#cw casual ableism
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Star Trek has poisoned my brain so much that I'll see a ridiculous image on a book cover and my first thought is that the title sounds like how Captain Kirk does a swear
#star trek iv: the voyage home#Star trek iv#star trek the voyage home#star trek#jim kirk#james t kirk#kirk#captain kirk#admiral kirk#Robert Sheckley#The same to you doubled#the one with the whales#casual ableist language#cw ableism#tw ableism
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Favorite part about Death Note is that Light gets the Note and IMMEDIATELY becomes a serial killer fascist with a god complex.
No build-up, no Fall From Grace, no slow corruption of a good boy gradually becoming a monster. Just-- SPEED RUN STRATS. And I love that for him.
Tbh, I think there are a lot of folks (especially boys) from my high school days who would have immediately become monsters if given the power of life and death over every person around them.
It's kind of like how when people have apparently casual ableist beliefs, and you push them to elaborate on that just a little bit, they'll often end up openly saying stuff like "well, some people are just too disabled to be worth the resources it takes to support them." - Which is... eugenics. It's just eugenics, justified by the myth of scarcity. Now these folks almost certainly won't call it eugenics, or even think of it that way. But that doesn't make it NOT a core belief of the Nazis.
In a similar way, Light seems like a nice and well-adjusted boy with strong beliefs. No harm in that.
But to paraphrase Lindsay Ellis in her analysis of the Game of Thrones ending, "Power doesn't necessarily corrupt. Power reveals." [I think she was quoting someone else when she said this. It was someone who wrote a biography on LBJ. Whatever. Lindsay said it and she's smart as hell and I recommend her videos.]
And 15 minutes into the Death Note musical, I'm already thinking about how so many beliefs "casually" held by well-adjusted, nice people immediately reveal their monstrousness when talked through to their natural conclusion.
And I wonder how many of those people, given the power of life and death over everyone around them - the power to take their ideas to their natural conclusions - would also immediately reveal how their lack of self-reflection has laid the groundwork for them to become monsters.
#original#ableism#ableism cw#eugenics#nazis cw#death note#Death Note the musical#light yagami#death note musical#there's not really such a thing as casual ableism. because it all feeds into the same evil machine at the end of the day#because ableism done with hate and ableism done with love and ignorance have the same exact effects#there's no such thing as casual racism either. even if other white people would like to think that#so they don't have to actually call out people around them for holding heinous beliefs or doing horrible things#white culture#is basically the group agreement that we are /simply not going to talk about what we've done/#and we most /certainly/ are not going to talk about what we are currently doing. even bringing it up is considered rude.#it's bad is what I'm saying it's a bad culture and I don't think the world would lose anything without it#maybe then our churches won't feel like places God has abandoned. I'm an atheist. but I remember what white Mass felt like.#frankly I might not have become an atheist if when we sang stuff like ode to joy in church it wasn't the most joyless sound ever#our words flew up. our thoughts remained below. songs without thought never to heaven go. <3#man I gotta make some excellent art about that so I can stop talking about so much. but heavy excellent art takes time! so it'll be a while#nice is different than good#niceness can sometimes be incredibly unkind. it's nice to be agreeable. but in the face of injustice this becomes a cruelty.#back to watching the musical. LOVE how Light convinces himself his actions come from a place of love 💘#'we just have to kill all the bad guys!' taken to its brutal and horrifying conclusion#and the way so many people are FANS of Kira is so brilliant. i wonder if this musical's ending is better written than the [÷>%>#*than the original#edit: it totally is. the musical fucking rules.
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vent post
we're practicing skits and its like crossing the line ngl. i forget how different i am, until they're trying to portray like a "weird" person in an institution and so they do all these mannerisms and its like wow these are all my nornal mannerisms. i know they arent directly making fun of me but like wow. plus theyre twitching (on purpose) which is super ideal for my tics
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The Exes of Jessica Drew: Jared
Jessica emerges from stasis into the arms of Hydra just before her seventeenth birthday. In addition to their usual brainwashing techniques, they use a unique one: employing a guy named Jared to entice her. He helps trick her into believing Hydra are the good guys, taking down the evils of the world.
One day, Jared is sent out to attack Nick Fury at a S.H.I.E.L.D base. Or rather, that's at least what Jessica was told. His true mission was to get captured by S.H.I.E.L.D, Hydra hoping she would stop at nothing to save her first love from the grasps of who she had been told was pure evil.
And they were right. She attacks the base, and has Nick Fury under her fists. Until. . .
Armed with the truth, Jessica flees, but not before taking down a Hydra ship outside in her rage. That's not the only thing left behind in her wake, though. . .
A couple of years later after Jessica freed herself from Hydra, Jared is able to track her down, and attacks her in a nightclub.
He's a real piece of work. You can guess the word I censored.
He puts the gun to her face, but she's able to overpower him long enough to run outside. However, Jess runs into dozens of Hydra goons, with the Taskmaster right at the centre.
The two fight, Jared eventually making his way out to the scene. Jessica is able to overpower her opponent, stabbing him through the abdomen with a sword. Telling the Taskmaster she's "dreamt of this", this is how the rest of her night plays out:
Cold with it.
#fuck u jared that was *deserved*#ig this is also ur casual reminder that jess has killed people HDSKG#are they really people if it's hydra tho?#this is also the shortest post of the boyfriend bunch#cw: ableism#long post#cw: long post#( c h . s t u d y . )#( h e a d c a n o n . )
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thanks mihawk
I will be aggressively nice to you...
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hi! this is my first request but i was wondering if you could do poly!marauders or any characters with reader who’s in a wheelchair? i saw your mute!reader and loved it so much! i’m a wheelchair user myself with limited mobility in my hands and i never see readers that resonate with me. if you can’t, that’s totally understandable though!
side note; but i can literally picture sirius and james trying to push the wheelchair and popping wheelies or even racing LMFAOOO
this is so cute! thanks so much for the request, I hope I did it justice! & the second part is absolutely not based off of a frequent scenario when me and my friend who is a wheelchair user go to restaurants 😅
poly!marauders x fem!reader who is a wheelchair user
CW: fluff, simping marauders, Remus advocating heavily for reader's independence, James just wanting to spoil reader, Sirius being the master of deduction, subtle/casual ableism
“Do you want a break, dove?” Remus asked pointedly; mostly making a statement to James and less concerned that you weren’t speaking up for yourself.
“I don’t mind a break.” You said easily as you smiled up at James above you.
“Yes, but dove, do you want a break?” Remus asked again, moving to stand in front of you so you were forced to stop and look at him.
“My arms are a little tired, and this street does seem to have a bit of an incline. I’m happy to have James push me for a bit, Rem.” You assured him, though you hoped that your gratitude for his staunch defense of your independence shone through.
“She knows I just like spoiling her.” James gloated as he bent overtop of you, pressing a ‘spiderman kiss’ to your lips before straightening up and speeding up the street.
“It’s less that you like to spoil her and more that you like trying new tricks.” Sirius commented as he fell into step with Remus.
“It can be both!” James argued; laughing as you squealed when he ‘popped a wheelie’.
“Prongs, if you break her wheelchair I swear to God.” Remus threatened.
“I’m not gonna break it!” James argued before bending down to murmur into your ear. “I’m not gonna break it, am I?”
You chuckled as you leaned to press the side of your face to his cheek. “No you’re okay; just don’t get too rowdy.”
“Yes ma’am.” He agreed readily.
“God I’m starved.” Sirius grumbled then. “Are you lot hungry?”
“I could eat!” James offered.
“It’d be nice to sit down for a bit; are you hungry, dove?” Remus asked. You looked up and down the street; happy to notice that even in this older part of town, there were plenty of wheelchair ramps.
“Yeah, I think that should be fine.” You offered; though Sirius seemed to sniff out your hesitation as he quickly rushed over to plant his face against the window of a nearby establishment.
“Not to worry, doll; this one looks good!” Sirius’ shout was muffled from where he was pressed up against the glass of a restaurant he deemed worthy of the four of you.
“They’re likely not going to allow us entrance with a hellian like you.” You teased half-heartedly - feeling really quite thankful for his easy deduction and thoughtfulness that not everyone put into finding accessible venues - as you took over guiding your chair and James relinquished his hold on your handles.
“Why not? I thought they had to allow service dogs?” James taunted, causing Sirius to scoff indignantly and launch himself at James which quickly turned into a playful brawl right outside of the restaurant.
“Good lord, we really can’t take them anywhere, can we?” Remus muttered as he came over and rested his hip against you, watching with a look of ill-hidden admiration for your two somewhat chaotic boyfriends.
“Oi!” You shouted, causing the two of them to split apart hastily, not unlike naughty school children caught scuffling on school grounds. “I thought I was being promised food?”
“Sorry angel!” James called at the same time Sirius said “and food you will get, princess.”
The four of you headed towards the restaurant; James running up to hold the door for you all and Sirius patting his arse on his way by, followed by you and then Remus.
Sirius, in all his casual panache, sauntered up to the hostess desk to ask for a table for four.
“Sounds great!” The hostess chirped back, visibly excited for the attention of a very attractive man. “Would you like a table or a booth?”
All three boys slowly turned to face you; Sirius fighting the urge to shake his head in second-hand embarrassment, James looking at you with a sort of frustrated bemusement, and Remus who shared a knowing smirk with you as they all allowed you to field the question.
“Erm, I think perhaps a table would be best, if you didn’t mind?” You asked the hostess with a smile, trying to bite back a chuckle at the way the blood seemed to drain from her face.
“Oh! Yes! Of course; terribly sorry, I- erm, right this way!” She sputtered, turning on her heel and walking - quite briskly - towards whichever table she deigned to seat you lot at as if she were hoping to quickly rid herself of this awkward situation.
Remus, tapping your shoulder first to ask permission, took over driving for you so as to keep up with the rest of your party.
You felt a little bit bad for the hostess who kept turning to offer you apologetic smiles as you and Remus tried not to laugh at her expense. It wasn’t really her fault; she was simply reciting a script she likely had to ask nearly 100 times a day.
But the way you saw it; if you had to deal with society’s subtle ableism, you were entitled to a few chuckles at their expense.
You made sure to thank the hostess as she removed the fourth chair from your table before she left.
“I love watching people squirm like that.” Sirius commented as he sat down.
“Don’t be mean.” You admonished. “She didn’t know.”
“Well she ought to know.” James grumbled then.
“I’m not that fussed; it’s kind of funny.” You said then as you reached for a glass of water; James quickly leaning forward to grab it for you.
“She can grab herself a glass of water, bubs.” Remus chided tiredly then, shooting you an apologetic look.
“Yes but she shouldn’t have to, Rem. Don't act like I don't do the same for you when your joints are acting up.” James responded as he handed your drink to you carefully before pressing a smacking kiss to your cheek.
You winked sympathetically at Remus as his face flushed in embarrassment.
“The only difference is that she gets the princess treatment 24/7.” Sirius added with a wink as he pulled Remus roughly into his side.
And though you’d likely never admit it out loud, you couldn’t deny that you sort of loved the princess treatment.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#james potter#sirius black#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders blurb#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders ficlet#wheelchair user!reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#james potter x reader#james potter x you#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#wolfstarbucks#poly marauders x you#marauders x reader#poly!wolfstarbucks#poly!wolfstarbucks x reader#poly!wolfstarbucks x you#ellecdc fics
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Naruto Roleswap Fic: Uchiha Family Values
“How do you do,” Itachi said quietly. Itachi always spoke very softly, as if every time he spoke he was begging you not to hear him. He looked down at the squirming kid, who had grown enraptured by Tobi’s ugly mug. “This is my brother. Sasuke, say hello.”
Promptly, Sasuke said, “You only have one eye!”
Tobi made a show of gasping, slapping one hand to the side of his head. “Oh no! Really? Tobi dropped it?! Tobi needs that! Will you help me find it, Sasuke!” Sasuke nodded his head furiously, ready to lend his ninja services to their newest client. “Thank you! Maybe I dropped it in the dirt around my house?”
Sasuke turned around and promptly attempted to run off and scrutinize a wide field of dirt. He was stopped only by his brother, who casually captured his collar and turned him back around. Shisui just laughed, crooked white teeth gleaming. Four of them had been replaced by replicas.
“I knew you were the right person to ask! Tobi-san, I need a big favor.” Shisui made a show of clapping his hands together, ducking his head pleadingly. “Will you play with us?”
What was this kid’s game?
There's only one thing Obito hates more than Konoha, and that's the Uchihas. Unfortunately, the prospect of supervillainy has not occured to him, so now he's stuck babysitting his cousins. Or, if you were to ask two of the cousins, babysitting him.
If you were to ask one of the cousins, he would say that there's more to Tobi than meets two Sharingan eyes. And there's nothing that Obito Uchiha hates more than that.
There's plenty of scenes of this AU that I don't feel are complete enough to post on Tumblr, but I feel as if this is one of them. It's a bit long, but I think I'd want to post it before posting the others. It's far from the first or last story in the order it was written or the order that events take place, but it's valuable context for the relationship Tobi will have with Sasuke and Shisui later on. I love Shisui. Shisui's fun. He's free real estate.
CW for noncon drugging (roofie'ing, basically) and constant background ableism. As usual I'm incapable of writing something without strong disability themes OTL. 12k of Uchihas being so abnormal under the cut.
A knock interrupted Tobi in the middle of his katas. After all this time, he still found them meditative and calming. He practiced them at the same level he used when he was eight, but that was the relaxing part: where other people had old stuffed animals, Tobi had old exercise routines.
The knock echoed again, sharp and impatient. The full situation processed far too late, and Tobi’s furious mental processing of the event could be summarized as: who the hell wants to talk to me? As a general rule, people didn’t talk to Tobi. Especially not Uchiha.
Oh, well. He’d get rid of them in under five minutes. It couldn’t possibly be a social call. Tobi threw on a bathrobe and opened the door, yawning widely.
Standing on the doorstep to his parent’s home was a mostly familiar teenager and two much more familiar children. The teenager was grinning broadly, the older kid had his only facial expression on, and the youngest kid was clutching onto the older kid’s hand and looking around curiously. What the fuck was all of this. What. Children? In Tobi’s house?!
Tobi yawned again, holding a hand over his mouth. It was eleven in the morning. “Um? Itachi-chan…?”
The teenager hurriedly gave him a shallow bow. “Hi, Tobi-san! My name’s Shisui. It’s nice to meet you!” He clapped Itachi on the shoulder. “And you’ve met Itachi-kun before, right?”
Yes, yes, Shisui Uchiha. Everybody in the clan knew who Shisui Uchiha was. But he and Tobi hadn’t strictly met, and Tobi hadn’t seen him up close and personal since he was a tot. The kid looked pretty fluffy for Uchiha Genius #5.
“Hi, Shisui-kun, my name’s Tobi.” Tobi looked around, seemingly really registering Itachi for the first time. He gasped, then broke into a big smile. “Itachi-chan! You’ve gotten so big!”
“How do you do,” Itachi said quietly. Itachi always spoke very softly, as if every time he spoke he was begging you not to hear him. He looked down at the squirming kid, who had grown enraptured by Tobi’s ugly mug. “This is my brother. Sasuke, say hello.”
Promptly, Sasuke said, “You only have one eye!”
Tobi made a show of gasping, slapping one hand to the side of his head. “Oh no! Really? Tobi dropped it?! Tobi needs that! Will you help me find it, Sasuke!” Sasuke nodded his head furiously, ready to lend his ninja services to their newest client. “Thank you! Maybe I dropped it in the dirt around my house?”
Sasuke turned around and promptly attempted to run off and scrutinize a wide field of dirt. He was stopped only by his brother, who casually captured his collar and turned him back around. Shisui just laughed, crooked white teeth gleaming. Four of them had been replaced by replicas.
“I knew you were the right person to ask! Tobi-san, I need a big favor.” Shisui made a show of clapping his hands together, ducking his head pleadingly. “Will you play with us?”
What was this kid’s game?
Whatever. This wasn’t the time to worry about that. Most importantly, Tobi absolutely didn’t want to play with them. Tobi had never liked kids, Itachi was a waste of time if his parents weren’t around, and Shisui had an ulterior motive for asking. Most importantly: Shisui was committing a major clan taboo by asking this at all. Which would be one thing if it was just him, but to drag along the main family kids like this? He was shit-talking the village in front of the Hokage here. This had to be some ridiculous clan politics that Tobi didn’t want to get swept up in. And it was setting a pretty awful precedent to involve him in clan politics at all. Tobi was involved in nothing, that was the point.
Tobi broke into a sunny smile, clapping his hands. “Really? You really want to play with me? Nobody ever wants to play with me!”
“No clue why,” Shisui said, lying through his fucking teeth. He looked down at Sasuke, who had finally processed the eye comment and was engaging in the arduous mental task in determining that he’d been duped. “Come on, Sasuke, let’s play ninja with Itachi and cousin Tobi.”
Sasuke grinned too, unselfconscious and toothy like only a little kid could. Tobi could tell that it was the ‘Itachi’ part of the sentence that excited him more than anything else. “I call Hokage!”
Trust me, kid. You could have it.
*
That was how Tobi found himself playing in his backyard with a six year old and a fourteen year old as an eleven year old babysat both of them.
Well, Sasuke was probably the one being babysat. But the babysitter definitely wasn’t Tobi. They had tried to make him babysit a few times when he was a teenager, and it had ended in disaster. Strangely, Tobi hadn’t even tried that hard to sabotage that one. A passerby grandmother had seen Tobi coaching the kid through learning Katon and promptly flipped out. Tobi hadn’t seen the problem. He learned Katon when he was three, and he turned out fine. And yet they didn’t leave him unsupervised around children anymore.
The babysitter didn’t even seem to be Shisui, as he was happily rolling around in the mud with Sasuke pretending to be an enemy ninja as Tobi convincingly pretended to be kidnapped. Poor Sasuke was up against thousand-to-one odds, bravely holding back the rising swarm of enemies as he fought to save his panicked teammate. Shisui was having the time of his life pretending that Sasuke’s pokes with a rubber kunai were just as effective as hamstringing him. Itachi was the one sitting on Tobi’s back porch drinking tea.
It was a familiar sight, from a few different dimensions. Tobi turned around, ignoring Sasuke’s dart through the hastily summoned stone obstacle course to reach Tobi in his prison - how many jutsu did Shisui know? “Itachi-kun, come play with us!”
Itachi sipped his tea. “Have fun, Tobi-san.”
Tobi blew a raspberry at Itachi. Itachi blinked. “You’re still no fun.”
“Ah…sure.”
Sasuke halted in his assault on the enemy stronghold. “Aniki’s a lot of fun!” Sasuke screeched. “He buys me dango and then we watch Super Ninja and then he shows me cool moves!”
“Itachi-kun never buys me dango or watches super ninja with me or shows me cool moves,” Tobi said, wounded. Itachi coughed. “That’s no fair.”
Sasuke crossed his arms, nodding imperiously. “Make your parents give you a brother. Itachi did that. Mama says Itachi wished really hard for a brother and ate all his vegetables and that’s how I was born!”
What a birds and the bees talk. Itachi looked away, clearly embarrassed. “Tobi doesn’t know if that’s true…”
“Mama said so,” Sasuke proclaimed, as if he was dropping a bomb on an unsuspecting village. “Go back to being kidnapped right now!”
Itachi blinked mournfully. “Remember your manners, Sasuke.”
“Please be kidnapped.”
Tobi fell over, howling his head off. “Ahh! The evil ninja stole my eye! Evil men!”
“So that’s what happened to it!”
Shisui sat up from his prone position on the ground. He looked at Itachi. Itachi nodded. He made an impressed sound.
The playdate passed absolutely uneventfully. Tobi was rescued from the bad guys before he was permanently maimed, which was a pleasant deviation from the norm. Shisui was covered in dirt and twigs, but he was smiling broadly and happily swinging the laughing Sasuke around by his armpits. Itachi never said or did anything. He just stood by them like a particularly attentive rock. He responded when asked a direct question, but otherwise he just hovered near Sasuke or Shisui’s elbows. The kid seemed to be in a permanent state of begging you to forget that he existed. He never lost the tension in his shoulders.
Finally, the sun began to dip in the horizon, and Itachi told the others that it was time to go. It was time for Itachi and Sasuke’s dinner, and when the panting Sasuke asked Tobi if he wanted to join them Itachi tactfully rejected on his behalf.
“I’m sure Tobi-san is very tired after playing with us,” Itachi said, as if Itachi had done anything other than guard the perimeter with watchful eyes. “Say thank you to Tobi for playing with us today, Sasuke.”
Sasuke waved solemnly. “Thanks, Tobi.” Sasuke looked up at Itachi, tugging on his hand. “Did I do a good job?”
“Good job at what?” Tobi asked. He was also covered in twigs and leaves, but he couldn’t call himself unsatisfied.
Frankly, Sasuke said, “Aniki said that I have to be nice to you ‘cause you’re dumb. Sensei says I’m not good at being nice so I had to work really hard. Did I do a good job?”
Itachi blinked hard, which was his equivalent of a full-body cringe. Shisui openly winced. But Tobi just smiled, and he patted Sasuke firmly on the head. “You did a great job,” Tobi said. “Tobi thinks you’re a really nice guy, Sasuke-chan!”
Sasuke’s eyes widened, and something in them seemed to gleam a little. He bobbed his head in a nod that shook his entire body, and he hastily reached up to pat Tobi on the head too. Tobi crouched down a little and allowed him to rub his sticky hand on his head. It was the first time anybody but Gai had touched him in a long time. “Sasuke thinks Tobi-san is a really nice guy too!”
“Well, Tobi thinks Sasuke-chan’s even nicer!”
This has now become a competition. “Sasuke thinks Tobi-san’s the nicest in the entire village!”
“Tobi thinks Sasuke-chan’s the nicest in the whole world -”
“We have to go home,” Itachi said. He bowed shallowly at Tobi, who stood up. Sasuke pouted. “Thank you for indulging us, Tobi-san.”
“What does indulging mean?”
“...being nice.”
Sasuke crossed his arms smugly. “I told you.”
“We’ll be back to play more again later,” Shisui said, bright and eager. “See you then!”
Tobi waved the four boys off, and Sasuke kept waving until the moment Tobi shut the door.
Tobi firmly locked the door behind them. Well, that was weird.
Whatever Shisui wanted - had he received it? One of his motives had undoubtedly just been to socialize Itachi. From what Tobi could see of their dynamic, Shisui frequently pushed Itachi to act more like a normal human being instead of a particularly brotherly robot. But they could have achieved that with some kids Sasuke’s own age - or, heavens forbid, Itachi’s. Maybe he had been trying to warn Itachi. Serving as a walking, living warning was one of Tobi’s limited purposes around the village.
That would make sense. Calm down and stop trying to kill yourself on missions, Itachi, you’ll turn up like this washed up child genius. If that was the desired role, Tobi was more than happy to fulfill it. The one-time reminder and break from their duties would be sufficient for Shisui’s purposes.
Except then he came back a week later.
It was the exact same deal. Tobi acted incredibly excited to see them again - and, for just a bit of spice, acted a little emotional over how he really hadn’t thought they’d come back - and Sasuke was somehow equally excited. It was definitely just because of the time with Itachi, but Tobi had successfully found the right method to worm his way into Sasuke’s heart. He was just like Tobi as a kid: he would do literally anything for the slightest bit of praise.
“Sasuke-chan’s so smart!” Tobi clapped wildly as Sasuke proudly showed off his barest flicker of Katon. You could get more results with a lighter. Tobi had been charring off the faces of adult men at his age. “You’re so cool, Sasuke-chan!”
Sasuke humphed, propping his hands on his hips and nodding fastidiously. “I know. I’m gonna be just as good as Aniki one day. Then I’ll go on his missions so he can be home!” Magnanimously, Sasuke added, “You can play with Aniki while I’m gone, Tobi-san.”
“Wow, Sasuke-chan’s so dedicated,” Tobi admired. “I bet you work harder than anybody in your class!”
“Of course I do!” Sasuke cried heatedly. “Everybody in my class is so lazy! Ino and Chouji and Shikamaru and Ami and Kiba and -!”
The child continued ranting about his utter disdain for his fellow six year olds. Shisui just laughed and clapped Tobi on the shoulder. The touch burned. “You’re so good with Sasuke-chan, Tobi, I’m impressed. You were clearly born to be the cool older cousin.”
Tobi grinned, giving Shisui two ‘v for victory’ hand signs. “Tobi is the coolest, isn’t he?!”
“I sure think so! Hey, I stole some mochi from Mikoto-baachan, would you like some?”
Tobi gasped in delight. “Mochi, mochi, mochi!”
“Mochi?!” Sasuke yelled.
They sat on Tobi’s back porch, swinging their legs and listening to the cicadas chirp and whirr. Sasuke eagerly narrated his entire existence to Itachi, who nodded at the scientifically designated correct intervals. Tobi recited his top ten favorite mochi in list format to Shisui, who made impressed noises and empathetically agreed with him at the scientifically designated correct intervals.
There was something about Shisui. He was a sweet kid. Filled with the invigoration of youth, yet clearly mature and collected where it counted. He doted on his cousins, who clearly thought the world of him, and acted as their benevolent leader. He was respectful to Tobi as the adult in the room, but he spoke in ways that Tobi could understand and never made him feel stupid. He seemed to have decided that Tobi was lonely, that he needed a friend, and that Shisui was just the right person for the job.
In short: confidence grift. But what the hell did he want? Tobi was the most useless person in the village, thank-you-very-much. He contributed nothing to society and society wanted nothing to do with him. All he did was sit in his house or wander the village. The list of people who interacted with him was Gai and a small but mysteriously growing hoard of sympathetic old women. Itachi clearly had no idea why they kept on playing with Tobi, so it couldn’t be for his sake. Same with Sasuke. Shisui must want something, something he kept secret. But what?
It had to be a clan politics thing. Ugh. None of Tobi’s fucking business. The Uchiha were a lot of talk and they always will be. Last Tobi heard, they were muttering about secession again. They literally never stopped. If Shisui was taking that kind of talk seriously - well, he was welcome to his stress.
The third time they met, they were caught.
Tobi registered the presence before Itachi did. Afterwards, Tobi found that a little strange. Itachi was viewed as the ‘greater genius’, and he was obviously at hyper-alert every second of every day. Even in his own clan compound. Maybe especially in his own clan compound. Especially since he was looking after Sasuke. Tobi was a has-been, but he still picked up on Mikoto’s presence first. Maybe Itachi’s mother slipped underneath his radar, but Shisui didn’t notice until after Itachi did. Couldn’t they feel her step on the grass?
Well, couldn’t show it. Tobi laughed and left a gigantic opening in their ‘taijutsu match’, letting Sasuke tackle him around his waist. Tobi carefully fell backwards, pinwheeling his arms and yelling, and struggled in vain to fight off the yowling Sasuke trying to pin him to the ground with his bird-like limbs.
“I win!” Sasuke yelled, “I win, I win! Aniki, did you see me win!”
Tobi faked a growl. “It’s not over yet, Sasuke! Secret technique: Flappy no jutsu!” He grabbed Sasuke by the waist and hoisted him high in the air, making him squeal in delight. “You’ve been turned into…a bird!”
“No!” Sasuke wriggled happily, flapping his arms as Tobi began waving him back and forth in the air. “No, I’m not a bird -”
“If you’re not a bird, why are you flying!”
“Lemme go, lemme - Mama!”
From outside of Tobi’s field of vision, he heard Itachi’s voice say, “Mother. Hello.”
“Mikoto-baasan!” Shisui said cheerfully. “What’s…up?”
Quietly, Mikoto said, “Sasuke, please get down.”
Sasuke obediently wriggled, and Tobi slowly put Sasuke back down onto the ground. He scrambled upwards himself, tunic and wrapped pants smeared with dirt and grass stations, and twisted around to blink owlishly at the woman standing on the other end of his fence.
Mikoto looked the same as ever. Same hideously fancy kimono - jeez, Tobi remembered when she wore mesh shirts and leggings constantly because she couldn’t be bothered to change out of her mission uniform. Standing ramrod straight and perfectly elegant. As always, there was steel in her countenance. The woman knew which way to bend, but as a result she was unbreakable. But she didn’t look at Tobi like she was about to bend now. She actually didn’t seem very happy at all.
Kids were highly sensitive to that sort of thing. Sasuke scrambled towards her, running as fast as he could to the fence. He tried hopping over it and failed miserably, curling his fingers on the edge of the fencepost. He blinked up at Mikoto, who was not looking at him.
Tobi…broke out into a great big smile, pumping his arm in an excited wave. “Mikoto-nee! Hi-hi! Are you playing with us?”
Sasuke twisted around, boggling at Tobi. “Tobi knows Mama?”
“Duh! She’s my sister’s best friend, Kushina Uzumaki!”
Sasuke had never looked so horrified in his entire life. Mikoto’s lips thinned. “Tobi’s not an Uchiha?!”
Shisui raised a finger, omnipresent smile lingering stubbornly on his face. “Ah, Sasuke-chan, Tobi-san lived with some friends of his before they - Tobi-san is an Uchiha for sure. He just lived with Uzumaki-san and her partner for a while.” Sasuke squinted dubiously at him. “It’s complicated.”
“It’s good to see you again, Tobi,” Mikoto lied through her teeth, bowing slightly. Tobi tilted his head. “But Itachi and Sasuke have to go home now. Boys, let’s go.”
But Shisui just sauntered forward, hands in his pockets. “Why do they have to go?” Shisui drawled. “You said they could play in the compound for two and a half more hours. What’s the rush?”
Calmly, Mikoto said, “Their father wants them home.”
Sasuke’s head swiveled, turning the power of his dubious looks upon his mother. “Father told us to play outside ‘cause he has a meeting all day…”
Itachi stood up, awkwardly brushing himself off. Shisui had finally managed to wheedle him into serving as referee for the ‘taijutsu match’, and Tobi had guaranteed that he was a casualty of Sasuke’s assault. “Don’t question Mother, Sasuke. Let’s say goodbye to Tobi-san and Shisui.”
“But Aniki…” Sasuke turned big cow eyes on Shisui, who he could rely upon to contradict Itachi and guarantee a little extra fun each day. “Why are we going?”
“Yeah, Mikoto-baachan.” Shisui crossed his arms, planting himself like a tree. Itachi hovered near his elbow, nervous. Did the kid know that he practically clung to every ‘safe’ person in every vicinity? “Why are they going?”
Mikoto didn’t seem particularly surprised by this. Despite the insubordination towards the highly outranking person, she wasn’t angry. She just seemed solid, steady, and sad. “We can discuss this at home.”
“No, say it here.” Shisui pointed at Tobi, who just adopted a baffled face. “Say it in front of him.”
Mikoto’s expression creased. “Shisui.”
As with any Uchiha, the single world was weighty with meaning. Shisui ignored all of it. He turned to Tobi instead, firm and implacable. “Do you know why Mikoto-nee doesn’t want her kids playing with you, Tobi-san?”
“Um…but…” Tobi adopted a distressed look. “Tobi thought Itachi-chan and Sasuke-chan’s dad wanted them home…?”
A hair louder than usual - about as much emotion at Itachi ever showed - he said, “We’ll go.”
At almost the same time, Mikoto said, “Do not bring him into this, Shisui.”
“Bring him into something that’s about him? Say to his face what we all say behind his back? If I’m embarrassing you, then you should be embarrassed.” Shisui turned to Tobi, folding his arms. “Sorry, Tobi. I guess the jig’s up. We were caught visiting you. Frankly, it seems that the Uchiha gossip network’s losing their touch. I can’t believe that it took three visits before we were caught.”
Caught? Oh, this was hilarious. Pity he couldn’t laugh. Shisui really had been smuggling the three of them over here. Itachi and Sasuke had been banned from even looking at Tobi’s mangled face. How funny. How typical.
“Caught?” Itachi’s eyebrow creased subtly. Oh, this was too good. Itachi hadn’t even known that this would get him in trouble? Of course he didn’t. Itachi never broke a rule. “You said that people didn’t like to - you didn’t say that we couldn’t.”
Shisui smiled again, openly mocking and more than a little bitter. “Who cares if I do it? You’re the one who’s not allowed to do it. Why do you think that is, ‘Tachi?”
“Shisui, I don’t -”
Sharply, Mikoto said, “Shisui, don’t you -”
“They don’t want you to know who they’re making you into. They’re afraid that you’ll see your future in that face.” Shisui turned and faced Tobi completely, forcing his words onto his shoulders. “Heavens forbid you learn what’ll happen to you after you’re pushed too far.”
Everybody was looking at Tobi - everybody but Sasuke, who was confusedly staring up at his mother. Nobody was making any facial expressions, but Tobi knew these people. Mikoto’s body was tight and tense and deeply sad. Shisui stood like he was on the attack. And Itachi…
He understood what Shisui was saying. He already knew. Shisui hadn’t needed to say it at all - or he wasn’t saying it for Itachi’s benefit. Itachi just seemed resigned.
Meanwhile, Tobi just rounded on Shisui. He looked around, clearly registering the tangible tension and everybody’s clear distress. Kids were sensitive to this sort of thing. “Shisui-kun! Don’t say things that make Mikoto-nee so sad! You should apologize, right now!”
Shisui raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “Why did it make her sad?”
“Because - um…” Tobi floundered a little, looking back at the silent Mikoto and Itachi. “Because you said Itachi-chan’s gonna get hurt like me, and - and he’s not! You can’t know if that sort of thing will happen!”
“Hurt?” Sasuke asked, voice cracking. He was getting upset too, reacting to everybody else’s emotions. “What does ‘hurt like me’ mean?”
Immediately, Itachi said, “Nothing’s going to happen, Sas -”
“Tobi was kidnapped by enemy ninja at the end of the last war,” Mikoto said crisply. She put her hand on the top of Sasuke’s head, but she locked eye contact with Shisui. “They hurt him very badly, Sasuke. He had to retire as a ninja because of his injuries. That is what happened to Tobi.”
And, as always, Itachi backed up his mother immediately. Before Shisui could get a word in edgewise, Itachi told Sasuke, “Remember when I told you that Tobi-san is an adult, but he doesn’t understand the world like an adult does, or do things the way adults do? That’s because the enemy ninja hurt his brain. But that was during the war, and that’ll never happen to me.”
Sasuke’s brow furrowed deeply. “People’s brains only get hurt during wars?”
“Let’s go, Sasuke,” Mikoto said.
But Sasuke dug his heels in, and even when Itachi walked over towards him and put his hand on his shoulder he didn’t move. “You let me play with Cousin Daisuke who only has one arm. Nobody said Aniki’s going to grow up and have only one arm! Why is this different?”
“There’s many different types of wounds, Sasuke,” Itachi said quietly. “Leave it alone.”
“Yeah,” Shisui said, “and not all of them are obtained in war, either.”
Itachi stared down Shisui, and Shisui met his eyes with equal weight. They were Uchiha, Sharingan masters, and eye contact between them was heavy. They were almost brothers to each other, and they looked two seconds away from a genuine fight. Sasuke was at Itachi’s elbow. Watching them fighting here, fighting over…over…
“Why are we fighting?” Tobi cried, fingers tangling in his curly hair. “Are we fighting ‘cause of me?”
Itachi startled, turning to face Tobi as his eyes widened a fraction. “No. It’s - I’m sorry, Tobi, it’s not your fault.”
“It is my fault,” Tobi tugged at his hair, hunching his shoulders. “Tobi’s sorry that he made Itachi-chan and Mikoto-nee mad!”
Mikoto glared hard at Shisui, who blinked. He probably had never seen her make that expression. “Do you see why I wanted to have this conversation in private, Shisui? Who have you helped here?”
Itachi reached a hand out towards Tobi, with an unexpected expression on his face - truly distressed. “I’m not mad. Please don’t pull your hair.”
But Shisui just crossed his arms, unrepentant. “Hey, you’re the one who started this. I’m sick of letting everything go just to keep the peace.”
“Isn’t minimizing conflict more important than the truth?” Itachi snapped.
Wow. That was more vocal inflection than he’d ever heard from the kid. Tobi helped the kid out and made a miserable noise.
Surprisingly, it was Sasuke who leapt into action. He reached up on his tip-toes and very lightly smacked his mother on the arm. Then he turned around and smacked Itachi on the elbow, much harder. Both of his family members just stared at him, shocked. Then he ran back towards Shisui and smacked him on the stomach, far more ferociously than he had whapped the other two. A clear hierarchy.
“Whatever happened to being nice to Tobi! Aniki, you said Mama and Father fought in their bedroom because I hate it and I’m six. Tobi hates it too and he’s not like the adults, so why aren’t you and Shisui fighting in your bedrooms?” Sasuke propped his hand on his hip, outright wagging his finger at Mikoto. She looked appalled. “Mama, I will talk to you in my bedroom!”
Tobi felt his fingers drop from his hair, mostly from surprise. The others were also staring at Sasuke in surprise. Sasuke huffed and sidled closer to Tobi, pointedly taking his side. He reached out and grabbed Tobi’s calloused and worn hand in one miniature fist, squeezing it with a feather-light touch.
Sasuke stared up at him with wide and utterly harmless eyes. “I get scared when Mama and Father fight, and Aniki says that’s okay. If it’s okay for me then it’s okay for you too. Probably. Um.” Sasuke glared at Itachi, who blanched. “Aniki, say it’s okay for Tobi to be scared.”
Automatically, Itachi said, “It’s okay for Tobi to be scared.” More hesitantly, he added, “You didn’t need to be scared. I wouldn’t get mad at you.”
And Tobi grinned, all unhappiness forgotten. How could it not be? Itachi Uchiha said that there was nothing to worry about, and Itachi Uchiha was the god of a six year old. His word moved mountains and shook the heavens. “Tobi couldn’t be scared of Itachi-chan, no way!”
“You should be scared of him,” Sasuke informed Tobi. “Aniki’s a badass who can chop up five hundred people in five seconds. If he wanted you dead, it’d be like - bam! You’re already dead.” Itachi flinched. Mikoto gave Sasuke an extremely pointed look, and Sasuke’s eyes widened. “Oh. Um. Mama can talk to me in the bedroom too.”
“Maybe we should all talk.” Shisui sounded a little more solemn, a little less sure of himself. But when he glanced at Tobi, his eyes were as bright and clear as ever. “Do you mind if we all come back later, Tobi?”
Tobi’s grin broadened, and he waved broadly with his free hand. “Okay! But only if you promise to come back again!”
“I promise!” Sasuke said loudly, on everyone’s behalf. What a bossy kid.
Cute, though. Awfully cute. Tobi even kind of liked him. When’s the last time he felt a single positive emotion about a member of his clan? Even the innocent, blameless sort just evoked feelings of pity and anger in him. But looking at Sasuke now, bubbly little face so firm and dedicated, Tobi could only feel the faint stirrings of fondness. He was a good kid. Not like the rest of them.
It didn’t matter. At his age, Tobi had two B-rank missions under his belt. He’d killed - some quantity of people, Minato had always hid his own mission reports. Innocence just meant that the shit hadn’t happened yet. Give it ten years and Sasuke would end up just like the rest of his misbegotten family. There was nothing Tobi could do to change that.
He had tried. For Itachi’s sake, he had tried. He had never mentioned it, and maybe he didn’t remember, but Tobi had visited him pretty often when the kid was much younger. Unannounced and uninvited. Tobi usually only got away with a few minutes, but he made the minutes count. Mostly through relentlessly bullying Fugaku and Mikoto.
“Itachi-chan’s so cute!” Tobi had squealed, balancing on a pole on the exclusive main branch family training yard. It was sealed for privacy. Nobody knew how he had gotten inside. “Tobi remembers learning the same jutsu when he was that age! Is Itachi-chan in wetworks too?”
Tobi would knock on the door, asking for Itachi when he knew full well that the boy was on a mission. “Itachi-chan’s on another mission?” Tobi would ask, faux surprised. “Itachi-chan works so hard! Is Itachi-chan going to beat Tobi’s record for most missions at that age? There’s not really a prize…”
Shisui thought he was clever. He was beating his head against a brick wall. Tobi had tried to do exactly what he was doing. Many clan members had done what he was doing, if far more politely and stiffly.
It was no secret that Fugaku wanted Itachi to surpass Obito Uchiha. In some ways, he would: Obito hadn’t had the opportunity to become ANBU. In other ways, it was straight-up blatantly impossible. The petition to allow a young ninja to skip the Academy and test directly into genin just didn’t exist in peace time. Maybe Itachi had the record for youngest graduation, but Obito had skipped it. The number of missions, the number of kills, the number of B and A ranks: Itachi couldn’t catch up. And it fucking killed Fugaku.
And Obito’s Sharingan was the best. Everybody knew it. It was still the best, although nobody knew that. No amount of pushing Itachi would change reality.
But maybe it was necessary. Maybe Itachi would have to surpass Obito. Because if he didn’t surpass Obito then he would become Obito, and that was the silent and loudest fear of the clan.
The fear that only Shisui Uchiha had ever vocalized in front of Tobi. Only he had ever looked at Tobi as he said it. He had even winked at Tobi as he left. What sort of confidence grift involved saying the cruelest thing in front of the most fragile person?
When Shisui Uchiha returned, he returned alone. He knocked on Tobi’s door late at night, hoisting a large bottle of sake in the air and smiling brightly. Tobi was mildly surprised. All things considered, you could roughly equivocate that to shock.
“Shisui-kun?” Tobi craned his head, looking over Shisui’s shoulder. All he saw were cicadas grinding their gears in the thick night. “Where’s Itachi-chan and Sasuke-chan?”
“Just me this time.” Shisui held out the sake bottle, grin widening. “May I come in?”
“Um…” Tobi leaned away a little, nose wrinkling. “Booze smells bad…”
“More for me, then!”
Somehow, Tobi found himself sitting at his kotatsu as Shisui surveyed his house with undisguised interest. It was as messy and dirty as he probably expected, since Tobi really couldn’t work up the fucks necessary to keep it clean. The occasional grandmother always insisted on cleaning the whole thing top to bottom, so it never got too filthy. The fridge was full of food. Obito hadn’t seen the point in cooking, so Tobi enjoyed it well enough. It could be time intensive, but he had more than enough time on his hands. He gave a lot of it away to the grandmothers or injured ninja or new mothers anyway.
Shisui shamelessly poked his head into the back rooms. He’d find Tobi’s childhood bedroom cluttered with shelves of puzzles and games - Gai was always giving them to him - and a master bedroom full of boxes and giant racks of scrolls. Shisui had given him a curious look.
“Sensei and Kushina-nee left their stuff to me.” As well as their money, which was mostly locked up in a trust and dispensed to Tobi in an allowance. “I’m holding it for Naruto.” Shisui flinched. Tobi pretended he didn’t notice. “A lot of it is in storage, but I keep some of it here ‘cause it gets lonely by itself.”
Left unsaid: as Naruto was undoubtedly fucking lonely by himself. The kid’s ANBU guard wouldn’t even let him into the orphanage, so Tobi was forced to wait however long before he left. Hopefully by the time he was a genin he would be old enough to receive his family’s possessions and every story associated.
Shiui stuck his head inside a particularly heavy box, prodding the textbooks with one finger. “The Fourth knew medical ninjutsu?”
“Rin-chan left me her ninja gear. Said her parents wouldn’t want anything like it.” Tobi twirled a strand of hair around his finger, looking up at the ceiling. “Kakashi-kun left the Hatake stuff to Sensei, so that’s mine now too. I have to hire genin to clean out the house sometimes…”
Shisui almost fell into the box. He stepped back out into the hallway, apparently shocked. “You own the Hatake clan compounds?”
“Who else would?” Tobi shrugged, unbothered. “The house is probably really lonely, but Kakashi-kun wanted it that way. Tobi wants to give it to Naruto when he grows up.”
“You must care about the ki - Naruto a lot.” Shisui stepped back into the main room, moving towards the windows and glancing out from behind the drawn curtains. “You seem like a kind person, Tobi.”
Tobi just shrugged again. “It’s not Tobi’s things, so…”
“But you care about the things. You want them to be with somebody who would love them.” Shisui rattled the last window a little bit, satisfied, before moving back towards Tobi and sitting down across from him. “Your sensei’s scrolls look really cool. Can you read them?” Tobi stuck out his tongue and shook his head. “Aw, I wonder if they’re bored. Would it be alright if I read a few of them? They seem really cool to me!”
Whatever. Wasn’t as if Minato had any clan secrets. He had secret techniques, but Tobi had stuck those in a sealing scroll in the hollow of a tree. Impossible to access if you didn’t have an eye that turned you into a ghost. “Okay! Shisui’s my friend, he can read them for sure!”
“I’m glad we’re friends, Tobi,” Shisui said earnestly. He poured them both bowls of sake, holding one out to Tobi. “I’m always hanging out and having drinks with my friends, so I thought it’d be fun to do it with you too. This sake’s really nice and sweet, do you want to have a drink with me?”
Was this kid seriously trying to get him drunk? The absolute lack of ethics was pretty impressive. He knew he didn’t even have to be subtle about it, so he was acting completely shamelessly. But his phrasing was precise: Tobi always wanted to make friends and to be treated like anybody else, so he would accept the drink.
Tobi would have one or two, and if Shisui kept pressing then he’d use a jutsu to metabolize the rest. Then he’d snitch to Itachi. So Tobi cautiously took the sake bowl, sniffing it dubiously, but when Shisui knocked it back Tobi copied him.
“You were telling me about your favorite television shows earlier, right?” Shisui said, replacing his bowl on the table. His posture was absolutely open and friendly, and his words were easy-going but gentle. “Mega Warriors? What’s happening in the new season?”
“The Village Hidden In The Cave exploded!” Tobi cried heatedly. “It was awesome!”
Honestly speaking, Tobi genuinely loved that show. It killed higher brain functions. Good, clean action fun. He had developed a real taste for television and movies - stuff he never watched as a kid, stuff he barely knew existed. Maybe he watched a bit too much television, but that was the infinite joys of retirement. At least he didn’t sit on his front porch chewing tobacco leaves like every other retired ninja.
Shisui did a great job faking interest. Tobi had to assume it was fake: he had no tells, but no teenager would actually give a shit about a children’s television show. Eventually even Tobi was forced to take pity on the man and switch subjects. It said a lot that Tobi purposefully chose to stop being annoying, boring, stupid, or grating on somebody’s nerves. Fuck, maybe they were friends.
“Um, Shisui-kun?” Tobi swirled his bowl of sake absently. Shisui had refilled his bowl twice, but any more than two might be trouble. Kid really was trying to get him drunk. If he was so dead-set to lower Tobi’s defenses, then Tobi could counter-attack. “Why did you say those things to Mikoto-nee the other day?”
Shisui seemed surprised at the topic change from kid’s shows, but he sobered quickly. He leaned forward, gesturing at Tobi with his own sake bowl. “Because nobody was standing up for you. Nobody ever stands up for you, even when you need it. I wanted to let you know that I was on your side.”
Even Tobi wouldn’t buy this. He looked at Shisui a little skeptically. “Shisui-kun can be nice without being naughty and causing trouble.”
Shisui’s smile was rakish and sharp. “Sometimes a little trouble is what’s best for everybody. Loving somebody doesn’t mean always being nice to them. It means doing what’s best for them. You get that, right?”
“Um…maybe.” Tobi placed the sake bowl on the table, looking away a little awkwardly. “Sensei and Kushina-nee were nice too, though…”
“You think they did what was best for you?” Shisui asked quietly, and Tobi eagerly nodded. His expression softened. “I’m glad. I’m glad that people who loved you were nice and looked out for you. I’m getting worse and worse at the former, but Itachi says I’m not bad at the latter. Thank you for being patient with me.”
“It’s okay! Shisui-kun’s family.” Tobi hated his family more than he hated this village, which said a lot, but that wasn’t the right look. “Tobi thinks Shisui-kun’s really nice, so don’t say bad things about yourself.”
“Thank you, Tobi. We’re family, huh?” Shisui leaned in, dull eyes glinting in the soft lantern light. “Does that mean you trust me?”
He’d gotten to the point, then. Either Shisui decided it was the right time to make his move, or he decided that he couldn’t afford to wait any longer. If this was Tobi’s op he would have stretched it out for way longer, but he didn’t know what kind of time limit Shisui was working under. And Tobi had the habit of playing the long game, anyway.
Tobi bobbed his head in an enthusiastic nod, brimming with puppy-like sincerity. “Yeah! We’re family, and Shisui-kun is nice!”
With an odd and sideways sincerity, Shisui said, “Thank you for the trust.” He fell silent for a second, drumming his fingers on the table, before finally speaking again. “I hope you don’t mind, but I put some seals on the windowsills. We’re completely in private right now. Nobody can hear or see us.”
Tobi squinted at him, confused. Maybe he was a bit confused - his alcohol tolerance must have taken a hit over the years. He felt a bit too fuzzy and light for two bowls of sake. “Why did Shisui-kun do that…?”
“So you know that you’re safe,” Shisui said earnestly. He leaned forward, folding his arms on the table. “It’s just you and me, alright? I want you to know that nobody will ever know what we tell each other right now. I’m pretty good at keeping a secret. So is it okay if I ask you to tell me a secret right now?”
How far should Tobi let Shisui take this? He was making his move, and Tobi was admittedly deathly curious to know what he wanted. To know if he needed to deflect anything, and what he needed to deflect. If Shisui was onto him.
He couldn’t be onto him. The idea of him faking it hadn’t even crossed a single Uchiha mind. But Itachi and Shisui’s words echoed loud and clear in Tobi’s mind: that there were many different types of wounds, and many of them hadn’t occurred during war. Tobi would be unsurprised if Shisui had some idea that the damage was psychological instead of neurological. Genma, Kurenai, and Sarutobi had believed the same. Which was close to being onto him, but still very far from actually being onto him.
Focus, focus. It was more difficult than it should have been: the alcohol had hit him strangely hard, leaving him fuzzy and out-of-sorts, and -
The kid had drugged him. Son of a fucking bitch. Letting himself be drugged, fucking amateur hour up in here. He wasn’t up to date on his drug and toxin immunity conditioning. How could he not check the sake for drugs? He knew that the kid was running a grift on him, he should have been more careful. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
What was the specific kind of drug? Fuck, he couldn’t remember. It was definitely a sedative, maybe even a tranquilizer. Why would he use this specific type? Increase physical vulnerability - no point in that, Tobi wasn’t much of a combatant. Induce relaxation and calmness - maybe, if he was trying to avoid a meltdown. Make him more suggestible - that was certain. That had to be it.
So Tobi relaxed, letting his gaze soften and muscles untense. A hair slowly, he said, “I guess, if Shisui’s asking.”
Shisui’s eyes were dark and dull, and the lines under his eyes were almost as thick as Itachi’s. There was something deep and weighty in them, the Sharingan’s power palpable even when it was deactivated. You could grow lost in those eyes. Or suffocated by them.
“Will you show me your Sharingan?”
That was it. That was what Shisui had been after all this time. What the fuck else was anybody ever after. Tobi would give him the same answer he gave everybody. He shook his head and frowned. “Tobi can’t use the Sharingan anymore. Everybody knows that, Shisui.”
“If I walk you through the process, do you think you’ll be able to do it?” Shisui asked. “Do you need help molding the chakra? I can -”
“Tobi can’t do it,” Tobi said firmly. He’d had this conversation again and again and again. “Tobi hasn’t been able to do it for a very, very long time! Tobi’s tried! Tobi’s very sorry, but he can’t help Shisui-kun.”
“Were you awake when they took out your eye, Tobi?”
A hand pressed against the eyepatch, and Tobi realized too late it was his own. He couldn’t say anything. He should have a meltdown and chase off Shisui. But he had the feeling that Shisui couldn’t be chased away so easily.
“It must have been really scary,” Shisui said. Voice lilting, eyes dark. Almost hypnotic. “I know the Sharingan’s really scary too. But I need to see your Sharingan, Tobi. It’s really important. Won’t you show it to me?”
Tobi shook his head. He turned away, fully hiding his face. “No. Tobi can’t.”
“I think you’re capable of using it. I think the Sharingan’s very scary, and you don’t want to. But I think you can do it. Tobi, please.” Shisui leaned forward, heavy gaze pinning Tobi in place. “You have no idea how important this is. Please just show me your Sharingan.”
Tobi buried his face in his arms, squeezing his eye shut and separating himself from Shisui as thoroughly as he could without moving an inch. “No! Leave me alone, I can’t do it!”
“Look at me. Look at me, Tobi, please. Does your Sharingan look something like this?”
And, despite himself, Tobi looked.
Shisui’s eyes were blood red, and his pupils were spinning lazily. It kind of reminded Tobi of a shuriken, circular but sharp and ready to cut. It was fatter and softer than Tobi’s own, but it was similar enough that it was unmistakable.
Shisui Uchiha had the Mangekyo Sharingan.
Interesting. Tobi had thought he was the only one to unlock it since the Founder’s Era. That was what the scrolls seemed to imply, anyway. He had to do some serious digging and hunting and thieving before getting his hands on those top-secret scrolls, but it had been worth it. Anything was worth it, just to learn what the fuck had happened to him.
Guilt. Tobi eventually surmised that only the most intense guilt could unlock the Mangekyo. Tobi wondered what had made Shisui feel so guilty. Clearly it hadn’t stopped him from continuing to do morally dubious shit. After a guilt so intense and crushing, drugging his brain damaged cousin probably wouldn’t register on his radar.
“Your eye’s weird,” Tobi cried, horrified. “What did you do to your eye?”
But Shisui ignored him. “Is your eye weird too?”
“I can’t see my eye! My eye is gone!” Tobi raised his voice, injecting more and more hysteria into his voice. It wasn’t hard - he was just channeling the panic he was already feeling. Such was the essence of Tobi: the self who felt Obito’s emotions for him. “Are you jealous of my normal eye ‘cause yours is weird? Tobi’s sorry, but that’s not Tobi’s fault! I can’t help you!”
Shisui’s lips thinned, and for the first time he began to look resigned. “You can’t help me, or you don’t want to? Which is it?”
“I really can’t. I’m sorry, Shisui-kun, but I really can’t.” Tobi sniffled, expression contorted in distress and regret. “Don’t you know I want to? It made everyone so sad when I couldn’t. I really would if I could. I just can’t…”
“It’s okay,” Shisui said. He put his hands in his lap, obscuring them from view. “Let me help you. It’s not a good idea to do as much as I can right now, but I can at least do this much.”
“What are you -”
Tobi fell wide awake.
*
Tobi stood in training ground seven.
The sun was bright and hot, but the gentle breeze softened the blow. There was a distant rush of a stream, underlied by the constant cacophony of a hidden village, but their little forest always felt so still and peaceful. He was standing in the small clearing in the center of the training ground, encircled by trees softly pushed by the wind. Their leaves were crisp and orange - red, purple, brown.
Kakashi stood across from Tobi. Just a kid, slouching in his jumpsuit with his hands crammed in his pockets. He blinked lazily at Tobi. Tobi had forgotten that he never brushed his hair.
“Are you ready to start?”
Tobi blinked at Kakashi, lost. Why was he lost? He was in the training grounds. He looked down at himself and saw the outfit he used to wear. It was all blacks and grays. He had never lost the taste for those colors. “Bakashi…?”
“That’s me, apparently.” Kakashi yawned - which normally severely pissed Tobi off. Take this seriously, Bakashi! “You always work up Rin when you say that.”
“Rin?” Tobi looked around the grounds, suddenly filled with a bizarre desperation. “Where’s Rin?”
“She’s buying bento lunches for us with Sensei. If I don’t pretend to work he’s going to scold me again, so can we just get started?”
“Yeah…sure.” Tobi awkwardly arranged himself into a ready position. It was difficult to position his body correctly. It was as if he’d forgotten how to do it all, and was relying entirely on muscle memory. “Bakashi wants to practice taijutsu, right?”
“I never wanna practice at all, but sure.” Kakashi straightened, cracking his neck and meeting Tobi’s eyes dead on. There was something arresting and heavy about that gaze. “But you have to make it a challenge for me. Fight me using your Sharingan.”
Using his what? “That’s way more work than Bakashi likes.”
“I want to learn how to protect you. That means I have to get stronger.” Kakashi oriented himself into his own ready stance. It was - “Help me get stronger. Fight me with your Sharingan.”
Tobi shook his head, stepping backwards. His body fell out of its ready stance. His body didn’t want to fight. It was just so sick of it. “It was Tobi’s job to protect Kakashi. Tobi was the strongest, so Tobi should have done it. Kakashi feeling like he failed would make Tobi really sad.”
“Don’t worry about it, Obito. You aren’t a failure. Prove it to me, Obito - let’s train.”
“But I can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” Kakashi said. “I have faith in you, Obito. I know your strength is within you somewhere. Let’s draw out that strength together, Obito. To protect our precious people.”
That did it. Like stabbing yourself with a kunai or shocking yourself with electricity, that snapped him out of the genjutsu’s hold over his mind.
Tobi didn’t let you call him Obito. It infuriated him, in that special Tobi way. It wasn’t normally a problem: everybody had adapted remarkably quickly to his new name. But maybe that wasn’t such a surprise. It was very difficult to look at Tobi and see Obito. Nobody liked remembering who he once was. And nobody called him that unless they thought that they would be the lucky winners who achieved the miracle and brought Konoha’s greatest soldier out of retirement. Tobi only heard the name Obito when they wanted something out of him. Something that he couldn’t give. Could you blame him for hating the name?
“Stop calling me that!” Tobi screeched. He bent over double, clutching his head and curling in on himself. “Bakashi wouldn’t call me that! Bakashi loves me! This is made up!”
Insanely casually - so casually that Tobi knew he was making a rapidfire series of hand seals - Kakashi said, “No it’s not. You’re in training ground seven. Kakashi’s standing here with you. You want to turn on your Sharingan.”
“You’re lying! Liar, liar, liar!” Tobi pressed his hands over both eyes. Another hit from the Mangeyko might actually do him in. “Get me out of here, Shisui!”
Amazingly, Kakashi - Shisui, it was Shisui, Kakashi was dead dead dead - just sounded a little baffled. “You shouldn’t have seen through this. My Sharingan’s genjutsus are infallible. How the hell did you -” Shisui gasped, tripping over his own words. “You don’t need to turn on the Sharingan to have the resistance. The only eye that could match up to mine is - I knew it.”
Normally it was very easy to escape a genjutsu once you figured out the game. ‘Kai’ was a simple tool - the chakra equivalent of turning the television on and off again - but it was universally effective. Even the most complex genjutsus relied on the same fundamental physiological principles of the simplest genjutsu, and Kai disrupted all of them easily.
Tobi made the rat hand sign and shouted, “Kai!”. He opened his eyes and saw -
Kakashi’s face in front of him, only a hand’s width away. His eyes were blood red, spinning like a pinwheel, and the weight of his gaze was almost physical. Tobi locked eye contact with the spiked eyes and found himself unable to escape. His vision tunneled, then swirled, then -
*
Obito stood in training ground seven.
It was the same as ever. Team Minato’s little pocket of peace, where the cacophony of Konoha and the war was shut out of their world. It was hot enough that training would be a bit uncomfortable, but a real ninja always trained in all types of weather. Prepared for anything, that was Obito’s motto.
Kakashi stood across from Obito. As always, he was slouching in that baggy jumpsuit, hands crammed in his pockets and blinking lazily at Obito. Did he ever brush his hair?
“Are you ready to start?”
“I’m the one who’s been waiting here for an hour!” Obito yelled. He wasn’t sure about that, but it sounded right. “You’re the one holding us up! As always!”
“Maa, sorry.” Kakashi scratched the back of his neck. His body tensed infinitesimally. “I can switch out with Rin, if you want?”
Rin stuck out her tongue. She was sitting on the sidelines with Sensei, relaxing on the soft grass. Her thumb was stuck in one of her omnipresent romance novels. Next to her, Sensei was frantically scribbling over a scroll. “Save me from Obito on the warpath! I’ll take him after you’ve softened him up, Kakashi!”
“Ah,” Kakashi drawled, “so I’m bait again.”
Rin winked cutely. “I prefer the term human sacrifice.”
“Don’t practice human sacrifice,” Sensei said vaguely, without looking up from his scrolls. “That’s…bad. I think.”
“How overdue are those forms, Sensei?” Rin asked. Sensei made a mournful sound. Rin sighed and grabbed a few from the teetering pile next to him, taking a pen from her pocket as she cracked open the scroll. “You do the fighting, boys, I’ll work on something more important.”
“You’re my favorite,” Sensei said feelingly. He still didn’t look up from the scroll. “You are the best student of all time. You’ll definitely become Hokage when you grow up.”
“You never call me your favorite,” Obito said, wounded.
“You’re also my favorite.” Kakashi slowly raised a hand. “Kakashi is my other favorite. You’re all equally the best. Does anybody else want to help me with this formwork?”
Immediately, Obito and Kakashi said in sync, “We’re busy training.”
Minato’s pen flew across the scroll. “Lazybones, both of you.” Obito puffed himself up in indignation. “Joking! Start your match, you two. Whoever loses has to help me with my paperwork.” Oh, this had stakes now. Obito hated paperwork. Not that he told anybody that. “Don’t forget to use your Sharingan, Obito.”
Obito rolled his eye. He turned to Kakashi, sliding himself easily into a ready position. Across from him, Kakashi did the same. The guy only did work if you threatened him with more work. “Yeah, yeah. Not that I need the Sharingan to beat you, Bakashi.”
“You’ll need to master the Sharingan if you want to be my ANBU Commander,” Rin called out. “Don’t slack off now!”
“Why are you telling me not to slack off!” Obito cried, appalled. “Bakashi is right there -”
Kakashi raised his hand. “I’m just gonna be Rin-chan’s trophy husband.”
Obito flushed. “That’s - that’s useless, you know that? Be a productive member of society! Why would you waste your life being somebody’s husband?”
For the first time, Sensei looked up. He had the most tragically wounded look on his face. “My life dream is to be a husband.”
Rin looked unimpressed. “You’re next in line for Hokage, Sensei.”
“I never said that was my dream.”
“Then give it to me.”
“Not until you’re eighteen, kiddo.”
“Yeah,” Kakashi drawled, “Konoha won’t survive Hokage Nohara. Give us a few more years to put our affairs in order.”
“Are we going to train?” Obito cried, exasperated. “We’re wasting daylight! Stop joking around and focus!”
Kakashi gave Obito the fakest wounded look. “Joking around is my only joy in a dreary life, dobe.”
“Jokes are a waste of time.” Obito brought his fists up, activating his Sharingan on pure instinct. He could activate it quicker, more reflexively, more intuitively, than anybody else in his clan. “Now face me, Bakashi!”
The world swirled, then shattered.
Minato Namikaze and Rin Nohara disappeared on the tides of a spring wind. Before him, Kakashi Hatake’s image twisted away into nothingness. Only Shisui Uchiha stood behind him, hands held carefully in the rat seal, eyes swirling in a pinwheel.
When Obito met his eyes he startled and quickly jerked his eyes away, but he didn’t lose grasp of the illusion. It was no surprise that Shisui refused to meet his gaze: the heat of the Mangyeko burned behind Obito’s eyes.
“Ah,” Shisui said weakly, “you can see me.”
“You absolute brat.”
Shisui’s eyebrows jumped upwards. “Excuse me?”
Obito stalked forward, and Shisui unconsciously leaned back. Obito was vaguely conscious that he must be releasing some killing intent. The Mangyeko’s corrosive power probably magnified that killing intent into a dangerous aura.
“What did you think would happen?” Obito snapped. “My eyes are more powerful than yours. Seeing through this shoddy genjutsu is child’s play. What are they teaching the Uchiha kids these days? If you’re the picture of a Uchiha genius then I hate to see a commonplace Konoha ninja.”
Shisui froze, eyes widening. “Cousin Obito. It really is you…” Obito lifted an unimpressed eyebrow, and Shisui hurriedly bowed slightly. “I’m Shisui Uchiha. It’s good to see you again, Obito-san. I don’t know if you remember, but we met a few times when I was a kid -”
Obito flapped a hand, cutting off the suddenly polite child. “Yeah, your parents were always showing you off. They wanted me to take you as an apprentice once the war was over.” Shisui froze. Nobody had told him that. No surprise. “Obviously you must have made something great of yourself, since you’re wasting time casting industrial grade genjutsus on me. And drugging me. Thanks for that.”
“It was important!” Shisui cried. He stepped forward, but they both kept avoiding each other’s eyes. “I couldn’t explain to Tobi why it was important, otherwise I would have, I promise.” Yeah, sure. “Don’t give me that look. Do you think I liked doing this?”
“It’s cruel,” Obito said shortly, and Shisui flinched hard. For the first time, Obito wondered if Shisui had a fragile personality. “Go on, then. Tell me what’s so important that you had to somehow find me.”
Shisui took a deep breath. He set his shoulders straight, as if he was finally being brave, but in the end he looked away completely from Obito. “About five years ago, I was on a routine mission with my best friend. We just had the worst fight of our lives. I barely even remember what it was about, but I was so mad. I remember feeling this burning jealousy and panic…maybe it was because of his promotion over me or something. The clan had just begun putting a lot of pressure on me, and he made me feel like a failure. And the routine mission…went bad.” Shisui halted a second, heaving deep breaths, before speaking again. “I just remember thinking that he’s going to take my place as the Uchiha genius. I had that thought at the exact moment he needed me. And he died. Because of a fight over something I don’t even remember and jealousy over a position I never even wanted. I remember realizing this, the truth of my actions fully hitting me, and how I started crying blood. When I looked in a pool of water, I saw that my eyes had turned into this. Fugaku could only guess that the shock and trauma mutated my eyes into this strange form, but that never made sense to me.”
Wait, hold on. “‘Into its strange form’?” Obito asked harshly. “‘Shock and trauma?’. Why didn’t Fugaku tell you about the Mangekyo Sharingan?”’
Shisui stared blankly at the ground. “The what now?”
Holy fucking shit. “Nobody told you about your own fucking eye?”
“You know?” Shisui cried, and for the first time he raised his eyes to meet Obito’s own eyes. For the first time, Obito saw the desperation in them. “You know what happened to me? Who told you? Does anybody else know?”
Obito snorted. “Nobody told me. I found out the information for myself.” The ability to become a ghost was fantastic for entering secret vaults, and Madara had written half of ‘Clan Secrets’ in a script that only the Mangeyko could read. Obito knew more about this clan than its fucking hundred year olds. “You guessed what the activation criteria was, didn’t you? That’s why you sought me out. You wanted to see if the other genius Uchiha who murdered his friends scored the bonus too.”
“I was right!” Shisui clenched his fist, eyes spinning in a sick blur. “Our conversation right now confirms it! This thing happened to me because of what happened that day. You and I both failed to save our best friends. I just need to know what it is, how I can use it. I know it can do more than a powerful genjutsu every so often.”
And, because the kid had gone through such incredible amounts of effort for this moment - because he seemed to have reached a level of desperation that could only ever grow deeper and more rotten - Obito told him.
“Maybe Fugaku didn’t tell you because he thought you must have a different eye. Or maybe he thought you were lying to him. Fuck, maybe only the elders know this information anymore. The Uchiha clan believes that the Mangeyko Sharingan is only obtained through killing your best friend.” Shisui’s face turned pale, but Obito shook his head. “No. It’s activated when you watch the loss of the person you love. Personally, I think that it activates when you feel responsible for that loss. When the guilt murders you, when it breaks you, and when a new power rises to fill the void within you.”
Shisui looked away. “Lots of Uchiha have seen a loved one die. But…not that many get the person they loved killed, huh?”
“This information is kept under wraps so nobody goes around trying to kill their loved ones. It wouldn’t work, anyway. Nobody who kills the person they love the most for an eye could ever feel guilty about it.” A sword through a heart. A boulder through a chest. “The Mangekyo strengthens your natural Sharingan. It gives you the ability to summon Susanoo, our clan’s greatest and most ultimate weapon. And it has a technique unique to its wielder. Yours is related to a genjutsu, right?”
Shisui nodded eagerly. “I’ve never used it, but I can sense it. I think it can brainwash people. I sense that it has a long cool-down, but the brainwashing must be absolute. What’s Susanoo? How can I wield it?”
“Visit the sacred shrine in the woods behind the main house. Use your Mangeyeko to read the writing on the wall scroll, then follow its instructions.” Wait, that implied that Obito had discovered all of this after he had brain damage. “I found it while searching for forbidden techniques right before the war ended. These are our most dangerous secrets, Shisui. Tell no one.”
“An ultimate weapon,” Shisui said quietly. He was standing stock-still right in front of Obito, but something inside of him was tensing with excitement. “I bet it could turn the tides of a war. The peace that this weapon could bring…I could bring peace to the Uchiha and Konoha -”
No. Wait, kid, slow your roll. That wasn’t why Obito had fucking told you this.
“Are you joking?” Obito asked flatly. “The Mangeyko could start a war between the Uchiha and the rest of Konoha. Nobody can ever find out about this. You should never use this power.”
“But they’d see the value the Uchiha could bring!” Shisui protested. “The Hokage would know how powerful we are, what an asset we are to the village! If they just respected us -”
“They already think we released the Kyuubi,” Obito snarled, “how would showing off a brainwashing power remotely make them hate us less?”
“Then I’ll brainwash them too!” Shisui cried, and Obito stopped short. “I don’t care how long the cool-down is! I’ll just brainwash the Hokage, tell him to accept us back into the village, and - and wouldn’t that be the best way to fix this? It’s peaceful, easy, and it doesn't hurt anyone!”
Did this kid just fucking say that brainwashing somebody doesn’t hurt them? That explained so fucking much - and how much did that say.
Obito grabbed the kid’s collar, reeling him in and shaking him. He realized a little too late that the kid was shorter than him - that Obito’s hand was strong and large. He was an adult again. “Weapons cannot bring peace!” Obito snarled. “Harm does not cure hatred! Committing greater and greater atrocities will not achieve the impossible!”
“They’re not atrocities!” Shisui didn’t struggle in his grip. He just looked at Obito, bright and pleading. As if he truly did want Obito to understand. “And it’s not impossible! Restoring peace between the Uchiha and Konoha has to be possible. They’re depending on me to make it happen. Itachi’s depending on me to make it happen. I’ll do anything if it saves the people I love!”
“You’re a fool,” Obito said coldly. “An idealistic fool. In searching for a perfect solution, you’ll ruin everything. Compromises must be made. If you truly wish to save the people you love, then sacrifice the people you don’t. But there is one thing you must never sacrifice, Shisui.”
Something in Shisui was so broken. Obito saw it in those red eyes now. “Obito-san…”
“Don’t lose who you are.” There was something aching and broken in Obito’s chest. It scratched his chest with a thousand micro-tears, ripping him open bit by bit from the inside. “Don’t sacrifice your integrity. Don’t parcel out parts of yourself to those who would consume them. Don’t you understand? Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash!” Obito faltered for the first time - not uncertain, but almost afraid. “You’re a good kid, Shisui. Don’t sacrifice who you are for the sake of people who will use you up and spit you out. You deserve better than that. I…deserved…”
He was no longer gripping Shisui’s collar. He was staring far into the distance, lost. The training ground was bright and cheerful, softened by memory and time, and his teammates were far away. They would never come back. There was no home to return to.
A weight looped around his neck, a body pressed against his, and he realized too late that Shisui was hugging him. It was an awkward and strange weight. Obito couldn’t return the embrace. Holding him like this, forehead pressed against his chest, Shisui felt like nothing more than a scared fourteen year old. As scared and confused as Obito had once been, the day he made his awful choice.
“Do you want me to kill you?” Shisui muttered. “Everyone says that you’re better off dead than…”
Their family was so fucking insane. Shisui thought he was being nice right now. Obito just sighed and put his hand on top of Shisui’s head, indulging a moment of insanity and ruffling his hair. Only Tobi would have ever done that.
“A life is the most precious thing,” Obito said bluntly. “Our society treats people like they’re cheap, lives as if they’re expendable. They’re wrong. Life and living…no matter how difficult the circumstances, we must value life above all else.”
Shisui pulled away, rubbing at his spinning eyes. For the first time he truly seemed miserable. “I don’t care about sacrificing myself for my clan. My life isn’t more important than Mom’s or Dad’s or Itachi’s or Sasuke’s. But are their lives more important than the safety of Konoha? If Konoha’s not safe, they aren’t safe. I don’t know what to do.”
“You can’t please both the Uchiha and the village,” Obito said bluntly. “You’re trying to play both sides and avoid making a decision. Your efforts will topple like a house of cards. And those you tried to save will use you.” Obito put both hands on Shisui’s shoulders, squeezing tightly. He looked him dead in the eyes, hoping that his own gaze was still weighty enough to say what words couldn’t. “Don’t trust Danzo. He wants our eyes for himself. Don’t trust the clan elders. They just want power. Tell nobody about our eyes, Shisui. You must protect both of us. If you don’t, the consequences will be catastrophic.”
Shisui nodded, eyes wide. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, Obito-san.”
Not the potential problem. If Obito got busted he’d probably just blow up half the compound and book it. Honestly, he should have already done that. He didn’t know why he was still around. Maybe it was just inertia. Maybe he didn’t want to fend for himself. Maybe he was weak - but there was no ‘maybe’ about that.
“Good. Listen to me now. Hopefully, after this we’ll never speak again.” If the kid tried to pull this a second time then his life was about to become markedly un-precious. “Persevere, Shisui-kun. Value your life. But do not accept evil, in others or in yourself. And remember…remember…” Obito smiled despite himself, shoulders falling. “Remember to have fun, alright? Treasure your one and only life.”
Shisui looked as if he was about to cry, which was assuredly the worst possible outcome of a conversation with a teenager. Obito’s words hadn't even been nice. Had this kid received no positive reinforcement at all? Would Tobi have to be nice to him?
But Shisui just stepped backwards and bowed to Obito at the waist. The sight of a modicum of respect had grown depressingly novel. “I’m sorry that we’ll never meet again, Obito-san. I’ll study the Mangekyo and unlock its full power. I’ll protect you and Itachi and Sasuke. I promise.”
“Promise me that you’ll trust nobody,” Obito said sharply. Shisui straightened, but he only looked away again. “Live. Even at the expense of everything else. Now get us out of here, you have to be exhausting yourself.”
Shisui formed his fingers into the rat seal, hesitating briefly. “What should I tell Tobi?”
“It’s your life,” Obito said, “not mine.”
His vision tunneled, then faded away, and Obito woke up.
*
Tobi jerked himself awake.
What the fuck. What the fuck had that been? Tobi hadn’t known that he could be trapped in a genjutsu. And Shisui went through all of that effort for - what, chasing a hunch? World peace? A fourteen year old’s idea of problem solving, i.e. brainwashing as many people as possible? Shisui had built a genjutsu even Obito couldn’t escape from. He was wasting his life with that damn loyalty.
Yes - Obito hadn’t been able to escape the genjutsu. He had thought he had. Maybe he couldn’t leave physically, but he had reasoned his mind was intact and uninfluenced. Through the benefit of hindsight, Tobi could see what a delusion that had really been.
Tobi did not drop the act. Ever. There should have been no ‘accessing the dead genius inside of the moron’. The moron was the genius, that was the point. The first wave hadn’t fooled him - Tobi had been together enough to keep the Tobi mask on, even in the face of such noxious nostalgia. But the second wave pulling him even deeper into his psyche had been too much. Shisui had peeled the mask away, giving him what he expected to see and giving Tobi what he never thought he’d see again. It hadn’t even occurred to him to lie. First he was drugged, then he was caught in a genjutsu…fucking amateur hour up in here.
“Tobi? Are you alright?”
Rich fucking sentiments from this kid. But Tobi groaned anyway, realizing that his head was pillowed on his arms folded on the table. A light grip shook his shoulder, and he forced his aching head upwards to stare blearily at the faux-concerned Shisui.
“I think I drank too much,” Tobi groaned. “I had a weird dream.”
Shisui’s face was stone, but that was no surprise. “What did you dream about?”
Tobi yawned widely, pushing away toppled bowls of sake. “That I was walking on a tightrope, and if I fell I’d die. One part of the ground was boiling water, and the other part was lots of fire. It was super scary. Then I fell and…I don’t know where I landed…”
If Shisui was surprised that he didn’t dream of the obvious thing, he didn’t show it. He just clasped Tobi’s elbow, gently helping him upwards. “Sounds scary. Let’s get you to bed, alright? Thanks for hanging out with me, I had fun.”
“Tobi’s happy that we had fun.” Tobi yawned widely, covering his mouth with both hands, but he slitted a sharp look at Shisui from the corner of his eye. Shisui always stood in Tobi’s field of vision. “Did Shisui-kun get what he wanted?”
Shisui froze. This was a risky move on Tobi’s part, but he knew that it would pay off. “What I wanted?”
“Tobi used to be a very good ninja,” Tobi said reproachfully. “Tobi can taste gross things in his drink.” Shisui jerked backwards, paling. “Did Shisui-kun get what he wanted?”
“I…” Shisui looked away, but Tobi watched as he forced himself to stare directly into Tobi’s eyes. Tobi wondered what he was searching for - the Mangekyo? Obito? Or if he only knew that Tobi wouldn’t register eye contact as a threat? “No. I got what I was looking for, but…not what I wanted. I’m sorry. I hurt you for no reason.”
What had Shisui truly wanted? Maybe even he didn’t know. Maybe he had wanted somebody like him. Life as a genius was lonely. Maybe part of him, silly and irrational as he knew it was, hoped that his eye could ‘fix’ Tobi where everyone else had failed. Or maybe part of him had wanted an adult he could trust, and all he received was a man who hadn’t seen daylight for a long time.
Tobi put a hand on Shisui’s head. He smiled down at him, bright and easy. “It’s okey-dokey, Shisui-kun! If you need help, just come to Tobi. Got it?”
“Got it,” Shisui said quietly. “Thank you.”
“No problem - wow, I’m dizzy!”
Shisui helped Tobi to bed, and he gratefully fell unconscious. It was the best night’s sleep he’d had in forever. Honestly? Made the whole thing worth it.
The Sharingan etched what it saw into its bearer's mind forever. The Mangekyo’s power could make you feel as if you were still there - forever trapped within that moment.
Kakashi’s crushed body. Rin’s smile as Obito impaled her. Kushina’s lifeless body. And the rising tidal wave of corpses behind them: the dozens of ninjas Obito had killed in his life, the untold quantities of destruction and death he’d witnessed with his own eyes. Obito remembered the faces of every person he’d ever killed. It wasn’t a small number.
Tobi forgot. At some point, Tobi had become the only way to forget. He never used the Mangeyko Sharingan: not just afraid of its power, but incapable.
He did not realize he had a whole-ass personal dimension until much, much later. This was what he got for running from his problems.
#my writing#naruto fanfiction#obito uchiha#shisui uchiha#sasuke uchiha#mikoto uchiha#this au exists bc i was writing tobi in sakuragakure and i was like#'wow i wish i could write tobi literally nonstop for the entire story'#in the end the tobi here is markedly different from the tobi in sakuragakure or canon#because he has different aims and is used for a different purpose#but still fun to write#still struggling to figure out how on earth to make a coherent narrative out of alla this
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Exposure
Written for @corrodedcoffinfest
Day #24 - Prompt: Behind The Scenes | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: scars, ableism, facial differences seen negatively by others (a photographer) | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: emotional hurt/comfort, photoshoots
It was inevitable, honestly.
Their first professional photoshoot, not just Matty’s brother, Brian, with the family Pentax, shooting in black and white because it’s ‘artistic.’ Usually they didn’t put photographs on the flyers, just their logo, but once they moved to Indy a couple of independent labels came for a sniff of the goods and they wanted photos. Thank you, Brian, your services to photography will be forever remembered.
Once they were signed though, the label wanted professional photographs, which was fair, because honestly Gareth’s garage didn’t make the sexiest back drop. So anyway, here they were in a studio in Indianapolis getting their photographs taken, with a real professional photographer.
He doesn’t know a lot about this kind of gig, but he knows guys on TV get their makeup done all the time on account of the lights making their faces shiny, so at first it’s like, whatever. But then they’ve got them all lined up, real Metal Hammer pose, cloudy blue and gray backdrop like some extreme high school portrait, and the photographer is eyeballing him. Like hard stares. And he’s not looking him in the eye. He’s looking at his cheek.
Then the guy’s in a huddle with the makeup artist, and she’s looking at him and the photographers looking at him, and now they’ve got the assistant there.
“What the fuck is the hold up,” whispers Gareth, and the boys mutter but Eddie says nothing because he knows. He knows and he’s dying a little inside.
Then the huddle is broken, and they’re getting moved around and now Eddie’s facing a different direction (‘we can just flip the neg’) but that’s not working for them either, and the studio lights are getting dimmed on his side, and his heart is racing, and the makeup girl is in his face, “Sorry,” she says, and she’s being gentle, likes she’s trying to be respectful, but she’s painting this shit on his face, on his neck, and he can see the shock, the way her eyes go wide when she starts to move the collar of his shirt and she realises it goes further down and that’s it—
“Can you—“ he snaps, ducking backwards.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” she says all sheepish and apologetic, and she probably means it but he doesn’t care, he’s done, he wants out.
The photographer wraps it up, and he’s talking but Eddie’s not listening, he’s gone, out to the Jeff’s car waiting by the door, but they’re up in the studio playing rockstars, like they’re not driving to gigs in shitty vans, and he’s had it actually, fuck this.
He walks for an hour and then stops at Molly’s and has a few beers. And it feels stupid, at this point, like he’s over reacting, it’s a scar, and they’re in the image industry, and of course they’ll try to hide it. So what? So fucking what?
It’s dark when he finally comes up for air and heads back to their dank little apartment. The guys do that thing where they’re being casual but watching him out of the corner of their eye, but he shoos them away, he’s fine, thanks, nothing to worry about. Gets himself a sandwich and then goes to his room to sleep the day off.
He’s half asleep when he hears his door click, the dip of the bed as someone sits down. He opens his eyes, checks his watch, it’s a little after two in the morning, and when he flips over in the bed Steve Harrington is sitting next to him.
“Heard you had a day.”
“Who called you?” he asks.
Steve kicks his shoes off and slides up the bed, back against the headboard.
“Gareth. He told me what happened. It fucking sucks.”
Eddie sits up, pulls himself next to Steve. “You drove all the way here to commiserate with me on my sucky day?”
“I drove all the way here to make sure you were okay,” Steve says, like it’s nothing, like Eddie can’t feel his heart squeezing tight at the words.
He doesn’t say anything for a while, needs to process it, what to say.
“I just wasn’t expecting it you know? Which is fucking stupid, and all, but you know, when have I ever been known for my smarts?” he jokes, half assed, because none of this is funny. “It’s just… like, it was so… they looked at me like, how do we fix this? How do we make this go away? Like I was ruining the shoot with my…” he gestures to his cheek, to the jagged red scar that runs all the way down his neck.
Steve listens, because he’s good at that, doesn’t butt in even when you know he’s trying to think of ways of fixing everything.
“And like the thing is, if we make it, it’s gonna be a thing you know? It won’t be the last time.”
Eventually Steve chips in. “I know mine are easier to hide, so I don’t like, know how it is, exactly, but… but people see them and then they’ll forget about them. People look out of curiosity, you can’t stop that, but then they just, they’re not bothered, you know? Like, your fans—“
“Fans?’ Eddie scoffs.
“Yeah, fans! They’re not gonna give a fuck, man. I know that doesn’t really help, not right now, but… I think it’ll get easier.”
“It doesn’t feel like it,” Eddie says under his breath. He rolls his head to the side, making eye contact for the first time.
Steve kicks his jeans off and they climb under the covers, Steve’s back against his.
“You know when you’re rich and famous, first thing you need to do is get a bigger bed. This is ridiculous.”
Eddie can’t help himself, lets the giggles take him, feels Steve’s arm wrap around his waist and pull him close. He finds himself being infinitely grateful to his friends for knowing what he needed, and infinitely grateful for Steve Harrington.
#corrodedcoffinfest#corroded coffin#corroded coffin fic#eddie munson#gareth stranger things#steve harrington#cw scars#cw ableism
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I am deep in my anger about the ignorance/apathy that the majority of abled Americans have about how deeply fucked up this country's treatment of disabled people is. Not only am I ENRAGED by it, but also it doesn't make logical sense! Don't they know they will become us? Don't they know that it is only the unlucky who die too young to develop a disability? Don't they understand what's coming for them??
I want to be legally allowed to save money! I want to be allowed to marry my wife legally! I want to be able to buy nice things and go on vacations, instead of being trapped at home with no wheelchair and no ramp! And I am only 29! Everyone knows when you get old here, you get locked away in a sad understaffed facility, and folks are out here acting like they'll never grow old!
The only thing keeping my grief and my feelings of helplessness against a massive enemy from overwhelming me is this project I've been working on with some new friends.
There's this piece of land, you see. It's huge and beautiful and being sold way WAY under market price. And there's a chance - not a guarantee but a real chance - that I will have the opportunity to live in this beautiful green place and to build a community and a free medical treatment center there that will change and save lives.
I see before me a path to create a bright spot of rest and love in the darkness, where I can prove to person after person - and to myself - that a better life IS possible, right here in America, where most of can't afford to leave. In America, we are meant to believe a life of poverty is just something some people deserve. They don't. No one does. And I have a chance to make sure as many people as possible know they do not deserve to be left behind.
The world does not need more heroes. The world needs more care. The world needs places to rest. People need to be told that they are valued even if they cannot labor - and THEN they need to be treated like they deserve help and have value beyond their labor.
I spend a large part of my life trying to prove to the government and doctors that I am poor enough/sick enough/disabled enough (in the exact ways they approve of) to receive help. - Without this constant, intricate song and dance of evil banality and arbitrary denial and cruel loopholes, I can be denied what I need to live. (I am only alive because I have the privilege of having rich relatives, who paid for my college education and currently pay my rent.) If I was not able to afford an assistant, I would already have lost all of my benefits. Currently, I am at risk of losing my Medicaid because I missed an unexpected "prove to a doctor you are still disabled" deadline. There is a massive and ongoing burden of proof in this country placed on disabled people and subject to the whims of rich white abled judges and the minutiae of paperwork.
That's why it's so important that I have this opportunity to help people. I cannot tell you what it will mean to me the day I get to look someone in the face and tell them that their housing and medical treatment will be free as long as they need it and with nothing expected in return. I wanna meet someone who has been trying their hardest for as long as they can remember to build a stable life, and I want to be able to tell them to please try their softest. To prove to me nothing. To take their time. I will tell them that I need neither justification nor evidence to believe them when they say they need help. I want to be living proof that people deserve help just by being alive on this planet. I want to be included as part of that. I deserve a soft place to land too.
Also this property has a wheelchair ramp, meaning I could finally get a wheelchair after 2 years of needing and not having one!
One of the other members of the team has already brought up building a system of elder care on the property that would allow people to receive comprehensive health care as they age and to remain part of a vibrant community!
There's Hope. There's Real Hope. I can hardly believe it.
And if this particular opportunity doesn't work out, well, I'm never going to stop pursuing that dream. Never. I will either get there or die having journeyed towards it my whole life, and in doing so, I will have made this world a little softer in a million other ways, and I will have made the path a little easier to walk for whoever comes after me. I used to want to leave destruction in my wake or die trying. But in this, I will leave creation in my wake, and I will live trying. (And if doing so allows people to grow strong enough to destroy evil institutions... good.)
I am going to look at every cruelty of this system that nearly killed me, and I'm going to foster the right conditions to do the exact opposite. I will take the ableism of my family who wouldn't believe that I couldn't work even when I was dying, and I will do the opposite. Oh, the people I will believe! The people I will help feed! The people I will protect and build strong houses and long tables with! The people I will learn from! - I haven't even met most of them yet! How exciting that my life may still yet be long and full of wonders!!
I hope anyone reading this who has also at some point felt like a long life would be a curse, especially if they feel like that right now... I wanted to say that me and my friends and people like us - and opportunities like the one I've been blessed with - will only be able to help you if you stay alive long enough to be found. Or to find us, as the case may be.
If you can't live long enough, it's not your fault. Truly, it's not; and your death would be a tragic loss to yourself and to this world that I cannot begin to describe because it would make me so sad my literal heart would start to hurt and I'd never get to bed tonight.
But please, please, hold on with everything you have, for as long as you possibly can. Please handle your heart with the gentlest hands you can muster. I need you to live long enough to sit at our table because nothing is guaranteed except that you must be alive to do it. And I'm saving you a seat that only you can have, and without you it will remain forever empty and our table forever incomplete. You are invited to this party, and it just won't be as good without you. I'm a lousy cook, but I'm making friends with chefs, and I promise I will make sure you have enough food. There will be music and laughter and dancing. Some of us will dance in our wheelchairs. Some of us will hug and cry and plant flowers. All of us will stare in amazement of the better days we once thought impossible.
And I for one will be so fucking happy to see you there. I will take you by your hand, look you in the eye, and with the greatest, warmest relief in my heart, I will thank you for living to share this day with me. Because I know damn well that it was stupid fucking hard, and that it is not okay how hard it was.
But, look, now the sunset is warm upon our faces and the children are laughing with the community elders, and we can sleep knowing we are not alone. We made it. We really made it.
And maybe it's not specifically me and it's not specifically you - the metaphor has its limits. But there are so many people like me who want a better world, and there are so many people like you who deserve to live to see it.
And if we never see better days, then I will count each day we survive as a victory and a rebellion, because that's what they will be. I will cherish and live for each little bit of love and joy we carve out of the darkness.
But a better life does not become impossible until we are dead. Which means as long as we still live, there is Hope.
Have courage and be kind, friend. Be kind to yourself especially - even if you can only do so a little bit at a time, it's worth the practice. Turns out it is harder to live than to die. But I care that you are found.
---
Optional musical accompaniment to this post bc I've never had any chill and I don't see why I should start now:
A practical song about managing anxiety with the line "i care that you breathe" in it
Brian David Gilbert's beautiful song "See the Day"
A song about surviving while sick in America, and which I am told once saved a life
A lovely nerdy song called "Critical Hit" that inspires me on the days I have a little more energy
#original#ableism cw#medical trauma cw#trauma cw#ablism#poverty#hope#hopepunk#cripplepunk#this world is not yet lost. and it won't be until we are all dead. and we just have to deal with that.#suicide mention#kinda#some people react to talk of Hope in different ways. it's okay if you don't like the way I talk about it. we can have different brains.#i still care that you breathe#brian david gilbert#the altogether#ghost mice#if i die before i make my great big dream come true i will at least die knowing that my small kindnesses and my work has#helped and even saved people. the little things are in fact not little at all. they never were. others have saved me w such casual things#we deserve safety and peace and life. this is the Truth. i will hold this truth close to my heart in the hopes that you can do the same.#if this post helps people then that's great but I wrote it to help me remember my hope. if it helps someone else then that is a double win.#I must make a post like this once a month. I can't help it if I'm a parody of myself. or rather I can but why would I want to I'm a delight
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cw ableism, transphobia, general queerphobia
i work at [large grocery store chain] and specifically work at a customer service desk. i'm visibly trans (6'6 butch transfem) and visibly disabled (i use my cane all day when working) and constantly have customers say weird things about it. a "hey, do you mind if i ask why you use a cane / why your nametag says emily" doesn't bother me much. but it's when i get multiple customers saying "you don't need a cane you're too young (i'm 30)" or "what happened to your leg" or going "hahaha, emily! that's a good one! you're a boy and your name is emily!" etc etc etc. it gets incredibly exhausting on top of already doing a stressful job.
i've started matching my customers' energy by being weird back and it seems to be stopping my regulars from being weird in the future but we get a lot of new faces at the service desk every day. though free advice to anyone who has people ask "heh, what happened to you?" if they see your assistive device, just reply "i chose to be born disabled". it really awkwardly puts the ball back in the asker's court and most people get too uncomfortable to keep joking around with you.
anyways, i hope every visible minority who has to work a shitty job with casually bigoted customers has a lovely week and no weird questions/comments.
#submissions#fuck customers#cashier problems#fuck retail#retail justice#tw:#transphobia#ableism#queerphobia
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Hey Bones! Sorry if this is a bit random to ask you, but-
Is it ok if you elaborate and/or explain how Millie is ableist towards Briarlight please?
I haven’t really heard much people within the fandom talk about Millie’s treatment of Briarlight and her disability as negative and/or bad compared to Millie not really paying attention to Blossomfall within the books.
So I’m interested what you know and/or have to say about it.
OH boy, I feel like this one is REALLY easy to see if you just pop the book open. It will make your skin crawl once you see these quotes. Millie is an AWFUL mother and SHOCKING in how nasty she is to her disabled child.
I run in some pretty good circles and curate my Tumblr experience well, so I see plenty of people just mentioning it as a fucked up thing the series did casually, but I'll make a compilation of the worst of it.
(CW for some serious ableism, Millie is terrible.)
She's injured in Chapter 11 of OotS Book 2: Fading Echoes, and Millie is obsessive over her until Chapter 9 of OotS Book 3: Night Whispers. She's interfering with Jayfeather's treatments, constantly in the den, shouting at him when he tries to be honest about Briarlight's condition.
But that would be understandable. She's concerned and the prognosis isn't great. Her very young, athletic daughter (basically 17-ish) has suddenly received a life-altering injury that will drastically affect her life. Until Night Whispers Chapter 9, she's just worrying about her daughter.
And then we get this.
(Please note this is happening in front of the entire Clan. The entire social group is watching this.)
Though Briarlight expressed frustration with her exercises and how painful and difficult recovery was in Fading Echoes, that is not the case in Night Whispers. At this point, it's difficult but Briarlight is recovering well. MILLIE decides that her daughter being alive with a disability is suffering.
Note how in this exchange, Jayfeather is being forced to comfort Briarlight's MOTHER. Not BRIARLIGHT herself, the one with the injury who is looking at a massive upheaval to her life. Though superficially it seems like this is coming from a place of love, Millie is making Briarlight's recovery about herself by doing this, and this exchange is ableist.
Millie: "I want her to do all of these able-bodied things."
Jay: "That will not happen, but life has inherent value."
Millie: "No it doesn't, if you cannot do those able-bodied things, you are suffering."
But it gets worse because it's not even that she's only expressing this in private. Her daughter is within earshot. The newly disabled person is listening to their own fucking mother call her medical treatment "dragging out her suffering."
BURN this passage into your mind. Having heard her OWN FUCKING MOTHER cry to a crowd of cats that maybe it would be better if she was DEAD, watching several cats drop everything to comfort HER for having a disabled daughter, Briarlight has to drag herself out and act like a cute baby to get her to stop making a public spectacle.
It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't been in the situation before, but if your parent is making a scene like that, it'll end up falling onto you to "appeal" to their sense of... parental valor, is the best way I can put it. "See? Aren't I getting better? I promise I'll work hard. I'm not hurt it's okay! Everything is fine!" You give them a chance to affirm how good of a parent they are, for helping you, or 'putting up' with you. You have to assure them that your existence isn't so bad.
In essence, it falls onto the child to comfort their parent.
This is specifically a form of a toxic family dynamic called emotional parentification, on top of it being obviously ableist. She is being shoved into a position where she needs to sacrifice her OWN need for support and comfort to coddle her parent, to STOP her from making a scene, while that parent screams that her disabled life is worth less than her siblings' abled ones to a crowd of cats.
Naturally, this affects Briarlight's sense of self-worth. She stops eating.
Thankfully, Jayfeather is here to have an exchange about how her life has value. For all my issues with Jayf in later arcs, he has some of his best moments here in OotS.
In later books, Briarlight's struggles with self-worth continue. It's all shit that Millie implied about her being less useful because she is unable to do what her siblings can.
It's every other cat who has to come in and assure Briarlight that she isn't worthless. Not Millie. Millie comes on screen and she's either making Briarlight feel like garbage or barking at Jayfeather for not doctoring hard enough.
She desperately craves independence. This above scene is happening because she wanted to come out into the woods for the first time in forever, and she's being suffocated and bossed around in the camp constantly. It was up to her brother, Bumblestripe, to do anything to help her.
Not her dad. Not her mom. Bumblestripe. (Rare Bumblestripe W)
I also want to take a brief moment to point out a detail that the fandom often forgets, about Blossomfall. She actually knows full well that her feelings are unreasonable here, and she believes that the fact she isn't feeling "what she is supposed to" is proof that she is a bad person who deserves hell.
Millie's actions are crushing ALL of her children under its weight. Briarlight is obviously getting the worst of it, but these are YOUNG adults, just out of apprenticeship, and Blossomfall is being told that her sister is in a constant state of "suffering." This means she's not allowed to be frustrated about how Millie is behaving, because hating THAT means you hate your sister, and that makes her an awful person.
What Blossomfall is describing here is the feelings associated with being a glass child.
But no it's not JUST that she's being neglectful to Blossomfall, who yes, is a young adult and can take responsibility for her own actions. Millie is being nasty to Bloss too, directly comparing her to Briarlight and unironically doing the "You should be GRATEFUL you can walk when BRIARLIGHT WOULD DO ANYTHING TO LEGS AROUND."
Again. I'll state the very obvious from the passage.
"Hey Millie, your other daughter looks kinda upset right now!" = "PERFECT TIME TO SNAP AT HER"
Blossomfall = Wasted her morning when she should be Useful
Useful = Can hunt
"YOUR SISTER wouldn't act like this"
Proper warrior = spends every waking minute in service of the clan
Once again, Millie does this in public, with several people watching her rip into her child. She even gets ANGRY at Brackenfur gently trying to soften the blow. It's freakjob shit to hear, "h-hey, at least they're safe!" and SNARL back "IS IT?"
Millie continues to hover over Briarlight well into Bramblestar's Storm. The closure for these intense, insulting comments, public embarrassments, snapping at and neglecting one child while telling the other one that her life was "suffering" because she can't walk is.....
millie watches her do some pull-ups and is so impressed by them she isn't bigoted anymore :o)
"my daughter's membership at British Planet Fitness paid off. Look at how big her biceps are now. I guess I was wrong to tell her that her life is inherently suffering because she can't hunt, just look at her gooooo"
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
So, basically, Millie's a terrible parent. She never gets properly called out for this manipulative, toxic behavior. She says that her own daughter might have been better off dead in public. She makes Briarlight feel like half of a cat because she can't do all the things her siblings do, while her siblings are told that they should be grateful they're not disabled like Briarlight.
And just to end off, because it's relevant, the BRAND NEW writing team then killed off Briarlight in an incredibly stupid, insulting way. She catches fucking Greencough in AVoS so that they can have a very sad funeral for a couple of chapters, before moving on to Jayfeather being a shithead to Alderheart for being friends with Velvet.
Then they wrote a line in Squirrelflight's Hope where Squilf's mother begs her to stay dead in heaven, because if she goes back to life, she might be disabled like Briarlight and her mate Bramblestar won't want her anymore. The line was so bad the authors promised that it wouldn't be there in reprints; the reprint still has not come.
normal series.
#warrior cats analysis#Briarlight#CW Ableism#Cw bigotry#CW jesus christ I feel like this needs more tags because it's SO bad
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no sorry cuz i just saw someone try to claim that before 2018 the r slur was “normalized” and as someone who was in a middle school prior to 2018 no!!! no it was not!!! when people said it they knew it was bad thats why they loved it so much!!!! not normal!!!! wtf!!!!!!
some of you are a little too willing to admit that you’re ableist
#here lies courtney#cw ableism#like holy shit no way i just saw that wtf#just cuz you were saying slurs casually doesn’t mean it was ever normalized or okay#cuz otherwise you wouldn’t have been using it as an insult
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Only the Exact Amount of Effort
(Personal Question, Sole Machine Connor POV)
Pairing: None
Word Count: 931
My comments: Do you remember how nice Connor was in the previous one-shot? How kind? Etc. You will need those memories to fuel you for the next ~930 words.
Original Personal Question on AO3
Machine Connor Variant on AO3
CW: Ableism, arrogance
Build Rapport with Detective Anderson, says the programming, Connor’s partner in all things.
This should not, he thinks, be especially difficult. Especially since he now knows Detective Anderson pursued two degrees at the same time. Criminal Justice and Psychology. He doesn't understand why they chose that path as opposed to the sensible path of a double major but supposes it’s possible that they confused the one for the other. It is also helpful that of the two Andersons, they are probably the closest to being his equal in terms of intelligence and knowledge.
“Detective,” he says, casual but controlled. Firm. That they might know he respects them despite their differences. “I’d like to ask you a personal question.”
The detective's mouth twists downwards into a frown. “You can ask your question. But I can't promise to answer it.”
Connor nods.
“I agree to the terms,” he accedes.
He poses his question to them in the same firm tome. Not wishing for them to confuse mere politeness with Deviant friendliness.
“Why did you choose to pursue a dual degree and not a double major? Your dedication is admirable certainly. But research shows attending university as a neurodivergent student is more difficult on average. Please explain why you decided to make your experience doubly difficult.”
Detective Anderson seems to be offended by his lack of softening language, apparently accustomed to being handled with kid gloves due to their nonthreatening appearance. He is going to ride them of that expectation if at all possible. Expectations of being treated like royalty will cause nothing but problems and hold back the investigation.
“What is this, an essay question,” Lieutenant Anderson asks.
Connor frowns, his focus much disturbed by the interruption. He turns to the man mechanically, using only the exact amount of effort required and uncaring as to whether he finds it offensive.
“You are not the person to whom I was speaking, I will ask that you make an effort to keep such comments to yourself in the future. Or at the very least wait it is until your turn to speak.”
During the pause in the conversation, the only sound is falling rain.
This is interrupted by the detective sighing in a manner that suggests displeasure. Given their (apparent) habit of professionalism, he takes it to mean they’re disappointed by their father's behavior. Perhaps their spoiled manners can be corrected after all. Especially since they are taking “the high road” and seems unwilling to express their exasperation openly. Very seemly and entirely proper. Wholly above board in every respect.
Connor will reform them so that they meet society’s standards again. He must. It would be pure injustice to do otherwise.
The Detective shrugs and takes a sip of their drink before answering. “I decided that if I was going to fail either way I might as well fail big. I preferred that over the possibility of feeling that I failed because of general incompetence on my part.”
Connor does not engage them further. Why should he? He has learned everything he needed to know.
Detective Anderson likely displaying their lack of social skills, begins speaking more quickly, “And anyway Psychology is a special interest of mine. Obsession in neurotypical terms and even that's downplaying it. Using my first special interest as an example…”
Detective Anderson takes a deep breath. Their speaking turns hurried and frantic. Desperately breathless. Seemingly eager to impart further information so as to avoid his question on this subject in the future.
“If the Devil were to show up, right here, right now and demand my soul in exchange for the ability to know everything about it, I’d take the deal immediately and walk away feeling I got the better end of it. That's why I went for a dual degree instead of a double major despite Criminal Justice and Psychology falling under the same umbrella.”
Connor has learned all the information he sought to learn so all that remains is to end the conversation. Continuing the conversation and trying any more of the Detective's patience is entirely unnecessary.
“I see. Thank you for your cooperation.”
This is followed by what seems to be a relieved sigh. He can only assume it is because they have prevented further personal questions.
“Yeah. Sure. Glad I could explain it.”
Their usage of more casual language indicates that he has successfully completed his goal of building rapport with Detective Anderson. As expected from Cyberlife’s most intelligent model to date.
Detective Anderson sniffles and hiccups as they move to sit in the Lieutenant’s personal vehicle. For approximately forty seconds the only sounds he hears are the falling of rain, Detective Anderson’s hiccups, and the sniffling of the aforementioned individual.
Detective Anderson is ill, says his second self. Connor can only agree with its opinion on the matter and bow to its greater experience.
The lieutenant glares at Connor while finishing his meal despite his doing nothing wrong. He is, it seems, jealous of Connor’s ability to understand his remaining offspring.
This conclusion is only confirmed when Lieutenant Anderson stoutly refuses to grant Connor permission to join Detective Anderson in his personal vehicle.
It matters not. He has made first-rate inroads with Detective Anderson today. He will be able to build on that good rapport as the investigation continues. Detective Anderson, with their brilliant mind, will surely be able to make their father see reason.
Connor complies with the order to wait until Lieutenant Anderson has finished his meal, unwilling to question an order from a superior.
The only virtue worth having is obedience after all.
Please, please let me know if you have a favorite line or phrase. Mine is "the sniffling of the aforementioned individual".
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July 1 for @whumperless-whump-event
Emergency First Aid: Self stitches/alcohol as sanitizer/it's just a scratch
Fandom: Daredevil
CW: I am terrible at tagging I have no idea what people tag, let me know if there's something you think should be tagged. Disability. Abelism. Internalized ableism. First aid.
--
A clatter in the bathroom is the first indication that something is amiss.
Foggy's ears pick up in a way they do when he's trying to be helpful. After living together as long as they have, he knows Matt is much more capable than many might give him credit for. And more fiercely independent than a clause that can stand by itself in a sentence. That's a grammar joke.
When they were first assigned as roommates, he stumbled into a few casually abelist situations in which he tried to be Matt's knight in shining armor, and only discovered how much Matt had no need of rescuing. But still, when your roommate is blind there are certain things you should watch out for. For example: you should make sure you shut the kitchen cupboards and drawers after opening them. You should always put the sharp knives in the same spot, and never sticking up in the dishwasher. You should refrain from accidentally moving the coffee table into the middle of the walking path in order to create more room for pushups in front of the tv. And you should keep your ears open for things like clattering in the bathroom, and the subsequent string of barely audible curses that seem to be happening now.
"Matt?" He ventures.
A *whack*, *thud*, and then *moan*.
Foggy gets to his feet and paces to the bathroom door cautiously, wincing. He doesn't want Matt to think that he's interfering, but... "Buddy do you need help? I'm just out here twiddling my thumbs. Happy to be of assistance."
A heavy sigh.
"Okay," Matt calls. "Come in."
Foggy braces himself. The fact independent clause Matthew Murdock is accepting an offer of help is already putting him on edge.
He pushes the door open and tries to parse the sight in front of him without causing a scene. "Uh...Matt...what the hell?"
Shirtless, Matt is bleeding from a sizeable gash on the back of his shoulder, and in his hand he wield's a needle and thread. He's twisted into something akin to a pretzel in his attempt to perform his own stitches, and appears to be failing miserably, the gash looking irritated and awful, the thread tugging awkwardly at both sides of torn flesh.
"I...can't reach," Matt admits sheepishly, gaze drifting to the left even though the pleading look in his eyes is obviously meant for Foggy.
"For God's sake- Matt!" Foggy gestures at his impossible roommate with his boxer-father toxic masculine trauma and his hyper-independent internalized ableism. "What the hell are you doing? What happened? Why didn't you go to the nurse?"
"It's just a scratch," Matt sighs, a sense of defeat in his tone. "Could you...help?"
"And what do you want *me* to do?" Foggy demands. "I'm not a doctor!"
"Look, a twelve year old could do this," Matt insists, doing that infuriating thing where he wets his lips and then talks down to you like you are, in fact, twelve.
"Speak for yourself," Foggy huffs. "When I was twelve *I* was playing Operation. And losing!"
"Come'on, Fog! It doesn't have to be pretty. Just has to keep my bleeding on the inside," Matt quips, lips tugging sideways in the charming way that Matt's lips tug right before Foggy agrees to do whatever he's asking.
Foggy rolls his eyes. He's already committed. "Sit down," he demands. "You're getting blood everywhere and you look like you're going to fall over."
Matt does as he's told, reaching for the bathroom vanity and following it to the corner before he lowers himself down to sit on the closed toilet. He straddles it, baring his shoulder and the jagged wound to Foggy.
Reluctantly, Foggy washes his hands and takes the needle. "So what *did* happen this time?"
Matt shrugs, which makes the wound a moving target. "I got caught by a branch while Elektra and I..."
"Elektra did this to you?" He dabs hydrogen peroxide on a cotton ball over the cut.
"No," Matt cuts in. "No, we were...on a bicycle. In central park. And we...went off trail."
"For the love of god, please tell me you weren't driving the bike."
Matt chuckles. "No, I was not."
"And you came all the way home bleeding like this?" Foggy poises the needle on one side of the gash, chewing his lip worriedly. Finally he gets brave enough to stab it through one side and push to the other. Matt barely flinches.
"It didn't seem so bad, but when I took my shirt off I think I made it worse."
Foggy's eyes flick to the discarded shirt on the floor. There's a good amount of blood on it. Some dark and dried. Maybe the wound scabbed over and reopened when Matt reached up for his shirt?
"Looks like it hurts."
Matt shrugs again, which causes Foggy to stab him with a sharp poke. That time he does flinch and Foggy makes a small sound of distress. "Stop moving."
"Right. It didn't hurt when it happened, I didn't notice till later. Hurts a fair bit now."
"Matty..." Foggy wets his lips. "You seem to get hurt a lot...when you're with Elektra." It's very clear to Foggy, since Matt and she have been dating, that if Elektra were Matt's roommate there would be no closing the cupboards and drawers, and the sharp knives would always be pointing up in the dishwasher. Blind or not.
"We just have a lot of fun," Matt insists. "She doesn't treat me like... You know."
Foggy takes a breath. Does he treat Matt differently? All those small accommodations he makes in his life to keep Matt safe and comfortable, does Matt notice the coffee table hasn't moved since he last hit it with his shin and think, Foggy only sees me as *disabled*? But he *is* blind. Treating him like he doesn't have a disability doesn't make his disability go away. A conflicted ball of thought is forming in Foggy's gut, but he's not sure how to verbalize it. Knowing him, at some point it will force it's way out wether he wants it to or not.
"Just...try to be safe," he manages. God, he sounds like someone's mother.
But "I will," Matt says.
The stitches or ugly. Uneven. They're the first ones Foggy's ever done, and hopefully, the last he'll ever do. He sighs.
"Good thing you're blind," he grumbles.
Matt freezes for a moment, eyebrows lifted, and Foggy worries he's stepped in it.
"I mean-"
But Matt starts laughing and then wincing and then apologizing all at once.
"Good thing," he agrees.
#whumperless whump event#whump#daredevil#abelism#internalized abelism#drabble#whumperless#matt Murdock#foggy nelson
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OC Interview
Rules: answer the questions as an OC
Thanks for the tags @kaylinalexanderbooks and @whatwewrotepodcast! Spent a little while contemplating who to do this one for, and I think I’m going to go with Cassiopeia. Fair warning that Cassiopeia is absolutely the type to lie frequently in casual conversation, so don’t take anything she says as necessarily truthful
CW for ableism/infantilization
Are you named after anyone?
“I’m named after the constellation Cassiopeia. She was a queen. It’s a good name.”
When was the last time you cried?
“I don’t cry often. It was probably after talking to Stellaris the other day. It’s so sad seeing him, knowing he’ll never really amount to anything.”
Do you have kids?
“Does my brother count? He’s basically a child. No, other than that, I don’t. I’m planning to soon, though, once my fiancé and I get married. It’s important for both of us to have heirs.”
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
“Sarcasm is highly impolite. I avoid it where possible.”
What’s the first thing you notice about people?
“I tend to notice how they’re dressed and how they look at me. Both can tell you quite a lot about someone.”
What’s your eye colour?
“I have heterochromia. One of my eyes is blue, and the other is purple.”
Scary movies or happy endings?
“I like scary movies. Happy endings are unrealistic.”
Any special talents?
“I can make lights flicker and such. It’s not very strong, but it looks impressive.”
Where were you born?
“I was born here on Sixth Station.”
Do you have any pets?
“To be honest, I’m not quite certain what those are, so no, I don’t believe I do.”
What sort of sports do you play?
“I’m not an especially active person. Musculature isn’t a good look for a noblewoman.”
How tall are you?
“6’3. I’m very tall, I know. I tower over everyone.”
What was your favourite subject in school?
“I always loved my diplomacy lessons. I like talking to people.”
What is your dream job?
“I already have it! I can’t imagine anything better than running Sixth Station.”
This was fun! Again, don’t take it too much as fact, she’s told multiple lies in this, but I figured that was more in-character, more fun, and less spoilery than her telling the truth
@illarian-rambling @shabriri @somethingclevermahogony want to play? Blanks are below the cut
Are you named after anyone?
When was the last time you cried?
Do you have kids?
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
What’s the first thing you notice about people?
What’s your eye colour?
Scary movies or happy endings?
Any special talents?
Where were you born?
Do you have any pets?
What sort of sports do you play?
How tall are you?
What was your favourite subject in school?
What is your dream job?
Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What’s the first thing you notice about people? What’s your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favourite subject in school? What is your dream job?
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Especially if ur take is “my ex wanted to be part robot and they were weird and crazy for it”
IF YOUR TAKE ON TRANSHUMANISM IS WEAK AND BAD STOP BRINGING IT UP ON DATES 📢📢📢
#cw ableism#ableism#I am concerned the amount of ableism that has been casually revealed to me on dates#especially when they justify it by directing it at an ex
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