#cw: anything else bc i'm not sure what else could count but there is likely more

[7-deadly-cats]

killing me softly (part one)

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!introverted!kook!reader

cw: swearing, very indirect subtle mention of sexual activities (no actual scenes), mention of drug usage (no actual scene)

synopsys: it's the last year of high school and y/n is paired up with rafe cameron for a 2 week project in art class. this wouldn't be a problem if y/n wasn't awkward as hell and well ... if there wasn't her big fat crush on him.

word count: 2144

a/n: i haven't written this kind of stuff since like 8th grade (i recently graduated from university sooo yeah) but i kinda felt like it now and idk. there are so many smut involved fics on here (which isn't bad, i just need more softer slow burn stuff). not saying there won't be any smut in future parts hihihihi. also i have no clue how the american school system works (i'm from europe) so pls just accept this lol. and kelce's last name is statter bc apparently it was never mentioned in the show. anyway, this is for all my introverted and overthinking girlies (who may or may not be little freaks) <3

*****

Fuck my life.

That was the only thing on your mind as Mr. Smith announced the partners for the upcoming two-week art project. In pairs, you were supposed to create a reinterpretation of the Greek gods.

The assignment wasn’t the problem. In fact, it actually sounded kind of fun. But your partner? Yeah, that was the real issue.

Fucking Rafe Cameron.

Of all the people in this class, it had to be him. You didn’t even know why he'd chosen this class. Rafe was probably the last guy you’d expect to take an art elective—well, right after Kelce Statter.

He'd probably thought it was an easy class to boost his GPA. Rookie mistake.

Okay, whatever, it was just a small project. You could handle this.

NO, YOU COULDN’T, HOLY SHIT.

The thought of working with Rafe Cameron made your skin crawl. In all your years at Kildare Academy, you'd maybe exchanged two words with him—and that was only because he'd mistaken you for another girl.

"Y/N, right?" Rafe appeared at your desk at the end of class, a bored expression on his face.

Okay, okay, just act normal. Be nice. You nodded. "Yeah."

Rafe stared at you for a moment, like he was waiting for you to say more. His eyebrows furrowed slightly before he tilted his head. "Cool, okay. Let’s just meet up during lunch break and get this over with."

Did he seriously think you could finish a two-week project in one lunch break?

When he saw the look on your face, he raised his brows in amusement, his tone teasing. "What? You too busy?"

Your cheeks heated up as you shook your head. "No, lunch sounds good."

"Okay, then let’s meet after the fifth period." Before you could ask where you should meet him, he turned around and disappeared out of the classroom.

You frowned. This was off to a great start.

Just two weeks, you reminded yourself as you slung your bag over your shoulder and headed to math class.

On the way, you unlocked your phone to text your bestie Cara:

You shoved your phone away and tried to ignore the uneasiness creeping into your stomach.

You didn’t usually have trouble talking to guys but Rafe Cameron was a whole different story. Not because he was "too cool" or some dumb shit like that.

No, Rafe was just... intimidating. Not in that bad-boy, cringe Wattpad kind of way. It was something else, something you couldn’t quite put into words.

He wasn’t arrogant—he was proud. He was loud, but not in the annoying way Kelce Statton was. He wasn’t rude—he just said whatever the hell was on his mind.

He was just ... himself. And yet, somehow he wasn't. It felt like there was a lot more going on beneath the surface.

Maybe that was what made him so interesting to you. Sure, he had a nice face and a well-known name, no doubt about that. But more than anything, you wanted to know why he was the way he was.

Was he just a blunt person who didn’t give a fuck, or was there more to him than his looks and his last name?

So yeah, maybe a part of you was curious about him. But he had such an overwhelming presence, you wouldn’t even know where to start.

In the past, he'd had a few friends-with-benefits situations, but none of them had lasted long. And that was definitely a path you didn't want to go down. Under different circumstances, maybe you could but you've never even held hands with a guy, let alone kissed one or—yeah, no, not going there.

Okay, chill. Internally, you cursed Cara for fueling your delusions.

You had more important problems at right now anyway. Like math class with Mrs. Richman. And no one could claim you were a star student in that subject.

----

The lesson dragged on, your thoughts constantly drifting. After class, you were supposed to meet Rafe.

Rafe, who had PE right now.

Shit. You tried not to think about a sweaty, heavy-breathing, and—NOPE, NOT NOW.

"Okay, that’s it for today. Don’t forget about the math test next week. But for now, go enjoy the nice weather," Mrs. Richman announced, dismissing the class.

Your hands felt clammy as you got up to leave. What the fuck is wrong with me?

You headed to the restroom and washed your hands. Why were you so nervous about spending one lunch break with Rafe Cameron? Fuck you, social anxiety.

"Everything okay?" A soft voice pulled you from your thoughts. "You look kinda pale."

You turned to see the pretty face of Molly Crane. Red hair, cute freckles, and a super charming smile. She was one of the few Kooks (if any existed at all) who was genuinely nice.

You forced a smile. "Yeah, yeah, all good. I think I just ate something bad for breakfast."

Molly didn't look convinced. "You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."

"Really, thanks, Molly. I’m fine now." With an awkward smile, you excused yourself and headed out—only to realize that, well… great, you and Rafe had never picked a meeting spot.

Brrrt.

Your phone had been buzzing since math class. Of course, it had been Cara.

You rolled your eyes with a smile and texted back.

Should you really wait in front of the gym? That felt weird af. But at the same time, you didn’t want to miss him and end up having an awkward conversation about it in the next art class.

The cafeteria would've been the most obvious meeting place, but would Rafe actually look for you there?

You pressed your lips together. Fuck it.

Heart pounding, you headed toward the gym.

Good thing your body totally knew how to distinguish between social interaction and actual danger.

When you arrived, you heard muffled voices of the boys inside, along with Coach Brown’s instructions.

Just breathe, it’s just one lunch break, you told yourself. Then again, this was probably how the next two weeks were going to feel.

You held your breath as the gym doors swung open, and a crowd of sweaty—oops wrong, freshly showered—boys streamed out.

You awkwardly stepped to the side, ignoring the curious glances thrown your way.

No sign of Rafe yet. A sick feeling settled in your stomach. Even worse than being here and having to explain HOW you knew that he would be here, would be explaining why you were standing there if he didn’t actually have PE right now.

But then relief washed over you when you spotted Kelce Statter and Topper Thornton. And right behind them—Rafe Cameron.

You tightened your grip on your bag. Okay, okay, I can do this. They’ll probably say bye to Rafe and leave for lunch now.

They didn’t. Great.

When Rafe saw you, something flickered in his gaze that you didn’t want to analyze. You expected him to just walk past you but instead, he headed straight toward you—with Kelce and Topper right behind him.

Just smile. No, not like that, you probably look like a creep. Oh god, okay.

"Hey," Rafe greeted you with a slightly puzzled smile as the three of them stopped in front of you. "I didn't expect you here."

In other words: Did you stalk me or how did you know I was here?

Kelce and Topper eyed you with amusement. This is so unbelievably embarrassing.

Blushing, you pointed at the gym bag slung over his shoulder. "Well, I saw you bringing a sports bag today, and PE is usually scheduled right before lunch ... so I just assumed you’d be here."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kelce stifling a laugh. You wanted to disappear from Earth, no from this universe. No way anyone would believe--

"Right," Rafe replied with a lopsided grin. "I would’ve just waited in the cafeteria."

So you had been right. And you could've saved yourself this painfully awkward moment. G-r-e-a-t.

"Good thinking though. The faster we get this project over with, the better."

Shit, did Rafe just compliment you? Then again, why did the last sentence sound like he didn't want to work with you?

You smiled awkwardly. "Exactly."

"You're Y/N Y/L/N, right? Your mom owns Y/L/N Yacht Sales." Topper’s voice cut in, and you were grateful for the topic change.

You nodded. "Yeah."

Was that admiration on Topper’s face?

"Ohh, a business Mommy, I like that", Kelce said, and both Topper and Rafe eyed him with shaking heads.

Topper blinked at him annoyed. "Bro, shut the fuck up for once."

Kelce just laughed.

"My dad bought a Grady-White from you guys recently," Rafe remarked, and your gaze flicked back to his blue eyes.

Jesus, he wasn’t just looking at you—he was staring into your soul. If he was always looking at girls like that you'd gladly be his friends-with-benefits-girl.

You prayed to whatever gods were listening that you didn’t blush. "I remember. A 456 Canyon."

The corner of Rafe’s mouth twitched up. "Yeah, a pretty model."

Your cheeks warmed, and either he didn’t notice, or he chose not to comment on it.

"Oh shit, that sounds like a boat party," Kelce chimed in with a grin and looked at you. "If I were you, I’d have thrown a dozen parties by now. So many possibilities…"

Rafe scoffed amused. "Good thing she isn’t, or her family would be broke by now."

You allowed yourself a small smirk.

„Hey, I’m just saying.“ Kelce raised his hands innocently.

Topper tapped him on the chest with the back of his hand. „Okay, dude, and I’m saying we’re leaving now before you say more stupid shit.“ Then he looked at you apologetically and turned his gaze to Rafe. „See you later.“

Rafe just gave him a short nod, his expression hard to read, before turning back to you with a tired smile as Kelce and Topper disappeared behind the gym. „So, you hungry?“

Why did this situation suddenly feel so… intimate? It wasn’t. Definitely not. There was absolutely no reason to feel weird about this. And yet—standing here alone with Rafe Cameron was… a lot. Maybe it was the way he looked at you—calm, focused, as if he was actually paying attention.

Or maybe it was the damn wet strands of hair falling into his forehead after his shower.

Get a grip.

You nodded quickly, trying not to overthink it. „The cafeteria has quinoa veggie bowls today. Or fries, if you’re not into influencer food.“

Oh God. Was that your attempt at being funny? Tragic.

Rafe’s lips twitched with amusement. „So, you’re assuming I don’t like quinoa bowls?“

Oh. Oh no.

Heat immediately rushed to your face, and you could feel your cheeks burning. Why the hell did you say that?

„No—I mean…“ You let out a nervous laugh, which sounded more like a weird cough. „Not that you wouldn’t like it, but you’re just more like—uh, not that I’m putting you in a box or anything, but you don’t seem like someone who… uh…“

Rafe raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. „Someone who eats quinoa?“

You sighed. „Forget it. I’m just talking nonsense.“

„No, no, now I’m curious.“ His voice was amused, almost teasing. „How exactly do I seem?“

You swallowed. Shit.

„Uh…“ Your eyes flickered over him for a second—his broad shoulders, the damp strands of hair falling into his forehead, the fresh polo shirt fitting way too well against his body—oh God, wrong direction.

„I just meant…“ Maybe you should just stop talking and dig your own grave. You sighed and smiled awkwardly. „Okay, look, I'm sorry if you’re actually a secret quinoa veggie bowl advocate. I didn’t mean to sound condescending.“

Rafe laughed. Not in a mocking way—no, it was real, warm, which somehow made it worse because it only made you more nervous.

„No, no, I get it,“ he said, shrugging with an amused smile. „I guess I need to work out more if I’m giving off ‘fries guy’ vibes.“

Your eyes widened, and you quickly shook your head. „That’s not what—“

„Relax, I know what you meant.“ He cut you off, tilting his head toward the cafeteria. „Come on, you can keep judging me in there.“

I am the most embarrassing person alive, you thought, face still burning.

Still, you fell into step beside him, gripping the strap of your bag a little tighter. Brain, could you please shut the hell up? Thanks.

It didn’t.

Because why did Rafe’s presence feel so overwhelming—in the best way possible? And why did his ridiculously good aftershave still linger in the air between you, like some kind of cruel distraction?

And most importantly—how the hell were you supposed to survive two whole weeks of this?

[ansicred]

break the silence | friendship dynamic (angst edition)

Stuck in a depression hole (somewhat of his own doing), Azz calls Gray in a desperate bid for a distraction. setting: Azz's AWO housing flat, New Year's Eve 2014 characters involved: Azz & Gray Luna warnings: ptsd , death mention , grooming + rape mention , scar detailing , possibly more but i'm unsure

[sadkachow]

(cw: brief mentions of internalized arophobia)

now that i've actually realized i'm arospec, i'm starting to notice just how obvious it was. like, i've suspected it a few times in my life, but each time i was like "nooo, i can't POSSIBLY be aromantic". and, um. yeah, so that was a lie.

so, here's a:

list of things that probably should've made me realize/accept i was arospec before i actually did:

only ever had "crushes" on people that either would have made social sense for me to, i just thought were really cool and wanted to be friends with, or people who either confessed or me first or who other people assumed i had a crush on. i legit just went through a list of these with my friends, and literally everyone single one of the people on it was one or more of these three things. speaking of that is:

only ever had a "crush" on literally six people. six. this doesn't count what was assumed to be "crushes" on fictional characters, but even that i'm??? not really sure if i ever did??? plus, the first crush i can remember having wasn't until i was like 9, which would've been around the time that kids at school started getting more into having "crushes"

always got frustrated when i wasn't believed about not having a crush on someone.

that Uncomfy feeling in my tummy the few times when i actually got into a "relationship" with someone and literally anything "romantic" happened ever. seriously i would be trying to be all "romantic" and stuff, and i'd be like "huh, what is this weird all-consuming nausea i am experiencing? why do i feel absolutely awful being perceived to be in a relationship or acting romantic?? i'm sure it's nothing!!!"

my confusion at dating culture. @theeviltwinduh can attest to the rambles/rants i've been on about how weird i find dating culture, specifically the fact that people just. meet people for the sole effort of getting into relationships.

my inability to actually express what crushes felt like and my confusion about what it meant to have one. furthermore, my confusion about what actually qualified as romantic and what separated those feelings from other ones. (i still don't really get this one. i just??? what makes something romantic??? how do people Know??? why are certain behaviors perceived as only for romantic relationships and no one else??? what makes those things inherently romantic, other than just that society deems them so???)

finding characters and people attractive, but never actually really imagining myself in a relationship with them. or if i ever did, it was just kinda like a friendship.

really really liking the idea of qprs for a reason i could not explain. and also being confused about the differences between qprs and romance bc idk what romance is supposed to feel like.

liking the concept of "being in a relationship" but literally any time that concept is brought up as an actually possibility just having fight or flight instincts kicking in (mainly just flight)

when imagining my future and trying to imagine a partner, just kinda seeing some sort of formless blob. or not imagining one at all. or just imagining like a really good friend type thing.

literally ID-ing as aro at one point but being like "nooo i can't possibly be aro!!! i've "totally" had crushes on people before!!!"

that's really all i can think of right now, but i'm sure there's definitely more!

[dawning-day]

top 15 tv shows (in no particular order except i did number them bc otherwise i would forget to do 15)( love u @soleadita and fuck with the icon change immensely)

crashing (2016) call me marissa cooper the way i am ruthlessly stealing this pick but yeah it's. it's insane and fantastic and terrible and beautiful and so much happens so fast but its so so important to me

inside job (it's gross and weird and funny and sad and it's one of the only times i was genuinely upset when i heard about a show being cancelled)

young justice (pointing at an on fire garbage can - this is my son and i love him)

gilmore girls (comfort media of all time what else do you need)

bob's burgers (similar to the above it's very i am falling asleep to the weird bisexual man who is a mess at all times except for how much he loves his family)

fleabag (why yes i have a perfectly normal relationship with the catholic church and the concept of being truly known. why would you ask. and yeah i real life cried)

yuri on ice (idk if anime counts but fuck around and find out this is My List (tm)) ((it's beautiful and soft and lovely and sad and stressful and i listened to the instrumental track so many times it was on my spotify top songs. it's literally just a piano and a boy with a dream and i have wept about it))

given (it's the first anime i ever watched all the way through which in retrospect, fucking insane way to come out of the gate. as a Band Kid (tm) who wanted to be a theater kid but was bad at speaking in front of groups of people, this show did a lot to my psyche in the best way possible)

will (enough with the tears its time for something almost embarrassingly niche. in 2017 TNT had a drama series about william shakespeare and to this day it remains one of the greatest things ive ever seen. jamie campell bower plays the sluttiest version of christopher marlowe you've ever seen in your life. it's chaotic and ridiculous and i absolutely adore it. i have no idea where to find it im pretty sure they want us to forget it exists but i cant)

numb3rs (silly little show about a nervous man who solves murder with the power of math and being a pathetic little wife guy to the hottest woman ive ever seen. theres an episode about trains that i think rewired something in my brain)

white collar (look at me. obviously im a white collar guy. come on now)

invincible (i think ive seen the pilot episode like 4 times. i genuinely think it redefined to me what superhero media could be. oh i adore it more than anything. it's only 9 because i haven't seen season 2 yet but holy shit. holy shit. media of all time. if you want to know me fundamentally and wholly please watch the pilot. i'll watch it again anytime im not kidding)

teen titans (cherished childhood media of all time. only group of people who have ever understood dick grayson)

bridgerton season 2 (i'm bias on account of just finishing it yesterday but holy shit two people have never been in love like they are in love)

the flash (cw) (im sorry to both my mother and god for this one but unfortunately i don't have taste and also it's the reason i started caring about dc in the first place which is the reason i got back on tumblr and met all the cherished gay people in my telephone so yeah. barry allen's allowed to be cringe as fuck i owe him everything)

leo already tagged everyone i know on here but if u see this pls do it and @ me im nosy

[bosspigeon]

1, 2, 6, 9, 24, 25, 26, and 30 for pyre :3c

soooo im gonna put this under a cut bc its A Chunk Of Words and it's also kind of heavy in places, given Pyre's backstory is uuuuh not all that pleasant. CW for allusions to past slavery

1. What was your Tav’s place of birth and raising like?

Pyre was born in Thay to a succubus mother and an unknown father, and was abandoned fairly young. He was in his teens when he was sold to an Archmage, as demons and their ilk are typically seen as trophies and tools more than anything in Thay. His master was an older elf who was working to become a lich in order to maintain his wealth, knowledge, and standing eternally, without losing his mind in the process.

2. What relationship did your Tav have with their family/guardian(s) growing up? Has that changed with age?

He never really knew his "family," and his relationship with his master was essentially the only thing he knew for a very long time. His master was incredibly paranoid about all his secrets and arcane knowledge, and didn't trust having living servants in his manor. So, Pyre was tended to daily by an entourage of undead thralls. The ones who took care of him weren't able to speak, and he was never sure if they understood him beyond basic requests and commands, but he gave a few of them names and would have conversations with them when his master was busy with something else. It's why he's actually pretty chill with intelligent undead, even if he's got some complicated feelings about necromancy in general.

6. What is your Tav’s favourite childhood memory?

The first time he ever flew. He threw himself off a tower of his master's manor. He didn't get far before he was shot down, but for a brief moment he knew what freedom tasted like. It ended with his wings being removed, but he never forgot how incredible it felt in the moment, and he attributes that moment to his eventual escape. It was incredibly bittersweet, but he doesn't think he'd have survived what he went through without that memory buoying him.

9. What was your Tav doing when they were taken by the mind flayers?

Tbh probably just traveling. He no longer considers himself a soldier, but he was still acting as a wandering mercenary more than anything. He was likely helping tiefling refugees in his own right.

24. What first impression does your Tav give off to strangers?

B....big. No, seriously, this man is enormous. He's like scraping 7 ft, and im not sure if im counting the horns or not bc im indecisive. He's also eerily quiet for how big he is and the armor he's wearing. Very much the typical strong, silent type that could crush your head like a soda can with his bare hands if pressed.

25. How does your Tav feel about what others think of them?

He Does Not Care <3 He stopped caring about that shit a long time ago, and tbh I think he feels all the freer for it. Too much f his life was lost being treated like a doll, carved and twisted into someone else's desired image, for him to give a single fuck about what someone else thinks about the man he made himself with fire and fury and bloody-mouthed determination.

26. Does your Tav have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

He's a fairly simple man, and he's also constantly on the move, so he tends to pack light and only necessities, but he's got a small book of poetry that has Seen Some Shit. it's one of the first things he ever bought for himself when he was free. It's thumbed through, the spine is broken, and there are pressed flowers between the pages.

30. What are your Tav’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

Tbh, I'm not sure about this one yet! He's been a wanderer for so long, he doesn't really know much else. I think he and Astarion would just wander together for a while, go adventuring. Pyre's dedication is more to his oath than to Selune, so he'd probably still feel the urge to go where he thinks he's needed, but I also think the both of them have earned the right to rest and just be safe.

[meowzfordayz]

Hello!!! Could I please request some Sanemi headcanons? You heard of enemies to lovers but hear me out... lovers to enemies to lovers. I just see it happening so easily with him. If you feel inspired enough I'd love to read your interpretation 💕 thank you!!

Ty for your request !! ☺️ My hcs basically always turn into semi preferences/one shots, BUT the style of hcs remains ?? Aka that's why I get carried awaaay... and also why this took ~weeks (12 days). 🤪 It's officially Thu here, so I'm sending you terrific, tender, triumphant vibes! 💖

Author’s Note: LITERALLY 2,000+ WORDS OF ~hcs. 😂 Fml.

lovers to enemies to lovers

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader

Word Count: ~2,400

CW: explicit language

~faqs~

I also see lovers to enemies to lovers happening easily w/ Sanemi, bc I just don’t think he knows how to love someone romantically (at first, ofc)

That being said, I feel that lovers to enemies to lovers isn’t exactly accurate either

More like he falls in love slowly, gradually, all at once — intensely, too intensely

And things don’t work out the first time around bc he’s too immature

First loves sink into your bones, imprint themselves through the veins of your soul

And almost everyone isn’t prepared, isn’t wise enough, experienced enough—isn’t ready—to deal w/ that sort of permanence

Sanemi is no exception

He has the infatuation, the flattery, the obsession down to a T

And you fall in just as hard bc heck, he’s your first love too

How do you reject someone who looks at you differently than everyone else?

Someone whose tone softens, eyes widen, jaw unclenches, ~just for you

Someone who promises to pluck the stars from the sky, collect morning dew from delicate grasses, dance w/ you regardless of who’s watching

Someone who, normally, is so brusque, stubborn, ignorant

But softly melts into the knowingness of your smile, allows you to rub salve onto his cuts and bruises, listens intently and greedily bc they don’t want to miss a thing when it comes to you

How do you reject someone like that?

Someone who murmurs, assuming you’re asleep, that he’s grateful he fell for you

That he knows it took ~a while, but he’s w/ you now, and I don’t want to think about a moment w/ you, I’m kind of hoping for forever (ty 5 Seconds of Summer for writing such a breathtaking line in Talk Fast)

Someone who admits, still assuming you’re asleep, that his scars flutter when your fingertips brush across them—someone who lets you touch his scars—whispering their stories to you as the sun slowly rises, his tears dripping intimately onto your bare skin

Someone who wakes you w/ gentle, feathery caresses, marveling at the flecks of sunlight in your drowsy eyes

Someone who laughs sheepishly when you ask Did you sleep, at all? bc he didn’t sleep, yet feels so light and airy and exhilarated

How do you reject Sanemi?

You reject him when you realize how quickly he is to anger

Not explicitly toward you, but indirectly tied to your interactions — to how others interact w/ you

Jealousy, of the unattractive brand

Insecurity w/o trust

I was just ordering tea, Sanemi you mumble — he counters sharply, a bitter Oh sure, that’s what you were doing, but that’s not what they were thinking

Did you enjoy yourself? he’s snarky when you return from a morning, an afternoon, a night, w/o him I did, Sanemi you sigh You said you didn’t feel like joining. You know you were welcome to come

You reject him when he behaves selfishly, unyielding, compromise a foreign word to him

Could we talk about this? you plead, prodding futilely at his coolness — whatever you’re arguing about isn’t serious, but the fact that he’s so unmoving, so arrogant, disbelieving in the importance of processing anything together There’s nothing to talk about, I’m fine

But you’re not fine

You reject him when you realize, as much as he insists he loves you, his every affection hides behind a thin, transparent wall

Whether or not he recognizes this, well, you doubt he does

He’s just too hot and cold

Too apologetic yet prideful

Reeling you in w/ puppy eyes and stolen kisses, hand picked wildflowers and hand cooked snacks

Only to push—shove—you w/ projections of frustration, self deprecation

It’s not you, it’s me

And eventually, you agree

It is him

And you deserve better

Better than someone who isn’t there yet

Someone wishes for a future w/ you, even as they exclude you from it

You’re blunt when you inform him that We’re done, Sanemi. I shouldn’t have to constantly play tug of war w/ my partner, and all you know how to do is fight

He gets it

Somewhat

Appreciates your honesty — your integrity to *not* lead him on

He also has a thousand and one questions

Fight? he wonders We rarely fought ??

He doesn’t understand that feigned nonchalance, avoidance, silence

Are all synonyms for this isn’t working

Good times being good don’t make up for bad times being bad

Love doesn’t fall perfectly into place ~just because

His confessions uttered in the secrecy, the safety, of your slumber

Aren’t the same as being vulnerable with you, for you

How can there be growth, depth when he does everything to you

How can there be growth, depth when he assumes that wanting is enough?

When he hasn’t learned that to want is one thing

And to progress, achieve, succeed is another

When he looks at love like a race — won and done

And hasn’t grasped that love is about who you come home to every night

That love is a changing, shifting, permanent being

As he watches you leave his estate, briskness in your step that wasn’t there before—that wasn’t there when you craved, desired, reciprocated his attention

He understands: he wasn’t ready to love you, even as he swears that’s all he could ever do

Your time spent apart is… daunting

Time spent knowing you should be teasing I love you’s from his lips

Time spent knowing he doesn’t understand what I love you really entails

Not yet

You’re glad he hadn’t chased you

Hadn’t begged for, hadn’t spewed, unattainable forgiveness

But you miss him

You miss his potential

His promises scratched soothingly into your scalp

Still there

He promised, didn’t he?

And, he misses you

Misses how you’d rub his palm whenever you could tell he was pissed off

Misses how you’d flick his forehead whenever he did something cute

Misses how you’d yawn in his face, morning breath galore, and scoot closer, mouth soft and inviting against his before he could even protest Morning breath

The longer he dwells on the strength of your character, the fluidity of your quiet

The more he misses you

Not just what he got from you, but the simple fact of you

He misses how you’d confront his bullshit he always ran away

How you’d wait for him to talk he never did, at least, not like that

Knows you would’ve stayed if he had given you a reason to

He falls in love again, embracing the shadow of your distance

Second loves are steeped in wisdom, guided by shallows of regret, tempered with the hope of getting to share oneself completely

He’s ~more ready to deal w/ permanence

Sober to how I love you could actually feel

Curious, patient, longing to tell you I’ve learned a thing or two

Mind you, he doesn’t become “better” overnight

Over many nights

—I imagine this reflection takes Sanemi months, if not over a yr

It takes immense discipline, a particular flavor of loss, to embark on such a conscious journey

But Sanemi promised

He doesn’t know how “better” should look, sound, taste, or smell

Knowing that could take a lifetime

Prob multiple lifetimes

—He’s not diving into anyone else to “learn”, yanno? (he’s def not one for rebounds — too emotionally consuming)

But a pleasant, anxious warmth settles in his throat when he realizes: at the very least, he thinks he knows how “better”—how love—should feel

Ofc, the tricky thing about parting ways

Is finding each other again

Tbf, you never fully escaped each other’s social circles

Bc again: you’re not enemies

Just, first loves that didn’t pan out

Like when you’re part of a friend group where everyone’s dated everyone lol

Except “everyone” is just you and Sanemi

But that doesn’t mean you’re all buddy buddy

Sanemi totally asks if you’re going to be at social events so he knows not to attend

He’s trying to be considerate, yanno? Of your boundaries and his heart

So it’s difficult for him when that pleasant, anxious warmth surfaces, bc

He’s unsure of how welcoming, accepting—happy unhappy—you might be

The usual fears of

Did I take too long?

Have I grown enough?

Have I grown at all?

What if they don’t want to see me?

What if they pretend they don’t see me?

How fucking awful would that be ??

What if they’ve moved on?

Could I restrain myself from punching a mf?

I should just ask Obanai ??

But he doesn’t ask Obanai

Instead, he just shows up to the next group outing, bc it’s still ~your (as in, both of you belong) group

Nerves curdle in his stomach when he arrives

This is the opposite of thoughtful, idiot

What a dick move

Turn around and gtfo before anyone notices you!

“Nemi?”

Ohmygosh he freezes

Tf was I worrying about? swallows sluggishly

Of-fucking-course they see me first can’t stop the bashful tinge dusting his cheeks

After all this time

You’re always the one

Meanwhile

You’re panicking at the slip of your tongue, at the ease and ache with which you address him

“I didn’t know you were coming?” you’re embarrassingly squeaky

“Me neither,” he chuckles, roughness revealing his tentativeness

“You look…” you pause, snorting internally at the cliche of your observation, “You look good.”

“I love you.”

—YOU CAN’T TELL ME HE’D BE SUAVE AFTER MONTHS/YR+ OF PINING AND REFLECTING AND YADA YADA LIKE HE’S FUCKING ON EDGE BURSTING W/ SOFT FEELINGS AND REGRETS AND YEARNING 🥲

“That’s… nice?”

Shocked, stunned, surprised is an understatement for what you’re feeling

And Sanemi visibly withers, ribs caving inward, eyes squeezing shut, unable to handle the spasms of loss wracking his heart

—You highkey just shattered his heart w/ your anticlimactic reaction lmao, but dw !! 😆

“You look good,” you repeat, and Sanemi swears you sound closer than you were when he shut his eyes

He looks good

Still a bit frayed, scattered, mended amateurly

Still a bit—a lot—awkward, unsteady, naive

But newfound sincerity lingers in the margin of his declaration

An obvious weight balancing his shoulders — a weight willingly gathered, nurtured, adored by him

Each stone a memory, a lesson, a regret, smoothed from its original form to a clearer, prouder shape

Abrasion dimmed to mild annoyance, bc Sanemi will ultimately be Sanemi, but he understands now that abrasion isn’t ~quirky

Jealousy faded to confidence, bc Sanemi understands now that you loved—love?—him too

Insecurity acknowledged, validated, permitted at a fair volume, bc Sanemi isn’t striving for ~idealized, but he understands now that he can—should—communicate his burdens

His thin, transparent wall of ~not ready carefully dismantled to let someone—you—in

“What’ve you been up to?”

Your apparent rejection stings, but he’s drunk on the tenderness in your voice—Maybe I’m not too late?—“Surviving.”

“Me too.”

Me too

Not I missed you

Not I still love you

Not Can we try again?

But if your surviving is Sanemi’s surviving, then

“I know, [y/n],” he rasps, “I know.”

He’s ready to love you (as ready as he’ll ever be) — knows that’s all he could ever do

And now he knows

You’re ready to love him too

—Altho y’all certainly beat around the bush for ~a couple of weeks, like, unbearable lovesick crush phase all over again 🥴🤗🥰

GUESS WHAT?!

That ^^ was my 2nd attempt at writing this request, and below is my 1st

(this also happened w/ touch deprived teehee)

Okayokay ngl I almost declined this request bc even tho I enjoy reading the lovers to enemies to lovers trope, I wasn’t sure how I’d personally write it 😆

BUT sleepy brain at work had an epiphany !!

Sooo here’s my take on Sanemi #lovers to enemies to lovers

He’s def the type to rush in headfirst the moment he realizes he’s in love

No experience

No comprehension of what it means to be in a relationship

Like yeah Sanemi is lowkey my fave soft boiled egg 🥚 (I’ve used that analogy in other fanfics before hehe)

But he also doesn’t magically become a sensitive darling overnight

That being said, he doesn’t exactly go from lover to enemy either

More like whipped lover boi to toxic manchild to better man 😌

Lovers

Has an existential crisis when he first realizes he stares at you waaay too often

Is it bc you irritate him? Like when someone chews w/ their mouth open and it’s so grossly fascinating that you can’t look away?

Or does it have to do w/ the butterflies nausea in his gut?

Will the feeling disappear if he slaps himself hard enough?

Does he actually enjoy the feeling? 😳 Uh oh! He totally does!

You catch on once you notice how the tips of his ears seem permanently pink around you?

“How did just your ears get sunburnt?” you try asking him

His eyes widen, tongue heavy in his mouth as he gulps

Doesn’t. Say. A word.

Okaaay ?? You cross off Sunburn from your list of theories

Meanwhile, Sanemi’s been having weekly hype sessions w/ Obanai to build up the courage to admit his ✨feelings✨ for you

Fortunately for Sanemi, he’s cute when he’s crushing!

You quickly become accustomed to the adoring burn of his gaze following you whenever you’re nearby — you almost feel lonely w/o it

By the time he finally mumbles, “You’re beautiful,” translation: I’m pretty positive I love you you’re reasonably attracted yourself

It’s difficult to resist his brutish charm, yanno? Especially since he significantly—unknowingly—tones down the “brutish” around you (i.e. bad boy/mean jock who’s only nice to you 🥺)

Does this sound like it doesn’t end well? 🙃

—Everyone knows that bad boys/mean jocks are romanticized af and not green flags for a healthy relationship

—Riiight? Everyone knows this? Irl? Fiction aside? You deserve the best, and bad boys/mean jocks are not that! 😤

ding ding ding

It does not end well

—Dw tho! This is lovers to enemies to lovers !! So just hang on !!

Your honeymoon phase is sickeningly sweet

Shinobu genuinely starts researching new medicines for Sanemi bc he’s disturbingly not Sanemi

He dotes on you Constantly blushes around you

Turns into your personal complimenting machine

Briefly mention feeling hungry, thirsty, sleepy?

—Update ~1 week later lmao: I SWEAR I’M GOING TO FINISH THIS

[fr1d4y-wr1t1ng]

Family Game Night, Disaster Edition!

“Hey!!” hiyoooo :)! “Can I request a sort of family game night scenario with a reader that's in the sleepybois?? Maybe something like uno? Idk, sorry this is so vague!! Also do u mind adding me as 💿 anon?”

WELCOME TO THE GANG 💿 ANON!! I'm so glad to have you (and everyone else) here!! I'm ngl this was one of the best rqs I think I've ever written. The vaugeness really helped get the juices flowing!! But I really hope you enjoy it, bc I sure did :).

Request: yes!! From our lovely 💿 anon!!

Genre: Familial Imagine!!

CW: Swearing and somewhat implied death?? Idk it's a one off but yeah.

Characters in Post: Philza, Technoblade, Wilbur, and Tommy.

Description: Family game night can be a little hectic... especially when hectic is the only thing you've known all your life.

(Bonus) Word Count: 777 :)

The screaming… the yelling and the tears were too much for you. You could barely feel anything other than… rage. Pure adrenaline and rage filled you to your core… but you had to wait… for a good moment to strike…

…

“UNO!”

“NO-!”

As laughter filled the room yet again, you see as your brother Wilbur gets down to an Uno, yet again. It was torture for you, because you, as per usual were stuck with the MOST AMOUNT OF CARDS. As you patiently waited for your turn, you could see how Techno glared at Wilbur, almost like prey. It was hilarious, admittedly. But still somewhat… what’s the word… intimidating.

As Tommy placed down a green 4, you watched Philza intently. You wondered what his plan of action was to combat a green 4, you watched as he places down a green 2. It was finally your turn. “After you, y/n.” Your father murmured toward you, all eyes pointing at you like some caged beast.

You scanned through all your cards, making direct eye contact with Wilbur as you carefully placed down a green +2. Techno’s eyes seemed to sparkle as he placed down his own red +2. Wilbur sighed as he shamefully picked up his 4 cards, looking towards Tommy to see what he’d do for his turn. You and Techno celebrated with a small high-five under the table.

Tommy smirked as he placed a red reverse card, everyone’s eyes shifted towards Wilbur as he had to make his next move. As Wilbur slowly calculated what he’d place down. But your question wasn't what Wilbur was going to do next, it was how you ended up here. Playing Uno with your family instead of doing what you wanted to, reading.

~~Flashback~~

The sounds of silence filled your room as your eyes flicked towards the next paragraph. Tonight you just wanted to eat your food and read your book in peace. As you scanned through each word, every sentence making you ponder in intrigued thought, suddenly your state of mind went from your book to what the hell your brother, Tommy, was doing in your room.

“Y/nnnn. Phil says you gotta come downstairssss” He whined at you, perking your interest as you sat up to look at the messy boy in your doorway. “What do you mean?” you asked, unhappily setting your book down as your brother shrugged. “I don't fuckin’ know, he's just asking for everyone downstairs” as the meance finally left you alone, you groaned at the thought of leaving but, hesitantly left your room as you went down to your family.

As you entered the kitchen, seeing Wil leaning on the counter, and Techno standing in front of the fridge, you all looked at Phil and pondered the reason for gathering you all in the one place you usually never gathered in (other than the bathroom).

“So.” Phil clapped his hands together while looking at you all. “The pizza we ordered isn't going to here for another 45 minutes.” You and Tommy sighed, a bit upset over the long wait for your dinner. “-but instead of having you all go to your rooms-” Phil continued, his gaze making you feel as if he was piercing your soul, “we’re playing Uno.” you all groaned as your father laughed at your angsty selves.

Wilbur was the first to speak up, “but didn't you ban Uno after last time?” uncomfortable silence choked you out as you remembered the last time you played Uno… God those poor orphans… Phil awkwardly chuckled at he replied, “yes… but! It'll be fine this time, I'm sure of it.” you lightly smirked as you mumbled “as long as Techno isn't out of sight.” of course Phil and Wilbur started cracking up at your small comment while Techno merely ‘HEH!?’d at you.

Phil was the first to stop laughing, “oh c’mon, it’ll pass the time for at least 15 minutes.” Tommy was the first to sit at the table, excited for another game of Uno. Next were Wilbur and Techno, taking their seats and waiting patiently for the game to start. You were the last to the table. You quietly took your seat as you heard Philza quietly and precisely shuffle the cards.

~~End of Flashback~~

And that's how you ended up watching Wilbur win. His final card being placed down as the Pizza finally arrives. Tommy pouted at Wilbur, as your father got up to go get the door. “You're too good at this game!!” your brother complained, shaking Wilbur’s arm as a sign of protest.

And admittedly, this was way more entertaining than any fantasy world could be.

[sysba]

for sage: hobbies / superstitions or views on the occult (i know the whole book is about that but if there's like a spesific thing/habit she has dlzkdş) / how do they express love / what is their fighting style like / what recharges them when they're feeling drained / also most prized possession bc i like this question for some reason fkzmdiz

cw: rated T for uhm implied stuff lol

“Those are a lot of questions.”

Sage rolls her eyes. “Syd, don’t be rude! You’re not even the one answering.”

“I’m just saying, you could find a better use for your time,” grumbles Syd with a shrug, but she adds nothing else.

With a small chuckle, Sage focuses back on the questions and starts listing, counting them on her fingers. “Let’s see, hobbies? Don’t really have those anymore, ever since almost dying the first time and becoming an outlaw supernatural hunter. The occult? Kinda sexy, although I’m not a fan of the whole ‘mortal peril’ situation. Love? I love no one. Fighting style would be kick ass and take names. I never feel drained, I’m awesome. And most prized possession? Zillah, for sure. That concludes it, I think.”

Bradley stares at her with one eyebrow cocked. "I have a few notes."

"As do I," growls Zillah, and he's looking sort of murderous (pretty much his usual self). "What in Ra's name, Sage? How am I your most prized possession? I'm definitely prized, but I'm sure as fuck not a possession, especially not yours."

She replies with a nonchalant shrug, but there's that familiar spark in her eyes that he immediately recognises. "Well, you lived in my head for years, and I don't remember you paying any rent. So now you're indebted to me, you gotta pay up."

"You little-", hisses Zillah, but she interrupts with a quick kiss and a chuckle.

"Aw c'mon baby, I was kidding!"

He mumbles something that doesn't sound very nice and shakes his head as he glares, and she knows she's in for some harsh retaliation, later.

From the corner of the sofa, Chris groans loudly. "Yeah, so that's how Sage expresses love. By annoying the everliving shit out of everyone."

Sage throws her head back in laughter.

Syd doesn't even look up from the book she's reading (something about dark spells). "And your fighting style is more, 'start a fight I can't win and then wait for Sydero to save my ass'. Every goddamn time."

"Hey!"

"For the record," chimes in Bradley before Sage can add anything else, "The part about her never feeling drained was also a lie. She looks like a zombie 90% of the time."

"Rude," protests Sage, but they both know he has a point (just as they know she won't give him the satisfaction of hearing he's right).

****

translation (because they're all too chaotic and it's impossible to get answers):

hobbies: i guess binge-watching?

superstitions or views on the occult: she honestly got used to it quite quickly, she's always known there was something out there she couldn't explain. she just takes it one day at a time and hopes for the best lol

how do they express love: physical touch (if the person is comfortable; otherwise words of affirmation)

what is their fighting style like: taekwondo

what recharges them when they're feeling drained: s*x (so... zillah)

most prized possession: i don't think she has one! she tries not to be materialistic, since her lifestyle is kind of 'uncertain' yk?

[matth1w]

Hey! Can you make a bucky x y/n story, around the time in CW, where Sam asked her to join their team, y/n has the same powers of Violet Parr, from the Incredibles lol, and Bucky is really impressed and everything is so cuTE, sorry I'm in need of a y/n that can be invisible and so badass, i love your stories, yoy have a really great future here in Tumblr, anyways thank u🥰🥰

Violet

Pairing: Bucky Barnes / The Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary: With a fight between the Avengers brewing, Sam recruits a friend.

Warnings: None

Rating: Everyone

Word Count: 1,181

Note: I hope you like it! Thanks for requesting! Few bonus blurbs as my muse had other ideas about this couple.

As you were cleaning up the leftover plates and cups from the group, you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

You were surprised when you turned around to see Sam, a man you had come to befriend volunteering at the VA.

You gave him a smile and finished stacking up the unused plates.

“Hey Sam, haven’t seen you in a while.”

He chuckled as he walked over,

“Yeah, about that…”

You waved a hand before putting it in your back pocket,

“Nah, don’t worry about it.”

His smile slightly dropped as he looked into your eyes,

“Y/N, you remember how I told you I was a… pilot?”

His pointed look and emphasis on the word made you furrow your brows.

“Yeah…?”

Sam shifted on his feet, “Well, I’ve been helping out a friend and we could really use you.”

And there it was.

You looked at Sam with anger in your eyes for a moment. But you remembered he promised he would never ask for your help unless he truly needed it.

You closed your eyes for a second and sighed, trying to loosen the stress that was steadily growing on your shoulders.

When you opened your eyes, you saw Sam looking at you curiously, awaiting your answer.

“When do we start?”

~~

You watched the scene as the man who had introduced himself as Ant Man shook hands with Captain America. You would have to give Sam a talking to later, you would’ve appreciated knowing you were going to be partnering with some of the Avengers. And that the friend he had been helping was Captain America himself.

You squinted slightly at the man standing behind the comically small car. He looked like Bucky Barnes. THE Bucky Barnes from the Howling Commandos. You were going to kick Sam’s ass. He was friends with not one but two super soldiers?!

Being brought back to the present, you heard Steve clear his throat and look around.

“So, Sam,” he said with a very military commander voice, “I thought you said you were bringing someone.”

You almost laughed at how his disappointed look looked exactly like those cheesy PSA’s they showed on TV.

Sam shook his head and laughed, “I have a feeling she’ll come any second now.”

Taking that as your cue, you revealed yourself and sauntered over to the group. Their looks of surprise and awe boosted your ego. You especially liked the raised eyebrow you were receiving from Bucky.

Inside, of course, you felt a bit intimidated, but you kept your head held high as you made you way to the group.

You stood before them confidently and smiled, “Y/N. I figure Sam here told you about my powers?”

Steve spoke up, seeming to be a mix between amused and confused by the situation,

“No, actually, I don’t think he did.”

You looked over at your friend and rolled your eyes, well aware that he enjoyed dramatic entrances as much as you did.

~~

The team decided the best strategy would be to keep you hidden until you were needed. No one knew for sure, but they didn’t think the others would be able to sense you, especially if they didn’t think to look for you.

The plan was for you to stay atop the airport and Sam or Wanda would fly you in when the time was right. You had to say you didn’t mind it as you saw just who you were supposed to be fighting.

You watched as the Avengers clashed and tried to understand the powers and skills of each person. You couldn’t help but keep going back to watching Bucky. It made you nervous seeing how the man in the black suit kept chasing him. It seemed like he truly wanted to kill him.

You spoke into the comms,

“Sam, do you want me to go in? I can throw cat man off Bucky’s trail.”

Sam’s voice crackled in your ear, “You sure?”

Steve’s voice followed before you could reply, “Wait for Sam or Wanda to get you”.

Seeing as Bucky seemed to be having a harder and harder time fending off his foe, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

“I’m going in”.

You took a step off the side of the building and surrounded yourself with your force field. As you ran towards Bucky, you noticed Natasha pause but before she could move towards you, her body was engulfed in red and thrown back.

You continued to run towards the pair and watched in horror as the shining silver claws extended and his arm started to swing at Bucky, who was cornered.

Bucky closed his eyes, accepting that T’Challa had finally caught him but his eyes flew open when he heard a ‘thunk’. Looking up, he saw T’Challa confused but ready to strike again.

Bucky stared in awe and watched in amazement as you slid in beside him and yelled, pushing your force field forward and throwing your opponent into the jet 50 feet behind him.

You revealed yourself and smiled at Bucky, breathing heavily from the exertion. He just looked back at you, mouth agape. Before you could say anything else, you heard Sam’s voice in your ear again,

“Y/N, stop your googly eyes and get out of there. Tony’s coming up on your six.”

Pausing to look at Bucky, you cocked your head and smiled, “See you around”.

With that, you went invisible again and started making your way towards Tony while Bucky ran towards Steve.

Thankfully, Sam distracted Tony, which gave you a chance to hide behind a container. You knew it wouldn’t cover you for long but you decided to stay put for the moment.

Bucky’s voice sounded in your ear, “We gotta go, that guy’s probably in Siberia by now.”

You were shocked, you didn’t even think you would have to go to a different location. How long and how far would this fight go?

Steve’s voice came in next, “We’ve got to draw out the flyers. I’ll take Vision, you get to the jet.”

Sam spoke up next, “No, you get to the jet, both of you.”

“I’ll cover with Sam, you two go!”, you shouted, already running towards them, ready to defend.

There was silence for a moment but then you heard Bucky’s voice.

“We’ll come back when we can. Finish these guys off then lay low.”

Sam fought back, “The rest of us aren’t getting out of here.”

You watched as Hawkeye drew his bow then spoke up, “As much as I hate to admit it, if we’re going to win this one, some of us might have to lose it.”

There as a pause before Steve spoke up, “Alright, what’s the plan, Sam?”

“We need a diversion, something big.”

Scott chimed in, “I got something big, but I’ll need Y/N to cover me.”

“Got it, I’m on my way to you,” you affirmed while you started taking off in his direction. Seeing Steve and Bucky still hesitating, you shouted at them, “You two, go!”

Bucky nodded and then spoke up, “Be safe.”

Bonus Blurbs

Go invisible with Bucky and/or Sam to prank your friends. Steve always thwarts.

—

Bucky sometimes pretends to not hear you sneaking up on him bc he loves seeing your face after you actually scare him. He’ll never admit he sometimes fakes it. And he’ll definitely never admit you actually did sneak up on him once.

—

You were enjoying the conversation between Scott and Steve. Full aware that Steve could hear you.

“So Y/N and Barnes… are they…”, Scott leaned in and tried to whisper, “You know…”.

You appeared, nonchalantly sitting on the stool and resting your elbow on the counter,

“Yeah”

“Ahh!” Scott jumped what seemed like five feet into the air.

Steve threw his torso back, shaking with rambunctious laughter.

Sam started chuckling too, “That’s revenge, mini man.”

—

“Sometimes I just want to hide. People see me and they start thinking they know me. I used to sit out here and think but nowadays people know my face. Usually it’s good but sometimes…”

You put your hand over his, “I think I can help with that.”

—

You stubbed your toe and dropped your phone. Instead of trying to catch it you flailed your arms around. Once it hit the floor with a thud, you sighed feeling defeated but at least no one saw you.

Hearing a laugh behind you, you looked over your shoulder to see Bucky coming towards you and watched in embarrassment as he stooped down to pick up your phone. As he stood back up and gave the phone back to you, you started turning invisible in embarrassment. He watched your finger tips begin to slowly disappear before he spoke up,

“Hey,” Bucky said softly.

You willed your eyes to meet his and couldn’t help but swoon with the sheer adoration that was visible in them.

—

You held your breath and stepped as slowly and quietly as you could. Remaining unseen, and unnoticed, was of the utmost importance and nothing could make you break your cover.

As you took your final step and got into position to attack, you took a slow, deep breath and —

“Doll, just because you’re invisible doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.”

You appeared before him and humphed. Being overdramatic you threw yourself onto the couch.

“Ugh! Bucky, you’re no fair!”

He chuckled at your whining and plopped down on the couch beside you.

“Yeah, but you love me”, he said with a whisper and a soft touch to your cheek.

You looked up from your fake woe and smiled, “Yeah, I do.”