#daeun moodboard | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kookluvre · 2 years ago

Text

gold is dull. || jjk || 01

your once-love abandoned you to chase his dreams as a boxer, leaving you and unknowingly, at the time, his son. as much as you want to forget him, you can't. you see him on the billboard, tv commercials, and in your son's room, reminding you of everything you once were.

“momma! please take me to golden boy's fight! he’s fighting here! in our hometown. please, momma. for my birthday? i wanna see him in person!”

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

genre: boxer!jk, dilf!jk, single mom! oc, heavy angst, ex-boyfriend, eventual smut, fluff

warnings: financial struggles, mentions of off-screen death, angst, mentions of blood, mentions of fighting, mentions of pregnancy, nervousness, anxiety, hints to depression

chapter wc: 4.2k

A/N: hiiii!!! <333 this is the first ever bts series that i've ever written. pls show love and support. also give me suggestions on how to improve in my ask! thank you and enjoy the ride... also make sure to check out the masterlist! i'll be making moodboards (teasers for chapters), outfits, and you can find the playlist there❣

☆series masterlist☆

You quietly enter your apartment exhausted from the night shift in the restaurant. You always hated the midnight shift because it consisted of drunk and annoying customers that always forgot to tip you. You didn’t really like your job but you knew it made a living for you and Min-Su, your son, so you didn’t have much other of a choice other than to stay there.

You tip-toe into your apartment to make sure not to wake up Min-Su and your sister, Daeun, from the sleeping position on the couch. Every time you worked late, you begged Min-Su to sleep in his room and not the couch, but he was too stubborn and always wanted to wait for you when you came back from work, although he never made it and always ended up falling asleep at ten. You stand over them and sweetly smile when you see their sleeping faces. You were always so grateful for Daeun. Your sister helped you through your pregnancy, taking care of Min-Su when you had to take on multiple part-time jobs, and even helped you pay this apartment so you could comfortably live with your son. You were previously staying in the guest room with her and her husband’s house, but Min-Su was getting older, so you needed a place for you and him. Daeun and Seokjin were always there to support you. Seokjin was so understandable when it came to Daeun helping you out as he saw everything go down in shambles when the father of your kid abandoned you five years ago. Seokjin sometimes even takes Min-su for a “boys day out.” Seokjin serves as a father figure to Min-Su, teaching him “boy stuff” as they like to call it.

“Hey baby,” you whisper to Min-Su as you get ready to lift him off the couch onto his bed.

“Momma, you’re back.” Min-Su quietly says with a half-asleep smile that soon fades away when he returns back to his profound sleep. You lay him on his bed and place a kiss to his forehead, “Goodnight baby, it’s still early.”

“How was work?” Daeun asks as she heads to the restroom.

“You know, same as always. Drunks who forget to tip. I swear this is the last time I take a midnight shift for someone. Thinking it’ll get me more money, it just gets me exhaustion.” You run your hands over your almost closing eyes.

“Yeah babes, you have enough money saved already anyway. Why don’t you take a break from so much work?”

You let out a chuckle. “Yeah but that money is for safety. That’s for Min-Su when he goes off to college or for his first car, or for, I don’t know, an emergency or something. I need the extra money for groceries, gas, toys, clothes.” You laugh.

“Don’t worry too much _______. You have me and Seokjin to help you with anything.” Daeun assures you. They both have already helped you a lot, so you feel a bit embarrassed asking for anything more.

“You both have helped me so much already. I don’t think there’s anything left to ask! Thank you, really.” You softly smile. You know that Daeun and Seokjin would never say no if you needed help with anything, but you are not the type of person who takes advantage of someone’s kindness, less their money. You have always been one to work for what you have and only ask for help only when you truly need it. The times you asked for help were because you were in so much financial trouble, balancing college tuition, doctor appointments, and trying to find a place to live. You are grateful those struggling times are over, but you still find yourself longing for more financial security in order to keep your son comfortable and happy.

“Okay, I’m going to go now. Jin’s crazy ass wants me to be next to him when he wakes up!”

“Okay, text me once you’re home. Love ya!”

It’s a Saturday and you had no work. You usually didn’t get the weekends off, except Sunday, since the restaurant closes that day, but you called in sick, taking a medical day off. You had to act your way out of work this morning. A cough, weak voice, and a congested voice, did their job. Your boss, Hoseok, would never let you take the day off simply because it was your son’s birthday. Fortunately, your boss was a germaphobe, so the sick excuse always worked and he never asked for more information. Hoseok is strange, you always thought. He is an asshole, but a soft asshole.

“How did my favorite boxer in the whole entire world sleep?” You enter Min-Su’s bedroom with red gloves, moving towards him as a boxer usually does on a ring. You innocently attack him with kisses, cuddles, and tickles.

Min-Su loved Korea’s “Golden Boy,” also known as Jungkook, and also known as his father that abandoned you, but you had to suck it up and pretend to love Jungkook, the boxer, for Min-Su’s sake. So, you planned for this year’s birthday celebration theme to be full of Jungkook and boxing, getting him a cake decorated that read “Golden Boy” in golden letters with drawn on red gloves. Min-Su liked to believe that he himself was a boxer just like the Golden Boy, although you knew that Min-Su’s gold is way more shinier, illuminated, and radiant than that of the so-called Golden Boy’s would ever be.

Sometimes you never did understand Min-Su’s fanatics over boxing. You’d think he’d be scared over the fighting antics of the sport, however, it really seemed like he enjoyed it. Being the good mother that you are though, you’d make sure to turn off the TV once the fight started to get too violent and too much blood was being shed. Additionally, you’d also get afraid to see how being a fan of boxing might affect Min-Su’s behavior. However, Min-Su was too much of a calm kid to ever want to start a fight. So, you wondered, what is it that truly attracts Min-Su to the sport. Perhaps, the person fighting. A connection. A father and son connection.

“Momma! You look so cool! I’m finally five!” Min-Su says in between chuckles, fully showcasing his bunny smile and the endearing scrunch in his nose that results from that smile. Every time he smiles and laughs, you are reminded of the good times between you and his father. The times when you saw that same smile full of teeth plastered on Jungkook’s once-loved face.

“Yes you are my beautiful Min-Su. Happy Birthday, my love. I love you so so so much!” You exclaim grabbing him into a tight coddling hug, resembling the way you’d carry him when he was just a baby.

“Mom! Why are you grabbing me so hard!” Min-Su chuckles as he himself doesn’t even try to attempt to get out of your motherly hug. He very much loves to be around his mother’s arms as well.

“Because you’re getting so oldddddd! I don’t want you to grow up any more, my little baby!” You cutely say as you scrunch your nose and meet his.

“Hugging me won’t stop me from getting old. I’m only five, momma!” You were always amazed at the intelligence your son carries. He’s so mature and even “above average” his teacher tells you. Guess he gets it from you.

You and your son head to the kitchen where you placed strawberries, blueberries, whipped cream, sprinkles to decorate the delicious holiday pancakes you prepare every Christmas Day. Your son was born on December 25th, the most magical day of the year. So, every year, Min-Su celebrates his official birthday with only family, and no friends due to them having other arrangements on Christmas Day. He understands that, however, you never fail to make him a party before or after his official birthday where he can have fun with his school friends. He’s a lucky kid, getting two birthday celebrations and all.

You get your instant polaroid camera and set the self-timer to take a photo of you two showcasing the pancakes you decorated. Min-Su went a little crazy with the whipped cream making it seem like a humongous snowy mountain with strawberries and blueberries climbing up. You went for a strawberry-eyed, blueberry nose, and whipped cream mouth goofy face. Min-Su wears a wide smiles with his bunny teeth and the red boxing gloves, “lift one arm up baby like you just won a fight,” you tell him. You write on the picture “12.25.21. HBD BABY <3,” and place the Polaroid on the back of your phone where it is visible on the clear phone case.

“Hello stranger! I missed you.” Your dad pulls you into a deep hug. One you both needed. You’ve been too busy with work and taking care of Min-Su that you haven’t visited your dad in months. Additionally, ever since your mom passed away, it feels strange going to your parent’s house and not seeing her there. You feel selfish since your dad probably has it harder than you as he’s living in their house without her. It hurts seeing your dad skinnier with darker circles and prominent eye bags that are a result from sleepless and crying nights missing your mom.

“Cmon Dad, I’ve called! But yeah, yeah I missed seeing you, too.” You chuckle, mumbling the last part of the sentence. You’ve never been one to be affectionate towards family. You love them and can’t live without them, and they know that, but your personality has always been that way ever since you were a teenager. Not a lack of character, just simply your personality.

“How’s my birthday boy doing? I got you some gifts.” Grandpa Sung-Ho grunts and picks up Min-Su on his arms, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Your dad always spoiled Min-Su on his birthday with loads of toys, even when he was one year old and didn’t know anything other than his favorite stuffed bunny.

This year, Daeun and Seokjin would be celebrating Christmas with your family, since they alternated every year between New Years and Christmas, and this year it was Christmas’ turn. You loved it when it was their turn to celebrate it with your part of the family because it meant that you would be graced by Seokjin’s cooking skills. Seokjin blessed the evening with his signature dish: bulgogi, japchae, and kimchi. You all refer to this dish as “his signature dish,” not because it’s unique, but because when Seokjin cooks it, it tastes like heaven. The night was followed by fruit cakes, baked sweet potatoes, and of course, ramen. In between foods, you all shared your favorite stories about Mom, as it was the first Christmas dinner without her. Seokjin and Min-Su put on a “boxing show,” where of course, Min-Su defeated Seokjin and became the national champion.

“Okay let’s open the gifts. This kid won’t be able to wait any longer.” You say lifting your hands up having no choice as Min-Su keeps on asking you every five minutes if he can open his gifts already. About 90% of the gifts under the tree belonged to Min-Su, so you understand why he was so excited. Also, the gifts looked huge, with the exception of a small golden envelope placed on one of the tree branches.

“Momma! Look! Grandpa got me a bike! Thank you. Thank you Grandpa Sung-Ho!” Min-Su runs to his grandpa and hugs him. His full on bunny smile on display throughout opening all his gifts. It pulls on your heart-strings. A part of you wishes you could see the other bunny smile you once loved be by Min-Su’s side, especially today. You quickly get out of that dangerous tramp as you know it’s a destructive one. Min-Su continues to open all his gifts ranging from boxing gloves, scooter, car toys, and board games.

“What is this?” Min-Su confusedly asks when he reads the words “Monopoly.” You chuckle and turn to Daeun, “Really? Monopoly for a five year old? Just because it’s your favorite game, doesn’t mean Min-Su will love it.” You laugh shaking your head. Daeun was a master in Monopoly ever since she was a kid. You know she wanted to make Min-Su a master as well, “They start young,” she winks at you. Classic Daeun.

“Hey baby, I think you forgot one.” You tell Min-Su

“Really?” Min-su excitedly crouches down, thinking he forgot a gift under the tree.

“No, silly. That. That, right there.” You point to the golden envelope on the tree. Daeun, Seokjin, and your dad look confused. You didn’t tell them about this gift. You wanted it to be a complete surprise. It was something that you had been contemplating to do over the year, unsure if you were strong enough to go through with this, but you knew you had to. This would make your son happy, and that was enough to convince you that this was the right choice.

“I’m going to see Golden Boy in person!” Min-Su jumps up and down holding the tickets dear to his chest.

You feel the confused stares towards you. Your family worries for you because they know the mess you were after Jungkook left you and the hurt he caused you after Min-Su was born. They are afraid that you will crumble down when you see him again. It’s not like you’ll see him, though. You bought the cheapest tickets you could afford, at the very top of the arena, all you’ll see is a small object moving. You won’t even be able to recognize his face. When Min-Su is too busy reading the information on the tickets, you nod to them and mouth “it’s okay.”

You’ve finally come to terms that it truly is okay. Jungkook, the person you once believed was the love of your life, has turned to the stranger of your life. He is only the boxer you see on TV and the person your son is a big fan of. You do wish you could erase the memories you had with him and only treat him as someone you had a one night stand, but you can’t. A part of you will always dislike him for what he did to you, but you have learned to burden those feelings away deeply in your heart because your family is perfect as it is right now. Your son truly doesn’t need that asshole of a father that hurt him and you.

You sit in the living room with Daeun while Seokjin and Grandpa Sung-Ho teach Min-Su how to ride the bike.

“So, you’re okay with going?” Daeun leans in so Min-Su won’t hear. You understand her weariness. You’d be too if you were your sister. You’re taking your kid to go see his father box, where he will be cheering him on as “Golden Boy” and not “Let’s go, Dad.” You sometimes wish you could tell your son that the Golden Boy was his dad, but he was not Golden Boy’s dad.

“Yes, it’s fine. It’s just a famous boxer to him.” You reply with a sigh. Getting tired over the weariness Daeun puts over you. “But he is not just “a famous boxer” to you _______.” You know she is correct, but you also know that’s all he needs to be to you, “He’s not, but he has to be,” You sip some red wine, “Don’t worry too much Daeun, we’re all the way at the top, I won’t even be able to see him. If I do collapse, as you think I’ll do, Dad will be there. He will pick me up.” You chuckle rolling your eyes.

The thought of seeing Jungkook next week frightens a small part of your heart. You have come to terms with the feelings that might arise seeing your son next to you and his hero fighting. On the other hand, though, there is a constant fright hovering around your ego. Sometimes you feel like a failure. Being a single mom and working as a waitress on a minimum age. It’s the systemic social stereotypes that have you feeling this way, however, you blame it all on yourself, the dropping out of college and not getting the business degree you so wanted because the pregnancy and classes were too difficult to balance. You’re scared of seeing the success Jungkook has built around himself. How he made everything he dreamed possible.

“I want to be famous, ______. Rich. National Champion. Have a dozen Lamborghinis. Have 10 houses. One on the beach. One in the city. One in the countryside. Buy you all the things you want. Build you that restaurant you want. But I don’t want all this if you’re not there, by my side _____.”

He truly did have all of that. Only one thing missing from the list, you… by his side. These thoughts, though, are quickly overshadowed by the little one that rests his head on your shoulder. All those materialistic things will never top the happiness Min-Su brings you every day.

You and Min-Su decided to stay overnight in your dad’s house. It was too late to drive all the way to the city, you had been drinking some wine, and Min-Su was too tired from playing around with all his new toys. You and Min-Su stayed in your childhood bedroom, where it is filled with memories of Jungkook sneaking in through the window and you sneaking out to meet Jungkook when you were grounded.

Thinking Min-Su is asleep, you check the drawers to see if you find any old photos of you and your family when Min-Su calls you, “Momma?”

“Yeah baby,” You walk towards him and sit beside his small body.

“Can you tell me about my dad.” He asks you with a shy smile. You and Min-Su had already discussed why his family was different and why there was no dad in his life. You simply told him that his type of family is happier if it only consists of him, you, Daeun, Seokjin, Grandpa Sung-Ho and your late mother. However, you knew, that your son would be curious as to who his dad was, so you knew you’d have to share stories about him. You promised yourself, though, you would never actually tell him who his dad was, but if Min-Su would like to find out when he’s older, you wouldn’t stop him from finding that out. But right now, Min-Su was just a curious five-year old wanting to know more.

“Well, your dad, he was very athl-,”

“Momma, don’t tell me he was athletic and strong and that he really liked ramyeon. Everybody likes ramyeon.” Min-Su states with a pout. That is true. Every time he asked you about him, you were sure to keep it to a generic statement. You hated revisiting old memories with him, but for your son, you had to.

“Okay well I can tell you about the time he was super scared riding a ferris wheel.” You whisper with a genuine smile on your face. Although these memories are with a person that hurt you, they truly are happy memories that bring genuine happiness to you. A nostalgic happiness.

“A ferris wheel?! Not even I’m scared of ferris wheels and I’m five years old!” Min-Su laughs. You like this. You like seeing him this happy. It bothers you, though, the person making him happy is someone that didn’t want anything to do with him.

“I know, but that’s because you’re my brave little Min-Su,” You snuggle up to him.

“We had previously gotten on all the scary roller coasters. And he was so so brave on them. Even put his hands up at the biggest drop. The biggest bunny smile he could have. Just like yours. I thought he was a maniac. He really liked those scary grown-up rides. I didn’t. Mom was kind of a scaredy-cat when it came to big rides.” You hear him chuckle.

“Anyway, after the roller-coasters, we ate some funnel cake, snow cones, and a baked sweet potato. Played some balloon darts and shooting games. Then, I suggested to go on the ferris wheel, and his face dropped. Like if he had seen a ghost. He begged me not to. ‘No _______, Please. They’re too slow. It’s boring.’” You don’t hear any commentary or chuckles from Min-Su. When you look down at him, he’s fallen asleep at the beat of your heart and the short-told story.

“Goodnight, baby. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas.” You kiss his forehead and lay down to him. You have trouble falling asleep as you begin to relive that cold yet warm Christmas Day.

“Cmon Jungkook. Why that scared-ass face when you think ‘it’s so boring?’” You tease him, your shoulder hitting his arm.

You had gotten in all the roller-coasters because he had proposed you too. You never really liked adrenaline rides because simply, they were really scary for you and you hated the feeling you get at the sudden drop. However, this time around, you were with Jungkook, and he made you feel safe. The feeling that you’d get with him was one of warmth and safety, that you and him were invincible. So, the rollercoaster didn’t seem too scary when you could hold onto Jungkook’s muscled arm the whole ride. You enjoyed the feeling he gave when you were with him. It felt like a drug, like you were high on Jungkook. This date was your first one. He was nineteen and you were eighteen; you were only a first-year in college. You had snuck out of the Christmas party in your house to go to the carnival with him. You’d never do that, but for him you would.

“Alright, let’s do it _______. After this, we’re going on the Zipper.”

“Okay, deal.” You smirk.

As you’re on the cart swaying around, Jungkook puts his arm around you, blocking the cold air hitting your face. You both admire the view of the city, while Come on Doom, Let’s Party plays in the background.

“It’s not too bad, huh.” You tease Jungkook as you can feel his heart beating through his puffer jacket.

“______, I’m not scared of the ride,” he turns to look at your eyes then down at your lips.

“I’m scared of… you know, being up here with you. Looking at you.”

Jungkook obviously was not scared of the ferris wheel. It was nothing compares to the Superman ride you previously went on. He was scared of being in such an intimate and romantic setting with you. Sitting next to you overlooking the city. He was a nervous and shy guy and it was clearly showing on this ride. The ferris wheel made you both finally lock in the tension that had been building for months prior to this date. The previous rollercoasters had him comfortable as he didn’t have to look at you. He could scream. Be focused on the adrenaline. But here, the ferris wheel, the only thing he could focus was having you by his side and looking at you eyes.

“I’ve never done dating before, you know. I don’t know how it works.” He nervously grabs the back of his ear. You don’t know how it works either. You’ve never dated anyone before. You were just as nervous as he was, but you did a better job at hiding it, and… you were kind of a natural at this dating thing.

You place his warm hands on your cheeks, “I’m pretty sure you place your hands on my cheeks, and then you lean in, and I don’t know, kiss me.” You smirk.

“Alright, I think I can manage.” Jungkook chuckles as he leans in to put his cold lips on yours. His lips grabbed your lower lip. A soft, yet powerful, grab that left you breathless. You felt the warmth of his breathing above your lip and he could feel your heart skip a beat as his hand rested on your neck. You wondered what his lips tasted for months, and now you had them pressed against yours. They were a feel of passion and softness that only he could give you. He pulled his lips away, keeping his hands on your face, your lips weak, longing for more. Your closed eyes opened, looking at him. There was a slight smile on his and your lips. He moves his hand from your jaw to your mouth, rubbing his thumb against your lower lip.

“What do I do now?” He says with a shy smirk.

“Hmmmm, I think you ask me if I want to be your girlfriend.” You look up as if thinking for an answer.

“Right. Right. Right,” He says rubbing his face, acting like he forgot a crucial part of a relationship, “Do you want to be my girlfriend, ______?”

“Yes, Jeon Jungkook.” You give him a small peck on his jaw.

For the rest of the ride, you and Jungkook held hands, feeling the warmth of each other’s skin.

☆ yayyyyyy!!! how did you like it? this chapter was a little slow because we have to set the mood for the rest 😍 but i promise you it will get so good, angsty, and hot. remember leave me your thoughts here ✉ !!!

657 notes · View notes