… or a lot,”.

My eyes scan his face frantically. Min Ho had fallen for me. Just like I had fallen for him. Before he could move or say anything else, I fling my arms around him and kiss him passionately, holding him as close as I possible could, and that was still not close enough.

“I love you too,” I said after I pulled away, laying my forehead against his, I could see him smile before I closed my eyes again and he pulled me into a tight embrace. It felt like the relief was coursing through both of our bodies.

“It’s good to hear you finally admit it,” he said back to his natural cockiness, “Everyone eventually falls for me, it’s my charm unfortunately,” he said.

“Well stop using it on other girls or I might get jealous,”

“You know what? That does kind of make me feel some sort of way, I quite like my imaginary version of you jealous and it’s quite hot,” he muses, and I just pull him in for another kiss, running my hands through his hair. His hands on my waist pulling me close.

Then when we came back into the building, whilst still soaked, we came clean to our friends, and whilst most of them were shocked Kitty was very offended, but all in all they were glad we worked it out because it was obvious long before this that there was something bubbling under the surface.

“I can’t believe you pulled a Lara-Jean on me! Now I’ve fallen for it twice,” Kitty said running her hand over her forehead.

“I think this means Y/n is taking over the title of chaos queen,” Q said shaking his head, and everyone started laughing, Min Ho had his arm around me, and I naturally leaned into his chest as I giggled, and he kissed my forehead.

#netflix #kitty song covey #minho xo kitty #xo kitty #min ho moon #min ho x reader #minho x you #min ho oneshot #xo kitty season 2

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neeeooon · 2 months ago

Text

random texts with bf rin ;

itoshi rin x gn!reader. fake texts

you: i wanna bite ur tongue

rin: what

you: what

you: say, hypothetically, someone of my height and stature were to find a tiny black kitten playing in a shoe on the way home from the shop

you: hypothetically, if that someone were to take that kitten home

you: again, all hypothetical

you: do you think their hypothetical emo boyfriend would approve? hypothetically

rin: y/n did you bring the cat into the house

you: who’s y/n

rin: hiori says hi

you: WHAT

you: HIORI???? THE CUTIE WITH BLUE HAIR???

you: RIN ARE YOU MAKING FRIENDS????!!

rin: it’s not a big deall

you: IT IS

you: i’m gonna bake you a cake

you: it’ll say “friendless?” with a big ❌ over it

rin: you love me so much

you: SOMEONE HAS TO

you: YOU SHOULD INVITE HIORI OVER WE’RE HAVING CAKE FOR DINNER

rin: ok ❤️❤️

you: you remind me of goo goo muck

rin: ?? what

you: IDK ur just soooooo goo goo muck 🥰

rin: i can’t tell if this is insulting or not

you: and like soooo vampires dancing at goth clubs

rin: are you drunk

you: i May need a ride home 😍

rin: i am going to stab isagi

you: no you aren’t

rin: i am going to Stab him to Death.

you: ok

you: what happened this time

rin: nothing i just hate his face

you: we really need to get you into therapy

#blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock headcanons #blue lock rin #blue lock texts #itoshi rin #bllk rin #bllk x you #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin x you #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #bllk smau #bllk crack #itoshi rin texts

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neoraso · 2 months ago

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bf things with boynextdoor

03z + 04z

sungho

cooks for you without a second thought. wants his baby fed and even before you started dating he always made extra when he knew you were coming around

sticks up for you always. if he sees ANYONE mistreating or teasing you too much he makes sure to end it there.

thinks you're THE funniest person alive. laughs harder and smiles more when you're around

lots of dates (shopping, cafe, eating, museums,etc.) but also loves to just stay in, cook and watch movies with you, talking and cuddling, he serenades you sometimes playfully >_<

loves to play with your hair and hold your hands- so simple but its so endearing and special to him to feel the back of your hand or your fingers curled in his own.

riwoo

was literally so shy around you before you started dating, now you are the person he feels most at home with. he doesn’t say it all the time but it shows when he’s around other people

carries your bags for you, holds your drink, etc. with no hesitance- even if someone points it out

is quite observant about your moods, habits, likes and dislikes. prides himself on knowing things about you no one else seems to care about-especially when he pulls out the most thoughtful gifts that leave you floored

feels a sense of responsibility for your care and overall wellbeing, but also feels incredibly comforted and safe with you

loves to share food and treats with you, all the time but especially when you look like you need a pick me up

jaehyun

he tries to not hang off of you like a backpack but fails within an hour and especially at night

everyone he introduces you to, coworkers, family members, friends, etc., all act like they know you from how much he talks about you. he thinks the world of you and loves to brag

every time he sees you it's like you've been gone for 6 years, even if it's only been a day; hugs so tight and gives 1 billion kisses, coos at you

an obvious mention: cute aggression that occurs so often it might be like a chronic affliction... srsly... kisses your face and head with a surprising amount of force and ur literally js sitting there, minding ur business

he elevates you. he's a great guy who you know deserves the world and it makes you want to live up to that. he feels the same about you and you guys encourage each other to be your best selves.

taesan

loves to have matching items with you (will spend hours customizing shoes or hats for you both)

loves days in where u just listen to whatever records you picked up the last time he brought you to the shop and lay there or slow dance around

lovessss meaningful gifts and gestures. will buy or make you snacks when you’re stressed or just bc would steal the moon for you if you asked

thinks everything you do is so cute and perfect and wonderful. literally so biased he will choose you to win over anyone

likes to pick you up from work or school even if its just to walk to the bus stop together and ride home (greatest protector award goes to…!!!)

leehan

your rock. soothes all your worries no matter how silly they seem. says really profound things like they're simple and- you guess they are when he’s around.

treats you oh so softly; tucks your hair behind your ears, pulls you into a hug like you're glass

nothing is embarrassing to him, he will wash your hair, shave your legs, brush your teeth for you. just ask and he’s there

likes when you sit with him while he watches his fishies,, you dont even have to be watching too but he feels so content with both of his favorite things to be around

the type where if you fall asleep on the couch instead of moving you, he'll just slip next to you to sleep too <<33

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sivyera · 2 years ago

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TWILIGHT characters as love tropes

ft. carlise, esme, emmet, rosalie, edward, jasper, alice, jacob, seth, leah, paul, charlie, bella

a/n: with songs to each character

༻♛༺

⤷ Carlisle Cullen - rich love

Carlisle is a very rich man which means he will spoil you a lot. Not only with expensive gifts but also with a lot of attention and affection.

Every time when he gets home from work, he welcomes you with a kiss and warm hug.

When he has a day off, he will cook with you (even tho he cannot eat it, it's just about the time he can spend with you) or you will lay on his lap with his hand stroking your hair and book in his other hand, reading to you.

Every Friday he will take you to a fancy restaurant and than for a slow walk around the nearest park.

On your birthday or on International Women's Day (or any other 'special' day) he will spoil you even more than on normal days. Expensive jewelry, perfumes, clothes, shoes,...

He will bring you flowers at least once every two weeks. And every July he will take you on vacation and you can choose where.

Lolita - Lana Del Rey

⤷ Esme Cullen - falling in love fast

Esme is such a kind soul so it's no surprise that you two fell in love with each other fast.

She will take you on a date every Saturday. Mostly coffee dates are her favourite. The two of you can talk for hours while drinking delicious coffee.

She will also enjoy baking with you (even tho she cannot eat/taste them)

She has many polaroids with you on them or with the both of you on them and has them hang in her closet or the small table beside her bed.

She loves when you paint her nails and massage her legs and she will always return the favor.

She loves sunny days but because she's a vampire and her skin sparkle on the sun, she cannot go out where people can see her, BUT she can go somewhere private like meadow or forest where you two can be alone and on the sun!

Sofia - Clairo

⤷ Emmett Cullen - he fell first and harder

Emmett was absolutely over the moon when you two started dating, because he knew from the start that you two are just meant to be.

He loves, loves, LOVES when you sit on his lap. He doesn't care if you are stroking his hair or doing make-up on him, he just want you in his lap, so he can embrace you with his big arms and muscular body.

He'll dance goofily around the bedroom with you to some catchy hip-hop songs he has found.

He loves cuddling with you especially when he can be the big spoon, because he likes how tiny you're compared to him.

Matching pyjamas and make polaroids in those pyjamas, which happens to be one of his favourite memory and polaroids.

He doesn't really like reading books but he always wants you to read to him, because he loves your voice.

She's Kinda Hot - 5 Seconds of Summer

⤷ Rosalie Cullen/Hale - you fell first but she fell harder

Rosalie has trust issues and trauma because of her past so she wouldn't fall in love easily nor fast, but trust me when she does fall in love; she loves hard.

She loves having spa day with you which includes face masks, painting nails, shared warm bath and much more.

She will take you to the mail shopping almost every day and will buy you everything you look at.

She doesn't like much PDA but she will hold your hand in public but if she gets jealous, she will show the person she's jealous off who you belong to.

She doesn't show it to others just you, but she loves cuddles. She loves when you lay next to her, face to face so she can see your beautiful face.

She's also very protective over you, so if any guy or a girl makes you feel uncomfortable (or unsafe), tell her and she will make sure they won't approach you ever again.

Prey - The Neighbourhood

⤷ Edward Cullen - first and only love

Edward waited so many years for you, but it was worth it because he finally got you.

He loves when you kiss his forehead even tho he has to lean down because of your height difference, it makes him feel safe. Still his favourite place to kiss you is on your lips.

Edward will write poets for you and about you on small piece of paper and then put them somewhere in your room where you will notice them like your closet or on your book, laptop, notebook, pillow,...and he will bring you your favorite flowers right after the previous ones he gave you have withered.

He will also write songs about you (or for you) and then play them to you on the piano. Which he absolutely loves because you sit right next to him and look at him with those beautiful eyes of yours full of love. Edward cannot read your mind but he can sure read your eyes, the small spark and the love in them when you look at him, he just loves it!

Loves cuddling with you, his favourite position is when you lay on his chest or when he's the big spoon, face to face or hugging you from behind.

He loves having deep talks with you and he'll tell you about his childhood or about the time he was born in.

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

⤷ Jasper Cullen/Hale - unconditional love

Jasper can be sometimes insecure just as much as Edward, they even have similar reasons... Jasper is afraid of him hurting you, he's afraid that he won't be able to control himself around you, but your words of affirmation and gently touch will calm him down.

Jasper doesn't talk much, he rather listens and he loves listens to you. It doesn't matter what you are talking about, he just loves your voice.

He will take you for a horse ride because he loved it back when he was a human and because he was a cowboy, but you two will have to share the horse because he wants your arms around him.

At first he was a bit scared of cuddling with you (again because of his control) but soon as your hand went to his hair, he melted. Both of you realized how touch starved he's so now cuddling is an everyday thing.

Jasper is a gentleman like Edward or Carlisle so he will also bring you flowers every even week.

He'll read to you to make you fall asleep, because his smooth voice is like a lullaby to you. But if Jasper feels that you are anxious, he will calm you down with his gift and than talk to you what made you anxious, eventually he will cuddle you.

R U Mine? - Artic Monkeys

⤷ Alice Cullen - any universe

Alice (because of her gift) always knew you were the one, her one and only true love. So when she first saw you, she couldn't help but babbling to her adoptive siblings all day how amazing you are and how she's already in love with you.

She'll go to the mail with you and make small fashion show with you in the cabins with all the cute outfits she found for you and you for her.

She's mostly the small spoon (sometimes she is the big spoon but depends on the situation) while cuddling because she loves when you hold her in your arms and stroke her back.

Outside, in front of other people, she will always hold your whole arm, not just palm.

If you have trouble falling asleep, she will gladly sing to you while stroking your hair.

She'll buy matching clothes, jewerly or nail polish, because she loves when you two match your outfits or other accesories.

i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red

⤷ Jacob Black - whatever it takes

Jacob is willing to do anything and everything for you, his imprint. He will kill for you, he will die for you, he will do just everything.

Jacob can be sometimes insecure because he isn't that rich like the Cullens and he thinks you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen, so once again he's willing to prove you that he's worthy of your love.

He'll make you a small wolf and your favourite flower out of wood and attached it into a bracelet, which he will eventually give you to your birthday.

He's also a big cuddle bug, because he's so warm will make you comfortable enough to fall asleep. He's most of the time the big spoon because he feels like he's protecting you but he doesn't mind to be the little spoon. Cuddling also leaves his scent on you so every vampire or shape-shifter (wolf) can smell who you belong to.

He'll take you on motorcycle rides. Also he will drop you at your school on his motorcycle and then he will pick you up. Also he'll let you ride on his back while he's in his wolf form.

Jacob doesn't like fancy restaurants, he prefers his or your bed with some snacks and movies, cuddling of course!

Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran

⤷ Seth Clearwater - love at first sight

Seth hoped that he will met his imprint someday and he heard from the others how amazing the feeling is to imprint on someone, but no one really prepared him to him because when he first saw you, your beauty hit him like a brick. And he finally understood the feeling because all he could see was you...

Seth will make sure you are always in a good mood with him, either he could tell you some stupid joke or cheesy pick-up line.

He maybe look like a cute baby but don't let his cute face fool you because he won't hesitate to kill for you, so it makes him really protective over you.

In his wolf form he's like a big puppy but only to you and he loves giving you piggy back rides in his wolf form.

Cuddling really depends on his mood; if he's in good mood he will be the little spoon with his head placed on your lap; if he's in a bad mood (mostly when he's jealous) he'll be the big spoon to show others that he can protect you.

He loves baking with you but he's clueless so he will just stand there and watch you or mix some ingredients, often sneaks up a kiss on the cheek while baking.

Dandelions - Ruth B.

⤷ Leah Clearwater - enemies to lovers

At first Leah hated the fact that she actually had a imprint, so she would try to stay away from you as much as possible and when she couldn't; she would have some nasty comments towards you, but it hurt her as hell when she saw how sad she made you or worst insecure.

She tried hard to stay away from you but she failed, miserably. She needed you, she needed to be with you, so she will explain everything to you same as she would apologize for her acting.

Very protective of you, anyone could just try and test her patience.

At first she wouldn't want you to be near her while she was in her wolf form because she was much bigger and stronger so she was afraid that she could hurt you, but she became a sucker for scratches behind her ear.

Seth will often tease his big sister because she's really soft when it comes to you, which makes Leah give Seth few playful slaps.

When it comes to cuddling, Leah is the big spoon because she has the urge to protect you and being the big spoon makes her feel like she's protecting you in you sleep.

Running With The Wolves - AURORA

⤷ Paul Lahote - rough love

With the term 'rough love' i mean that Paul is passionate lover and is willing to do anything for his imprint, you.

Paul isn't very patient when it comes to people but you are an exception. Still he's aggressive when someone push his buttons but you are always here to drag him away and calm him down.

Just a single touch and Paul's full attention is on you. Which brings me to the fact that he turns into a puppy when you touch him, your touch is just to comforting.

He's the big spoon because he feels like he protects you and it makes his scent stay on you.

He can get jealous very easily, he trusts you but he doesn't trusts the others and he doesn't want any boys or girls too close to his imprint.

Loves everything you cook or bake and will always eat everything.

Overprotective, if any vampire even dare to touch you, he'll kill him.

Little Freak - Harry Styles

⤷ Charlie Swan - old love

Charlie is old school but still a huge gentleman.

He will bring you flowers every time you had a bad day and some chocolates when you had a good day to make it even better.

He loves watching old movies or crime/detective movies with you, with his arm around your shoulder.

When he has day off, you two will go on a picnic date which always ends up with you laying on his chest while he's telling you some stories from work.

Every time you bring him a lunch into his police office, he will welcome you with a warm, thankful smile and thank you with a kiss on your cheek.

He will protect you even more than before, when he finds out that there are vampires and werewolfs (shape-shifters).

Burning Love - Elvis Presley

⤷ Bella Swan - teenage love

Bella will be awkward and nervous when she first spoke to you, because you were just too beautiful to be real. But to her surprise she made you fall in love with her which made her so, so happy.

First attempts of trying to cuddle with her or just show her simple romantic affection were awkward because she was just to nervous, eventually she will warm up and feel more comfortable.

She find our that you touch calms her anxiety and nervousness so whenever she's nervous or anxious she will just hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Charlie was very happy that his daughter found someone like you, which made Bella even more happy when she saw how you, the love of her life and her father get along.

Often having sleepovers at her house when Charlie has night shifts, which always leads to matching face masks and cuddles.

Kisses on the cheek are her favourite, because she can easily turn and give you small peck on your cheek and visa versa.

Electric Love - BØRNS

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