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National Eating Disorders Association
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part of my mother’s necrotized incest with me was trying to induct me in her suicidal ideation and her fetishization of suicide, she coached me into entering her suicidal world from a very early age. my mother’s suicidality was the air I breathed it was the fabric of the world around me, it was god.
the passive suicidality of the pandemic of 2020 was this made flesh all over again. now the whole country was being drawn into my mother’s incestuous suicidal curse, everyone was being groomed into her love affair with death, but where I was born and bred in the briar patch no one else seemed to have any defenses against it.
all of it went into the horror novel. I’m diving back into my first few chapters and I can’t believe how much I understood what was happening even then.
i feel like a lot of people do "call outs"/morality panics not for "spreading awareness " but because they enjoy the rush of watching someones whole community turn on them. they enjoy their (9 times outta 10) revenge plot working. it's less "I'm warning you about this person" and more " I did hours of stalki- I mean digging and I want to isolate this person from their resources and community to the point of isolation and possible suicide"
and if the smear campaign fails it'll just backfire on the person who started it meanwhile the victim remains traumatized. nobody wins.
An American man self-immolated in the name of Gaza, and I’m seeing two different responses:
from American leftists, acting like it’s a brave/commendable thing while do
from Palestinians, begging people not to do this
This is a man who was incredibly mentally unwell and committed suicide, initially planning to livestream his suicide, and people are applauding it—which inevitably encourages more people to follow suit, throwing their lives away too. And for what? How has this helped Palestinians in any way?
Suicide is not the answer—not to your personal struggles and not to global conflict and geopolitical struggles. If you find yourself around people who are encouraging you to see suicide as a beautiful or commendable political act, get out.
Think of all the good things you can keep doing for Gaza if you keep living. Think of your loved ones. Think of your own life. Your life has value, and you deserve to keep living.
I think Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib, someone from Gaza, put it way better than I can in this tweet:
Imagine killing yourself so a girl you think would never love you will be this super powerful quasi-deity and then turns out the girl loves you so much that she decides to make your death pointless