#damn you willbond

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

I am sobbing

Just realised that Havers touches Cap's hand and keeps it down a bit to stop Cap from touching his face because of where they were and whom they were surrounded by

Fuck, that must have been so terrible for both of them.

Maybe that's why Havers was guiding Cap to grab the stick.

At least him grabbing the swaggerstick gave Havers the official excuse to touch his hands without adding too much suspicion.

[flynnandsteel]

THERE IS NO WAY

I just made the connection that the song they line dance to in episode 5 is "achy breaky heart",

and that this happens directly after the Captains death scene...

He died of a heart attack trying to see the man he loved.

HE LITERALLY HAD AN ACHY BREAKY HEART WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME???

[stewupdate]

Richard: If you could go into a chrysalis, dissolve, and come out as anything you wanted what would you come out as?

Larry: Ben Willbond... weirdly. I'd like to know what thats like. A lot of it would be sitting opposite of me and getting hit on. (at Ben) Mainly because you never quite know what to do...

[crudetautology]

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (1979) - Smiley. - Jim. - If you're not on your own I swear I'll break your neck.

[sassy1121]

i have to fly cross-country in may and the last time i was on an airplane i had a panic attack and almost refused to get on the last leg to actually get home, so instead of spiraling in anxiety for months every time i see or think about an airplane, i decided to make up a guy.

this guy's name is gary and he flies all the damn time. he flies... to newark. every two weeks. for work. what is his job? i'm so glad you asked. his job is office. meetings, spreadsheets. quarterly figures, etc. he flies so often that he spends the entire time he's at the airport and the entire time he's on the plane in a constant state of only boredom and annoyance. he has heard every single noise a plane can possibly make. he has felt every bit of turbulence or rough landing possible, and he remains, as ever, bored and annoyed.

every time i see an airplane, instead of thinking "UGH I HATE AIRPLANES THEY MAKE NO SENSE", i make up another fact about gary. gary never uses his vacation days. gary probably needs reading glasses but he's too stubborn to buy some so his excel spreadsheets are always zoomed in really big. gary looks exactly like the worst photo of ben willbond you've ever seen. gary used to love rollercoasters but rollercoasters are for kids, and he gets a thrill at the feeling of the airplane lifting off the ground that is so repressed that it's a secret even to himself -- as far as he knows he's just glad they're finally getting underway because he has meetings to get to. gary has two kids whose names he barely knows. gary is the worst and he is absolutely going to neurodivergently get me through this.

[susieskinner93]

no I still can't move on from that reunion.... Havers telling him that he knows what the Cap wanted to say????? ahhhh they deserved a happy ending, honestly that scene broke my heart DAMN YOU WILLBOND!!!

[natjennie]

the god damn reveal that the stupid fucking stick was havers' the whole fucking time. ben willbond you are sick in the head.

[gudsouplady]

Watching Ghosts S1,E3 - Happy death day (spoilers)

I’m FINALLY back to Tumblr,after scheduling made it impossible to find time to do this. So now it will mainly be weekly posts now or maybe posts that are drafted and posted during the week. so I hope you enjoy this review :)

• Pat’s Summer camp

• Why did the kid shoot Pat ????

• PAT DYING IS MAKING ME SAD

• Why are the kids just staring at Pat dying ????? Help him

• He drove the bus into a tree 🚍 🌳

• The intro is spectacular ✨

• This episode was written by Ben Willbond (The Captain)

• Mike stop snoring and get up !!!!!!

• I LOVE THIER RELATIONSHIP!!!!!

• Robin playing chess by himself

• Poor Robin just wants to play chess

• The builders have started

• Thomas is such a drama queen

• ALISON DOSEN’T WANT YOU, THOMAS

• “He’s got the hots for Alison” I love Julian

• “Damn Your Eyes”

• Kitty is too pure to learn about that ????

• NOOOO NOT MORE MONEY !!!!!!

• It’s Pat’s death day tomorrow :(

• Thomas taking a poetic approach as per usual

• Don’t interrupt Thomas like that ????

• The ghosts have come up with a plan

• The plan has backfired 2 seconds after its was planned

• We can all see how Pat died

• Pat is considering his family

• Why would Pat’s wife remarry especially to her dead husband’s friend ???? Pat’s energy is irreplaceable

• His wife was having an affair :(

• Mike fell over

• Mary get out the shower

• The plan started again but failed

• Alison almost killed Terry

• The poem is working

• Don’t let Fanny teach kitty

• The plan worked

• Fanny isn’t happy

• Pat don’t tell Alison to kill your ex wife!

• Robin,Pat and Thomas are actually a good trio

• I want Robin to be my therapist

• No one should be teaching Kitty

• Alison is actually being nice

• Thomas found inspiration

• Mary almost killed Alison

• The plan worked

• Mary just wasted Alison’s time

• She can’t find the ring

• “Just a couple of chaps in the library”

• The captain is such a gay icon and I love it 🏳️‍🌈

• Am I the only one who thinks that Alison is in the right for the toolboxes to be searched

• The found the ring

• Pat’s family are here

• Alison is such a nice person

• Pat has a grandson !!!!!!

• Don’t walk to the light

• Pat is an awkward bean

• Kitty now knows

• Instead of using the song as inspiration, Thomas stole the song

• “What is a Kylie min-ohg ????”

• Thomas is now devastated

• The ghosts are gathered in one room

• I rate this episode a 10/10 because I loved it so much that I almost cried happy tears

[an-honest-puck]

a collection of highlights and viewing notes from 'Fools' because I don't have the time to liveblog while watching but I do have thoughts

HUMPHREY CAUSING MISCHIEF?!?!!?! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!! <333

~and other bbc ghosts s5 ep1 spoilers ahoy!~

I love that Larry is the lone writer of this ep and Humphrey therefore gets to have the spotlight XD

fr tho, watching Humphrey giving Alison ideas was so deliciously cheeky and fun to watch!!!

that one camera movement where Humphrey plays the angel and devil on Alison's shoulders was *chef's kiss* brilliantly well played!!!

when the Captain realises that Alison's picking them off one by one and then immediately falls for her prank lmao

look! they let Ben run in the woods again! huzzah! he must have been so pleased they let him lol

we love a Ben Willbond take on the classic "clever girl" line 👌🏼

Thomas's prank was absolutely ruthless but the little shit (mostly affectionate) deserves it LMAO

actually as a sidenote, with any other characters (or perhaps in another show lol) this is potentially a rather romantic scene lol

but yeah nah the little shit deserved it XD

I love when the Captain describes Alison's 'next victim' as being "guileless, gullible, open-hearted to a fault" (patcaps stans were fed with this line alone lol) and cutting to Pat, as if Cap isn't sitting in the room with the most gullible ghosts of the crew- i.e., himself, Thomas, and Kitty XD

I'm sorry but Pat reacting to Alison's first attempt at pranking him by pulling out the word 'veracity' and how he describes how to cross-check your facts????? king shit XD

but also, that was lowkey the most intimidating thing I've ever seen Pat do wtf?! like the way he says "I'd hate for you to have the wool pulled over your eyes." and then the "ok?" freakyyyy lol

oh Julian you nincompoop lol I love all the time Alison's invested in these pranks btw- like making that video and somehow rigging something up on a laptop so that when Julian clicks the specific button, the video starts playing? is there an app for that or is that just Alison flexing some coding skills??? XD (I am personally fully on board the 'Alison flexes her coding skills' train lol)

0/2, Cap is not making any good calls in this ep XD

my fam and I like to play the game 'how many takes?' and that scene where Alison tries the finger-chop gag and Pat gives her a talking to is prime fodder for that game XD

ayo, gotta give a shoutout to the B-plot of Mike with the insurance investigator for recapping the end of season 4 because I was rusty tbh lmaooo

Fanny's two-part-prank was so good but also gotta love the permanency of permanent marker XD

OMG Humphrey's idea for Robin's prank - i.e. Larry just talking to himself LMAO but the way Humphrey showed Alison his plan was so deliciously devious XD

"DAMN YOU, COOPER!"

yo the way the A-plot and B-plot crash into each other is hysterical XDD

Alison, caught red-handed lighting a fire: *in the most level voice I've ever heard come out of Charlotte Ritchie's mouth* Hi, I'm Alison-

"Sorry. Sick in a bush..."

good onya, Joy Kielty! you da real one! and props to the soundtrack composers for that beautiful little piano interjection :')

ah man almost got all of them...

BUT OH MY DAYS SHE PREG-AN-NANT!?!!?!?! I can't believe the fandom was right on that one!!!!!! I'm anxious for her!!!!! pregnancies are scary!!!!! (I mean, I'm probably projecting because a friend of mine is pregnant and currently dealing with all the appointments, equipment, and physical symptoms of pregnancy, but still!!! growing new life is hard!!!!)

very very interested to see where them there are going with this...

but anyways this is a Larry episode and so of course the last word comes from Humphrey:

"did we get him?"

(my poor boi, someone pls pick him up :') )

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #604

Top Ten Ghosts from Ghosts

This week sees the final series of the superlative Ghosts, and that’s a sentence with more alliteration than I’d expected when it began. It kind of got away from me a little bit there, but I shall attempt to wrangle the wrest of my writing into order.

Or something.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Ghosts. It’s pretty great. It’s a typical British comedy about people trapped in a situation they can’t escape and forced to share their lives with other people they would ordinarily avoid, and end up developing into a loving surrogate family over time, but without any of the wishy-washy stuff an American version of the sitcom would probably force onto the plot. Where Ghosts excels is in both its writing and its performances; it’s genuinely hilarious, which is nice, but the cast are also gifted actors capable of bringing out the warmth and humanity even in the dodgiest or flimsiest of characters. Plus it makes the most of its setting, giving us classic horror tropes and – emerging by degrees – its own brand of supernatural lore, with the ghosts all longing to be “sucked off”.

And now the end is near, and I can’t help but feel there’s going to be something really heartbreaking about it. I think it will feel like one last goodbye to old friends. Although I kinda thought that about Guardians 3 and James Gunn basically decided “everybody lives” and gave all the Guardians their own happy ending (which isn’t the same as being sucked off).

So to celebrate this momentous occasion – and because it’s a great way to kick off the spooky season – I’m now going to rank my favourite spooks in a sitcom; my favourite poltergeists in a programme; my favourite ghosts in Ghosts. Good, eh?

Julian (Simon Farnaby): it’d be very easy for Julian to be a one-note joke; a lecherous and corrupt Tory MP who died in a sex scandal and has to spend the afterlife with no trousers. But Julian is allowed all kinds of subtleties and nuances; despite his multiple vices, his care for his fellow ghosts (and living humans) frequently bubbles up, as does an occasional bubble of regret over his life choices. It’s a really slow-burn, empathetic development of character, as Julian is really still rather reprehensible; but we love him and want him to succeed. And that one-note joke is just persistently funny.

Robin (Laurence Rickard): a caveman whose guttural pidgin utterances can be the source of great amusement; as can the contrast between his prehistoric values (he appears to have married his sister) and the present day. But again it’s a character full of nuance; he’s much smarter and more sensitive than he first appears. And he’s really funny, with a terrific makeup job.

Pat (Jim Howlick): an over-earnest Scouts leader with an arrow through his neck, my love for Pat isn’t really based on nuanced empathy or slowly unpeeling layers of development; he’s pretty much all there day one. But he’s so damn funny, a tour-de-force from Howlick as this organisational nerd, a nice guy determined to keep everyone happy. Probably has the funniest death scene. “You don’t want to see this in your dreams.”

The Captain (Ben Willbond): an uptight, overwound British officer, all stiff upper lift and starched sheets, with an almost Melchett-level Tasche. There’s a lot of fun and nuance right there, but it’s the Captain’s closeted nature that elevates him even higher; the tragedy of his repressed life and the double tragedy that now, about eighty years after he died, he still can’t be honest about himself. Yes, it’s sad, but it’s an informed and beautiful sadness that has something to say. And sometimes it’s really funny too.

Kitty (Lolly Adefope): I could talk again about how Kitty has shades and subtleties that are slowly teased by the writing and performance as the show has developed, but really Kitty’s here because Adefope is damn funny. An almost stupidly naïve character, fantastically childlike, an innocent soul in search of a sister. She’s just great.

Fanny (Martha Howe-Douglas): from comically naïve to comically repressed, Fanny is a puritanical matriarch for whom nothing is good enough and everything is filthy. Of course, this is all mask and projection, and like most of the ghosts here she had a rather tragic life that shaped her death. It’s this juxtaposition between the passions that enflame her (she fancies Kiell Smith-Bynoe’s Mike) and her snotty demeanour that brings the funny. Plus it’s a simply transformative performance.

Mary (Katy Wix): Mary is far more down-to-earth, from her broken malapropism-riddled Black Country dialogue to her matter-of-fact allusions to the more red-blooded facts of medieval life. His sets her apart from a lot of the more repressed characters, and her misunderstandings and failures to grasp modern concepts are also really funny. She also has the terrific hook of having been burnt at the stake.

Thomas (Mathew Baynton): surprisingly low down really, for such a great character and performance. Vainglorious lovesick poet Thomas wanted to be Byron but was shot down (literally) in his prime. His flowery dialogue, his inappropriate pining for Charlotte Ritchie’s Alison, and the frequent gulfs between his ideals and aspirations and the harsh reality of his life and death are all sources of great humour.

Sir Humphrey (Laurence Rickard): a more minor character than others, but a great one. Again it’s basically one gag writ large, as Humphrey had his head cut off and so his ghost is likewise decapitated; his body frequently losing his noggin (or vice versa, I suppose). Humphrey’s head’s grumpy but resigned demeanour when faced with always getting misplaced or lost or put down in the wrong place is priceless. Also: props to Rickard for two great roles here.

The Plague Victims: pretty much all the cast return as the ghosts of an entire village laid low by the plague, destined to spend eternity stuck in a cellar together. That’s all nice and hilarious of course, but the way they’ve become experts on their tiny world (teaching Alison and Mike how to repair the boiler) and their various interactions with the ghosts on the floors above are doubly, triply terrific.

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

Lieutenant Havers appreciation post: three four times he smiled at the Captain while his eyes said it all

Updating this one after two years because Cap died loved

Again an amazing portrayal by Peter Sandys Clarke

[crudetautology]

The A Perfect Spy trailer set to Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien that's playing in my head is super, actually.

[fandomsmeantheworldtome]

Walter the plague ghost

[scribeartistjo-tan]

This is the last we see of Mike Peabody, S4E10. He's not in S5 at all.

Does this imply he burned to death with the witch? :'c

[lenny-shambles]

1- it’s so hard to narrow it down and tomorrow it could be something different but series 5 sits so close to my heart. Idk why but it was the first the really gripped me and every episode is magical

2- Greg. Don’t get me wrong Alex is great too but outside of the show Greg seems a little more down to earth and how he can continue to simply talk about comedians doing random things and it still be that funny astounds me

3- I’ve seen every episode of Taskmaster UK at least 10 times. It’s a combination of adhd and being too scared to do much else but hey, never gets old

4- “The bastard’s crying innit”. Tragically sublime and perfectly timed. Although I don’t know what officially qualifies as a ‘book of taskmaster quote’ there are many others I love and I could have a different favourite if I could think of one

5- A song for a stranger had to be my favourite task. It tied off and summed up series 5 perfectly. The diverse stripes genuinely made a great song and when it played as the credits rolled I was genuinely in tiers

6- a real hard question because there are so many to choose from but perhaps the musical task in series 7 where they have to compose a minute of music with the help of that band. It’s a creative task with no restrictions. It looks on the surface to be fun and freeing for someone so musically inept

7- Fuck It! I want to see Mike Wozniak complete every task in taskmaster history until he either finishes them all like a good boy or passes out from exhaustion!

8- although I was late to the party and dipped out a bit, I follow Taskmaster New Zealand quite closely. Always been a fan of nz comedy and most things New Zealand

9- no. There’s not much to say here. I watched hometasking on YouTube but not regularly and didn’t ever really think of doing it myself

10- it’s not really a special but I have a dream line up of past contestants. It consists of James Acaster, Mike Wozniak, Rose Matafeo, Paul Chowdhry and Victoria Coren Mitchel. All chosen because how different each of their energies are

11- Ben Willbond, Cariad Lloyd, Dian Morgan, Karl Pilkington and Richard Ayoade. All absolute characters and a chaotic energy. It’s a line up that sticks to the demographic and dynamic that the show uses most while still having the odd wild card in there

12- I normally only listen to episodes of the TM podcast if it has my favourite contestants on it. In terms of adjacent pods then I suppose I listen to a number of podcasts by taskmaster alumni with my favourite being Three Bean Salad with, you guessed it, Mr Wozniak

13- The fields and inland beaches visited in series 5 always appealed to me. I remember finding out they’re not far from London and planning a day trip there so yeah

14- the living room. Damn that house has seen some crazy shit but when you compare the different living room designs between series 1 and a newer series, you can’t help but be wowed with how all-out they go in it now

15- Sean Gibson Is my unpopular opinion. I’m sure she’s a lovely person and It’s a shame but she just kept annoying me. Something about her just continuing to do the tasks even after losing I guess. I know it’s petty but I just found her to be too squeaky at times

16- it’s probably obvious but MIKE! Every second of his existence inexplicably brings joy to my heart. I want to eat his moustache. Having said that I also love Wumar (mark and nish together) and Rose Matafeo

17- series 12 is my least favourite but still had delightful contestants and the wow monster nearly killed me with how hard I laughed. What can I say, I know it’s a cop out but series 5 should have been longer! I really can’t think of anything else bad about it

18- the 60s/70s hippie aesthetic of series 15 was absolutely glorious. Also the M.C Escher portrait of Greg from series 6 is very cool

19- I remember seeing an episode of series 2 when it was first on and liking it. I went to watch the next episode but being a dum dum I thought it was a like a normal panel show where the contestants are different each episode but no. Because of this I though I kept accidentally putting the same episode of series 2 on and it took me until series 4 to regularly watch it

20- Mike Wozniak jumping the fence was my bi-enlightening and I refuse to elaborate

Taskmaster Ask Game!

Favourite series?

Greg or Alex?

Have you seen every episode?

Favourite quote in the Taskmaster Book of Quotes™?

Favourite task(s)?

What task would you want to attempt yourself?

What task would you love to see another series attempt?

Do you follow any international versions?

Did you participate in home tasking?

If you could pick any 5 old contestants to come back for a special, who would they be?

Dream contestants for the future?

Do you listen to the official Taskmaster podcast? What about any adjacent podcasts?

What has been your favourite location apart from the house?

What is your favorite part about the Taskmaster house?

Any unpopular opinions?

Favourite contestant(s)?

Critique your favourite series and compliment your least favourite!

Favourite Greg painting/set theme?

When did you discover the show?

Tell me about a TM moment that lives in your head rent-free.

[fromthedeskofthecaptain]

Cap’s army service - some (more) conjecture!

COULD CAP HAVE BEEN CALLED UP FOR WW1 (even though he doesn’t have any medals from that era)?

Doing Captain research at work (obviously, because doing work at work would be dreadful for morale) and thought I’d share a few fun facts that may be of interest to people. I assume that Cap died in 1945/46 and was born around 1900. We haven’t had this confirmed, but it makes sense for him to be about the same age as Ben, who was 46 when filming began.

1. The conscription process originally begun in 1916 was continued until mid-1919 and applied to men 18 and over, with limited exemptions (none of which are applicable) so even if he wasn’t quite old enough to have served in WW1, he could still have been called up as a result of it, aged 18 or 19.

I’m not sure what the minimum period of post-war conscription was. There is a newspaper ad from May 1919 offering enlistment until the end of April 1920, but that refers to voluntary army garrison service, not compulsory conscription.

I’m also not sure how “automatic” call up was - was it every eligible male, or could you turn 18 and be lucky enough not to have your number come up, as it were, straight away (or at all, if you turned 18 late in the war or just after).

It was also possible to join the regular army once WW1 had started. The usual terms of service meant a 12 year stint, although Kitchener introduced a “short service” sign up for the duration of the war or three years, whichever was longer.

2. Once the war was over, there was a great need to keep a large military presence in parts of the Empire and areas like Palestine, Northern Russia, Afghanistan, etc. Volunteers and conscripted men and NCOs were offered re-enlistment bonuses if they were still serving on 10th December 1918.

(Regulars could also get this bonus IF their service expired before 1st Sept 1919, which wouldn’t be the case for Cap, unless he was a little older than I think and began short form regular army service before 27th Jan 1916.) As of April 1919, this was extended to discharged men, so even if he was a volunteer or conscript who had an extremely short service period, from his birthday until the end of the war, or just beyond, Cap could’ve re-enlisted for a minimum of two years, obtained a bonus and gone on from there.

AND THE IMPACT OF CLASS...

I feel like Cap’s class background might have a bearing on how he joined and at what point in life.

I have Cap down as a grammar school boy, solidly lower middle or “middle middle” class, not from an especially privileged background. Perhaps the child of a small business owner or white collar professional, such as an accountant. I can’t say precisely why, but I think it’s something to do with the lack of innate confidence and superiority. He just doesn’t read as a “hooray Henry” and it’s not because he’s gay. I doubt he went to university, as many professions we now regard as graduate level were thought of as trades, which really meant an apprenticeship, not university, for the vast majority of skill sets.

If he only went to the local grammar, he might not have been able to access an officer training corps offered by elite private schools or universities, so it might’ve been that his only other route to becoming an officer was an officer cadet unit. (I found statistics suggesting there were around 120 schools with OTCs in 1916 and around 1,000 grammar schools, so under 20% had the chance).

To enter an officer cadet unit with no OTC experience during WW1 would’ve meant he would have had to have been in the ranks for two years first. (I don’t know how long after 1918 this rule lasted). This would’ve resulted in a temporary commission.

If he HAD been given a temporary commission he would have been lucky to have it converted into a regular army one - this happened in only 1,109 cases. The remainder of the “temporary gentleman” as they were known, slightly disparagingly, had to go back to civilian life and were often psychologically harmed by the swift reduction in status and responsibility and the “thank you, now get back in your box and stop talking to us like you’re an equal” attitude.

I’m not arguing that he definitely did serve in WW1, as an officer or otherwise, just thinking through options for 18 or 19 year old Cap.