#cyanicas

[palmettoshenanigans]

Promised I'd compile an Andreil Fic List from my bookmarks so here y'all go (everything is AO3)! List updated occasionally.

Favorites bolded in orange. Top Five marked with [#]

Short and Sweet/Angst and Read Several Times

"loving you is muscle memory" by Talls (sweet)

"boyfriend privileges" by mostly_maudlin (sweet)

"You Might Get It" by likearecord (light angst)

"Translation Errors" by SensationalSunburst (sweet like candy)

"This Roommates Bullshit" by likearecord (sweet)

"temper, temper" by Ominous (sweet and hilarious)

"Killer Bunny" by godless_writer (lil angst)

"Pumpkin Patch" by H_bee69 (sweet)

"Neil Josten Is a Lucky Man" by irls_goaway (sweet)

"Porcupines and Promises" by StellaLuna365 (sweet)

"Neptune" by kanekicure (sweet angst)

"What Did You Call Me?" by Fortheloveofexy (sweet n a lil hot)

"give or take" by bazookajo94 (sweet and funny)

"It's the Thought that Counts" by gluupor (sweet)

"hold your fire" by seasy33 (angst)

"Oh isn't it a bit of luck…" by Willow_bird (sweet and silly)

"Sweet Enough to Eat" by Fortheloveofexy (sweet angst)

"Bunny" by lady_flash (sweet and funny)

"Space In-Between" by kitausu (sweet)

"just curious" (series of 2) by gay_irl (sweet)

"Kisses on Scars" by rememberednoah (sweet)

"my whole life, too" by eeveepkmnfan (sweet)

"definitely something" by bazookajo94 (sweet n silly)

"in bars, in cars" by moonix (sweet)

"Do Not Disturb" by mostly_maudlin (angst n lil sweet)

Killing Me Softly With Their Love

"Not Nothing" by TheRainbowElectric

Broke My Heart and Left Me There To Rot

"I'll Take Care Of You" by Justthislazy

"Oh love, I'm sorry if I smothered you" by Ateiluj

Broke My Heart, Left Me To Rot, But Came Back With A Blanket and An Apology

"Odd Eye" by tdashshirts

They Find Each Other In Every Universe (AUs)

"fragile" by likearecord (Radio!AU)

"venus as a boy" by kybelles (Highschool!AU)

"Catfish" by likearecord (Catfish!AU)

"cocoa dust" by djhedy (Coffeshop!AU)

"The Calculus of Nocturnes" by fuzzballsheltiepants (Teacher!Andreil)

"Raised on Little Light" by maqicien (Wymack adopted Neil)

"Touch me, love me, leave me" by BakaDoll (Military!Andrew)

"buried" by bazookajo94 (Highschool!AU)

"And We'll Be Running" by allyasavedtheday (Band!AU)

"boy next door" by foodforworms (Neighbors!AU)

"Smokescreen" by bazookajo94 (Muse!AU???) [#4]

"waiting up for better things" by fuzzballsheltiepants (Guitar Player!Andrew)

"skin deep affection" by mitigates (Speed Dating!AU)

"in another life" by bazookajo94 (Accidental Pen Pal!AU)

"Armies" by nekojita (Mafia!AU) [#1]

"If You Love Me, Come Clean" by sundowne (Exchange Student!AU)

"at least we were electrified" by likearecord (Actor!Neil) [#2]

"Ripple Effect" by Watergaw for AgentCoop (Canon Divergence)

"we were together" (series of 3) by bazookajo94 (Canon Divergence)

"Tastes Like Gold" by pandaseek (Translator!Neil)

"The Gaslights Burn Brightly" by This_Witch_Writes (Met in Baltimore!AU)

"wreck my plans" by Willow_bird (College!AU)

"he's a nightmare" by likearecord (camp!AU)

"april showers, april snow storms" by ephemeralsky (soulmate!AU airport edition)

"prophetic" (series of 2) by Ominous (childhood friends!AU)

THEY TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER YOUR HONOR

"say something" by Willow_bird

"i’m gonna find my ghost that’s lost in outer space" by cyanica

"lost in the process (out at sea)" by cake_lovin_ace

"The Drowning" by minyardlovebot

"I hate you" by All_for_the_andreil

"A Quiet Night" by kccastner

"Overcome" by czenzo

"The grass between us (the mud under our feet)" by unojonex

"Not a Monster, Just a Human" by ms_masago

"Will you love me for who I am, not for who I was?" by something_boring

"There Now, Steady Love" by jingerhead

"side effects may vary" by willadisastercry

"Neil Fights the Foxes" by This_Witch_Writes

"Tell Me Where To Touch You" by Fortheloveofexy

"Beware Becoming My Partner in Madness" by Justthislazy [#5]

THEY FUCK EACH OTHER YOUR HONOR

"louder than bombs (i break)" by mitigates

"Beautiful" by WhenInDoubtSleep

"attitude problems" by greywarenlynch

"hold on" by starwarned

"Need You Now" by NikNak22

THEY TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER AND FUCK EACH OTHER YOUR HONOR!!!

"Muscle Memory" by elesary

Did Someone Say Fantasy AU????

"Andrew Minyard and the Intricacies of Faerie Wooing" by carminesunset (Fae!AU)

"monster (under my bed)" by scribbleb_red (Demon!Neil)

"Into The Woods" (series of 7) by Ominous (Werewolf!Andrew) [#3]

"anywhere. everywhere." by moonix (Demon!Andrew)

"Auburn Wings and Golden Dreams" by doodlingstuff (Angel! Neil)

THE FUCKING GAUNTLET

"Blame It on My Youth" by youreyestheyglow (1 million+ words) [#Honorable Mention - for the culture]

[all-for-the-recs]

Chapters: 1/1 (COMPLETE)

Words: 2,081

Author's summary:

"You know me,” Andrew says. “Do you know you, Neil?”

Neil blinks at him, empty. He doesn’t recognise his name.

“I…” Neil falters a moment, breaking his gaze, and looking down at his own body like he expects to find something else. He checks his own pulse, two fingers to the side of his wrist. Neil looks up at Andrew after a few seconds of murmuring numbers, not quite frowning but almost. “I feel gone,” he says. “Is my – am I here?”

Or Neil has a dissociative episode, and Andrew contemplates the terrifying ordeal of memory and being known and not. He also brings Neil back. That too.

aaand unlike the last one this one was a lot sweeter than i expected (still check tags tho) the summary says it all. i loved this. and i also like a lot of cyanica's works! so go check 'em out if you enjoyed this fic!

[hetamazement]

Hello friends!!! I have had the amazing opportunity to work alongside an amazing writer for this year's ( @aftgbigbang ) AFTG Big Bang!!!

(click for better quality!)

Here are some pieces I drew specifically for Cyanica's fic found below!

Please give it a read I swear you're gonna cry!

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Ambiguous/Undefined Relationship Masterlist

A Bad Case of the Jitters (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase (BirbWatcher)

Summary: Phil has night-before jitters with the release of tatinof coming tomorrow, but Dan is there to comfort him, as ever.

Appreciation Letters (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Two different chapters, showing each perspective.

Dan sits down to write about his life with the most amazing man he knows and how much he values all that he’s done for him.

Phil sits down to write about how thankful he is for the guy, who persistently commented on his early videos and the life they’ve built together.

banter™ (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: A normal conversation in the Phlat.

{ also }

Dan and Phil reply to a tweet asking if they're gay.

Counting stars (ao3) - xlogophile

Summary: Phil really likes Dan's sun-freckles, basically.

"Did you ever doubt your dreams will ever come true?" (ao3) - natigail

Summary: As Phil reads out the question, Dan’s involuntary reaction is to smile and glance towards him. He hides it pretty well during the live show but as soon as it’s over, he begins to fully appreciate that his dream did come true

Don't do it again (ao3) - winstonlives

Summary: Dan just reached 6 million subscribers. Causes a little irritation between the guy's, but not for the reason one might think.

Freckles and Constellations (ao3) - xlogophile

Summary: Phil wakes up to the tickling of what he assumes is a pen tracing shapes on his back. He was hoping to sleep in a bit more after a late night of gaming but art demands sacrifices, I guess.

Fuck Your Cereal (ao3) - cyanica

Summary: Four times Dan got justice for his cereal, and one time where Phil won their prank war using a person's certain first video... that's still on the internet for some reason.

I Will See (ao3) - hahasami

Summary: They're best friends, but nobody knows, not the drama elective he started a year later, and not really himself.

...until he lets it happen.

(it being that weird warmth in his chest)

in another universe (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: This was it. Phil wasn’t sure what it was, but he felt that it was now or never. He lifted his gaze and focused on Dan, the intensity with with which he did seemingly disturbing his flatmate. Dan eyed him dubiously, and before the other could open his mouth, Phil was blurting, “Let’s fuse.”

Dan blinked, then blinked again, looking as if he were about to say something before thinking better of it and simply staring with knitted brows. “You’re serious?” he finally asked apparently upon noting the lack of mirth on Phil’s face.

“Yeah,” Phil replied firmly, though he wrung his hands nervously in his lap.

intermediately versed in your own feelings (ao3) - templeofshame

Summary: They’re down to ten days and Phil just wants to be excited. He wants to tweet 10 days!!! or 9 soon =] and ramble at Dan on Skype and go to sleep eager for time to get on with it. He doesn’t want to be staring at Dan’s Twitter, scrolling up and down through Tweets and replies, trying to decode them in a way that doesn’t make anything in his gut sink.

Just Take A Shower (ao3) - phandoe

Summary: Dan is depressed. Phil loves him.

Morning Routine (more or less) (ao3) - MagicAndConstellations

Summary: Phil steals Dan’s cereal, Dan retaliates, the tags speak for themselves

of all new things, you were my favourite (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan is a curious non-binary alien who doesn’t understand human culture but really likes to wear pastel pink skirts. And aliens, Phil learns, are a lot to handle – or maybe that’s just Dan.

On Tour Bus Beds (ao3) - katiecal1013

Summary: “Best buddies can share a bed!” - Phil Lester, 2024

Right Where You're Meant to Be (ao3) - fisshhhh

Summary: Dan just got back from being on tour for 2 and a half months.

Ten Things (ao3) - thatsmistertoyou

Summary: Ten things Dan and Phil know about each other, and one thing they don't.

[themculibrary]

Enemies to Lovers Masterlist 3

part one, part two

15 Things to Do in NYC If You've Been Stuck in an Ice Berg for 70 Years (ao3) - gogglor steve/tony T, 39k

Summary: Tony and Steve can't stand each other, but they agree for the sake of the team and the people that rely on them that they have to figure out a way to get along. So they come up with a plan to spend time together, in the form of a Buzzfeed listicle of things to do in New York City.

Because if you go to enough museums with the guy you can't stand, you should eventually stop hating him, right?

Come for the slow burn, stay for everyone's opinions on Cats the musical and a story about teenage Tony stealing an ice cream truck in an attempt to get laid.

A Treasured Guest (ao3) - 27dragons bucky/tony T, 18k

Summary: Despite all of Tony’s genius, the warband known as the Avengers has conquered Tony’s hometown. When the town’s stores fall short of the tithe the Avengers demand, Tony volunteers to become part of the tribute, enslaving himself to the Avengers’ warlord to save the townspeople from starvation. He braces for the worst, but neither the Winter Soldier nor the Avengers are what he’s always been told they would be.

Checkmate (ao3) - starbunny steve/bucky T, 33k

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a SHIELD agent who had to be put on leave after an unfortunate incident during a mission left him temporarily Gift-less.

Steve Rogers was a cold, bitter man who had a history and a strong penchant for hating SHIELD agents.

Both were just minding their own business when they suddenly bumped into each other on the street. Needless to say, things did not go well.

(Also the meet-ugly AU with a sprinkle of magic and a whole bucket of angst)

Gone Before Light (ao3) - Laily loki/stephen G, 2k

Summary: Kisses stolen and given in secret may be bitter but Stephen will keep on stealing, and Loki will keep on giving…as long as Stephen does not ask him to stay.

Healing Heart (ao3) - scottxlogan bucky/tony T, 13k

Summary: After facing a dangerous threat to his future Tony reflects on the five times Bucky rescued him through their time spent together as they evolve from enemies to lovers along the way. Meanwhile Bucky reflects on the one time that Tony rescued him and turned his world around.

heed the path that led me to that place (ao3) - Fluffypanda steve/tony T, 6k

Summary: When SHIELD hires Tony for a mysterious project, he ends up embroiled in a secret conflict that intertwines with his past in more ways than one. However with no one at SHIELD is happy to have him there, especially the former Captain America, Tony has to prove he has what it takes to fight this battle.

Hold Me Like a Grudge (ao3) - Gryffindancer darcy/loki E, 12k

Summary: Darcy and Loki hated each other. Like visceral, deep, serious hate. Turns out, that type of energy has a way of building until it explodes.

Enemies to… well, “lovers” is a bit of a strong word.

it’s all my fault that i'm still the one you want (ao3) - cyanica sam/bucky G, 1k

Summary: Sam spoke first, lips rosy and slick, just close enough to Bucky’s own for him to feel the warm air brush against his cheek. "Damn,” he breathed, “you’re a lot more concussed than I thought."

Or there’s a different kind of hate in hating Sam Wilson, Bucky thinks as Sam washes his hair, that maybe isn’t really hate at all.

lane lines (ao3) - sparkagrace steve/bucky M, 132k

Summary: Steve Rogers has spent his entire life swimming and now is poised to take the Wakanda 2024 Olympics by storm. The only thing he’s missing is a friendly rival to help get him there. Enter Bucky Barnes, who doesn’t seem to take the sport quite as seriously despite his raw and enviable talent.

Steve hates him. Bucky doesn’t care. That makes Steve hate him more.

- aka: the Olympics swimming AU that nobody but me asked for

Love is a Dagger (ao3) - TallGlass sam/bucky, wanda/vision, tony/pepper E, 6k

Summary: It started in Europe. Sam found Bucky, they fought, they fucked, they never talked about it.

Mine (ao3) - LupusDragon loki/tony M, 2k

Summary: Another day, another fight between Loki and the Avengers. Only, this one is different, and Tony thinks he knows why.

Modern Warfare (ao3) - Kayah371 loki/steve T, 12k

Summary: Due to an unlucky series of events Steve and Loki end up stranded together across the galaxy, captured by the Collector.

While trying to escape together Loki learns that he may not be the only one good at tricks and Steve realizes that the shield is not his best weapon.

Payment Plan (ao3) - Nny bucky/clint T, 6k

Summary: "What did I do to you?" he asks rhetorically, batting the knife away with the frying pan, the screech of metal scraping against metal squawking feedback through his aids. He doesn't think he's met the guy before, but it's not unheard of that he'd piss of someone he's never met. It's the kind of thing he'd do.

playing nice (ao3) - ghoultown wanda/vision E, 214k

Summary: “What’s your name?” she asks.

He opens the door wider in reply.

Wanda doesn’t move.

The man bends to root through a cupboard instead.

“I don’t have anything in,” he reaches into the shelves, half of him disappearing inside, “Not much to offer you in the way of hospitality.”

“Yeah,” she studies him, rubbing her fingers together. “Ghosts don’t drink, do they.”

A bottle of cheap liquor. He tosses it a bit in his hand, turning it, inspecting it, grinning at the label.

“Think I’m a ghost, do you?”

-

Following a sudden appearance of a strange red power, Wanda begins killing men to take the edge off. Her first kill in London doesn't go as she'd hoped.

Still Holding On (ao3) - kittyhazelnut loki/tony T, 129k

Summary: "I have built dozens of holes in this plan," Loki hisses. "Find them."

When Loki tries to sabotage his own plan, the only reasonable explanation Tony can think of is that he wants to go back to Asgard, and that alone is more than enough reason to keep him on Earth. Tony reluctantly agrees to keep Loki in Stark Tower just long enough for Thor to talk to his father about how to proceed.

His visit ends up lasting much longer.

then again, maybe not (ao3) - gutsforgarters steve/bucky M, 4k

Summary: Steve shifts his weight. “Alright. What do you want?”

The Soldier sticks out his chin, defiant. “A kiss.”

This, Steve thinks, may not be the weirdest day he's ever had, but it is definitely, definitely, a very heavy contender.

The Safer Course (ao3) - seapigeon steve/bucky M, 7k

Summary: When Steve moves to the suburbs in 2033, he intends to retire from superhero life.

He does not intend to fall in love with his pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

The Sweet Escape (ao3) - AndySkull loki/sylvie E, 50k

Summary: Sylvie's attempt to bring down the Assassin's Syndicate is frustrated by their latest addition, Loki, who instead of finishing the job, takes the opportunity to run away from the Syndicate and tag along with Sylvie, the rogue assassin he was sent to kill.

They'll need to work together for survival, and to bring down the Syndicate while discovering new found feelings for each other.

Wednesday (ao3) - Mermaid_in_space tony/stephen M, 25k

Summary: Tony fights Strange and his weird wizards on a regular basis. So when he is woken up by Jarvis and being told Strange is sitting in his kitchen, waiting to talk to him, Tony just knows that something is not right. What he does not know yet is that it will be a string of very long days.

We're in this Together (ao3) - zenkitty555 stephen/karl T, 50k

Summary: Stephen Strange comes back to a very different Earth than the one he left. Now he has to pick up the pieces, but finds himself coming face to face with a friend turned foe. As they both try to figure out where they fit in one another’s lives, they find themselves on a path they must walk together.

[allforthegamebingo]

All for the Bingo Queue Update - 29/03

(we have canceled all the card requests which were made for a different fandom as this is AFTG focused)

Finished Cards (that were sent out today) : 14 - dvrcos, Jane, Tae(1), Tae(2), unrequitedloveisabitch, cyanica(1), cyanica(2), char, tara, jane, chuubee, foxywrites(1), foxywrites(2), foxywrites(3)

Cards In Queue: 00

Total Sign-Up's: 31

🦊

Total Cards Sent Out: 17

Sent Out on Mar 1: 02 - ghostinthestalls, catasterisms(1)

Sent Out on Mar 10: 06 - born-to-riot(1), born-to-riot(2), born-to-riot(3), catasterisms(2), britt, Geneat

Sent Out on Mar 11: 04 - Fire Bear(1), Fire Bear(2), mia, leo/lacklustrelion

Sent Out on Mar 12: 05 - Meg, Aquared46, sturmdunkel, luvbug, jane

[jostenian]

cyanica on ao3 is like a mother to me

[phantaloon]

@mx-misty-eyed​ i bring gifts :) (i should be studying but shhh)

so here they are, after looking through too many bookmarks, mostly fluff some angst, definitely spoiler free, but i have so many more for when you’re done with the three books lmao

short fluff fics strictly andreil centric 

he’s the best by livelaughlovelemons

Translation Errors by SensationalSunburst

men, abort mission (that is the silver lining in my cloudy disposition) by quensty (slight spoilers but honestly without context they make no sense)

Better than a Blanket, Your Coat by pawnofkings (angsty at the start but it gets better!)

i left my body back in cali, i’m not bothered to return by cyanica

Pointless by maqicien (fluff and crack lmao)

fluff with slight angst, not andreil centric but kinda nicky centric kinda neil centric

Direct Lines to The Heart by SensationalSunburst

fluff light angst not entirely sure this is spoiler free lol but it’s one of my favorites!

take me by the hand (and we can sign some papers) by wings_g_leviosa

i hope you like them! i have so many more for you for when (and if you want to) read the rest!

[crackers4jenn]

I saw a post from @5x14 reccing their favorite spn amvs and I had to hop immediately on that train because if there's anything I love it's a fanvid. The oldest spn vid I've got saved on youtube is from 13 years ago so! There will def be some classics in here.

Cosmic Love (Team Free Will vs the Agents of Fate) by Affably Evil. Speaking of classics! This vid highlights how dang effective the angel plotline was very early on in spn, especially when the show had the budget to back it up with sfx.

i gave you my heart by Soledad. This is a destiel vid, but it's also just a really fucking beautiful Cas study, hitting the 'too much heart was always Castiel's problem' note hard. Soledad is so good at layering dialogue over paralleled scenes in the most soul-crushing way, and that happens so beautifully in this video.

looking too closely by markpng. This is another Cas POV destiel vid, with emphasis on everyone telling Cas he's broken and lost and Dean swooping in with the "so what???" A++

i left, but you didn't stop me by cyanica. This has every meaningful line of destiel-related dialogue (pre-confession) coming at you in the span of 3 and a half minutes and BOY is that effective. I'm such a sucker for parallels and this video stacks them one on top of the other its entire duration.

no light, no light by sidecar ER. This is an animatic that cycles through all the big Dean and Cas moments and adds a few inferred ones as well. I can't imagine the work that went into this, but the payoff is an amazing vid.

the crack in his chassis by cirengranger. If you peep the comments on the vid, a lot of them call this a masterpiece and that is a fitting title. The song is "for blue skies" and it has this slow build that gets more intense as it goes, and it's the same with the clips and voiceovers used. If you want to just sit and experience destiel emotions for a few minutes, let it be this video you sit with.

i'm good with who i am by LEVA, aka the video jackles should use as an awards submission. The appeal of Dean as a character is that he's sooooo sad and self-loathing, even if half the time you hate him for his choices. He makes those choices because he's just a sad lil guy! His walls are hiked up so high, no one can ever get in, but the thing is he WANTS people in. This video perfectly encapsulates that, but as a warning it will also make you bummed out all over again that, after everything, he got the ending he always thought he would.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

i didnt have it in myself to go with grace

by cyanica The agony of it all is choking him. Jason can’t speak. With tired words, he tells Bruce, “I died.” The same terribleness cuts across Bruce’s face. “You didn’t die. You had a seizure.” “No. I died, ‘m dead,” Jason whispers, lying on the ground. Jason Todd never left the warehouse, caught amongst the in-betweens of those infinities where the red numbers had counted down until they didn’t. Or Jason has a seizure. Bruce is there with him. Words: 5301, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake (DCU) Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Epilepsy, Seizures, Head Injury, Chronic Illness, Sick Jason Todd, Sickfic, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Panic Attacks, Brain Damage, Vomiting, Traumatic Brain Injury, Wetting, Bathing/Washing, internalized ableism, Hurt Jason Todd, Jason Todd is Robin, Kid Tim Drake (DCU), Past Child Abuse, Good Parent Bruce Wayne, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Protective Jason Todd, Fix-It via https://ift.tt/CuMsO5L

[lolhazard]

This post reminds me of this fic lol

i feel like neil is a smidge illiterate. not dyslexic (if you hc him that way then that's valid i ain't gonna say you're wrong) but, like, he doesn't know how to read well. he sees a big word in a book and he's like 'WTF DOES THAT SAY???' then he searches it and hears the pronunciation and is like '???? that's is NOT how you say that word (disbelief)' idk i just feel like he didn't read much on the run, naturally, and his schooling was a bit iffy. he probably has the reading grade of a 9-10 year old, and completing his classes is a struggle for a few years. andrew helps, tho, and so do some of the other foxes

[bucksbisexual]

BAM! You've been hit with a love dart! Spread the love and send this to 10 other people to show how much they are loved! - roa i watched a not me bts and off said OH MY GOD in the same way he does in theory of love and i literally paused it bc i thought of u and was so fuckin happy DFHKJGHLJKD i hope ur doing well, so many giant hugs to you!!!!!!

ALEXAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i miss u so much :-(((( i don't recall rn how he said it in tol (maybe i need to rewatch 👁👄👁) but 🥺🥺🥺 i love u so much, i hope you're doing amazing loml 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Angst Sickfics Masterlist

A Heart That's Broke (Is a Heart That's Been Loved) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan opens his eyes just a bit. “If I didn’t wake up tomorrow, is there anything you’d wished you told me?” He murmurs, and Phil’s body goes tense. Bile rises into his throat and he’s got uncomfortable tingles in his chest.

Dan has cancer, and Phil tries to stay positive.

as in olden days (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Phil doesn't remember their life together anymore and Dan knows he never will.

before/after (ao3) - katesofheaven

Summary: Dan and Phil have a dying daughter and they deal with it in different ways, both before and after she goes.

breathe in, breathe out (ao3) - darkesthorizon

Summary: Dan never thought he'd have to live without Phil, but sometimes he thinks wrong.

By the way, I adore you. (ao3) - lxzyfangirl

Summary: Dan is very sick, and the future is not looking too bright for him, thankfully, he has Phil, his best friend, to accompany him through it all. But is Dan satisfied with being just friends?

comfort pillow (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: maybe it's worth getting ill to trek across the city in the rain to see his boyfriend.

flooded lungs (ao3) - bethica

Summary: the usual 2009, long-distance meeting story- but Dan has Hanahaki disease, where unrequited love causes someone to cough up flowers, until the love becomes requited... or they suffocate.

Dan is angsty, phil is sweet, and yellow tulips are everywhere.

tw: blood, vomiting, references to depression/suicidal thoughts

I Don't Care If You're Contagious (I Would Kiss You) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: based off of Dan’s video I NEARLY DIED (not).

The joys of Flucloxacillin and Dan’s other miscellanious adventures when his stomach infection turns out to be something more.

Incapable of Letting Things Go (ao3) - Merrydith

Summary: When you live with someone for as long as Dan and Phil had, every object retains sediment that can't be thrown away. Especially if you still feel some sort of way towards the memory or the thought the object represents. It pained Phil to watch Dan chuck things that still held so much sediment to him. Letters in green envelopes and CDs that contained songs like “Interrupted by Fireworks” and “Toxic”. Phil winced when Dan crumbled the drawing he had done for Dan when his Skype microphone broke that one time. He hoped Dan didn't notice his overly eager offer to take the trash out, solely to fish a few of these objects out. Pressing the objects to his chest, he'd sneak them away into a box of his own and call it a good deed. Saving the memories of their relationship because Dan wouldn't do it himself.

But what happens when Dan comes across this box and Phil feels like he's about to throw up?

Itching with Jealousy (The Chicken Pox Fic) (ao3) - Merrydith

Summary: Dan and Phil go to LA to spend some time with their good friend Anthony. But what happens when Phil's bad luck gets him sick and he has to listen to the love of his life fall for another guy?

one of those days (ao3) - nivi_chip

Summary: Phil has a dizzy spell and Dan takes care of him.

Or, Dan is the man with the plan (rip the stereo shows imy)

safety symptoms (ao3) - lilyxxxooo

Summary: dnp get their vaccines and someone isn’t taking it very well

The Bucket List (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil has cancer, and a bucket list to complete before it all becomes to much. Follow the story of Dan, and their friends making Phil's last months on earth the best he's ever had. [Abandoned, if you want to complete it, you're welcome to, just contact me first]

the hardest part of this (is leaving you) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan Howell is dying. He has terminal cancer, and is living out his last few months in a hospice care facility. But, when he starts a relationship and falls in love with his hospice nurse, Phil, it becomes all too hard to say goodbye.

these violent delights of love (ao3) - cyanica

Summary: Dan is hopelessly in love, Phil’s seemingly oblivious and they’re on a world tour just to make things more chaotic.

And yet, the Gods, or the Ruler of the Universe, or whoever the hell was in charge decided Dan needed to die in the end, too. Currently, leaning over the porcelain throne of shit and piss was the Gods' human voodoo doll, throwing up the contents of his unfortunate Indian dinner – and significantly more alarming than that: black tulips. Fucking flowers. This wasn’t real life.

To Live and Let Go (ao3) - raisedufromperdition

Summary: Upon his diagnosis of a terminal illness, Dan vows to spend the rest of his short life with Phil by his side, completing his bucket list while learning what it really means to live and love.

Under Pressure (ao3) - Terpia

Summary: Dani is struggling with law school assignments, and Fiona is determined to do her best to help her. Unfortunately, life has slightly different plans for her.

We Were Born Sick (You Heard Them Say It) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: “Once upon a time, there was a little boy who always wanted to love another little boy. One day, he finally found that love and it was wonderful. I’m supposed to use gloves. I’m supposed to do this. I’m supposed to do that. I’m supposed to not kiss him. I’m not supposed to be only 45 years old, and taking care of a 35 year old young man who’s a hundred years old and dying. […] He’s fine, he gets sick, he gets better, he gets sicker. He’s afraid I’ll leave him. I told him I wouldn’t leave him, that I never for one second would think of leaving him, but he doesn’t believe me. It’s hard to believe in much these days. But we must never stop believing in each other.”

White Walls (ao3) - daisyxhead (orphan_account)

Summary: Here he was, Dan Howell, age twenty three, the luckiest guy on the planet.

[palmettoshenanigans]

HERE YOU ANIMALS

"last piece of gold" by bazookajo94

"Back to the Start" by fuzzballsheltiepants

"loving you is muscle memory" by Talls

"i’m gonna find my ghost that’s lost in outer space" by cyanica

( @bisexualchaosdemon @literarylarkspur @tell-me-your-vision )

My #1 AFTG fic Guilty Pleasure Indulgence is amnesia fics.

Andrew gets temporary amnesia and can't believe this weird scarred up man with blue eyes knows him so well. Can't believe this random dude keeps practically biting doctors for touching him without asking. Why is his perfect memory failing him? Who is this pipedream? What did Present Him manage to do to get a guy like this to stick around???

Neil gets temporary amnesia and why is he in a hospital and where is his mom and his duffle, he has to go they found him they found him they found him - oh who is this pretty boy and why does he radiate Safety Incarnate? Okay he'll lay down yeah sure, honey eyes whatever you say. Should they be running? Staying is an option?

Gets me every time

[themculibrary]

Panic Attacks Masterlist

Driving Lessons, or the first time Peter Parker sees Tony Stark have a panic attack (ao3) - WhimsicalEthnographies T, 3k

Summary: Tony was already nervous, and Peter really needs to learn how to read the room.

falling in love at a coffee shop (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor cooper/peter T, 2k

Summary: After the events of No Way Home, Peter finds himself working at a coffee shop in order to distract himself from no longer having MJ and Ned in his life. Then, a customer by the name of Cooper Barton shows up and turns Peter's life upside down.

Hibiscus (ao3) - Abdominable_1222 tony/stephen T, 2k

Summary: Tony Stark has a panic attack and the only person to pick up the phone is Stephen Strange.

i don't need serotonin if i can just have your hand (ao3) - cyanica sam/bucky T, 3k

Summary: "Can I… Can I hold your hand?” He reached out, human and warm in the sunlight that shone upon Sam in a kind of iridescence that was all-consuming. His eyes were half-lidded and glassy, the twilight dawn breaking all over the atmosphere as he watched it devote itself to Sam’s presence like each spec of dust caught within the sunshine were fireflies addicted to his glow. “Something – something else to know what's real if I wake up and can't remember.”

Or making amends doesn’t lie within old evils, but rather new loves.

Lock & Key (ao3) - demonsonthemoon bucky/clint G, 2k

Summary: Two nights. Two motels. Two times Bucky and Clint have trouble finding rest.

Two times the cuffs reappear.

Messed Up (ao3) - Quillium N/R, 1k

Summary: Peter has a panic attack, and Ned is there for him.

Scars, Dirt and Doghair (ao3) - mollynoble bucky/clint T, 5k

Summary: Life has been rough for Barnes and Barton. It's been one raw deal after another, but they have survived and now want to use their experience to help others. Which is how they both end up in Introduction to Social Work, 250. Well Barnes' is here, Barton's running late...

shake and shiver (ao3) - OnlyForward T, 2k

Summary: tony has a panic attack in the middle of an avengers meeting after a fight where something triggering happens. no one notices...except peter.

storm incoming (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor clint/steve/tony N/R, 1k

Summary: Clint is terrified of storms, has been for as long as he can remember. But now, he has two alpha's to comfort and protect him from the storms, even though he sometimes forgets and needs reminding. Also, Bucky's there, because I thought it would be cute.

tend to shatter (ao3) - sandyk mj/peter M, 3k

Summary: First, Peter has an awful experience. Then second, he has a scary recovery. Then third, he ends up triggered but he has MJ and Ned and May to help him.

The 5 Times Peter Parker Had A Panic Attack (ao3) - unhoes harry/peter, peter/gwen, mj/peter, wanda/vision, peter/liz T, 6k

Summary: TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACKS!!!!! These are the five times that Peter had panic attacks and someone was usually there to comfort him after. These chapters are based on my own panic attacks. This is me venting all of my anxiety through my favorite boi.

The Terror That Flaps In the Night (ao3) - GingerAnn G, 910

Summary: Bucky is having a panic attack and Clint is the only one around to help.

Tony Stark's A Plus Parenting (ao3) - artisticpartisnn G, 838

Summary: Tony Stark helps Peter through a panic attack

When The Fight is Over I Will Be There (ao3) - macfanfic steve/tony N/R, 1k

Summary: Tony Stark has a panic attack and Steve Rogers helps him through it.

You Are Ours (We Are Each Other’s) (ao3) - Jammit_Sammy tony/stephen G, 1k

Summary: Tony Stark has a panic attack while his husband is away, and his son Peter is the only one home.

[allforthegamebingo]

All for the Bingo Queue Update - 06/04

(we have canceled all the card requests which were made for a different fandom as this is AFTG focused)

Finished Cards (that were sent out today) : 03 - Wolonite, Ash(1), Ash(2)

Cards In Queue: 00

Total Sign-Up's: 34

🦊

Total Cards Sent Out: 31

Sent Out on Mar 1: 02 - ghostinthestalls, catasterisms(1)

Sent Out on Mar 10: 06 - born-to-riot(1), born-to-riot(2), born-to-riot(3), catasterisms(2), britt, Geneat

Sent Out on Mar 11: 04 - Fire Bear(1), Fire Bear(2), mia, leo/lacklustrelion

Sent Out on Mar 12: 05 - Meg, Aquared46, sturmdunkel, luvbug, jane

Sent Out on Mar 29: 14 - dvrcos, Jane, Tae(1), Tae(2), unrequitedloveisabitch, cyanica(1), cyanica(2), char, tara, jane, chuubee, foxywrites(1), foxywrites(2), foxywrites(3)