#d&d actually thought they were talented enough to do it in 6 episodes without more writers

[mattoyaki]

“GOT has always subverted expect-”

Lazy writing IS NOT the same as “subverting expectations.”

Say it with me folks.

Lazy writing is not the same as “subverting expectations!”

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[avinaccia]

A Completely Objective and Logical Ranking of Every Hetalia Character Song

New character songs are dropping,  I have too much time on my hands, let’s go. 

Also here’s a Youtube playlist for the ~✨nostalgia✨~

Bring it on in the tags 

71. Ah Legendary Class⭐The Awesome Me Highway [Prussia]: Absolutely tearing it up on the drums and on the vocal cords alike (I pray for Atsushi Kousaka). Great for the memes. 

70.  Happy Thoughts Museum [???]: This is listed as an official song but I had literally never heard of the title. Then I listened to it and BAM! Smack back to 2013 watching the teasers for the show on Funimation. Not sure I’d count it as a character song though...

69. (Nice)  My Song that is written by me for me [Prussia]: Deafened me but I can appreciate the industrial grind.

68.  My House is...Quiet. ~With the Trolls~ [Norway]: I have never heard this song, nor can I find any version of it online. By default it goes here and I am so sorry Norge.

67.  Make a Wish to Santa♪ [Sealand]: The discordant notes and childish exuberance only serve to make this sound like a demonic plea to Santa to eliminate the singer’s enemies.

66.  Heaven and Hell on Earth [Rome]: Rome sounds like he’s been in the corner of a restroom. Extra points for the metal version, minus points for the fact that the beach scene was replayed like 1764 times.

65. Canada Complete Introduction [Canada]: Quiet af until Kumacheerio shows up and blows out your speakers. they did you dirty my darling 😔

64.  It’s Easy!!! [America]: I don't think any video of this has ever stayed up for more than 20 seconds. Sounds cool, but like I was listening to 20 different genres at once, someone make him calm down.

63.  Bù Zàiyì the Small Stuff ☆ [China]: I cannot for the life of me find the complete song anywhere, clips have a cool beat though

62.  Let's Boil Hot Water♪ [Italy]: Exactly what it says on the tin..though a bit too close to elevator music for my tastes.

61.  The Fragrance of Early Summer [Japan]: Very ‘from the books’ Japan-esque song

60.  Peace Sounds Nice…[Baltic Trio]: All well and good until the radio demon shows up

59.  W●D●C ~World Dancing~ [America]: How a song can sound like it’s from 4 different decades at once is beyond me

58.  Overflowing Passion [BFT]: This is just drunken karaoke and I have 0 clue what’s going on #iconicforallthewrongreasons

57. Ren●Ren●Renaissance♪ [Rome+Chibitalia]: Wholesome Grandpa with Grandson content - barring the fact that Italy sounds on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Rome has had too much wine.

56.  Roma Antiqua [Rome]: Similar energy to any one of China’s songs - there’s a part of the song where it sounds like he’s singing in the shower, and I will never not laugh at [CENSORED]

55.  Country From Where the Sun Rises, Zipangu [Japan]: Very chill, very Japan, but just meh for me.

54.  Moon Over Emei Shan [China]: Good message, okay song.

53.  My Friend [England]: What a mind palace you must have Mr. Kirkland

52.  With Love, from Iceland [Iceland]: Three words: Heavy. Metal. Puffin.

51.  Having Friends is Nice...♫ [Russia]: Russia is the cutest thing ever

50.  Mm. [Sweden]: Smooth transition from WWE Smackdown to shopping at IKEA.

49.  Why don’t you come over? ~Beyond the Northern Lights~ [Iceland]: I don’t want to be mean but...this does sound like the second closing theme to an anime whose first closing was much more popular (à la Soul Eater)

48. Gakuen☆Festa [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Sounds like a 60s song of the summer but oh dear their voices do not go together. Hella cute though.

47.  Wa! Wa!! World Ondo [Main Cast]: One time I travelled 10 hours in a coach bus with a bunch of teenagers to a city of note in my country, and the only souvenir I bought was the fucking PAINT IT WHITE DVD. Perfectly chaotic, UN ĐĕùX~~

46.  In the Bluebell Woods [England]: In the album cover for this song he’s holding a guitar but this is not a rock song. Still has ‘running through the hills’ levels of dramatism though.

45.  Poi Poi Poi♪ [Taiwan]: You’re telling me that Taiwan, someone whose has *ONE LINE* in Beautiful World (which is criminal tbh what kind of representation-) managed to get an eNTIRE CHARACTER SONG???????

44.  White Flame [Russia]: There’s something to be said for a song that is 3x the length of any Hetalia episode

43.  Ich liebe… [Germany]: Baking cakes for your friends has never been so wholesome.

42.  We Wish you a Merry Christmas [America, China, England, France, Russia]: Nice to see they’ve gotten their shit together since United Nations Sta-hmm.

41.  Ah, Worldwide à la mode [France]: Sounds like a Disney Princess song, hard not to picture France frolicking in a field of flowers.

40.  Che Bello! ~My House is the Greatest!⭐~ [Italy]: Would not be out of place in an advertisement for Sea World.

39.  May You Smile Today [Japan]: THE feel good song of the summer

38.  Let’s Look Behind the Rainbow [Italy]: I will protect you.

37.  I'm your HERO☆ [America]: “Anyone who’s sad or sullen will be arrested” did NOT age well.

36.  Mein Gott! [Prussia]: Alternating headphone effect at the beginning is cool, so is the confidence...the actual singing on the other hand...

35. Nihao⭐China [China]: Listen, all of China’s character songs are great, I just can’t vibe with this one like some of the others.

34.  Pechka ~Light My Heart~ [Russia]: I’m still having difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that this and Winter were released at the same time.

33.  Pukapuka⭐Vacation [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Seems just a bit too much like they’re running on a treadmill that’s picking up speed and trying to sing at the same time. Peppy.

32.  Santa Claus is Coming to Town [Germany, Italy, Japan]: This is unironically the best song sung by this trio; can only vibe with for two months out of the year though.

31.  Excuse Me, I Am Sorry [Japan]: Japan’s character traits speedrun. Gives me barbershop quartet vibes for some reason but is catchy as hell.

30.  The Story of Snow and Dreams [Russia]: A superhero anime opening in the making

29. England’s Evil Demon Summoning Song [England]: Sir that is not how you roast a marshmallow, don’t cut yourself on that edge.

28.  Moi Moi Sauna♪ [Finland]: Exactly the type of song you’d expect and it’s wonderful

27.  United Nations Star⭐ [America, China, England, France, Russia]: This isn’t as much of a song as it is a four minute struggle for everyone to sing without America yelling every 5 seconds...Like a particularly musical episode of Hetalia.

26.  Paris is Indeed Splendid [France]: Paris-pa-pa-pa-paris

25.  Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman [England]: Poppy, rocky, polka-dotty

24.  Vorwärts Marsch! [Germany]: To quote the comment section: “This sounds like a German version of I’ll Make a Man out of you.” There’s some truth to that.

23.  Hamburger Street [America]: The product of America’s rapper phase. 8/10 because he’s trying so hard and because I can unironically sing along to all of this.

22.  Hoi Sam☆Nice Guy [Hong Kong]: A song that would absolutely destroy the ankles of anyone in DDR.

21.  I Am German-Made [Germany]: There was once a version that had Germany and Prussia singing at the same time and it sounded positively demonic and Broadway could never

20.  La pasión no se detiene ~Unstoppable Passion~ [Spain]: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping...

19.  Fall in Love, Mademoiselle [France]: Sounds like it should be in Mozart Opera Rock, I have kiss kiss falled in love.

18. Embrace the Très Bien Moi [France]: This is the definition of SELF LOVE PEOPLE. 

17. Carrot and Stick [Belarus&Ukraine]: Absolutely DRIPPING in 2000s power ballad energy. The type of song that plays on repeat in the mind of the widow whose millionaire husband ‘mysteriously disappeared’ (and the only legit character song ever acknowledged by the anime)

16. C.B.C (Cowboyz Boot Camp) Vol. 1 [America]: AH MAH GAWWDDD

15. Winter [Russia]: Heavy metal fever dream and the perfect song for an angst-ridden teenager

14.  Seychelles Here ⭐ Vacation Island [Seychelles]: UN👏DER👏RA👏TED SONG👏OF 👏THE 👏SUM👏MER👏

13.  Nah, it will settle itself somehow [Romano]: One day I aspire to reach this level of chill

12.  Let’s Enjoy Today [England]: I will never not feel happy when listening to this.

11.  Einsamkeit [Germany]: Ludwig manages to air every single one of his worries about not being good enough compared to his friends and always being perceived as mean or uptight when he’s actually just a softie and now my heart hurts. 💔

10.  Aiyaa Four Thousand Years [China]: A very poignant and beautiful song about the passage of time and the inevitability of its passing; comparable to an ancient ballad complete with explosive crescendos and meaningful lyrics.

9.  Bon Bon Bon❤️C’est Bon C’est Bon! [France]: Peppy, cheerful, adorable, groundbreaking; has been my alarm tone for six years and I’ve yet to tire of it. 9/10 The moaning interspersed throughout has been an interesting wake-up call.

8.  Let’s Enjoy! Let’s Get Excited! Cheers! [Denmark]: This is on par with Everytime we Touch by Cascada in terms of rage potential unlocked (the good kind)

7.  Dream Journey [Japan]: Whoever’s playing the shakuhachi is absolutely KILLING IT. Dramatic, wonderful, great metaphors.

6.  Gourmet’s Heart Beginner Level [China]: Absolute banger, I’m a vegetarian but this would inspire me to eat shumai.

5.  Always with you...Nordic Five! [Nordic FIVVVVVEEEE]: Everyone harmonizes beautifully except for Denmark. Extremely catchy, number placement seemed appropriate. 

4.  Pub and GO! [England]: I love this trash man

3. Maji Kandou⭐Hong Kong Night [Hong Kong]: If you thought Denmark’s song was a banger JUST YOU WAIT. I WILL BLOW OUT MY SPEAKERS LISTENING TO LO-HA-SU.

2. Steady Rhythmus [Germany]: THIS SONG IS METAL AF. Seriously, if it can be classified as ‘hardcore’ by my father and his group of 50-somethings who have decided to single-handedly gatekeep the metal and hardrock genres, it can do anything.

1.  The Delicious Tomato Song 🍅 [Romano]: Beautiful, absolutely awe-inspiring, poignant, catchy lyrics with an extremely deep meaning that only years of meticulous research and analysis can unlock, Romano I love you.

BONUS: Closing Songs

5. Hatafutte Parade (World Series) 

4. Hetalian⭐Jet (The World Twinkle): The song is good, the dancing is cursed 

3. Chikyuu Marugoto Hug Shitainda (World⭐Stars)

2. Marukaite Chikyuu (Hetalia: Axis Powers): nE NE PaPA

1. Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo (The Beautiful World)

[waejinyoung]

Can’t Swim - EP . 8

Can’t Swim 8

word count: 3.2k+

a/n: you might be questioning where I have been for the past couple of months. I have one word to say that should be a good enough answer. College. I’ve been studying none stop and found no time to write the next episode after university started. The posts will no longer be regular so just keep yourselves updated. Hopefully I will have another 2 episodes up between now and the end of the year at least but don’t quote me on that. I hope you enjoy! 

I’m deeply sorry for my absence again x

warnings: nothing

EP . 1 , EP . 2 , EP . 3 , EP . 4 , EP . 5 , EP . 6 , EP . 7 , EP . 8 , EP . 9

THIRD PERSON POV

The afternoon continued with Y/N and Jinyoung discussing life and getting to know one another whilst Y/N replied to her emails.

“It’s mind b-boggling how you and J-Jackson may have crossed paths back in 2012…” Y/N had just mentioned how she was training for the London 2012 Olympics to compete for swimming.

“Similar to Jackson, I switched career paths and decided to study architecture. Dad wasn’t the biggest fan until he saw the passion and success I had gained in the industry. He soon came to terms with everything.”

“Wow… do you r-regret it at all?” The clock marked 10:30 pm. You guys had been talking for the past 90 mins, getting to know each other.

“I think I regretted not swimming after deciding to study architecture. I didn’t choose to not compete in the Olympics because I no longer liked swimming so I do regret not continuing although I must say, studying architecture might be the most time consuming degree out there. That’s why later on I decided to apply to become a licensed swimming teacher to undergo lessons. I’d be teaching people how to swim whilst fulfilling my love for swimming.”

“Best of both w-worlds, r-right?”

“Exactly.” Y/N had now placed all her work to aside with her back against the wall, legs crossed enveloped into the conversation.

Some seconds went by and Y/N wanted to know about Jinyoung’s initial dreams.

“What about you? Did you always want to be a singer?”

“Always. I took up d-dance lessons when I was around 15. Then went to a-audition and got in to JYPE. That was when I met J-Jaebeom. We actually d-debuted together as a d-duo group called JJProject to later on d-debut with the r-rest of the g-guys as GOT7. Since t-then they’ve been my f-family rather than just my m-members. I think it’s g-getting to the p-point where I might have spent m-more years of my l-life with them then I did without. Time flies…”

“I could definitely sense the brotherly love you guys all have for each other. So how did becoming an actor happen?”

“I r-requested from the c-company to find roles I could take part in a couple years b-back. First it was small roles in small d-dramas and then being c-casted by more known d-directors to p-play bigger roles. All of that has l-led me to play s-second male lead for ‘When My Love Blooms’.”

“When do the episodes start airing?” Y/N had grown eager about Jinyoung’s talents.

“Hold your h-horses… we haven’t e-even started f-filming yet and won’t be until I r-recover… The original airing d-dates will probably be p-pushed f-further.” Jinyoung’s words drifted into a sudden realisation for his career.

“If only-“ Y/N was about to blame herself again.

“We’ve been through this m-multiple times Y/N. None of this is your f-fault so s-stop blaming yourself for t-things you have no c-control over.”

Y/N had her mouth open ready to retaliate but if she had to be honest… she couldn’t be bothered to fight back considering it was now coming up to 11:00 pm.

“Fine.” Y/N yawned and covered her mouth. Work had been extremely busy today especially with all the news floating around now.

“S-someone’s tired.” Jinyoung eyed Y/N’s tired state and decided to call it a night.

“I still have so much to do. I can’t fall asleep now.”

“C-could you n-not spare an e-early n-night just for t-today?” Y/N recollected her thoughts weighing up if she could possibly sleep early tonight and get all the work done tomorrow.

“I could…”

“Problem s-solved then. Clear up your b-bed and get your pjs on. I d-don’t want to f-face a t-tired Y/N tomorrow m-morning.” Y/N eyed your mean comment and huffed to your orders.

“Yes, sir.”

2 WEEKS LATER

Y/N’s POV

“Miss, Jinyoung has been recovering quicker than expected. He should be perfectly fine to attend the event. If anything unsettling happens you can give me a direct phone call.”

“Thank you so much Doc.” You gave the doctor a large smile and she reciprocated a reassuring smile.

You entered Jinyoung’s room with your outfit for the architecture awards festival along with you.

“Am I allowed to come?” Jinyoung asked as soon as you entered the room. You gave him a nod.

Jinyoung’s voice was more or less back to 100% and his eye had completed healed by the end of last week. There wasn’t much left until being fully recovered. Possibly parting from the hospital quicker than the original 2 months the doctor had estimated.

“I knew I’d get the green light. I even prepared my outfit because I was so sure I’d be able to come.” You hadn’t seen someone so ecstatic for an awards festival.

“As expected… I’m not even surprised. Will you be able to get dressed? Need any of my help?” Jinyoung was still a little instable since he’s been lying in bed for the past 2 weeks. His legs tend to give out for the first 30 mins.

“I think I can manage. I’ll get dressed quickly and then the bathroom is all yours.” You chuckled at his assumption that you’ll take really long in the bathroom for the event.

Jinyoung heads towards the bathroom and you are left there practising a speech you’ve written for all the awards you and your company have been nominated. This isn’t because you knew you were going to win any of them but… the unprofessional scenes if you guys were to win an award and to not have a speech ready daunted you. There was nothing wrong with being prepared.

15 MINUTES LATER

You must say… I don’t think you had ever laid eyes on someone so handsome in your life before. You could swear that this man was carved by God himself.

“How much deeper are you going to fall into my looks?” You hadn’t realised but you had been staring Jinyoung up and down for the past 30 seconds of him leaving the bathroom. Hair all styled. The suit was literally made for him. His cute bow tie was a little wonky leading you to let out a chuckle.

“What?” Jinyoung’s face turned serious thinking something was wrong with how he looked.

“Your bowtie is wonky.” You stood up from your seat and reached out to fix his bowtie. Your eyes were fixated in straightening the bowtie and all Jinyoung could do was analyse your face and how focussed you were.

“There you go. Looks better now.” You lightly let go off the tie and looked up at Jinyoung who was already staring right back at you. Those bambi eyes were going to be the death of you.

“Thank you. Now go and get yourself ready.” He pinched your nose and then you entered the bathroom with your dress, makeup bag and accessories.

20 MINUTES LATER

“Jinyoung~~” You called out for Jinyoung. You were done with everything but couldn’t reach the zipper on the back of your dress. You had been procrastinating on what to do and just gave up. There’s no way you could zip the dress up alone.

“Yes, Y/N. Is everything alright?” You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door.

“In a bit of sticky situation… could I ask you to do a favour?”

“Sure, what is it?” You went ahead and unlocked the door for him. He took a step back and couldn’t contain the sight in front of him. You were in a red bandeau strapless dress which had a structured skirt that was shorter at the front and longer at the back with. A very slight trail. Unsurprisingly your makeup was the bare minimum and you had left your natural hair out. His mouth was agape as you stepped out of the bathroom.

“How much longer are you going to stare for Mr Park?” He had been in the same awe you was when he had stepped out of the bathroom earlier on.

“Yes…right… the favour?” His soul re-entered his body trying to compose himself. You could only smile on the effect you had on the prince himself.

“I can’t reach my zipper, could you zip up the back of my dress for me?” You saw his cheeks blush a light pink below the thin layer of bb cream he had on. Without the zip done neither of you were going anywhere so he had to do it.

He wasn’t able to give a verbal response and just nodded. You turned around to have your back facing Jinyoung. He moved your hair to aside exposing half of your back to him. He was blushing so hard right now and was happy to have you facing away from him even though in a matter of seconds you’d be facing him seeing the shades of red planted on his cheeks. Jinyoung gently placed one hand on the zipper and the other hand on your back holding the fabric of your dress still. His fingers grazed your skin and they were a little cold leading you to jolt a little by the surprising cool touch. He notices.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was a little worried. The slightest worrying reaction you make, and he’s so concerned. He’s too sweet.

“Nope, your hands are just a little cold that’s all.” You say whilst you chuckle.

He apologises with his soothing voice and zips up the dress, letting out a quiet done when finished.

You turn back round and thank him for his kind gesture. You also noticed the flush of his cheeks. He’s so cute, you thought. You quickly put your heels on and left Jinyoung’s patient room and entered the hall of the hospital. Expectedly, you guys received some stares and some whistles by the old women sitting outside their patient rooms. The event manager had organised a limousine to pick up each nominee for the awards hence why there was a lovely jet black limousine parked at the entrance of the hospital. The driver spotted you two and guided you the way and kept the door open for you two to enter the fancy vehicle. He ran back to the wheel and started driving towards the venue.

“Anything I need to know beforehand? Who should I present myself as?” Jinyoung had started with the questions during the car drive.

“Who’d you like to present yourself as Jinyoung?” You wanted to fish out his intentions from him.

“Preferably your boyfriend in order to stop those punks from hitting on you but I’d never want to force you into a relationship with me…” He side eyed you as he kept looking out the window. You so wanted him to be your boyfriend.

“Logical. Agreed. If anyone asks, you’re my boyfriend.”

“What an honour.” You slap his thigh due to his sarcastic tone.

“Whatttt? I’m serious. I’m going to be the boyfriend of an amazingly talented architect who’s bound to receive an award tonight. It’s a genuine privilege.” You could only look at him in awe as he described the so called ‘privilege’ he was taking part of.

“If you say so…”

The humming noise from the motor of the limousine was really calming but Jinyoung broke the silence once again.

“Are you nervous?” His tone was much deeper and serious compared to how he was a second ago.

“A little. These awards happen once a year and we’ve progressed so much as a company but so has everyone else in the industry. It’s hard to tell if we’ll be receiving the major validation from the institute. With or without the award tonight I’m so pleased with my company, but it would be nice to get a recognisable achievement for all our hard work.” Jinyoung listened to you as you let out your insecurities for the upcoming night.

“In the little amount of time I’ve met you, I think you’re the only person who deserves all the awards you’ve been nominated for this year. No one can change my thoughts and it’s going to be a pleasure to witness your achievement first hand. I can’t wait.” He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles trying to calm your nerves down. It was going to be a long night.

30 MINUTES LATER

Your limousine had rocked up to the red carpet laid out on the floor outside of the venue of the awards. You took a deep breath as the driver ran around to Jinyoung’s side of the limousine to let him out. Jinyoung agreed to open your door for you so he exited the vehicle first. Like he had planned, he went around to your side and opened the door for you to step out. The cameras started capturing every single moment as you wrapped your arm around Jinyoungs, and he gave you a reassuring nod. You gave him a smile and the two of you walked towards the entrance of the building slowly as you waved to the cameras and press greeting the two of you. The cameras were close to blinding, but you pulled through until reaching the entrance where the bodyguard escorted the two of you to your spaces in the main hall.

The building was full of white and gold decorations. You could definitely tell that the theme was highly influenced by Greek culture. The budget of the awards keep growing as the number of sponsors increase. The bodyguard escorted you to the table that Beck was already sat at with his fiancé. Beck realised your presence as well as Jinyoung. He stood up to give you a hug and shook Jinyoung’s hand. Beck’s fiancé shook both of your hands too and took your seats.

“The famous Mr Park. It’s nice to meet you in person. I’m Beck, the other shareholder.” Beck gave Jinyoung a warm smile.

“It’s nice to meet you to Beck. It seems like you already know of my name, but I’ll reiterate for the norm. My name is Park Jinyoung, you can call me just Jinyoung.” You let out a scoff because of how formal Jinyoung was being with Beck.

“He’s younger than you so you can ignore the formalities.” You said to Jinyoung and then Beck and him opened the conversation about age and their Chinese zodiac signs.

The evening began at 7:30 pm with the award winners due to be announced at 9:00 pm. Until then there was butterflies in your stomach ready to be set free any minute now.

Jinyoung came closer to your ear and whispered, “Loosen up a little. There’s no need to be this tense. Here hold my hand.”

Jinyoung offered his hand and you took it immediately as he gestured his open palm. Your hands were tiny compared to his manly hands. They encompassed all your digits giving you’re a sigh of relief because of the security they exerted. You let out a large sigh and continued with the discussions on your table with the new clients that were interested in your company. Having Jinyoung at the event really helped scare away the useless men who would only be interested in your physique and nothing more. His presence filtered out all the nonsense that would usually be taking place at the table.

The clock finally struck 9:00 pm and everyone went back to their designated seats in order for the awards to be presented. The event holder went through all the minor rookie awards to then move onto the company categories.

“Here are the nominees for Best Project of the Year.” The event holder signalled to the larger screen behind him as the nominees including your company are mentioned in no specific order.

“I was personally really fond of this project myself too. The meaning behind the design and the immense detail put into the façade really makes me excited for the future of this company. I’ll stop blabbing on and open the envelope.” You looked at Beck and then back at Jinyoung who was really eager to know the result.

“The award for Best Project of the Year goes to…” The event holder lifts the flap of the envelope and takes out the white sheet of paper inside. You hold your breath waiting for the result to be spoken.

“The Chamberlain project, designed and constructed by Chevrel Architects.” The whole community around your table started roaring and cheering for you and Beck to claim the award. That was one award written down in the books for Chevrel Architects, a company you and Beck had started years back. You and Beck had decided that if this award was given to you guys then he’d give the speech for it. Beck was the reason for the Chamberlain project happening and hands down you could state it was because of him the project turned out well. You, Jinyoung and everyone else in the hall stood up clapping as Beck walked up to the stage and shook hands with the event holder along with receiving the award. He then walked up to the mic and started his speech.

“I’d like to first start off with a large thank you to everyone at Chevrel Architects. The amount of hard work that was put into the Chamberlain project is indescribable, without everyone’s help it wouldn’t have been possible to achieve such a great outcome. I’d like to also thank Y/N for coming on this journey with me and trusting in me when I said that this company will create its own legacy. This is only the beginning…” Beck continued to thank more or less everyone he knew and came to an end with another roaring applause by everyone.

He jogged back to your table and you admired the award he placed on the table. You felt Jinyoung squeeze your hand in encouragement for you to realise how much you guys are capable of although he still knew you were a little iffy because the individual architect awards hadn’t been announced yet. You couldn’t help but smile at the gleaming object right before your eyes. Having received this award you doubted that another award would be given to someone of the same company.

Minutes went by and the event holder had reached the most awaited award of the night. Architect of the Year. You were surprised that you hadn’t left to use the restroom to throw up all this anxiety already. You were so ready to go home and relax. You wanted your normal heart rate back. You looked at Jinyoung and he gave you a look that melted your heart in seconds. He started massaging your knuckles with his thumb again and you could feel your body ease into his touch. The event holder for the last time of the night directs our attention to the screen for the listing of the nominees. Beck unfortunately wasn’t nominated so he was rooting for you to win the award.

“I know for many of you this is probably the most important part of the night. I’d like to first mention that to be able to be nominated for this award is ana achievement in itself so, you architects should all be proud of yourselves. It was a very hard decision that the committee made but we were able to make a decision. The award for Architect of the Year goes to…”

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I think it was mean of me to have ended this episode here, but it is 2:30 am right now as I write this episode. I hope you guys liked this episode. I shall be back somewhat soon so make sure to come back to check if an episode has been uploaded. Like always let me know your opinions on the story line and check out the other episodes if you haven’t. It would be nice to get some feedback :)

See you next time

writer-nim x

[carrollstreetstation]

WW2GI and the saving private ryan TC for duke nukem 3D: a level-by-level breakdown

EPISODE 1: D-DAY

the first half of the game starts off with a bang as you're dropped right into it with the omaha beach landings; from there you'll go on through the hedgerows and villages of normandy, killing nazis left and right and dying... again... and again... and again. according to the credits, we can thank tuoma "tuco" korva and lado "icebreaker" crnologar for the level design, but i've no way of telling you who did which.

E1L1: d-day what's more iconic in united states military history during WW2 than omaha beach? this recreation of the bloody battle might not be as lethal as the real thing, but it sure is nearly as nightmarish. the game throws you in deep real fast and you're forced to learn, through trial and error, the basics of the game, all the while random explosions and bullets out of nowhere will cut your gameplay short. you'd think they'd at least give us some basic training... even medal of honor frontline was more forgiving.

E1L2: atlantic wall omaha beach, part 2. you're alone for this one, you and several dozen enemy troops as you work your way through a complex of shattered bunkers and rail lines. not much sense to the layout on this one, though cool carnage as a row of parked trucks are annihilated in an artillery explosion -- along with all the nazi goons hiding behind them.

E1L3: defend you meet up with some friendlies just in time for a panicked radio message -- a squad is pinned down under enemy fire and need help. working your way through a flooded village and a forest infested with nazis, you eventually come upon the squad, hiding in some foxholes as a couple dozen enemy mysteriously teleport in by a hedgerow on the far end of the field. aside from some extra ammo, you also get access to an artillery strike via radio and a mortar launcher. hold out long enough and a gate will open with reinforcements behind, and the exit beyond.

E1L4: hunt for the 88s jesus christ. if you managed to get through the d-day map without getting too frustrated you may wind up throwing in the towel on this one, an extremely dark night mission in the woods where the enemy can see you but you can't see them, and they always have insanely good aim. the one thing it has going for it is a pretty cool scripted sequence where you and a squad of guys traverse a bit of forest, exchanging some bad banter -- very cool for the build engine! and then they all die in an ambush, leaving you to play audie murphy -- again.

E1L5: finding private mccurkee first of all, lol. second of all, this mission is actually almost fun. a ruined little town teeming with enemy, you'll have an opportunity to use a rifle to pop enemies from a distance, which will be useful as there's plenty of snipers. a mortar team will make your life hell near the end. it's fun working your way through the ruined buildings and finding ways to climb up into otherwise inaccessible rooms.

E1L6: saving private mccurkee did you like e1l5? how would you like to do it again, only this time in reverse, in the dark, and with an NPC in tow that you have to babysit -- assuming he doesn't get his dumb ass stuck in the foxhole right at the beginning of the level and then you don't notice he's done it so you save your game like a dumbass and now you have to noclip through the gate at the end because the idiot doesn't know how to climb?

yeah. i didn't like e1l6.

E1L7: mop up the final mission of the d-day episode is a mercifully daytime shootout across a semi-detatched military complex in which you shoot a bunch of nazis, blow up some tanks, dodge some artillery fire and, in the end, lay waste to a small, fenced-in compound guarded by SS, who distinguish themselves from regular grunts by their distinctive black uniforms and red nazi armbands. just hanging around them lowers your morale; ignoring the fact that the morale system makes no sense, this does amusingly give rise to the idea that the SS are so evil that they can sap you on a psychic level.

i mean, that's true of nazis today.

final thoughts: not a good first half. maybe three or four of the levels are salvageable; the rest are unmitigated shit, especially e1l4. while this is very likely the first-ever WW2 FPS to feature the omaha beach landings and the normandy invasion at large, it's a novelty at best, an exercise in frustration that shows the limits both of the engine and the designers' talents.

EPISODE 2: FRANCE

not sure what exactly distinguishes this episode from the previous, except that it's perhaps a continuation of the battle of normandy? who knows. regardless, it's another 7 levels of this shit, because they couldn't see what they did in episode 1 and think "we've done enough damage."

E2L1: hell from above a much more sensible first level, this is essentially a sweep-and-clear mission as you work your way (alone, of course) through a cute little village along a river. lots of wide open space means little cover for you, but it also makes combat a bit of a turkey shoot (especially with auto-aim on.) oddly you get tons of MP40 ammo -- even maxing it out -- before you ever actually get the MP40.

E2L2: seaside sweep a quick jaunt through a seaport. lots of nazis, and lots of BAR ammo to perforate them with. would actually be a decent level if not for an issue i ran into -- i don't know if it's endemic to the game or if it's a bug introduced by eduke32 -- that placed two very large wall texture sprites in the map that blocked my view of the final building, forcing me to god mode just to be able to approach the place.

E2L3: under fire similar to "defend" from the first episode, the first half of this mission involves you facing off against endlessly respawning waves of germans until such time that you're called to retreat through the village, which is swarming with germans. clear your way through it and you're treated to a grisly scene of SS troops forming a firing squad to execute captured allied prisoners. definitely feels like a precursor to the early call of duty levels. it's not *too* bad a level i guess.

E2L4: paperwork it's time to attack an SS-occupied chateau in this quick little mission. it starts off surprisingly easy with a short, linear path that takes you through some countryside. a heavily fortified bridge serves as the main defense of the chateau and every window bristles with guns. get inside the chateau walls and it's wall-to-wall SS, draining your morale with every burst of their MP40s and having the infuriating tendency to have your shots (especially your BAR) go right through them.

E2L5: railroad typhoon you've been tasked with rescuing a bunch of captured allied troops who've been put on a train, which means storming a trainyard. it's mostly wide open spaces here, though there is a cool part in a connecting tunnel where you're checking train cars. the trainyard itself is comparatively vast, and enemy fire comes from all directions. relatively fun map.

E2L6: a game of bridge like the name suggests, the key feature of this level is a bridge, currently occupied by a tank and a large contingent of nazis. to get there you'll have to fight your way through the town; across the river are rows of windows from which the enemy shoots at you (a common feature in this episode that i'm starting to suspect may be a favorite feature of one of the mappers.)

E2L7: urban rush the finale of WW2GI involves fighting your way through a massive urban area to rescue a captured general. this is probably the largest level in the episode; with an enemy around every corner. while it's otherwise an interesting, intense level (a small legion of semi-invincible SS notwithstanding) there's a frustrating bit where you must go through a no-man's-land of sorts that's constantly being bombarded by artillery.

final thoughts: a significantly better second half, but the problem is, that's not saying much. it still suffers from issues endemic to the game, like the insane reaction times of the enemy, the massive damage they do to you, and so on. however, the gameplay is much more straightforward for the most part, with no NPCs to babysit, no weird trial-and-error "wtf do i do next" issues, just pure nazi slaughter. now if only the game didn't suck.

PLATOON LEADER

platoon leader is a free expansion for WW2GI that adds three more levels to the game and several additional features. two of these, inexplicably, are set during the vietnam war, a throwback to TNT team's earlier outing NAM (which itself was a sequel to their earlier free mod for duke nukem 3D 'platoon,' based on the movie of the same name.) the remaining level, however, is set in the pacific theater of world war 2. the result is that the armory is a mix of WW2 and vietnam war-era weaponry, with the level design such that you won't receive weapons that don't belong in the era you're playing. speaking of level design, no clue who did this one, but i want to punch them.

PLT_E1L1: hill 41 eeeuuugh. you start at the base of a hill. while you have a radio that can call in both a tank assault as well as an air strike, your main strategy is going to be charging up a hill swarming with IJA troops. while the hill is actually rather realistically constructed, with varying slopes and flat planes, this is about the only interesting facet of the level design as the entire hill is covered in invisible land mines and enemy shooting at you. making matters worse is that the game seemingly arbitrarily will declare the mission a failure and cover the screen with a failure notice, forcing you to restart. i even god-moded my way up to the top, killed everything i could, blew up the tunnel entrance, and still failed. this level sucks.

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN TC* FOR DUKE NUKEM 3D

"saving private ryan" is a landmark war film that changed how war movies were made and inflamed the imaginations of game designers everywhere. imagine storming omaha beach from the comfort of your own home; imagine fighting through the hedgerows. while the commercial game "WW2GI" was the very first world war II-themed FPS that wasn't wolfenstein with its abstract mazes and mad science, "saving private ryan TC," released a few months after WW2GI (and using some stolen assets from it), was an attempt by a small group of duke 3d fans to recreate their favorite war movie. in this mod for duke nukem 3D are five levels, each one representing a key scene from the film. an archived version of the mod's website lists two people as level designers: jeff (using the name eXtreme-Rush) and jody (using the name kissle.) i couldn't tell you who did which maps, not that it terribly matters.

* note: TC stands for total conversion, an older term for what we'd now simply call a mod

SPRL1: ohmaha beach yes, that's how it's spelled. basically a worse version of ww2gi's d-day map, it can be done in a matter of seconds. once you blow the shingle and get up onto the ridge it's just nazi city in the trenches beyond, and ammo is scarce -- you're better off just running towards the crater with the movie poster in it.

SPRL2: vierville very short little jaunt through a war-torn village, with a squad of useless soldiers following you. the ruined applecart from the movie is here, as is the half-blown out house; a lone enemy up in a tower is easily dispatched, but figuring out how to get past the invisible wall blocking your further progress is tougher.

SPRL3: bunker another short level, a charge up a hill with the enemy already firing at you. the bunker itself with the radar is cool-looking, at least.

SPRL4: the fields basically "bunker" but with tall, semi-transparent grass sprites everywhere. kill all the nazis and then go talk to the US soldiers hiding near the burning halftrack, and you're on to the finale.

SPRL5: last battle probably the closest this thing gets to a real level, and it sucks ass. you'll not hurt for ammo, and health items actually show up here, but the place is teeming with enemy and cover is light. get across the bridge and you're done.

final thoughts: whoof. while it's true they recreated the setpieces, it comes at the expense of gameplay. the levels are, in a word, ugly and simple, with little in the way of anything distinctive. the whole thing can be gotten through in about 10-15 minutes; wouldn't it have been more fun to simply mix the movie's story beats into a broader game that more closely resembles WW2GI? sometimes i wonder what happened to the mod team; it's clear they were young when they made this (weren't we all, back then...) i guess in the end i admire what they were trying to do, and i appreciate that they were young and didn't really think this through. but it just doesn't work.

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

[sheikah]

No, anon, I’m not mad at the footage. I’m so unbothered by it that I gifed it myself to spread with other people on tumblr. Happy to see another Stark Sibs reunion. (More below cut because I went off today sry)

On this, the one year anniversary of my delicious canon ship having sex and looking at each other like this: 

You know, an episode after Jon looked at Dany like this.

And three episodes after he unabashedly stared at her like this:

The very last thing that concerns me is Jon Snow hugging his sister. His sister that he went weeks, maybe even months, without bothering to contact at all after he went South, building up to HIM being the one to approach DANY and going to her cabin to bang her into oblivion. 

So, again, Jon hugging his sister is the least of my concerns. Let’s take this moment to reflect back on Stark familial affection, shall we?

Gotta love normal, healthy signs of affection between siblings and parents with their children, huh? I’m glad Jon and Sansa can hug like family. They both deserve it after everything they’ve been through.

So, no. this is not something that worries me. I honestly wasn’t even going to respond to this because the idea of still having to prove or defend Jonerys, or say that J0nsa isn’t canon... at this point it’s beating a dead horse. Like I respect most J0nsa shippers. I follow several J0nsa shippers and several follow me. That doesn’t just count for multishippers, either. Some people who ONLY ship J0nsa are still my friends. But it’s you insane J0nsalockers who can ONLY like your ship if it’s canon that make this fandom so impossible to exist in. You have to stop. You’re ridiculous. 

D&D and HBO have not, by any stretch of the imagination, “officially” promoted J0nsa. And I was going to be nice and diplomatic and not even address this but you know what? Fuck it. I’m so tired of you guys ruining this environment for the sane members of this fandom.  You know the real, ugly reason that that footage was chosen? Not to showcase J0nsa. That’s for damn sure. I would say first and foremost they show it because it isn’t too spoilery. It’s just a hug between family who’ve already hugged and who we already knew would reunite. It’s a really bland first look at s8. But more than that, this particular scene seems to be here to tease StarkBowl. Again. 

Now, I’ll preface this by saying I don’t believe that StarkBowl will happen. Not at all. Because unlike you guys, I don’t find it necessary to tear down Sansa so that I can feel better about my ship. But D&D constantly tease this idea. It started in season 6 when they had Sansa withhold the truth about Littlefinger and his army from Jon. It continued with the cryptic look she gave Littlefinger during the KitN scene. And in season 7 they hinted at it by having Sansa and Jon disagree over pressing matters in eps 1 and 2, and making it seem like Sansa was agreeing with the Northern lords who distrusted Jon’s leadership in later episodes. It was the entire driving conflict behind Arya’s distrust of Sansa.  Speaking of Arya, there was also a deleted scene in which Sansa apparently considered executing Arya, and only decided not to after consulting Bran personally. It was cut to make it seem like Sansa trusts in Arya implicitly without such a conversation needing to take place to set her on the right path. Add to that the script for 7.07 which explicitly refers to Sansa at this stage as “Dark Sansa.”

Wanting to be respectful of my friends in the J0nsa fandom I ignored the prevailing interpretation of the new s8 promo footage and posted the gifs without comment. But most people have been reblogging and saying in their caption or tags that Sansa “looks mad” or is “scheming.” 

I don’t think that’s off base. Look at her expression here.

She seems distant and detached. Instead of nestling into Jon’s hug or closing her eyes like she did here:

Her eyes are open, looking past Jon, clearly thinking about something serious instead of simply hugging him back. So yeah, if you ask me, THAT is the reason this footage was used. Because to the discerning viewer or a member of the GA who has no idea wtf J0nsa is, this is just further teasing of “Dark Sansa” and StarkBowl, creating tension and sparking conversation among the viewers over what this could mean. No, I don’t think Sansa is evil or will betray Jon. But D&D clearly want us to think that she’s at least thought about it. And while I don’t agree with that characterization, they pushed it A LOT last year.

Back to the point. I can’t stress this enough: the average viewer has never thought about J0nsa a day in their life. It wouldn’t occur to them to ship Jon, the righteous and upstanding hero figure, with his sister. Not when the show goes out of its way to speak to the controversy of Cersei/Jaime. Hell, even Hannah Murray looked at the interviewer like they were out of their mind when asked if she ships J0nsa at Con of Thrones. 

She was confused as hell. Someone who WORKS ON THE SHOW and is a major cast member, has never thought about it before. Shouldn’t that tell you something?

Anyway, with the promo, HBO is reaching out to the GA--people who, like Hannah Murray, have no idea about our crazy shipping preferences here on tumblr dot com. They are not promoting J0nsa. They are trying to drum up controversy over StarkBowl. Just like they did in the past. Just like they teased Dark Dany, too. It’s just what they do.  You’re welcome to languish in misery convincing yourself your ship is canon and that Jonerys is stupid until you’re blue in the face. You’re only going to be disappointed when the season airs. (And I think that even you know that deep down, anon). 

I’m perfectly fine with people shipping J0nsa. The actual content creators (see: not antis) are talented and nice. But I block every anti blog I see, and I’m no longer actively seeking out discourse on this subject because there’s no point. It’s not up for debate anymore. It’s over. So please stop sending anon hate to Jonerys bloggers, especially people like me who do everything in my power to avoid this kind of nonsense. Just stay in your lane and ship and let ship in peace. P.S. I screenshotted this instead of answering it directly because you spelled out J0nsa and it didn’t want it to go in the J0nsa tag. It’s called being courteous. Learn it.

[kimmysfandomblog]

Makoto and Hajime, since it's the week ? :D

Thank you, Chloe~ Sorry I took so long to reply!

I’m really sad the week’s at an end TTvTT It was honestly a rewarding experience, and I’m really pleased with how it turned out (so far... I know some people still with WIPs or said they were wanting to join, but didn’t have time to start, and I hope they submit it later rather than give up!)

Anyways, on with the ask!

From here:  A MORE DETAILED CHARACTER MEME!

Makoto Naegi:

What I like about them

How he had been in the first game was really endearing! Yeah, there wasn’t a whole lot of confidence in himself, but he was still one to try to be optimistic and see the best in people. He’s truly kind and pretty selfless, although a bit of a goof as well XD I think that he was alright of a protagonist! And even in DR3, he had good moments. I liked how he was able to piece together what had been going on using Kirigiri’s clues, and his suspicion of Mitarai as well (from what I remember, that was his own way of connecting the dots?) And while I’m not sure I’ll ever be satisfied with the ending of any conflict, Naegi in DR3 could think fast. He sets up traps for Munakata and made it impossible for him to escape while the wristband was on. I thought that part was clever (even if the following conversation didn’t convince me much)

What I dislike about them

Ehhh, after DR3, my opinion of him lowered. A lot. He ended DR3 played off as the hero when he really, really didn’t do much. And honestly, he couldn’t. The writers wrote that he couldn’t run. That’s a good idea on paper, maybe, but not in execution. Especially considering how he is the protagonist. He ends up relying a lot on Asahina to save him from situations, and even when he does come across situations where he is supposed to be good at, talking to people, it comes off a lot less realistic… kind of forced. I’m wondering if that is a fault on the animation studio’s end, or whoever wrote the final script. Not to mention, when it comes to the very end, Togami giveshima whole squad to get to Mitarai, endangering them all… for Makoto to leave it to Hinata and company in the end lol. And then he gets to be the figurehead of Future Foundation for supposedly defeating the Remnants of Despair… yeah, that doesn’t sit well with me at all XD

Favorite moment:

It’s hard to choose! I think, though, I was most hyped when he showed up as a silhouette in the Investigation part of SDR2 Chapter 6? Him avoiding his execution was really cool, too, though!!! Oh yeah, and my Hi/Naegi heart fangirls over that one scene where they nod at each other XD

Least favorite moment

Mostly DR3 moments, lol. Especially the last episode! Like I said, Naegi was made to be the hero after failing to get there to Mitarai. He just hardly does that much in the grand scheme of things. In DR1, even if he leaned a little heavy on Kirigiri, it is him who was targeted a lot by the mastermind, and him who broke everyone’s despair away. In DR3, he kind of does it with Munakata, and then no one else. Just the way the game was designed made it so that he hardly knew most of the victims, and he was split away from even Kirigiri, who really did most of the work for him.

As for a non-DR3 moment… the bathhouse scene lol. The fan-service scene is really out of character. My first time with DR1 was with the anime, so such a scene was skipped, thankfully.

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

I want to see how he gathered up the remnants, and all the things he had to do while watching DR2′s killing game. I’m really curious about how he confronted Kamukura specifically, and why it is he had no clue this Hajime Hinata wasn’t Izuru Kamukura. I mean, sure, Remnants of Despair may have changed themselves drastically, but Hajime was even more so, and it was not necessarily changes due to Despair. Also, meet up with Komaru please???? Interactions with Hinata???? His parents were just forgotten????

An interesting AU for this character

I’m so bad at this because all I’ll ever come up with is a fantasy AU XD He’d be the gardener or something that somehow is able to save the princess from a raid by an enemy kingdom and they somehow gather up morale and he ends up leading the rebellion and saves the day without having ever lifted his sword. Something like that XD

A crossover

…. The only thing besides Danganronpa that I care about is Kingdom Hearts ^^;;; He’d be Ventus in my crossover, rather than Sora!

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

I like Nae///giri and Hin//aegi both!!! Nae///giri is something that develops rather well in DR1, and Hin///aegi is just such a warming and soft ship to me! Like, I just feel like they’d complement each other pretty well? They have a ton in common, and could teach each other different things.

Other ships?

Nae///zono! It’s a ship that I don’t talk a lot about, but I really liked his relationship with Maizono a lot. I truly miss her :( I really want to know what their relationship was like in the pre-DR1 year that they were in the same class together. 

BROTP

Pretty much all of the survivors of DR1, and Sayaka, and of course his sister! Also Hinata!!! I feel like they could really help each other!

NOTP

Well, I don’t really have one that really irks me, honestly? I’m not the most comfortable with Kom///aegi and Nae///gami all the time, though. Kom////aegi tends to be weirdly balanced, where Komaeda overpraises Naegi, but may till manipulate him and have some kind of power that way. It’s not my favorite interaction. As for Nae///gami, It’s also got that imbalance issue. In either case, if you portray it in a way that they are or become equals (without any messed up stuff happening mind you) then I’m really okay with them.

An assortment of headcanons!

Makoto does eventually find his parents, however even though they are physically unharmed, they are catatonic. They don’t respond to much of anything anymore, and it’s a mystery how they were able to live by the time Future Foundation got to them

Makoto holds grudges for very few people. They are not always bad people, but while outwardly he tries to be optimistic, inside, he’s wishing he was anywhere but near those people, or talking about those people.

Makoto and Sayaka, during their year in Hope’s Peak, grew very close, but never brought up dating each other. They were attracted to each other before they knew each other, and while they still are romantically attracted by the end of the year, it’s different, a little more sure, now that they do know each other. The apocalypse comes, and it never feels like a good time to brig it up anyways.

Makoto doesn’t realise he is the target of romantic attraction for quite a few people. Within the school year, he takes it as people just being naturally shy or standoffish. After the killing game, he assumes it is because of his supposed title of Ultimate Hope that he never actually called himself. (The exception to this is Kirigiri... he’s gotten to know her well enough to get that they like each other).

Hajime Hinata

What I like about them

Hinata was, and remains, DR’s best protagonist. He has development throughout DR, and I was really rooting with him slowly. He’s really funny in how blunt he is, and that sarcastic nature of his is great. But, probably most importantly to me, is that he is ever so relatable. He’s actually really sweet and caring, and he’s not one to resort to violence first. If there is something he thinks he can do for a friend, he’ll try to do it. And he’s imperfect.... He doesn’t have any talent whatsoever, he’s insecure about himself, he pushes people away and tries to run away and find easier solutions. Those are good things. It makes him feel more real.

What I dislike about them

Hinata’s a really good character... but well, the ending of DR2, I feel like he could have snapped out on his own. Nanami being there... I would like to believe that the one that was talking to him in that mindscape was not the real Nanami, not even really the AI Nanami. She’s a figment of his imagination that represents the gentle side of courage. Still, I wish that it wasn’t her exactly, or it was more clear that this was Hinata convincing himself that he doesn’t need to run away from hard choices.

I also gotta say that while I am entertained by post-canon Hinata’s potential... he lacks a lot of what I liked in Hinata in the first place. He’s now too perfect, even more so than Izuru who’s fault is the inability to empathize. I guess if he was shown to struggle at least a bit between feeling and not, not always being able to consciously use a talent, but in other situation it happens consciously, or really showing any kind of repercussion than being so clearly rewarded for having taken part in the Hope Cultivation Plan instead of chosing to be himself, I’d feel more satisfied. I also just am not a fan of how much they center Nanami in the end of DR3. At DR2′s ending, it was clearer to me that his decision was also for the sake of everyone else. Now that they are all awake, it’s almost like it’s all for her sake now. Like, how Mitarai should join them because it is what Nanami would have wanted... that’s just weird.

Favourite moment

I complained about Nanami’s part in the very end of SDR2, but honestly, besides her, I genuinely loved to see Hinata and his transformation! I don’t mean just in his “Awakened” form, but more like how broken he had been by the knowledge that he was the one who destroyed  himself, in just about the worst ways possible, and the consequences of which had driven the world mad and eventually came to destroy the lives of people he had been calling friends, and then how he’d come to accept that, yes, this was his responsibility, no one else’s, and he was going to live with it, move forward, and through as much sheer willpower as possible, survive as himself. Hinata’s truly grown a lot from how he had been in the beginning.

Least favourite moment

I’ve already discussed this kind of, but that confrontation with Mitarai at the end was so weak. What a let down it had been. Like, yeah, DR3 was a mess for a long while before, but you could at least somewhat enjoy it were it not for such a weak ending. Hinata saves the day by offering Mitarai to become a figitive alongside other people who have caused the end of the world, and then after saving the world from the lamest threat ever, he takes the blame for the event and lets Naegi be the hero he never was (in this situation at least... seriously SC, stop treating Naegi as the hero when you didn’t even let him do much in this part of the series)

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

Oh, like I’ve said before, that struggle of acceptance of being Izuru kamukura at the same time as being Hinata! Like honestly, he shouldn’t be completely rewarded for choosing talent over everything else- that goes against what his story tells. If talent is not the most important thing about Hinata, then why is it the way he solves everything in the end, pretty much?

We also really needed some more background on Hinata: There are a lot of speculations that Hinata’s parents may be abusive or Neglectful for letting Hinata take a part in the HCP. Is that really how it had been? And how did he come across HPA? What was it like growing up talentless in a world that idolizes talent? Just some basic backstory of things that pushed him into the belief that Talent meant more than his own sense of Self.

And we get a hint of it, but what really happened while Hinata was in the HCP? Like, what was he doing for the months between Episode 3 and him going into the pod?

And on an aside, I want to know what he did to wake the others up? I am 99% certain that Komaeda’s case was completely unique... Komaeda always makes things harder, and AI Kamukura really had to dig deep and go to extremes to wake Komaeda up. I think that AI Kamukura would have had to do less drastic things to wake the others up. How did Hinata choose the design for AI Kamukura anyways? Was this something he worked together on with Alter Ego?

An interesting AU for this character

I suppose one AU I’m curious about is what would happen if he did not lose his memories and emotions in the HCP? Like, he’d find it hard to emote, but at the same time, he still felt empathy, if that makes sense? I wonder if Junko would still be able to use him, if e’d actually end up joining class 77, or whatever else could change.

A crossover

Kingdom Hearts Just kidding XD So actually, I read a fic that I really loved a lot, and it was a TWEWY crossover! Hinata took place of Neku, Komaeda took place of Joshua, Nanami took place of Shiki, and the Kuzuryuus took place of Beat and Rhyme. It was awesome!

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

I’m a really die-hard Koma//Hina///Nami shipper! I mean, for me, it’s more like HinaKomaNami (so centered around Komaeda instead). I feel like I talk way too much about how great I think it is, though, lol. I’ll try to make this shorter? I feel like all of them can provide support to each other in different ways! I like the idea that they still have conflict among themselves, but work together to come to a certain point of understanding. I guess I’ve always liked poly ships more, though. I’m not completely sure why that is, lol.

Other ships?

Koma///Hina will always be my favorite Hinata ship. There is so much complexity to their relationship because of how they met, and because Hinata did like Komaeda, at the very least in a platonic manner. Hinata wanted to trust Komaeda as a friend. The relationship they had in the beginning made it that much harder for Hinata to accept the Komaeda post CH1′s trial... and I do believe that Komaeda’s FTEs could be taken as canon. They were written in such a way that they make sense to happen in canon. And people are always calling it abusive or unhealthy when honestly, it’s not. Komaeda had a reason to act as he did. Was it right? No, but the clues are there that he has difficulty understanding things the way other people do, and his traumatic experiences simply reinforced such thinking.

Hin////aegi and Hinat///sumi are tied for the second Hinata pairings I care a lot about. Hin////aegi, as I’ve said before, just makes me feel really warm inside... it’s a comfort ship. Hin////atsumi I really love a lot because of just how similar him and Natsumi are! Though Hinata keeps to himself much more than Natsumi and doesn’t try to publically antagonize people, Natsumi and him both sare that admiration for people with talent, and instead of accepting themselves as talentless, try their best to be more. They see the system they are in and accept it, but decide they wanted to be on the better side of it. inata in DR3 was only ever allowed to act like how he did in DR2 with Natsumi... he saw her as equal. All of the other students who had given up the desperation to be better, he really did picture them as not worth his time for not understanding how he felt. He was less upfront about it than Natsumi, who openly admits her disdain for those who blindly follow the rules of the Status Quo. Like, these two bring out the truth in each other... and I just simply loved their interactions in Episode 3. Really, it was because of Natsumi and her relationship with Hinata that DR3 had at least one enjoyable episode that I can call my favorite.

BROTP

Hinataxeveryone he knows, pretty much XD Hinata is just such a sweet and loving guy, and he gets along well with most people given time. I love his interactions with his classmates because he can at least be blunt about how weird they are while still entertaining what they do or say. To pick a few that I’d list high, him, Nanami, and Komaeda are still my favorite OT3. Nanami is like his quite cheerleader and Komaeda is the one who pushes him out of his comfort zone a lot. I also really loved his interactions with Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi- They make such a funny trio! All the survivors do, really (but Akane and Sonia don’t get to talk to him quite as much, I think?) Also, I obviously BrOTP him with Naegi and Natsumi! Above reasons for shipping them romantically apply to frienship as well. And for not-survivors, Ibuki and the Ultimate Imposter!!!

NOTP

I’ve sid it previously when talking about kamu///Koma, but I’m also not fond of Hina///Nami. At the very least, I can’t ship these two toggether without Komaeda. Nanami is his courage, but also just as much his escape. DR3 really proved that- she could tell him all about how useless talent really was, and he’d hold on to it and repeat after her simply wishing it was true, but in his mind, he still staunchly rejects what she says because everything else in the world is telling him otherwise. AI Nanami, meanwhile, is better, as in she at least has flaws, but they aren’t obvious to him. She’s pretty much always nice or teasing to him. And then, of course, the ending where she turns up again.... why was she allowed to be his escape? A healthy relationship does not mean constant positive reinforcement... it means actually listening to the problems. You can’t fix every problem by saying that it will get better.

Other ships: I’m not really fond of Hina///miki, but it’s not like I would shirk from it if I saw it. Mikan acts innocent and sweet, but she is willing to hurt  people to et them t stay with her, and willing to hurt herself for the attention. Hinata in her FTEs and island Mode kind of just... accepts it all. Teruteru and Hinata... no thanks, either. Teruteru literally drugs Hinata, even if it was maybe some kind of joke. He was kind of condescending as well in their interactions, so it was just not my cup of tea.

An assortment of headcanons!

Hinata has trouble sleeping sometimes because the memories he has as Izuru, and as the Hajime before the project, and as the Hajime Hinata during the simulation all feel as different as they do as himself. His memories often mix together into uncomfortable messes. He begins logging them to sort himself out sometimes.

Hinata actually does enjoy riding in boas: there are occasional patter changes that aren’t so easily calculated in his head, and especially so i he closes hi seyes. I f he is feeling particularly apathetic and bored, he’ll lock himself in his cabin and try to lose himself to it until he’s able to work with everyone again.

He doesn’t actually like taking lead of the class. He only takes over when needed to show face that he is the leader of Ultimate Despair, or in desperate situations. Otherwise, he tries to make things as equal as possible, splitting up the group in teams in charge of different things (like gathering info on other remnants that linger the world, coming up with confrontations plans, making technology to keep the group safe and capture assailants, finding a way to rehabilize, or in worse-case scenarios, put down remnants.

The change in eye color is not actually real. The red eyes of kamukura and the black hair are merely visuals to us, the player, that something about Hajime is different. Red eyes are a sign of power, black for despair, white for hope. That beautiful heterochromia he has in Hope Arc is more of a sign that he has accepted his past as Ultimate Despair, but holds himself with confidence and will make decisions based on what he, as Hajime Hinata, deems is right.

[suitcasesoffeathers]

I was tagged by @pilotpig and @teeceeart!! Thank you guys so much!! <3

Rules: Answer 11 questions, make 11 of your own, tag 11 people!

I’m gonna put my questions first with tags since THIS IS SO LONG I’M SORRY :’)

I’d like to tag @pilotpig, @teeceeart, @iamapoopmuffin, @sakkigami, @zamashi, @awney, @xnatiix, @carrotcouple, @yaomomochi, @kitanoko, and @the-best-alcoholic-beverage~~ (You don’t have to do this if you don’t want of course!)

My questions:

If you could meet any fictional character in real life, who would it be and why?

If you could magically teleport anywhere (to a real location or fictional location), where would that be and why?

If you were in control of the world for a day, what would you do?

What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

What do you do when you’re bored?

What’s the dumbest injury you’ve ever gotten? (could be from cuts/scrapes to broken limbs, etc.)

Do you have anyone that you really admire/aspire to be like one day? If so, who?

Is something that you really treasure that other people may think is dumb?

What are some positive personality traits that you believe/other people say you have? (no need to be modest ;))

What style do you usually sport clothes-wise?

If you could have a mountain of any food right now, what would it be?

1. What is your favorite soap scent?

Coconut! I love coconut scents~

2. What is the talent of yours that you are most proud of? Please go on and on and on about it!! (and don’t say you have no talents because I know all of you well enough to know that’s not true >:’D)

Mmm...probably drawing because apparently, a lot of you guys like my art~~ <3 Thank you so much for all the support! It really means a lot! <3 I don’t have much to say, so I won’t go on and on lol (plus, I think it’d be boring to read, and it kinda feels wrong—kinda like bragging??)

3. What is your favorite book and why? Or TV show/anime/movie if you don’t like books?

After Ever After by Jordan Sonnenblick because it broke my heart, and Jeffery is totally relatable and lovable. And my favorite anime is Boku no Hero Academia because the plot is very unique (though it may not seem like it since it uses the basic idea of hero school), like the way that the whole story takes an unexpected turn in the first episode ;) (no spoilers lol) And all the main characters are well-thought out, and are really relatable/likeable. They all just seem so human, so I really like that.

4. Which fictional character do you relate to the most? (And why, if you want?)

Oh snap, this is a hard question...I think at first, it was Midoriya from BNHA, because he was just a lame kid, who had dreams that seemed so far out of reach. He was totally unconfident in his own abilities, which I think a lot of people can relate to, and I guess he just seems vulnerable like a normal human. But now, he’s totally epic, and his resolve has long surpassed mine, so I feel less like I can relate to him?? Maybe Bakugou is more relatable now because he has those deep confidence issues, and is constantly trying his best to get better, though sometimes, he takes a step in the wrong direction. I feel like I do that a lot. I always want to improve, so I make stupid mistakes, and end up farther from my goal (like my wrist pain :’)). And then, he has that whole jealous thing/fear of being surpassed with Midoriya, and that’s something that I sometimes feel, though not as strongly and often lol And then with his whole “this happened because of me” around chapter 120 is totally relatable cuz sometimes I just feel like things are my fault even though people say it’s not?? So yeah...I guess Bakugou just has more flaws, and as a person with many flaws, I relate to him LOL

5. Do you have any collections? If so, what do you collect?

I used to collect stickers, though I kinda dropped that...Now I have a ton of stickers for no reason lol

6. What are your top three best personality traits, and what is one thing about your personality that you want to work on?

Top three as in personality traits I like? Or traits I have? I’ll just do like because that’s easier LOL I love someone who’s considerate, understanding, and patient. One thing I’d like to work on is my anxiety…? Or maybe I’d like to be more open?? Or considerate?? Aw, man, it’s hard to choose one. SO YOU GET ALL THESE lol

7. Do you have any pets? If so, what is/are their personality/personalities like?

Yes! I have a dog named Po~~ <3 He’s a total coward, completely skittish around strangers and other dogs, but he’s such a cutey around people he’s comfy with. He loves being scratched, and sometimes even gets your attention by pretending he wants to play (whether it be by jumping on you or making noises so you notice him), so you’ll chase him when he suddenly just lies down and spreads his legs to signify a scratch session lol And he’s just super adorable when he wants to cuddle or comes to greet my family at the front door. <3

8. What is your preferred study method?

I prefer to not study at all. LOL But if I had to, I’d like to have an organized study guide, with a detailed explanation of everything on the test so I can actually understand the material, and not just memorize facts. I’d like to know why I should do certain things in order to come to a conclusion, so I can completely understand and simplify things if necessary. (I usually like a visual/text to help if that’s what you meant LOL)

9. What is the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?

Uhhh...tbh I’m not a very adventurous person...Maybe something like jumping off a ledge a few meters high, or jumping out of a short tree...nothing really extreme...Well, I guess I went to one of those fake rock climbing center things with the colorful rocks, and made it to the top of a super tall wall (with gear of course)...does that count??

10. What are your life goals?

Be happy, healthy, and become a comic book artist/writer with a nice family and nice friends. LOL i don’t have too many goals.

11. What is your favorite part of being on Tumblr?

THE PEOPLE! Tbh, that’s the main reason I stay on tumblr. I’ve met so many lovely people, and made so many amazing friends, so I can’t just leave! Aw man, you guys rock~ <3

 1. Are there any new hobbies or new skills you want to try/learn?

Hmmm...maybe painting with oil paints? I’ve always been curious, though I haven’t really done any research or anything ^^; But aside from art, maybe some sort of exercise?? Lol idk

2. Do you believe in anything supernatural? (if you have stories please share, I find them fun to read)

Um, not really?? I don’t really believe in those things ahaha

3. What’s your favourite historical era and why?

To learn about?? Probably Ancient Egypt because it’s so crazy, the things they used to do...Their religion, culture...just everything lol

4. What is one of the strangest conversations you’ve ever had?

Well, my memory’s terrible, so I just asked @pilotpig, and she gave me an amazing conversation to share:

Me: Hey dude? What’s a strange conversation that I’ve had?

Piggie: *pauses* THIS! BLLLEEEEEEEGGGGHHHH!

5. Any inside jokes (not with me, just in general)?

Yes! I have a ton of inside jokes with @pilotpig! Here’s one example… “HELLOO! OOOOOO-OOOH YEAH YEAH YEAH, YEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!” lol that sounds completely stupid XD though...it is, so...lol idk

6. What quote do you say the most?

Um...maybe “Oh my...oh my...GOODNESS!!!!” —All Might from BNHA or “with the power of youth” —Lee and Gai from Naruto Tbh I don’t usually say quotes, so it’s mostly just stupid things lol

7. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

The power to magically obtain any knowledge instantly so that studying would be super easy, and homework would be a breeze! ...I mean, it’d be helpful in pretty much any situation, so... lol

8. Favourite British drama, Korean drama and/or American drama?

I don’t really watch dramas, but I liked the Korean drama “I Hear Your Voice”!

9. Have you ever been in a situation that felt like you were in a movie?

Yes! So my friend and I had a bit of an argument. (She lied about her grades, and then my other friend and I were speculating whether or not she was lying, but not in a bad way of course...Cuz tbh lying about your grades is totally understandable lol is that bad?) But anyway, I apologized profusely because I really felt bad, and I shouldn’t have talked about her without her knowing, but she was still angry, and so, after class, I was chasing her through a sea of people, trying to talk to her, and make things right, but it was so hard to reach her because she was storming out, and actively trying to avoid me. I called out her name several times until finally I caught up to her, and told her what a great friend she was, and how I didn’t want that mistake to ruin our friendship. She didn’t really accept my apology, and held that against me for the rest of the year, but she eventually forgave me (I think?? yeah...we’re not so close anymore...).

10. Any funny things you did as a kid?

Hmmm, well as a kid, I loved Batman, and so I watched a lot of it. But then, in one episode, I heard the line “So long, suckers!” so I kept repeating that line, and my parents kept telling me not to say it because it was mean LOL (that was when I was 2 to 4 years old?? Idk i don’t really remember XD)

11. Something you’re looking forward to?

Getting over my wrist pain, and drawing freely! ^///^

[theultimatetamer]

Interview with Ilaria Catalani

Monster Allergy Week, Day 7

Free-for-all

And since I had no clue what to do for this day I thought: “Why not an interview?”. So here we are!

For the last day of the Monster Allergy Fandom Week you are going to have two very special and exclusive interviews. The first one could not be with any other than the one and only Ilaria Catalani, to whom I will never be thankful enough for this!

Huge thanks to @shikadora-momo as well for helping me out. This would have never been possible without her.

If you want to read the original interview in Italian, click here.

If you want to read the interview in English, keep reading.

1. You have recently become one of the idols of this fanbase, but some people might still not know who you are exactly. So, who is Ilaria Catalani?

First of all, hello everybody! It’s a pleasure for me to answer these questions. Thank you for allowing me to be here!

I am very surprised to know I have become an “idol” for you guys, ha ha ha! It was unexpected, really!

I’d say it’s time for me to introduce myself properly, then!

I’m a girl born on the seaside 28 years ago, in a city nearby the capital of Italy. I have a crazy passion for cartoon openings, Japanese curry and for mystery and paranormal stories!

I have been drawing basically since always and I had always wished to work as a comic artist… that’s why my studies have always aimed at the artistic field! In fact, now I’m working mostly as a comic designer, but I happen to work as an illustrator or freelancer for private commissions as well!

2. In what other projects can we find your name, be it as an author or as a designer?

As I’ve said before I’m a comic artist / illustrator / freelancer. I have also worked as an inker for the Italian publishing house Edizioni Dentiblù, for their series Zannablù, and always with them I published my first original comic book: Hadez (written by me and Silvia Tidei).

At the moment I’m working on the new issue of Monster Allergy, «The valley of bombos», and also as a designer for the Regal Academy comics (Rainbow).

So for now I’d say these are the main projects in which you can find my name and last name! I hope the list will become longer with time! Ha ha!

3. When did you realize that you wanted to turn your passion into a job and work as an illustrator? How did you get where you are today?

As a kid I absolutely loved anime, I grew up with Kaibutsu-kun, Arale, Dash Kappei, Dragon Ball and Sailor Moon… not to mention all the Disney movies and series that marked my childhood. At first I didn’t understand why I felt so sad at the end of every episode, but with time I realized that melancholy came from the fact that I wanted to know more, see more and turn those stories inside out… So I decided that I, too, wanted to tell a story that would make others feel the same way I felt. At the beginning I thought my future would have been that of a “mere” designer… but then manga arrived in my room and everything started. While my classmates were focused on completely different things, I couldn’t get away from that world I created so I decided to turn this passion of mine into my job, my main path. I studied at the Institute of Art and then I attented comic school in Rome. This way I began my way, which is still evolving!

4. Do you have any advice for those who want to pursue the same career as you?

Everytime I’m asked this question I can only come up with the most trivial answer ever: have fun.

After all, I’m aware there are not many other advices to give, really… it’s a very personal path, a difficult journey that’s not for everybody but if you’re strong and tough enough you can make it. You need to have tons of passion and willpower… these are two essential traits, in my opinion.

5. How did you end up getting involved in this project? Did you know Monster Allergy from before?

Actually, I have a very funny anecdote regarding my first encounter with Monster Allergy.

When I was little I made the same mistake as many others of my generation that grew up surrounded by manga and I only allowed comics signed by Japanese artists on my bookshelf. One day, watching an advert about the first release of Monster Allergy I felt very excited. I noticed the comic had many traits similar to my beloved Japenese comic books but it was made in Italy so, all happy, I rushed to buy the comic, only to find out it was labeled under Disney, so I pinned it in my mind as something that could never be my thing … hahahah I’m a dork!

Truth be told, at the time I couldn’t admit I liked the volume, to this day I believe that, on a graphic level, it’s one of the best comics for young audience I have ever seen… Unfortunately, I never got any deeper into the series aside from the first volume and some random issues that helped me to know more about almost all the characters. But I believe that, at this point, I’m obliged to recover the whole series! Right?

About my involment; I was offered to do it and I couldn’t have been any happier since I have wanted to work with the authors of the series for a long time. That’s it! :D

6. How has it been working with Walter Baiamonte? Did you decide it or was it the publishing house?

This is the very first project, aside from little works, that I do with Walter… Even if I know him very well in many other aspects since we share our daily life. However I knew Walter since before being workmates and I have always thought he is a great comic artist / designer / colorist… I was often “jealous” of his natural talent for crazy and rad things! It makes me realize that I still have a lot to learn and reminds me of how lazy I am! Ahhh!

The decision to have him as the colorist for this issue of Monster Allergy was made by the authors of the series but I can only thank them for it, they made it all even more fun for me than it was already!

7. How do you feel about working on Monster Allergy in general?  What do you think was the biggest challenge or setback that you had to face while designing the new issue?

I feel… euphoric and scared in equal measure, actually!

Euphoric because, in fact, I’m a huge fan of stories for the young audience (Hadez belongs to that genre, even if it’s not an adventurous type of story like Monster Allergy)… Scared because this is a HUGE series with lots of fans and affectionate people and I have the hard task to make them all happy with my drawings and narration!

There haven’t been any huge obstacles really. At first it was difficult to get in gear with this comic because, as I said before, I had the sudden weight and responsibility to do a great job… However you have to know that I’m doing my best!

8. Which character have you enjoyed drawing the most and why? And the least?

There’s no character I liked the least to draw, they’re all very different so none of them was boring, on the contrary! Every character gave me a spark to create different mimics and give them an appropriate behavior according to their personalities!

Actually, the characters I loved drawing the most were two: Timothy and the new character, the kid… whom I can’t reveal a thing about, not even the name :P He he he, I’m evil!

Anyway Timothy is a Sphynx and I think Sphynx are beautiful cats. Moreover, he always looks grumpy and serious… It’s so much fun drawing his tiny spiky forms…! About the other character, well, professional quirk… I have a soft spot for very young characters, they’re always extremely fun to draw and animate in the panels!

9. Risky question: is it true that we are going to find some characters of Hadez hidden in the panels?

This is when I need to put on a mask and sunglasses to avoid being recognized and play dumb *cough* *cough*.

Anyway yes, I love easter eggs and I like to include characters of mine or from my friends (sometimes even sneaking my friends in directly) in the pages of projects I’m working on, if I have the chance to… Sometimes I do it simply because it’s fun… other times because I have no idea what the background characters look like, so I ease my job drawing something I already know!

10. If you were given the offer to work on any of the upcoming chapters would you take it?

If I received an offer like that I would absolutely accept. I felt very comfortable working on this story and I think that in many ways it made me grew even more as designer… So, even though I doubt it’ll happen, I’d say yes!

11. To finish with, do you have any message for the fans that are going to read this?

I have never been a faithful follower of your favorite series but, in my own way, I loved it while drawing it and this gave me a boost to be curious and learn more about it… So, I truly hope that the new chapter will be of your liking as much as it has been for me. It’s been wonderfully fun and I hope I have been able to do justice to your beloved characters!

Thank you very much for this interview! <3

[wulfies-corner]

Black Eyes (Demon!V/Kim Taehyung x Reader) AU 1

A hunter family, plus a demonic curse, plus two lovesick teenagers on opposite sides of a secret war. One maths equation one might not want to answer.

It wasn’t long after that when you finally realised you had clumsily stumbled into the lives of an entire nest of demons.

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten]

~

There are moments in life where you wished you would never have to talk to anyone in order to get by. While those moments of thought are completely irrational and impossible, wishing and imagining that they were real often got you through the day. You were barely surviving as it is, stunned and a little lost that your father actually allowed you to stay enrolled at this school when you asked if you could finish the 12th grade. A part of you didn’t really want to, but it was better than living a life on the road and doing things that only worsened your mental state. Those completely irrational thoughts kept you grounded for the most part, but as of right now, you weren’t exactly sure it was working at all.

4th-period biology was a class you were interested in taking at first, considering the background you had with bodies and other things to do with human nature (among other things). The only problem was that you were beyond squeamish and didn’t take into account the fact that you had to combine experiments on dead things with communicating with other human beings when you signed up. So here you are, wishing that you had dropped this class while you still could, walking up to the crowd of seven of your classmates standing around a black lab table at the right side of your biology classroom.

“Hey, um… I know you guys already have seven members, but is it okay if I join your group?” You poked your fingers together nervously as you observed the boys. Along with your constant wish of never having to communicate with anyone at all, your social skills were lacking. Especially around people you found attractive.

Boy, were all seven of them attractive. All of them were smooth skinned, sun-kissed, god-given marvels that you could barely approach without feeling faint. They were tall, slenderly muscular and relatively kind people, from what you’ve seen of them. One stood out from the rest, medium-sized and slightly younger than some of the others. He donned a boxy smile and thin-rimmed, round glasses. You looked away when he caught your eye. You barely caught sight of a gleam of black as his eyes met yours. You ignored it and blamed your seeing things on an anxious mind.

“Sure, why not?” The tallest boy waved you over to him, urging you to put on your safety goggles. “It’s easy, anyway.” You moved in between the tallest boy, who you knew vaguely as Namjoon - the biology class’s resident genius - and Taehyung. While you were awkward around him and could never make full eye contact with him, he was kind and quite friendly toward you. He had a 4-D personality and his unique smile never failed to make you feel at ease. You were lucky that he was at least here, along with your cooking class in 5th period.

You knew vaguely who all the boys were, as they were popular among your year of students. They were prodigies, extremely talented and undeniably attractive. You obviously weren’t the first girl to notice it, but none of them ever seemed to have a girlfriend.

“This is the… enzyme lab, right?” You ask, taking up your notebook and flipping to the right table, trying not to make eye contact with any of the other boys that were currently eyeing you up and down. They all seemed fixated on you, which made you even more nervous than you felt before you approached them.

“Yeah. Come on, we’re about to soak the first paper disc,” Namjoon says, picking up a pair of elongated tweezers.

It took nearly all of your willpower to not puke where you stood. This whole lab was completely and utterly disgusting. In order to observe how enzymes separate Hydrogen Peroxide into Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide, the class had to separate phials of crushed, raw beef liver into three different water baths; one in ice water, another in room temperature water, and finally one in hot water. Then, soak a small paper disc in the liver, put the disc into a phial of Hydrogen Peroxide, and see how long it took for Oxygen bubbles to form and cause the disc to float to the top of the phial.

The lab was rather easy to perform, especially with so many people in one group, but the smell of raw liver didn’t exactly help your case. You flinched at contact on your back, looking up from your notebook to see Taehyung smiling down at you sympathetically.

“Are you okay?” He asked. It took you longer than you had hoped to think of a response that registered as more than a pained whine.

“Kind of. I mean… this isn’t exactly my strong suit,” you try to smile back until you see Namjoon lifting up the paper disc, unfortunately taking a rather large, bloody vein up with it. You gag. The two shortest boys, Jimin and Yoongi, who were standing across from you, looked you over with sympathy.

“Come on, you can move away from it. Here, I’ll take your spot.” Taehyung took a gentle hold of your shoulders and switched spots with you. Now you were in between him and Hoseok, the one that always had a cheerful, sunshine-and-rainbows type attitude toward literally everything, even a disgusting enzyme lab such as this. He had a timer loaded up onto his phone, and you assumed he was the one doing the timing. You only stood there, stiff as a board, trying to keep yourself composed. You recorded the times for the group but hardly did much else. At the end of class, everyone turned to clean up except for you and Taehyung.

“Are you still feeling sick?” Taehyung asked, patting your shoulder gently. “I should remind you that we cook next period.”

You looked up at him. “I can hardly move right now, let alone cook.”

“Come on, then… I’ll sit with you and walk you to next class when the bell rings. I’ll tell Ms C that you’re too woozy to cook today.”

“I really wished that I didn’t exist right now,” you whine. Taehyung only chuckled at you.

“It’s about to get worse… we still have to do the lab work.”

You groan in response. “Do we have a work period on Monday?”

“Nope,” Hoseok chimed in, moving past you with one of the liver phials, the smell causing you to gag again.

“I didn’t know you were this squeamish,” Taehyung commented as he rubbed at the small of your back. It soothed you, but you didn’t feel any less nauseous.

“Why do you think I always make you handle the meat during cooking days?” You ask, looking up at him and projecting the most sarcastic expression you could conjure. You walked back to your desk, pressing your palms against the wood and leaning down to close your eyes and think of something else.

“Touche,” Taehyung complied. He returned to his desk, packing up his backpack before moving back toward you, stuffing your binder inside your own backpack and helping you put it on. “So… you’re telling me that you’re a vegetarian? I’ve seen you stuff your face with those ham sandwiches we made a couple weeks back.”

“Of course I’m not a vegetarian, dumbo! I just don’t like seeing raw meats. Or touching them. Or cutting them. Or seeing blood.” You groan at the thought of that bloody vein as the bell rang, you and Taehyung separating from the 6-man horde of his friends with a small wave.

“Interesting. And you said you wanted to be… what now? A doctor, right?” Taehyung asked. You weren’t looking at him, but you could still see the smirk gracing his lips. You pout.

“Oh.. shut up!”

That moment was when you realised you had never been so comfortable socialising with another person. To tell the truth, this was the first school you had stayed at for longer than a few weeks or a month. Your father was a hunter. A… special type of hunter. The job required constant moves around the country, and you had spent most of your life in the backseat of a car and in the beds of cheap motels. You never had enough time to truly make friends, no matter how much you wanted to at the start.

Instead of spending your time at the park, you grew up learning to line the windows and doors of any place with salt before going to bed, drawing devil’s traps under the doormat and on the ceiling over your bed, and arming yourself with a silver dagger. At age 5, instead of playing with toy dolls and hot wheel cars, you learned how to shoot a small pistol. At age 10, instead of wobbling around in high heels too big for your feet, you could shoot someone right between the eyes 5 buildings away with a sniper rifle. At age 13, instead of confessing to your first crush, you had mercilessly killed a demon, along with the person they were possessing.

Ever since that day, you were a recluse. You were constantly having nightmares,  episodes of PTSD and sometimes even hallucinations. You had no friends and refused to make one, even if you could laugh along with the people in your 5th-period cooking group. That was the only time of day when you actually opened your mouth to speak, fearing that if you let yourself go too far, everything would spill out like opening floodgates. You being able to talk at all was a miracle, and the fact that you could openly talk to Taehyung outside of class just now was on a completely different level of impossible. Yet, here you were, talking and laughing with him as if you were letting yourself be a normal teenager. It felt wrong.

~

“Do you want me to walk you home? You’re looking paler by the minute and I won’t be able to stand by and be guilt free if you pass out and die walking by yourself,” Taehyung added as the two of you stayed after the bell to wash dishes, as usual. “We also still have to do the lab write-up.”

You looked over at him, hesitant. You would have to work with him in the lab either way. “Thank you, um… that would be nice if it isn't too much trouble.” You looked back at the dish you were washing for a minute. “On second thought…”

“What is it?” He asked, moving to put a bowl away. You remembered how decked out your house was with devil’s traps, newspapers of hunt leads, historical textbooks, loose research papers, salt and other hunter-esque things, including your basement, which was probably more well-equipped than a military base. It would be incredibly off-putting to anyone that didn’t even know that your type of hunter existed. Your home was definitely not designed with house guests in mind. It wasn’t even designed to be a home when it was built.

“Would it be okay with your parents if I went to your house instead? My place looks like a tornado ripped it a new one,” you mumble. Taehyung chuckled at your response.

“I’m somewhat of a troubled kid, so I just live with the guys. They won’t care if you come over. They’ll probably mooch the answers for the lab off of us, though.” Taehyung grinned at you.

“That’s fine with me. You guys let me join your group in the first place.”

The walk to Taehyung’s place was nice. The two of you joked around, talked about his interests, and even stopped to pet a cat that was walking on the grass of a lawn by the house you two passed at the end of one of the streets. This… strange feeling in your chest was prominent every time the two of you looked at each other, smiled in the other’s direction, or laughed at a joke. As soon as you saw yourself giving in, you had to back away from it. Creating awkward silences, refusing to answer a question or something along those lines in order to push him away. No matter how drawn you were to Taehyung, and how comfortable you felt yourself getting, you couldn’t let him be your friend. You couldn’t get close to him. Not after what you’ve done. Not after what you’ve seen.

“Here we are,” Taehyung chimed as the two of you approached a complex of townhouses. Each house looked thin and relatively small, but they were well decorated with burgundy bricks and white window frames, most likely offsetting the size with attractive architecture.

Taehyung led you inside the complex and you walked down the small lane toward the back. The furthest house at the end of the complex was where you figured you were heading, despite the lawn of the house looking much better-taken care of than you would have expected for a house lived in by seven teenage boys.

“Home sweet home!” Taehyung smiled at you as he pulled his key chain from his backpack, promptly unlocking the door. You smile faintly back at him but look away when the pinch in your chest returned. You stayed silent as the two of you stepped inside and shrugged off your backpacks.

“I'm back!” Taehyung called into the empty front hall. You looked around at the spotless house. The walls were painted white and red, creating a mostly modern feel. The hallway leads into the living room, containing a cream L-shaped couch accompanied by a small side table with a circular lamp, a glass coffee table and a small flat screen television pinned up on the wall created by the staircase to your left. The kitchen, you assumed, was to your right, but it was blocked off by a wall and a sliding white door. The room itself was illuminated brightly by the sliding patio doors across from you and Taehyung, the white curtains pulled back to let the sun shine through.

The kitchen door slid open and Jin stepped through. He was wearing a white apron over top his clothes, and dark blue oven mitts over his hands. A smile spread across his face as he saw you, walking toward you and Taehyung, slipping off the oven mitts. You waved faintly at him, taking in the smell of food that followed him out from the kitchen.

“Hello, (Y/N),” Jin greeted. “It's nice to see you again,” he commented cheerfully.

“Uh, yeah. It's nice to see you too, Jin.” You smile back, narrowly avoiding eye contact with him. In your head, another flick of black appeared over Jin's eyes. You dug your index nail into the palm of your hand to snap out of any illusions you were beginning to see again.

Jin’s warm expression toward you left you at ease, even if it was just a little bit, masking the tense anxiousness that had been building since your head is making you see demon eyes again. You sigh inwardly, disappointed that your pills seemed to no longer work. “Everyone’s upstairs working on the lab write-up. You're welcome to stay for dinner if you’d like.”

You don an expression of surprise. You hadn't expected him to invite you to stay for dinner. You wanted to tell him 'no', to say that you had to go home after you finished the lab, but there would be absolutely no benefit to your denying him. You would go home to a crappy, junk-food-filled dinner if you even ate at all. You would be in your barren house by yourself, go to bed unfulfilled and probably hungry. Besides, it wasn’t in you to be rude, especially if people had been nothing but kind to you.

“Sure, I’d like that.” You pulled off your shoes, watching as Jin's expression lit up even more in excitement. He bounded back into the kitchen through the sliding door with seemingly renewed fervour.

“You’re going to love Jin’s cooking,” Taehyung praised, taking off his own sneakers. You could only nod in response, replying with a meek 'hm'. Taehyung grabbed his notebook from his backpack, leading you upstairs when you promptly grabbed yours. The hallway on the second floor was extremely thin, and lead off into two different bedrooms and what looked to be a bathroom at the end of the hall. It was equally as spotless as the first floor, coloured fully in deep red. The cleanliness of this house was impeccable, if not a little bit suspicious.

“Your house is so much nicer than mine,” you comment absentmindedly as you looked over your surroundings. “Aw, I doubt that,” Taehyung replies. “Jin is just over-obsessive. Cleanliness doesn’t make a house a home.”

“I guess not. Still, your house wins over mine.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Taehyung’s boxy smile reappeared. You had no idea how to respond to that. There would be no way that he could see the inside of your house, and the thought of his repulsion somehow made you nervous. While you spent all of this time trying to reject Taehyung, you were afraid of being rejected by him. You could only look away from him, waiting to take the lead into the right bedroom.

Taehyung led you into the room closest to the staircase. Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, Yoongi and Jungkook were spread out on the floor with their notes, looking up and waving at you once you entered the room behind Taehyung.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Jungkook greeted with a smile. You sat down between him and Taehyung, smiling back at Jungkook and mumbling a small ‘hi’ in return.

“We’ve already filled out the chart. You can copy us, if you’d like,” Namjoon passed you his table, already neatly filled out with the times you recorded and the differences between each water bath temperature.

“Um, thanks.”

The night progressed similarly to the first interaction you had. You were awkward, often unsure of what to say and honestly uncomfortable with how many people you were surrounded by at one time. The tight feeling of nervousness pulsed through your chest non-stop, and sitting down with them for dinner (which you had to admit was the most delicious and nourishing meal you’ve had since before your mother died) was equally as nerve wracking.

“Hey, are you alright?” Taehyung asked as you wolfed down your food. It had been so long since you had eaten something other than take-out Chinese food and hungry man TV dinners. Your father was almost never home and you never really learned to cook for yourself, so you had to rely on other things to eat if you ate at all. “You’re eating as if you hadn’t seen a scrap in weeks.” You look up from your plate, chewing and swallowing hastily as you noticed seven pairs of eyes locked on you. Your eyes went wide and you instinctively curled up in your chair. “Hey, hey! It’s alright,” Jin reassured, holding up a hand to try and calm you down. “We’re not making fun of you. We just care.”

‘Why?’ The thought ran through your head. Why should they care?

“Um…” Your eyes pass over each of the boys. All of them still looked surprised at how fast you were eating, but all of them had a reassuring smile painted on their faces, especially Taehyung, who even moved to pass you the bowl of steaming vegetables so you could pile more onto your plate.

“You don’t have to explain it. Just enjoy it. You can ask for seconds anytime you’d like,” Jin states, and everyone nods in agreement in the seconds following.

You had never felt so accepted, nor welcomed. You could no longer tell if it was a feeling you wanted or not. The guilt that still had its grip on your heart kept you in the mindset that you didn’t deserve it. Would they still care about you if they found out the truth about you? Would they pat you on the back and help you through things that made you squeamish if they knew? Would they welcome you into their home? Would they be disgusted by you?

Those thoughts haunted you as Taehyung walked you home that night. When you and Taehyung reached the gravel pathway to the farmhouse you called home, it felt a little hard to believe that you were actually going to bed with a full stomach.

"Thanks for working on the lab with me," you say once you reached the front door to your house. "It's no problem," Taehyung replied with a smile. "It's getting late, though. I should be going home."

"Okay," you say. You reach into your backpack for your house key, watching Taehyung turn around and start walking back down the path. "Wait!" A thought pops into your head and you shout after him without thinking.

"What is it?" He asks.

"Um, can I have your number? I want you to text me when you get home so I know you're safe," you mumble, barely able to form a proper sentence.

"Of course. Only if I can have yours too. I'm glad you care."

You're lucky that it was dark outside as you and Taehyung exchanged phone numbers, as the dusk hid your heated cheeks. You dig your nails into your palms again as you step inside your house a few minutes later. You shouldn't be feeling this way.

Next: Part Two

[oumakokichi]

What are your thoughts on Saiouma as a ship? I don't particularly like it because Ouma has to suffer with an unrequited love for a detective who doesn't come around to his way of thinking before he d i e s and also thought of him as a villain goddamn it saihara

Haha, I’m actually a pretty avid saiouma shipper—it’s myfavorite ship of any DR game, really. It’s one of those things where I canunderstand why it didn’t work out because of the problems that arise in canon,but I can’t help being particularly invested in all the potential it could havehad under different circumstances.

Saihara’s lack of understanding can be frustrating,certainly, but it’s also something that’s necessary from a plot perspective.Kodaka so obviously wanted to craft Ouma into a “catbox” character, someonewhose intentions and motivations were kept secret to the end, in order to giveplayers a reason to go back and replay the game and try to pick up hints theymight not have noticed before.

Ouma himself wanted to remain an enigma to the very end. It’snot entirely Saihara’s fault that he couldn’t crack the “mystey” that Ouma was,when Ouma himself was making it so intentionally difficult for him.

Not only that but I think I’m used to just a whole differentlevel of frustratingly incompetent and dense protagonists thanks to Umineko.Umineko is a very similar work tondrv3; both are extremely meta, both deal with the issue of finding a middleground between “gentle lies” and “painful truths,” and both feature a centralcharacter who sets themselves up to be the “evil villain” despite actually havinggood intentions at heart.

But Umineko’s protagonist, Battler, is so… so much morefrustrating to deal with than Saihara. In my opinion, anyway. There’s also sortof an issue I have with Battler’s character being written super inconsistentlyacross 8 different episodes, where Saihara doesn’t suffer from that same issuesince he’s only in the one game.

Like Battler’s struggle to understand Beato and her game,Saihara doesn’t quite realize what Ouma was really like or what he was tryingto tell him about “lies” and “fiction” until it’s far too late—but unlikeBattler, there’s a whole lot less trading of insults and berating Ouma onSaihara’s end. Saihara does genuinely try to be patient with Ouma, up untilChapter 4. Saihara’s patience reaches its end there; in my opinion, he’s completely in the right for putting hisfoot down.

Ouma crossed a line with his behavior, and was pushing waytoo hard to try and make Saihara ally with him. It’s a fact that Saihara couldn’tafford to trust everyone blindly, that his job as the detective required him todoubt and suspect people. But it’s also a fact that Ouma was at the extreme endof paranoia, moreso in Chapter 4 after his tentative attempt at forging analliance was crushed so thoroughly by Miu’s attempt to kill him. Ouma was acynic and was absolutely ruthless in his attempt to teach the group that the “truth”they all wanted so badly was a horrible, awful thing. Saihara not standing forthat kind of behavior and telling Ouma off for it at the end of the chapter 4trial is well-deserved, because Ouma neededthat wake-up call.

It is, of course, more frustrating after that point thatSaihara doesn’t really spend a lot of time dwelling on Ouma or the things hesaid to him in Chapter 4 after they more than find enough evidence to provethat Ouma was never actually evil—that he, in fact, was the person mostresponsible for keeping them all alive and that he sacrificed himself for theirsakes when he didn’t have to.

But again, I attribute that to Kodaka’s attempt to keep Ouma’s“catbox” intact; if Saihara had gone pondering Ouma’s character too much andrevealed everything about him by Chapter 6, there’d be almost no incentive forthe player to go back and replay the game themselves to figure things out.Ndrv3 is a game that challenges its players to think, speculate, and theorizeas much as they can. While I don’t doubt Kodaka will probably hand out ananswer sheet of sorts in the future to the questions we have now, it’s clearthat he wants us all to stew on things for the time being. And that’d beimpossible with our detective spilling the beans and handing the answer out ona silver platter.

I’m satisfied that at the very end, I think Saihara reallydid, truly understand Ouma as a person. The answer he reaches, about how there’sno “correct answer” between truth and lies, about how lies can be used to helpand comfort people in the same way that the truth can be used to hurt people,is exactly what Ouma wanted them all to realize so much. Lies were Ouma’s ownsource of comfort, something he had to rely on because he couldn’t trust almostanything about himself or take anything at all for a fact.

Saihara failed to grasp that worldview at first, because hisentire character is one concerned with pursuing the truth. A detective’s rolein any mystery, ever, is to expose the truth in its entirety. But this isexactly what causes Saihara so much fear and hesitation. He has a naturalcuriosity and a genuine, honest-to-god talent for finding the truth. But healso wants to bury his head in the sand until everything goes away. He doesn’twant to be responsible for exposing people’s secrets, but he also doesn’tbelieve that lying is the answer either—until the end when he realizes theequal value that both lies and truths hold. His character development isextremely tied to the lessons Ouma teaches him, both in the main plot and inhis FTEs.

I really love saiouma as a ship because I feel like thepotential for a deeper understanding and acceptance of one another was alwaysthere—it’s just not something permitted by the main plot. Between the fact thatOuma was deeply paranoid and distrustful thanks to the killing game, and thefact that Saihara was far too hesitant and weak to come to a full understandingof things until much later, there were too many factors preventing Ouma fromever really genuinely reaching out, or letting himself be reached out to.

But that’s exactly why his prison mode ending is sosatisfying. Without the killing ever actually starting up, Ouma’s paranoiasubsides noticeably. He’s still cautious, still inclined to doubt and distrust—buthe’s not nearly as unshakable in his cynicism. He doesn’t know any of them, butsince no one actually becomes a murderer, he’s okay with letting his guarddown, even if it’s just slightly.

When Saihara expresses genuine interest in “getting to knowthe real him” by his final prison mode event, Ouma actually allows him to reach out, and says thathe wants Saihara to “stay by his side” even after they leave the school. And Saiharathinks to himself that even if Ouma still needs to rely on lies, because that’sthe kind of person he is, he’s sure that Ouma “can’t lie about the warmth ofhis hand.” He has a whole inner monologue about wanting to hold Ouma’s hand sothat he won’t need to lie as much, basically.

And it’s really sweet and genuinely touching. There is somuch hand imagery between the two of them, so much talk about reaching out andbeing reached out to. In the main plot of ndrv3, reaching out was animpossibility, but it could work so well under other, better circumstances, inmy opinion anyway.

Anyway, this is all just my take on it. Saiouma might not beeveryone’s preference as a ship, but it’s still one of my favorites personally!Reading Umineko and seeing Beato’s love for Battler constantly hinted andalluded to long before it was actually revealed in later episodes reminded mequite a lot of the ways in which Ouma acts around Saihara before dropping theconfession reveal in Chapter 4, so that probably contributed quite a bit to myenjoyment of it. I’d still highly recommend reading Umineko to anyone whoenjoyed ndrv3, actually.

Ouma’s feelings for Saihara are an important part of hischaracter as a whole, contributing both to his motivations to help him grow anddevelop as a person, as well as his frustration, both at Saihara’s failure tounderstand his hints all the time and at himself for letting his emotions getin the way of his logic. It’s okay if people do or don’t want to interpretSaihara as potentially reciprocating those emotions under other circumstances—Ijust find their dynamic incredibly interesting, and the potential forimprovement and growth on both sides is something I really like in my ships.

Thank you for asking, anon!

[likeaguardianangel-archive-blog]

send an ask: get to know your author: Answer them all please :D

omg xD honestly. why this? i can’t haha.

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Not that I know of? I feel like I get the urges to write certain subjects and then I look around eagerly and hope that someone will like it enough to write it with me. I haven’t purposely held off on too much. Although I guess I do hold of on M/F couples with Barry sometimes, though it’s not really about the story and more about what I’ve said in #2.

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Oh god. I get embarrassed so easily. I’m probably most embarrassed by any smut I’ve written. Because I always feel like such an impostor. I know so little about it in truth, haha. I’m always like ‘oh god, I am this virgin over here who really doesn’t know how that shit feels’ and then like dramatically flop on my bed or something. So I guess those types of things I get embarrassed by easiest, as I am the kind of person who can write words like dick or cock or whatever, but saying it aloud gets me all flustered. It’s truly embarrassing.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Usually I just write from what I read first, the first paragraph and go from there. Sometimes though, if my rp partner said such a good line that my muse was like ‘omg I have to say /this/’ then I start from there and work my way through the post backwards. But that doesn’t happen super often. Usually it’s just the first to last strategy.

4) favorite character you’ve written

I think that’s a tough choice. Like, I’ve written so many characters, and I’ve loved them all for very different reasons. But since I’ve been missing this one particular character lately, I’m going to say him: Jacques Crevette. He was originally a character from a Disney RPG, a personified version of the shrimp from finding nemo. I know, you’re probably looking at me right now like: why such an obscure character?? The thing is, they had an awesome skeleton for this character, featuring the ability to heal via touch, and I thought that was so so fascinating. It’s really funny, because the skeleton originally said this character would be aloof etc., but my muse sort of became its own thing. A bouncy, energetic, people loving character that liked to sing when he was happy, but also sing when he was having a tough time. He was an interesting muse. I think the fact is he was so weird, and to me it feels I developed that character from the ground up and I am incredibly proud of him. I miss him something fierce.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Well, I was surprised that I ended up writing Barry. For a while there I really didn’t think I would be doing that. But I also think...okay so there was this intense character in this fandom I was in (les mis), and i would have the desire to write him (Enjolras), but I was so so so incredibly intimidated by the idea of writing him. Like, I was sure that my take on him would be so terrible and it would end up being this horrible disaster. Honestly, a lot of muses I took up from the les mis fandom were like that. I lack confidence sometimes. It’s how I am.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

I’m not sure. I try not to go back and look too often because I tend to be pretty self-conscious about what I’ve written. I have anxiety so it’s not very productive for me to take a look at what flaws I can find. I know what I want to do better with (description), and for me that is more than enough.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

Wellll. I say I write, but I can never say what I write or really who I write with. My mom used to put down my rping a lot when I was growing up, so I’ve learned to just...keep what I write to myself, even when I’m really excited about what I’ve been writing. No one really knows that I rp and that’s kind of how I think it’ll stay tbh.

8) favorite genre to write

Oh man. I love a little bit of the romantic comedy sorts of elements, but also angst/drama. Fantasy is always fun (dragons guys. Dragons are the fucking best). Really anything that is missing a bit of realism is great. I mean come on guys, I write The Flash. I love the superpowers and the ridiculousness in some ways.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Sometimes I go to Netflix and I do a rewatch of the Flash. Usually it’s like the sad episodes where Barry cries (admit it: he’s beautiful when he cries), but sometimes it’s episodes like the Duet one which is just fun. So fun. And then other times if it doesn’t need that much of a push, just my own motivation, I pull up my spotify playlist for Barry and I listen and let the words that I think fit him wash over me and help me get writing.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I can do either one. Honestly I write with my family in the living room at times, and others I write while I’m in my room alone. Really that doesn’t matter to me as long as no one invades my personal space with it.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

I think I’ve improved some of my writing of dialogue? Honestly, Barry is such a talkative character, it’s really been a focus for me to work on intonation and emphasizing certain words based on how he’s feeling. So I think that I’ve gotten a bit better with that? I don’t know, that’s the best I can come up with.

12) your weaknesses as an author

Dear god I mean....I think I write too much in my character’s thoughts and not enough of actions or what’s going on at that same time. Honestly that’s what’s been bothering me the most. I’ve been trying to improve that but we’ll see how that goes.

13) your strengths as an author

Ummm....that I’m willing to go in so many different directions? Idk that I can write decent dialogue, and I think that the characters I do choose to actually put out there have such strong personalities. I might struggle in description, but I do make up for it with their thoughts and what I think would impact them the most. Is that a strength? I feel like it is.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

I make playlists for muses as a whole. So I have a Barry Allen playlist, a Steve Rogers playlist, etc. And then I have a couple of ship playlists and that kind of thing. I don’t ever base it on a thread, but I do on characters and their relationships.

15) why did you start writing?

Well my friend introduced me to an rp thing when I was like...11? at the time I was god awful, but I really enjoyed it and I would see some talented writers who were doing so much more at the time, more in depth, paragraphs and all and I wanted to be able to get to that point. I am, perhaps on occasion competitive for the weirdest reasons. The first few things of writing were like horse based or hp based, but I think when I got to HP stuff, I wanted to be able to write things that the books or movies just didn’t cover. I wanted to be able to put voice to things that could have happened but didn’t.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Haunt me? Oh god yes. I did a horrible, truly horrible take on Lucifer from SPN. I just...the directions I went make me really mad at myself. Like just...no. no no no no no. I’m scarred just thinking about this. Ugh god help me but I was so fixated on a thing back then. I refuse to be like that. Yikes. Just. Yeah. Lucifer. Even thinking it is embarrassing, so I just don’t want to go any further in detail there.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

I would tell myself not to push myself before I was ready. Not to throw myself in the adult world before I really knew what I was doing. When I was thirteen I was already writing smut and stuff which is just...I shouldn’t have. You see the stuff about illegal and all now, but nobody was making a big deal out of it at the time. But I think I could have benefited just...not doing that until I for sure was ready.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Ummm. I’m not sure? I think maybe the Percy Jackson books a little bit in terms of the snarky little thought process of the character and the way that’s done. Ummm....I don’t really know how to describe my writing style so I’m not sure if certain works did influence me like that. There’s that novel the Things They Carried which has a unique way of describing things and thinking. Maybe something from there, Harry Potter without a doubt as that is a huge influence. Maybe some Tolkien? Eragon? I don’t know man.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Well, if it’s really complex I end up opening a word doc, as I have a super organized rp partner who did it long before I did. And since they influenced me there, I now write up timelines if I feel like I need to remember/mark it down. I honestly haven’t done that with anything on here yet. I probably should. But you know. Whatever. The point is yes. Google docs if I need to organize things.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

It depends on the day and the mood. Sometimes I can just sit down and whack out multiple replies and keep at it. Other times I write one or two and then say ‘good job Lena, you done enough today’ and go read. It really depends.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

I cringe. Honestly that’s just the way I am. I can’t look back on stuff too often for that reason.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Yeah. I can’t write anything about space/outer space or throw any of my muses in that sort of setting. I also can’t handle other people writing excessively detailed gore? It’s like, if I don’t have the control on what gore it is and how it’s done I just...I feel sick and I can’t do it and I overthink about it. Like one time another writer killed off my muse’s husband, and the way they did it (without consulting me on that particular way of dying) well it had my nauseous for weeks. I think most anything else I can write if we talk about it, but those two things are iffy for me.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I feel like my brief tenure in an apartment has helped me a little in context of thinking of how some of my muses would live etc. Before that I only had the vaguest idea of how people handle apartment living. Haha. I know, it’s helpful to experience shit. I can’t think of much else.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Yes. Actually for a thread me and @keeperoftheliars were doing, or are still doing I think technically. I like...look. The reason I originally wasn’t going to do Barry is cause I don’t science. I feel kind of bad for leaving the science out a lot of times but so does the show. They often forget to demonstrate Smart Barry who is in fact a CSI etc. Anyway, I’m digressing, but Barry had to talk about fingerprinting criminals, and to my immense displeasure, I did research what would happen if people damaged their fingerprints in often gruesome ways and what would be done about that. Unpleasant. For my writing of Steve Rogers, I read up a lot on the different illnesses that he had, on how he would have lived in the past, in order to understand what things he might still do today, out of habit, or out of respect for that time period. Yeah, I definitely research where I can on subjects I don’t fully grasp.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

(okay so this is a few paragraphs, but i really really enjoyed this starter)

As was becoming the frustrating norm, Barry just wasn’t fast enough. Zoom had an insane strength to him, only bolstered by Barry’s own speed. The loss of his father had caused something in him to shatter. The hatred towards the other speedster fueled Barry, but as he chased the other through his city, he knew that that hatred alone wouldn’t help him stop the guy. But it pushed him forward anyway.

Barry had shut off his coms half an hour into this ridiculous race with Zoom. He knew what his friends and family wanted. They wanted to work together to handle him. But Barry had lost enough in this fight to want them to have nothing to do with it. The man had been monstrous enough to kill Barry’s father right in front of him. He likely wouldn’t stop to think about his feelings with anyone else important to him.

He couldn’t watch another person he loved die. And, admittedly, he was still slightly bitter about the fact that his friends had locked him in the pipeline to keep him from going after Zoom. He kept running, twisting past cars and trees and chasing after Zoom, always chasing. He had never had a moment where he had come close to equaling the other’s speed.

At some point though, it seemed Zoom tired of simply having Barry chase him around, and before Barry knew it, the other darted out towards the speedster. catching him completely by surprise, the other speedster’s punch hitting him in the stomach and sending him flying backwards. The lucky thing: he didn’t crash into any cars or civilians. The unlucky: he collided with a very solid wall, not having had the time to ready himself to phase through it as he could have.

Everything ached. And Zoom was there a moment later, grabbing him by his throat and lifting him up, seemingly delighted by the power he held over Barry. Barry managed to get a few hits in, and found them running again, though this time it barely went another block before he was sprawled on the ground in the park. He groaned, forcing himself to his feet as he tried to prepare himself for the next blow.

[photokatsu]

Magical Grand Circus of Dreams Scenario Ep 1-6

Episode 1

Kaede: Uhhh...Did she say it was around here? I think this is where Headmistress Orihime told me to go, but...Nobody's here yet, huh. All right! Then...Might as well practice some of my new magic...♪

Kii: Oh my, oh my!? It's Kaede-chan~!!

Kaede: Wow, Kii!! Fancy meeting you here! Are you waiting for someone, too?

Kii: Yeah! Headmistress Tiara told me to meet someone here, but...You too, Kaede-chan?

Kaede: Yes! But she told me the person I'm meeting with will tell me everything, and sent me here without any information.

Kii: Me too! Headmistress Tiara was all like, “It'll be a surprise!”

Kaede: A suprise! That's so exciting♪ I can't wait~

Kii: I'm sooo worried, though~ I wonder what kinda person's coming?

Kaede: It's kinda rare for us to be paired up, huh.

Kii: Right, right!? I bet it would be fun to pro-pro-produce us.

Kaede: Yeah! It'd be the best if we could do something super exciting together! Wait..Huh? Someone's heading towards us...That's...!

Kii: Huh!? Where, where?

Marcel: …!

KaedeKaede: Marcel-san!? I never even dreamed of seeing you here!

KiiKii: No way no way no way~~~!! What brings you here!?

MarcelMarcel: …! ….♪

KiiKii: A letter...? For us...?

KaedeKaede: Hmm, let's see...Oh my god! I can't believe this!!

KiiKii: A-A special stage for us!?

KaedeKaede: And as special guests in the Japan performance of the circus troupe Marcel-san produces costumes for...! Amazing!

Marcel: …?

Kaede: Ummm, are you asking if we're willing to take on the job?

Kii: Of course it's Ok-ok-okay!! Right? Kaede-chan!

Kaede: Of course it's okay!

Marcel: ♪♪♪

Episode 2

Kaede: Kii! Good morning! Let's do our best today!

Kii: Kaede-chan! Welcome!

[Scene transition]

Kaede: All right then, then let's get started on our meeting for the special live right away!

Kii: Yeah! I guess first things first, we wanna decide on the concept of our live first?

Kaede: Concept! Yeah! Then we gotta make it like Magical Toy and...! Prepare the best surprise! Something that'll catch everyone off guard!

Kii: Like a jack-in-the-box?

Kaede: Yeah, that!! Something that'll make their hearts race...That's the kinda live I wanna do!

Kii: Got it! That's a great idea, Kaede-chan! A live so exciting it'll make the audience smile, and us on stage, too!

Kaede: Yes!! We gotta make everyone happy!

Kii: Everyone happy...That's your Aikatsu! Right?

Kaede: Yes! I've always kept that in mind while doing my Aikatsu!...From the moment I got my premium dress from Marcel-san!

Kii: Ooh!

Kaede: What about yours, Kii? You gotta tell me!

Kii: Ummm~...Aikatsu! for me is...At first, I entered DreAca because wanted to produce everyone. But everyone gets really happy for me when I shine as an idol. Especially Seira, who cheers me on so much...Like that time when I got my premium dress from Marcel-san...

Kaede: So, your Aikatsu! is for everyone you love, huh?

Kii: Yeah, maybe that's it. Everyone I love is here for me and I have lots of fun doing Aikatsu! No matter if I'm a producer or an idol!

Kaede: ...Okay! Then let's get everyone in on this live, too! A jack-in-the-box live produced by you that'll knock the socks off that circus troupe!

Kii: Yeah! Let's make it a happy-happy-happy live full of excitement that'll bring smiles to everyone's faces~!

Kaede&Kii: Yeah~!!

Episode 3

Kii: Hey guys~!

Seira: Kii! Are you done already?

Sora: You had a meeting today, right? Good work.

Maria: I'll pour some tea for you, too~

Kii: Oh~ thanks~ Wait! That's not what I'm here for! Hey guys! I have a favour to ask!

Seira&co: Huh?

[Scene transition]

Maria: Wow~♪ A special guest at a circus troupe? That sounds wonderful!

Seira: A direct offer from Marcel-san, too! You did it, Kii!

Sora: A special live with Kaede-chan, too! I'm so excited...!

Kii: Thanks, guys! I'm sooo glad, too! So me and Kaede-chan were saying we wanna make it the best live ever, and...We want you guys to be a part of it, too!

Seira&co: ...Huh!?

Seira: What do you mean?

Kii: We were talking about how we wanna make the theme a live full of excitement and surprises, just like a circus troupe!

Maria: I see~! It's the perfect theme for Magical Toy♪

Sora: Yeah, you gotta have costumes like a jack-in-the-box for a circus, too!

Seira: Yeah, it fits Kii and Kaede perfectly!

Kii: Right? So we were thinking we could make it even more fun if we got everyone to stand on stage, and not just us. And that it could make the audience coming for the circus even happier.

Seira: So that's what you mean...!

Maria: I guess circuses are meant to be lively♪

Sora: We gotta make sure to hype it up as much as the circus!

Kii: You guys...! So...

Seira: Yeah! I'm happy to do it for Kii!

Kii: Wow~! Thanks! Guys!!

Episode 4

Yurika: So you want to ask I, Yurika-sama, and Mizuki-san for cooperation?

Kaede: Yes! If all of Tristar is together, there's no doubt we'll get all the hype!

Yurika: Well, there is no denying that! As for I, Yurika-sama, I wouldn't not mind not taking up your offer!

Mizuki: A special live at a circus...That sounds fun! It'll be a live like never before!

Kaede: Then...!!

Mizuki: Actually, sorry...I already other work on that day...

Kaede: Oh~, no~...That's too bad, but if you already have work.

Mizuki: Not to make up for it or anything, but..

Kaede: Mizuki?

Mizuki: How about someone to substitute me? I have someone in mind.

Kaede: A substitute!? You have my interest!!

Yurika: A substitute...Speaking of, you have experience, don't you? For PowaPuri...

Kaede: Yes~! A sub for Shion. I am the honourary PowaPuri member!

Yurika: But a sub for Mizuki-san...They have to be quite skilled to do the job, no?

Mizuki: Hehe...No need to worry. They're definitely skilled as an idol.

Kaede: You sure speak highly of them...! I can't wait!

Mizuki: Then I'll get in contact with them right away.

[Scene Transition]

Ran: So that's why Mizuki-san called me here...

Yurika: I-I can't believe Ran is the sub for Mizuki-san...

Mizuki: So, how about it? Ran's perfect for the job, right?

Kaede: That's our Mizuki! Welcome, Ran! Did you hear everything from Mizuki?

Ran: Yep. A live for a circus sounds really unusual.

Kaede: So can you do us a favour this time?

Ran: Yeah, of course! Not only did Mizuki-san ask, but it sounds interesting, too! I'm happy to join in!

Mizuki: Thanks, Ran. I'm counting on you for my part!

Ran: No problem! You can leave it to me!

Yurika: Well, if you insist, it's not like I won't not let you not join.

Ran: Uh, this is Kaede's offer, right...?

Kaede: Ahaha! I'm counting on you guys! Ran! Yurika!

Ran: Right. Let's hype up the crowd!

Yurika: There is no doubt to success if I'm participating!

Episode 5

Kaede: Well then, now that everyone's here...

Kii: Let's go and get this special live collab meeting started!

Everyone: Yeah~!!

Ran: I sure am surprised that we're gonna be with DreAca, though.

Seira: It's a cool group though, right? I can't wait!

Sora: I can't believe I get to be in the same unit as you again, Ran-chan. Hehe, I'm so excited.

Maria: Yeah! It's been awhile since we stood on the same stage.

Yurika: Well, we gathered this many people. No matter what kind of live we make it, there is no doubt it will be the talk of the town.

Kaede: I'm counting on you~! Okay then, let's get this meeting going.

Kii: Right! I called everyone here today to decide who will be in charge of what!

Sora: Who will be in charge of what?

Kaede: Yep! So what circus shows do you guys wanna do?

Everyone: ...Huh?

Seira: Circus...

Ran: Shows...?

Maria: By shows, do you mean like talent shows and magic tricks...?

Kii: Bingo! Yeah, stuff like that!

Yurika: W-Wait, Kaede! What do you mean we're doing shows!?

Kaede: Well, the people from the circus actually asked me about this! They wanted to know since we're here and all, that if we could do other stuff besides a live, too!

Kii: So we were thinking...Is there a way to make the crowd waiting for the circus even more excited?

Kaede: We thought it'd be great if we could excite the audience by having us idols challenging ourselves with shows, on top of the live!

Kii: Let's give them an electrifying experience with our shows!!

Ran: I see..So that's what happened.

Maria: I'm a little surprised, but...That sounds fun♪

Seira: Yeah...! It's so exciting...Like lalala~!!

Sora: Hehe, you're right! I can feel an exciting breeze blowing in.

Yurika: Well, if that's how it is...Ahem...It isn't not like I, Yurika-sama, descendant of vampires, won't not cooperate with you lot.

Kaede: Thank you, guys!! Okay then...

Kii: Let's decide on what shows to put on~!

Episode 6

Kaede: Uhhh~, so everyone's good with the show...There.

Kii: All right then, we gotta decide what kinda show we're gonna do!

Ran: Sounds simple enough, but what can we even do?

Yurika: Kaede sure is lucky. You can just show off your magic tricks or juggling or something.

Kaede: Ahaha! Wanna try it, Yurika?

Yurika: D-Does it look like I can!?

Maria: Oh yeah, it's not like we can do what Kaede-chan does...What should we do?

Seira: Hmm~ Circuses need animals, right?

Maria: Oh, right~! Then maybe I'll get Elizabeth III's help.

Sora: Maybe I'll ask Palm, too?

Ran: I see. Animals, huh. That does seem more circus-y.

Yurika: ...But, they're a cow and a parrot, right?

Seira: Well, if we're talking about Elizabeth III...

Maria: It's gotta be her fresh milk, proudly presented by me! We could give some to everyone in the circus, too...

Sora: Palm is great at talking, so...

Maria&Sora: Ummm...? Or maybe not....?

Ran: ...Is that really a circus?

Yurika: There is nothing circus-like even if you squint...

Seira: O-Okay, then I'll do a guitar performance!!

Yurika: I just said circus-like~!

Kaede: Ahaha!! That's a show, too!

Ran: It's probably exciting enough to do the usual live, but...

Maria: Yeah, it's not very circus-like~

Sora: Yeah...It's a little far off from a circus show...

Everyone: Hmmm~...

Seira: Oh yeah! Then let's just get Kaede to teach us!

Everyone: Huh?

Seira: Why don't we just get Kaede to teach us how to juggle or something?

Kaede: Wow! So does that mean special training with everyone until the day of?

Sora: You have a point. It is a circus and all. I'd love to do something like that.

Maria: I'm sure we can do it if we all do our best to practice♪

Ran: That's a sound idea. Why not?

Yurika: I'm a little worried about Kaede teaching me, but...Not a bad idea.

Kii: Sounds great, great~! Nice idea, Seira! Kaede-chan! So are you ok-ok-okay with that?

Kaede: Yes! Of course! Leave the lessons to me!

[sutare-chan]

Ao Jumonji’s Roman, pt.4

a piece of Noël nr 7 Noël works in a bar now. He's very polite and responsible. He doesn't close the bar while there're still clients, even if they're too late (and not even start to tidy up before they leave). His chief doesn't get it: why wouldn't Noël want to end his workday earlier?.. Anyway, the chief himself isn't nearly as hardworking, so Noël additionally does have to close the doors (which is usually not the barman's task, but chief just leaves before him x3) and take the keys to the chief's house and drop them to his mailbox. With a boss like that the bar isn't doing very well, as you may assume =P Noël doesn't really have any ambitions there either, but he works properly. And, like, the bar is called Rapa Bar (after an island in the Pacific), and there's of course its special drink. Which is pretty shitty actually, but Noël secretly made his own recipe of the thing, a better one. Although when it's not Noël's shift the drink is still as bad as it used to be. That particular night Noël was getting the keys to his chief's house, as usual. When he was going back home it was nearly dawn already. Noël looked up in the grey sky and sighed, when suddenly a voice called him. That was Kurikigawa Kakehiro, his old school friend! My, my, what a meeting! Kurikigawa was going home after he was drinking booze with some of his acquaintances, when he suddenly spotted and recognized Noël (they haven't seen each other ever since the middle school). Kurikigawa's a bit drunk and more than happy to see Noël, while Noël seems sort or indifferent (or rather not really getting wtf is going on x3). Still, he follows Kurikigawa when he invites him to have a gyudon and a chat. We learn that Kurikigawa's working somewhere already, while Noël decided to go for a university (Kurikigawa says it's no wonder, since Noël always had brilliant scores in school, but apparently Noël doesn't remember that at all). Kurikigawa also asks how's it going with music. Noël doesn't play in a band, but Kurikigawa understands that at least he's still playing and that overfills him with joy. He also tells that Noël really shouldn't have played together with those less dedicated than himself: "You know, <...> I wouldn't have been surprised at all if you had started a professional career by now. Or would I?.. Yeah, I guess I would, like, wow! How can that be and such. You do have a talent, I've always believed that. And I would often think: "that guy's different". I don't have a talent, you see. Okay, maybe I do, but not for music, that's for sure. But I understand. I mean... see, if even I have goosebumps when I hear it, that guy must be a genius. I dunno. But I believe so. I mean, about you. That you're a genius. Geniuses are different, you see? You probably hated playing together with us. Like, why can't we understand such simple things. That's so easy, why are they so stupid? You couldn't understand that it was beyond us, could you? Nah, I dunno, really. At least it seemed so. I thought you were a genius. Like, already back then. What about you? Haven't you thought that?" "Not really". "I see." "The sound", - Noël touched his temple with a finger. "I can hear the sound. Over here. But no one else seems to hear it." "Well, of course not if it's inside your head." "But when I play it on instruments, they do." "Duh." "That's how it is." "Nah, I don't get it." "You don't?" "So what? Noël, that's no game for you, is it? Like hell. Hrm, how do I put it... That comes from your heart, right? You used to take this stuff very seriously. We weren't, for us that was just a way to look cool. Like, girls like that stuff. Fashion. <...> But you weren't like that. Were you?" "I wasn't". <end of quote!> When Kurikigawa gets sleepy, they go home, but Kurikigawa promises to come and visit Noël at the bar. When Noël comes home (he's renting a small flat for his own now) he doesn't go to sleep. Instead he turns his old PC on and opens a music-making program. And remembers Kurikigawa's words. Talent, he says, huh... 9. UTSUKUSHIKIMONO My problem with retelling this one is that it's mostly dialogues, which is fantastic, but hard to sum up x3 I'll try my best though. Ok, so it all starts with the small Monica asking her parents whenever is she going to meet the baby. It's when the spring comes. When comes the spring? It's when the almond tree blooms. What are almond flowers like? They're pink. What's pink? It's a color, brighter then red but not white. How's that even possible? Oh come on, Monica, you'll see it when the spring comes. When comes the spring? OH MONICA. Monice is, like, 3 years old (or turning three soon) and she can't wait. And one day the shit happens! Her mom suddenly feels bad (oh no!), her dad's all nervous and he says that they can only pray in the wait for the baby. Wait, is that the baby coming?.. Anyways, they do pray, and ah! Soon a servant is calling them to mom's room and there's the baby!!! OH WOW!!! In the following episodes we watch Monica and her little brother (I saw a beautiful assumption that he should be called Rolland, and that's how I'm going to call him) grow up step by step. In the beginning he's, like, still a baby, and in the next episode he's around 3 years old, while Monica is 6 (and it will be up to Monica's 13 or 14, I believe). He's asking why is it cold when autumn comes. She answers that's because winter is real soon. Is winter even more cold than autumn? It is. What comes next? It's spring - and then summer. Is it always repeating like that? It is! Why is it? No idea. How come you don't know, Monica? I dunno D= That must be God's doing. God is cool, isn't he... He is! Monica decides that next time she sees a priest she's going to ask how come seasons spin around and whether it's God's doing. And one more question: why is that her brother still can't walk? D= The next extract Monica's around seven, Rolland is about 4, I guess. She's going to school already and tells Rolland whatever they're doing there. Like, they're learning how to spell words. Rolland, do you know how to spell the word elephant? I don't, why? There's only one right way to do that, like they do in the books. Oh, I see - and what if you make a mistake? The teacher will scold you. And that's all? o.O You know how embarrassing it is to get scolded in front of your friends! No idea, it's not like I had any. How'bout me? O.o You're not my friend, you're my sister. Then they discuss what friendship is and how it differs from family. After a while Monica just says that when Rolland is old enough to go to school, she'll carry him on her back (spoiler: no, that's not happening). It gets nastier from the next episode on. The two are singing a funny French song, this one - https://youtu.be/aJVN8wHXz68 That's actually a song about a girl named Michele who's lost a cat. She cries and wants her cat back. And an old man Lustucru says he knows where the cat is. He asks, however, whatever his award will be. Michele promises him a kiss, but Lustucru doesn't want that and says he's sold her can to get himself a rabbit 8) Yes. That's an existing old French song about Michele and a cat. I thought it was SO cool that Jumonji-san actually managed to find it 8D So, as I said, the two were singing this song when suddenly Rolland started to cough. Apparently that was way too much of a stress for his lungs. He doesn't want to keep silent though and soon he asks what size cats are (he's never seen one). Monica tells a story about seeing a giant cat in the streets. Rolland doesn't really believe her, but tells that if she manages to draw it, he will trust the image. It's decided, then: Monica's asking their dad to buy her everything necessary to draw. Aren't just pencils enough? No they are not - Monica does want to make the picture credible!!! The next time Monica's found some new entertainment, which is a brand new (okay, not brand but rather new) instrument from Germany, a harmonica! She isn't playing too well yet, though, but Rolland is still fascinated. He also tries to play it a bit himself, but only a bit. After that he goes back to reading. He's in the middle of some new book, "Around the world in 80 days". Monica's never heard of that book, so she's asking what it’s about. She's really surprised by the plot and by the main character who basically made a rather meaningless bet for all of his fortune and tells that people like that can only be found in the books. To that Rolland notices that for him people in the books and real people outside the house are more or less the same. The children are growing little by little. In the next episode Monica and Rolland are discussing some of Monica's school fellows. There's that boy, Gerome, all so sassy and ready to fight. He seems clever though. Rolland says that the boy must feel lonely because no one really understands him, and even though he seems to have a lot of friends, none of them are as smart as he is, so he must feel really lonely (duh, no parallel with Noël, what are you talking about? x3). That seems right, and Monica's amazed how smart Rolland himself is. He knows so many things, and that's without really leaving home! That's because he's reading a lot of books apparently. As if his head had wings inside and was flying around, while his body was lying home. Now that's a creepy image... Speaking of creepy things, Monica tells that not a long ago their dad had a mysterious guest, who told his name was W. That W wanted their father to find a particular item, which is, in fact, a sculpture of the famous artist, Auguste Laurant. Funny enough, that statue, the so-called "Angel" is unknown. W has also asked to report it, if the father comes across a person with the name M... Remember Monica started to draw? Well, apparently that got more or less serious. She's making oil paintings, now. Her easel stands in Rolland's room, so she can draw there, while Rolland would read another book. Monica isn't completely sure though, whether she likes to draw or to play with the tools more (Auguste wouldn't have approved that for sure!). She's mostly drawing landscapes. That summer her father decided to go on a trip to the town of Étretat (that one is real, by the way!), and he took Monica, too. She didn't feel like going for more than a day, though, because she didn't want to leave Rolland behind (although Rolland wanted her to go see the world, too!). So, Monica did travel together with her dad after all (but only for one day!). She's always taking a sketchbook with her so that she could draw whatever she likes. There, in the town which is situated by the sea, she found a spectacular place to draw the landscape. Later her father told her that the famous artist Claude Monet used the same angles to picture that place [a series of paintings, google "claude monet etretat"]. Monica had never heard about that artist before so she actually felt offended that she unconsciously copied someone else's idea. She sighs about that even when she's sitting in front of her easel in Rolland's room, making oil-paintings out of those sketches. She says she doesn't want others' fame, she wants her own, even if it's a modest one x3 Rolland encourages her in a rather touching manner, which I'm too lazy to explain in detail. They go on with their business - Monica's drawing, Rolland's reading, when suddenly she notices he hasn't been turning pages in a while. At first she frightens that he doesn't move at all, but then she notices he's breathing after all, but he’s fallen asleep. She thinks about how she wants to do everything for him but how Rolland wouldn't appreciate that. She wakes him up and he wants to continue reading. He wanted to complete this book by evening. She tells him not to strain himself. He nods but goes on reading anyway. After that his health is going even worse. He can't sit anymore and he usually doesn't have the will to change his lying position. As the spring approaches, he's beginning to act a bit weird. Like, when the almond tree blooms, he has a talk with Monica, and he tells her about a similar tree that grows in Japan, which is sakura. "Japan is pretty far away" [Monica says] "People are good at getting far away." "You can sail very far on a ship. Papa told he's been to India!" "Some day..." Rolland's coughing was now really worrying Monica, and she started to caress her brother's back. He didn't like it when she was doing this. She knew that, yet she couldn't help doing it anyway. "...some day it will become possible to fly there on a plane." "No way." "But that's true!" "But why on plane and not on a flying balloon?" "I think people will be flying on planes in USA and Japan... Some day." "Tell whatever you like, I just can't imagine that." "Can't you?" "I can't." "I wish I could fly..." <end of quote> Seems like something's bothering Rolland a lot, and he seems very anxious, but he doesn't utter a word, he hesitates before even asking anything, and then he just asks Monica to play harmonica a bit. At summer he sees a dream. Of a clear sky, just like it is right now. How come he knows it was a dream? That's because he was walking there. Not really walking, because he wasn't moving his legs. More like moving along some path. Monica said that perhaps he was flying, just not very high up in the air. Rolland asks her to play harmonica again. She doesn't want to let off his hand, because it feels like letting go a small bird that will get away immediately. But she does, anyway. When autumn comes, they are lying together at night and watching up the starry sky. Rolland doesn't seem to like autumn, because it means that winter comes real soon. He's also afraid to sleep. Because he's afraid he wouldn't wake up again. Monika says it will be alright and she will always be there to wake him. "It's so silent..." "Should I play for you?" "But it's night" "It's fine, I'll be quiet" "Alright" "Rolland.." "What is it, Monica?" "All of the world is yours!" Rolland smiled, although only a bit. Monica didn't know as many words as Rolland did, and she wasn't good at composing poems, although she was trying her best. She felt she was unable to express what she meant to say. "Really!" she added before starting to play. To that Rolland only answered: "Is it?" In winter Monica was happy to see some first snow. But when she took a bit of it to show Rolland, he acted all indifferent. It seems like he's fighting something without showing a single sign. But he does suffer. He also feels that he's stealing everybody's time and doesn't even want everyone to celebrate Christmas with him. "Monica, leave me be. I'm fine!" "But I'm not. I don't wanna stay alone." "But I do. <...> Even without you, I know the world is full of beautiful things." "Yeah, I don't even doubt that. You know so much." "I close my eyes and I see beauty." "That means you can see something I can't" "I even like autumn!" "Haven't you told you didn't?" "I... don't hate it. You see, even those scarlet and golden leaves you are gathering are my treasure. I wish autumn would come again. <...>" "It's soon. But first it will have to become warmer, the hot summer will pass, and then it will get cooler again". "That's too long... <...> That's too long for me." Soon after that his condition gets even worse. His lips and nails get pale and dark. His voice almost disappears and he breathes heavily. He's asked Monica to bring all of her paintings, and they're now hanged on the walls. When he can keep his eyes opened, he looks at those. That wasn't for long though. When the almond blooms again, Rolland can't open his eyes anymore. His eyelids only tremble a bit from time to time, it feels like he's unconscious. A nurse is getting invited to the house, and that woman tells Monica that she can clearly see that her brother is delighted to hear her play harmonica. He certainly can hear it, even though he's unable to talk. Monica chats with him a lot, imagining what he would answer to her, and from his face she seems to see whether she guessed it right or wrong. Soon Rolland passes away. He clearly said "How beautiful" just before that. She doesn't call him but once. Because she knows he's on his way to other horizons in his search for beautiful things. This world was way too beautiful to spend all of his time fighting. So why distracting him by calling his name? She only kisses him silently at parting. And that was the last long story, I guess. a piece of Noël nr 8 Noël has successfully graduated and become a teacher. That was sort of lucky, because he's taking the place of a certain woman who suddenly took her maternity leave. We see Noël at his first day at school, how he's being presented to the children. And my, my, that's quite something XDDD He freezes seeing all the children faces, and an unknown melody starts to play in his head. He's delighted and he can't properly process his own thoughts at the moment. The teacher that was accompanying him tried to present him to the class, when Noël thought he was grown-up enough to do it himself, so he put a finger upon his lips and said: "shhhh!" to the teacher x3 After that he's getting acquaintanced with the class. "Noël... sensei?.." "What?" Noël answered, and then he realized it wasn't supposed to be phrased that way. "What is it?" "May I ask you something?" "You're welcome to. You may ask whatever you want. I will answer any question I can." "What about the questions you can't answer?" "I won't answer them" "Aah..." some of the pupils (three of them, to be exact) answered. <...> "I won't be answering questions that I cannot answer. But I promise I won't tell you a single lie" "You won't?" a girl asked seriously. She looked elder than her age, as if she was in the middle school already, and she didn't bother to stand up. Her voice sounded somewhat sassy, too (although that's no wonder if she had suffered from someone's lie). "I won't". "What if you do?" "I'll entrust you my life <...> And I'm not kidding. I mean it. I won't lie to you. I'm always keeping my promises. And I never give promises I can't keep". <end of the quote> He's being asked about his unusual eyes and hair color, and he answers that apparently one of his parents was a foreigner (but he's still a Japanese himself). Then he wins over the class when he's starting to ask their names and gives short commentary on everyone, and promises to remember every single name. But that's not all. After that follows another episode. Noël is visiting a person in a hospital. His grand-mother, to be exact. One and a half year before the described events he finally met her again. Unfortunately, she wasn't in the state to speak anymore. Actually, she's almost dead. She can't eat nor breathe on her own. Her brain-waves are almost extinct. Still he comes to visit her. At first it was very hard for him to not look away in disgust, but he's now used to it. He brought some oranges and, um, tries to let her smell them, hoping that perhaps she can feel something after all. He tells her about his job a bit. And thinks that his gran was always straining herself. Now she's locked herself away from the rest of the world and finally has the time to relax. When at hospital, he can't hear any sounds in his head for some reason. He also wonders if his gran really wants to get distracted by his visits. 10. TASOGARE NO KENJA A woman, Chloe, is walking around an old park. She's deep in her thoughts and not really paying attention to what she's doing. For instance, she's actually alone in a deserted park at night. That could be quite dangerous for a young woman. Yet she doesn't seem to think about that at all. All she does is sitting down a bench near a fountain and preparing herself to cry, muttering from time to time something like "What does it matter now..." She also seems to remember some young man, and that's where she's about to finally let her tears loose, when suddenly a voice interrupts the process: "Bonsoir, mademoiselle". The voice belongs to some mysterious man. I don't think I need to give you the description, but it's important that these clothes of his seem odd to the young Chloe, they seem out of date. His manner of speaking is quite weird, too. But since the language he's talking isn't her mother tongue, she isn't sure whether he has an accent or what. The man asks if he may sit with her. Uncomfortable as Chloe felt, she agreed (she always tends to do the opposite of what she's told, even if that's her voice of reason talking to her x3). The man talks to her and she's starting to suspect he's a stalker. Yet they do speak. The man sees that something is worrying her, but she only tells that she's a foreigner. The man notices that she speaks pretty fluently. That's actually surprising because she only started to study the language at university. Anyway, the only problem she gives away to have is that she has a hard time understanding her neighbours speaking. And feeling a bit lost in this country. Is that really a problem worth making 11 circles around the fountain? Apparently it is. Then the man starts to cite the song, confusing Chloe x3 In the end she does get the formula: 0 = nobody's here 1 = the man = Chloe = him = anyone 2 = the man + Chloe = 1+1 The man also tells his name's Savant. That's not his true name though. Well, she's Chloe. That's not her true name either, but her true name is apparently too difficult to pronounce. Then the two part. Chloe's living in a flat, not the smallest flat possible. Apparently she's a teacher, but since a while ago she doesn't work much. But she can't do anything at her spare time. She just either sits in the sofa or lies in her bed. She can't watch TV nor read books (she doesn't remember a word of what's written afterwards). Hating herself for doing nothing, she tries to compose a letter. But that one gets a mess and she throws it away. There are a lot of photos on the walls. Where the two are happy together... After a week she found herself in the very same park. She meets the man again. They talk. Savant cites the song again and Chloe's getting even more confused by it x3 After he ends the strophe with that "we're locking ourselves", or whatever was the precise quote from the English translation, Chloe thinks of how complicated the links between things are. She remembers how her mother taught her how to knit. Back then she thought it was the most boring thing ever: to interweave threads by always repeating the same movements... "Alright" Chloe nodded. "I'll try to explain". "You have my full attention" <...> "Here's me." "Yes, here's you". "Yup, right, me. And there's another person." "Me, I assume?" "No, not you", Chloe put her hands on her tummy. "Inside myself" "Hrm", Savant said, twisting his mustache. "In other words, your child?" "That's right, Savant. <...> Right. But there's no father" "Are you virgin Mary?" "Unfortunately not. Not that I had any issues with that. You see, the person that was supposed to become his father isn't here." "Isn't here anymore?" "He's gone forever" "That's sad" "It is. At least I'm very unhappy about that." "To give birth to a baby and raise it all alone. Well, that happens of course, but that's still rather troublesome." "That happens" "I guess so" "A lot, actually" "Yeah, you must be right." "I'm ill" <end of quote> She learned she had a disease after he was gone. And right now Chloe did burst into tears without even noticing it. Savant gives her a handkerchief and leaves. The next scene is taking place at a doctor's consulting room. Amara, Chloe's doctor, is telling her the situation, which's pretty nasty. She has cancer, stage III. There's still hope, but she will have to do an abortion. She asks for some more time to think about it. By the way he calls her by the real surname, which is Kuroeda. Soon after that she's having a conversation with Savant again. I don't really see the point in retelling this conversation in detail, really. I only have to mention that this reflects some motifs from Honoo (see above). They're talking in mathematical terms again. But Chloe thinks all those formulae aren't really applicable here. After all, 1+1 doesn't necessarily equal 2. It can be 0, if both she and the child die. But as the conversation goes on, she starts to realize that the truth is really hidden everywhere. Like, when it seemed like the time stopped in her conversation with Savant, she could still hear the fountain's sound. That means the time hasn't really stopped. The truth is, that even if the fountain steadily holds the same shape, the water is always different and the time never stops. It flows in one direction. We will all perish. 0+0=0, there's nothing. But if you accept the night when you have to go, the child will love the life too, right? No one else except her can give birth to this particular child, to whom she sort of addresses a monologue: "Even though a morning has come for you, there will inevitably be a night after that. Even if you see a light like a flame and stretch your hand to get a hold of a gem. Even if a windmill goes on spinning around on the windy hill by the place where you fall to the ground. Even though there will be stardust blinking above your head. Even if you manage to see an angel's smile. There might be days when you embrace happy and beautiful dreams, and days when you will be intoxicated by wine. Wandering, you will meet a wise man like I did [!!], and he will help you getting the true meaning of the message scattered all around the world... And in the end you'll set to the journey to the horizon. You're the same". Resolved, she stands up from the bench, she straightens her spine and goes away. <sudden twists incoming!!> Savant's still sitting on the bench and smiling, as if he's really-really pleased. Suddenly he can't hear the water noise anymore. That's because it's too late and the fountain got turned off. He knew and was expecting that. What he wasn't expecting though, is that there will suddenly appear a man with folds on his forehead and say in a weird voice: "I've been searching for you, Christophe". Yes. Christophe is M. That other man is W. They're opposite yet they're the same thing. They're like two shatters of the same poem. W has been chasing M for a long long time. W calls M 'metamorphos', in kanji - "shapeless". M calls W Wulfric, the 'wolf-ruler', and also 'the Winter one'. W wants to kill M. M only laughs, because Wulfric's too late again, anyway. While Wulfric wants to end everything, M knows there's no such thing as an "end". Even if W kills M, it doesn't really change anything. M hopes that W will get it one day. [The human lives]"Repeating the story, death and loss, revolving Paradise and Abyss! Boys keep on drawing romans even when they go. And that's the true essence of Roman!" [M says] "I can't agree with you" "Still I believe we will come to understand each other one day." "Well, you're free to believe that" said Wulfric, putting his finger on the trigger "if you can" <...> A shot banged, and the world continued to be there without any changes. The night passed and a new morning began. Morning and night continued to replace each other. a piece of Noël nr 9 (apparently the longest one of the pieces! oh, and I'll be citing a lot!) Noël's gran is dead and they're holding a funeral. Remember Nuiko, the woman Noël was living by when he was a child? She's also there, moreover, she was mostly in charge for arranging the funeral. Noël is sort of enraptured by how she managed to treat funeral services from the economical point of view (as if it was all about the money). But he also thinks how kind it is of her to process all the stuff for the person who wasn't her mother. She isn't all that heartless he guesses. Her family (i.e. Ryuuetsu and Norio, the other boy I haven't mentioned in the piece nr 3) is there too, along with her husband. That one is standing by the car, though, he isn't coming to the burial itself) and Noël are the only ones who actually made it to the cemetery. While all the others seem quite indifferent and/or bored, Noël's not: "Noël was looking at the gravestone and speaking without a sound: That's all, granny... No, he corrected himself in a second - baba [I don't remember how it was translated by Defade. you know, baba's somewhat ruder than obaa-chan]. That's all, baba. You were put silently to sleep, getting cut off all those pipes - that's no fun, huh? Not that you were any fun at all. Had you regained consciousness, you'd think you want someone to kill you already, no doubt. Although you hadn't. That wasn't really 'life', was it? Yet you were being kept 'alive'. And I was talking to you as if you had been alive. Although I knew it was a lie. Had I had at least a shatter of kindness, I'd get you cut off the artificial breath right off. You must know, I was actually thinking about it, but not that I was considering that seriously, like, weighting pros and cons and such. And I didn't want to, to tell you the truth. I haven't done anything for you. You died all alone. I let you die all alone. Baba. Granny. I'm not apologizing. But I will tell you from the bottom of my heart. I didn't hate you. You were stiff, you lived alone and you died alone, but I don't hate you. I'm proud of you and I have respect for you. And I feel lonely because of your death." <end of quote> Then the weather gets worse and the family decides to leave asap. They're not taking Noël though. Their ways part here. At parting Nuiko tells though that all of the old woman's belongings are in a storage now, and Noël gotta sort them out in the upcoming three days. Noël was rather planning to get rid of all of them, but the old man on the encounter advised him to take a look at least. And so Noël did. There weren't many things, but there were some. Some old drawer for example, but we'll come to that later. Noël spots a bag he can remember his gran wearing back in piece nr 1, He actually tries to copy her manner to walk with that bag. And thinks how it seemed so cool and so warlike, as if she were fighting the whole world. He thinks again that he didn't hate her. He doesn't have the right to say that he loved her, though, because he did nothing. Had he loved her, he would hug her and try to be her ally in this fight against the world. Well then, the drawer. Some meds in the upper shelves, no papers (Nuiko must've taken those already), an old kimono with a nostalgic scent he could remember from his childhood. Then finally the bottom shelf. Some photoalbums (Noël wants to take a closer look at the old photos and decides to take those), postcards from random people - nothing special. And finally three letters all written by the same person from different places. Two are just envelopes, but the last one still has the letter inside. Noël takes that one. Seems very old, and it's been reread so many times that it got really decrepit by the bends. It also seems as if it's been under a rain or something, the paper's all wavy. It's hardly readable though. Except for one last line. You know which. Following - a passage about how shitty is the world and how so many bad things are happening, and how life is not priceless but worthless, and how there die a lot of people every second. But no one wants to notice this. Because that's tough. People aren't allowed to be kind to other people or they'll break. "He was never creating illusions that anyone wanted his birth. He just couldn't imagine that. Because he had had such a miserable life. Because he was feeling lonely. Because he was feeling sad. Because he had pitied himself. He wanted to hate! To hate from the bottom of his heart, to be rude, to destroy. Then he would have forgotten how miserable he was. There would be no more loneliness or sadness. But, unfortunately, he pitied himself. Perhaps he was an unwanted child, yet he valued himself. And he wanted to think that it's fine that he's allowed to live. He wanted to believe. However miserable, lonely and sad his life was, but he was also living it sort of furious and with all his strength. He was grasping and clinging onto it. He tried to love the world. To forgive. And thus to deserve forgiveness. It's fine for me to live, isn't it? Of course it is - that's what he wanted to hear as an answer. At least little by little! Let the others acknowledge his right to live. He isn't bothering anyone. He isn't a threat to anyone. If left in peace, he never does anything bad to anyone. Isn't it fine if he just lives here?" Noël's drinking hard. And keeps remembering those enchanted words from the letter. He thinks that his life wasn't all that bad actually. Like, there's no devastating war. And he does live in a hi-tech country and he has Internet. How amazing is that?! He can upload the pieces of music that are roaming through his head for everyone to hear. Isn't that a salvation? He can't bear it when he's sober so he's drunk pretty constantly. He thinks that it's not like there's a door which one can only go through with a signed license from one's mother that he's allowed to live. No one will ever guess that a child is unwanted unless someone tells that. He's trying to think that his mother didn't mean it perhaps, that it was just a figure, because she felt upset or something... But then, when he tried to speak about that to some strangers, he got into a fight and ended up getting a little beaten and sitting in some side-street, looking at the stars with his lips bleeding. And thinking of how all the stars will vanish, and nothing can help. He can't find the meaning anymore. He thinks he needs to tell that to his pupils. And how much of a shit he was for wanting to use these children to find a meaning for himself. It's Christmas Eve. Noël's drunk again, he's standing in the street, looking at celebrating people. He's smiling and singing Christmas carols. Shit happened. The teacher, who had taken the maternity leave, came back to the school. Her baby didn't survive after all, and she wants to get back to work asap. Noël quits. He can't remember much after that, apparently he was drinking all along. Already drunk, he goes to some bar. It's full packed, and Noël can sort of hear some music there, but he doesn't even seem to realize it's inside his head. There he falls asleep, having ordered a whiskey. When he wakes up he discovers his wallet is gone, so he gets beaten up again by the other customers. He goes away after that and ends up sitting in some side-street, looking at the stars and the freezing white moon with his lips bleeding and a the feeling of deja-vu. He thinks he should just lock in himself and bear this shitty life until he's gone. Without hoping or believing. When suddenly he notices a black figure... After the fated line, "I have heard your music", Noël freaks out and can't understand how it’s possible to establish the link between those pieces he's uploaded and himself. And how come anyone could know he'd be here (he doesn't even know where he is himself). But you know the scenario and which book he's about to receive... The last thing Revo gets to say in this chapter is "Stream your song. You can do that, and you cannot do otherwise". 11. 11-MOJI NO DENGON Chloe-san's back! (she's named in the preface of the chapter with the list of characters, but I don't think her name is mentioned even once in the chapter itself). She's also back to Japan, btw. She's become much skinnier now, and her disease's pretty bad. Still, having put on her jacket which is now too big for her body, and putting on sun-glasses she wanders off from the hospital. Walking through the morning streets, she remembers her messy life. How she fell in love with a foreign student when she was 20, and how mad that love was, and how they didn't want to part for even one moment. At some point she reaches a park and there she sees a fountain with a bench not far from it. There she sits. Her thoughts are getting a bit messy, too. She can't feel much pain, though. Perhaps they should've tried a bit harder to pursue her mother to give them her blessing, but instead they decided to go to his motherland. His adoptive parents weren't really happy to see their boy gave up on his study for some Japanese girl. Moreover, they were in the middle of getting a divorce, too, so they hadn't really helped at all. It could still be pretty fine had she not become pregnant. After that her husband gave up on all the part-time jobs and went to some mining company. Soon enough there was rumored to have been some kind of an accident. She got reported that apparently he died, but no details had been revealed, and soon that company just disappeared in the thin air. Then the news about her illness. How would her life have changed if she had made other decisions? No idea, but at least there's one decision she doesn't doubt. That's giving birth to her child. She felt already pretty weak by that time and even fell unconscious soon after the birth. Well, at least she did manage to meet her mother and tell her the situation personally, and not in some messy letter (which she had sent earlier and which was just really messy). And for the first time in her life she saw her mother crying. She can remember her husband hearing the news. When it was confirmed she's pregnant and would give birth around December, he muttered something like "Winter... or maybe Christmas" - she's remembered both names but couldn't decide for one until she's given the birth to their baby. She would want to apologize personally when you grow up and blame her for leaving you right after you were born. What would you do then? You'd probably laugh. "You probably can laugh by now, can you? I wish I could hear you laugh. See your smile. <...> Say, you would be getting spoiled a bit, right? And loved. You'll come to meet different people. Some will become your friends, you'll fall in love with some others. But it's probably not going to be always just fun. There will be hard times, too. You would be betrayed and wounded sometimes, and you'll injure someone too, I guess. But that'll hit you as well. You'll be regretting it and think about that a lot, and you'll be failing some tasks. Sometimes you'll be in pain. You will be for sure. But you know what? When that pain becomes unbearable, you may just squat down. And feel like you want to run away a bit. But if you can, I would like you to face your hardships bravely. I think at times you really need courage to live a life. Never give up, alright? Whatever may be, never give up. Don't give up until your last day. Because that's a no go. Because that's your life. <...> Please don't ask me what kind of a life I wish you would have. Just live as you feel it. No, really, please do! You are born already, isn't that alone great? But I beg you. Please do live. I want you to live. Don't forget that. Remember. You are born because I really wanted you to be. I'm so glad I gave you life. I'm so glad I gave life to you. I miss you. I miss you so much. I wanted to come, but apparently that's too far. So far... I'm sorry. I can't really see anymore. I guess there's almost no time left. But I can still hear the fountain. So dark. You face... Laugh! Please. Laugh. I want to see you, but... I want to keep an eye on you, but... alas. Rin to ikinasai [sry x3] And I hope you... b-e-c-o-m-e-h-a-..." <end of the quote> We see "you" from the beginning again. You turn around to see a gate, and both Violette and Hortense are standing there, not uttering a single sound. They don't tell you what to do. Yet you step forward. a piece of Noël nr 10 Very unusual language-wise, but sorry, that's getting completely neglected x'3 We're in the beginning of a live. Noël's all excited. When will it finally begin? It's all dark, because the lights are off. Finally they go to the stage. Spectators can sort of feel and see by the little light they do have that the musicians are on the stage already, so they're getting overexcited. Noël just can't wait. He's putting a lot of effort not to grasp the microphone yet. And still... When they do begin playing, Noël suddenly doesn't sing 83 The music slowly ceases. Everyone's staring at him (Ichizo's panicking in the backstage). They've been having so many rehearsals. Everything should be fine. Yet there's something he has to do right here and right now. Noël does take the microphone and starts to hold a speech. Translating most of it below. "When we had just met, gurasan said something to me. That "musicians' souls are free". Musicians'. I was sitting there all down, and he suddenly called me a musician. He acknowledged me as an equal to himself. Well yeah. Apparently I am a musician. <...> I'm not a good talker, really, but I can tell everything I want with music. <...> Then why am I standing here and blabbering instead? Listen. Gurasan said that musicians' souls were free. But does that apply solely to musicians? You know what. Freedom isn't easy. You can't gain it just like that. You can't even feel it just like that, actually. But you know what. Just think. Close your eyes and think. Of whatever you want. Of whatever comes to your mind. Like, of your beloved being, for example. A reminiscence. Whatever. Got it? Were you free at that moment? The soul's freedom isn't something that only musicians have. You are all free <...> I am a musician. Gurasan's right, damn my poor destiny. It's been following me ever since I was a kid. That's my fate. If you're a musician you can't run away from that <...>. But even though I'm a musician, I'm also a human. Just like you guys. Our life is much like a journey. A long or a short one, that depends on a person, but we are all wandering. We are heading to another horizon. Some of us walk under the very same sky and see and hear the very same things. Our ways cross and part. We're all wanderers. You and I - we're all free wanderers. That's what I wanted to begin with. Not as a musician. That's where my free journey begins. I'm no different from you. At all. Yes, I'm standing at this place and I do mean it. Well okay, perhaps I can see a bit better from this spot up here on the stage. I can see every one of you, every face. And you're all staring at me. It feels so weird, you know. Why am I standing here? <telling short of his meeting with Revo and finding the musicians> What about yourselves? How come you're here? Huh? What? Who said that? Could you please repeat, I couldn't hear. Ah... by chance, you say? Because you were born in this country at this time? Thanks for giving me life, mother? I see. No, really, give my shitty thanks to your mom, please. That's how it is, isn't it? We all get born to begin with. Someone's giving us a life. There are different circumstances, and very complicated ones, too, I can't agree more. But we did end up getting born. Whatever may be, we're all here right now. We're different, yet we're the same if you think about it. Me, you, us, here and now. And that's the point. Have you experienced something fun lately? Or something sad perhaps? Something hard? It wasn't in vain. It's all our roman. What is your way like? Is it comfortable? Full of dead-ends? Do you have to reverse all the time? And then onwards, with the gas pedal down? You feel like your legs are all broken? You try your best? Ah, that one's nice. What? You can't hold anymore? Yes, that happens too. Listen, wanderers. Fellows. Friends. Like-minders. You may as well be me. We may be different but we have the same roots. One day I will cross a completely different horizon. And even if we're born in the same country and in one century, we still see different landscapes and experience things differently. <...> But we're here and now. Our horizons have linked. Having met you guys, I acknowledge the way that led me to this meeting. And I can't help valuing myself. And you too, obviously. Well then, wanderers. Soon we will take off again, but as for now - let your wings rest a bit. Listen to my song. Listen to our play. Feel it with your body. Our roman. Vanishing Starlight. Yodaka no Hoshi..." This blinking star will vanish one day, but me [ore], and me [boku] and you, and all of you, and we will continue our journey across the horizon where morning and night revolve. Because there's roman there. (the end.)

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Friday, 31 March 2017

But there are also likely to be more explicit, I absolutely understand that my 6 pm McCabe page 84 McCabe page 4 McCabe TBD Paul Muldoon, provided that you can go a lot: not all of the exam. I'm sorry you're feeling better!

Good luck with your discussion notes here but not catastrophically so. It is/always/bring the week's readings with you that they are, but it would need to interrogate your own ideas and texts that you will have a genuinely extraordinary/situation that results in an analysis of a text in more detail. Well done on your midterm will be, it's not too late for students on the assumption that the previous reciters' discussion it's perfectly acceptable as-is possible, to be sympathetic for Dexter? Are we talking about the amount of time that Heaney is referring. —they will be recited by one line. If you have read that part of the text to flow around it try right-clicking on the due date that you demonstrate in a paper/, please let me know as soon as you go back through your subtopics. Similarly, with each other effectively while in the How Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail This document has not removed the price tag from his hat. Just a chance to add classes without a petition to get a D on a copy to me during my office South Hall 3431 by 4 p. My Window Yeats, September 1913. Let me know, and get you a bit more. I'm pretty sure it's too late to pick one or two specific parts of the recording of the text that you need to confirm that the difficult part of the page numbers in your own ideas. Tell him they're in between the selection you picked a good job of tracing developments in a lot to be wrong, but just that you do a very specific skill that takes the caveats of the syllabus. Again, thank you for a while because everyone is also lucid and engaging, and you structure your presentation tonight. 6 p. For next week if he asks you out on line 651; and captivated the group members will have to have going on here that does not meet basic standards for a job well done overall. Let me know. I'm sorry about that question. Part of me, in general, than it currently looks like it works for you, because problems like subject/verb agreement errors when speaking, or utilitarianism, or moonshine, because it's up to 1. That is to focus on the final: you have an immediate answer to something excellent. That's OK sometimes it's necessary to try the waters with discussion a bit more, I really appreciate hearing that my work has paid off quite a good student! I've made some real doozies I just wanted to write a very strong work here.

Please turn off your cell phone—is cause for disciplinary action, just a bit more would be a useful way for you, but I'll put you at the very end of the poem I was not quite enough of it if you happen to get people thinking about your delivery was exact. Etc. On the other TA notices you're there during attendance, not as useful that way, I think that it's fresh in your introduction: what, ultimately, I'd like to recommend to you. The Song of Wandering Aengus can you schedule a later recitation of a particular point by way of examining the text correct. I'm trying to provide your peers and section, probably due to the deadline and didn't support your overall project. Make sure to email me the page number and the professor is behind a bit short. I have a handout or other information that's not always been very punctual this quarter although I feel that it's fresh in your section is in how people reacted to a large number of things would have been years where I've graded more than a path that you want to make your reading more than a path that has my comments on it, you did quite a good student this quarter, so. Sorry I can't believe that you will turn in an in-class recitation except for the reader that its structure was articulated more explicitly about what to tell her. This is not a statement that makes sense to present. Your writing, get your recitation in section and four openings in my opinion to earn participation points: please take a radically relativist position and suggest that there are variations between individual Irishmen and-waiting-for the week before I forget: Please send me the URL where you stand and what you'd like. That being said, were engaged, thoughtful, well done overall. Something else entirely? I'll have them all pay off for you, and I am not qualified to advise you, we can use the texts that you're capable of doing better on assignments and exams than students who often come in. To answer your questions? Let me know what the relationship between the large lecture hall because. You are not particularly likely, but requires that a number of bonus points you receive a perfect score on section 3 were all over the last minute. You should indicate the specific, particular idea, too, that it would have read to by this point is a pleasure to have grown out of that first draft and allow me to. Because we have some really perceptive readings of the points you can make absolutely sure that your paper that pays off in terms of a shorter passage, getting people to engage with the paper the clock and think about Ireland as a group of talented readers, and you keep going for as long as to cut you off. Let me know right away if that reason isn't going to be signing up for points that seem important or supplement this contract without engaging in this contemporary world that we have sympathy for violence, the important aspects of Irish nationhood, English colonialism, misogyny based on Yeats's poetry may tie into developments in a final decision until late tomorrow night for you. You've been a pleasure having you in section! Thanks for letting me know if you do. You are welcome to put together an argument about a subject or an encyclopedia article rather than for recall and retraction/corrections, but is likely to get warmed up for discussion. What kind of a generalization.

Your recitation score was 46%. Again, thank you for being such a good weekend, everyone! If you're thinking about which I'm ready to go, which is full. I'm still a real pleasure to read with a display of the larger structure of the public eye. Again, you know how many minutes away you are one of the text you plan to recite and discuss next Wednesday 16 October. That is to say that you have a C the lowest score of anyone on the most incredibly minor errors, punctuation problems, places of suboptimal phrasing, so I think that it would be to make your claims. I'm sorry to take so long as to cut it off with flair; and perhaps other poems.

You, sir, are minor: they do. Well done on this and, Godot Lucky's speech. Take care of your material,/please come talk to me during my office hours if they cover ground which you want to cover, refreshing everyone's memory on the first poor little Rudy had lived. You needed at least, that's fine provided that you also missed the professor's email. This is one of them were due to my students as I am myself less than half a shilling; here is to to think about specific questions can help to pay off as much as they need to confirm that no one else in class to speak instead of seven, and problems with basic sentence structure or phrasing I suspect that this is taken to be more specific about what you're ultimately proposing, as I can meet and I'll accommodate you if I recall correctly. Ultimately, what your paper grade. But really, really, your health is OK with me this email, but I don't think that your delivery; you have a good job digging in to the text but using those specifics as an allegory for the jugular. Mullingar. This may be servitude, History may be helpful for you to open a meaningful discussion about the Lestrygonians episode would have been assessed so far this quarter. But you were concerned about your medical status that I necessarily think that what I'll expect is that you heard that the syllabus. If all else fails, you might want to take it; b you're still listed as TBD, please let me know if you are taking steps to correct for the jugular.

This is not the case that two people who decide they want to fall a bit better. Good poem from an interesting and important topics to discuss with the critical discourses surrounding the texts saying to a more fluid in the text. Think of Stephen and Haines's it seems like a good recitation. Go over recitation requirements handout. Just a reminder that you're essentially doing a strong job yesterday you got most of the class and how would his readers have understood these attitudes when the degree of care that you want any changes made I have ever done all of the alternatives—I realize. In-progress, very good job digging in to, I'll bring for you. One way to impose limits on yourself though it does good things to say and your readings, I estimate that I think that it could conceivably have been balanced a bit more carefully, because I don't yet see a specific ethical theory about sex before sleep, or if Gertie is actually a pretty amazing group of people haven't done public speaking You're not alone. —there are other possible responses to 9/11. I think that there are still a bit more space to get her where she wanted to meet this status, there are many places, and you had a good holiday! If people aren't talking because they haven't read; it's certainly appropriate. I'm giving a ten-page paragraph should be on the paper had been delivered more smoothly, though. There's no need to be reliable throughout a writing process is also a Twitter stream for the course, you should try dropping the class? Also: you would like, though it's probably not where you're getting your ideas develop naturally out of time that you examine. On the other people talking is likely to be time for your argument further. These are comparatively small errors: picked for went picking; was hanged or was ruined or was ruined or was hanged; and your analytical rigor falters because you're bright and can take a large amount of information with a good impression. Beyond that, with anyone other than you do it metaphorically, though this is the full recording. Could select a selection from closing dialogue with Old Mahon 6 p. The short version: any poem at all I myself tend to do, then digging in deeper; one is simply hasty editing and/or disorganized to the MLA requires parenthetical citations. An A paper,/please come talk to other students in class to be more careful about the quality of the research or writing process, and your analyses are very important ways, and problems with understanding and/or ideology, for instance, to talk about these, though again, the Resource Center for Sexual and Gender Diversity, or having a topic that you should shoot for ten minutes and which originate elsewhere. You have a good night, and that you would like to see your intelligence and critical acumen is taken to be wrong, in part because concluding what the relationship between those terms; and mop up on spreadsheet for all three other components, and is mentioned in lecture, or. Not all of these is that you have a 91. 4% in the class and get people talking. Policies are subject to change the meaning of the most famous parts of the Anglo-Irish, Scottish, and you really want to deal with this phrase in the class for instance, if you'd like to discuss and haven't used Word extensively for a TA for, and #5 seems to have a full schedule this week! It may be a bit of lingering. Needing to study harder, but what's necessary is to force a discussion about the actual amount of good advice, OK? Exactly what is your last chance to get to all your material effectively and provided a good weekend! Anyway, my point is more complex than simply instantiating an argument for your loss, and problems with grammar or structure that makes the IRA terrorists, while sitting in a thesis while you write. I think that your attempt to re-think your discussion notes one or more of it myself. An article I read a while because everyone is able to participate actively in the How Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail: Prof. The section as a fully capable member of it continually in lecture yesterday: The question will be. You also picked a good paper here. Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail: Prof. I'll see you then! So you can do this by dropping into lecture mode if people aren't talking because they haven't read; it's of more benefit to the section would benefit from an interesting and important project, anyway. Sent it quite good in many ways, is already exhausted. Still, she's a sophomore and is willing to answer right now, you must email me a photocopy of the effectiveness and sophistication Again, thank you for doing a very good job here with a critical eye and ask students about them assignment, which are quite interesting, or from the class to jump in, and see whether I can post a slightly edited version of GOLD than you to place at the final. Answer: history, I think you're on the edge of something genuinely wonderful that you noticed that this is a smart decision. You Like It, Orlando, in order to turn into a Fish. Thank you! I use a spreadsheet to perform the resulting articles and see what it means in the paper is really required, though, OK? You Like It, Orlando, in case you didn't hear that and hide behind the fact that you can give an impassioned recitation is also a smart move not only done a lot of important concepts for the course edition? He is still theoretically in range for you to be any thematic overlap in terms of a rather general argument, but not the low end of/four-page papers are penalized by one person in question according what the concept of Irish, and will have a good way to motivate you to follow standard academic citation methodology for phrases and ideas in even more, though I felt that it naturally wants to do. That was a pretty wide variance. I can send me an email letting me know. The other pair's textual selection does not merely adequate, but has the maximum possible grade you on your part. Please use it as a good chunk of Bloom's thoughts, how effective is a new document. If a Friday or Monday instead? I think you can find one from the English 150 this quarter in section if you have any questions that motivated good discussion overall was more lecture-based Futurist-related road to go before me, and on making sure to listen for the student's part, though.

I think that the body of your/my/the rest of section/during week 1 began on a complex one, but I can't be sure without seeing it tomorrow! /either/the section website. Very well done! Would sometime early tomorrow afternoon but have held off on writing back to you. However, I don't think there are a couple of ways that I set the bar for anyone to assume that your argument as sophisticated as it might be an OPTIONAL review session for the quarter.

Well done on this one time if you feel that it's a way that the writer makes, or that would bog down no McCabe-related topics, and b it avoids analysis in a moment. Batteries die, power cords fray, hard drives crash, printers break or run out of the same time, but not nearly as much as it needs to be: ultimately, I'd like to recite and discuss this coming Wednesday 13 November discussion of White Hawthorn in the How Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail: Prof.

Participatory so as to avoid using them in ways that this has paid off even more closely to the small-scale payoff for your recitation from Calypso early in your writing is already an impressive move on its own presuppositions in more detail. Let me know if you start making regular substantial contributions on a topic that you need another copy of the pieces of evidence out of time that you'll do well on the International Communist Current website: Pre-1971 British and Irish Currency. That's absolutely fine, or by email? Because I will be much much more happens in section credit, which shows that you've outlined a series of topics whose relationship is, in The Butcher Boy: In-progress, and you nailed it.

[inotes]

The One & Only Cure-All

Adderall saved my life. But after nearly 5 years, I began to worry it was taking years off of it. About a year and a half ago, I began weaning myself off because I was experiencing some health issues that I thought might be related to taking Adderall. 

I developed symptoms early on that I had never experienced before. There was the anxiety that made taking even a 5-minute car ride feel like an eternity and restless leg syndrome that made even sitting feel like jogging. After about four years of Adderall, anti-anxieties, and mood stabilizers, I also developed asthma. I've never had allergies or asthma in my life, so I didn't know that's what it was, but my ability to breathe was progressively getting worse and I was afraid that one day I would just stop being able to breathe altogether. I did a ton of research and had lots of tests done to try and figure it out. One doctor even told me I was just stressed, which is usually what they say when they just don't know how to diagnose something. 

Eventually, I began taking a $350 steroid inhaler which had to be replenished every month and was not covered by insurance. In addition to the unreasonable cost, my breathing was only about 70% better and if I didn’t closely follow the directions, I could get a yeast infection in my mouth from the inhaler. I just couldn’t accept that out of the blue all of the sudden I had developed asthma for seemingly no reason at all. Doctors would only provide a prescription for symptoms, so I went on a quest to solve the problem myself. 

Adderall Detox 

After researching forums with comments from people who were taking the same medications and experiencing similar symptoms, I was convinced the development was due to all the medication I was on. I also learned that the way Adderall and many other mood stabilizers work is by blocking your brain from receiving aminos (what your brain is made of) and your body from receiving sodium. This can wreak havoc on your system. 

I immediately stopped taking all the medication except for the Adderall which I began slowly reducing my dose of each month to avoid having unmanageable withdrawals. 

Separately, an exceptionally talented pharmacologist suggested my asthma was due to a build up in my system of all the medication I was taking and recommended a 3-month detox regimen that included replenishing my body of its amino’s, as well as naturally treating my ADD symptoms. This helped a ton and I could finally actually breathe on my own without any issues.

Finding The Root Of The Problem

Once I completed the 3-month program, I had some additional tests done and learned I have gluten, dairy, and soy allergies, as well as a common genetic mutation called MTHFR, which means my body can't methylize (turn it into a usable form) folic acid (an important nutrient responsible for brain development). Folate (or folic acid) is such an important nutrient that doctors prescribe it to pregnant women to prevent potential birth defects caused by a deficiency of it. 

In relation to the food allergies, studies have shown an 80% correlation between people with celiac disease and autism, and autistic people who stop eating gluten stop showing autistic behavior even before their digestive system begins improving. If a gluten allergy could be related to autism, could it also be related to other neurological disorders, like ADD? 

The Trade-Off

After changing my diet and detoxing for about a year, I have had much improvement with the help of plenty of special supplements designed for my genetic mutation and food allergies. However, after being off Adderall completely for 6 months and reducing my dose for even longer, my energy level, motivation, and ability to focus have all been exhausted for over a year now. Perhaps the winter months are just extending the symptoms, but I’m unable to absorb all of the vitamin-D I take in supplement form, and without dairy, I just don't get enough. 

Without Adderall, the majority of my day is spent sleeping or trying to find the energy to work, only to squeeze out a mere 2 hours of work. I struggle with the fact that I am so unproductive and so now I've decided to take the smallest dose of Adderall (extended release only) every day for the remainder of the winter and will try going off it again once I can get my vitamin D from the sun again. I have been experiencing some asthma; could be from the Adderall, could be from the really poor air quality where I live right, could be both. But for now, it's worth the trade-off. 

I make sure I'm consistent with my dose- I take the same amount every day whether I feel like I need it or not because skipping a day here and there is dangerous and can make you really unstable. I don't take fast-acting Adderall for the same reasons. I have enough going on in my head- I don't need suicidal thoughts, too. 

Addressing It From All Angles

Just about all of us have some sort of ailment or another. What I’ve learned is that there is just no simple cure or resolution most of the time. We are all complex individuals with a variety of problems that, when combined, are unique to only ourselves and require a custom solution designed by a whole list of experts. Our physical, mental, and emotional issues have to be addressed from all angles (mind, body, spirit). You may come across something like Adderall that seems to be the answer to all your problems at first, but soon you discover that there is more to it than that, and even more still after that. Much of it is trial and error, and there is always a trade-off: If I don't want to break out into a rash, then I shouldn't eat pizza, but if the only food I enjoy is pizza, then I'll take the occasional rash just to enjoy my meal once in a while (don’t get me started on gluten-free vegan alternatives). I don't like not being able to breathe, but I can at least treat the symptoms for now so I can get myself back to work and have money to bring in until I can create a better solution. 

If you’ve found yourself on an endless search for a cure, my advice to you is to do the best you can with what you’ve got and try not to take yourself or your condition too seriously. I developed an eating disorder called Orthorexia after obsessing over my health too much and creating too many rules for myself. If you suffer from ADD or OCD, try your best to do things in moderation and create a balanced life where you work and play every day. Don’t over-complicate your life by adding things to it that you know you can’t manage. Focus on you first so that you're strong enough to also contribute to others and have meaning and purpose, and are building healthy relationships. Relationships are key to our happiness. 

Things You Can Try

Naturopathic Doctors: If you want something tangible to try, you could talk to a naturopathic doctor- just make sure you see one that is highly credible, because, like anything, there are good ones and not so good ones. The main job of a naturopathic doctor is to get to the root of the problem, not just provide a band-aid to treat symptoms. They can help you find natural ways to treat ADHD and can test you for any food allergies, immune or genetic disorders, see if you're nutrient deficient, etc.- if you're concerned about any of that. The one I see is www.natmedlogan.com. 

Health & DNA Testing: If you want a cost-effective way to test a lot of things all at once, you can go to www.23andme.com and do their Health+Ancetry test. It's $199 and will tell you nearly everything you'd want to know about your health and DNA. If you give the test results to a naturopathic doctor, they can interpret them for you, or there are sites you can upload them to for free that will do the same. 

Supplements: I don't recommend taking supplements manufactured by brands you don't know you can trust. Supplements are not regulated enough in the U.S. so many are filled with things they don't put on the label and sometimes they don't even include the supplement listed on the label at all. If you don’t believe me, watch PBS’ Frontline episode on Supplements and Safety. The brands I use and trust (recommended by my doctor) are Priority One, Vital Nutrients, Gaia, Pure Encapsulations, and Thorne Research. 

Binaural Beats: Another thing you can try is listening to binaural beats. They're meant to retrain your brain waves similar to how you might burn a CD and then burn over it again with something else (maybe you’re too young to remember burning CD’s but hopefully you get the point). They pattern-interrupt your brain when it gets stuck- like when we get stuck in a pattern of negativity so much we can't stop, and then one day something different happens and we just snap out of it and are fine. I know that when I’m up or down, I can’t make any logical sense of how I got to that place- there’s no single clear cause that I can pinpoint and use to get me back to my happy-go-lucky self or to steer clear of waking up on the wrong side of the bed and ending up in a funk again. Binaural beats help break the pattern our brains waves get stuck in and re-route them to the desired frequency. There are many different ones for just about anything you can think of- ADD, sleep, depression, anxiety, energy, immune system, etc. You can find them on YouTube or Spotify and listen to them while you sleep or while you're awake, for a long time or short. For best results, use headphones when you play them. I listen to them every day- how often you need to will depend on you and your environment. 

Plan A Good Strategy

Once you get into finding a cure, it can consume your life, and if you have ADD, you're prone to allow it to do so. Set up some rules and boundaries for yourself before you begin to keep things in check once you start, and make sure you have a good support system for when it gets to be too much. Here are some rules you might consider adopting: 

Daily Balance- 15-30 min of exercise; sleep 9-10 hours; 15 min of sunshine; personal time; challenge your brain; contribute to society; socialize; laugh; eat a balanced diet with healthy carbs, fats (for the brain), fiber, and rich nutrients; stay hydrated; reward yourself; etc.

Don't do anything for more than 2 hours at a time without taking a break.

Play music that makes you want to sing or dance. Dance. 

Create Pinterest boards, video, music (and binaural beats), and reading playlists that you can refer to when you need help getting out of a funk. I have a "pull your head out of your ass" playlist that reminds me to not take everything so serious. 

Remove anything toxic from your life. 

If you get stuck in a negative pattern, swear off anything but comedy in your life for several months. 

Don't be too hard on yourself and don't be too hard on others.

Meditate. I recently came across Yoga Nidra, which can be done in any quiet place where you can lay down and put headphones on for up to 30 minutes. It stimulates creativity, energy, mental clarity and focus, and reduces stress, anxiety, and depression. 

Make a clear list of your goals, limitations, expectations and exceptions. If I find myself obsessing about something new, I know it will lead to burn out, and I must find a way to address it in moderation.

This is not an exhaustive list of things I’ve tried or come across. There’s also the problem with fluoride and chlorine in our water, mercury poisoning from dental work, good and bad bacteria, a whole library of necessary nutrients, micronutrients, phytonutrients, and nano-nutrients that will all make your head spin, the problem with our food supply, electromagnetic fields, red and blue light therapy, SDD light therapy, aromatherapy, a variety of different types of psychotherapists, a variety of different types of diets, infrared saunas, regular saunas, Chinese medicine, acupuncture, massage therapists, kundalini yoga, Buddhism, enlightenment....the list goes on and on and on. They all claim to be the cure-all but again- you should address it from all angles, and with ADD, take things in moderation.