#damn chuuya CAN be polite when he wants to

[ssaraexposs]

I wish we had more Chuuya-Kouyo interactions

[osarina]

ᡣ𐭩 IF I WAS BORN A BLACKTHORN TREE

FEATURING: dazai osamu

SUMMARY: it's finally the night of the event you've been preparing so ardently for. it's going as well as it can be considering the circumstances—or it is until dazai osamu shows up and throws you off your game. suddenly confused and concerned, you can't help but wonder if maybe things aren't what they seemed with the civilian you've grown so attached to.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: PART THREEEEEEEEE!!! hehehe we finally have some major plot development here <.< i was rlly excited for this chapter it was one of the ones i was looking forward to most when plotting the series. anyway, tae some more of reader being THE it girl ever - actually i was rlly excited for this because i havent really had the chance to showcase pmreader in her element the canon universe so i had fun with it here

GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, civilian!dazai, dazai's struggles w suicide & sh, reader partakes in mafia business, dazai isn't dazai without a bit of obsessiveness and possessiveness (the possessiveness doesn't come til later but the obsessiveness starts from day 0).

CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: lots of politics, dazai has the beginning of a panic attack, jealousy on both ends

SEE: WASTELAND, BABY! SERIES MASTERLIST

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Chuuya asks, leaning over the center console to look at you, watching as you dab on lipstick in the mirror. 

In the driver’s seat, Albatross snorts, and he sees how you hardly refrain from rolling your eyes—Chuuya has half a mind to use his ability to rattle the car while you’re finishing up your makeup just to piss you off, but he has a feeling that you’ll lose your shit if he does that. You’re about to head into the event being hosted by the government for that agency in Tokyo, and Chuuya is just not feeling good about it. He’s felt this way since you were finishing up preparations at the headquarters an hour ago, forcing his way into the car with you and Albatross before you left.

“Chuuya, your face has been plastered all over Japan’s most wanted for three years. How do you propose you walk in with me without confirming that the Mori Corp. is a front for the Port Mafia?” you sigh heavily.

Chuuya bristles. “I just don’t have the best feeling,” he says defensively. “Forgive me for being worried. Damn.”

Chuuya settles back against the middle seat in the back row, letting out a sharp puff of air and pointedly turning his head away. He stares ahead, mind racing—it’s barely been a week since the operation against the Ingawa-kai. His body is still sore, and he should probably still be on bed rest, but he wasn’t going to laze around his apartment while you’re out here still healing from having your stomach sliced open.

By him.

Well, you won’t say what caused the almost lethal injury, but Chuuya knows it was from when he was in his Corrupted state. Whether it was by accident or because Arahabaki targeted you when you approached him, it doesn’t matter—the guilt he feels remains the same.

“It’s just a government event, Chuuya,” you say, looking back at him. “I’ve been to hundreds of them, relax.”

Yeah, but never so soon after a major operation against a Yakuza syndicate. Tokyo is Shimazaki-kai territory—they’ve always worked closely with the Inagawa-kai, and he doubts they’ll take kindly to Port Mafia presence in their heartland after they just annihilated one of the branches of their biggest ally. 

“Just be careful,” Chuuya says quietly when he sees you’re about to step out of the car. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m not Albatross,” you say dryly.

“The fuck did I do?” Albatross demands once the abrupt and uncalled-for insult registers, head snapping to the side to look at you.

You only give him a sharp smile and wag your fingers in a mocking wave before stepping out of the car and making your way to the steps of the city hall. Chuuya only feels slightly relieved at the sight of Kiyomasa Daichi of the Sun and Steel immediately making his way over to you to escort you into the building.

As soon as you’re out of sight, Chuuya is gnawing at his bottom lip, grateful that his gloves are preventing his nails from drawing blood from his palms. You’re right—you’ve done this hundreds of times before, attending these types of events since you were fifteen with Lippmann chaperoning, taking over them alone when you were sixteen just because of how impressed Lippmann was with how easily you were able to navigate the intricacies of political webs and veiled conversation. 

So, why is that nagging feeling still-

“Yo, what the fuck?” Albatross suddenly says, straightening up in his seat, eyes pinned on a figure making their way into the city hall.

Alarmed, Chuuya follows his gaze quickly, eyes widening when he registers what Albatross is seeing. “Isn’t that…?” 

Dazai Osamu. 

That civilian you’d been seeing for a few weeks. You cut him off a few days ago, Chuuya doubted it at first when you said you’d done it, but then he’d seen how much withdrawn you’d become the past few days. How you bought yourself a new phone with a new number. Chuuya feels guilty over that, too. He can see the way it’s tolled on you—you’ve been uncharacteristically quiet during meetings, constantly glancing down at your phone as if expecting messages from him—but Chuuya would also prefer this than to make you go through the same devastation he felt years ago that still weighs to this day.

“Yeah,” Albatross says, jaw tight. “The fuck is he doing here? It’s going to throw her off—there’s no way she knew this. What do we do?”

“We can’t do anything,” Chuuya says, pulling out his phone to warn you that your civilian is evidently attending this event even though he knows damn well you don’t check your phone while on missions like this. “Fuck. The Shimazaki-kai are attending this event. The Boss is still trying to settle things with them after our conflict with the Inagawa-kai—it’s not going well.”

“Yeah,” Albatross scoffs. “Apparently, the oyabun’s daughter was married to one of the Inagawa-kai’s shatei. We’re probably gonna end up at war with them too—heard that they took in most of the Inagawa-kai’s refugees from our operation.”

Shit. 

That Chuuya didn’t know. Family is everything to the Yakuza syndicates—if the head of the Shimazaki-kai married off his daughter to one of the sons of the head of the Inagawa-kai… they’re a lot more tightly aligned than Chuuya initially thought. Attack on one is attack on all, or however that saying goes. Even if they don’t know that you’re the one that ordered the operation, they know you’re an executive of the Port Mafia, and that would be enough…

“They’ll be watching her like a fucking hawk,” Chuuya says, his throat swollen. “If they’re smart…”

If they’re smart, they’ll take you out now.

“I should go in,” Chuuya says, fingers curling around the handle of the door.

“Don’t,” Albatross tells him, giving Chuuya a short look. “If you blow her cover in there, it’ll fuck the Mafia over completely. We can’t lose our foothold in the Diet. Not with this bill about to pass through.”

Chuuya takes in a short, shaky breath, pulling off his hat and running his fingers through his hair. “If they see her with him-”

God, he can’t even finish the sentence, looking down to see his hands covered in familiar blood, a cold body in his arms. He-

“Chuuya,” Albatross says, twisting around to face him, reaching back to grab Chuuya’s hair and force him to look up and away from his bloodied hands. “She’s smart, she’ll be fine. She won’t seek him out.”

“And what if he goes up to her?” Chuuya hisses.

Albatross looks away grimly. “… Let’s just hope he doesn’t.”

Dazai feels distinctly out of place as he makes small talk with two House Representatives. He plays his part well, that’s for sure—he can feel Hinami hanging off his arm, watching him with wide eyes, stammering over words whenever she’s addressed by either of the politicians—but he feels like he looks like a fraud. Like everyone can tell that he’s just talking out of his ass and hoping for the best. Like everyone knows that he doesn’t belong.

He knows that he’s only in his own head about it. The two Representatives he’s talking to treat him like he’s one of their own and not a college student who doesn’t know jack shit about what he’s talking about. He supposes he has you to thank for that—knowing what to look for, it’s easy to pick out who belongs and who doesn’t, and because of that, it’s easy for him to figure out how to belong. Ayato sticks out like a sore thumb from where he’s trying a little too hard to talk to one of the Councillors, Dazai thinks Hinami would be too if she wasn’t attached to him.

He misses you. It’s only been a few days, but he misses you badly. His lips tingle from where you’d kissed him that night, and he can still feel the weight of your body on his. He misses you, and this event just makes him think even more of you. All of these people, this whole event, it all reminds him of you and Dazai can’t help but wonder if he’d feel more comfortable here with you at his side.

“I have to ask, Dazai-san,” one of the representatives—Hayashi, if Dazai remembers correctly—suddenly asks, drawing him from his thoughts. “Where did you get your suit? The tailor that works at the warehouse I usually get mine ended up quitting recently, and I’m looking for a new one.”

“Kido’s boutique in Nishi-ku,” Dazai tells him, a bit surprised when he watches the man’s eyes widen a bit in astonishment. “You know about it?”

“Who doesn’t? How did you manage to get a fitting with him?” the other man—Sato?—sighs, envy edging into his tone. “Kido-san is so selective with his clients. He turned me away when I went in for a fitting.” 

Oh, Dazai thinks, surprised. He figured that Kido’s boutique was high-class, but the fact that even people like Hayashi and Sato, who were very clearly well off with notably important positions in society as two of the more vocal members of the House of Representatives, couldn’t even get a fitting with the man leaves Dazai a bit put off.

“My brother-in-law got a fitting with him a few months ago for his son’s wedding,” Hayashi says, looking more at Sato now as he speaks. “He’s on the board of the Age of Blue Company and even he had to pull strings to get the appointment. Cost him nearly a million yen.”

Dazai has to physically force himself not to blanch at his words. Nearly a million yen—that’s more than what Dazai made in two months back when he was working full time and for a suit that he’s probably going to wear once. 

Ridiculous. 

Dazai hates rich people.

He can feel Hinami’s eyes on him, the way her arm tightens around his. Dazai wishes it was you on his arm instead. Or maybe him on yours, he’s not picky. He doesn’t even know why she’s attached herself like this to him—they’d make more progress splitting up. They’re seriously limiting their scope by only having two opportunities to talk to people but Hinami has been intent on staying at Dazai’s side no matter how much he urges her to go off and talk to people on her own.

Observe. Small talk. Gather information.

Not hard, not really. Dazai is good at putting on masks and blending in with people, and you certainly made it easier by making him look the part, but it doesn’t change the discomfort he feels, the lingering fear that people can see right through him. He likes to play the role of the clown because it distracts people from looking too deep, but that’s not an option in a setting like this, and he thinks people are still seeing him as a clown but for all of the wrong reasons: he’s dressed up in clothes that feel more like a costume than an outfit, he’s talking about subjects that go over his head even after he’s studied them in preparation for this, his face is stretched into a smile that feels foreign on his face. 

He hasn’t made much progress with gathering any useful information. Either he’s prodding at the wrong people, or they’re being extra careful not to let anything slip—could be both. Professor Ui gave them an overview of the important figures that are going to be in attendance and the ultimate goal would be to eventually talk with the majority leader in the House of Representatives and the minority leader in the House of Councillors. They were warned to keep a wide berth from Kiyomasa Daichi, an executive of the Age of Blue Company’s board—evidently the Ivory Eagle’s biggest target for this event. So Dazai supposes he’s among the right people right now, at least, because Hayashi just mentioned that his brother-in-law is on the board of the company.

The right people. Unless they find out what Dazai is here for and then-

“Tendo-kun,” an unfamiliar female voice calls from behind the two men he’s making conversation with.  “I was hoping you’d be here.”

Hayashi immediately cuts off his conversation with Sato, whirling around with a wide smile to face a pretty young woman with dark hair and darker eyes, red lips curled into a too-sweet smile as she comes to stand between the two of them, giving both Dazai and Hinami a curious look. 

“Noriko-san, I didn’t think you’d be here tonight. I thought your father was only sending Kiyomasa to rep the company,” Hayashi says easily, hooking his arm into the woman’s and looking down at her, enamored.

Kiyomasa. Dazai has to force himself not to react to the name. Hinami is not quite as subtle, drawing in a sharp breath that makes Dazai nearly wince because the woman, Noriko, clearly catches it from how she tilts her head to the side, looking over the two of them. 

Your father was only sending Kiyomasa…

Her father must be Mishima Yukio, the CEO of the Age of Blue, and that means-

Mafia. 

Exactly what they were meant to avoid right in front of them and Hinami is not being slick. Dazai can feel her fingers trembling from where she’s holding his arm.

“You know I only come to these events for one person,” Noriko laughs airly, leaning into Hayashi as she looks up at him before turning her attention back to Dazai and Hinami. “Who are your friends? Unfamiliar faces…”

Luckily, Hayashi is more focused on the first thing Noriko said. “No way,” he says, eyes bright and voice low and conspiratory. “She’s here. I thought for sure she wouldn’t show at this after everything that happened between this agency and the Mori Corporation a few months ago.”

“I think that’s exactly why she did come,” Noriko hums with an easy smile, lashes fluttering as she looks back at Dazai. “Mishima Noriko. And you are?”

Dazai doesn’t even get the chance to respond—which is for the best—because in an instant, there’s a commotion on the other side of the room, drawing the attention of all of the attendees of the gala. Noriko, Hayashi, and Sato all turn around, and Dazai takes a slight step forward to peer around them, trying to see what’s going on.

It doesn’t take long for Dazai to pinpoint it, mouth drying and heart stilling in his chest as his eyes land on you at the center of all of the attention.

You walk away from your previous company feeling grim, sure this is what you came here for—to meet with the more influential individuals attending the event tonight and help ease them into an opinion more aligned with the Port Mafia’s interests—but your heart’s just not in it. It’s easy to keep the smile on your face as you make casual conversation with House Representative Yamamoto, one of the key swing votes you have to bring to your side, but it’s much harder to make the smile reach your eyes.

Kiyomasa claimed that most of the swing votes are already falling in your favor, so long as Yamamoto’s and a few other controlling ones can be secured, you’ll be on a quick path to ensuring that the military bill is quashed in the Lower House. 

But you find yourself distracted. Your thoughts drift mid-conversation to a familiar pair of warm brown eyes and a soft smile, your heart yearns for something you know you can’t have, and it makes you feel sick. Luckily in situations like these, your body works on autopilot—you smile when you’re meant to smile, you laugh when you have to laugh, you make witty comments and sly remarks to push the swing votes your way—but you just want to go back to your apartment.

“I must say, I didn’t expect you to be here tonight,” Representative Yamamoto hums, waving down a server to grab the two of you flutes of champagne. He looks amused as he turns his attention back down to you, dark eyes glittering. He’s handsome, you think, with dark hair and darker eyes, only a few years older than you—maybe if you can’t convince him with your words, you’ll convince him in bed. “Not after everything that happened between the Mori Corporation and this… what is this agency called again?”

You laugh—genuinely this time, not one of those airy automatic ones. You take a sip of your champagne and look at Yamamoto. “Ah, Yamamoto-san, how terrible of you, not even knowing the name of the agency we’re all here to celebrate,” you tease lightly.

“Shame, shame, I know,” Yamamoto sighs, leaning against the pillar where the two of you are standing.

“The OCDA,” you tell him, looking up at him through your lashes as you study his face. 

Organized Crime Defense Agency, Mishima is truly taking far too long to eliminate them. The Sun and Steel were supposed to put them in the ground months ago after they drew attention to the Mori Corporation, trying to accuse the business of being a front for the Port Mafia. You had to lay low on business for months because of it, knowing that one wrong move could lead to a huge exposé from one of the big journalism groups in Yokohama, and if that happens, the government will have no choice but to intervene. The OCDA didn’t have proof to back their allegations, but if one of those journalism groups managed to get their hands on some…

The Port Mafia isn’t exactly in the position to be dealing with wars against major Yakuza syndicates, the Guild, and the government all at once. It could spell the end for it.

“Ah, yes, that’s it,” Yamamoto says absently. “The Commissioner has been staring at you since you walked in.”

Of course. Five months ago, you dedicated every waking moment to ruining the reputation of the OCDA—you had to do it. If people started believing their accusations, even if there was no evidence, it could cause trouble for the Port Mafia. You’d tarnished their public perception so completely that it literally took until this operation against the Scarlet Gang and the government going above and beyond to commemorate their success for the public to start viewing them in a better light. 

“I’m not surprised,” you tell him. “He still clearly holds a grudge over what happened a few months ago.”

“Unjustly, too,” Yamamoto notes. “They were the ones that chose to target the Mori Corporation with no grounds. I don’t know what they were thinking and to act like the victim after being the one to start it… Deplorable.”

Interesting, you think. 

You look at Yamamoto under a new light, tilting your head to the side. 

Is he just saying that because he knows it’s something you want to hear? 

Or is that how he really feels? 

The whole incident between the OCDA and the Mori Corporation has been a hot topic amongst the members of the National Diet. You’d feared that the allegations were going to severely harm your position amongst the Representatives and Councillors. To some extent, it had; a lot of the people who wanted the Mori Corporation to lose sway over the members of the Diet used it as a way to try to turn people against you—but you’d been able to salvage it. Still, even to this day, it’s a contentious topic that most politicians don’t willingly bring up. 

Just as you’re about to open your lips to respond, pry a little bit more into his mindset before you say something riskier. You catch sight of an achingly familiar face from the corner of your eye.

What-

All conscious thought leaves your mind as you turn your head to the side, trying to figure out if you’re seeing what you think you’re seeing.

Dazai?

Your gaze settles on none other than the boy who has been plaguing your thoughts since you left his apartment a few days ago. He’s standing off to the other side of the room dressed in the suit that you bought him—you can hardly bring yourself to draw your gaze from him. He looks… stunning, actually, at ease in a way that you never would have expected him to be in this setting. 

He’s talking to Hayashi, Sato and Noriko—three people that have close ties with the Port Mafia, much to your distress—the smile on his lips is easy and casual, body language relaxed. He looks right at home. A part of you itches to walk right over to him, but you know you shouldn’t. There are too many eyes on you at this event, enemies and allies alike. You don’t want to draw unwanted attention to Dazai, not when you’ve cut him off to protect him from this very sort of attention. 

Your eyes linger on him as he laughs at something Hayashi says, breath catching in the back of your throat—and god, you know you’re being obvious. You need to force your attention back to Yamamoto and at least try to remember what you were talking about to play this off. But-

But then he looks at you.

Dazai’s eyes drift from Hayashi right to where you’re standing with Yamamoto as if he already knew you were standing there. He looks surprised, and you realize that he’s probably more surprised that you’re looking back at him, like he didn’t expect you to notice him. 

How could you not notice him? 

And as soon as his gaze meets yours, you know that’s all an act. You can see the way his eyes are a bit lost, lonely. You know he feels severely out of place and you long walk over there to him. All thoughts of keeping attention off of him out the window if it means he doesn’t look so uncomfortable—you yearn to see the bright look in his eyes that you’d become so accustomed to, feel his smile against your lips. You’d known it was a mistake to kiss him that night, that you’d already let yourself indulge too much, and taking that next step would just hurt you both but…

Just like now, all reasonable thought seems to be thrown out the window whenever he’s around.

You watch as something akin to hurt flashes through his eyes, and you withhold a wince as you remember all of the lies you told him—leaving the country, not having time to text him. You’d even gotten a new phone and a new number so you wouldn’t be tempted to read his messages. Fuck, why does he always show up at the most inopportune moments? This must’ve been why he’d asked you about the military bill. This was the event his journalism professor wanted him to attend. How did you not put this together sooner?

Then, his gaze hardens, and he looks away, shifting to the side as if to pointedly show off someone you hadn’t noticed before—a girl hanging off of his arm. Pretty. Big dark eyes and light brown hair, a soft expression. Pretty, you think again, sickeningly civilian, probably another student at the university he attends. Even being dolled up in a gown and makeup can’t hide that.

Perfect for him, then. Sickeningly civilian. Just like Dazai. They’d be good for each other—live out long, sickeningly civilian lives with each other. Go to cafes and talk about all of their sickeningly civilian classes, discuss all of the books and poems they read. It’s perfect, it’s what you want for him, it’s why you cut him off. So he’s not in danger by being associated with you, so you don’t drag him into the dark and get him killed. 

So, where is the anger coming from? 

Your jaw is so clenched that you can feel your teeth grinding together, knuckles tense around your flute of champagne. Your tongue feels itchy, your throat feels swollen, your chest is unbearably tight—you have to force yourself to remain rooted next to Yamamoto, and your body twitches to walk over there. You’re so lost for logic that you can’t even fumble for an excuse to explain the sudden bout of anger. 

You try. You tell yourself that you’re angry because he shouldn’t be at an event like this. You tell yourself that you’re angry because his journalism professor should know better than to send college students to gather information at an event where several mafias are going to be in attendance. You tell yourself that you’re angry because he’s always coming around to fuck things up for you, that he shouldn’t have wormed his way into your life.

But it’s all flimsy and weak because the color flooding you right now isn’t red. 

It’s green. 

“I think you should go over there,” Yamamoto says, amused, nodding over to where you’re looking as he leans in closer to you. He keeps his voice down, luckily, but you can’t help the distress that sweeps through you when you realize that you are being that obvious.

“Allow me to pretend not to be so obvious, Yamamoto-san,” you sigh.

Yamamoto laughs, tossing you a wink. “I’m not that kind,” he says lightly. “I’ll send you an email later if we don’t get to talk again tonight. I’d like to discuss the more… minute details of the proposition you were offering.”

Your smile is a bit more genuine now as you turn your attention back to him.

“Of course,” you say easily. “A pleasure talking to you, as always.”

“And you,” Yamamoto replies. “Talking to you is always a highlight of these dreadfully boring galas.”

“You flatter me,” you laugh, waving off the compliment.

“Me? Never.” Yamamoto winks at you again, then leans in to murmur, “Best of luck.”

Yamamoto wanders off without another word, and your gaze drifts back over to Dazai and you find yourself actually contemplating it. You contemplate going over there and forcing that girl away, forcing him to spend the night at your side instead. You contemplate ruining everything by drawing all of the attention in the room onto him. You contemplate putting him in danger just to make this ugly green emotion go away.

You grab yourself another drink instead.

Dazai can hardly pay attention to the conversation at hand. No matter how much he tries to keep the conversation going between the two Representatives and Mishima and Noriko, he finds that his gaze keeps drifting back over to where you’re standing on the other side of the room. 

You look beautiful. You always look beautiful, but there’s something… different tonight. You’re dressed in a sleek black dress rather than the expensive suits he’s become used to. It hangs off your shoulders, a slit up your thigh; there’s a pretty smile on your face and a playful glitter in your eyes as you entertain conversation with people. You’re always beautiful—whether you’re in one of your ridiculously expensive suits or an equally expensive dress—but there’s something different tonight that makes him unable to keep his attention off of you for long.

In your suits, it’s a polished type of beauty. Cold. Untouchable. There’s an air about you that few would dare try to disturb. He noticed it that first night when everyone at the bar gave you a wide berth. At the cafe, it was the same—your presence screams that you’re someone important and someone who should not be bothered. Even at the library, though his classmates clearly wanted to approach you and talk to you, they were all too intimidated to try. Everyone waited for you to leave before badgering Dazai with questions.

This is different. Just as refined but untouchable in a different way. Your smiles are sly and inviting, your body language smooth and languid; people gravitate toward you rather than avoid you, but none dare to draw too close. If intimidation was the factor in other situations, nerves are in this one—you’re warm and enticing but still too elusive for anyone to dare to try to capture. Dazai can see it in the way they watch you longingly, fingers itching to reach out toward you, but they freeze before they can, like you’re some otherworldly being that they think they shouldn’t taint with their touch.

And Dazai is so conflicted. 

He yearns to go over to you. He wants to be the one to draw close to you, wants to see the expression on everyone else’s face when he’s the one that breaks through that invisible barrier, wants to slip his arm around your waist, hold you in the way that he knows other people are fantasizing about right now. He’s missed you the past few days; he can still feel the weight of your body on top of his, his lips tingling from where they’d been pressed against yours. If he closes his eyes long enough, he can almost imagine your fingers entwined with his hair, holding him close as your lips slide to his jaw. 

But he’s angry. Or maybe he’s not angry, maybe he’s just hurt. Maybe both. Dazai can’t tell. He’s never been good at understanding his own emotions, he just knows that he doesn’t like it. Wants it to go away.

Wants you to explain.

Why did you lie? The thought makes his stomach churn so uncomfortably that it makes the alcohol he’s been drinking come up his throat. Why did you lie? Since he saw you before, he’s been on the brink of collapse. He wants to go back to his apartment and forget all about this shitty event and your betrayal, wants to curl up in his futon and sleep before the gaping hole in his chest starts to spread.

He should have known this would happen. Every time Dazai Osamu has ever come to want something, it’s always lost the moment he obtains it. This has been true since the moment he was born, but somehow it eluded him the weeks he spent pining after you, eluded him the night you spent at his apartment sharing kisses and gentle touches. 

The cloud that’s been hanging over him since the night he met you at the bar, the one that you’ve successfully pushed away twice, is heavier than ever and Dazai wants to be rid of it. He’s so tired. Everything feels amplified now that he’s been given a taste of what he could have had with you, only to find you lied to be free of him just like so many others have. Ever since Odasaku died, he’s been alone and Dazai just doesn’t know how much more of it he can take. And he feels selfish, he feels selfish for wanting to go before he can fulfill his friend’s final request but he just can’t do it anymore.

It’s just too much for him, and Dazai isn’t going to finish this novel anyway. It doesn’t matter how many English classes he takes, doesn’t matter how much time he spends reading to teach himself how to write—Dazai will never be able to finish Odasaku’s book. How can he? A book focused on the human experience? Dazai is, unfortunately missing a key characteristic necessary to successfully write this novel.

Dazai has always struggled to understand the minds of people around him. He’s smart, and he can read people easily, but he’s never been able to understand them. It’s why he’s found himself an outcast time and time again: no matter how hard he tries, and he does try, he tries so hard, people can tell something is… off about him. His laughs are too loud and too hollow. His eyes are too black and too empty. His smiles are too wide and too fake. 

When he was younger, kids were cruel about it—they would point it out and laugh at him, and when he tried harder to fit in with them, they would point that out too. He couldn’t win, no matter how hard he tried. Now that he’s older, people aren’t quite as blatant with it, but Dazai is far from stupid and he can see the looks people give him, can see the way they actively avoid him, the way they whisper.

Dazai’s gotten better at masking himself. It’s hard for people to tell at first glance now that something is off about him—his smiles have become smoother and less strained, and he’s taught himself to laugh light and airy. He can make do with small talk and acquaintances, even able to charm people into his bed, assuming they aren't put off when he keeps the bandages on.

The trouble comes when they stick around too long, when they start noticing the cracks in his mask; he can evade it at first, become loud and funny, take on the role of a clown so they can focus on that instead of the gaping void within him, threatening to consume anyone that dares to come near. But he can only play that role for so long before people realize something is up; whether his smile fades at the wrong moment or he talks a bit too long, something clues them into the fact that something is wrong with Dazai, and they inevitably disappear without a word, avoid him on the streets if they happen to run into him.

Or they lie to him and tell him that they’re going abroad for a while just to be rid of him.

Dazai is drawn out of his own thoughts when he realizes that all four pairs of eyes are on him—Hayashi, Sato, Noriko, and Hinami are all looking at him expectantly, and he realizes, anxiously, that one of them must have directly addressed him but he was so lost in thought that he hadn’t even been listening. He racks his brain for a response, desperately trying to figure out if he’d subconsciously picked up on the conversation, but the longer the silence draws on, the harder it becomes for him to push away the numbness spreading from his core to his limbs.

Before he can fumble out a non-response, an achingly familiar voice intrudes on the conversation.

“Hayashi-kun, Sato-kun, I’ve been meaning to speak with you two,” you say with an easy smile as you make your way over to the small group, and Dazai can hardly breathe at the sight of you so close, unwittingly rescuing him yet again. “Noriko-chan.”

Your smile is fonder as your gaze lands on Noriko and the cold and aloof woman suddenly looks starstruck by your presence, enamored. Dazai’s chest tightens as he looks between the two of you.

You ignore his presence completely.

“Hime,” Noriko breathes out. Dazai startles at the honorific—it was startling hearing Kido, and the attendants call you it at the boutique, but it’s even more jarring hearing it come from a woman that Professor Ui suspects of being a mafia heiress. “I heard you would be here. I convinced my father to let me come.”

“Just for me?” Your voice is light and teasing, you reach out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Noriko’s ear, and Dazai’s blood pressure spikes. “You’re so sweet, Noriko-chan.”

“You didn’t come to Arima-kun’s wedding,” Noriko pouts in a way that’s so exaggerated that it nearly makes Dazai roll his eyes and gag. “I’ve missed you.”

“Ah,” you sigh. “I’m afraid I was busy. I heard it was fun. I regret not being able to be there.”

You notably don’t tell Noriko that you also missed her, and it makes Dazai’s lips quirk up in smug amusement. 

No, he stops himself, reminding himself that he’s angry at you and he should not care about any of this. In fact, he should walk away. He should. But his feet betray him, they keep him rooted to the ground when you finally turn your gaze onto him.

“Who are your new friends?” you ask casually.

Dazai has to physically stop himself from flinching at your words, the way you pretend you don’t know him, just like so many people have before. His chest aches, his throat feels swollen, and he feels embarrassed—he doesn’t even know why he feels embarrassed, but he can feel heat spread across his cheeks at your words. For a second, Dazai swears he sees regret flash through your eyes, but it’s gone so quickly that he thinks he imagined it.

“Koda Hinami.” Next to Dazai, Hinami stumbles over her words, face pink as she bows her head in respect, “It’s, uh, a pleasure to meet you…”

You don’t even acknowledge Hinami, your gaze doesn’t budge from Dazai, and you don’t offer your name at Hinami’s unspoken request for it. Hinami lets out an embarrassed noise in the back of her throat as she looks away. Dazai has half a mind to stay silent, to ignore you in the same way you ignore Hinami, but he finds his lips moving before he can stop them.

“Dazai Osamu.” He’s grateful that his voice is steadier than how he feels, cool and short, unlike the rampage of emotions tearing through his chest. 

You tilt your head to the side as you look over him. You reach out, pinching the material of his suit jacket between your fingers—as you do, your knuckles brush his bandaged skin, and Dazai has to physically withhold a shiver at the touch.

“One of Kido’s,” you note, and there’s a small smile on your lips as if you’re sharing an inside joke with him. “You must have friends in high places—he doesn’t often take appointments without referrals.”

You’re mocking him.

As if pretending he’s a stranger isn’t enough, you’re standing there mocking him too. Dazai doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry, everything feels all twisted inside of him—he wants to go home.

“Not a friend.” 

The jab is cold and pointed. It goes over the head of the other four, but he watches the way your smile falters at it, and he savors it even if he does know it hardly stings you in comparison to the knives he feels being jabbed into his chest and back.

“Hm,” is all you say in response, gaze sliding away from him as if he’s no longer of any interest to you. You look back at Hayashi and give him a smile that makes Dazai want to throw up. “Dance with me?”

Hayashi rushes to take your extended hand, fumbling over a yes, and you don’t even bother to spare another look at Dazai as you lead Hayashi onto the floor, where a few couples are already swaying around. Dazai can’t even force himself to look away from you, eyes pinned on how Hayashi’s hands rest on your hips as you wrap your arms around his neck.

Maybe he’s a bit petty when he turns to Hinami and offers his hand to her. For a second, the girl looks as if she’s going to shake her head no, too nervous to go to the dancefloor, but then other couples start taking your cue, grabbing a partner to take to the dancefloor.

“I don’t know how to dance,” Hinami whispers, panicking. “I don’t-”

“You’ll be fine,” Dazai says. “Follow my lead.”

Dazai also doesn’t know how to dance, but he thinks it should be easy enough. He observes the few people already settled on the dancefloor, watching their steps and the way they sway to the slow beat and then matches their pace and hand placement.

“I don’t know how you’re so good at this,” Hinami says quietly as he leads her in the dance. Dazai hardly pays attention to her, gaze cutting through the growing crowd of couples to find you. “I feel so in over my head. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing fine,” Dazai tells her absently, stiffening when he finally spots you not too far from him in deep conversation with Hayashi. “I don’t know what I’m doing either.”

“I don’t know if I believe that,” Hinami sighs. Dazai’s eyes linger at how low Hayashi’s hands dip down on your hips, how your heads are bowed together as you sway, speaking quietly in one another’s ear. It makes him sick, he can feel his stomach turn inside of him, he can feel something ugly and green spreading through his chest. “You look like a natural. Like you’re meant to be here with these people. I can hardly speak to any of them without stumbling over my words. I mean, did you see how that woman ignored me? … So embarrassing…”

Dazai’s breath hitches when you lift your face up a bit, so close to Hayashi that your noses almost brush. He can’t see the expression on your face, but he can see that you’re making eye contact with him, and it looks so intimate that Dazai feels that void in his chest start to spread to his limbs, his fingers feel numb and clunky against Hinami’s waist, and he nearly stumbles over one of the steps in the dance.

You look like you belong with him. High-class. Smooth. Charming. Wealthy. Dazai’s known you were out of his league since the day he met you at the bar, but actually getting a visual of what you would look like with someone of the same class as you—the people you interact with on a daily basis—makes him feel sorely inadequate. Any of the people at this event would kill for just a few seconds of your time, all of them wealthier and more influential than him, way more worth your time than a broke college student who can hardly talk himself off the edge of a bridge.

Why would he have ever thought he had a chance with you? Why would you waste any time with him? Why wouldn’t you pretend not to know him? Dazai would be embarrassed to associate with himself too. He can hardly even stand to look at himself in the mirror. 

He shouldn’t be as upset as he is. He should’ve expected this from day one. He doesn’t know why all of this hurts as much as it does.

Because it’s the first time he’s allowed himself to hope since Odasaku’s death.

The air getting to his lungs is thin and shallow. Dazai feels like he’s at the peak of a mountain where oxygen is few and far between. Hinami doesn’t seem to notice his distress from the way she’s still complaining about the event, but it’s hard for him to ground himself to the present. 

He’d allowed himself to hope.

The way you had immediately noticed his discomfort with the bandages and moved to try to make him more comfortable—no one has ever done anything like that for him, not since Odasaku died. 

The way you came to him when you were hurt. 

The way you helped him around his apartment and didn’t question the filth and mess, buying him food, replacing what he’d broken in his depressive episode.

The way you looked at him. 

The way you touched him.

The way you kissed him. 

He’d allowed himself to hope that maybe someone would accept him for who he is instead of running as soon as they see beneath the mask.

He had let himself hope. A fatal mistake. Always has been. Dazai should have known better.

Dazai needs to get out of here. He can hardly feel his fingers anymore, can feel the numbness spreading to his legs. His vision is blurring, his lungs are burning. He needs to go back home so he can let the black hole consume him in peace. He needs to be alone. He needs to-

Dazai doesn’t even notice the music tempo changing, nor the way people are swapping partners until he and Hinami are separated and drawn into a new dance. Dazai’s breath catches, caught off guard and still trying to ground himself.

“Why are you here?” 

Your voice meets his ears, quiet so as to not be heard above the music, you forcibly guide his body to move in step with yours. He stares down at you, brain not processing who’s standing in front of him. He can see the concern thinly veiled behind your eyes, the way your lips curve down.

“Dazai, snap out of it. Breathe.”

You. You’re here. You’re always here when he feels as if he’s finally going to let the void win, and Dazai just-

Dazai wants to scream.

Why are you always here to rescue him when he knows you’re just going to leave him?

“Why am I here?” Dazai finally forces himself to say, grateful that his voice is steadier than how he feels. “Why are you here? How was your trip abroad, hime?”

Any concern in your eyes disappears, and the grip you have on his waist tightens in a way that makes his breath catch. “Don’t call me that.”

Now a bit more coherent than he was when he was dancing with Hinami, he thinks he should be mortified by how you’re taking the lead. All of the other men are leading their partners in the dance, but he can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed because he’s so focused on your hand on his waist and the way your fingers are laced with his. He’s mad at you, yes, but he has to actively remind himself of that because of the way you’re holding him. 

Dazai fears he is a weak man at heart.

“How was your trip abroad?” Dazai asks again, leaving off the title this time. He wants to know if you’ll lie to him. Again.

You watch him carefully for a moment, and then you sigh, shaking your head. “Don’t ask stupid questions,” you tell him.

Dazai’s jaw tightens, throat bobbing at your words. Doesn’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that you didn’t even try to lie. Does know that it hurts hearing you admit that you lied to him. That you made up a shitty excuse so you could cut him off, ghost him like so many others have before. He lets out a shaky puff of air, shaking his own head as he tries to take a step away from you, intent on creating some distance between the two of you, but you don’t let him, your grip on his waist tightens again, hand sliding to the small of his back to force him flush to you again. His face heats up.

You tilt your head to the side as you look up at him as if daring him to make a scene. Dazai wants to. He does—just to embarrass you in front of all of your rich, upper-class friends—but more than that, he wants answers.

“Why?” he asks tightly.

“Stupid questions annoy me,” you say with a thin smile, being purposely obtuse.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Dazai refuses to humor the non-answer. “Why did you lie? Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to-”

Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to be with me?

Why did you have to give him hope?

Why did you have to be like all of the rest?

“It has nothing to do with what I want,” you finally sigh, voice quiet as you lead him into an outside spin, keeping him in pace with all of the other couples. “It’s complicated, Dazai.”

“Then uncomplicate it,” Dazai says immediately, body tense. “What did I do wrong? I thought-”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you tell him, which only frustrates Dazai more because if he’s about to get the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, he thinks he might storm right off the dancefloor, leaving you here. “It’s just complicated, Dazai. I can’t uncomplicate it.”

“That’s not fair,” Dazai murmurs. “You kissed me, you-”

“You kissed me,” you correct.

“You kissed me back,” Dazai hisses, getting annoyed, “and you initiated the second kiss.”

“Dazai-”

“You know what,” Dazai laughs to himself, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter. You’ve made it abundantly clear that you want nothing to do with me.”

“That’s not true,” you say immediately, but Dazai is already taking a step away, brushing your hand off of his waist and pulling his hand back. He can’t listen—he can’t—he can’t let himself hope again. He doesn’t know if he’ll survive it this time. “Dazai-”

“I need to go,” Dazai interrupts. 

He doesn’t wait for a response from you as he turns to walk off the floor, leaving you standing there alone. He can hardly breathe in the crowd, with you so close—he needs air. It feels shallow again, like it’s not getting to his lungs. He tells himself that this was to be expected, again, but the thought doesn’t calm him down this time. You don’t follow him off the dancefloor—he doesn’t know if he wanted you to or if it would just stress him out more.

“You’re so lucky,” a familiar voice sighs as soon as Dazai is off the dance floor. He feels unfocused as he looks at Sato. “I was trying so hard to position myself to switch with Hayashi for the partner swap.”

Dazai is annoyed. He is annoyed, and he is jealous and he is once again very acutely reminded of the fact that every single person in this room would kill for a few seconds of your time, once again very acutely reminded of his own inadequacy. He had known from day one that he didn’t have a shot with you but-

No. 

He’s not going to go down this rabbit hole again. 

“Well, she has no partner now,” Dazai says with a strained smile, ignoring the tightness in the chest and the way his vision blooms green. “You should go ask her to dance.”

Sato brightens. “You’re right,” he says, sparing a haste ‘thanks’ before rushing off to the dance floor.

Dazai doesn’t let himself linger long enough to see if you accept his extended hand, making his way out of the event room and down a nearby hall, hoping for some fresh air.

You don’t know where Dazai went, but he’s a sneaky bastard for sending Sato your way to distract you. You couldn’t blow him off without looking like an asshole, so you had to entertain him for a song before making an excuse. Dazai is nowhere to be seen now—not hanging near the walls, not hovering near the apps or drinks, not making small talk with any of the other politicians or businessmen in attendance.

Did he leave? 

No, he wouldn’t have. Your eyes trace around the room again as you make small talk with Noriko—he had to have gone somewhere, but where? You focus on a hallway leading out to the back of the city hall, tilting your head to the side. There, maybe? There are bathrooms back there, if you remember correctly, most people will probably use the ones in the entrance hall, but if he’s looking for somewhere quiet…

You excuse yourself from the conversation with Noriko and make your way across the room, careful to avoid the eyes of any of the other attendees who might try to steal you away for a talk. You get there without incident, luckily, because you think if someone tried to interrupt you, you might shatter the carefully crafted reputation you’ve built over the past six years. 

The hallway is dim and cool, a welcome reprieve from the stuffiness of the other room. You head straight for the men’s bathroom, hoping that your hunch is correct. Also hoping that there are no other men in the bathroom because that would be awkward—and you’d have to do some serious explaining because you can’t have anyone know you’re seeking out Dazai. 

You think you’ve done a pretty decent job in making sure people don’t realize you knew him before the event. Noriko and Hayashi have no suspicions, and if anyone was going to pick it up, it would be those two. You were casual enough with the positioning of the partner switch that it didn’t look like you were intentionally seeking him out, but you could see the way he was thinking himself into a panic attack, the girl with him obliviously babbling on as Dazai struggled to breathe. You suppose him being mad at you is preferable to him thinking himself into an abyss, but it’s just not settling right with you. 

You think that this is a mistake—you should let him think that you want nothing to do with him, should let him hate you and resent you so he can move on with his life—so why are you still turning down the hallway to get to the men’s bathroom? 

You blame Dazai. If he hadn’t shown up at this event and all but shoved himself in your face, purposely antagonized you by shoving that stupid civilian girl in your face, then everything would be fine. You would’ve evaded the places he frequents in Hodogaya-ku, and you’d have never crossed paths with him again. Both of you could’ve moved on with your lives as if you’d never met each other—but now-

You’re almost angry as you shove open the door to the men’s bathroom. 

No, you are angry, and it isn’t just because he’s shown up to the event and fucked up your plan to keep him out of your life. It’s also because you know why he’s here, and he’s a lot stupider than you thought he was. The suit for the event he’d mentioned his journalism professor wanted him to attend and the question about the bill… He’s here to gather intel for that professor of his, and the only reason why a bunch of students would be sent to an event like this in lieu of the actual journalists themselves is because they’re trying to seek out information that wouldn’t be easily acquired by known faces. Whether that’s information about insider opinions on the new bill or something else, it’s dangerous business. If the opinion of the wrong person gets out to the media and the public, there’ll be a witch hunt trying to figure out who let it loose, and all eyes will be on the unfamiliar faces. 

All eyes will be on Dazai.

He’s stupid.

The door slams against the wall hard, and your gaze cuts to the side, hardly focusing on Dazai’s surprised expression as he straightens from where he’s leaning over the sink. Your attention shifts from him to the stalls, making sure each of them is empty before shutting the door behind you and locking it.

“No,” Dazai says, shaking his head, jaw tight as he moves to leave the bathroom.

Your eye twitches when he tries to push past you and all of the rising frustration you’ve felt the past few weeks snaps like a taut cord that has been pulled at too much. Your hands dart out to grab his waist, fingers hooking in the belt loops to stop him before he can get past you. You watch as his eyes widen as you tug him closer before slamming him back against the bathroom door hard.

“What are you doing here?” you ask again, ignoring the look he’s giving you, lips parted in shock and pupils blown wide as he stares down at you. “Dazai, what are you doing here?”

Finally, he’s drawn out of whatever stupor he’s in, scoffing and looking away from you but not pushing you away.

“Really? You just came here to interrogate me some more?” he says bitterly. “Don’t you have better things to do? I’m sure there are plenty of people out there more worthy of your time.”

“What are you even talking about?” you ask, irritated. “I couldn’t care less about any of them. Stop avoiding the question, why are you here?”

Dazai looks conflicted at your words, and you don’t know why, but it’s really starting to piss you off. You feel like you should step away from him, give some space, but you can’t bring yourself to move. In fact, your grip on his slacks tightens.

“I told you I had that event to attend for my journalism class, I-”

“You didn’t tell me this was the event-”

“You didn’t ask! What does it matter?” Dazai demands, glaring at you.

You inhale sharply and let go of his belt loops, taking a step back, but Dazai doesn’t move to leave. He stays leaning against the bathroom door, staring at you as he waits for a response, but you don’t even know how to respond.

“It matters,” you finally say without giving any context, which evidently pisses him off from how he lets out a sharp puff of air.

“Why does it matter?” Dazai asks, raising his voice in a way that stresses you out because if anyone happens to come down this hall and find you in the bathroom with him, it’s going to cause issues. “Why does-Why won’t you explain anything? Why did you lie about going abroad? Why does it matter that I’m here?”

“Because you shouldn’t be here,” you hiss, not wanting to expand on it, but you can see the frustration rising on Dazai’s face, and you think it’s more important not to have him screeching for people to overhear. “Dazai, don’t you think there’s a reason that your professor didn’t come to this event himself and with his trained colleagues?”

Something shifts onto Dazai’s expression that you don’t like—a strange look caught between suspicion and wariness that you take note of. You misspoke somewhere but where? This conversation is risky—you don’t even know what his professor sent him and his classmates to get information about, how they were prepped for it, or what information they were given. What a mess.

“What are you talking about?” Dazai asks in a way that lets you know that he’s onto something.

You don’t respond for a moment, choosing your words carefully. “What do you think will happen if an unsavory opinion of one of these politicians gets out to the media, Dazai? These people have more money than you could ever dream of, connections with-” You cut yourself off abruptly, staring at him for a moment before saying tightly. “Connections with all types of people. Good and bad. They’ll find out who spread what was spoken at this event.”

“Isn’t this suit supposed to help me blend in?” His voice is so snide that you almost want to smack him. If he were anyone else-

You don’t even finish that thought. He’s not anyone else. He’s Dazai Osamu, a stupid civilian who has managed to worm his way into your life, for better or for worse. 

“Sure,” you agree tightly. “It makes them less concerned about your presence at the moment. But once they have something to be concerned about, you know who they’re going to remember? The boy in a poorly tailored suit who spoke too loudly and with far too many people. The girl in a thirty dollar dress from Muji who stumbled over all of her words and the boy that she latched herself onto.”

“And what exactly are they going to do if they figure out who leaked their shitty opinions?” Dazai asks, a challenging expression on his face as if he knows what the answer is but wants to hear you say it out loud. “Ui-sensei said-”

Ui. There aren’t many journalists with the surname Ui and if they’re here at this event…

“Ui?” you ask cooly. “Don’t tell me you mean Ui Koutarou.”

The surprise that flashes through Dazai’s eyes tells you all you need to know, and you can’t help the scoff you let out, a bitter feeling spreading through your chest. Ui Koutarou, one of the senior journalists at the Ivory Eagle—a group that’s been relentlessly trying to pin down the Mori Corporation as the business front for the Port Mafia. 

Is that what this is? 

The thought is as haunting as it is jarring, realizing that maybe this has all just been some giant scheme that you fell right into. You know the man has been trying to expose you as an executive of the Port Mafia—the first stepping stone of taking down the Port Mafia. Is that why Dazai attached himself to you so quickly? Pushed into it by his professor as a means to get proof of your affiliation with the Mafia? You’d assumed maybe it was your ability at work, making him more comfortable around you, and since he was so lonely, he ended up attaching himself to you but… this would make more sense, wouldn’t it? 

Dazai is a lot smarter than he makes himself out to be, a lot more observant and perceptive; you knew that day when you showed up at his apartment wounded that he was seeking out information about you. He could’ve been asking about the military bill to prepare himself for this event but… could he have been asking about it because Ui Koutarou is using him as a puppet to corner you? To get the proof that he needs?

You don’t want to believe it, but the passive form of your ability isn’t strong enough to create such a dependency even on the weakest of minds… and this makes a lot more sense than someone liking you for who you are.

You don’t say anything else, unwilling to incriminate yourself anymore than you already have. You’re sure Dazai must have some idea of who you are by now—maybe not exactly, but there’s no shot that he doesn’t have a clue as to your real occupation, and if you keep running your mouth, it’s only a matter of time before you hand him the proof Ui Koutarou needs on a silver platter. 

So, instead, you shake your head and walk back to the door, unlocking it so you can go back to the event hall.

Dazai grabs your wrist before you can. His grip is weak enough that you could pull out of it if you want, but you don’t. You don’t turn to look at him, waiting to hear what he has to say.

“Can’t you just tell me what I did wrong?” His voice wobbles a bit as he speaks, you can feel the way his fingers are trembling on your wrist. God, it’s so believable—you remember the way he kissed you, unsure and hesitant, breath shaky. No one is that good of an actor. “I did something again just now, why won’t you just tell me? I want to-”

You don’t want to hear the rest of that sentence, so instead, you look back at him and watch as the words die on his tongue. The look he gives you is confused and desperate, pleading with you to help him understand.

“If you know what’s good for you, Dazai, you’ll forget you came here tonight and won’t do another job for a man who’s willing to put three stupid kids on the line to save his own ass,” you say and Dazai’s brows furrow, he looks impossibly more confused as he waits for you to explain, protests and questions on the tip of his tongue.

You leave before he can get any of them out.

Dazai’s head spins as he leaves the event hall. He tries to seek you out again, but you’re nowhere to be found, so he finds himself wandering the edges of the event hall, unsure of what to do. Mishima Noriko is missing, too, he can’t help but notice with a tight feeling in his chest. Hayashi and Sato are speaking quietly to one another by the refreshments table, heads dipped together and serious expressions on their faces.

“Dazai,” Ayato calls, making his way over to where Dazai is standing.

After your words, Dazai can’t help but wince at how loud his voice is in comparison to the other attendees of the event. It’s glaringly obvious now that it’s been pointed out to him—even when he lowers his voice, there’s a jarring cadence that’s stark compared to the smooth tones of the other people here. 

Hinami is with him too, Dazai realizes, watching as the girl comes over to Dazai’s side, looking between the two of them before asking: “Are you ready to head out?”

No, Dazai wants to say, throat swollen and stomach churning. He doesn’t know when he’ll see you again if he leaves now. Doesn’t know if he’ll see you again. This might be his last chance and he’s so frustrated and lost. He wants answers from you—more than that, he wants you. 

He wants you.

You didn’t explain why you lied to him. You hardly explained why you were so mad about him being at the event. You clearly know who his professor is, you’re clearly unhappy about Dazai working with him, and you made a cryptic comment about how he’s putting Dazai and his classmates on the line to save his own ass.

Does that mean you know? Do you know what information that they’re trying to uncover at this event? You kind of implied it, didn’t you? You implied that a lot of the politicians in the Diet have affiliations with criminal organizations because what else could that ‘good and bad’ comment have meant? But how could you possibly know that? How could you know unless-

Dazai’s mind drifts back to all of the suspicions that had been floating through his head, letting out a heavy breath. Shit, could you really be-

“Dazai,” Hinami prods, nudging his shoulder, but before Dazai can make an excuse about staying longer, the entire building shakes.

Dazai nearly topples right over, barely catching himself on the wall behind him. His eyes are wide as he looks around the room, watching as people shriek and dive for cover. Again? The second one in a few days?

“Come on,” Ayato grabs his wrist, and Dazai instantly draws back, not expecting the sudden touch. “Dazai, come on. Ui-sensei’s been texting. He’s panicked about something, we’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Texting about what?” Dazai asks, casting one last longing look around the room, a last-ditch attempt to seek you out, only to find himself empty-handed again, shaking his head as he follows the other two out of the building. “What’s going on?”

“We don’t know,” Hinami says as they slip out of the building into the front parking lot. “Just said we needed to get out before things started going down.”

“Crazy that the earthquake happens right as he tells us that,” Ayato notes. “What are the chances?”

What are the chances? 

Unless it’s not an earthquake, Dazai thinks, taking a deep breath of the cool air outside, mind racing as he thinks back to the day you showed up at his apartment, the cryptic comment about the earthquake. You acted like you didn’t know that it was an earthquake, but Dazai had a strong gut feeling that you knew exactly what it was and it wasn’t an earthquake. And Ayato is right; what are the chances it happens twice, and both times you’re around for it? The first time, you seem to know what’s going on but try to evade talking about it; the second time, you mysteriously disappear right as it takes place.

It’s suspicious. Everything about this is suspicious, and Dazai just doesn’t know what to think. He wishes that he had more time to talk to you, that you hadn’t rushed off as soon as he mentioned Professor Ui—and that’s suspicious, too, because Professor Ui sent them here to try to get some intel on one of the big mafias in Tokyo so…

Dazai can’t even finish sorting out his scrambled thoughts because a familiar van is pulling up to the front steps of the city hall. The door is sliding open and Dazai can’t stop himself from looking back one last time before he’s being ushered into the back of the van by Hinami and Ayato. Professor Ui is already waiting inside for them, brows creased and a frown on his lips—an expression that instantly has Dazai on edge. 

“Ui-sensei, what’s going on?” Hinami asks softly as Ayato pulls the back doors of the van closed. Slightly alarmed, Dazai watches as Professor Ui instantly motions for the driver to get going. “Is something wrong?” 

Dazai’s stomach lurches as the van flies over a bump, gaze focused on Professor Ui as he taps furiously at his phone. His voice is a bit tighter than he intends for it to be when he asks, “Aren’t you going to tell us what’s going on?” 

“We got a tip-off that the Port Mafia was going to be in attendance at this event at the last second,” Professor Ui finally says, sitting up in his seat as he focuses his attention on the three of them. Dazai stiffens, mind racing back to Mishima Noriko and her last minute attendance of the event when she heard that you were attending, mind racing back to his piling suspicions of you. “We also got a tip-off that there was going to be a major conflict between them and one of the Tokyo-based Yakuza syndicates tonight. We wanted to get you out of there before it happened.”

“What?” Ayato sounds far too excited for Dazai’s liking; he gives the other man a heavy side-eye before focusing back on Professor Ui. “A gang fight is breaking out tonight? Wouldn’t that have been the best chance to get the proof?”

Best chance to get killed more like it, Dazai thinks, hardly withholding an eye roll as he keeps his gaze pinned on their professor. He can’t help the way his heart is skipping around with anxiety; he finds himself nervous for you, remembering how you abruptly disappeared from the event.

“Too dangerous,” Professor Ui shakes his head. “The fight has already broken out. Did you feel that quake?” 

“The earthquake?” Hinami asks curiously.

“Not an earthquake,” Professor Ui says dryly, grabbing his laptop and clicking a few times before turning the laptop to face them. Dazai’s gaze focuses on the screen, frowning at the blurry image of a man with red hair and an ugly hat. “From what we know, that was the ability of this man. We believe he’s an executive of the Port Mafia, the gravity manipulator. He’s been at the top of the country’s most wanted list for three years since he leveled all of Izumi-ku; hard to track down because he’s frequently in the west. They say he’s currently the strongest ability user in the world.”

“Tacky hat,” Dazai mutters absently, ignoring the looks he receives for the comment.

He’s ignored.

“I didn’t see him at the event,” Ayato announces, leaning back in his seat. “I made a lot of rounds too. Maybe your tip was off.”

“He wasn’t the executive in attendance,” Professor Ui says firmly.

Dazai’s heart drops to his feet. His professor flips the laptop back around, and Dazai can hardly breathe as he clicks through again. It feels like an eternity before the clicking stops, and he can hardly even drag his gaze back to the screen. 

Dazai knows what it’s going to show him before the computer is even turned toward them again. Doesn’t need to hear him say your name. Doesn’t need to see your face on the screen.

He looks anyway.

Your smile is foreign—unkind, almost—and the expression on your face is much cooler and unapproachable than what he’s become used to. You look beautiful, you always look beautiful, but he feels sick to his stomach at the sight of you when he’s usually dizzy with how much he’s enamored by you. His ears ring as he tries to tune into what Professor Ui is saying.

“... presents as vice-chair of the board of the Mori Corporation, suspected of being an executive of the Port Mafia… -sing her position within the Mafia would be the easiest way of exposing the Mori Corporation for what it is considering how public of a figure she is… say that Mafia affiliates tend to refer to her as hime in recognition of her position as heir…”

Dazai doesn’t care to hear anymore. He ignores the way Hinami stares at him with wide eyes, ignores when Professor Ui asks if any of them managed to speak to her at all, ignores everything as he stares at the damning image of you on that screen, confirming all of the suspicions he’s discarded over the past few weeks of knowing you.

Suddenly, for better or for worse, all of the peculiarities that he’s noted about you begin to make sense—everything from your ungodly wealth to how evasive you were about why you lied to him about going abroad, saying it’s too complicated to explain when he begged you to tell him why you lied. 

Shit.

There are too many emotions ricocheting through his chest and mind for him to pinpoint all of them, but as he looks back to the direction they’d left, knowing that whatever conflict is taking place there, you’re at the center of it, one emotion stands out above all of the rest—fear.

[jackiepackiee]

Hello! Could I request a Chuuya x reader story (no AU please) where she is someone important like a princess, and they hire the best executive to protect her when she goes to Yokohama? 🩷🩷

𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶 𝓍 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 - 𝓂𝒶𝒻𝒾𝒶

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎

The royal family would do anything to protect their daughter, anything. Including hiring one of the most feared men in all of Yokohama from one of the most dangerous organizations in the world.

The port mafia, with some of the most dangerous executives.

Chuuya Nakahara, that name just yelled power.

Your family was their on business, and most of the guards needed to protect the other members. Only the most trusted, highly trained, powerful people were to be working for the family.

The meeting was set late at night. One of the high floors in the port mafias headquarters. Safe to say, you didn’t exactly expect skyscrapers. But here you were, being accompanied by a woman named Kouyou to meet your new bodyguard.

“You’ll like him, I’m sure of it. He’s a gentleman.”

You looked over, this was the first time she had spoken to you.

Looking to your feet, you didn’t respond.

“I can sense you’re nervous. About meeting him I presume?” She was calm, very easy to talked to.

“I’m afraid to say I’m a bit on edge. Never have I been protected by a stranger.”

The elevator opened, sleek floors of polished marble were to be expected of the meeting floor for a princess.

“Follow me, he should be with our boss in the main office.”

Shoes clicked as the two of you walked. Hers much more confident than yours.

Then, you met with a group of bodyguards in front of some wooden doors. They swung open, revealing a ginger man. He was facing the wide windows overlooking the port city. Adorn in a very expensive looking suit. Very well dressed was he, kinda cute too.

Next to him was a seated man, supposedly the boss. Mori. He noticed you and Kouyou first.

“Well, we have been expecting you.”

Chuuya turned around to see who he was speaking with. He waved politely to Kouyou before taking you in. So simple, yet so classy.

Even if you knew you should’ve said hi to the boss, you focused on your new bodyguard. And he was just as focused on you.

“Chuuya, this is your new assignment.”

He smiled, and tilted his head as a greeting.

“Hey princess.”

Leaving the office, he walked next to you. It was awfully quiet.

“Where are we going?”

“Eh? Oh, just your new place. It’s nice, and right next to mine.”

You looked at him from your peripheral, then back to the floor with speed when he looked at you too.

“Nervous? That’s alright, I’ll protect ya.”

“I’m… not nervous.”

He laughed, well more of a quick one.

“Why is that, princess?”

“You seem very strong…”

You didn’t mean to be so honest. Shit, what if he-

“Thank you. You know, how about we tour the city first? I’m sure it’s your first time in Japan.”

“How can you tell?”

“I have a feeling~”

You felt butterflies in your stomach, was he teasing? Why did this wanted criminal have to be so damn alluring?

“And I have a feeling you’ve never been around a princess with those manners of yours.”

He froze, and quickly stopped smirking. Until you laughed. When he realized you were teasing too, he rolled his eyes playfully.

“You’re feisty. Good thing, I thought this mission would have me walking on egg shells with everything I do.”

Soon, a group of men walked by. They stared at you, obviously not the stares you would want. And hell, was Chuuya pissed.

“The fuck you looking at? Damn underlings, move those eyes before I crush you!”

They quickly looked away, terrified. No wonder he was your bodyguard.

“Say princess, how about that tour?”

He took you through the city. It was beautiful, the port was cool and calming. The ocean smell was like a lullaby.

It was alright, until a group of thugs saw you. An enemy organization.

He grabbed your hand, and hid you in his coat. Gun shots went off, and you thought that was it. You were good at dead.

Until, no bullets hit you.

Screams from the men. You try to look, but he pulls you to his chest.

“No, I’ve got you. No need to look. Stay right here, pretty.”

You hadn’t noticed you started shaking, the guns obviously scaring you.

“Let’s go to where you’re staying. A nice, warm bed.”

Had you started, floating? What in the world?

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ll get you back.”

Soon, the cool air went away. And so did the noise of the city.

He moved your body gently away from his, and your feet met the ground.

“Where are we?”

“My plac- I mean, where you’ll be staying.”

“It’s warm.”

“Let’s get you to bed, princess.”

[reshinless]

may i ask (politely) for a chuuya x reader where his lover is just like- in the nicest way possible, a mix of a german shepard person and a calico cat. They are just the sweetest person, yet also can get upset if called out or someone insults those close to them (as in full on plotting a murder but is too sweet to actually go through with it) like just a normal day story pls- if they were also a pm member I'd love you to the moon-

─── my only one, moon and sun..

𝜗𝜚 synopsis. the sweetest ever!!!... plus chuuya i guess /j (chuuya x really nice reader

𝜗𝜚 pairings. chuuya x gn!reader

𝜗𝜚 director's notice. HIII I LOVE THIS IDEA SM. ty for sending this in. IM SO SORRY THAT I COULDN'T MAKE READER A PM MEMB I COULDN'T FIND A SILLY NICE CUTE WAY TO WRITE FOR THEM :( i wanted to do like a lil story b4 the actual thing so i'm sorry.. you can say i got a little carried away (i forgot the prompt) follow & rb to support ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ

pre-relationship!chuuya who was surprised by how undeniably sweet you were to him. didn't you know how dangerous he was?

pre-relationship!chuuya who had just helped you from a robber who tried to snatch your bag. you were just sweet enough to invite him out for dinner as a thank you

and boy was pre-relationship!chuuya all over the idea. although enamoured by the mere thought of being out with someone who was everything he ever looked for in someone, he kept refusing, not wanting to take up any of your precious time. but you were stubborn, and firmly insisted on taking him out. and god did he like that.

pre-relationship!chuuya who'd already forgotten the meeting he was supposed to attend at 7:00pm sharp. it's already 8 and he's still talking with you. but of course, he didn't wanna make the interest too obvious, but subtle enough to notice.

and finally when you two exit the restaurant, pre-relationship!chuuya's eyes can't help but broaden as you tell him 'thank you'. damn he hasn't heard that in forever. awkwardly had to look away, gosh this was the first- no it wasn't even a damn date! and his face was already dusted with pink.

"look it's fine.. really it is.. it's what any good person would've done seeing your situation." ( ˶°ㅁ°) !! "but i still want to say it. i still want to tell you thank you. not many people are good nowadays, you know." (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ )

although before pre-relationship!chuuya didn't wanna make it obvious, definitely wanted another dinner like this with you.

"...say how about i walk you home? the least i could do after dinner. wouldn't want your purse/bag to get stolen again do we?" (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ a brief chuckle from you, and a smile forms. damn is it just him or were you just smiling at him? "sure! chuuya right?" "y-yeah! yeah! yes!"

safe to say that wouldn't be the last time pre-relationship!chuuya walked you home. he'd make sure it wasn't at least.

boyfriend!chuuya who suddenly had the need to let you spend all his money. even if you refused. that's so honestly why he fell for you in the first place.

boyfriend!chuuya who followed you into any store you went to, card in hand, and suggested to buy anything you picked up.

boyfriend!chuuya who was minding his own business while accompanying you to the cute little fruit mugs over there 'till two rude girls who were suddenly arriving in the same aisle as you both were in

"oh my gosh.. no way that girl is going out with a man so small.." "yeah literally.. i would never have said yes. can't believe there are actually women that prefer men below 6ft!"

boyfriend!chuuya's whose eyes twitched hearing what they'd just said, but then decided not to mind them. if he'd learned anything from you, he wouldn't say anything back.

but you never said you wouldn't talk back.

"what do you mean? he's nicer than your deadbeat father for sure."

the two girls gave a look of disgust but quickly left. and your expression, well more like your demeanor changed as they did.

"we should get the banana and strawberry ones, right? let's match!" "huh? oh yeah sure."

boyfriend!chuuya is still stunned from what you said, but ended up just muttering an "yeah sure" before you both paid and left the store.

boyfriend!chuuya who asked why did you defend him, even when you weren't trashtalked about, after you both left and got ice cream.

"well we're partners now right? no one should talk about you like that. besides, you aren't that short." ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- "of course i am not!!" ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭

boyfriend!chuuya who loves it so much when you defend him after that interaction. you aren't afraid to assert yourself to others. you aren't afraid to tell them something bad in return. and damn was it hot to see how you looked confronting anyone who had insulted either of you two.

boyfriend!chuuya who's so in love with you what a silly little guy

GN ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE WRITTEN FOR BSD..! i hope this was somewhat coordinated with the prompt dear anon

[wizardfrog69]

Helllooo! Could you write Ranpo, Fyodor, Chuuya, and Dazai (separately) meeting S/O’s family please? The classic family, overprotective dad and overprotective big brother, welcoming mother, the playful little kid siblings? How would the boys react to the family?

So idk what the "classic" family is so sorry if it looks like I have no idea what I'm doing, it's because I don't, but I'll try my best! :)

So I'm gonna add a grandmother cuz it's funny, she's gonna be the type who makes a shit ton of food and expects you to eat everything and constantly asks if you need more, you know the one. If you do not, I sincerely apologise.

Thank you for your request!

'•.¸♡meeting your family♡¸.•'

Gn!reader

Fluff

Masterlist

Enjoy!

Feat. Ranpo, Fyodor, Chuuya, Dazai.

Ranpo Edogawa

Meeting your family with Ranpo was a disaster, mainly because of Ranpo. He would constantly boast about himself being the greatest detective (and boyfriend) he didn't do it too often but he still mentioned it once or twice.

If your mother made something sweet he would be all in and love her and in turn she'll love him and fucking spoil him.

Your father and older brother weren't as pleased with him as your mother, Ranpo wasn't the most possessive type but when people acted like they owned you that is when he got pissed.

He would never dream of acting inappropriately round your parents but whenever his eyes met your fathers or older brothers he would snake his hand round your arm.

He didn't care all that much for your younger sibling(s), he probably got them something because you forced him to

He fucking loves your grandma. I mean how could he not when she constantly makes sooo much cake and amazing food!! She is his favourite relative of yours.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Fuck everyone is low key intimated by his presence. You probably told them there is nothing to be scared of before you introduced him to them. Fyodor is not trying to be intimating tho! He just .... has a vibe yk.

He brought some nice wine and flowers for your mother and whatever your father likes for him, maybe like some whisky or something probably.

He talks politics and other respectful topics your family chooses to talk about. Idk what people choose to talk about but usually we talk about history and politics, I think Fyodor will gladly talk about those topics.

It doesn't matter if your older brother is older, younger or your fucking twin, Fyodor will always seem older and more mature.

If your younger sibling is like 1 it will absolutely shit itself when they see him, they are fucking terrified.

He will compliment the cooking 100% I mean who wouldn't tbh but he definitely will.

I know I'm saying that everyone loves the grandmother but like why wouldn't he?!??!?! He would love raising a child who has a grandmother who freezes a shit ton of cake and makes the best god damn cooking you have ever taste.

Also, he wouldn't call your mother 'mom' but rather 'mother' or 'мать' (mat') which means mother in Russian if I'm not mistaken

Chuuya Nakahara

He wants to make the best first impression he can.

He'll dress up all nicely and everything! He brings some nice (and expensive) wine as an offering to your family.

He gets along with your brother the best, they are besties now! He also tries to get along with your younger siblings as much as he can but it's hard to be friends with a child when you aren't one yk.

If he was asked for his occupation he obviously won't say the fucking mafia, he made something up on the spot but the only thing he could come up with was bartender for some reason.

Your mother wasn't too fond of him but quickly grew to like him since you loved him so much.

Your father and Chuuya started talking about some team they both watch and that is mostly how they bonded.

Osamu Dazai

You had to force him to bring something nice for your parents as well.

He kept on complaining and whining about meeting them but once you got there it was as if he was a completely different person, he was nice and didn't ask anyone to commit double suicide?!?!?! Like who is this man!

He wooed your mother to like him which was pretty easy the more difficult task was getting the rest of your family to like him.

Honestly he probably just had to tell your younger siblings he was a detective and they are interested to listen to all the cool stories he has.

If your mother tells him to call her mom he will definitely call her mom like 24/7 not because it's rude to call her by her name but because he gets to have a mother to call 'mom'.

Also he wants to call your father 'daddy' just for the laughs but he won't, he calls him 'dad'.

He doesn't call your brother 'brother', 'bro' maybe but not brother.

After meeting your whole family and coming back for dinner or something he would come into the kitchen shout 'grandma' with open arms ready to give her a hug. He's lucky she wasn't cooking at the moment.

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

Sorry I haven't posted anything, life's keeping me busy °^°

Have a wonderful day/night!

-Love, Az

[gildeddlily]

needing a real backstory for kunikida

"he was a math teacher" it's the shadiest thing I've ever heard

saw a video with "christmas kids" by roar on my fyp, with basically traumatized ada and fukuzawa being the dad everybody headcanon him as, and all the comments were like "and then there's kunikida the ex math teacher"

... there are people out there who consider kunikida as the normal and non-mentally-ill detective? the "only normal one"? man's one of the less normal of the group, and the thing that helps making him so strange is his damned backstory

the non existing one, yeah

(and he wasn't really a math teacher, he dropped out of college and was a teacher like two days a week, it was just a side job)

he's the most passionate about protecting people and the one who most values their life (yes, the kids getting killed and bombed, yes. he is deeply traumatized, yes), and everyone thinks of him as the best person at the agency, Ranpo made it clear in season 3.

(his morals are... even if you don't like the concept of morals, he's a little fucked up like anyone else. he's the one who was ready to leave a homeless 18ys orphan on the streets cause he could have caused troubles to the agency (at the end he did but he deserved all the love in the world so nothing against him) and proceeded to attacked said orphan in a restaurant and in front of everyone when atsushi said he knew something about one of their cases. So yeah, just the way he's always screaming ab "the agency reputation" is kinda suspicious, especially when he doesn't consider asl something dangerous for their reputation tackling a teenager on the floor. he cares about the agency's reputation, but in his own personal way)

(he's about to break atsushi's arm like it's a spaghetto. even if he just wanted it to be an... incentive to talk, it was mad man. dazai osamu had to stop him)

(or the oh so famous mischaracterization where he's the most polite person in the world? he's there talking shit about dazai every two panels, and ends up being rude to almost everyone)

or just his relationship with dazai.

he hates the way dazai always tries new suicide methods and talks abou it while they're working (we all know he hates it cause he cares but let him think we believe he does it just "for the agency reputation") but he doesn't hate Dazai. one thing I hate is fanfictions where Kunikida is a fucking asshole who treats Dazai badly for no reason (the "stop nagging me" trend cause he tells dazai to work? that's literally the most normal thing ever happened in this story).

He respects him and recognise his intellect and EVIDENTLY trusts him. just this part up here, it's the first chapter and he has that look that just tells "im gonna trust for this" (we know you care for him stoop) (not comparing them to soukoku, that's another thing. stop talking shit about one of the two partnership just because you ignore the bond both chuuya and kunikida share with that lucky man) (wish I was him)

(and Dazai definitely has some sort of respect for him. Kunikida has been exposed, like everyone else, to some real atrocities and still respects his ideals in every way he can, and from Dazai perception he's the definition of human, just like Chuuya. I like to think that the years spent with Chuuya teached him a lot of things like this, and him more than anyone else would respect the strength Kunikida has. he probably still think of him as a little naive, but is our man really so innocent? he knows that his ideals cannot always be respected. he doesn't believe in a stupid utopia where the world he wish for is real, and he makes compromises with this truth)

(love the duo)

his respect for Fukuzawa is the thing (with his ability) that messes everything up even more. he hates authority (gonna kin him rn) and is something almost foregone, since he values so much human's life. it's impossible for him to enjoy something like politics and politicians with the way he lives, and at the same time he respects so deeply Fukuzawa, that is in fact authority to him.

so

some could say it's because Fukuzawa trained him so they know each other but than how did fukuzawa starts training a college student? how the hell did these two met?

I refuse to think it was something normal like idk, Kunikida was interested in martial arts and met him and they drank something together. and even if it was something "innocent", fukuzawa's history with dealing with teenagers (kunikida joined the agency before he was twenty) is "you're traumatized, I am too, let's become a family and heal each other" (not really but almost just trust me) so yes, he saw something in kunikida so he wasn't just a nobody who ended up here like nothing

maybe Fukuzawa knew that he was what the Agency needed, someone so strong and human, ready to die for what he believed in, working with people who all had a twisted sense of morality

he's so silly

and his ability.

just

yeah he has the "poor growing up" vibes (and I say it as someone who is definitely not rich and has had their bad months) and I believe in the "abilities generated from trauma" theory, so someone who can create small and daily things out of paper definitely had a problem having them in other ways, and used his ability to survive. so stop saying he's not traumatized, everybody in this manga is so shut up

(we need the real backstory) (we're not gonna get it cause Asagiri at the end of fifteen wrote a paragraph talking ab how he loves to see fans making headcanons. so yeah gonna headcanon his childhood till I'm dead)

(his relationship with Katai is suspicious, I'm not talking about our man obvious homosexuality but the bond itself. gotta work more ab them) (I'm joking) (or am I)

[meowzersl]

HIIIIII! I’m glad you got your request to work. Anyways onto the request…

Could you do Chuuya with someone who joined the PM (as Kouyous subordinate) and they quickly became close, until it turns out they were betraying the PM the whole time and just using it for info while they were part of a terrorist organisation (like the DOA or smth).

I know this is kinda oddly specific but roll with it, after/ if you do this one I’ll probably send in more!

I love this idea. Idk if it is oddly specific I enjoy it a lot.

Chuuya x New PM member reader (that turns out to be a traitor)

Tw: Idk

The news spread fast around the Port Mafia of a new member, like high school students with drama. This member was one of Kouyou's subordinates, and Chuuya was a bit interested in this new person and who they were. The day came when Chuuya got to meet that person and see what they were like. He sat there, comfortably, on a chair as he daydreamed about what he should do after work. His foot tapped off the floor as he stared at the ceiling. His train of thought was suddenly cut off by the sight of Kouyou entering the room. It wasn't hard to notice her and her black-and-pink kimono with red spider lilies as its pattern with a maroon bow/ribbon along with white borders and bellflower patterns. "Chuuya, it's nice to see you," she said as her voice rang through the quiet room.

"So there is a new member, huh?" Chuuya replied as he turned to Kouyou.

"Correct, I have them with me right now. You can come in now," she said towards the door. Walked in was the new member. "Hello," you said in a polite voice. "I'm (your name), the new member of the Port Mafia and Kouyou's subordinate." Chuuya first had a good look at you, taking in all of the details. He then fixed his hat before standing up.

"Chuuya Nakahara," He took out his hand for you to shake. Without hesitation, you took his hand and shook it.

From that day, your and Chuuya's bond has grown fast, like wildfire. He grew a liking to you and the way you do things. He often hangs out with you whenever he's bored, if he's mad he'll tell you, and he's just grown onto you and you've just rubbed off of him in a good way. He trusts you a lot and respects the things you do. Chuuya grew feelings for you, strong, unbreakable feelings for you. And you did too.

Chuuya was walking around the Port Mafia headquarters, bored. Suddenly you caught his attention and he went over to you, hoping that you would help his boredom. "Hey, you want to go out and do something with me?" "I'm bored and I don't want to go over to the stupid Waste of Bandage's house just to have a drink with him," Chuuya said as his fingers rubbed at his hat a bit.

"Sure, I don't have anything to do anyways," you replied with a smile. So then you and Chuuya walked around Yokohama for a bit, talking about things.

"Y'know, I never thought I would enjoy a new member of the Port Mafia, but I enjoy you a lot," Chuuya said as his blue eyes were set on buildings, looking at them. It was silent for a bit before Chuuya spoke up again. "I trust you a lot y'know. Unlike some people like that damn, stupid Waste of Bandages," he grumbled at the end.

"I'm glad that you like me a lot. I was afraid I would fit in or anything," you replied. You felt bad. You felt bad knowing that you were just using him, using everyone. Still you went on many missions with him to gain more info.

You thought you were safe, that nobody would figure out that you were a traitor. Mori was a smart, cruel man. He somehow found out that you were a traitor and wanted to deal with pesky rats like you. Chuuya was fumbled when he heard the news. Someone he trusted a lot was a traitor. He felt denial but soon had to face the cruel truth. Chuuya knew what would happen to you. He knew that the Port Mafia wasn't something that you could just easily betray and get away with.

The Mafia's modus operandi for traitors is to first force them to bite the curb and then deliver the kick to the back of the head, shattering their jaw. As the victim writhes in pain, they turn the poor soul around and fire three shots in the chest. The thought of that happening to you rocked Chuuya. He felt angry, sad, and betrayed. He trusted you so much and yet here you were betraying the Port Mafia.

You felt so much fear when you found out that you were caught. You knew you would be killed, but you didn't know how gruesome the punishment would be. planned to run away from the Port Mafia and not get caught but that's a hard task to achieve.

You were running away from the Port Mafia but accidentally ran into Chuuya. "(your name)?" Chuuya said surprised. You didn't know how to react.

"Heyyyy... Chuuya," you slightly panicked. Chuuya sighed. His face softened and he put one hand on his hip.

"I-... I'll let you go. I won't turn you in," Chuuya said softly. "I'm angry and betrayed but I'll let you off the hook. Just don't expect me to forgive you." You were surprised at how he let you off the hook like that. You thanked him, kissing him on the cheek before running off. Chuuya smiled sadly. He hoped you wouldn't be caught and get away successfully. His heart ached at the thought of never being able to see you again, but it was for the best. He sighed and walked towards the PM headquarters, the sun setting nicely on the horizon.

This was a bit rushed because I was tired 🥲

[nonhumen]

@chaosbled : “ Ah, Dazai-san. I’m so glad you decided to call. ” A polite, unfamiliar voice answered Chuuya’s cell phone. “ Though I’m rather perplexed as to why your contact is ‘Mackerel Bastard’. Anyways, we seem to be having a conundrum. You see, when my informant told me the Port Mafia would be conducting a raid on my weapon’s cache this evening, I was expecting you. Having your Boss’ right-hand man as leverage would have been a far more desirable outcome than your partner here. Instead, your partner came alone. ” A sigh that sounded almost out out left the man on the other end of the call. “ But we’re trying to make the best of a bad situation, I don’t know if you can hear— ”

Static crackling could be heard, followed by the loud rattling of chains. “ Don’t fucking touch me, you damn creep! I’ll fucking ki—AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! ” the slew of curse-laden threats was cut off by the zap of electricity, & agonized shrieking from the sixteen year old. Then gasping wheezes through pained inhales of air. “ …y-you… son of a bitch…I… I’m gonna fucking crush you. ”

“ He’s surprisingly resilient for such a scrawny thing! Looks like the cattle prod hasn’t had much success so far. We’ll have try the water instead. ”

“ Ow! Let me go asshole! Wait, what… stop it, don’t— ” Splash! There was a thrashing noise on the other end of the call, sounds of a struggle. Then, gasping, heaving breaths. “ Go f-fuck yourselves! ” he hissed venomously, a hint of a tremor in his voice, then his head was unceremoniously shoved back under the water. This time when they let him up, he just wheezed & coughed, struggling to catch his breath. “ No, don’t— ”

More splashing. “ As you can hear he’s quite the little spitfire, so we have our hands full at the moment. But if you wanted to offer a trade I would be open to any generous suggestions you might offer… if you’re interested. Have anything to say to your partner, Nakahara-san? ”

There was a groan of pain, & more crackling. “ D’z…ai…? ” Chuuya croaked out, his voice hoarse from screaming & slightly dazed. “ I …I can take it. You should… take a walk & get some air, there’s moonlight on the water... ” he managed, desperately hoping he was remembering the stupid coded language right.

Moonlight on the water… it’s a trap. Take a walk… waiting for your signal. Get some air meant, I can’t get out & I need immediate backup.

The man chuckled & took the phone back, “ Well? ”

the executive knew there was something amiss when chuuya didn't return fifteen minutes passed the allotted time. there was always the possibility of a trap but dazai had concluded that the weapons cache was far too valuable not to take the bait. who to send in had been a different matter. if it was a trap, not just anyone could take whatever this smaller organization had in store. it fell to chuuya, in the end, because he was their best bet of getting out on his own. and if not that, then in taking any sort of torture they might inflict.

he knew chuuya wouldn't die from this. dazai had accommodated for that and had told his partner of the very real possibility that it would be painful. chuuya accepted the job anyway just as he did every time his partner suggested using corruption. because dazai would never let him fall.

nothing stirs in the teen when he hears chuuya's angry screams in the background; it was all going according to plan. it is only after chuuya's coded message that eye narrows on the other end. chuuya not being able to get out on his own means dazai will have to take more drastic measures of his own. " he's quite a handful, isn't he? " dazai sighs rather dramatically. the executive holds his hand out and one of his subordinates brings him a screen revealing all the heat signatures in the building chuuya is being tortured in. he's been sitting and waiting two kilometers away from the building for an hour now.

" honestly, you're doing me a favor, boss-man. now i can actually find a partner i like. " the first step is making the enemy believe he won't come for chuuya. it's an old schtick at this point, but it still seems to work. help isn't coming for you is actually code for help is on the way. " i'm not calling for chuuya. i'm calling for you. unfortunately, your trap was rather obvious. and while you've been roughing up my partner trying to appeal to my better nature, my subordinates have been getting into place to raid your weapon's cache as we speak. "

this, of course, is true. dazai had sent the majority of his forces to the now-minimally guarded cache to conduct the real raid. a man like this, who believes he's always had the upper hand, will fluster and retaliate to try and gain control of the situation. depending on how many men he sends out to reclaim the weapons will determine the squad dazai sends to claim chuuya. now all he has to do is wait.

[himi-wiz]

Retrieved tags from @itotypes and gosh that's so well put I'm that compelled to write stuff so hi! I love you! (platonically)

I honestly don't have to be a Mori apologist to affirm the idea that it's never purely black and white with any of the organisations shown in BSD.

While overall the cleanest organisation is the Armed Detective Agency, half of them have blood on their hands including the president Fukuzawa himself and quite a few other members show little to no sign of remorse when they put innocent lives at risk if it meant for necessity or for protecting a loved one.

- Kyouka killed for Atsushi when she had to. Granted she's a scared kid that needs help.

- Tanizaki notably has no issue tricking a truck to hurl at John and Lovecraft in order to save his sister.

- Ranpo developed Fyodor's ways and willingly took in the Conjurer's methods himself for the sake of protecting the Agency and he has no issue threatening to expose Mushitarō's author friend's legacy to the public that might defame the late author's dream, a notably cruel thing to do for a member of the Agency that prides itself on using their members' kindness. It's implied if tested enough Ranpo might be willing to make further sacrifices like Fyodor.

- Slight BSD Manga Mersault spoilers:

Dazai happy wanting Fyodor dead or whatever he's daydreaming in the Fyozai smiling manga panel is. (Can't tell with the suicidal idiot whether he's happy he's dying or he's happy he's dragging Fyodor to his death).

The government in BSD has been shown to be capable of corrupted and cruel acts, particularly through Dark Era, Dead Apple and BSD Gaiden's mentions of higher-ups choosing the easiest and unethical routes to eliminate troublesome blemishes.

For the Special Division —

- The setup and cover up of the Arahabaki Incident aftermath whereby the government obtained and sealed the entity 'Arahabaki' in a child through series of experiments so artificial abilities can be created through combining both abilities and otherworldly entities, resulting in a giant crater from the mess where slums were formed in Suribachi City.

- releasing Shibuzawa during the Dragon Head's Conflict,

- having the Port Mafia deal with Mimic in Dark Era instead of resolving the terrorist group themselves

Other Governmental Agencies and Militaries (Includes other countries)

- The existence of the Seventh Agency, a criminal organisation created by the government to hide scandals, political crimes cover-ups, illegal tactics that regular government workers would not normally comprise, is extremely questionable.

- Whatever the hell is the Great War. Haha. Hahaha. Also Mori please sit the fuck down you're the worst. Yes, your plan on Tokoyami Island is effective and reduces casualties yes but that's so damn stupid and you ruined a perfectly lovely kind girl.

- A lab in Germany was researching Abilities and attempted to create a Singularity without multiple ability users. The project entailed the creation of man-made Ability users, artificial humans implanted with Abilities resulting in them being able to manipulate gravity. France used it to create an artificial human known as Paul Verlaine while Japan has an abducted Nakahara Chuuya (see Arahabaki Incident) and well, we know how that turned out.

- (BSD) Japan's Ministry of Japan is a doozy. In canon we have Tonan Tanzou debuting in S4 Hunting Dogs who harbors a deep hatred towards Yukichi Fukuzawa for assassinating his father and other war hawks who supported the continuation of war during the end of the Great War.

By extension, the Armed Detective Agency is targeted and dude is so willing to resort to any means getting his vengeance(!!!) that he's been gathering evidence to expose the detectives past crimes and humiliate them after the whole sacred ceremony thing.

- In Gaiden, Sakashita is a deputy director or the Ministry of Justice who's capable of using other people just to kill his rivals - just to achieve what he want.

Also look at his ugly mug.

- [BSD S5 Spoilers below (Mostly EP 3 and vague manga ones)]

In Season 5, Fukuchi turns out to be Kamui, the mastermind behind the Decay of Angels while simultaneously being the the greatest military hero. He later revealed to have went through so much torture "from the torturers' side" he was compelled to rid the world of the 'angels' aka the politicians. God damn sir. Why.

But that's how you do know the politicians are kinda shit huh.

Though they aren't shown to be all bad, merely human like with that one politician guy who expresses admiration for Fukuchi and looked to him as a hero bitterly telling him he needed to get rid of his figurines now and Fukuchi apologising. I can't remember if that's spoilers or not, help.

Chief Taneda is quoted by Ango to follow an utilitarianism ethic preferring to sacrifice a single life for the peace of thousands lives and has likely been one of the superiors involved in releasing Shibuzawa during the Dragon's Head Conflict and agreeing to giving a Special Ability licence to the Port Mafia, both decisions that result in lives lost for the sake of peace for the general public and against the Law.

But when this sacrifice includes his own, it's then complicated deciding whether his legacy is "Good" or "Bad" but at the very least it's respected by Ango enough for him to step up and vow vengeance for Taneda.

Everytime someone brings up how Chuuya is a bad person cause he stayed with the PM while others left always makes me wonder if they forget that others left because they had someone guide them or some opportunity to leave.

For Kyouka it was Atsushi, for Dazai it was Oda, for Yosano it was Ranpo and Fukuzawa's support. Koyou tried and had her chance taken away from her that left her bitter and terrified of leaving or letting others leave, Chuuya's chance more or less died with Murase. Like bro...even Mori took over out of necessity cause he had to uphold the tripartite system and the old boss was destroying not just the mafia but the city itself. (Reminder the mafia protects the city where the law and the ADA cannot, the Mafia can cross lines that neither of the other two can to protect the city).

Everyone in the light is there because someone or something guided them there and literally no one feels superior to the other for their morality and virtue. I see people constantly present Kunikida as this pretentious morally superior guy but he isn't, he'd kick morals to the curb if he felt that was the right thing to do.

Everyone in bsd functions on a very personalized set of morals. They exist in shades of gray and anyone leaning too far towards right or wrong is often portrayed as an extremist and an antagonist.

[nkhrchuwuya]

black dress

bungou stray dogs | T | 822 words nakahara chuuya x reader/OC

chuuya isn’t infallible.

"do not, under any circumstances, fall for them."

mori's final words before he'd sent chuuya off to their port mafia jet rings cold in his head. chuuya's no amateur; he knows what he's going into, what's expected of him, and how far he's willing to go for a mission (before it's time to call for backup). mori had given him a week to do it; he's sure he'll be able to do it in three days at most. a discreet, low-profile murder is absolutely nothing on his list of tricks.

and that's what mori meant, right? for him not to fall for your tricks?

the spanish ballroom is something else. chuuya is used to grandeur and luxury back in yokohama, but there's something different when he's out in europe. a chamber orchestra is the room's centerpiece, playing magnificent music while the different guests socialize with one another.

chuuya is in the middle of it all, sipping colored water disguised as red wine.

oh he can't get drunk tonight, but he sure as hell will be enjoying a good fancy bottle as soon as he's back in that jet.

his eyes scan the room for his target. belonging to a different organization, even his reports didn't say what exactly you were to said organization. assassin? spy? an executive? all that he was working with was that you were highly dangerous and he should always keep his guard up.

not that he doesn't ever, but-

(suddenly, the sweet fragrance of roses wafts in, and he turns around to find a playful expression on your face.)

(oh, god, now he has an idea what he's working with.)

(a very good idea that goes straight to his dick.)

"good afternoon, sir," you say, looking through your bangs. he tries to focus by remembering that he knows what you're doing; making yourself look like you're less dangerous than you are. "you're an unfamiliar face. i saw you through the crowd and i had to say hello."

still, the attractive smirk that rises to his face is unintentional. a slip-up. "how gracious. i'm actually feeling a little out of place here." chuuya halts a passing waiter and picks up a glass for you. he passes it to you and you take it gracefully. chuuya wonders, for a moment, if you're already aware of the dance the both of you are doing. the scent of your floral perfume still leaves him heady.

you take a sip of your drink. "we certainly don't get a lot of japanese businessmen."

"none as charming as me, no?" chuuya teases.

you laugh; a twinkling sound. "none at all. but- forgive me- we haven't been properly introduced."

you step backward from him in a politeful stance, and it is only then that chuuya really gets to see you fully; the deep black of your dress, the slit along the side with just enough cloth around the thigh to conceal a dagger.

you look absolutely scrumptious. chuuya would like to tear your dress apart with that very dagger if he could.

but he mustn't. there are other things he ought to do with that dagger.

"others would call me nakahara... but for you, it's chuuya." you raise your hand to shake and he takes it in his to press a kiss to your knuckles instead.

you meet his smoldering gaze. "and i was told the japanese are the conservative type."

"i've always been told to be a little less... forward."

you tell him your name. which is the exact same name he saw in his report. it makes him wonder if it's your real name- or simply an identity you've made for yourself. even if it's for this moment alone, chuuya would like to think you'd bared him the truth.

"hopefully i'm not a bother, is there someone else you were hoping of meeting?" you ask.

chuuya shakes his head. "i think... i'd rather get to know you."

the two of you spend time in conversation, pausing only to flag a waiter for an appetizer or something similar. chuuya grips his fake-wine glass as tightly as he can, and turns down your question of "not a big drinker?" even if he so desperately wants to say he wants to taste the wine on your lips.

damn, he can fuck you and then kill you, right?

mori hadn't given him any orders otherwise.

"well, i think it's about time for me to exit this little gathering," you say after what seems like hours. when chuuya looks out the windows, the haze of late afternoon has turned into early evening. "i suppose you're busy tonight?"

he raises an eyebrow, interested. "is there anywhere you'd like to be accompanied to?"

you smirk, a mirror of the look he'd given you today. "oh, places, chuuya. places." you take two steps away from him and turn around, an irresistible off-shoulder look.

well, one night with you wouldn't mean "falling"... right?

[sonder-paradise]

BSD Characters Getting Cold

This is such a dumbass concept but due to the amount of angst I’ve seen on tumblr atm I need floof :’D

Osamu Dazai

This mf is needy

I feel as though I’ve said a fundamental fact

Well cause it is

During winter or just a cold random cold day, he will not hesitate to whine abt it to you

If he’s a work with you then obviously he won’t be working

He’ll obviously be at your side and trying to get you to hold him

Or Vice versa

He’s not a picky person just a needy one (°▽°)

Complains that he needs the warmth of his loved one or he shall perish _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

“Belladonna, pleaseee! I’m freezing right now!” (´；Д；`)

Man rlly just wants your hands in his n o w

At home, he’ll bundle under the covers or drag you into bed fo cuddle

There’s no exceptions o(｀ω´ )o

Every time you think you’re safe and can walk around, he’ll pick up back up and snatch you away

Loves bury his face into the crook of your neck

He might be needy but he’s also affectionate

Sure he could have just got another coat or something

But that would be wrong to neglect his natural heat source

Chuuya Nakahara

Unlike his troublesome partner, Chuuya would rather get sick than admit he’s cold

He’s gone through literal hell and back so why would he be affected by something as stupid as cold?

Someone teach him how to wear his damn coat properly

He would never admit it to your face

Literally would get blue in the face while telling it to your face

You would have to drag the words out of him or just eventually give up and hold his hand or him

He does appreciate when you figure it out and insist on doing it without him instigating it

Once he’s comfortable and warmer, he’ll probably insist that this is something that you want

Chuuya, darling, we know you don’t want to admit this but please-

“Just so we’re clear, I’m only doing this because you’re the one that’s cold.” (￣^￣)

Whatever helps you sleep at night

But he is grateful that the cold is out and away

Cant say that he’s one for the cold weather since he prob gets cold easily

So when handling your Chuuya, please remember to use great care ♪( ´▽｀)

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

All I wanna say is that this man prob sneezes like a kitten

That’s it

That’s the whole post now

Nah I’m just kidding

Aku prob likes bundling up when it’s cold

He lived in the cold all the time as a bb so he’s prob not as affected by it but it’s still cute

He makes sure that you’re warm too

He insists that you wear his coat even if he’s freezing instead

“Do you need to go back inside?”

“Aren’t you colder than me?”

“...no”

Gin sometimes buys or cooks him something warm so he shares with you

He won’t instigate cuddling even if it’s cold so you’ll have to insist on it first

Aku getting cold is actually more rare and one would think

He does shiver like a leaf tho

And it’s adorable ∩^ω^∩

Make him some warm tea and cuddle with him for a little bit and he’ll feel better ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Aku will definitely try and get closer to you or try to hold your hand

It’s mostly as a sign that he’s looking for warmth and you happen to be next to him

Never sure if he’s coughing because he’s colder or he’s just dying like usual

Atsushi Nakajima

He would be such a mf trooper about being cold

He doesn’t want to burden you by admitting that he’s cold

So he just puts up with it until he ends up getting a cold (-.-)

I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t get cold that much either

But he does get all sleepy when it gets cold

He also has a habit of curling up into himself when it does get cold

Nothing too extreme depending on what he’s doing of course

If he’s working at his desk, he’ll hug his legs to his chest

If he’s outside walking around, he’ll wrap his arms around himself

But when he’s with you or by himself, he likes warming himself back up by curling up underneath blankets

Of course he’ll politely ask you if you wanted to join him

“I’m going to take a nap now... Wanna join me?” (*´∇｀*)

But sometimes you’ll just slide in after him

Adores holding you while it’s cold

Plus I reckon his body heat is warmer than normal so he’s a great person to have around during the cold season (〃ω〃)

[royal-ruin]

bungou stray dogs fic recs (part 17)

this is a fic rec list for long fics (fics longer than 18k).

other bsd fic recs here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

dazai osamu / nakahara chuuya (soukoku) fanfic recs

hey look, the sky's falling apart by saffroncassis (~25k)

The facts are this: Chuuya is a compassionate person. He cares too much and too fiercely. He gets attached easily and is undyingly loyal to the people around him. He also happens to be the strongest ability user this side of Japan since the turn of the century. At age 16, Chuuya defects from the Port Mafia and drags his partner with him not so much kicking and screaming as silently begrudging, and the rest follow suit in time.

Double Black by setosdarkness (~40k, incomplete: last updated 10.31.16)

Chuuya and Dazai are dating, with enough PDA to make one vomit rainbows. Both are hiding a huge secret from each other: that they’re assassins.

Turns out they’re working for rival companies too. Turns out they were actually sent to kill each other by their respective companies. Turns out they actually hate each other’s guts and were just pretending to like each other (well, okay, maybe not the last one).

aka The Fake Dating AU + assassins + crossdressing + shenanigans , because why not

[“T-That’s so s-sweet of you!” Yeah, so sweet that he can just gag. “N-Nobody’s ever told m-me that.” Probably because he’ll kill them dead if they attempt to do so. “It’s been fifteen hours since we saw each other.” Chuuya wants to scream: If you’re gonna flirt like that, do it right! It’s been sixteen hours, damn it, not fifteen!]

i don’t really read incomplete fics, but i didn’t realize this is incomplete till i was in the middle of reading it. it was still pretty good. the plot had just started picking up by the time i stopped at chapter 15.

Noir by Adargo (~42k)

In the past, he never truly understood that darkness growing behind Dazai’s eyes. Yet lately, Chuuya thinks, when he stares back into the black of his own, encircled by those pale-blue skies…

He’s starting to catch glimpses of it.

Retrace by Kuranoa (~44k)

Chuuya dreams every night, and in those dreams, he dies the most horrendous deaths, over and over. He wakes up in a cold sweat, afraid and disoriented.

Dazai always assures him that they are nothing but nightmares.

In this world, Fyodor has successfully obtained The Book. In this world, Dazai has witnessed Chuuya’s death 18,263 times.

i didn’t finish reading this fic. i stopped at about chapter five. it’s really really good, but super angsty. it’s a time loop where chuuya basically just dies every single day, over and over again. the writing is absolutely amazing, but i the angst really was too much for me this time.

*kabuki dance by teawriter (~122k)

kabuki dance: an event designed to create the appearance of conflict when the outcome has already been predetermined.

After two years of a losing war against Dostoyevsky, Mori calls Chuuya up to his office to explain the terms of his next mission—an undercover assignment to infiltrate the Decay of Angels by marrying Dazai Osamu, Dostoyevsky’s equal in everything but name. According to Mori, it’s the optimal solution.

But missions rarely go as planned, and Chuuya is only one pawn in a game far bigger than himself. So when it inevitably unravels in his hands, Yokohama's future hangs in the balance.

*where your loyalties lie by writingfromtheshadows (~163k)

Loyalty is the foundation of the yakuza code, something that was drilled into Chuuya at an early age. However, his lessons did not cover how to manage a political marriage with his organization's oldest rival.

i’m a sucker for arranged marriage aus w/ soukoku as a badass team.

[osarina]

I didn't want to comment my reply again on the civilian dazai fic but OMG FYO IT WAS REALLY GOOD

I will say it deffo felt much light hearted and had a friday fellthan waterloo and even wykyk but I think that's cause the ✨️drama✨️ btwn them hadn't started yet and also the fact that I know they aren't doomed by the narrative (you) this time 💀

But I am liking the way it is going it already has me hooked and I am so very excited 😊 and God damn I LOVE love the reader so much. She's much more badass and ahhhh dazai is so cute and pathetic I lub him <3

Also fun fact after my 3 hour exam and after 2 sleepless nights, I did the exam well and came rushing home and held myself to read this awesomeness before sleeping for like 8 hours straight. When I woke up I read it again not in a sleepy haze to get the full experience XD that's how much I love your quality top notch fics

I think the reader's ability is a great and beautiful choice. It's not overpowering to change the plot or invite plot holes but powerful enough to impact everyday life. It really keeps me asking if the reader is using her ability on a certain situation or not and I really love that feature.

Anyways hope your life is going well 😊 and dont forget to eat healthily

P.s. : Do you have a fixed schedule to upload wasteland like waterloo or is it not fixed? And sorry for making the asks so long 😅

TUMBLR USER SILVERSNOW2000 HELLO MY LOVE I ADORE YOU, YOU NEVER HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING LONG ASKS I LOVE THEM

AHHHHHH I'M SO GLAD U ENJOYED IT ive had soooooo much fun writing civzai and pmreader. IT'S DEFINITELY MUCH MORE LIGHTHEARTED THAN ANY OF THE OTHER SERIES SO FAR but don't worry the drama starts in the next chapter LOLLLL and it doesn't slow down from there. THEY DON'T DIE THO i feel like i have to say this every time LOLLLLL

YESSSSS PM READER IS SO FUN TO WRITE like she's alwaysssss fun to write but it's particularly fun being able to write her from the viewpoint of dazai as a civilian who isn't like used to seeing her already. like she's very similar in the original universe but dazai has known her for so long there that he's become used to her yk, meanwhile this dazai sees her in a very fresh light if u get what i mean. it's the change in perspective that's so fun to write here

AND OMG IM GLAD - i was so conflicted about how to phrase/what to make her ability because i didn't want to make it too op but at the same time .. she's a port mafia executive, she needs to have a pretty notable ability, and then i was like wait ... her whole thing is politics and negotiations, so obviously it has to be something along the lines of fucking with ppl's minds/brains, but i needed to obviously whittle that down because mind control is just too ridiculous, so i got the idea of her being able to like induce emotions + states onto people BUT they're able to draw themselves out of it if they have the strength for it.

some things are easier to brush off, but other things aren't. like she can put people to sleep with her ability and they can't really drag themselves out of that because now they're sleeping, and inducing fear in particular is pretty hard for people to draw themselves out of because it spirals quickly. but for negotiations and stuff, when she's making them feel as if she's more trustworthy/more susceptible to taking bad terms, she has to be SO careful & calculated with her every word because any small thing could make them double take and jar them out of the induced state.

actually, in civzai universe, it's going to be really interesting because without dazai there to stop chuuya from using corruption, reader and chuuya had to figure out a way to knock him out of it themselves - which they DID and it involves her ability but it's SOOOO dangerous for her so they end up not really using corruption often. this actually comes up in the next chapter

i dont have a set schedule! i'm going to shoot for every other friday max though!

[yo-anna0315]

Soukoku and a kiddo HCs

Some of this might refer to my own OC rather than just any kid, but anyway Dazai is still with the ADA, Chuuya is either the mafia boss or still an exec under Mori.

Chuuya has a fondness for stray kids and Dazai is impartial to orphans because of Odasaku, but neither of them plan on having kids or adopting because wow they have hectic lives and they themselves are very chaotic.

They’re also doing this new thing called can we have a functional relationship with each other?  This includes Chuuya not turning to alcoholic tendencies every time he gets overwhelmed and Dazai not attempting to actively kill himself without going to Chuuya or someone else first, and the both of them trying to open up and trust each other more outside of combat.  

Chuuya is probably walking home to one of his safehouses late at night, and some street kid comes and pickpockets him.  And GETS AWAY with it.  Chuuya is just shocked because excuse??? Some runt just came and picked his pocket???  He’s more amazed that someone would dare to pick his pocket and succeed rather than be annoyed.  Well damn.  The kid didn’t take anything important, just a bit of pocket change so Chuuya doesn’t care.  But he’s impressed.  

Dazai finds out when Chuuya mentions it over dinner and he’s DYING of laughter.  He wants to meet this kid.

“Chibi got mugged!”  “I didn’t get mugged, you asshole!  I just said they stole some pocket change!”  “Ah, Chibikko’s losing his touch.  “You bastard!”

So Dazai does what Dazai does best and finds the kid without Chuuya even telling him a single thing.  

“All I do is check the security cam footage you have around the safehouse, but that must be too big for your sheepdog brain to handle.”

The kid is a little snappy at first because who the fuck is this bandaged wearing idiot asking if they stole something.  They live on the STREETS, what DON’T they steal?  And then it clicks that they stole from a Port Mafia Executive.  And Not just ANY PM Exec, they stole from the Gravity Manipulator.  

The kid: “haha I’m in danger”

Dazai catches them and brings them back to Chuuya’s apartment and the kid is freaking out because oh my god, I’m going to lose my hand for stealing.  Or worse!  And Dazai is just so happy, what an asshole

“Chibi!”  “What do you want, asshole?”  “Look!”  “Did you KIDNAP a fucking child!”  “No, this is kid who stole from you, remember?  The one who mugged you and stole your cash!”  “You kidnapped a child.”

At this point the kid is in hysterics because why is he so happy?  What’s going on?  Are they going to die???  And then Chuuya, always the one with manners, is like I’m sorry my asshole boyfriend kidnapped you, can I make it up to you with dinner and a shower?

They’re not going to turn down free gifts, but they are extremely on edge.  But Chuuya is a great cook and his shower is luxurious because he knows how to treat himself right (unlike a certain mackerel).  

So the kid takes a shower first because hot water is utterly delightful and should never be wasted, they have two bowls of ramen and rice with nori sheets because hunger.  Chuuya is appreciative because at least someone appreciates the hard work he puts into his food.  Dazai is secretly relieved because he won’t have to eat the leftovers and he can just eat canned crab without feeling guilty.

Dinner and a shower turns into a night on the lounge in the study in safety and comfort, which turns into breakfast in the morning, which turns into dinner every few months and the cycle repeats until Dazai spills sake on the lounge and insists that the kid move into the spare bedroom for the night.

This kid is like okay wtf.  Chuuya is exasperated, Dazai is scheming.  Chuuya makes them have a sit down conversation because he’s trying to be better and the kid doesn’t need more dysfunction in their life.  They extend an open invitation for the kid to come by whenever they want.

“Or you could just stay, it’s not like we’re not used to you at this point.  And you haven’t run away screaming from us so we haven’t messed up yet.”  “Dazai… what the fuck.” 

Dazai and Chuuya agree to keep the kid away from the mafia, mostly Mori because Mori could use the kid as leverage over both Chuuya and Dazai and thas no bueno.  (If Chuuya’s the mafia boss then he’ll probably keep the kid away from the mafia, unless they want in then he’ll sit down with them and have a talk to make sure they know what they’re getting into).  So, Dazai gets a little shadow that just kind of loiters around the ADA.

Dazai trades completed paperwork for tutoring lessons from Kunikida when he has time, Yosano teaches them anatomy and basic first aid, Atsushi, Ranpo, Tanizaki, Naomi and Kenji get a new friend.  Fukuzawa sometimes spends time enlightening the kid about politics and strategy and history, or watches over the kid when Dazai has to work on a case.  

Kouyou finds out about the kid on accident and whisks the kid away to teach them etiquette and class and spoils them with shopping.  Despite her loyalty to Mori, her fondness of Chuuya keeps her from outing the kid to the Boss.

At home, Chuuya teaches the kid martial arts and if they have an ability then Chuuya and Dazai team up to coach the kid through developing their power whatever it may be.  Dazai also teaches the kid how to pick locks and psychology, like how to read body language, how to lie, how to get the truth from someone.

I feel like the kid wouldn’t completely abandon the streets, so they go visit old friends and bring left overs or snacks or water bottles to their friends still on the street.  

Even though they don’t need to, the kid has connections through other street orphans so they can relay information to Dazai and Chuuya.  

“There’s been this group trying to take over one of the ports, but we can’t find any intel on where their base is located or who they are.”  “Oh, you mean the group of people taking shelter in one of the abandoned warehouses?  They’re so rude.”

“The killer escaped, but they aren’t sure how.”  “If you go down this alleyway, you can sneak over the wall.  It’s hard, but once you figure out how to get over, it’s really easy to lose people.”

Dazai and Chuuya have a push and pull type of relationship.  It’s balanced for the most part because they trust each other and know each other well, but sometimes it tips too much like when Dazai gets flighty and suicidal and refuses to tell anyone or when Chuuya starts falling back on alcohol, then it’s a little rocky.  But I feel like having someone else to provide and care for and receive help and appreciation helps them to balance out.

I really like this headcanon because I’m a sucker for found families and Soukoku deserves to be happy dammit. 

[dreamkidddream]

Heya! It’s me again!! Can I request a BSD crew with Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi with a older siblings reader that really cares for them and is overprotective. (Really cold on the outside, but with them its a whole different story) Sorry it’s long!! Looking forward with your works!

Thank you for the request and thank you for reading!! Sorry about the wait, and it got kinda long. Reader is gender neutral and hope you enjoy!

TW: Suicide talk in Dazai’s (nothing too heavy is mentioned), and small spoiler for Oda (I know I keep bringing him up but I love him okay), abuse mentioned in Atsushi’s 

Being an Overprotective Older Sibling (Sour but Sweet) with: Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi

Dazai

He stresses you out so, so, SO MUCH

You were ready to just wrap him up in a straitjacket and just attach him to your back, but you figured he would find a way to break free or kill himself (or even both)

When people saw the two of you together, on the outside, it looked either like a: you were handling an overgrown toddler or b: he was being held hostage by this scary looking individual that looks like they could rearrange your organs from the inside out

But, with you guys, it was the complete opposite. You were the best relative that Dazai had and could count on, but you refused to let him try any suicide attempts from his book (at least while he was in your presence). You were really sweet, always made sure to look out for him, and constantly protecting him. 

When you came into the ADA looking just for him, everyone was confused. Who was this random stranger coming in with the coldest expression, asking specifically for Dazai, holding a wrapped box. They knew that he had many enemies that range from now to his past, so now they were assuming that you were someone that came to get revenge.

Kunikida tried to intercept you first, but you told him that you only came to see Dazai and no one else. And that he better still be alive and uninjured or else. Well, they obviously took that as a threat and before a whole brawl could break out, here walks in Dazai and Atsushi

“Oh, (Y/N)! What a surprise to see you on this lovely day. Here to check on your dear little brother?” Hold up...BROTHER?? DAZAI HAS A SIBLING, AND HE’S THE YOUNGEST??! Poor Kunikida is about to malfunction and Ranpo is just sitting back enjoying the show with his snacks

“Osamu...How many times do I have to tell you...stop forgetting your lunch! You need to eat properly. And before you even say anything, you are going to eat this. I know you didn’t eat breakfast this morning, because just drinking coffee is not breakfast, and...”

You went from getting ready to whoop some ass to nagging him what is going on

 And that was the day that the Agency found out that Dazai had an older sibling. They were wondering why you never came to the office, and when you responded that is was, “none of their damn business”, they decided not to question it (at least in front of you). And they were so shocked to see you act, no be, so delicate with him. You were still talking to about your lunch, looking at him with the softest expression telling him, “I know you struggle with caring for yourself, so let me do it for you. You’re my younger brother, Osamu, let me do my job in taking care of you. You won’t let me protect you when you’re on the job, so let me protect you everywhere else.”

So, he was the reason why you weren’t working in the office alongside him? And it was true. After his days in the Port Mafia, when you were working alongside him, it was fine. He hated that you always got in the line of fire to “protect” him (and he knew and kept telling you that he didn’t need it, and if he did get hurt, to just let him suffer, to let him die). You didn’t understand his complete need to end his life, and it ate you up inside, but it also you a new resolve. Maybe he didn’t believe that his life was important or that he mattered to someone, so you took it to show him that someone did care, that you cared. 

It backfired one day on a mission, when you took a bullet that was meant for him. You were so close to death that day, knocking right on His door, and it shook him to his core. Back in those days, he cared for you and Oda, and cared little for himself. He came so close to losing you, and he realized he wouldn’t know what to do without you. You were one of the only people (honestly beside Oda) that he actually felt some kind of emotion for, and he would be damned if he lost you too

So he came with a new resolution after he left the Mafia, he would handle the dangerous life, while you stayed home. You obviously strongly rejected this idea, but he left no room for refusal. He rather be the one close to death than you, you still deserved to live life, not him. 

It led to a very long, emotionally draining, confrontational argument for hours, but the decision was made. You would live a regular life, far from any kind of violence or death, working a regular job while he would put his life on the line. On the terms that he would constantly keep you updated (ie. not ignoring your hourly calls and texts), actually eat the food that you prepare (breakfast, lunch, and dinner), and not push you away whenever he needed someone to leave on. 

You also threatened politely let him know that if these conditions weren’t followed, then all bets are off and you would raise hell. You were here to stay and you’ll make sure that he is too

You were a positive influence on Dazai’s life, and it was so funny how you would switch personalities. How you switch from being so kind and childlike to so frigid and antisocial was very entertaining to see. He does love you, and while you would try to police his every move (which was literally impossible), he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Plus he LIVED for you coming to stop by in the office now, seeing how Kunikida would try to avoid eye contact with you and Atsushi nervously sweating in his seat was hilarious. He knew you wouldn’t hurt them, but it was still pretty amusing

Chuuya

Opposite of Dazai, you stress him out SO MUCH

Part of it is because you’re overprotective, another part of it is because you are a complete smartass and you knew it

“Damn (Y/N) can you LET ME BREATHE FOR A SECOND?!”

“...”

“Seems like you’re breathing fine to me.”

“WHY YOU-“

But, he may complain, but he actually didn’t dislike that you were working with him in the Port Mafia. You could keep an eye on him, and he could make sure that you didn’t get into any extra trouble that could interfere with his missions or have you get disciplined by Mori. It was a win-win for you both

If there was one thing that he could change though, is your constant need of trying to take the hits designated for him. He doesn’t need you always jumping in front of him, defending him with your own body. He was more than capable of taking care of himself, if he wasn’t then not only would he not be one of the top executives, but he also wouldn’t still be alive

Also he has a reputation to uphold. How was he suppose to display his raw power and talents when you were continuously intruding on his cases?! Not to mention the fact that you act so detached when you’re dealing with the other members. It’s to the point that they’re too intimated to even make eye contact with you

Which he thought was so bizarre because you were one of the nicest people that he has ever come in contact with (even though he was your brother and you guys interacted with each other every day). You played the annoying sibling role very well (too well in fact), but you still make sure to look out for him and make sure that he’s okay, emotionally and physically. 

He understood why you did it, but at the same time he didn’t. You were both extremely strong, and he was the one with the better ability (not to mention that he’s the one that has Arahabiki inside of him). It came off that obviously you wanted him safe, but also that he couldn’t handle what comes at him. He’s not a little kid, he’s not some weakling that needs to be persistently protected, you both didn’t survive this long solely because of you, it was because of you both. It was a teamwork effort, and while he gets that he’s your youngest brother, he worries about you too

And he proved his point one night, when he had to dress your wounds after a mission went south. Here he was, scolding you and cursing about how stupid you were being, and the more he went on, the more you figured that he was angrier at himself for letting this happen. 

“Why is it so hard to understand that I want to protect you too?! Why don’t you give a damn about yourself like how you do about me?! You act like this entirely new person on the field like you don’t give a damn what happens to you and it PISSES ME OFF! Just like you protect me, I can and will protect you. I may be loyal to the Port Mafia, but you come first, always.”

After that, you did let him handle his own battles (but if he got a single scratch on him, then you will be joining whether he agrees or not). You were still annoying in Chuuya’s eyes, but it was just him being his stubborn, short tempered self about his older relative. He wants the best for you without a doubt and he wants you to realize you don’t have to carry this imaginary burden of protecting him, because you weren’t the powerful one in the family. He had your back just like you had his. You were one of the only things that still convinced him that he was still human and not a monster, and no words will measure just how much he appreciates you for that. You had your moments when you were irritating the hell out of him, but he still loved you regardless

Besides, you were the only person who somehow was able to get one of his favorite vintage wines (it still confused him so much how you got it and not him, and you refused to tell him) so he definitely couldn’t afford to lose you

Atsushi

Okay, you do not play about this man, ever

After growing up in the orphanage and joining the ADA, it took a while to get readjusted to being around people that weren’t trying to purposely harm you for just existing. For Atsushi, even though he was hesistant to join the agency, you were honestly against it. Sure, it was a fresh start from that horrible place, but it was also another gateway for danger. Not to mention how sketchy this suicidal guy was, if he was able to join the agency there’s no telling what other nut cases are apart of it too

Plus, you needed to keep your brother in your presence at all times. Enough has happened to him already, and you were going to do everything in your power to prevent him from going through that type of pain ever again, you swore

But after he discovered that he’s the weretiger that’s been causing trouble (which you had a hunch about but no way to confirm) and with him having no type of knowledge on how to control this new ability, it seemed like you two had no choice but to stay with the ADA. You weren’t very happy about this arrangement, but if it was able to help Atsushi with his newfound ability and provided you with the means to support you both (ie. getting paid), then so be it. You sucked it up and both joined

It took...some time for the other members to get used to your demeanor. Having someone in the agency give off such an intense deadly vibe was a little unsettling. It seemed like Kenji, Ranpo, and Dazai were the only three (besides your brother) that weren’t phased by it, but other people like the Tanizaki twins tried to steer clear of you as much as they could

It wasn’t that they hated you, it’s just...your aura wasn’t the friendliest. And it was even more confusing since you were the exact opposite for your brother! You conversed and laughed with him, but you never did it with the others. Watching Kunikida and Dazai do their daily banter didn’t even make you crack a smile. But whenever you were around Atsushi, it seemed like you were carefree, glowing even. It was evident that you both kept each other smiling and positive, and it warmed everyone to see

Whether it was desk duty or field missions, you were both always paired with each other. If Dazai and Atsushi were assigned to a case, guess who was also magically assigned with them too? If he was stuck on desk duty, you were too. No one had a problem with it surprisingly. Which was a complete lie but after you...made a convincing argument, they left you alone and let you tag along with your brother as long as it didn’t interfere with the success of the case

Junichiro low key understood it though, don’t be fooled cause he’ll snap for his sister too if he had to

You didn’t even give any enemies the chance to even come close to Atsushi. That’s how serious you were with keeping your word. Even when him and Akutagawa fought, you would find a way to get involved. You will not let anyone else hurt your brother again if you could help it

He did get upset with you, whenever you did this, which led to a really bad blowout between you two. You figured this was going to happen sooner or later. It just seem like Atsushi was ready to prove himself to someone when he didn’t have to, but you didn’t understand why he felt that need.

Ever since you guys have been in that hellhole of an orphanage, you always tried to protect each other, but you always tried to take the beatings that were meant for him. He always blamed himself for you being beaten and tortured. It was his fault, if he just takes the abuse and the “punishments” by himself, then you wouldn’t have to get involved and suffer because of him. If Atsushi wasn’t so frail, if he wasn’t so weak, if he just wasn’t a mistake-

“Naka, you okay? You’re zoning out again. You’re gonna walk right into the street if you don’t stop that!”

“R-right. Sorry (Y/N). I guess what happen-“

“The orphanage still gets to you, I know. Please stop blaming yourself, Nakajima. It wasn’t any of our faults, and I don’t blame you for none of it. If anything, I should have done a better job of protecting you. There’s no excuse, neither one of us should have went through what we did, especially you. If anything, I’m the one that needs to apologize. I should’ve tried harder in keeping you-”

“(Y/N) stop saying that! Neither one of us deserved it! You can’t be the strong one for the both of us. I want and have to protect you too! I want to be confident enough in myself and my ability to keep you safe. I already failed when we stuck at that damn orphanage, I’m not going to fail you again! Damn it (Y/N)! Give me a chance to prove to you that I can take care of you like how you took care of me!”

You were stunned. Did your little brother carry this much of a burden because of you? How long has he been feeling this way? He didn’t have to prove himself to you! He was more than enough, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty thinking that it was your fault for him feeling this way

After a very long heart to heart with him, you finally understood where he was coming from. You couldn’t promise him that you would stop your protective nature, but you did let him fight his own battles for once (but you still weren’t letting him get seriously hurt, that still wasn’t going to happen obviously). He told you that he was getting older, and that like it or not that you weren’t always going to be by side. He needed to learn how to stand on his own two feet, and while he loved that you were there for him to lean on, he needed this for himself and for you. He knew that being the best brother that he could be was getting stronger and getting better with his ability, he owed you that much

Atsushi loves you, and he has the same resolve like you. Being that you two are the only thing that you both have left in this world, he wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t lose you under any circumstances. Him bettering himself everyday with the help of you and the agency members and was more than enough to make sure that wouldn’t happpen

[sirenascales]

-> Chuuya with a Black F!Reader who's a bit insecure because of her skin.

@furrypostsoul said: Hello admin, I hope you’re having a good day! So stoked to see a fellow bisexual bsd fan! I would politely like to request a chuuya Drabble with a black fem bisexual reader where she thought that chuuya wouldnt be interested in her romantically cause of y’know, her skin. If you could also add in scenarios where she was racially harassed in public (pls dont write this is ur not comfortable, I understand if you don’t! it’s something I want people to be aware about)

note: ahhh thank you so much for your request! i immediately had an idea as soon as I saw it and I believe I came up with a good one, especially after asking some of my pals for advice on how to tackle it! Hope you like it!

warnings: colorism, mentions of racial fetishization, microaggresion, and racism [not from Chuuya] insecure reader, angst to fluff i promise,

"I still don't understand why it takes so long to do your hair... aren't you just getting braids?" The confused look on Chuuya's face was honestly super cute and hilarious and you couldn't help but laugh behind your hand.

"That's just the way it is, man. That's why I said we can go out on Saturday. I can't on Friday since I'll be strapped to the chair."

"Man, whatever," Chuuya huffed and you rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Don't whatever me. Just suck it up!"

You shook your head, the hustle and bustle of the shopping district around you fading as you looked to your companion. Red hair, blue eyes, fancy clothes and a dumb hat; Chuuya was honestly too handsome, too damn fine. The scowl on his face was cute and you resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks. You knew he would literally kill you for that, and you valued your life.

You and Chuuya were in that talking stage and finally decided to go out on your first official date on Saturday. Besides his... occupation, you found yourself very much liking the man. Not just for his looks, but his fiery personality made him interesting, the way he carried himself. He was great and you were so into him.

You hoped he felt the same way. He had to, he agreed to the date in the first place! And how could he not? You were a sight, rich brown skin and he sorta, kinda, absolutely loved the cute afro puffs you had on your head. You were beautiful, a bright spirit with a bit of an edge that Chuuya definitely liked.

After talking some more, Chuuya had to go off to do his own thing, and after sharing a very tight hug, you waved him farewell, promising to see him on Saturday for your first date.

You couldn't help the huge, happy grin on your face, giddy as you made your way over to a nearby bench, sitting next to an older woman. You paid her no mind, grabbing your phone to text your friend as you giggled to yourself.

"Was that your boyfriend?" the woman suddenly inquired and you blinked at her in surprise. Then, your face started to heat up and you laughed lightly.

"Well, not yet. We're just dating."

"Ah..." the woman trailed off and you didn't like the tone of her voice. Suddenly feeling awkward, you turned back to your phone.

"I don't mean to be rude," the woman started and you couldn't help the sense of dread you felt. Here we go again. "But you should be careful, dear. You're a beautiful woman but... Japanese men don't really like dark skin. Not unless they are with you for... ulterior motives."

Even if you were already expecting some foolishness, the woman's words still stunned you, striking you to your core as you gave her a look that exceeded shock. You were appalled, your chest tightening in anger and hurt. You took in a slow deep breath, your fists clenching tightly. Your body had gone numb, and you tried your best to keep it cool. You couldn't make a scene.

"Wow," you laughed softly, shaking your head as you stood up. You didn't pay that stupid bitch any mind, storming away, your anger just boiling.

Not only did that woman ruin your entire day, she honestly ruined your entire week. The anger had soon subsided and you were left with the insecurities you tried to push down, especially when it came to Chuuya. Your mind ran at one hundred miles per hour, overthinking as the cruel words lingered in your mind.

Was Chuuya another one? Like your last relationship, were you just a sexual conquest for someone just wanting to try having sex with a Black girl? That was what your ex-girlfriend did to you, so was this just the same? Did he even like you?

No. Chuuya wouldn't do that.

Even so, you canceled your date with him as you sat in the stylist's chair on Friday, eyes burning with tears. You didn't want to experience that again, so you figured you give it all up before you get hurt again. Or even worse.

After spending day getting your hair done, you gotten a quick bite to eat before heading home, feeling completely dejected. Your hair looked amazing, long box braids swaying as you trudged along. But Chuuya didn't answer your text at all, and that honestly made you feel even more like shit. Did he not care at all?

You sighed deeply, coming up on your apartment, stopping when you saw a very familiar red motorcycle parked along the sidewalk. Your heart skipped a beat when you spotted Chuuya leaning against his bike, and when he finally noticed you, your heart dropped when he yelled your name.

"Oi!" he hollered, stomping over to you angrily. "What the hell do you mean our date is canceled?!"

"I-" you were at a loss for words. "Why are you here?"

"I was waiting for you! I didn't know where you were getting your hair done so I just stood here."

"Th-the whole day?! Chuuya!"

"I mean, I went and got food and stuff but-"

"That's not the point!" you interrupted. "Why would you even bother?"

Chuuya scoffed. "Are you serious? You suddenly cancel our date and you expect me not to worry about you?" As he finished talking, Chuuya is shocked to find tears pooling in your eyes, your lips trembling as you hung your head. "H-hey, what the hell happened?"

"You don't just want to fuck me, right?"

Now Chuuya was at a loss for words, his jaw hanging open as he registered your ridiculous words. You spoke again, telling him about the things that woman said to you earlier that week, as well as the horrible experience you had with your ex-girlfriend.

"... I tried not to think too much about it but... I'm used to comments about my skin and race, I mean, hello! I'm Black, but... " you trailed off, lifting your hands up to wipe your tears away. Chuuya beat you to it, and you stared at him with teary eyes as he gently wiped your tears away.

"I'm not your ex-girlfriend." Chuuya was firm as he spoke. "And that old hag needs to mind her own fucking business. I fucking like you. Not because of some weird sexual thing, I actually fucking like you. The whole you. You're beautiful and smart, you keep me on my toes. And yes, your skin and hair are amazing, I love them, but those are only parts of you that I find amazing. I'm not giving you my love and attention because I want something from you, I'm giving it because you deserve it. And I want to be the one who gives it to you."

You didn't know what to say, what to do. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears, your mouth going dry. Still, after a moment you just end up punching Chuuya lightly on his chest, choking out a laugh while you cried.

"Shut up... all that sappy shit..."

Chuuya scoffed, lowkey offended. "Excuse me? I basically just confessed to you."

"Yeah..." you sniffed, looking and giving the man a watery smile. "You did. I..." Lips trembling again, you took a step forward and Chuuya wasted no time in pulling you in for a hug.

"And you better accept me or else I will kick your ass," Chuuya said, pressing his face against your hair. "You smell nice..."

"Hm."

"And you're perfect. Worth more than an experimental fuck and the words of some old bitch." There was a bite to Chuuya's words, and that made you feel so much better.

"I'm sorry for doubting you..." you whispered and Chuuya shook his head, pulling away from the hug.

"Don't be. I understand, I promise."

You smiled widely, face getting hot as he gently cupped your cheek. "Are you sure?"

Chuuya rolled his eyes. "Fine, you can make it up to me by un-cancelling our date. Let me show you off."

You giggled softly, hugging him again. "Okay. That's fair."

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