#dad still talks about it to this day lol
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she would've told them unlike her canon! version who decided not to be an ally smh
#one piece#trans!sanji#sanji#kiku#yamato#ワンピース#I'm practicing my japanese shhhhhh#(日本語のペラペラ人:俺は文法とか書く方とか間違ったら教えてください😅ありがとうございます)#translation:#Yamato: I'll be able to get as strong as Oden?#Sanji: Probably... 🤔#[meanwhile Kiku is remembering the time in the hot spring]#(Sanji: Nami-chan!!!)#(Nami: Shut up!! The women's bath is supposed to be a peaceful place!)#Kiku: I am also ⚧️ ... o.o#(y'all english speakers had me all to yourselves for a decade it's about time I start to also sometimes make stuff in my next language lol#notably for media *from* that language#same as it made sense to make fan content in english for [american superhero franchise we don't talk abt anymore] back in the day#(happy seasonal reminder that Ren Is Not A Native English Speaker and This Is My 5th Language hi 😅))#while looking up reference for this I learnt that the straps to tie back the kimono sleeves are called tasuki#also I decided yamato get big muscles cause he got them kaido genes in im (I also gave him his dad's young-man-facial hair)#the more I do transition projections for one piece characters while tryna adhere to the style the more I learn that sometimes stylisation#uses bones less as literal determinants for where things go and just kinda exaggerates shapes based on vibes alone instead#meaning trans characters' bones wouldn't literally stay looking the same in that stylisation in the way they do irl#they'd get exaggerated differently based on what the surrounding stuff is doing#I still think oda's transition demonstration when we first met iva was unreasonable even with that in mind tho
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i just think katsuki is a very pinch their nose, tug on their ear, squish their cheeks, grab their whole face in his hand, hold them upside down by the ankles, put them in a headlock kind of dad.
#and the whole time he's listening to you talk about your day with a straight facr#*face#they're screaming and giggling and having a ball and he's just so casually got his child in a headlock#has their hands in one of his own and is tickling their lil pits#totally straight faced#and he's always doing it to them#even when they're older and in their teens he still tugs on his daughter's ponytail and she gets all DAD STOP#or he walks past your son and flicks him in the ear#wraps and arm around his neck until he can get out LOL#he's a BULLY !!!#he'll always be a BULLY !!!!#and then when he does it to you—they're both climbing all over him to get him off 🥺#katsuki wrestles you onto the couch and your lil knight in shining arm son charges him and climbs on his back and yells#LET GO OF MY MOMMY !!#and whacks him in the ear LOL#WAAAHHH#cw children#✿ thoughts: bakugou#✿ theme: dad bakugou
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Actually, Guzman is his spanish name.
OH YEAH some other folks pointed that out too, makes sense since it's an irl Spanish name (probably why I see it around a lot!) 😳
(normally it's a surname, I've only seen it used as a first name once in a blue moon -- but also in the pokemon world it's pretty clear that naming conventions aren't the same lol)
#oceandi answers#radicalldreamer#still harder for me to connect it to him since I played all the games in english -- it's only one letter away but it still feels just a#smidge closer than 'bromley'#frankly I hope someone out there calls him 'bromley guzmán' as his full name. and he just GOES by 'guzma' bc it sounds cool#that'd be neat#tag rambling#rambling ahead ->#speaking of guzma I spent a long time talking about aus with some friends and well. I think his dad's from johto skdjfksjdfskjd#iirc that was a HC back in the day amongst a small group of guz enjoyers.... but I think it makes SO much sense for gene's guz specifical#ly bc listen . hear me out okay he somehow knew about the bug trainers' convention and he wanted to go and usu'ally they#hold it in JOHTO. he's never won a gold medal for BATTLE but got the dawn stone as his first ever victory -- guess what region you can#get a dawn stone from in a competition that's based on more than just battling? YEAH -- JOHTO BUG CATCHING CONTEST BABEYYY#(hgss edition)#TWO of his main team are johto pokemon#he moved from melemele island to ula'ula where malie city/garden are -- inspired by johto and even including a johto-style gym#(I mean yeah he STAYED bc po town had a sudden amount of free real estate but why did he GO THERE in the FIRST place to join the#proto-Team Skull.)#though ig if he hates his dad maybe his dad's Not from johto and is from paldea instead ('rents could've been inspired by the name guzmán#and just wanted to make it sound more unique lol)#but either way he totally used to go to johto with his dad which is where he won a bug catching contest with his pinsir.#and then started winning battles there but always getting second/third place in actual like. /competition/ competitions. so not#getting the grand prizes/money/stuff/fame that his dad wanted him to earn for the family#ANYWAYS.
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative��#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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my family all of a sudden seems very concerned about the prospect of my brother moving in with his GF and me living alone.... as if I didn't live here by myself for a year+ when I first moved in and was much younger then and the house needed TONS of work and somehow I still survived.......
#everyone but my dad tho it seems lol#realistically I've been kinda on my own since like middle school... it isn't really anything new for me#I mean this hasn't even been like... set in stone. it's not like he came home last week and was like#I'm leaving!#but everyone seems very oddly invested in the fact that I'll be by myself#like bro I LOVED living alone are you KIDDING me?#and like lmao I am still the one paying ALL the bills (I don't wanna talk abt it)... buying my food... buying all the cat stuff#it's not like I'm losing income if I live alone.... so idk what everyone is so concerned about#creepy old guy who used to stalk me across the street DIED last year lmao so like.........#idk man#I'm tired. I haven't even STARTED thanksgiving prep and shopping and I'm TIRED. it's not even election DAY proper and I'm TIRED#NOvember. NOcember. NOuary. that's it. just NO. don't ask me for shit or voice an opinion. NO.#erin explains it all#delete later#probs lmao I'm just so TIRED jfc
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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Success, my dad told me today that he listened to Flood at work, and TWICE at that. Could it be that the TMBG propaganda is also working at last
#he says he likes istanbul and dead or rather the backup vocals on it more specifically#and that it's pretty funny but also varied and fun#i was starting to think that everyone around me would just find them too 'weird' you know. so this is a pleasant surprise#meanwhile my brother who's actually supposed to be going to the show with me still hasn't listened to them!!!#at this rate he's going to be the only person standing close to the stage who doesn't know a single lyric#while everyone else sings along. kind of a sad vision#but anyway i told my dad to listen to john henry next and i hope he likes it. he likes 'harder' stuff like hard rock and metal#so this should be right up his alley#it being an undeniably more rocking album than most of tmbg's other stuff#omg lol just as i'm finishing writing this i got a very exciting email that i can't really talk about publicly. concerning some other band#and some sort of delivery??? maybe???#damn today has been a fine day and tomorrow might be even better (i might be posting something regarding that when the time arrive#s)#goosepost
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Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.
My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper
#lee rambles#I gotta fix the metal bits on the front#they keep coming out of place and drooping down. maybe some hot glue'll work since i don't want to melt the styrofoam under the paper#I went as Chell that year#with a shitty handmade Aperature Science shirt lol#Also as a sidenote since i'm already talking a bunch in the tags#I have no idea if we're actually going to be able to afford to move or not#so we're kinda thinking about staying where we are and seeing how things go over the next few years#i know it's in my dad's will to sell but with how expensive rentals are i doubt we'd be able to afford 2k+ a month on top of our other bills#I just hope my Uncle doesn't give us too much shit about it. We didn't get much from the life insurances he had#definitely not enough to live on for long on its own#but 800 a month for the house is a lot more doable than 2000#we don't want to end up having to kill ourselves working just to make ends meet. That's probably what would happen if we moved#i dunno#just... thinking a lot about the future. I honestly hope we stay#It'd get rid of a lot of stress if we stayed. We'd still get rid of a bunch of things but... it'd be easier.#We weren't even really allowed to grieve. once the funeral was over we just had to start packing our lives away.#i'm a little bitter about it really. They've gotten to grieve and be away from the situation. We've had to be there the whole time.#We might've all been there the day he passed but they weren't there for his bad days. They weren't there helplessly watching as he slowly#got more and more tired. and sick. and depressed.#I don't know what we're going to do.#I didn't mean for this to turn all venty. sorry about that if you've read this far
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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so fucking stressed
#had a bad feeling all day. Somethingbdid happen but the feeling I still there#im so fucking worried abt Chevy and everything#I want my brothers gone. I want my mom to give a fuck#I was talking to my dad about how I feel like I’m gonna snap and how I won’t even feel bad about and all he could said is he wouldn’t blame#me or Chevy for that matter. Which like eases me because whatever happens would be in self defense#im so fucking stressed and I can’t sleep because k have so much nervous energy#my main priority is my gf and like. I’m gonna try and save up for a car but like I’m terrified of like#that. as a concept.. can I do that? Is that legal lol. And it is#im having like a breakdown I think. not a breakdown but I’m very panicky and jittery and stressed
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people really need to get a grip. The pale blue eye is a book set in 1830s, why are you surprised that there’s misogyny in the film?
#y’all would go wild if you knew the book was written by a gay man#I mean I understand the problems with the content and the way it’s handled#but Maddie’s situation… and the way 1830s society would’ve handled it would be to ignore it or consider her ruined.#it’s disgusting and it shouldn’t be a thing but that’s the reality#the movie struggled in playing out a lot of the character depth you get in the book#needed more Lea… needed more of her being a bad bitch#they put Mrs marquis in more than Lea tbh LOL and she’s not very significant in the book#I love the book and I’ll go to the grave defending it#the pale blue eye#still have the male savior complex I know but can we appreciate what landor did. kill r*pists.#women were silenced in those days.. maddie would not have been able to talk to anyone about it bc in the book she’s isolated in a cabin with#her dad. she rarely leaves.. and she’s so excited for that ball.. she wanted to go so bad#she prepped for days and that happens and it just shatters her being which in turn shatters the household#she didn’t have any girl friends.. she didn’t have friends.. she just lived with her dad!!!#suicide hits close to home and the movie hit close in its own way
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if I may be honest for a minute, this christmas is gonna be entirely weird to me (I already cried once) cause I basically have no family left (the ones I do don't spend time with me lol) and for the first time I can remember in life, I'm not making a christmas meal for my family and lots of desserts and doing my best to keep everyone entertained and even though it was super stressful, I already miss it. I'll be strong cause it's all that's left for me.
#gonna spend it with my second family which is my best friends family#he's throwing his first christmas party at his place so I won't be alone#he always makes sure I have somewhere to go#but I miss grandma#at this point she'd have a lot of stuff prepared and we'd be spending all day together working on recipes and making sure everything was go#good lmao#she couldn't help me last year cause she was already sick and it was so hard but I still made our christmas meal#didn't know it would be the last one#so yeah hard day for me cause my dad who was the family I had left decided that his priority is his new wife and left me he barely visits#or talks to me#so it's like he exists but also he doesn't cause he's being the happiest he's ever been#no regard for the daughter he forgot he cared about lol typical#anyway my life is tragic but I'll do my best to keep going even if it's out of spite#personal#usually I'd post shit like this on the main blog instead but meh gonna change it up this once#been using this one more#thank you dan and phil for giving me something to look forward to today
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i feel kinda crazy bc whenever i was a teenager i created this sorta imaginary older big sister who had moved out of the house so in my head i could live w her whenever i wanted bc she had survived it all and was independent and she would also just comfort me in a big sisterly way whenever something bad or upsetting happened and recently ive been going back to that at my big age 😭 and its kinda sad and also just wish fulfillment and also kinda scary bc i really used to think that by my age i'd have everything sorted but i really don't and i know that's normal and nobodies twenties are perfect but some people also have good relationships w their fathers which is crazy just to think about sooo
#is this readable? i hope not ❤️#i typed up some of my feelings about this in a word doc and just realised like damn i basically have an imaginary friend as an adult#i really am crazy lol#i just feel lonely within my family atm. bc my brother is younger than me so he could never really do anything to help#and i feel like i cant really trust my mam the same anymore..even tho i still love her a lot#and i'm trying to improve my relationship w my dad bc im realising what a hard life he had and that he's not like an irredeemable Bad Perso#and sometimes he'll look at me a certain way or apologise for something small that he would never have apologised for a couple of years ago#and i feel like im going crazy like is he becoming a better person or..? and i feel bad bc im not really doing the same#or maybe i am. sometimes i think im unfair to him considering how he is now but i also cant really reconcile what he is now w/ how he#was then. and then he'll suddenly say something to me in a certain tone of voice or with a certain sharpness and i'll go back to how a felt#as a teenager :/ i rlly dont know what to do about it but i think its because i dont really have anyone to talk to about it#i mean i sort of do. but i also dont actually know how much of it actually happened and how much of it i just made up#but having worked w teenagers yeah they can be little shits but i also cant imagine treating any of them the way my dad treated me#just bc theyre annoying or have an attitude or are a little mean or whatever#like theres actually a lot of ppl i could talk to but also how do you even bring something like this up#how do i say 'oh and i invented an older sister as a coping mechanism and sometimes i still talk to her in my head' without sounding crazy#its 2am here i need to go to bed i have work in the morning 😭 day and night and next day ruined bc my dad spoke to me slightly funny
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aoki 🥰 <- malicious intent
#snap chats#this post is literally about nothing i just saw a pic of him and i was overwhelmed with a feeling of adoration and murder#he's soooooo cute idc.... it's all a part of his plan me thinks...#everyone says He's Too Young To Be Governor and while 42-43 isnt .#i take that back i was going to say it wasnt 'pookie age' but weeeeee do not need to talk bout my unlucky monkey stream#point is he cacn still be cute and quirky... for publicity...... not overtly so but enough to have weird tiktok fancams of him...#I FOREVER LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA IN RGG LIKE I KNOW TIKTOK AND TWITTER FUCKING SICK#anyway. im a glasses fan sorry </3 plus his hair's stupid and dorky#ok bye sorry. i have to go back to drawing Not aoki. but ill draw him again one day.....#just... drawing his dad first.....#'which one' lol
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i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.
like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?
but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!
i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾
ouggghh im not little anymore but (。ノω\。) ♡ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:
like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.
but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽🤝👩🏾 i got ya lil sis
#sometimes I'm a teen sometimes I'm like 6ish??#the latter is rare but hm ૮ – ﻌ–ა when I'm little older me is still aware and can handle talking to ppl and getting the sentiment across n#whatnot. i don't know off the top of my head how different teen me and younger me are from each other 0: or how similar we all are#but bc older me is always aware like we all have my memories and experiences yk? and my littles r just Here and they come n go randomly#i am curious about these headspaces..#oh ? i went into the younger headspace rn (❁´◡`❁) ♡ it is pretty different.#very docile (。ノω\。) not a lot of thoughts just like. vague feelings. she laid on my big plushie n got comfies and drifted away though#idk...... i like.. invited other parts of myself 2 come say hey 2 me and make their presence known#(。・ω・。)ノ so i can take better care of n be more responsible for us since it's not just me yk?#and like teen me is kinda bratty and angsty lol but also such a hoe 💀 i love her akskaka girl..#she's such a daddy's girl low-key?? I've never had a dad or wanted one before lol.. she a lil boycrazy 🙈💕#i mean.. so am i but she's taking it to new heights lol!! 😭 it's interesting what wires get crossed n new connections I'm making these days#but like. they're both p different from me at both their respective ages and just compared to when I'm not regressed.#the teen one's been harder to pin down just bc i kinda go in n out of that one a lot but it's been going on a lot longer than i realize#so like.. i just naturally made space for me to be that way without knowing?? but now when i regress I'm like hey what up ✌🏾😏#ms ma'am's here to vibe for a bit. maybe look at some cute boys‚ maybe talk some shit‚ flirt a little who knows 💀#she's kind of a hoodrat like i was ill give her that lmao 😹 she's fun#she's also a lovergirl who rly cares about our friends just like me ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ i think on a surface lvl u wouldn't know the difference#between us unless u hung out around me a lot‚ but it's cute to think about ^.^#u are hanging out with us 👩🏽🤝👩🏾💕 we r having fun and appreciate u
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found this gem when cleaning out old emails
#caim talks#the context is me emailing my dad about my journey in skyrim and him telling me to stay safe! lol#he still talks about scout-many-marshes to this day#skyrim#elder scrolls
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