#damn it my beautiful princess with a disorder

[oceanwithouthermoon]

currently thinking about unreliable narrator saiki kusuo, and the fact that if the manga was written from anyone else's perspective then everyone would see him as a tsundere stalker, borderline yandere..

[turtleducsk]

rin study i initially just wanted to draw her scars tbh, but yeaaaa im still playing around with her features and her skin tone and hair style and everything else...shes so fun to draw so im enjoying the process :D

[zushimart]

hi idk if this is a weird ask or not bc im half asleep but i just wanted to say that i started following u on my old blog in late 2022 like maybe december and your posts about bpd scara made me feel so seen. i wasn't diagnosed then but it was recently on the table as a diagnosis for me all of a sudden and it was terrifying because i feel like pwbpd are demonized and hated everywhere i look. and just like scrolling thru ur bpd scara tag was like looking at a diary of my own mind or smth. so it was really new to me to see someone talk about borderline as something that brings love and pain into our lives and not just as some scary evil-people diagnosis. like ur definitely my fav writer on this app by far but also u make me feel really validated in my emotions i guess? wow idk sorry like i actually have no idea how to describe it but hopefully u can read minds ‼️ 🤞 i have since been diagnosed with bpd with a criteria score of 9/9 so 😳 idk where id be rn in september 2023 if i hadn't sort of started to learn to love myself from your writings exploring a character. so yea this is probably a strange ask so feel free to ignore it. also im going on anon bc im scared of interacting w ppl. ALSO U R SO FUNNY ND YOUR HUMOR/RANDOM FUNNY TAGS FEEL SO SIMILAR TO MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE

this is such an open & genuine thing to say to me . i like had to sit with it for a second because it was so .. idk like how to communicate it . my devaluation of ths blog is pretty frequent, treating it sort of like a big boy version of the 2000s children’s diaries with locks.. my thoughts tossed in here nd piled nd piled nd piled, endlessly messy. nd it objectively is a writing blog , like yeah, on a surface level, i own& maintain a writing blog, but i would never tell people that. when people ask my hobbies i always say writing & ill show them my poetry pieces but i never tell them i have a blog because im kind of embarrassed by the very seriously delusional self indulgence i pour into this thing . but then i hear about.. like, for ex. we learned ab and have to maintain our own commonplace book in class, which is essentially where people collected anything and everything they felt needed to be archived from their day and tucked it into the pages of a journal . like how thomas jefferson’s commonplace book will have his serious philosophical & political ramblings side by side a recipe for cornbread because it was just a place to put everything big & small . the practical & the theoretical. just, whatever Means something to u. and leisure, indulgence, pleasure r concepts just as important as virtues imo. anyway i say all this to say that what u said to me makes me want to treat everything better, even this place. it like, makes me feel really proud of my writing& analyses that i might normally b quick to label as inconsequential or childlike because im scared people will think i care too much about something so culturally insignificant. but i do care!! obviously!! a lot. i was like kind of bummed today for a number of reasons frm feeling a bit isolated to feeling like living out my principles& ideals (connecting w community, peer centered thinking etc etc) is almost impossible because im sooo freaking shitty at social convention. so when u sent this in & i read it, it was almost like when ur spacing out nd someone snaps 🫰🫰 in front of ur face to get ur attn. so busy trying 2 b significant to someone to realize that u Already are significant in a myriad of little ways. that it’s not something u search for or insert urself into but rather an inevitable outcome of existing. Anyway . not to b sentimental but i wanted 2 b as candid with u because i really did think it was sweet of u to share & im really happy that i was able 2 positively shape & support a little space of ur life because really thats all i ever want to do. Soooooooooo if ur ask was weird then my response is even weirder. Handwritten thank u:

[cupiidk1lls]

⋆ ｡ ° 𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐃!!! ☆ ۪ ⋆

based on my bot : “nerd!!!”

summary : meangirl!reader defends nerd!matt from the whole frat when they make fun of him. why?

this is long as shit. you’re welcome.

W A R N I N G : bitchy!reader, shy!matt / perv!matt, swearing, suggestive words.

matts fork twists through his food, a settled grimace on his face as he lets out a sigh. he looks around, the sound of laughter and chatter almost damn near deafening him. god, why were people so loud for no reason? or maybe that’s just him being grumpy, he supposes. it’s not like he has anyone to be loud and obnoxious with anyway, considering hes a huge loner - and he knows it, hes well aware of his social skills, well, lack thereof. he doesnt mind it, either. if anything, he prefers being antisocial. saves himself from being dragged into unnecessary drama and having peoples noses in his business.

and his anxiety disorder doesnt help with that matter at all, he always finds himself to be strayed away. and the bullies? that makes his daily struggle with socialising a whole lot worse, completely.

but you're the exact opposite. you will die if you dont socialise with anyone for 5 minutes, you always have to be yapping someones ear off, whether that be in a mean way or just in general. you're the life of the party, a wild card, a total smokeshow. matt always thought you were beautiful, despite being the bitchiest bitch of the whole entire school - because you definetley are the biggest bitch ever. but.. ugh, he doesnt know, he kinda.. likes it? he finds it endearing, the way you have so much confidence and so much sass. its admiring, as much as it is hot as fuck.

especially the way you handle yourself so independently, you dont take any type of bullshit and its obvious. the way you walk around the halls like a damn catwalk, the way everyone makes way just for you, the looks of either envy or judgement. you dont care, whereas he stresses out if someone merely glances at him for more than two seconds.

but god, you're just so fucking beautiful. you're ethereal. especially when you wear pink - that always gets his imagination running, even more so gets him going. are your panties pink under that little skirt? do you wear pink everything underneath your pretty princess-pink clothes? he cant help but wonder how pink underwear looks on you, how the lace looks sat right on your hips. mhm, hes thought about that many, many times. more times than he’d like to admit. he’s done more than just think about it, for sure—

matt snaps out of his trance, his fork dropping into his food as an aggressive hand collides with his shoulder, making him flinch involuntarily, twisting his body instinctively in order to see who did it. and of course, he's not shocked to see the whole fraternity group surround him, the leaders hand on matts shoulder. matt sighs, looking away then back up at the leader, kai. "can y'not.. touch me?" matt murmurs, carefully taking kai's hand off his shoulder, shifting aside a little bit.

kai scoffs out a laugh, letting matt push his hand off, not before teasingly ruffling his hair, making the other ones chuckle in harmony. "sorry, matty. tripped," he comments, though the mischievous smirk on his face says otherwise. "what'cha doin' by yourself, anyway, hm?" he says, leaning over his shoulder to see his face, obnoxiously close. when matts about to speak, kai cuts him off with another chuckle. "ah, mhm, thats right. you dont have anyone to sit with. forgot." the others laugh, making matt roll his eyes, but he cant help but feel so small. his mom told him to ignore bullies, but he knows thats easier said then done. he found that out the hard way.

“just.. just leave me alone.." matt speaks, a tinge of harshness in his tone, making them chuckle harder. “oh.. oh guys, d’ya think we made lil’ matty here abit mad?” kai mocks, as another frat boy leans close to matt, “what’cha gonna do matt, huh? go to y’mommy? gonna go cry like the pussy you are?” they all chuckle at the insult, clearly finding themselves the most hilarious people on the planet.

a few people laugh at the scene, but all laughter dies down, the rowdiness of the cafeteria banishing into silence, ever so suddenly that matt didn’t even pick it up. all the frat boys slowly look up, their curiosity and confusion peaked. but their faces seem to pale when they recognise the presence that stands before them. you, the ‘queen B’ of the whole entire school. and, kai’s ex. oh shit.

“what’dya think you’re doing?” you speak, to anyone in the frat in particular, as you shift a hand onto your hip, your other hand holding your food tray. the familiar voice causes matt to look up, his face going red in time with the frat. why are you, out of all people, defending him? do you even have the time for a loser like him? do you even know his name? so many questions fill his mind, as his eyes widen comically.

“i.. i uh..” kai attempts to speak, but you shake your head and hold up your hand, signalling that you’re not done talking. and oh, does he shut up. matt almost snorts at the change of his behaviour, how he went from such a loud-mouthed asshole to such a submissive little puppy in seconds. but hey, matt can’t exactly talk, can he? “nonono, why are you making fun of my friend, matt?” you taunt, narrowing your eyes as you lean your head abit more closer to the group. friend? what? matts ears perk up, again.

matt sighs to himself, his chest rising up then down slowly, not looking away from you, not wanting too. he’s happy looking at you all day long, he would take that chance if he could. he’d let you boss him around like he’s your dog, he’d let you stomp on him with those big heels you wear. he’d let you do absolutely anything too him. and he’s so turned on at the way you shut down the frat leader like that, as if he’s just some useless little boy that’s ready to be at your beck and call 24/7.

“.. i.. i wasn’t! i totally.. totally wasn’t doin’ anyth!—“ you groan exaggeratedly, the way he’s pulling on your leg is pissing you off. “right! right, just, just go. jesus christ.” you huff, clearly having enough of this conversation as you put your food tray infront of matt, making him flinch at the loud sound of the tray hitting the table. you step over the bench, your hands keeping your skirt down. and when you were just about to sit, you look at kai and the rest of them, noticing they still haven’t moved. “shoo?” you add impatiently, waving your hand as if your batting a pesty fly away, causing them to bolt, shaking in their boots.

you sigh dramatically as you finally sit down, as casual as ever, finally making eye contact with matt as you pick up your milkshake and take a sip, matt watches as your pretty lips make contact with the straw. the sight makes him harden, feeling his dick twitch and stir in his now constricted denim jeans ever so subtly, causing him to have too cross his legs and lean back a little in order to get space. he looks away for a split second and huffs through his nose to calm himself down, then he looks back at you. “umn.. thanks.. for all tha—“

“whats your name?” you cut him off. wow, you’ve got a thing for that, haven’t you? that’s fine with matt, he.. supposes. “.. matthew—matt. well— matt. no-one calls me matthew.” he stammers with a nervous chuckle, bringing up a hand to rub at the nape of his neck twitchily, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he looks into your eyes, his eyes darting to each one of yours, unable to settle on just one. “..’s just matt. sturniolo.”

your chuckle makes his ears perk up, his eyes now darting to your lips, as your pearly whites are revealed in sync with your pretty smile. “matthew matt sturniolo. noted.” you tilt your head to the side, causing him to automatically do the same. you’ve seen matt around school, just never talked to him. never really had a point. “you’re cute, y’know that?”

your blunt comment causes him to almost choke on his spit. he blinks, a red tint crawling up his neck onto his cheeks, as he looks away then back at you. cute? nobody’s called him that. he’s only been called handsome, by his mom. “cute..? me? i.. i don’t think so.” he lets out a chuckle, his hand trailing upto the back of his neck again, a nervous habit of his. “you’re.. you’re really..” he swallows, looking away when you sip out of that damn straw again, trying to get the explicit images out of his head, immediately. “pretty. you’re real pretty.” he blurts out, before he can stop himself, his mouth left slightly open as he comes to realisation on what he just said, his cheeks flushing a tomato-red, even more than beforehand.

you swallow the sip and smile, his shy demeanour almost amusing, yet you’re so hooked. you want to know how embarrassed you can get him, you want to push him to the limit. but you don’t, you infact embrace it with an open mind and let out a little giggle. “why thankyou, matthew matt.” you subtly flirt, causing him to sigh. you tilt your head again, your curls slightly falling into your face, causing matt’s hand to twitch, resisting the urge to reach out and tuck it behind your ear so he can see your full pretty face.

“anyway.” you interrupt, picking up your food tray as you stand up, your thighs almost in his face. almost. he almost wants to whine, to pull you back down onto the bench, to beg you to stay. but instead, he stays silent, letting you continue to speak. you continue, “im gonna go back to my friends. ‘twas nice talking t’ya.” he smiles back at you, and sits abit upright, feeling way more brighter than he was before you came. he can’t resist the temptation to look you up and down, and he definitely does. twice, for good measure. is that a new skirt?

you chuckle at his ogling, and step over the bench, then you turn around again and smile at him once more, an almost soft smile — which is striking, due to your usual tough behaviour. “don’t be a stranger, sturniolo.” GOD, how are you so good with words!!! he opens his mouth to speak, to say his goodbyes, but your already walking off. a squeak settles at the back of matt’s throat, as he sits a little straighter, watching like a hawk as you walk in that new little skirt, wanting to get a good view of it.

he suddenly catches himself and he waves. at your back, as he was too busy staring at that ass of yours beforehand to even reply in time. “y-yeah.. yea.. i.. b-bye!” he mentally groans at himself in embarrassment, watching as you chuckle and turn around, giving him a little wave, your expensive bracelets hanging off your wrists as it moves.

he cannot fuckin’ wait too tell his brothers about this one.

𝜗𝜚 kami’scupids! : @colorthecosmos444 @pr3ttyf4wn @nickgurl4life @loveparqdise @marrykisskilled @sturniolosiphone @slut4chris888 @tyummyz @caliluvsux @meowmeowmsow @sweetrelieef . . .

# 𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐨 𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧. ❤︎︎

# 𝒹ividers cred = @bernardsbendystraws (obv.) # ☆ STAR divider cred = i got it from this post !!

…. another nerd!matt x meangirl!user or…?

[purplekissinger]

deardiarydeardiarydeardiary

Y/N's been acting strange lately. She may contain the urge to run away, but Tom holds her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks.

🎵alt-J - Breezeblocks🎵

TW: manipulation, mental disorder themes. This is a full blown angst.

The cover: smooth, soft, fine leather. It feels nice to run your hand over it and you do it from time to time. Sometimes it feels warm. The corners: gold, darkened with age. They taste slightly salty (yes, you chewed them at some point, let's not talk about that). The paper: rough, thick, slightly yellow, clean pages like muddy water (there should be a bottom somewhere, but it’s not visible). Tom: soothing, gentle, funny, sympathetic, loving, the best, scary, all-knowing, affectionate, scary, witty, did I mention ‘scary’?

“Nothing special happened today,” you wrote and paused, thinking about your next sentence. He will know if you lie, he has proven it too many times. It's better to  switch the topic quickly. “There is a small problem with the task on potions, maybe you can help me?..”.

Sometimes you use ellipses when talking to him. Poke, poke, poke. Writing lacks the timid intonation so you draw it with dots.

Tom doesn't buy it.

“And what was not special that happened today?”

You began to sleep worse and eat less.

‘Y/N, are you okay?’ - asks someone to your right. It takes you a second to realize that you are sitting at a table in the Great Hall and it’s unbearably noisy here. It takes two more seconds to turn your unseeing gaze to the girl on the right (is that Mary? Mary what’shername? Mary MacDonald? Do we know each other? Why is she talking to me? How did I end up here?).

“Yes, everything is great,” you smile weakly. “I’ll just grab something to eat and it will be even better.”

The plate in front of you is empty. Mary's face is distorted by some kind of emotion, and it takes you another three seconds to recognize pity and disgust in it.

“Molly Prewett said I've been weird lately.”

Molly Prewett said she's already seen you in that shirt for several days in a row. Molly Prewett said your eye is twitching. Molly Prewett said you scream at night.

“Molly Prewett? That fat red-haired girl?” - you can almost see his mocking smile through the pages, and you immediately feel better, as if the invisible fingers squeezing your throat have slightly loosened their grip. “Y/N, dear, please don’t say that she actually managed to hurt your feelings. You do realize why she says that, right? You are the most beautiful and the smartest girl in Hogwarts, and this ugly bitch is simply dying of envy. Damn, I'm dying of self-envy. I’m the luckiest bastard ever to know you. It's a pleasure talking with you. You yourself are a pleasure. Of course, she is jealous, the whole of Hogwarts is crazy about you, otherwise they are just blind. Do you have a mirror in your room right now? Come on, look in it. There’s a princess living in your mirror, go check yourself!”

In your mirror lives a princess who has lain in a coffin for a hundred years. Hair tangled, eyes dull, sweater inside out.

You walk along the corridor,  moving your feet mechanically. You won't be able to remember what lesson is next on the schedule even if your life depends on it. Your peripheral vision has gone and all sounds seem to be distant as if there were cotton wool in your ears. Step. Step. Step. Step.

“Tom, this is just wonderful! I struggled over this essay for two hours, and you sorted it out in no time. Wait, don’t remove the solution yet, I’ll copy it…”

“Take your time, honey. I want my best girl to study well.”

Last week, for the first time in your life, you got a Troll in Transfiguration, which you used to love. You simply went to the pulpit and stood there with an absent look for two minutes. After class, professor McGonagall touches your elbow gently.

“Miss L/N, if you feel like you need to talk, I’m always ready to listen to you,” she says almost in a whisper. It's the warmest tone she can muster, but you already have someone always ready to listen.

“y/n sunshine my beloved dear y/n y/n y/n y/n i love you so please don’t go y/n y/n y/n if you have a heart you won’t leave me you're such a kind girl y/n you won't leave me here you'll help me you'll talk to me you'll love me you'll help me i believe y/n y/n y/n you're the best in the world if i find out that you told someone you’re dead dead dead dead dead dead you don’t know what i can do what i’m capable of you can’t escape me you’ll rot in azkaban forever if you tell anyone y/n don’t even think of that y/n you’re my sunshine you open the diary and i can breathe again i breathe you i live by you i will die without you don’t leave me help me i’m begging you i love you so i love you so”.

Choking with sobs, you look at the jumping lines. The pages are wet from your tears.

“What do you want me to do, Tom?”

It’s 3 a.m. You haven't slept for two days. How are you still able to write? How are you still able to think?

“The toilet is on the third floor. Write me when you get there.”

[dirtbra1n]

okay to be honest with you guys I am afraid.

wanna preface this upfront before I start smearing egg all over my face: damn near any news from SSMY HQ is good news because I respect the hell out of harusono shou for completely bewitching me for now over two years. the very regular very likely possibility of JUST getting news at midnight on january 1st JST about how both sasamiya and hirakagi will update this next beautiful year will still be music to my ears. because I seriously love these stories a fuckton. Okay?

but look I’m really scared for real.

the timing is too perfect to start with. I’m starting with this because my fear is multifaceted and We will be going over the other facets in good time. and also because it is silly. but there have been a nonzero amount of times where I am on the same wavelength as harusono sensei (ichinose posting -> translated extra of ichinose and his faceplanting into dorm managers chest, shiramiya posting -> You know., etc.) to a concerning degree and frankly another occurrence of this might push me into hiding. The timing of Next Year (JST) to prove me technically wrong while still being This Year (for meee) to prove me technically RIGHT might seriously send me into witness protection. you understand.

here’s the thing. beyond my being afflicted with visions and being psychically linked with harusono shou. right. We’re really really not delusional about hanzashiro. we’ve been over this before. the stuff is there. it’s there.

the anthology . It is there. I’m not crazy and neither are you. Right. also fucking obviousl

the Over 10,000 Words (probably lowball estimate by now) Of Unreleased Plot Relating To Hanzawa Masato are still unaccounted for.

I see this photo more than half of my family. youdon’t need to know how much I think about it

so all of that. right.

Why did harusono shou draw prev prez TWO!!!! times this year

counting his fuckass arm offscreen. This is two more times than we got since. when did the sasamiya first years novel come ou

since 2020. Okay!

we have got to kill this guy. I’m being so serious.

anyway all that said here’s my penultimate thing I’m doing here. Honestly I’m really scared of hanzashiro becoming more visible to the masses because the standard understanding of romance doesn’t really graph onto their relationship in high school. I really like this and I want to see ten billion times more weird hanzashiro high school escapades INCLUDING nameless (to-be-named 🥺🤲?) asshole prev prez. but there might be more people who wanna see them kiss and I need all of those people In this theoretical scenario where harusono shou blesses ME in particular for all of my delusion all this time. to be patient. I’ve been patient they can also be patient It’ll be fun we’ll do it together

here’s the actual penultimate thing: I’m really really scared to be wrong. against all reason I went and got my hopes up and it will be a #bummer to be wrong. I’m giving you all permission to laugh at me in the event that I am wrong but I like to be level with you lot and I am very scared to be wrong. Okay?

the final thing is a list of things I want out of harusono shou’s Hanzawa to Tashiro:

tashiro is there

prev prez is there And he. gets a name Please

yashiro gets his flowers for being cute suspicious and Not unlike. am I allowed to say he acts like dorm head hanzawa masato’s wife If I’m not allowed to say that feel free to throw rocks at me

hope student council president is there and he shits himself every time masato is in a three meter radius of him

harusono shou indulging in having fun with our shared Beautiful princess with a disorder. (hanzawa masato)

okay I’m done now I think. I haven’t stopped kind of trembling since I checked the time earlier Aaand post

[shiveringgroovy]

Got any RITHOTD headcanons?

YES SIR/MA'AM/ENTITY OF THE SLOP I DO!!!!!! spoiler they're all autistic and i'm gonna project onto fyodor like nobody's business

Fyodor

Class 2 Autism with debilitating executive dysfunction (no i don't take criticism i know damn well that weirdboy can't get shit done. sincerely someone with class 1 autism and debilitating executive dysfunction)

Paranoid Schizophrenia with religious delusions

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

REALLY picky about sensory stimuli

Can't Stand: spicy food, mushy textures, dried mud and paint, velcro, hot environments, having dry hands, overwhelmingly sweet scents/tastes, the smell, texture, and taste of blood

Really Likes: soft/long hair, smooth textures, wood smells, carbonated drinks (listen idk why but i think as soon as shit like monster energy was released he was INSANE)

REALLY loves nature, but doesn't interact with it often

Favorite Animals: Rats, Spiders, Roaches, Tardigrades, Cats

Really poor eyesight, needs glasses but hates having things on his face

Pushkin

Class 1 Autism

ADHD with major executive dysfunction

Major Depressive Disorder

Arthritis

Also really picky about sensory stimuli

Hates loud noises and scraping sounds in specific. wears earplugs/covers his ears with his coat hood to block out some noise

Not a huge nature fan, but likes most rodents and canines

Had a service dog for a while, probably a boxer or a doberman

Uses a cane, but would prefer crutches

Listens to classic rock like a fucking NERD. probably has a last.fm account too. someone introduce him to goreshit

he's my babygirl.

Ivan

Class 2 Autism

Epilepsy

Psychosis

UGGGHGHHHHH I WANT THE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH SEVERAL DISORDERS SO BAD I'M GONNA [gets crushed by a rock]

World's most normal Throbbing Gristle fan (the band)

Loves nature, especially invertebrates

Favorite Animals: Roaches, Beetles, Isopods, Centipedes

Stims by blinking rapidly, cracking his joints, and throwing rocks around like a cat toy for himself

Stands with his feet crossed and twisted to keep his balance

Often manipulates the ground below him to keep his balance as well, it pisses Pushkin off because he ends up falling

Mushitaro

people seem to forget this guy (was) in the rats blehhhhh (i like him :3)

Class 1 Autism

Owns exotic animals (macaws, old-world tarantulas, axolotls, etc)

Music taste varies. He'll listen to "whatever" but still skip through a ton of songs to get to one he likes

The worst backseat driver of all time

Has trouble regulating his voice volume, normally very loud

Has kept hundreds of diaries, this guy doesn't play about journalling.

Loves brightly-colored things

Hawthorne

Borderline Personality Disorder

Really good at baking and cooking

He literally CANNOT stand up after a fight because fym he intentionally loses that blood????

I'm ngl I was never interested in this guy

Cat and dog lover, hates invertebrates and considers them "dirty"

He's a total lightweight trust me. has one drink and starts sobbing

[anonymousdanganronpaconfessions]

If genocide Jill were to be genderbent, I fully believe that he would not murder *solely* women. I think to believe that he would be some Ted bundy equivalent is to completely misunderstand the character. Genocide Jill herself is not some "le epic yandere who kills hot boys and is horny lol XD" as much as she presents herself to be so. Imo, she purposefully doesn't show any depth to naegi due to the pairs of distrust and her unwillingness to rely on other people. For example, when questioned about how she was formed, she gives a dumb bulshit answer to avoid opening up. They had an awful childhood, the first boy she killed was out of tokos own distress due to the harsh rejection she received, she knows damn well why she was formed, and she knows damn well what her purpose was - to protect toko. Giving a bullshit answer to those sorts of questions not only protects herself from having to be vulnerable, but also protects toko from blame as arguably, the murder was done due to tokos feelings (and thus her own). Genocide jack also doesn't seem like the type to punch down. She isn't a whole selfish being either, which furthers my belief that she doesn't kill purely for lust. Take the "fight" that she had with komaru. She was willing to give up herself and her own motives in order to let komaru leave. It is for those reasons, that I think Genocide Jill kills, partly for lust - she found some enjoyment in it, it was a good way to let out sexual frustration, but that isnt the pure motive, it's just an extra bonus. The true motive was to let out anger on all those who wronged her, to try and protect toko, so a genderbent version of her would likely do the same. Now, who has the highest crime rate, who does the patriarchy give power to (power which can be abused)? Men. I'm not trying to go radfem on this, I'm an intersectional feminist myself, but the truth is, toko would likely face more threat from men, so jack would take them out more often. That idnt yo say that I don't think he would take a woman out, just not purely and not without reason. Genocide Jill is a 3d godamn charecter, not a manifestation of lust and silliness. If this is a fannonisation of her charecter, (which it is not, i have given cannon examples), then so be it. Fannon can provide nuance where there is none, and in genderbending, societal treatment towards diffrent genders would need to be taken into account anyways. (Also personally, i think jill is mtf, and therefore i would see a genderbent version as ftm, so in this headcannon, i think genocide jack would skin a man alive and wear him. Also gives them more reasons to kill, transgender individuals are at excess threat of being murdered, and being transgender in itself produces a lot of mental dustress and frustration. But that take is purely fannon)

😛😛😛😛👅😛😛👅😛👅👅👅😛😛😛😛 my beautiful princess with a disorder (and a highly missunderstood charecter)

.

[artsjuno]

Looking back on Arlo’s relationships with ppl and how he acts I gotta say he’s definitely reminds me of my bpd like damn why do ALL my fav characters have beautiful princess disorder

[lexcat-11]

it’s a late night rambling about life stuff night. tumblrs basically an echo chamber for me so I don’t mind lol.

content warning for discussion of fatphobia & what could be considered disordered eating. stay safe if this does reach anyone at all <3

it’s crazy to me how I, fortunately, was able to grow up with very little internalized homophobia and to have had such positive representation and acceptance primarily on the internet but also irl. I consider myself a very rebellious person who won’t let anyone invalidate me when it comes to stuff like that. I love being a lesbian, I’m not ashamed to be asexual. That’s me and I know I’m valid. I love who I am in that regard.

But god damn on the opposite side of things internalized fatphobia has not nearly been as easy for me. I guess I gained exposure to it so young and so directly it makes sense but it’s everywhereee. Weight loss ads on the tv, not finding clothing sizes in stores or their patterns being carelessly made so they don’t fit, seats in theaters not fitting my legs, the lack of representation, the hatred and immediate association with “ugliness” or “failure” from so many close minded and unkind people, direct bullying even like a month ago.

like when I was in *preschool* I remember daydreaming about the stuff a stereotypical little girl does— princesses, magic, all that, and at five years old, in my own imagination, I’d stop and tell myself “I don’t look like me. I look like another girl who’s prettier because she’s not fat.” FIVE YEARS OLD

I just have so much grief for that little girl and just everyone who might have ever had to go through it. Bodies are treated like trends and so oversexualized and some people would rather wish for someone to harm themself than be unable to sexualize a thin body. And at five years old I didn’t believe I could be pretty unless I lost weight.

Caring so much about it is against my values. I don’t care what society says about my sexuality or interests! But I do care about this. And it sucksssss because why should it matter? What if my healthiest self is the heaviest? What if I don’t work out anymore because it became a form of self-punishment? Why should anyone get to comment on my health??? Why is my body any of your business??? It’s so disgusting not to even mention all of the overlaps with ableism, the impacts it has on the trans community, and fatphobia’s roots stemming from racism. Why is it regarded as so normal? Why are we making five year olds in preschool sitting in a circle on the mat on the floor daydream about being thinner so they could be pretty enough to be part of a story? I’m an adult and I still envy thin people so much. I want to have this confidence boost and wear things they are but I’ve been taught that my body looks wrong in them.

I’m genuinely trying to unlearn all of this. Again idk if anyone’s gonna read this but I feel like being open because I know it would help me to know I’m not alone. There are plus sized and fat-bodied individuals who look like me and I think they are so so beautiful and I don’t ever criticize them the way I do myself and I don’t understand why I’m so unkind to myself.

I’m gonna try to stop having such a negative relationship with food and scrutinizing myself. I’m not going to focus on exercising and burning calories but instead moving my body so that I feel good. I share the image of sculptures of Greek goddesses and the fact I am nourished and have energy is something to celebrate. I have a body that naturally gains and retains weight. I don’t want to spend my life fighting it and hating myself trying to chase love that I deserve to be shown without conditions. I am a human being. I am alive and my body is the least interesting thing about me.

[spacemancharisma]

saw x liveblog:

this doesn’t look visually anything like a saw movie

john describing himself as something like a life coach is maybe the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

this ancient freak drawing torture devices in his sketchbook at the park is also 👌👌

I miss adam

part of me thinks they should’ve recast amanda since she’s like 20+ years older than her character now, but I also kind of like that she’s the same even if it doesn’t make sense. she’s also still incredibly hot.

I’m glad we’re back to torturing ppl who actually deserve it this is nice

it’s also nice to see some folks who actually fucking want to live for once

ok but on the subject the time limits are stupid if someone is willing to do whatever insane bullshit

the theater keeps erupting into laughter at these people being stupid and that’s such a vibe

this blonde lady did not come to fucking play. icon lowkey

I’d love to talk to amanda’s dad cause I blame him for like. all of this hfbfng

billy shows up and the theater goes “oooOOOooo” like the laugh track when a guest celebrity shows up on a sitcom

blonde lady is a wretched human being and I’m obsessed with her. I don’t support her wrongs but I do support what a fucking queen she is. do what you need to do to survive baby I love you

ok I’m getting sick of the impossible time limit like. if someone is doing what it takes and they just need like 30 more seconds, I think they should get that- it’s about having the will to live and that should be respected

THAT MASK FUCKS

is this a bad time to say I miss my grandpa

in my fix-it, amanda saves gabriela and they’re in lesbians forever 💖

radiation is fucked up

I’m so glad the other ppl in this theater understand that comedy and horror are fundamentally the same thing

GABI MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH A DISORDER

blonde lady I have turned my face away from you I can’t wait to watch you die badly

the assorted reprisals of the theme are awesome

BLONDE LADY YOU WILL DIE BY MY HAND

damn she is still serving cunt tho

ngl the chekovs gun of the one (1) spanish word john knows got me it was really obvious but it kinda fucked anyway

haha wharrgarbl

YESSSSSSS THEY CALL THE MOVIE SAW BECAUSE AFTER YOU SEE IT YOU SAW IT

I love to stim at abject horror lol

YEAH BITE EACH OTHER’S DICKS OFF

EVERYONE SHUT UP THAT CLOSING SHOT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN THEYRE WALKING INTO THE SUNRISE LIKE A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE FAMILY

also my friend pointed out that all the previous movies have ended with a door closing and the series ended with a door opening and that’s actually pretty cool

closing thoughts:

actually an excellent movie! did the series justice, was visually nice if not consistent with the original art, and did an honestly kind of compelling job with its characters. I really enjoyed it! would recommend but only if you’ve watched the rest of the saw movies for context lol

[hakusins]

Honkai Star Rail for the fandom ask

MWAH MWAH, thank you anon BHERBFHJEF you give me a reason to go insane!!!

send me a fandom!

Favourite Female:

uhh this one is a bit difficult to answer since i don't actually like a lot of the female characters in star rail, HBERFJBHERF my wives are mostly the men but if i have to choose!!

female chara i like for the aesthetic: Ruan Mei

female chara i like for her personality: Robin

Favourite Male:

BLADE, YINGXING, JIN, REN, MY LOVE, THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!! he's literally the reason why I pre-registered to HSR, downloaded the app a year before the server opened and saved all my stellar jades for his banner in 1.2. AND WHEN HIS CHARACTER TRAILER DROPPED I WOULD NOT STOP WATCHING IT !!!!

i never take him off of my team unless i absolutely cannot squeeze him in there. and right now im bleeding my wallet dry buying all his merch JHBEFBJHERF

3 Other Favourite Characters:

HEHE, OF COURSE HOW COULD I LEAVE OUT MY OTHER FAVE CHARACTERS?? of course, my second wife Boothill!

next one is Jing Yuan!! Mr. General has my heart, he's so cute and handsome and hot and I love love love listening to his voicelines. (no i don't listen to 'time for the master stroke' on repeat, i swear-)

and lastly - my HSR husband - the knight of beauty himself!! i honestly don't have a deeper reason why i love him other than the fact that i love princess treatment <3

3 OTPs: OH OH OH OH OH, honestly, I do want to say though I'm open to All x Blade and All x Boothill as long as they're the bottom, but my top ships are !!! JingRen, HengRen/FengRen, and SunHill!!!

Notp: not into dan heng x jing yuan :((( I can see the appeal but personally i don't like it! i also dont like the baiheng x yingxing ship either. and ofc any ships involving top!boothill or top!blade is just crossed out in my books WKWKKW

Funniest character: DR. RATIO HAS ME IN TEARS EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! LIKE THIS MAN IS A WHOLE FUCKING MEME AND IM IN LOVE WITH HIM. like he is so unserious i can't stand him HBERFBJHERF

Prettiest character: my beautiful princess with a disorder is perfect in my eyes. there is no one else more beautiful than HIM!!!

Most Annoying Character: uhhh march 7th. at least for me personally jhbERBFBJHREF i just don't like girls who just repeat what i just saw happened in game JHERFHJE

Most badass character: MR SUNDAY!!!!!!!! THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN PENACONY WHO WAS LITERALLY SO CLOSE TO ASCEND AND BECOME AN AEON???? lIKE NO ONE ELSE IS DOING IT LIKE MR SUNDAY!!!

Character I’d like as my BFF: GUINAFEN IS SO SO SO CUTE!!! when I saw her i was like.... omg,,, ,SHES SO CUTE !!!!!!! and I'm very awkward talker so someone who yaps a lot is ideal for me JHBERFHJERF

Female Character I’d Marry: uhh probably no one :(( none of the fem characters screams marriage material to me. but if i'm forced to choose i'd choose uhh bronya!! she's super dependable HBERBHJ

Male Character I’d Marry: ARGENTI !!! Like honestly, i'm so down bad and whipped and i LOVE LOVE LOVE princess treatment. Argenti is literally the ideal man but he only has eyes for Idrilla damn JHBRFBJHER

Character I hate/dislike/least like: None!! I think all of the characters are great, even if I find them mildly annoying!

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

doing mental gymnastics to justify spending $80 on a Lyft so I can see queen in IMAX. "money is temporary but seeing Freddie (my wife) and Brian (my beautiful princess with a disorder) in 4k is forever"

Damn, I don’t think I’ve ever spent that much on a Lyft, but money is meant to be spent lol

(Why is Brian a princess with a disorder? Lol)

[bleachersgirl]

i kind of want to read the vampire armand next because armand is simultaneously my special baby boy / my beautiful princess with a disorder and also the devil / my enemy forever for what he did to claudia and he is soooo interesting and compelling to me but also. it has taken me MANY months to read queen of the damned and i still have 100ish pages to go so maybe that’s a sign to lay off the anne rice for a while once i finish it.

[pigeoncatunderscore]

when I say I want ichijou I mean my gayboy cunty ass beautiful princess disorder 25 year old man not the damn vtuber, google search

[tallysgreatestfan]

YES

Only one out of the top of my head is L'Rell from Star Trek Discovery, who is actually an alien, but damn, a pretty monstrous looking one with claws and fangs and ridges everywhere. Also tall and buff.

She has a hella dark and disturbing canon pairing with a man (honestly so many trigger warnings, please if you are harmed easily by dark content look it up beforehand), but also a lot of chemistry with a human woman so there is this wlw ship in fandom too.

Then a few that might fit if you squint:

Tally Youngblood/David, Tally Youngblood/Shay and Dr. Cable/Maxamilla Feaster from the later books of the Uglies Series (Scott Westerfeld):

Not really monsters in the classical sense, but Tally, Shay and Dr. Cable are all superhumanely fast and strong cyborgs with extremely good senses, who are deliberately beauty surged to look scary. They canonically have fangs and claw-like razor sharp finger nails, and they also move in too fast and angular ways thanks to their super speed and probably also because of being like half machine half woman.

Only Tally/David involves a man, but David in the books is noticeably shorter and weaker than Tally. Included the femslash ships too though because damn yeah monsterfucker femslash.

[How I imagine them, in the upcoming movie they will look fairly different I guess. Massive trigger warning for eating disorders, self harm, and, given that this dystopian regime controls their citizens through that, beauty culture]

Scorpia from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is a tall, buff half insect woman, but thanks to her kind and cute personality this is much lesser scary than you would think.

No romance with men here as she canonically is a lesbian. She has a canonical romance with another woman, and also is deeply in love with her traumatized but abusive female best friend Catra that does not work out. IMO her and her mad scientist friend Entrapta also are a cute ship.

Then there is h_rd from The Risen Empire (Scott Westerfeld again), who, while looking eerily inhumane due to being a cyborg super soldier, doesn't quite looks monstrous enough to be considered an monster, but whoa, is she alien. Not just does she have cybernetic implants and replacements everywhere, including metallic purple artificial eyes, she is described to move weirdly sudden ways, her organs are either replaced with machines or genetically engineered to work totally different, she is not even slowed down by being perforated with small-caliber bullets and she even does not really breathe as much as just consistently sucking in and blowing out air.

She also is a buff, angular, two meter tall butch, and yes, she canonically has a touching romance with an low level woman enemy military worker. Not sure about shipping her with men; while technically her sexuality is not pinned down other than being into women so she could be bi, and her and her lover could be poly, it is much, much more likely that she is a lesbian, since she is from an all women species.

Fandom Problem #4672:

Monsterfucker content is usually either "woman or MLM x male monster". And that's all great! BUT - as someone into monsterfucking AND femdom stuff, there's a distinct lack of monsterfucking with a human guy x monster LADY. And I mean, genuinely monstrous, not just some anime bimbo showing off her cheap Spirit Halloween costume. I wanna see a guy getting USED by hot lady monsters. Closest we ever get is Lady Dimitrescu, who is fine as hell but also still basically a just a tall busty MILF with a Wolverine claw.