#dalley

[clickerflight]

Fallen: Part 9 - How Much is that Doggie in the Window

I was supposed to write this ages ago, but misread fallen as fleeting on my to do list so :p Also, I do adore the hallucinations in the way of 'they're hurting my guy :)' They're fun. I have plans for them.

Masterlist

Part 8

Content: Villain whumpee, hallucinations, miserable times, wet cat vibes, nonsexual nudity, discussion of past injuries, mentions of drugs and needle marks

..................................................................

It was raining now. Kolt was completely drenched, his thin shirt and sweatpants doing nothing to protect him from the elements. The nice woman who had been helping him had needed to go to work and gave him a little bit of money, which helped him get pretty close to where he needed to go, but not far enough, 

He shuffled through the rain, the lights shimmering before his blurry eyes as he went, arms wrapped around himself as he sniffled and allowed himself to look less and less like the man he had been before. 

Ah, look at him. Like a soaked puppy dog, Gambler said with relish in his voice. 

“Shut up,” Kolt said softly, pushing past the dark hallucination. He swore he could feel the rain slicked poncho the man was wearing under his scarred palm. 

Ooh, we’re brave today, aren’t we, Watcher said, which sent chills down Kolt’s spine, unrelated to the weather. Watcher didn’t speak often, but when he did, it was usually a portent of something terrible coming his way. He hoped this time wasn’t one of those occasions. 

We should do something about that, Beater said, stepping out of an alley. In the past, Kolt would have just ignored them. Rationalized that they were just hallucinations. But they weren’t just hallucinations any more. They could affect him now. Force him to do things he didn’t want to do. They could hurt him or stop his progress, so he treated them like cautious enemies. 

He moved carefully, not allowing them to corner him or surround him. 

So fast when you’re let out of your cage, hmm? Beater said, jogging to catch up, trying to get ahead of Kolt, but Kolt turned down another street. 

Never let them know your next move, Watcher whispered in that two toned voice. It made Kolt want to throw up. 

Where are you going, puppy? Shouldn’t you be in a window? How is anyone supposed to want to buy you if you getting all muddy and bruised in the streets? Gambler asked, and before Kolt could get out of the way he felt something trip him, sending him sprawling. 

They had to be real. There was no way a hallucination would be so real, right?

Kolt shook his head, pushing himself out of the mud. He couldn’t think about it right now. It would only slow him down. 

Persistent, Beater commented, impressed. Looks like they didn’t take all of the fight out of you. But we knew that. You are so so good at hiding what is actually going on in that big brain of yours. 

You were such a good dog for Dr. LeAnne for so long. It is amazing you’re able to remember anything after that, Gambler added and all three of the hallucinations laughed. 

Kolt tried to drown them out, his heart beating faster when he saw the familiar door ahead. 

“Please,” he couldn’t help but whisper to himself. “Please still be here.”

The hallucinations, still laughing, hung back as he approached the door. He knocked, the sound weak under the sound of the rain. He waited, arms wrapped around himself again, water dripping out of his long hair and into his face as he waited. 

Someone moved inside and the door opened. Dr. Dalley Hitchcock still looked the same, round of face and chest, friendly looking besides a dark look behind his eyes, and sturdy. 

“Dalley,” Kolt breathed, emotions swelling up in his chest. Shame from being seen like this, gratitude and relief and hope, fear that he would be turned away because Dalley’s alliances had changed; everything. Kolt opened his mouth to explain, to be rational and ask for help politely, to apologize for the intrusion, but his eyes blurred further, obscuring Dalley’s features and a sob ripped out of his throat in such a manner that Kolt covered his mouth like he could take that and the rushing tears back. 

“Kolt? Is that you? We thought you were dead,” Dalley said, reaching out and taking Kolt by the elbows to guide him inside, closing the door and blocking out those three clear shapes Kolt could always see even as he cried. 

Kolt was sat in a chair, elbows propped on his knees as he tried to regain his composure. 

“Where have you been?” Dalley asked, rummaging around and grabbing things. “Not even the Dragon Gang could figure out where you’d gone.”

Kolt shook his head in his hands. No one could find him except Gale. And Gale was who knows where. 

“Kolt?”

Kolt wiped his face hard, sniffling and lifted his head. “I was in a lab somewhere,” he said with a grimace. “Look, I don’t really feel good, Dalley. Can this wait until-”

“No, of course. I apologize. That was insensitive of me. You wait there for a moment while I get some things ready in the bathroom and we’ll get you taken care of,” Dalley said, shuffling off. 

Kolt was left among the piles of supplies and books, all at once chaotic and organized. Just like the last time he’d been here. He was grateful that Dalley was a creature of habit. Kolt would have been left wandering the streets looking for an ally for quite a while if Dalley had moved. 

Dalley came back quickly and leaned down, taking Kolt by the elbows again to help him up. Kolt usually would have protested, but he did not think there was much left of his ego to rescue at the moment, muddy and bruised and scarred as he was. 

Soon, he was sat in a chair in the bathtub, Dalley with rolled up sleeves and pant legs standing in the tub with him. 

“Alright. Are you attached to these clothes? I’m thinking it would be easiest to just cut them off if you don’t mind.”

Kolt shook his head and Dalley got to work. 

Kolt was naked in the chair as Dalley turned on the faucet, moving the shower head to where Kolt could touch it. 

“That temperature alright for you?”

Kolt reached out and nodded. A warm shower. When was the last time he had one?

Dalley cleaned Kolt off quickly and efficiently, enough so that it was clear this was how he regularly treated the clients that came through his door. 

As soon as Kolt was clean, Dally had him dry off and then stand up for a proper assessment. 

Kolt wanted quietly as Dally tallied up his scars and old wounds, taking in the way he stood and the bruises around his elbows. 

“Do you know what meds they had you on?” Dalley asked, prodding gently at the needle marks.

Kolt shook his head as Dalley moved his fingers and wrists, assessing any damage or loss of movement. “Something that made me weak and sick…. And it made my eyesight worse.”

Dalley clicked his tongue, looking up at Kolt’s face. “Here, sit down. I’ll check that for you.”

Kolt did, turning his head and letting Dalley push and pull at his face as he examined him. 

“Do you still have your powers?”

“Yes,” Kolt said, flexing the hand he’d used to kill Kate. 

“Alright, tell me when my finger becomes clear.”

Kolt did so and Dalley hummed, taking out a pen light to peer into Kolt’s eye. 

“Did they want you for your power?”

Kolt had to fight very hard to keep from closing his eyes at the reminder. “Yes. They wanted to turn me into a weapon. They didn’t succeed.”

Dalley laughed. “I should hope not. Alright. Looks like you’ll need some physical therapy for a couple of your joints, your muscles are atrophied, your spine looks a little bit messed up but that shouldn’t be a problem. The new healer Phoenix has working for him is incredible. Some of these scars might need a bit of surgery to loosen up and give you more movement back, you’re definitely going to need some surgery for this one-” Dalley tapped Kolt’s lip where the scar pulled everything so tight he knew teeth were always showing on that corner of his mouth- “Or else your teeth might dry up and fall out eventually. We’ll need full dental work up of course. Your eyes are a bit of a concern and I think we should consult someone about your powers just in case anything is wrong. Have you been experiencing any psychological effects from everything that happened?”

Should he lie? You should always tell your doctor the truth, but this…. This was different. Kolt wanted to wait it out and see if a few good nights of sleep and safety would help sort him out. 

“A little dizziness and some strange ocular illusions, but I do not know if that is because of my brain or my eyes,” Kolt said. There, good enough for now. He’d explain more if it became necessary. 

“Okay. We’ll just keep monitoring you. Now I-”

“When was the last time you saw Gale?”

“What?”

“Gale. When did you see him last?”

Dalley leaned back, thinking for a moment. “A few months ago, I think. He said he was going undercover. Looking for you, actually. We thought it a bit of a waste of time, but things were quiet back then, so we weren’t going to keep him from doing so. Did he help you out?”

“I think so. I vaguely remember him, and I have suspicions that the scientists who had me have him.”

Dalley narrowed his eyes at Kolt. “I will tell the Phoenix and we can see what we can do, but-”

“No. I’m going to-”

“Absolutely not! You have a long recovery ahead of you,” Dalley said sharply in a tone that reminded Kolt exactly why he respected the doctor. 

Dallley blew out a breath and said, “You are going to dry up and get dressed, eat something and go to bed. Understand me?”

“Yes, sir,” Kolt said. There wasn’t much he could do now, after all. He was just too tired. A bed sounded heavenly right about now. 

Dalley nodded, putting a hand on Kolt’s shoulder and leaning in a little so Kolt could see his expression clearly. “I am glad to see you alive. We searched for you for as long as we could. Gale never gave up, and he won’t give up under whatever treatment those lunatics put him through.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Kolt sighed, shaking his head. “I’m just so glad you’re still here.”

Dalley laughed. “Well, you know me. I am loathe to leave my little crevices.”

Kolt hummed, amused as he slowly got up, ignoring the way his hip and spine clicked as he did so. 

So, Kolt followed Dalley’s advice, giving Dalley a pee sample before going to bed so he could send it off alongside some of Kolt’s hair to be tested for what he’d been drugged with. 

Kolt, now clothed in warm pajamas and properly clean after one more shower, climbed into bed, curling up under the blankets. 

His mind felt heavy, and despite his desire to think and to try and make plans, he couldn’t keep his eyes from drifting closed, sleep overcoming his muddled, exhausted brain. 

Part 10

Fallen taglist: @looptheloup @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @snakebites-and-ink @starsick1979

[bebemoon]

look for the name MEG (requested by @princessdiary) | antique white cotton lace combination lingerie (c. 19oo), victorian-era dark brown lace-up boots (c. early 19oo's), vintage white wicker picnic basket, lazell dalley & co. "field violets" eau de parfum (released 19o8), lace parasol (c. 19oo's)

[vinyl-artwork]

Graham Dalley Dozen - Sounds International (1973)

[dance-world]

Richard Villaverde and Laurel Dalley Smith - Martha Graham Dance - photo by NYC Dance Project

[dippyface]

kaedi's voice is insane I'm obsessed w her. a female bass 💖💞💖💞💖👍

[catos-wound]

GILGAMESH 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[thinkingaboutggs]

citizen queen - so special music video

[biglisbonnews]

How to keep ESG moving ahead in the face of political madness Imagine a money manager trying to sell you on their ability to invest your retirement savings. After a long pitch, you say, “ When you invest in a company, do you see first if it has a history of environmental damage? Do you check to see if the company uses child labor? A history of corruption?” The money manager…Read more... https://qz.com/esg-politics-kerry-kennedy-dalley-rfk-human-rights-1850050844

[clickerflight]

Fallen: Part 10 - Phoenix

YOOOO have you read the Dragon's den stuff? It's in my Crestlen list if you're interested (please don't mind any awkwardness or plot holes. You know how old writing is) Anyways, Phoenix and Lynx :3

Masterlist - Part 9

Content - Villain whumpee, hallucinations, a bit of internal angst

......................................

Wake up, Kolt. He’s coming. He’s coming. Wake up. 

Kolt shot upright in bed, ignoring his sore muscles and aching his head as he slammed his hands over his ears. “Get out of my head!” he said urgently, pleadingly. “Get out!”

Watcher only laughed, the two tones echoing at a nail scratching dissonance before fading away. 

Kolt sat like that for a very long moment, rocking a little, listening to the rush of his own blood and pulse. He slowly relaxed and pulled his hands away from his ears to hear knocking at his door. His heart still raced, but he told himself he was fine. It was just a hallucination, and even though Watcher was unsettling, he wasn’t the worst of the three. 

“Kmm, come in,” Kolt said, clearing his dry throat.

The door opened and Dalley poked his head in, eyes tracing the covers that had been thrown to the floor, the big sweater on Kolt’s boney shoulders slipping down and the sheets tangled in his legs. “Are you alright? I thought I heard shouting.”

Kolt sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “Sorry. It was… a dream. I’m fine.”

He wasn’t fine. He didn’t need anyone knowing about it yet, though. 

Dalley hummed, looking Kolt over one more time. “Would you like some food?”

Kolt didn’t really feel like eating. He had enjoyed the food he’d had for dinner, but there wasn’t as much fun in eating as there used to be. He could only see it all as nutrients. Something to keep him going, something he needed to eat to regain his body mass and to keep from feeling so weak all the time. So, he wasn’t really hungry, but he replied positively anyways. 

Dalley had breakfast ready on the table as Kolt came out of the bathroom. He still felt so shaky. Like he was liable to fall at any moment, and it didn’t help that he couldn’t really see well enough to avoid the warps and wrinkles in the beautiful old rugs and carpets Dalley had around the place. 

Kolt was halfway through the meal when he noticed something was wrong. 

“Dalley?” he asked hesitantly. 

“Mm?” Dalley asked, looking up. 

Kolt leaned forward to see his expression better. The doctor seemed worried, almost. Distracted, certainly. “Is something wrong? You didn’t get my test results back already, did you?”

“Oh, no, no nothing’s wrong, Kolt,” Dalley said quickly. “I’m just thinking is all.”

“I know you, Dalley. I know it has been a while, but if you haven’t moved out of your hole, then you have not changed all that much,” Kolt replied. “You’re only this quiet when you’re worried about something.”

Dalley looked at the door. Kolt only just barely caught the slight movement of his chin as he couldn’t really see which way Dalley was looking as the colors all blended together. 

“Someone’s coming.”

Dalley hissed a little, lifting his cup of tea to try and hide behind it a little bit. “How do you do that?”

“Dalley, who is coming?”

The doctor sighed softly. There was a long moment before he said, “I didn’t want to tell anyone you were here, but Phoenix must have known something.”

“Phoenix is coming? Here?”

“Yes. I couldn’t hide you being here from him.”

Kolt… wanted to hide. He was surprised at himself. He really truly wanted to hide. Not because he thought Phoenix would hurt him or laugh at him, but because he didn’t want the pity, the sympathy, that would come with the visit. He didn’t want platitudes, he didn’t want condolences or reassurance. He wanted to pretend like none of this happened and move on. He wanted to heal, to forget about the box and the jar and leave the hallucinations far in the past. 

He wasn’t going to have that luxury though. Not with the way it was written on his face. Not when the scars showed so plainly that something terrible had happened to him and there was nothing he could do to erase it. 

“Do you have any clothing I could borrow? Something more proper for a visit with him?” Kolt asked, pushing those thoughts aside. Maybe he would have time to brush his hair, maybe even get a proper trim. 

“That’s the smallest item of clothing I have,” Dalley said regretfully. “I might be able to find smaller sweatpants?”

Kolt looked down at the clothing he had been wearing, rumpled with sleep and drowning him in their folds. The pants held on only because they had drawstrings Kolt could pull tight and tie. 

“Maybe there is time to buy some clothing?” Kolt said, the words falling flat even as they came out. 

Dalley opened his mouth to answer, but they were both cut off as the door opened. 

Kolt stiffened, looking up at the shadowy figure. The man was too far away to see, but that didn’t matter. Kolt wouldn’t have been able to make out his features even if he had the vision of a hawk. Phoenix was said to be descended from a family of true shapeshifters, a power lost long ago, but Kolt wasn’t too certain if he believed it. Everything about Phoenix was purposefully misleading and confusing. Well, almost everything. His good mood was always true. 

Kolt was surprised to see more movement behind Phoenix as another figure followed him. The posture was something protective, ready to fight at a moment’s notice. Phoenix didn’t need or want bodyguards. Who was this?

Still, Kolt stood up, facing his ally on semi stable feet. 

“Phoenix. It’s been a long time,” Kolt said, adding a deeper tone to his voice, trying to mimic…. His old self? When did he stop being Kolt? When did he become this pitiful creature? He had worked so hard not to break! Where did these cracks come from? Who…

“Kolt! It is good to see you again, even under the circumstances,” Phoenix said, crossing the room eagerly. His voice was the same as ever, thankfully. 

Kolt was about to speak, to say something friendly in return and laugh this whole thing off, but it was all choked down as Phoenix threw his arms around Kolt, hugging him tight. 

Kolt barely breathed, the hug scaring him more than he could reason. Maybe it was because it felt like a key to unlock every bit of fear and grief he had been steadily trapping and rationalizing before locking it away for as long as he could. 

“I was so worried about you,” Phoenix whispered against Kolt’s ear. “You’re one of my favorite allies, kay? Maybe even a friend you don’t mind the term so much anymore.”

Kolt had forgotten how open Phoenix was. He had forgotten how caring and loving he had been. He’d forgotten this kindness. 

“I don’t,” he found himself saying, carefully wrapping his arms around Phoenix in return. How stupid of him to turn this affection away back in the day. He was worried about being double crossed, perhaps, but Phoenix wasn’t that kind of man. 

Phoenix pulled away, but not too far. His searching eyes came into focus. They were a warm brown color this time. So unlike the pale blue they often were in the past, before this all happened to Kolt. 

“I’ll pay for your surgeries. You’ll be under my care until you’re back on your feet,” Phoenix promised. “You should rest, of course, but I have dearly missed your intellect, my friend. If I had a dollar for every time I had wished you were there to bounce ideas off of, I would be twice as rich as I am today.”

“Kmm, business is going well then?” Kolt asked, a little weakly. 

“It has. We had a hiccup with some companies trying to make some legal version of supersoldiers, but we’ve been dealing with it quite handily. Oh, which reminds me.”

He turned and beckoned to the other figure, who prowled forward. Not in a threatening way. That seemed to just be the way he moved. 

“This is my new partner, Lynx,” Phoenix said. “He was one of those ‘legal supersoldiers’ I mentioned.”

Lynx nodded to Kolt, still not close enough to see clearly. “Phoenix has told me about you,” Lynx said. “It’s good to finally meet you.”

Kolt nodded in return as Phoenix said, “You should sit down, Kolt. You’ve had a hard run of it.”

Kolt could feel an old version of himself trying to say he was strong enough to stand, but this Kolt was tired. He knew now that it was idiotic to deny yourself rest when you needed it. A lesson hard learned in those cages.

So, he sat down and Phoenix and Lynx joined him at the table. 

“Hey, Dalley,” Phoenix said, elbowing the doctor. “Good to see you. Sorry for barging in like this.”

“It’s alright, sir. Can I get you anything?”

“Lynx and I have already eaten. Thanks. Unless you want anything, Lynx.”

Lynx opened his mouth automatically to respond but he hesitated, thinking. “You know what, yeah I’ll take something. Those scones look good.”

“Feel free. I have more jams to choose from in the fridge if you would like. Coffee? Tea?”

“Coffee would be wonderful, yes. Thank you.”

Kolt allowed himself to relax, despite one of the most powerful men in the city sitting at the table with him, despite his underdressed state, despite everything. Why had he ever shied away from Phoenix’s offers of friendship before?  

“Now we just need to sort out who to get involved in your care, Kolt, and find Gale and we’ll be set. He’s still out there looking for you, you know. He went deep undercover and-”

“He’s the one that helped me get out. They have him.”

Silence fell over the small group of four. “He… I thought you escaped on your own? I saw the footage.”

“I wasn’t trapped at that building originally. He was caught trying to free me from…. The lab? I don’t know where I was. I-”

Kolt yelped, leaping out of his chair and backing up against the wall. 

Beater, clear and grinning was coming in through the closed window, coming around the table and approaching Kolt quickly. 

Kolt cleared his throat, trying to calm himself down. It was just a hallucination. 

“I thought I saw a spider, sorry,” Kolt said, stepping deftly around Beater as he threw a punch, vanishing as his fist hit the wall with a low chuckle. “I must still be jumpy. Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Phoenix said, though concern colored his words. “Come sit down and have some tea. Now, tell me everything you remember about that place and we’ll see about finding Gale.”

Kolt nodded, sitting back down and glancing over his shoulder, his heart still hammering in his chest. It was fine. He was fine. Focus. Calm. Rational. It was all fine. 

So, he focused and recounted details from his time in captivity, including all of the names he remembered hearing, ignoring the way Gambler tapped impatiently at the door. 

Part 11

Fallen taglist: @looptheloup @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @snakebites-and-ink @starsick1979

[lia-cq]

[a-gnosis]

3: Gilgamesh and Enkidu

[It means] a strong partner shall come to you, one who can save the life of a friend. He will be the most powerful in strength of arms in the land. His strength will be as great as that of a sky-bolt of Anu. You will love him as a wife, you will dote upon him. [And he will always] keep you safe.

The Epic of Gilgamesh, standard version, tablet I, translated by Stephanie Dalley.

[dance-world]

Richard Villaverde and Laurel Dalley Smith - Martha Graham Dance - photo by NYC Dance Project

[mutant-distraction]

“We are living on this planet as if we had another one to go to.”

~Terri Swearing

ecowarriorprincess.net

https://charterforcompassion.org

Photo credit: Doreen Dalley

Source: Beauty of Canada

[thesarosperiod]

sleep-deprived brainstorm notes (click to expand) on gilgamesh and enkidu from when i was trying to pick a topic for my summer research. wrote these at approximately three am. still can't tell if i was onto something but here you go either way

(quote is trans. stephanie dalley, the article on patroclus is here)