#damien x district attorney

[fictionalsownme]

The fact that Damien canonically carried us to bed because we were too drunk to stand lives rent free in my bisexual head aghshhshshnsls 🥲💞

THEY WERE UNIVERSITY-MATES, YOUR HONOR (ft. my self-insert DA to illustrate the concept 😌💞)

You saying that got me thinking that Damien is so bisexual coded idek how to explain it okay. Obviously the fact that the DA is all of us, aka any gender, aka all genders, makes him queer if you believe he has feelings for us (which like HOW COULD YOU NOT) but it doesn't even matter your gender okay... boy is yearning this hard in the 1920s as the MAYOR?? for his DISTRICT ATTORNEY?? Closeted behavior, I feel. Hehehe ANYWAY--

I'm making a Markiplier Ego Discord!! Idk how interested people are but I thought it'd be fun to try! For now, just let me know if you want to join a taglist for when it's ready (soon!!) and give me name suggestions (please ;;-;;)! 🥰

[westanthewaterman]

Tomorrow, Tonight - Damien x F!DA/Reader

Rating: NSFW

Word count: 1700+

Contents: public sex, semi-public sex, fingering, drunk sex, drinking, brief mention of a gunshot, dubious consent (sexual acts in front of others who are unaware the acts are taking place [Marc probably knows though]), porn with plot

AN: I hecking love plot. This fic was inspired by my Kinktober #8 entry which you can find here.

This fic is a prequel to 'Feel You' but can be read standalone.

Fic Masterlist - Find it on AO3

The manors’ residents have all retired after a bodacious night of reverie. Drink and merriment were shared freely among old friends as they celebrated their reunion. Years of tension and grudges melted away as the night went on, momentarily forgotten by all but one.

The house is quiet, or rather,  almost quiet. Faint noises can be heard; soft groans, whispered words, and the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin. Two of the manors’ inhabitants remain wide awake. Downstairs in the lounge, the city’s Mayor and the newly elected District Attorney find themselves lost in the throes of passion.

You’re not sure how you got into this situation, bent over the poker table while Damien drives his cock into you over and over again with fervor. The night had gone well; you’d mingled with old friends, catching up over Poker and drinking games. It was just like old times, before everything went wrong. And just like old times, you'd felt Damien’s eyes on you since the moment you'd stepped foot in the manor.

~

“It’s good to see you, old friend. I must congratulate you on your new position.”

He took your hand, kissing it and giving you that dashing smile of his, the one you knew all too well.

“You look beautiful.”

It was easy at first to ignore his flirtation, to smile and roll your eyes as if he was just teasing you. But there had been a magnetic attraction between the two of you since you’d met back in college, and you felt its pull grow stronger as the night went on. You’d tried to ignore it, to remind yourself why the two of you could never work, why you had left, but every drink softened your usually sharp mind.

Damien fared no better, the alcohol loosening his lips and dulling his sensibilities. The two of you slowly navigated towards each other, always within arm’s reach, steadily moving closer and closer.

Your resolve, hung by a thread,  finally snapped late in the night. It was after the third or fourth round of shots. Damien and Marc sat out for the round (Although you couldn’t recall seeing Marc have a single drink the entire night), leaving you, Abe, and William. With the edge of the shot glass between your teeth, you tipped your head back too hastily, rivulets of tequila spilling down your front, dripping over your collarbones and into the hint of cleavage peeking out of your dress. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and set the glass down, meeting Damien’s gaze from across the room.

His deep brown eyes were almost black with how blown wide his pupils were, and the hungry look on his face sent electricity zipping up your spine. He raised an eyebrow at you, tongue swiping over his bottom lip, and you threw caution to the wind.

It didn’t take long after that for you to end up in Damien’s lap for the next round of Poker. Abe cracked a joke, and William teasingly offered the detective a place on his lap, to which Abe threatened to shoot the Colonel. Marc gave you a knowing smirk, but there was something in his eyes, a twinge of emotion you were too inebriated to decipher.

Damien’s hand slipped under your dress while the five of you played, inching higher and higher up your leg. He dug his fingers into the soft skin of your thigh, pinky tracing over the heat between your legs and you yelped, drawing all attention to you. Your addled brain came up with some excuse to satisfy the others. All the while, Damien smirked against the back of your head and slipped his fingers into your underwear to rub lazy circles over your clit.

You had your first orgasm of the night like that, hiding your face behind your hand of cards while Damien worked you open on his fingers. When the game ended, the other three men made an excursion to the kitchen for more hors d’oeuvres.

“It’s been too long, my love.” Damien whispered in your ear. “So desperate for release, you’d have me fuck you open with my fingers in front of our dear friends. Who knew the District Attorney could be so obscene?”

Before you could respond, Damien slipped his fingers into your mouth, forcing you to suck your release off them. You burned with shame, but god if it didn’t get you hot.

The rest of the night went by in a flurry of music and laughter. Damien continued to tease you until you felt about ready to explode. Just when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, Marc announced he would be retiring for the night and the other two men followed suit. You and Damien waved them off as they went up the stairs, explaining you were going to catch up a little before heading to bed yourselves.  

It took all of two seconds for you to end up straddled across Damien’s thick thighs. One of his hands was in your hair while the other was planted firmly on your hip as he licked a broad stripe up over your collarbones and to your neck where he started nibbling a mark into your skin.

“I never stopped wanting you, dear heart, never.”

“Damien-“

“Tomorrow, I want to prove to you that I’ve changed, that I can be the man you married, but tonight I need to feel you.”

~

“Damien,” you mewl softly, scraping your nails over the poker table’s felted surface.

“That’s it, my love, let me hear how good I make you feel.”

“Someone’s going to hear us and come downstairs.”

You can feel the way he smirks against your shoulder, never stopping the frantic thrusts of his hips.

“Funny, you didn’t seem to mind an audience earlier.”

“That was diff-”

Damien’s fingers rub harsh circles over your clit, and you cut yourself off with a moan.

“Fuck.”

“What foul language. Are you already so far gone, dear heart?”

“D-Damien.”

He moans at the way you clench around him. “Oh, my darling, how I’ve missed this. You were made to take my cock. Did you miss this? Did you miss me?”

Groaning, you nod the best you can. It’s been five years since the two of you separated, five years without feeling him fill you.

“Please Damien.”

“Please what, dear heart? Tell me what you want.”

“I want,” You gasp at a particularly rough thrust of his hips. “I want to cum, I’m so close.”

“I want nothing more than to feel you cum around me. But I need something from you first, my love.”

You whine helplessly.

“Shh, there’s no need to fret. I ask only one thing of you.” Damien pauses his thrusts, cupping the side of your face and turning your head towards him. “Say you’ll be mine.”

“Damien, I…you know I can’t do that. I-It’s been so long.”

“Then tell me you don’t love me anymore. Tell me and tomorrow we’ll act like this never happened.”

You open your mouth to respond, but you’re silent. Staring into his deep brown eyes, feeling his warmth pressed against you, filling you, you can’t find the words. You’re overcome with emotions, grief, fear, anger, hope…love. You love him. God, you’ve never stopped loving him, even after all this time, despite all that you’d been through.

“I-I can’t.”

Damien kisses you with a ferocity and a passion that is unmatched by anything you’ve ever felt. You grab his hair, giving as good as you get, moaning when he snakes his tongue into your mouth. Damien resumes his pace, slamming his cock into you, frantically chasing your release.

“Please, dear heart.”

The sound of his deep voice moaning in your ear sends you closer and closer to your release. You nod frantically.

“I’m yours, Damien. I’ve never stopped being yours. My heart belongs to you.”

He groans. “God, I’ve ached to hear you say that.”

“Do you…still love me?”

“Yes, dear heart. I love you more than words could ever express, nothing could ever change that, not time, not distance, not even death. You are mine and I am yours.”

Tears sting at your eyes and you don’t know what’s causing them, whether it’s the flood of emotions or the frantic pulse of your orgasm as it draws closer.

“Damien, I’m-”

“I know, so am I. I want you to cum with me, dear heart.”

His fingers returning to rub over your clit sends you careening over the edge. You arch your back, resting your head back against his chest and digging your nails into his shoulders. Damien grins down at you, his thrusts never faltering.

“That’s it. Cum for me, darling, say my name. I want the whole world to know you’re mine.”

You moan his name, not even attempting to remain quiet as waves of pleasure wash over you. Damien follows close behind, hips stilling inside you as he groans your name low in your ear. You feel the warmth as he finishes inside you, drawing out your orgasm.

As the two of you come down from your high, Damien tucks himself back into his pants. He scoops you up into his arms and heads upstairs. You rest your head on his shoulder and trace your fingers over the buttons of his dress shirt.

“I missed you.”

He pets your hair. “I missed you too.”

“We have a lot to talk about”

“I know, dear heart, but there’ll be plenty of time to discuss it all tomorrow. Tonight, just let me feel you.”

The two of you climb into bed, curling up in each other’s arms. Being with him like this feels like coming home after a long time away. You don’t know how you went so long without him beside you, and you can’t imagine ever being apart again. Upstairs in one of the guest bedrooms, the Mayor and the District Attorney drift off to sleep.

The house is quiet, or rather almost quiet. Outside lightning flashes across the sky and thunder cracks like a whip. Two of the manor’s inhabitants remain wide awake. Downstairs in the wine cellar, the Actor and the Colonel play a little game. A gunshot rings out, masked by another boom of thunder.

One of the manor’s inhabitants remain wide awake.

[reinxxoi]

𝒫𝓇𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓊𝑒

𝕎𝕙𝕠 𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕚𝕡𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕣?

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ๋࣭݁ ⭑🪩๋࣭ ⭑. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

The Long And Winding Road The Beatles

“the long and winding road

that leads to your door.

Will never disappear.

I’ve seen that road before.”

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

Me and Mark had a lot of history. He’s the one who metaphorically pulled me out of the hole that is addiction. That night he met me in the bar I was wasted and up to my eyeballs in debt but he paid my debts and set me straight. It’s thanks to him that I have my current job as a detective. Despite how close we are it did come as a shock to me that I received an invitation to poker night at Markiplier Manor.

I hopped into my 1974 Plymouth Satellite and began driving. I had no clue what to expect, it had been awhile since I played poker. Gambling is the reason I went so deep into debt, tonight would really test my sobriety. Turning on the radio The Long And Winding Road by The Beatles came on and I found myself humming along to the tune. I was big into The Beatles, pretty mainstream of me right? But what can I say? I’m a sucker for Beatlemania.

Passing by the portrait-esque landscape got me thinking deeply about the upcoming party. I pondered what the purpose of this party could be, I’m sure Mark had some cause for celebration. He always was one for the flamboyant aspects of life and yet he was also someone who struggled so much. To be honest I admired him deeply, my infatuation with him only grew stronger with each meeting I had with him. There’s something so charming about him, may it be the charisma or otherwise… Regardless, my attraction to him couldn’t be denied. I just hoped that I would get the chance to confess these feelings I had for him…

I finally pulled into the long drive, parking my car next to a 1976 black Cadillac Eldorado. It was a nice looking car, must’ve been bought pretty recently. Whoever drives this must be pretty well off. I stepped out of my car, staring up at the large manor in front of me. Outstanding was an understatement to say the least. This manor was straight from a movie. Looking at my invitation one last time, I inhaled the crisp morning air and headed inside.

“Why hello, invitation please?” An attractive man greeted me at the door… His attire, he must be The Butler.

“Ah, right.” I brought myself back to reality, handing him the invitation.

“Right this way, I shall fetch you a drink.” He smiled charmingly.

“No need, I don’t drink.” I responded dismissively. I don’t even need the temptation of alcohol, I know how I get when I start down that path.

The Butler shrugged and walked off.

“Abe!!” I heard a familiar voice. Turning, I see that it’s Mark walking towards me. His red silk robe complimented his muscular build so well. “It’s been too long, old friend!” He firmly shakes my hand.

“Truly.” I agreed. “You know, I was surprised by the sudden invitation. Do you have cause for such a celebration?” I inquired.

“Yes, yes! This shall be the celebration of the decade! Mayhaps, even the century!” He smiled so brightly, it put all my worries at ease. “Oh yes, I should introduce you to my good friend Damien! Right this way!” Mark led me into the manor, there stood yet another very attractive man in a nice suit and cane… I recognized him. “Abe, this is Damien, The Mayor.” He introduced us. “I’ll leave you two to entertain each other, I have other matters to attend to!” And with that he left us alone.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir.” I extend my hand for a greeting.

“Pleasure’s all mine, good sir.” He takes my hand, shaking it warmly.

“So how do you know Mark?” Damien asked me with genuine curiosity.

“It’s quite the long story and I wouldn’t want to bore you with the details, I’m sure you’re a busy man.” I dismiss the question politely.

“Oh please, we’ve got time! The Colonel hasn’t even shown yet… and who knows if he will.” Damien’s voice trailed off as his gaze fell elsewhere.

“If you insist…” I pause, trying to figure out whether or not I should tell The Mayor of my struggles with addiction.

“I do!” He eagerly interjects.

As I go on explaining my tale of woes to Damien I notice the door open and a surprisingly handsome and/or beautiful person enters, handing The Butler an invitation.

“Oh them?” Damien asks. “That’s The DA, and my old college buddy.”

“How nice…” I respond blankly. I was caught up with the person behind them. he wore a safari uniform… this must be The Colonel.

“Oh here they come! I must attend to this, pardon me.” Damien smiles softly, clearly allowing me to investigate this strange man.

I approach him cautiously, he was shockingly attractive. Under that helmet I knew he would be quite the gentleman.

“Can I help you?” He asks coldly, a stark contrast to the manner in which I expected from him.

“Perhaps you could, I’m Abe.” I extend my hand for a greeting.

“My friends call me The Colonel.” He grips my hand tightly. “I assume you shall call me the same by the end of the night.” He grins pompously.

“How long have you known Mark?” I inquire.

“Too long, that’s for sure.” He brushes aside the question.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, more curious now than ever.

“We grew up together is what I mean. And it shows.” He left it at that and before I could move on to another one of my many questions, our attention was drawn elsewhere.

“Welcome, welcome, one and all. My name is Markiplier, thank you for joining me on this auspicious evening.” Mark began to descend the stairs, stopping briefly to continue his monologue. “So good to be surrounded by such close and trusted friends… Now, this evening, it’s not all about the poker. It’s not all about me. It’s about you. So drink up and be merry! Life is for the living! And who knows? I could be dead tomorrow.” At that last statement he begins laughing uncontrollably. I was understandably caught off-guard by this but oh well…

We all go into the dining room and begin playing a round of poker, I didn’t want to drink very much due to my past in alcoholism but I figured I should take Mark’s words to heart, life is for the living after all.

We partied hard, The DA perhaps more than others. I didn’t expect someone so handsome and/or beautiful to party like an animal. Everyone was pretty black out drunk… everyone but me and Mark. We only got a little buzzed while everyone else went wild. After most people went to their rooms to crash, me and Mark were left.

The two of us sat on the couch for a moment..

“Quite the party, huh?” Mark smiled sadly.

“It certainly was.” I agreed, matching Mark’s somber expression.

“You know Abe… you’re my best friend” Mark remarked out of the blue.

“Where’s this coming from?” I was a little worried knowing Mark’s mental state..

“I just figured I should start appreciating the small things.” He stared out the window into the deep dark sky.

“Mark, you know you can tell me anything.” I took his hand.

“Abe…” He looked at me suddenly with tears in his eyes. “Not this, I couldn’t possibly tell you this.” Mark looked ashamed, as if he’d done something awful.

“I think you should get some sleep and we can talk it over in the morning, okay?” I pull him into an embrace. “Just sleep, don’t do anything else.” I mutter into his shoulder.

“I promise.” Mark held me tightly… too tightly.

I bid him a good night and started toward my room… I saw Damien carrying The DA back to their own room. I didn’t think much of it and I went into mine, crashing out at 1:16 a.m.

In the morning I woke up at 8:30 to an alarm. I definitely didn’t schedule it; so maybe Mark set it for the next part of his festivities. I got up out of bed and changed into some clean clothes, then I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

As I went through the mundane routines of the morning I began picturing Mark’s face last night… He stared at me as though that would be the last time I see him. I should really talk to him about my feelings, I’m terrified he could do something stupid.

I shook away the thought, I didn’t want to think of the fact that Mark could take his life.. I loved him too much to even consider the notion.

I finished up and headed downstairs, hoping to see Mark awaiting me. As I was headed downstairs I heard lightning strike.

“Did anyone hear that lightning?” I asked aloud to anyone. And then I saw The DA standing next to it…

It lay there cold on the floor… Mark’s dead body.

“OH MY GOD!! THERE’S BEEN A MURDER!” I scream for the whole manor to hear.

I run quickly to Mark’s side, trying to see if he was bleeding, perhaps we could still save him?

“Excuse me, did you hear lightni- OH MY GOD, MURDER!!” The Butler came in, seeing the grisly sight as well.

“Did you- MURDERRRRR!” The Chef screeched upon entering the room.

Each time the ‘M’ word was thrown around lightning would strike… It was almost supernatural.

I couldn’t help but notice how calm The DA appeared. Perhaps this murder had just occurred.

“What the hell happened here?! Who’s in charge around here?!!” I gripped The DA tightly by their collar. “Trick question- that guy. And he’s dead now, which makes ME in charge. So you better listen up good, bucko. ‘Case you haven’t been paying attention, there’s been a bit of a… killin’. ” I narrowed my eyes at them, hoping to scare them into confessing their crime.

There was a long pause, I was kind of hoping for a confession by now. No matter, I’ll just make it even more clear that this handsome and/or beautiful devil and/or angel is on my radar…

“And you’re my prime suspect. So you better get to explaining right quick as to the what, where, when, and why you happen to be here upon this man’s death.” I grill them even further. They seemed shocked by my accusation, perhaps they really didn’t do it..

“Sir, the body is cold… He’s been dead awhile.” The Butler interrupted. I felt my heart sink into my stomach, I felt like I was going to hurl. Was this my fault? Maybe I should’ve stuck by his side last night instead of telling him to sleep it off.

“A likely story… That I happen to believe completely. All right, you’re off the hook for now… But I’m a detective, and-“ Before I could finish my thought The Chef interjected.

“Oh yeah? Prove you’re a real dick!” He spat.

“Here’s my badge, asshole.” I showed him my badge but as I was doing so the photos of my old partners fell out with it.

The DA stared at them intently as if studying each of them individually. I saw their confused expression, they probably wondered how I knew these people.

“Ah, those are my old partners. Don’t ask me about them- Fine! I’ll tell you.” I didn’t leave much room for protest. “Each one of them died. Each death more tragic than the last. A few of them even died in ironically hilarious ways. Which made it all the more tragic” I explained.

The DA and Chef looked at each other in horror. I figured that’s the reaction I’d get, but I don’t need their sympathy or their trust. I’m investigating this murder case and that’s all that matters.

“But hey, you look like you’re up to the task. You’re my new Partner!” The DA shook their head aggressively clearly not wanting to become my temporary Partner. “That’s what all my old partners used to say… Right before they died.” I began to wonder if I may be cursed or perhaps unlucky.

The DA and Chef flashed each other another horrified expression. Specifically The Chef who looked like he had witnessed a murder before his very eyes… I should look into that.

“All right, hand me that finger printing kit behind you, partner.” I held out my hand waiting for them to do as I told them.

They reluctantly help me set up the crime scene, tracing the body, marking evidence, putting tape up. I was quite thankful to not be doing this alone, especially since the guilt from last night was taking over me… I felt awful for dismissing Mark the way I did.

After we set up the scene it was time to investigate..

“Thanks, Partner.” I nodded. I began inspecting the body when I heard footsteps approaching.

“What the hell happened here?” Damien asked, confused by the scene considering I had Mark’s body covered.

“Oh! Mr. Mayor… I’m so sorry, there’s been a murder.” As The Butler explains, lightning strikes.

“A murder?” Damien asks as more lightning strikes. “Who?” He continues with his questions.

“It’s Mark..” The Chef shrugs nonchalantly.

“I’m afraid he’s telling the truth… Mark’s been” I hesitated.. a part of me still didn’t believe it so to say it out loud was like trying to put your hand on a hot stove… realistically you could do it but something in your brain just prevents you from doing so. “…killed.” I finish.

“Why? Who would do this?” Damien didn’t understand any of this and it was clear. I know he’s childhood friends with Mark so this must sting twice as much as it does for me.

“That’s exactly what me and my new Partner are here to find out.” I reassure him. I know that I’ll uncover the truth and get answers to piece together why Mark of all people had to die.

“Um, excuse me. I feel like we should call the authorities for them to handle this matter.” The Butler chimes in.

“Look- Buddy, as far as you’re concerned, I AM the authorities.” I flash my badge at him. “The fact of the matter is… I believe the killer is right here amongst us in this very house.” My mouth moved before my mind did and came to the conclusion.

It shocked everyone else and even me… This night was for Mark’s closest friends so who here would want to kill him? And suddenly I made the connection… the lightning.

“With that freaky lightning storm outside, none of us would get very far anyway.” I concluded. I put my badge back into my pocket. “So in the meantime, we’re stuck here. But I’m gonna get to the bottom of this.” I reassured them.

I have full confidence in my abilities to find the culprit however I have this rookie with me now. I don’t even know why I brought them into this, something about their blue-ish, brown-ish, green-ish, hazel-ish eyes compelled me to do so. There may be hope for them yet, if we can just secure the area then together we’ll find the culprit.

“The rest of you, get back to your rooms, hunker down, and pray to God you’re not next to be murdered.” I firmly ordered everyone as lightning struck outside.

“I’ll… I’ll check on our other guests..” The Butler hesitantly left the room.

“I’ll get back to cooking… All this death made me hungry.” The Chef added, departing from the room.

“I- I need to talk to The Colonel about this.” Damien seemed to know more than he let on. Our first exchange was normal enough but when I met The Colonel… he was different. Damien left hurriedly, The DA staring at them as a lost puppy stares at a bone...

“All right Partner.” I brought them back to the reality of this tragedy. “It’s time to get to work. Judging by the temperature of the body that I measured rectally. Um, which is obviously the most accurate way to get the inner body temperature of a corpse… That’s a fact- totally procedure! Don’t tell anyone I did it.” I hurriedly finished the end of my sentence. “I am sure Mark was killed around 1:30 a.m. last night. So…” I stood up quickly. “What were YOU doing at 1:30 a.m. last night?!” I interrogated.

The DA told me that they had been asleep with their eyes open at 1:30 and so they couldn’t have killed Mark. And while it’s not a tight alibi, it’s the explanation I have to go off of so it’s time to question the other guests.

“I’m gonna ignore the strange fact that you sleep with your eyes open. But it checks out… So, we need to figure out where everyone was and what they were doing around that time or, at the very least, who saw Mark last.” I explained to my new Partner. “You need to get out there. See if you can piece together the story of what happened last night. I’ll stick around with the body and run more tests.” I kneel back down next to Mark’s body as The DA, my new partner, goes to interview the suspects.

I was conducting some more tests but the guilt of last night weighed heavily on my conscience so I left the room to get a class of alcohol from the kitchen… Something to calm the nerves, you know? But when I returned Mark’s body was gone

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

I knew I had to find my Partner and let them know what had happened. As I snuck out into the back I saw them talking with Damien. Hiding behind a bush, I listened in on the conversation. Once Damien began to walk away I knew I needed my partner’s attention.

“Hey! Partner! Get over here, now! Hurry up!” I whispered loudly, leading them back inside. “You’re not gonna believe this- I can barely believe this! The body- it’s gone. It’s just fucking disappeared. Look!” I led them back inside.

I showed them the scene and all that was left was an outline I drew before the body disappeared.

“WHO DID THIS?!” I shouted frustratedly. I couldn’t believe my stupidity. Once again my alcoholism is the reason people around me suffer. “It certainly wasn’t me! No, no… somebody, NOT ME, must have moved it between the time I was the last person alone with the body in the room and then stepped out for a few minutes to take care of some personal business that you don’t need to know about!” I began rambling again, speaking so fast I didn’t even know what I was saying. “Could have been anybody… except me.” I felt it was obvious although my Partner is new and might not be able to piece it together without me spelling it out.

“What the hell happened here?” The Butler entered, shocked.

“The body’s been moved.” I state plainly.

“On its own?!” He cried in terror and confusion.

“No- of course not! Unless it did, in which case we’ve got way bigger problems than a simple murder” A flash of lightning appeared in the sky after I said that.

“What the hell happened here?!” The Chef barged in.

“The body’s moved!” The Butler informs.

“On it’s own?!” He’s stunned at the notion.

“We haven’t ruled that out just yet, but let’s not forget we’ve got a murderer-“ The lightning interrupted me before The Colonel could.

“Bully!” The Colonel made his first appearance since last night… I had my suspicions about him. “Quite a storm out there, eh, chaps? What are you doing huddled in here in fear?” He asks without a care in the world.

“We have a zombie problem.” The Chef scoffs.

“Ahh, Homo Necrosis! The MOST dangerous game.” He gets in my face with that snarky smirk of his. “Well… if someone needs to put the old lad down again, I’m well up for the privilege.” He has a cheeky grin spread wide across his face… something about what he said didn’t sit right with me at all.

“What do you mean by again? And what do you mean by privilege?” I narrowed my eyes at him scouring for any reason as to why he’d kill Mark, his childhood best friend.

“I’m just saying… I’ve got plenty of- experience on the matter.” He gestured to the chalk drawing on the floor.

“So do I.” The Chef agreed.

“Yeah- that just raises more questions?” I was so confused… What could The Colonel mean? Was he speaking in riddles?

“Well I’m off to the grounds to see if I can catch a whiff of the old bag of bones, eh?” The Colonel walks off without a care.

“Wait- weren’t you and Mark the same age?” The Butler asks as The Colonel laughs boisterously.

I lean into my partner, if I can trust anyone with my detectives insight it’s them.

“All right. I don’t trust him. Then again, I don’t trust anyone.” The DA didn’t seem surprised. “All right, lock this place down. Secure the front gate. I don’t want anyone in or out of this place until we get to the bottom of this.” I ordered The Butler and Chef.

“Locks won’t keep people from getting out, sir.” The Butler timidly disagreed.

“Locks won’t” The Chef agreed. “But Chef will.” He walked out towards the front door.

“Look, you’re a real smart son of a bitch. handsome too, beautiful even.” I caressed The Butler’s face gently. “But! We don’t have time for this. I think we forgot the most important question of them all during our arousing game of whodunnit.” I began… “Why…? Why? Come, walk with me.” I gesture The DA to follow me.

We started down the hallway past the main entrance as I continued.

“Why did he invite us all here?? Why tonight?” I prompted the question neither of us had an answer to. “He said we were celebrating something, but he never specified what. It’s almost as if this whole shindig of a hootenanny was just a ruse.” I occasionally looked back at The DA who seemed to be lost in thought. Nevertheless, I continued speaking. “Mark was my friend, had been for years. But then he went quiet. I knew something was wrong, I just never figured out what…” As I went on, my body naturally came to a stop. “Now I guess I never will…” The words stung like a bullet to the heart, it was true though.

Mark is dead, he’s gone and there’s nothing I can do to bring him back. If only I had known how much danger he was in… Maybe then I never would have left him alone last night… Maybe he’d still be here.

“Look… I’m gonna level with you. You’re my new Partner. I’ve been working with them for years.” I continue walking and occasionally glancing back. “Now I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I know something is wrong. There is a murderer—“ The lightning causes us to briefly stop in our tracks. I look at The DA to make sure they’re okay. “Here amongst us, and we need to find him.” We begin climbing the staircase. “Now you look a trustworthy…somebody. I know we just met, but I am an excellent judge of character… Excellent like a fox.” I winked at them.

I smiled and fed them a line of bullshit. The truth was, I couldn’t trust them any more than the other skuzz around here. But like my late partner once said right before he died, best to keep your enemies close. Wink wink.

I suddenly stop as we head back down a flight of stairs and turn to face The DA, jutting a pointed finger at them.

“You don’t look like you have a reason to kill him. And if you do…” I laugh mischievously. “Best to keep your enemies close, eh? Wink wink.” I said as I winked at them. After that I continued my descent. “So, the real question we should be asking is: Who stood to gain the most from Mark’s death?”

The two of us continued through the manor as we talked.

“Now, in my thorough analysis of the corpse’s anal cavity, I discovered that in addition to being stabbed 37 times, he was also poisoned, beaten, strangled, drowned, and shot, in that order.” I began giving them the rundown on the autopsy. “Now, if you ask me… That’s a lotta trouble to go through to knock off one guy, and it sure as shit is no accident.” I led my Partner back up the stairs once again, continuing the conversation “No. No, my friend. There’s gonna be no simple candlestick-in-the-library solution to this whole… puzzle… So, we’re gonna have to do the detective-ly thing and go through the victim’s most private and personal possessions.” I led them to a door and they stood there with a blank expression. “Well? After you.” I prompted them.

We entered the room, it was a disaster. Bed sheets tossed on the floor, pillows, blankets, towels, and books were thrown willy nilly.

“Looks rough, but I don’t think he was killed here. Take a look around, see if you find anything, but BE CAREFUL! I’ve lost three partners before to bedroom booby traps.” I warned my new Partner.

The two of us begin to look around the mess of a room Mark left behind. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was always the state of it… I wondered if Mark had been struggling much more than I expected.

“Make sure you don’t tamper with any evidence!” I call to my partner from across the room. “Let me know if you find anything.” I add onto the previous statement.

The DA caught my attention by holding up a shattered picture frame with the colonel’s photo in it.

“You find a clue?” I inquire. While they inspect it I continue to look around, not paying much mind to who enters the room.

“You’re quite on the case, aren’t you?” The Colonel must’ve come in while I wasn’t looking. “Say, Detective? May I borrow your friend here?” He requests of me. I didn’t trust him but I hoped my Partner could squeeze some info outta him.

“Yeah, sure.” I agreed. “Don’t worry, Partner. I’ll handle it from here.” I reassured them.

“Bully…” The Colonel muttered under his breath.

The two left the room, I really hoped I could trust my Partner to get some information out of The Colonel. Perhaps a friendly ear would prompt him to confess to his alleged crimes. I continued searching the room when I found it, a news article about The Colonel. He had “allegedly” “accidentally” “killed” someone while on a safari trip and Mark covered his tracks… There it is, that’s all I needed. Motive for murder.

I tracked down The Colonel in the living room and pointed my gun at him.

“You filthy murderer!” I shouted.

“What the fuck are you on about, Detective?!” He instinctually grabbed his gun and I lunged forward to disarm him when he fired a shot, prompting me to back off. We were at a stalemate.

“ARE YOU NUTS?!” I yelled so loud my throat stung from the tension.

“Back away from me you psychopath!” The Colonel hissed.

Suddenly Damien and The DA burst in and saw the interaction unfold.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at but you better lower your weapon, you murderer!” I grip my gun tightly, so much so that my whole hand turned white. The lightning was simply white noise in comparison to this chaos.

“I bloody well won’t! You’re the one that assaulted me! For all I know, YOU could be the murderer!” He stepped closer to me as I backed further away. Once again, nobody noticed the lightning.

“What the fuuu- Oh!” The Chef ran in and was shocked to see two guns pointed at him due to our surprise by his sudden movement.

“LAST CHANCE! Drop your weapon!” I shout, prepared to fire a bullet right between his eyes. I didn’t want to do it but he was leaving me no choice.

“Master’s prized vase!!” The Butler shouted over a vase we had knocked over.

“Everyone please! I know we’re all on edge, but can’t we solve this amicably?” Damien interjected.

“On edge?! This PSYCHO tried to SHOOT ME!!” I snap back at Damien.

“That’s a bold faced lie! I was merely doing some light target practice!” The Colonel keeps stepping towards me causing me to fall back towards the front entrance.

“Inside?!” The Butler nearly had a heart attack upon hearing such a thing.

“Well, yes, I couldn’t go on the grounds now with that bloody Chef in my way, could I?” The Colonel grit his teeth angrily.

“Damn right! You should’ve remembered that, Private!” The Chef lunged at him, waving a ladle in his face. “Besides! You’re not my boss anymore!” He taps him on the head with the ladle he has clutched in his hands.

“It’s Colonel now” He looked like he was about to kill The Chef for that.

“ENOUGH OF THIS HORSESHIT!” I shout “You knew I was onto you and you were trying to whack me off before I could finger you…… As the murderer!” I trailed off as the lightning struck outside.

“I will not be called a murderer in my own home.” The Colonel furrowed his brows in rage as lightning stuck once more.

“STOP!!” Suddenly a women burst through the door.

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“What are you doing?!” The woman shouts frustratedly.

“Who the hell are you?!” I demand.

“Celine? What are you doing here?” The Colonel’s expression softens…

"Celine? How the hell do you know her?” I once again demand answers from somebody, anybody.

“Madame, l'm afraid you've come at a very inopportune time. Something dreadful has happened here.” The Butler welcomes her remorsefully.

“I can see that, I’m just glad I got here before it got any worse.” She seemed relieved and yet worried.

“This is only the tip of the iceberg! And it's a big iceberg. How can I put this delicately…” The Chef seemed as though he was searching for the right words to say to comfort Celine and yet how can you find something to say for something like this… ”MARK'S FUCKING DEAD!” Well- so much for delicately…

“What?!” She was clearly shocked, she now seemed sad, guilty, and perhaps even a little anxious.

“Dead like my hopes and dreams…” The Chef went on… “And he’s a flesh eating zombie too!” He exclaimed.

“Homo Necrosis!” Celine repeated the same words I had heard The Colonel say…

“Exactly! Hence, the guns!” The Colonel waved his gun around like it was a toy airplane.

“That is NOT hence the guns!” I shake my gun around as a gesture.

“Stop waving those bloody guns around!” The Butler interjects.

Me and The Colonel, even The Chef with his ladle, shake our weapons in his face.

“Hol-Hold on! Tell me what happened! How did Mark…die?” Celine asked, curiously.

“It was murder.” Damien chimed in as lightning stuck outside. “And worse yet, the body is missing.” He added.

“What? Show me! And don’t say that word!” She ordered all of us.

“What word? Murder?” The Chef asked as lightning struck.

“Yes! That word!” She was insistent about it.

“Well I mean murder is a rather accurate description of what occur-“ The Butler ignored the lighting but was stopped by Celine.

“Do you not see the lightning?!” She threw up her hands.

“You sayin’ it was lightning that murdered Mark?” I asked this weirdo chick, also ignoring the lightning.

“Well, Mother Nature doesn’t exactly strike me as having murderous intent.” As the Colonel said that more lightning struck. “Unless you count that time I was sucked into the board game Jumanji and I wa-“ Celine interrupted him.

“Stop! Stop! Look, whatever’s happening here is tapping into forces far beyond our control!” She exclaims.

Everyone looks around at each other until we all look at The Chef.

“Murder” He says quietly with a cheeky smile as lightning strikes…

“Mur….doch?” The colonel tests the waters and nothing happens.

“Malarkey.” I decide to try it out as well, once again nothing occurred.

We all look to The Butler.

“Marco!” He exclaims as the loudest of the lightning strikes.

“ENOUGH!” Celine shouts and suddenly we’re all sat down at a table. “Look… Mark’s death is a terrible thing indeed. But I fear that there are forces much darker than anything we’ve seen here today.” Celine began. “I’m well versed in the arcane arts, but if you, untrained and uninitiated can summon lightning with a mere word… We’re all in far graver danger than anything we could ever hope to face alone.” She continued… “We’re gonna have to work together if we’re gonna survive this.” Celine seemed to have a plan in mind but what good would witchcraft do? My job was to solve this whodunnit…

“Celine, what are you proposing?” Damien seemed worried.

“We need to speak with Mark.” Celine kept it vague as if she couldn’t trust any of us with this information.

“I knew it! He’s a flesh eating zombie!” The Chef slams his hands on the table.

“No…” Celine sighs, defeated.

“Well, maybe one of those smart zombies: homeo sapio zombifus!” The Colonel proposed.

“No! No! I need to commune with the dead.” She finally put her real intentions out there.

“That doesn’t sound like a good Idea.” I advised against it.

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t need your permission.” She glared at me. “But, YOU!” She pointed right at my Partner. “You’ve been awfully quiet through this whole thing.” Celine pointed out…

She did have a point, I didn’t even know my Partner’s name. All I knew was that they were the most goddamn handsome and/or beautiful person I had ever laid my eyes upon.

“With those beady little eyes.” The Chef added onto Celine’s statements about my so-called partner.

“And wearing THOSE rags? pff..” The Butler scoffed.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted someone so goddamn gorgeous.” I shook my head in disappointment.

They looked towards The Colonel who didn’t notice at first.

“Oh- I’ll pass.” He refuses to add on.

“But I feel like I can trust you… I sense you have a far greater part to play in all of this.” Celine continues, staring deeply into The DA’s eyes. “Will you help me find an answer?” She asks them patiently awaiting an answer.

The DA thinks for a moment and then nods. They had made up their mind and I knew there was no changing it… But still, this was too dangerous and I had lost too many partners to allow this.

“Alright, that's enough. I'm not gonna just sit around and let you drag my Partner off to their very likely death. I won't stand for it!” I stood up, angry with Celine for dragging them into this messed up game.

“Well I trust Celine with all my heart! I see no reason why an-any-any one should doubt her!” The Colonel, too, stands up, slamming his hands down on the table.

“Well, I have to agree with our intrepid detective here. It just doesn’t seem natural.” The Butler sided with me on the matter.

“I never liked this uptight asshole. He walks around with a stick up his ass.” The Chef shakes a finger toward The Butler. “But I think he’s right… Something’s weird.” He ends up agreeing with him in the end…

“If it makes you feel any better, you guys can stand watch outside the door, but my work CANNOT be interrupted.” Celine tries to negotiate but this still didn’t sit right with me.

“Oh believe you me. I’ll be keeping a close eye on every single one of you.” I began, looking around at all these guests… I knew one of them had killed Mark and I was going to bring them to justice. “Even myself… Especially myself.” I finished.

Celine got up from the table hurriedly, Damien and The DA following close behind as they all went upstairs.

The rest of us stared at each other, waiting for someone to break the silence.

“I’m going to grab a drink from the kitchen, I’m parched.” The Colonel was the first to speak up after what had just happened. He stood up and began towards the kitchen.

“Oh yeah? Well I’m going to make sure my Partner’s okay in there.” I try to one up him and quickly follow the others up the stairs.

Me and Damien waited outside the room in silence, just listening in. We hoped that maybe we’d get some insight too. Eventually we heard Celine shouting about something and I knew I had to stop this.

“What the shit is this?!” I barge into the room seeing The DA at a small table across from Celine. On the table, there’s various candles, and tarot cards, along with crystals scattered around like stars in the sky. I knew this ‘Celine’ character was bluffing about being a seer..

“Get out! We are not done here!” Celine hissed at me, pissed that I was here.

“Celine, I think this is quite enough.” Damien, the voice of reason chimed in.

“It’s enough when I SAY ITS ENOUGH!” She violently slams her hands down onto the table as she bickers with Damien.

As this went on I grabbed a piece of paper that had fallen off the table. I looked at it and it was a drawing of what looked to be a gardener… What could it mean- A groundskeeper. I had to find The Butler.

“C’mon Partner, let’s go.” I try to get their attention but they’re hyper-focused on the argument “Come on! Hurry it up!” I grab their arm and lead them out of the room.

I pulled them further and further away from whatever mess Celine dragged you into.

“What did she do to you? What is this?” I was at a loss for what to even say “Butler! Butler!” I cried.

“What? What is it?!” The Butler exclaimed, confused.

“This mean anything to you?” I asked him, hoping to catch him in a lie.

I showed him the drawing and The Chef arrived soon after, drawn by the commotion. He stared at it for a moment and then opened his mouth, hesitating before saying anything.

“Well, maybe… no, sorry.” He shook his head.

“Spit it out if you got something!!” I urge him to continue.

“Well… it could be our groundskeeper, George, but he only works on the weekdays.” The Butler admitted.

As The Butler said this my eyes wandered over to the chef who was super fidgety and nervous. He must know more than he’s letting on.

“Looks like your friend here may disagree with that notion.” I cross my arms, staring at him and waiting for an answer.

“Me?” The Chef tried to act surprised but I could smell a lie even if it was deep fried and fed to a hippo.

“Yeah, you.” I sarcastically remark.

“Uh… I don’t know shit man! I plead the fifth, man!” He nervously stood his ground.

“Chef, if you know something, for god’s sake spit it out!” The Butler for once was reasonable.

“Okay, all right, you’re twisting my arm” He began. “All right, George has been living on the grounds for years.” He finally spat it out.

“WHAT?!” The Butler was mortified.

“And you just now thought to share that information with us?!” To say I was shocked in an understatement… This revelation could have solved everything. “For all we know, HE could be the murderer!” I shout as lightning strikes once again.

“For the last time, stop saying that word.” Celine joins us in the hallway, Damien in her wake.

“Look, George just tends to the grounds, man. He’s a fuckin’ hermit!” The Chef is insistent that this George has nothing to do with what occurred last night.

“I don’t care what the fuck he is!” I disagree, this guy could have killed Mark in his own home.

“Look, all of this arguing is getting us nowhere! Just go outside and talk to this George and be done with it!” Damien was obviously fed up with the investigations and interrogations.

“Hold on a sec? You’re not coming with us?” I scoff, after everything that happened he still thinks he can just sit by idly?!

“I-I need to stay here with Celine.” He gripped his cane tightly.

“I don’t need help! Especially from YOU!” Celine scoffed, turning away from Damien.

“OUR FRIEND IS DEAD!” Damien shouts but then regrets raising his voice. He’s breathing heavily, the man is clearly frustrated. “I’m sorry… I just need answers to all of this. I already lost one friend today. I don’t want to lose another…” He admits his fear of losing Celine…

“Fine… but I need to stay here.” She sighs, turning back to Damien.

“Fine with me.” He nods.

“Fine, good, yeah, whatever, who cares? All right, you’re coming with me!” I look at The Chef, pointing a finger at him. “Partner, you too.” I look at The DA and we begin to walk towards the stairs when I realized it. “Hold on a sec… we’re missing somebody. Who had eyes on The Colonel?” I couldn’t believe my carelessness.

“Well, he appeared tired and went back to his room.” The Butler explained.

“I’m sure he did. And with any luck, he’ll stay there. All right, let’s roll out. Come on.” I gesture for everyone to start moving, we didn’t have much time. That George guy could flee at any moment.

I grab The Chef, making him lead us to George.

“Move it! Come on, Partner, come on!” I call out.

We made our way down the stairs, stopping at the back door.

“Lead the way cookie.” I insult him.

“Cookie? I’m not your cookie! I spent three weeks at culinary school!! I earned the right to be called a chef!” He got in my face, shouting.

“I’m very impressed.” I sarcastically compliment him. “Just tell us where we’re going!” I order. He looks as though he wants to fight back but bites his tongue. I shove him towards the door. “Come on! Let’s go!” I was fed up with this bullshit. It’s time to end all of this.

We go through the doors, walking around the old stone bricked building. This manor would be beautiful if not for the skeletons in its closet. But that wasn’t important… As we come around to the old stone stairs I see him, tending to the grass in the middle of the night.

I turn to look at my Partner who’s still following close behind. They give me a strange look, wondering why I’m staring at them.

“I think I see him.” I finally point out. We descend the stairs and I pull out my gun, pointing it at him. “Hey! Buddy! Hands where I can see ‘em!” I shout angrily.

“Hey, my hands are where they’re supposed to be. Unless, of course, you’d like to dig the hole for yourself.” He seemed aloof and as if this was no big deal. But…

He was right… I didn’t realize it before. It had been too dark to see but he really was digging a large hole…

“What the hell are you doing here?!” I come closer, expecting him to make a break for it soon.

“I’m the groundskeeper. I keep the ground, all right??” He rested the shovel on the ground, leaning on it like it was a cane. “I’d say, look around! The ground is pretty well kept in this place right?” He gestured his free hand towards the grounds.

“I’m sorry man. This DICK made me bring him out here!” The Chef pointed at me aggressively.

“You shut up!” I spat. “How do you not know about the murders going on in this house?” I asked, shocked by the lightning that struck over my head. “How do you not hear that lightning!” I gesture to the sky.

“Lightning is the sky’s business! Look at the ground! When the ground starts shooting up lightning, I’ll let you know!” George sarcastically responded.

“Alright then, smartass, why exactly are you digging that hole? And why shouldn't we suspect you for taking part in the death of your employer?” I interrogate him further. He just laughs.

“Employers come and go! Some die, some don't, some are murdered, some are not. It's not my business!” He rolls his eyes. “I’m digging this hole for a burst water pipe, if that’s all right with your gracefulness?!” His sarcasm was really starting to piss me off.

“See? I told you! George didn’t do nothin’ man!” The Chef spat at me.

“See?” George slams his shovel into the ground. “I just did nothing.” He scoffs.

“Forgive me for not taking you at face value.” I began sarcastically. “But we’re all gonna come inside, we’re gonna sit down, and have a nice lovely chat. And get to the bottom of this before I lose my mind and start dabbling in murder myself” The lightning is so expected now I didn’t even really react to it as much as I used to.

“Now you listen to me, sonny!” George begins, angrily. “It’s been fifteen years since I’ve been in that house and I am not about to break that winning streak now.” He shakes his head. “I don’t care how many murders there’ve been. I ain’t going near that house!” He was very insistent on it

The thing is, that just won’t cut it. We need everyone in the house so we can finally discuss everyone’s alibis. I need answers, not just for myself… But so Mark’s soul can move on.

Before I could think of something to say that would convince him, he started back up.

“However, there is one reason. One incident. One manifestation. That will get me to go into that mad house.” He finished as a silence washed over all of us… “And you had better pray to God that that reason never comes to pass.” He broke the silence created by him.

Suddenly a big flash of lightning strikes above the manor as all the windows inside shone brighter than the sun.

“THAT THERE’S THE REASON!” George shouts as he runs towards the manor.

We follow him as he heads up the stairs.

“Go, go, go!” I shout, making sure my Partner is still okay.

As we run, we pass by The Colonel who’s in complete shock. Then a door flies open and Celine emerges with an eerie light cast on her. I didn’t know what to do, I just stood there pointing my gun at her.

“Somebody help me!!” George shouts as he struggles to close the door.

The DA runs to his side, successfully helping him shut the door on Celine.

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George locks the doors with an old set of keys. Suddenly the house went back to normal.

“What the hell is going on?” The Colonel walks over to us, confused by the ruckus. “Where’s Celine?!” He asks, unusually concerned for her.

“She’s gone, and so is everything else.” George says bluntly, as he begins to walk away.

“Wait a minute! Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” I shout.

“Away from here! This place is cursed. If you had half a brain you’d all do the same.” He spat, leaving without a second thought.

“Don’t walk away from me! Where’s Celine?! Where’s Damien?!” The Colonel shouts, frustrated with the lack of answers.

“I’ve spent 25 years cooking for these uppity fucks! I’m not about to die for ‘em! I quit! Bitch!” The Chef shouts, leaving as well.

“I know things seem far beyond your control right now, but such that it is for all of us here. I shall take my leave and I implore you to do the same.” The Butler rests his hand on The Colonel’s shoulder.

“I won’t let my friends die in this godforsaken house!” He begins angrily. “And if you all are too much of a coward to do the same, you had best leave before I kill you myself!” The Colonel looks more angry than I’ve ever seen him. But he walks away without another word.

“Now you hold on a second, I’ve got more questions!” I shout after him, grabbing his arm.

“Get your hands off me!” He pushes me away, storming off.

“What the hell is going on here?!” I ask The DA before chasing after the colonel.

I chased him to his room but he slammed the door on my face, locking it.

“You can’t hide in there forever!” I shout.

“Oh yes I can!” He taunts me.

“I’m going to find something to break this damn door down, let’s see who’s laughing then!” I scream.

I left to go find a crowbar or an axe or even a simple lock-pick. I searched everywhere until settling for a slim, thin knife from the kitchen. I head back up to the colonel’s room, fiddling with the lock when I heard it.

“DETECTIVE!” The Colonel shouts from behind me, with a gun pointed at my head and The DA in his wake. Instinctually, I pull out my gun.

“You’d better choose your next words carefully, Colonel.” I grip my gun tightly, ready to fire.

“Only my friends get to call me that name by that name, and you, sir, are NO friend of mine!” He shouts angrily.

“Well you’re one to talk about friends, you Murderer!” I scream accusations at him as the lightning strikes.

“I didn’t kill anybody! This is MADNESS!” He doubles down.

“Oh? You wanna talk about madness? Madness is stealing your best friend’s wife!!” I had put two and two together… It took me awhile to piece the puzzle pieces together but now it made sense. I had heard Mark mention a Celine and divorce long ago… and seeing how the two of them acted together, it wad clear to me that The Colonel was the reason for the divorce. Not to mention the article I found about The Colonel receiving money from Mark. “Madness is squeezing him for cash to fund your own sick sexual exploits with that very woman!” I scream flying accusation after accusation at him, waiting for him to crack.

“SHUT UP!” He shrieks

“Madness is plotting the death of your childhood friend because you can’t handle the—“ Before I could finish there was a gunshot… Did… Did I shoot him?

I fell to the ground as the world around me went dark… I knew that this was the end for me.. I wanted one last look at my Partner but then another gunshot rang and my partner fell backwards down the stairs. I closed my eyes and embraced the darkness.

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I woke up in the hospital, my boss sitting next to me. He stood up upon seeing me awake.

“Abe!! Thank the gods you’re okay! Who did this?! Who shot you??” He held my hand, desperate to catch my attempted murderer.

“The… Colonel.” I whimpered weakly before the room went dark once more

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

back next

[elenavr13]

Echoes of Old Friends

Darkiplier x DA

Warnings: swearing

After the events of WKM, the DA attempts to move on & create a life for themselves despite being trapped in the mirror. Against their hopes & wishes, their past seeks them out in the form of a familiar face.

*What Could Have Been- Sting*

*I may expand this & turn it into a complete story in the future.*

--------------

            Daylight filters through the cracked glass reflecting the main entrance of the decrepit, forgotten manor. Mindlessly flipping through the pages of one of the books I have read a thousand times, I suddenly feel a chill crawl down my spine. What the hell? The physical feeling startles me back to reality because I haven’t felt anything like that in years. Immediately, I close the book & scan the room, nothing not even in the outside world. Faint tapping screams through the silence-drowned manor. Probably just the weather. After a few seconds, it occurs again. This time I realize the odd sound is coming from inside the house. My mind starts spinning with ideas of what type of animal has climbed through a broken window or one of the rotting walls. Maybe it’s another raccoon coming to search through the rubble or maybe the squirrel I saw the other day has come back. Excited to see a living creature, I get up to find it. Before I can even travel to the next reflection, a voice freezes me in place.

            “Y/n, I know you’re in there. Come out.” There’s people here!

            “Y/n?” I whisper to myself. Something about that name tugs at my heart. Then again that voice is also eerily familiar. I jump from reflection to reflection searching for any sign of the people with no luck. Suddenly, the realization hits me. Y/n, that was- is my name. My name is Y/n. I haven’t heard that name in years. The last time I…that voice…Damien?  Appearing in the mirror that holds my soul hostage, I see the man who used me & shattered my heart. Sorrow in addition to hope consumes me upon seeing him but it quickly gets replaced by bubbling rage.

            “Why are you back?” I seethe.

            “You don’t seem very pleased to see me.” His smooth voice provokes me.

            “& why should I be? You’re the last person I ever want to see.”

            His jaw clenches but he continues. “I can get you out of there.”

            “I don’t want your help.”

            He smirks. “Stubborn as always but I can give you what you want. All I’m asking is that you…”

            “I want you to leave.” He appears taken back.

            “Even after all these years you still blame me. We were happy before that night & we can still be happy if you will only listen to me.” Anger emanates from his voice as it increases in volume.

            Unfazed by his temper, I snap back. “We? There is no ‘we’ not after what you did, Damien.”

            “It’s Dark now.” He sneers

            “Oh, I apologize, Dark.”

            “That snake took everything away from me! I was merely protecting you from him. It was for the best.”

            “You know what would have been ‘for the best’? If I had never agreed to your fucking deal. I trusted you & you betrayed me. Mark may have been the cause of all this but he never did anything to me. You on the other hand took everything away from me! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Just leave me alone! Leave me alone like you have for the past however many years it’s been.”

            “91” My anger immediately dissolves from his simple answer. 91? It’s been 91 years since that night? I’ve been trapped in a reflection utterly alone for nearly a century?

            “You just expect me to agree to your plan after you abandoned me for a century? I’ve managed to make some semblance of a life without you- without anyone for that matter. I Don’t Need You. Why do you even want to ‘help’ me? I don’t have anything anymore. I am just a reflection of a person because of you. So tell me, what are you going to gain from ‘helping’ me? ”

            He continues to stare back with a blank expression which only ticks me off more. Before I do anything irrational –like I could– I begin to leave to another reflection in the manor. “I miss you.” His baritone voice stops me.

            Without turning back around to face him, I say, “Little late for that, Damien.”

            A deep growl keeps me in place. “I tried to play nice & you still view me as the bad guy. I thought you were better than that.” This time I spin on my heels to face the man I used to believe was my friend.

            “& I thought you were better than to destroy what we had.”

            “I didn’t destroy…”

            “Go ahead, keep blaming Mark for your actions.” Suddenly he takes a hold of the frame surrounding my vision of the outside world & rips the mirror off the wall.

            “I have heard enough of your insolence.”

            “Put Me Back! Damien, put…”

            “Stop calling me that name!” I glare daggers at him but he seems to be amused by it. “How are you even going to stop me, doll?”

            “I’m not your doll.” Rage gets the best of me I throw a punch which would have made contact with his smug face if not for the glass separating us. Instead of flinching, his smirk just grows as he leaves the manor with me in tow. I attempt to jump to another reflection but some force keeps me tethered to the single, wretched, glass prison. Knowing there is nothing I can do, I fall silent, exhausted from my outburst. Why can’t I just be happy? I was just starting to get better & move on. Now Damie- Dark is back to remind me of the life that was stolen from me. What did I do to deserve this endless suffering?

[bloodgreyhare]

Uhm..

(the 2nd pic, I just woke up earlier and drew that.. because I'm..I DON'T KNOW MAN-)

(The ship is stuck in my head.. help-💀)

[zee-stars]

*slams open the drawer I've been hiding in*

Some dude just found your blog!

I'm thinking, dark, yes, but DAMIEN. MY MAN IS WAY TOO HOT.

So Damien/dark whatever, with a DA who gets killed instead of like actor mark, they die instead in the events of WKM.

If you can GN reader :)

-out of pocket anon

OMG yes!!!! This is an amazing idea!! Sorry I took so long to answer lmaoo

Anyways, I was gonna wait until I wrote the fic to post this but I'm so bad at actually writting so I'm just gonna make a small blurb for now but probably making something bigger later!

Okay so like I'm thinking the night of the party you and will sneak off to play a little game.

Will told you there wasnt any bullets in it, you dont remember where he got it but you remember Mark had given him something thing earlier so you assumed it was from Mark.

So you play a few rounds, both you and Will laughing each time you hold the gun to your heads and pull the trigger. Nothing happens.

Except one time you feel a sharp pain in your head, and Will stops laughing. Your vision goes blurry and you feel really dizzy.

All you remember is you falling to the ground and Will sits above you crying asking you to stay awake.

You wake up again, as a ghost, you watch the events go on of WKM and here's a really cool thing,

One time Damien falls asleep out of exhaustion and in his dream he sees Mark loading a gun with one bullet, giving it to Will, you guys playing the game and you dying. He has put it all together.

Next thing you know he's going after Mark saying he killed them and all that.

That's all I can think of rn but again I will probably make this into a bigger fic.

Thank you so much for requesting!!

[missxfaithc]

Can anyone recommend me some good DarkiplierxReader fics?

[thatchaoscreator]

Nightmares

(Word Count: 385)

DA x Darkiplier

TW!! Mentions of death, brief mention of rituals, Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attack

Reader discretion advised

_________________________________________

I woke up with a start, a bead of sweat on my brow. I could only hear my heart pounding in my ears. It was another nightmare about that night.

I feel the bed shift before his arms wrap around me. I must have woken him up. I was still gulping breaths like I had just nearly drowned. I was surrounded by his cologne helping to ground me from the terror that shook my bones and sent electricity through my veins. I took a deep breath letting the smell of pine and peppermint fill my nose.

"Morning, Damien."

"Good morning. Are you alright?"

I turned to get a look at his expression. His dark raven hair draped around his face framing it like a portrait, his eyes a heterochromic red and blue, his appearance tainted from the cruel events that still torment my mind.

"...yeah, I'm okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

He pulled me closer, resting his chin in my hair.

"You're still getting those nightmares, aren't you?"

I fall silent. It seems even after all these years he can still read me like a book.

"Yeah…"

"How far did it get this time?"

"It started with the ritual…" I pause. The next part was always the hardest. I always wake up shortly before or after my death. "I woke up when I landed." My voice died in my throat as I held him close. My stomach was still recovering from dropping to my feet after having been forced to relieve my death again. You never forget the feeling of falling to your death.

He didn't speak, merely nodding as he stroked my hair comfortingly as I rode out the final tremors of anxiety and adrenaline. Once my body deemed it safe to relax again, I slumped against him releasing the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. He still didn't speak much to my surprise. Then again, there were times where his voice alone was able to throw me into a panic. I appreciate his caution and consideration.

"Damien?"

I got a hum in response.

"hmm?"

"Thank you… for staying with me…"

"Of course."

The rest of the night was spent holding each other tightly as we ward off any more lingering memories of the night that tore us apart.

At least we have each other now.

[alaroweq]

Back on my markiplier universe songs bullshit. Going under by Evanescence but it's DA and Dark. That's it that's the post.

[bebackthen]

MCU art and roleplay call??? mayhaps...

———

recently i had a big wave of nostalgia and ended up rewatching ISWM part one.. and because im crazy i decided to remake my old viewer-insert character and redraw my favorite ego(s). firstly- warfstache.. which shouldnt be a surprise.

secondly!! head engineer mark! i cry every time i replay ISWM, it brings up so many emotions in me- same as WKM did back when i was a wee thirteen year old..

i need to draw more of the egos too.. i want to draw some more WKM stuff too, mostly colonel/damien centric,, but for now!! have my viewer-insert! i was so young when WKM came out, and i think of it so so so fondly.. it was probably my first introduction to reader-insert things,, and the only fandom i could willingly read reader x character fanfiction and not be completely weirded out that it didnt fit the story. ANYWAY!! this is "Y/N"-iplier!! my viewer insert character. or, otherwise called, "whyin-iplier"!! (name courtesy of my friend! @thelesbianjeffthekiller). our intrepid hero- the district attorney!! their timeline is.. nonlinear, much like warfstache- they exist in multiple timelines at once as one. "starting" in WKM, they after the events of the story, possess actor!marks body and "escape" the manor. going on to adapt and take on the name "calamity" next- "paradox" existing simultaneously to WKM, they both are and arenot aware of the events of the past! having aged in the time passing since WKM despite not having lived it.

their nametag in the ISWM design is "M2017" in reference to when WKM originally came out !!

calamity is as old as WKM- with their original design being EXTREMELY different from their current one- though, im much to embarrassed to post the single image i have of it online... (most of his old art got lost after i got locked out of my old gmail..)

whyway i think about them a normal amount.

man.. i didnt have Tumblr back in the height of the markiplier fandom.. i would've gone insane. i was an animo kid, sadly..

when/if i find any of my old warfstache art ill definitely redraw it. that being said... id love to do a roleplay featuring the MCU (markiplier cinematic universe) if anyone was interested... i have played as warfstache the most, but i wouldnt be opposed to playing other egos (actor, damien/dark, jim)

[fictionalsownme]

the feminine urge to write damien x district attorney from their days back at university (silent yearning, a drunken kiss they both pretend to not remember, confiding in each other & taking care of each other in small ways no one else would notice) but knowing it would all end in tragedy anyway

[westanthewaterman]

Feel You - Dark x GN!DA!Reader

Rating: NSFW

Word Count: 1700+

Summary: Reunited after a century apart, Dark and the District Attorney spend some quality time together. Or more simply put, love sick Dark -> feral Dark.

Contents: handjobs, penetrative sex, no pronouns or body parts used for reader, standard Dark pet names (dear heart, pet, etc.), mild voice kink, blink and you miss it references to Dark's mind powers

AN: Idk where this came from, but it was fun to write. I'll post to AO3 and add all my usual links later, I should've been in bed an hour ago. If you're still here despite my hiatus, I appreciate you.

This fic is a sequel to 'Tomorrow, Tonight' but can be read as a standalone.

Fic Masterlist - Find it on AO3

         Dark hikes your leg up onto his hip. He relishes in the softness of your skin beneath his fingers, a concrete reminder that you’re here, that you’re together again after everything.

         The new position allows him more space to roll his hips, grinding down against the heat between your legs. You shudder beneath him. He repeats the motion once, twice, and you throw your head back against the pillows.  His hungry, grey eyes follow the column of your throat upwards until they land on your mouth. Your lips part around a whimper and he can’t stop himself from pressing a kiss against them.

“I’ll never tire of hearing you sing for me, dear heart.”

“Damien,” You whine before hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

“I think it’s a little late to hide from me now.” He chuckles. “What’s gotten you so shy, darling?”

“You never talked this much before.”

         Dark tenses, a familiar, far-away look in his eyes, one he always gets when the two of you discuss the past. You cup the side of his face, gently guiding his gaze back to yours. He blinks. A melancholy smile settles on his face. You pull his head down so that you can press your forehead against his.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong, my love. There are bad memories, yes, but also good ones. In fact, I can recall quite a few memories of us just as we are now, bare in each other’s arms, locked in the throes of passion.”

There’s a wry smile on his face, one that reminds you of evenings spent tucked away between bookshelves, sneaking out of dormitories at the crack of dawn, a rendezvous in the storage closet of a crowded chapel. Your heart aches for all the two of you have lost and can never get back. But despite everything you had been through, the two of you were together again.

Dark presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I can feel how your mind races. I think about it too, even now. Almost a century without you and I never stopped feeling your absence. I ached to hold you in my arms, to have you beneath me, to feel you tight as a vice as you come apart around me.”

A thought creeps into your mind and turns your stomach to lead. He had been by himself for so long, sure you were gone forever. You couldn’t blame him or be angry, but still the thought makes you sick.

“Was,” you pause a moment, steeling yourself for his answer. “Was there ever anyone else? In your heart, or your bed?”

He looks at you as if your words have burned him. When he speaks, his voice is firm, unwavering.

“No. My dear heart, there could never be another. I vowed to love you in sickness and in health, in love and in death. There could only ever be you.”

“Oh.” You blush.

The intensity of his answer makes you feel foolish for even suggesting such a thing. You drop your gaze, absently picking at the sheets beneath you. It’s Dark’s turn to take your face in his hand and bring your gaze back to him.

“I loved you deeply, but I know my actions did not always convey that. At times, I allowed my responsibilities and ambitions to blind me to how I was neglecting you. You deserved a better man than I knew how to be back then, and I have spent a century regretting it. But now, despite terrible circumstances and the battles still to be fought, we have a second chance, and I intend to use it to do right by you.”

“Damien, I…I don’t know what to say.”

“There is no need to say anything, dear heart. I know you feel as strongly as I do; I feel it through our bond, and soon I’ll feel it here as well.”

Dark presses a finger against your entrance, pressing it into you slowly. You cry out, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him flush against you

“You said earlier that I never used to talk very much when we were intimate, and you were right.” His voice drips with venom as he continues. “The prim and proper mayor, so worried about civility and manners. Too obsessed with his image and what was ‘acceptable’ to truly speak his mind.”

You want to argue, to defend Dark’s former self against his own harsh criticism, instead a moan rips its way out of your throat when two more fingers fill you. Dark’s grin is wicked. He ducks down to press his lips to your ear, taking your earlobe between his teeth and giving it a quick tug. You clench around his fingers, earning an amused chuckle.

“I have no such worries. My only concern is pleasing you and, by the way your body responds for me, I can tell I’m doing just that. This little hole of yours is so hot and tight around my fingers, and it’s all for me, isn’t it?”

A shudder wracks your body and you moan, digging your nails into his shoulders.

“Oh,” Dark purrs. “Now what got that reaction? You like when I talk to you like this, don’t you, pet?”

“Y-Yes.”

“But what is it that has you so responsive? Is it my voice in your ear? The things that I’m saying to you? Or maybe none of that matters. Perhaps I could say anything, and you would respond just as wantonly, so long as I have you filled with my fingers or my cock.”

“All of it, it’s all of it. Damien, fuck.”

“Dear heart, such foul language. Have I already wrecked you so thoroughly?”

You scowl at him but you both know there’s no mirth behind it. “Fuck you.”

         There’s a wicked glint in his eyes as Dark grabs a handful of your hair, pulling just enough to force your head back and bare your throat to him. Sharp canines scratch playfully against the sensitive skin of your neck.

“You should be careful what you ask for, my love. I am a changed man with a century of pent-up sexual frustration. I could take you over and over and over again, never tiring until I have given you every drop of my spend and the only word you know is my name.”

Dark sets a languid pace thrusting his fingers in and out of you.

“You want it now, just as much as you did back then, isn’t that right? You wanted the serious, respectable mayor to break. You craved to be taken passionately, for him to make love to you like a man starved.”

“Yes, yes.” You nod frantically, bucking your hips against his hand.

“I have hungered for you for so long, dear heart; I feel almost ravenous with it.”

Dark removes his fingers from you and fists his leaking cock, stroking himself slowly. You find yourself mesmerized by the motion and the way his stomach muscles tense and flex with every stroke of his hand. Your eyes follow a drop of his arousal as it drips down the underside of his cock. You lick your lips. Knocking his hand out of the way, you take him in your own, his length hot and heavy in your palm.

         He groans appreciatively as you stroke him from base to tip, occasionally rubbing your thumb over the head of his cock. You guide his hand to rest over your heart.

 “You’ve spent all this time talking about what I want and how you can please me. What do you want?”

“I want to make up for lost time. I want to give you everything I could not before.”

“But that’s still about me. Damien, what do you want?

He falters. “I…I just want you. I want to feel you. I want to know that you are real, and not just some illusion he made to torment me.”

“I want to feel you too.” You guide the head of his cock to your entrance. “I’m here, my love. I’m real. This is real.”

Dark presses into you in one long, slow thrust that has him buried to the hilt. Both of you moan at the sensation. You wrap your legs around his waist and urge him forward, forcing his cock deeper inside.

“Fuck, my love, I never thought I would feel you like this again.”

You smirk. “Such foul language, Damien. Now who’s wrecked who?”

Instead of a response, Dark grabs your face and presses your lips together in a passionate kiss. So much is shared between you in this single moment of contact, decades of sorrow and grief, an emptiness immeasurable by time. But there is also hope and joy, lust and elation. Most importantly, there is love; a love that has weathered the test of time and survived even the most unthinkable circumstances.

The two of you pull apart, both crying and holding each other like your lives depend on it.

“I love you, dear heart. Thank you for coming back to me.”

“I love you too, Damien. Thank you for finding me.”

Dark speeds up the pace of his thrusts, breathing heavily in your ear.

“I am afraid it has been too long, my love. I have spent a century waiting to feel you like this again and now I find myself unable to hold back my release.”

“I’m close too. You feel so good.”

“I want you to cum with me now. Let me feel you.”

         He grabs your thighs and presses them back so that he can rut into you, ruthlessly. You cry out at the way the new angle causes the head of his cock to brush against a sweet spot deep inside that has you seeing stars. Your orgasm washes over you and you finish with a cry of his name. The tight heat of you bares down around him and the dam holding back Dark’s climax breaks. Waves of pleasure crash over him as he stills inside you, filling you with his release.

         The two of you lay together in silence, collecting your bearings. You think you might fall asleep until Dark gives a shallow thrust, his cock still hard inside you.

“How-”

He gives you a wicked grin and presses his lips to your ear.

“I told you I was a changed man, dear heart, and we have quite a lot of lost time to make up for.”

[mothgodofchaos]

Tense

Good ol' fluff.

Damien x GN!Reader, TW: none Words: 614

The click of his cane against the marble flooring sends a sense of relief down your spine, looking up to meet his eye as he enters the threshold.

“Hello, my dear. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, Damien.”

His gaze washes over you, his lips curling into a frown. As he approaches, you feel your shoulders finally relax as you sit back in your office chair.

“Considering that you looked incredibly tense when I first walked in here, I sincerely doubt that. Tell me what’s on your mind, dearest.”

Damien leans against your desk, a hand on your shoulder gently applying pressure while the other stabilizes him with his cane. As he tries to work out the knots in your shoulders, you ramble to him about the pressures of work, the responsibilities you’ve had to take on, and how tired you are at the end of the day. Speaking to him about these sorts of things is easy, it feels less natural to try and hide it from him. Not that you haven’t tried, but his sweet words and soft encouragements to lay out what is on your mind makes those walls you put up crumble down.

As you finish, he wipes tears of frustration from your eyes and holds your cheek.

“Thank you for telling me. Is there something I can do for you? Beverage? Take you out for food for a while to clear your head? I don’t see much evidence that you’ve left your office at all, dearest.”

A quick glance around the room makes it obvious that you’ve been holed up here for quite a while. Papers strewn across the table and some on the floor, a blackboard behind you with words that only the greatest of linguists would be able to decipher as English. And the long cold pot of tea that you had barely touched before getting engulfed in your work. You take his hand, offering you a way out. Your knuckles are raised to his lips before he pulls you closer to him, prompting you to take his arm as he leads you out of your office.

Damien takes you to a little café around the corner, one you used to frequent more often with him when your working hours lined up better. Since his retirement from his mayoral position, he’s taken up a lesser position with the parks and recreation division. When he took the job, he mentioned how at peace he feels in nature. And you can tell it’s done nothing but wonders for him. The date is charming, full of laughter as he tries to get you to ease up and relax. A look in his eyes and you see the man you married on your wedding day all over again.

“Shall I escort you back to your office? Or could the greatest district attorney possibly grace their husband with their presence on the drive home~?”

No matter how many times he calls you that, it never fails to bring a dusting of blush to your cheeks. He takes your hand, pressing his lips to your knuckles, and then your palm, and then your wrist. You know he’s trying to seduce you into coming home, and you hate that it’s working.

“Alright Dames, I’m coming.”

You’re scooped off your feet and into his arms as he carries you back to the car. Slowly, as the balance from his cane is not there. But you’re placed in the car with a kiss to your temple before he rounds the vehicle and gets in the driver side.

“You know I can never say no to you when you do that.”

“I’m aware.”

“Sly devil~”

“Sweet angel~”

[reinxxoi]

𝕄𝕦𝕣𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ๋࣭݁ ⭑🪩๋࣭ ⭑. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

₊ ⊹✮.* ⋆ :.𖥔 ݁ ⊹✮ ⋆｡°✩ . ݁₊ ⊹

Wilford Warfstache x Detective Abe

Who Killed Markiplier Fanfiction

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲

Detective Abe has Mark to thank for beating his struggles with addiction. Now that he’s well established in his career he has no problem avoiding alcohol until he receives an invitation to poker night at Markiplier Manor.

When the night goes from harmless fun to an unsolved murder, Abe is tasked with finding out who dunnit. This choice results in him being shot through the heart and on a manhunt for three years searching for Colonel William J. Barnum.

When he finally encounters him, there are more feelings than anger that Abe feels towards the man who stole everything from him.

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐔𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬?

New chapters will come out as I write them. Please do not rush me as I experience burnout very easily.

Playlist

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

Homophobia, Murder, Violence, Drugs, Sex, Mental Health, Suicide, and Addiction.

Other than that, please enjoy Murder at the Disco!

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Prologue- Who Killed Markiplier?

Chapter 1- Fame, Guts, Glory

Chapter 2- A Dead End Road

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

[seaofghouls]

Iplier Falls

Authors Note: 

Hello hello and welcome back! ( Or if you’re here for the first time, I’m glad you chose to check this fic out! Welcome! ) Never thought you’d see a rewrite of Gravity Falls x Iplier Inc in 2024, huh? The ALTRVerse comic has given me the motivation to get back into Markiplier Lore and hence I’m here!

This is the prologue and hence it's just a test to see how people react to it. If people react well, I'll put the story up on AO3 and make more chapters!

Some things to note about this fic: 

It’s an X Reader and the reader is indeed the District Attorney from Who Killed Markiplier! ( So, obviously, WKM spoilers ahead! ) 

This is a Dark x Reader specifically. 

This fic is in the second person and the reader is gender neutral! 

Genderfluid Dark is canon in this fic, so I’ll be using He/She/They for Dark. 

In Space With Markiplier will also be incorporated, so spoilers for that as well. 

This story will follow the Gravity Falls story, but there’ll be added story for episodes revolving around the Pines family specifically. 

This story contains things like profanity, blood, near death experiences, talk of mortality/death, and angst! 

Tag List: @a-frozen-bag-of-corn @crazy-obsessed-enby @lunariasilver ( Not sure if any of you remember this series, but I figured I’d keep up the tag list! ) 

Without further adieu, I hope you enjoy it! 

—-------------------------------------------------------

“What has he done to you?” 

They looked so familiar. Like a far away dream. 

“Captain, you can’t possibly listen to this monster! You can’t trust him!” Mark yelled.

“My little monster, I beg of you. Open your eyes. He takes away all that you love.” She begged. 

That name.. It was like a puzzle piece. Everything snapped back into place in an instant. You weren’t a captain! You went to school for law, not to be the captain of a spaceship. 

“.. Damien?” You whispered. 

“Ugh, you’re just impossible!” Mark snapped, “How am I supposed to make the perfect story if all you do is mess it up!” 

You couldn’t help but tense up at the sudden change in tone. That was right, this wasn’t your trusted second in command. This was a man long gone, a man permanently warped by the manor. 

He twirled his cane in a clean and swift motion, aiming it towards you. 

“I’ll just have to make sure you don’t remember any of this.” He threatened. 

Dark intercepted Mark’s attempt with his sword, pushing Mark back a few feet. 

“Not on my watch. Never again.” 

Mark simply laughed, “The hero always wins. It’s the only way the story can go.” 

Dark simply grit their teeth in response, slashing the sword against Mark’s chest. Although it barely grazed, it was enough to catch him off guard. 

You watched as the two went head to head, being able to do nothing to stop either side. Even if you were willing to get in the way of the two, you had no weapon or no powers to do anything. 

Actor sputtered as Dark tore open a gash across his chest. His blood was red, but not the usual type of red. Bright red, instead of crimson. Actor was caught off guard for just a second until he scrambled back, unsheathing his cane. 

You’re sorry. Unsheathing his cane? That was insane! What was even more insane was the fact that the bottom of the cane was a dark red double sided axe. Dark seemed just as caught off guard as you were, as Mark obtained a window to slash her in the chest.

“Dark!” You called out. 

He only spared a moment to look your way, with a look in their eyes signaling that they were alright before attacking Mark once again. SImilar to Mark, her blood was an inky black. Something inspired Dark to go full force, you weren’t sure if it was you or the entire revenge pledge. 

He pierced Mark in the heart with their sword as Mark sputtered, that sickly red spilling out of his chest. He didn’t say anything after that, only heavy and labored breathing being heard from the previously lively body. 

“We best be going. The Snake never stays dead for long.” Dark said. 

You didn’t say anything as she opened a portal similar to the ones you’d seen as the captain of The Invincible. Except, it looked a bit like the Noir universe. A combination of black, white, and grey. You simply followed him inside the portal. What other choice did you have? Stay in this void until Mark’s body inevitably rose from the dead? The old Homo Necrosis didn’t sound like a fun route to go down. 

Which led you to where you are now. A sleepy town named Gravity Falls. Dark had said that the laws of the town would cover up the tracks of you two, making it harder for Mark to find you again. You still had quite a few strong words for Dark, considering he trapped you in a mirror for decades, but that was the thing. It had been decades. You didn’t know what else to do other than follow them. Mark was obviously a no-go. 

“Please, call me Dark.” He had said, “Damien and Celine are both.. Long dead. I have an apartment set up in the town, we can stay there until we know how to deal with The Snake properly.” 

“Okay.” You said, “In that case, call me Captain. The person I used to be died in that house.”

She simply nodded, “As you wish.” 

The two of you had been wandering around the town when you spotted a hiring sign for a tourist attraction. 

“We could work here.” You said, “We need some way of paying rent, right?” 

Dark hummed in thought, “It couldn’t hurt, I suppose.” 

You strolled into the attraction with Dark following close behind. You spotted an older man shuffling money while standing at the cash register. He was probably the owner, right?

“Excuse me, are you the owner?” You asked. 

He nodded, “What’s it to ya? You’re not the government, are you?” 

“No, no, nothing like that.” You said. A little like that, but you weren’t going to tell him that.

“My friend and I heard you were hiring.” 

“Great! You’re hired. Call me Mr. Pines.” He said, “You start tomorrow.”

“We’ll be there!” You smiled, as you walked back outside to talk to Dark in semi private. 

“Have you learned nothing from your district attorney days?” He teased, “Truly, though, that man was a bit too eager.” 

“Hey, it’s a job, isn’t it?” You shrugged, “Times have changed.”

“That they have.” She nodded, “Would you like to get some champagne? As a little celebration.”

“Really? Just like we used to? Even after everything that’s happened?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“Especially after everything that’s happened.” Dark said. 

You simply smiled in response as the two of you walked down the road to a nearby bar. You weren’t sure if he had said anything else to you, you were too consumed in your own thoughts. This seemed too easy, after everything that had happened. 

You were a district attorney. One that got shot at a party held by Mark himself. You didn’t blame William. Mark set everything up. A bitter man who fell victim to insanity. You had considered resenting Dark for what they did, but at the same time.. 

You knew deep down that this was a best scenario, as shitty as it was. You wouldn’t have survived. Of course Damien would pick his sister over you, even if you were close. You would’ve done the same. You did die, after all. Your time was up. 

Mark just couldn’t let you stay dead, could he? Pulling you into his games, forcing you to be his partner, his love interest. That was the thing. Dark had tried to reach you so many times, but you never remembered. Until now. What was different? Was the space adventure a finale of sorts? Was Mark’s grasp on you finally slipping? You didn’t know. 

“... Captain..”

“Captain.”

“Captain!”

You snapped back into reality, as Dark held you by the shoulders, attempting to ground you.

“Are you alright?” She asked, eyebrows knitted together.

“Yeah.. Yeah, I’m okay.” You sighed, “Just.. thinking.”

“Yeah? About what?” They raised an eyebrow. 

“He.. He really did take away everything from us. What’s the point of it all?” You asked.

He didn’t respond at first, hugging you tightly. 

“Making sure that bastard stays dead.”

[mayordamienisthesoftestbean]

Dark/Damien: *smashes a vase of flowers over Actor!Mark's head*

DA: *walks by*

Dark/Damien: *rushes to pick up the scattered flowers and chases after DA*