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slaasherslut · 2 years ago

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Pig to the Slaughter part 1/?

Angels of Ambrose/Black Christmas crossover

Summary: All of the cast of characters we love so much are put into a new scene. How will they fare with a killer hiding within their little sorority house? Who will live and who will die?

Warnings: Alcohol, excessive cursing, mentions of death

3k words

oc's included in this fic are:

Alia Fowl @kalid-raven, Percy Jones @the-pinstriped-hood, Ellie Mason & Bell Langland @rottent33th, Red @damien-mlm, Darrell Todd @bluecoolr, Skulk @probably-a-plant-thing, Maggie Sinclair @soupbabe

It was a quiet night in the sorority house. Most of the other girls had already left for their Christmas holidays back home. Girls had been filtering out of the house all week once they were all packed up and finished everything for school. The last being Alia, a very sweet freshman girl who had left only half an hour prior. The only ones that were left were Ava, Percy, Ellie and Bell. The four girls planned on staying around campus for the Christmas break, not that any of them had much they wanted to go home to anyways. They didn't mind staying behind though, they had each other for good company. They would all spend Christmas together and possibly have Bell's new boyfriend come visit and meet the rest of the girls. Plus they liked the idea of having the big old house all to themselves, which was something of a rarity if it happened at all. The girls had decided to have a relaxing night in together, except for Bell who was fast asleep upstairs in her bedroom. The other three girls sat in the living room chatting with mugs of hot cocoa and rum in their hands. The flames from the fireplace gave the surrounding walls a warm blush, heating up the entire house around them in contrast to the cold Canadian winter that lay just beyond the walls. Ava excused herself to the kitchen to check on the snack foods that were cooking for the girls to share.

Percy's rant about her beau was cut short by the phone ringing. Ellie and Percy gave each other startled looks. The sound of the phone ringing became something of a bad omen in this particular house. Not a whole lot of people called the house at all, if it was a partner of one of the girls they usually just came by. Most of the recent calls were coming from a disgusting perv who seemed to like getting his rocks off from calling and scaring them. They dubbed him as “the moaner” since his calls were always a bunch of grunts and moans.

Both girls had their eyes stuck on the old landline at the bottom of the stairs. They felt as though the phone had eyes trained back on them and they were in a staring match with the hunk of plastic. Ava walked back into the room after the first few rings. She fiddled with her freshly dyed red and green hair uncomfortably in the doorway, staring where the other two girls were.

"Just let it ring." She hushed.

She wasn't sure why she was so quiet, it was as though the person on the other end of the line would be able to hear her if she spoke too loud. Ava took a few steps closer to the girls. She rested her hands on the back of the couch behind Ellie's head as she waited alongside them. The phone rang for a minute straight before it stopped. The three let out a shaky breath in unison. After a few seconds of silence the girls went back to their previous activities. Ava was only a few steps into the kitchen when the phone started ringing once again.

“Really!?” Ellie said in a high pitched voice, she let out a huge groan. They waited a few seconds before Ava sighed and walked over to the phone. “Ava no!” Ellie spoke again. “What if it's him?” Her voice was laced in worry.

“Well whoever it is they called twice, it might be important.” Ava said as she took the few remaining steps towards the landline and picked it up.

“Hello?” She answered.

A deep groan on the other end of the line answered her. She mentally cursed herself. It was him again. She looked towards the other girls and rolled her eyes. They sprung up from their spots on the couch and ran across the room to plant their feet next to her. As much as they hated the calls, a morbid curiosity took over them and as much as they hated to admit it they could be kind of humorous sometimes. The girls all looked at each other as a chorus of wailing screamed loudly through the receiver. They seemed to drift between wails of pain and pleasure.

“Pretty little piggy slut.” The voice was low and gravely.

Ava raised an eyebrow as she looked between Percy and Ellie. She covered the receiver.

“Wow!” she giggled. “Looks like Mr. Moans-a-lot is expanding his act!” Her comment made the other two giggle as it seemed to lighten the mood. In previous calls he wasn't much of a talker, usually just vulgar sounds. Another high pitched moan came through, she could tell it was the same guy but it was so high it almost sounded like a woman.

“Pretty… pink… cunt…let me lick it… lick it, lick it, lick it!” The girls all visibly cringed, this wasn’t funny anymore it was getting pretty gross.

“Let me lick your pretty little piggy cunt!” What followed was a cacophony of vile oinking sounds and a loud dark laugh.

Ava gasped. “You fucking creep!” She looked towards the other girls. Ellie had covered her mouth in shock, only moving her hands to whisper a harsh “hang up!” The voice continued to laugh before growling.

“I'm gonna shove my cock so deep inside your pretty pussy you’ll be screaming for me!” He started moaning again. Percy had to turn away from the phone call as Ava scoffed in disgust.

“Okay gross! Never call back here again or were calling the cops! We're done here!”

“Hang up on me you stupid slut and I'll slaughter you like the little piggy you are!”

The voice on the other end began to cackle, fluctuating between several octaves as if multiple people were in the room, but they could tell it was from one person. Ava panicked as she slammed the phone back down without a second thought. Her heart felt like it was going to stop from how fast it was beating, her chest hurt, she could barely breathe.

"That's new." Ellie whispered, she was shaking, they all were. The three girls looked at each other in a pregnant silence. Percy stepped closer to Ava and wrapped herself around the younger girls arm.

"Honey, come on, let's go sit back down. Don't let that creep ruin our night huh?" Percy pulled her in the direction of the living room as they wanted to resume the nice evening they were having. Ava nodded, her heartbeat finally started to slow and breath filled her lungs easier than before. They were barely a few steps away from the phone when it started ringing again. The sound startled them, making them all almost jump out of their skin. Ellie let out a small shriek and Percy being the protector she was instantly reached out to grab her hand. Ava was so startled she actually became angry. She felt it bubble up in her stomach and shoot up her spine. She stomped back over to the phone and picked up the receiver.

"Listen you little-!"

"I'm going to kill you." The voice was deep and monotone before the dial tone hung heavy in the air. Her muscles seemed to freeze in fear. The phone still clenched in her fist. The voice was low enough to where the other girls just barely heard it. They all stood in silence together, shaking and on the verge of tears. This had never happened before. Speaking was a completely new thing for this psychopath, but death threats? They never expected that. Any thoughts of the phone calls being a prank by another sorority or one of the frat houses went out the window. Percy was the first to break the silence.

“Well then...” Her voice was shaky, she was nervous but her protective instincts kicked in and she tried desperately not to show how she was truly feeling. She took the phone out of Ava’s hand and set it onto the table, she didn't even bother hanging it up. No more phone calls. She lightly guided Ava and Ellie into the living room and back onto the couch. The two girls sat directly next to each other, their knees pressed together as a way to help calm each other down. Percy draped herself over the back of the couch, wrapping her arms around Ava’s neck from behind.

"Should I call one of the guys over? Will that make you feel better?" Percy asked, trying to make them more comfortable. Ava shook her head.

"I don't wanna bug them, I'm pretty sure they're all busy."

"You wouldn't be bugging them!" Percy gave Ava a little squeeze. "In fact, I think they would be offended if we didn't call them at a time like this." Percy cracked a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. Ava hesitated for a moment before nodding.

"Okay, okay, but don't guilt trip them. It's late and I don't want to fuck up their night cause this prick is scaring the shit out of us." Percy kissed her on the head before nodding.

“Should we wake Bell up?” Ellie squeaked. Percy shook her head.

“No, let her sleep, she was up pretty early this morning.”

She got up and left Ava and Ellie sitting on the couch while she left to call around to see who was available for the night. A sniffle next to Ava made her eyes tilt up to see Ellie with tears in her eyes. She looked like she was trying not to cry as she shook, scared out of her mind. Ava felt bad for worrying the poor girl. She shouldn't have picked up the fucking phone, she felt like an idiot.

"Oh Ellie, it's okay, don't cry!" Ava scooted impossibly closer and rested her hands reassuringly on her thigh. Just saying the words were enough for the dam to break and tears flooded out with a choked sob. Ellie threw her arms around Ava's shoulders and curled up into her. She put her arms around the younger girl and lightly rocked her, telling her through hushed whispers that things were gonna be okay, even if she didn't believe it herself.

As Ellie's tears started to subside, Percy strode back in the room and sat on the armrest of the couch.

"Okay I just got off the phone with the frat house down the road." She clasped her hands together with a small smile. "Red said he'll be by in a little while and he'll sleep in your room with you tonight. Is that okay?" Ava breathed a sigh of relief as she closed her eyes and leaned back against the couch. Red was a sweetheart and he was one of the few men in that fraternity she trusted. She felt better knowing he would be with her throughout the night and she would feel even better once he got there.

Roughly twenty minutes later a loud knock came at the front door. Ava’s heart began to race until Percy opened the door and the voices of Red and Darrell echoed throughout the foyer. She peaked over the back of the couch trying to hopefully hear them better but she couldn't hear exactly what was being said. They spoke in hushed words for a moment until Red noticed a pair of green eyes on him. They had all been busy lately so it was nice to see them again. Ava smiled once they made eye contact. He beamed back with arms wide open, strutting into the living room.

“I heard that a certain little lady needed some Red tonight!” He laughed as Ava jumped over the back of the couch and into his arms.

“I missed you!” Ava squealed as his arms wrapped around her and squeezed tight.

“I missed ya too, Av!” He gripped her by the shoulders and held her at arm's length. Her hair was different since the last time he saw her. She went from bleach blonde to green and red, for Christmas of course. He ran his hand through her hair and lightly gripped a section of red hair before turning around to face Percy and Darrell who were chatting, pressing his temple to Ava’s.

“Look Blue! We match!” Darrell stopped his conversation with the raven haired girl and turned his attention to Red, who was pressed up against Ava with his tongue sticking out. Darrell smiled as a faint blush dusted his cheeks. “You two look real cute.”

The boys said their ‘hellos’ to all three girls before everyone except for Darrell and Percy converged in the living room. Red went through the girls collection of DVD’s before before getting comfy on the couch.

"You girls gonna be okay?" Darrell asked, turning to look at Percy questioningly.

The two looked over to where Ellie was curled up in the large armchair with a warm blanket and Ava was cuddled up with Red. His arms wrapped tightly around her as she was nestled in between his legs with her back against his chest as they watched whatever movie he had picked out.

"I think we'll be okay. We're just a bit shaken up is all, especially those two." Percy motioned to the other two girls. "I don't think anything bad is actually gonna happen, probably just a dumb prank." Darrell nodded at her words. They were both worried but they did their best not to show it.

"Wan’ me to stay too?" He asked, using his teeth to fidget with the ring in his lip.

"No!" Percy exclaimed. "I can't ask you to do that! Besides, Skulk is probably waiting for you back home." She gave him a sly smile as he looked down at his feet, a crimson blush crept up his neck. A small smile began to mimic hers. Darrel gave a hushed “well okay then” before stepping towards the door before he paused.

“Actually, can I grab some coffee or somethin’ for the walk back? It's freezin’ out there.” He chuckled.

“Of course!.” Percy answered as she started walking towards the kitchen, Darrell followed closely behind. “Or we made some spiked hot chocolate if you're interested?” He nodded with a smile.

“Sounds perfect, thank you.”

Darrell leaned against the counter top while Percy rummaged around one of the cabinets for one of her travel mugs, she settled on her matte black one. She raised the bag of mini marshmallows on the counter and gave them a shake as a silent question of want. Darrell nodded.

“Bo was askin’ aboutcha yknow.” A smirk danced along Darrell's lips. Percy rolled her eyes, she was still waiting for that southern dumb ass to apologize for the fight he started.

“Oh god, what did he say this time?”

“Jus’ that he feels like an idiot.”

“Yeah well he should, he was being a total prick… and if he truly feels that way why hasn't he apologized to me yet?” Darrell shrugged. “Well you know how Bo can be.” Percy shrugged with an eye roll while she poured some rum into the travel mug followed by a hefty ladle of hot chocolate from a pot on the stove. The conversation caught the attention of the three in the living room as they peered over to listen in. Percy caught Bo being a bit flirty with one of the freshmen girls and they were having a huge fight. The guy was real sweet on his lady but still couldn't seem to ditch that typical frat boy attitude.

“An’ don't be alarmed if he shows up here sometime soon.” Darrell said as she put a handful of mini marshmallows in the mug.

“What makes you think he's gonna come here? The tool can't even pick up the phone and call me.”

“I heard him on the phone with Maggie this afternoon.”

Percy rolled her eyes once again with a huff as the two made their way into the living room. She tightly screwed the lid on the travel mug and handed it to him.

“Bo hasn't apologized yet?” Ava piped up. Percy and Darrell hadn't known their conversation was being listened to until now, they both turned their attention towards her. The older woman adjusted her glasses as she stepped towards the couch, leaning down against it.

“Don't you worry about it honey, you've got enough on your plate as it is.” She ruffled Ava’s hair as she walked Darrell to the door. The girls and Red shouted out loving goodbyes before he made his way back home in the thick snow.

While Ellie, Ava and Red were getting settled in, and Percy was making Darrell his hot chocolate to prepare him for his trek home, a stranger silently made his way into the house. Climbing up the lattice Ellie had so lovingly placed for her plants, and crawled through the unlocked attic window. Crawling out of the attic he heard the familiar voice of the little piggy bitch who hung up on him earlier. He crept towards the stairs and looked down, seeing two unfamiliar men with his girls made him seethe with rage. A snore from down the hall quickly diverted his attention. The man slowly tiptoed to the room the snoring was coming from and cracked the door open, peering in. A girl with bright pink hair lay fast asleep in her bed. He couldn't help but giggle at the colour.

“Pretty piggy.” He thought to himself.

He made his way inside and shut the door behind him. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark he made his way to stand at the end of Bell's bed. Looming over her sleeping figure like a predator sizing up his prey. His hand slowly reached out to grasp a belt that was hanging around the post at the end of her bed frame… The nightmare had begun, and it began with a silent scream.

light dividers by rainbowkisses31

☾ notes: I thought it would be fun to do something a little bit different with a bunch of oc's that belong to my friends and i. I love all these oc's and their creators so much <333

☾ tag list: @rottent33th @damien-mlm @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @the-pinstriped-hood @allthingsblood @25bohemianmoons @essenceproxima

message me if you want to be added to my tag list!

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themomsandthecity · 8 years ago

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Every Baby Name We Could Possibly Think Of

Naming your baby is a big decision, and with endless options, it can also be a difficult one. Whether you're going the traditional route or want something more unique (if so, read this first!) it's helpful to have a little, or a lot, of inspiration. Ahead, you'll find nearly every baby name we could think of (close to 1,000!). These aren't just random names we found in a book or concocted ourselves - they're almost all monikers we've heard being used, or we actually know someone who goes by the name. If we missed any, tell us in the comments! A Aaliyah Aaron Abbie Abel Abigail Abraham Adalyn Adam Addilyn Addison Adelaide Adeline Adley Adora Agatha Aiden Alan Albert Aleph Alexander Alexis Ali Alma Alton Ama Amanda Amaryllis Amber Ameila Amélie Amy Anders Anderson Andrea Andrew Angie Angela Angelica Anika Anna Annalise Anne Annie Ansel Apple April Arata Archie Aria Ariane Ariel Arlee Arlo Arman Arthur Arun Arwen Arya Asha Asher Aspen Atticus Aton Aubrey Audrey August Augustus Aurora Ava Avery Axel Aziz B Bailey Barack Barbara Barney Barry Beatrice Beau Beckett Beckham Becky Ben Benedict Benjamin Bennett Bentley Bernadette Beth Bette Betty Beverly Bexley Bianca Bill Billie Bingham Bishop Bitsie Blake Blue Bobby Bodhi Bonnie Bowie Brady Braelynn Brandon Brayden Brecken Bree Brent Brenton Brett Brian Briana Briar Bridgette Brienne Brig Brigham Brinley Brio Britta Brock Brody Bronwyn Brooklyn Bruno Bryan Byron C Caden Caitlin Caity Cale Caleb Calla Calvin Camari Cameron Camilla Carena Carina Carl Carmel Carol Carrey Carter Cary Casey Caspian Cat Catherine Celine Chandler Chanel Channing Charise Charlene Charles Charlotte Chase Cher Cheri Cheriann Cheryl Chevy Chip Chloe Chris Chrissy Christian Christopher Claire Clara Clark Clary Claudia Clementine Clifford Clint Clinton Clyde Colin Collins Condoleezza Connor Conrad Constance Coolidge Cooper Cora Corban Courtney Cruz Related: 100 of the Most Beautiful Baby Names D Daisy Dale Dallas Damon Dane Danica Daniel Danielle Daphne Darby Darlene Darrel Daryl Dashiell Dave David Davina Davis Davon Dawn Dean Deanna Declan Dekel Delaney Delilah Delta Dennis Denzel Desmond Dev Devon Dexter Diane Dinah Dixie Dixon Dolores Dominique Donald Doris Dorothea Dorothy Dot Duke Duncan Dwight Dylan E Easton Ed Eden Edith Edmund Edward Effie Eleanor Elena Eli Eliana Elijah Elise Elizabeth Ella Elle Ellen Ellerie Ellie Elliott Ellis Elodie Eloise Elora Elroy Elsa Elsie Embry Emerson Emily Emma Emmett Eric Erica Esme Esmeralda Esther Ethan Ethel Eugene Evan Eve Evelyn Everett Evie Ewan Ezra F Farah Fay Felix Ferris Finn Fiona Fisher Fitz Fleur Flint Florence Floyd Flynn Ford Forrest Foster Fox Frances Frank Franklin Frederick G Gabe Gabriel Gaige Gail Gant Garrett Garth Gavin Gem Gemma Gene Genesis Gertrude George Gianna Gibson Gigi Gina Ginger Gladys Glenn Gloria Gordon Grace Grady Graham Grant Grayson Greer Gregory Griffin Grover Gus Gwen Gwyneth H Hadlee Hailey Hal Halle Hank Hannah Harding Harlow Harlyn Harold Harper Harriet Harrison Harry Hart Hartley Harvey Haven Hawk Hawthorne Hayden Hayes Hays Hazel Hector Heath Heather Helen Henley Henry Hillary Honor Holden Holly Holt Hope Hubert Hudson Hugo Humphrey Hunter Hurley Hutton Related: Based Off Last Year's Trends, These 30 Names Will Be Among the Most Popular of 2017 I Ian Ida Idris Ike Imanuel Imogen India Indy Ingrid Inizio Ireland Iris Irvin Isa Isaac Isabella Isabelle Isaiah Isla Israel Ivana Ivory J Jack Jackie Jackson Jacob Jacqueline Jaden Jaelyn Jagger Jake James Jameson Jamie Jane January Jason Jasper Jaun Jax Jaxon Jayce Jayden Jeannette Jed Jeff Jefferson Jenna Jess Jessica Jessie Jill Jillian Joan Joanna Joaquin Joe John Jones Jordan Joseph Josephine Josh Joshua Joslyn Joss Joy Joyce Judith Judy Jules Julia Julian Julie Juliet Julius June Juno Justin K Kai Kaia Kale Kalinda Kane Karah Katharine Kathryn Kate Kay Kaya Kaylee Keanu Keegan Keira Keith Kellan Kelly Kelsey Kendall Kennedy Kevin Khloe Kiah Kiele Kiera Kim Kima Kimberly Kingston Kinsley Kirk Kit Kitty Knox Krista Kristen Kurtis Kyle Kylie L Laith Lake Lana Landon Lane Larissa Larkin Laszlo Laura Lauren Lawrence Layla Leah Lee Leia Leighton Leilani Lena Lennon Leo Leonard Leslie Levi Lewis Leyona Lia Liam Liana Lida Lilith Lillian Lily Lincoln Lindsay Lionel Lisa Lisette Liz Logan Lois Lola London Loretta Lorraine Louella Louise Lucas Lucian Lucille Lucy Luke Luna Lux Lyle Lyndon Lynne Related: 100 Unusual Boy Names M Mabel Mabrey Mac Macallan Mackenzie Macy Madeleine Madelyn Madison Mae Maeby Maggie Mahershala Maia Makena Malcolm Maleeya Malia Mamie Mandy Marabelle Marcus Maren Margaret Margot Mari Maria Mariah Mariam Marilyn Marin Marion Marisole Marisse Marjorie Mark Marlene Marlon Marlowe Martha Martin Mary Mason Matilda Matthew Maui Mavis Maximus Maxson May Maya McKinley Megan Melissa Meredith Merritt Meryl Meyer Mia Michael Michelle Mika Mike Mila Mildred Miles Millie Milo Moana Molly Monica Monroe Montgomery Morgan Moses Muhammad Murray Myles N Nahall Nahla Nancy Nanette Naomie Nasima Natalie Nate Nathan Naveen Naya Neil Neisa Neo Neoma Newt Newton Niall Nicholas Nick Nico Nicole Nicolette Nigel Nile Nimah Nixon Noah Noel Nolan Nora Norma Norman North Nova O Obama Octavia Olly Olive Oliver Olivia Omar Opal Ophelia Ordell Oriana Orion Orlando Orson Orville Oscar Otis Otto Owen P Paige Paislee Paloma Pandora Paris Parker Patrick Patsy Paul Payton Pearl Peggy Penelope Penn Penny Perry Pete Peyton Phillip Phoebe Phoenix Phyllis Pierce Piper Polly Poppy Porter Posey Preston Primrose Priya Prudence Priscilla Q Quaid Quincy Quentin Quinn Quinten R Rachel Radley Rae Ralph Ramsey Rayna Rayne Reagan Rebecca Reese Reeve Reid Reign Remi Renly Rex Rhea Rhett Rhys Richard Rick Riley Ripley River Rivers Rob Robert Robin Rome Romy Ronald Ronin Rooney Roosevelt Rory Rosalind Rosalynn Rosamund Rose Rosemary Ross Rowan Roy Royce Ruby Rue Ruth Rutherford Ryan Ryder Related: 100 Unique Yet Beautiful Girls' Names S Sacha Sage Sahara Saint Sam Samuel Sandra Sandy Sansa Sarah Saul Savannah Sawyer Scarlett Schuyler Scout Sean Sebastian Selena Sena Seymour Shane Shannon Shea Shelly Sherlock Sherry Shiloh Shirley Sia Sidney Sienna Simon Skyler Sloan Sofia Solo Sonia Sophia Sophie Spencer Stacy Stanley Stella Stephanie Sterling Stetson Stuart Sue Sullivan Summer Suri Susan Sylvia T Tabitha Tad Tamera Tamsyn Tanner Tara Tate Taylor Teagan Teddy Terrance Thea Thelma Theordore Theresa Thomas Tim Tina Tinley Toby Todd Tom Tony Travis Travon Trent Trey Tricia Trinity Tripp Tristan Troy Truman Turner Tyler Tyson V Valentina Valentine Vance Vaughan Vaughn Vera Vern Victor Victoria Viggo Vince Vincent Viola Violet Virgil Vivian W Waldo Walker Wallis Walter Warren Watson Waverly Wells Wes Wesley Westley Whitney Will Willa William Willow Wilson Winter Wolfe Wren Wyatt X Xander Xavier Xeno Y Yanet Yani Yigal York Yuma Yvette Z Zachary Zahir Zander Zane Zaylee Zayn Zion Zoe Zola Zooey Zora Zuma Zuri Related: These Are the Most Popular Baby Names of 2016 http://bit.ly/2kR9iwY

#Baby Names

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damien-mlm · 2 years ago

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A storm washes over Ambrose (Red - Part 3)

Warnings: more of Red's backstory, slasher-typical violence, gay stabby man misses bigger stabby man, Ellie and Skulk are mentioned, Percy worries for Darrell, Red gives Bo a literal run for his money

Darrell belongs to @bluecoolr

Skulk belongs to @probably-a-plant-thing

Ellie belongs to @rottent33th

Percy belongs to @the-pinstriped-hood

He was on his third beer when he started feeling the raindrops fall on him. The sky was dark with clouds and the moon was long hidden behind them, must have spaced out again.

He hopped off the trailer and onto the increasingly wet floor, scrambling to get the keys from under the doormat. Rain was on full blast once he got inside.

Red didn't turn any lights on, he just sat on Darrell's bed, drinking and staring into nothingness for what felt like hours.

I miss him

Why? It's only been a day

He'll be back home soon

Why didn't I go again?

Red went through Darrell's drawers and took out a hoodie, it looked comically big on him, but he didn't care. The trailer was dark and cold, but the hoodie and the bedsheets smelled like Darrell. He dressed a pillow with one of Blue's shirts and clung onto it for dear life, he was almost angry at himself for being so sentimental.

Almost.

The harsh smacking of the raindrops on the metal surface of the trailer drowned out his silent cries, and soon lulled him into a deep, exhausted sleep.

Ever since he could remember, the color red was there, haunting and taunting him.

Staining the tiled floors of the bathroom.

Searing hot with rage on his pupils.

Coating his hands in warm slick.

Burning away at the last remnants of his past.

All he could see was red. All of it. Everywhere.

That night, so long ago, when he had decided he'd escape, or die trying. Red.

He was eighteen, old enough to try and fend for himself, and he knew the world wasn't kind but his father was less than so.

Years he spent under his father's helicopter-like monitoring, he had learned to hide himself, who he really was and how he felt, in hopes of survival.

A hurricane was afoot, the power supply was cut to the entire city, so the electric locks on the doors were out of service.

He quietly stuffed a backpack with some clothes, and headed for the safe in his father's study, where he kept most of the money. His father never trusted banks, and he had hit the jackpot with his unconventional ways of psychotherapy. If you could even call them that.

He sat in front of the small safe under the desk, thinking of how the hell he could crack it open, he needed to leave soon. The storm would cover his tracks nicely.

Maybe a date?

A birthday?

His? His mom's?

The day they got married?

After trial and failure, a thought crossed his mind.

Red.

Maybe it's the day she… no… he wouldn't. Right?

He put the date in.

CLICK!

Red.

That sick bastard…

He stuffed all the cash in a trash bag, his hands shaking with anger and hurt. A lightning bolt illuminated the night sky, it almost seemed like it was the middle of the day. For a split second he saw something shine next to the last few wads of cash.

A revolver, next to an unopened box of rounds and a silver letter opener. The gun itself looked like it was never fired.

He took them, of course.

Just then, he heard the old wooden floors creak, making him hunch and hide under the desk.

His father had entered the room, in search of a midnight drink at the liquor cabinet he kept by his books. The boy was so quiet, you couldn't even hear his breath. The storm was loud, but adrenaline had his senses heightened. The sounds of glass and liquid, his own heartbeat, blasting in his ears.

And red behind his eyes. Stinging tears building up, threatening to spill.

Red.

Blinding and all-consuming.

Another flash of light from the sky. He was standing behind his father, silent as a ghost, letter opener in hand. The blade sank onto his father's back the second that thunder erupted. Drowning his screams.

In and out.

Red.

Again and again.

Red.

Staining his hands and his soul.

The blade was dull, but the point was sharp enough. His arms were strong enough. He pierced through cloth, through skin and flesh, over and over again.

Panting, his eyes darted between the liquor bottles and the corpse at his feet. He smashed bottle after bottle, stopping himself at the last one, just to down its contents in one swing.

A lit match was all he needed.

The study was ablaze in a split second, flames devouring everything they touched.

It spread quickly, he soon had to exit the house.

And he stood under the rain.

Out in the storm, he gazed at what was his house, a raging inferno.

Red.

Blinding and all-consuming.

Thunderstruck forced him awake, back to where he was. Surrounded by all things Darrell, except the man himself. Back in the cold darkness of the trailer. Blue's trailer.

Blue…

I miss you…

He looked at his phone, 5 am. He scrolled through his old conversations with Darrell, looking for something. A map to Ambrose, Darrell's friend, Ellie, had sent him.

Fuck it.

Sorry, Skulk…*

Darrell and Percy had just come back after a long day of shopping, the days were shorter at this time of year, and the ongoing storm didn't help.

Red hadn't texted since the previous night, he was worried out of his mind.

"Are you alright, sweet boy?" she asked him, her words laced with concern.

"Yes, Momma. Just thinkin' bout Red, 's all…" his eyes looked out the window.

"Well, I'm sure he's okay. He'll answer you any minute now, I just know it!" she placed a hand on his back.

"Thank you, ma'am. 'Scuse me, please, I need a smoke." he was polite as usual, but a bit too cold to be him. Percy let him on his way.

He lit up his cigarette, standing under the porch awning to shield himself from the water pouring from the sky. He took a long drag before exhaling the smoke out in exasperation.

What if he got in another fight?

Skulk had told him he didn't see Red around all day.

Not in his trailer, nor the cabin.

Not around the bar nor the diner either.

What if he got hurt?

What if he's in the hospital?

What if-

A distant flash caught his eye, not lightning, but a vehicle's headlight, far on the main road of the town. He squinted and catched the sight of a red quad bike, a figure all in black on top, inquiring Bo about something.

Bo pointed towards the house's general direction and he could swear he heard the engine roaring back to life in a split second, the figure fast approaching him while Bo ran behind him, yelling at him to stop in a futile attempt.

Darrell was speechless, his smoke long lost and drowned in rainwater. In less than a minute, the quad bike was in front of him, its driver looking up at him, both chests rising and falling rapidly in heavy, ragged breaths.

He removed his helmet, letting red locks fall free, quickly drenching under the rain. A flushed, desperate look on the one brown eye.

"Hey, Blue… I-... I missed you too much"

*Sorry, Skulk... You'll have to deal with the hogs on your own.

Taglist: @slaasherslut @allthingsblood @ajarofpickledtears @texaschainsawslvt @angxlslasher @kalid-raven @mr-trick

#slasher fandom #slasher community #slasher oc #my oc and not my oc #house of wax #house of wax 2005 #bo sinclair #damon red herring #darrell todd #percy jones #skulk #ellie mason #damon x darrell #red x blue

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damien-mlm · 2 years ago

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@bluecoolr-main Darrel x Red vibes

Honeymoon Phase

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that first time you kissed me

knees deep in a warm creek

on a cool summer evening

your hands they ran from

my neck to my hair

tangled around your fingers

no where to rush,

and nothing else to think about

but that feeling of

the first time you held me

and you told me it felt good

when I caressed your chest

and we talked, for hours

wrapped around each other

so closely and safely and

with no mind of the

early morning ahead,

just that feeling of

the first time I called you baby

and you couldn't hide your blush

knowing that we were each others'

and I asked if you would be

okay with that

and you smiled and said yes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- @05softgemini25

#oc #my oc #but also not my oc #darrell todd #damon ‘red’ herring #damon x darrell #red x blue

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bluecoolr · 2 years ago

Note

Hey Darrell

Has anyone ever told you just how breathtakin' u are?

Your secret admirer

-D.H.

#red buddy you used to work together he knows your initials #darrell todd #ask darrell #damon red herring #red herring #damon x darrell #red x blue #bluecoolr.art #bluecoolr.ask #oc art

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recentnews18-blog · 6 years ago

Photo

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/adam-driver-snl-sketches-ranked-worst-to-first-matt-damons-brett-kavanaugh-pete-davidsons-summer/

Adam Driver 'SNL' Sketches Ranked Worst to First: Matt Damon's Brett Kavanaugh, Pete Davidson's Summer

Adam Driver may have been the host of this premiere, but it kind of felt like musical guest Kanye West got way more attention. Not only did he get his usual two musical spots during the show, he even took over the stage for a third performance at the end.

Meanwhile, Driver really only got a few chances to shine throughout the night. He was in a lot of the sketches, but he was subdued in most of them. His “Career Day” appearance was easily his most over-the-top and it showed how much he’s willing to throw himself into these characters. It was both ridiculous and hilarious.

Kanye was joined by Lil Pump for “I Love It,” but they skipped the boxy suits for bottled water costumes instead. If you thought this song barely worked as a music video, Kanye was basically saying, ‘Here hold my water’ with this performance. It worked much better when he premiered new song “We Got Love” with Teyana Taylor jumping all around the stage. They sounded stronger and the song held together much better.

For a season premiere, many of the sketches felt half-baked, as if they hadn’t quite come together fully, which is crazy. Last season, weeks that allowed this group more than one week to come up with the show were some of their strongest outings, but that just wasn’t the case here. We did enjoy Pete Davidson talking about what he did over the summer.

And we got some sneak peeks into the camaraderie of the cast behind the scenes, which is always fun. They also introduced new featured player Ego Nwodim, but she did virtually nothing this week. We’ll keep an eye on her to see how she grows throughout the season and hopefully finds her voice.

As usual, we’re ranking all the sketches from worst to first, including the Cold Open and the regular “Weekend Update” segments. We’ll skip the musical guests, because they’re not usually funny – unless Ashlee Simpson shows up. We wrap up with a look at the cast-member who had the strongest week.

MONOLOGUE – Adam Driver

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“One huge spoiler about ‘Star Wars’–” Adam Driver said, before getting interrupted by Beck Bennett, who wanted to talk about his summer. That was essentially the thrust of his monologue, the entire cast wanting to gab about their summer and Adam really hating small talk.He suffered through Kenan Thompson and Aidy Bryant, but when Pete Davidson came out, Pete wasn’t interested in sharing. “No, you’re the one person who’s summer I really want to hear about,” Adam said. But that was the end. It wasn’t hugely hilarious, but it was kind of fun watching Adam sear burning hatred into Kenan, who did his classic “Kenan face” in response.

Vermont

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Beck Bennett proposes white people leave and form their own nation, but Adam Driver says there already is a place like that: Vermont. And then the whole sketch just described “white paradise” and how much it looked like Vermont. It never got to be too much or too funny or too silly or even a little over-the-top. It was just white supremacists thinking Vermont sounds really nice. We can’t imagine Vermont loving the sketch, but otherwise it was disappointingly bland.

Fortnite

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We suppose it was inevitable considering how insanely popular it is, but “SNL” went all in on this “Fortnite” sketch. They had Kyle Mooney, Pete Davidson and Adam Driver as players, but we didn’t expect them to bring the characters to life, too, with Mikey Day as Driver’s character, and Chris Redd and Heidi Gardner rounding out the digital cast. Adam played a middle-aged father who’d never played the game before, so that was it. Mikey mimicked the ridiculous things Adam was making him do, while the other guys got irritated until they all died. But at that point, it was a mercy killing. The sketch could have been funny or had a fun twist, but it had that one visual joke and nothing else.

Rad Times at Frat U

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So that was a weird one. A pre-taped sketch of an 80s frat party with constant freezes to drop notes on the screen about what happened to the people after; none of it good. From the innocent, like a guy who was excited to see girls now being married to a man, to the more serious — though never going so far as assault beyond a forced kiss. We thought the sketch was going somewhere with all of this, but it never really did. Clearly a reference to Kavanaugh’s partying days, but it didn’t skate the edge to drive home any sort of point.

Pete Davidson’s Shadow

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If it wasn’t intentional that announcer Darrell Hammond didn’t even say Kyle Mooney’s name during the opening credits, it fed perfectly into this early-show sketch about his insecurities. After Pete Davidson got engaged to Ariana Grande, Kyle Mooney realized he might never get the recognition he so desperately craves on the show in one of his pre-taped introspective videos. These are always weird and funny and awkward, but it’s where we got the sordid saga of his long romance with Leslie Jones, too, so we’re here for it. This time, he decided to solve his invisibility problem by becoming Pete, complete with blonde hair and slacker attitude. But rather than get a pop star to date, he brought out the real Wendy Williams as his girlfriend, complete with a pig. We also got an inside look at how “SNL” handles internal problems, and it is medieval and not pretty.

Weekend Update

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“If you’re drinking a bunch and you keep a calendar, it’s probably to help piece together what’s happening in your life,” Colin Jost said, as he and Michael Che went in on Kavanaugh’s blustery and angry hearing responses, though we don’t think Michael’s “might be” argument quite holds water.

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They saved a few moments to get into some of the other terrifying news of the summer, like that new and absolutely horrifying mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers. Who approved this monstrosity?

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Kate McKinnon then dropped by as Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to comment and fire off some Gins-burns at everyone from Kavanaugh to Republican Senator Jeff Flake, who pushed for an FBI investigation to, as she sees it, protect his ass before he votes yes anyway.

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Out of nowhere, Leslie Jones interrupted as Serena Williams, despite the bit being cut. This kind of banter always helps to bring us deeper into the world of “SNL,” helping us connect to the cast-members behind the characters, and we are here for them. Plus, she did look great.

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Finally, and we all knew it was coming, Pete Davidson dropped by to finally answer the question Adam Driver wanted in the “Cold Open.” How did he spend his summer vacation? Well, we all know the details, but he said he hates all the attention. “It’s Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr. and Pete Davidson. All people who’ve gotten death threats,” he said. When asked about the prenup situation, Pete said he wanted one. “God forbid we break up and she takes half my sneakers.” He then joked he swapped her birth control for Tic-Tacs. “I believe in us and all,” he said. “I just want to make sure she cant go anywhere.”

COLD OPEN – Kavanaugh Hearing

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With no sign of Alec Baldwin’s Trump, we instead got a fresh and energetic exploration of the Kavanaugh hearing, with Matt Damon absolutely killing it as the Supreme Court nominee. “”I’m gonna start at an 11 and I’m gonna take it to a 15 real quick!” he shouted, setting the stage for alternating anger and tears as he cited Kathy Griffin and Ronan “Sinatra” as part of the left-wing conspiracy against him. The Senators were played by a who’s who of the cast (including Rachel Dratch), with Kate McKinnon coming unhinged as Sen. Lindsey Graham, though we’re not sure she has a completely successful take on him yet. It went a little long, but every time Damon was glowering on-screen, we realized we could take just a little bit more. If Kavanaugh is going to stay in the news cycle, here’s hoping Matt is game to keep playing him.

Career Day

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Pete Davidson’s 82-year-old father, played by Adam Driver, brings the fire as an oil baron who crushes his enemy and grinds their bones into the dirt. Turns out the other kids think he’s a lot cooler than either Pete or the teacher (Aidy Bryant). This was absolutely bizarre, but Adam was so committed to his ridiculous, screaming character that we found ourselves as unable to hold it together as Pete and some of the other students. This recurring sketch has always been hit or miss, but when your “parent” character is this ridiculous and played this well, it’s always going to work.

Coffee Taste Test

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We’ve seen this before, where Mikey Day surprises taste-test participants with a product that isn’t nearly as fancy as they think. This time, it was Burger King coffee, and this time it was Adam Driver and Cecily Strong who got to lose their s–t over it. “You fed my wife this garbage, this burger juice?” Adam shouted incensed, while Cecily kept insisting hers must be the fancy coffee. We’re not sure why these are always funny, but it’s how worked up one couple always gets over being fooled, and Cecily was hilariously clueless throughout.

PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Pete Davidson may have been the most anticipated cast-member in this premiere, if just to hear him make jokes about Ariana Grande, and he did not disappoint, but he didn’t really shine beyond his “Weeked Update” appearance. Remarkably, no single cast-member stepped up in a huge way in this very balanced episode.

So we’re going to give it to the cast-member who sold their spotlight sketch the strongest, which narrows it down to Kyle Mooney and Cecily Strong, with the edge going to Cecily for her ridiculously clueless coffee taster. Yes, we know Kate McKinnon gave us Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Lindsey Graham, but we didn’t love her Graham as much as other characters she’s done.

“Saturday Night Live” continues next week with host Awkwafina and musical guest Travis Scott, Saturday at 11:35 p.m. et on NBC.

Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at [email protected].

View Photos Getty ‘The Walking Dead’ Cast Looked Killer at Season 9 Premiere

Source: http://toofab.com/2018/09/30/adam-driver-snl-sketches-ranked-worst-to-first-matt-damons-brett-kavanaugh-pete-davidsons-summer/

0 notes

puddinspumpk1n-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Shows:

Angel

Couples: Angel/Cordelia, Doyle/Cordelia

Characters: Angel, Doyle, Cordelia, Lorne

Arrested Development Characters: Michael

Ash Vs Evil Dead Couples: Ruby/Ashley, Kelly/Pablo Characters: Ashley, Kelly, Pablo, Ruby

Big Love Couples: Bill/Margene Characters: Bill, Margene, Barb

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Couples: Buffy/Spike, Anya/Xander Characters: Anya, Spike, Xander

Chicago Pd Couples: Jay/Erin Characters:Jay, Erin, Voight

Forever Characters: Henry

From Dusk Till Dawn Couples: Seth/Kate, Richie/Santanico Characters: Seth, Richie

Hemslock Grove Characters: Peter, Roman

Justified Couples: Boyd/Ava Characters: Boyd, Raylan

Legends of Tommorrow Couples: Sara/Leonard, Sara/Rip Characters: Sara, Leonard, Rip, Mick, Ray

Once upon a time in Wonderland Couples: Will/Anastacia Characters: Will, Anastacia

Orville Characters: Ed, Gordon, Alara

Ray Dovvan Couples: Ray/Abby Characters: Ray

Revolution Couples: Nora/Miles, Jason/Charlie Characters: Charlie, Miles, Monroe

Riverdale Couples Veronica/Archie Characters: Archie, Veronica, Fp

Roswell Couples Michael/Maria Characters: Michale, Maria, Max

Santa Clartia Diet Couples: Sheila/Joel Characters: Joel

Saving Hope Couples: Alex/Joel Characters: Alex, Joel

Scrubs Couples: JD/Elliot Characters: Turk, JD, Cox

ShadowHunter Characters: Jace, Alec

Smallville Couples: Clark/Lois, Lois/Oliver Characters: Clark, Lois, Oliver, Davis, Zod

Spin City Characters: Mike, Stuart, Carter, Mayor

Supernatural Couples: Dean/Bella Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Crowley

Teen Wolf Couples: Lydia/Stiles, Allison/Scott, Malia/Scott Characters: Malia, Lydia, Stiles, Derek, Allison

The Flash Couples: Barry/Caitlin Characters: Caitlin

The Originals Couples: Hayley/Klaus, Camille/Klaus Characters: Elijah, Klaus

The Vampire Diaries Couples: Caroline/Stefen Characters: Caroline, Damon, Stefen

The Walking Dead Couples: Maggie/Glenn Characters: Darrell, Maggie, Jesus, Negan

This Is us Couples: Jack/Rebecca, Kate/Toby, Characters: Jack, Kevin

True Blood Couples: Bill/Sookie, Jason/Jessica Characters: Eric, Bill, Jason, Jessica

Westworld Couples: William/Dolores Characters: Teddy

X-files Couples: Scully/Mulder Characters: Mulder, Scully

Animation:

American Dad

Archer

Bobs Burgers

Danny Phantom

Family Guy

Futurama

Inuyasha

Movies:

Everything Disney

Rise of the Guardians

Everything Dc & Marvel

Sucide Squad: _Joker&Harley are Love

Actors:

Alexander Skarsgard

Ben Affleck

Bill Paxton Billy Burke

Bruce Campbell

David Lyon (My True Love)

Channing Tatum

Chris Pine

Chris Pratt

Christian Bale

Daniel Gillies

David Broenaz

David Duchovny

David Tennant

Dominic Purcell

Dylan O'Brien

Greg Kinnear

Ioan Gruffudd

James Marsden

Jason Bateman Jeremy Renner

John Cusack

Jon Hamm

Liev Shrider

Jude Law

Karl Urban

Keanu Reeves

Landon Liborion

Leonardo Dicaprio

Mark Paul- Gosselaar

Mark Wahlberg

Matt Damon

Michael J Fox

Milo Ventimiglia

Norman Reedus

Paul Rudd

Paul Walker

Robert Downey Jr.

Ryan Reynolds

Sam Worthington

Sebastian Stan

Seth Mcfarlane

Shane West

Skeet Ulrich

Setephen Dorff

Timothy Olyphant

Tom Cruise

Tom Hiddleston

Tom Payne

Tom Riley

Tyler Hoechlin

Walter Goggins

Actress:

Ali Larter

Alice Eve

Amanda Peet

Bryce Dallas Howard

Caity Lotz

Christina Ricci

Crystal Reed

Elizabeth Olsen

Emma Rigby

Emma Stone

Erica Durance Ginnifer Goodwin Holland Roden Isla Fisher

Jennifer Lopez

Jessica Alba

Kate Beckinsale

Katie Cassidy Mandy Moore

Margot Robbie

Megan Fox

Milla Kunis

Neve Campbell

Rachel Mcadams

Shelley Henning

Sophia Bush

Summer Glau

Crossover

Alex/Henry - (Saving Hope & Forever)

Dean/Lois - (Supernaturl & Smallville)

Hook/Marian (OUAT/ Beyound Sherwood Forest)

Alara/Kirk - (Orville & Star Trek)

*Original Character Protrayed by (Neve Campbell & Mark Wahlberg)

Jack & Elsa **Rise of the Guardians & Frozen** (Protrayed by Chris Pine and Margot Robbie) Malia/Jace (Teen Wolf & ShadowHunters)

Brian/*Orignal Character (Fast and the Furious / Emma Rigby)

Dominic/Regina (Fast and the Furious / Once upon a time)

Monroe/Original Character (Revolution & Erica Durance)

Lydia Martin/ Peter Parker (Teen Wolf/Spiderman *Adrew*)

Tony Stark/ Loki (Avengers)

Wanda/Peter (Avengers/Guardians of the Galaxy)

0 notes

bluecoolr · 2 years ago

Text

@cries-in-latino Red texting be like

[insert your slasher blorbo here]

#damon red herring #red herring #darrell todd #darrell and red #red x blue #friends oc #slasher oc

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

Text

6 Hilariously Improbable Events That Resulted In Huge Movies

Hey, remember that Final Destination franchise from all the way back in 2011? You know, it’s the one where a clowder of hapless teens get hunted by Death through a series of overly elaborate, Rube Goldberg-style horrors. Well, it turns out that sometimes this same over-the-top domino effect can be applied to how films get made (including Final Destination, which started as an X-Files spec script). A butterfly flaps its wings in Beijing, and Jeff Goldblum ends up shirtless on a table in Hollywood, basically.

Some films end up creating a gigantic ripple of success and artistic inspiration … all from a single unassuming start. Here are such times when the road to the cinematic immortality was paved with random nobodies, stupid coincidences, and just plain dumb luck…

The Alien Franchise Exists Because Of Literal Nightmares

From the creature design to the directing, the first Alien has always been a poster child for the unspeakable horrors you can accomplish through collaborative effort. With that in mind, none of it would have been possible without writers Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett first coming up with the story. They are the face-huggers to Alien‘s uh… alien. This was O’Bannon’s second film as a screenwriter, one that would have never existed without the frustrating failure of his first.

Dark Star was a John Carpenter sci-fi comedy about people exploding planets in space, and O’Bannon hadn’t simply written it, but also designed and supervised the special effects. It was this (not his writing) that got the attention of weirdo director Alejandro Jodorowsky, who at the time was working on an ultimately shelved Dune film. O’Bannon was brought on Dune‘s production where he met a creepy Swiss artist working on the film’s set and character design. His name was H.R. Giger, and you might find his work on Dune a bit familiar.

To put this guy in perspective — upon their initial introduction, H.R. Giger immediately offered O’Bannon opium. And when asked why he himself took it, Giger bleakly responded “I am afraid of my visions.” If Werner Herzog had night terrors, it would be personified in H.R. Giger’s ghastly Scandinavian gaze. His paintings are what Satan uses to get an erection.

Dune was sci-fi failure #2, and after production was closed down O’Bannon found himself running out of work, and consequently money (which is commonly a thing you get in exchange for work). In what was no doubt an act of pre-hooking desperation, he and Shusett dug up yet another old failure — a story about monsters attacking a WWII bomber (which later became a segment in the 1981 animated “film” Heavy Metal — a series of events we’ve previously discussed).

Like some kind of mad scientist, O’Bannon spliced this story with another failed horror script about bug monsters, added a re-written scene from Dark Star, and somehow churned out Alien. Meanwhile, H.R. Giger was developing a terrifying artistic portfolio based on his childhood nightmares — one example being a painting called “Necronom IV.”

That’s one of two nightmares that will come into play, this first fruition appearing in an H.R. Giger art book that O’Bannon gave to Ridley Scott while developing Alien. Nightmare number two came from Shusett who, after a day of writing, woke up in the middle of the night with the idea that the alien could impregnate a crew member through their throat — meaning that nearly every aspect of these creatures was quite literally the stuff of nightmares.

You Can Thank The 2003 California Gubernatorial Recall Election For HBO’s Westworld

In the early 2000s, California underwent an energy crisis, presumably after everyone left their tanning bed on overnight. As bills tripled and the anger grew, a representative named Darrell Issa donated two million dollars to a small group collecting signatures for a gubernatorial recall. It was this money that boosted their efforts in a historic moment for the United States: a new Westworld TV show.

We should probably explain.

HBO “Yes, please. I don’t know what the fuck’s going on in this show.” — Anthony Hopkins

See, after successfully reaching enough signatures, it was the actually historic recall of Governor Gray Davis that sparked one of the weirdest elections ever — eventually boiling down to this veiny cup of whatever Austrians drink instead of water:

Playboy And by “ever” we mean “before 2016,” of course.

Arnold Schwarzenegger threw his hat into the governor ring and came out with a whopping 48.6 percent of the vote. This was in October of 2003, and along with shaping the future of California, it panicked a butt-ton of producers who had previously attached the hulky destroyer to upcoming films. One such producer was Jerry Weintraub, who had cast Arnold as the Yul Brynner role in an upcoming remake of that enduring ’70s sci-fi cowboy classic, Westworld. As we’re sure you can guess, this did not end up happening, and the project was shelved indefinitely — or in producer-speak, “until someone big enough shows interest in it.” That took two years.

Variety “We’ll begin shooting in 2008 with Heath Ledger, Bernie Mac, Anna Nicole Smith, and President Gerald Ford.”

In 2005, Weintraub once again set his sights on this ridiculous film — this time with the director of The Cell attached. This, unsurprisingly, did not make Westworld the exciting filmmaking opportunity that studios were scrambling over, and so Jerry moved on to another project while letting his baby degrade on the back burner. That project was a little TV movie about Liberace starring Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, and Matt Damon’s glittery thong.

In the biggest plot twist yet, the HBO-made Douglas/Damon smooch-fest was a hit… causing Weintraub to turn to the network for a Westworld series. The rest is excessively naked history. And hey, Schwarzenegger is finally available now, so maybe they can throw him a bone and cast him as a background extra or something.

We Wouldn’t Have The Entire Marvel Cinematic Universe If It Wasn’t For Superman: The Movie

It turns out a DC Comics movie is responsible for Marvel’s current cinematic dominance, but not in the way you’re probably thinking. This long goddamn journey starts with a producer named Lauren Shuler Donner, whose husband you might recognize as Richard Donner — director of such insanely diverse hits as The Goonies, The Omen, and of course, 1978’s Superman: The Movie.

Superman was a hit, but this didn’t instantly result in every single over-pantsed defender getting his own movie — remember, it would take over a decade for even Batman to get one. However, the Donner flick did nab the attention of a five-year-old named Kevin who, like five-year-olds tend to do, became enamored with this genre of mighty punchers. His fandom eventually turned into a job at the Donners’ Company as Lauren’s assistant. As she puts it, “one of the main reasons Kevin managed to get himself an intern position at our company was because of Superman: The Movie, [that freaking nerd].”

Lauren went on to make a few disaster films, like Volcano and the harrowing You’ve Got Mail, before becoming inspired by her husband’s action background and buying the rights to the X-Men franchise in 1994. Feeling his intense ray of nerdiness, she gave her then-assistant Kevin a producing role on the first X-film, where he instantly became “a walking encyclopedia of Marvel.” Usually that just makes you very good at internet message board arguments, but in Kevin’s case, it led him to this:

That’s right. It’s Kevin Feige — not Bacon as you were all no doubt guessing. Having been inspired by that first Superman film, Feige beelined directly to the Donners before getting thrown into X-Men and scooped up by Marvel. It was there that he continued to read an endless number of comics and work closely with directors making Spider-Man, X2, and Daredevil until 2005, when Marvel decided to make their own studio. In 2007, Kevin was named the chief of that studio and began to develop what would go on to be this jumbled mess of media:

The Marvel Cinematic Universe gave way to an entirely new method for making movies, now being applied to Star Wars, Lego, and even the goddamn The Mummy. It’s completely changed franchises and made a once-bankrupt Marvel Studios the hottest goddamn game in town… all ironically thanks to a fucking DC Comics movie. Thanks a bunch, you sulky jerks!

A Mailing Error By A Fresno Librarian Kicked Off The “Brat Pack” Era

All you Val-speaking, Atari-playing, AIDS-epidemic-ignoring ’80s kids no doubt perk up at the mention of the “Brat Pack,” but in case you’re scratching your supple 20-something heads, we’re referring to a group of young actors who swarmed Hollywood around the early 1980s. Luminaries like Rob Lowe, Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and all those The Breakfast Club motherfuckers were birthed from this era. The phrase “Brat Pack” was coined in a New York article, and became the soil in which a lot of pretty careers were cultivated.

Also, it was started by this lady:

Her name is Jo Ellen Misakian, and back in 1972 she was hired as a librarian aide at the Lone Star School in Fresno, California. While there, she noticed that the naturally reading-averse students all loved the same book, so she helped them start a petition to turn it into a movie. After attempting (and failing) to contact the author, Jo Ellen decided to just take a shot in the dark and mail the book to a known director instead. The book, by the way, was The Outsiders — the basis for the very first of the Brat Pack films, which kicked off the stellar careers of actors like Cruise, Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Patrick Swayze, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, that other guy, and that other other guy.

And this never would have existed as a film if it wasn’t for Mrs. Misakian, her plucky kid pals, and the fact that she totally fucked up mailing their petition.

You see, after deciding Francis Ford Coppola should direct the movie, Misakian found his New York address in the reference section of the Fresno library and mailed a copy of the petition there — but Coppola was living in Los Angeles at the time. The New York address was outdated and unused… and, consequently, got very little mail. However, it just so happened that Coppola was in New York that week, and was able to personally see the letter for that reason.

According to a producer there at the time, “It was lucky for the kids that we were in New York when it was sent over.” Eventually, Coppola read the attached book, optioned it, and then began production on the film, all while maintaining a correspondence with the librarian who first sent it to him.

In the end, the film was attributed to Misakian and her class — the closing credits saying, “The film The Outsiders is dedicated to the people who first suggested that it be made — librarian Jo Ellen Misakian and the students of The Lone Star School in Fresno, California.” The Brat Pack was born, and like a thousand careers started… all because a librarian sucked at tracking down someone’s more-current address.

Jurassic World And The New Star Wars Got Their Director From A Silly ’90s Magazine Ad

After culturally blue-balling us with talking raptors, the Jurassic Park franchise re-exploded the box office with Jurassic World‘s $1.6 billion dollars in ticket sales. World will go on to get a sequel (obviously), and the director is now working on Episode IX of Star Wars. And oddly enough, it was back in the decade when the first Jurassic Park became a hit (and we all thought Star Wars prequels would be, like, the raddest shit ever) that an author named John Silveira was inadvertently shaping all these events, like a secret John Hammond.

Back in the ’90s, Silveira would occasionally submit content for Backwoods Home Magazine. His job was to fill in gaps of the magazine’s classified section with whatever joke bullshit that came into his head. It was a fun gig with a specific and sparse readership, by definition.

Then, one day in 1997, Silveira was asked to contribute right before a deadline (what kind of backwoods magazi– oh, right). Without any prepared jokes, he remembered the opening lines to an old unfinished novel he had been working on years back. With the clock ticking, John spun the words into a fake classified ad and submitted the following:

Yes. That ad. Silveira had created what would later become a meme that would inspire Colin Trevorrow to make an indie film called Safety Not Guaranteed, about a dude looking for a time-travel partner. Not long after, director Brad Bird was being approached by Disney and Lucasfilm to direct the next Star Wars film — and in turning it down for Tomorrowland (yikes), Bird recommended they watch Trevorrow’s little movie.

In short, two major sci-fi franchises ended up being completely dependent on an indie comedy director who was inspired by some joke-writing weirdo in Southern California. And speaking of stuff Spielberg once touched…

Like Schindler’s List And The Coen Brothers? You Can Thank The Evil Dead For That

It’s not exactly controversial to say that the Coen Brothers are two of the most influential and iconic directors of this era. We also probably won’t get any hate mail for praising Liam Neeson’s performance in Schindler’s List, or really any of his subsequent roles. What will sound insane, however, is that all of these things are of direct result of the 1981 horror film The Evil Dead. You know, the one where a woman gets fucked by trees before turning into a Kandarian basement demon.

It was on this film that a young Joel Coen was working as an assistant editor while trying to make his debut with a script he co-wrote with his brother. While there, director Sam Raimi convinced the Coens to shoot a fake trailer for their script, which subsequently led to them finding investors for the movie — eventually called Blood Simple. You might recognize this as the pivotal moment leading to decades of amazing films like The Big Lebowski, No Country For Old Men, The Hudsucker Proxy, and certainly not Garfield (common mistake).

Meanwhile, while casting Blood Simple, the brothers went to see a play called Crimes Of The Heart. It featured Holly Hunter, who they immediately wanted to cast… but couldn’t, for scheduling reasons. However, Hunter went home from the audition and mentioned the film to her roommate: Frances McDormand. Frances, of course, would go on to kick ass in the role, marry Joel Coen, and play one of the most badass baby-ovens to ever point a gun at Peter Stormare.

And it gets weirder. Because while Holly didn’t get the role in Blood Simple, she would later move into a Silverlake home with both Coen brothers, McDormand, and Raimi — who at the time was writing Evil Dead II on the porch. Cut to a few years later, and a young actor named Bill Paxton got a phone call from his friend James Cameron asking if he had heard of Evil Dead II. When Paxton said no, Mr. Titanic rushed him to a local showing, as any loyal friend would. After falling in love with Raimi’s slapstick horror style, B-Pax auditioned for the director’s follow-up, Darkman. You with us so far?

According to Paxton (who later worked with Raimi on A Simple Plan), while he got super close to landing the role, he “made the mistake” of informing another friend about the movie as well. It was Liam Neeson.

Neeson got the role and killed it as the titular rubber-faced rage goon in Darkman, which was then seen by a stage actress named Natasha Richardson. At the time, Richardson was putting together a production of Anna Christie, and thanks to Darkman, she pursued Neeson to play a role. Not only would his performance in the show end in a marriage with Richardson, but it would grab the attention of a director in the audience… who at the time was casting an upcoming film called Schindler‘s Fucking List.

YEP. Liam Neeson’s entire career exploded because Bill Paxton was dragged to a screening of Evil Dead II and fell in love. Consider this yet another reason he’s going to be deeply missed. RIP, you ultimate badass.

David is an editor and columnist for Cracked. Please direct all your goddamn “hellos” to his Twitter account.

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