fmdsilverarchive - Tumblr blog

[fmdsilverarchive]

#yes because being evil and out of control totally consists of eating junk food

[fmdsilverarchive]

191116 Solar @ 2019 V Heartbeat V LIVE Awards © Laurel | do not crop the logo.

[fmdsilverarchive]

Solar 191215 0 FESTA

[fmdsilverarchive]

191207 Solar @ DMZ Peacelum Concert © ssovely | do not edit or crop the logo.

[fmdsilverarchive]

fmdxblue:

     he has always feared becoming like his father. a man of sorrow with an agenda to transfer the pain to a wife and child. to transfer his failures to his family in order to feel less at blame and fault. a man who blamed his wife and child for his mistakes — his sour taste of a character. a man returning from work with disheveled appearance;  the smell of soju obvious; red cheeks not of romance, but of the rage of his life being transparent. his occupation his only concern with intentions to abuse a wife and child after hours of drinking alongside other men with a patriarchal outlook. when at home, he spoke of profanity with beer in hand. there was a monster within him that only minwoo and his mother saw. everyone else was oblivious. 

     blue feared that he was becoming exactly like his father. the consecutive nights of drinking has proven that much. his body has fallen numb and tired from the countless nights of alcohol, and he has retired with torment, for he just burdened another person with his troubles. his cowardliness led him to hurt another person, and now he was to be in pain with realization that he has, indeed, become his father. 

     he was drunk. with noah by his side yet again, the two were completely out of it to find a way back home. laughter, lewd jokes, to acts that if captured in film would have them in trouble. all added to how screwed the two were. luckily, the two knew a number to call and could save them. daeun. she did not take long to arrive, and before blue knew it, he was thrown on the couch in noah’s accommodation. how many times will he find himself in this situation before piecing his life back together? 

     his eyes were closed, body lazy when he felt daeun take a seat adjacent, the side of the couch sinking in furthermore. accepting the tea she prepared, he responded with a small smile thankful that someone was looking after him even if she did not have to. he takes a sip before waving his hand, no need for food, for he was not hungry. tea would do. however, her next choice of words had him settle focus on her; eyes soft — those words alone sobering him up a bit. “what is there to talk about?” back pressed against the couch, he narrowed his eyes on the female. “i’m drunk, daeun. nothing has to be wrong for me to be drunk.” blue forced a chuckle before taking another sip of the tea. “noah and i were just having too much fun.”

     had she been okay to ask that? was she pushing a boundary he didn’t want her to cross? the last thing daeun wanted was to upset anyone, but he didn’t necessarily seem mad. people tended to open up to her easily. maybe it was because she was always smiles and soft edges, kind words and laughter like bells. everything about her screamed safe and trustworthy, and that part of her was true. there were few people she didn’t like, if any. no one she thought poorly enough off to deceive or sell out.

she sipped her tea slowly, not making a sound as her eyes stayed focused on minwoo. “i know. you can be drunk just to be drunk. i’m happy you two had fun. he needs more fun in his life.” that was true. there were plenty of nights daeun had gone out or stayed in with the other girls in gal.actic, or other friends she had met through the industry. on her birthday she had gotten a little drunk, and would have been drunker if noah hadn’t dragged her off the dance floor and back to his place. this place. but more times than not, when she got really shit-faced, there was something happening deep down that she didn’t want to deal with. she found that to be a common theme with most people.

“it’s just...” she couldn’t stop herself. she couldn’t let this go, not just yet. what if he needed to talk, he just didn’t know it? she had never been pushy, but recently she had become more comfortable being bold. and if he reacted negatively to this, if he didn’t want to open up, she wouldn’t force it. she’d let him enjoy his tea and silence and continue to take care of him just as she would have before. “your aura seems kind of... heavy.” it sounded silly and fantastic, but it was the best way to describe it. there was just something in his eyes that screamed distress and she only wanted to help.

[fmdsilverarchive]

crown connections aesthetics ; noah & daeun. 

 “she guessed my favourite colour first try… but between me and you i didn’t even have a favourite colour until she yelled out yellow!! she was hella excited ‘n smiling like a kid. so i told her she was right, and i haven’t seen yellow the same since, it’s in everything. i could probably live in it now.”

for: @fmdsilver! 

[fmdsilverarchive]

fmdholly:

[ ✉ → daeun 🌻] didn’t see him around much during rehearsals actually–he was pretty much a ghost. here one second, gone the next. [ ✉ → daeun 🌻] but he looked a right mess [ ✉ → daeun 🌻] lover’s spat? trouble in paradise? 

[ ten minutes later. ]

[ ✉ → daeun 🌻] what’d he do this time…

[ ✉ → holly unnie 🌿] well i called him and i thought that was nice [ ✉ → holly unnie 🌿] but then he accused me of calling him while i was sleeping with someone else? and got mad? [ ✉ → holly unnie 🌿] but that’s silly because why would i call him if i was sleeping with someone else.

[fmdsilverarchive]

❤

send me ❤ and I will bold all that applies to your muse - accepting!

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. (only in the sense that he thinks he’d be a better person if he was more like her) • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. (uhhhh well…. when ash is in his angst hours) • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[fmdsilverarchive]

❤️

SEND ME ❤ AND I WILL BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE ;; CURRENTLY ACCEPTING .

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[fmdsilverarchive]

❤

SEND ME ❤ AND I WILL BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE ;; CURRENTLY ACCEPTING .

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[fmdsilverarchive]

❤

SEND ME ❤ AND I WILL BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE ;; CURRENTLY ACCEPTING .

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[fmdsilverarchive]

❤

SEND ME ❤ AND I WILL BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE ;; CURRENTLYACCEPTING .

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[fmdsilverarchive]

❤

SEND ME ❤ AND I WILL BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE ;; CURRENTLY ACCEPTING .

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[fmdsilverarchive]

❤

SEND ME ❤ AND I WILL BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE ;; CURRENTLY ACCEPTING .

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[fmdsilverarchive]

❤

SEND ME ❤ AND I WILL BOLD ALL THAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE ;; CURRENTLY ACCEPTING .

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me. 

[fmdsilverarchive]

send me ❤ and I will bold all that applies to your muse

sphinxmemesmusings:

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you life family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

[fmdsilverarchive]

grumpy was not a word used to describe daeun on any given day. but those closest to her were able to recognize that these days, that’s exactly what she was. she should be happy. her new drama was being released soon, which would mean press tours with duri. gal.actic even had a new single. but she just wasn’t happy. and rather than internalizing it like she always did, it was etched plain on her face.

“do we haaaave to do joker? can’t we just do vibrato? the fans will probably like that better anyways.” she knew her complaint fell on deaf ears. most were surprised to hear that daeun wasn’t a fan of their newest comeback (she tended to be happy with whatever they were given). but this wasn’t the first time her members had heard her complain about ‘joker’. she in front of the full length mirror in their dressing room, tugging at the hem of the too-short dress they were wearing for the concert. “and couldn’t they have put us in the outfits from ‘sting’ instead?”

‘stop being a brat, daeun,’ she heard one of her members call out, instantly shutting her up. it wasn’t their fault she was in a bad mood, and she knew she shouldn’t be taking it out on then. they were all happy to have a comeback. but after a taste of doing music she actually enjoyed, she was finding it difficult to be content with what dimensions was giving them.

a knock on the door only briefly caught her attention, but the voice that quickly joined pulled her away from the mirror. a voice she hadn’t heard for over a month now. the uneasy feeling that seemed to be a permanent residence in the pit of her stomach grew more prominent. all eyes were on her, but she was only focused on the door. her eyes met haeyeon’s briefly before she opened the door and slipped into the hallway.

“hi.” her arms were crossed in front of her chest, partially to cover up her ridiculous outfit, more-so to keep some kind of barrier between her and noah.

setting: jeju island, backstage @ concert venue — may 24, 2018 ; 15:26pm. for: @fmdsilver

mistakes followed noah from america to korea. they shadowed him, gaining size at night where demons were persistent, where voices were stronger, louder, chanting. (“you ruined it. you ruin everything.”) shrill, nefarious and all-consuming.

he couldn’t sleep.

the demons were having a feast, devouring his heartache with gluttony. it was apparent on his face, drained of colour — drained of life. food was tasteless on his tongue then bubbled in his stomach as he was being put together. he ignored the complaints of his stylists about the tangles in his hair and cuts on his jaw from finally shaving. (“this is your job, quit bitchin’,” he snapped when it was too much.)

everyone was too much.

in them, noah saw his fault. it leered in eyes of coal surrounding him. he could practically hear their thoughts — hear their persecutions and laughter. his knee thumped, legs desperate on fleeing before his brain could even process it. but he wasn’t thinking, he was relying on his heart. and that always got him in deep shit.

always.

noah jumped from the chair, nearly toppling it over when he was a variation of finished. (“yah, i’m not done with your makeup.”) he didn’t linger to soak in the rest, slamming the door behind him and effectively cut off being cursed at. nothing he wasn’t used to. he sweared plenty to himself night after night when he considered giving daeun a call.

what if she wouldn’t answer. she never did because he never contacted her even once to mumble an i’m sorry for being a headass.

hands dug in pockets, he drifted like a wisp of a person through narrow corridors of white. staff paid him no mind, and he ignored the idols who did bow to him. he wasn’t there to make friends or fans; he was there because he had no choice. somehow, the predicament worked out.

to his benefit, that remained to be seen.

with holly’s voice in mind, less harsh and more subdued, noah’s footsteps trickled to a stop in front of a door. he raised his knuckles, scratching the tattoo of a bird in flight on his neck as he waited for a response to his knocks. time was eternity as voices emerged then the shuffle of chairs and feet on the ground.

breath held, face numb, and his voice resonated in a rough grunt too quiet to be impolite but too hoarse to be respectful. “can i speak to daeun, please.” apologize to daeun, please.